#but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it

[naofaun]

It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.

Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.

Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?

Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.

Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.

But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.

Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.

[rxmxa]

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️‍🔥

my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3

Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments

Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"

Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"

Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."

Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"

Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't

Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story

[gamblersdoll]

thinking about ex boyfriend! bakugou who is so fucking smug because he was your first and doesnt ever leave you alone… smut included.

an: this shouldnt have taken all day, but today was pretty shit. 😀

you roll onto your right side, feeling the vibration of your phone buzzing. it unlocks looking at your face identifying, and you groan in annoyance. “hello?”

“mornin’ , sleepin’ slut. bad night with the new guy?” you recognize the voice, bakugou. “just wasn’t doin’ nothin’ for you, huh?” he laughs a little bit, a sigh afterwards.

“do you realize what fucking time it is?” you ask, squinting to look at the white numbers in the corner. “it two fifty three in the goddamn morning.”

“and i bet he’s gone by now, isnt he?” katsuki asks, an expectant huff.

“who?” you ask, almost damn near impersonating a actual owl. “because i dont know who the fuck you’re referring to. ive been at home all day.”

“yer’ new little boy toy. i knew youd whore yourself out to make me jealous.” he says, biting his lip when he heard you starting to argue back and get loud. “yeah? im fuckin wrong?”

“very much so, very slow at that.”

“i mean, we wouldnt be here had you not gotten ‘fed up.’” he reminds, biting his lip and tugging at his hero pants when you scoff. “all we gotta do is get back together and y’know..”

“yes, lets get back together mr.dynamight who liked to get an attitude when things dont go his way or will purposely lie about shit to make me jealous, i love you.” you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose.

“really?” he asks, a hand groping himself when he waits for your answer.

“no.” you say, pressing the end call button and tossing the phone into the laundry hamper. sleep was good when you didnt have an ex boyfriend calling you in the buttfuck hours of the morning, but he pestered you more. you obviously hear his calls going to voice mail, but its good that the ringer turned off when you threw it.

‘one new voicemail. should i play?’ the fax machine asks, replying with a ‘sure.’ out of pity, was the pussy that good he was obsessed? or was he desperate?

‘you know you want me back, princess.. just call me back and show me how much you miss me.’

yeah fuckin right.

you listen closer, hearing heavy breathing and… slick? was this fucker only booty calling you at fucking three in the morning for this? is that why he called you?

‘not just callin’ ya because im horny or nothin.. but god, do i miss seeing you.’ as soon as you thought the worst. ‘miss seein’ yer pretty face.. or seeing the dumb shit you send me at work.’

you ponder on his words… but had he not been a bit of an asshole, you wouldnt be here. all of this was because he wanted you jealous, and ended up you spitting in his face then leaving.

‘need ta tell ya somethin anyway..’ he mumbles, a groan from his lips. you knew what he was doing, it slightly turned you on. ‘never slept with her.. just lied so you can show me how you can be crazy ‘bout me.. it was stupid.’

yeah, it was. who the fuck lies about that?

‘miss you so damn bad..’ he says, probably pre nut clarity. he moans a little bit, heavy breathing from him stroking his fat cock. ‘cmon baby, talk to me.’

and an idea pops in your head, you finding some really old photo of you and izuku.

[lueurjun]

f1 driver!boyfriend heeseung.

request — if you are accepting requests i was thinking maybe something like formula one driver heeseung x reader where they travel to support him at his races all around the world, and also watching their boyfriend become world champion at the end of the season? thank you <3 !! 🎀

eek ! sorry this took so long. i have been in a deep writers block. but i hope you enjoy this lovely <3 this is long, my bad… i got carried away because i loved writing this. i had so much fun im not even kidding, i think i’m going to turn this into a written series for heeseung.

refer to this edit for the vibes—it has me in a chokehold and gave me the motivation for this.

rocking back and forth because ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

LEE HEESEUNG?? FORMULA ONE DRIVER?

SEDATE ME ! I NEED THIS

ahem anyways :)

heeseung’s career began at eight years old when his parents finally gave in and allowed him to start go karting.

f1 was his dream! he had posters in his room. miniature car figurines in a glass case that he didn’t let anybody touch. he sat for every race, knew every driver and owned so much merch that his mother had to hide her credit card

it’s giving maddy knew who she was from a young age- it’s giving obsession- it’s giving me with my enhypen obsession-

it was clear from the get go that this kid had some talent. he knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it better than anyone else

though he’s always been a little bit of a shit talker and ended up in several friendly feuds with other upcoming drivers.

lmao can you imagine 8 year old heeseung bickering with max verstappen?

as he grew older, he began competing in various competitions, and won the majority of them which opened up the doors to competing internationally

years later, he secures a position in F3 and gradually works his way up to F2. eventually, he makes it into F1 as one of the most promising drivers, under the guidance of red bull

now let’s introduce you

*louder than heeseung* hey 😘😉

you met Heeseung at one of his karting races when he was 15. instantly recognizing his potential, you had him sign your phone case, insisting that he was going to be famous one day and you wanted to sell it on ebay when he did.

absolute icon if you ask me

he thought you were being ridiculous, but he couldn't help but feel flattered by your confidence. after signing your phone case, he surprised you by asking for your number.

and who are you to pass up on the opportunity to keep in touch with a soon to be famous racer?

i can race faster than him just sayin ✋🙂‍↔️🤚 broom broom

the two of you remained in touch, and you attended as many races as possible to support him as a best friend. two years later, just as he secured a seat in F2, heeseung nervously asked you to be his partner.

which, of course, you were more than happy to.

now, onto present day: f1 driver heeseung with you, his beloved partner.

not you in your wag era-

i genuinely see you owning a tiktok account where you kinda just post daily grwms or vlogs which feature heeseung and your life travelling with him

and everybody eats it up because they get to see the human side of heeseung not just the aggressive driver that shit talks everything and everyone

yes i’m making him a sassy shit talker because i want to SUE ME

you kinda prove to his haters that he’s actually a huge nerd with the cutest personality, which garners him a lot more support

his team ADORES you for this

but it’s also really funny because why is the p2 winner, cocky red bull driver giving your followers a haul on all of his toy story merch?

his helmet is definitely custom designed as buzz lightyear and i find that absolutely adorable

he also has your initial on his helmet somewhere that everyone thinks is so sickeningly cute

he calls it his good luck charm

you receive some hate with jealous people accusing you of only wanting his money and fame

haters come outside i’m not gonna do anything. haha. i just wanna talk ( and set their hair on fire ) just a lil chit chat 😃

but for the most part, you are actually very much adored

if fans see you walking around, they call out for you to take pics with them

which you do, albeit with a little hesitance, as you’re not used to the spotlight and don’t quite understand why people idolise you.

ummmm because you’re perfect🫶 hope this helps

in this scenario, you’re a full time influencer which makes it easy for you to travel alongside him and attend all of his races

which is good because you couldn’t make his japan gp due to an issue and he damn near lost his mind

bro was STRESSING

i would be too if i had u and had to deal with a couple days without u 🫶

he made it everyone’s issue

his team were so tired of him that they sent you multiple texts begging for you to get on a flight

he was so sassy during his interviews and the viewers immediately knew it was because you weren’t there

‘bringy/nback’ trended with memes making fun of him for being a brat without you there

he finished really badly that weekend

bro relies on you fr

when you eventually returned at his side for his next race

he was back to his angelic self

you made him apologize to all the team

imagine you stood behind him with your arms crossed, shaking your head while he sheepishly apologises in front of everyone for being difficult HAHHAHA

he was all smiles in his interview and got p1 because he was eager to impress you

gigglin and kickin my feet BECAUSE HES SO CUTE

and you’re stood in the paddock, watching with the biggest grin on your face

when the podium celebration rolls around, you’re front row and he makes sure you get hit with some champagne with the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen

he ruined your very expensive outfit but you didn’t have it in you to be mad

i would never do that to you personally- just saying, your clothes would always be in pristine condition if you were with me… just sayin ✋😌🤚

when the two of you leave literally anywhere, he gets swarmed by fans

tells them to wait a second, and gets you to the car safely before he jogs over to sign some stuff

if you can’t get to the car, he makes sure your hand is in his, keeping you close whilst he signs things

he’s always hyper aware of your safety in public

if you’re instantly met with flashing lights, he will either cover your eyes or take off his hat and put it on your head to shield you

your safety always comes before his

also can we talk about your fashion?

you always dress to impress, never a bad outfit day

pfft is anyone surprised? you’re literally gods gift to earth- MOVE HEESEUNG

travel days are always so tiring for heeseung

which is when you become the protective one

holding him protectively whilst you both wait for your flight

running your hands through his hair

he holds you so tight; he doesn’t care who sees or about getting teased by his fellow drivers

when you’re finally in the air, whether it be private jet or not, you always make yourself into a personal pillow for him

it could be the cushiest flight known to man, and you’d still be his pillow

that should be me fr

he sleeps like a baby the whole time

and you don’t mind because you know he needs it

in the days leading up to the championship, he becomes…

unbearable? whiny? annoying? come here, i’d never- sorry sorry 😔

tense…

his stress levels are through the roof and nothing really helps other than just letting him be

he’s snappier than usual, but after many years together, you’ve learned to let it go

because you know this is a huge deal for him and he always apologises afterwards

the only thing you can really do is serve as his support and try to relax him as best as you can

like couple spa days when his schedule isn’t crammed

sightseeing to enjoy the beautiful country

even lying in your hotel room the night before, reminiscing about your relationship and his journey to becoming one of the best

you’d feel his heartbeat beneath your back which would be pressed up against him

his shaky breaths against the side of your neck as he pressed nervous kisses beneath your ear, nibbling slightly on the lobe

god… i’ve seen what you’ve done for others

“will you still love me if i don’t win tomorrow?”

you can tell he’s straddling the line between joking and genuinely needing reassurance

so, you do what you always do

you turn, cup both of his cheeks in your palms, and press your forehead against his

“you look funny.”

he’d giggle, and you’d start wiggling your eyebrows to make him laugh harder

and he always does, because to him, you’re the funniest person he’s ever met

then, you’d scrunch up your nose and gently sweep it against his, eventually leaving a kiss on the bridge.

“i will love you no matter what. even if you wake up tomorrow and decide that you want to quit, i will love you. even if you decide to walk away from it all, i will love you. because at the end of the day, it’s not the trophies that matter or the podiums. it’s you. you, you, you! your happiness, your peace of mind. you are my greatest achievement; you are my championship win. and i will love you until my heart beats its last pump of blood.”

if you look closely, you can see me drowning in the shower-

a million kisses are shared that night before the two of you finally slip into a steady sleep

when the next morning rolls around, heeseung doesn’t talk much as he gets himself ready for the race

you’re a bundle of nerves as you follow behind him, hand clutched in his own

pre race cuddles are a must in his little rest room

there’s not much talking, heeseung quite likes his silence to gather his mind and enter his racing headspace

but his hold on you, and the way he looks at you speaks for itself. you don’t need his words to know that he loves you and he wants to win not only for himself or red bull, but you.

“if we win this, i’ll give you my helmet to sell on ebay. i think it would go nicely with the signature i gave you at 15.”

your heart quite literally melts into a puddle at the memory

you grin, peppering a bunch of kisses all over his face until you finally land on his lips, soaking in the pre race nerves and savouring the taste of nutella from his pancakes he had that morning

“oh, i am going to be absolutely loaded.”

the two of you share a laugh, knowing silently that you’d never sell it on ebay because it’s tucked away in your memory box, where it will stay until you’re grey and old

a piece of the past where the two of you very first met

the peace drains from the room as though a plug had been pulled from the bathtub, with tension and nerves flooding in

look at me getting all poetic 😌

heeseung doesn’t let go of your hand until he absolutely has to

leaving you alongside his family members with a kiss so passionate it left your mind reeling

his mother grabs your hand after sharing her own moment with him, and the two of you hold on tight to the hope that he’s going to win

the race is tense, you’re almost in tears from the chaos and the nerves

your heart feels like it’s seconds from stopping as the end to the final lap approaches with heeseung in close second

he’s going to overtake, and you’re not quite sure whether your heart could handle it

STOP WHY IS MY HEART POUNDING AS IF IM THERE PLS

you grip onto his mother, the two of you holding onto each other in anticipation

it happens within seconds, you barely have time to process it

heeseung overtakes, barely missing the Ferrari car as he does so

several seconds later, your world stops as the red bull team bursts into celebration

someone is shaking you, gripping onto you with pure elation but everything is in slow motion

heeseung just won the world championship

your heeseung just won

nah because why am i crying? someone take my laptop i’m far too into this

you choke out a sob, allowing his mother to cradle you in her arms with tears flowing down her own cheeks

you’re a crying mess, blubbering proudly and unable to make sense of anything

you don’t even care that the camera is on you, displaying your reaction for everyone to see

“he did it!”

“he absolutely did!”

you don’t know how much time has passed before he’s running towards you, yanking the helmet off

there’s no time to process anything before he sweeps you up into his arms, pressing kisses all over your skin wherever his lips could fit

he holds you like you’re the trophy, lifting you up proudly like a medal

tears cascade down your cheeks like a summer waterfall, while warmth and joy spread through you

he did it. he actually did it.

“get that helmet signed, boy. i’m gonna be rich!”

[sugarushwriting]

vampire enhypen and you’re their human blood bank (part six!!???!)

jay isn’t happy with your decisions

neither is sunghoon

jake or heeseung

they became possessive over you and refuse to allow you to leave them

straight smut coming this chapter, forewarning. i will not warn anymore after the “keep reading” point. i am not the best at writing smut (jealous of those who can) so please be easy on me!!

next part (?) should not have heavy smut like this one or any at all. didn’t expect this many parts but hi, hello, here we are.

do not repost or translate. but please feel free to reblog, like, and comment! not proof read.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

your leg nervously bounced while you waited in class for the professor to begin. students began whispering wondering why this class was mandatory. the girls were whispering wondering where jay was.

where was he? he made it a whole ordeal that you come to class today and he’s not even here?

the entire class period went by boringly, but the professor did talk about important things. maybe he did need to talk about it to everyone, but no need for it to have been mandatory and worth so many points.

as he dismissed class 10 minutes early, he called you to the podium where he stood.

“yes professor kong?” you asked adjusting your backpack on your shoulder.

“mr park needs to see you in his office. he says it’s about your recent grade.”

you stood frozen, “um, i thought i did okay on that paper?”

“he did too, but he said he found some things and he’s worried about plagiarism?”

“that’s ridiculous! all that work came from me and i made sure to reference correctly.”

the professor shrugged, “i haven’t seen it myself, and i trust mr park.”

well you didn’t. “thank you professor kong.” you nodded politely and walked out the classroom, an immediate ding to your phone notifying you had a text.

jay: come to my office. im watching you. don’t try to hide and run.

you read the text and huffed in annoyance. you looked around for him, but of course, if he didn’t want to be found by you, he wouldn’t.

you made your way to his office in the business building, which was luckily the same building class was held. you took the elevator to the top floor, and made your way to the end of the hallway were his small but cozy office was.

your university gave teaching assistants either their own office or shared office depending on the amount of work they would be doing for the professor. plus teaching assistants were required to hold office hours for extra help for students with a minimum of 2 hours a week. whether it was in person office hours or through zoom.

you raised your fist to knock, but startled when you felt a hot breath on your neck. quickly turning around, you came face to face with jay. your back flat against his door.

he reached beside you, unlocking the door. “go in.”

it wasn’t a question or statement. it was a demand. his tone was hushed, but deep. you recognize his authority tone he usually used on the guys.

you quickly turned back around and walked into his office.

he locked the door behind him, hands in his pocket and made no effort to talk to you.

“professor said you had worries about my paper?” you asked.

jay was behind his desk now, and his brown eyes snapped up from the drawer he was rummaging through. “your paper is fine.”

“but—,”

jays sharp eyes made contact with you and you quickly hushed. his irises were red.

jay grabbed a roll of duct tape and made his way towards you. he ripped off a piece, and when you went to ask what he was doing, he quickly placed it over your lips. again, he said nothing, until you lifted your arms to take off the tape.

“take off that tape and i will turn your ass black and blue.”

his tone was threatening, and even though usually you’d push back, something told you not to this time. you put your hands to your sides, waiting for his next move.

he took your bag off of your shoulder, then next, he taped your hands together in front of you.

he threw the tape off to the side, it clattering to the floor. jay stood in front of you, straight eye contact, pushing your body subtly to his desk, until your butt rested against it.

you’ve never seen jay so quiet. it terrified you to be honest. but you also felt a thrill. is he showing you his dominate side you’ve been asking for? or maybe this is his fed up side with your behavior. you knew you were to be mad at him. and you still was, however, for good sex? you might put it aside just for now.

jay roughly pushed you down on his desk, and put your arms to rest above your head. “move your hands and arms, and you won’t be able to lift them for weeks.”

another threat. you swallowed. jay wasted no time lifting your sweatshirt above your bra, and removing your sweatpants off your legs. without warning, jay slapped your underwear covered pussy—hard. like someone would slap an ass.

you tried to scream, but of course your mouth was covered so it was muffled. jay smirked.

he removed your underwear, throwing them over his shoulder, and pulled your bra down to expose your breast. he took each in one hand, gripping hard, causing pain. another muffled scream.

jay wasn’t being his usual gentle self. and you were thinking this is more than his dominate side.

your arms jerked, and jay raised a brow, waiting for you to move it, but you didn’t.

“good girl.” he praised, and you rolled your head to the side. he clicked his tongue on the root of his mouth, “nope, eyes on me the entire time.”

your head rolled back to meet jays eyes. “good to know you do listen.”

you were surprised when jays fangs extended. your eyes going wide. his kissed your jawline, the tape where your lips would be, and one kiss to you neck. he peppered kisses down your chest before his mouth latched on to a nipple, and you could feel his fangs slightly break skin.

another muffle scream came. he did it to the other breast. then he kissed down your stomach, occasionally scraping his fangs against your skin. your stomach recoiled at the slight touch, because one you were ticklish, second because you were nervous he was going to break skin fully, not just a tease.

he kissed down your body, your left thigh, left leg, then made his way back up your right leg, to your right thigh, stopping just inches away from your core. you could feel his hot breath fanning, and you wiggled a bit. he didn’t move. you whined behind the tape, earning a chuckle from jay.

your eyes closed as you waited for the sensation of his tongue licking your core. you didn’t notice jay was taking his pants and boxers off, stroking his cock twice, aligning himself to your entrance.

he roughly, swiftly, and quickly bottomed out, cause a deep groan of pleasure from his mouth. a loud muffled scream of pain came from your mouth behind the tape.

fuck you wasn’t expecting him to just bottom out like that. usually jay takes his time with slowly entering you. he always makes sure you’re wet enough.

“what a shame, usually you’re dripping for me. this time you’re barely wet.”

if you could talk you would scold him and say it’s because he didn’t give you time! he didn’t prep you!

he knew that. he wanted to bring you pain. a tear slipped from your eye. he didn’t give you time to adjust to his thickness when he started ramming in and out of you, at an unhuman speed and strength, or at least something you weren’t used to. his hands and fingers tightly gripped your thighs to hold you in place. your body rocked against his desk, scared it was going to break.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as jay mumbled incoherently under his breath. you couldn’t hear what he was saying, nor did you care.

not until you realized your arms left the place they were supposed to be, and went to wrap around jays neck.

he quickly removed himself, you moaning low from the loss of him, and he lifted you off the desk by pulling you by your taped hands.

“what did i tell you?” he asked through gritted teeth. your eyes went wide and he flipped you on your stomach, the cold surface hitting your bare breasts and stomach. your arms back reaching over your head, gripping the edge of the desk.

jay quickly entered you from behind, this time gripping your ass so tight, you really were gonna be black and blue after this.

all you could do was let muffled sounds escape from the tape as he hammered from behind, landing slaps to your ass.

his cock was reaching into your cervix, and you didn’t know to scream of pain or pleasure. tears now flowing out of your eyes.

your orgasm began building, and with jays sloppy and low sounds leaving his mouth, you knew he was close too.

it didn’t take long for him to come inside you. but just as you were so close, he removed himself and watched his come drip out of you.

you whined. you whined and cried because you were so close to your orgasm and he stopped! that wasnt like jay. he always made sure you orgasmed first, if not, at least made sure you had a successful orgasm.

you banged your fists on his desk in frustration, as his come slowly dripped out of your cunt, down your legs.

you began crying fully, because you just couldn’t control your emotions. your legs bucking, your knees going week. jay emotionless put his boxers and pants back on, lifting you up by your hair, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“not nice when someone won’t listen to you huh? when they ignore you. when they ignore what you want and your needs.” jay snickered and dropped you back on the desk.

jay went to the other side of his desk, grabbing scissors from his drawer. no further word, he cut the tape from your bound hands, and lifted your chin from the desk, removing the tape—not so gently—from your lips.

but you were too wore out to even complain. you can’t fathom how you were tired. 2 simple positions, but jay used his strength and energy on you. he probably could’ve went harder, faster, but that might’ve killed you.

you lifted yourself on your forearms to look at jay, who still had that lazy smirk on his face. you lifted yourself fully, and when you went to lift your bra, you had to use two hands, but lost balance and fell to the ground. while lying there you lifted your bra to cover yourself again, and pulled down your sweatshirt. you reached over to grab your underwear that was lying on the ground next to you.

“you’re seriously gonna get dressed while lying down?”

you had no energy to even speak. you grabbed your underwear, but couldn’t even bend to put them on your legs.

jay sighed in frustration and disbelief (how dare he, jerk!!) and came to assist you with getting dressed. “good to know you can’t fight back. you’re coming home with me.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

jay threw you onto a bed. you couldn’t even focus on who’s bed and room he brought you to. a small sound came from your throat. wasn’t even a full sentence. you said, “thirsty.”

jay nodded and left the bedroom. oh shit were you gonna die of thirst now? your limbs were still weak but you could slightly move. what the fuck happened?

footsteps could be heard and you saw sunghoon enter with a cup of what you’re assuming is water, hopefully.

sunghoon said nothing as he came closer to you, helping you sit up in the bed and brining the cup to your lips. he assisted you with drinking the water.

“thank you.” you finally said in a whisper.

“our baby doll can talk now.” he smiled and patted your head. he laid you back down on the bed. it must be his.

sunghoon hovered over you, straddling, as he took off his shirt with a smirk. “be prepared baby doll. you’re not gonna be able to move for a while once we’re done with you.”

his lips came down to yours, a rush kiss, as he swiftly took off your pants and underwear at once and lifted your sweatshirt to expose your belly.

you were so distracted by his tongue deep in your mouth, you didn’t feel or notice sunghoon taking off his own pants and boxers. it wasn’t until he rubbed his tip against your clit.

“ah,” you moaned out from the feeling. your body still not recovered from jays attack or lack of orgasm. was sunghoon not gonna prep you either? he loved to eat your cunt out, almost, almost, as much as jake.

this would also be your first time having sex with sunghoon.

your thoughts were answered when he entered into you, slightly slower than what jay did. sunghoon was longer than jay, but with slight less thickness to him.

your hands went to sunghoons shoulders to grip, and he bottomed out, a loud moan leaving his lips. “why have i never done this before?” he mumbled to himself. your walls gripping him snuggly. “baby doll you feel so good and right for me. for us.”

sunghoon found a pace rocking his hips against yours, you connecting your lips together to muffle the sounds. once he started to reach an orgasm, his paced picked up and so did the roughness of how he fucked you. he lifted his lips off of yours as his fangs extended and his teeth scraped your shoulder like a slight pinch and he buried his head in your shoulder.

“so so good, baby doll.” he moaned, using his hand to wrap one of your legs around his waist for a deeper and better angle.

your head tilted as far back as possible from the pleasure building in your stomach once again. “sunghoon, im close.” you groaned out, removing your hands from his shoulders to grab onto the headboard.

you felt sunghoon fill you up with his come, and you were worried he wouldn’t let you come, but he fucked his come deeper into you as you soon came as well with the loudest moan you’ve let slip past your lips.

maybe it was because of the first orgasm denial, so this one was so intense. it had your body shaking afterwards, specifically your legs and they went numb.

you were so tired, all you wanted to to was nap. not even caring as sunghoon pulled out, you closed your eyes.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

when you awoke, you were in a different bed, and heeseung was playing a game at his desk in front of you.

you tried to move your body but couldn’t. not because you were tied down, but because your body was so sore and worn out. the only thing you could do was let noises escape your mouth.

your whine caught heeseung’s attention from the game and he smiled seeing you awake. he turned off the game, coming to the bed beside you as you finally noticed him shirtless, only in pajama pants.

all you could do was stare. “baby, you’ve been sleep for hours. was starting to get worried i wouldn’t get my turn.” he pouted.

hours? you slept for hours? you turned your head to look out the window and saw dusk was falling. what time was it?

you mentally did math—okay so class ended around 11:40, you met jay at his office around 12. how long did that last? a hour? maybe longer? then what about sunghoon? how long did that go?

with the light, it had to be around 5 or 5:30 in the evening. “time?” you croaked out.

heeseung smiled. “it’s almost 5, baby.” he pulled you to the edge of the bed, so your feet hung off the edge, your butt close to it. “i’m glad jay and sunghoon didn’t go too hard. was worried you wouldn’t be able to take me or jake.”

wait, they all were going to fuck you? and what does he mean they didn’t go too hard? you could barely move or speak!

you tried to form words, but your mind turned to mush when heeseung got on his knees and lifted both of your legs so they were over his shoulder. “i can’t wait to finally taste you.” he whispered against your inner thigh.

that’s when you finally realized, you were only in an oversized shirt and some boxers. you didn’t know who dressed you in it. maybe sunghoon or maybe heeseung.

heeseung kissed your cunt through the boxers, his nose burying itself to inhale deeply. he pressed open mouth kisses all along both of your thighs, before his vampire fangs felt like a pinch to your thigh. you jerked, but heeseung held you in place. his teeth scraped against your inner thigh, a moan leaving your lips as you turned your head to the side, and ran your fingers through is hair.

he swiftly took the boxers off your legs and lifted the shirt up above your belly button. no warning, heeseungs tongue swiped between your folds, your legs tightening around his neck as he buried himself between your legs like he was home. he licked, sucked, bit, nibbled, all he could on your cunt, clit and in between.

“fuck you taste too good baby. no wonder jake and sunghoon love to be buried between your legs.” heeseung sighed in pleasure, as he continued his attack. meanwhile, your head was rocking side to side, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, all while holding heeseung in place by your legs and your fist in his hair. the harder you gripped he would bite.

you were nearing your third orgasm of the day, but before you could let heeseung know you were close, he removed his delightful lips and tongue from your cunt, kissing up your stomach, lifting the shirt higher above your breasts, to your neck, still leaving open mouth kisses, licks, and occasionally nipping with his fangs.

you whine at the loss, heeseung smiling against your skin. his lips met yours in a sloppy kiss, you tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

his lips made their way back to your breasts, his lips wrapping around one nipple, you sensitive to the feeling. another moan left your mouth, but then a louder moan mixed with a yelp came next as without warning, heeseungs fingers entered your cunt.

not one. not two. but three of his long fingers, knuckle deep. your body jerked at the feeling, but it caused heeseung to bite your nipple, your cunt growing wetter every second, and even wetter than before due to the bite.

“so so wet for me.” heeseung smiled then did the same attack on your other breast and nipple. he was loving the loud sounds coming from your wet cunt.

now, one hand was in heeseungs hair, the other on his muscular back as his fingers rocked in and out at a fast and bruising pace. “mhm heeseung.” you moaned out in between taking deep breaths. even without his cock he was filling you up deliciously.

your walls clamped tighter on his fingers, so he kept the speed of his fingers, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. his tongue licked and sucked your nipple harder, his fangs making another appearance with a pinch.

it sent you over the edge. you came hard. your juices soaked his fingers, leaking onto the edge of the bed, down your thighs, and down his stomach.

you let out the loudest moan you ever had, and your chest heaved up and down as you chased oxygen as you felt so breathless.

you weren’t done. you kept coming and coming for at least a full 2 minutes, your body weakening every second as heeseung continued moving his fingers to your orgasm.

it wasn’t until tears filled your eyes that heeseung removed his fingers and lifted his body off of yours as you shook. you couldn’t imagine taking his cock right now.

“you’ll get my cock another time, baby.” he whispered against your forehead, easing your mind for the time being.

your eyes began to close as exhaustion took over.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

different bed. you woke up in a different bed and next to a different body. your eyes slowly opened to the darkness both outside and in the room.

your heartbeat sped up to not knowing your surroundings. you felt familiar lips on your neck with a kiss and a familiar aussie accent, “you had us so worried baby.”

you swallowed, trying to find your voice. “sorry.” your voice cracked. “im so sorry.” you apologized. this was your punishment for ignoring them. they were letting you know, you were theirs.

“it’s okay baby. we know you won’t do it again.” jake sighed and began sucking on your neck.

you knew jake had a high sex drive. even before he became a damn vampire. you could only imagine how becoming a vampire upped it. usually when he feasted on you, he could stay for hours eating you out, giving you multiple orgasms in a short time period.

“jakey im tired.” you pouted hoping jake would give you a break.

“don’t worry baby, just lay there, jakey will do all the work.”

and he did. you laid flat on the bed like a damn mannequin. your mind couldn’t even focus on whatever jake was doing. you just remember the cold air hitting your naked skin, his lips, his tongue, his teeth, all over your body.

jake gripping your thighs so tight you were sure handprints would be left behind, along with his nails digging into your skin.

you moaned, whined, and cried. jake was enjoying it so much. he didn’t care if you couldn’t participate back. as long as his lips were somewhere on your body he was happy.

between your legs, your thighs, devouring your cunt. your breast, nibbling your breasts. your lips for sloppy kisses, spit mixing between your mouths.

he moved you onto your stomach so he could eat you out from behind. he positioned your body so your head was buried in the sheets, your hands by your side, your ass in the air.

jake feasted, slobber and spit running down your leg. or was it come? did you orgasm? you were so tired maybe you did and didn’t even know.

jake mumbled, “so wet baby. coming so much just from my tongue.”

your mouth was so dry.

jake landed a slap to your ass, you groaned in reaction, and jake smiled liking that you finally responded to stimuli.

next you felt long slender fingers enter your cunt from behind, this time you bit into the sheets. your cunt genuinely could not handle anything else.

jake pumped his fingers at an ungodly speed, or what felt like it, your screams muffled by the sheets of his bed. your hands found the strength to grip onto the sheets.

“come again for me baby. i know you want to.”

and you did. you don’t know what orgasm number this was. you don’t know how long you orgasmed for. you just know your body could not take anymore.

you cried, shaking your head. “no more jakey, please. i—i am so sorry.” you sniffled.

jake shushed you, rubbing your back trying to get you to take deep breaths through your sobs. “it’s okay baby, no more.” he kissed your back. you collapsed onto the bed.

jake got off the bed, and helped you sit up, bringing a cup to your lips. “drink some water baby.”

you did. he had to help you, get you to slowly drink as if you tried to drink to fast, it would miss your lips and dribble down your chin.

once done, he laid you back down, covering up your naked body.

you cried yourself to sleep being so worn out from your body being wrecked by 4 vampires.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[zweiginator]

bestfriend’s brother patrick….oh i fear i need more of this hehehe

im at your service

and just expanding on the previous ask.... patrick refuses to fuck you. is repeating it to himself like a mantra whenever he sees you.

dontdoitdontdoitdontdoit.

he keeps his promise for awhile. til the end of july. that's when his little sister and you bring over two guys for a movie night. seems innocent enough. patrick shouldn't care. he doesn't care.

he's just supervising. making sure these boys aren't creeps. watching over his little sister and her cute little best friend.

the boy you're with is putting his arm around you. moving his hands under the blanket. patrick kicks them out.

"i'm older and i'm in charge. i want them out. fucking weridos."

they listen to patrick immediately. he's pissed and he's way stronger and taller.

and you're mad because you only invited them over because patrick had been refusing to touch you since that night. you try and try and try to entice him, but nothing is working. you weren't meaning to make him jealous.

patrick's sister just goes to bed; the whole thing was your idea anyway. but you are mad.

patrick notices you look different.

"doing your makeup all slutty for some stupid boys?" he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip. your red lip gloss stains his finger.

"don't call me that!" you yell, knowing he will tell you to shut up. maybe he'll make you.

"be quiet." he says it calmly. "i'm just saying. whoring yourself out is gonna put you down a bad path."

now he's just trying to piss you off. he knows you're smart and kind and respectable. you were a goody-two-shoes up until last year.

"you're the one always whoring yourself out--so far i've counted five girls this summer? no--six."

"very funny." he says, against the shell of your ear.

"why do you even care anyway?" you ask. patrick is leading you outside; he shuts the glass door behind you.

he knows this will do you in. push that final button. "you're like a little sister to me. just want what's best."

he knows you'll yell and huff and prove to him that no you're not. not at all.

he can always say you came onto him first. they wouldn't believe him, of course. not with his track record.

you start unbuttoning his shirt, clawing at him, pulling him in by the waistband. his sister's bedroom window faces the backyard.

"jesus fucking christ." he throws you over his shoulder, takes you to the pool shed.

he unties his shorts; he's still in those swim trunks of his that hug his thighs.

"i'll fuck you." he says. "i'll fuck you right here. and you're not going to tell anyone." his grasp is strong on your jaw and you whimper.

"won't tell anyone. i promise."

he pushes your shorts down, his other hand fondling your bare tits from underneath a t-shirt he recognizes as his own.

"did you go through my fucking closet?" he pulls your hair.

you giggle. "maybe."

"god, you're a slut. don't even deserve this."

you push your ass back on his cock and he's in heaven. maybe you don't deserve this but he does. he rubs himself between your folds, nudges your clit with the tip of his cock until your legs shake so hard that patrick has to hold you up.

pushes himself inside.

"so, big. feels so good." you bounce your ass back on him, listening to how he groans. they're deep from within his throat, animalistic.

you didn't think you could like anything better than when he fingered you two months ago. but you like how mean he is. pounding into you. calling you names, his hand around your throat.

you know it's all a facade. when he's close to cumming, he drops the act. holds your hips and tilts your head to give you sloppy kisses. he tells you how wet your pussy is, how tight you are.

"can you feel how deep i am?"

you nod. you love it. you think you love him.

you take him all. tell him that you're not a slut always--it's just for him. his voice cracks when you say this, hot ropes of cum coating you with him.

god, he hopes you can keep a secret.

[xazse]

the afab gojo x male reader is so good ! but i lowkey want gojo to get his lick back and make male reader jealous like i get it’s unrequited but i lowkey feel like mreader is attached to him a bit.

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I REALLY WANTED TO GET THIS OUT TO YOU BOTH ON TIME SO I APOLOGIZE IF THIS IS RUSHED. SO HAPPY YOU LOVED MY AFAB<333 I HOPE YOU STILL LIKE AFAB GOJO!!

Idk about you but I feel like the best revenge is to slowly drive the other person insane.

Male!reader is a scumbag and might not align with you, like forreal scumbag!

Warnings: Fem!Satoru x Male Reader, Pussy-eating, sexting, jealous!reader, mean!reader, patheticmale!reader

Oh m!reader is most definitely in love with Satoru, that night When you were fucking Suguru he realized how much you would ramble on how much you hated Satoru’s guts and the only thing he’s good for is his body and pussy. But he seen the slight light in your eyes when you were describing him, by the end of the night Suguru just wanted to go home , he hadn’t even realized you were involved with Satoru so he felt like shit by the end as well, so ready to go home and tell Satoru to avoid you like the plague.

Satoru does eventually start to slowly distance himself from you, no longer is he blowing up your phone wondering where you are, he’s barely responding to your messages, and he most definitely stopped begging you to see him and look at him. He finds himself not entertaining your attempts to make him jealous or angry. He does work on himself, meaning he’s buying a new wardrobe and posting cute selfies, basically in your words auctioning himself off to other people.

You do notice the things he’s doing, ignoring you in favor of other people who aren’t even worth his time or yours. Two can play that game, Satoru is clearly going through something and needs a little convincing to get him back in the right mind, so you’ll give him the space he so clearly fucking needs, and it’s most definitely not gonna drive you crazy.

A week later your at a party, attempting to look for someone even as half as pretty as Satoru, he’s also present, so beautiful and a beaming smile gracing his face, he looks a little brighter, and it’s definitely not because of you. He’s with his usual group of friends, looking so dull compared to him. There’s a hand behind his back, seemingly going up and down in a soothing motion, you follow the hand and you scoff loudly from across the room.

A dude who looks plain and most definitely not Satoru’s type.

You see Satoru peek at the man and give him a kiss on the cheek whilst he whispers something in his ear, a giggle leaves his pretty pink lips before he’s departing somewhere. You’re quick to follow him outside to talk.

“What’s with you lately? Why are you avoiding me? And who’s that dude in there?” You pester Satoru with endless questions, not letting him even get a breath in.

“He’s someone I’m talking to right now, and why are you so worried?” Satoru glares, his eyebrows furrowed and yet you still find him to be so pretty when he’s frustrated.

“Not worried , just wondering why you aren’t picking up my calls.”

“Been busy, enjoy the party.” Satoru is quick to push through you and back to party, forgetting what he came in the kitchen for. He peers over his shoulder to see you standing there staring daggers at him with an expression he doesn’t recognize, oh you’re fucking pissed. It makes his body shiver and his cunt clench around nothing, he wants to see just how much he can push you.

One night while Satoru is alone in his room he does the unthinkable, he props his phone up and spreads himself wide in front of his camera, his pretty pussy on display, he grabs his favorite dildo and begins working it inside of himself, slow and steady is how he starts, he makes sure the video gets everything, every sound, every movement is captured. The dildo reaches so deep while it stretches his hole and makes him so wet, he’s heaving as he continues to abuse himself to completion. When that’s all done with he sends it to you, but he makes it look like it wasn’t for you, an accident is what he wants you to think.

A few hours later Satoru’s doorbell rings and to his amazement it’s you, looking a fucking mess, dressed like as soon as he sent the message you were out the door and on your way to his place. There’s a fiery but pathetic look in your eyes.

“Toru’ please” your voice sounds raw as you beg?

And a few minutes Satoru has you on your knees eating him out, you flatten your tongue and lick a stripe up his pussy, you’ve been wanting him for as long as he’s been torturing you, starving just to even touch him a little bit. You’re ravenous with your tongue work, licking up all his essence as it seeps out of him.

Satoru is rough with his hands, shoving your face even deeper so you can lick all the parts of him, he snaps at you to suck on his clit, and you listen like the obedient thing you’ve become, he’s moaning and mewling so cutely, you’ve missed his sweet honeyed voice, though he isn’t yelling your name you’ll take what you can get.

Your balls feel heavy when you unbuckle and pull your pants down to rest around your thighs. Fat cock already fully hard you begin stroking yourself slow and steady, precum already dripping you use that as lubricant. The burn in your body ignites, the combined sucking on Satoru’s clit and jerking your cock off feels so damn good, everything feels right, but also twisted.

[burntb4bydoll]

hcs for tokio hotel when they’re jealous? i know george would be clenching his jaw SO hard and gus would have such a hard ass side eye

UGH I LOVE JEALOUS BOYS. SO HOT.

Tokio Hotel when they are jealous headcanons

Bill Kaulitz

•SO MANY DIRTY LOOKS OMFG

•hes literally looks like this ��

•obviously not at you, but at whoever hes jealous of.

•he sees someone else ‘stealing’ (in his words) your attention away for him and he immediately comes up behind you and hugs you from the back

•pda is not usually his thing, so yk somethings up. You can practically feel his jealously radiating off of him

•if you continue the conversation with the other person, he’ll get impatient and start to leave wet kisses down your neck. And hes making eye contact with the person while doing it

•loves getting you worked up by whispering in your ear

• “babyyyy~ lets go home so I can play with you, hm?”

• “ive been thinking about getting you alone all night…why dont we ditch this asshole and go back to my house?”

Tom Kaulitz

•if anyone’s getting jealous its definitely him

•You’re his. He doesn’t want anyone else to have you.

•definitely takes a more passive aggressive approach

•he wraps his arm around your waist and grabs you by your chin to kiss you right in front of the other person

•then he’ll just casually look at them after and go “oh hey. I didnt notice you here, my bad.” AND HES SMIRKING WHILE SAYING IT. HES SUCH A LITTLE SHIT

•he’ll ask them such ridiculous questions

• “arent they so pretty? Im lucky, I get to date this angel.”

• “wouldn’t you like to take them out on a date? They’re a real sweetheart, very nice to go out with.”

•LIKE SIR?? WE GET IT. THEY CANT HAVE YOUR S/O. CALM DOWN.

•will randomly stop talking to make out with you?? The other person ends up walking away because they were just sitting there watching Tom shove his tongue down your throat💀

Georg Listing

•silent type of jealous

•he’ll just watch the situation unfold. UNLESS they start getting a little too bold, then he’ll step in

•his jaw is basically locked shut. Hes sucking his cheeks in with frustration every time he sees you smile or laugh at whatever the person said

•eventually he gets sick of watching and hell walk over to where you guys were standing. He wraps his arm around your neck lightly and pulls you to rest your head under his chin

•then he turns the attention away from you and starts a conversation with the person instead

• “hey, who are you again? I don’t think I recognize you. Oh me? Yeah, Im their boyfriend.”

•he wont let anyone flirt with his s/o, especially when its right in front of him🙄

Gustav Schäfer

•LORD HES SO PETTY ABOUT IT

•literally giving them the biggest stink eye anyones ever seen

•if looks could kill, they would be long gone

•he stands next to you with his arms crossed, occasionally scoffing at whatever the person’s talking about

•he’ll chime in every one in a while to correct them on something just to make them look stupid. Again, hes petty😭

•LOL HE WOULD FAKE LAUGH AT WHATEVER JOKE THEY MAKE BUT ITS ONE OF THOSE OBNOXIOUSLY FAKE LAUGHS

•after a while the person is still not getting the hint that you’re taken, so he’ll put his hand on your ass and lead you away from them before you could finish talking

[richie-shitlips]

Why I think Thomas Thorne has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder): A character study

so I've been researching NPD because I think I have it, and I realised that A LOT of the symptoms also fit Thomas (who I named myself after!) So I'm going symptom by symptom and doing my best to analyse his actions. Some of this is coherent, some of it is just rambling- but I hope this makes sense! (thank you @loganschwarzy and @isopodonanescalator for reading this over text and agreeing with me)

• Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

...look at him. he goes as far to say that famous poet lord byron plagiarised HIS work. he sulks when he's not given attention. he gets upset when alison's (unfinished) painting doesn't do him justice. in his own retelling of his death, he reports the announcer calling him britain's greatest living poet.

• Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.

i don't have particular evidence for this one off the top of my head but like there are definitely instances of it in the show. like on christmas when he's obsessed with getting alison to kiss him (which is impossible) or the whole thing with the plague ghosts in S4E1 (i think that's what episode it was)... i guess i did have evidence.

• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.

LITERALLY WHAT HE DOES

• Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

once again, just look at him. he writes one (1) poem and thinks it's the greatest thing in the world

• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.

watch The Thomas Thorne Affair, his spin on the story is WILDLY different from everyone else's, making himself seem successful and well-loved despite actually being the opposite- and he seems to actually believe it! and he thinks that alison is secretly in love with him for a good portion of the show

• Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.

i think if he does have an EP (equal person), it's probably pat, as he's the only one who thomas actually genuinely treats like a person and not just a means to get love or attention. i also like to think around season 5 he starts to see kitty as an equal as well, but i've gotta rewatch it to see if that's got basis or if im just a shipper

• Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.

i don't remember any specific instances, but he's constantly criticising the other ghosts and other poets (in the book he annotates lord byrons poetry and makes fun of him)

• Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.

this is less so i think but like it's definitely still there you can see it if you pay attention

• Take advantage of others to get what they want.

he plagiarises. a lot.

and also the whole "Balderdash, I could thrash you all at twist-it then run a mile!" seems like he was planning to use the others losing to impress alison

• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

while alison never explicitly tells him to fuck off, her annoyance is obvious (although she also LOVES the attention and gets distraught when he ignores her) and he never seems to notice

i think something that could also count is when mary moves on he only thinks about himself and worries that he'll move on before making an impact on the world (DESPITE ALREADY BEING DEAD)

• Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

he is soooooo jealous of mike and toby despite never having a chance with alison in the first place. and he definitely thinks the other ghosts are (or should be) jealous of him- just look at how he talks to them

• Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.

he talks himself up SO MUCH

• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

the whole thing with the painting again- alison paints him, and he sees it before it's done (snuck a peek even though he was told not to) and he thinks the unfinished painting looks ugly and freaks out over how to tell alison he doesn't like it and wishes it was better (and then changes his mind as soon as he sees the finished version!)

• Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.

the whole thing with Life of Byron, where he gets upset when he's told to be quiet because the cameras are on (and upset that he can't be alison's free pass despite not knowing her when her and mike got married)

• Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.

there are definitely instances of him thinking others are playing him, mainly alison. but also he was actually manipulated and played (which led to his death) by his cousin who he obviously trusted with his life, which could contribute to that distrust as well

• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.

when cap tells him he's not as big a deal as he's acting in S4E1, he kinda blows up on him

once again, when told he's just scared he'll lose twister, he blows up and claims he can win easily then run a mile

• Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.

goes from calmly explaining why he's upset to "I'm going to drown myself in the lake!" and storming off in like 0.2 seconds

• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.

also the whole thing with mary, i think. and we kinda see when the builders are there, he gets writers block and can't focus on his "work", which i can see as having trouble adapting to change

• Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.

he doesn't tend to do this as much, instead favouring to boast that he'll succeed and then sulk when he fails

• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.

ONCE AGAIN HE THREATENS TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE LAKE CAUSE HES REMINDED OF A MAN WHOS BEEN DEAD FOR LIKE 200 YEARS THAT WAS BETTER THAN HIM AT POETRY

• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.

this definitely happens, i can't think of a ton of evidence though

but he's constantly put down by the other ghosts and i dont think thats fair. the times we actually see him cool off and act like he's not above the other people are when they're not putting him down- and as soon as he's praised in that scene, he starts trying to play up the success by trying to write more (and shittier) poetry to get more praise (talking about when him and alison are watching the sunrise, i don't remember the episode)

in conclusion, thomas thorne is a narcissist in canon, it just hasn't been explicitly stated. thank you for coming to my TOM talk (my dad told me to say that)

TL;DR: no go back and read it i worked hard on this and i need you to agree (or just read the paragraph above this, i guess 😒)

[idkelly]

RED NAILS

• Lalo salamanca x fem!reader, with some nacho too (best of both worlds), HEAVY on slowburn, and i love hurt comfort so bear with me

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

CHAPTER TWO

The casino was a safe space, for (Yn) at least, because it was her favorite skill—gambling and playing with predictions and percentages. She was known for it, and everyone knew her hands always pulled the best cards in the game.

Yes, the new Mexico casino was nothing like the one back home in Mexico, but business is business. Walking in, she didn’t grab any attention, which was better for her sake at the moment.

Only her father and brothers knew of her existence right now, plus Mike and a few others. but to the outside world, the new family was long gone from the public’s eye.

She hummed along to the music as she made her way to the back office, opening the door slowly, "Pa?"

“Hola bonita," as always, a cigarette was between his fingers and a book was spread in front of him. The lights were pretty dim, and the doctor told him it was better for his eyesight.

"I found him."

"Varga?"

"Hmm, when’s the next step?"

 "Tomorrow"

It was perfect. The plan and her needs were aligned. Her car needed a checkup, and she herself needed to check up on someone.

She found herself at the front desk of Ignacio's dad's workshop, and she was quite surprised he had some good business going despite his age.

 “Hola," the old man greeted her as soon as he heard the bell ring.

 "Hola.  ¿Cómo estás?" 

"Welcome. How can I help you?" He switched to English so fast, do I really look that white-washed?

"I was hoping to get a checkup on my car."

He nodded and turned to the back, where he yelled his son's name, telling him to go up front.

(Yn) couldn’t help but smile when she saw the look on his face when he recognized her; his steps slowed for a second as he gathered his thoughts as to what she was doing here.

The man brought his son only to be a translator between the two; therefore, Yn  didn’t need to show her ability to speak Spanish.

 In the middle of talking, the dad was called back in. with an apologetic look, he said, "I'm sorry, Senorita. My son will help you, okay?" and with that, he walked off.

 "How’d you find me?"

 (Yn) scoffed, looking to the side, though she could feel Ignacio's stare burn holes through her skull.

"Why are you here?"

"I can't get my car checked out now?."

 The man kisses his teeth in annoyance. What the hell was she doing here? "We both know you’re not here just for that."

 "Well, a little birdie told me that not only you’re a drug dealer, you’re also a card thief. I mean, shit, if you wanted some, I would’ve given you my Pokemon collection; it’s very exclusive."

 If someone were to animate the view from (Yn)’s eyes, they would’ve drawn steam out of Ignacio's ears.

 "I'm just saying you underestimated how big of an idiot you were. He went to the police for those cards, and now they’re snooping around."

 "Sounds like you have a problem, young lady," he said, taking a step back, ready to leave.

 "First of all, it’s an us problem; second of all, I'm pretty sure I'm older than you," he continued along his way until she stopped him dead in his tracks.

 "Are you really not that scared of Tuco Salamanca?"

 And there he is again, right in front of Yn, with his hands crossed over his chest.

 "I know you don’t play ball, so to speak, and Tuco finds out about your little side business. I think we both know the end to that."

 "Who are you?" he finally asked; that question had been on his mind for the whole day yesterday.

 "Me? I'm nobody," same dumb smile she always uses.

 "To put an end to this before it even starts, you give me the baseball cards, 10,000 in cash, and you net roughly $60,000."

 Ignacio chuckled then went back to his serious face, "And how exactly does that work?"

 (Yn) stayed quiet for a bit, saying, "Before I continue, you really have amazing eyelashes, im jealous."

Well, that took him by surprise; he didn’t show it obviously, but still, it startled him. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted by her continuing her speech.

He was impressed by her plan, and more so by her way of convincing him so easily to take part in it.

What stood out about her to him was the way she held eye contact; sure, it was common in the business to establish power and shit, But with her, it was almost more to get even with whoever she was looking at. He couldn’t put a finger on how he felt about it, her.

(Yn) wasn’t there when the final deal was happening, but Mike was, and she told him about the plan as she dropped him off near where he worked; it wasn't hard to find that one either.

The rest of the day she spent at the casino with her brothers; her father was now back home. The place was her brother's, where she was carrying out her business, which was her casino back in Mexico.

Here, the family was invisible, though; it wasn’t common knowledge who owned this place.

After a few hours, Yn  finally decided to head back home to her cat and maybe watch a movie while cuddling. The woman’s schedule was really, really empty; she could do as she pleased day and night.

As she unlocked the door, she could hear her cat calling her through the kitchen, but instead of coming to her, she had to fully realize who was sitting down on her sofa.

hard eyes.

 "Do you want coffee or tea?" she said as she kicked off her shoes and walked over to the kitchen.

 "Is this really your response to finding a stranger in your home?"

 "A stranger is someone you don’t know."

 A scoff could be heard, along with footsteps indicating he followed her to where she was; to his surprise, she was already making dinner, pasta, he presumed. with two plates set on the table.

 Was she serious? "Well, I don’t know you."

"So you willingly barged into a stranger's home, pretty clever," she laughed. "Did you follow me?"

“No, I dug a bit and found you," she couldn’t help but laugh more at his attempt.”I noticed the van that was following me yesterday, plus, if you dug around about me, you wouldn’t be here."

"Why are you here, anyway?" she said as she filled up the two plates with salsa and set the remaining in the middle if either of them had wanted seconds.

 He sat down, examining the dish. It was nicely made and fairly appetizing, especially after a long day of work. On the other side of the table, she sat leaning over to him, and there it is,  her stare.

 "Why do you do that?"

 "Do what?"

 "Stare"

"Does it bother you?"

 It was definitely a no, but he couldn’t say that, and on the other hand, he couldn’t say yes either.

 "Does Tuco not pay you enough so you make money on the side?" With that, Ignacio let out a big sigh and set his utensils aside.

 "The problem isn’t my salary or anything; Tuco is a ticking time bomb; he didn’t mind putting a bullet between a guy’s eyes just because he got a weird look from him, let alone me."

 "Your face has good bone structure; keep it that way," she said as she slipped the pasta into her mouth again. He didn’t know if these were compliments or not; she didn’t say them in a flirtatious manner, definitely more like she stated facts from a powerpoint presentation.

 After a moment of silence, he said, "Your cooking is amazing; where’d you learn it from?" She could tell he liked it by how he was devouring what was presented in front of him.

"My father’s an amazing cook, but I was the only one who got his talent; my two brothers

They learned to gamble from me instead."

 So she does have a family. Though she was an orphan or something.

"gamble?"

"Yes! My favorite hobby is real. I could do it for hours, plus I know all the tricks."

"okay show me sumn' "

 "I’m in a good mood today, so I'll  show you a few."

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and jokes. (Yn) gave the guy a lesson on games and cheats while his eyes filled with interest in what she was showing him, but either way, they both knew the night had to come to an end.

As Ignacio was at the door, ready to step out, he looked back to the woman who had greeted him goodbye a few seconds earlier, sitting on her couch peacefully petting her cat while watching TV. He really forgot why he came here in the first place.

Yn'’s mind filled with what she could do now to avoid her boredom, but as soon as she received a certain voice call from a specific person, she knew the next few days were going to be eventful.

She watched as Krazy-8 walked out of that door looking like his legs were about to give out at any given moment, yet he was sure fast enough to drive away in his vehicle. giving Yn her moment to shine.

She dresses nicely for the occasion for once, letting her hair down and doing her makeup, just taking care of herself before this whole shitshow goes down.

Parking her car next to Tuco’s and purposely bumping into it a little bit was the easy part; now she has to go in and embrace what’s going to happen.

Tuco was already staring at her in disbelief; he definitely saw what happened through the big classroom window, looking absolutely furious, while Nacho turned around after a few seconds and did his heart drop— is she everywhere?

"Hey!" She heard Tuco call out when she walked by their table to the register, but she pretended she didn’t hear them.

"Hello! Um.. can I get the number four, please, on the go?" She said this while smiling to the man before her, who went to work right away in order to avoid the scene that was about to happen.

"Yo chica, hey," she felt a hand guide her to turn around as she was met by none other than Tuco, who stood beside him, Ignacio. "You just hit my car."

"Huh? I hit your car?" Tuce chuckled at Varga. This bitch’s acting dumb.

"See, that car that you parked your piece of shit next to?" That’s mine, and you’ve just run into it."

"Oh well, I guess I could’ve and I didn’t notice, so my apologies, sir," she smiled and turned around, collecting her order and mumbling a small thank you before rushing out.

She could hear Tuco yelling not to get away from him, but the altercation needed to happen outside.

"Don’t you walk away from me!" Ay, puta!"

All the talking was done by the salamanca, while Varga stayed awfully quiet. Even Tuco noticed a slight change in demeanor on his end.

"You see that! You did that!" he said, pointing to the tiniest dent known to mankind.

"That’ll buff right out, now if you’ll excuse me—

As she was getting ready to open her car door, she felt a hand grab her by the shoulder and swing her all the way around, face to face with Tuco.

"You’re not leaving until you pay for this."

"If money is all you need, I've got great insurance."

Once again, with his hand that’s still glued to her, he shakes her to stop talking that nonsense.

"I ain’t messing around with no insurance, bitch, cash."

"Listen, I've barely got cash on me, so if you just give me your information, I’ll send it to you through insurance."

Thud.  Now (Yn) was sandwiched between Tuco salamanca and a wall; her head began to hurt already; maybe doing this herself was a bad idea, but she knew Mike would follow up with the deal, and she couldn’t let that happen; it won’t help her in the long run, and she needed all the salamanca alive.

So she'd have a black eye from one of them—not a big deal.

"You’re pretty, but a pretty awful liar." "I saw your wallet earlier; you've got plenty."

"That’s for my rent; it’s due today, and I can’t— ugh

Tuco’s ring was sure to leave a mark on Yn'’s cheek. Her head is already spinning. Why do I do this to myself?

"Just give him the money." This time it was Ignacio who spoke; no emotions were displayed, though his voice was almost like a whisper.

(Yn) looked at him and then forward to meet the loco eyes of Tuco Salamanca. she chuckled.

"I ain’t giving you shit."

The police sirens could be heard coming this way. "It’s time to bounce," Ignacio said, but his partner didn’t budge; instead, he ordered Nacho to leave and let him finish this business.

[hyperfixationsporfavor]

hey just saw you were taking requests so im here to give one. i dont know if you have read "veil" but its a manga basically you can search it its up to you. so my request is if you could do nanami (headcanons or oneshot doesn't matter) with a reader like emma from that manga (like she likes to dress up, likes to feel things and the main thing she cant see). thank youu 💗

Author's Note: Hello! Thank you for the request. I previously only knew Veil from tiktok so I read some chapters for some more context. It's such a cute manga and I definitely plan to read more.

Here's a little one shot. And I don't explicitly say it in the fic but Reader is blind like Emma. Let me know what you think. :)

When Kento got home he found you on the couch with your St. Bernard, Smalls, curled up next to you. You had been sipping a cup of tea while some Beethoven played from his old record player. 

“Kento?” you called out.

“Yeah,” he replied. 

He closed the door behind him and made his way over to you.

You smiled as you heard him approach you, setting your tea on the coffee table and standing up to properly greet him. He lowered his head to kiss you, which you swiftly deepened. 

After some time the two of you reluctantly pulled away from each other.

“How was work?” you asked.

“Fine. How about you?”

You sighed and leaned against him. “Another day of modeling beautiful clothes? It was pure torture. 

He chortled under his breath and wrapped you tighter in his arms. 

~

“Kento? Can you zip this up?”

Kento finished adjusting the cufflinks on his suit and made his way over to you. You turned away, allowing him to zip up the back of your evening gown. Your face heated up when you felt his knuckle brush against the small of your back as he grabbed the zipper. Once the dress was secure you turned around so he could fully see you.

“How do I look?” you checked. 

“Beautiful.”

~

After the two of you said your goodbyes to Smalls you made your way out of your apartment building to the opera. Kento had secured a pair of tickets months in advance. At your insistence the two of you decided to walk. You held onto his arm as the two of you made your way to the opera house. On the way you passed an array of luxury department stores and Kento halted in front of a particularly special one.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I’m just admiring this model. Her picture’s in the store window.”

“Oh yeah?” you jested. “Should I be jealous?”

“Maybe,” he retorted. “Especially if she could get me a discount.”

You pecked his cheek. “As much as I love playing this game with you we don’t want to miss the 

opening curtain.”

~

Once the two of you had arrived you were stopped at the door by a photographer. 

“(Name)! Can I get a picture for the society pages?” 

More voices approached you. “(Name)? The model?”

“I saw your billboard downtown today! You’re even more beautiful in person!”

Security came forward and waved the onlookers away. Then you and Kento were escorted by an usher to your seats.

~

“Are you alright?” you asked.

Kento rested his hand on your knee. “Of course. Why?”

“Well, that was a bit of fanfare downstairs. I think I caused a scene.”

You reached out and ran your finger over the glass of his Rolex.

“People are starting to recognize you. It’s nothing to be embarrassed over.”

He took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m so proud of you.”

You lifted his hand to your lips and kissed his fingers. 

The house lights dimmed and the audience applauded. 

“Will you tell me if one of the singers trips?” you whispered.

“Absolutely,” he assured you.

~

The End. 

[starz4valen]

queers im fucking lost come save me

ok but in all seriousness,

despite labeling myself as aroace for a hot minute and finding comfort in that label and the community for a time—shit doesnt feel quite right anymore.

i have had ONE EX. one.

i genuinely think i was in love with him. i only felt what i felt with him,,,WITH HIM. nobody else. I felt the butterflies/giddiness, i loved his laugh, his smile, hearing him, his jokes, all the names he would call me, how much he said he loved me, our late night discord calls, having him around, just. him. when he rarely spoke abt shit that was bothering him it hurt me so bad, like i would hurt with him. and the mere THOUGHT of ME hurting him made me wanna sob.

as you can probably guess by the fact we’re exes, we’re not together anymore. it hurts. hell, my stomach tangled a bit as i typed that out. (could be cause recently someone who used to be a friend went and dated him and then got upset at me for getting upset at them but this ain't abt them.)

we broke up in like june last year, and i felt so fucking horrible about it bc it basically ended w him yelling at me over text at how horrible i am at listening and how i treated him more like a therapist—which i will admit i did. i sucked for that. it makes sense why tho, i was working through a lot of shit at the time, doesn’t justify it at all though. i should’ve treated him better. im desperately trying to fix it in my current relationships so that never happens again.

then again, he also treated me badly. he said things that really fucked with my sense of trust in people and just made me scared to get close with anyone like that ever again, or in general bc i was convinced everyone had some ulterior motive w me or secretly didnt give a shit abt me—but also i felt *I* was the problem. like every relationship im in is gonna end horribly bc im just that bad. its taken a lot to say that i feel loved by and trust my current friends, as well as trying to recognize that I deserve love, and im glad i can say that im getting better ^^

but,,,idk anymore

i concluded i was aroace almost a year after we broke up. there were a couple reasons. for one, i only really got that close w him. i dont really know if ive had a crush or what that feels like—in fact i think i faked one in elementary, the whole reason i got w my ex was bc he was flirting w me and it made me feel nice. (also bc i was worried he would be my only shot at love but i digress) i feel off when people talk about heading to poundtown or anything like that, the same with crushes—just crushes tho relationships i totally get—and i still struggle to wrap my head around attraction and how people just can look at someone without even knowing them at ALL and go “you. i want you.”

i wrote off how i felt when i was with him as simply some non-romantic form of attraction and called it a day.

but recently ive been reflecting on that, and i think i was wrong. the way that even now i get all these emotions by merely talking abt my ex says something. how upset seeing that "friend" going ahead and dating him after barely knowing him and just how angry i was says something. the way i cried seeing my best friend get a whole small crate of presents from their partner for their bday bc i was THAT JEALOUS says something. the way i yearn for affection and to be loved again says something. the way im starting to miss being in love again says something. the way i would always want some sort of relationship—even when i identified as aroace—but just never thought it would happen bc i didn't feel pretty enough, or mentally well enough, deserving of one, or like id ever be lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel that way again and how scared and sad that makes me,,,says something.

now in terms of poundtown—legit dunno. closest to that I've done w anyone was neck kisses from my ex, which i did really enjoy—but also i legit identified as ace like the whole time we were together and the few times he made jokes like that i felt uncomfy. plus the only way i feel i could be ok w going further w something like that is if its either excessively gentle or the most unserious thing ever. so tbh if i had to take a guess on how i feel abt that—not too keen on it.

I'm debating a couple labels, bi, aroace, bi and ace, demirose, and demirose and bi, but tbh i feel bi kinda fits the most? (maybe???) but also it doesn't. idk if its the fear of opening my mind to me being in a relationship despite my fear of intimacy and commitment or just that I'm aroace and this is my brain telling me to stop overthinking shit—but i know i wanna figure this shit out

if anyone has like legit any words of advice PLEASE send it my way. i will take even the tiniest crumb of guidance cause i am more lost than a child in ikea.

thanks to anyone who read all this <3

[mejomonster]

So Im watching dangerous romance

Things it does right: feels grounded, dont know how to explain but its more like My Dear Loser or Moonlight Chicken in terms of feeling than say My School President or Theory of Love. Theres a grounded feel to the presentation, so while there's romance tropes they feel more like accentuating a "feels like slice of life" story rather than a heavy romcom vibe. (It is funny and angsty romance though!)

Lead actors work great together, they got to be in Never Let Me Go but this role lets Chimon showcase how solid he is in lead roles. Perth is well suited to this particular role and portraying it well. (I also recommend Chimon in The Gifted, the Gifted Graduation, and The Player, and My Dear Loser for more of a vibe like this show's).

The Only trope i hate is "knew each other in childhood before" which many a drama love using. This drama, unfortunately, also used it. But thankfully for me its 1 scene and so far the show isnt indicating they used to be friends or crushes. Just that they crossed paths once as kids and Kang showed kindness, so Sailom had reason to believe maybe Kang could again now. As far as me having to deal with this trope goes? The trope is at a minimum, its bareable. (Which btw... if a story IS childhood friends to logers im fine with the trope, i just hate how many like cdramas and taiwan dramas often introduce 2 seemingly strangers then flash back to some childhood scene where 1 of them actually got a crush years ago and recognizes their crush again as an adult... that trope is just NOT for me lol. Id rather either writing has to show me the childhood years of growing close - Bad Buddy, Theory of Love, Go Ahead do this - or else I want it to show people getting to know each other At the age of the story with No Shortcut excuse for why they should get together sooner - Not Me the Series, My Beautiful Man, She Likes to Cook and She Likes to Eat do this well. Cherry Magic is an example of long-term-acquaintances forming a relationship and that wlrks fine too, because its got story reasons of X years long spent together and starts the story with at least one party in the active process of building the relationship into more/getting feelings. I just... i hate the "knew each other once" trope 90% of the time because i feel like sometimes it leads to writers skipping a reason for characters to gradually grow close DURING the actual story. And so i tend to avoid it by default. This shows execution of it is, like i said, bearable as it doesnt seem to be leaning on it to cut writing the present development).

One of the Best bisexual love triangles ive seen in a while! I remember when Theory of Love did the bi love triangle and i was so happy to see 1 a clearly written bisexual in a bl romance drama (oh how far weve come), 2 a bisexual written with their romance story genuinely given care as in it was easy to see they liked both crushes sincerely 3 a fairly accurate portrayal as far as like bi college romance can go. Well Dangerous Romance goes for the tragic bi love triangle too! Kang is a teen, maybe he isnt even sure he likes guys yet. But its clear from the start he likes Pimfah is long time crush, his best friend, the friend he most aims to impress and show his kinder caring qualities to. He takes notice of Sailom, a boy who DOES try and succeed at challenges and who Kang is definitely jealous of: jealous Sailom doesnt have to buy success, is valued for his skillsets not his background, is visibly kind to others and succeeds from it (where Kang when he is nice to strangers is often interpreted as buying people/manipulating so hes given up on trying to be nice at all). Kang admires both Pimfah and Sailom for their genuine kindness, their genuine talent and efforts to work hard. Sailom isnt his best friend though, so he reacts hostile. He ends up liking Sailom longer term though for similar reasons to liking Pimfah. Sailom tolerates his bullshit even less, which ultimately makes Sailom even more appealing as someone who expects him to do well By His Own choice. Kang is loyal and kind and territorial with those he likes. He wants someones attention like Pimfah? He goes to do something brave and showy like hold a lizard. He wants to be alone with her, he tries to exclude Sailom (or others) so it can be a date with Pimfah. He subconciously likes Sailom? He also gets showy, insisting they play music. He also gets territorial, extremely upset to see Sailom close to other men and dragging Sailom off. Kang has a bad habit of not saying what he feels right away, so its good Sailom asks questions and demands complete answers. But Kang does wear his heart on his sleeve in terms of actions. Once he cares about someone hes incredibly generous and caring, once he has a crush his gaze follows them magnetically and he gets quite overtly clingy. No wonder Sailoms friends knew right away.

It works great as a bi love triangle for a few reasons. 1 Pimfah is not painted as the antagonist or girl who comes between them, the faen fatale trope. Shes just a best friend whos heart gets broken, just like Kang is a best friend who gets his heart broken, as is Sailom. She, reasonably, likes Sailom (shes Kangs best friend so it is fairly realistic shed also like Sailom like Kang does, and shes got a similar personality to Sailom). Kang reasonably likes Pimfah and its not a surprise to the audience (and his crush on Sailom is depicted similarly so Kangs attractions read as clearly bi - its no surprise to us who he likes and that both crushes are genuine). Sailom clearly likes Kang, clearly likes men, and as the 3 develop you notice he doesnt have any special feelings for Pimfah but thinks shes a nice person. I loved the episode all three of them got their heart broken. ToT Pimfah likes Sailom, crushing Kang (and fueling the fire that is his fears hes not good enough As His Own person outside of status TO be likable). Kang at the same time, knows Sailoms worth and why Pimfah would like him, feels Sailom IS better than himself (both Kangs self hatred and his own admiration of Sailom compounding), so Kang figures at least the 2 people he thinks are amazing deserve each other: Sailom is wonderful and deserves Pimfah more than Kang if Sailom is who she likes. So Kang is PISSED Sailom doesnt want her. The two best people Kang knows, how could Sailom reject her? How could Pimfah and Sailom, at least, not end up happy? Then Sailom confesses HE LIKES KANG. Kangs world is rearranging. Oh. The man he admires doesnt like the woman he admires (who doesnt like Kang), because the man he admires likes him. Woah. Kang couldve accepted the two people he views as "better" than him deserving each other. But Sailom liking him means suddenly Kang does feel Deserving of equal value again, confusion. And has to consider if he views Sailom romantically like he does Pimfah, or if the admiration is only platonic. Kang panics, says he only did his caring gestures out of guilt. But Kang does like Sailom, HAS liked Sailom and its been subconciously driving him over time, and so even with the lie "it was just guilt" he doesnt want to be apart from Sailom. So he still finds himself trying to help Sailom sick, trying to talk to him, qnd realizing hes just as jealous of Sailom with other people as he was with Pimfah liking another. So it clicks into place, he goes to talk to Sailom alone, kisses him. The next several hours are a mess until Kang can spit out his honest feelings and he and Sailom can talk about it. Meanwhile, Pimfahs heart break is very teen slice of life relatable, and shes not ever villainized as a character who "came between the main couple." Shes still Kangs best friend, their confession of different crushes just means theyve been giving each other space to process without both crying more (Kang over her rejecting him, Pimfah over Sailom rejecting her).

Its a very well handled love triangle. It propels all of their stories forward. It makes sense. (I finished ep 7, still have the rest to go).

[procyo9]

HOLY SHIT I DID IT!!!!!!! JFHEKJGHSKJHFDASHFGSDJK

ok now im getting anxious lol GOTTA GO

WHOLE THING CAN BE ALSO FOUND UNDER THE CUT!! LOVE Y'ALL

as always Crystal belongs to @quaddmgd :3

"Rogue I beg you, please anyone but Palmer? You know I-" "Listen, kid. You come to me asking for help, and I'm giving you help. If you think you're in a position to cherrypick who you 'like' to work with then you either grow up and go talk with Panam or leave." Elegy clenched her fists and stormed out of the booth, bumping shoulders with some stranger on the way out. She was so angry she felt like burning something down; why does it always end up like that? At this point she'll never get her street cred anywhere. She leaned against a wall, not feeling like going home empty-handed. She needed a drink - something to soothe her nerves and give her fuel to think. Elegy raised her sights to look for Claire, who was occupied with-- oh, it's that pretty girl.

She's been coming to Afterlife a lot lately and quickly got recognized among other solos as someone who should not be messed with. Many wanted to work with her, but she prefered working alone; she was an ex-nomad, after all. She probably had to learn to rely only on herself to survive without her family. To be honest, Elegy was a little jealous - she tried really hard to become independent but her ties kept a tight knot on her. No matter how good her skills were, she still was forced to rely on others to help her with matters she couldn't resolve on her own. It can be exhausting sometimes, asking for help - however stupid that sounds.

"Eh, don't worry C, Nix has his days. Afterlife is full of gonks that would pay you just to have a chance of working with you." "I just wish... He didn't need to be so harsh about that." The girl with colorful hair sipped the last of her liquor, soft expression present on her face. At this point Elegy caught herself staring, and she hid her face under her bangs. But did she hear right? Crystal needed Nix's help? Why would she- "Also, you know I prefer working with people who know their stuff. Can't let another gonk die on me," she played with her glass, turning the melting ice cubes inside left and right, much like Elegy's stomach at this moment. She wanted to scream 'I KNOW MY STUFF,' at the top of her lungs, but obviously that wouldn't work. She needed to approach her somehow. She had to.

***

"Heard you need help with some netrunnin'?" Suddenly the seat beside Crystal wasn't empty anymore, and her eyes met with black orbs radiating with confidence. "Did you listen in on us?" She shifted from a relaxed pose to a more stiff, ready-to-act one. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but it worked! "Listen, Nix knows his shit and all, I get it. But to be honest? I can do anything he can - if not better - not counting the fact that I'm simply just a lot cooler to be around. You should ditch that old ex-corp, he and Rogue can go be pains in the ass together in that shitty booth of hers," Crystal's soft expression was long gone, replaced by way more annoyed and suspicious one. "Huh, you do gigs for Rogue?" "Sometimes. When she doesn't pair me up with assholes, that is." Elegy fiddled with her fingers, watching her hands; somehow her confidence began depleting, so she decided - it's now or never. "So, how about that - you help me, I help you." "Well, since you did listen in; what makes you think I'd just go and risk my life with a random gonk-" "You might wanna tune in and listen to the news then; rerun is about to start." Claire shouted from another end of the counter, serving drinks to a group of young mercs. Crystal's eyes shot back to the blue-haired gal, who just shrugged and turned her head to the TV.

The news lady began going on about the latest case of a corporation being targeted by a cyberterrorist known as The Plague; after their last attack, more than 2000 Biotechnica employees were stalled in their work. All employees on-site were found unconscious and poisoned, with no damage other than their security being compromised - there were traces of some top secret documents being stolen, which seemed more like a nasty joke left by the attacker rather than a slip-up. “The nasty joke being a dick. Drew it myself,” Elegy commented on the news, her hands intertwined behind the back of her head like some laid back anime character. All she got in response was a ‘I am still not convinced’ smirk, as Crystal went back to playing with her - now completely empty - glass. “They’re still clonin’ humans. Got all the evidence backed up on a shard, but got nobody I trust with it yet,” her expression was serious now, and she meant it. “They clone them, force them to think and feel, and then they experiment on them. Playing fucking god… No matter how helpful they were during the energy crisis and food industry, this is beyond fucked up.” "Holy shit,” a small chuckle escaped from Crystal, who seemed rather surprised by the sudden change of tone. “That really does sound fucked up. And you really pulled off something like that all by yourself?” “Well, can’t doubt Claire.” Elegy beamed a smile at the barkeep, who winked back while still working her beverage magic. ”They used to call me The Omen at first, it’s all silly really but still, that’s what I get for having a ‘signature move’ or whatever…” She began to ramble a bit, feeling the heat in her gut rising with every positive reaction she got out of her soon-to-be partner. “Hm. Okay. Tell me what’s up with that gig. I think we might work together quite well.” “...You mean it?” “Yep. So? Gimme something to work with!” “!! Okay, so there’s this new smart link prototype-”

***

“So if I help you steal that prototype for your Ashura, you’re gonna help me with cracking the security? That building is tight as shit you know-” “Yup! You won’t even have to lift a finger. In and out.” “And you need me because… You can’t drive a car?” “Yeah!” Her innocent smile was devastating in a way. Crystal couldn’t believe it at first, but it seemed that this girl was serious. “What the hell. Let’s do it. I’m Crystal, by the way.” She reached to the bubbly one next to her, with the intention of shaking her hand. Elegy returned the gesture with a little bit of hesitation, but quickly pushed all those feelings of doubt away - this was a time for celebration. “Elegy! You know, this calls for a toast. You ever tried David Martinez?”

[findursoulmateorfindyourself]

its really still a problem. i am reading mark aurel which is all about focusing on urself and pracising kind hearted not comparing urself too others not envy and so on and then this stunning stunning stunning young woman comes, dark hair teint skin beuatifuk mouth beuatofuk smile suoer young oerfect akin very beautifuk body but akk in a very subtle way. she smiles to me i smile bavk i admire her but and this sistrubs me i still envy her. i wish i had her beauty and her eaziness soorit the effortless sex appeal. next to her i feek old, wasted and kind of trying to be ridicule. i need to wear rhose toght things to he recognized I need to really ahoe my hody but she is not doing anything kf jt and still glowing. but it ahoukd he omay and i ahoukd not feek bad aboht mysekf just because she js suoer stunning. why am i doing it. its all just to put myself down. but i knkw irs a fact a fact i just oainky should accept and mkve on. be grateguk for the bidy i am in as i an prraching everyday and saying hoe much i love myself now. apparently i am not there yet. hiw can i get over it and just recognize and cherish her beuaty fulk stop. i dont hate her fir being behaitfuk i just wish it coukd be me instead. i think my kifr woukd be so much better if i looked like that but what woukd be better? i know she is a beautifuk kind soul the way she smiles gives jt off. its not like i would be taking this beautiful body and losing a beautiful character bc she clearly has it all…so what am i scared for. the man or woman I like, likes her better fir her beauty and her character? so it be, then it simply means they are a better match. if she is oreferred for something like getting into a club I am not, so it be. it is not my oath to be in this club as it is not my path to be with this person. but then how to jot feel sorry for urself as it all just seems unfair. and i think this is the crucial part. everythingabout us is beautiful if we are doing it with a compass liek mark aurek out of honesty purity and kind hearted ness every little thought ( it is okay to be jealous I am not there yet) but I am really trying. I might bit get into the club, i should say c’est la vie, and might go hoke with a fresh mind crrating something amazing. it has the same value. or does it not? therr is no such thing as objectively speaking thats why POV became such a thing i guess but yes. lets try to oretend objectively which means a lot kf opinions gathered she is getting into the club meeting tons of amazing oeiple and sancing to incredibke music. over girl going home and chilking thwre no ine cates aboht her. but it is also with what aurek says caring about what ithers think and do its espeically the problem!! I inky have my now and here out if my eyes and my heart and it is supposed to be like that. and ofc im thinkinf hundert peopke consider it to he better like this or like that basically this is how democracy works, how can I vakidate my own opinion as much as them 100 if it comes to, it is the same good to be rejected and go hike than be in the club? its the same old same okd question about. which opinion values how can i crrate my value without the measurements of others. i am always coming to this. i sint want peiple to think i am a narcisisit egoman if i dont give a fuck aboht theyre opinions amd weigh mine way higher. it is trucky to maneuver in that mindest without becomung ignorant. but at the same time i dont want to live through grow through prosper thorigh affirmation hell no that aounds like hell. i want to affirm mysekf. it is maybe because ut is the sustainabke way. when we think about rivers and flyids which i cam to visualize when we had a saying about einfluss neglej und beeinflussen which also inckudes the river interesntinfky and aurel is talking alout aboht the stream and i think it is pary of live as blood is streaming through our veines and we need ghe water and the fluids, the circulation is life. bht coming back to the asoect of sustainabikty. listen imagine your own body giving ur own body ur own bacteria ur own blood cells when we tal

lol my paragrpah was maxed oht i do too much bla bla. but yes if we i somt want to go into biologism to much i never want to dsocirmante bodies espeicalky when it comes to genetics we always have to he carefuk to not get into any natuonalism discimnating fucked up shit. but I think my own body loves theri own system the most and it csn get a lot of her own system. its a little bit maybe kets talk about skin its better. my dahrer always refused to wash us too much as babies and in general he as this pladoyer: ur own bidy crrates fat that oeitect the skin, washing it away sith oerfumed shampoo gel to then out chemical body lotion sossnt seem to be an enhancement for the skin seems pretty ligicak to me. I mean everyone has their own bekiefs and ways but I kove to appreciate what my vody creates and what my body does. I know i am talking aboht an abled healthy skin ans i know some peiple just love to smeell like thousand rose leafs. byt i find that metaphor pretty good for also souk stuff. what my own body gives to my body is because it is healthy important disclaimer sensefull and good for me. it pribably matches my needs better than any artificial or natural product which fits affirmation from outside. of course fhe cream snells nice i feek fresh but then, my bidy get used to this crram wnats more of this crram and stips crrating its own fat to protect the skin maybe. I always have to buy this cream and its exterior, it will never last. i need it nee alk the time

i need rhat affirmation it feeks good but it wont last, my own afformation whereby comes naturally fits my needs and it is independent on any outer things. and this is why the value for me of my own affirmation wighs heavier than any of other people. i feel free and i feel good avoht jt but ifc still i am here comoaring mayelf to a maybe 19 year old woman that i wikk never be and never was. and its okay like fhaf but i need ti remind myself and i am disappointed inmyself still that it affects me so much and my head us gilled aitb it instead kf kther thints. but at the same time i lay down write this down and reflect on it so i hope i pray but i also

know that the next time i get inti a situation like that ill feel differently. I see feel hear taste the world thourgh my eyes and I love that I appreciate so many good food so much so many nice music ao many beuatofuk animals buidlings chikdrens families situations ( sometimes i dont of course madness, sexism, racism exploitation hatred and injsutice of the workd) but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this. trhough my mind baby through my mind and love ur mind, it diesnt mean you think her mind sucks, it is beautifuk for sure, but its her mind her life her feelings hers and its good to see ssomeone havinf it like that its just an insoiratuon and a joy if beuaty and smiles which is for free and contagious( but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this.

[oswednesday]

the first dream was like, i was at a pool party Already pretty scary! and having a good time despite all that when the Cops show up and the whole thing is my middle brother had killed someone in a really extreme sort of way and i got to yell at my mom about all the times i begged for anyone to intervene and get him help with anything and now we're here instead i woke up like wugh, fed the cats sipped some water went to the bathroom then fell back asleep

the second one was i was like in a queerplatonic thing with one of the artists i watch vlogs of, i dont Think i feel anything for them in the Real but maybe i do? it might have been just someone selected to make this dream like Work? or maybe i think theyre cute but wasnt really thinking about it?? ah! handwave to be back on topic, i got a headkisses and Stuff and i was holding tight to the gift and they were all like youre only with me for the Stuff arnt you like teasing and i was like no of course not heres the reasons why <-but that kind of thing my one once really close ex-friend would do like oh youre a parasite (despite defending me publically when other people would say that!) then we got back to eat at their place and it was pizza which i have a complicated relationship so i was like okay got to eat fast but i could sense that despite the date thing being set up the way it was that i was overstaying my welcome their partner came in and started to talk to me and that was nice in the dream but the dream!artist was getting aggro about it in the way this ex-friend always wanted me over when her boyfriend was around but we were NEVER allowed to interact, like she was always like on me about what i wore and how i was sitting and things like that like ??? so i recognize that this dream i was processing those feelings in like a much cooler environment and maybe some Im Jealous Of This Person I Dont Know shaking out of my system

the third dream i was participating in like a cross country event (something i did in my tiny youth because i thought it meant we would travel and had no adult in my life to say otherwise or give a shit about what i was signing up for like i was in 1-3 grade age range is how much of not a shit was given about me level of neglect here) but i got lost and it was miserable hot and buggy and i built up the courage to ask a bunch of kids playing on the side walk if they could go get their parents for me who came out and i asked if they had any deet and they were like oohh youre doing the marathon and they got stuff out and a drink and the commotion brought both neighbors out and i got snacks too and everyone was like congratulations! you can do it! and so galvanized i was back at it and there were a lot of people i was avoiding in like a Gut Check sort of way who wanted to walk with me like thisll turn into a gorn if you do that! kind of warning

then the route cut through a school building that was like an amalgamation of all the schools i ever been to and i was hanging out with two girls who i think we could have been friends if i was the way i am now back when i was younger we were always like adjacent friends but like how much i was neglected along with my behaviors and desire to scrap barrels prevented us from being closer and we talked about that in the dream like ghost of christmas past but ghost of high school past sort of style i suppose gfgdfg

then i was at a setting i dream of sometimes its a little like a fusion space stage, theatre that was large and accommodating desire in my head, the nightmare tends to be not that i dont know my lines but there simply isnt enough time to, i cant find my booklet and i dont know when i go on and i know no one will assist me, but in this one that one ex-friend i mentioned was uncharacteristically helpful with that and we were hanging out with a girl i knew from a different school reading like horoscope stuff and being like #homestuck about it and when we went on we did like improv basically to the circumstances and that faded into like i was a detective but sometime the detective's partner when i was the partner it was like oh god what are my lines situation when i was the detective i was like exploring the area making like Decisions like do i jump in the water to grab these documents do i wander these back alley markets alone? they were lovely pumpkin falls stuff but my phone was full and i had no money and one of the table clerks looked like one of the old men in my child life who were weird perverts to me that my dad and his then girlfriend allowed (like it was her dad) so i just let him talk at me and ignored my discomfort but it wasnt inappropriate talk it was about his wife and his like gourd garden

while this was all going on it was Also interjected with me sitting in like a townhall sort of meeting of like politicians and people who are like Go Team about politics and they were talking and i finally interjected in this big speech that i didnt flub up once and then after i was done i just left into the hall where the theater was, like this great wide hall with white tile the whole thing glowed like from the ceiling lights like the interior of a mid00s scifi shoot

then the final dream was this really involved like magical system where i was attending school and i had like two friends we got sent to like an Untamed Reality and made friends with the Monsters after foiling some scheme and when we got back to our reality like the school we tried to enroll into someone like rich kid rival had been spreading rumors about us, but we had to attend a different school cause despite saving the world or whatever we got exiled/expelled/outlaws from all the damage we did but we had to like get back in to get training so we would be able to stand a chance against the Big Bad but the headmaster of this school was fine with me he wasnt fine with my friends in like a Ew What Are Those bigotry sort of way (one was a snail operating like a humanoid mech suit) and another was like a wood elf but wood elves were more animaloid like shifting beast parts on the body depending on the local fauna and i was like a Wizard from a Respectable Family fallen from Gracecore and i was like well fuck you whatever lets go see if the bloodmages let us in their school, and these ones were like the war/battlemages and he was like one second wait at leeeeast try out our entrance exam as a way to trap us cause he realized the last second he could at least get some money out of us as ransom to different parties or like kill us and get a reward

but when the monsters came out it was like the wood elf knew how to deal with like a savage war hound and had it like on its back tail wagging ready for pets and then a troll came out and we were like hey is he even paying you? yeah man you should be getting paid, and we broke like the magic dome up and out of the area and thats where That dream ended

my final dream was like being stuck in like a hoarder room but i was doing something lewd in front of a mirror despite that, well! then i woke up and was like! okay ! <-starts my day