#Im drowning

[jacenotjason]

Spooky Month - Opposite AU [JV]

part one of this madness

we've got the main guys. plus Jaune. i just really wanted to draw OP!Jaune ok.

concept art VV

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Help the way that Tom reacted to Luke saying he’d marry him is SO. SWEET.

[chrissy-kaos]

"You're miles away but I still feel you. Anywhere I go, there you are"

[tadaoren]

lifeguard save me in ankle deep waterr, the water is taking meee..

[secretly-a-trekkie]

I HaTE sTaR wARs says the guy currently embroidering his name in aurebesh onto literally every single surface he can get his hands on

[anxietywasright]

The worst part about being strong is nobody knows you're hurting

[cyberrose2001]

Boop boop boop boop

violently boops you

[ramennoodleinatux]

i feel like some people just never grew up (in the bad judgey way). i'll hear stories about how people just constantly shit talk others on the internet or tell someone that they're not something, when... THEY'RE NOT THEM 😭 it's NOT that hard to respect peers (who haven't done insanely terrible things obviously)

[enmesheddaughterparentified]

Do you have any idea what kind of damage it does to a kid to have to be the reason you keep living?

Do you have any idea what kinds of fucked up relationships that kid is going to get into where they're constantly being the "saviour" for others because you made then think its normal?

Do you know how much strength it takes for that kid to stop?

Do you know how much strength it takes for that kid to not fall into a relationship just like the one you had with them immediately after stopping?

[feralwritings]

listening to love songs and writing bandfic the enemies to lovers is rapidly disappearing im losing the plot help

[darkcloudsatnight]

*drowns you in this beautiful water*

AGAIN!?

*DROWNING NOISES ×2 ABRHFHDHDJWRHJTIRJEJSJSJSIDUFJWJBDDJBSJWBDJDHC9IYRFYIY9UFG8U8FUY9FYET8Y9FRY97T97T8D8TUDD8YD8YR8*

[chrissy-kaos]

You took my happiness away.. and you don’t even care.

[maryjaneszombies-blog]

I've always had a fear that I'd die from drowning but what if I am just in a different way?

I'm drowning in my emotions...

[anixknowsnothin]

me when i wake up early morning to finish a 22 page physics worksheet just to go to school and receive a 32 page worksheet:

[anxietywasright]

My head is empty.

But I still have so many thoughts drowning me

[an-ace-on-the-case]

Sorry in advance for the angry rant

CWs: mentions of adhd meds (idk if that's a cw but I put it just to be safe)

Let me tell you about "gifted kids". Many people think that saying you are/were a "gifted kid" is a brag. They want to be a "gifted kid" because clearly it's so easy. But it isn't.

I am a "gifted kid".

Throughout all of primary school I coasted. I always passed all my assessments, usually with straight As. It wasn't challenging. I found it easy.

Then I started high school.

I'm in the extension class, often called the 'Smart Kids Class'. I've been in it since I started high school. We do extra work for all of the core subjects, on top of all of the normal assessments.

Year seven was awful. Way too many late nights were spent, finishing assessments the night before they were due. Many many mental breakdowns. My mental health declined. I had no confidence in myself, in my ability to do anything. I didn't think I was good enough, because it had been drilled into me since prep that failing academically was failing as a person. Sure the teachers had never outright said it but it was heavily implied.

It turns out that I had adhd. How could've guessed?

Year 8 was better, my adhd was medicated and I could keep on top of my work better. It was probably the best year I've had, despite all of the friendship issues. I could keep on top of work easily, I wasn't struggling anymore.

But then. Time skip to the start of this year.

The adhd meds stopped working.

I had built up a tolerence and I needed to up the dose. But the only appointment available was halfway through May this year. I just had to push through on my current dose.

It started again. The mental breakdowns about twice a month. Struggling to stay on top of work. Forgetting homework. Forgetting assessments. Procrastination. Everything I thought I left behind was back, and it was worse. I had some experience so I managed to get through it, but not unscathed. My mental health is shit. I have massive self-esteem issues. I have no confidence in any of the things I used to be confident in. I can't enjoy anything that is associated with school, which means I no longer enjoy drama. I don't feel like I can write anymore.

In the end, I went to the appointment. We're trying to decide which dose works for me best. But it's still so hard. The worst part is no one else seems to get it. Only about four other people in my class are (proabably) neurodivergent, and I'm not even great friends with them.

My life right now is a combination marathon, sprint, hop, and plate balancing. The marathon is to the end of the year, when I can have a rest, reset, relax. I also have to sprint, to try and keep up with all of schoolwork. But I have to hop, because it's so much harder for me to do the same goddamn thing my peers can do with ease. And on top of all that. I have to balance all my schoolwork, homework, extra-curricular activities, social life, self-care, mental health, and basic needs.

It's only term two and I'm already fucking exhausted.

But on the outside.

To everyone else watching.

I seem

fine.

So maybe

Just maybe

People who weren't/aren't "gifted kids" should stop wishing that they were.