#Im going nowhere in life
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I hate the fact that I exist
I swear it would be better for everyone if I never did
#The last two days have been shit and I am just done with it#I also physically can't even cry about it cause my body refuses to make tears#Im a shit person who doesn't deserve to cry over it though#Im a shitty friend#Shitty sibling#Shitty child#Shitty cousin#Shitty student#I don't know why people put up with me#Im probably right about everyone hating me cause if I hate me why wouldn't they#Im also not letting myself listen to joker out or jann or any songs i really like so I don't associate them with feeling this shit later#Its all my fucking fault that I can't keep a friend for more than a year#Im gonna die alone#Friendless and familyless#I fucking deserve to#Im also shit at everything I try#I suck at bass#I suck at art#Singing too#School stuff isn't good either#Im going nowhere in life#Im gonna fail all my gcses#Then not be able to do a levels or any courses I want to do then I'm gonna end up homeless cause my dad will kick me out for being queer#Probably
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more gym motivation for those in desperate need
#oscarchive#new tag for old content to prevent confusion#the song in the og clip sucked so enjoy my manwhore taste#waist. ass. back. chest. knotted eyebrows in pain. yeaaa yea.#god as my witness im going nowhere nice after this life#oscar piastri#gymoscar#repost bc the rdl clip was begging to be slowed down
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It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.
Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.
Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?
Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.
Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.
But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.
Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.
#obviously everyone is different#journaling my feelings and telling myself that my friends are so awesome that they deserve other friends#will not help every single person that gets jealous#but as a polyamorous person who has bpd and forms fps on my partners most often#ive learned how to cope with my jealousy without becoming overbearing and mean#it took me nearly my entire teenage life and im still nowhere near perfection#this isnt an instant process and im never going to stop feeling jealous#but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it#{ ♡ } nao : misc . . .#jealousy#jealous#relationships#relationship troubles#bpd#borderline personality disorder#npd#narcassistic personality disorder#i dont know how common jealousy is in npd but it sure affects me a lot so#umm#mental illness#mental health#mental health advice#mental health support#bpd help#bpd support
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i think martha kent should get to threaten rex leech with a shotgun tbh
#rimi talks#many people in kon's life would happily line up to punt this guy and i think that's beautiful#i think clark would have some Feelings about not realizing that kon's living situation was as fucked up as it was#and i would also love to see this. bc like kon also doesn't realize it was fucked up. and is so determined to be independent#but also i feel like i have to add 7386482 disclaimers. NOBODY BLAME CLARK FOR EDITORIAL DECISIONS#just bc clark carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and blames himself for everything DOESN'T MEAN THAT'S CORRECT#(also. ill take traits kon inherited from clark for $800)#anyway im getting off track. the point is. rex coming back into kon's life at some point way down the line could be soooo juicy#like the contrast of kon having a real support system. and being older and less naive.#many directions it could go in. have ma hate rex's ass or lois eviscerate him. have clark and kon have a heart to heart about it.#have tim threaten and blackmail him again bc i still think that's fucking hilarious.#have kara hear about what happened and be filled with righteous fury that has nowhere to go. bc kon wouldn't actually want him hurt#have roxy step in before anyone else has the chance. let her go dad what the FUCK?#it's about the number of people who love and want to protect kon. unlike what happened the first time around#the kontrast of it all. if you will.#and also about kon getting some kind of closure that a grown ass adult Using him as a child was not actually his fault#ough..........
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Hello, I don't know how to ask this properly, but I need help. I have rent due at the end of this month and I 100% can not afford it. I work full time at a job that already didn't pay enough to cover all of my bills, but rent has gone up as of this month. I have to pay almost $200 more than before. I'm in the middle of searching for a new job, but I will not have the money in time.
My husband can't work so I am the only source of income for us. Every single dollar I make is just to cover necessities. We don't have any savings.
Please help me not get evicted.
Cashapp: $fwuffybirb
$335/$800
#if you cant do cashapp please message me#im so serious rn i will be kicked out if i cant pay this rent#i have nowhere to go#please help us#do you want my life story ill tell you just help us
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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sigh i wanna move back to scotland
#i just wanna be closer to everyone again#but idk where to go bc i dont wanna live where i was before bc its just farm#but im afraid nowhere but where i was will feel like home bc thats what i knew most of my life#but i wna see new places n live different places before i try settle anywhere but its too scary
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im so
im so .. insane about him right now
I LOVE HIS BIG PEEPERS . HIS BIG PEEPERS WHEN HES SO DEEP IN THE ZONE !!! ITS ALMOST EERIE LIKE AUHGDJJFGGH
look at him hugging his bag. look at his sproing.
i love!!!!! when his eye goes
BOKUTO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#YOU NEVER SEE THE CHARACTER HYPERFIXATIONS COMING IS THE THING#THEY JSUT HIT YOU OVE RTHE HEAD OUT OF NOWHERE#haikyuu#bokuto koutarou#i was gonna go to bed like. 2 whole hours ago and instead i gave myself a headache looking at my phone bc i need to see bokuto right now or#i will fall apart#forgive this incomprehensible post i need to get my love of him out everywhere. ranting on discord is not enough. tumblr must know as well.#if i was coherent and had a way with words i would write an essay about him as a character but alas art remains my only outlet#bokuto jsut makes me SO emotional??? its so weird idk. i will see him and immediately want to cry bc im so overcome w feelings.#hes jsut so good#hes so so mcuh larger than life that it makes me eant to cry like hes so and also so but also so and so like its crazy damn i cant yknow
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OFMD fucked me up in an indescribable way. Not a day has gone by where i haven't thought about the red flags soup
#i'd be going about my everyday life and then im suddenly hit with a ''GOD i want some of that soup'' outta nowhere#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd zheng yi sao#zheng yi sao
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hey sorry it's me again (<- girl who needs to go to sleep) urrhm ok walks into ur office with a stack of papers it's me secretary over apologizer
anywah rum um um th hey hi so uh looks around can weeee talk about the really big theme of nowhere to hide in the book and the game interchangeably like um. um. hi. okay so I'm literally laying in bed right now complete darkness like oh wow the characters oh wow oh wow smacks into a wall face first. and um um
okay like I just feel like god this thing with like.. yeagh.. there really is nowhere to hide from your parents ❤ that's literally the ultimate thing being a child like you can't just LEAVE and that's actually such a scary ass theme and the way the house keeps getting put on more and more lockdown in the game is like This is so alarming ❤ BUT that doesn't happen (or isnt stated) in the book, the difference in the book since u havent read it is just that oz doesn't leave for a few days because he's scared and can hear the. the thing standing outside his door all the time and it's like (steps up to microphone) WOW I LOVE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LITERALLY NOT BEINF ABLE TO JUST LEAVE AND THE MENTAL STATE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO Just Leave um and the way you run out of places to go in the game is so like ohhfmygodd sorry it's just really good like the game feels like it's suffocating that boy like u gotta get out of here because soon there will physically be no exit !! and the way the hiding minigames work ooogg ooohhh hi hey um hi sorry this game is written so beautifully it makes me physically nauseous only good fnaf game ever. uh but the hiding games not being designed like traditional hiding mechanics in games like holding a door shut or something, but stuff like oh keep the spiders away because it feels more like SORRY KID THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO OTHER THAN SIT THERE AND PRAY havr fun!!! ob my god head in hands like You can try to stop the toys or not breathe so scared but you can't physically hold a door shut because you're too little 🙁🙁😞😞😞😢 this game is so alarming I hate it not really but it's like ohntmmgdos and and and and hi hey okay so more with nowhere to hide like
I said this in my insane tags on that one post but the way that every single adult is like Oh you're so fucking strange weird little kid causing trouble . like it's not only like he can't tell anyone because he'd sound crazy but the universe being predisposed to everyone not listening to children about anything ever is like I feel like I've been punched in the face thanks like directly in the jaw my teeth r on the floorrr
like ugh I h h RATTLES BARS
um and and and looks around :c I can say more things but I just yeagh..
YEAAAAAAAA ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEFUCMING. AHHHHHH !!!!!!! thats smth i REALLY REALLY like abt into the pit like you REALLY feel like ur put into the shoes of a kid here you can only do so much while trying and experiencing shit wayyyy bigger than yourself, n it just elevates the horror bc like, obv ur oarent/someone you love being replaced by an imperfect impostir is already a scary notion. n being a CHILD TOO????? like fuckkkkk man your options r dwindling. n the way kuds r treated in society n shit as well as eveything else, oswalds just a kid, hes in sixth grade like?????? how do you deal w this???????? theres a fucking EVIL ANIMAL in your house. the world is already si scary as achild w/o all this but yhis maies it ten yimes worse, AND your home isnt even safe either. the amount if stress n trauma this kid experiences in a work week is fuxking insane hashtag justice for ozwald gotdamn.
AD AND i still xant stop thinking about the fat like. oswald is forced to relive the trauma of the events n shit that transpired a freddys, from the child victims at the pizzeria, to Michaels and the crying childs in his own home. smth smth themes of generational trauma n whatever its insane my brian explodes into ten million bloody chunks.
n what u said abt the book..... man........ imagine being holed up in ur room for days in end bc of The Thing on the other end of the door. like LITERALLY FNAF 4 SHIT GODDD. oswald reliving the trauma of the entire fnaf franchise in five nights like: INSANEEE. CRAZYYYYY.
#asks#js-sexchange-surgeon-steinman#fnaf#fnaf into the pit#fuckkk..... aughhhhh......#bwing put im the shoe sof a child for this just make sit all the more horrific. n also frames the earlier fnaf games as WORSE like yeah it#didnt go down exactly like this but thats still so fucking hecay for achild. a CHILD . aughhh !!!!!!#nowhere to run..... nowherw to hide........ just lik the kidsin the pizzeria ouuuuuu ouuuuuuuu......... n the animatronics...... stuck somew#here familiar turned sour as your forced to fight for your life is the only ways you know/you can........#theres so fucking much here an dim dining and wining on every last scrap of it nomnonomnomnomonomonomomomonomjomjomomjo bites chews
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jokes about lestat being disgusted at the idea of "even touching armand" are never funny and are always racist
#you can be a loustatruther or whatever without being fucking racist about armand is literally sooooooo easy#does “lestat will always love louis the most” or “louis is the love of lestat's life” not suffice or something?#“the white guy needs a 10 foot pole to even touch the black south asian character” for shipping hahas is crazy. die!#armand is my beloved but also not real so your racism can't hurt him but how do you think the black and south asian fans in fandom feel#and like people try to backpedal after and be all “uhhhh no its because of what he did to claudia!” and you go check the op and replies#and nowhere it mentions claudia. everyone is talking how lestat's dick only belongs in louis or some shit. so its never about claudia#they just say that as a get out of im a piece of shit jail once they get caught
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SICK. "right person, wrong time."
#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK.#my HANDS are shaking.#what the fuck.#lolaa.txt#sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all.#WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE.#RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME.#WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON.#IM RIGHT PERSON.#WHAT. WHAT#HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST#I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME#HE WAS BLUSHING .#HE KISSED ME.#AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME#AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING.#AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE#i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN#FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING.#AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS?????????#only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad.#FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME#but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy.#FUCK.#FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM.#cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam.#but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed#AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up#i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER.#so there is that.
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast#Spotify
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im so angry and sad i feel like im gonna be sick
#there's nowhere for me to be around people without putting my health at risk because nobody FUCKING cares or even knows (apparently)#what the long term effects of covid are (still.)#i have to fucking educate people apparently but i don't HAVE THE EMOTIONAL RESOURCES BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING SUPPORT#i have online friends they're great but you Know what i fucking mean. i need a real life hug or im gonna [redacted]#c19#covid cautious#all caps cw !/@@€_&!#vent cw :);/€?#i feel like im in a fucking time loop im getting cabin fever i feel like im crazy because im the unfortunate one with Health Condition and#ability to read a fucking studies#i want to go home.
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When its summer im going to find a girlfriend and my parents are gonna think were homies but were hooking up and were gonna rewqtch sk8 the infinity together and then grab rat and learn how 2 skate
#never gonna hapoen but imagine bruh#idek random thought came out of nowhere <actually im listening to paradise#love sk8#cant skateborad for the life of me tho#which reminds me i need to paint my skateboard to look like rekis#reki kinnies where you at (im one)#gotta find my langa bro#anyway gonna go back to study grindset mindset
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i like girls and i like to talk about liking girls. you'd think this would be a good thing among girl likers but sometimes it does not feel like that at all
#i try not to let it bother me but it bothers me yall#attraction is normal and cool until youre actually attracted to someone. apparently.#cilly.txt#i even exaggerate it sometimes. can you believe that#i know this is about ego death and the evil fucking internal gold star lesbian thing for me but god#i wish i just didnt tell people things sometimes#because i get too comfortable talking to people and then they'll say sth and ur like oh. Oh#right.#i didn't need to say that that couldve been an inside thought#i want to share all of myself but it will never not lead to me being hurt#and thats normal kinda right. its life. but i dont like being hurt any more than your regular person#and then once they jab at something i'm actually insecure about i'm like oh okay.#like it kinda came out of nowhere today but in hindsight i knew that about myself already so it's really. hm#anyway. im gonna go draw some cats
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