#If you wait a couple of years I can guarantee the episodes of today would be treated with more love

[spongebob-connoisseur]

@bluebellthesponge

You're right about it. Its seriously dorky and not in a good way. You're telling me the happy go lucky sea sponge would hate his modern counterpart for being happy go lucky? Y'all okay? I know they differ a lot now in personality but the core is about the same. Sometimes it feels kinda ironic. I remember a post on Instagram where everyone in the comments was hating on Mind The Gap saying it was a disgrace to Spongebob and that Hillenburg would've hated it. While it was MADE while Hillenburg was still alive and was noted that he laughed so hard at the episode and really enjoyed it. Also the fact that its inspired by a Jerry Lewis movie and Spongebob the character is inspired by the man-child type character's Jerry Lewis would play. The episode fits the idea of the show better than some classic episodes.

I feel like if the classic episodes came out today then they'd be hated on. Spongebob came out at a particular time that allowed it's success because it stood out amongst all the cynical 90s cartoons. If it came out today people would think its just mindless goofy nonsense.

I feel similarly about modern episodes. I'm sure if the modern stuff came out like 20-30 years ago then it would've done so much better.

I'm just rambling but yeah, at the end of the day its not meant to be taken so seriously that you'd make literal hate art. I get why since the classics are so dear to so many people and people are particularly sensitive to nostalgia but nothing lasts forever and not all change is bad.

[otp-armada]

"Bellarke doesn't make sense," they say. They say because Clarke hasn't done anything that resembles romantic gestures toward Bellamy. 

Conceding to march to her possible death in exchange for Roan sparing Bellamy's life. Obstinately fighting against Bellamy's stubborn wishes to remain outside the Ark while Praimfaya burns to the world to ashes. Shattering her soul by choosing 100 people to live and writing his name on the list, because he must survive. She can't have it any other way. Relinquishing 50 of those spots to Azgeda when Bellamy is captured and threatened, and Roan calls her bluff. Desperation driving her to the extreme to ensure the survival of the human race, yet unable to kill Bellamy to keep the bunker closed and the grounders from possibly killing Skaikru. Leaving the guaranteed safety of the fort to stay by Bellamy's side on the brink of global cataclysm. The bittersweet yet soft head and heart exchange she prompted. The hesitation in her last remark before imploring him to hurry. 

4x13 ends six years and seven days post-Praimfaya with Clarke radioing Bellamy on the Ring. An activity she performs daily for six years. In any six years of my adult life, my only daily consistencies have been limited to breathing, eating, and sleeping. This girl is devoted enough to send her equivalent of love letters into the emptiness of space for 2,199 days. Season 5 opens with her trying to survive by herself in an apocalyptic wasteland. She spends her journey narrating to him her unvarnished struggles during the most traumatic experience of her young life to date. Her despondency. Her loneliness. Her agony. Her desperation. Her small victories. Her discovered treasures. Her determination. Her doubt. Her guilt. Her defeat. Her morbid self-reflection. Her relief and contentment. Her happiness. Her admission of missing him. She shares all of it with only him. Only he is permitted to know her to this depth. Not any of her other people on the Ring. Not any of her people in the bunker, a group including her mother. Not a spiritual communion to the great, big love of her life Lxa, situated on her throne in the high heavens and waiting for her trophy wife, for Clarke to stay connected to her dearly departed. Isn't that the sort of behavior that might occur by a bereft widow? 

After finding an oasis to rest and call home, even after discovering a companion to build a life with, she continues with her radio calls. It doesn't matter that he never received her communications. The importance of the gesture- the intimacy of sharing her life and thoughts with him while he was gone- remains the same. The magnitude of her devotion to him made clearer through the absence of a single responding utterance. 

She lovingly tells Madi stories of Bellamy as her hero. Gazing warmly, hopefully up at the stars as if she longs for her vision to cut through an endless pitch-black sky and find dark curls and freckled constellations from thousands of miles away.

"Bellarke doesn't make sense," they say. They say because post-Praimfaya ended with an established B/E.

As Clarke looks up at the stars, questioning if she'll see Bellamy again, we transition to our first glimpse of Bellamy after six years, forlornly looking down on Earth to the very spot of green where he is unaware of who is yearning for him to return to her. Contrary to Clarke, who is covered in warm firelight when thinking of him, he is colored in cold, muted greys and blue, no speck of warm hue. (The rhyming scheme was unintentional, but hey, I'm going with it.) Behind him, his family is sparring, but he's distant from them. He's trapped within this tin can, his arms folded, his body taut, not facing the view on the other side of the glass, but still enraptured by the sight of his home below.  

We see what changes to the characters and their dynamics have taken place until, at long last, we uproariously cheer as Bellamy & Co. find a way to return to Earth, the sole event we've been anticipating for eleven months, to the point we could feel it at our fingertips, jittery and tingly. Bellarke reunion!! He's going to know she's alive! Yes! Finally!! Break out the champagne! We're celebrating, dammit! It's going to be so damn emotional! Authors start crafting mental fanfics. People are bouncing off the walls like bright, errant fireworks, unable to sit still. I can't believe it's finally happening...what do you think it's going to be like? Will he run to her? Will he be stunned and speechless? Will they sob uncontrollably?!? They'll be clutching the life out of each other! Another Bellarke hug!! The very best hug!!! They're never going to let the other out of their sight again! He's going to meet Madi! Mom, dad, and adopted preteen make three!!! There's no way they're not getting together after this!! He just got her back after six years of thinking she was dead!! The reunion's not going to happen this episode, but maybe next week, when do you think? You mean we have to wait seven days before----

B e c h o.

We stood on the precipice of what we agonized and crawled through for eleven excruciating months, only for an anvil to drop, and our heads to be clubbed. Our bodies fell through the floor, descending lower and lower with immense haste, to take up residence in the seventh circle of hell. 

Do you think the framing of these events wasn't intentional?

Do you think the powers that be behind the creation of that calamitous bombshell for our protagonist, intended for us to root for B/E? 

By us, I'm not restricting the effect of the blow to Bellarke shippers. The entire audience, casual and fandom alike, shippers and non-shippers, was meant to await this reunion. We were all meant to feel devastated by this revelation. 

If they didn't want to invoke in us feelings of support for B/E at their inception, how in the name of all things holy is a purported B/E endgame your conclusion? 

"B/E doesn't make any sense," they say, "when last we saw them, she was his enemy. Nothing more, nothing less."

Do I think their pre-Praimfaya status as antagonists rendered it impossible for B/E to have a convincing love story or sexual relationship?

I think, if Jason were so inclined, we could have gotten flashback Ring rendezvous of secret trysts between Bellamy and a googly-eyed, blonde-wig-wearing broomstick designated Clarke 2.0. So no, I don't consider B/E a deviation inherently outside the realm of romantic possibility. Jason is an artist, and this show is his canvas. He can give life to almost any whim he'd like in his work of fiction. Not only that, but B/E is also hardly the first pairing in this series modeled by the enemies-to-lovers trope.

"Bellarke doesn't make sense, they'd say, "absent any concrete evidence alluding to a romantic relationship." "Seven years running, and not a trace of romantic love," they'd conclude. 

Remind me, what was B/E's sublime prologue into coupling up again?

Furiously choking the life out of an enemy in a fit of rage two episodes before revealing her as his new girlfriend evidently can be considered by some an adequate precursor to a sensational romantic relationship. But endangering Earthkru's lives by risking the wrath of two societies in refusing to let Clarke die, pumping her heart for her to stay alive while begging her to fight so she can come back to him, cannot be. 

Either this show is quite the oddity, or it’s fandom's periodic knee-jerk, ass-backwards, charming zeal at play. 

The lack of rising development is all the more reason why B/E's grand unveiling demanded perfection. Instead, our first insight into their union is overshadowed by Clarke and the impending Bellarke reunion. B/E isn't central enough to the narrative to warrant focus that would put to rest any discord of illegitimacy. But you know which pair of the two is concentrated on for seven seasons now? Three guesses... 

But don't despair. Fandom has decreed, by its own appraisal, the shorthand of kissing and sex has rectified the discrepancy of a complete absence of pertinent on-screen development.

"It's not ideal storytelling," they say, "to exclude B/E's development. But The 100 has historically been a plot-driven, fast-paced, contained drama. It has always evaded expanding on character dynamics to fans' satisfaction.”

The writers have done more to present Josephine and Gabriel as soulmates with less airtime than B/E ever had in total. They don't lack the skill or time to fortify B/E in anyone's mind as the central romance. Jason made a conscious choice not to. Why would he? Does he think the endgame love story of the show's deuteragonist doesn't merit attention to detail by the writing? Or does it seem more likely, it was never his intention for B/E to cross the finish line?

And, for a plot-driven, fast-paced, contained drama, they sure have an awful knack for finding the time to showcase Clarke's kicked puppy reactions to an embracing B/E. We've had three thus far. One for science, one for emphasis, and one to say, "Do you people get it now?"

"Bellarke doesn't make any sense," they say, "if they wanted each other, they'd have gotten together by now." 

A long time ago, someone stated, "Lovers are supposed to do that you know and if they don’t do that it means their relationship isn’t romantic if sexual intercourse isn’t added." 

And to that, I posed the question, "Where exactly is it written that "if a pairing is not made canon by season [insert arbitrarily chosen number here], it will never be made canon, period?" Was I just absent from fandom class that day and skipped to the lesson on slow-burn ships?" We are going into the final season, and I stand by this question today as I did then. Bellarke could refrain from physical expressions of love and candid confessions to season 17, and their journey could continue to exemplify a love story. Because the absence of either one doesn't preclude two people from falling in love. Nor does the inclusion of either one necessitate two people falling in love. 

"Bellarke doesn't make any sense," they say. They say because Bellamy is her dearly beloved, but platonic, best friend.

Well, you've got me there. I'm stumped. How can it be possible for friendship and romantic love to behave as anything but mutually exclusive concepts? It's not as if friendship can be contorted to serve as a foundation for love.

 The cornerstones of strong friendships include trust, care, support, devotion, and many other features of a similar nature. Love- deep and genuine love, that is- involves frequent kissing and passionate, vigorous sex. The wilder the display, the stronger the pairing. The dozens of couples, love interests, and sexual liaisons before B/E who have kissed and had sex before dying must not have first consulted the manual for proper protocol.

And the inverse? Once two people fall in love, they cannot fall back to say, a familial connection. No, no, no. Such a regression would be the work of a tragic, reprehensible flaw in the cogs of the universe. Speak nothing of it.

"It doesn't make sense for B/E to break up," they say, "when B/E has stayed together for two seasons sans any indication Bellamy loves Clarke more than Echo, enough to want to leave his loving girlfriend."

How many times has Bellamy tried and failed to honor his commitment to Echo? How many weak attempts are met with a corresponding scene of Bellamy shifting his attention to the girl he tells himself to get over?

Echo leaves for Shallow Valley, his focus immediately turns onto persuading Clarke not to leave his side. He symbolically chooses Echo in the fireside scene by touching her sword. Yet, he looks at his girlfriend for the first time since their separation with the most aloof expression unsuitable for the occasion. No hope to be found anywhere. They share a brief reunion hug, no time for intimacy. He is reunited with Clarke and casts a nervous glance at Echo when bombarded with Clarke's appreciative gaze. Still no time for intimacy between B/E before a decade-long nap, but time can be carved out for a warm, flirty Bellarke reconciliation, complete with intensive heart eyes. No inspired, emotionally wrought, double sunlit embraces for B/E. If Bellamy is going to look out of a window at his future home, he'll either be by himself or snuggling Clarke into his side. There's no place for Echo in the lock of his arms anymore, only room for flanking him in the way loyal lieutenants tend to do. His girlfriend glances over at him as their exploratory team roughly plummets to new territory, and he does the same at Clarke. B/E reconnects lakeside, him asking for a swim with her and leaning into her arms at a campfire. He sits by her side on a swing set, amidst talk of moving their people into an abandoned village. And it's all well and good for B/E, right? They're presenting the front of a happy, unified couple. 

Until...Clarke walks away behind his sight, and he leaves Echo's side to seek Clarke's missing presence where the flirting and warm gazes and near confessions are kicked into overdrive. He calls Echo to hear his latest discovery, then proceeds to ignore the hell out of her, communicating exclusively to his co-leader. He stares wistfully at Clarke dancing with her new flavor of the night, cannot stop doing so even while excoriating Echo for her stoicism, expressing his frustration at her inability to fulfill his emotional needs. 

He recommits to Echo, as Clarke is kidnapped and her body is stolen, with nary a transition, suggesting we are meant to link the two incidents together. For all his resolve to face the future with Echo, he spends the whole of the next episode with a wary eye on Clarke, to the point that he is the first to realize Clarke is not herself. In the ensuing arc ranging from 6x05 to 6x11, approximately half of the season, what was B/E, again? Was that a thing concurrently happening with Bellamy's Operation: Save My Clarke? Because I seem to be able to recall only Bellarke goodness. Oh, my mistake, there was the consoling hug which, oddly enough, did nothing to soothe him. As evidenced by his choice to grieve alone. No girlfriend he wanted close by for comfort, knowing clear as day she couldn't provide it if she tried. Not with who he just lost. 

B/E gets another brief reunion hug, the majority of which is spent with him peering at Clarke. The show saw that hug and raised us an Austenesque-quality counterpart that would do Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy proud. 

"B/E endgame is the only sensible outcome," they say, "they love each other so much."

I don't contend they don't love each other. But we are shown two people determined but incapable of snuffing their deep-rooted feelings out of noble propriety, and most importantly, out of needless fear of unrequited love. And another two people who sought- and failed- to keep grasping the wisps of a gentle relationship slipping out of their hands since they left their comfortable space bubble. For anyone in this conundrum to be happy, the only natural course of action is for the latter to call it quits. The writing has been on the wall for too long.

Maybe a single Bellarke scene plucked out of the lineup can be interpreted on its own as platonic buddies being platonic buddies. But when all those individual moments are woven together, what forms is an ornate tapestry with a pattern so vivid, any inane rhetoric involving a hint of the word "platonic" is little more than ludicrous anti drivel transparently cooked up by those wishing a different endgame.

I hope you've enjoyed my second long-winded rant, @sometimesrosy, @jeanie205, @travllingbunny. One born of a teaching moment in which I learn for the umpteenth time it's best to steer clear of Twitter.

[teaspoon-full-of-sugar]

time

pairing: harry styles x reader

warnings: angst, descriptions of anxiety, some fluff toward the end

word count: 1.7k

synopsis: part two to this fic

author’s note: thank you for the wonderful comments on the first part! this is probably not the ending that you all were expecting (it’s certainly not as dramatic as the first part), but i think it wraps everything up pretty well (albeit very cheesily)! this was inspired by the office: season 5 episode 28 18:48 and a little bit from the finale. i hope you enjoy! xx

—

Y/N sleeps until noon. 

She fishes her phone out from between the cushions, flinching at the brightness. She blinks, and her heart stops at the sight of dozens of notifications, texts, missed calls and voicemails: all from Harry. Fear settles in her stomach. Shaky hands scroll through incoherent messages. She hesitates before opening her voicemail. 

“Baby, I’m—” Her heart clenches painfully in her chest to hear him struggling for breath. “I’m so sorry.” His words slur together. That’s all she can really understand, the rest is blubbering nonsense, thick with tears. She automatically fears the worst: maybe something happened to him; he went out, and he got slipped something, or he took something that was laced. A chill settles into her bones, heart pounding in her chest as the voicemails continue, all similar to the first with muffled voices, gasping sobs, and harrowing cries. The final voicemail is from Jeff, reassuring her that Harry is fine; he just had a rough night.

It does little to calm her nerves, however.

 She wants to call him, to make sure that he’s actually fine, but something stops her. Calling him would set back all the progress that she made. There is no guarantee that she’ll be able to keep from giving in to him. The rational part of herself is screaming at her, fighting tooth and nail to control herself, but the thought of the man she still loves and cares about, lying in a hospital from an overdose or alcohol poisoning or anything makes her heart wrench painfully. 

She calls him. 

—

Harry wakes up to his phone vibrating on the night table. Next to it are a couple of pills, a glass of water, and a bottle of Gatorade. The pills shake with everything ring, making his headache worsen, but he doesn’t have the energy to pick up. He doesn’t know how he got back to Jeff’s. The night was a blur, but it was coming back to him in pieces. He groans aloud when he remembers pulling the girl into the bathroom with her lips on his neck, hand dropping dangerously low, toward his—

When his phone rings for the second time, he sighs, yanking it listlessly. 

“Hello?” He answers, voice throaty. He takes the pills, downing half the bottle of water. 

“Hey.” 

The sound of Y/N’s voice, her actual voice, not just another deception of his mind, knocks the breath from his lungs. He’s speechless. He remembers vaguely from the night before calling her, but he didn’t honestly think that she would respond. When he comes back to himself, he smiles, breathing a sigh of relief. He missed her. 

“I was just calling to make sure you’re okay,” she says softly. Tears fill his already swollen eyes, and his lip trembles pitifully. 

He hates this. He hates this feeling in his chest, like there’s a weight, and it just keeps pressing and pressing down until something shatters. He hates this feeling of uneasiness that settles between them. He hates the feeling in his heart when he considers lying to her. He wants so badly to just brush off those messages he left her the night before, blaming them on his inebriated mindset, and keep her in the dark about the pain he’s feeling, the longing he feels, and the pure relief when he heard her voice, but he can’t. The thought of lying or not spilling what's on the tip of his tongue leaves a bad taste in his mouth. 

“‘M not,” he admits, wiping his eyes and sniffling. “Jus’ miss you so much, babylove.” 

“I miss you too, H,” she sighs. He lets out a breath of relief. He knows that she’s not angry or upset with him, but there is always that little voice in the back of his head telling him that she left him because she hated him. A tear slips out at the thought. 

“Can I—uh—“ He clears his throat and sits up, bare back against the cool headboard. “Can I see you? Today?” Hope tinges his words. 

“Harry,” she trails off, and he can feel his heart stop. 

He knows what she’s going to say. He shouldn’t have even asked her, but a small part of him, the one that believes that everything will work out, the part that is filled with longing and desperation, had to try. He has to put his heart out there, even if it meant that it would get broken again. 

“We probably shouldn’t see each other.” 

Even though he knew she was going to say that, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He nods, trying to keep tears at bay. He bites down hard on his lips. 

“It’s for the best.” 

A small part of him knows that their separation is for the best. If the relief he felt when he saw that she called is any indication, he is dependent on her; he wouldn’t say to an unhealthy degree, but certainly not helpful. Even though a small part of him understands that the breakup is good for not only her but also himself, he still holds onto the hope of her falling back into his arms—how delusional of him. 

“I love you.” 

It slips out, really; he doesn’t comprehend what he’s saying until it’s too late. He knows that it’s selfish of him to say, and he hates himself for even saying it, for digging himself a deeper hole that he might not be able to get out of. The larger part of him, the part of him that is in pain and just wants it to go away, was speaking. He just thought that maybe he could be selfish, just this once. Maybe he can tell her about what he was going to say that night she left, or maybe he can somehow just convince her to see him; he’s like an addict, just needing one more hit. His heart swells when he hears her breath hitch. 

He can see her now. She’s probably on the couch, finding it hard to sleep in their bed. After she left him, he couldn’t sleep in it either. He’s sure that she’s bundled up in blankets despite it being warm out, clutching onto her phone like a lifeline. She’s probably biting on her lip, an awful habit of hers, and by the raspy sound of her voice, she has dried tear tracks on her cheeks, much like him, blemishing her smooth skin with salt and stains. Her eyes are probably swollen like his, too. He can practically visualize her trying to figure out what to say next, eyes fluttering nervously about as she bites at her nails. 

He hopes that she will say the same to him. He hopes that she’ll just say that she loved him too, tell him that he can come back home, that she’ll be there with open arms, ready to take any pain away. She breathes heavily into the line, shaky and tense. It’s as if she’s afraid. 

“No, you don’t,” she finally says, voice feeble. She’s close to breaking down. He knows that much. He can hear it in her shallow breaths and the little cry that escapes from her, weak and defeated. 

His heart sinks, not because she didn’t say if back, but because she truly believes that he doesn’t really love her anymore. When she was the first woman to show him what true love felt like, when she opened his eyes to new experiences and when she stuck beside him when he was at his lowest, how could she doubt his love? Perhaps, that’s his own fault, for being inattentive and reclusive in the months leading to their breakup. 

“I will always love you, Y/N,” he admits. 

“I love you, too, Harry,” she says, “but we just need some time to set our priorities and figure everything out.” 

“Okay,” he says softly. “Time. We just need time.” He wipes the wetness from his cheeks with his arm. He breathes out. “I can do that.” She sighs, probably feeling the same as him, filled with comfort of their future, the ache dulling. 

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Neither of them want to be the first to hang up, but Harry does a short while later, after saying their final farewells. As he lies in his bed, clutching his phone to his chest, feeling the warmth slowly die away, he smiles. For the first time in weeks, a feeling of security and hope fills him, drowning the heartache and grief. He finally got closure, and he’s ready for the tough road ahead.  

They need this time apart. It took his breakdown the night before to realize this, but he became too reliant on her. He always expected her to be there, and when she wasn’t, there was no way of him to support himself. It’s unhealthy, and would have led to an even worse, less civil breakup. He realizes this, now. They need some time apart, and he can live with that. 

Years may pass. She may find someone, and he may find someone. They’ll reconnect, then lose touch. No journey is ever smooth; there are bumps and potholes and detours they have to take, but the destination will be worth it. That’s just how their story is, intricate, complicated, and messy, but when they finally come together, it’ll be perfect. He knows that all of this, this heartache and growth, will be worth it because at the end of the road, there will be love and happiness. 

He is in no rush because no matter what, no matter how long it takes or how painful the journey is, he knows that he’s waiting for his wife, the one woman who will make everything worth it. 

Even though he found her and then he lost her, he knows that he can’t chase after her; everything will come to a close when it’s time, when they’re ready. They need to grow and mature on their own, become better for each other, before they can finally be together. 

They just need a little time. 

He can live with that. 

—

[district2001]

The Ring that bounds us together

PAIRING: SVT (Mainly Wonwoo) x 14th Member (female)

GENRE: Domestic SVT?

WORDS: 1.5k

Summary: Wonwoo lost his SVT ring and Y/N decides to be a useful maknae, for once

A/N: Took me a while but I’m back. Thought lockdon was the best time to start writing again. But this time about SVT, cos i have become a massive carat since i left. Please also lemme know if u hv any requests. Xx

Ok. So one thing Y/N hated was a mess. Sure she could handle a spill here and there, some clothes on the designated chair, and even could tolerate 2 day old food still on the kitchen bench. But what she couldn’t stand was not seeing the floor of her living room.

The culprit. The one and only Jeon Wonwoo. The only person who chooses to sleep in the living room so that their dorm could have a gaming café set up in his room. Questionable? Very. But Coups and him made it work, so no one ever complained about having a bed in the middle of their shared living space.

Until today, where Y/N had come from her daily coffee run to find Wonwoo, shirtless with a towel around his waist, flinging clothes out of his cupboard, throwing his somewhat folded clothes into a sea of mess.

“Wonwoo-Oppa?”

“What?” Wonwoo didn’t even bother giving Y/N any eye contact as he continued emptying his closet like his life depended on it.

“What are you doing?”

Wonwoo didn’t even bother replying this time, instead moving over to the neighbouring cupboard to ransack it instead.

Grabbing the hair tie from her left arm, Y/N quickly placed her hair in a high pony-tail. “Mingyu Oppa won’t be very happy to come back and see this mess. Remember last time with Seokmin Oppa didn’t pack up the pillows after making that fort?”

Nothing. No Response.

Y/N shook her head, something was indeed troubling her friend. So much so, that he wasn’t giving the maknae the time of day.

If Wonwoo wasn’t going to reply to her and show her respect, she would do the same thing back. Passively of course. She wasn’t evil.

“Wonwoo-ya, do you want some help, doing whatever you’re doing?” Y/N would be OFFENDED if she didn’t get a response, but she knew better than to constantly try to get attention when it clearly wouldn’t be given. Although she was very curious to figure out the cause of this weird cleaning phase.

Luckily for her, not showing respect to her elders always guaranteed in her being called out for it. And today was no different.

“Firstly, it’s Oppa. I’m older than you. Here in SK we show respect to our elders. So add that suffix to my name.”

Y/N dramatically rolled her eyes, something which was clearly Jeonghan’s influence. Nevertheless, she sighed, signalling with her hands for Wonwoo to answer her question.

“I went to have a shower, then realised I didn’t have my ring on,” looking at Y/N from the corner of his eyes, through his glasses.

Y/N clearly didn’t see the issue. “Just tell our designers you lost the ring. Problem solved.”

Clicking her heels together, she started walking towards her room. Shouting “Clean up the mess before Mingyu sees. He’ll be more mad then our team.”

She chuckled before adding, “and he’s cooking us dinner so don’t make him mad. I’m looking forward to taco Tuesday.”

“I lost our team ring.” Wonwoo aggressively whispered.

Y/N stopped right before entering her room.

Lost the SVT ring. The one just given a couple months ago. Had she expected this from the members, not really. Had she expected it from Wonwoo, definitely not. Mingyu and Jun, possibly. Maybe. She still didn’t know how they had managed to keep there’s this entire time.

Y/n quickly walked back towards the mountain of clothes, just narrowly avoiding stepping on a leather jacket with metal spikes.

“What do you mean you lost it?”

“I don’t know. I went to go shower, and I realised it wasn’t there.”

“When’s the last time you realised it was on your finger? Did you hear a clanging sound anytime during the day? Did you post a picture today? Could it have been on your finger when you did?”

Y/N started bombarding Wonwoo with questions, something she had learned from watching far too many episodes of Criminal Minds.

Although the case this time didn’t have to do with a murder, but instead a very valuable ring.

“Umm no idea. Am I meant to? Uhhh… what was the last one?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Have you asked the others?,” Y/N asked, despite knowing the answer.

“NO!” No member would admit to losing the ring, or years of jokes would be brought upon them.

She was sure that Wonwoo wouldn’t have told her, if he wasn’t in such a frazzled state.

Plus, she too had misplaced her ring for a day, opting to wear gloves so that none of her band-mates would catch her. Luckily, she found it between her bedsheets.

“Ok. Ok. Hmmmm. I’ll recheck the lounge, you go to the bathroom or wherever you’ve been in this apartment.”

Wonwoo trudged off, silently obeying the younger one.

The duo spent a good 2 hrs ransacking their dorm, trying to find the missing ring.

“Bro this is harder than finding a needle in a haystack… bro we should make a new saying,” Y/N groaned, falling back onto Wonwoo’s bed.

Wonwoo flopped beside her.

“You’re gonna get absolutely roasted by everyone. And I make no promises that I won’t join in”

“They won’t find out I lost it.”

“And how’s that? I might be an annoying maknae and tell them” Y/N smiled smugly.

“Well, for starters I could tell them that you’ve secretly been eating chips despite being diet buddies with Jeonghan”

“Pshhh. That’s nothing. Jihoon Oppa legit joined me last night. We ate his secret stash of snakes”

“Fine. I’ll tell them that you lost your ring aswell.”

“No I didn’t”

“Yes you did.”

“When did I? Have you noticed me not wear the ring? Don’t li-?”

“Firstly, you rattle on when you’re nervous.’ Y/N shut her mouth, before she could make her mistake more obvious, allowing Wonwoo to keep talking.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you wearing gloves to practise. And ONLY on your left hand.”

“W-Wh-What?” Y/N Stuttered. Not sure if admitting her mistake or continuing to lie would be her best option.

She chose the former. “I’ll keep quiet about you, and you keep quiet about me.”

Wonwoo grabbed his gloves from the mountain of clothes, and quickly slipped them on his hands.

“Look’s like we got ourselves a deal.”

The mood quickly sombered up when Wonwoo did a deep sigh and asked.

“What actually happens if I’ve lost my ring?”

“You get a new one?”

“No. But like…”

He trailed off to collect this thoughts.

“Would I get in trouble?”

“I mean Pledis might be a bit pissed off cos they need to spend money on another ring. But I’m sure they’ll do it without a doubt. It’s our brand.”

“No not pledis. I don’t give a flying shit about them. I meant the others.”

“Who the members.” Wonwoo nods his head in confirmation.

Y/N leans her head against the crook of his neck, “You’ll get bagged for it. But they won’t take it too seriously.”

“But the rings a symbol of our friendship and trust.��� Trust Wonwoo to go all literature on her.

“Exactly. A symbol.”

Wonwoo looked at Y/N, clearly not understanding the connection.

Y/N smiled, finally outsmarting the group’s so-called genius.

“It’s a symbol. Not the real thing. Think of the Jjapaguri in ‘Parasite.’ It’s a mix of aspects of poor and rich, but even if it wasn’t included, the characters would be struggling to act rich.” Y/n finished proudly.

“If you’re going to talk nonsense, at least talk to someone who believes you. Like Chan. He believes the chicken comes before the egg. Idiot.”

Y/N jumped up. “Well, if I’m such an idiot, you can deal with this ring situation all by yourself.”

“Wait no.” Wonwoo quickly sat up on his bed. “You’re a genius. Brilliant. Smartest member.”

He tilted his head, “Happy?”

“Very” Y/N replied.

“Can you make some ramen when I chuck my clothes back in the drawers?”

“Fine. We can fill their stomachs up so they don’t ask too many questions?” Y/N held out her hand and dragged Wonwoo up.

20 minutes later, a living room where the floor was visible and 10 portions of msg-filled ramen was placed on the table, to greet their 5 other roommates.

Soon the door banged open, and numerous sweaty man-childs came tumbling in.

“Wonwoo you absolute idiot. We’re never gonna forget this” Seokmin said happily.

“What?”

Hoshi stepped out behind him, proudly holding up his pinky.

“Soonyoung, don’t you have your own dorm to-”

Wonwoo squinted. On the Performance leaders left pinky were 2 silver rings.

Wonwoo would only sheepishly smile, while pointing behind him.

“Hey, I cleaned the living room.”

[kawaii-kozume]

One Day the Only Butterflies Left(Will Be in Your Chest)

Rated T+. Very heavy themes discussed. Solangelo. 3066 Words.

On the verge of no return, why'd you keep fucking it up?

Don't wanna have to bury you, but nothing seems to get through your skull.

It started after the repairs were finished. Or was it after Apollo showed up? Or maybe it started when Meg disappeared. Or when he found out about Jason. Or maybe, Will thought, it started back before he even first talked to Nico.

It was easy to wave off, especially after Nico told him what he did. What a night that was, sitting on the hard, marbled floor of the Hades cabin, holding the other boy tightly as he sobbed through story after story about his involvement in the wars. Will tried, he really, really tried. Every new realization struck him like one of his dad’s poison arrows and he eventually had to ask Nico to stop. Then they sat in silence until the sun rose.

So yes, Nico di Angelo, the love of Will’s life, was mentally fucked up and Will couldn’t do anything to fix it. He’d done as much as he could. He made Dionysus aware, he provided physical comfort, he let Nico cry on him as often as he needed, he listened to Nico’s mad ravings in the middle of the night when Tartarus’ claws were so deep in his mind. With all of that going on though, Will missed it. He missed the signs and he let the emotions fester and the toxicity bubble up around them.

That’s how he found himself staring at Nico, thinking gross thoughts about walking away from the brunette with the bleeding arms. He glances at the hand hovering around the wounds and bites back an angry huff.

“What happened?” He asks. Stupid, warm your voice.

“The-the-the- sac, the poison, Bob’s gonna burn, I gotta-” Nico brings the hovering hand to his arm again, curling his fingers to scratch the reddened skin. Will softly grabs the hand, preventing it from doing further damage.

“Shh, love, it’s okay, Bob’s going to be fine,” Will didn’t know exactly what Bob was, but it apparently mattered much to his broken lover. “It’s okay now.”

Nico’s eyes were darting around, searching for something, but his eyes were glossy as if he weren’t actually seeing his surroundings.

“No, I gotta get to the door.” He mutters, trying to wrench his arm away. A heavy lump formed in Will’s throat, blocking the little saliva he had left in his mouth. He holds Nico’s hand steady.

“Neeks, baby, if I go get Mr. D, I need to know you won’t hurt yourself.” Will knew if he walked Nico to the Big House, Nico would be upset when he came to. It was just before lunch, the majority of the camp was already at the dining pavilion and the stragglers were sure to be heading there now. Nico doesn’t respond.

“Nico, please. I don’t want to hurt you further.”

“ Percy, please be there. ” Something in Will snaps. It was like a twig in the woods under the foot of a mouse. It was fragile to begin with and even though the final bout of pressure was so small, it broke him. He can’t keep doing this. He’s only seventeen, he’s lived through two wars and lost so much already. Will stood there for what felt like hours, staring at the boy he loved with every fiber of his being, unsure how to move forward.

“ I’m so sorry, Neeks.” Will covers the claw marks, now layered with dried blood, and pushes Nico out the door of his cabin. Will was right; people stare as he pushes Nico forward to the one person who could stabilize his crumbling mind. He couldn’t find it in himself to care. Mr. D was already opening the door when he hauls Nico onto the porch.

With a quiet “I can’t stay.” Will leaves Nico in the director’s care and he walks off, away from the pavilion. He has no real location in mind, but something brings him back to the dark cabin on one of the corners of the unit. Will comes face to face with a heavy door and an even heavier feeling in his chest. He pushes the door open and shuffles inside. A year and a couple months of memory lives in this space and Will wants to forget each and every one. He can’t remember when he starts crying, but he moves through the cabin, pulling small items of his to take back to his own.

I hate to say "I told you so," but look how the bruises show

Tell me, how is it gonna feel without my arms wrapped around, wrapped around you?

The light is low and Nico is exhausted. He tilts his head to see the dying embers of a fire in a familiar fireplace. He’s in the Big House, alone. He sits up slowly, trying to remember how he got here. He vaguely remembers his cabin, blood, and Will. But Will’s memory isn’t warm like it usually is. It feels tragic and empty, almost like how Nico feels.

“Good morning.” A deep voice says and the sound of shuffling moves in. Nico looks up at Mr. D, afraid to ask his status. Luckily, he doesn’t have to.

“You had another episode. This one seemed much worse than the previous.” Mr. D gives him a sharp look now. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you avoiding me, too.”

Nico flinches at that. He knows he’d been but he didn’t think he needed to continue to check in. He’d been doing okay. Mostly nightmares, less waking blackouts. He moves his arm and hisses as bandages press against a wound.

“You clawed yourself up real nicely. It was kind of Sunless to bring you here.” Mr. D says and Nico’s stomach drops to his feet. Will was there.

“Can he come in?” Nico asks. Mr. D looks at him, curious.

“He’s not here at the moment. He didn’t answer where he was going but he dropped you off and walked away.” He speaks softly, as if Nico were a newborn deer and any sudden noise would send him skittering out into traffic.

“Oh.”

Mr. D sets a mug in front of him and stands.

“Drink. You’ll feel better.” Then he leaves. Nico’s not so sure what happens next because he forces himself to check out. It’s better not to feel than to feel bad things, after all.

You were dead to the world, now I'm dead to you

Haunting your own house, nothing to lose

It’s been three days since the last incident and things return to normal. Or so Nico thinks. Will knows he thinks so because he’s back to holding Will when they nap. Nico tries to engage Will in light bickering and Will tries his best to accommodate it. Will knows one thing though: whatever snapped in him that day hasn’t repaired itself. He finds himself not caring about what Nico has to say at breakfast in favor of asking himself Am I gonna find him broken today?  

Nico notices him staring and nudges him with his shoulder.

“What?” He’s got a small smile on his lips, the same pink tinted lips Will adores, and a playful look buried in his eyes that only Will would know to look for. For a moment, Will can almost see who Nico once was.

“You’re playful today.” And apparently that was the wrong thing to say because after Nico’s responding hum, a shadow flits over his eyes and he goes quiet, staring at the bowl of oatmeal in front of him. Will’s chest tightens as he waits for an outburst. He almost cries when it doesn’t come.

“The world must have turned upside-down. I’m playful and you’re glowering.” The sadness in the smile Nico gives Will would be imperceptible to anyone watching, but Will sees it. He’ll always see it.

Past the point of rescuing, why'd I keep pushing my luck?

The hole I wore into your soul has got too big to overlook

“When I lose it completely, will you leave?” Even though it’s a question Will has asked himself many times over, he still finds himself unsure how to answer when Nico asks. They’re sitting in the basement room of the Big House on the concrete floor. Nico is sitting in between Will’s legs, pressed against his chest and clutching Will’s t-shirt like it’s the only lifeline he has. Who knows, in the next moment it could be.

Nico had another episode that morning, this time resulting in a child of Hebe getting cornered by skeletal military men. He was already in the basement after Will showed up to the Big House from the infirmary. The little girl had cried and asked Will many things he couldn’t answer. Did he mean it? Am I a pawn? Why does he hate me? Will he do it again? Will placated the girl before tending to his boyfriend’s fragile state as more ice grew around his heart.

“Do you want the honest truth?” Will sighs, bringing a hand up to push Nico’s hair behind his ear. He strokes Nico’s cheek with his thumb as Nico makes a noise of affirmation.

“I don’t know.” Will inhales. “I’d like to think so. Fuck, I’d like to think you’re never going to lose it completely. That you’ll keep up with your appointments with Mr. D. I’d like to think that you’ll overcome this.”

Something’s making a wet patch on Will’s shirt and causing Nico to shake in his arms. Will’s fighting tears himself, knowing that Nico needs to hear this.

“But I know you. And I know that you’d rather keep your problems to yourself because someone once told you that you aren’t worth the trouble. I know that you tend to sabotage yourself so you’ll never be happy, just in case it gets taken away.”

Nico’s sobs are muffled by Will’s chest but it doesn’t make each one hurt less.

“I can’t guarantee it, but damn it, Nico, I’ll be here until I can’t take it anymore. Can I ask something though?” And Will waits until Nico calms down enough to look at him.

“Can you please, no matter what, get to your meetings with Mr. D? Just because I’ll push myself through this, doesn’t mean that I want to.” Will feels the tears fall down his face and sees it on Nico’s. Nico doesn’t speak but he nods.

That night, Nico lashes out at him and tries to hurt him. Will tells himself it’ll be okay because that’s all he can do.

I thought we had a future, but we ain't got a chance in hell

It starts looking up and Will thinks more and more that Nico can do this. He sees Nico slip into the Big House regularly and sees him start to sit with Dionysus at meals. He sees Nico make real progress. He has less breakdowns and Will starts smiling again.

Will knew it was too good to last.

The sun is setting on our love, I fear

Letting our loneliness out into the atmosphere

Will startles out of sleep as he feels a weight settle on his chest. His eyes open and he’s looking into dark, glossy eyes above him. He takes in the blade pressed against his throat and bites back a whimper.

“Nico.” He whispers. Nico’s crying and he wants to reach out and wipe the tears away.

“Nico.” He says softly. The blade presses into him. He quiets down. He assesses the situation. Judging by the position of the moonlight, he guesses it’s about four in the morning. Nico’s holding his left arm down with his hand and his right arm is pinned under Nico’s knee.

“Where is he?” Nico hisses. Will looks back to his love’s crazed look.

“Who?” Will whispers. Nico scoffs.

“Damasen. I know you know where his lair is. I need to get there and I will kill anything I need to.” Nico spits out. Will thinks about how to handle this. If he answers, Nico may just kill him, no longer needing the information he thinks he needs. If he doesn’t comply, Nico could kill him anyways. There was only one plan Will could figure out.

“I can take you there. It’s really hard for a mortal to try to get to.” Will says slowly. He watches Nico process the answer and prays to any deity listening.

“Fine, but one wrong move and I swear…” Nico whispers. He climbs off Will and Will slowly sits up. He’s only in a t-shirt and boxers but damn it all if he bends over to find pants. He stands with his hands raised and walks out the Hades cabin door. Nico follows him, still in his illusion. Will glances up and sees he’s right. It’s just after four in the morning. He leads Nico to the Big House and stops at the base of the porch.

“This is him, just knock on the door.” Will says. Nico eyes him like he doesn’t trust him and continues to watch him as he walks up the stairs and knocks on the door. Will knows he should feel something seeing his love glare at him like he’s trash. But in all honesty, Will feels nothing. The door opens. Will doesn’t have the time to explain and Nico drops his sword.

“Nico.” Is all Dionysus says as Nico curls in on himself. Will doesn’t bend down next to him. He only walks up the porch and explain to Mr. D what happened. He feels Nico’s pleading eyes on him as he talks and he has nothing in his mind to say.

“I didn’t .” Nico whispers, horrified at himself. Will just looks at him blankly. “Holy shit, Will, I’m- There’s nothing I can say to make this better. I’m so sorry.”

Dionysus brings them both inside and sits them in front of the fireplace, Nico’s Stygian sword sitting in the attic for now. He’s left them to make tea. It’s silent between the two lovers and Will knows the growing ravine between them is too large.

“Have you been going?” Will asks quietly. Nico doesn’t answer. Will looks up at him, making sure he hadn’t gone into another episode, but Nico’s staring at his shaking hands.

“I tried.”

“How long?” Will’s tired. He’s so exhausted running in these circles.

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks.” Will repeats. “Nico, I can’t do this.”

“Will, please, if it’s about tonight, we’ll stop sleeping together.”

“It’s not just tonight. It’s not even about me being in danger. It’s about how every time I see you in the mornings, I ask if today’s going to have another episode. It’s about me being in the infirmary, wondering if any of the campers that come in are going to be from you. It’s about the many times you’ve told me you’ll stop hurting yourself and making yourself fail but then you turn around and do it again. It’s about knowing that the longer I stay around, the more I’ll lose myself. It’s about looking at you and seeing you not even being on the plane of existence. It’s about not putting myself through torture because I love you, Nico. I love you so fucking much and I’m losing myself trying to save you. I’ve lost so much weight, it’s considered unhealthy. I’m jumpy when we’re together because I’m waiting for it. I’m not sleeping, I’m not even really living anymore. We’ve both become ghosts, Nico. And I’m sure you’re trying your hardest, I don’t doubt that. But it’s not enough and I’m not enough to fix it.” Will’s crying, no he’s sobbing. His breathing is ragged and he’s swallowing against the lump in his throat waiting for Nico to respond with something.

“You’re right.” Nico finally looks up at him and Will, for as long as he lives, will never forget the look on his face. “You’re absolutely right. I’m broken and I’m not doing what I should about it and we’re too young to handle this. I’m sorry it came to this. I’m sorry we’re not enough. I’m sorry that we moved too fast.”

“So, what now?”

“For one, we break up.”

Will inhales sharply. He knows that’s what needs to be done. He knows that’s what’s the most healthy and what’s most likely to salvage their friendship. But it still cuts through him like a hot knife.

“We break up.”

“And I’ll move into the Big House. I’ll work more closely to Mr. D. And if I get through it, maybe one day, we’ll be able to be friends again.”

“That sounds like a great idea.” Will says. The ice that had been wrapping its way around his heart for the last five months hadn’t gone away and with Nico’s last words, it shattered inside of him.

“The sun is setting on our love, but I will always keep you with me, Will Solace. I’ll always love you.” Nico stands up and leans down, pressing one final kiss to Will’s lips and then leaves for the basement room.

“I can keep you updated on his progress, if you’d like.” Mr. D stands in the doorway to the kitchen. Will stands up and shakes his head.

“He’ll either be better or he won’t. And he’ll tell me when he is.” With those last words, Will leaves the Big House, his chest both heavier and lighter than it had been in the last year and a half. That morning, he breaks. He sobs into his pillow, on his sister’s shoulder and all throughout breakfast that he didn’t attend. He makes a final trip to the Hades cabin and collects the last item he has there. The one item he didn’t take back because he still had hope. He picks up the tiny Apollo mythomagic statue and instead of taking it to his cabin, he takes it to the Hephaestus cabin. He asks Harley if he could make it a small, flat metal token and after it’s pressed down, he punches a hole in it and laces it on his necklace of beads. One last reminder of the boy who loved him and lost his mind.

The tide is turning on our chance to turn it 'round

I never thought I'd see my fingernails fall out

Love isn't in the air, love isn't in the air

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Maou-jou 9 - 12 (FINAL) | Idolish7 s2 10 - 15 (FINAL) | SLS 2

I’ve been holding off new seasonals because of other things, but after I post this I’ll have enough time to get around to them. That’s why I can’t guarantee winter 2021 seasonal tags on this post...maybe the next one will have them...

Maou-jou 9

…it seems shopping channels even are the same in the demon world.

Now even the demons have quests! (The frame is different to the princess’s, though.)

Oh! The quest failed.

Neo Alraune: in flower language, “the 2nd coming of happiness”. The worry from a little while ago was, “I’m worried about my brother.” The worry from recently: “I didn’t think about being happy that the princess didn’t kill my brother.”

The penguin demons are pretty cute!

Don’t you know how parents forbid children from sleeping until they finish all their homework? Must be something like that.

Yoku ganbarimashita! – Syalis worked hard!

LOL, mental age: 3. Poseidon likes cute things…I can’t read a lot of this…the hardsubs cover the JPN text.

They…both succeeded! (…LOL?)

Maou-jou 10

Owarinocity = Endopolis. It’s a good equivalent, if I do say so myself.

…oh yeah. What happened to Alraune? Update: There she is!

Also, that blonde guy in the infomercials doesn’t look too bad…*makes chef’s kiss gesture with one hand* Nice.

I wonder, was Twilight once human…?

LOL, there’s a goat symbol on the cleric’s pyjamas. Also “first time”, LOL.

I think they were playing shiritori at one point.

Hanamaru saikou yoku dekimashita!

Maou-jou 11

…How does one “sleep cheerfully”, anyway?

I think I saw Twilight drop something…some kind of paper…

Aw, Twilight blushing is kinda cute!

LOL, 70s shoujo style. Also, “It cannot be!”

Whoa, she cancelled it?!

I read up on this series on TV Tropes…and apparently the Demon King captured the Princess in her sleep.

Kagemusha? Like a ninja or something?

Apparently the Demon Cleric is much older than he looks.

Ooh! Hypnos is back!

A-whatsit really is abysmal levels of stupid!!! (LOL)

Maou-jou 12 (FINAL)

Who’s that one tiny guy occupying one of the Ten Kings’ seats?

*watching after Christmas, about a week after the anime finished* This is not seasonally appropriate!

…*thinks for a second, then spits* That’s the 2nd Nemu in the fall 2020 season!!!

Ooh, the head paladin doesn’t look that bad, either.

“…is it good to be…”

“…has seized the princess!”

“…that demon king is rather cute.” – See? Someone agrees with me.

Anyways, that was a fun series. See you soon!

Idolish7 s2 10

…Back at it after so long…(I can’t help it though – Crunchyroll, per month, is about double the local Funimation sublicensor’s fees, and for much less content that’s worth my money to boot!)

I’ve always thought Momo was like Sasara (HypMic), so seeing him anguished hurts me in the kokoro too…

I know Banri was involved with Re:vale somehow…this must be it.

…Male idols are also popular among men? Is this why there are 8 (!!!) idol anime in winter 2021 alone…? (Also, that’s why HypMic became popular? Multidemographic appeal crossed over with obvious merchandising opportunities?)

It’s kind of scary how Momo stepped the formality towards Yuki like that (to -san).

I guess in his heart Momo still reveres Yuki, some way or another.

The rakugo curtain really sold the moment that they (current Re:vale) were acting like an old married couple.

Yay! Silver Sky is such a cool song! Of course I recognised the intro when it came on.

…I see. The elder Kujo is entrusting his dream to Tenn, so that’s why he banned Aya from seeing Tamaki. However, it’s hard to know what to feel when Aya speaks in the vaguest terms possible.

I think that was a special ending for only this episode. I don’t know what its name is, but I guess I might recognise it on Spotify one day.

Idolish7 s2 11

LOL, Nagi’s reaction.

Considering the ‘rona is getting worse outside our very windows as we speak (type?), I think it’s correct to be concerned about your future right now.

Looking at these narrow streets reminds me of going to eat hotpot at the end of my Japan trip…only Japanese streets look like that, I think. Hong Kong’s streets are more crowded than that and America likes their suburbia.

Of course, when you say hajimemashite (nice to meet you), someone’s gotta say it back, hence the reply.

Considering there are people all over the world watching the Idolish7 anime, I would say you are telling the world about I7, Riku.

Oh! Restart Pointer! There was an MV for that one…I think it was around the time Idolish7’s MVs started getting better.

So this is the context around the new outfits! Cool!

There have been way too many puns about “idol” being…y’know, “ai (love) doll” and stuff like that…

I have one Twitter person who I follow (DejiNyucu, part of the creative team for Autumn’s Journey) because I don’t get much I7 content and they keep mentioning this “Haruki” person…and suddenly a “Haruki the Betrayer” showed up in the graffiti…they might be the same person, I think. Not Deji, but Haruki. Update: Sakura Haruki, perhaps…?

Sougo’s such a bad liar…

Sometimes, the best way to deal with things is to be direct…(I’m not very good at that, I naturally talk in a very roundabout sort of way.)

Sougo with long hair like Yuki would be really pretty… (<- has an obvious thing for guys with long hair)

Idolish7 s2 12

Nagi’s stupid accent is generally what he’s best remembered for (for me), so seeing him speak normally, and do a press conference on top of that, is…impressive.

A kabedon on top of all this! Whoa!

Shibuya 109 parody…? (I’ve seen that once or twice – parodying that means people know their stuff about Shibuya.)

I think the “it’s overflowing!” is referring to the hype in the “room”.

…this dejected Momo is worrying…(well, he is worrying and I am worrying about him.)

Oh, I see. The person responsible typed the letter so that they couldn’t be traced back. Kind of like those old movies where the culprit would cut letters out of newspapers to make threat mail, but…with even less traces than that, because cutting letters out leaves evidence.

…wow, it took a while for this ep. to have an intro…

…LOL, I just spotted Kenjiro Tsuda cited as the “fake Zero”, meaning the real one might never show up this season.

There’s something really stupid and infectious about these managers’ enthusiasm for drinking energy drinks. It puts a goofy smile on my face.

Is Musubi Tsumugi’s mother…? Update: Yes, she is.

…Wait, so the Chiba Shizuo guy is actually important?!

Idolish7 s2 13

Whenever someone says “by the way”, it means they’re changing the subject. I hate to state to obvious, but Sougo is clearly deflecting the topic of conversation from being about him.

I wonder if this guy (Haw9) is the actual Zero graffiti vandal…?

Hmph, I didn’t realise Tenn doesn’t refer to Kujo-san as his father, but…like that (“Kujo-san”) instead.

Oh hey! These are shots from Vibrato!

Most dramas can be solved with the power of Good Communication. That includes this one.

I feel like “he has a dark side” describes both Tenn and Kujo-san.

“Everyone, remember to wash your hands and gargle thoroughly.” – This is always a good thing to remember in the time of ‘rona. Reminds me of Jakurai’s line in ARB (<- this game started just after the ‘rona came down).

What did Sougo go to uni for (what specialisation)?

Idolish7 s2 14

I just realised Banri calls Momo -kun. Hmm…

Denki = electricity, LOL.

I feel like Tenn is basically Ramuda, give or take actual pink hair…guys in musical groups with pre-existing angst that they become the “centre” of. The fact Fling Posse have Saito Soma and so do Trigger strengthens the connection.

I would watch the heck out of a musical like that! Make it come true, Idolish7! (Also, today is I7 day! I’m not much of an I7 fan outside the anime, but…that’s cool!)

That shot of them jumping! I remember seeing it on the official site before!

Idolish7 s2 15 (FINAL)

There you go! I was wondering where Banri’s injury was – that was the only bit that didn’t add up for him to be Yuki’s old partner.

Hmm…Momo is 4 years younger than Yuki but 2 years younger than Banri…

This episode has a real concert vibe to it, to the point where I got startled by how loud the yell was at one point. (Even if it is mostly stills.)

LOL, lookit Okazaki!

Apparently, if you’re a hako oshi, you like all the members of a group. Someone with a green light and a pink light likes both members of Re:vale.

LOL, Usagi for Asahi beer.

…I forgot Nagi is 19.

…Ooh, I think that’s the kid from ZOOL. No wonder they needed a season 3!

That’s all. See you next time!

SLS 2

“fine and upstanding person” – That’s…hard to believe, Hayato.

I wonder how many bois Toboso designed for SLS…?

…The episode title is actually “Blank”. Not “Break”.

One of the guys’ shirts says moteki on it. That’s a period in one’s life where one enjoys more romantic attention than usual, literally “popularity season”.

The subs missed an I, so initially I knew Kiriyama’s name as “Kiryama”.

There are meant to be 2 wings, right…?

“He who controls information controls everything, right?” – For once, I’m surprised Hayato is right (and not just in that smug way of his).

“…I’m being treated like a manager.” – But Hayato is a manager! (In a sense.)

The plait guy jumps to nicknames really fast…also, why do I get the feeling Maeshima will lose the key?

I hate to say this Maeshima, but I side with your childhood friend (Kiriyama) here. As much as the anime wants me to back you, I’m watching for everyone else at this point.

That blocky building looks pretty cool. I think Zel (Archi-Anime) would like it.

Sasugai’s setup looks pretty cool, including his chair.

…hmm, Maeshima’s like me in a sense. I learn best by copying others, but memory is my best asset. If I don’t regularly train the fundamentals, I suck at everything. That said, I don’t have an eidetic memory. Also, I didn’t quite figure out Ken = Ken(sei Maeshima) until I watched long enough to connect the dots.

LOL, Derry’s. (<- reminded of a word for “butt” <- derriere)

Well, the guy’s (Souta…?) shirt does say moteki…

Kiriyama kinda looks like Jyuto (HypMic), come to think of it…Right down to his angry streak (although Jyuto has a reputation to keep as a “cool dude”, while Kiriyama is more of a Manza (Boueibu HK) and he’s more angry than he looks).

…This ED is nothing special.

…Hmm? Is that a small Terauchi and Maeshima…?

I think I’m sold for now, but I’m rooting for the other team, not Maeshima’s…not yet, anyways.

[strawberry-metal]

Ok ok, I’ll do one more unmasking and let you guys see the apology segments because honestly? I think her owning up and apologizing is just as important as her exploding like that.

Once again, all parts are from an au rp with @kazekothestrange​ Also to answer your question, anon. Kazeko is one of @kazekothestrange‘s ocs. She’s a hamon user and is the medic of the group, she is also Avdol’s love interest. All those big ass bloody wounds everyone gets in like every episode but somehow recover from the very next? That’s from Kazeko using her hamon to heal their wounds. Joseph can’t use his own hamon like that because he’s... too damn old. XD

Note though that Shanna is... kind of bad at apologizing but shes trying. This post also contains more references to how Shanna used to act prior to meeting Jotaro! Also contains some Tsundere Shanna, heh.

Also no, Jotaro hasn’t confessed yet, but their feelings are painfully obvious lol. They’re both mostly aware the other has feelings for the other, but they’re still scared to confess, mostly because danger keeps finding them.

------------------------------

Apologizing to the SDC:

------------------------------

Shanna: For fuck's sake. I'm still mad at him but I couldn't help but worry more than be mad so I had to come back. The moron is making everyone worry again....*she jumps down* LISTEN UP! I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE SO-!

Rose: Isn't there something else you should say first!?

Shanna: Oh my gooooooosh this is why I didn't want to come back, I didn't want to deal with you or you! *she gestures to Rose and Joseph* ...I'm not gonna apologize for feeling betrayed or getting mad at Rose, got it!? ....I will however apologize for my...*she folds her arms across her chest and looks away, as if this is hard for her to do* For picking fights and showing attitude. There was a big misunderstanding and I took it out on you guys. I'm mad about something else now but that doesn't concern you guys so....uh.....sorry....

Holly: *its not the best apology but shes trying, so she appreciates it* ...But you mostly came back for Jotaro, hm? ^^

Shanna: Tch. I know him well enough to know that he shuts himself off from everyone when he gets upset, and I KNOW hes upset. *she sighs* Honestly.

Rose: *she opens her mouth to say shes no better but quickly stops, knowing it'll just make Shanna more angry at her*

Joseph: *he gives Rose a pat on the back, and steps towards Shanna* I know how hard it can be to apologize. Especially when you feel like you were wronged. So thanks for that. *he smiles warmly at her* .. Sorry for almost accepting your challenge.

Shanna: ....*she closes her eyes and grins* I would of won anyway old timer! Heh!

Joseph: ... *he snorts, and grins right back* Ha! Don't you bet on it.

Kazeko: *she softly smiles from the background. At the very least, she doesn't seem angry with Joseph anymore. That's good*

Shanna: *she steps back and points at the crowd* Now listen up everyone! I'll only say this once! I am Shanna Le Brillante! I'm from a noble family and WILL be the next head, so treat me with respect! Last year I was a street fighter!

Rose: Don't tell them that!

Shanna: Now I want to become a rockstar, I guarantee you won't find someone who can shred a Warlock better than I can! I've known Jotaro for a couple months now and I will not share him! Nice to meet you!

Holly: *she supportingly claps her hands, not bothered at all but the street fighter bit*

Rose: *sighs*

Joseph: *he raises an eyebrow, an amused smirk crossing his lips* A street fighter? Looks like we have a lot to talk about! ... heh, anyway, good to meet you too, kid. I'm Joseph Joestar. *he holds out his hand* And you'd better not underestimate this old codger!

Shanna: *she raises an eyebrow. This old man....maybe hes not so bad after all* As long as YOU don't underestimate me for being young! *she accepts the handshake and returns it with a strong grip*

Joseph: Never! *with a twinkle in his eyes, he grips her hand a little harder. the hand he held out was his prosthetic*

Shanna: *she winces a bit, and there’s an impressed look on her face. Looks like his greeting has earned her approval*

Kakyoin: *he can feel the tension in the room starting to vanish. he feels some weight come off his shoulders as he watches the jovial greetings*

Shanna: *letting go of his hand, she approaches the small brunette, tilting her head up for a bit in questioning, before looking back down at her* Dunno your name, but sorry for glaring at you so much earlier. Again, it was a misunderstanding and to be honest, you in particular....made me feel jealous. I hope we can start over. I know I can be a little scary. Heh.

Kazeko: *she shakes her head, smiling gently* It's alright... I was a little overwhelmed. But I'm ok now. ... to be honest, I was worried that I'd ruined things before we'd had a chance to even talk... ... but, jealous?

Shanna: Um, I... *she turns around, her back facing her, re-folding her arms across her chest and tilting her head up, cheeks pink* It's not important! It's not like other girls being close to Jotaro makes me jealous or anything!

Rose: Ara.

Shanna: Shut up Rose.

Kazeko: Oh...? *she blinks, and her smile widens* Eheh... you have nothing to worry about. I've known Jotaro a long time. The last time I saw him, he was only this big. *she holds her hand a little lower than her waist*

Shanna: Oh. I see, so it's family relations! Naruhodo....*she lowers her hands* An-Anyway. Just call me Shanna. Nice to meet you.

Kazeko: It's nice to meet you, Shanna. I'm Kazeko. *she closes her eyes in a smile* I hope we can be friends now.

Shanna: Ah, yeah. I hope so too, let's start over, yeah? *she kneels next to Kakyoin* And you....Kak-yo-ween?  Don't worry about the...fight. I hope your head feels ok. *she reaches a hand out and ruffles his hair* What was that again? A stand? Jotaro, Rose and I have one too so...let's be friends!

Rose: !! /She...included me...?/

Kakyoin: *he leans away when she starts ruffling his hair, a little annoyed by the way she says his name, but his eyes brighten nonetheless* Ah... really...?

Shanna: Sure! I mean, why not? Yesterday's enemies are today's friends! Uh....wait that doesn't quite work in this context. Um...my point still stands!

Rose: ...Shanna, his name is pronounced Kakyoin.

Shanna: Oh crap uh, sorry- *she rubs the back of her head sheepishly* We've been in Japan for about two years now I think. I'm afraid my Japanese still isn't very good. Hope I don't offend-

Holly: She once called Jotaro, “Jotato”~

Joseph: Snnnrkkk... PFFFTTT-!! JOTATO!

Kazeko: Pffu-!!

Kakyoin: .... snrrrrr.... !!! A-Anyway...! It's alright... um... thank you. Maybe... we can be friends. *in spite of his lukewarm reply, he looks happy. deeply happy*

Shanna: *she looks embarrassed now that everyone knows about 'Jotato'* Mm, ok. Think on it! I'm sure we have many more things in common! *she stands back up* HOWEVER! For now, I have a broody friend I gotta drag out of his room!

Rose: How do you know hes in his room...?

Shanna: *she places her hands on her hips* I can read Jotaro perfectly. I mean hes soooo obvious you know?

Rose: He....he is? o_o

Joseph: *he smiles. his recently grouchy, closed off grandson... he was lucky to find someone like this*

Kazeko: Don't let us keep you, then. We'll be waiting... and I'll reheat the tea. ^^

Shanna: Thank you, I look forward to the tea. *with that, she leaves the room rather quickly, knowing exactly where to find him*

------------------------------

Apologizing to Jotaro:

------------------------------

Jotaro: *staring blankly at the ceiling as he lays on his futon, the raven haired male sighs. maybe he could have done something differently and avoided this whole thing... what kind of a friend was he if he made her think what she did?*

Shanna: *it doesn't take long for her to make it to his door, she knows this place like the back of her hand, since she comes over so often. Resisting her urge to just barge in, she knocks on the screen door first* ....

Jotaro: ... *he looks at the door out of the corner of his eye. it's probably his mom, or so he thinks* ... What?

Shanna: *she slides the door open* The hell you mean 'what'?

Jotaro: *hearing her voice, he sits up in surprise* ... Shanna...

Shanna: Yes I know, I'm surprised I'm back too. *she steps back in, sliding the door closed behind her* Look. I'm still mad. It's irritating but even when I'm mad at you, my worry for you outweighs it, and as I thought, you closed yourself off from everyone.

Jotaro: ... you know me. *he averts his eyes* ... I didn't feel like being around the others.

Shanna: Yeah I didn't either. Look, I uh. I really do hate myself, you know that, but at the same time, I got this annoying ass pride going for me, probably because I got a noble family tied to me. But uh....*she sticks her hands in her skirt pockets and looks off to the side* L-Look. I'll just get to the point. I'm sorry I got so mad at you, and that I still am. It's just...*she sighs heavily* It felt like I didn't mean anything to you, and that you didn't trust me. I mean it when I say that you mean alot to me, ok? So even when I found out the truth, it still hurt, alot. Because while you stayed put when I ended up crying over you, some guy pissin' you off made you come out.

Jotaro: ... *he listens quietly, his eyes on her the whole time she talks. he knows where she's coming from, really he does. and when she finishes, there's a short silence before he answers her* ... I'm sorry. ... seeing you cry hurt. ... but even if you pissed me off, I wouldn't have come out for you. Because when you're involved, I can't... I can't take any chances I might hurt you. ... I didn't want to hurt anyone, but especially you.

Shanna: *she opens her mouth to speak, but instead closes it to think over her words* ...I...get that. You act tough but deep down you're soft. *She glances at him before averting her gaze again* ...I was jealous...alright? I was jealous because a couple of old people and their friend could get you to leave and I couldn't. It made me feel powerless, untrustworthy and... it's stupid but it made me question how you feel about me, and I took it out on them, especially your grandfather and Ka-Ka...Kaaaa.....uh- that lady. ...I was a bit overdramatic earlier about how I'd rather die than be around my sister and your grandfather again, and I'm sorry for that too. I tend to just blurt out words when I'm over emotional instead of actually thinking them over. I already apologized to your family. I'll get out of your hair now. You should... get out of your room, everyone is worried about you. *she reaches for the door and slides it open*

Jotaro: .... Wait. ... Please.

Shanna: *she takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, silently telling herself not to push him away and actually hear him out this time. Turning back around to face him* Mm?

Jotaro: ... I should have come out when you were there. I should've known Star would never hurt you... but you should have seen him. It was like someone let a demon out of hell. ... I wasn't thinking right. ... *he goes silent for a few moments, thinking over what he should say* ... I don't blame you for feeling betrayed and pissed. ... and I still wouldn't blame you if you went home. ... but... I'd be happy if you stayed.

Shanna: Gosh, you always make everything so damn complicated. *she blows at her bangs* I don't understand why you'd still want me around, especially after having an argument like we did... though then again, there's alot I still don't understand about you. ....I hope I can figure it all out, someday. Just when I think you're easy to read, you confuse me again. ....Heh. *she closes the door again, staying*

Jotaro: ... *he smiles, just ever so slightly* ... you figured out this much in a few months. ... You'll probably have it all in a year.

Shanna: Yare yare, what a pain. *she steals his phrase, kneeling down on the floor beside him, reaching a hand out to flick his forehead* Baaaaka.

Jotaro: *he opens his mouth to say 'oi, but then she flicks his forehead* Fuck.

Shanna: Fuck you too. *she closes her eyes and grins*

Jotaro: You know that's not what I meant. *he smiles back and pulls her into a hug*

Shanna: *she opens her eyes, blush creeping across her cheeks as she slowly reaches her hands up to hug him back* ....m' sorry for making you cry, too.

Jotaro: ... 'ts fine... *he mumbles* Long as you don't tell anyone.

Shanna: Nah. I embarrassed you enough today in front of everyone.

Jotaro: Oi, don't say that. *his grip around her tightens* ... they'll forget about this by tomorrow. ... well, I don't know Kakyoin. But everyone else will.

Shanna: ...Mm. *she buries her face into his shoulder, it feels like it's been too long since shes been held like this again*

Jotaro: ... *he gently rubs her back, shifting his position to make it comfier for them* ... I missed you. I know it was just a couple days but I missed you, damn it...

Shanna: Yeah, I missed you too...we would see eachother every day so missing eachother for that long felt wrong...

Jotaro: *he nods against her, nuzzling his face into her hair*

Shanna: ....Myu..*she leans forward till they both flop to the floor, moving her head to keep her cheek rested to his shoulder, still blushing. A bit of their everyday lives is starting to return*

Jotaro: ... *he can't help but smile. that 'right' feeling of having her small frame laid on top of him is finally back*

Shanna: *she curls up ever so slightly* ...I'm still not gonna share ya.

Jotaro: Me neither. *he retorts, giving her a squeeze*

Shanna: Pff-! There’s no one to share me with anyway, baaaaka~ *finally, she gives him a nuzzle, like she always used to*

Jotaro: *at this, he smiles, warmly and genuinely as only she can get him to* That's cause I won't let any other guy try anything.

Shanna: Fufu....ufufufu! Then our feelings are mutual~ /Ah. With that in mind, maybe I should be careful how I interact with the new guy, Jo might get jealous-/

------------------------------

Apologizing to Avdol, who has no idea what the fucking shit happened but he appreciates it anyway:

------------------------------

Avdol: I thought I heard alot of laughter back here. *a smile makes its way to his face* It looks like everyone is friends now?

Rose: Hai. Sorry for my sister's trouble earlier.

Shanna: Oi, I can apologize for myself.

Avdol: *he shakes his head* Don't worry about it. You have room for one more?

Holly: Of course! Avdol-san, was it? Please, join us!

Kazeko: I saved a spot for you, Mr. Avdol. *she scoots a little further to the side to make more room*

Joseph: Come join the 'party', Avdol~

Jotaro: *wrapping an arm around Shanna's shoulders, he exhales softly. he thought this would be annoying, but... it's not so bad*

Avdol: Thank you! Don't mind if I do, then! *he takes a seat next to Kazeko, giving her an appreciative smile before grabbing a cup* Did you make this, Ms Kazeko? Mm. It smells great~

Kazeko: I did, thank you...~

Shanna: So uh....Avdor?

Avdol: HAH! No, no. Avdol.

Shanna: Ah. Ok...um...Avdol then. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry we uh...got off to a rough start.

Avdol: *he shakes his head* It's fine, you apologized, and that's enough for me. My full name is Mohammed Avdol, I'm a fortune teller from Egypt. Nice to meet you.

Shanna: *Ahem* Yeah? Well listen up, I'll only say this once-!

Rose: Don't repeat all of that again to try and sound cool.

Shanna: *she huffs in irritation* ....I'm Shanna Le Brillante, you can just call me Shanna. Last year I was a street fighter, but now my dream is to become a rockstar! AlsoI'mnextinlineastheheadofmyfamily.

Rose: Pff....~

Avdol: Ah...then Miss Shanna it is~

Shanna: ....J-Just Shanna is fine. /////

Kakyoin: *he finds himself smiling more to himself. This is.. nice. It's unusual, but he doesn't feel as uncomfortable as he did before*

Joseph: Hahah! Get used to it, formalities are a habit for him! *he grins, giving his friend a pat on the back* I finally gave up on getting him to call me by first name.

Shanna: Heh! I hope you don't mind me being informal Avdol, I don't mean to be rude, it's just that, well... how do I explain this without getting flustered....

Avdol: *he chuckles* Don't worry about it. Avdol is fine. Miss Kazeko, thank you for the tea. It's green, right? *he takes a sip, enjoying the taste*

------------------------------

Apologizing to Rose after finding out about Dio and shit:

------------------------------

Shanna: ....*she holds her tongue on them being in danger for months now*

Jotaro: *he pulls her close to his side*

Kazeko: It must be hard to hear... your life's been fairly normal up until now.

Holly: *she nods* But...hopefully...these four can be safe now. Papa, Avdol-san, Kazeko-chan...please be careful?

Shanna: *she leans against Jotaro, feeling a little better from his comfort*

Rose: ...Kakyoin-san, your face has been quite red for awhile now. Are you ok?

Kazeko: Of course Holly. Mr. Avdol and I are here to make sure your papa stays safe. *she smiles at her softly, placing her hand on hers* You can trust us.

Joseph: Oi, Kaz, don't talk about me like I'm still 19! *he looks miffed* I don't run in recklessly half as much as I used to!

Kakyoin: Uhm- ah! *he blinks, his eyes darting away and to her a couple of times* I-I... I'm alright, really. ... /I-it's that obvious...? I hope I haven't caught a fever.../

Jotaro: ... *after making sure everyone is distracted first, he leans down and kisses the top of her head*

Shanna: ...*she smiles a bit...how long has it been since hes given her kiss since he got stuck in jail?*

Rose: *she raises a hand and places it to his forehead* You're burning up, I'll get another cloth for you so you hopefully don't catch a fever.

Holly: *she chuckles softly* F-For now, let's focus on enjoying the present.

Avdol: Yes, a life was saved today, it is a most joyous occasion!

Joseph: That's right! *he grins, hoping to pull the mood back up* Kakyoin, call your parents and tell them you're spending the night at a friend's house. I think we could all use it!

Kakyoin: Th-thank you... *he lowers his eyes, he definitely felt hotter when she touched him*

Jotaro: *he risks giving her one more kiss, then squeezes her to his side* /More later./

Kazeko: It's been a long afternoon... it's almost 5. *she gets up* Holly, Mr. Avdol, do you want to help me make something for dinner?

Shanna: *she blushes from the second kiss* /Y-Yes, please.../ Kakyoin! *she raises up her hand in a peace sign* Tell them you made three new friends at school today! One guy, and two beauuuutiful girls~!

Jotaro: /Good, cause I want to give you a lot./

Rose: *she blushes* Sh-Shanna!

Shanna: It's true!

Holy: *she claps her hands together* Yes, let's cook a wonderful meal together!

Avdol: I'd be happy to help out~

Kakyoin: A-aha... I-I will... *he only blushes harder, smiling as he gets up* ... they'll be happy to hear that I made friends on my first day...

Kazeko: Great, thank you both very much~

Joseph: when you're done, Kakyoin, I need to call the Foundation with this new lead. But there's no hurry, alright?

Kakyoin: H-hai.

Shanna: Well, with that, Rose, how about we spend the night too? It'll be like a sleepover!

Rose: Aren't you mad at me though? What you said earlier...

Shanna: ...Please forget what I said. *she lowers her head* That was....ridiculous of me. I shouldn't of said what I did. I was being a brat and you called me out on it, and I responded by being an asshole. I'm sorry. The truth is I am still a little upset, but I’d like to move on.

Rose: *her eyebrows upturn* ....Apology accepted.

Avdol: *he smiles at the sisters seeming to recouncil about something, and he leaves the room with Holly and Kazeko to help prepare food for everyone*

Kazeko: *she stays behind for a second, relief flooding her features. thank goodness...* Girls? Kakyoin? Is there anything you don't like in food I should keep in mind?

Kakyoin: *he jumps slightly at being called as he's leaving the room* M-me? Ah... no, I'm not terribly picky. But thank you.

Shanna: No tomatoes, please!

Rose: No onions for me, and if spice is involved, please make my portion mild.

[pietromelim]

James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs' First Night

Takes place after Chain of Gold so will have spoilers!

Cordelia stood before the mirror of her new room,in which she would wake up in at least for a year.

That was James' plan to save her reputation,after what she did in order to free him from his guilt of burning down the Blackthorn Manor. Cordelia didn't really knew what to expect of all of this.

Today their marriage had occured. It was quite a beautiful ceremony. Everyone was just so full of joy and happiness for them. Even if they didn't knew that it was actually a Mariage Blanc.

That meant that the reason for their marriage wasn't love. And that was true,at least for James. Cordelia loved him,she always had loved him. But James loved someone else.

She was there at their marriage,her expression blank as always. Grace Blackthorn,no longer trying to escape her mother's clutches,and engaged to Charles Fairchild.

If Grace was being sincere when she offered her compliments for her and James,Cordelia couldn't possibly know,she never knew when it was about Grace. James seemed troubled when he saw her.

It wasn't easy. Unrequited love was never something easy,and Cordelia didn't expect to ever face something like that in her life. Perhaps someday James would love her,or maybe she would love someone else.

Right now,in her golden nightgown,she didn't knew what to expect of the rest of the night. The ceremony of Shadowhunters' wedding ended in a very intimate act.

She had already marked James with his wedding rune on his hand,and so did he. But there were two runes,one should be marked on the heart. That moment was definitely one of the most specials for any couple. But Cordelia wasn't going to get that.

At least,not in this wedding.

It was a shame,really. Her mother,Sona,was so happy when she gave Cordelia that golden nightgown,it was a rare moment,after so many difficult episodes,Sona didn't smiled very often.

But she was so happy,Cordelia remembered very well.

-This is a special gift Layla! I'm quite sure you are going to love it!-Sona had said.

-Maman,there really is no need for more gifts. The parties that Mr. and Mrs.Herondale have offered are enough.-Said Cordelia.

-But this is my gift for my daughter! Oh Cordelia! Your life is only beginning! You and James are going to be so happy! You are going to live one of the most important moments of your life! This is for the first night you will have as Cordelia Herondale.-Sona said.

She opened the box that was on the bed and revealed a golden nightgown,one of the most beautiful nightgowns Cordelia had ever seen.

-It is...I barely have words!-Cordelia said,she couldn't help but smile.

-You deserve this my daughter! For your happiness!-Sona said.

Cordelia blinked,as if she had just woken up from a dream. Too bad,maybe the nightgown wasn't really needed.

She heard the door open,and James entered the room. He was still wearing the gear men had to wear for the ceremony. He looked absolutely handsome in black and gold. It suited him so well.

Only the silver bracelet didn't really fit with the colors. "Loyalty Binds Me",it was a gift given to him by Grace a long time ago.

James had been thinking about the words of his Parabatai during the ceremony. Matthew Fairchild sometimes had the amazing talent to speak the perfect truth,even if he was a little drunk.

"Don't take me wrong,Jamie. I just don't want you to accidentally ruin Cordelia's reputation. This is a Mariage Blanc,after all.-Said Matthew.

"What exactly are you trying to say,Math? I would never do anything that could somehow harm Cordelia in any way. I am really grateful for what she did to me. This marriage is the only way to guarantee she will be able to marry again someday.-Said James.

-I know,i know. What i am trying to say is that you shouldn't expect from Cordelia a different behavior than that of a friend. You said it yourself,this marriage has a different purpose than most marriages.-Said Matthew.

-I know it has. And i don't have any expectations towards Daisy. This marriage was my idea,it was my plan. I'll carry on with it. It will only be for a year. Though i don't quite get this whole behavior thing.-Said James.

-Don't expect her to behave like your wife. At least not in private. You know how the ceremony usually ends. Do the right thing James. I have faith you will.-Said Matthew.

Matthew was absolutely right,James knew that. He didn't put much thought in this thing of behaving. For the other's eyes,they were a happy couple,but in truth,they were only friends.

As Will and Tessa had promised,a special room in the Institute was prepared for their use. It would be their room for a whole year. They would have to share the same bed as well.

It was surely a weird thing. Sometimes James asked himself if he wasn't betraying the love he felt for Grace. He could have been married to Cordelia,but Grace was the only one for him.

On the other hand,she was also engaged. But Grace was excellent in hiding her feelings,even James didn't really knew what she truly thought of the whole marriage situation.

But James wouldn't talk to her for a whole year. He promised himself that he wouldn't cheat on Cordelia,even if the marriage was not for real. She didn't deserve such humiliation.

She was in the room already,dressed in her nightgown,the color as gold as James' eyes.

Her red hair was loose,and it fell on her back like a sea of flames and autumn leaves. James couldn't deny that Cordelia was absolutely stunning.

She turned to look at his face. Her bare feet on the wooden floor. She looked calm,as she usually did. Even though they still had another rune to mark on each other.

James sat on the bed,getting rid of his shoes and socks. Wedding gear wasn't exactly something one would like to use while sleeping.

Cordelia sat beside him. Her expression changed,and James realized that. She looked rather...anxious.

-Is everything alright,Daisy? You must be tired,it was quite the night,was it not?-James asked,smiling.

Cordelia felt a sudden need to kiss him,but she was able to control herself. He was her husband now,but that didn't mean she could take any action.

-Indeed. Have you enjoyed your night, James?

-Of course! Not bad for a first wedding,i guess.-He said,laughing.

Cordelia wished she could laugh as well,but for some reason,nothing seemed capable to make her smile now.

-We still have to finish the runes. Shall we get this done quickly?-Cordelia asked.

-Sure.-James said,taking a moment to really look at the woman who was now his wife.

Cordelia Herondale. Strangely,the name did seem to have a nice ring to it. When he was younger,he had always dreamt of the day he and Grace would be together and married. That dream seemed to be so distant now.

But Cordelia wasn't far from him. She was there at his side,where she seemed to have been for quite sometime now.

-You look stunning.-James whispered,causing a chill to run over Cordelia's veins. If his voice had that effect on her,the rest would definitely be something else.

Not that she would ever know.

-Thank you James. Could we just get this done quickly,please? I am quite tired.-Cordelia asked.

James blinked. He needed to remember Matthew's words. They were not married,not for real.

-Yes,sorry.-Said James,pulling of his shirt,revealing his bare chest to Cordelia.

The witchlight in the room gave a weird and romantic atmosphere. Looking at James' body like that was a sensation she wouldn't forget so soon.

Cordelia approached him,the stele in her hand,her hand getting closer to James' heart. She stopped when she saw the bracelet.

She was almost running out of patience. She knew James didn't love her,and that he didn't knew of her true feelings. Still,it was not easy to see that bracelet there. It was almost like a constant reminder of Grace and James' love for her.

-Can you please take that off for a moment?-Cordelia asked,grabbing a hold of his arm,and retrieving the bracelet.

James didn't had time to protest,suddenly,it was like everything around him got clearer,sharper. Like he could see everything that surrounded him.

Including Cordelia.

-Daisy. My Daisy.-James said,and pulled Cordelia into his lap,kissing her with a passion he didn't knew he had in him.

It was almost like the Whispering Room,but definitely better. He could feel Cordelia's dark,warm,soft skin on his hands. She placed her hands around his shoulders,deepening the kiss.

James started to kiss Cordelia's neck,he could hear her moan,in delight. They were both completely lost in those feelings.

-James,wait,stop,please!-Cordelia said,panting. She seemed lost.

-What is it? Am i doing something wrong?-James asked,worried.

-If you are doing something wrong? James,i-i-i thought you loved Grace!? This isn't how we should behave at all!-Cordelia said.

Grace? Why she would want to talk about Grace now? She didn't even crossed his mind for a second.

-We are not doing anything wrong Daisy. Grace is engaged to Charles,there is absolutely no reason for me to think about her. And i don't see anything wrong in your behavior,Mrs.Herondale.-James said,smiling.

-What? Mrs.Herondale?-Cordelia asked,incredulous.

-Yes. You are my wife now. You are Cordelia Herondale. Isn't this how a married couple should behave?-James asked.

It took a moment before Cordelia could smile to James as well. Perhaps there was still hope for the love she felt for him.

She was Cordelia Herondale,after all.

-You are absolutely right.-She said,and managed to remove her nightgown,revealing herself to James.

James stared at Cordelia,completely amazed. She was beyond gorgeous,all her curves and shapes,the runes on her skin.

-You are perfect. I have never seen a girl as beautiful as you.-Said James.

Cordelia threw the stele away. They could do that some other time.

-You are so gentle. James. My Jamie.-Cordelia said.

James embraced Cordelia,and layed on top of her in their bed. His hands were exploring everything in her body.

-James,i want to be yours. I have always wanted.-Cordelia said,nearly breathless.

James nodded. He was her husband,and he definitely felt something very strong for Cordelia. If he didn't,they wouldn't be married.

James removed the rest of his clothes,their skins in complete touch now. They were one.

They didn't had to say they loved each other,their actions spoke for themselves,as if shadows and flames were bringing life back to a love that had always existed.

A love that was more than ready to burn completely this time.

[gwoongi]

𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖺 ♥︎ jeongguk (ft jimin)

𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖺 jeon jeongguk / reader (ft jimin) genre: pornstar au, smut rating: explicit words: 7391

This position is particularly ambiguous; your face is almost gone, only slightly in frame, with the lens zoomed further in to your ass and Jeongguk’s thighs, his ass there but moving as he leans for the lube across the bed. If he wanted, Jimin could pretend the figure beneath Jeongguk was a boy- could be him, if he wanted. He does not want. 

a/n: literally nobody asked for this. yes, the namjoon sequel is coming soon, so don’t worry about that :-) it’s time for baby boy jimin to have some fun <3 also this exposes my desire to eat koos ass. its pretty i just wanna nom nom :3

warnings: graphic sexual content, porn themes, fingering, anal fingering, anal sex, rim jobs, sex toys, dirty talk, bisexual jimin, ass eating, really slight blasphemy, overstimulation, anal virginity, daddy kink, mommy kink, koo and y/n are freaky okay, probably an unrealistic interpretation of pornhub livestreams, whore-shaming (?), cock slut shaming (?)

Jimin was bored. With most of the fraternity out for a party that Jimin was sadly not invited to (not that he exactly cares for parties held by Jackson, because let’s be honest, he doesn’t really like the guy), Jimin sat at home on his bed with the telly flicking with a show he cared little about, the pictures talking silently.

“Please tell me you’re going to be home,” Jimin had begged, clinging uselessly to the oversized sleeve of Kim Namjoon, who reluctantly pulled away from his fisted hands and grabbed his coat from behind the door. Sorry, little man, I’ve gotta get out of the house more. “But I’m going to be all alone. I’m the only one who wasn’t invited to that shitty party.” I’ll come home early for you, if you’d like. “I would not like. Just go, get out of my face.”

Namjoon didn’t know what else to say other than sorry, patronisingly running his fingers through Jimin’s hair. Unlike Namjoon, who had already spent two god-awful years at University, Jimin was a newbie, a first year, dipping his toes into waters to figure out which one he liked best. Namjoon shrugged his coat on halfway, tossing Jimin the phone charger he asked for moments prior. Try to entertain yourself, he had said. Watch porn. Hey, I just recently found a new porn duo to watch!

That’s how Jimin found out about koopid, the porn couple that his Big, Namjoon, had been locked in his room jerking off to. With rooms joined by one thin wall, Jimin was unsurprisingly familiar with the channel, never invested enough in doing his own research, mildly sexually frustrated by Namjoon’s rutting mixed with the unnecessarily loud volume of his laptop. If he can help it, Jimin doesn’t usually watch straight porn. He never denies it, but he’s an experimenting bisexual- pretty sure he likes both, and his history of girlfriends and boyfriends throughout high school prove it, but he’s not quite sure where he stands yet, or where he’s comfortable standing. He sits in his bedroom, alone in the fraternity miles away from Jackson’s venue, his laptop blinking on Google waiting for a command to be punched in.

On telly, a re-run episode of Friends comes to an end and Jimin watches with mild boredom as it switches to an advert, advertising a new bleach that is guaranteed to remove 98% of bacteria from inside your toilet. He turns off the telly, sighing and looking over at his laptop, the Google tormenting him with a grin: I know you want to. I know you’re tempted.

Jimin sighs to himself, dragging the laptop over to his thighs and almost guiltily typing the phrase koopid into the search engine. He’s half expecting nothing to really show up, because Namjoon has creative porn taste and they’re probably not that popular. However he is embarrassingly wrong; the search floods with links to lewd videos, the official koopid channel being the top search. On Google Images, he quickly presses and sees the slightly grainy faces of the couple, a picture from Instagram that he sees as quite romantic. The boy holds the girl with his chin pressed into her neck, a smile on his face and the camera not exactly centred. Jimin’s instinct is to coo, and saw “aww”. He’s not expecting much from koopid when he clicks on their channel. It’s just another straight couple having sex, it’s nothing he hasn’t already seen.

His eyes widen slightly as he takes in the fifteen videos, spotting the red button indicating that the channel is currently live. He’s tempted to click in, sit back, see what they have to offer. The livestream title reads “10k thumbs up and i’ll let y/n eat my ass”. 

It’s so very tempting, but Jimin pauses with his cursor hovering over a video titled, “first time doing anal with y/n”. The thumbnail is an inviting image of quite possibly one of the nicest dicks Jimin has ever seen in straight porn, the tip red and exaggerated and in preview, the thumbnail moves for a few seconds, showing a small asshole stretch to accommodate the dick, the whole length disappearing. He’s conflicted, half off the bed with intentions to run and get his box. The box, with dildos of every shape and size. When the thumbnail clip loops, Jimin misses it, already on his feet and crouching to get the box from underneath his dresser.

When he gets back to his bed, Jimin notices that his hands are trembling. In the drawer next to his bed is his lube, a strawberry flavour that he’s never indulged with before. Today he will, and he grabs that alongside a dildo that looks uncanny in resemblance to koopid, save the colour being a solid bright purple. He shakily moves it beneath him as he slips out of his jeans, pressing and tightening with discomfort as he looks back at the screen. He wants to feel guilty about this, but there’s nothing to feel guilty about. And, nobody’s home to hear him or see him, and for good measure, his bedroom door is locked.

Once he clicks on the video, there is no turning back. His body trembles as the video begins to play and he’s greeted with the view of a girl on all fours, her head tossed over her shoulder to stare at the camera. She’s pretty, really pretty, already naked for the audience. Jimin stares wordlessly, because what is he supposed to say? On each asscheek, Jimin notices that the boyfriend is particularly ruthless, faded palms still lingering upon the skin that strangely resembles silk, or marble, or soap. He quietly hears the boyfriend mutter a polite introduction, introducing the pair of you to new watchers like Jimin. He hears a Jeongguk and a Y/N, and it’s evident who is who.

Jeongguk shuffles into frame, pressing his hands to each cheek and palming softly. You respond by letting your head fall slightly, rolling the kinks out as Jeongguk sinks deeper on to the bed, until his face is in view. Jeongguk’s smart, and he knows what people like. They like seeing him, all of him and his face and yours, in various positions and conditions. Unlike the porn videos Jimin sees of overly acted situations, where the girl gets caught out after curfew and is punished over a desk, hands bound with the leather of the guy’s belt, Jimin is slightly taken aback at how fast Jeongguk jumps into things- his own cock is out, bulging and huge as expected, and he doesn’t let the audience know what he’s doing. Everybody knows; they can read the title, they can hover the mouse over the timeline and see the frames.

The hand rested upon your right asscheek begins to move in circles, stroking it affectionately as the other hand belonging to Jeongguk slides down the length of your leg. You shudder when his fingers feather across your thigh, twisting inwards to cloyingly play in the warmth. Jeongguk pulls your legs further apart, your cheeks slightly widening with the view of your hole being all Jimin can currently focus on. To the side, Jeongguk grins and chuckles quietly, hot air breathing out of his nose. He likes what he sees, because he’s never been up close and personal with it before. Anal was the promised land that he had not been granted entry to, until today, or rather this morning, when he had rolled over in bed and slipped an arm around your waist, kissing your hair and said, “hey, good morning, wanna do anal later on camera?”

Jimin watches in an expressive silence, timidly stroking his dick as Jeongguk claps his hand against your ass, the sound loud and sharp. A loud moan leaves your lips and Jeongguk pulls apart your cunt from behind, the lips barely visible from the angle but still there, definitely. He idly curls a finger around the wetness, lubricating his fingers. From where he is kneeling, he side-glances at the camera and smirks, holding the inside of your thigh with his left hand and curling his right up, all the way until his one soaked finger tauntingly circles your hole, as if daring to enter, and then slips inside.

The feeling is new, foreign, and you hadn’t anticipated the tight feeling of his finger curling inwards, exploring. Jeongguk lets out a noise of interest at how you shudder, writhing gently and without really noticing, pushing back onto his finger until it entered all the way to the knuckle. Jimin thumbs the head of his dick, silent; Jeongguk marvels at the way you fuck yourself onto one finger, his mouth in an open smile that left his mouth dry. He swallows thickly, impressed.

“Wow, baby girl,” he comments, finally, and Jimin can now hear his voice, “look at how you’re fucking yourself onto my finger. You’re a needy girl tonight, aren’t you?”

You whimper in reply, maybe even say something that Jimin can’t hear.

“Let’s add another one,” Jeongguk suggests sweetly. “You take one like a champion, let’s see if you’re wide enough for two.”

He adds a second, his middle, twisting both fingers in right up to the knuckle. From where the camera stands on a tripod, it gives way to a gorgeous view of your hole, clenching tightly around the digits. Jeongguk laughs warmly, satisfied with the results. It’s close enough for Jimin to hear sounds, the slick and almost sticky sounds of wetness from Jeongguk’s fingers, coated in the thick layer of arousal and lube he had tossed somewhere, an extra coat for ease for the camera. Every so often, Jimin would spot Jeongguk looking at the camera, at the viewfinder to see if you were still in shot. You carried yourself on your arms, your ass and hips raised upwards with your back in what looked like an uncomfortable slope, a position Jimin sympathised being in once or twice.

“Mm, perfect,” Jeongguk says slowly, dragging it out like he did his fingers. They are almost free, until he pushes them back in, practically glowing with pride when you groan out, pushing back onto his knuckles. His fingers sink deeper inside of you, tickling inner walls and finally scissoring, stretching you open in anticipation for a third finger Jeongguk had waiting. You’re tight, tighter than Jeongguk had ever seen you since the first time you had sex together two years ago, that virgin hole Jeongguk had the honour of ripping apart. “You look so perfect, baby. Can you manage a third?”

You nod with effort, “Yes, Daddy.”

“You don’t have to call me Daddy tonight,” Jeongguk offers. He wants this one to be personal, in respect of firsts being mutually taken. You whimper in reply, not in the mood to reply with words. Jeongguk continues a pace with his fingers before adding in a third, letting out a hiss of air at the tightness closing in around his fingers.

“Shit, you’re so tight.” Jeongguk groans to himself between his teeth, ramming his fingers in and out to get a feel for every single space inside of you, “Nobody’s ever fucked your ass like this, have they, baby?”

“No,” you breathe out, trying to look back at him over your shoulder. “Just you, Guk.”

He makes a noise of content, pressing a kiss to your ass and then slapping it with his free hand. You jolt, sinking up and down off his fingers. “That’s right. Only I get to fuck you like this. Fuck- you’re so tight, imagine what it’s gonna feel like with my cock in there.”

“Puh-please, Guk,” you rasp, slumping slightly against this sheets. This time, they’re pale pink, like the colour of unripe strawberries, the stinging colour of your asshole once Jeongguk pulls his fingers out. “Please fuck me already. Please.”

Jeongguk, like always, pretends to think about it. He addresses the audience, finally, by looking back at the camera with furrowed brows, as if genuinely conflicted on if to give in and fuck you. Jimin’s hand is still moving around his dick slowly, his own ass rising off the comforter.

“Alright,” he replies, almost indifferently. He even throws in the shrug of his shoulders, his body oozing with charisma that makes Jimin bite down on his lips to contain a whimper. The intimidation always scares people into desire. “Toss the lube, and move so everyone can see your ass.”

Jimin wriggles uncomfortably, not being able to relieve anything by simply touching himself. Instead, he gapes at the screen, thankful the webcam is covered so his assigned FBI agent can’t laugh at him for being so obviously sexually frustrated, rutting into his own hand as you shuffle across the bed on all fours, still slightly tight around the air as you drop with a slight huff, assigned to the side. This position is particularly ambiguous; your face is almost gone, only slightly in frame, with the lens zoomed further in to your ass and Jeongguk’s thighs, his ass there but moving as he leans for the lube across the bed. If he wanted, Jimin could pretend the figure beneath Jeongguk was a boy- could be him, if he wanted.

He does not want. But, he still imagines, even with you there and patiently waiting for Jeongguk to hurry rubbing the lube across his dick, up and down. Jimin can’t help but gape at the size in Jeongguk’s hand, which is already large and veiny, but he concludes that the bigger hand makes Jeongguk’s cock look bigger, scarier, more erect. It’s so big that when Jeongguk lets go, it stands to a salute up to his stomach, the tip nearing his belly button. Jimin groans, reaching behind him for his own lube and the dildo that he almost forgot about.

It’s as if Jeongguk is giving Jimin time to prepare; instead of being ruthless and shoving his dick inside the tightness, Jeongguk pulls apart your cheeks with fingers and licks around your hole, collecting up the juice he left there from his fingers, a mixture between the cherry and the sweet taste of your pussy, the juices clinging to be tasted. He groans into you, taking kitten licks around the rim and taking extreme pleasure in the way you moan against him, your ass square in Jeongguk’s face. 

Jimin hurriedly coats the dildo in lube, almost excessively, licking up the remains off his smaller fingers. He stares at Jeongguk’s hands in longing and his teeth gnaw on his lips as you moan relentlessly, tight and girly breaths of pleasure that Jimin never thought he’d like hearing. Jeongguk’s own cock twitches against his stomach, the length staring at Jimin and being the only thing Jimin can keep his eyes on.

He fiddles with the dildo, feeling his face warm with a crimson heat. On the other side, Jeongguk pulls away from your ass and kisses your right cheek again, muttering something in a low voice that the camera barely picks up. I love you, he says, between quiet pursed lips. Jimin wants to cry.

Jeongguk moves your hips, deciding on where he’s going to have you. Eventually he decides to have you at an angle where the camera captures your hole perfectly, clenching around nothing, surely with enough frame space to capture his cock moving in and out. It can’t be that different from doggy, from one of your first videos on the channel where he took you from behind with a fistful of hair. You were blonde back then. Jeongguk and Jimin both prefer the dark colour you have presently, and the way it makes your face look brighter, adding an element of sensuality that Jimin wasn’t sure was possible for a head of hair.

“You took my fingers so well, baby,” Jeongguk tells you, prodding your ass with his hands as if preparing himself for the penetration, “but let’s see how well you take my cock.”

As always, Jeongguk wastes no time. It was like he suddenly feared that the lube around his cock would dry, for he prods your entrance with the tip, hissing softly as he pushes it in. He begins slow, as if stomping his foot on ice to see if it would hold, and then, once the tip is in, Jeongguk grunts and rolls his shoulders, the bottom of his back clenching with muscles on display until he finally sank his whole length inside you. He groans, his hands gripping your waist line with vigour and he slowly began to move his hips, moving in slow waves in and out. His movements were experimental yet professional, still candid enough for Jimin to almost believe this tape was amateur. Grabbing the dildo situated under his hips with one hand, Jimin, without looking away from the screen, aligns it with his ass and slowly sinks down on it, his head immediately rocking back at the feeling.

Jeongguk becomes more familiar with the feeling and the movements, understanding that an asshole really was no different to a pussy, except the feeling inside and the placement. To him, and to porn, it was just another hole to shove his cock into. He moves quicker, finding the strength inside of him to clench your hip-bones and pull them down onto his cock, the rhythm so consistent that after a few short seconds, the clapping arises.

Jimin watches from his bed, his reflection slightly visible in the screen, the pathetic view of him bouncing up and down on the horrendous purple dildo. He stares long and hard at Jeongguk’s fat cock, his mouth practically watering at the way it fits perfectly in your hole, each thrust coming out with a wet and slick look, the vein bulging. Jimin wants to finger his mouth, like a whore, but he resists, instead shyly reaching down and grabbing his cock as Jeongguk maintains a pace.

“You’re taking my cock so well, princess,” Jeongguk grunts. Usually, he can keep his composure, keeping up the act of the boyfriend who likes to fill the boots as the boss. Tonight, however, he’s sloppy, slacking on duty. He’s a boss neglecting his reputation and duties, his head filled with sawdust as he focuses on your ass, and the tightness of it around his dick. For a while, it feels almost hard to move, the need to stand still and let it become familiar overwhelming but at the same time dangerous. He wouldn’t want to upset the ratings. Literally, he can’t afford it.

The stretch burns, your eyes rolling back with powerful pleasure and your body feeling as though it was a clump of jelly, wobbling and sliding around on a plate, each tip sending you closer to the edge. You moan with almost every thrust, the way everybody likes it, and from underneath your armpit, you spot Jeongguk’s thighs, the occasional glimpse of his balls slapping against the backside of your pussy.

“Yeah? Tell m-me,” you gasp out, crooning to him. “Tell me how good I feel around your big dick.”

Jimin hadn’t been expecting a sudden role reversal, and by the sounds of it, neither had Jeongguk. Without having any prior experience fucking with koopid, Jimin reckons this may be the first time on record that Jeongguk has been dominantly submissive. What he lacks in vocals he clearly makes up for with physical ability, your words sending him into a rutting fit of fast pace, his dick hitting sensitive spots inside of you. Jimin whimpers to nobody, to Jeongguk, to you, as the dildo brushes his prostate, rubbing against his insides. It’s big, and Jimin closes his eyes to pretend it’s Jeongguk. 

He’s so caught up in the fantasy that he can physically imagine the feeling of Jeongguk’s large thighs on either side of his body, his hands that are big and veined holding his tiny body like he was a prized China doll. He wants it so bad, he pictures it perfectly. The thought sends a ripple of tingles throughout his body, a rush of erotica to his cock and it throbs, it hurts and it twitches, erect, touching his stomach. Jimin fingers around his slit, other fingers lost in the short wisps of hair, meanwhile the other hand holds the dildo in place so it doesn’t slip out.

“Mm, baby, you feel so good around me, you’re so good,” Jeongguk praises, his voice unusually breathy and lost, as if he’s struggling. Perhaps he is; it makes Jimin cry out with pleasure as the dildo hits the spot, Jeongguk’s dick inside of him hitting his good spots, making little Jimin horny. “Shit. Your tight little hole is making Daddy feel so good.”

So he’s bringing Daddy back, Jimin thinks. He feels guilty suddenly at the lack of attention he’s giving you, and you’re delivering a spectacular performance, the moans high enough to sound like his own, when he likes them to be. He focuses on that, pretends everything about you is him. For a moment, Jimin eyes the shape of your tits hanging underneath you. He makes a promise to himself that next time, he’ll watch one where you’re the star. You’re too gorgeous for him to ignore you, to shrug you off as if you don’t matter. Without your ass, he wouldn’t be feeling this good.

“Yeah?” you pry. “Do you like fucking my ass?”

“Mm, I love it,” Jeongguk agrees. He lets one hand go off your hips and snakes it underneath, where no doubt, he’s playing with your cunt, threading his fingers through the wetness as if it’s the same casualness as flicking through the newspaper. You barely bat an eyelid, grinding further onto him. “I love the way you make me feel. Always so good for Daddy. Hm? Huh, look at you.” He thrusts sharply up, and you cry out with surprise. “Look at how your ass takes my cock. You’re such a little cockslut, so desperate for my dick.”

“Yuh-yes. You’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” Jeongguk replies cockily, regaining his own slipping dignity. Jimin doesn’t care if he plays the role of dominant Daddy, or submissive slut. He just cares about the fake cock up his ass and the computer screen.

Underneath Jeongguk, you whimper out a moan, that leaves pitifully like a whisper, practically unheard. You want to scream, tell everybody and the neighbours about how good it feels, how full you feel with Jeongguk’s dick inside your ass, going so far inside that the air is knocked out of you. Rendering you speechless, almost. In fact, you’re so cock drunk that you have nothing of use to say, nothing erotic to mutter to your boyfriend as he relentlessly pounds into you, feeling his own energy bite back. He slaps your cunt once when he notices you’re being quiet, silent, and that’s not good for ratings. Or for him- Jeongguk likes to hear you, he likes to hear whatever nonsense is coming out of your mouth as he fucks your brains out, to the point where you can’t even make sounds, let alone sentences.

Jeongguk knows your body as well as he knows his own, spotting the signs of an approaching orgasm. He had every intention to deny it, finding a tremor of satisfaction at the thought of seeing you crying, begging violently to cum, please, Jeongguk let me cum. He can hear it if he focuses. But it’s the first time he’s ever been a big boy and put his dick somewhere else besides your cunt and your mouth. It’s special. He wants it to be.

He moves, his dick moving with him inside of you, brushing against sensitive spots that are still unexplored, like levels waiting to be unlocked in a video game. As Jeongguk shivers and readjusts, Jimin lets out his first physical sob, not noticing he’s milking his second orgasm of the night. When was the first? He thinks it was when you took control, those dirty words coming out of your mouth. Like an angel taking sins from the Devil, like a nun hiking her dress above her hips to flash her cunt to the Father. Erotic. Sinful.

“Are you close, princess?” Jeongguk asks sweetly, his voice not loud but also not too quiet, a soft volume that the camera picks up well enough.

“C-can’t hold it much longer, baby,” you admit to him, trying to see him over your shoulder. The sex is heavy, holding you down in restraint. “Can I cum again?”

“Again?” Jeongguk laughs, genuinely. Jimin practically spits out a moan. The audience like it when Jeongguk and yourself break out of character. It reminds them of who you are, reminds them that you’re in love. You’re listed in the Verified Couples category, so the audience have got to be looking for the love somewhere. “Ah, greedy girl.”

“I am, I’m so greedy, so selfish,” you splutter. “Daddy makes me feel so good. I wanna cum again, just for you. Juh-just for Daddy.”

Jeongguk makes an elevated noise, as if he’s just been told something he didn’t know, like he’s been secretly given knowledge nobody has, Chinese whispers.

“You’ve been so, so good for me,” Jeongguk says, “so patient. Your ass is fucking perfect, baby. Just wanna fuck it all damn day.”

Gladly, you moan to that. Jimin feels his cock throbbing in his hand, the tip so sensitive that if he were to brush it with his hand, he might cry. It’s red, and abused, but ready for more, he can feel it. His balls are swelling- he wants to be fucked so badly. He wants to feel a dick inside of him, be filled up with cock, have a warmth around his like Jeongguk has. Nothing about koopid makes him feel different sexually other than the fact that Jimin has never been so entertained with straight porn in his entire life. He wants to thank Namjoon, but thinking about Namjoon is too dangerous right now. Jimin might spend too long thinking about him, and that would do him no good. Somewhere along the way, the dildo changed from Jeongguk’s cock to Namjoon’s, but only for a split second, until Jimin forced the thought away.

“Cum inside me?” you ask sweetly, finally finding the strength to pick your head up and glance at Jeongguk over your shoulder. He nods, a smile on his face and you match it, only briefly and the camera doesn’t capture it anyway. You lean back down, gathering every last breath of energy by pushing your ass up higher for Jeongguk. He hums appreciatively, spanking you as thanks.

“Every time I spank you from now on, I want you to thank me,” Jeongguk explains, preparing for the build up to the end, “I want you to say, thank you Daddy. Can you do that for me, angel?”

“Yes,” you reply with a newfound determination, that drips from your voice confidently. Jimin wriggles his hole around the dildo. His ass is so sore, overfucked, but he can’t get off.

Jeongguk stops moving around you, steadying you around his cock and then, without warning you, bringing his hand sharply to your ass. It’s the left cheek, the one with the fading prints and bite marks. It’s going to be the cheek that hurts the most, but Jeongguk likes that it hurts. He counts in his head: one.

“T-thank you Daddy,” you squeal after the first clap. It only comes as a surprise because it was one.

Jimin snakes a hand up his body, fingering around his nipple. “Thank you Daddy,” he whispers.

Two.

“Feels so guh-good, Daddy. Thank you.”

Jimin bounces heavier. “Mm. Daddy- feels-”

Three. You cry out. It hurts now, the sting worse because of the way he’s done this recently, spanked your ass until it was red and sore, until you couldn’t sit down.

“Mhmpf! T-thank...thank you, Daddy.”

Jeongguk makes the hum, his signature hum that collects comments. It sends a wave of excitement through Jimin, the sound clear in his ears. He wishes he had his earphones in, so he could hear it closer, pretend Jeongguk was whispering it in his ear. His shy hand toying with his nipple moves to his throat, and it clenches for a few seconds, the choked out string of Daddy crossed with timid Jeongguk’s leaving his lips like leaves blowing in the wind. Then his hand moves up, and he shoves his fingers into his mouth. He can take a couple, his reflex isn’t bad.

Jimin thinks he passes out for a few seconds, because when he opens his eyes, his vision is blurry and he chokes around his fingers, staring at the screen with wide eyes in time for the grand finale. Jeongguk is muttering something that Jimin can’t make out, but he isn’t sure if it’s because of the weird feeling in his body. It’s like he’s underwater. He’s so overfucked that he feels faint, but he’s not giving up on koopid, not now. 

Jeongguk groans loudly (again), and thrusts himself inwards for the final blow, and the way his body stutters violently and his thighs tremble, Jimin suspects he’s finished. It’s confirmed when Jeongguk, after a moment of catching his breath, pulls his dick out of your ass.

The sound is splendid, the squelch matching Jimin’s as he lifts himself up off the dildo, saving his asshole in preparation for tomorrow morning’s soreness. Your asshole clenches around the absence, still not fully aware of Jeongguk pulling out, but he falls down to his knees, using both hands to part your cheeks like he would hair if you were being sick, revealing the way his cum rolls out of you again, out and around your thighs. A trail even creeps down, all the way to where Jeongguk suspects your pussy is, pulsing with pleasure. He knows you’ve come multiple times, he can tell by the way you’re slouched, your hips still rutting as if trying to fuck the air, fuck the ghost he’s convinced stalks the apartment.

Jimin quickly presses the back button.

He doesn’t know what has come over him, but he needs to see you both, doing real things, to confirm that what just happened was real. Jimin heads straight for the live feed, wondering if you’ve already hit that 10k. When the tab loads and the screen fills with the sight of your tits in front of the screen, Jimin ignores and looks at the likes. 9,992. It’s so close.

Jeongguk sits underneath you, his chest against your back and his hands somewhere in front of you, curling to cup your sex as you rub against his palm. It’s like feeding a pony, as you jut your cunt on his hand like it’s your life mission to do so. You’re talking, and it’s the first time Jimin acknowledges the fact that koopid is a channel of real people, a real couple, who do and say human things.

“Ah, only five more likes,” you say, tossing your hair to the side and lifting, revealing Jeongguk’s coy expression over your shoulder. He’s biting against your neck, and Jimin can see his tongue running flat against the skin. He hums, as expected, in acknowledgement, his hand moving against your pussy. He dares slide a finger in, to tease, and you hiss with a grin. The likes are on 9,999. Jimin realises he wants absolutely nothing more than to see Jeongguk getting his ass ate on live camera by his girlfriend.

So he clicks like.

A little heart floats up on the screen, like on an Instagram live. When you notice it rising up like a stray balloon, you grin wildly, laughing as Jeongguk thrusts fingers into your pussy, not looking at the screen, sucking solar systems into your neck. Jimin’s username flashes on a banner at the bottom of the screen: 10,000th like from angelchim.

“Woah. angelchim, thank you so much!” you giggle, grinding your ass onto Jeongguk and finally your boyfriend looks up. He squints briefly at the screen, playing like he can’t read the banner, but he can. He sees the likes increasing as more people come in. Someone must have shared the link, or they’re only gaining likes for the title. He smiles.

“Well, a promise is a promise,” Jeongguk says evenly. He looks up at you, his hands creeping up from your waist to your breasts, so perked and slightly small. He cups them and you rise with a pleasurable sensation that sends him giggling under his breath, so oddly childlike that Jimin does a double take, and then Jeongguk releases you, tapping your skin and shuffling into position.

From somewhere in the fraternity, Jimin hears a door open. He pauses and looks towards the door, momentarily missing Jeongguk get on all fours and spread his legs, revealing a well groomed ass that he would have liked to see. It’s clean and gaping; the audience suspect Jeongguk’s no stranger to things being put up there. He looks like the type, one comment laughs. Jeongguk’s a cockslut too.

Jimin wonders silently who else is home. It might be nobody, and he’s hearing things. There’s an even chance that it’s Taehyung, a second year who keeps to himself mostly and studies art, locking himself away on evenings when there aren’t any major parties, painting. He doesn’t remember if Taehyung’s gone to Jackson’s party with everybody else. For a moment, he’s embarrassed that Taehyung, or whoever is home, has heard him fucking himself, but the thought disappears when he turns back to the screen and sees Jeongguk’s ass in the air, a grin on his face as you take the role of Boss.

“I don’t want to hear you calling me Y/N, or baby, or angel, or anything,” you tell him, the voice of authority thick and it makes Jeongguk laugh. It’s just a game to him, for now. It’s only a game until you’ve shoved a finger in there, or licked at it. 

Jimin’s weirdly attracted to both sides of you, and both sides of Jeongguk. He’s too tired to fuck himself again, or even entertain the thought of touching himself. So instead, he sits back and hikes the comforter higher up over his body, his cock still out between his legs, semi-hard and sore, and he watches the stream like it’s a tv show on in the background. He’s nonetheless invested, not being able to pull his eyes away.

“Okay,” Jeongguk nods. He gets it. “What should I call you, then?”

You mock his hum. “You can call me Mommy tonight. Okay?”

Jeongguk nods awkwardly against the bed, strangely excited. You’re smothering your fingers with lube, undecided on which one should go inside. It’s all so exciting, taking control. Jimin writhes, too tired to pretend physically but he lets his thoughts wander- Jeongguk lives the most perfect life, an equal balance of fucking his girlfriend and being fucked by his girlfriend. He’s flexible, and excited when you gently prod a finger at his asshole. Jeongguk fidgets, eager and restless. Any other day, he might be cautious of your nails, slightly sharpened at the end, because he likes the way it feels against his skin when you cling to him, digging deep enough to draw blood when he’s done. He likes the marks the next morning. He likes hurting when he knows he’s hurting you.

Jimin gets to hear Jeongguk moan submissively as you slide a finger in, and then another, because Jeongguk and his asshole are bigger, and he’s a big boy. He can take two right away, even when he squirms.

“Mmf, Mommy,” Jeongguk starts. He breaks off, unable to say anything for a few seconds as you wiggle your fingers around inside of him, clawing him and making him shudder. The comments are going crazy. For some reason, they didn’t think you’d follow through and finger him, but as Jeongguk rightly said, a promise is a promise. “Feels so good.”

“God, look at you,” you laugh humorlessly. “Look at how you’re fucking Mommy’s fingers. She’s only just started.”

He pushes his hips backwards. “Luh-like it when you touch me, Mommy. I like it when you finger me like this.”

“Mm.”

As Jeongguk whimpers, you decide to curl your fingers upwards, touching and feeling around inside. It’s about time he gets a spoonful of his own medicine, a taste for his own torture. He likes it, he groans with a smile, his eyes searching to find you over his shoulders and when he spots your eyes on his, he winks.

“You can add a third, Mommy,” Jeongguk offers, faking a sweet tone that has a few commenters giggling. Jimin smiles, too. He wishes he could cum, he wishes he could fuck his hand, but he’s too tired, too fucked out. “Doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Hm,” you reply, “only since you asked nicely. I’ll add a third, and I’ll get right to business. Is that okay, baby boy? Hm?”

“Yuh-yes, Mommy.”

“Good boy. My good little boy.”

His ass shifts, wiggling almost in a taunt and you shove your three fingers in without a word of warning. Jeongguk groans with discomfort. He’s had dildos, toys, everything and anything up his ass, both before and after he started dating you. For some reason, the sensation of your three fingers up his ass feels different, not wrong but also not good just yet. He gives you a moment to adjust, finding a rhythm and eventually, after his hips move and he finds himself, he begins to feel the coil in his lower stomach tightening.

“Feel good?” you ask, almost shyly. The last thing you would like is to let him down.

He makes a noise of agreement. “Yes, Mommy. Yes, really good.”

“You sure?”

Jeongguk blinks, quietly saying, as if off the record, “Y/N, this feels amazing. It’s okay.”

Jimin feels like he wasn’t supposed to hear. It’s like when you’re in the loo and somebody comes in, spilling secrets to a friend by the sinks, applying lip gloss in the mirror. You’re not in the conversation, not wanted in the secret exchange.

It puts you at ease, enough for Jeongguk to spread his legs further, shuffling back until his foot accidentally hits your thigh. He grunts, as if blindly finding his way around, and you shuffle right between his legs, following his movements from the video Jimin just watched. You pull your fingers out after a few minutes of fucking, and Jeongguk moans with a high tone when you pull away, moving your hands to his ass cheeks. The camera captures Jeongguk’s face in frame; he looks small, tiny, with cheeks that are round and full now that his face is flush on the bed, his waist looking tinier now it’s arched and in the air. The only thing intimidating about Jeongguk now is his thighs, still large and muscular and scary in their own unique way. Jeongguk whimpers furiously, tears choking at the back of his eyes with a burning sting that is ripped away by a sob when you smile at the camera, and lean in within the same second, pressing a little kiss against his hole.

Jeongguk shudders. You move back in, spreading his cheeks further with your hands and guiding his ass back to your face. You start with licking the rim, like licking sugar and lime from around a shot glass. Jeongguk moans, and fingers the quilt covers. With your tongue flat, you lick at his hole, mocking those same kitten licks as he once did, for a few moments anyway until you both grew comfortable, and you continued licking at his hole, prodding and drooling. He tastes natural, as expected, crossed with the coconut body wash that he used in the shower before the livestream, the same body wash you used at the same time, sharing a shower together with your skins flushed and hot and wet, bubbles as bikinis.

You have to admit to yourself, in a private intermission, that you’ve never eaten an ass before. You had a temporary girlfriend when you were fifteen, because you were hormonal and confused and she was the prettiest girl in school. You’d eaten her out, but it was her pussy, and you’re certain that at some point during high-school, there had been another girl. You can’t remember, your eyes closed as your tongue milks the taste of Jeongguk’s ass. He preens, pushing it against your face slightly with his face buried in the covers.

“Muh-mommy,” he cries. “Oh-fuck.”

“Feel good?” you ask him, your mouth muffled against him. He nods with a moan, although it sounds just like a messy noise, a noise you’d find on a porn soundboard. You smile proudly, being selfish yourself. It feels good knowing you’re the first girl to eat Jeon Jeongguk’s ass, and on camera too, for 28,000 people to see. Jimin sits back with his head on the headboard, staring through heavy half lids. He quite likes this view, this role reversal. He quite likes Jeongguk with his ass in the air. He watches for the finish eagerly, soaking every scene up like the last drops of ice-cream dripping down the cone.

“Ngnh, can’t hold it any longer, Mommy,” Jeongguk wails. He fists the sheets, looking at you underneath his arm. He can’t see your face, only your cunt. He doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter. “Please let me cum.”

“You want to cum?” you repeat. “How badly?”

“S-so badly,” he moans, and his eyes clench closed. “Please. I’ve been good. You’ve made me feel so...so good, Mommy. It-it hurts, p-please-”

You hum tiredly, almost as if what he’s mumbling is boring you. You lick one more time, pushing in as he clenches around the tip of your tongue. It makes you want to laugh, and slap his ass, but he’s already done so much. You grant him the permission he begs to cum, and he does- reaching your hand around to cup his tender balls, Jeongguk clumsily spills on the sheets, the thick white substance leaking not only through the baby pink but also splashing up onto his stomach, getting stuck in the thick curves of his abs. Jimin sighs happily at the sight, high on life and the way Jeongguk squirms like a newborn baby bird who has discovered flight, still clumsy and frantic. His body is shaking, trembling like a glitched video game character, his hips stuttering with his orgasm. He groans with it, and then laughs, perhaps at his own realisation of what just happened, and where and to whom.

Jimin types at the keyboard his first comment: you look absolutely beautiful baby boy, and Jeongguk sees, sending a warmth burning in Jimin’s chest. Jeongguk spots the comments amongst other familiar icons and users and he smiles, his eyes disappearing into pleasant crescent moons.

“Ah, thank you, angelchim. It was an honour getting my ass ate in front of you, I hope you enjoyed.”

“Oh, I did,” Jimin replies breathily, and he’s about to type the comment when a knock thuds at his door. Jimin pauses, hyper-aware of the fact somebody is home. They don’t make another sound, just a knock and then a loud sigh that Jimin recognises to be in the voice belonging to Taehyung, as he suspected.

“Jimin, I’m sorry, I know you’re clearly quite busy-” he emphasises quite, and Jimin wants to vanish into the bedsheets, pretend he’s not home, - “but I text Namjoon about where the hell my phone charger is, and apparently you have it, so if you could please bring it out to me, I would very much appreciate it. You can finish...whatever it is you’re doing in there. I’ll, uh. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

And from the stream, Jeongguk laughs. It feels weird, because given the timing, it’s as if Jeongguk’s laughing at Jimin, at how humiliation creeps up his neck and to his cheeks. Everybody watches porn, he thinks. And he’s in a frat, now. He should wear it with honour, just like Namjoon had told him. He looks over at Taehyung’s charger wrapped in a snake cord by his box and he smiles. Tonight has been unsuspecting, but clearly, way better than anything Jackson could have ever given him.

[krisroley]

February 9th, 2021

One Small Moment

Today I want to talk to some specific friends who I won't name, but I'm fairly sure that this will apply to way more of just them.

First things first, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by giving you a bunch of platitudes. In my experience, they're nothing but empty calories. Filler and no substance, they're designed to make the person giving them feel better, not the person who needs help. In some cases, people who need help end up feeling worse. I'm one of those people, so I absolutely understand the feeling. So, no bullshit from me. Cool? Moving on.

Let me describe my lack of bona fides right upfront. I'm a guy with a high school education and one year of college because I let my dick do the thinking up to the point that I ended up homeless and friendless. I tried to follow in my Dad's footsteps and join the military and washed right out after six months because I have a mouth bigger than my brain. I come from a family that describing as dysfunctional is exceedingly generous. My dad had anger issues, my mother was a narcissist manipulator, as is my brother. He's got a criminal record and is probably on his way back to prison for at least 12 years as I write this. I'm the voice of reason in my family, and as I have said repeatedly, this should scare the fuck out of you. I got married at 24, and I had three kids by the age of 30. I've been dirt poor most of that time. At this stage of my life, I believe that I am an undiagnosed case of autism from the 1970s because my kids--all of them--are on the spectrum. I didn't have a bad childhood if you looked at it from one angle, but I had a horrible one if you looked at it from the inside out. I inherited my Dad's anger issues and my mother's narcissism. I was a horrible husband for years until my wife walked out on me in 2005. It made me face myself in a way I had not seen before, and I couldn't take it. I had a nervous breakdown. My wife thought I was worth saving, and I am forever grateful for it. I promised I would work on my issues, and I have. Three times in my life, I thought I was at the end of my rope. Not from a thought of suicide ideation, just that there was nowhere else to turn. No one else to ask for help. No one else I could lean on. Just Roley.

That moment right there is the point. The entire lesson. One small moment when your brain says, "Well, you're really fucked now, aren't you?" There is only one answer to that question, and that answer is yes because if you answer no, you ain't there yet. Trust me on this. You have to answer yes. This is the moment where you're accountable to no one but you, and you cannot lie to yourself. You can TRY. It ain't gonna work. Not for long.

Let's not bullshit ourselves. There is a lot of work in repairing a life that you fucked up on your own. You climb up out of a hole for years before you ever see daylight. I was a shut-in for two years because I thought it better that the world forgets about me. I tried to make a living from home in 2006-2007, but this world we live in hadn't come to pass yet, and I was living a fantasy. It made me feel worse that I couldn't provide for my family, but I could barely function as a human at that point. So I decided to do the only work I was capable of: Working on myself. I read every self-help book and mental health book I could lay my hands on. I dug deep into myself to try to figure out why I was the person I was, how I became that way, and the answer was straightforward. First, I thought I was absolutely normal. My behavior, though abhorrent, was how I was raised. My parents treated each other and us kids horribly, but it wasn't physically abusive save for a couple of times I'll keep to myself. I grew up in the same environment I perpetuated. I was continuing a cycle. Secondly, to accept that fact and to change meant work I wasn't ready to take on. But human psychology is a lot like a car in that regard; you can do the work now, or you can do it later, but it's going to cost you a lot more. In my case, it almost cost me everything. It was the third of those three times that I faced myself in the mirror and heard that voice, and this was the time I said yes.

For two-thirds of my life, my story is a story of failure, of self-hatred, of being a bad example. But from the age of 35 to 50, it's a story of repair and redemption. I'll put my humble path to today up against anyone's and dare them to do the work I've done to heal myself and come out who I am today. I'm still married to the same woman for over 25 years now. I've got three amazing kids who I adore. Up until May of this year, I had what I consider to be a dream job until COVID ate it, but I'm still with the same company, and I'm going to bust whatever amount of ass it takes to get my job back or demonstrate the skills I learned there to someone else who's willing to take me. I have a sense of self-worth and purpose that I've never had before, and I'm not taking being a call center tech support agent for the rest of my life. It is a means to an end, and it is not my life's work. I know what that is. It's helping you in the best way I know how: By being not the example of how to fix it, but from showing you by my example, it CAN BE FIXED that you can go from being a person full of anger and self-loathing and cruel behavior to being a person of kindness and compassion and love for people. That you can go from being a person who has no prospects to a person who can go to a job every day that fulfills them personally and professionally. That you can go from being a person who hasn't got their shit together at all to a person that can get morning to night without falling apart at the seams. This is my road, and my lane, but it's big enough for you, and I want you on this road with me. Some of you are gifted and talented beyond description, but the world doesn't know it yet because you have these problems. I know. I get it. I also see who you are, and the world deserves to see you as well. I had no one else to turn to at that last moment, so I did what I had to do. Myself. I'm asking you to take a walk with me because I don't want you to have to do it on your own. I may not know your way home, but I can get you as far as Anchorhead. You can get transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going.

I had to get one joke in there somehow.

Did Joe Know About This?

On the heels of the news of Joe Budden maybe-kinda-sorta-moving his show to Patreon (which is weird since it looks like it’s being hosted on Libsyn now), Spotify has announced plans for multiple business models for podcasts, possibly to include ad-supported subscriptions and a la carte options. These may be discussed at a live stream event later in February.

Asked if Spotify thought customers would be willing to pay for podcasts, Ek on the earnings call responded that he believed there were several new models that could be explored.

“I think we’re in the early days of seeing the long-term evolvement of how we can monetize audio on the internet. I’ve said this before, but I don’t believe that it’s a one-size-fits-all,” he said. “I believe, in fact, that we will have all business models, and that’s the future for all media companies — that you will have ad-supported subscriptions and à la carte sort of in the same space, of all media companies in the future.”

“And you should definitely expect Spotify to follow that strategy and that pattern,” Ek added, more definitively.

The answer seemed to indicate that Spotify is considering some of the ideas in that recent survey — of getting consumers to pay for some podcasts, instead of accessing them all for free or having them bundled into their music subscription.

I wonder if Budden was aware of this and balked. Would there be a revenue split between Spotify and the creators, and what’s the ratio? Now that I think of it, isn’t that what they’ve been crying about re: Apple?

For more than a year, Spotify has been making noise about Apple’s unchecked power over the App Store, and in March 2019, it filed a complaint against Apple with the European Commission. Spotify claims Apple’s practice of taking 30 percent of an app’s revenue is unjustified, and says the company operates as a monopoly on iOS.

Suddenly, I find this Budden/Spotify deal more intriguing.

Wait, You Can Make Money Doing That?

Julie Miller from Vanity Fair writes about Hollywood coming over to the Pod Side for ‘fun and profit’:

…entertainment types began orbiting the audio space about two years ago in earnest, as the number of Americans listening to podcasts every month headed toward the 100 million it is today. It was also around 2018 that agencies like CAA began incorporating audio deals into their development packages. One insider estimates that many celebrities could get a six-figure guarantee per year, with the biggest actors receiving between $1 million and $3 million to launch an unscripted podcast. Scripted projects offer less up-front money but can be adapted into TV shows, films, books, and so on.

For the record, I am Steve Jobs, “Podcasts are Amateur Hour" Years Old. For years, podcasting was seen as less-than, so when I see stories like this, the little imp of the perverse in the back of my head tosses a bone at every true media elitist who, strangely, has a podcast now..

How About Not Doing That?

Chris Curran over at PES has a question about your thin mouth:

When I’m doing my fine-tuned editing on a podcast episode I use TwistedWave or Sound Forge because they allow me to VERY QUICKLY zoom in, highlight very small things like single mouthclicks, and delete them. 

When I try to make the same kind of edit in a DAW (Reaper and others) it takes forever. 

What say you?

For the most part, my workflow tends to remove mouth clicks, or at the very least minimize them. If they still show up through my noise gate, I highlight and remove them. I can’t say this happens often because I like to make sure I keep some water near me while I’m recording. The single biggest thing you can do to prevent mouth clicks is to keep hydrated. Remember, you can’t fix it in Post if it never happens in the first place.

Shot Of The Day

[meredith-fabray]

saturday vignette || mer+thea

WHO: Meredith Fabray + Thea Baker WHEN: 12/05 WHAT: Mer and Thea cuddle on the couch watching Grey’s and being fluffy.   WARNING: an obscene amount of cuteness.

@devtheabaker

Meredith Fabray

They had a marathon going of Grey’s on Netflix.  It had been their thing back when they lived together.  The past year had been so hard that she had failed to keep up and was a full season behind.  They were five episodes in, cuddled up together under a blanket in their old Christmas pjs.  “Uggggh I miss Derek.”  She whined.  Although to be fair she whined about that almost every episode since he died.  “And I miss Callie.  Where the hell is Callie, Arizona fucked up but that doesn’t mean they had to take away my favorite person?”  The blonde snuggled in a little closer with a pout.

thea baker

Saturday had been everything that Friday wasn't; calm, relaxing, quiet.  Their pajamas were just as comfortable as she remembered, and the sensation of being curled up in peaceful relaxation with Mer was something she'd treasure.  "Your favorite person?" Thea asked, raising a manicured eyebrow before giving Mer a kiss on the top of her head.  "It really was mean of them.  I'd suggest a letter writing campaign, but I don't think anyone does those anymore."

Meredith Fabray

Smirked at the look Thea gave her.  “My favorite character.” She corrected and the smirk fade into a smile at the kiss to her head.  “I’m sure those get trashed nowadays like most post.”  She turned her head and stole a small kiss from the older woman.  “You are well aware that you happen to be my favorite person.”

thea baker

Much better," she chuckled.  "I'm sure you're right about that, no one has time to read letters anymore."  The kiss brought a new smile to her face and light to her eyes.  "I'd assumed," she teased, "but I was suddenly worried I needed to compete with Callie.  And I just don't know if that's a contest that I could win."

Meredith Fabray

Another kiss was stolen.  “I’m not sure anyone would ever be able to compete with you.  Not even Callie Torres.”  The smile and the light in her eyes made Meredith feel content, she loved making Thea smile, it was the absolute best.

thea baker

"Well, that puts me in pretty elite company.  Because I know that you don't put many people ahead of Callie Torres."  Ignoring the show for a moment, she rested her head against Meredith's.  "God, I missed you.  I hadn't even realized how much until you came back into my life."

Meredith Fabray

“She’s up there with Cosima and Delphine.”  She swooned a little at the thought of all her favorites.  With their foreheads touching, her smile softened into a warm expression.  She soaked in the closeness they shared and let it relax her even further.  Her heart skipped a beat at those words.  “The feeling is mutual.  It’s like part of me has been missing all these years.”  Her words were soft.

thea baker

"True, I don't know if anyone could ever touch those two," Thea grinned.  "I know," her voice and expression both softened, "that the road back hasn't been easy.  And I'm sorry for that.  But I'd be lying if I said I also wasn't grateful.  That whatever pain you had to suffer led you back and let you find your mark.  Let you be here, now."  Thea leaned in, lips ticking Mer's ear in a playful whisper.  "I just pity your poor tastebuds."

Meredith Fabray

“I can’t even express how it feels to have you here during this chapter in my life.”  It was like a second chance to do things right.  “I’m grateful too... I’m not sure I’d be doing as well as I am without you in my life.”  That was the truth. And just like that Thea had Meredith giggling.  “You’re nursing them back to health and making up for lost time!”

thea baker

Thea's smile was caring.  "You've got me, anytime you need me," she promised.  "So whatever you need, if I can provide it then you come find me anytime."  It was good to hear Meredith laugh, and it pleased Thea that her little joke had been appreciated.  "It's been a delicate operation, but I think they're coming back to life."

Meredith Fabray

“Thank you.”  She knew those words were a promise and they meant the world to her.  “I will.”  More giggles followed.  God, it felt good to laugh.  It felt good to relax and be silly and stupid.  It felt good to flirt and cuddle and know exactly where she stood. “Well, with an expert at the helm I expect nothing less.”

thea baker

Thea felt much like she'd travelled back in time.  They were young again, without the years and the distance that had separated them for too long.  And it was the most wonderful thing she could have hoped to experience.  "I think we need to make Fridays a scheduled thing.  You, me, and some wonderful flavorful food that makes us happy."

Meredith Fabray

“Do you?”  She grinned.  “I mean, I love the idea but I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”  She gave a little shrug and smirk.  “You won’t be rid of me until Monday morning.  Sunday night at the earliest.”  The smirk faded into a teasing smile.December 7, 2020

thea baker

"I do.  Very much," Thea promised.  Meredith's little smirk mad her smile in return, and she chuckled at the good natured warning.  "You really say that like I'd have a problem with it, and I guarantee you that you're very wrong there.  I'd love nothing more than for you to be over all weekend."

Meredith Fabray

Thea’s laugh was quite literally the most perfect sound she’d ever heard. “Fridays...” the blonde smiled. “... and the rest of the weekends in the foreseeable future are officially yours.  And the ball.  And Christmas.  I’m not overwhelmeing you with my face, am I?”  She teased, stealing a small kiss.

thea baker

Playfully, Thea pulled back a little and furrowed her brow, reaching up to pinch Mer's cheeks and study her chin.  After a moment she grinned.  "I really like your face, as it turns out.  So you're definitely not overwhelming me with it, and I'm going to have to go shopping for a Christmas present pretty soon I think!"

Meredith Fabray

The blonde tried to keep a straight face as the brunette inspected her but she couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past her lips.  “I really like your face too.  And I’ve already started Christmas shopping.  Working on that stocking has been super fun.  Also- are we picking out matching pjs or winging it and surprising one another?”

thea baker

Meredith's giggle was impossibly cute, and Thea laughed in return.  "I'm very glad you do, because I don't think I can change it now."  Her eyebrows shot up at the admission, although she really should have known.  "Look at you, being all prepared.  That stocking is going to be the most fun part of the holidays, I think.  Oh, good question - I think matching, yeah?  I'd like a picture in our matching pjs."

Meredith Fabray

Mer gave a lopsided smile at the loom she got.  “Oh, c’mon, you know me, are you really that surprised?”  Another little laugh left her.  “I take Christmas seriously.  And I’m not completely done yet.  I agree-matching sounds good. We should look into those today so they get here in time.”

thea baker

Thea snorted.  "No, I'm really not.  But I had to pretend at least a little.  No more surprised than you are that I haven't started my shopping yet."  It was good to hear that Meredith was happy with the idea, and she nodded agreement.  "Definitely.  We'll do that at some point and make sure they're in the mail before bed tonight."

Meredith Fabray

Dropped her head back and laughed.  “True.  Very true.”  It was surprising that one person could make her happier than she’d possibly ever been but she wasn’t questioning it.  “Perfect.  Can’t wait.”  They were -that couple.  Wait were they a couple?  She didn’t know and she didn’t really care, she just knew that she was happy.

thea baker

Meredith's laugh sounded carefree, and Thea had to admit to a bit of pride that she heard it and her claim - who had never deserved her - never got the chance.  "Perfect," she agreed, pulling Mer close again and letting herself begin to watch the tv once more.  She could still feel the warm body against hers, though, and she didn't forget about it for a single moment.

[theangrypokemaniac]

I'll state from the beginning that the images below display the sort of sweet synchronicity to which only love can give life:

MaAndPaShipping is the best ship, and here are five reasons why:

1. It Made James

Like the boy do yer? Ever felt the slightest tingle of warmth at the mention of his name?

Well get down on yer knees and give thanks to his mother and father for gifting him to the world!

Where would we be without their remarkable commitment? Could James have grown into the dandified dream boat of your desires if deprived of the safety provided by his parents?

Had they not brought him up, he'd be dead, The Dog of Flanders fantasy made reality. If miraculously he survived, foraging in the wild is not conducive to a foppish personality.

Is that to yer fancy? No? Then let's have a little respect. The luxury Ma and Pa gave enabled his macaroni tendencies to reach such heights.

Their love created him! How can it not be celebrated?

You lot would ship Jessie's parents but you can't, because she has no dad, and I don't suppose you'll ever assent to his obvious identity of Windy Miller, although 'Jessie Miller' has a wonderful ring to it, so what can be done?

Should a Pa Jess be conjured for the purpose, he still buggered off, didn't he? Where's the allure in a faithless git?

I can't comprehend the obsession with Ma Jess. As soon as here she's stiff, and what is there to remember but coercing her daughter into eating snow?

Hey, I named her. What more do you want from me?

I'd rather have the living, visible ancestors, if you don't mind.

Yeah, says the history fanatic.

Why not make the most of the chances offered, and follow a devoted couple whose love made a difference to your existence?

2. Canon!

There are many ships which I find repulsive for involving depravity, or absurd as the subjects haven't met, or don't inhabit the same fictional universe.

Video et taceo: I see and I say nothing.

Neither does anyone. Forcing decent folk in to incest, bestiality etc. is quite alright.

Perverted ideas are left alone, but woe betide a Rocketshipper, because that's offensive.

It may be the only original ship left standing, with proper evidence and sanctioned by Nintendo, but no, it's fair game for undermining. People pick at your arguments, quibble constantly and NEED to register their objections NOW. You MUST be made aware of opposition. You're not to be permitted your views the way those with twisted tastes are indulged.

Why, out of tens of thousands of combinations, does making Jessie and James an item provoke hostility?

The strength of negativity actually serves as validation, for why be so concerned if it's an impossible relationship?

However sick they are, I'm not anti any ship. I can't muster sufficient interest to do it, and if I scroll on, I forget. I certainly don't attack those responsible.

Anti-Shipping is inherently nihilistic for promoting loneliness. They aren't against Rocketshipping through wanting Jessie and James to be with someone else, as an alternative is not readily available, so the outcome of it is neither finding a companion.

MaAndPaShipping attracts no sourpuss silliness, for 'tis canon beyond question. There's nothing about being 'just friends' when married with a son.

How's the state of your O.T.P.? Not looking too clever I expect, and what's your contribution: wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying?

Cast it off! None of that longing is necessary in these quarters, as MaAndPaShipping is a fait accompli.

Hallelujah! Wallow in that Love!

Don't you yearn for at least one ship that all of us accept by default, to the extent these aristocrats are spoken of as a single unit?

Across the internet, Ma and Pa are bracketed as 'James's parents', never 'he' and 'she', always 'they', barely counting as distinct characters. That's how undeniable the love is between them. Sheer indifference has awarded it a blessing from everyone.

MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Of course, now I've drawn attention to it the moaning will start, but we all know a spoilsport when we see one.

If they had any legitimate complaints they ought to have mentioned 'em before this piece highlighted the marriage!

Except it won't have occurred to 'em previously, proving the eternal, indissoluble quality of MaAndPaShipping.

You get good value with this one.

Find a post referring to Ma and Pa as individuals and I'll have written it, for that's what you call ironic.

3. It's a Fine Rocketshipping Proxy

I was at primary school when Pokémon hit the West like the bright, bearded meteor it is, atomizing all competition for a child's attention.

I have shipped Jessie and James before I knew anyone else did it, unaware shipping was even a thing.

There are other pairs where I think: 'That seems to fit', but it's incomparable to what I feel for them.

It is part of me. I bleed it.

I have shipped it longer than most Tumblerries have dwelt upon the earth.

I used to believe, what with the hints and manga finale, that this resolution was  inevitable, and all I had to do was wait.

Well I've been patient for two decades now, thus when I look at the modern incarnation, and realise it's no nearer to that goal, and instead is further away, waiting starts to wear a bit thin.

I resent the lack of appreciation shown to the fans by the cretins in charge, how any meagre shippy inclusion is done not with an interest in deepening bonds, but with the blatant cynicism of moulding us into performing monkeys dancing to their manipulative tune.

I dislike being treated like a sea lion, expected to clap me flippers at the wave of a fish, or as a panting dog begging at top table, where, because they're desperate to maintain the status quo, every scrap flung down from above now comes with an Anti-Ship kick in the teeth, just to be sure nothing progresses. Not whilst the franchise can still be milked for all it's worth.

I have lost faith Rocketshipping will happen. What passes for Pokémon today carries not the remotest indication of any intention on the so-called writers' part to finish it that way.

Even if it did, it's not my Team Rocket, it's those skeletal, gargoyle bastardisations. My Jessie and James never got the reward they deserved.

I'm somewhat in the market for a replacement. Beneath this loathsome carapace of acid and ice beats the tender heart of a true romantic, and it must have an outlet!

Shipping Ma and Pa provides a certain spurious relief, because it's as close as you can get to Jessie and James without it being them, both biologically as his parents, but they're so similar to the duo it counts as proof in itself.

Holy Matrimony! is prime Rocketshipping territory, not merely the balloon lift, but many slight additions are as important, like the haircuts matching.

Ma and Pa are therefore Jessie and James in the past, present and future:

The past for representing Jess 'n' Jamie gone Victorian, and we've all wondered how that'd turn out.

The present as it's there right now, absent of suffering the shameless whims of morons to get what you want. 'Tis yours to savour.

The future as a glimpse of Jessie and James once married with children, and they agree:

That's how they play it given the opportunity!

What, James in blue, for his and Pa's hair, and Jessie wearing purple, like Ma's, with a red shawl for her own, and Ma Jess's orange earrings to copy the beads?

• Money!

• Bun!

• 'Tache!

• Classy pad!

• Fancy gear!

• Pampered pet!

• Identical cups of Earl Grey!

4. Original Blend

Ma and Pa have only got two fans! We care more than the entire fandom has in twenty years!

Rocketshipping art is ten a penny, so why not display a pioneering spirit, sharpen up those pencils and be inspired?

Let your mind expand and marvel at the possibilities of these unchartered territories, and I'll reblog it if it's nice.

Pay attention to the condition of it being nice. I'm not putting up with any old toss.

Real Ma and Pa is what I want too, not those Sinnoh coffin-dodgers.

It's never been done! Every drawing breaks new ground!

I don't like fan fiction, but I wouldn't say 'no' to that either. Recall the 'nice' stipulation again.

Come on, be the first amongst your friends and get ship shape!

5. It Gives Us All Hope

Suppose your favourite amour one day became canon: you imagine that's the end of the matter?

Well it ain't.

Between Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, Gary and Tracey, there are three-and-a-half out of fourteen parents (Flint doesn't count as a complete man) and one out of twenty-eight grandparents, and that's not enough!

If the series drew to a close with your beloved couple apparently walking into the happily-ever-after, there's no guarantee it'll endure. In fact, the odds are they'll split up within a few years and leave another generation to fend for themselves or starve.

That's right, so don't presume the final episode is all you need to worry about. Can you rest easy knowing it'll go pear-shaped once the camera stops rolling?

It's futile soothing one's worries with:

Oh, but they know what it's like to be alone. They'd never inflict such stress on their children.

Oh really?

Look at that poor showing of grandparents. Either Pokémon has a system reminiscent of the sci-fi film Logan's Run, where everyone over thirty is vapourized, or these disappearing maters and paters were themselves victims of abandonment.

I bet when they settled down, they thought it'd be different for their kids, they'd make sure of it, but no, off they went down that same route of feckless self-indulgence, and that's being kind assuming they intended not to repeat history.

Depressing eh? What's the good in any of us surrendering to romance, real or otherwise, if love is but a mayfly of emotion, and all dreams are doomed to die?

Then Ma and Pa arrive, and suddenly the storm clouds part for a ray of heavenly light.

It's not only that they made the effort in what was probably an arranged marriage and have stayed together from youth, it's that they've stayed together when no one else has, which augments its value.

When separation is commonplace, sticking it out becomes rarer and rarer as any belief in the sanctity of wedlock erodes with every failure.

If they didn't bother, why should I? What's the use when it won't work?

Once that idea enters your head, it's over, and your gloom-laden attitude fulfils itself.

Society is collapsing about Ma and Pa's ears, but they persevere nevertheless, refusing to buckle under the turgid malaise engulfing the arrogant and weak.

It's bloody beautiful, man!

You may suggest an environment of supreme wealth erases normality, and to their class and time period divorce is still taboo, so they don't really have much of choice but to remain wedded.

Ah, but it's not as if they simply tolerate one another for appearances, or carried on for the sake of their son (which is more than anyone else did besides), not when he walked out on them.

They've been married longer than James has lived, so at least eighteen years (don't all squeal at once), and they're still blissfully contented!

They hold hands!

They use terms of endearment like 'dear' and 'my precious'!

They were made for one another!

They work as a team!

They want the same thing for James!

It could bring a stone angel to tears it's so beautiful!

See what success can be achieved when you try? When you endeavour to love the one you're with and make yourself worth loving in return?

Better that than chucking 'em at the first sign of trouble.

Ma and Pa is such an irrevocable union even the despair of losing their only child failed to tear 'em asunder, and that'd defeat many, but not this husband and wife.

Be grateful, for it means all is not in vain.

It doesn't have to be misery and pain: love can last despite the pressure of a wretched, hollow culture bent on self-destruction. Your ship might just succeed too.

God bless 'em for keeping the magic alive!

...

Why do I have the presentiment that I'm going to regret encouraging support?

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z Movie 15: Resurrection F

“Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection F” premiered on April 18, 2015.    Notably, it had a U.S. theatrical release only a few months later, in August.   Movie 14 got a U.S. theatrical release, but it took a lot longer, and fans didn’t really have any reason to expect that much.   In 2013, we were just waiting for Funimation to release it on home video.     But I think it says a lot about how successful Movie 14 was.    Not only did the sequel get made only a couple of years later, but the big shots in Japan who run all this stuff finally realized that there’s an international audience just as eager to pay for this stuff.   I want to say the Broly movie got released in the U.S. even faster, but I’d have to look it up.     And from what I understand, the Broly movie did even bigger business than Movies 14 and 15, so I think it’s safe to say that if they keep making more of these, we can count on a speedy localization.

Do we have Fox to thank for this?   I mean, would any of this Dragon Ball revival have happened if “Dragon Ball Evolution” hadn’t bombed so badly?    I mean, let’s say they did a good job and made DBE really kick ass, like the Thor movies.   By now they probably would have made a nice little trilogy, starring a mostly whitewashed cast.   Maybe the third one would be looked down upon, or they’d try to do a reboot like with the X-Men franchise, and people would write pointless thinkpiece articles asking stupid questions about “Dragon Ball fatigue”.    Teenage Justin Chatwick stans would be blogging things like “OMG Did you know there was a Dragon Ball Evolution cartoon?!?!?”   Maybe those live action movies would be better than Dragon Ball Super, but they’d probably also mark the end of the franchise.   At least with things as they are, there’s no telling how much more Dragon Ball content we might be getting in the 20′s.

Gee, Toei, how come your mom lets you have two logos at the start of the movie?

I just found this out last night, but Res F has the distinction of being the first movie where Toriyama wrote the actual screenplay, as opposed to just coming up with the plot and story, as in Movie 14.  I’m a fan of Toriyama’s work, obviously, but I’m don’t subscribe to the idea that anything he does is pure gold and everyone else who contributes to this franchise is ruining it somehow.   There are GT apologists who would try to argue that GT was more legitimate because Toriyama had some vague influence on the production, and he drew SSJ4 Goku once, so that means it’s magically awesome.  It just doesn’t work.    Movie 14 is better than Movie 15, and I don’t think that’s because one screenplay was better than the other, but the point is that you can’t just add more Toriyama labor and guarantee a superior product.

So there’s three big problems I have with this movie, and when I rewatched it this morning, my opinion hasn’t budged since 2015.  

First, the sole premise of this movie is that Frieza comes back to menace the good guys again.  That’s a bad move, period.   I find Frieza overrated to begin with, and they’ve already done handful of Frieza comebacks before this movie was ever conceived.    Even if it was a good idea, it’s so obvious that it’s barely worth doing.   When the DBS: Broly movie was first announced, I was worried that they were making the same mistake again, but then it turned out they had a bold twist on the character to justify the effort.   And that’s what it takes.   If you do something obvious and predictable, if you repeat an idea you’ve already used before, then you’d better have some sort of big twist to make it fresh.   Movie 15 does not have this.    It does an admirable job in spite of that flaw, but it’s a pretty serious flaw. 

Second, the visuals are bland and unimpressive.    The point of this movie is that Goku and Frieza are going to have a rematch of their epic showdown on Namek.    I just went back in my archives and pulled up a still from the Frieza Saga, and it looks ten times cooler than anything in the movie.   They were fighting on an exploding planet, surrounded by red skies, lightning, molten lava, and tornadoes.     Movie 15 boasts the same guys, supposedly more powerful than ever, but they fight like they’re in a video game, and the background is just this dismal cloudy sky.   They had 23 years to figure out how to raise the stakes, and all they could come up with was making Frieza yellow and Goku blue.  

Third, everyone acts like an idiot in this movie.  Like I said, we’ve done this dance before, but everyone just repeats the same mistakes and forgets that characters can do things that they’ve done in the past.   Sometimes I can’t tell whether it’s an honest flub, or a deliberate callback to classic DBZ.   All I know is that I remember how it went the first time, and you’d think the characters would too, since they lived it.   

Now, in spite of those issues, this film does a pretty decent job working with what it has.    It’s not nearly as bad as Movies 10 and 11, which commit these same three sins and puts the main characters on the sidelines.   But it’s a step down from Movie 14, and around the same time, Dragon Ball Super was starting up on Japanese TV, and that show was just adapting the movies for the first 32 episodes, so I was pretty displeased with the state of the franchise in 2015.

All right, let’s get started.    The movie opens in hell, which is pretty interesting, because up until now we’ve only ever seen Toei’s version of DBZ Hell.   There’s a lot of inconsistencies, like whether or not you get to keep your physical body, and whether or not hell is even that bad a place to be.   Since Toriyama wrote this thing, I have to assume this is his official version of DBZ’s Hell.    Conveniently, we find that it’s got plenty of layers to it, including a scary looking realm full of bats, an ocean full of Pokemon fish, and underneath all of that we have an idyllic meadow with pink trees.   

This is where Frieza’s being kept, and he just has to hang from the tree in some sort of testicle-looking thing.  There’s angels and fairies and a stuffed animal marching band, and it’s pretty cute, but I can see where you’d get sick of it after a while.

And Frieza’s been here for a while.    This movie is set in the year Age 779, and Frieza was killed by Future Trunks in Age 764, so he’s on Year Fifteen of his infinity-year sentence.   Has he been stuck in this particular torment for the entire time?   Who knows?   I don’t know much about Japanese afterlife mythology, but my understanding is that it’s like an even more complex version of Dante’s Inferno, where there’s all these different ordeals you have to suffer through for extraordinarily long periods of time.    Maybe they let him out part of the time so he can get beat up by Pikkon and watch Goku beat Majin Buu.  

One touch I appreciate is that he’s still in his Mecha-Frieza form.   Does it make sense for him to retain his cybernetic parts when Trunks chopped him up into so many pieces?    I don’t know, but Mecha-Frieza is my favorite Frieza, so I like the nod to that moment.  

Meanwhile, Frieza’s private army somehow still exists after all these years.  This movie calls it the “Frieza Force”, which I’m not too wild about, but I’ll run with it.   I think it’s kind of stupid to keep calling it that so long after Frieza’s death, but maybe it’s a bluff to anyone who doesn’t know Frieza’s dead.    At this point, all they have left is the name.   One of Frieza’s administrators, Sorbet, has taken charge of the whole thing, and I guess he’s done a fairly impressive job if he’s kept it going this long, but all he’s really accomplished is to oversee the slow dissolution of Frieza’s holdings.  

Funimation made a lot out of the idea of Frieza as an emperor, suggesting he was a head of state and the planets he conquered were part of a vast interstellar nation.   I think in the dub there was a comment about how the Frieza Force used to control like 70% of the known universe, but none of that’s in the Japanese version.   The original premise of Frieza is that he just has a bunch of guys fighting his battles for him, and he buys and sells planets to finance all the wine and spaceships he goes through.   I rather prefer that sort of aimlessness about his organization.    If he were like a Roman Caesar, you could at least balance out his brutality with the semblance of authority he brings to his conquests.    A Pax Friezae, if you will.  But he’s not Diocletian, he’s a trust fund baby who just happens to be nigh invulnerable.   He never cared what happened to anyone else, or how things would run after he was gone.   

Anyway, Sorbet just doesn’t have the manpower to hold their territory, and all he can do is pull his soldiers out when uprisings get too intense.    His only recourse is to wish Frieza back to life with the Dragon Balls, except he can’t find the Namekians’ new homeworld.    There’s Dragon Balls on Earth, except that’s where all the Super Saiyans live, so it’s dangerous.   But today, he’s decided there’s no other way.    To be on the safe side, he leads an away team with just himself and his aid, Tagoma.   That way there’s less chance of them being noticed by the ki-sensitive fighters on the planet.  

Sigh... this is why I hate the fucking Frieza Force right here.  It’s the same old spaceships, same old uniforms, same old plans.  Their shuttlecraft just looks like their regular ship, only smaller.    Frieza’s been dead for fifteen years, and after all this time, their biggest idea is to try to bring back LOWARD FUREEEZA SAWMA.  If that was such a hot idea, then why did he get killed in the first place?

What annoys me is that there’s probably an interesting explanation for Sorbet’s strategy.   You’d think he would be happier with Frieza gone.   He runs this whole outfit, and even if their domain is smaller than it was under Frieza, it belongs to him, so he’s richer and more powerful than he’s ever been.   But maybe he just can’t appreciate that, and he liked it better when he was a middle-manager for a big shot like Frieza.   But that never gets explored in the movie.   Sorbet just acts like he’s wishing back Frieza because he’s supposed to.  

Anyway, it would be risky to try to go through Bulma to get the Dragon Balls, but Emperor Pilaf has a Dragon Radar of his own, so they strongarm him instead.   I wonder where he got that thing.   General Copper from the Red Ribbon Army had one that was never seen again, so maybe they stole it from him?  

Meanwhile, here’s baby Pan.    I thought Pan’s appearance in these later movies conflicted with the final three episodes of DBZ, but maybe not.   The dub said she was three, but the subs said she was four.   And those last three episodes took place in Age 784, while this movie shows her being newly born in Age 779, just five years earlier.    So Pan could still be four years old when she fought Wild Tiger, and her birthday just hadn’t come along yet.   

Anyway, Piccolo’s keeping an eye on her while her parents are shopping.   

Then the sky gets dark, and Gohan and Piccolo know that someone’s wishing on the Dragon Balls, but they don’t know who or why.   Oh, by the way, there’s a big statue of Mr. Satan here, and that’s his only appearance in this movie.  

So Sorbet makes his big wish to have a resurrection... of F.   Which stands for “Frieza.”

Just like the title of this cartoon!

But Shenron explains that it would be kind of dumb to do that.   This was the thing I never understood when this movie was first announced.    During the Frieza Saga, Shenron was used to wish back everyone killed by Frieza and his men, and Kami said that this would only work for those who had died within the past year.     The implication being that Shenron can’t revive people who have been dead for a really long time. 

But Toriyama seems to have taken that into account here.   Shenron explains that he can revive Frieza, even after fifteen years, but he can’t restore all the damage to his body.

This leads to a quick flashback of Trunks killing him way back when.   I’m glad they included this, since it’s worth explaining just how Frieza died in the first place.  Trunks chopped him into pieces, then blasted the pieces.    Apparently, after all this time, Shenron can only undo the blasting and the dying, but not the chopping.  

However, the medical technology used by the Frieza Force has advanced somewhat since the Namek Saga, so Tagoma believes they could finish the job of putting Frieza back together.   Sorbet decides it’s worth a shot, so we’re off to the races.

So Shenron plats along, and a bunch of Frieza chunks fall to the ground.    I like the sound effects they make when they land.   

Creepily, the pieces try to gather together again.   I don’t know if this is Shenron’s power trying and failing to complete the resurrection, of if this is some function of Mecha-Frieza’s cybernetics.     Either way, it doesn’t work.

But the pieces are all still alive, which is siiiick.    Frieza’s eye even opens and looks at them, suggesting that he’s somehow still conscious in this state.    See, this movie still has some cool stuff in it.

Then Shenron asks Sorbet what he wants for his second wish, and Sorbet had no idea that he would get more than one.    He considers wishing back King Cold, but before he can decide...

... Shu wishes for cash, and gets it.    Sorbet’s angry about this, but he has to hurry up and return to the ship before the Z-Fighters find him.    The funny thing is that Shenron leaves after this second wish is granted, but in the Dragon Ball Super version, he grants a third wish, and Mai uses that one too.   This is why I’ve spent the last 16 years confused over whether Buu-era Shenron grants two wishes or three.   Apparently, the deal is that it’s three, unless you use one to wish a lot of people back to life at the same time.    Then it’s two.    So did Toriyama goof, or was the wish to bring back Frieza hard enough that it counts as two wishes?    It doesn’t matter much, since Movies 10, 13, and 14 all played fast and loose with Shenron as well.

So now they have to load all the Frieza chunks into a big garbage can and haul them back to their ship.  

They almost forget a piece, but Pilaf saves it for them.   I wonder what would have happened if they left that eye behind?

So then they heal the pieces in their medical machine.  I don’t know how this was supposed to work, but I assume they needed someone to stitch the pieces together, then they loaded him in the tank for a while, and then they had to take him out again, dress him up in his uniform, and put him back in to cure a while longer.   Also, they have Japanese punk band Maximum the Hormone playing on the stereo the whole time they do this.

“F” is a pretty good song, and I’m glad they put it in this movie, but I’d probably like it more if I liked Frieza more.    The story goes that Akira Toriyama heard this song, probably because the band wrote it as a tribute to his character, and the song inspired him to create the story in this movie.   

Anyway, Frieza breaks out of the tank and splashes green crap everywhere because he’s such a drama queen.   

Sorbet explains everything that’s happened, and Frieza seems mostly bemused by it all.   He’s displeased that he had to wait in hell for so long, but at least he’s out.    Sorbet mentions that they plan to wish back King Cold next, but Frieza tells them not to bother, since he apparently doesn’t like his dad that much.   This should be the tip to these idiots that this scheme will get them all killed.   

Frieza kills a guy just to see how his skills are holding up, and he declares his intent to take revenge on the two Super Saiyans who defeated him.   Remember, he still owes Goku for beating him up on Namek, but Trunks killed him before he could get to that point.    And that’s my main problem with all of this.   We already did a Frieza comeback, and it was Mecha-Frieza invading Earth in the Trunks Saga.    He miraculously survived Namek, his soldiers spent months putting him back together, and then the very first thing he wanted to do was go to Earth and kill Super Saiyans.   Does any of this sound familiar? 

Besides that episode, we had several other stories that repeated the same theme.    Movies 5 and 6 were basically the same idea, but with Frieza’s brother as a stand-in for Frieza himself.    Episode 195 of the anime had Frieza come back as part of a revolut in hell.    Movie 12 had Frieza come back, only to get killed again by Gohan.     Dragon Ball GT had Frieza come back and fight Goku.     I think Toriyama’s attitude is that he didn’t write those stories, so they don’t count, but it doesn’t change the fact that the audience still saw all of those.    By the time this movie came along, “Frieza comes back for revenge” had been done several times.   

Tagoma points out that maybe we shouldn’t rush back to Earth and get wiped out in a hopeless battle.   Again.     He suggests that it might be wiser to focus on rebuilding the Frieza Force, but Frieza kills him for his impudence, along with several other flunkies who just happened to be nearby.

At least Frieza has a reason for wanting to start with revenge.  As far as he’s concerned, the Frieza Force can’t rebuild to its former glory, not if they have to hide from the Super Saiyans the whole time.    Sorbet points out that Goku’s even stronger than he was before, citing his defeat of Majin Buu.   Amazingly, Frieza’s heard of Majin Buu, since his father once told him that he should never mess with Buu or Beerus.  

But this doesn’t worry Frieza much.  He figured Goku would become stronger, and he thinks he can as well.   Frieza was born with this unnaturally incredible power that he has, so he’s never needed to train or improve his strength.   But now, he thinks that if he does train, he can surpass Goku after about four months.   This is basically the Dragon Ball equivalent of “Why doesn’t Bluto eat some spinach and beat the hell out of Popeye?”

Here’s what blows my mind.   In the subs, Frieza estimates that he’ll reach a power level of 1.3 million.   I’m amazed that they’d even cite a power level this late in the franchise, let alone a number that low.   Frieza claimed to be at one million in his second form, so I think everyone agrees that we passed 1,300,000 a long time ago.     Hell, there aren’t any scouters able to measure that high anyway.    

Seriously, is this official canon?  It has to be right?   Toriyama wrote that line himself.   Is he saying eveyone from Second-form Frieza to Golden Frieza ranges from 1 million to 1.3 million?  So like, Perfect Cell would be 1.1 million, I guess, and Majin Buu’s 1.2?    That’s wild.   I kind of like it.  

What I don’t like is that it’s a little convenient that Frieza can catch up to Goku so easily.   It took Gokue fifteen years to reach the level he’s at in this movie, and Frieza manages to tie him in just four months?   If it was that easy, why didn’t he just do pushups for a week before he came to Earth the last time?   He could have wiped out Trunks in an instant.

Moving on, a few months later, Jaco the Intergalactic Patrolman arrives on Earth to warn Bulma that Frieza is coming to Earth with a thousand soldiers.   

I won’t get into Jaco’s whole deal, because I still haven’t read his manga yet, but baiscally he was friends with Bulma’s older sister back in the day, and Tights told him that Bulma knows the Super Saiyan who beat Frieza.     The problem is that Goku and Vegeta aren’t on Earth right now, because they’re training with Whis on Beerus’ world.   Bulma can contact Whis by holding up delicious food and calling out to him, but she doesn’t know if he’s listening.   Also, Jaco waited until an hour before Frieza’s arrival to say anything, so now Bulma has to scramble to alert the others.  

Here’s some bank robbers.    I like this bit, because in the dub, they say “We’re as rich as rich guys!”

There’s just one problem...

Krillin’s a cop.

Then Bulma calls him and tells him the bad news.    I feel like somewhere in the dub, Krillin observed that Majin Buu and Gohan could at least buy them some time, but then it turned out Buu was asleep the whole time, which was why he didn’t show up in this movie.    I must be thinking of the DBS version.     This is why I’m not big on Buu as a good guy, by the way.    They have this insanely powerful good guy on their team, and then they never do anything with him.   He slept through this crisis and the Tournament of Power, and I didn’t see him in the Broly movie either.  

Anyway, Frieza killed Krillin the last time they met, but Krillin’s got big brass balls, so the first thing he does is suit up to fight his punk ass.  18 offers to go in his place, but he wants her to protect their kid while he’s gone.  

Also, he asks her to shave his head, so he’ll look even cooler for this.

To be honest, I liked Krillin’s hairstyle in this movie, but yeah, bald Krillin is the way to go.   

As he flies off into the face of certain doom, his big brass balls clanking as he goes, 18 thinks about how cool he is.   Get you a lady who admires you half as much as 18 admires Krillin.

As Frieza returns to Earth, he goes over some details with Sorbet.    In particular, no one could find the Super Saiyan who actually killed Frieza, and Sorbet speculates that he may have moved to some other planet or died while Frieza was in hell.    Of course we know that Future Trunks returned to his own timeline, but Frieza doesn’t and never will.   This loose end doesn’t seem to bother him much, and I don’t think that makes sense.    Yes, from a dramatic standpoint, he ought to be more concerned about avenging his loss to Goku, but Trunks was the one to kill him, and I feel like Frieza doesn’t spend nearly enough time in this movie thinking about his own mortality.  

Sorbet points out that even if Frieza kills Goku, he could just be wished back to life like Frieza was, right?  But Frieza plans to destroy the Earth along with Goku, thereby eliminating the Dragon Balls and Earth’s hell.  For some reason, Frieza seems to think that Earth has it’s own particular version of hell, and the only reason he ended up in that meadow of fairies is because he happened to die on that planet.    So I guess he thinks that if he blows up the Earth, that hell will cease to exist as well?   How does he know that?   

Is that why he’s not worried about dying again?  Does he think if he dies someplace else, he’ll end up in a more favorable afterlife?   What happens if you die in outer space?    What sort of hell is Tagoma in right now?

At any rate, Frieza thinks he has all the angles worked out, and he checks to make sure Sorbet is prepared for his “emergency plan” in case things don’t work out.   This is as close as we ever get to any sort of character development for Frieza here.    The last time he went to Earth, he didn’t have a plan B, and now he does.   

Meanwhile, Goku is training with Vegeta and Whis, just as Bulma said.    Recall that Whis is even stronger than Beerus, who dominated the boys in the last movie.    So Whis can fight them both at once without any trouble at all.

But their training wakes up Beerus, so they have to explain how they pay Whis for his lessons with tasty food from Earth.   Beerus is annoyed that Whis would eat this stuff without him but he’s awake now, so he can have some of the pizza they brought over.    

Meanwhile, Frieza’s ship lands on Earth, and a bunch of his goons come out.   

Then he blows up North City, which he calls his way of saying hello.  

So it’s up to the Z-Fighters to hold the line until Goku and Vegeta check Whis’s voice mail.   Unfortunately, they’re kind of light on guys.   We have Piccolo, Tien, and Krillin, and Gohan’s here, but he hasn’t kept up with his training.   That’s why he wore a tracksuit to this party, because he couldn’t find his gi after all this time.  Tien told Chiaotzu and Yamcha to stay out of it, since this fight would be too much for them.    Okay, but why?   Frieza will blow up the Earth if he wins, so what difference does it make if they stay out of this?    At least if they show up they can help.   

On the other hand, Krillin brought Master Roshi along,   He can’t even fly!   Somehow, everyone involved in making this show decided that Roshi is cooler than Yamcha, which is stone cold, 100% false.   Master Roshi belongs in jail, and it doesn’t even need to be a fancy jail with a roof because he can’t fly out anyway.

Then Bulma shows up with Jaco to tell the others that she couldn’t raise Goku and Vegeta.   Also, she wants Jaco to help, even though he only planned to pass along the message and GTFO.     Bulma trash-talks Frieza, because she figures they still have the upper hand.   After all, Gohan’s strong enough to kill Frieza, right?   But Gohan explains to her that Frieza’s much stronger than he was 15 years ago, so none of them stand a chance this time around.

She asks Frieza to wait for Goku, so he agrees to hold off for ten more seconds, and then he sics his army on the Z-Fighters.   I bet she wishes she had told Goten and Trunks about this rumble.  

People talk about this part as the highlight of the movie, and it’s definitely one of the better parts.   It’s certainly fresher,since we normally don’t see six or seven guys battling a whole army like this.   Also, I like the approach of limiting the cast to a manageable number.   I think it’s tactically unwise to leave Yamcha, Gotenks, Buu, and Chiaotzu out of this battle, but leaving them out of the movie is worth it, if it gives Tien a chance to shine for a moment.    I’m not saying I like Tien better than the others, but we’re in a situation now where they can’t all share the spotlight, so if we have to pick one, let’s make that decision and run with it, and hope Yamcha gets a turn in a later film.

The problem I have with a fight like this is that they have all these extras floating around in the background of almost every scene, so it’s like Piccolo will do some cool spot with five or six bad guys, while fifty more just sort of stand there and watch.    The only explanation I can come up with is that the Z-Fighters are moving so fast that most of the bad guys simply cannot react fast enough to keep up.

For example, you have this scene, where Gohan zips through a whole bunch of guys and takes them all out while they look like they’re standing still.    Also, it’s pointed out several times that the Frieza Force isn’t nearly as strong or as well-disciplined as they used to be.    Hell, the next movie makes a plot point out of how hard it is for them to recruit good fighters.

Even Jaco makes these guys look like geeks, and he’s a comic relief guy.   

But he’s clever, like when he tricks the bad guys into getting eaten by a giant fish.   How did he know this thing lived on Earth? 

At this point, Sisami enters the battle, and he’s at least strong enough to give Piccolo a hard time.

Also, his shorts are a size too small, but his slutty uniform is his only distinguishing feature, really.

But Gohan steps in and turns Super Saiyan to take him out.   Not sure that was a smart play, since they’re trying to buy time for Goku to arrive.    A drawn out battle with Piccolo might have been just the thing they needed.   But I suspect this scene was intended to introduce the Super Saiyan concept to the audience.

To wit, Sorbet is horrified by how easily his best warrior went down, but Frieza isn’t surprised at all, since he’s the only one on his side who’s seen Super Saiyans in action.    He didn’t know Gohan could turn into one, but it’s the same diff.

This blue guy tries to apologize to Frieza for their defeat, but Frieza blows them all up.   I’m just pointing him out because this guy was voiced by Team Four Star’s Scott Frrerichs, which still blows my mind to this day.  Also, for some reason, I thought he played Sisima--Shisami, Sashimi... the red horny guy. 

Everyone agrees that they stand no chance against Frieza as he is now, and Frieza takes out Gohan first just to emphasize the point.   I guess this is his meta-revenge for Movie 12.

Piccolo has to use a ki technique to restart Gohan’s heart, and a senzu bean helas him after that, but they only have one left, so that won’t last them much longer.

Finally, Whis checks his messages and Goku and Vegeta hear about Frieza.    Whis can take them back to Earth, but it’s a 35-minute trip, so it’s up to Goku’s Instant Transmission.   

All right, let’s get on with this.    Frieza insists that he’s learned from their last fight, and he starts out with his “final” form, except it’s not his final form anymore, because he has a new one, so right off we see that he really hasn’t learned anything.     He wants Goku to turn Super Saiyan, but Goku doesn’t need to, and they fight like this for a while.  Does this really make sense.    Frieza came here for revenge, so why is he bothering to play-fight like this?   

Eventually Vegeta gets so bored with this part of the battle that he jumps in and starts attacking Goku.   Frieza mistakes this for a show of loyalty to him, but in fact Vegeta’s just sick of Goku milking his turn.  

They agree to put all their cards on the table, so Goku reveals his strongest form, which he calls a combination of classic Super Saiyan and the Super Saiyan God form he used in the last movie.    This eventually came to be known as “Super Saiyan Blue”, because duh, but for marketing purposes it’s still officially called “Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan” or “SSGSS” for short.   I have no idea who thought that was a good name for this.   

So Frieza shows Goku his new form, which is just his “final” form with a different color scheme.   He says he “settled” on this color, implying that he could have made it look different if he wanted to.     I like that idea, because it goes along with my contention that the Xenoverse games should let you customize transforms along with your character.   If you want your guy to turn into a Super Saiyan Purple, you should be able to, or if you want your Frieza Race guy to have a Crimson form instead of Golden, you should get to have that too.

On the other hand, this is fucking stupid.     It’s the same fight from 1990, except the characters are different colors.   This is the sort of thing critics make fun of DBZ for, and Toriyama did it unironically.   I mean, I get it, Super Saiyan 3 is just SSJ1 with longer hair and no eyebrows, but it’s the way the character is used in the story that sells the form as being more powerful.    

The problem here is that both guys have new forms at the same time and they’re supposed to be stronger than almost every other character we’ve seen before.  And yet this fight doesn’t look all that different from what they were doing a few minutes ago, before they transformed.   

On top of that, we have these really shitty CGI animations that look like they were taken out of a PS3 game.   I mean that literally, because when I watched this movie, I noticed it right away, because the way the characters move looks exactly like they do in the games I play all the time.  I didn’t mind it so much on the first viewing, but now that I’m looking at screencaps of it, it just looks really awkward and bad.    It’s fine in the games, because it’s interactive, and I can control what’s happening.    But in a movie, it doesn’t work at all, because Goku has this blank expression on his face the whole time.   Also, there’s no physics on the tails of his belt.    He’s rushing Frieza here but they’re just hanging at his hip like he’s standing still.

Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?   These shots aren’t even that long, and they don’t look that complicated, so I don’t understand why they didn’t just go ahead and use traditional animation.    I mean, the Frieza soldiers from earlier were rendered this way too, and I get that, because there were literally a thousand of them, and they wanted to have hordes of them milling about in the background.   but this is the main hero and villain in the forefront of the action.    If the entire movie looked like this, I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all, really.     It’s a “contract with the audience” thing.   If the whole movie is CGI or 2D animation, we can accept the visuals we’re given,  but once you start switching media unexpectedly, it becomes very jarring.

Then Beerus and Whis finally arrive to collect the dessert Bulma offered them.    Wait, he said it would take 35 minutes to get here.  Have Goku and Frieza been fighting for 35 minutes?

I get the joke here, that you’ve got this interplanetary grudge match playing out nearby, and these two dorks are more interested in eating ice cream, but it sort of undermines what little tension there was to this story.   When Res F was first announced, lots of fans joked that Frieza would find himself completely outmatched by the Z-Fighters.    Goten could kill him by himself.   But Toriyama introduced Golden Frieza to get around that, which means at this point, Frieza has leapfrogged Cell and Majin Buu to become the strongest villain again, to the point where he might rival Beerus if he put his mind to it.   Frieza’s a big deal again, except there doesn’t seem to be much concern over it.    Everyone seems confident that Goku can handle it, and if he can’t then Vegeta can, and if things really got out of hand, Whis could kill everyone in one hit. 

At one point, Frieza finally notices Beerus and asks him if he’s going to interfere in the battle, but Beerus insists that he’s just here for dessert, and he’s totally neutral in this.  

And Frieza seems to think he’s winning, but then Goku informs him that this Golden Frieza form has a weakness.    Frieza was so thrilled to have the new form that he rushed to Earth as soon as he discovered it, but he hasn’t learned to regulate his power at this level, so he’s going to tire out in a few minutes.   Goku should know, because he ran into the same problem with Super Saiyan 3 a few years back, and the same thing happened to Frieza when he fought at 100% of his full power because FRIEZA HASN’T LEARNED A DAMN THING SINCE THE LAST TIME THEY FOUGHT.    This movie is just so dumb.   The fact that Goku has to explain this to him again is absurd. 

Frieza thinks Goku’s bluffing, but this time the CGI battle shifts into Goku’s favor, and Frieza can’t hit the block button fast enough or break Goku’s combos.   

Then they fight underwater, which is just as murky and grey as the sky, only there’s bubbles down here.

Finally, we reach the point where Frieza’s punches don’t even work, and Goku pokes him in the tittly and punches him.

So Goku tells him to get out of here, just like he did on Namek, and Frieza throws a fit, just like he did on Namek.   This fight is the worst.  I mean, it’s not Gohan vs. Dabura levels of bad, but at least Gohan and Dabura did original stuff while they were shitting the bed.

Then Frieza signals Sorbet while he’s crying, and Sorbet shoots Goku with a ray gun to take him out of the fight.  

And this is dumb too, because it’s the same mistake Goku made on Namek, twice.   Only this time, Frieza actually got the drop on him, which is dumb because he’s basically doing the same thing Piccolo did to Goku at the 23rd World Tournamnet.   Whis even warned Goku about this overconfidence earlier in the movie.  I mean, it was forteshadowing, which ought to be okay, except when everything else in this movie is a retread of Frieza’s other appearances, foreshadowing is kind of a bad move. 

But Goku’s not the only dumbass in this movie.    Frieza decides not to kill Goku while he has the chance, and instead invites Vegeta to do it for him.   He even offers to make Vegeta his second-in-command, although his entire Frieza Force is dead except for Sorbet.   Geets declines, which isn’t exactly a shock, since he’s hated Frieza for destroying Planet Vegeta.   You know, the thing that happened forty-odd years ago that Frieza probably should considered before asking Vegeta to rejoin his team?

Instead, Vegeta tells Krillin to give Goku a senzu bean, and when Frieza tries to stop him, Vegeta deflects his attack so that it kills Sorbet instead.  

In return, Vegeta demands to take over the fight, now that we’ve come to his favorite part, the “Frieza-murdering” part.   Frieza mocks him for thinking he stands a chance, but Vegeta turns Super Saiyan Blue himself, and now Frieza realizes he’s totally screwed.    I guess he figured Goku would be this strong, but he never imagined he’d have to fight Vegeta at the same level at the same time.  

This is my favorite part of the movie, where Vegeta informs him that he learned to go Super Saiyan shortly after Frieza’s death.   Then again, why didn’t Frieza know about any of this?    Sorbet had been spying on the Earth for years, and he seemed to know just about everything else about what was going on.   Why didn’t he tell Frieza that Vegeta was living on Earth and that he was about as strong as Goku?   “Hey, look, I know you think you can handle Goku with this Golden form, but just understand that you’ll probably be fighting Vegeta at the same time, and he’ll be about the same level.”

For that matter, why did Frieza invade without checking to make sure Goku was on the planet first?  

So it looks like everything’s coming up Vegeta in this movie, although this part of the fight is anticlimactic, becuase Goku had already softned Frieza up for him. 

But then it turns out that Vegeta swallowed a bottle of idiot pills too, because when Frieza’s Golden Form wears off, he gets desperate and blows up the Earth to escape.  You know, just like he did on Namek.  At least I can sort of excuse Vegeta for this, because he wasn’t there the last time Frieza pulled this trick, except that Vegeta should have seen it coming, because he pulled the same stunt himself when he first came to Earth.

So yeah, the Earth explodes, again, which just makes the Dragon Ball Wiki that much harder to read, because they count both explosions as dates of death for every character.    Goten died in Age 774 and Age 779 and whenever else he would have died naturally.  

But all the main characters who were watching he fight are okay, because they were standing next to Beerus and Whis, who made a force field to protect them.    Vegeta’s dead, though, because he suffocated when the planet blew.   On the other hand, Frieza would have survived, because he doesn’t need air.    On top of that, he took out the Dragon Balls, so there’s no way to undo this with a wish.   

Then Whis reminds Goku that he has the power to rewind time by three minutes.   Yeah, I forgot about this.  Earlier, when Beerus woke up from his nap, Whis mentions how Beerus has a nasty habit of destroying things accidentally, so Whis has the power to rewind time and undo it if Beerus does anything especially stupid.  

So now Goku has a chance to kill Frieza properly, which he should have just done in the first place.   

KILLER QUEEN DAISAN NO BAKUDEN BITES THE DUST

So Frieza’s dead again... until they bring him back for the Tournament of Power, because for some reason fans want him to keep coming back for more of this crap.

Vegeta is understandably upset, because he thinks Goku just jumped in for no reason, but he calms down once he finds out Frieza was about to blow up the planet.

Bulma promises a big feast for Whis and Beerus for helping them, but she adds that it’ll have to wait for them to wish back everyone who died when Frieza destroyed North City.   Well, that’ll take six months, because the Dragon Balls haven’t reset since the last wish, right?

Then Goku proposes that he can Vegeta actually practice working together, in case they need to really join forces next time.   Vegeta’s like “nuts to that” and Goku’s like “same here”, so at least they have that much common ground.  

The end credits are accompanied by “Z no Chikai” or “Oath of Z”, by Momoiro Clover Z.    This song rules, and it’s really much better than Movie 15 deserves.   

In the post credits sequence, Frieza finds himself right back where he started, and the angels and fairies welcome him back to hell.    Looks like Tagoma had the right idea after all, huh?

And I guess that about sums it up.   I feel like this movie wasted an opportunity to do something truly interesting with Frieza.     You have a guy who was invincible, then he got killed and spent 15 years in hell, only to get wished back to life by his desperate troops.    This could have been a chance for him to ponder his own mortality and the futility of power and revenge.   What good does it really do to kill Goku when they both know what awaits them on the other side?   What difference does it make to escape the afterlife when you know you’ll just have to go back eventually?    You could try to have Frieza answer those questions and have him become a much more desperate and complex villain.   Instead, Toriyama just went right back to what he had already written in the Trunks Saga.  

Sadly, this looks like the final entry under the Dragon Ball Z brand.    Now that Dragon Ball Super is a thing, it looks like any new Dragon Ball stories, like the new Broly movie, will be produced under the DBS branding.    I kind of wish DBZ could have closed out on a better note than this.   

On the other hand, that Broly movie was a lot better, and even if it was officially titled “Dragon Ball Super: Broly”, I find that it’s hard for the Z to drop out of the public lexicon.   When I went to see it in January, the theater had it listed as “Dragon Ball Z: Super Broly.”  Old habits die hard, I guess.    Maybe one of these years, we’ll see the end of the Z, but not yet.  

[charmedtheselfproclaimedking]

Charmed Again: Season 3 (Charmed Fanfic)

Episode 8 - Charmed Condolences (Finale)

Warnings: I don’t own the rights to any of the characters from the hit TV show “Charmed” or the storylines related to the show those rights belong to original creator Constance M Burge.

15+ Moderate/Graphic Displays of Violence, Sexual Innuendos, Witchcraft and Potentially Triggering Scenes.

Many Years Ago

Pan knocked on Paul’s bedroom door before walking in to find him standing next to Drake’s cot while a baby Drake was fast asleep as the two shared a smile before sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“I know mum’s right I know it but it’s going to be so hard saying goodbye.” Paul admitted to his sister. “I know I’m going to have to be selfless and give him the best life I can possible give, but I just don’t want to not see him every day.”

“Listen our mother is purely talking out of fear and I know things are complicated with Eve and everything but I reckon we could all give it a go raising him and with us all there for him he’ll turn out perfect.” Pan suggested.

“She’s not wrong though I mean our Uncle Chris died way too young and we don’t even speak about Uncle Wyatt’s descent into madness that’s not to mention our cousins our entire family let’s face it this whole family is cursed.” Paul revealed. “I don’t want that life for him I want him to be happy, free and to live a long life that let’s face it neither of us are ever really going to have.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Pan said as she hugged into her brother. “I just wish our life didn’t have to be sacrifice after sacrifice.”

“Me too but at least I’ll be happy knowing my son’s life won’t be like ours.” Paul replied.

Present Day

A recently homeward bound Drake walked into the attic of the Halliwell Manor with a look of hurt and heartbreak on his face, this being the first time the Halliwell hybrid had been back home since the deaths of his father Paul Halliwell and his aunt Pan Morgan-Halliwell.

It had only been about a month but for him it felt like a lifetime as he walked over to the book of shadows until he was stood behind the closed book. He paused for a moment reluctant to open it believing it would restart his duties as a charmed one but as often was the case within this house he wasn’t given much choice before the book flipped open by itself continuing to flip by itself through pages after pages until stopping at the to call a lost witch spell.

“Power of the witches rise course unseen across the skies. Come to us who call you near come to us and settle here.” Drake began to chant. “Blood to blood I summon thee blood to blood return to me.”

Drake looked around hoping for a moment he’d be reunited with his father or aunt hoping for a moment this spell would change their fate only for nothing to happen breaking his heart once again.

Somewhere in New York City Penny Craft found herself running down a street alleyway chasing after her bounty a tall bald man who had skipped his court date and just as she was closing in on the perp she suddenly found herself hit in the face by a newspaper that appeared out of nowhere causing her to misstep and fall into a nearby stack of bin bags.

By the time she pulled the newspaper of her and climbed out of the trash her perp was already gone much to her frustration only to find the same newspaper rustling at her feet so she decided the pick up this pestering newspaper and read what it had to say.

“Hey…” She mumbled to herself. “Isn’t that my baby blanket?”

Elsewhere in New York, Rose Craft found herself waking up in a large king size bed wearing just her underwear with a man asleep to her right and a woman asleep to her left as she quietly climbed out of the bed not to wake the couple and began gathering her clothes before making her escape into the hallway once fully clothed before quietly making her way to the apartment door, opening the door to find a newspaper on the doorstep which she quickly picked up and began to read after closing the door and walking into the apartment building’s hallway.

Rose didn’t get very far reading the paper before she noticed the picture of a baby blanket under an article about a missing child which is when she also realized the newspaper itself was dated

“What the hell is going on here?” She asked herself as she pulled her phone out her jacket after stopping outside the apartment building’s elevator before dialing a number and waiting for the person to answer. “We need to talk like straight away.”

The next morning a fully dressed in black Drake found himself stood in the doorway of his father’s bedroom tears falling down his eyes as he investigated a room that no longer held anything but ghosts and memories.

“I miss him too, but I can’t begin to fathom what you must be feeling right now Drake.” Raven said to him after shimmering into the room and taking a seat on Paul’s bed. “We should’ve taken the premonition more seriously, but they had so many like that they were convinced they could handle it all.”

“I know I guess we all got kind of a little too confident with all this.” Drake admitted as he dried his eyes and walked over to Raven before sitting down next to her. “The power of three made us believe we would survive anything together, but I guess even being charmed doesn’t guarantee you’re safe.”

“I wish I had done something reacted faster we just never imagined it’d be a human let alone one who came with loaded anti-magic bullets I mean I knew there was anti-magic objects in the world but nothing like this.” Raven cried as Drake grabbed a hold of her hand. “I wanted to save them both so badly Drake but once Lacey’s healing didn’t work on them it was only a matter of time.”

“There was nothing that you could do if only I was there…” Drake began to say.

“No if you were there you probably would’ve just wound up dead too the only saving grace in all of this is you live on that’s all your father wanted for you to be safe.” Raven butted in, determined to make sure Drake never blamed himself. “None of this is anyone’s fault except for the bitch who shot them.”

“You’re right.” Drake replied as he pulled a crying Raven in for a hug. “Well the bitch who shot them and the one who hired her to do so.”

“Yes, but sadly Lacey got a bit too trigger happy to ask those kinds of questions.” Raven revealed to Drake as they broke off their hug. “Cole’s currently chasing a lead with a seer down in the Underworld hopefully we’ll get some answers even if there’s nothing we can really do with those answers unless demons are hiring humans to do their dirty work now.”

“Yeah well I guess with the whole charmed being reborn yet again maybe one of them will get a premonition that’ll get whoever did this with some magical solution on how to deal with them in the process.” Drake told his late father’s grieving girlfriend.

“Wait, are you seriously going to go ahead with restoring the power of three?” Raven asked in shock as she stood up. “You already restored the power of three and got no thanks for it you don’t owe them anything.”

“I know that’s not true but they need three to complete the set and I know the amount of good we can do and I can’t be the reason that good doesn’t happen because then whoever killed my dad and Pan will really win.” Drake answered as he stood up to face Raven.

“I still can’t believe my lovely receptionist Patty Craft was Paul and Pan’s long-lost sister Patience all this time I mean she was so close to us all before she died…I can’t believe her two daughters are going to be charmed ones.” Raven admitted. “That sort of makes your dad and his siblings the real second generation’s answer to the charmed ones and you are your cousins the third.”

“Yeah I suppose it does I never really thought of it like that…too busy trying to get my ass out of jail before getting busy with all this funeral stuff.” Drake explained to her. “Then there’s the club, my father’s shares in Halliwell and Turner not to mention Pan and his belongings and the whole Lacey going on a killing spree thing.”

“You have already dealt with more than anyone should ever have to deal with it’s okay to be done with it all Drake.” Raven told him as she grabbed a hold of his hand once more. “In fact, getting as far away from Charmed, living your own life and taking Lilah as far away from all this would make your father and probably your aunt happy to see.”

“Try telling that to the rest of the world that needs the charmed ones trust me I want nothing more than to hang up the broomstick and spell book and leave this never-ending misery spiral, but I can’t be selfish.” Drake said before taking a sad sigh.

“Leave it with me!” Raven responded with a cunning smile. “I’ll be back before the funeral I’m going to find a way for you to be as selfish as you want to be.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Drake asked to no answer as Raven shimmered away.

“I was in two minds whether to drop the kid off today or tomorrow, but I figured after your little prison stint you’d be needing our daughter right about now.” Cindy said to Drake as he walked into his bedroom to find Cindy sitting on the side of his bed while his daughter Lilah sat on her lap clearly excited to see her father. “Don’t worry I’ll sit tight with her in the Manor while you attend the funeral.”

“Oh my god daddy has missed you so much.” Drake told his baby girl as he walked towards Lilah and picked her up into his arms, his face lighting up to see his child after such a long time. “Daddy is never letting you go ever again.”

“You do realize mama is right here too you know.” Cindy reminded the Halliwell hybrid as she stood up to face him and their daughter. “I should at least get a hello or something.”

“Hey....I’m sorry I was just so excited to see my girl.” Drake replied before kissing his daughter on the forehead. “Thanks, I really needed some daddy time today it’s good to see you too.”

“I know I’m not one for the whole emotion thing but I’m deeply sorry about Paul and Pan I know how much family means to you if it helps I could totally kill whoever hired the hit I know you’re pure and killing isn’t your thing but I’ve always kind of been on the grey-scale.” Cindy offered him.

“Thanks Cindy but getting people to kill for me still means I got blood on my hands.” Drake laughed.

“Okay I totally won’t kill for you.” Cindy said sarcastically before winking at Drake.

“I mean it don’t kill anybody you’re doing good with the whole redemption thing the last thing Lilah needs is for any of us to go out killing people.” Drake warned her as he continued to hug into his daughter.

“Ugh…fine.” Cindy sighed. “I won’t get any blood on my or your hands.”

“Finally, I was beginning to think elders were still putting all of us demons on mute.” Raven said after Quinn orbed onto the top of the golden gate bridge to meet her.

“I am deeply sorry for your loss Miss Turner especially in your condition.” Quinn apologised to her. “It’s killing Paul that he’s not going to be there for you and your child but take some solace in knowing he is watching over you.”

“Thank you I had a theory he wouldn’t be able to miss all of this…listen I need your help with Drake and it’s going to involve breaking a few rules.” Raven replied to him. “And before you say no I want to remind you that Paul and Pan treated you like family that Drake loved you that…”

“What is it that you want me to do?” Quinn asked, interrupting the pregnant demon.

“Well at first I was going to ask for you to go back in time and stop them both from dying but then I realized destiny wouldn’t allow it because they believe it’s time for another set of charmed ones then I was going to ask you bring them back but death wouldn’t allow that either so I guess all I can do is ask that you help me protect Paul’s children and granddaughter like he would want us both to do.” Raven informed the elder.

“You’re right about Paul and Pan they were my family and they deserved better than this I want so much to reverse it all and see them alive and happy. For Pan to live a long life with her wife Lacey for the two of them to get the children they wanted and for Pan not to have to watch over without being able to stop her wife killing innocent after innocent.” Quinn admitted to her. “I want for Paul to be alive and be there for Drake and his granddaughter and to be there for you and get to raise his and your child together something I’d know he’d love and most of all I want for Drake to be happy, safe and to never have to face the same fate. So, yes Raven I will help you do whatever is needed elders be damned.”

“Good,” Raven responded with a smile. “Now between the both of us we’re going to find Parker Halliwell."

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you today but I’m glad you’re here.” Drake greeted Jake as he walked downstairs to see Jake waiting for him in the foyer.

“Well with Lacey being MIA on a killing spree I figured there had to be some Morgan family representation besides I figured you’d need as many friends as possible right now.” Jake replied to him.

“We’re friends now? I like that we’re friends now.” Drake said with a sincere smile. “It means a lot that you still care after all this time especially after everything.”

“Of course, I do.” Jake admitted. “Besides thank to you I am now living back at my family home and just got a new job so I can’t stay mad at you forever.”

“Well you could, and no one would blame you, you truly are amazing Jake Morgan.” Drake told him as he gave his first love a hug.

“You’re not so bad yourself Drake Black.” Jake responded as he hugged his first love tighter.

“Actually, it’s Drake Black-Halliwell now I’m changing it to incorporate both of my families.” Drake revealed as he broke off the hug.

“I like it.” Jake told him. “How are you holding up?”

“I’ll be better once I get today over with and work out whatever it is that Raven’s up to.” Drake admitted. “It would be better if everyone would give the notion of Charmed 3.0 a miss until after dad and aunt Pan’s funeral.”

“Hold up what exactly is Charmed 3.0?” Jake wondered. “Actually, never mind I’ll save the questions for later.”

“Thanks,” Drake replied. “We will get a hold of Lacey and we’ll get the old her back I promise.”

“Don’t worry too much about that my new job gives me the kind of resources that should help me track her down and try talking some sense in her…if there’s any her left that is.” Jake revealed to the Halliwell hybrid.

“Okay I’m going to do the same to you and ask about this mysterious new job of yours later but as for Lacey she’s still in there she’s just in a really bad place and needs pulling out of it.” Drake said, trying to reassure Jake. “I mean everyone deals with grief differently and she’s lost a lot not that it makes any of what she’s done okay but we will get her back somehow.”

“I miss optimistic Drake he’s not been around in a long time.” Jake stated with a sincere smile.

Raven and Quinn walked into a seedy looking club located within L.A to find Parker Halliwell brawling with another man within a cage in a caged fight as they quickly joined the crowd of onlookers as they watched Parker fight his opponent a fight to which the Halliwell man was quickly winning.

“Remind me again why this guy didn’t get called for duty in the first place?” Raven asked Quinn as they watched Parker’s impressive moves within the cage.

“He did his time so to speak but then disowned everyone after he fixed the whole Wyatt debacle which makes a lot of sense considering Wyatt was his father.” Quinn explained to Raven.

“I’m beginning to think charmed is really just a fancy way of your kind saying cursed.” Raven replied to the elder. “Oh well so he’s going to be a tough sell lucky for us I’m one hell of a lawyer.”

After watching Parker Halliwell become victorious in his cage match they waited patiently until he went to the locker room to change making sure nobody else was in as they followed him.

“Okay here’s the thing I need you to move back to San Francisco and become the third component to the power of three.” Raven revealed to him as her and Quinn came face to face with Parker. “And please don’t say no due to some daddy issues because quite frankly this generation all have daddy issues, I mean every generation does but you lot definitely cry a lot more about them.”

“Excuse me who the hell are you and what did you just say about charmed?” Parker asked, in shock by Raven’s abruptness. “I don’t know who you two are but charmed died a long time ago and I’m done hearing about it.”

“I’m sorry about my friend’s rash approach but we have a funeral to attend soon and emotions are running rather high.” Quinn said to Parker.

“Okay well your clearly either a white lighter or an elder.” Parker replied to Quinn before turning to Raven. “Who are you?”

“My name is Raven and I’m pregnant with your cousin Paul’s second child, but we are here about his firstborn Drake…he was part of the second generation’s charmed ones along with his father and his aunt Pan but they both dead now.” Raven revealed.

“Paul and Pan are dead?” Parker asked with genuine sadness in his voice. “I really thought they’d survive longer than me.”

“Well they never…” Raven said as tears began forming in her eyes before she began allowing herself to cry. “I held his hand as he died…I witnessed them both die and then Drake came home to their bodies…I should’ve been there to stop that from happening to protect him from seeing that like his father would’ve wanted me to.”

“It’s okay.” Quinn told her as he tried to reassure her with a hug only to be brushed away.

“No it’s not okay none of this are okay Paul and Pan are gone, Lacey’s a soulless killer and now Drake’s being dragged into restoring the power of three yet again and I just know if he does it will be the death of him.” Raven cried.

“I am deeply sorry about Paul and Pan they were great people, but I gave up that life a long time ago and for good reason.” Parker explained to them both as Raven finally allowed Quinn to hug her.

“I know and we have no right coming here to ask you in fact I could be in a lot of trouble by so many people for even asking but the thing is Drake’s adoptive parents died in a fire when he was young, then his best friend’s father died at the hands of demons, his mother was killed and then he vanquished his own grandfather.” Quinn rambled. “Not to mention he was brainwashed by a boyfriend, he found his parent and his aunt dead, he went to jail for their murders and the best friend I mention has gone full dark lighter…”

“That sounds like a…” Parker began to say.

“Charmed life.” Raven interrupted before drying her eyes. “I’m so sorry we came here to try and convince you to live a life that has got your entire family killed and for a moment I was considering kidnapping you and forcing you to take his place but the truth is I can’t force you to suffer the same fate he did.”

“Thanks.” Parker responded to her. “You know being a Halliwell isn’t all loss and heartbreak…I got to do remarkable things, save many lives and most of all grow up in a home literally filled with magic.”

“Then why give it up?” Quinn asked Wyatt Halliwell’s son.

“It required too many sacrifices and I decided it was time to live my life for me…which sure meant saying goodbye to my family but at the time after my father’s descent into darkness I couldn’t deal with being a Halliwell anymore.” Parker opened to them both. “I really am sorry about Paul and Pan they were like siblings to me growing up all our cousins were grams was big on family and so were her sisters we all kind of grew up together.”

“Yes, Paul told me all about you he also told me that you used to love being a witch you know before you bound your white lighter side and went off the map.” Raven replied. “It must say something you never bound your witch half.”

“I wouldn’t read too much into it.” Parker told her.

Drake, Paige, Quinn, Raven and Cole stood at the freshly dug gravesides of Paul Halliwell and Pan Morgan-Halliwell, the only five remaining after the funeral proceedings as Paige stood next to Drake hand in hand while the other three stood behind them.

“Piper’s deeply sorry she couldn’t be here to comfort you, but she felt like she need to be with Paul and Pan right now.” Paige told Drake as she hugged into her great-great nephew. “We are so proud of how you are holding up.”

“Yeah well it’s not my first graveside visit.” Drake replied while breaking off their hug. “I doubt it’s going to be my last.”

Before Paige could reply to Drake and tell him something reassuring, he began to walk off with Cole and Raven quickly following him to make sure he was okay as Quinn walked over to speak with his fellow elder.

“I don’t know how Cole manages to keep worming his way back into this family but for once I’m actually happy Drake’s got a friend right now especially after his former friend went all evil.” Paige admitted to Quinn. “But if you tell anyone I said anything even remotely nice about Cole I will kill you!”

“Paige, we need to speak about something Raven and I may have done earlier, and it revolves around a certain great-great nephew you forbid all elders from ever contacting.” Quinn told her.

“Okay now is not the time to tell me you broke the rules!” Paige snapped. “I’m here to support Drake…”

“Why do you think we contacted Parker in the first place?” Quinn unusually snapped back. “I get how we’re supposed to honor his desire to no longer have anything to do with this life, but I don’t get why we’re not honoring Paul and even Melinda’s wishes to see no harm come to Drake.”

“No harm has come to Drake…” Paige began to say.

“Not yet…he’s barely coping right now and forcing him to be the power of three times three will only make things worse.” Quinn admitted to her. “He deserves the kind of break Parker got in fact I think he deserves it more.”

“Hey…Raven thought one of us should stay with you at all times and I draw the short straw.” Cole joked as he walked into the kitchen of the Halliwell Manor to find Drake drinking from a bottle of whisky. “Of course, I’m joking…probably not the best time for a demon to be cracking jokes.”

“Yeah that and you always suck at trying to be funny.” Drake laughed as he continued to drink his whisky. “No offense meant or anything but a truth’s a truth.”

“Fair point.” Cole replied as he walked towards Drake, took the whisky off him and drank from it. “You know it’s never easy losing a parent god I even felt something when Raven killed our mother, I didn’t feel much to be fair but still…it’s never easy.”

“Yeah I’ve had better days.” Drake admitted before snatching the whisky back. “The truth is I just keep telling myself the day will be over soon but I’m beginning to fear what tomorrow is going to look like.”

“Well whatever it may look like I’ll be here.” Cole promised him.

“Thanks.” Drake said with a sincere smile before Rose walked into the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind me just inviting myself to the wake it’s just my mother worked for your father and something inside me told me I should be here.” Rose said to Drake. “I’m guessing your Paul Halliwell’s son Drake, right?”

“Correct and no you’re more than welcome here.” Drake replied to her before walking over and shaking her hand. “Who was your mother?”

“Patience Craft although she just went by Patty.” Rose answered her.

“Oh my…Patty Craft…are you Penny or Rose?” Drake wondered, knowing this girl in front of him was another charmed one as they broke off their handshake. “I’m really sorry for your loss too my dad said Patty was an amazing woman.”

“I’m Rose and yeah my mum was a really amazing woman.” Rose agreed.

“Yeah she really was.” Penny said as she too walked into the kitchen before walking over to shake Drake’s hand. “Again, sorry for the intrusion but I felt like I kind of needed to be here too.”

“Wish you had told me, so I didn’t have to get a flight solo.” Rose mumbled to herself.

“It’s no problem…stay and enjoy the food and drink in the dining room.” Drake told Penny as he broke off their handshake. “I just need to go and greet everyone.”

“Drake I think now would be as good a time as ever.” Cole suggested to the Halliwell hybrid.

“Not now Cole.” Drake replied.

“Drake…” Cole began to say.

“I said not now!” Drake snapped at him.

“Actually, I don’t want to be rude but there is something I’d like to talk to you about regarding my mother’s death.” Penny butted in. “You see I never believed it was some mysterious case of spontaneous combustion I mean I’m a detective and I like cold hard evidence and there was just none until recently.”

“What do you mean until recently?” Drake wondered.

“I believe whatever killed my mother killed your father and aunt too and it may kill you if you don’t allow me to help you.” Penny revealed much to Drake, Rose and Cole’s shock.

“Well I guess my showing up here to ask questions about a baby blanket is a lot less rude now.” Rose admitted before turning to Penny. “Way to go sis.”

“Well she’s not exactly wrong…” Cole stated.

“I really didn’t want to do this here and now, but you’ve given me no other choice.” Drake said before taking a deep sigh. “Your mother was adopted my father was her biological brother and they were witches.”

“Hold up did you just say witches?” Rose asked Drake. “My mum was into that hocus pocus stuff no offence or anything.”

“That’s because she never knew she was a witch and her powers were bound.” Cole explained to Rose.

“You can’t seriously expect us to believe this.” Penny said to Drake.

“What kind of witch?” Rose wondered.

“The strongest kind a Halliwell and you both are the strongest type of Halliwell witches.” Drake continued to reveal to the two stunned sisters. “Your charmed ones.”

“Well this day just got interesting!” Rose admitted with excitement in her eyes.

“You can’t seriously be believing this?” Penny snapped at her younger sister before turning to look at Drake. “I’m sorry clearly you’re distraught and grieving right now I’ll come back in a few days.”

“It always leads to show and tell before anyone starts believing.” Drake said as he grabbed a hold of Penny and Rose. “Don’t worry it took me a lot to believe this too.”

“Hey,” Cole said just before Drake blinked out of sight with the two sisters. “Just leave me on my own why don’t you?”

“You’ve got to stop following me before I have to vanquish your ass!” Parker warned Quinn after he walked into his bedsit within L.A to find Quinn stood there waiting for him.

“Listen your aunt Paige is already pissed with me for even contacting you so please just hear me out.” Quinn pleaded with Parker.

“Okay,” Parker sighed as he closed the door behind him. “You have five minutes, but I mean five minutes and five minutes only.”

“Have you ever been in love?” Quinn asked him.

“Yes, but I don’t see why that’s any of your business or what it’s got to do with why you’re here?” Parker wondered.

“Drake’s the love of my life actually the love of both my lives and he’s been through so much as you were already informed I’ve watched him fight for happiness over the last three years and I’ve been as much a cause as anyone to why it’s always out of his reach.” Quinn explained to the runaway Halliwell. “Paul would never want this life for his son…you must’ve been deeply struggling with everything when you walked away from it all but you see Drake can’t do that, no Drake won’t do that unless he knows there’s someone else to take his place in the power of three.”

“I get that I do I wish there was a power of three back then too but there wasn’t…I lost a lot before I walked away…my sister, my mother and then my father.” Parker responded with a heartbroken look across his face. “We could’ve used the charmed ones, but they were dead, and I did what I had to do.”

“And you did the right thing!” Quinn told him. “Just like becoming the charmed ones alongside Patience’s daughters would be the right thing.”

“He’s right sweetie!” Piper said after appearing out of nowhere. “We granted your wish to stay away after everything we even enlisted Paul’s son instead of you or Patience for the charmed ones because we had no clue if Patience was even alive and we wanted to respect your wishes.”

“Patience is alive?” Parker asked in shock.

“Not anymore.” Quinn reluctantly told him.

“The point is we did what you wanted us to do each time because you needed time to heal but now it’s Drake’s turn and we need you back.” Piper told Parker as she walked towards her grandson. “We have missed you so much, I have missed you so much please come back to us and let your second cousin find some peace. We’re not saying it has to be forever if you don’t want to be, but we’d really like to have you back especially me.”

“I’ve missed you Grams.” Parker admitted with tears in his eyes before Piper rushed over to hug her grandson.

“So, your telling us we have powers?” Rose asked Drake while she, Drake and Penny stood in the attic of the Halliwell Manor.

“Don’t believe him Rose this is clearly some crazy trick he’s pulling to cover up what really happened to our mother.” Penny told her sister.

“Your mother was killed by a demon simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and I know this won’t bring you much comfort but we vanquished the demon that killed her well more my father’s girlfriend did.” Drake revealed to them both. “We didn’t know it then, but Patty was my father and aunt’s sister who was kidnapped at birth.”

“So, now your saying our grandparents are kidnappers?” Penny snapped at the Halliwell hybrid.

“Not your adoptive grandparents no but your biological grandfather our biological grandfather was.” Drake explained to them both. “He thought he was protecting her just like my father did when he gave me up but the truth is this is a wicked world and being in the know about how truly terrible it is, is the only way to stay alive.”

“Way to go on selling the whole witch thing by the way.” Rose joked. “Although I’m still intrigued by the previously mentioned powers.”

“Yeah that’s what got me at first too.” Drake laughed at the younger Craft sister.

“We don’t have powers I mean I’ve lived my entire life without powers and so has my sister I think we’d noticed if we had powers, I mean I’m a detective and I’m good at my job.” Penny argued with him.

“If you’re good at your job then you’ll notice there’s a whole lot of unsolved cases just like your mother’s which are truly unexplainable or rather were unexplainable until I gave you the answer right now.” Drake stated.

“Okay…if we’re witches what are our powers?” Penny asked him.

“Well I have telekinesis and astral projection the later came to me later in life after I bound my white lighter side.” Parker revealed to Penny and Rose as he walked into the attic of the Halliwell Manor with Quinn quickly following behind him. “Which must mean one of you has molecular immobilization and the other has the power of premonition.”

“What exactly is molecular immobilization?” Rose asked the room. “I mean premonition is self-explanatory but…”

“It’s basically freezing molecules like objects people and things.” Drake and Penny said in unison before looking at each other awkwardly.

“Okay so if any of this is real how do we get these so-called powers?” Penny questioned.

“From what I remember being told we all just need to hold hands.” Parker told her.

“Hold up what does he mean by we all?” Drake asked Quinn.

“I may have broken a few rules to find and locate Parker with a lot of help from Raven so he could take your place as a charmed one so you could finally be free to be happy.”  Quinn answered as he walked over to Drake. “I finally put you first just like you wanted me too.”

Drake had no words to respond to Quinn’s amazing kindness but he didn’t need words as he pulled Quinn in for a long and passionate kiss while Parker walked over and grabbed a hold of Penny and Pan’s hands as Drake and Quinn continued to kiss each other passionately the blue light appeared above the three new charmed ones as they look up towards it with pure awe.

“Hold up if he’s getting out of this does this mean this whole charmed thing is optional?” Penny asked Rose and Parker before being hushed by Rose.

Trinity Banks the socialite prisoner found herself sleeping in the bottom bunk having to listen to the lady on the top bunk snore away much to her frustration before beginning to attack the bed upwards and screaming in a pure fit of frustration before attempting to cover the pillow over her face only to suddenly feel the pillow pushed down on her as she began to shake viciously and try to pull the pillow off her before it was removed only for her to be left horrified to see Cole Turner stood above her in her cell holding the pillow in question.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” She shouted at him. “You almost killed me you psychopath.”

“You mean like you ordered someone to murder Pan and Paul Halliwell.” Cole replied to her.

“Oh, great your another one of the good annoying little witches.” Trinity moaned as she stood up from her bed. “Go ahead and put another sentence on top of my sentence and then I’ll just get you killed too.”

“Yeah I’m neither good nor bad.” Cole said as he grabbed Trinity by the neck and lifted her body in the air, choking the socialite. “I’m more in the grey-scale and I believe in hurting those who’ve hurt people I care about.”

Trinity’s body quickly caught fire the flames burning her quickly as she began screaming in pain before her body exploded much to Cole’s delight.

“So, where do you go from here?” Parker asked Drake as he walked into Drake’s bedroom to find him finishing packing his bag and putting it over his shoulder.

“Anywhere but here I guess I can’t thank you enough for everything you’re doing Parker.” Drake thanked him as he walked over to Lilah’s cot and picked her up. “I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if I had to stick around here.”

“You would’ve stuck around and the got job done because that’s what we do in this family even if it breaks us.” Parker replied. “This way you can go and do whatever you want to do you get to be with your daughter and you get to try your hand at being happy.”

“Happy,” Drake laughed as he put Lilah into her pram and began clipping her in. “I don’t think I even remember what happy is.”

“I’m guessing happy starts with that hot elder who has this dork thing going for him.” Parker joked.

“He is hot in the dorkiest way possible right?” Drake agreed. “He’s an elder and although he came through for me today that was a onetime thing.”

“That kiss didn’t look like a one-time thing.” Parker told his second cousin. “It’s been a long time since somebody kissed me like that, and it was never a one-time thing when they did.”

“Boy or girl?” Drake wondered.

“I’m strictly a man only kind of man you?” Parker answered.

“I prefer the best of both worlds.” Drake replied to the newly returned Halliwell. “Are you sure you going to manage the power of three with them two? I mean Rose will probably love this life but Penny she’s going to be a hard sell probably even harder a sell than I was.”

“I’ve got this don’t worry besides I got to go out to the big bad world solo and now I’m back it’s your turn.” Parker told him as Drake placed himself behind the buggy, placing his hands on the handles. “What are you going to do about your job at Magic School?”

“I’m taking a sabbatical until I decide what me and the little one are doing next but I’m going to have a lot of fun working that out first I think Disneyland is the first thing I’m going to do.” Drake admitted to his cousin. “Then maybe travel the world a little I’ve got grandparents in Miami who are always pestering me for a visit especially since Lilah was born…as stupid as it sounds, I think I’m going to find myself.”

“That doesn’t sound stupid at all.” Parker responded with a smile. “Good luck Drake Black-Halliwell I’m sure we’ll see you again someday.”

“Yeah maybe you will goodbye cousin.” Drake replied before blinking out of sight with his daughter.

Many Years Ago

“He’s going to be alright Eve he’s going to live a great and wonderful life.” Pan told Eve as she walked out of her front door of the Halliwell Manor and sat down on the doorstep next to her demonic girlfriend. “It’s going to be hard for a while, but we’ll all get through this the knowledge of him getting to go somewhere else and be far away from all this is what will make us feel that tiniest bit less sad.”

“Yeah your right I know you are it’s just I’d love to be a part of that wonderful life of his.”  Eve cried as she hugged into Pan. “I really hope he’s going to be okay.”

“He’s going to be more than okay he’s going to be truly magnificent.” Paul said as he appeared at the front door.

[aneilert]

The One With Everything [MAG158: Panopticon]

This episode was delayed almost 20 hours, sending the whole early-access-community into a gradually deafening frenzy even before it launched. And then it took off for real. 

The rest of the day has been a bit of a blur, to be honest, and if I’ve done anything not connected to relistening and speculating, then at least I can guarantee that neither my brain nor my heart was involved in it.

It’s hard to be eloquent when faced with this much content. I have raved elsewhere about the quality as well as the sheer quantity of content this episode can boast, but I’d like at least to post my List of Things We Had Expected, Hoped For and/or Dreaded and that happened, were confirmed or who returned in this episode:

1. Tim mention and grief

The fandom has never stopped grieving Tim Stoker, and every once in a while, someone will sigh about how they miss him and how much they wish his death would be at least mentioned on the show. Did he have no impact? Have they forgotten him? Well, canon has spoken: They have not. 

2. Not!Sasha coming back

I can honestly say I never spent much time on the theories that muttered about how she had been enclosed in the tunnels and probably still was there. My bad. I will certainly never again forget the old rule that if someone (or something) doesn’t die on camera (as it were), they’re not dead. (And fuck were those amazing voice distortions!)

3. Leitner’s book coming back

Don’t forget where you put your evil book. It might not be there anymore when you come back for it a year or two later. (The blood on it, btw? Also Leitner. That bit was hilarious. I despise Peter, but he has brought some of the funniest lines this season; «In my defence, it’s still quite funny» is my personal favourite.)

4. Elias escaping prison

We didn’t think anything was keeping him there longer than he wanted to, and we were right; it was just a matter of timing. He would never want to come sneaking back if he could be making an Entrance.

5. Jonah!Elias

Probably the most popular fan theory (apart from those concerning various ships) is canon. And what a deliciously disturbing visual it is; Jonah Magnus’ eyeless body aging in the Panopticon while his eyes do what they have always done: watch over his Institute. Never has Elias sounded more smug and delighted with himself than in this episode, and you know what? Much as I hate him, I’d say he’s earned it.

6. Elias/Peter meeting

Trust fandoms to make feverish ships built out of characters who have never interacted in canon. And boy, do the LonelyEyes shippers feel vindicated today! Not only did the two horrible old men finally interact, but their dynamic was revealed to be exactly that of an old, dysfunctional and probably multiple times divorced couple. Even Jonny said so. 

7. Martin having A Plan / having played Peter

We love Martin and worry about Martin, and we have been extremely worried about his latest signs of being fully on board (sic) with Peter’s nebulous plan. Is he that naïve? Is he that far gone? Or … is he playing Peter? Is he weaving his own little web, like in the previous season, when he managed to play Elias?

The truth, as so often, is a place in between. He has been playing Peter (and God was that an amazing reveal and a heart-rending speech! And Christ was Elias gleeful when he reminded Peter that he had been warned not to underestimate Martin, but that he still did it!), but he has also been joining the Lonely. There is something to be said for being able to keep distance, I guess. Even though it makes me heartsick.

8. Tape with Gertrude’s death and last confrontation with Elias

This is something I have been wanted for some time now. Gertrude is awesome and marvellous and badass and truly scary, and I have been wondering: did her hubris kill her? How did Elias take her down? What happened? 

Well, now we know. Or … we know part of it. Gertrude’s body had three shots fired in it, but the tape only contained one. And the tape was numbered #0182509-A, hinting at possibly a B existing somewhere. Maybe we haven’t heard the last from Gertrude yet?

Also: How very satisfying it was to see that Gertrude had basically the same plan as Martin: Burn some Institute stuff to keep Elias from seeing the real threat! I love what this says about Elias’ complacency and underestimation when it comes to Martin (but I worry what yet another parallel with Gertrude might bode for his future …).

9. Peter taking Martin into the Lonely

The premise of a lot of fics. Can’t wait to see how it plays out in canon.

10. Hunters returning at an inopportune moment

We all, including Jon and the gang, knew they were out there and that it was just a matter of time. Still fun! (Particularly Trevor yelling JONNY BOY!)

11. Daisy going feral

Oh, this is hard; she wanted so much to be free of the Hunt. But honestly: this is why she was brought back, whether she (or Jon) knew it or not: To reconnect with her humanity, and then to give it up willingly to save her friends. And, why not, to have the savage joy of ripping out a few more throats while she’s at it. 

Will Basira honour their promise? Well, that’s a tale for another day, as the story says. For now, let’s just enjoy the amazing sound distortion on Daisy’s breath, her voice and finally her growl. Daisy scared fucking Julia Montouk, and not many can boast that.

12. Jon and Elias talk

It’s been a long time coming. It was not at all what I had expected in any way, but it was amazing. And Jon hardly even noted what Elias was saying or how he gloated, because he was 100 % focused on …

13. Jon following Martin into the Lonely

Of course he did. Of course. He went into the Buried to get Daisy, and he didn’t even like Daisy, and she tried to kill him. Of course there’s no limit anymore to how much he will risk himself for a tiny sliver of hope that he might save Martin.

I worry so for them, though. Martin has refused Peter’s plans, true enough, but he has not refused the Lonely. He has been sliding into Forsaken for Jon’s sake, but he has still been sliding into Forsaken! And Jon’s journey into monsterdom is if anything even more worrying and harder to reverse.They have both been trying desperately and without any real clue as to how to save the world for each other’s sake, but what have they given up along the way? 

Still. Jon clawed his way out of the Buried fuelled by Martin and by the signal from his rib. Who’s to say it might not work a second time?

Also: the one person we didn’t meet who I almost had expected, was Annabelle. Someone must have put this last tape on Jon’s desk – and someone must also, long ago, have given him that lighter that he never can focus on long enough to remember he has. Is there a silvery Web thread connected to it, where it lies in his pocket? Could he be able to follow that thread out again?

I have no idea. I also have no idea how I am supposed to wait for the next two episodes. Or how my head felt before this podcast ate my entire brain.