#Ignore how the Fandom was/is lowkey toxic

[bbeeew-boodles]

what if,,,,, children,,,,, what then

[burningcheese-merchant]

I notice that you give Shadowspice alot of shit because of how it's based off of shallow fujoshi stereotypes and how they would be miserable with eachother if you regarded there canon personalities (which is lowkey valid), but that makes me surprised you like burningcheese because you do remember that burning spice tore off cheesy's wings, threw her off a cliff, kept her wounded in a prison for sadisms sake and threated to destroy all she ever treasured before the queen turned the tables and have him his rightful beating.

Most burningcheese fanart I have seen depicts burning spice as hulking and towering and smiling down at golden cheese freaking as if that isn't basic straight ship stuff, I'm not going to cry about "abuser x victim" or how your a "proshipper" but a decent chunk of the Fandom portrayal of burningcheese ignores golden cheese's dominance and how powerful she is and I'm invested in how you think golden cheese will get romantic with the dude who tried to take everything from her with sadistic glee, all of that aside have a good day.

Turned out long as fuck lol my bad

Gonna start by saying I appreciate you being polite/civil. Ngl I started reading the first sentence and immediately assumed it was a ShadowSp1ce fan come to start shit or something lol. I'm glad that's not the case. As unhappy as that ship makes me, I'm really not out to get anyone who likes it. You do you, it's not my business. I mean it when I say I'd rather never speak of ShadowSp1ce again if I don't have to. I'm a happier person without it in my thoughts. Again I ask "where is the memory gun from Gravity Falls when you need it" lmao

To address your other concerns. No I did not forget what Burning Spice did to Golden Cheese lol. That's a pretty important scene in the story, I don't really have a say in the matter. But really, what he did is just what villains do. It's horrible, but not out of the ordinary for someone like that. It shouldn't be downplayed or dismissed but I also don't think it needs to be blown as far out of proportion as I've seen so many do. Video game villain. There are far worse ones than Burning Spice, who have done far worse things. Promise.

Maybe it's just my luck, but I've never really seen anyone portray BurningCheese the way you describe. Not on here, at least. I just see Burning Spice simping really hard for the golden goddess and smiling when she steps on him lol. Or them just being genuinely happy together. Plenty of angst, sure. But nothing I would really say is out of character (that I recall off the top of my head). I don't doubt that such shallow, stereotypical portrayals exist, and I lament that they do. I myself don't subscribe to that. Yes, he hurt her, but she doesn't take it (or anything he says or does) lying down. She gets up and fights back. And that's what he loves about her most of all. She fights back. To make her the meek, doe-eyed little church mouse secretary to Spice's domineering CEO or whatever the fuck in service of some puddle-deep hetero-flavored gooner shit à la 50 Shades is boring and flanderization. Burning Spice is tough but so is Golden Cheese. They are equals in every way. Let them kick each other's asses. Spice would never love a person who couldn't stand up to him anyway. Who isn't strong, physically and mentally. Which is what she is and always should be.

But my MAIN canon. The canon I operate on. The one my little fankid critters exist in. THAT romance goes like this:

As for how I ascribe romance to them... Let me start by saying that I ship them in multiple ways, through multiple lenses. I ship BurningCheese where it's a toxic one-sided crush/obsession on Spice's part (and his behavior is condemned ofc), because exploring that kind of darkness within a fictional setting is interesting to me. I ship BurningCheese where Golden Cheese gives in to despair, same as Burning Spice once did, and corrupts, and they become a villain couple (got a big fic in mind for that lol. That will be fun to write eventually). In a similar vein to that is the AU I've been playing around with on here where Spice is basically her pet serial killer and brings her severed heads and other things as tokens of affection (he is absolutely fucking deranged in this AU), and because she herself is... kind of a broken person in this story, she starts responding to these attempts to stroke her ego and win her favor, leading her down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame and denial and unhealthy attachment, where she eventually ends up as insane for him as he is for her (I know it sounds crazy, but... it's fun in a dark and disturbing way lol). I ship BurningCheese in that time travel AU (that I'm still cooking btw! That will be real fic! I'm working on it with a friend of mine!) where Golden meets Spice while he's still the Herald of Change, with all of the trials and tribulations that brings. I ship BurningCheese as a standard forbidden love affair, where she's good and he's bad and neither is willing to change for the other, but are willing to set aside those differences to be together, even if only for a time and away from prying eyes and judgment. I like them all sorts of ways, because I just like them, you know? I like how they click. How they complement and contrast with each other. They're both very alike and very different. They have a lot to give each other and a lot they can do together. And they're soulmates, that's canon, they are canon (at least in some way), whether anyone likes it or not. So I win no matter what lol

Slow burn. Very, very slow. Post-canon, after Dark Enchantress has already been defeated and order restored to the world. There's nothing left for the Beasts to really do anymore, Burning Spice included (they are not resealed in my canon, they all remain free indefinitely). They can't go out and cause chaos without their Ancients coming and curbstomping them immediately. But... Burning Spice likes that Golden Cheese does that, so he manages to forge an agreement: if she indulges him and spars with him a few times a month, he'll stay out of trouble. And she agrees, for everyone else's sake. She certainly doesn't want to be around him any longer than she has to.

They grow a little closer through these fights of theirs, albeit unwillingly on Golden's part. They bicker and banter while they exchange blows, and afterwards while they tend to their own wounds. Do you really have a choice, when you end up stuck with someone in such a way?

Burning Spice is in love with her. Always has been. But his love is selfish, toxic. He's more attached to his idea of her than the real her, because he doesn't truly know her, despite his insistance plus their soul bond. Golden Cheese hates him and considers him a menace to society, and indulges his whims purely to protect and serve the public. So long as he's focused on her, he can't hurt anyone else.

He hits on her all the time. She rebuffs him all the time. He doesn't necessarily mind; as much as he'd love it if she returned his feelings, he's content with her refusal as well. He likes her bite, her wit, her anger. And he has her, at least in some way. Has her attention. Has their battles. That's enough for him

Slow burn redemption arc on top of the romance. Really, Burning Spice's redemption is mostly an accident. Golden Cheese wasn't trying to fix him (at first) and he was never looking to be fixed. They both believed he was damned and he didn't care, and that was that. And it really was, for a while. But eventually, gradually, he started to... mellow out. Enough that he started becoming a little more approachable, in her estimation. Thus they grow closer still, which in turn makes him mellow out more.

He starts opening up a little bit, here and there. Bits and pieces about himself. His past. General personality things. She does the same in turn. She starts to recognize him as more than just a heartless monster. He starts to acknowledge things he'd otherwise leave buried forever. There's some sort of trust and understanding forming.

Spice gains a measure of clarity. Not quite remorse, but... regret? Is it regret? Is he really able to say he regrets anything about his life? Has he gotten that soft? That pathetic?

... He regrets how he treated her. That much comes to be true. And he apologizes to her. It's not much, he's no good at apologies, but he's at least sincere. It's shocking to her. She takes it to heart, despite not really forgiving him (she will not do so for a long time still). It marks a little turning point in their relationship.

She lets him into her life and world a bit more. She relaxes a bit more around him and vice versa. They're not even so strict about their scheduled duels anymore; sometimes he comes by just because he wants to see her, and she obliges. He's still an asshole but less of one. She's still begrudging but less so. It's clear something has begun to change within him. She's not sure what it is, but it's there. And it's... meaningful, at least to her. Because she never thought she'd see it

Don't want to get too deep into it because I want to talk abt it more later. But there's at least one suicide attempt by Spice bc he's gotten really depressed (more than he already was) and Golden stops him, and in doing so realizes that she's come to genuinely care about him as a person and doesn't want him gone, even despite his misdeeds. Another big turning point, especially on her part

They become genuine friends. Bit of a weird friendship, he's still a bad guy, but even so. She's honest about enjoying his company. She talks to him like she does everyone else. And he likes it. He likes that she's so casual now. That they're so used to each other now. It's pleasant

The more he spends time with her and gets to know her, the deeper in love he falls. But no longer is it that corrosive sentiment it once was. With time, it evolves into a healthy affection and respect for her. He's still smitten as always and forever, but in a more normal way lol

The more time she spends with him and gets to know him, the more she comes to see that... He's really not so bad, underneath all of his... issues. He's intelligent. Thoughtful. Creative, even (ironic). He's very handsome. He makes her laugh. He keeps her on her toes. He's not so different from her, in some ways. With all of that, and what he's willingly revealed to her about his life, she believes that... he can be fixed. He can get better. Somewhere within the dark chasm of his soul is man with some worth. There's something worth salvaging inside of him. One little ray of light, flickering in the dark. He can change, if he wants to. She truly believes that now.

So she starts making an effort to help him along. Starts pushing for him to interact with others. Do good deeds. Participate in society, in life. He tries to push back but ultimately gives in, if only to appease her. She's the only person he tolerates still, everyone else can keel over and die for all he cares. Just because he's not actively hurting anyone doesn't mean he cares about them.

But... it works, little by little. This war of attrition she wages. Of course she can't force him to change; he has to want that for himself. But she can at least show him the merit in doing so. And she does. Slowly, begrudgingly, he starts to actually talk to people. Hang around them. Do things of his own accord, not just to make her happy. He does not say so, but he's learning to enjoy and appreciate life again

That's when she falls for him. It was already in motion for a while, but it's watching him improve and become more of the man she thinks exists deep down inside that does her in for good. Of course she's embarrassed. She grapples with the moral implications. But in the end, she can't help herself. He's charmed her. He won.

They're happy together. They marry. He is gladly accepted by the GCK as their king, for they have embraced him by then. They have those two kiddos. He's forged new, genuine friendships with the other Ancients plus a few other people, and rebuilt the old ones he had with the other Beasts. He's... not a hero, no. He never will be again. But he's abandoned his evil ways. He's made peace with himself. He's been reintegrated into society. He's happy. They're happy.

No one approves of them besides Pure Vanilla. Throughout all of this, Spice has been regarded with fear, hatred and suspicion. (He doesn't really care much, to hell with what others think of him.) Though he's improved and some have relaxed around him, for many it's not enough, her friends included. They worry for her safety, for her sanity. She vouches for him, his character and their relationship. Only PV is on her side from the start; he's overjoyed for her, for him, for them. He's happy he's changed, as PV always hoped all the Beasts would. He wishes them well. He hopes for a similar happy future for himself and Shadow Milk. Everyone else comes around eventually, some sooner than others. (Smoked Cheese excluded. They will never be cool)

It's important to note that I came up with this for them because I enjoy exploring morality and redemption and forgiveness, and what that might look like for certain characters. Even if he's become a better man, does Burning Spice really deserve the happy ending he got? Does it undo anything he did? Does a man like that really deserve forgiveness?

The way Burning Spice would answer those questions is... no. No, he doesn't. He's done too much. The blood on his hands will never wash out. Golden Cheese can only forgive him for what he did to her specifically, not for what he did to the world. And he knows he isn't worthy either way. Should he ever die... well, he's certainly not going to Heaven, that's for sure. So he makes peace with it the best he can and just tries to be better. He can't change the past. All he can do is try to make it a decent present. He's not perfect, no. There are some things you'll never get back after living such a cursed life. The Herald of Change is long gone; perhaps he never truly existed in the first place. He can only be Burning Spice, with the weight of all his sins bearing down on his shoulders, and try. Try to do better. For his wife. For his children. For his comrades. For his people. There's nothing else he CAN do. He can never truly fix what he did. He has to live with that forever. But he's still managed to find happiness even with it, and that makes it bearable. And it's all thanks to her, in the end. Her and the kids. They make it all worthwhile.

I'm sorry I wrote a Bible lol. And also probably derailed at least once. I just hope I answered your questions well enough. This is ultimately how Merchant thinks Golden Cheese will get romantic with Burning Spice. The end

[lover-of-mine]

OK so for background to this question. I once complained to you about Tommy ditching Buck at the restaurant. You were fair and set me straight. I always credit you with that to mutuals. Don't even use it since then. This season Tommy wasn't even a character I could really not like because I actually felt sad for him. I mean the writers clearly don't care except to sort of not write great for him. They didn't even try to give him a bit of the Addison treatment from Grey's. It was clear there was so vested interest in him as being around. That brings me to the question for you because I respected your answer last time. But to preface, my pet peeve is when people change their opinions on tropes to excuse behavior. So here goes.

I was ok ignoring him. But let's be real here. If you watched your favorite show that had best friends like Buck and Eddie. Even if you viewed them as platonic and they hey maybe morey if the writers were brave?? But just best friend main characters. Absolutely if a scuzzy ex came back after one had to leave and celebrated them leaving.... Every fan of the show would riot! That actually was probably some of the most toxic writing I have seen that isn't widely acknowledged from the other side

I don't know it just bugs me. It wouldn't have flown under normal circumstances.

Hello again, darling 🫶

They are very clearly using Tommy as minimally as they can, they are giving him just enough development so that he exists. It's hard to form a full opinion on him with only the show to go on, I'm sure that without fandom, I would lowkey feel bad for him because he is kinda like a sad wet cat when you look at it without any fanon-created goggles.

A lot of things that happened in the bucktommy relationship wouldn't have flown under any other circumstances, famously Buck putting Eddie in the hospital being one of them, we all know how that would've gone if it had been Eddie (make the relationship go exactly the way it did but it's Eddie and Tommy, and dear god no one would like Tommy and there would be calls and calls to kill Eddie off), but the fact that people are overlooking the way Tommy was ready to celebrate Eddie leaving is very icky, that's for sure. Like, for me is a redux of the way Natalia thought Buck's death was cool when we spent a few episodes discussing how much that affected everyone around Buck, we spent a healthy amount of the past few episodes establishing that Eddie leaving is bad. It's something that's hurting Buck deeply, so much so that that implication actually triggers Buck. I personally don't think there's a way around it, it's not like Tommy ever explicitly brought up the fact that he was insecure about Eddie's space in Buck's life.

The whole time this relationship is happening, we have been saying that Tommy knows what he's getting into when it comes to Buck and Eddie. The breakup also makes it clear that he knows he can't win this fight, if Buck had to choose, he would choose Eddie. The way that he takes this thing that's been eating at Buck as a win by default so much so that he's willing to joke about it and thinks Buck wouldn't mind is very 😬😬😬. Like, the guy kissed Buck while Buck went on and on about Eddie. He used Chris to calm him down back then. He is weirded out about the way they are in Eddie's house, and he's still going for it. While he has the right to feel insecure, he has no right to actually accuse Buck of having feelings for Eddie and imply their relationship was a competition if he didn't voice the concerns before. He made the choice to date the guy for 6 months, he could've walked away. And he did. But coming back all yay Eddie is gone and expecting Buck to be fine with it is insane behavior. Even in a scenario where you don't think there's more between Buck and Eddie, Eddie is Buck's best friend. No person who truly cared about Buck would celebrate him losing that just because it makes their life easier. I'm with you on that one, it's just another thing people are ignoring in favor of making Tommy the victim of a situation he made a very conscious choice to walk into.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Leads Sister-in-Law! 

Story Masterlist

Chapter 8

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader 

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: panic attack, vomit, self-harm (biting thumb hard enough until it bleeds), slight blood, mention/allusions to murder, very slight suicide  ideation, one (1) suggestive line, implied child abuse, Maria being lowkey creepy (again), uncertainty about loving future kids, please tell me if I missed any.

NOTE: while I am happy that people enjoy this story, please stop blowing up my inbox about when the next chapter(s) will come out. Or telling me I should hurry up.  Thank you.

NOTE #2: there isn't going to be any romance involving Roxana or any of the other characters and the reader.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS/TOXIC ACTIONS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/ BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACTION WITH NOR REBLOG FANDOM STUFF DNI (MAYBE ANIMAL BLOGS ARE OKAY BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE). PLEASE DO NO NOT SPAM LIKE MY POSTS.

= = = 

Roxana’s heels clack against the tiled hallway as she glides through, making way to her room. Blond waves gently swaying with each step, the young girl can’t hold back the scowl that tears at her lips. Brows furrowed, her thoughts were full of the recent events - the dinner. 

She didn’t mean to intrude. As a matter of fact, while curious, she had no intention of doing more than taking a quick glance - to see if what Jeremy said was true, that Dion Agriche was indeed having dinner with his poor, pitiful bride. 

Jeremy got there before her.

Hiding within the shadows, the boy was glaring daggers into the favorite son. So engrossed with the scene presented to him, Jeremy didn’t notice Roxana as she got closer and closer. No, the brash boy had announced himself before she could even pat his shoulder. Like a wild boar, he interrupted your dinner, uncaring for how it made him look. Not that he ever would.

And perhaps out of pity on your behalf, or sick curiosity to see how everything pans out, she showed herself as well. 

An hour prior to the incident Roxana and Jeremy talked about you, the newest family member. She wasn’t the one who brought you up, but rather Jeremy. Her younger half-brother had asked her what she thought about the situation. It was the first time he asked. 

‘Well… It is strange. I thought that father would have waited longer before finding Dion a wife, much less holding the wedding.’ If anything, Roxana had assumed Lant wouldn’t have married him off until he was on his deathbed - an outsider would cause distractions for the rest of the family, no matter who she’s married to.

‘Yeah,’ Jeremy agrees, a borderline sneer on his face, ‘but it’s stupid. She won’t last long.’ 

‘Shorter than a month?’

‘No, longer. But I’m not sure how much longer. Still, to be married to that bastard… She's fucked. Pretty sure she’s begging God to kill her already, or to keep him away and indifferent.’ 

The blond beauty stared at her brother in question. ‘This isn’t like you, Jeremy. Did you meet her before or is it because Dion is the one involved?’ 

He doesn’t answer immediately, grumbling out words she didn’t catch. ‘Watch, she’s going to puke in disgust soon.’ Blue eyes narrowing in annoyance, Roxana only becomes more confused. What’s with this sudden interest with a sacrificial bride? 

‘Jeremy,’ she says, gingerly patting his head, ‘This is the first time you’ve shown interest in anyone. Why is that?’ Asking him directly, she hopes that she’ll easily draw answers from him. But, for once, he doesn’t budge. It’s concerning. 

‘Xana, I heard they’re going to have dinner together later today. Do you think that guy will show up?’ Ignoring her question, he asks his own. A frown tugs at her coral lips. But seeing how aggravated he is, she decides to humor him. Just this once. 

‘I’m not sure. If it was on father’s orders, then yes, of course. His word is law.’ 

‘What makes you so sure he’ll listen to all?’

She blinks at him, taken aback. It wasn’t often she gets rendered speechless, especially by her own younger brother. But his response also amuses her - hearing his resentment towards the twenty-year-old was always amusing.

‘Xana, he’s crazy. It’s only going to get worse.’ He’s not making a lick of sense - It’s not like Dion wanted the marriage. It was just an order given to the obedient soldier. 

Before Roxana could respond, she got called away to Lant’s office, the butler bowing nervously after he brought the news. 

Returning to the present, the blond lets out a deep sigh, a headache forming the longer she thinks about it. This wasn’t how the story went. There wasn’t a grand wedding for any of the Agriche family members - the closest thing was when Jeremy kidnapped Sylvia, and even then, that couldn’t be considered romantic.  

Nothing in the story was romantic. 

…not like her brother’s marriage to you was, either. 

Nothing made sense and it’s bothersome. Concerning even, for the moment you entered this play, she became unsure of when or if Cassis Pedelain will show up - what if nothing follows the storyline at all, no matter how small? She knows he exists, she saw him at the wedding. Shining silver hair that reminds her of the moon and golden eyes that were filled to the brim with caution towards her family and the wedding, the male lead of this story exists. 

But you didn’t. 

Maybe in the original work, you did, as a nameless background character. Faith unknown and unimportant, you somehow stumbled across the stage, entangled in strings that now control your every move. It worries her - you worry her. Roxana can’t tell if you’re friend or foe, if you’ll survive and stay sane, if you’ll die soon, if she should consider taking you under her wing, seeing how you were nothing more than a victim. 

A sacrifice. 

But she doesn’t have that luxury. Ensuring her own survival was hard enough - how could she take care of a second person? Why should she bother herself with you? 

You don’t serve any other purpose than being arm candy, a woman seen as nothing more than an incubator by your father-in-law. She doubts Dion cares for you; during the planning period he didn’t act out of character. He acted the same around her, still the annoying son of a bitch he’s always been. 

…but, a few days before the wedding he kept his distance. Unconcerned with her presence, he made a few last minute purchases. Away from the prying eyes of Lant, Dion also added a secret guest - the doctor known as Ash Katopodis. 

She heard a rumor that he also sent the redhead to you instead of the doctor Lant had appointed behind his back. The fifteen-year-old had found it strange once word reached her ears, brushing it aside after concluding it was gossip for gossip sake. While it was bold of the servants to say such things, Roxana saw no point in punishing them for their senseless rumors - it had nothing to do with her. If they wanted to play with their lives with risky talk, then that was on them.

Upon reaching her room, she stops short of opening the door, manicured nails tapping against the door handle. She didn’t mean to intrude on your alone time with the brute. Yet she did and the sight of Dion in such a domestic setting made her sick. 

Disgust threatening to tip over the scale, it’s hard for her not to sneer at the mere memory of it. Domesticity does not suit Dion. He does not deserve it. Playing house with an unwilling girl, dressed in pure white as the veil hid her anxiety and fright laid within her eyes and painted on her lips. Scared and left hopeless as her family watched as she kissed the monster, powerless.

Your parents didn’t exactly look thrilled during the wedding. She remembers the way your father halted before handing you over to his new son-in-law.

The holy church in which the wedding was held became corrupted when the second Lant Agriche picked it out, Maria fussing over the details. Who sits where, ‘gently’ probing your mother into agreeing with the dress the third wife had picked, your makeup and hairstyle, the fucking lingerie until Sierra pointed out how weird it was for the mother-in-law to pick out such an erotic and intimate thing for the girl who was to be her daughter-in-law. 

During the ceremony, Jeremy had kept mumbling to himself, clearly done with the whole ordeal. Obviously, Roxana was as well, but kept a pretty smile on, greeting you after the vows were said and said her goodbyes as you were dragged away to the bridal chamber. Only to find out the next morning by Emily that you didn’t go there, instead led into the lion’s den that is Dion’s room.

How… odd. 

No… what was odder was that you didn’t have separate rooms. Emily had told her as such out of the blue, preparing her breakfast. She questioned it then, and it’s only weirder, more worrisome the longer she thinks about it.

She shakes the memories away. It wasn’t her life. She had enough trouble on her plate already - she couldn’t possibly add you to the list of her neverending responsibilities she’s forced to juggle. She could pity you, but never love you. Touch you but never hold you. Talk to you but never make a genuine connection as sisters should. 

She should stop with this foolish nonsense. 

Turning the handle, she glides right in, letting the door shut behind her. Emily had retired for the night, and the blond also ordered Hana to do the same. After all, Lant had given Dion another mission, and the favorite son had to prepare to leave in the morning, too busy to bother you. 

… why am I so focused on her…?

The moonlight lights up her room through the glass doors that lead to the terrace. With a huff, she sits in her vanity, and starts to remove her makeup with removal cream. It’s greasy as her dainty fingers spread it across her face, each action copied by the mirror. It’s quiet.

Her thoughts refuse to shut up, however. 

‘What’s going on with Lant…? Choosing a daughter-in-law from a nearly unheard of family? Do they have something he wants and only used this marriage  as a means to get closer? Most likely, but why? Not to mention Dion’s behavior right before the wedding…

A frown tugs at her lips, face completely bare after she pats it down with a face towel. Ruby eyes stare into the reflection before her, and Roxana only sees frustration and confusion. She can’t rely on her memories of the story anymore. 

She won’t be sure until the faithful day when her father kidnaps Cassis Pedelian, the Blue Heir. And even then, how could she be sure that it would be the same Cassis Pedelain that was mentioned in the novel? The same goes for his sister, Sylvia. 

“...things are getting complicated.” Standing, her feet take her to the bed and she lays on it, back pressed against the mattress. The crystal chandelier sparkles in the moonlight. Ruby optics disappear behind her eyelids, blond lashes casting shadows on smooth skin. The night is still young. 

A small smile of amusement forms on her lips when she remembers your earlier conversation. You had called her an interesting person - far from what others say. They called her lovely, a Goddess of beauty - and you? 

You called her interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide the admiration for her in your eyes. You weren’t a stumbling fool and understood what her look meant when Jeremy went too far. But the most fascinating thing?

You listened to mental caution and drew a line, uncomfortable with her, with them, the gears turning in your head on what to do next. You even separated yourself from her without hesitation once the moment presented itself.

Regardless, you admired her in spite of your clear discomfort. 

“...I must be tired.” 

You called her an interesting person. In return, she’ll call you a fool. 

- - -

His side of the bed was cold, patting it as your bleary eyes and murky mind clear up. Still half-dressed, you ignore how uncomfortable it is. No, right now, what you are focused on is the way your beating heart is thrashing against your rib cage, how cold your body has become, beads of sweat building and rolling down your temples, on the verge of gasping for air. Did you just fuck yourself over? 

You don’t know what time it was - the sun was high in the bright, blue sky, birds singing their lovely tunes. The occasional footsteps passing by, the far off voices as the servants go about their business. None of them knock on the door. None come to ‘wake’ you up.

Or, if they had, it must have been a good while ago. Were you so deep asleep that they gave up?

“...He’s going to kill me, isn’t he… hah…” A humorless laugh passes through your chest, shoulders slumping as nothing but regret fills your head and chest. Are you going to be killed today? Or maybe tortured? Thrown out like disgusting leftovers? 

You don’t want to die. Ah, but what could you possibly do? Get on your hands and knees like a dog and beg for forgiveness? …no. You’re already pathetic enough, you don’t want to lower yourself even more. Fuck. 

“...Ah, fuck, what should I do?” Putting your thumb sideways in your mouth, your teeth clamp down on the poor digit. The taste of iron explodes in your mouth, teeth marks left behind on the now wounded and bleeding flesh. 

A throbbing headache decides to join, adding physical pain to the list of your suffering. You bite down on your thumb harder. It feels like it might just snap in two but your mind is too fried to realize this. The only thing you can think about is last night. 

Your husband was gone. Where did he go? Maybe he decided to leave you, seeing you as a broken toy he doesn’t want anymore. Does that mean he’ll give the least back to Lant? Is that why he isn’t here? To discuss how to dispose of you? 

The thought makes your stomach churn, saliva glands overfilling as bile starts to raise. You were given to them as a pet - as some twisted sacrifice, and for what? Did this family want nothing else but a new ‘toy,’ to see how long a normal person would last within these walls? What then?

If they decide to kill you, or if you kill yourself out of desperation, what would they tell your parents? No, they wouldn’t tell them anything to begin with. 

And your family wouldn’t be able to ask.

“Urk…” dry heaving, slapping your hand over your mouth, panicked tears forming. Your entire body shakes, blood staining the bed as your injured hand grasps at the sheets. “URK!” Without a thought you rush out of bed, slamming yourself down on your knees as you reach the trash can. All of your stomach continents come up, the foul taste of vomit coming forth. Your vision burns white before returning.

Hot tears run down your cheeks as you heave over the trash, blurring your vision. You’re breathing too heavily. You look at the door a few feet away from you. If anyone was right outside it, they would have heard you. 

“...” You wait for a knock or for someone to burst through the doors with bated breath, your eyes shaking in their sockets, knees throbbing after the harsh impact. No-one comes. It is only you - alone in this room, a sinner who is paying the price. Must you go through this for a sin you’ve forgotten until now? 

The answer is yes. 

The answer is yes as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. The answer is yes as you force yourself to stand, knees painfully throbbing as the flesh bruises. The answer is yes as your thumb still bleeds, teeth marks engraved into the skin. The answer is yes as your heart refuses to calm down, chest hurting. 

The answer is yes as you walk over to the vanity, the reflection of a face that doesn’t look like your own. 

You are a mess. 

You are frail.

The tears don’t stop flowing as the urge to vomit returns. Crystalline droplets catch on your lashes, ugly sobs and hiccups breaking out, your shoulders shaking as you collapse onto the leather stool seat. A sinner always pays the price. 

You bury your face into your hands, entire body jerking with each sob, each hiccup as anxiety for the future and present overtakes everything. This isn’t like you. But you were never strong enough to survive in an environment like this. You were pathetic. 

Seconds turn into minutes and maybe even into hours. Time is a concept that you don’t bother yourself with by the time you finally calm down, red puffy eyes staring into the mirror as the tear streaks dry on your cheeks. Some snot peeks out from your nostril, hair a mess, clothes crumbled and sliding down, showing more of your cleavage. Such an unsightly sight. 

Would he be amused with this? Snicker and degrade you as he reveals last night was a test and that you had failed?

Grabbing a face towel on the vanity desk, you wipe off the tears and snot.

“...Okay. Let’s… get cleaned up.” Your limbs feel heavy, dragging your feet towards the closet before finally, finally striping out of your clothes from yesterday. The articles of clothing pools at your feet. 

How much longer can I last here? 

Will there ever be a peaceful divorce? Can I divorce him? Would I be able to?

If the story events do take place and Roxana takes over the Agriche family… by then… would I have children…?

BAM!

Your poor knees-! At the thought of having children - his children - your body just gives up again, as always. That’s the only thing you’re capable of, as experience has shown. 

“...children… right, children… I have to give birth to that man’s children… children that will go through the same thing he went through…” Will you be able to love them, if they come into existence? You have to, they would be yours.

Or would you end up just like Jeremy’s mother? Horrified at the sight of her own child, refusing to spend time with them. Seeing them as an irredeemable monster that you would do anything and everything to avoid?

Chomp

Your thumb once again becomes a victim to your teeth, the imprint becoming deeper and drawing more blood.  It hurts, it hurts, it hurts- but as the thought of starting a family with Dion Agriche deepens, the more you need to find something sturdy. Your thumb is enough to keep you grounded, yes, it is, and no, you’re not planning an early funeral, visualizing the area you want to hold it, or the dress your cold corpse would wear, or your family’s crying faces -

No, stop it. This isn’t - this isn’t… this isn’t what I want to be.

 Licking the flesh wound, accepting the taste and smell of iron, you are not met with clarity nor bravery; just, temporary acceptance. This is your life. This was what the Gods had planned for you. This is what you have become - a wife to the future Black Agriche Heir. 

His first wife.

Despite the blood and saliva, your mouth feels dry. Nausea builds back up, gagging and breath becoming short. It’s becoming hard to breathe. 

Your lungs are being squeezed, throat constricted with an invisible ball gag - vision blurred with what? What’s this hot liquid running down your cheeks? Are you crying ? Again?

Something is choking you. Your head is starting to feel fuzzy, a pounding in your chest you can’t get. Everything is warped, shapes turning into mush, black merging with white, a hammer bashing against your head. Only the sound of rushing blood and a running heart is heard. Only the thought of death remains. 

Only the fact you’re now a wife, a member of Agriche Black stays.

“No…no, I - I - this-!” You curl into yourself, kneeling as your forehead touches the floor, hands interlocked around your head as your lower arms and elbows rest on the tiles. Sobbing violently, your mind crashes again. You were never strong. 

Not then, not now. 

- - -

“Young master Dion has been sent off on an errand; the dinner with Master Lant has been postponed until tomorrow, at six o’clock.” Hana informs you as she sets out your breakfast: oatmeal and water. Just what your now very sensitive stomach and nerves need. Did she overhear your little mental breakdown not even an hour ago? Or was this the usual breakfast for the residents of the Agriche compound? 

“I see.” You hoarsely reply, voice still recovering. This is a good thing - you don’t have to see the devil’s face for yet another day. Her news also answers your question; Dion is out on an errand and they weren’t planning to axe you. Yet. Hopefully never. 

Still, the curiosity of your husband’s duties lingers. You shouldn’t involve yourself anymore than what you currently are. Curiosity always kills the cat. So, you bite your tongue, deciding against asking her what your oh so lovely husband’s chore is… but, if you are to play the role as a wife, his wife, should you ask him once he returns? Like how one would greet their spouse once they return from work. 

Hello dear… ick, no. Hey, how was your day… no, next. Are you tired? Do you want a bath…?

Hana witnesses how you cringe but remains silent. Unaware of this, you continue to think of possible things to say, possible ways to greet him.

…or maybe you should just ignore the subject altogether. His business isn’t yours, so why bother?

Besides, what if he doesn’t like you ‘snooping’ in his business? But at the same time, he’s been acting so weird and unlike how he was portrayed in the story. So while that Dion would find your questions annoying or useless, this Dion may want you to ask about his day. Fuck, it’s all so confusing and irritating 

 “Hm. Hana, is there anything on today’s schedule?” 

“No, not yet my lady.” 

Not yet. What does she mean by not yet? Does that mean she’s aware that someone will interrupt your tiny bit of peace at some point today? Her short dark brown hair slightly bounces as she shuffles her weight onto one leg. “However, my lady, I could… tell them that you’re recovering from ‘last night.’”

Her suggestion makes your grip on the cup loose, dropping the glass onto your lap as water soaks it. 

“My lady! Are you alright?” In a panic, Hana grabs some of the napkins on the table and pats your lap to soak up some of the water after removing the now empty glass. “My apologies - I shouldn’t have brought up such a vulgar suggestion…” Her once collected face and behavior shatters at the drop of a hat, ‘concerned’ about your safety. 

Or was it for hers? 

“I-it’s fine… no worries,” your tight lipped smile only makes her brows furrow more and treats you gentler. Like you were made of glass. Well, that wouldn’t be too far from the truth… 

“No, really. I just need to change clothes…” Once she’s done with soaking most of the water up you stand and walk to the closet. Opening the doors you skim over the options. Hana’s footsteps stop right behind you. Why is it so hard to have personal space in this place…

Your gaze travels upwards and for the first time, do you notice the Agriche family's crest engraved into the wood. Bitterness explodes in your mouth. It seems that no matter where you are in this place, there will always be a physical reminder of where you are - of who you belong to. No matter, you tell yourself. Besides, this isn’t even your room.

It was your husband’s. And maybe after a month, if not less, into your marriage, you’ll be assigned your own. …why were you sharing a room with him to begin with? Probably to increase the chances of conceiving a child sooner rather than later. 

“... does that even make sense?” You murmur in amusement. Lant wasn’t even dead yet. But, you think, maybe he wanted his son to have a child so he could start to shape them into this tainted and sadistic mold ahead of time before he kicks the bucket. To ensure that the child - your child - would follow in their father’s footsteps. 

To see if they would carry the same air and expectations as your husband does. 

How cruel. 

“Hana, I’ll let you choose it; they’re all so… beautiful that I can’t choose.” In reality you’re getting a headache from looking at the family crest. Which just became yours. 

“...yes, my Lady,” she follows your order without question, going through the options. 

Not even a few minutes later she pulls one out. 

It matches your husband’s eyes. A brilliant shade of scarlet, it practically glows. A sheer black neck piece that forms as a choker and covers your cleavage but leaves your shoulders bare. Black lace is on the hem, flowers engraved into the pattern. The body of the dress is a solid scarlet. 

“It’s beautiful.” You compliment her choice of style hiding how the beautiful piece of clothing makes your fingers twitch and brings the urge to vomit forward. Oh, how horrible it is, to not even be able to enjoy such a sight. 

How horrible it is, to be born into this world after a helpless first life, a God’s mercy forgotten.

[fruitgummies01]

New Here!

As a new fan of BTS and as someone who is curious/intrigued by the dynamic between jikook, I would genuinely love to know how the fans got to the place where it is now with the ships within the fandom. It's so toxic everywhere, and I'm a little shocked to be honest. I thought Are You Sure would be a cute show that the fandom would be excited to watch, but a lot of fans ignored it when the first two episodes were released (which in hindsight was probably for the best). And since the last episode dropped, there's been nothing but fighting.

For context I became a BTS fan in 2023 and so I don't really know all the history of every interaction prior (I'm still learning). I love every member and root for their success both individually and together as a team. As someone who is just learning about everything (I've been obsessively consuming all BTS content), and when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook's connection, I've seen some of the discourse about them online. To be fair I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other, since again I'm pretty new here, I'm trying to take content at face value. But after the first two episodes of Are You Sure, it feels obvious to me that there is an intimacy there between them. Even in episode three, JK can be seen rubbing Jimin's thigh when they are at the table, something that just looked automatic and natural for him to do. From all their earlier conversations in the first two episodes, to taking care of each other since they were both sick, to the concern, to Jungkook's "you're here. finally". Even though they were filming, it all just felt really real and honest. Plus Jungkook saying he wanted the show to go on for years even after they get out of the military, said more to me than anything else. Jungkook values spending time with Jimin and is already looking towards the future, just the two of them.

As for Taekook, it definitely seems to be the more widely accepted ship (I see so many accounts with hundreds of thousands of likes and followers on so many platforms). Plus there are so many taekook comments under pretty much any content related to BTS, even under content from people who are just reacting to BTS content on youtube or patreon. For all intents and purposes Jungkook and Tae seem to have a beautiful friendship, but I just don't see how people romantically ship them (no offense lol). And it's not because I don't see a connection between them, but because I just don't see how it would make much sense, and I'd want so much more for them from a partner lol. Like what would it say about their relationship if Tae was learning about JK traveling with someone else through a schedule on their BTS group chat, or having to basically invite himself, or how the last group live where JK seemed hyper-focused on Jimin (even though he was already planning to enlist with him), or JK watching hours of Jimin specific content on lives, or planning a travel variety show with someone who you were already planning to enlist/spend every day with, or being all over someone else in bed and repeatedly rubbing their legs (bandmate or not). Like no shade, but I feel like romantically shipping Tae and JK is lowkey insulting to them as people, because they both deserve to a be priority to whoever they are in a relationship with. Also a little confused how fans seem to ignore Tae having been in a relationship with Jennie??

All my confusion aside, I am just really looking forward to watching the rest of Are You Sure, and discovering more about them and their dynamic. I love that Tae joined, even if it clearly shifted the dynamic from the first two episodes, and hopefully all the negativity suddenly surrounding the show won't ruin my excitement and love for it.

[makib1tch]

ummm all of them 😅

OKAY OKAY THISLL BE LONG BUT ILL TRY

the character everyone gets wrong : Alnst Luka. LIKE I GET THAT PEOPLE DONT LIKE HIM BUT HE ISNT THE VILLAIN. THE ALIENS ARE THE FUCKING VILLAINS. Like I lowkey feel like he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong. Like he wants to survive. Thats how the alien taught him too. DONT GET ME STARTED ILL RAMBLE WAY TOO FUCKIN MUCH

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: uhhh my fav is Aventurine and I see him as a switch sooooo….idk 🥲🥲🥲🥲.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr : uuuuuuh idk sorry

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? : idk if it counts but like I had a friend I vented to her and told her I $h and she started to insult me and yea I was having a panic attack and blocked her

worst discord server and why : I’m never on discord so idk

which ship fans are the most annoying? Not all of them (I sometimes ship it too) but aventio/ratiorine/call them what u want idc. Like. There are ratiorine shippers who are like "OOOOHOOHH AVENTURINE IS SUCH A HORNY BOTTOM WHOREEE AND RATIO IS A HORNY DOM EUZKZKALALAL" and then they go and ruin the entire fucking characters. Like I like the ship when it’s done right. When they respect the fuckin characters. Not when they ship them out of pure horniness. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. Oh and it’s the same for Ruikasa (pjsk) shippers.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? : I used to hate Ratio. Because of the weird ratiorine shippers.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about : THAT LUKA FROM

ALNST IS THE VILLAIN

worst part of canon : idkidkkdk

worst part of fanon : idk too sorry im shit at ask games

number of fandom-related words you've filtered : none

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them : Alnst Luka. Again with him. HES SUCH A FUCKIN INTERESTING AND COMPLEX CHARACTER ILOVE HIM

worst blorboficiation : the fuck is that?

that one thing you see in fics all the time : in x reader like "you have blue eyes and black hair" THEN NO THATS NOT AN X READER

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: aaaaaahh idkk I see way too much fanarts everyday

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) : Hyuna x Luka. I don’t understand. They’re so toxic like

there should be more of this type of fic/art: anyone comforting aventurine. My baby needs comfort. I love him. I want to hug him

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... : i don’t think people have been sleeping on but idk she still doesn’t get enough credit everyone go read @aventurineswife ‘s fics they’re so fuckin good.

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... : those x reader fics that are written out of straight up horniness. They be having the most obscene and devious devilish things.

part of canon you found tedious or boring : the whole xianzhou luofu quest ig. Expect for Tingyun I love her. But like idk I was kinda bored in it. Maybe it’s just me idk

part of canon you think is overhyped : Himekos death in csm. Like I saw people being super sad but like…idk. I didnt feel sad for her. I felt bad for Aki since he was sad yeah. But Himeko like her death didn’t do anything for me.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores : AAAAAAAH IDK IM SORRY

ship you've unwillingly come around to : Ratiorine, I used to hate it. Now I like it. (I’m not sure I understood the question lmao)

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse : The hospital scene in the End of Evangelion. I don’t have to explain. I think just no one should talk about it.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing : "Denji is a dumb pervert."

OK FINALLY FINISHED I TOOK WAY TOO FUCKIN LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I’m shit at ask games sorry lmao

[esoterichistoria]

Confession: I feel like lennabel is lowkey the weakest part of the comic. Yes its the selling point and the focus and everything but everything else like the misfits/lenores friendships, the spectres, all the side characters and backstories (especially lenores), the history of the school/where they are all way more interesting. And then oh heres another y/a "toxic but not actually because uhhh its hawt" ship. They have a secret conversation about the game or fodder or whatever. Or their "history" which is lenore forced to hang out with her and then being left with a bunch of insults? With lenore and her friends we see them grow and bond together but with lennbel they just hug or kiss or something. Why does lenore like annabel? Because...pretty? Because she gets all in lenores face? She always ignores what lenore has to say and literally tried to kill her friend without telling her. Like every other aspect of the comic is super neat and intriguing but The Ship is whatever. If lenore could just seriously break it off with her after what happened it wouldn't drag the story down anymore but it wont both cause spoilers and cause its what the whole marketing of the comic is.

I might get attacked for this, but I’m starting to ship Lennabel less and less as the comic progresses (Funny coming from a Mourn pfp), I enjoy them as individual characters and seeing their relationship progress but they’re not my “ship type”. It also seems like things aren’t going to end well for them, given that this a gothic story and their views are too different from each others.

I would also like to know more about the other characters and the setting as a whole, especially the deans (I love eldritch horror).

I think it’s fair to say that the reason we probably aren’t seeing more is because we are approaching a climax. As a writer myself, I feel like we are approaching something big that will reveal a few questions we might have about the academy and such.

This comic was sold as a “gothic sapphic horror romance” so that’s why its ship focused, but I really would like to see Lenore’s relationship with the misfits get stronger, and for Annabel to hopefully make a friend outside of Lenore.

I think it’s safe to say to just wait and see what will happen.

What are all of your opinions on this?

Edit: I just want to mention that I never said I hated White Raven, it’s just not my “ship type” but their relationship is interesting and I would like to see how their story progresses. Yes, I know that it’s a romance story. I guess I just don’t like how the fandom goes insane about them and is quick to hate on the other characters for “getting in the way”.

[tonirollie]

Hey dude remember that Anti bnb/Genshin lover?

Well ya might want to buckle up because I'm going to a whole ass rant so anyways-

One of her post is her defending V*ziepop and saying us hater has intrusive thoughts and calling the Hazbin/Helluva haters and bnb fans the bad guys and other dumb bullshit like I'm not sorry that I have an FUCKIN OPINION DIFFERENT FROM YOU ASSHOLES but if people like a mod that was made by a problematic creator but don't his support their actions, WE'RE THE PROBLEM?? But you support someone who has done MUCH WORSE SHIT YOU SUDDENLY IGNORE THAT?

Honestly I'm losing faith on the fandom and humanity as a whole, and people like them WAS MY REASON I LEFT THAT TOXIC HELLHOLE OF FANDOM.

Sorry, I honestly needed to get that out. So I deeply apologize if I made you uncomfortable about it./srs

oh....them-? ick.......

yeah i read through some of their posts and goddamn it made me wanna bang my head against the wall istf- :/

i just think it's kinda funny and hypocritical because how are they gonna get mad at bnb fans for supporting an fnf mod and not support the creator , but support somebody who's abusive , racist , transphobic , scammed hundreds of fans and wont adress the horrible shit her cult like fandom did , AND BE FULLY AWARE OF IT!

and not to mention this person defended israel JUST because mcdonald's collabed with genshin <3

i lowkey feel so bad for the sane genshin fans , and the hazbin / helluva fans that are actually chill , dont support vivziepop and can handle criticism cause they gotta deal with all these fucks 💀

[badgalsasuke]

kinda wanna have a long rant here cause it feels cathartic so i hope you don't mind. ignore this if you feel annoyed. may be a bit controversial.

i think twitter sns are mainly vain and shallow. tiktok sns barely read the manga. tumblr sns have all the smart meta blogs but there are also a lot of the edgy wannabe communists who annoyed me too much sometimes especially since naruto (the character) is my og fave all the way since i was a kid so i take offense in the way he's constantly bashed around these circles. like yes i get it he grow up to be a bootlicker he's a neoliberal all of this is bad etc etc and all of the criticism of these are warranted but sometimes its just too much that idgaf sorry.

before the fake wokes get all fired up i'm literally from a SEA country that was colonized by japan and my country had a history of violent persecution where over 1 million of its revolutionary left party members were hunted down, imprisoned, and killed. i myself used to be active in researches concerning preserving history of these but anyways. the point is i know these things are serious but at the end of the day naruto is fiction? sure it'd be great if there was a proper politically correct resolution for all the bad things that happen in the show, centering justice and retribution etc etc but at the end of the day the story kishi wants to tell is not that. he's a liberal pacifist and assimilationist whose core value in his manga are all about peace forgiveness cooperation etc etc. naruto's character is deeply intertwined with this since he's the MC and supposed to be the voice of reason so i can see why some people might get fed up what with his constant preaching in his talk no jutsus and all. i personally liked him because of his personal ability to empathize and make bonds in spite of his loneliness but anyways thats also beside the point.

i just think that these fans who are super pissed that things didn't go the way they want should find other media that centers more on those justice themes they like so much, like idk, maybe death note or aot. i don't read any other manga.

most of these stans always being negative and complaining every damn day about everything, insulting everything about the media they claim to hate yet STILL having a fan account dedicated to it where they just hate on it all the time is so 💀💀. like, i consider myself a leftist as well and when i want to enjoy a good communist media I'd watch soviet films from the 60s and not obsessively latching on to a shounen manga written by a liberal and then gets pissed when the author doesn't share the same values as me.

i became obsessed with naruto because the writing of the batshit insane deranged toxic doomed homoerotic twin-flame-like relation was GOOD between sns and that's what i'm here for. but i think the polemic and polarization of this massive fandom is just too much for me. i don't know how you deal with it being in this fandom for so long. I've only peeked around for about a month and i'm already fed up. i used to not really interact with popular mainstream media exactly for this reason. no matter how i see it it's true that many of the Sasuke/Uchiha centric sns fans in here does lowkey hate naruto and are mutuals with naruto antis and it just gave me the final kick to not want to interact much with all of these crowd sorry. the ship still 10/10 and will always be top tier tho.

Hey anon!

I really have nothing to add other than I don’t like Twitter and TikTok SNS fandoms either LMAOO

[cyberspookviv]

my experience with the hazbin/helluva hatedom and how I continued to hate myself from there on TW: vent/s*icide/problematic stuff

I guess I was lowkey kinda young when I found out about Hazbin/helluva (around 2023 and I am a minor around 12-18) I know i shouldn’t be watching that shit and considering how bad the fandom is now with kids I feel guilty but it wasn’t that “big” back then I didn’t like it at first but then I tried it some more there was too many cursing it kinda made me scared for once and a while but I sorta liked it? Maybe because it was my first experience with violent content? Idk ajsjdj

yet little did I know that it would be considered one of the most hated fanabases I seen in my entire life

I guess it was a primary fandom I was really into as embarrassing as it I just fell in love with the characters and lore a little “too fast” this was such a fun fandom to make aus and theories because of how fun the lore was it wasn’t good at all but atleast I had “fun” right? Sometimes now I thinking about it I was too obsessed with it and hell I was so distracted by all the fun stuff about it that I forgot about the criticism in the first place i wasn’t immune I tried to take it by watching videos online but it was….. harsh…. And shit hell sometimes I was kinda immune bc I still needed to continue most of hb lol but…I guess it got to a point where it felt…kinda bad maybe “too” flawed so I got scared I had experience with my interests being despised before and I didn’t want the same to happen again so I tried to defend it and that’s where the creator….comes in…..

.

I thought her imagination was…fascinating she had such passion and thought behind her shows…that she became… my role model…. So I tried to defend her…but tbh nobody really seemed to like her I tried sticking to people who defended her like ayy lmao

but then I realized about the stuff she did…

It make me look like a damn fool…

and what’s even worse people who defended her were called “dick riders” I then started seeing hate around her “with the written by vivziepop jokes” and the controversies on Twitter

I got anxious…. But at the end she was a bad person right…just separate art from the artist

but nobody liked the art either

Hazbin finally came out and there’s was either love or hate and tbh I got really back into Hazbin bc of the release of it being on “prime” but I knew something didn’t feel right I went on Twitter a lot “too much” actually and i discovered these rumors about her and if I defended these rumors about such terrible things I would just look like such a stupid pathetic dick sucking retard so I forced myself to hate her either way so I forced myself to go online and read “hh/hb critical” content but then I began to hate myself even more they painted her as such a terrible person but i agreed anyway because it was the “truth” but then again she was my idol…my role model….i got so anxious and I never even gave a damn about the shows writing making it even worse when it came to criticism it was noticeable in the show but I choosed the ignore it and when I saw ppl complaining online I felt like a complete pathetic asshole for liking it and what’s worse they would say shit like “she’s manipulative and narcissistic and her fans are nothing but dick riders that are thoughtless and can’t take criticism and deserve to die in a fucking fire” it made me want to absolutely k*ll myself and made me feel like i wasn’t worth living

THIS SHIT FUCKING EXPLAINS IT ALL

I wanted to talk to somebody or a therapist desperately about this but I loved her and her shows so either way my behavior was fucking creepy making me hate myself even more because my story was never “valid”

so I just ran away

I’m doing better now….i still miss the shows tho even though most people call it “toxic” for supporting a “horrible” person but still have that charm when i see it or see posts about it it makes me remember how “happy” i use to watch it and the fact that i had to ran away a join better fandoms that were accepted by people and wouldn’t make me feel ashamed and wanting to end my life i just finally…finally decided to share this post now despite how controversial it may get i might honestly get death threats or hate comments tbh lol

but I just want some people to know out there about my experience because I just desperately need a heartwarming comment right now to make sure that I’m not alone please…I just wanted to have fun I’m doing better now…. I just want everything and I mean EVERYTHING to be ok…

I just want to be accepted…..

.

[elvendorx]

Can I ask you to talk more about ‘house in the woods’? I loooove toxic Jily like that’s the only version of them that compels me. I also love and have spoken a lot about how Jily compares to prongsfoot so I’d love to hear your thoughts on it

yeeeees it's the best version of them! i like it even more than like bickering friends at the mo. i've avoided jily for so long but i'd read 10000 jily divorce fics. they would both be so snappy and childish and having to have the last word. impeccable dynamic.

house in the woods is called that because i think it started from scene i had of lily always wanting a nice cottage, a cute little house in the woods, and then when she gets this isolated house and lifestyle, it's the cruelest iteration of her childhood fantasy and she realises that this domestic vision is not really what she wants at all. a lot of it i think will be lily's idealism slowly wilting but i also want to kind of weave in lowkey fairytale witch allusions. one thing i've recently thought of for this fic is lily sort of spying on james and sirius, coming up with charms to try and listen in on their conversations (because at some point in sirius' visits they lock themselves away) so there's this sense of lily like lurking

it's probably also going to be a lot about loneliness :( i think it will be about how being with james all the time and only seeing james in the house without sirius, and then seeing james in the house with sirius and the difference between those two situations will maybe make her feel like she never knew james that well, or she never saw his relationship with sirius in such stark contrast to her relationship with james and it's all these small moments leading up to (whether she perceives it romantically or not) that sirius is james' #1 and where the hell does that leave her?

i haven't written from lily's pov before which feels mad because she was a big original fave of mine but i'm loving getting into who she is and i also LOVE james and sirius from a third party's pov

ultimately jily vs j/s is no real comparison to me. firstly from a canon standpoint we just know so much more about james and sirius' bond. i started out reading jily when i got into hp fandom but there was just so much about james/sirius that i couldn't ignore. like when you think about how james and lily's started going out in their seventh year (1977) and died in 1981 that's four years from start to finish, whereas james and sirius have ten years of history by that point. and i know that time isn't always comparable but given what we know about the intensity of james and sirius' friendship, in this case i think it counts for a lot. and i think that james would always choose sirius first, always trust sirius at most. i don't really think there's anything that could unbolt that bond or surpass it. not that spouses and friends ever have to be in competition but..........sirius wins, i'm just saying.

anyway i haven't been on tumblr much recently because i've had deadlines and stuff but i'll have to catch up on your jily posts!

[sillylittlelemon]

HELLO!! ok sorry I’m not sure if ur still doing match ups so u can just ignore this if u want but could I get a saiki k and a hazbin hotel matchup <33

- I’m a certified yapper and I will ramble on about my interests for hours

- Im a big people pleaser and I try my best to make everyone around me feel comfortable and appreciated

- I tend to tolerate toxic behaviour just to avoid abandonment

- Im a romcom enthusiast and a bit of a film buff

- I like loads of music and singers but lately I’ve been loving my bloody valentine , salvia palth , alex g and Tyler the creator.

- My love languages are probably acts of service and physical touch.

- My humour is kinda all over the place and Im a sucker for dad jokes and well thought out dirty jokes

- I’m a hopeless romantic and I would probably fall head over heels for anyone who shows the slightest amount of interest in me

Okay- i wasnt sure about your sexuality (or gender) so ill do short headcannons for two characters i think youd fit with (seperatly not poly)

Sorry to my other requests im working as i go- right now tumblr is a passion project so ive gotta feel like- i dunno 'the spark' to actually get it done, but i promiseim trying

ALSO just a warning to anyone who reads/requests saiki k stuff, its been a bit sincei watched the show and also i donthave anywhere ican watch it currently so characters areprobably atleast a little ooc

This chick-

(I make a vauge reference to a little spice in her part but nothing explicit or bad)

And this guy-

YES. I know they have totally different vibes but hear me out.

He gives such 'im a big tough guy, but please love me in secret and call me your favorite boy'

she gives such 'im a brat but im your brat and actually i just want love and attention because i look like i would have major mommy issues'

And i dunno it just works

He would def be a cuddle bug once the walls are down and yall have bonded more and your in private(read: MUST be in private bc bb boy is defensive and dont f with pda), i feel like hes the type to hold you on his chest and rub your back (yall are laying on his/your couch or bed) and when he thinks your asleep he starts murmuring under his breath about how he's so glad you got past his walls- about how it means so much to him that you put up with his bs. This def lead to you pretending to be asleep more often so you can hear in words how he really feels, because lets be honest, words dont always equal feelings, and sometimes (i.e most times) he doesnt say it how he means it.

Now HER on the other hand-

All. Over. You.

Like..

Lowkey her?

Shes just so happy to HAVE you, right? Like- soulmates or not, youre hers. She adores you. Worships the ground you walk on, praises you breathless in more ways than one. Shes so confident- like... even if she isnt ACTUALLY, she portrays it so well, and she Hypes. You. Up. 24/7, 365. No matter if youre short, tall, heavy, skinny, freckled, dark, pale, or anywhere in between. She is making sure everyone knows youre her girl (or boy or whatever but based on your sentence structure im guessing female?) [NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSE I SWEAR I JUST IMAGINED YOU BEING FEMALE?] -oh god im gunna get cancelled-

N-E-Ways

Same here but itll be just generally better bc im more caught up with this fandom lol

He is this

But he wants to be this so bad

Sir precious for my darling precious

And

His love lmao

Sir Precious is 100% angel material (take that sera you bitch 🤟😝) He's just.... precious. Lmao. We've seen how flustered he gets with Cherry and imagine that but like- in an ACTUAL relationship with pda and shit. Like- stuttering, panicking, but also completely soothed by the hand currently resting in his? So many conflicting emotions, y'knowwww... he might need a kiss to get his head straight? Or maybe two? Hmmm, no that didnt work- lets try three, third times a charm right? *cue pentious sly+nervous smile* Would 100% bury his face in your tits/chest (under much encouragement and reassurance even more now that his minions spill the tea that hes been talking in his sleep about this very moment)

-can we talk about the smooth bass in the finale?-

-poor husk, man was singing and smiling like his soul was free-

Why do i feel like this is right up her alley?

Onto Miss Bomb,

She's a lot more brash in her affections. Not afraid to tug you down to her level and suck your soul out through your lips. Def had an emo phase when she was alive (if shes not still in it) She just.. loves you. Like her and angel you guys bicker, but i feel like while youre bickering she has her chin resting on your chest/tits, staring up at you with the slyest smirk and biggest heart eyes known to demon AND man kind.

[legolasghosty]

Choosing violence: 4, 12, 16, 19

Hehehe thank youuu!

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? Uhhh... I'm not sure I have anyone from the fandom blocked tbh... My blocked list is mostly bots lol. Last straw for unfollowing someone from fandom though was basically them being super toxic about new fantoms getting interested in the og characters and ships. It was not cool.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

See my first thought was Carrie but I feel like a lot of the fandom has come around to her now. I will say I hate how Nick often gets written off as attention seeking or gets written as someone's toxic ex and nothing more. Cause like. He's a teenager! Of course he does some kinda dumb things, like have an on again off again relationship with the popular girl! The kid is 15! Quit making him out to be this toxic and manipulative jerk!

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I don't get why so many people just automatically make Julie the mom of the band. Like. Yes she does take care of them in lots of ways, but THEY TAKE CARE OF HER TOO! Plus, she's literally younger than them, and (as stated in the previous one) LITERALLY 15!!! She does so much stupid stuff! I love her dearly, but I love all the parts of her, not just the parental parts. Let Julie be a Teenager Challenge!

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I mean outside of my religious trauma surrounding the experience of pleasure or happiness from anything even remotely sexual, I lowkey hate how much I love soulmate aus tbh. Cause like. The general concept and how it's often written is so fricking allo-centric and ignores the fact that some people just don't feel romantic/sexual attraction, or don't feel it in the same way! And a lot of times it's very poly-exclusionist as well, for the same reasons! But dang am I a sucker for "They were literally made for each other!" ....

(Send me asks from this list!)

[thefudge]

Hi! Been a fan of you for a very, very long time now, and I can't help but wondering what with the most recent puritanism wave ruining so many fandoms, have you received any hate? If so, how do you deal with it? Any advice for us putting up with it but refusing to stop writing just because strangers on the internet don't approve of it? Frankly, I admire how you keep writing for yourself despite all the toxicity going around lately especially now that I have seen so many accounts being attacked so viciously over what they ship or like to write about

long-time fan ahh! <3 so glad you're here

so, i think for me it's a combo of getting lucky and doing my best to ignore it. it helps that i wasn't on twitter for a long time, because lots of call-outs and aggressive puritan behavior have been happening over there more than on tumblr (at least recently). i do have a fic-related twitter now but it's pretty lowkey. so i think i've just flown under the radar, even though i have a solid readership.

there's also the fact that i write for so many fandoms and that might help disperse my presence. i've noticed that ppl who write exclusively for 2-3 fandoms (especially very popular ones) get more attacks, but i could be wrong.

that being said, ignoring it and doing your thing is probably the best way to go about it, which is what i try to do. i've seen folks say they're going to delete their fics or stop writing altogether and while i respect that choice, because we all have to take care of ourselves, i feel like doing that just plays into the bullies' hands. this hobby brings us joy and it brings other people joy. we shouldn't deprive ourselves (and others) of that. you said it best: "writing for yourself". that's an important element. this is a very personal, accessible, totally gratuitous way of making art and we just have to remember that as we carry on. i get sometimes wanting to walk away from it. especially if someone is being genuinely harassed, staying off-line for a while might be necessary. we have to keep ourselves safe first. but i naively hope stories will prevail, meaning that a lot of these boring, sanctimonious bullies will hopefully fade away and what will remain is our passion for writing and reading stories.

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

Probably Cause

by HawkeA

Vi doesn't quite know how to deal with a girlfriend who'll buy her a car as a birthday gift, then be too busy at a job she absolutely doesn't need for date night. But hey, at least breaking traffic laws and ignoring speed limits is a fun way to burn off some stress.

And sometimes acting out really does get you the attention you didn't even know you were asking for.

Words: 2334, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends)

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Top Caitlyn (League of Legends), Bottom Vi (League of Legends), Power Dynamics, Caitlyn is a detective, Vi is some sort of professional MMA fighter or something, (and lowkey a sugar baby - which she does not quite know how to deal with), they get over arguments with with moderately toxic foreplay, Groping, Flirting, Established Relationship, Established Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Read on A03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’

[kopiicryptid]

very much agreed here, although I will say that Twitter mouthwashing fandom does NOT have this kind of mental maturity to handle nuanced discussions because of morality battles and egotism on that app, which is why I'll never post my analysis on there (at least tiktok people are a little more open-minded and willing to listen). Just recently I saw someone get harassed for pointing out that Curly isn't a 'perfect victim', with a bunch of people either reducing his abuse from Jimmy as 'lesser than' or nonexistent even. People like to deny that Curly's a victim simply for the fact that he is an incredibly flawed character. I think that says a lot about our world's culture around victims of abuse, around the ignorance and perpetration of toxic masculinity being a form of abuse towards men and their relationships with other men, and ironically, how quick we are to reduce people to only their faults without examining their situations because frankly, there's been a lack of humanity and empathy in fandoms nowadays. Again, pointing to the sign:

"I want to believe that we aren't defined by our worst moments."

Oh also I absolutely know this is a fandom thing to get so toxic so quickly, it just surprises me because I expected Mouthwashing to have a fandom similar to other indie horror games where everyone is focused on character analysis and stories, instead of... well, this. Not to mention it's extremely reminiscent of fandoms way back in the day, with shipping wars and people constantly persecuting each other for having different opinions. I first joined back in October because all the symbolic fanart interested me and the fandom at the time was much more chill. I guess I just expected it'd be a more mature and lowkey fandom but things have gotten way outta hand. On Twitter, at least.

Though maybe what I despise most is how black and white people treat the game and its characters, how everyone feels such a need to reduce them to good or bad. The only one who can be reduced to that and in a understandable way is Jimmy, because yeah he's a complex character and we all know that. But fucking hell just let me hate on him in peace because why am I seeing people complain about hating him like 'erm actually he's very nuanced and haters are reducing his character!!' YEAH WE KNOW HE'S NUANCED BUT WE STILL HATE HIM. TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE AT ONCE!!

But that's a rant for another day.

I think it's interesting but also nightmarish how the mouthwashing fandom can't decide whether or not they like Curly.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong in liking his character, in fact I think it's quite understandable considering how we can probably find a bit of him in us all and how he was meant to be written that way. He has good intentions, he's a people pleaser, he has mental health issues that he keeps closed off about, he feels lost in his life, he wants to keep the peace. However, it becomes all the more nuanced when you consider despite all these 'good' traits, he still ends up failing, making huge mistakes, and worst of all, an enabler.

Like I said in my analysis of his humanity, to portray him a saint is to ignore his failures as a captain, a friend, and a 'good' human and how they led to the demise of his crew. Yet to portray him as a monster only furthers the message of his dehumanization in the game and in real life, taking away from the point of his character and what makes him so horrifying—that he was just an ordinary man and yet his inactions led to such consequences.

Regardless of his struggles, regardless of his past, regardless of even if he knew, understood, and was upset by Anya's situation, nothing changes the fact that his first instinct was to 'fix it', how to get Jimmy out of trouble. Again. Not to comfort Anya, not to show her support, not to consider his options, not even chastise his friend. Because of that, he is worthy of criticism and even hatred or disgust as well. You can find sympathy for his flaws up until the point where it starts to negatively effect the people around him, something that simply can't be ignored about his character. Intentions are fine and all, but it's the effects that can last forever.

Though it pains me to see how black and white the fandom treats his character, even as someone who deeply resonates with Anya. I know people tend to enjoy throwing around the term 'morally grey' with him as an excuse, but I find the best way to describe Curly is, well, just a man. Someone who grew up with all the privileges of a man but experiences the same struggles of the average human. I believe Curly could've most certainly handled the situation a lot better but the problem is he didn't and that is simply something we need to accept as his fault.

Although as Anya says, "I want to believe our worst moments don’t define us." And that is so, so crucial when it comes to Curly's character. Often times I feel angry at him, for his indecisiveness, his power and privilege that he takes for granted. But often times I also see myself in him, a person that is lost, influenced by the world they grew up in and making mistakes and errors as a result of that despite trying their best to do what they believe is right. He isn't a saint, he isn't a monster, he's a human being, one that failed to do the right thing.

You are allowed to love him. You are allowed to hate him. Feeling sympathy or disdain for such a character is only human after all, we cannot deny that about ourselves when it comes to the tragedy that is Curly's character and story. But I don't think that either opinion should be ignored, belittled, or worse, harassed over, and I have seen that time and time again with this fandom.