#If you recognize where the first 2 are from
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So Letâs TalkâŠ
For many adults, the mere sight of a pile of dirty dishes can trigger memories of their childhood trauma, leading to feelings of anxiety, shame, or worthlessness. Even if they have the skills to complete the task, their emotional landscape can create barriers that hinder their ability to follow through. This struggle can feel isolating, as it may not be readily apparent to others why a seemingly straightforward household chore can provoke such intense feelings.
The journey of healing from an abusive childhood is complex and often filled with setbacks. It involves unlearning negative thought patterns, building self-esteem, and developing the ability to advocate for oneself. For adults who experienced this kind of upbringing, simply knowing how to do the dishes isnât enough; they may need to navigate their emotional responses to the task first.
To foster a healthier relationship with chores for all children, itâs essential to teach them in a supportive and encouraging environment. Here are some key approaches:
1. **Model Positivity**: Adults should model a positive attitude towards chores by showing that they can be a part of daily life. Use language that frames chores as a shared responsibility rather than a burden.
2. **Encourage Autonomy**: Allow children, regardless of gender, to take ownership of their tasks. Instead of enforcing chores through punishment, help them understand the importance of contributing to a communal space.
3. **Provide Guidance**: Teach children how to do chores by guiding them through the process rather than forcing them. For example, you can turn washing dishes into a fun activity by making it a game or incorporating music.
4. **Normalize Mistakes**: Make it clear that making mistakes is part of learning. This helps children develop resilience and reduces the fear of failure that can stem from abusive environments.
5. **Open Communication**: Encourage children to express their feelings about chores. If theyâre feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, creating a safe space for those emotions can help them articulate their needs and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
6. **Celebrate Achievements**: Recognize and celebrate the completion of chores, no matter how small. Acknowledging their efforts can boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviors.
7. **Teach Life Skills**: Emphasize that chores are essential life skills that contribute to a healthy lifestyle. This includes teaching the benefits of maintaining a clean space for mental and physical well-being.
By using these approaches, we can help children build a healthier relationship with chores, reducing the likelihood of trauma manifesting in adulthood. The goal is to create a nurturing environment that fosters independence, self-worth, and emotional regulation, empowering individuals to tackle daily tasks without the weight of past trauma.
When it comes to teaching children about chores and responsibilities, especially in sensitive contexts where trauma may be a concern, there are critical practices to avoid to prevent further traumatization. Hereâs what NOT to do:
1. **Do Not Use Fear as a Motivator**: Avoid threatening or instilling fear as a way to get children to do their chores. This can create anxiety and reinforce negative associations with responsibilities.
2. **Do Not Yell or Berate**: Refrain from raising your voice or using harsh words when a child does not complete a chore. This can be emotionally damaging and may trigger past trauma.
3. **Do Not Punish for Mistakes**: Making mistakes is part of the learning process. Avoid punishing children for errors in completing chores, as this can lead to shame and fear of trying again.
4. **Do Not Dismiss Their Feelings**: If a child expresses fear, anxiety, or frustration about chores, do not minimize their feelings. Acknowledge and validate their emotions, showing understanding and support.
5. **Do Not Overwhelm Them**: Assigning too many or overly complex tasks can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. Keep chores age-appropriate and manageable to help them feel successful.
6. **Do Not Compare to Others**: Avoid comparing a child's efforts to those of their peers or siblings. This can create feelings of inadequacy and pressure, making them reluctant to engage in chores.
7. **Do Not Ignore Individual Needs**: Every child is different, especially if they have experienced trauma. Do not assume a one-size-fits-all approach; tailor chores to fit each child's unique capabilities and emotional state.
8. **Do Not Make Chores Gendered**: Avoid assigning chores based on gender stereotypes. All children should learn to contribute to household tasks, reinforcing that these responsibilities are not gender-specific.
9. **Do Not Present Chores as Punishment**: Chores should not be framed as a consequence for misbehavior. This can associate responsibilities with negative experiences, pushing children away from taking part.
10. **Do Not Neglect Positive Reinforcement**: Failing to praise or acknowledge a childâs efforts when they complete a chore can diminish their motivation. Celebrating small successes helps build confidence.
11. **Do Not Force Compliance**: Forcing a child to do chores without their willingness can lead to resistance and resentment. Encourage participation rather than demanding it.
12. **Do Not Ignore the Importance of Teaching**: Simply telling children to do chores without explaining the reasons behind them can lead to confusion and frustration. Teach them about the importance of contributing to the household.
By avoiding these practices, you can help create a nurturing environment that fosters a positive relationship with chores, promotes emotional well-being, and minimizes the risk of further traumatizing children.
When supporting an adult who experienced trauma related to chores or responsibilities as a child, it's essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Hereâs a guide on what to do and what not to do in order to help them navigate their feelings and encourage healthier behaviors:
â
What To Do:
1. **Listen Actively**: Provide a safe space for them to express their feelings. Listen without judgment and validate their experiences and emotions.
2. **Be Patient**: Understand that healing from trauma is a process that takes time. Be patient with their progress and avoid pushing them to overcome their fears too quickly.
3. **Encourage Open Communication**: Foster an environment where they feel comfortable discussing their feelings about chores and responsibilities. Encourage them to share their triggers and concerns.
4. **Offer Support, Not Pressure**: Offer to help with chores or responsibilities without imposing pressure. Let them know youâre there to support them, but allow them to take the lead in what they are comfortable with.
5. **Normalize Mistakes**: Remind them that itâs okay to make mistakes and that they can learn and grow from them. Emphasize that everyone struggles with tasks at times.
6. **Celebrate Small Wins**: Acknowledge and celebrate their efforts, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can build confidence and motivate them to continue facing their challenges.
7. **Provide Resources**: If theyâre open to it, suggest resources like therapy or support groups that specialize in trauma and mental health. Professional help can be incredibly beneficial.
8. **Model Healthy Behaviors**: Demonstrate a positive attitude towards chores and responsibilities by engaging in them with a sense of calm and positivity. Your behavior can influence theirs.
9. **Encourage Mindfulness**: Introduce mindfulness techniques or grounding exercises that can help them manage anxiety when faced with tasks that trigger their trauma.
10. **Respect Their Boundaries**: If they express discomfort or resistance to certain tasks or discussions, respect their boundaries and donât push the issue.
đ« What Not To Do:
1. **Do Not Minimize Their Feelings**: Avoid dismissing or downplaying their feelings about chores. This can make them feel unheard and invalidated.
2. **Do Not Pressure Them to Conform**: Forcing them to engage in chores or responsibilities before they are ready can lead to increased anxiety and resentment.
3. **Do Not Compare Them to Others**: Avoid making comparisons to how others handle chores. This can increase feelings of inadequacy and hinder their progress.
4. **Do Not Use Guilt or Shame**: Avoid using guilt or shame to motivate them to complete tasks. This can be damaging and may trigger past trauma.
5. **Do Not Assume You Understand**: Everyoneâs experiences of trauma are unique. Avoid assumptions and instead ask questions to understand their perspective better.
6. **Do Not Criticize Their Efforts**: Critiquing how they approach tasks can be discouraging. Instead, focus on encouragement and support.
7. **Do Not Ignore Their Triggers**: If they mention certain tasks or situations that trigger their trauma, do not disregard these. Acknowledge and take their triggers seriously.
8. **Do Not Avoid the Topic**: While itâs important to be sensitive, avoiding the topic altogether can prevent healing. Engage in gentle conversations when theyâre ready.
9. **Do Not Enable Avoidance**: While itâs important to be supportive, donât enable avoidance behaviors. Instead, gently encourage them to face their challenges at their own pace.
10. **Do Not Forget Self-Care**: Supporting someone with trauma can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you also practice self-care and seek support if needed.
By following these guidelines, you can create a supportive environment that helps the individual navigate their trauma while fostering healing and encouraging healthier behaviors over time.
#dirty dishes#dishes#trama#childhood trauma#child health#what to do#what not to do#child abuse#tips and advice#step by step#mental health#mental health advocate#mental health awareness#parenting#support#parents and children#children are people#understanding#childhood#child development#support system#good relationships#protect children#protect our children#protect our kids#advocateforchange#childhood truama#trauma response#trauma recovery#trauma is a bitch
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Hello hello I hope your weekend is going well!! May I humbly request more cat shifter!Reader? What happens after they run out while sick?
It went very well and my birthday is today so I'll be having fun :) and absolutely you can!
Part 2 of Catshifter au
~
You collapsed. Your sick body couldn't continue on running, too drained of energy. Your energy had been sapped during the rapid shift of the previous night and the restless sleep hadn't helped.
You had just barely managed to slip under a dumpster before falling, so you were out of the rain. Small mercies.
Meanwhile, the boys were worrying like crazy. First off, they hadn't been expecting you to be a shifter thing. They were military. Of course, they had heard about the shifter experiments, but they never expected to meet that one escaped experiment.
Price was on the phone, talking to Laswell. He was trying to get more information on it all, why the program started, how you had escaped, and what he needed to expect. He needed some form of control - this time it was knowledge.
Soap and Gaz had gone out on foot, calling out for you. Hell, they didn't even know your name. They were just trying to find you. You were sick and they had bleeding hearts. The questions could come after they knew you were safe.
Ghost was browsing missing persons lists online, trying to place your face. Trying to get a name for you, even if he knew it would probably be a dead end. He had also readied the guest bedroom, somewhere safe for Soap and Gaz to put you.
Hours later, you were out wandering again, this time in human form. You needed to get to your apartment to get some medicine. Well, the few dollars you had were going to go to the cheapest medicine you could find. Then you could curl up in cat form and sleep.
What you didn't expect was to run into Gaz as you tried to enter the small corner store, money bills crumpled in your hand. Eyes hazy with your bad fever. You hadn't even recognized him at first, your cat eyes being colorblind, but it was the hat that gave him away. You could easily spot that same blue in both forms.
So, you ducked your head and pulled the worn coat closer, just trying to ignore him.
Gaz wasn't having any of that. He recognized your worn, sick look right away. And your face was recognizable from the pure shock of when he first saw it.
He reached out and grabbed your elbow, "are you okay?" Worry clouding his eyes.
You froze for just a moment. Eyes flicking about. Your eyes were the exact same shade as they were in your other form, he knew it was you and you couldn't deny it.
"Why don't you come with me? We'll help you, promise." Gaz adds on, voice earnest. Your eyes scan his face. "No going back, we'll keep you safe."
You hold his gaze for a minute, then two, tension dragging down the atmosphere. Even people around you were uncomfortable. But then, almost imperceptibly, you nod.
His smile is blinding.
~
So that's how you found yourself back at their house, mostly shellshocked. Gaz had been quick to whisk you away after grabbing medicine, which he didn't let you pay for when you silently offered your crumpled money.
Ghost was on the defense and wrapped you tightly in a big blanket. christ, it was to be thrice the size of a normal king blanket and sat you on the couch where they could watch you. Soap clanked around in the kitchen, trying to make a soup, but he didn't know if all foods were safe for you or not.
Price was sat in front of you, his blue eyes glued onto your face. You stared back at him, just as unblinking. It reminded you a lot of the scientists stares. You didn't like it.
So you really couldn't stop the small growl building in your throat. Even if you didn't like talking, you had no problem using your cat-like vocals to voice your dislike and annoyance of his stare.
Price clears his throat and looks away, momentarily looking at Gaz. Something passes between their gazes, something you can't decipher, but it puts you on edge.
"Eat, rest, we'll talk when you feel better," Price states before getting up and walking down the hallway. You watch him go.
Soap brings out a big bowl of soup, which he hands to Ghost. Ghost sits next to you and holds up a spoon.
He was feeding you.
The thought makes you bristle for a moment, but your hands were well and truly trapped in the blanket. So you just pull a face but let him feed you silently.
Being so warm and belly full of the best meal you've had in months, your pupils blow out and a small purr bubbles out of your throat. Ghost looks satisfied at that and helps you finish off the soup before leaving.
Soap takes up the rear where Ghost leaves, and he guides you to the guestroom. The scot talks a mile a minute, which you struggle to keep up with. You weren't used to so much attention, attention that didn't hurt. Soap is gentle as he helps you get in bed, tucking you in more.
You just look at him and shift into your cat form and go beneath the bed instead. You miss the small pout on his face.
But even with the tense moments, this was the safest you had felt in a long time. That comfort helps you fall asleep.
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#john price#task force 141#ghost x reader#cat shifter reader#gaz x reader#price x reader#soap x reader#hurt/comfort#some fluff#some angst#love me a shifter au#sickfic#? i guess
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12/15-16/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR: David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Nathan Foad; Leslie Jones; Vico Ortiz; Samson Kayo; Kristin Schaal; Madeleine Sami; Guz Khan; Adopt Our Crew and Save Queer Stories; Fan Spotlight: TinyCrewBigRaffle Updates; Our Glad Means Fanfiction; Never Left Podcast; OFMD Advent Calendar; Loves Notes;
= David Jenkins =
Annnnnnd Chaos Dad is back to his old vendettas against cats!
Source: David Jenkins Bsky
= Rhys Darby =
Rhys was featured in Beat Magazine for his upcoming tour!
Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram
= Taika Waititi =
Taika out in AUS or Aotearoa!
Source: Instagram
= Nathan Foad =
Nathan shared this video made by ourflagonmax about Lucius.. with the message "miss him :')". We do too Nathan!! I attached the video down below!
instagram
Source: Our Flag On Max
= Leslie Jones =
Leslie is currently in Italy! She's been posting great videos that you can check out on her Instagram!
instagram
instagram
Source: Leslie's Instagram
= Samson Kayo =
Some more Samson out Behind the Scenes of the F1 movie!
Source: Instagram
= Vico Ortiz =
Tale of the Transcestors was live for 12/12 - 12/14! There were so many amazing photos taken, check them out below!
Source: ChloeGlowyFlowy Instagram
instagram
Source: Instagram
Source: Germaine Arroyo Instagram
= Kristen Schaal =
Now I don't feature her too often, but I thought it'd be a good idea for this recap because Kristin Schaal (aka Antoinette from The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, and you may also recognize her as Mel from Flight of the Conchords!) was a big part of the What We Do In The Shadows TV Show which had its finale on the 16th!
Source: K. Schaal's Intagram
= Madeleine Sami =
In case you hadn't heard, Deadloch Season 2 is wrapped! Look at these lovely ladies! Can't wait for the next season!
Source: Madeleine Sami's Instagram
= Guz Khan =
Source: Guz Khan
== Adopt Our Crew - Save Our Queer Stories ==
Our friends over at @adoptourcrew shared the initiative of @savequeerstories! Want to help support our cancelled show (or so many others that were cancelled prematurely) their carrd has some great ways to help! https://actforqueerstories.carrd.co./#action
Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter
== Fan Spotlight ==
= OFMD Buys Boats =
Some more updates from our friends @ofmd-buys-boats!
Source: OFMD Buys Boats Instagram Stories
= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =
A new podfic episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction is out --"Up, Down, Turn Around" by Shearwater, and read by Andrew. According to OFMFF, this Andrea's first podfic!
Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram
= Never Left Podcast =
New episode of Never Left! This week they're talking about Art! There are some supportive visuals to check out as well!
instagram
instagram
instagram
Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram
= OFMD Advent Calendar =
Another set of Advent Calendar doors by our sweet TillyChMo on @ofmdadventcalendar.bsky.social! The 9th Door Features the fantastic @inkirtis!
The 10th Door features the glorious @clairegregoryau!
The 11th Door features the very sweet @cufeilidh!
Source: OFMDAdventCalendar Bsky
== Love Notes ==
Hey there lovelies, things have been a bit crazy with the holidays going on! Will be catching up as I can-- hope you all are staying safe out there! I am trying to get two recaps out tonight, so this first one will be some other folks love notes for ya <3 Take care!
instagram
Source: Anxiety Positive Instagram
instagram
Source: Positively Present Instagram
#Instagram#daily ofmd recap#ofmd daily recap#rhys darby#david jenkins#taika waititi#vico ortiz#samson kayo#leslie jones#guz khan#madeleine sami#kristen schaal#nathan foad#tale of the trancestors#our flag means fanfiction podcast#ofmd buys boats#tiny crew big raffle#never left podcast#ofmd advent calendar#adopt our crew#save queer stories#save ofmd#our flag means death#long live ofmd
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It gets even more apparent when Paisley jumps into the mix. Because Zach sees this as the perfect opportunity to get another individual in his little group, and he's very much evident to try and quickly induct her into the group (Gourmand's reaction to his call is very telling though tbf I DO understand why anyone would be bothered lmao). And even then, she shows some annoyance towards him. And we also see this in Creepy Creatures where Paisley literally foots the bill onto Zach: Athena P made a very good point about how Paisley (at least in Season 5 when she was still new to the group) could very much be using Zach for financial gain, knowing that his ineptitude would require financial compensation (and on the off-chance he gets what he wants, it would benefit her as well).
I mentioned this before, but Season 7 really shows a different angle to the villain dynamic (until I'm proven wrong in a future episode). We're yet to see the collective villains team up (unless you count the Season 7 premiere where they all try to go after the raven) and what's more, we see Paisley betray Zach to join the Kratts.
And not only that, but in his next appearance, Donita flat-out threatens Zach with mob violence over a petty loan. The same person who outright paid Zach to make a de-activator, and lent him his pose-beam in Season 7, not to mention all the way back in Season 1 during their first encounter when she was willing to accept a stolen jewel in exchange for partnership.
And finally, in the latest episode, he flat-out tries to replace his Zachbots by capturing a chimpanzee to make his assistant, but he still relies on them and talks to them; He sends them after the chimpanzee and siccs them onto Zach, Chris, and the infant chimp. Why? Because he knows he still needs them (and this is where another fan-theory of Zach manufacturing the bots' intelligence to prevent an uprising comes into play)
What this essentially means for Zach is that he is losing hella control here; His villain comrades, whilst willingly collaborating with him, and show a further and further disdain for him despite them repeatedly coming back to him when it benefits them. And it's gotten to a point where one of his fellow villains has threatened outright violence against him, and the other up and quit without much of a second thought. Something like this wouldn't have happened to such a degree in Season 1 or 2, (both of which imply that this is very early on in the villains' friendship) or even Season 3, but in the latter half of the series post-Season 4 it becomes noticeable.
And in fairness, with how immature, whiny, rude and entitled Zach is, one could argue that he would deserve it (I mean he does but still) but it's very evident that he is falling down from the pedestal he puts himself up upon, and will likely lack the self-awareness to recognize such. It would not surprise me if the villains wound up turning on him, or he turns on them, or he tries to regain control through some massive scheme that can't fail (maybe possibly trying to bring Paisley back or take her down).
Either way, there is some definite tension amongst the villains (or rather, on their relationship with Zach) that's bound to break at some point.
After rewatching most of the series, i have come to a very heartbreaking fact about zach. In all of the episodes where he teams up with the other villains, they seem to get along relatively well with each other, but zach to them is like a huge nuisance. ïżŒ
LIKE,,,donita and gourmand get along well enoug but just because he cant think of an idea they are like ââŠâ
But what really sells this for me is that
HE WILL CONTINUE TO ASK THEM TO JOIN HIM FOR STUFF.
I genuinely think he is incredibly lonely and really just wants attention and friends, thats why he is the way he is. This is the same dude that talks to his zach bots for fun and will lay out his evil plans to them. Why? BECAUSE HE WANTS SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO HIMMM
#reblog#wild kratts#zach varmitech#donita donata#gaston gourmand#paisley paver#I love over-analyzing
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Allura decides to use Kat for some dress up time and is enjoying having a pseudo-sister
#my art#Kat#voltron oc#voltron allura#vld allura#voltron legendary defender#doodles#If you recognize where the first 2 are from#congrats!! youre as keep in the k-webtoon scene as i am#pos of course
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hmm
#nonsims#been thinking of the support group that starts this sunday#in a way my brains are all 'you don't need to go if it makes you uncomfortable!!! you can just stay home!!! that would be sooo comfy!!!'#but at the same time i recognize that stepping out of my comfort zone might be very good in this particular case#not that i haven't been out of my comfort zone all my life lol#i just know that i need Something that feels real and important in my life#i need to build myself some kind of a life where i will still have things to live for if/when i lose the most important people in my life#and you know what. i counted the social things i've done independently as an adult#like sure my bf's friends visit us a few times a year#but for me those visits are 100% tied to my bf and i would never see those people without him cos they're HIS friends#i do always refer to them as our friends but the reality is that i would never hear from them again if me and the bf split up#so i counted the stuff i've done independently (school or work or hanging out with mom/grandma/bf not included)#i've had dinner with my coworkers TWICE (i didn't want to go but i didn't dare stand out by not going)#i've been to a bar with my work partner ONCE (after one of those dinners)#i see my BFF 2-3 times PER YEAR#that's it. that's my independent social life for AT LEAST the last 12 years#so you know if i were to go to the support group and attend all 11 meetings...#that would be like the biggest social thing for me in my whole adult life#and it's so funny cos it's an AUTISM support group!!! my biggest social thing would be an autism support group!!!#so i'm trying to get into this mindset that i'll go at least this first time to see what it's like
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Kingdom of Ash
Chapters 36-37
Had it been like that in the iron coffin?
Aelin gave no indication that the smothering dark bothered her, and had shown no inclination to illuminate their way. Hadn't even summoned an ember.
But the Little Folk, it seemed, had come prepared. And within heartbeats of entering the pitch-black river passage, blue light had kindled on a lantern dangling over the curved prow. Not light, not even magic. But small worms that glowed pale blue, as if they'd each swallowed the heart of a star. They'd been gathered into the lantern, and their soft light rippled over the water-smooth walls. A gentle, soothing light. At least, for her it was so.
Before Aelin had been given an ancient Faerie Queen's crown, her birthright and heritage.
The queen had stashed Mab's crown in one of their packs, as if it were no more than an extra sword belt. She hadn't spoken, and they had not asked her any questions, either.
Instead, she'd spent these past few hours sitting in the back of the boat, studying her unmarked hands, occasionally peering into the black waters beneath them. What she expected to see beyond her own rippling reflection, Elide didnât want to know.
He'd crawled after Maeve on the beach to save Aelin. And he had found her during her escape-had ensured Aelin made it out. Did it wipe away what he'd done in summoning Maeve in the first place? Even if Maeve had set the trap, even if he hadn't known what Maeve intended for Aelin, did it erase his decision to call for her?
The last time they'd spoken as friends, it had been aboard that ship in the hours before Maeve's armada had arrived. He'd told her they needed to talk, and she'd assumed it was about their future, about them.
But perhaps he'd been about to tell her what he'd done, that he'd been wrong in acting before Aelin's plans played out. Elide stopped twisting the ring.
He'd done it for her. She knew it.
But the queen sitting silently behind them, no trace of that sharp-edged fire to be seen, nor that wicked grin she'd flashed at all who crossed her path ... Two months with a sadist. With two sadists. That had been the cost, and the burden that Aelin and all of them would bear.
That silence, that banked fire was because of him. Not entirely, but in some ways.
The collar had not been real. But the army Maeve had summoned was.
A blink into the gloom was the only indication that he was aware of her every movement. Aelin breathed in his scent, let its strength settle into her a bit deeper.
Their paths would meet again, or they would not. And if he found the final key and then brought it to her, she would pay what the gods demanded. What she owed Terrasen, the world.
Yet if Dorian chose to end it himself, to forge the Lock ... her stomach churned. He had the power. As much as she did, if not more so.
It was meant to be her sacrifice. Her blood shed to save them all. To let him claim it ... She could. She must. With Erawan no doubt unleashing himself on Terrasen, with Maeve's army likely to cause them untold grief, she could let Dorian do this. She trusted him. Even if she might never forgive herself for it. Her debt, it was supposed to have been her debt to pay.
Perhaps the punishment for failing to do so would be having to live with herself.
Having to live with all that had been done to her these months, too.
The blackness of the subterranean river pressed in, wrapped its arms around her and squeezed.
Different from the blackness of the iron box. The darkness she'd found inside herself.
A place she might never escape, not really.
Her power stirred, awakening. Aelin swallowed, refusing to acknowledge it. Heed it.
She wouldn't. Couldn't. Not yet. Until she was ready.
She had seen Rowan's face when she spoke of what his deception with the collar had prompted her to do. Had noted the way her companions looked at her, pity and fear in their eyes. At what had been done to her, what she'd become.
A new body. A foreign, strange body, as if she'd been ripped from one and shoved into another. Different from moving between her forms, somehow. She hadn't tried shifting into her human body yet. Didn't see the point.
Sitting in silence as the boat was pulled through the gloom, she felt the weight of those stares. Their dread. Felt them wondering just how broken she was.
You do not yield.
She knew that had been trueâthat it had been her mother's voice who had spoken and none other.
So she would not yield to this. What had been done. What remained. For the companions around her, to lift their despair, their fear, she wouldn't yield.
She'd fight for it, claw her way back to it, who she'd been before. Remember to swagger and grin and wink. She'd fight against that lingering stain on her soul, fight to ignore it. Would use this journey into the dark to piece herself back together-just enough to make it convincing.
Even if this fractured darkness now dwelled within her, even if speech was difficult, she would show them what they wished to see.
An unbroken Fire-Bringer. Aelin of the Wildfire.
She would show the world that lie as well. Make them believe it.
Maybe she'd one day believe it, too.
Days of near-silent travel passed.
Three days, if whatever senses Rowan and Gavriel possessed proved true. Perhaps the latter carried a pocket watch. Aelin didn't particularly care.
She used each of those days to consider what had been done, what lay before her.
Sometimes, the roar of her magic drowned out her thoughts. Sometimes it slumbered. She never heeded it.
They sailed through the darkness, the river below so black that they might as well have been drifting through Hellas's realm.
She hadn't asked him why he remained in his wolf's body. No one asked her why she remained in her Fae form, after all.
Rowan straightened, eyes sparking at her question-or at the fact that she'd spoken at all.
He'd kept by her these days, a silent, steady presence. Even when they'd slept, he'd remained a few feet away, still not touching, but just there. Close enough that the pine-and-snow scent of him eased her into slumber.
Silence at the order, even from Rowan. Aelin pointed to the lip of shore by the cave mouth. "Stop the boat," she repeated.
The queen had been reckless before Cairn and Maeve had worked on her for two months, but it seemed she'd had any bit of common sense flayed from her.
"Well, I donât have any, so forgive me if I remain alert." No, she'd once told him that while magic flowed in the Lochan bloodline, she had none to speak of. He'd never told her that he'd always considered her cleverness to be a mighty magic on its own, regardless of Anneith's whisperings.
"It will take time for her to readjust."
She stared at him with those damning eyes.
He braced his forearms on his knees. "We got her back. She's with us now. What more do you want?" From me, He didn't need to add Elide straightened.
Elide straightened. "I don't want anything." From you.
This was where they'd have it out, then. "How much longer am I supposed to atone?"
"Are you growing bored with it?" He snarled.
She only glared at him. "I hadn't realized you were even atoning."
"I came here, didn't I?"
"For whom, exactly? Rowan? Aelin?"
"For both of them. And for you." There. Let it be laid before them.
"I told you on that beach: I want nothing to do with you."
"So one mistake and I am your eternal enemy?"
"She is my queen, and you summoned Maeve, then told her where the keys were, and you stood there while they did that to her."
"You have no idea what the blood oath can do. None."
"Fenrys broke the oath. He found a way."
"And had Aelin not been there to offer him another, he would have died." He let out a low, joyless laugh. "Perhaps that's what you would have preferred."
She ignored his last comment. "You didn't even try."
"I did," he snarled. "I fought it with everything I had. And it was not enough. If she'd ordered me to slit your throat, I would have. And if I had found a way to break the oath, I would have died, and she might very well have killed you or taken you afterward. On that beach, my only thought was to get Maeve to forget about you, to let you go-"
"I don't care about me! I didn't care about me on that beach!"
"Well, I do."
This was what came of opening that door to a place inside him that no one had ever breached. This mess, this hollowness in his chest that made him keep needing to make things right.
"Resent me all you like," he said, damning the hoarseness of his words. "I'm sure I'll survive."
Hurt flashed in her eyes. "Fine," she said, her voice brittle.
He hated that brittleness more than anything he'd ever encountered. Hated himself for causing it. But he had limits to how low he'd crawl.
He'd said his piece. If she wanted to wash her hands of him forever, then he would find a way to respect that. Live with it.
Somehow.
Gratitude shone in her eyes.
Rowan only gave her a nod. Don't worry about it.
Yet Aelin turned away, shutting off that silent conversation as she surveyed the space.
Time. It would take time for her to heal.
Even if he knew his Fireheart would pretend otherwise.
So, Rowan looked, too. Across the tomb, beyond the sarcophagus and treasure, an archway opened into another chamber. Perhaps another tomb, or an exit passage.
"We don't have time to find a way out,"
Rowan murmured as she strode into the tomb.
"And the caves remain safer than the surface."
"I'm not looking for a way out," she said in that calm, unmoved voice. She stooped, swiping up a fistful of gold coins stamped with forgotten king's face. "We're going to need to fund our travels. And the gods know what else." Rowan arched a brow. Aelin shrugged and shoved the gold into the pocket of her cloak. "Unless the pitiful clinking I heard from your coin purse didn't indicate you were low on funds."
That spark of wry humor, the taunting ⊠She was trying. For his sake, or the others' maybe her own, she was trying.
Rowan gave the Lion a slashing grin. "You heard the lady."
A flash ruptured from where Fenrys had been sniffing at a trunk of jewels, and then a male was standing there. His gray clothes worn, but intactin better shape than the hollowed-out look in his eyes.
Aelin paused her looting.
Fenrys's throat bobbed, as if trying to remember speech. Then he said hoarsely, "We needed more pockets." He patted his own for emphasis.
Aelin's lips curved in a hint of a smile. She blinked at Fenrysâthree times.
Fenrys blinked once in answer.
A code. They'd made up some silent code to communicate when he'd been ordered to remain in his wolf form.
Aelin's smile remained, just barely, as she walked to the golden-haired male, his bronze skin ashen. She opened her arms in silent offer.
To let him decide if he wished for contact. If he could endure it.
Just as Rowan would let her decide if she wished to touch him.
A small sigh broke from Fenrys before he folded Aelin into his arms, a shudder rippling through him. Rowan couldn't see her face, perhaps didn't need to, as her hands gripped Fenrys's jacket, so tightly they were white-knuckled.
A good signâa small miracle, that either of them wished, could be touched. Rowan reminded himself of it, even while some intrinsic, male part of him tensed at the contact.
A territorial Fae bastard, she'd once called him. He'd do his best not to live up to that title.
"Thank you," Aelin said, her voice small in a way that made Rowan's chest crack further.
Fenrys didn't answer, but from the anguish on his face, Rowan knew no thanks were in order.
They pulled away, and Fenrys cupped her cheek. "When you are ready, we can talk."
About what they'd endured. To unravel all that had happened.
Aelin nodded, blowing out a breath. "Likewise."
She resumed shoving gold into her pockets, but glanced back to Fenrys, his face drawn. "I gave you the blood oath to save your life," she said. "But if you do not want it, Fenrys, I ... we can find some way to free youâ"
"I want it," Fenrys said, no trace of his usual swaggering humor. He glanced to Rowan, and bowed his head. "It is my honor to serve this court. And serve you," he added to Aelin.
She waved a hand in dismissal, though Rowan didn't fail to note the sheen in her eyes as she stooped to gather more gold. Giving her a moment, he strode to Fenrys and clasped his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." He added, stumbling a bit on the word, "Brother." For that's what they would be. Had never been before, but what Fenrys had done for Aelin .. Yes, brother was what Rowan would call him. Even if Fenrys's ownâ
Fenrys's dark eyes flickered. "She killed Connall. Made him stab himself in the heart." A pearl-and-ruby necklace scattered from Gavriel's fingers.
The temperature in the tomb spiked, but there was no flash of flame, no swirl of embers.
As if Aelin's magic had surged, only to be leashed again.
Yet Aelin continued shoving gold and jewels into her pockets.
She'd witnessed it, too. That slaughter.
But it was Gavriel, approaching on silent feet even with the jewels and gold on the floor, who clasped Fenrys's other shoulder. "We will make sure that debt is paid before the end." The Lion had never uttered such words not toward their former queen. But fury burned in Gavriel's tawny gaze. Sorrow and fury.
Fenrys took a steadying breath and stepped away, the loss on his face mingling with something Rowan couldn't place. But now wasn't the time to ask, to pry.
Aelin continued picking her way amongst the treasure, however. She'd been more selective than the rest of them, examining pieces with what Rowan had assumed was a jeweler's eye. The gods knew she'd owned enough finery to tell what would fetch the highest price at market.
"We should go," he said. His own pockets were near to bursting, his every step weighed down.
She rose from a rusted metal chest she'd been riffling through.
Rowan remained still as she approached, something clenched in her palm. It was only when she stopped close enough for him to touch her that she unfurled her fingers.
Two golden rings lay there.
"I don't know the Fae customs," she said.
The thicker ring held an elegantly cut ruby within the band itself, while the smaller one bore a sparkling rectangular emerald mounted atop, the stone as large as her fingernail. "But when humans wed, rings are exchanged." Her fingers trembled-just slightly. Too many unspoken words lay between them. Yet now was not the time for that conversation, for that healing.
Not when they had to be on their way as swiftly as possible, and this offer she'd made him, this proof that she still wanted what lay between them, the vows they'd sworn ...
"I assume the sparkly emerald is for me," Rowan said with a half smile.
She huffed a laugh. The soft, whispered sound was as precious as the rings she'd found for them in this hoard. She took his hand, and he tried not to shudder in relief, tried not to fall to his knees as she slid the ruby ring onto his finger. It fit him perfectly, the ring no doubt forged for the king lying in this barrow.
Silently, Rowan grasped her own hand and eased on the emerald ring. "To whatever end," he whispered.
Silver lined her eyes. "To whatever end." A reminder-and a vow, more sacred than the wedding oaths they'd sworn on that ship.
To walk this path together, back from the darkness of the iron coffin. To face what waited in Terrasen, ancient promises to the gods be damned.
He ran his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I'll make the tattoo again." She swallowed, but nodded. "And," he added, "I'd like to add another. To meâand to you."
Her brows flicked up, but he squeezed her hand. You'll have to wait and see, Princess.
Another hint of a smile. She didn't balk from the silent words this time. Typical.
He opened his mouth to voice the question he'd been dying to ask for days now. May I kiss you? But she pulled her hand from his.
Admiring the wedding band sparkling on her finger, her mouth tightened as she turned over her palm. "I'll need to retrain."
Not a single callus marked her hands.
Aelin frowned at her too-thin body. "And pack on some muscle again." A slight quiver graced her words, but she curled her hands into fists at her sides and smirked at her clothesâthe Mistward clothes. "It'll be just like old times."
Trying. She was dredging up that swagger and trying. So he would, too. Until she didn't need to any more.
Rowan gave her a crooked grin. "Just like old times," he said, following her out of the barrow and back toward the ebony river, "but with far less sleep."
He could have sworn the passageway heated. But Aelin kept going.
Later. That conversation, this unfinished business between them, would come later.
#Chapter 36#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Elide Lochan#Lorcan Salvaterre#Gavriel#Fenrys#first read along with me no spoilers please more spoilers in further notes with tags quotes reacts annotated etc perspective 1 Elide#The way they all keep asking is that what she felt like-Finally dozing-Therapy boat time-They stole something beautiful&bright#If not even Elide can standup itâs short-The quiet time space-Forgive urself4him-Lets give it all2Erawan-Not fragile-Not hiding well#Never yield-the fact the lilfolk were prepared for no magic-it gives Jess day meets Millie Bobby brown princess movieWhealing glowworms#is Elide afraid of the dark?she did say rattle the stars-always heartbeats to measure timeWlilfolk-eyes gleamingWanimalistic brightness#Fenrys dozing@queens feet-get they snuggled close-position of honor at feet-Gabriel explains golden hair silvered by moonlight (beam?)#the ring-none of them want to know-knowing where to find HER-Closer2her than he'd sat in weeks-sending her attention (knowing where 2 find)#4long heartbeats she let herself look at him-she knew it 2#P2Aelin-4long heartbeats she let herself look at him-she knew it 2-inky black hair spilling over a coat of whitest snow#Her fingers curled in her lap-the fact living has begun to feel like punishment-a better lie-the swagger fire back#Chapter 37-perspective Aelin pt 1-if only there was tech-3days time-whats the tell?So long travel-let him take it so she can kill Erowan#Not the weights again-the avoided speech like Lys-To answer questions that he was perhaps not yet ready to discuss.#Might begin simply screaming and screaming at what had been done to them to Connall-is the far her animal form-THEM-but as the blue light#of the lantern touched it gold glittered along the rocky floor.Ancient gold-genius-stop the boat-they listened to her Cadre-didnât wait or#stay or care-Aelin didn't bother to see who obeyed as she strode into the cave-Lorcan refrained from saying that;good pick-Not firelight#She hadnt shown an ember since theyd entered the cave-power notes-Her dark eyes slid to him-from you-why river?-knees!#reverse Lysaedion-well I care u idiot-looked away looked anywhere but at him-life with ur#reverse Lysaedion-well I care-looked away looked anywhere but at him-lifeWoff what had needed2stop she needed2see he could only guess#Kings has made it-watched-As if she wouldnt couldnt touch her power-he saw every side-my last/accent-wait hug notice#Unravel it-fill in-pretend-where?-pirating is nice-another mark theirs&loved enough tove said it-whatever end-known-silver lined#u wish-what isn't recognized-Sardothien swagger-leashing the power-as close to a wedding4them as weâll get
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LET'S KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL â GOJO SATORU
synopsis: the end of your contract with GS Holding Corp. is coming to an end. well, your contract working for the company's founder and CEO, gojo satoru, as his personal assistant is ending since you no longer would work directly under him. but gojo will be damned if he lets that happen without trying to change your mind.
content warning(s): fem! + afab reader, plot-ish â eventual smut so 18+ mdni, office au, risky workplace relationship, oral (mâf), unprotected, semi-public sex??? (it's in an office), pining gojo satoru bc that's my fave to write
word count: 6.7K+ holay molay...
a/n: wanted to post this bc 1) its been a millineum since i last posted & a fulfilled req and 2) mentally rejecting that manga leak/ending -_-
âIâll miss you.â
You stand in front of the photocopy machine unmoving. The soft buzz of ink etching itself onto paper is the only sound that floats through the air beside the voice of the persistent CEO you work under.Â
Had you known that he would be following you around the building, bugging you as you tried to complete the tasks that he assigned you to finish on his behalf, you wouldâve straight up told him to do it himself.Â
You contribute much of your time and effort to this company, and youâre highly recognized for your work. âŠBut you absolutely didnât need the recognition to come in the form of being under constant surveillance from your boss.
Assuming you mightâve not heard him the first time when you donât respond right away, he leans in closer and rests a comfortable arm on your tense shoulders. âI said, Iâm gonna miss youââ
âI heard you the first time, Gojo.â
When the machine stops whirring indicating that it has finished the job, you donât hesitate to snatch the sheets of paper from the printer and slap them onto Gojo Satoruâs chest, decked out in a baby blue button-up. All too soon, youâre sidestepping around him and heading out the door toward your office right down the hall.
âHey!â he exclaims at your sudden early departure.
Hot on your tail, Gojo trails after you clutching the papers close to his chest. âWhere are you going?â Gojo asks when you take an unexpected sharp left turn from the usual route to his secluded workroom.Â
Despite your best efforts to leave him behind, his tall stature annoyingly reminds you that he can keep up with you just fine.
âYâknow,â your boss starts, catching your attention as you practically speed-stomp your way down the halls of his corporation, âIjichi would never treat me like this!âÂ
You could practically hear the way he pouts from behind you. When you briefly glance back to confirm your suspicions about what expression he could be wearing, youâre not surprised to see heâs throwing a wistful gaze above your head. His soft, pink lips are downturned and tacked with his snow-white brows all bunched together, probably wishing youâd be more graceful with him.
Or take pity on him at the very least, you know?
You turn back around and continue your path toward your own office space. âWell, itâs a good thing heâs coming back next month then, huh?â
Pity denied.
Gojo swore he heard the wry smile in your voice as soon as you finished your sentence. Youâre willfully teasing him and playing with his emotions. But thatâs why heâll miss youâ none of his employees would dare talk to him or give him the same flack as you do.
When you step into your office, so does he. And Gojo, either painfully oblivious or simply choosing to ignore the blatant act of you purposefully and almost slamming the door shut in his face, swings it wide open and ambles toward your workstation, a smile creeping onto his lips.
âExtend your contract with me,â he starts, carelessly tossing the sheaf of paperwork onto your tidy desk once heâs within arms reach of it. He peeks at you over his shades and returns your unimpressed stare with an innocent smile. âIâll raise your salary a reasonable amount once you do.â
While that did sound nice on paper, realistically speaking, dealing with Gojoâs antics for the foreseeable future was less than ideal for you. God forbid you start getting grey hairs at such an early age. Or a raised blood pressure. And besidesâŠ
âI still work under and for Utahimeâs department though,â you say matter-of-factly, once youâve crossed the space of your room to sit behind your desk. Your lips twist into a soft pout as you shuffle the scattered sheets together and place them into a neat pile.
Ah, right.
After Ijichi had filed for a paid sick leave after an unrelated work injury several months ago, you graciously covered your colleagueâs position as the personal assistant to the founder and CEO of GS Holdings Corp., for the time being.
Pushing away the urge to roll his eyes into the back of his head at the namedrop of his top leading director, Gojo deflates onto your desk.
Utahime has been on his case for the past few weeks to hurry up and file the paperwork so that youâd be back in her good graces as soon as your term with him expires. Heâs been procrastinating on filing out the paperwork, mostly because he hates doing tedious work, the other half of him flat-out does not want to see you go so soon.
To say Gojo has thoroughly enjoyed you operating as his aide would be a huge understatement.Â
Wherever Gojo was in his grand office building, it wouldnât be unusual for your co-workers to spot you too far off. Outside of work is the same story, especially considering youâd be the one driving him home from work since Ijichi acted as both his assistant and driver.Â
âJust switch to mine!â Gojo whines. He joins you at your desk and sits his ass right on the documents you had printed and stretches his limbs against the surface, nearly eating up all the space on your desk. He ignores your strained quips at him to get the hell off.Â
âUtahimeâll be fine, let her find someone else. The job marketâs already bad as is, so let another person take it and come be with me.âÂ
Thereâs a double meaning if you dig deep, and Gojo prays and hopes youâd take the time to digest what he really means.Â
However, it seems like youâre not in the mood to be an excavator today.
Pushing his antics and sweet-talking to the side, you arch a questioning brow at him and lean back into your chair. There was nothing explicitly charged behind that reaction of yours, but it shook Gojo to the core realization that his attraction to you was unnervingâ though not unnerving enough to have him stay away from you.
âWhat about Ijichi? Whereâs he gonna go if I stay?â
Gojo visibly perks up at your usage of the word âifâ, because in his mind heâs already imagined the situation to be quite likely. You see the way he sits a little taller, a little higher on your desk at the proposed question.
But alas, you dash his hopes by adding, âWhich I wonât. But if I did, what then?â
âThen you guys can make it a two-person job!â he proclaims as if it were the most easy and obvious answer in the world. Gojo rests his feet on either side of your hips and the heels of his dress shoes press into the leather material of your rolling chair, prompting you to squeeze your thighs together due to the lack of room. âYou know I need all the help I can get around here.â
Now itâs your turn to roll your eyes. âYouâre being ridiculous, Gojo.â
With the wheels on your chair, your boss uses it as leverage to roll you impossibly closer to him than you already were, angling your face centimetres away from his lower torso. You will your eyes to not drift down his body and toward his lap.
Lord knows the field trip the man would have with that if he were to catch you blatantly checking him out right before him.Â
âWhyâs it so hard to convince you to stay, huh?â he asks, knocking a soft knuckle against that stubborn head of yours. âWhy? You donât like me or something?â
Your heart stutters in your chest at his question.Â
Insufferable as he can be sometimes, youâd be lying if you said you didnât feel some magnetic pull towards him.Â
Losing control of the situation a bit, you grab the reins again. Clearing your throat you ask, âDo you talk to all your employees like that?â
He shakes his head. âNah.â Gojo props an elbow onto his knee and presses his cheek into the palm of his hand. His smile grows warm and gooey when his blue eyes clash with yours from where you sit a few inches below him. âJust you.âÂ
Youâll die. You swear you can die right now from the way heâs looking at youâ which is no way a boss would ever look at their employee. Let alone assistant.Â
Keep it professional.
âWow! Iâm flattered,â you reply, your tone laced heavily with dry sarcasm. You brush his legs away, successfully bringing his feet to rest on the floor and scoot back from your desk. The heated tension that once lingered in the air clears out a bit as you rise to your feet.
Soft cerulean eyes watch as you stand before him, a bit more guarded as you cross your arms across your chest. Whatever you say next is completely lost on him because unlike you, as subtle as he may be, Gojo allows his eyes to wander.
He swallows thickly. You shouldnât do that. His gaze inconspicuously slides down to the low neck of your blouse and zeroes in on how your arms press against your chest, deliciously squeezing your breasts together andâ
âSatoru!â you hiss.
Shit.
Maybe he wasnât as discreet as he thought.
Quickly flitting his attention back to your face, Satoru offers you a half-assed apology but itâs too late for that. Your face is screwed tight with abashment and bafflement after having caught him in the act. Itâs an emotion he hasnât seen you wear lately. He wants to see more of that. More of you.
Before you could get a word out, ready to rip him a new one about how your eyes werenât âdown thereâ, he hurriedly rushes out a propositionâ changing the subject and bringing you both back to the original reason as to why heâd been following you around this past hour. âIf I get you to like me, will you work past your term?â
You rest your arms at your sides, completely forfeiting your motion to scold him. Now thatâs new. âI never said I donât like you.â
Satisfaction settles in his chest, warm and heavy at your statement. Gojo liked the sound of that.Â
âThen how about this,â the tall CEO moves from his seat on your desk toward you. With each step you take back, he matches you in stride until heâs got your back up against a wall. Quite literally.Â
âIf I get you to like me more than you do now, you stay. With me. Deal?â
The gentle scent of fabric softener and sandalwood cologne wafts around you. This proximity made you squirm with anticipation. âDo what you want,â you say, craning your neck up to stare at him resolutely. âIt wonât change the fact that Iâll be in a whole new department next month.â
The smirk on Gojoâs lips stretches wide as he meets you stare for stare. His voice drips heavy with confidence and a brazen spirit as he asks, âYeah?â
You only manage a stiff nod, not trusting yourself to speak lest it comes out as a fucking moan from the sexual tension alone.
Content with your compliant state, Gojo finally backs off from you and makes his way toward your door. âDonât forget that meeting we have with the executives this Friday.â
âI know,â you tumble out, sinking back onto your office chair, miffed that he's got you in such a tizzy. It's a miracle that you donât melt into it right away under his gaze.
You pick up a new batch of paperwork and begin filing them into their respective folders. When you finish with the first set, Gojoâs still lingering by the doorway, watching you.
âYes?â
âNice top, by the way.â His hand rests on the wooden frame, eyes half-lidded with intent. âIt really does bring out your eyes.â
As expected, you did not forget about that special executive meeting on Friday. Nor did you forget about the many others youâd have to host and coordinate after that, too.
Essentially, you didnât let what had transpired the week before deter you from your respective duties as Gojoâs personal assistant. As his right-hand⊠woman.
But you didnât entirely forget about what went down either.Â
Whether you adhered to his âdealâ or not was completely up to you. However, after that day, every personal meeting or time alone together seemed to bristle with tension, heavy with a delicious sort of pressure of the unknown.Â
When Gojo would catch your eye or youâd catch his during prolonged meetings that stretched over the initial run time with the higher-ups, there would be a brief moment of shared glances. One recent instance stuck with you to the last few weeks of your contract.
You remember how he would roll his eyes sarcastically as if he were being forced against his own will to attend these kinds of thingsâ which technically he was, but thatâs the reality of being a successful founder and CEO of your own companyâ and his actions would rouse a stifled giggle from you, which in turn prompted an easy smile of his own.
But it was through these shared glances, these brief moments of humour that it would slip into something a little slower, a little more sweet the more you two held eye contact like dripping honey until you broke it off, hurriedly directing your attention back toward the front of the room.
Itâs only a matter of time until this bundled ball of emotions displayed through knowing glances and brief moments of heated exchanges finally snaps.
You both wonder when thatâll be.
âThis is crazy.â
You slide your gaze away from swirling your cup of iced cappuccino to Shoko who sits beside you. She leans her head back against the cushions of your office sofaâ a complimentary gift from Gojo two weeks ago(you suspect it was his last-ditch effort to get you to stay).
âWhat is?â you ask.
Sitting up, Shoko crosses her leg over the other and fixes you with an exhausted look. âThis!â she exclaims, gesturing her hands around the vicinity of your room. There are moving boxes scattered everywhere, which is a bit absurd considering youâre only moving one level downstairs to your old space.Â
âI canât believe youâve only got a week left until you switch departments,â she says. âSuguruâs gonna lose his head the moment youâre gone and Satoruâs already started with the theatrics.â
Trust and believe that you already know. Itâs hard not to when youâve got the Chief Operating Officer, Geto Suguru, knocking on your door for an offer you âdonât wanna turn downâ. But once youâd told Geto that you were still going ahead with filling out the documents to head back to Utahime and her team, it led to a hefty chunk of your lunch being taken up by him asking (begging) you to reconsider when your contract end date drew closer.Â
âI just worry for Ijichi is all,â you say, shrugging as if the situation were already out of your hands. âGojoâs been very temperamental and⊠well, bratty these past few days.âÂ
Shokoâs brown and neatly trimmed brows shoot up with interest at the disclosure.
You think back to a few days ago when you told Satoru to take it easy on Ijichi. You told your white-haired superior that heâd have to patiently reintroduce him to the new tech and procedures that Ijichi would work with as it would be his first week back. You couldnât believe your ears when he straight-up told you, âI donât care about a manâs hardships. He can work them out by himself!â
âSatoruâs always tormented the poor guy,â Shoko says, shaking her head at her friendâs show of obnoxious behaviour, âbut he does mean well. I think.â
And speak of the devilâŠÂ
Over the curve of Shokoâs shoulder through the open blinds of your clear, glass window you spot Gojo. Noticing that heâs caught your attention, he waves incessantly at you through the glass before you hear him twist the knob of your door open.
âWhich reminds me,â your friend continues, drawing your sights back on her, âthe rest of the team and I were thinking of heading out for drinks later to celebrate with you one last time. Wanna come?â
âOooh,â Gojo drawls once heâs within earshot.Â
Heâs looking extraordinarily handsome today, wearing black slacks and a buttoned, linen navy blue top. Heâs smiling boyishly from ear to ear when he catches you twisting your lips in a tight purse as if you were trying to stifle a smile of your own. âA celebration, hm? Can I come?â
Shoko scrunches her face at the sudden question and self-invitation. She throws a bewildered look in Gojoâs direction when he settles himself onto his signature spot in your office. Your desk. âWhy?â
Huh?
What kind of question was that? Why else would he want to spend an evening out with everyone? With you especially.
White brows bunch together, tight with confusion. âTo celebrate with you guys?â he responds as if Shoko had just asked a one-dimensional question.Â
âYouâve been a moping mess this past month after youâve learned that sheââ Shoko points her finger into the flesh of your cheek, ââwasnât going to extend her work contract with you. So, if anyoneâs gonna be celebrating, it sure as hell isnât you.â
Yeesh! Tell him what you really think.
Knowing Shoko didnât mean any harm by her words, you still felt inclined to soften the blow of her statement just a tad. âPlus, you donât drink alcohol, Gojo.â
âAnd you donât drink,â Shoko adds, raising her arms in exclamation as if to thank you for bringing that point up.
âWell,â pushing himself off the edge of your mahogany desk, Gojo stops a bit before the sofa you and Shoko both occupied. âI donât need to drink to have a good time with my team!â he defends, directing a pout-induced glower at his colleague.
Youâd think heâs done, but with the touch of Gojoâs large hand grabbing your wrist and pulling you off the couch that you realize heâs far from over at stating his point. âAnd neither do you,â he says, he pulls you behind him, steering you both toward the door. âWeâve got plans.â
Puzzlement crosses over not only yours but Shokoâs features as well.
âWe do?â
âSince when?â
Gojo nods at you and Shokoâs questions spoken in tandem. âEmergency meeting. She and Iâve got important matters to discuss.â You feel the faint brush of his hand find the small of your lower back and maneuver you out the door and away from Shokoâs view. âYou wouldnât get it.â Is the last thing he says before he pokes his tongue out at the woman and ducks out of sight.
âOh, really?â She says, rising to her feet but making no moves to follow you both out the door.
âYou donât even put your own two cents during our regular team meetings! Thereâs literally nothing for you to discuss, Satoru.â You hear her call after him as he guides you down the hall, past the elevators and toward his big office.
If only she knew how true that statement would be.
Gojo hates meetings. They always happen at inconvenient moments and eat up way too much of his precious time. Itâs time that he could be spending doing something else⊠or someone.Â
Which is why this âemergency meetingâ was different.
If someone had told Gojo Satoru several months ago that his favourite employee, his darling assistant would be seated pliant for him on his expensive Birch Lane executive desk he would have laughed in their face with a furious blossoming blush nipping at his neck.
But right now, thereâs nothing to laugh about.
Gojoâs watching you closely in the shaded dark of his room, tracking every subtle shift in your body language for any indication that you may be uncomfortable and change your mind at the last minute. But when you wrap an arm around his neck, slotting him closer in between your legs, he realizes he couldnât have been more wrong.
Something in the air felt different. It was thicker. Electric.Â
Gojo knew in an instant he wouldnât last when your lips ghost the words, âThis doesnât mean Iâm changing my mind,â on his mouth, before tipping his head to the side, giving you the space to slot your lips with his.
Game fucking over.
Sure, maybe he wasnât able to completely get you to change your mind about working with him and his department.
But this?
You whimper into his mouth when his hands skim down back and cheekily resting right above your ass. Your body warms underneath the palm of his hands with every touch and how he kneads your hips tucked away beneath your business casual attire.
Gojo Satoru had won in his own right.
Your breaths come quicker as he steals them from you, his left-hand squeezes your side while the other slides across your lower belly and traces the hem of your blouse.
âTake this off,â he commands, his voice wrecked with reckless abandon. His forefinger hooks on the band of your pants, in a pathetic attempt to pull them down despite not having undone your button and zipper. His air of frustration is not lost on you when you see the slight furrow in his brows, the more he pulls but to no avail of getting you in a state of undress.
Not wanting to lose the momentum you both have, you unhook your arm from his shoulders to give him a helping hand.
âRelax,â you say, softly nudging his hands away from your clothing. He hungrily eyes how you pop the button of your dress pants and shuck them onto the floor.Â
Once that was off though, everything came into sharp focus, and Gojoâs breath caught in his throat.Â
Thereâs almost a crazed look in his eye the more he stares at your clothed cunt unblinking, unmoving. His breathingâs gone a bit ragged, and every so often you feel the twitch of his fingers dig into the skin of your thigh.
It was a bad idea, considering how the sight of your panties alone had him this rigid, this excited. But he still grits out a rough, âLemme see.â
Slowly, you pull your laced underwear to the side and Gojo's teeth dig into his inner cheek at the sight. His hands mark a slow path from your thighs down to your knees, pushing them wide apart so that he could see more of you.Â
The delicate spread of your folds had your boss entranced. Gojo has seen and salivated over the various outfits you wore to the workplace, always wondering what was underneath before he deemed such thoughts as inappropriate and immediately started thinking about something else. But now that he sees it for himself, it was all too tantalizing. He wanted to see all of you, taste all of you.
The tuft of snow-white hair that once obscured your vision is now gone, sinking lower to your lap.
âOh!â you exclaim loudly at his sudden movement. Shocked by how quickly he came down to eye level with your pussy. âYou donâtââ you stammer, swallowing hard as all the blood rushed to your head. Instinctively, you snap your legs shut in a weak attempt to shield yourself from his intense, unwavering gaze. âYou donât have to do that!âÂ
Having one of Japanâs richest, self-made men drop down to his knees staring fervently at your cunt through you in for a loop. Youâre sure by now the expression face was no less than gobsmacked right now.
Gojoâs hand grasps one of your calves, his thumb rubbing smooth circles over your warm skin before he hooks it over his shoulder leaning closer to you. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Pulling you closer to his face, youâre forced to plant your other foot onto the ground for stability. âThis!â you hiss out, tone laced with embarrassment and arousal as your finger points between his face and your body. âItâs unbecoming, you donât have to do that to get me off. Really!â
âWhy not?â
You donât have to say what youâre thinking out loud. You were his assistant for fuckâs sake!Â
Youâre sure what you two are doing would be an issue with some legal policy with the company. But then again⊠Gojo Satoru is the founder and CEO of said company so he can technically get away with one or two things. Butâ
Sensing your hesitancy, Gojoâs eyes soften when he looks up at you. âJust⊠forget the formalities for a sec, will you?â he implores, strong hands grazing up to your knees again hoping you wouldnât be stubborn with him this one time. âPlease? I want to do this for you.â
You look searchingly into his eyes before you finally mellow out. Feeling you relax in his hold and your thighs lose that tension, that was enough of a green light for Satoru before his mouth skims along the mound of pussy. Each kiss he pressed lovingly against your skin, left you shivering in their wake.Â
It wasnât long before his tongue, firm and slick, pokes out and licks a long, slow stripe up your slit which has you keening. You feel his lips twist into a smug smile when he hears the broken sound of his first name from above him.
âHm?â he hums, still mouthing at your pussy which encourages another ragged moan from you. âAm I doing good so far?â
You donât know why he even bothered asking, considering the sheen shine of your arousal coating his mouth and chin. Nonetheless, you give him the answer he patiently waits for.
âYeah,â you breathe, moaning again when the tip of his tongue circles your sensitive clit.Â
And it all becomes too much when his hand abandons supporting your leg on his shoulder, to skate its way up your thigh and toward your pussy. The combination of his forefinger rubbing tight, intricate shapes on your clit and his mouth working you open have you yelping from overstimulation.Â
You press your palm against Gojoâs forehead when the heat in your lower belly runs hotter, successfully pushing his face away.
âNot like this,â you protested weakly, your hand smooths down from his face to grip his shoulders. Thereâs a light flush that peaks beneath the collar of his shirt. He looks absolutely debauched right now. âI want you.â
With the cuff of his sleeve, Gojo wipes your arousal off the bottom half of his face. Unhooking your legs from him, you're left to shakily stand on your own, with nothing but the support of his desk to keep you upright.
âAlright,â he breathes, smiling at how your eyes follow the way his hands undo the expensive black Ferragamo belt on his waist. âHow do you want me then?âÂ
âUmâŠâ You look around the place for feasible places for you to get fucked on. Crude, but true.Â
Behind Gojo is his office chair rolled back, looking vacant and lonely. âWe could do it on the chair?â you suggest, eyes twinkling at your proposal. âIf you want?â
âYou want to ride me?â he asks, a proud smirk twitching at the corner of his lips.
Your air of confidence softens into something more breathless and vulnerable which has his heart surging with reckless affection. âDonât make it weird!â you yelp, giving his shoulder a light shove.
Dragging the chair closer, Gojo chuckles at how quick you are to change moods. âCome,â he says once he has sat down, patting his lap with one hand while the other pulls himself free from his boxers and slacks. âRide me. Make yourself feel good.â
You donât know what turns you on more: A) the way heâs speaking so dirty, so obscene with you right now or B) the sight of Satoruâs cock smacking against the pale, creamy space of his exposed lower abdomen. You stare at it for too long, the build-up of saliva gathering in your mouth the more you stare at his thick and hard shaft, occasionally bobbing on its own under your intense glare.
You could die and go to heaven right now.
Gojoâs hands grab your waist and pull you closer to him. Running your tongue along the inside of your cheek, you twist around so that youâre back is now facing him as you prepare to take him all in.
âNo, no, no, no,â he rushes out when youâre about to sit down on his lap facing away from him. Within seconds, Gojo has you facing him. He grasps the back of your knee and tugs it to his side, pushing the armrest out of the way and does the same with the other.Â
Oh! You didnât know it could do that.Â
âI wanna see you,â he murmurs, once youâre now straddling his lap and hovering mere inches away from his erection. His free hand moves between your bodies and grabs the base of his cock and angles it toward your slit.
âOh.â You feel giddy. The noticeable brush of his tip stroking along your slick folds only adds to that dizzying sensation. âYeah, Iâmââ
When the head of Gojoâs cock slowly starts to push inside of you, your sentence is cut off by a broken moan emitted from the back of your throat.
With his eyes closed, thereâs a lazy smile that spreads across Gojoâs mouth as he breathes out a heavy groan once heâs all the way inside you. âYeeeah,â he whispers, the pads of his fingertips pushing tight against your bare skin.
You bite your lip and experiment with this position. Lifting your hips slightly before you sink back down, Gojo buries his face into your neck and breathes, ragged and heavy.
So much for wanting to see you.
âShit,â you hear him hiss, as he blindly gropes at your ass, working your body to continue to slide up and down his hard cock. The heat of you had him seeing stars as searing pleasure tore through him.
Whimpering, you clench onto firm biceps, enjoying the shallow strokes he pushes into you.
Itâs incoherent at first. However, when you tumble out a dazed huh? so that you could hear him repeat whatever he had said, Satoru's lips parted in ecstasy. âI forgot,â he choked out, voice raw and unhinged.
Gently tugging him away from your neck, your core tightened at the fucked out expression on his face. Curious eyes trail down to his stomach and how with each pump inside you, his muscles involuntarily spasm.
âThe condom,â he states, slowing down his fevered pace. âI forgotâŠâ
If it were anyone else, you wouldâve hopped right the fuck off their lap with panic, body tense over the fact of how careless you were being.
But surprisingly there were no alarm bells and no flashing red lights in your mind. If anything your blood ran a little hotter, the need and tightness in your core taking over.
You donât know you have it in you to completely stop everything in a search for a condom you donât even know he might have.
âPull out then,â is all you say before you begin to ride him again.
Gojo can definitely get behind that. Heâs not complaining if it meant he got to have you completely raw.
Your pussy swallows his cock, and Satoru gathers up the bottom of his shirtâ wrinkling it in the processâ so that he could see the way he disappears inside you over and over.
When he shifts his gaze back up again so he can take in the expression you might be wearing, Gojoâs surprised to see you already looking at him.
Thereâs an adorable tinge to your lips that has Gojo flitting his gaze back to them every damn time he tries to make eye contact with you as he fucks himself sweetly into your pussy.
Heâs overcome with the strong urge to kiss you. To cross the small width of space between your mouths.
So, he does.
His brow bumping yours, Gojoâs hands return to your ass and he stands up with you in his embrace. The cold press of his desk accosts you as he uses his weight to push you slowly onto your back.Â
âSatoru,â you sigh your bossâs name blissfully once his lips leave yours to press them along the curve of your jaw before pulling away.
âI wanted this to be nicer,â he says, brilliant blue eyes glittering down at you through the sex-soaked shadows. His hips donât stop pistoning in and out of you, and he exhales a particularly harsh hiss when he feels you squeeze around him. âNicer than here.â
You drag in a breath at his sentence, its implications not lost on you. Heâs thought about this before. âIt's okay, there's always another time.âÂ
Satoru hums appreciatively, seemingly pleased with your answer. After leaning in for one last kiss, he brushed his mouth from yours and announced in a voice you barely recognize, âIâm gonna come.â
Propping yourself onto your elbows, you nod at him. âPull out then.â
âAre you sure?âÂ
 Stuck between the incredulous look painted across your features and how your nails press a little tighter into his skin, Gojo listens. Not without hissing out a disgruntled, âFine.â
Pulling out from your wet pussy, Gojoâs hand wraps around his dick and he strokes it fast and hot. He growls with sharp relief when you reach a hand down to massage his sac. He thinks he may come all over you if you continue doing that.
âFuck,â he snarls when your fingers graze the base of his cock.Â
Cracking his eyes open, he messily knocks your hand away from him before intertwining his fingers with yours and grabbing himself with his free hand, stroking hard and fast. Every so often his tip would intentionally rub up and press against your nub, successfully stimulating the sensitive bundle of nerves with the main goal to climax.
With every pent-up thought heâs had about you, Gojo finally comes with you in tow. His cum dribbles out from his slit and lands on your skinâ mostly between your inner thighs and folds.
âSo,â Gojo starts, his hands wandering up to the middle of your back after a few moments of comfortable shared silence between you two. As much as he wanted to relax in your post-sex session and bask in its warm glow, he had to address the elephant in the room.
You hum in response as you work the buttons of your blouse, waiting for him to continue. âWhen you said ânext timeâ, did you seriously mean tââÂ
The two of you abruptly jump apart at the telltale sound of heels clicking down the hall drawing closer and closer to Gojoâs office door. In a panic, you leap off his desk, sending a flurry of sheets flying down to the floor into a sorry pile.Â
âNice going,â Gojo remarks with a sly grin, as you hurriedly shimmy your pants up your legs. The sheen layer of sweatâ among other thingsâ makes it a bit difficult for you to easily slip them on.
Once theyâre settled at your hips and you tend to the zip, you cast a withering glare his way, youâre relieved to see that heâs already tucked himself away into his pants, already looking presentable by the time the door opens.
With the click of the lock giving way, you hear a woman starkly ask, âWhy are all the lights off?â
You could pinpoint that voice from a kilometre away.Â
Turning on your heel, you see the shadowy figure of one of your closest colleagues in the dark of the room. âUtahime!â
When the head director steps into the room and flicks on the lights, the sudden brightness has you squinting your eyes a bit. Upon catching your gaze she offers you a sincere smile, visibly lighting up at the sight of you. Â
But it doesnât last long because seconds after her smile morphs into a displeased scowl when she spots Gojo lounging boneless in his office chair a few feet away.
âAnd whyâs it soâŠâ Utahime fans a delicate hand in front of her face, casting a weary gaze at you two from across the room. âWarm in here?â she questions no one in particular.
Her eyes take in the setting before her, and she pauses in her tracks. You could only imagine what thoughts were racing through her mind.
âWhat hapââ
ââItâs warm?! I couldnât even tell!â you respond, a bit too chipper as you cut her line of questioning off. A bit too fast.Â
From behind you, you hear Gojoâs stifled laughter thatâs covered by poorly by a ridiculous attempt at a coughing fit.
âWell,â you wring your hands together subconsciously, âwhat brings you here?â
Noticing your off demeanour, Utahime fixes you with a puzzled look that reads as if she were asking you "are you okay?" as your plastered smile only grows more strained by the second.
âI came here to grab your reports and documentation from Gojoâs outbox, but somebody,â cue Satoru slipping on his signature shades to deflect the icy stare Utahime was housing, âforgot to put them there. Hence why Iâm here.â
âOh, right!â Gojo hums, rolling back from his desk as he reaches down to gather the scattered sheets that had fallen to the floor. âTheyâre all here.â
You both watch in shared silence as he flips through each page, meticulously setting each one aside that wasnât labeled with your name on the header.Â
Thrown off by how long heâs deliberately taking in smoothing out the crinkles on each page, the older woman stomps up to Gojo and unceremoniously slaps her hand on the wooden table. âGive me that, will you?!â she exclaims, snatching and wrestling the papers out from his hands.
âAh! Waitââ
Scanning the pages your department leader seems content that everythingâs in order.
Until it's not?
The womanâs once sunny and bright disposition suddenly flips on his head, as there seems to be something written on that page midway that makes her freeze.
âGo ahead and hand me a new copy,â Utahime says, practically tossing the sheets of paper back onto his desk without a second glance. She smooths her hands down the silky expanse of her long skirt, once, twice, then three times for good measure. âI want it in my inbox by next Monday.â
She nods curtly at you before she turns and practically books it to his door. You donât know why but you swear you saw the faintest hue of pink tickling the apples of her cheeks. There was also an expression that couldnât quite put your finger on that highlighted her features.Â
If you were to say though, her emotion looked between the mix of detachment, embarrassment⊠wait, no. It was mortification.
But what was there to be mortified over? Â
âWhatâs wrong with the copy you gave her?â
Gojo presses his lips together in a sad attempt to keep his smile at bay as he hands it over to you to see for yourself.
Eyebrows furrowed, you skim each sheet. You donât get it. Whatâs the problem withâ
Thatâs until you notice that some of the pages are sticking together. Itâs on the third page you see it and understand why Utahime was in such a rush to leave. Why she kept wiping her hands onto her clothing.
Right there among the printed hiragana and kanji was a few small white streaks of fluid covering bolded characters and numbers.Â
Oh no.
âYâknowâŠâ The sleeve of his dress shirt rests along your neck as his hand squeezes at your shoulder. Delicate fingers slide against your bare skin and pull at the strap of your bra, successfully tucking it underneath your blouse again. Had that been poking out the entire time?! âI knew it wouldâve been a good idea to finish inside.â
Horrified that youâd have to deal with the information of going back to Utahime next week knowing that she knows what you guys did, has you burying your face into Gojoâs chest and letting out a muffled scream.
âJust saying!â
FIN
i don't know how to stay within the maximum word count for the life of me... i'm not sorry!
#sahkuna!#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#jjk smut#gojo satoru smut#I EDITED THAT PANEL TO LOOK MORE LIKE HIM (the hair)#mdni divider by cafekitsune
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First, I want to address the rumors that I used AI to paint A Thousand Skies. Here is a condensed version of the 10 part video recording of how I painted everything. I normally reserve the full hours long video recordings for my patrons but here they are in case there is still any doubt https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1d-3hxjZWROiZPaI8XeU93cKBBKB1Gz9Z?usp=drive_link
All of my past paintings have full video recordings for my Patrons, going back to 2018 when I first got a Patreon.
Long time followers will also know that I care deeply about the environment, not only in the themes of my art but also in my actions to the best of my ability and knowledge. So much so that every year since 2016, Iâve donated 100% of my Black Friday sales to environmental charities, and you can see all the receipts of the organizations I donated to here https://www.yuumeiart.com/blogÂ
I realized a comment Iâve made at 2am and while sleep deprived was confusing. I want to clear up the misunderstandings from yesterday's post where I said AI isnât that bad for the environment. I thought I was specifically answering the question of how much energy it takes to generate 1 AI image on my own computer without any servers, but I realize now that people were talking about how much energy it takes to train AIs by big companies. This was not what I was trying to refer to in my comment, but I recognize it is one of many legitimate concerns with the way current generative AI is developed.
I want to reiterate that I did use AI for a gag scene in my comicâthe character, Vance, was objectifying women by seeing them as anime cat girls and pasting them over AI backgrounds. I thought that such a character having AI goggles was making a point. I recognize that regardless of the context, the use of AI carries other ramifications. I will be taking all of this into consideration with my future artwork.
I know AI art is a very heated issue with very real concerns attached to its use. I donât expect people to change their minds. I will continue to make art as I always have for the past 2 decades before AI existed, and continue to make available to my patrons full video recordings of the paintings Iâve made and will make. Thank you.
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viking!könig à female!villager!reader
warnings: smut, +18, possesive!könig, breeding kink, kidnapping, mentions of rape and virginity!!
Viking!König who, along with his warriors, disembark in a small village located by the sea. Dressed in animal skins, swords and armor, they enter the village to loot and destroy everything within their reach.
It is then that he manages to spot a small house at the top of a small mountain, not far from all the others. Upon reaching the field, he notices a female figure coming out of the small garden with a basket of tomatoes. It was you, dressed in a long white skirt, a beige shirt and a scarf around your head. You look like an angel fallen from heaven, so harmonious and calm, totally different from König's rude figure.
It doesn't take you long to notice that tall, burly man at the entrance to your home, who seems anything but pleasant. You recognize their clothing and the bad intentions that characterized the vikingos. An expression of terror was marked on your face and you immediately ran into your home, shouting your father's name and without letting go of the basket of tomatoes.
Konig's stomach twisted in a feeling of excitement at your reaction, feeling powerful at the fear of the rest of the people seeing him. With his long, muscular legs, he followed your steps to the interior of the home where a series of murmurs welcomed him.
In the humble living room there was an adult couple who looked somewhat sick and next to them was you, who covered 2 small children no more than 6 years old with your body. König was tall and in good shape compared to your family, who apparently barely had enough to eat.
"Please, don't hurt us.." sobbed your mother, who brought her skinny hands to her chest, begging.
"We don't have anything valuable, you can check for yourself." Your father spoke now, pointing around you. König began to walk around the room, observing everything around him and verifying that there was nothing there that would be useful to him. "The only thing we can offer him are vegetables and fruits from our garden. Daughter, give him the basket of tomatoes!" Your father ordered, hoping that König would agree and leave as soon as possible.
You stepped forward timidly and held out the basket with the tomatoes to him, taking a distance and with your hands trembling. König looked down at you, smiling slightly at your fear and how you couldn't maintain eye contact with his cold blue eyes. He reached his hand to the basket and took a tomato, it had a good size and color. Without thinking he brought it to his mouth and tasted a little of it, not caring how the juice fell from his lips to his bushy beard.
"And then? What do you think? If you want, you can take the whole basket, it's all yours!" Your father insisted.
To tell the truth, that tomato was delicious but you were even more so. "I'll take everything from the garden... And your daughter too." König spoke for the first time, generating a shiver throughout your body.
"No problem. Girl, put on some shoes and go!" Your father spoke coldly, capable of doing everything possible to defend his family, even if it meant giving you away to an unknown Viking.
You sobbed and screamed that they wouldn't let you leave with him, with König, but your father did nothing but raise his voice even more and even try to hit you. Your mother and your brothers cried in silence, observing the situation with sadness but without intervening on your behalf. The decision was already made, you were now König's property.
It was widely said that the Vikings came to the villages not only to plunder but also to rape their women and then return to their more 'relaxed' ways. Luckily for you, or not, that had not been the case for you. No, König didn't just see you as a hole to fill with his powerful semen. But as his property, as something to take care of and defend from the other Vikings who had no intention of formalizing with any woman. He wanted to be the only one with something to fight for and stay alive. And, soon, with whom to form a small family of warriors.
During the short time you had to gather your few things, your father took it upon himself to inform König of all the good things you had to offer. You knew how to wash, cook, heal, and, best of all, you were a virgin. That last one excited König even more, who was excited by the idea of ââbeing the first (and only) to be between your legs.
You boarded a large ship with your wrists handcuffed to prevent you from escaping and an old cloth bag with some items of clothing. According to König, none of that would help you in the cold climate of traveling over the sea, plus he wanted you not to wear underwear.
"Look guys! König brought us this sweetness to share!" one of the Vikings exclaimed, making all the men's hungry gazes turn towards you. You sobbed at the idea of ââhaving to serve as a sexual slave for all those scary Vikings but that idea quickly disappeared when you noticed how König approached the man and growled: "don't go near her." Reporting that you were not a common asset to the crew, but his alone.
That same night you slept next to König in a more exclusive room than the rest of the men, who all slept in the same crowded place. You noticed that he had a higher rank than the rest, therefore you had certain advantages over the others. Luckily for you, König explored your body externally, caressing your breasts, ass and pussy but without trying anything else.
The weeks passed and with them you managed to get used to the lifestyle of those men. König had already warned everyone about your exclusivity only with him, so no one ever tried anything with you. Your routine was based on washing and cooking König's clothes, cleaning his war wounds and cooking for him and his men. During the nights, you only had to be in charge of helping him bathe and dress the times when he arrived very exhausted, then both of you would just lie down and sleep.
Inevitably you managed to appreciate him and desire the closeness of that massive man. König, for his part, also wanted you, demonstrating it in the way that during the night he would rest his big erection against your ass, or how he would sit you on his lap and take advantage of the movements of the boat to obtain a pleasurable friction.
That night, the sexual tension between the two was unsustainable and it didn't take long for both of them to achieve what they had longed for. Due to your tightness and the large size of König's member, his first thrusts were painful and uncomfortable. However, he took care of reducing your disagreement by sucking and biting your breasts.
"My little wife- ah I love your breasts and how tight you are.." König growled, bringing his hands to your hips, using you as his personal fleshlight.
Slowly, his long and thick cock entered completely inside of you, feeling a sensation of simultaneous pain and pleasure. His hot breath and masculine scent made your walls wrap even tighter around him, causing him to moan loudly.
"Mine, only mine. This pussy belongs to me, your breasts belong to me, you belong to me completely..." he murmured, bringing his mouth to your ear and lightly biting your lobe.
His thrusts increased along with his grunts, you sobbed with pleasure at the way his hair pubes touched your clit. "König- I want more.." you stammered, not quite able to formulate words.
"Huh? You want my cum? You want me to fill you up inside?" He asked as his pace became more clumsy, announcing that he was about to finish.
And so he did, filling your entire interior with his powerful semen that, after 9 months later, took shape into 2 chubby and healthy warriors.
#cod smut#cod#cod x reader#konig smut#konig cod#konig x reader#konig call of duty#viking!konig#cod fanfic#konig fanfiction#viking#cod fic#call of duty#call of duty smut#könig smut#könig x reader#könig cod
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touchy subject pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of a miscarriage, just pure agony! wc: 1.8k inspired by the song 'touchy subject' by peach prc. part 2
a white baby gate fixed in my hallway stays haunting the house with the angels we made; sometimes, i dream, a decade away, we meet in a grocery store; you look the same, with just a few grey hairs. the blonde little girl who tugs on your shirt with your smile looks nothing like me.
it had been four years since you had last been on kildare island; four years of trying to forget the life, or the ruined bones of one, that you'd been escaping from.
after ending your engagement with your fiancé, you'd traveled all around the country in your beat-up truck, hoping to find a place where you'd belong; only to end up back in the outer banks. they say there's no place like home, and in a way, it was true. you can leave kildare island, but kildare island will never leave you.
"everything okay?"
you're startled out of your thoughts by the melodic sound of your mother's voice, and when she follows your gaze to the baby-gate attached to the door leading to the kitchen, her mouth twists into a frown. "i was meant to take that down before you got here..." she chewed on her lower lip, a pang of guilt almost punching her in the chest.
"it's fine." you shrug, trying to lift the ends of your lips into a smile, only for it to look artificial and rehearsed. "i should start unpacking."
"alright." your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, but should've been a comforting gesture, made you feel like you were underwater and the hand was simply pushing you deeper.
you stood alone in the living room of your apartment, the only thing to be heard of was the ticking of the clock your mother had already mounted on the clock, mixed in with the sounds of passing cars, so unlike the day you first moved into the apartment, yet so much like the day you were last there.
"you should keep the apartment."
"rafe, i can't do that. it's way too much, and i'm leaving-"
"it's already in your name." the man sighed, smoothing his hand over his shaved head; he looked so different than usual, the dark bags under his eyes making him look like he had aged ten years, his usually tan face almost pale. "you can do whatever you want with it. keep it, sell it, i don't care. it's yours. i never want to step foot in this place again."
your feet were almost moving on their own, the hardwood floor cold under your feet, leading you to that door, and even though you felt your blood run cold, every cell of your body telling you not to open it, you couldn't help but nudge the door open.
you didn't know what you were expecting.
stepping into the room, you let your hand trail over the soft-pink wall, still remembering the smell of paint.
"you know, you shouldn't be doing that." he sighed, leaning against the doorway. "i can just hire someone to paint the walls."
you roll your eyes, your denim overalls covered in the soft pink paint as the paint stained the white wall, "i want to do this. i'm not gonna hire someone to do everything for me when i'm perfectly fine doing it on my own."
"you're not-"
"hush." you pointed the paint roller at rafe, "i'm doing this. now pick up a paint roller or quit whining."
you look down at the crib, lined with white lace, picking up the brown teddy bear that used to belong to you when you were a child, brushing your hand over the fur, straightening the pink bow around its neck.
hung above the crib, was a picture of a couple that had just gotten engaged, wide smiles on both of their faces; a couple that had once been so familiar to you, but now, it was like you couldn't recognize either of the people in the photos.
it felt like everyone was staring at you as they walked past you; four years clearly hadn't been long enough to make the people of outer banks forget about you, and as you made your way towards the local cafe, you couldn't help but think about how long it'd take for the person you didn't want to know you were in town to find out.
you were strolling down the street, rafe's hand in yours, your fingers intertwined. you licked the ice cream cone, deep in thought, letting rafe take the lead.
"what's going through that pretty head of yours?" he chuckled softly, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, your engagement ring glimmering under the sunlight.
"baby names." you shrug, "what should we name her?"
"do you have any names in mind?"
"i was thinking..." you pursed your lips, not sure if the name you had been considering would be appropriate or not, chewing on your lower lip as you turn your head to face your fiancé, an expectant smile on his lips and his brows lifted in question, "evelyn."
when the name left your lips, you saw his mouth fall open, and for a moment you thought that you never should've spoken, but after rafe cleared his throat, there was a clear smile on his lips, his blue eyes glassy.
"you- you uh, wanna name her after my mom?"
"yeah." you smile, squeezing his hand. "i do."
for the millionth night, you were laid in bed, looking through pictures, featuring the faces of the couple above the crib in the room next door. pictures with the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist, ones of them holding hands, ones where one was pressing a kiss the other person's cheek, ones from the several midsummers parties they spent together, ones from halloween, thanksgiving, christmas...
the girl in the dress she had planned to wear on her wedding day.
"rafe, where are you taking me?" you laughed, the blindfold covering your eyes, "if the blindfold's for some kinky purpose, you better forget about it."
rafe laughed, continuing to lead you, his large hands on your waist, "come on, have a little faith in me. i'm not that bad, am i?"
"oh, you definitely are. just last week we were an hour late to ava's party because you just thought i was irresistible."
rafe snorted, "well, that's because you were." he pressed a kiss on your cheek, "you can take it off." he whispered, taking a step away from you.
untying the blindfold, you blinked a few times, letting yourself get used to actually being able to see again, only to be startled by the sight of your boyfriend on one knee in front of you, a small velvet box in his hand, "rafe...?"
you wiped away the stray tear that had left your eye without permission before it could reach your jaw, continuing to scroll through the pictures, knowing that it'd be yet another sleepless night, but when you saw a picture of her, you paused.
you weren't sure who was more nervous, you or rafe, even though you were the one in the examination chair, your shirt pulled up and your rounded stomach on full display. his hand was tightly gripping yours, the man's jaw clenched.
"let's take a look, shall we?" the ultrasound technician smiled, and you nodded, feeling her spread the cold gel onto your stomach, a slight yelp leaving your lips, making rafe squeeze your hand even tighter. you looked to him, nodding reassuringly, speaking softly, "it's okay."
rafe's grip loosened slightly and he softened his grip, both of you turning your heads to the screen, and the moment you saw the little lump on the screen, you couldn't help but feel tears stinging in your eyes.
"look. that's our baby."
"shit..." rafe stared at the screen wide-eyed, letting out a low breath, "that's our baby."
just like on any average day on the island, the sun was shining, your skin radiating with warmth as you walked down the street, looking in through shop windows; it had been a few days since you'd first stepped outside, and it seemed like your arrival had become widespread news, and you didn't receive as many stares as you did before.
you arrived at rafe's door, bringing your hand up and pounding on the door before you could stop yourself and chicken out for the third time that week. you were a wreck, unable to sleep, to think about anything other than how much you knew you needed to talk to rafe.
you waited, tapping your foot against the ground and biting down on your lip, when finally, the door slowly started opening, a small smile forming on rafe's lips when he realized that it was you.
"hey baby," he chuckled softly, placing his hands on your waist, "you miss me so much you couldn't even text me to let you know you were coming?" he grinned.
"i have to talk to you." you pull away from his embrace, taking his hands off your waist, the blonde looking down at you with furrowed brows, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest, clearly alarmed by the slight frown on your lips.
"what's wrong?"
"i'm pregnant."
without even realizing it, you had stopped in front of a jewelry store, gazing inside at the things on display as you were going down memory lane inside your head. you let out a small chuckle, about to step back and continue walking, when your blood ran cold, the smile fading away from your face, feeling as if someone had stabbed you in the heart.
to anyone else, it would've just been the backs of two random people. but even without seeing his face, you could recognize the only man you'd ever loved no matter where you went.
his short-sleeved white collared shirt was tucked into his dark jeans, riding up slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, having grown out slightly since the last time you'd seen it, his signet ring on his middle finger.
you saw him let out a chuckle, and you could almost picture how it'd sound, his hand going to rest on the back of the person he was with.
a younger woman smiled up at him, and even just from her side profile, you could tell that she was gorgeous, her flaming hair flowing over her shoulders, the smile on her face genuine, matching his.
and when you saw what she was holding up and showing to him, the knife in your chest was twisted.
an engagement ring.
#đ«đđšđźđđĄđČ đŹđźđđŁđđđ#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron obx#outer banks rafe#obx season 4#obx4#rafe cameron angst#angst#rafe x you#rafe fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#outer banks fic#rafe cameron fluff
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THREE WEEKS & THREE DAYS - P.SH
pairing. best friend's ex!sunghoon x reader
genre. best friend's ex au, halloween au, smut, angst (if you squint).
word count. 12.2k+
warnings. alcohol consumption, drug usage, partying, driving under the influence, toxic relationships, themes of divorce, brief mention of physical abuse, smut [car sex, use of handcuffs, oral, praise kink/dirty talk, creampie]
summary. a stressful night at a Halloween party has you seeking comfort from the last person you should be involved with â your best friend's ex.
a/n. HIGHLY HIGHLY inspired by season 2 episode 1 of euphoria! this is a work of pure fiction and is NOT a reflection of how i view the members. despite writing this story, i DO NOT condone the dangerous choices the characters in this fic make and DO NOT encourage others to do so! read at your own discretion. also, very special thanks to @zreamy for beta-reading this for me!!
When you were six, you spent Halloween night lying on a hospital bed dressed as Hannah Montana.
Everything happened so fast; one moment, you were trick-or-treating with your father and younger sister while scarfing down a Snickers bar for the first time (a king-sized one at that), and the next, your dad was rushing you to the hospital in a panic, tears in his eyes as he encouraged you to stay awake in the backseat.
By the time youâd arrived at the hospital, your body had gone completely limp, and your father struggled to carry both you and your younger sister into the hospital lobby. From what you can remember, it was like a scene from a movie: seeing your dad cry for the first time, being wheeled into an unfamiliar bright room on a mobile bed, all while dressed as your favorite popstar.
The scariest part of the night was shortly after arriving at the hospital and catching a glimpse of your reflection, not recognizing the person staring back at you. The blonde wig and blue eye contacts were to be expected, but the swollen face and half-lidded eyes were another. Had you been able to breathe (let alone talk), you likely wouldâve given your sister a classic Halloween jumpscare.
Your mother had arrived only a few minutes after you did, yelling at your father loud enough to have the hospital staff threaten to kick her out. âYou forgot she was allergic to peanuts?! Where was her fucking EpiPen?!â
Your dad sighed, running a hand across his face, âI forgot to pick it up. Iâve been busy withâŠyou know.â
She scoffs, âYou donât think Iâve been busy too?! Especially now that we have to meet with the divorce lawyer once a week?!â
Your ears perk up at that, âDivorce?â
You hadnât known much about the true meaning of divorce, except that itâs something your friendâs parents had gone through, and now he gets two of everything. Two birthdays, two Christmases, two lives. So simple yet so perfect, what child wouldnât dream of that?
Your parents, who hadnât even known you were awake, silence themselves immediately. Tears quickly form in your motherâs eyes as she realizes theyâd been caught, trying their best to keep the news of their divorce as quiet as possible, waiting for the right moment to explain to you and your sister, Yuna, the real meaning of it, and how different your lives would be.
It dawns on them that thereâs no point trying to keep this secret any longer. You were a smart kid, it was probably only a matter of time before you found out on your own, anyway.Â
All in one night, you managed to survive a near-death experience, only to be followed by the news of your parentsâ divorce. And somehow, at twenty-three years old, watching Lee Heeseung flirt with random girls at a Halloween party is much worse than everything you experienced that cursed night in 2007.
âCan you at least pretend that youâre having a good time?!â You can barely hear Minjeong over how loud the music is, her words fading in and out as you take a sip from your cup.
âI am having a good time, isnât it obvious?â you reply, showing Minjeong your best fake smile.
Grinning, Minjeong shakes her head at you. âNot at all. Here, need a refill?â
Without waiting for your response, Minjeong hops off the kitchen counter and snatches the red solo cup in your hand. You donât bother protesting, sighing as you rest your weight against the marble countertop, while she adds a mix of different ingredients to your cup.
When sheâs not looking, you tilt your head in the direction of the living room, hoping to get a glance at Heeseung through the sea of drunken college students.
The only word that can be used to describe your relationship with Heeseung is âunfortunateâ. You were together for six months, and spent most of the time fighting, making up, and having sex. It was a relentless, tiresome cycle you allowed yourself to succumb to just for the sake of not having to be alone.
Most of the arguments would start with you questioning Heeseungâs loyalty, growing suspicious upon seeing his username pop up in the likes section of random girls on social media. In hindsight, it seems like a silly thing to get upset over. The entire purpose of social media was to connect and interact with others anyway, but, why was it always girls? And why would these girls suddenly start watching your stories?
Breaking up with him was harder than you couldâve imagined, and youâre sure you wouldnât have been able to do it without Minjeong by your side, encouraging you through the entire process.Â
The aftermath was embarrassingly excruciating. For two weeks, you locked yourself in your bedroom and fell into a cycle of sleeping and crying, occasionally taking breaks to eat or use the restroom. At one point, your phone spent a full forty-eight hours without being turned on at all, causing your loved ones to panic upon not being able to get ahold of you.
Slowly but surely you managed to build yourself back up, finally starting to feel like your old self when Heeseung suggested the two of you get back together.
You were hesitant, of course, telling Heeseung you were willing to work things out if he can prove to you heâs changed and ready to be the loyal, doting boyfriend he shouldâve been from the start.
So no, youâre not together. But youâre also not not together. Itâs confusing.
A football player is blocking your view of Heeseung (dressed as a cowboy), you have to stand on your tip-toes to catch a glimpse of him talking to â wait, who is that?
âPatrick would not stand for this.â Minjeong interrupts your thoughts, poking fun at your costume choice of a female Patrick Bateman.
You shrug, pretending to act clueless. âI wasnât doing anything.â
Minjeong rolls her eyes, shoving your cup back into your hand âSure, you werenât. Come on, cheers with me.â
âTo what?â you ask, suspiciously eyeing the drink sheâs just handed you. Minjeong isnât that great of a cook, so you can imagine sheâs not the best bartender either. In fact, itâd be best if she stayed far away from any sort of kitchen appliance.
She thinks for a moment then excitedly extends her cup out to you. âTo getting over our shitty ex-boyfriends!â
Minjeongâs ex was Park Sunghoon, they dated on and off for a year and a half before calling it quits over the summer. You donât remember the exact reason why they broke up, there were many different factors. It didnât matter, they were bad for each other anyway and the relationship was entirely too toxic for either of their wellbeing.Â
You donât know much about Sunghoon aside from the things Minjeong felt comfortable enough to share with you and the fact that he is on the universityâs hockey team with Heeseung. Youâve probably had a handful of conversations and interactions with Sunghoon in the entire time of knowing him, and are more than happy with things staying that way.
Holding your cup up high, you match Minjeongâs smile and tap your cup against hers. âTo getting over our ex-boyfriends!â
The drink is disgusting. You quickly turn away so you donât hurt your best friendâs feelings by gagging at the taste. She manages to down her entire cup while you make quick work of pouring a majority of yours down the sink behind you.
Minjeong stares down at her empty cup with wide eyes, licking the remains off her plump lips. âHoly shit, that was so good. Do you want more? Iâm gonna make myself another cup.â
âIâm good for now, thanks,â you say, snatching your cup away when she reaches for it. Minjeong raises a brow at you, and you follow up with, âI should wait before having another drink.â
She nods understandingly, and you give yourself a mental pat on the back for coming up with that so quickly.
While sheâs occupied with making another drink, your eyes trail back over towards Heeseung. The football player from earlier is gone, and now that your view is no longer obstructed, you watch in confusion as Heeseung now has this mystery girl by the waist, leaning his head down close to her lips as she whispers something in his ear.
This really is worse than Halloween 2007.
âHey.â You tap Minjeongâs shoulder. âIâll be right back, okay?â
She follows your line of sight, scowling when it lands on Heeseung. âYN, donât make a big deal out of this. You guys technically arenât even together.â
âRelax, Iâm just going to say hi.â You assure her, moving to head towards Heeseung when Minjeong stops you with a hand on your chest. âThink about this, please.â
You sigh, using your free hand to clutch hers and slowly bring it down from your chest. âIâll be fine. Be back soon so we can dance, okay?â
Minjeong knows she wonât be able to stop you once your mind is made up, all she can do is sigh and wish you the best as you make a beeline for your ex. Maybe not the greatest idea on your part, but youâre too tipsy to think rationally.
Heeseung doesnât notice you when you first approach, it takes the mystery girl awkwardly gesturing in your direction for him to finally look over at you, immediately dropping his hand from the girlâs waist. âYN!â He shouts, a little too excitedly, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
A few minutes later, you find yourself in an unfamiliar bedroom with Heeseung on step one of your toxic cycle â arguing.
âYouâre overreacting,â Heeseung claims. âWe were just talking.â
âAbout what, Heeseung? Why did you have to hold her by the fucking waist to talk to her?â
âBecause! She was drunk! I was holding her up so she wouldnât fall and hurt herself!â
âWho gives a shit if she falls? Sheâs not your fucking girlfriend.â
âYeah, well, neither are you.âÂ
His words shouldnât hurt as much as they do because heâs right; despite trying to work on things, you arenât his girlfriend. You were the one who said you werenât ready to get back together, not him. You shouldnât be upset with him for talking to other girls.
And yet, here you are with tears in your eyes.Â
You nod silently, avoiding his gaze as a lump forms in your throat.Â
Heeseung must realize how much his words have affected you if the way he curses at himself, and shamefully runs a hand across his face is anything to go by. âListen, Iâm sor-â
âDonât bother.â You stand from the bed, holding back a sob.âEverything about this was a mistake. Youâll never change.â
Heeseung reaches a hand out to grab your arm as you push past him. âYN, I didnât mean it.â
âYeah, Heeseung, you did mean it,â you say, pulling the bedroom door open.
There is no point in trying to reason with Heeseung. You know in a matter of time heâll apologize, youâll accept it like you always do, have make-up sex, then lecture him about how important it is that he changes before you can consider getting back together. Another endless cycle youâve fallen into.
Stepping back into the party, you head in the opposite direction of where Minjeong would be, not wanting to run into her in your current state and bump right into someone dressed as Spiderman, causing the little remains of your drink to spill over and knock to the ground. Youâre grateful that a crucial part of Patrick Batemanâs costume involved a plastic raincoat, or else your outfit would have suffered a dark blue stain.
âOh my God, YN! Iâm so sorry!â Spider-Man apologizes with a thick Australian accent.
âJake?â You question, gesturing for him to take the mask off.
He follows your command, face bright red from embarrassment or alcohol. Probably both.
âYeah, haha, hey. Really sorry about that, I can get you a new drink.â Jake turns in the direction of the kitchen before you stop him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
âItâs fine, Jake. Do you know where the bathroom is?â
Jake thinks for a moment, scratching at the small amount of stubble thatâs graced his chin. He really does make a perfect Spider-Man, and if you werenât so upset, you probably wouldâve stayed and told him that.
âUpstairs, all the way down the hall. Wait! Itâs occupied, people are doing coke in there, I think.â
Great.
You sigh. âDo you know if thereâs another one I can use?â
âIâm pretty sure thereâs one.â Jake turns, pointing to a door at the end of the hallway. âRight there. I saw a few people come in and out.â
Thanking Jake, you follow his direction and head to the door at the end of the hallway.
Itâs a garage, not a bathroom. But, as long as you get a moment alone, you donât really care where you are.
After shutting the door behind you, you sit on top of a washing machine and flinch at the cold metal sending chills down your thighs.
You shouldnât have come out tonight, you donât even care about Halloween to begin with. Itâs an overrated holiday, you wish you wouldâve convinced Minjeong to stay in with you and have a classic horror movie marathon while eating takeout and pausing to hand out (peanut-free) candy to trick-or-treaters.
Though, youâre sure you still wouldâve spent the better half of the night obsessively tapping through Heeseungâs Instagram stories or trying to spot him in the background of someone elseâs. It was a lose-lose situation no matter what, and you find yourself wondering if thereâs an end to this unhealthy cycle.
Despite being so young when it happened, youâre sure your parentsâ divorce obstructed your view of love and how a healthy adult relationship should work. Your father went on to have short-lived relationships with younger women who were using him for his money, while your mother remained single and chose to criticize her ex-husbandâs current lifestyle choices. They couldnât even co-parent in peace, always making petty comments to the other during drop-offs and pick-ups, finding any and every little thing to start arguing about.
One time in particular, after spending the weekend at your fatherâs house, your mother slapped him in a Dairy Queen parking lot upon realizing his new girlfriend had taken you and your sister to get your ears pierced. You didnât actually see the slap happen, but it was loud enough to echo through the empty parking lot and hard enough to leave a red mark on his face.
The memory has tears forming in your eyes for the umpteenth time tonight, but before any of them have the chance to trickle down, the garage door swings open.
You turn, and Park Sunghoon (dressed as a police officer) is staring back at you with a confused look on his face. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before pointing in the direction of the party. âUh, Jake said this was the bathroom.â
Shaking your head, you offer him a small smile. âNo, the bathroomâs upstairs but itâs being used. If you really have to go, Iâm pretty sure that door leads to the backyard.â You nod your head in the direction of the other door, and Sunghoon picks up on what youâre implying.
He thanks you before jogging over to the exit, setting his cup down on a metal dog crate before turning the knob and pushing open the door.
Sunghoon stands far enough out of frame that you only see a portion of his backside, and once the sound of him pissing on the grass hits your ears, you wonder why he didnât bother to close the door in the first place.
Men.
He clears his throat awkwardly, âSo, you sââ
You cut him off. âLetâs just wait until youâre done, please.â
Sunghoon nods, mumbling, âRight, right.â
He finishes up a few seconds later, zipping his pants back up and properly adjusting himself before returning to the garage, closing the door behind him and picking his drink back up in the process. âSo, Iâm guessing youâreâŠupset because of Heeseung?â
You let out a sad chuckle that sounds more like a sob. âLucky guess. Heâs just so fucking confusing, I canât take it.â
âYouâll be alright,â Sunghoon responds, slipping his phone from his pants pocket and unlocking it. âHeeseungâs a douchebag.â
This catches you off guard, and youâre laughing before you even realize it. âIsnât he your friend?â
Sunghoon shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at his phone as he scrolls. âNot really. We donât talk much if it isnât related to hockey or school.â
A beat of silence passes, then you ask, âWhen Heeseung and I were together, did he mention anything about cheating on me? Or talking to other girls?â
Sunghoon glances up at you for a split second, taking in how sad and hopeful you look before returning his gaze to the weather app heâd been using to distract himself.
He wasnât sure if Heeseung went as far as physically cheating on you, but he was definitely talking to other girls behind your back; proudly showing the hockey team countless nudes and vulgar photos they would send him, some of them coming from your own friends.Â
Sunghoon canât tell you this, youâre upset enough as it is.
âI wouldnât know, I always tuned him out whenever he talked.â
Though heâs not sure what answer you were hoping for, Sunghoon can tell youâre a little disappointed by his response. Truthfully, he didnât feel like getting involved in anyone elseâs drama. If you wanted clarity from Heeseung, you shouldâve gone straight to the source.
âSorry,â you apologize, feeling slightly embarrassed that you probably made things awkward, âhave you seen Minjeong?â
Your attempt to change the subject seems to work, because Sunghoon scoffs loudly at your question and shoves his phone back in his pocket. âHave I seen the girl that just spent ten minutes yelling at me? Yeah, we may have crossed paths.â He says sarcastically, shaking his head before taking a sip of his drink.
âYell at you? For what?â
âShe fuckinââŠI guess before we broke up she said I should dress up as a cop for Halloween and I mustâve said no, and now sheâs saying I only dressed up like this,â he gestures towards himself, âto spite her. Fuckinâ insanity.â
âWell, did you?â You canât help but ask, Minjeong would always go on for hours about how spiteful of a person Sunghoon was.
He shrugs, mindlessly tracing the rim of the red solo cup with his pointer finger, âMaybe, but this is all that was left in my size at the party store.â
Youâre surprised Sunghoon makes you laugh as much as he does, and maybe thatâs a bad thing since itâs making you enjoy talking to him. Though he technically isnât your enemy, heâs definitely not a person you should enjoy having a conversation with. Itâs not appropriate, heâs the ex boyfriend of your best friend; all your ties to him were cut the moment Minjeong broke up with him.
You should tell him to leave, that youâre really upset over Heeseung and prefer to be alone, but you donât. Instead, you keep the conversation going, laughing every joke he makes and completely forgetting why you were upset to begin with.
Halfway through telling Sunghoon about the horrid drink Minjeong had prepared for you, your legs grow numb from having been sat on for so long. You untuck them from underneath your body, not thinking much of it as you continue on with the story, legs dangling against the cold washing machine.
Sunghoon takes notice, though, his eyes quickly darting down to the space between your legs and the white fabric thatâs suddenly visible to him due to the short length of your skirt. You miss it the first time he does it, but the second and third time are hard to ignore, especially now that he doesnât seem to mind being caught.
You really should cross your legs or call him out on his staring. Or maybe even get up and leave entirely.
To no oneâs surprise you donât do either of those things and opt to keep your panties visible enough for Sunghoon to see while you continue to talk his ear off about his ex-girlfriend. Thereâs something unspoken happening between the two of you, and itâs exciting yet confusing since this is the longest conversation youâve had with him in the two years youâve known each other.Â
The strangest part of it all is that youâre just now realizing how attractive Sunghoon is, Sure, heâd always been a good looking guy, but youâd always seen him as Minjeongâs property and never paid much attention to his face out of respect for her.
But Minjeong no longer has a claim on him, and now you really notice the perfectly placed moles that graced the side of his nose and under his eye. He really was a sight to behold, you often find yourself stumbling over your words as you speak to him, becoming flustered over the intensity of the eye contact heâd been making with you.
ââŠmy throat is still burning and itâs been, like, twenty minutes.â You say with a laugh, watching as Sunghoon finishes off his own drink.
He sets the empty cup down, licking the remaining alcohol on his lips before smacking them, âYeah, I wouldnât trust her in a kitchen. Iâm not that good either, though. There was this one time I had to make brownies for our hockey teamâs bake sale and they turned out awful. Itâs like, half of them were watery and the other half were burnt. So weird.â
âThat doesnât even sound possible.â
âIâm serious! Hold on, I probably have a picture.âÂ
It takes Sunghoon approximately forty-five seconds of scrolling through his Snapchat memories to find a photo of those godforsaken brownies, and sure enough, they really are a watery, burnt mess. Not that you can even focus on the picture to begin with now that heâs sitting next to you on the washing machine, and youâre finally able to see him up close.
Sunghoonâs words go in one ear and out the other, because now youâre close enough to smell the cologne heâs dabbed on the back of his neck, and notice the metal handcuffs hooked in his belt loop, and it makes it hard to focus on anything else. Especially his uninteresting story about those stupid fucking brownies.
When Sunghoon locks his phone, you take it as a sign that heâs finished with his story and let out another laugh, âNot sure what I was expecting, but it wasnât that.â
âIâm a man of many talents,â he jokes, slightly slurring his words.Â
Maybe itâs the fact that his voice sounds deeper than usual, or that heâs staring right at you with half lidded eyes, or that he's started playing with the handcuffs on his waist, but Sunghoon looks dangerously attractive right now.Â
You gulp, looking down at your lap, âWell, at least one of us had a nice drink.â
Sunghoon nods, running his fingernails along your plastic raincoat, âWanna taste mine?â He asks, eyes darting down to your lips for a split second.
If there was ever a time to get up and leave, it shouldâve been now. The rational part of your brain is telling you to push Sunghoon away and return to the party and forget this encounter with him ever happened. But you canât move, and if youâre being honest, you donât even want to.
Youâre stuck in place, heart beating out of your chest as Sunghoon leans in closer to you. You feel dizzy in the best way possible, and a part of you feels sick for enjoying the moment as much as you do.Â
His breath fans your cheek, and the faint scent of alcohol on it shouldâve been enough to remind you that you shouldnât be in this situation with him. Still, you donât move.
Right before Sunghoon has the chance to kiss you, the door swings open and you jolt away from each other out of shock, clutching your chest as you watch Jake jog into the garage.
âYou guys seen my vape?â he asks, a little out of breath.
âIâŠno, Jake. Why would it be in the garage?â Sunghoon asks, hopping down from the washing machine. He offers a hand to help you down and you ignore it, finally starting to come back to your senses.
âDude, I donât fucking know! It was just in my pocket and now itâs gone, it could be anywhere. Help me look!â
Spending your night in a garage helping Jake look for a strawberry-flavored vape doesnât sound ideal in the slightest; now is the perfect time to leave.
Heading in the direction of the party, you pause when Sunghoon calls out your name, a slight shakiness to his voice. âKeep an eye out for me, yeah?â
Another beat of silence passes, then you nod and say, âYeah.â
In your defense, thereâs nothing to feel guilty over. All you did was have a conversation with Sunghoon, and keeping an eye out for him doesnât necessarily mean anything else will happen, right?
You try not to think too much about it as you exit the garage, holding in a laugh when Sunghoon says something along the lines of, âYouâre a grown ass man, Jake.â
What Minjeong lacks in cooking, she makes up for in dancing.
While you wouldnât consider yourself to be on her level of dancing, youâd say youâre good enough to keep up with her at a crowded party. If swaying to the music, holding hands, and grinding on each other counts as dancing, that is.
âYouâre too stiff; loosen up, babe,â she comments, fingers interlocked with yours.
âSorry,â you reply, slightly frustrated since you donât feel like dancing in the first place. âWhat were you saying?â
âOh, yeah!â Minjeong turns to face you, moving your arms to drape them around her shoulders. âThen he said I was being crazy, and that he only got the costume because it was all that was left in his size, as if I believe that.â
âSorry that happened,â you say, and it comes out more sarcastic than you had intended it to.Â
Minjeong takes notice of this, raising a brow at you before slipping her arms under your raincoat and pulling you closer to her. âYou okay?â
The two of you are pressed so close up against each other that it almost feels romantic, and youâre sure if there was another drink in your system youâd probably lean in and kiss her.Â
You nod. âJust thinking about Heeseung.â
Fake offended, Minjeongâs jaw drops. âYouâre dancing with the hottest girl at this party, and all you can think about is your ex? Iâm hurt, YN.â
Truth be told, her ex was the one you were thinking about, certainly not your own.
Not a whole lot of time has passed since you left Sunghoon in the garage, but you make sure to keep your promise of keeping an eye out for him upon returning to the party. Youâre certain that on the outside you probably look panicked and frantic, eyes darting all over the place for any sign of Sunghoon.
âWell,â Minjeong starts, tugging on your tie. âSince youâre thinking about your ex, itâs only fair that I think of mine; and there he is.â
You stop yourself from excitedly shouting, âWhere?!â and watch as Minjeong subtly nods towards the staircase.
Sure enough, Sunghoon is leaning against the banister, eyes zeroing in on you with his hands shoved in his pockets.
âHeâs been watching me for, like, ten minutes. Probably wants to see if you and I will make out, fucking pervert,â she says, rolling her eyes.
Minjeong has it wrong, Sunghoon has been watching you for the past ten minutes. Ever since he finished helping Jake find that stupid vape, heâs had his sights set on you and you only.
That other part was probably true, though.
You swallow the lump in your throat and say, âSuch a pervert.â It comes out a tad more robotic than you were going for, but you tried your best.Â
Once Sunghoon is sure that Minjeong is distracted, he mouths, âBathroom,â before immediately turning around and jogging up the steps.
Fuck, are you really about to do this?Â
Your eyes dart from Minjeong to the staircase, and you canât believe youâre even considering going upstairs to meet her ex. Everything about this predicament is sick and twisted and perfectly on brand for Halloween.Â
But, somehow, itâs not sick enough to stop you.
âHey, I think Iâm gonna get some air; Iâm feeling kinda dizzy,â you lie, hoping itâs believable enough.
Minjeong stops dancing immediately, a look of genuine concern on her face. âHere, Iâll come with you.â
âNo, no. You keep having fun, Iâll be back soon. Make another drink for me, okay? Iâm sure Iâll need it,â you assure her with a smile, taking her hands into yours.
âFine, Iâll be here. But the only drink Iâm making for you is a Ginger Ale.â
Thank God.
After giving Minjeong a kiss on the cheek (feeling guilty as ever), you slip past her and head towards the direction of the backyard. Once Minjeong is fully out of sight, you switch paths and sprint up the staircase, bumping into and angering a few people along the way.Â
You keep your head down once you reach the second floor, speed walking to the end of the hallway and avoiding eye contact with everyone you walk by until you reach the bathroom.
The door is closed and locked, of course, and thatâs when it dawns on you that this could be one big, elaborate prank from Sunghoon. You could open the door and be met with a camera in your face with Sunghoon recording, laughing maniacally before mentioning something about telling Minjeong everything and that he stayed loyal to her the entire time.
Unfortunately for you, even that possibility doesnât scare you away from knocking on the door and saying, âItâs me, YN.â
The knob twists before the door is pushed open, barely enough room to slide in discreetly, but you manage anyway.
Using your body weight to press the door shut, Sunghoon reaches behind you to make sure itâs locked. âYou really came.â
You hate that he sounds shocked, as if he had some faith that you wouldnât risk your friendship with Minjeong for a few minutes with him, of all people. Heâs not even your type.
âDonât make a big deal out of this.â
Sunghoon scoffs as if youâve said the most obvious thing in the world. âTrust me, I wonât.â
You donât have time to overthink the meaning of his words because before you can even realize it, Sunghoon is pushing you further up against the door, and heâs kissing you, finally kissing you.
This kiss is everything but soft, and it knocks the wind out of you. Sunghoonâs hand cups your jaw, tilting your head sideways to allow himself further into your mouth. Itâs wet and sloppy, youâre certain that dancing with Minjeong was far more romantic than this. You kiss back anyway, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and grabbing a fistful of his hair, shivers running down your spine when he groans into your mouth. Without breaking the kiss, Sunghoon reaches down to slip the raincoat off of you, pressing your body closer against him to ease it off.Â
He pulls away slowly, his blown-out eyes focused on the string of saliva that connects your mouths to one another. âFuck,â he groans at the sight, moving his mouth to kiss along your jaw.
You let out a moan when you feel his tongue slide against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, tilting your head back against the door. Sunghoon takes notice of this, focusing his attention on that same spot, sucking on it hard enough to leave a mark before teasingly scraping his canines along the area.
Quickly, your fingers move to unbutton your shirt, suddenly feeling warm all over. Youâre only halfway done when thereâs a sudden banging on the other side of the door, startling you enough to halt your movements.
âIgnore it,â Sunghoon mutters against your neck. âTheyâll go away.â
They donât go away, they actually start to bang louder and harder once a few seconds pass.
Sunghoon lets out a frustrated sigh, lifting his head away from you, âOccupied!â
âSunghoon?â You hear Minjeongâs voice on the other side of the door, causing you and Sunghoon both to freeze.
âM-Minjeong?â He stutters.
âI have to piss,â Minjeong whines, messing with the doorknob. âHurry up!â
Sunghoon must sense your panic and the fact that you feel like bursting into loud sobs, because he places his hand over your mouth before mouthing for you to stay quiet.
Minjeong doesnât let up on trying to open the door, and youâre sure that with just enough force, she could probably get it open.
âIâm using it! Canât you just go outside?â
âIâm a fucking girl, Sunghoon. Just hurry up and finish.â
âJustâŠjust hold on a second, Minnie.â
Minnie? Fuck is that about?
Sunghoon pulls you away from the door, keeping his voice and movements as low as possible. âYouâre gonna have to hide in the bathtub, just lay down flat and wait for her to leave.â
âWhat?! What if she sees me?!â You whisper, silently praying Minjeong canât hear you over the music.
âShe wonât, okay? Iâll pull the shower curtain back. Itâs the only option we have right now unless you want to jump out the window.â
You shake your head. âThere has to be a better idea.â
On the other side of the door, Minjeong begins to grow impatient, anxiously tapping her foot against the floor. Sheâs had three full drinks and is on the verge of busting the bathroom door down if Sunghoon doesnât open it soon. She focuses her gaze downward, raising a brow at a piece of plastic thatâs been slightly pushed under the crack of the door. What is it? A shower curtain? It canât be, why would the shower curtain be on the floor? It looks more likeâŠ
âFuck! The cops!â A drunk voice yells before the entire house panics, sirens and flashing blue and red lights fill the house.
Inside the bathroom, Sunghoon had still been trying to convince you to lay down in the bathtub when even more panic sets in.
Minjeong bangs on the door one last time. âSunghoon, the cops are here, you need to leave! Fuck, I gotta find YN!â She yells before taking off down the hall.
Police officers are raiding the house, and all Minjeong can focus on is finding you and making sure you're okay, while you were seconds away from hooking up with her ex. What a fucking nightmare.
âWe gotta jump out the window,â Sunghoon says, hurrying over to the other side of the bathroom and forcing the window open.
âWhat?! Why?!â
âPeople are doing fucking illegal drugs at this party, YN, and now the fucking cops are here. My dad works for the city and if-â He pauses to grunt, struggling to get the window all the way open. â-news spreads that his son was at a house party that was full of people doing fucking cocaine his career will be fucking over. Fuck!â
This doesnât explain why you have to jump out of the window with him, but you narrow it down to the possibility of Sunghoon just wanting to be around you for a little longer. And as pathetic as it sounds, you find yourself smiling at the possibility.
Sunghoon finally gets the window fully open, quickly hiking one leg over. âItâs not that far of a jump, weâll be fine. Iâll go first then let you know when to jump.â
âYouâll catch me?â you ask, buttoning your shirt back up. Now that the raincoat is gone, you probably resemble a perverted schoolgirl costume.
Sunghoon sighs. âYes, YN, I am going to catch you. Just be ready to run, my carâs down the street.â
He doesnât give you any time to protest before hiking his other leg out the window and jumping down; you watch in horror as he lands face down. If it werenât for your current predicament, youâre sure you wouldâve gotten the ick.
It takes Sunghoon a few seconds to get back up, brushing himself off before standing, âCome on! Hurry!â
Despite your hesitancy, you follow Sunghoonâs action and hike a leg out of the window, staring down at him. âAre you sure about this?!â
âIf you want me to catch you, you better jump now!â
Halloween fucking sucks.
You swear to yourself as you hike your other leg out of the window, saying a quick prayer as you brace yourself to jump.
Sunghoon doesnât exactly catch you, but he does brace your fall, which is good enough for you.Â
He groans in pain from the impact as you stand and dust yourself off, reaching a hand down to help him up. âSorry!â
Sunghoon stands, feeling a tad bit dizzy and lightheaded. âJust follow me.â
It isnât too late to turn around and find Minjeong and just leave with her. In fact, itâd be the morally correct thing to do in this situation. Not that you seem to care for morals.
You make a mental note to send Minjeong a text later as you run after Sunghoon.
Sunghoon is not that great of a driver, but this doesn't surprise you.
He's still somewhat tipsy, occasionally swerving along the empty back roads.
What makes it worse is that Minjeong has been calling and texting you nonstop, your phone practically burning a hole in your pocket as you ignore her relentless attempts.
Sunghoon is trying his hardest to stay focused on the road, but your phone ringing every few minutes was really starting to irritate him. "Just fucking answer her," he says, shaking his head.
"And say what? That I'm with you?"
Sunghoon isn't too pleased with your sarcasm and rolls his eyes, "Obviously not, YN; just do something to make her stop panicking."
That's way easier said than done, especially considering that you can barely even think about Minjeong without wanting to burst into tears. The guilt has already started to set in, and it has you questioning yourself and your morals.
You can't talk to Minjeong; it's too risky, but you can call your sister and ask her to cover for you.
Slipping your phone from your pocket, you force your eyes to unfocus and ignore the string of missed calls and messages from Minjeong, dialing your sister's phone number with trembling hands.
As always, Yuna answers on the fourth ring, sighing loudly into the phone before greeting you with a monotonous, "Hello?"
"Hey, um, I need you to help me with something," you keep your voice low, not wanting Sunghoon to hear your conversation despite being right next to him.
Yuna sighs again, "With what, YN?"
"The party I was at got raided by the cops, and we all ran, so if Minjeong calls you, I need you to tell her I'm with you," you say, your eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets when Sunghoon makes a sudden sharp turn.
"Sorry," he mutters under his breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
You hate that even now, you find him cute.
"Well, where are you?" Yuna asks, snapping you back to reality.
"I⊠it's not important, just please do me this favor."
Your sister scoffs, "You expect me to lie for you, and you can't even tell me the full story?"
"The full story isn't important, Yuna."
"Clearly, it is if you're asking me to lie to your best friend."
"Just tell her," Sunghoon groans, sounding slightly annoyed, "but make sure she doesn't tell anyone else."
Yuna doesn't have many friends, and the few she does have wouldn't even care about your drama, so it's not like she'd have anyone to share your business with. You hesitate anyway because of the principle of the situation, how just ten minutes ago you were unbuttoning your shirt for your best friend's ex. Maybe you're starting to come back to your senses because replaying the scene in your head has you cringing from embarrassment.
You lean your head against the window and squeeze your eyes shut, "I'm with Sunghoon."
The line goes silent for a few seconds, and you're worried you may have lost service from driving in such a rural area until Yuna sighs for a third time, "The pretty ones are never that bright."
"I swear it isn't like that," you plead, "just, please, help me out."
"And what will I get out of this?"
Of course, she wants something, classic younger sibling bullshit.
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't knowâŠa normal older sister?"
"Yuna, I don't have time for this, will you help me or not?"
Bickering with Yuna was starting to give you a headache; you were seconds away from hanging up and coming up with a new plan entirely.
"After tonight, don't involve me in this anymore; I have my own shit to deal with."
You hold back a laugh at that as if Yuna does anything other than stay home and talk to the same two people. "I won't, I swear. I'll text you when I'm close to being home; let me know if Minjeong reaches out to you."
"Whatever, just get home safe and don't do anything else stupid," Yuna says through a yawn before immediately hanging up, not giving you the chance to say goodbye.
As much as you loved your sister, the two of you weren't exactly close. The divide started sometime during high school; your interests and friend groups never really aligned and only led you to stray further away from each other.
You being fairly well-known within your high school didn't help much, either. Countless random students would approach Yuna on the daily, asking if you were seeing anyone, begging her for your number, or even giving her small gifts and treats to pass along to you.Â
What annoyed her the most was that they never called her by her name, in their eyes, she was always known as "YN's sister", and nothing more than that.
You're sure Yuna doesn't hate you because of it, but it certainly didn't make her very fond of you.
"What'd she say?" Sunghoon asks, interrupting your thoughts.
"She agreed to cover for me tonight," you respond, gazing out the window, "pretty sure she's pissed, though."
"She'll get over it," Sunghoon taps the navigation system on his dashboard, "type in your address."
Despite making you jump out of a bathroom window, Sunghoon technically doesn't owe you anything. He never claimed he'd bring you back to his place to finish what you started; you quite literally only jumped because he told you to, under the pretense that maybe â just maybe â he'd want to hook up with you.Â
Clearly, that wasn't happening, at least not tonight. Having to jump out the window and then proceed to drive while tipsy must've knocked some sense into him, making him realize he'd been making way too many questionable choices all in one night.Â
You let out a disappointed sigh, hesitantly reaching out to type your home address into the car's GPS. The system buffers for a few seconds as it calculates the quickest route to your home before displaying an estimated travel time of thirty-eight minutes.
"Forty fucking minutes?!" Sunghoon shouts, causing you to jump.Â
He sighs, cursing under his breath before reaching forward and ending the navigation route. You sit up further in the seat, ready to ask Sunghoon what he's plotting before he starts typing "7/11".
You raise a brow at this, "Why're we going there?"
Sunghoon gestures towards the navigation system as if the answer is obvious, "Your house is forty minutes away, and I'm still kinda tipsy; I'm gonna need to pull over and get something other than alcohol in my system if I'm gonna be driving for that long." There's a slight slur to his words that had you weary about him driving, so pulling over to recharge isn't a bad idea.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Sunghoon managed to safely drive the two of you to the nearest 7/11, opting to pay seventeen dollars to park in a parking garage down the street instead of the shop's personal lot.
"This neighborhood isn't that safe; I don't want anyone breaking into my car," he claims, taking up two spots as he parks in the most secluded corner possible.
The neighborhood is fairly safe; he was just being dramatic.
The walk down the street is quick and slightly awkward, with you and Sunghoon stumbling every few steps yet refusing to hold onto the other for stability.
The two of you go your separate ways upon entering the shop, Sunghoon headed straight towards the snack aisle while you make your way to the slurpee machines. The difference in your priorities was humorous, with him wanting to focus on building up energy and you wanting nothing more than a quick sugar fix.
Blue raspberry isn't necessarily your go-to flavor, but it's the only flavor on the Slurpee machine that's currently working, so you fill your plastic cup to the brim before absentmindedly reaching for a straw.
Sunghoon is still prancing around the store by the time you've finished making your drink, and despite not being that hungry, you decide to kill time by strolling through the snack aisles.
The Snickers bars and Reese's Cups look tempting as always, but you refrain, sighing as you look over the selection of peanut-contaminated candy.
"Don't even bother," Sunghoon says from behind you, causing you to gasp in shock.Â
He pauses for a moment, staring at the array of snacks before grabbing a pack of Skittles and walking off.
The thought of Sunghoon being aware of your peanut allergy is as comforting as it is strange. You can't imagine this is something Minjeong randomly decided to tell him, and even if that is the case, why would he bother retaining that information? It's not like the two of you are friends.
Whatever, you're probably thinking about it too much.
After deciding on a package of powdered mini donuts and Haribo gummy bears, you proceed to the checkout counter and set your items down, looking over your shoulder at Sunghoon, who was selecting the last of his items.
The man behind the counter smiles at you, typing his employee ID number into the cash register, "How's your night going?"
"Horrible," you say, making the clerk laugh even though you weren't joking.
"Sorry to hear that," he responds, scanning your items, "your total came out toâŠ$6.12. Oh, hello, officer."
Despite not having done anything wrong, you nearly panic before remembering Sunghoon's unfortunate costume choice.
He nods at the man, setting his own items down on the counter, "Add these too. You guys take Apple Pay?" He asks, unlocking his phone.
"Oh, you don't have to pay for mine," you say, a nervous tremble in your voice.
Sunghoon shrugs, "No big deal."
Except it is a big deal. Sunghoon behaving like a boyfriend gentleman by paying for your items only made you like him even more, which is the exact opposite of what you need right now.
You sigh, taking a literal and metaphorical step back as Sunghoon taps his phone on the card reader.Â
"A cop and a schoolgirl, huh? These couple's costumes are starting to make less and less sense," the employee comments, eyes darting between you and Sunghoon.Â
"We're not a couple," Sunghoon responds, a little too quickly for your liking, but whatever.
The employee apologizes, embarrassed about his implications as he bags your items and wishes the two of you a safe trip home.
On the way back to Sunghoon's car, it dawns on you that Minjeong has stopped trying to get ahold of you, which is slightly worrisome considering that she's a person who wouldn't give up that easily.Â
Sunghoon climbs into the backseat this time, mumbling something about needing to rest and stretch out before driving you home. He sets the bag down on the center console, grabbing a few of his items before propping himself up against the door.
You do the same, retrieving your own items from the bag before slumping into your seat.Â
When you finally unlock your phone, a new voice memo from Yuna is waiting for you. Hesitantly, you hold your phone against your ear and hit play.
Yuna lets out a loud sigh, "So, you and Minjeong must have some sort of, like, telepathic connection because she called me as soon as I hung up on you. Anyways, I told her our cousin was also at the party and was able to, uh, give you a ride home once the cops came. Oh, and I told her your phone died and that you'd call her, um, later or in the morning. I'm not sure if she believed it, but she calmed down.
And, by the way, I meant it when I said I don't want to be involved in whatever this is after tonight. So, for everyone's sake, if something serious is going on, do not tell me about it. Get home safe."
You're not entirely sure if you deserve a sister like Yuna, who'd go against her own morals just to cover for you, but you're grateful you have her.
you [11:54 pm] : *you liked a voice memo*
you [11:54 pm] : thanks so much
you [11:55 pm] : i promise i wont involve u anymore. if minnie calls again u can just ignore it and lmk please
yuna [11:56 pm] : oh and she told me to let you know that she's safe. tho im sure that's not your biggest concern :/
Harsh but true.
You set your phone on your lap and tear open your pack of donuts, wiping away the powdered sugar that falls onto your blouse. Much like the blue raspberry slurpee, mini powdered donuts weren't exactly your go-to snack, but your options were limited, and you weren't in the mood to roam around the store any longer.
Suddenly, Sunghoon groans from the backseat and sits up, "Phone died."
Leaning over the center console, he plugs his phone into the car charger right underneath his navigation system, resting it on the dashboard before returning to his seat.Â
The car falls silent, and as much as you want to start a conversation, you're not sure where to begin. There's so much you want to ask, but you refrain, biting down on your tongue so hard you're surprised the taste of blood doesn't fill your mouth.
Sunghoon leans forward again, this time resting his cheek on the side of your seat, "What'd you get?" he asks, staring down at your lap.
You turn your head to look at him, holding up the half-eaten pack of donuts for him to see.
"Can I have one?" he asks, already holding his hand out before you could even say yes.
You hand him one regardless, watching the powder fall from the pastry as he pops it into his mouth.
Your curiosity gets the best of you, and you find yourself narrowing your eyes at him as you ask, "Sunghoon, can I ask you something?"
He nods, gesturing towards the remaining donuts in a way that tells you he wants more. You hand him the remaining three, nodding back when he mumbles "Thanks" under his breath.
"How did you know that I'm allergic to peanuts?"
Sunghoon pauses, brows furrowing in utter confusion as he looks up at you, "What do you mean?"
"Earlier in the store, I was looking at the peanut candy, and you told me not to bother. I'm assuming you must've known I'm allergic, right?" You ask, fully turning around in your seat to face him.
"UmâŠyeah. I know."
"OkayâŠhow?"
"I mean, was it supposed to be a secret or something?"
"What? No, of course not. Allergies are probably the one thing that shouldn't be kept secret," you respond, "I'm just curious about how you know. I don't think I've ever told you, and I can't imagine Minjeong randomly deciding to tell you."
Sunghoon awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as he avoids looking at you. It takes the tips of his ears turning pink for you to realize that he's embarrassed, which only confuses you even further.
Sunghoon shrugs, staring down at the snack you've just given him, "Whenever all of us would hang out, and there was, like, food involved, I just noticed you'd pay so much attention to the ingredients of whatever it was you were eating. At first, I thought it was a calorie thing, but you never really asked about the calories, only the ingredients."
"But, how'd you know it was peanuts specifically?" you ask, feeling embarrassed about how curious you were over something as silly as a peanut allergy.
"Remember the hockey team bake sale? The one I made those terrible brownies for?" He asks, continuing when you nod, "You were there, and I remember how excited you were to try the cookies that Jake made, but right before you bought one, you asked him if there were peanuts in them. That's when I knew."
You can't remember the last time someone had paid this much attention to you, and it's dangerous, considering how easily impressed you are by the smallest things. Sunghoon was by no means a friend of yours; you hardly knew anything about each other and often kept your interactions rather short, so his being able to pick up on your peanut allergy just by watching you was ⊠different. Maybe even nice.
You don't even realize you've been staring at him until he stops chewing and stares back, unblinking.
You look away, retrieving your Slurpee from the cup holder and taking a long sip as Sunghoon watches.
"Can I ask you something now?" he asks.
You don't respond, side-eyeing him as you continue to sip your drink.
Sunghoon smirks, amused by your sudden silence, "Why'd you meet me in the bathroom?"
You pull the straw away from your lips, voice barely above a whisper as you respond, "To see what you wanted."
He nods, taking the cup from your hands, "You knew what I wanted," he says, pausing to take a sip of your drink, "and you still came; why?"
When you don't respond, Sunghoon lets out a loud sigh and sets your cup back down in its holder, "It's okay, YN."
"It isn't."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I guess we'll never know, huh?"
This is a test of your morals, and Sunghoon knows this. Every decision you've made tonight has led you to this exact moment. There's still enough time to redeem yourself and make an excuse for your actions. You could easily lie and say that making out with Sunghoon was just a result of being tipsy and vulnerable. But now, with the two of you in his car, sobering up and coming back down to your senses, you won't be able to use those same excuses.
Realistically speaking, what are the chances of your ex's finding out? Heeseung probably wouldn't care, but Minjeong was an entirely different story.
In your defense, they've been officially broken up for three weeks and three days, so you wouldn't technically be hooking up with her boyfriend. Right?
Sunghoon must've sensed the gears turning in your head because, after a few seconds of staring at each other in silence, he leaned over the center console and pressed his lips against yours.
The kiss is softer this time, nothing like how it was in the bathroom as if he's trying to coax you in and convince you it's okay, that you're doing nothing wrong.
You find yourself slipping under his spell, eyes finally fluttering shut as he gently swipes his tongue across your bottom lip. The faint taste of alcohol is still on his tongue, but he does taste much sweeter now, like the blue raspberry slurpee he'd just had. A part of you wonders if he'd done that on purpose as if tasting better would make you enjoy kissing him like this.
He pulls away, scooting farther back into his seat, "C'mere, climb over."
You do as you're told, slipping off your shoes with Sunghoon guiding you right onto his lap as you climb into the backseat. You can't help but squirm on his lap, and he can still sense a slight hesitancy in your actions, the way you shiver when he touches you, how you initially pulled back when he tried to kiss you again.
"You're nervous," he comments, eye flickering across your face.
You shrug, holding onto his shoulders for support, "I can't help it."
Beneath you, Sunghoon reaches down to unclip the handcuffs from his belt loop, "You're making it hard to focus."
"The fuck am I supposed to do, then?!" You didn't mean to shout, but your patience was starting to run thin. You felt guilty enough as it is, and Sunghoon reminding you of how nervous you are certainly didn't make it any better.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, undoing the handcuffs before grabbing your left hand. He tightens the cuff around your wrist, "Just trust me," he says simply. He sits up further in his seat, grabbing your cuffed wrist as he pulls down on the car's grab handle. He slips the empty cuff through the slot before gesturing for you to give him your free hand.
Fuck.
"SunghoonâŠ"
"Just trust me," he doesn't wait for a response, grabbing your wrist and bringing it up towards the empty cuff. It locks around your wrist with a click, causing him to smile in satisfaction.Â
You're sure that with just the right amount of force, you could easily snap the handcuffs in half, but it's the thought that counts. With your arms and hands restricted towards the ceiling, all you can do is stare down at Sunghooon and await his next movement, his very calculated movement.
He presses his cold lips against your neck, simultaneously using his hands to slowly unbutton your blouse. The mark he'd left on your neck earlier was as prominent as ever, and it pleased him to know you were okay with him marking you up like this. He swipes his tongue against the sensitive spot, hardening in his pants when you squirm on top of him.Â
His nails trace along the bare skin of your waist once he's finished unbuttoning your blouse, your bralette â that was a few sizes too small â fully on display for him. He's practically salivating at the site, his tongue sliding across his canines, completely in awe of your breasts spilling out of the flimsy, white material.
Sunghoon can't unclasp and slide off your bra, or else it'd be awkwardly hanging in the air, and trying to slip it through the handcuffs would take too much effort. Instead, he apologizes under his breath before his hands reach the front of your bra.
"Wait, Sunghoonâ!"
Without warning, he stretches the fabric until it finally rips, seemingly pleased with himself if the cocky smirk is anything to go by. "Relax," he says, "I'll buy you a new one."
You don't have time to scold him because before you can even process what's happening, Sunghoon's tongue is swirling around your nipple. You swear at the sudden contact, arching your back and pressing your chest further into his face. It's almost embarrassing how such a simple act already had your head spinning.
His hands trail downward until they reach the hem of your skirt, slowly pushing it upwards until it's bunched around your waist. He traces the tip of his finger across your clothes cunt, pleased with how wet you've already gotten without having done much.
Your hips buck up into his hands on instinct, desperate for the friction, borderline craving it.
Sunghoon releases your perked bud in his mouth, looking up at you as he asks, "You want me to stop?"
"No, please don't." You beg.
"So this is okay then, right?"
If your wrists weren't handcuffed to the grab handle, you're sure you would've reached down and choked him for all the teasing. "Yes, Sunghoon, it's okay! Just hurry up and do something!"
Sunghoon shakes his head at you, mumbling, "So impatient." as he moves to lie flat on his back.
You stare down at him, confused, when he doesn't immediately start undoing his pants but instead positions his head right between your thighs.
It's funny, Minjeong claimed Sunghoon wasn't really into giving head and only gave it to her a handful of times during the course of their relationship, claiming he preferred to save it for special occasions.
But yet, here he is, willingly pushing your thighs further apart before pressing his lips against your clothed cunt.
The action sends shivers down your spine, and the handcuffs around your wrist suddenly feel tighter. He presses his tongue flat against you, groaning at the taste of your slick that's soaked through your panties. You grind down on him instinctively, your body trembling with anticipation as you squeeze your eyes shut.
"Fuck." You whisper, tugging at the handcuffs in frustration.
The sound of the metal clinking makes Sunghoon chuckle, pressing a final kiss against your damped underwear before mumbling, "Cute."
He makes quick work of sliding your underwear off your legs, tossing them to theÂ
front seat with a grunt as you wait for him to continue. Sunghoon settles himself between your thighs again, groaning in annoyance as you hover over him. "Stop fucking hovering," he demands, attempting to pull you down directly onto his face, "it's fine."
It's too intimate; you've never even sat on Heeseung's face before, and you're sure this isn't something he's done with Minjeong.
"But, I don't wanna cru- fuck!"
Sunghoon dismisses your worries, forcing you down onto his face and instantly wrapping his lips around your clit. You barely have any time to process that this is completely new territory for you, being this intimate with a man, sitting right on his face while he drags his tongue along your cunt; gathering your wetness and dragging it up towards your clit before wrapping his lips around it once more.
You let out an embarrassingly loud moan at that, leaning your head against the cold window as your face heats up. This only encourages Sunghoon even further, and his confidence grows, feeling bold enough to tease the tip of his tongue into your hole.
You jolt up at this, biting back a moan and wishing you could reach down and grab a fistful of his hair and properly ride his face. He licks another stripe up your folds, gripping your thighs and holding your body in place when you try to squirm away.Â
"Stop trying to run from me," he groans into your pussy, the vibrations from his voice sending a shiver across your body.Â
He presses his face further into your cunt, moaning at how much wetter you've gotten since he's started. For a man who apparently wasn't one to eat a girl out, he sure did seem desperate and eager to have you come on his face. In fact, it almost seemed as if he was doing it for his own pleasure rather than yours, which only turns you on even more.
After a few more slides of his tongue, you finally feel your orgasm approaching, your thighs tensing around Sunghoon's head.
"I know you're close," he whispers, placing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, "go ahead, use me. I know you want to."
He's practically begging at this point, big, wet eyes staring up at you in pure adoration as he sucks your clit back into his mouth. That's your breaking point, the knot in your stomach finally untying itself as your orgasm washes over you.
You let out a moan so loud that your throat hurts shortly afterward, your wrists going limp in the handcuffs as you ride out your high.
Sunghoon doesn't let up until you're practically shaking from overstimulation, your body naturally twitching and squirming away from his greedy mouth as he cleans you up. He pulls away finally, his mouth and chin completely coated with your slick as he leaves a trail of kisses on your bare thighs.
You can't help but stare down at him in awe; he looks completely dazed as if he's running off, nothing but pure desperation and lust for you. You.
"Sunghoon," you say, trying to get his attention, "IâŠdo you keep condoms in here?"
He flutters his eyes open, shaking his head, "No, but 7/11's just down the street. I can go-"
You interrupt him with a shake of your head, "I don't wanna wait; we don't need one."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm on the pill. Just, please, fuck me already."
It's music to his ears, really.
Sunghoon slides himself back up the seat, reaching up to release you from the handcuffs. You groan at this, having gotten used to them and quite frankly enjoyed the temporary feeling of restriction.
"You liked the cuffs?" Sunghoon questions, dropping your wrists from the grab bar.
"Yeah," you admit, "I liked it more than I thought I would."
He nods at this, and you realize now that one of the cuffs is still clasped around your wrist. Sunghoon also notices this and smirks as an idea forms in his head. "Turn around."
You comply with no further questions, groaning when he suddenly pushes your body down into the seat. He brings your arms behind your back, handcuffing you once more as he lets out a sigh of pleasure. "I knew you'd like it."
Sunghoon pushes your skirt back up, straddling himself around your things after pulling his pants and boxers far enough to allow his cock to spring free. He steadies himself with a hand on your shoulder, using the other to teasingly drag his fully-hardened cock across your slick folds.
Sunghoon shivers at this, cursing at the sight as he repeats his movements. He knows he won't last much longer; he was practically seconds away from coming in his boxers just from eating you out, so he really should quit with the teasing for his own sake.
Minjeong had never allowed him to fuck her without a condom, so this type of intimacy was new and overwhelmingly good.
He finally pushes himself into you, his tip alone causing you to bite down on the leather of his seat. You already felt so full, and he wasn't even halfway inside yet.
"Ah fuck," he groans, "you're so tight, you're soâŠfuck." He can barely even form a sentence, biting down on his bottom lip as he further inches himself inside of you.
You're not doing any better, feeling as if you're already seconds away from your second orgasm when he's hardly even done anything. It takes a minute before he's fully inside of you, pausing before he leans down and asks, "Can I move?"
"Please, I need you to."
Sunghoon nods at this, pressing a kiss against your ear before sitting himself back up. He angles your hips off the seat but presses your chest further into it, giving you (and himself) the perfect arch to comfortably slide in and out.
The first few thrusts are slow, as expected, but just enough to get you used to his size. Even this was all too much for Sunghoon; he was already dangerously close to his orgasm.
He didn't intend on speeding up his thrusts already, but he really can't help it. Everything about this feels too good. The way your walls perfectly wrap around him, and the way you're moaning and cursing for him to keep going are overwhelmingly good.
"Fuck." He moans, squeezing his eyes shut as he presses you down further into the backseat. He pulls his cock all the way out before pushing himself back in, which you seem to enjoy. He does it a few more times, mostly to humor himself since it's something he assumed you would've been annoyed by.
"Sunghoon," you pant, "I'm close."
"Already?" He asks, pushing your hips downwards until you're lying flat on your stomach.
He tries to come off as cocky and frustrated, but he really is grateful you're already so close to your orgasm, seeing that he felt like he could burst at any given second.
You nod, "Please, keep going."
He doesn't respond, opting to remain silent as you pull his cock out of you before ramming it back in at a pace much harder and faster than before. His thrusts are sloppy and borderline desperate, the sound of skin slapping and grunts filling the air shortly afterward.
The two of you could hardly keep your eyes open, too lost in the pleasure of your approaching orgasms.
Your's hits first, and Sunghoon's follows shortly after, practically filling you up to the brim with his cum. You've never felt so full and warm, heat spreading through your entire body as you slowly calm down and regulate hour breathing.
Sunghoon doesn't feel like moving, but he does anyway, slipping himself out of you with a wince, watching his cum drip out of you and onto the seat of the car. He curses at the sight, stopping himself from leaning forward and eating it out of you.
He undoes both of the handcuffs this time, helping you sit up as you avoid eye contact with each other. "Hold on," he says, re-adjusting his pants and boxers, "I should have a towel or something in the trunk."
Sunghoon steps out of the car, returning a minute later with a towel in hand. He leans down, prepared to clean you up, until you stop him, "It's okay, I got it."
He shakes his head, "I can do it for you."
"It's fine," you say, buttoning up your shirt, "I'd prefer to do it myself, actually."
Sunghoon finally gives in, handing you the towel before leaning over the center console and retrieving your panties from the passenger seat. He waits patiently for you to finish up, instructing you to just drop the towel on the floor as he hands you your underwear.
"Hey, have youâŠdo you think you've sobered up yet?" He asks, watching as you slip your panties back on.
"Yeah, why?"
"Before I met you in the bathroom, I took a few bites of an edible, and I think it's starting to kick in. I think you should drive."
You sigh, mostly because this was not at all what you'd been hoping he'd say. "Drive where? To your place? Then where would I go?"
"I can pay for your Uber home."
"Sunghoon, it's past midnight, and I'm a girl; taking an Uber this late is too dangerous."
"Then drive back to your place; I'll sleep in the car and drive off in the morning."
You groan, "No, Minjeong might visit me in the morning. What'll she think when she sees your car in my driveway?"
"Dammit, YN, then just spend the night at my place. You can take my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch; just please drive us somewhere, for fuck's sake."
Bickering with Sunghoon somehow doesn't annoy you; in fact, it feels almost domestic. Going back and forth like a real couple.
"Fine." You say, climbing into the driver's seat.
Sunghoon's phone falls off the dashboard in the process, now charged at twenty-eight percent, and apparently, a missed text from Minjeong that was sent a few minutes ago.
The jealousy that fills your chest is downright abnormal; Minjeong is your best friend; there's no real reason for you to feel jealous of her in the first place.Â
In fact, you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt at all; it's not like they're still together. They've been broken up for three weeks and three days.Â
Three weeks. And Three days.
#enhypen smut#enhypen imagine#park sunghoon#sunghoon smut#sunghoon imagine#lee heeseung#sim jaeyun#jake sim#enhypen scenarios#kpop imagine#kpop smut#kpop scenarios#sleepyhoon
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Idia cater and octanivelle (seperate) with a reader s/o who gets cuteness aggression towards their boyfriend, dragging him to privacy if they arent already in it so they can smother to boy with kisses and then just leaving them be like they just did the most normal thing, leaving the characters to react in their own ways perhaps please?
Cuteness Agression with: Idia, Cater, Octatrio
a/n: i loved the ask omg i was giggling the entire time i was writing it. sorry for the really long wait and i hope you like it
Part 2: Malleus, Rook, Lilia, Jamil, Riddle, Leona
Idia Shroud
Idia had never considered himself cute. If anything, he was the exact opposite of what someone might find remotely attractiveâawkward, perpetually hunched over, and most likely to combust if too many people looked at him at once. But then, there was you.
You, with your sunshine-like enthusiasm and boundless energy, who had the audacity to look at himâhis mess of blue flames, oversized hoodie, and permanently slouched postureâand declare him the cutest thing youâd ever seen.
At first, he thought it was a joke. Surely, you couldnât be serious. But as time passed, it became glaringly obvious: you were dead serious.
It started on a quiet afternoon. Youâd found Idia tucked away in his room as usual, gaming with a focus so intense he didnât even notice you entering. His lips were pressed into a slight pout, his brows furrowed, and his hair glowed faintly with concentration.
And that was it. Something in your brain snapped.
You didnât even say anything, just marched over, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him out of his chair.
âH-Hey! What are youâ?!â Idia stammered, flailing as you dragged him out of the room and down the hall. âIâm in the middle of a raid! I canât just leave! My partyâs gonnaââ
You shoved open the door to an empty lounge, ignoring his protests, and pushed him onto the couch. Before he could even process what was happening, you pounced.
âYouâre so cute, I canât stand it!â you half-yelled, squishing his cheeks in your hands and pressing a flurry of kisses all over his face.
Idia froze. His brain blue-screened. âWh-Whatâ?!â
âNope, no talking,â you said, absolutely drunk on how adorable he looked when he was flustered. You kissed him again, your hands cradling his face like he was some precious, fragile thing. âYouâre so cute, itâs criminal! Iâm putting you under arrest.â
âTh-Thatâs notâ! Y-You canât justâ!â Idiaâs protests were muffled by your relentless affection. His flames sparked and flickered wildly, betraying just how utterly overwhelmed he was.
After several long moments, you finally relented, leaning back to admire your work. Idiaâs face was a brilliant shade of red, his hair practically sparking like fireworks. He looked dazed, his wide golden eyes staring at you like youâd just dropped from the sky.
âSee? Absolutely adorable,â you said smugly, crossing your arms like youâd just won some grand debate.
Idia sputtered, burying his face in his hands. âY-You canât just ambush me like that! W-What if someone saw?!â
You grinned, leaning forward to gently pull his hands away from his face. âNo one saw, and even if they did, so what? Youâre my boyfriend, and I reserve the right to smother you in kisses whenever I feel like it.â
Idia groaned, though there was no real heat behind it. âYouâre gonna give me a heart attack one day, I swear...â
âWorth it,â you teased, poking his cheek playfully.
From that day on, Idia learned to recognize the look.
Whenever your eyes lit up with that dangerous mix of adoration and mischief, he knew what was coming.
âWait, wait, waitââ heâd say, hands raised as if to fend you off. âLetâs talk about this! Letâs be rationalâ!â
But it was always too late.
No matter where you wereâwhether in the library, the cafeteria, or even in the middle of a gaming sessionâyouâd drag him off to a secluded spot, showering him with affection until he was a stuttering, blushing mess.
And the worst part? He couldnât even be mad about it.
Because, deep down, a part of him liked it.
Liked how unapologetically you loved him. Liked how your touch, your laughter, your relentless affection made him feel like maybeâjust maybeâhe was worth all the trouble.
Even if it left him blushing for hours afterward.
Cater Diamond
Cater Diamond loved attention. Loved being in the spotlight, basking in the glow of likes, comments, and shares. What he didnât anticipate was being the target of your unique brand of attentionâa combination of relentless affection and an overwhelming urge to smother him every time you deemed him too cute to function.
Which, as it turned out, was all the time.
It started with something simple: Cater had been showing you his latest MagiCam post. He was talking animatedly about angles, filters, and hashtags, and his grin was so radiant, his enthusiasm so infectious, that your brain short-circuited.
âCute,â you muttered under your breath. But then you looked at him againâthe sparkle in his green eyes, the playful way he stuck out his tongue as he scrolled through his phoneâand it hit you like a freight train.
âYouâre so cute, I canât handle it!â you practically yelled, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him out of the classroom before he could protest.
Cater stumbled after you, his phone clattering to the floor. âWhoa, whoa! Whatâs the rush? Did Iâ?â
You didnât let him finish. The moment you found an empty hallway, you spun around, cupped his cheeks, and peppered his face with kisses. âWhy are you so cute all the time? Itâs illegal. Illegal, Cater.â
His cheeks flushed pink as he let out a surprised laugh. âUh⊠I didnât know being adorable was a crime? Should I call the guards?â
âYes,â you huffed dramatically. âCall them. Tell them Iâm guilty of having too much cuteness aggression, and youâre the victim.â
Cater blinked, momentarily stunned into silence, and then broke into a grin so wide it couldâve lit up the entire school. âWow, youâre like my personal hype squad! This is the best day ever.â
From that day forward, Cater learned to recognize the warning signs.
Whenever you got that lookâthe one where your eyes sparkled and your hands fidgeted like you were holding yourself backâhe knew he was in for it.
âLetâs chill for a second,â heâd say, holding up his hands in mock surrender. âWeâre in public! Donât you wanna save this for, I dunno, somewhere private?â
Youâd smile sweetly. Too sweetly. âNope.â
And before he could escape, youâd grab him and whisk him away to some hidden corner of the school.
âSeriously, what did I even do this time?â Cater would ask, though his laughter betrayed any attempt at indignation.
âYou exist, Cater,â youâd reply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. âAnd youâre cute, and I canât stand it, so hold still.â
Cue more kisses, and more of Cater melting into a giggling mess under your relentless affection.
One afternoon, you found him lounging on the couch in the Heartslabyul lounge, scrolling through his MagiCam feed. Heâd tossed on one of his oversized sweaters, and his hair was slightly mussed like heâd just rolled out of bed.
It was too much. Your self-control snapped like a twig.
âOkay, thatâs it,â you said, marching over.
Cater looked up just in time to see you barreling toward him. âOh no, not againâ! Babe, wait! Let me post firstâ!â
You tackled him onto the couch, smothering him in kisses as he laughed and squirmed beneath you. âYouâre insane!â
âAnd youâre adorable!â you shot back, holding his face like it was the most precious thing in the world. âItâs a problem.â
Cater gave up resisting, his arms wrapping around your waist as he laughed breathlessly. âWell, I guess there are worse problems to have than being attacked by my cute, affectionate partnerâ
You kissed the tip of his nose, grinning down at him. âThatâs right. You should feel honored.â
âTotally,â Cater said with a wink, though the flush in his cheeks and the soft look in his eyes betrayed how much he really meant it.
Cater might have been used to playing roles, putting on masks to charm the world, but with you, there were no masks. No filters. Just him, basking in your unfiltered love, and loving every second of it. Even if it meant being smothered in kisses every time you found him too cute to handle.
Which, to your credit, was all the time.
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul Ashengrotto prided himself on being composed, professional, and, above all, respectable. He was a businessman, a contract wizard, a man of strategy. What he absolutely wasn't prepared for was how you, his beloved, had a penchant for completely derailing his carefully curated image with something as ridiculous as cuteness aggression.
And by the Sea Witch, you were relentless.
It started one evening in the Mostro Lounge. Azul had been reviewing paperwork behind the bar, his brow furrowed in concentration, glasses perched delicately on his nose. His pen moved with precise efficiency, the soft scratch of ink on parchment the only sound as he reviewed the latest inventory reports.
You were supposed to be helping, but instead, you found yourself distracted. Watching the way his fingers tapped lightly on the countertop, how his silver hair gleamed under the soft lounge lighting, and the faint pout of his lips as he puzzled over a tricky calculation⊠it was too much. The man was criminally adorable.
âAzul,â you said suddenly, voice tinged with barely suppressed glee.
He hummed, not looking up. âYes, my dear?â
You didnât reply, instead marching over to him with a determined look.
Azul glanced up just in time to see you close the distance between you, a dangerous gleam in your eyes. âW-Wait, what are youâ?â
Before he could finish his sentence, you grabbed his wrist, tugging him out of his chair with surprising strength.
âHey!â he yelped, stumbling after you. âIâm working! The reportsâ!â
âCan wait,â you interrupted firmly, dragging him into one of the private booths.
âHonestly, what has gotten intoââ
His protests were cut off as you shoved him onto the cushioned seat and cupped his face in your hands, your eyes sparkling with adoration.
âYouâre so cute,â you said, and the way your voice wavered with sheer affection sent Azulâs heart racing.
âIâwhat?â he sputtered, his composure crumbling.
âYouâre so cute,â you repeated, practically vibrating with energy. âI canât stand it. I have to kiss you. Right now.â
Azulâs face turned a brilliant shade of red, his glasses slipping slightly down his nose. âT-Thatâs hardly appropriateâ!â
You didnât let him finish, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, then his cheeks, then his lips.
Azul went completely still, his brain scrambling to process what was happening. His carefully constructed persona, the one he worked so hard to maintain, was nowhere to be found. Instead, he was just a blushing, flustered mess, completely at your mercy.
When you finally pulled back, his wide-eyed expression made you giggle. âThere. Much better,â you said, sitting back with a satisfied smile.
Azul blinked at you, utterly speechless. He adjusted his glasses with trembling fingers, tryingâand failingâto regain some semblance of dignity. âY-You canât just⊠do that!â
âSure I can,â you replied, unrepentant. âYouâre my boyfriend. Itâs in the job description.â
Azul opened his mouth to argue but faltered when he saw the way you were smiling at himâlike he was the most precious thing in the world. His heart stuttered, and he looked away, flustered beyond belief.
âYouâre insufferable,â he muttered, though there was no real heat behind his words.
âAnd you love it,â you teased, leaning in to steal another kiss.
From that moment on, Azul realized he had to be on high alert.
You had a habit of striking at the most unexpected times. Whether he was mid-negotiation, organizing the lounge staff, or simply trying to enjoy a quiet cup of tea, you always found a way to pull him aside and smother him with affection.
âWeâre in public,â heâd hiss, his face bright red as you kissed his knuckles in the middle of the lounge. âWhat will the customers think?â
âTheyâll think Iâm the luckiest person in the world,â you replied with a grin, completely unfazed.
âYouâre impossible,â Azul groaned, burying his face in his hands.
But despite his protests, there was a small, secret part of him that loved it. Loved the way you looked at him with stars in your eyes. Loved the way you laughed when he got flustered. Loved the way you made him feel like he was more than just a businessman, more than just the awkward, insecure octo-mer he used to be.
He would never admit it aloud, of courseâhis pride wouldnât allow it. But the next time you grabbed his hand and dragged him away with that mischievous glint in your eye, Azul didnât resist nearly as much as he claimed he would.
Because, really, who was he to deny you?
Jade Leech
Jade Leech was many thingsâelegant, composed, a touch unnerving when the moment called for itâbut "cute" wasnât exactly the first adjective that came to mind for most. For you, however, the sight of him was downright devastating.
The poised way he carried himself, the sly curve of his lips when he smiled, the faint glint of mischief in his mismatched eyesâit was all so unbearably adorable that it practically short-circuited your brain.
And it wasnât like you could keep it to yourself. No, you had to act on it. Every time.
The first time it happened, you were sitting in the Mostro Lounge, watching Jade work. He moved with his usual grace, balancing trays, speaking softly to patrons, and wearing that infuriatingly charming smile that made your heart race.
âAre you alright?â His smooth voice cut through your daze. He was standing right in front of you now, head tilted ever so slightly, curiosity evident on his face.
You blinked, realizing youâd been staring. âUh⊠yeah! Just⊠appreciating you.â
Jadeâs smile widened. âHow flattering. And what, pray tell, have I done to earn such attention?â
Oh, no. He was being cute and smug about it. That did it. You couldnât take it anymore.
Grabbing his wrist, you tugged him behind the lounge counter, away from the prying eyes of the customers. âJade, I canâtâI need toâjust stay still!â
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused but also intrigued. âStay still for what, exactly?â
You didnât answer, too busy cupping his face and pressing kisses all over it. His forehead, his cheeks, his noseâevery inch of him was a target.
âOh...â His voice trailed off, his usual composed demeanor slipping as he blinked down at you, utterly flabbergasted. âWhat⊠are you doing?â
âKissing you, obviously,â you mumbled between smooches, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Jade chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your lips as you kissed his jawline. âI see that. But why the sudden⊠enthusiasm?â
âBecause youâre too cute,â you declared, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. âAnd if I donât do this, Iâll explode. Itâs science.â
Jadeâs smile shifted into something softer, warmer. For a moment, he didnât say anything, simply studying your flushed, determined face. Then, with a low hum of approval, he gently wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.
âWell, far be it from me to stand in the way of scientific necessity,â he teased, leaning in to steal a kiss of his own.
From that point on, your "cuteness attacks" became a regular occurrence.
Whether he was reorganizing the terrarium in the Mostro Lounge, brewing potions in the lab, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with tea, you always found a way to interrupt him with your overwhelming affection.
âDear,â he said one evening, as you practically tackled him onto the couch in the loungeâs VIP room. âYou know I had work to finish, yes?â
âUh-huh,â you replied, pinning him beneath you as you kissed his nose.
âAnd youâre aware this is highly disruptive?â
âYup,â you said, grinning as you kissed the corner of his lips.
Jade sighed, but the way his arms came up to wrap around you betrayed his true feelings. âYou are incorrigible,â he murmured, his voice fond.
âThank you,â you replied cheerfully, planting one final kiss on his forehead before letting him sit up.
But Jade wasnât one to let you have all the fun.
One afternoon, after dragging him away from his duties yet again to smother him with kisses, you found yourself suddenly spun around and pinned gently against the wall.
âNow, now,â he said, his voice low and teasing as he leaned in close. âIt seems only fair that I get a turn, wouldnât you agree?â
Your breath hitched as his mismatched eyes glinted with amusement, and before you could respond, he leaned in to press a kiss to your temple. Then your cheek. Then your jaw.
âJ-Jade!â you stammered, your face heating up.
âYes, my dear?â he replied, entirely too smug as he trailed his lips to the corner of your mouth.
âThisâthis isnât how itâs supposed to go!â
He chuckled, finally pulling back to look at you. âOh? And how is it supposed to go?â
You pouted, crossing your arms. âIâm supposed to be the one attacking you with affection, not the other way around!â
Jade smiled, a rare, genuine expression that made your heart skip a beat. âI suppose turnabout is fair play, wouldnât you say?â
And as he leaned in to kiss you again, you decided that, yeah, maybe it was.
Floyd Leech
Being in a relationship with Floyd Leech meant two things: chaos and spontaneity. But what Floyd didnât expect was the level of cuteness aggression youâd unleash on him daily.
It started innocently enough. Floyd would flash you one of his sharp-toothed grins, or heâd laugh that unhinged laugh of his, and youâd feel your entire brain short-circuit.
His mismatched eyes, the way his hair fell over his face, the effortless energy he carriedâit all combined into something so painfully adorable that you couldnât handle it.
And you didnât.
The first incident occurred in the Mostro Lounge during a busy shift. Floyd was juggling three trays like a circus act, laughing at a poor customerâs flustered expression. You were seated at the counter, watching him, and suddenly, it hit you.
âShrimpyyy! Whatâre ya staring at?â Floyd called, his grin only widening as he caught you watching him.
Bad move. That grin. That grin was your undoing.
You slammed a tip down on the counter and marched straight up to him. âFloyd. Put the trays down.â
âHuh? Butââ
âPut them down,â you said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him behind the counter before he could even think to protest.
âOi, Shrimpy, whatâs the deal?!â
âYou. Are. Too. Cute!â you hissed, before cupping his face and attacking him with kisses.
âWhaâhey!â Floydâs laughter echoed through the empty kitchen as you smothered his cheeks, nose, and forehead with kisses. âYouâre so weird! I love it!â
By the time you were done, Floydâs face was flushed (a rare sight), and his laughter had turned soft, almost shy.
âShrimpy,â he said, his voice quieter than usual. âYouâre lucky I like ya so much. Otherwise, Iâd squeeze ya for embarrassinâ me like this.â
You grinned, pulling him in for one last peck on the lips. âYou love it.â
ââŠYeah, I do,â he admitted, the grin returning full force.
This became a regular thing. Anytime Floyd did something that struck you as particularly adorableâwhether it was his lazy, stretched-out posture during naps, the way his lips pouted when he was annoyed, or even the way he lit up like a kid when he got his favorite snacksâyouâd pounce.
âShrimpy, youâre at it again!â heâd laugh, squirming in your arms as you peppered kisses all over his face. âWhatâs the big idea, huh?â
âYouâre too cute. I canât stand it,â youâd reply every time, as if that explained everything.
And for Floyd, it kind of did.
One particularly memorable incident happened during a basketball game. Floyd was on fire, scoring point after point while practically dancing across the court. His energy was infectious, and you couldnât help but cheer louder than anyone else in the stands.
When the game ended and his team won, Floyd looked up at you, his grin wide, sweat dripping down his face, and he yelled, âDid ya see that, Shrimpy?! Iâm the MVP!â
That was it. That was the moment. You didnât even wait for him to come to you. You climbed down from the bleachers, sprinted across the court, and tackled him in a hug.
âShrimpy! Whatâre yaââ
âYouâre so cute when youâre excited!â you exclaimed, kissing his sweaty cheek.
The entire gym went silent as everyone stared, but Floyd? Floyd cackled so loudly that it echoed off the walls.
âHa! Youâre unbelievable, Shrimpy,â he said, hugging you back tightly. âBut I like that about ya. Keep it cominâ!â
It wasnât just in public, either. Even in quiet moments, Floyd basked in your affection.
One night, as the two of you lounged on the couch in your dorm, Floyd rested his head on your lap, dozing lightly. His peaceful expression, the way his lashes rested against his cheek, the soft rise and fall of his chestâit was too much.
âFloyd,â you whispered, nudging him gently.
He opened one eye, looking up at you. âHmm? Whatâs up, Shrimpy?â
âYouâre adorable,â you said simply, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
He chuckled, shifting to wrap his arms around your waist. âMan, youâre obsessed with me, huh?â
âYep. Totally obsessed.â
âGood,â he said, pulling you down so you were lying on top of him. ââCause Iâm obsessed with ya too.â
Floyd might have been unpredictable and chaotic, but there was one constant in his life: you, and the relentless affection you showered him with.
And if anyone dared to comment on it, Floyd would just grin, throw an arm around you, and say, âWhat? Shrimpy canât help themselves. Iâm irresistible, duh!â
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building blocks | yjh
(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)
pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to loveres | fluff, minor angst, attempt at humor, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: 19.7k (idk what to say atp) warnings: mentions of eating and drinking, jeonghan briefly drives a motorcycle, they're both engineering students but i don't claim to know engineering, the angst is minor because there's some miscommunication smut warnings: lots of kissing, hand job, fingering, slight voyeurism? (jeonghan watches reader finger herself), kind of loser!jeonghan, missionary sex, nothing really crazy all things considered
a/n: this is for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing đ„° also thank you to everyone that helped me brainstorm along the way @ugh-yoongi @haologram @highvern and of course to @wqnwoos for letting me borrow her name.
note 2: this isnât proofread. i had something come up irl and wanted to get it posted, so iâm sorry for any errors! iâll come back to it next week when i have a minute.
(tag list at the end)
Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that youâve gotten. There are times that you wonder if itâs all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all youâve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if thatâs also a little conceited. Itâs all you want and youâre so close to getting some much needed room to breathe.Â
ExceptâŠ
You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Masterâs program. You managed to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. Thatâll put you in a good position to carry on for your PhD, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation wonât just give it to you to recognize the years youâve put into this. No. He implies that thereâs something he needs from you.
Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. Itâs just that you didnât really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choiâs introductory structural engineering course. Itâs the course that weeds out whoâs actually going to carry on with the civil engineering branch of the Masterâs program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isnât a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and itâs the last thing you need during your final semester. Itâs hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. Itâs also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.
Whatever.
What doesnât kill you makes you stronger and all that.Â
So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once heâs done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Masterâs level course and you donât really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though theyâll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so whatâs the point in trying to change his system? Youâre not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go.Â
When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though youâre not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out, though.
âWell, Iâve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?â one student answers.
It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldnât be serious. Thereâs no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.
âWhy did you really join the program?â you ask. Thatâs what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.
âThat is why I joined,â he says with an infuriating smirk.Â
âWhat did you say your name was?â you ask.
âJeonghan,â he answers without anything else.
You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know youâre going to have to keep an eye on.Â
âDid I get a star already?â he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.
âSomething like that,â you say and then turn to the person next to him. âAnd why did you join?â
Nothing else grabs your attention during the remainder of the introductions. Several students volunteer what theyâre hoping to get out of the program. One brave student says sheâs heard that Professor Choi is tough before asking for your opinion. Although you give a neutral answer, you make a note to speak to her privately to address her (very valid) concerns.Â
When it comes time for you to return to speaking about the rest of the semester, you expect Jeonghan to interrupt in some way. He gives the impression of someone that likes causing a little bit of chaos or bringing attention to himself. Instead, he simply listens, notes something down occasionally, and gazes at you so intently that you nearly feel yourself flush. It would be a lot easier to ignore him if he didnât look like some kind of model, though. You catch yourself looking at him more than once when other students are sharing answers. His nearly black hair falls in longer layers around his face, not quite reaching his collar in the back. Thereâs something almost delicate about his nose, about all of his face, really. His features are soft in a sort of beautiful way. Itâs only when he catches you looking that you shake any consideration of his features from your mind.Â
Once thereâs only a few minutes left, you dismiss the class with a reminder that your email is beneath Professor Choiâs on the syllabus and youâre always around to help them. This class, you share, can be daunting and youâre here to help them get through it in one piece. That part comes out genuine because you do mean it. None of these students are to blame for the position youâre in. Itâs not their fault that they have a TA that doesnât really want to be in the position. So, youâre not going to make them suffer. Youâre going to help them just as the TA for your class helped you. You make a note to reach out to him and ask for some advice.
Jeonghanâs eyes linger on you as the other students get out of their seats and begin talking, mostly about what theyâre most excited for in the coming semester. You have to break first and look down to collect some papers from the desk. It also helps to remind yourself this is the same student who said he joined the class because he likes Legos. Ridiculous. When you look back up at the class, youâre half expecting to see his attention is still on you. Itâs not. Heâs joined a few classmates and is leaving the room without a backward glance.Â
Legos, you remind yourself, and return to gathering your things.Â
The one good thing about all this is that itâs an evening course, designed for people that have to work during the day. When the class is over, you get to go straight home to eat dinner and meld into the couch with your roommate, who also happens to be your best friend.Â
You: iâm tired, want me to pick up food on the way home?
Bestie boo: i already called in an order from that one place you like so you can pick it up on the way homeÂ
You: wow who are you and what have you done with my best friend?
Bestie boo: i didnât pay for it
You let out a snort because thatâs exactly the friend you know and love. He has to cover up ordering your favorite food from your favorite restaurant, which is sweet, by reminding you heâs still a giant pain in the ass. The gesture is enough for you to ignore it and just let him have this win. Maybe youâre off your game, but youâre a little tired.
âYou should watch where youâre going.âÂ
The comment nearly makes you jump out of your skin. Sure, you scare easily as it is. But itâs worse when the voice comes out of seemingly nowhere. Of course itâs Jeonghan from your class, leaning against the wall just outside the building. His eyes glint at your reaction, like heâs enjoying it. Maybe he is. A second later, he pushes off from the wall to come closer.Â
âAnd you shouldnât scare people like that,â you retort when your heart slows a bit. Heâs looking at you conspiratorially. âDid you have a question from the class?âÂ
âNo,â he answers easily.Â
âSoâŠâ you start.Â
âDo you memorize the faces of all your students so quickly?â he wonders, continuing when you give him an odd look. âOr am I special?âÂ
âYou made an impression,â you say neutrally.
âA positive one?â he presses.
âI didnât say that,â you counter.
âBut, still, you remembered me. Unless you learn all your students' faces before class as TA duties,â he says.
You sigh and decide to give him a partial truth, one thatâs less likely to bite you than admitting his face is one of the only ones you remember. âI havenât been a TA before so I donât have a manual for how Iâm going to approach it.âÂ
âHappy I get to be your first, then,â he says and turns to walk away. He turns back over his shoulder with a wicked smile and calls, âsee you next class!âÂ
Your mind is preoccupied all the way to the restaurant to pick up the food and all the way back to your apartment. Itâs only been one day of class and you can already feel that this student is going to be a menace. Worse than that, he seems like he knows heâs getting under your skin and wants to press it even further. Realistically, you just have to get through any of the classes that you lead. Otherwise, heâll be the professorâs issue.Â
Seungkwan is waiting on the couch, aimlessly scrolling on his phone when you walk into the living room, takeout containers in hand. Itâs relatively familiar, though you know that he also likes to be out whenever he can. A perpetual social butterfly.Â
âToday was already fucking annoying,â you moan when you set the boxes down and flop onto the couch.
Seungkwan gives you a sympathetic look. âAt least youâre one step closer to getting what you need from that idiot.â
Youâre confused for a moment because you hadnât been thinking of Professor Choi at all. âOh, yeah, no. I wasnât talking about Choi.âÂ
âWhat was the issue then?â Seungkwan asks as he leans forward to get his food.
âThereâs this guy in the class and I donât know. I canât figure him out,â you offer. âHeâs so annoying. Like who signs up for a structural engineering class just because he likes building Legos? And that smirk. Ugh. I hate him.â
âSure sounds like it,â Seungkwan quips.Â
âFuck off, I do,â you double down.Â
âWhatâs he look like? Is he cute?â he wonders.
âDoes it matter?â you ask.
âNo. You answered anyway,â Seungkwan says with a grin.
âFine, yes he is attractive because for some reason Iâve been cursed. Why do all you annoying people in my life also have to be hot?â you whine, casting a look at your roommate.
âDid you just call me hot?â he barks through a laugh.Â
âFuck off, just pick a show. Itâs your turn,â you say with a push on his arm.Â
You make it through the first few classes as a TA without much to report. Jeonghan tries your patience, but thereâs not much he can do during the class and he doesnât linger afterwards. Thatâs usually when Professor Choi wants to debrief on the course material and make sure the next class is ready. The class is also just starting to get into the real material and away from the foundational information.Â
But, now the course is well and truly underway, which means you have to announce that youâll be starting to hold your own office hours every week. Of course, Choi also has office hours and students could take advantage of those. Probably would, if not for the fact that he encourages the class to go to you first to try and resolve anything. Something about how heâs very busy and thatâs why he has a TA. Itâs exhausting and just another obstacle in getting what you need.Â
After getting feedback from the class, you decide to set two different times for office hours, one during the late afternoon and one during the early evening to accommodate schedules. A few students show up right at the start of your first office hours session with similar concerns. So, you invite them in and start to work through a few practice problems to illustrate the point that theyâre struggling to understand. Itâs actually surprisingly easy to work in this way. You would never admit it to Professor Choi, but itâs actually kind of enjoyable. Thereâs value in helping someone understand a difficult concept. Itâs also really rewarding to watch the comprehension dawn on the faces around you as each of them seems to grasp what youâre saying.Â
Honestly, you canât imagine your first office hours going any better when youâre already an hour into it and youâve been working with the same three students. Of course, just as theyâre gathering their things to head out, feeling more confident than when they showed up, Jeonghan appears in the doorway. He doesnât even say anything at first, just looks around at the other students. They seem oblivious to whatâs happening around them.
âThanks again,â one student says as heâs standing up.
Another student catches sight of Jeonghan and she smiles. âOh, sorry Jeonghan. We didnât know you were having trouble with any of the concepts or we would have asked you to join us.âÂ
âThatâs fine,â he says easily. âI was busy until just now anyway.âÂ
âDo you all feel confident with the topics? Or would you like to stay and go over something now that Jeonghan is here?â you ask, trying not to appear hopeful. (And failing at that pretty miserably.)
âOh no, weâre definitely set. And we had plans,â the first student says with a look over at Jeonghan.
The three of them exchange goodbyes with Jeonghan and head out, allowing Jeonghan to close the door behind them before plopping into a seat at the table in your office. Heâs directly across from you, which makes it hard to avoid his eyes. When you do meet his eye, though, heâs got a sneaky, all-knowing look on his face. You donât like the loot of it one bit.
âWhatâs with the look?â you ask.
âWhat do you mean?â he retorts quickly.
âYouâre making a face,â you say.
âAre you saying you donât like my face?â Jeonghan asks, pretending to be offended.Â
âWhy are you here, Jeonghan?â you ask to switch tactics.Â
âThese are your office hours. Iâm here to ask questions about the material,â he says.Â
âYou donât need any help with the material so far. Iâve graded your problem sets and the answers have been perfect,â you admit.Â
âImpressive, isnât it?â he muses.Â
âIâm not answering that. It brings me back to my question, though. If you donât need help, why are you here?â you press.
âWhy does it seem like you donât like me?â he asks.
âI donât have any feelings about you either way,â you deflect.
âNow, thatâs not true,â he disagrees.Â
âYouâre determined to get under my skin,â you say, half as a joke.Â
âDetermined to figure you out,â he corrects. âIt doesnât seem like youâre all that excited about being a TA.â
âThatâs because I was forced into it,â you blurt out and immediately clap a hand over your mouth. Thatâs the last thing you meant to say. âI didnât meanâŠâ
âNow weâre getting somewhere in this relationship,â he says, sitting back into his seat with a satisfied smile.Â
You heave another heavy sigh, a common occurrence around this man. âWhy are you so determined to figure me out? Why do you care how I feel about you?â
âBecause everyone seems to like me right off the bat,â he says.Â
âI can see why,â you deadpan.Â
âSo can I stay? Or do you have very important things to do?â he asks.
âItâs my office hours, so Iâm here to help students until the two hours are up,â you admit.
âPerfect.â
The next few times that you hold office hours feature Jeonghan showing up for the second half. It seems deliberate that he doesnât show up right when they start, especially because you always have at least one other student in your office. If thereâs another student there, he joins in to ask questions along with whoever else is there. When itâs just him, his questions are much more personal. Itâs obvious that he wants to know you. Know your likes and dislikes, know the things that make you tick, know who you are when youâre not at school. Seems very convinced that the version of you outside the walls of the engineering building is very different from the one he sees. Jeonghan doesnât seem to realize that heâs slowly getting more and more of a peek into who you really are. Thankfully, he doesnât bring up your slip about being forced into being a TA.Â
It doesnât make it any easier to be around him.
It should. You should be able to get used to his particular brand of torture. Yet, with each new piece of information you learn, you unlock even more questions. Itâs like you canât ever really figure him out. Or maybe that he doesnât want you to. Heâs very careful to give vague answers about the serious things, while he goes on and on about the things that donât matter. Heâll spend a solid five minutes talking about the latest Lego heâs building, but then breeze past the few questions you ask about him personally. It usually includes some sort of quip about how heâs wearing you down and how you clearly want to know him better.Â
âBet you thought you were escaping me today,â a voice says, startling you out of your thoughts.Â
âJesus Christ,â you gasp. Your heart beats a mile a minute as you look up to glare at the intruder.Â
âNo, Yoon Jeonghan. I can see the confusion, though,â he says and you sigh heavily.Â
âOffice hours are almost over,â you point out.Â
âNot for 20 more minutes,â he counters.Â
âRight, but I was in the middle of grading something,â you say, indicating the design plans in front of you. He glances over at them.
âHm,â he says.
âWhat, Jeonghan?â you ask with exasperation.
âJust doesnât look like mine is all,â he says and plops into the chair across from you.
âWell obviously,â you say. âCanât exactly grade your project with you sitting here.âÂ
For some reason, that makes him break out into a wicked grin. âSo you arenât grading my assignment because you were hoping Iâd show up.âÂ
Ah, yes. Now you see your mistake. Should have definitely seen that coming, too. âYouâve come to every other session. I wasnât hoping youâd show up again, but it was a fair assumption that you might.âÂ
âWhatever you need to tell yourself,â he says placatingly. âDâyou have a question?â you ask. The tension headache you associate with Jeonghanâs presence in your life is threatening to make an appearance.Â
âNope,â he says, popping the last syllable.Â
A notification on your phone stops you from responding to him and you unlock it immediately. It seems that Professor Choi needs to give you a stack of assignments and instead of just walking a few doors down the hall, he had to send a message. You drop your phone back on the desk with the message still open and take a calming breath.Â
âEverything good?â Jeonghan asks with more care than youâre used to.
âYeah, Iâll be right back. Have to go pick something up from Professor Choiâs office,â you say, already on your feet and heading towards the door.Â
It only takes a minute or two for you to go and come back. For once, youâre thankful for Jeonghan because it gives you the ready-made excuse that youâre just wrapping up office hours with a student waiting for you to return. He doesnât need to know that student hasnât ever asked you a class related question without another student present. Youâll take the wins where you can get them. The pain in ass in question is still sitting exactly where he was when you left him.Â
He looks up at you as you walk back in, set the folders on the corner of your desk, and sit back down. âYou really hate Professor Choi.âÂ
âI didnât say that,â you counter quickly. Probably too quickly.Â
âYou didnât have to. Sometimes you have a really expressive face,â he comments and looks back down at his phone.Â
âOnly sometimes?â you wonder. Jeonghan looks back up to regard you.
âItâs always expressive, but you work a little harder to control it in class than you do outside of it,â he decides. âYou mentioned something about being forced into this. Why be a TA if you hate it?âÂ
âI donât actually hate being a TA,â you clarify. He seems to accept this at face value. âItâs justâŠI didnâtâŠno. Why am I doing this with you?â
âBecause Iâm asking?â he offers.Â
âI had never considered being a TA. I wasnât opposed to it, I just hadnât really fit it into my schedule. It has been a lot of fun, though,â you say. Itâs the first time youâve noticed how much attention Jeonghan gives you. The way his eyes are on you and it seems like he tunes out any other distractions.Â
âHow did you end up here, then?â he asks. Any teasing or lightness is gone from his tone.Â
âPlease donât make me regret giving you the honest answer,â you say warily. âBut, Iâm applying for my PhD program. I have everything that I needâŠexcept for a final letter of recommendation.â
âOh, youâre joking,â he says and actually does look offended on your behalf. âHeâs making you TA for him in exchange for the letter? Thatâs why you said you were forced into it?â
âYup,â you respond, popping the end of the word like he had done earlier..Â
âWell, thatâs definitely shitty but Iâm still counting myself lucky that you ended up with this class,â he says.
âI canât figure you out,â you admit.Â
âI know.âÂ
That should be annoying, the way he says that he knows you canât figure him out. Itâs like heâs not even trying to hide that heâs making it difficult to get to know him. Yet, heâs not making it a secret that he wants to get to know you better. Thereâs just something about him that prompts you to share things you wouldnât with anyone else. No, thatâs dramatic. Itâs just easier to share with him than it usually is with someone else that you barely know.Â
Despite asking again if Jeonghan has any questions, he insists that heâs fine with just sitting there to keep you company while you have to wait to see if any student comes by in the last minutes of your office hours. For a change, he doesnât ask any personal questions. Doesnât try to press you into admitting things that you usually wouldnât. He just takes out his laptop to make it look like youâre actually helping him in the event that anyone checks in on you.Â
Nobody does. The last few minutes pass quickly with you returning to grading the assignment you had been working on. The two of you gather up your things in relative silence and Jeonghan walks with you out to your car so that you can head home. Youâre expecting something else or something different, but thatâs all there is. Just a walk to your car, a smile with a goodbye, and him heading off in another direction. Itâs somehow the strangest and most normal interaction youâve had with him. It makes you pause to wonder if this is the real version of him. A little quiet, a little reserved. Not being a menace to anything and anyone in his path.
Itâs not until youâre back home, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine while watching some variety show with Seungkwan that you realize it wasnât quite the normal interaction you thought it was.Â
Jeonghan: i appreciated you telling me the truth about the class today
The message lights up your screen and all you can do is stare at it without being able to believe it. How are you getting a message from Jeonghan with his contact information saved? Youâre racking your brain trying to figure out if you gave him your number, or saved his, and just didnât remember.Â
âWhatâs with your face?â Seungkwan asks.
âWow, that was nice,â you retort.
He looks over at your phone where the notification still shows a message from Jeonghan. âFinally gave him your number, huh?â
âNo, I -â you start when another message comes in.
Jeonghan: you left your phone unlocked when you went to Choiâs office and I figured it was time for us to exchange numbers
Seungkwan, now more invested in your messages than in the show in the background, lets out a low whistle of appreciation. âWow, heâs good. I see why you like him.â
âI donât like him, Kwan,â you sigh.
âSure,â he says dismissively.Â
As if to prove something, you make a show of moving your phone over to the end table and turning it over. Seungkwan gives you a Look that plainly says heâs not buying whatever it is youâre trying to sell. Otherwise, he lets you go back to the show that youâre watching without bringing it up again.Â
The text thread with Jeonghan seems to haunt you every time you open your messages, at least until there are enough conversations to push it out of your view. Surprisingly, you donât get any more texts from him when you donât answer. He also doesnât show up to your next office hours, which is a bit odd to you. And you canât vent to Seungkwan about it because heâs still very convinced that itâs only a matter of time before you end up sleeping with Jeonghan. Ridiculous, honestly. Like you would waste your time on someone youâre not even sure you like.Â
That carries you through to your next class. Itâs a slightly more complicated lecture that Choi does every semester to try and scare students off this path. He claims itâs so that everyone knows what they would be getting into. You suspect that itâs his way of reminding everyone just how smart he is. Not exactly the most flattering trait, but you suppose that he probably doesnât care about that. Doesnât need to. Heâs been teaching so long that his job is guaranteed at this point.Â
The good thing, though, about knowing Choi wonât need you during the entirety of the class is that you get to just sit at the back of the class and do some work. It gives you the chance to get through grading some of the assignments for the class without having to take time away from something else. Letâs you get absorbed into that to tune out the grating sound of Choiâs monotonous voice as he tries his best to warn students off the path. Youâre so absorbed that you donât notice the way that Jeonghan periodically glances over his shoulder to where youâre sitting, trying to catch your attention even for a moment.Â
When the class comes to an end, you make your way up to the front as you would any other time. Itâs a little irritating to have to check if thereâs anything Professor Choi needs like youâre his personal assistant, but youâre also resigned. What youâre not prepared for, though, is that he calls Jeonghan up to the front of the room.
âYes, Professor?â he says with so much respect and deference that it almost feels real, if you didnât know how he feels. One of the only personal things you actually know about this mystery of a man..Â
âI really enjoyed your proposal for the final project using Legos,â Choi starts. âEvery few semesters, I get someone that seems to think being good at using plastic building blocks means theyâd make a good engineer. But, youâve actually been doing wonderfully in the class. So, I want you to work with my TA here to refine the idea a little bit. I donât think youâre meeting your full potential with it yet.âÂ
âOh, well Professor ChoiâŠâ you start and he waves a hand.Â
âSurely it isnât a problem to help foster the best student in my class, is it?â he challenges.
âNo, of course not,â you concede.Â
Professor Choi wears a triumphant smile. âGood. Iâll leave the two of you to coordinate your schedules. See you next class, Mr. Yoon.âÂ
The formality of calling students by their family names nearly makes you roll your eyes. Itâs only when you note the glint in Jeonghanâs eyes that you catch yourself. The two of you say your goodbyes and a silence settles in Choiâs absence.
âShould I just stop by your office hours tomorrow?â he asks when itâs clear you arenât going to say anything.Â
âSure, that works,â you say. âYou stop by most of them anyway.âÂ
âDoes it bother you that I do?â he asks, a note of something you canât detect in his tone. Maybe vulnerability.Â
That makes you soften. âNo, of course not.â
âI can back off if itâs making you uncomfortable,â he says with a forced smile. âMaybe it was too much adding my number to your phone.âÂ
âWe can talk about boundaries when I see you during office hours tomorrow,â you joke. At least it seems to bring a real smile back to his face.Â
In a strange turn of events, Jeonghan shows up to your office hours only two minutes after they start. You havenât even gotten yourself fully unpacked because you werenât expecting him to show up at the beginning. Not when he seems to show up in the latter half every other time.Â
The differences continue as you settle into the work the professor assigned the two of you. Jeonghan pulls out his proposal, something you hadnât actually seen yet, and talks you through his ideas. His idea had been to submit a design for a brand new structure built to scale entirely using Legos. Itâs ambitious in a way because the blocks only come in certain shapes and sizes. You canât just cut something down to fit the size that you need. It requires a good amount of forethought. But, for someone like Jeonghan whoâs taken to the course like a fish to water, it doesnât seem like itâs quite enough. You can see why the professor asked you to help him work through it a little bit more. It needs to be fleshed out a little further.Â
As the two of you go back and forth with ideas about how to give it an element that makes it more impressive, youâre stuck by how easy it is to work side-by-side with him. How well the two of you work together. Itâs like every visit before this has been building up to the level of comfort you have now, even if youâre still pretending that you donât really know him. Maybe you donât, though. Itâs not like he ever gives you real answers to your questions.
âWhy Legos?â you ask as the two of you are feeling stuck on where to go to expand on the proposal.Â
âBecause itâs funny to see how annoyed you get when I bring it up, so I figured it would be funny to imagine you grading my final project that has to do with Legos,â he says with that same look.
âBe serious for once, Jeonghan,â you sigh. âIâm trying to help you with this. Itâs the least you could do.âÂ
âSorry,â he says after a moment and shifts in his seat. âItâs, well, itâs just always been the way that I zone out and reset. At first, it was just when I needed a break from dealing with people because I had to focus on the instructions. Then, I started to think about how impressive it was that they were able to form these insane shapes with building blocks. Then, it started to get more elaborate with me testing out what worked and what didnât when I built my own designs.âÂ
Itâs one of the first truly real and truly honest things heâs said to you. Not hiding behind a joke or brushing off an answer. Itâs just him and you feel like that one response helps you know him better than all the hours heâs spent in your office up until that point. It also helps you realize what the proposal was missing in the first place: something personal from him.Â
Ultimately, what is going to make this project stand out is something that makes it personal. A structural engineer doesnât really need to design a building or a bridge or any other structure. They do need to design and analyze any of the support systems, though, which can be a dull job at times. Adding something more human will make it stand out. So, you suggest that Jeonghan take it a step further than just modeling a structural support system from Legos. You suggest that he set it up almost like instructions for an established set. But, instead of simple drawings to make it step by step, you suggest that he include little snippets about his previous experiences with using Legos, how he tests it to make sure he structure will hold, and any calculations he does for load capacity and gravity.Â
Initially, he seems a little unsure. Itâs easy to see that talking about things that are more personal to him, especially for a final project, is uncomfortable. After a lot of reassurances that nobody but you and Professor Choi will see it if he doesnât want them to, he finally agrees that itâs a good idea. It does seem like heâs at least excited about the prospect now, though.Â
While heâs rewriting his proposal to submit to the professor, you get back to what you had planned to do during the first part of your office hours before he showed up: grading assignments. Once again, his isnât on the stack to be graded. Out of habit, you always grade his first and some time when heâs guaranteed to not be around. Itâs oddly comfortable to work like this, grading papers while he types away on his laptop across from you.Â
Once he gets through typing up a new proposal, he asks if you would be willing to read it over. Youâre just about to suggest that he email it to you, when he just hands his laptop over. Seems unconcerned about having you his laptop. Although he watches you carefully as your eyes scan through the words, it feels like his only concern is what you think about it. Which doesnât need to be a concern at all. Itâs perfect, as far as youâre concerned.Â
You tell him as much when you look up with a smile. âI love it.â
âDonât be nice to me now,â he says nervously as you hand the laptop back over.Â
âWhat?â you ask.Â
âYou donât need to spare my feelings now when youâve been ignoring my texts,â he says like heâs trying to protect himself.Â
âSo much to unpack there and weâll return to the texts,â you say, a little exasperated. âBut, Iâm not being nice about the proposal. Itâs perfect and I genuinely canât find a single thing Iâd change. Choiâs going to love it.âÂ
âAh, well, he was right in getting your help. I wouldnât have gotten here on my own,â he admits and it does actually make you smile again.Â
âStill your idea,â you say to encourage him.
âThank you, I appreciate it,â he says and you know itâs the real him for a moment.Â
âOkay, but back to the texting,â you say to shift.
âThe boundaries chat, wonderful,â Jeonghan says, returning to his previous mask of being a menace.Â
âYou really shouldnât be going through a strangerâs phone and adding your number,â you chastise.Â
âWeâre not strangers though, are we?â he challenges. âAnd I didnât go through your phone.â
âNo?â you ask with an eyebrow raised.
âYour phone was still lit up when you left so I called myself quickly and then created a new contact, and then locked your phone and put it back,â he says like itâs the most normal sentence in the world.
âThatâs insane?â you state with a level of shock.
âI really wasnât trying to cross some sort of line,â he admits with a shocking level of sincerity. âI just really like getting to know you and I figured youâd feel weird about giving a student in your class your number, even though youâre still a student as well. So, I just wanted to make it easier. If you donât want me to have it, you can delete it right out of my phone.â
Jeonghan holds his unlocked phone out to you and itâs open to your contact. For some insane reason, you do actually believe what he said. Itâs easy to see how he might want to befriend you and be hesitant on how to do that. He strikes you as the kind of person that can put on a mask of liking to be social, but really would much rather be at home or in a small setting like in your office with you. And you do actually enjoy having him around, even if you keep trying to pretend that heâs basically a stranger to you. Heâs not wrong, either. You would have felt weird about exchanging numbers with him. Youâll never admit that to him.Â
He must see the hesitation on your face because he retracts his hand. Waits for you to say something, though. âI guess itâs not the worst thing that you have my number.âÂ
âThatâs almost a positive,â he jokes. âYou could give a guy false hope that you actually might be starting to like me.â
âOh, now I wouldnât go that far,â you quickly tack on. âWouldnât want you to get a big head.â
âHave you seen the grades Iâm getting? I already know Iâm doing something right,â he brags.Â
âI have seen your grades since Iâm usually the one grading them,â you remind him. âSo, I have to balance it out.â
âYou just wanna break my heart over and over again,â he whines.
âYouâll survive,â you deadpan.Â
Everything seems to carry on as it always does. You have to make sure youâre keeping up with all of your actual classes for your degree. Grade assignments when Professor Choi hands them off to you. Give feedback on the upcoming topics. Most importantly, you find plenty of time to disengage from all the hustle of classes. To enjoy time with friends where you can let your brain just wander onto things that donât matter nearly as much.Â
Even though you donât ever text Jeonghan first, it doesnât seem deterred because you do always answer the messages that he sends to you. Some of them are idle thoughts throughout the day. Others are questions that he wants answers to and seems to think heâs more likely to get them over text than during the hours he spends in your office. Your favorites, though, are when he texts you some wildly out of pocket statement and then gets you to debate him on it because itâs always something completely inane. Something meaningless. It gets you so fired up, though.Â
âHeâs so infuriating,â you complain as you forcely set your phone down on the couch next to you.Â
âIâm guessing weâre talking about Jeonghan,â Seungkwan says from his position on the other end of the couch.
âWhy would you immediately jump to Jeonghan?â you ask.Â
âBestie, we havenât talked about anyone else but Jeonghan all semester,â he says. You fling a pillow at your roommate.
âFirst, youâre being dramatic. And second, yes I talk about him a lot. Heâs infuriating,â you say.
âWhatever you say,â Seungkwan says dismissively.
âI might hate him,â you say.
âThey say hate sex is the best sex,â he says without taking his eyes off his phone.
âAnd they say killing your nosey roommate isnât actually a crime,â you retort.Â
Seungkwan looks up at you and smiles. âLetâs do it baby. I know the law.âÂ
âYouâve been spending too much time around Vernon,â you scoff.Â
âMaybe, but if you kill me, whoâs going to lend their ear to you and listen to your troubles?â he asks.
âVan Gogh,â you answer immediately.
âHeâs dead,â Seungkwan says with an arched eyebrow, carefully avoiding the more obvious retort.
âAnd so are you to me right now,â you say flatly.Â
âTouche,â he says with a light laugh. âWhatâs he done this time thatâs got you all pissy?â
âHeâs spent the last 20 minutes debating with me over whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich,â you say, expecting Seungkwan to think itâs just as ridiculous as you.Â
What youâre not expecting, though you should be, is for him to pick up Jeonghanâs side in the debate and make you rehash everything youâve already talked about. It sounds like such an innocuous topic. Something so outlandish that it could possibly spark debate for more than a few minutes. Yet, here you are, having the same debate all over again. It makes you even more heated despite not having a stake or opinion before Jeonghan asked you. In fact, you had never even considered the question. It was one of the most effective he had posed since he started sending you random questions or opinions like this.Â
Somehow, though, your biggest mistake is telling Jeonghan that your roommate got just as invested as he had about the topic. Worse when you told Jeonghan that Seungkwan was on his side. It made it immediately obvious that you could not ever let those two meet. It would spell an instant demise for any remaining sanity you had left. The realization that they would be instant best friends is terrifying.Â
The debate about whether or not hotdogs are sandwiches lasts all the way until the next day when Jeonghan shows up at your office hours, right at the start. The look on his face tells him that heâs about to carry on the text conversation. But, thankfully, he falls silent when you say that you actually want to get some grading done unless he actually has a question about the course material. It makes him soften, actually, and he agrees that heâll sit at the little table and work on some of his own homework. It doesnât really give the impression that heâs asking you for help, though youâre sure that you could sell it if you needed to.Â
Normally, itâs not all that distracting to have Jeonghan in your space. Probably because heâs there so often that youâre kind of used to him by now. Thatâs a thought you donât allow yourself to dwell on too long. Itâs easier to maintain the idea that you kind of hate him than to consider what your real feelings might be. Yet, those thoughts seem to be swirling in your head just by him existing in the same space as you. If heâs equally affected, then you canât tell. His fingers seem to fly across his keyboard as he works steadily on something.Â
Without warning, his voice interrupts the rhythm you finally find. âCan I ask you a question?â
âYouâve never asked permission before,â you note, but donât look up.
âI wasnât sure if it was an office hours question,â he says with a little hesitation.Â
That does get you to look over at him. âIs it about the course material?â
âNo,â he says.
âShocking,â you sigh. âWell, whatever it is, letâs have it.â
âDo you want to go out and get dinner sometime?â he asks, looking more vulnerable than usual.
Itâs enough to make your heart both constrict and threaten to beat out of your chest. Does he know that youâve been sitting here internally debating what your actual feelings towards him are? Has it been that obvious on your face?Â
âWith you?â you ask to buy yourself time.Â
âThat would be the idea, yes,â he says with a nervous chuckle.
âI donât knowâŠâ you start.
âYou donât know because youâre trying to spare my feelings? Or youâre not sure for some reason?â he asks to clarify.
Thatâs such a crossroads kind of question. Youâre not actually sure what the answer is yourself. All you know is that you feel immediate panic at the thought of one of the professors, especially Professor Choi, seeing you out with him. Itâs not that there are any rules about TAs and students dating. After all, TAs are just students themselves. But, since youâre doing most of the grading, setting some of the assignments, and even leading some of the classes, itâs frowned upon. It could give the student actually in the class some kind of perceived advantage. The thoughts just go rapidly flying through your brain as you look over at Jeonghanâs expectant face.
You decide on some version of the truth: that it doesnât matter what you think, itâs not a good idea for you to blur that line. That if someone from the university saw you out, that it could possibly jeopardize everything youâve spent years working on. That Professor Choi seems even more old school than most of the other professors. Youâve already sacrificed so much. Itâs just not a risk you think you can take.Â
What you donât say: that the question actually confuses you. That you can see yourself saying yes to finally figure out what exactly it is thatâs going on with you and Jeonghan. You wonder what type of place he would pick. Wonder what heâs like when itâs really just the two of you without the risk of someone else butting in. You wonder if maybe heâll answer all those personal questions that heâs so fond of dodging when heâs sitting in your office. It actually makes you wonder if saying yes is worth taking a risk when youâve been so careful with everything in your entire academic career. Itâs the kind of thought that really terrifies you even more. This is a man that you canât even figure out your feelings towards and yet youâre considering taking a massive risk.Â
Itâs one of the most intense office hours you hold and youâre left with more questions than answers.Â
Itâs been another exhausting day between your own classes, research, and doing work as a TA. Sure, there are definite upsides to your schedule. It helps you feel like you have a complete grasp on the material. It also helps you feel like you might be well suited to being a lecturer or even a professor yourself down the line. You also know that youâre giving more to your time as a TA than you need to. Itâs just that you donât want to leave anything to chance. The stronger the recommendation from Choi, the better.Â
When you get to your apartment, Seungkwan is in the kitchen with Vernon and Chan. Which should be a concerning sight, since none of them are exactly great cooks, but youâre too tired to really care. Youâre also kind of starving and whatever theyâre making smells good. Whatâs the worst that could happen? So you call out quick greetings before heading into your room to drop off your things and change. You reemerge to the sounds of them bickering back and forth.
âHey, do you want to try some of what weâre making?â Chan calls.
âSheâs going to say no,â Seungkwan says.
âIâm starving. Iâm down to try whatever it is,â you disagree.Â
âLooks like Chan wins this one,â Vernon teases.Â
A beep from your phone distracts you from engaging in the bickering back and forth. Itâs the last thing youâre expecting, though it shouldnât be. Ever since Jeonghan managed to get your number, and heard your half-hearted chat about boundaries, heâs been bothering you whenever he feels like it.Â
Jeonghan: have you thought about what I asked? You: no Jeonghan: donât believe you You: my answer hasnât changed Jeonghan: that it's not a good idea? You: exactly Jeonghan: thatâs not a no You: isnât it? Jeonghan: listen, I respect you and if you tell me no, I wonât ask again Jeonghan: the only thing Iâm going to ask if you actually think about it before saying no You: fine
âHello? Are you there?â Seungkwan asks, snapping his fingers in front of your face.Â
âHuh?â you ask.
âOh, sheâs gone girl,â Chan says with a laugh.
âWho were you texting?â Seungkwan asks. He gives you a look that screams heâs about to tease the shit out of you if youâre honest.
âOh, nobody important. Just a friend,â you say dismissively.Â
âAre we calling Jeonghan a friend now?â Seungkwan teases.Â
âIt wasnât Jeonghan,â you say with an eye roll.
âWhoâs Jeonghan?â Vernon asks.
âI think heâs that guy weâve been betting on when sheâs gonna finally give in and sleep with him,â Chan says in an undertone to Vernon.
âIâm not going to sleep withâŠhang on. What the fuck?â you ask, wheeling around on Seungkwan. âHave you been betting on me again?âÂ
âOnly when youâre being an idiot,â Seungkwan says with a shrug.Â
âWait, again?â Vernon asks.
âBro, we have been involved in other bets,â Chan says.
âI need new friends,â you grumble.
From there, it devolves into the usual bickering that you associate with your friend group. Sometimes you wonder how you even got so sucked into this friend group where theyâre two or three years younger than you. Youâre incredibly thankful for them, though, even in moments like this where you want to strangle them.Â
Dinner moves into watching something and playing a game. It always goes the same way. Chan or Vernon take care of picking what to watch since they watch more TV and movies than you and Seungkwan. Conversely, Seungkwan usually picks the game, which is never a good idea because he always picks something that heâs good at. It doesnât really matter to you, at least. Your brain tends to be fried from classes and research and all that. Itâs nice to let them just make the decisions and chime in when you have something to say.
Thankfully, the conversations quickly move past your friends and their complete conviction that you have feelings for Jeonghan to much less serious topics. Sitting there, though, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace even in the chaos. Even when you say that you need new friends, you know that you wouldnât trade these friends for the world.Â
Itâs been just over a week since you promised to give Jeonghanâs question actual thought. Youâre still not entirely sure why you agreed. Itâs not like youâre actually going to say anything other than no. Itâs been a little weird, though, because Jeonghan hasnât brought it up again, either. Itâs like heâs actually been true to his word. He even skipped your office hours when he would usually show up just to bother you and pretend to ask questions.Â
Since your workload has been a little light, you agree to go out for drinks with Seungkwan and some friends. Itâs a much needed night to unwind and just not think about any of the issues that plague you during the week. Itâs a night of ridiculous conversations while you all give each other a hard time about nothing that really matters. Eventually, as is always the way it goes, Seungkwan gets up and kicks off some karaoke. Itâs a blessing and a curse. Heâs got an amazing voice and you feel like you should be paying to hear someone sing that well. But, then he wants other people to join him and none of you are that keen to embarrass yourselves by following him.Â
Casting your eyes around the bar, they land on someone in a leather jacket. As you watch, he shrugs it off and sets it on the back of his chair. Thereâs something compellingly beautiful about him. He runs a hair through his short, perfectly textured black hair and turns his face slightly to the side. Youâre appreciating his profile for a second before it hits you. This isnât some stranger. Itâs Jeonghan. Itâs just that heâs clearly cut his hair and styled it differently. You quickly return your eyes to your group and only can hope that he hasnât noticed you yet. Then again, Seungkwan has been loud and singing before returning to your table. Most people seem to have noticed him. Still, since Jeonghan hasnât texted you or come over to say anything, you figure that maybe he hasnât seen you. No matter what, you down another drink to forget about checking him out.Â
By the time itâs your turn to go up to the bar and get another round of drinks, youâve mostly pushed the thought of Jeonghan out of your mind. With your back to his table, itâs been much easier to act like he doesnât exist. Once youâre at the bar, itâs a little more difficult. Your eyes find his table without even meaning to. His jacket is still there, but heâs not.Â
âLooking for me?â a soft voice asks from just beside you.Â
It makes you jump a little to realize that heâs somehow right next to you. You try your hardest to act like youâre unaffected when you turn to face him. Try to act like you didnât realize he was there. Kind of fail at that, honestly, because youâre one drink past the point of being able to pull it off. âHey, Jeonghan. How long have you been here?â
He smiles that mischievous smile that always makes him look like he knows something that you donât. âI saw you looking over at my table. You knew I was here.â
âI almost donât recognize you with the new haircut and that leather jacket,â you say and only realize your mistake a second too late.Â
âThe leather jacket back at my table?â he asks, raising an eyebrow in challenge. âI saw you checking your phone too.âÂ
âWere you watching me?â you challenge.
âYes,â he admits freely. âYouâre nice to look at.âÂ
âOh, well thatâs notâŠI didnât mean,â you stutter out, saved by the bartender setting a small tray down of drinks for you and your friends.Â
Somehow, though, because life isnât fair (and neither is Seungkwan), your best friend picks that moment to waltz over claiming he wants to help with drinks. What he really seems to want is to introduce himself to Jeonghan. Even goes as far as pretending he hasnât heard Jeonghanâs name before. Seungkwan manages to sell it better too and you think it would probably pass with anyone else that wasnât paying such sharp attention. Itâs only then that you notice Jeonghan doesnât have a drink in hand. Doesnât really seem the slightest bit drunk. Which is fine until Seungkwan manages to make it even worse by inviting Jeonghan and his friends to come join your group.Â
Then, something else thatâs kind of weird happens. Jeonghan, who has spent the entirety of the semester up until about a week ago terrorizing you, barely says anything to you at all. He talks about his favorite artists with Seungkwan. Asks Chan for suggestions on some movies that heâs recently seen. Even laughs about random ass memes with Vernon. His friends, whose names you canât even remember, fit in just as seamlessly. Itâs a littleâŠwell, uncomfortable. Itâs giving you entirely too much time to think and you donât like it.
So, you do the only reasonable thing and you keep getting drinks. Stay just on the right side of drunk so that youâre aware of your surroundings, but not sober. It makes it easier to deal with everything happening around you.
As the night continues on, your merged groups seem to ebb and flow. Some people wander over, drawn in by the fact that it seems like a fun place to be. Other times, some wander off to make new friends or have new conversations. This is especially true of Seungkwan, which youâre used to. Your roommate is one of the most social people that you know. And then people start to make their excuses to leave as it gets later. How you end up outlasting Chan is a mystery, since he seems to have endless energy. Itâs fine, though. You still have your roommate.
Well, until he tells you, without nearly the amount of shame that he should have, that heâs going to be bringing someone home that he got to talking to about karaoke. Itâs a little unlike him, at least until you realize that the person isnât a stranger. Theyâre definitely someone that Seungkwan has talked to before. It still leaves you a little lost on what to do or where to go.
âI never ask you for anything,â Seungkwan pleads. Itâs patently false. Heâs always asking you for things, just never things like this.Â
âI could text Chan or Vernon to see if theyâll let me crash on their couch,â you say, trying to quickly clear the cloudiness from your brain.Â
âDonât they put their phones into DND as soon as they get home?â Seungkwan asks.
âMy only other option is to just go home and put headphones on,â you say.
âYou could come crash at my place. My roommate wonât be back from a trip til tomorrow,â Jeonghan offers.Â
âPerfect! Thank you!â Seungkwan rushes out.
âUm? Seungkwan? You canât just send me to some stranger's house?â you protest.
âHeâs not a stranger. Heâs been in your class all semester and at your office hours nearly every day,â Seungkwan says with an eye roll. Jeonghan looks vindicated hearing this piece of information. âYouâre so dramatic.âÂ
âItâll be fine. I can sleep in his room and you can sleep in mine. Iâll even make sure you have fresh sheets if youâre worried,â he says.Â
This is definitely a bad idea. Even though youâre not drunk, youâre definitely not sober enough to pretend youâre not at least a little bit interested in Jeonghan. Everything about him seems to be a study in contrasts. Confident but not in some toxic masculinity type of way. Chaotic but serious at the same time. Silly to where he would say he joined a class because heâs good at Legos but also genuinely smart. And beautiful in a way so few men seem to be. Heâs just something entirely his own.
You shake your head because you realize youâre spacing out. This is a terrible idea and one you probably wouldnât agree to if you were sober. Itâs not like heâs actually a stranger, though. Jeonghan seems to have realized the conclusion before you open your mouth. âWhatâs the worst that could happen?â
âDangerous question,â Jeonghan says with a glint in his eyes.Â
âI love you,â Seungkwan says and wraps you up in a hug before skipping off.Â
âAre you ready to leave, then?â Jeonghan asks when itâs just the two of you.
âYeah, might as well,â you say. He nods, looking a little unsure for the first time since youâve known him and turns to grab his jacket. Says a quick goodbye to his friends and you try to ignore the looks they cast over at you.Â
âLetâs go,â he says a minute later.
âAre we calling an Uber or something?â you ask.
âIâm sober because I rode my bike here,â he says as he leads the way outside.
âIâm sorry, you rode your what?â you ask, brain slow to catch up with what heâs saying. Itâs then that you notice he didnât just grab his jacket. Heâs got a helmet as well.Â
âBike,â he says and indicates a motorcycle parked outside the bar.Â
That brings you up a little short. Itâs the last thing you would have expected when you thought of this man. Though, maybe it shouldnât have been. After all, you said he was a study in contrasts. Isnât this just another one of those?Â
Somehow, the more you look, the more it seems to suit him. Itâs not some big, clunky bike. Not what you typically think of when you think of a motorcycle. Itâs sharp and beautiful, just like he is, even if you can only admit that in your head. He pulls open a compartment that seems to be under the backseat and hands over a helmet.Â
âPromise I wonât go too fast,â he says with a softer smile than youâve seen on him before. Like heâs actually trying to reassure you.Â
Sure, itâs not the first time youâve been on a bike. Itâs just that of all the ways you could have seen this night ending, this wasnât one of them. At least youâre not feeling too self conscious as you slide onto the bike behind Jeonghan and wrap your arms around his waist. You miss the way his breath stutters as you settle in close to him. Miss the way his heart starts to beat out of his chest because youâre too focused on getting comfortable. Donât even think twice about clinging to his lean frame. But, even with the drinks, itâs hard to ignore the way that your body slots perfectly against his. Or the way your thighs squeeze against his hips. Maybe thereâs a lot more to whatever has been happening than youâve been admitting to yourself.Â
Once you reach Jeonghanâs apartment, he carefully helps you off the bike and then puts a bit of distance between you again. Itâs the first time that you notice he seems nervous, like maybe, you think, he might be reconsidering if this was a good idea. Thereâs not really much you can do about that now. You promised Seungkwan that he could have some privacy in the apartment and youâre already here. It canât possibly be so bad that you really regret coming here. It could even help you sort through the very complicated feelings that are making their presence known.Â
Inside the apartment itâs incredibly cozy. Not at all like you imagine two single guys would live while theyâre in school. Itâs not overly cluttered, but it doesnât feel cold either. Jeonghan disappears as soon as you both have your shoes off, which lets you look around at some of the decorations. He returns with a spare t-shirt and shorts for you to change into. Despite your insistence that itâs fine, he just presses them to you and indicates where the bathroom is for you to change.Â
It feels oddlyâŠcomfortable. Like this isnât the first time youâve seen him outside of class or your office. It also makes you take a little longer to change because you have to process whatever youâre feeling. Since youâre not sure exactly what to do after you change, you peek your head out into the living area. Jeonghan is setting some snacks and water out with the TV on in the background. You take it as a sign that youâre supposed to come out and join him. Momentarily, he disappears into his room and reappears also wearing more comfortable clothes.Â
The confusion only gets even worse from there. Maybe itâs just that Seungkwanâs gotten into your head. Since youâre finally processing that you might be interested in being something a little more with Jeonghan, you expect things to go a certain way. Seungkwan, and your other friends, for that matter, seem to think itâs only a matter of time before you cross over into being more than friends. Subconsciously, your brain must have latched onto that. Even wanted it, a little. But, now youâre here, and Jeonghan doesnât do anything. Heâs not the smooth, confident person that youâve gotten to know over the course of the semester. He doesnât try to pull any moves on you. Just makes sure that youâre comfortable, that you like the snacks, and that you like the show he has on.
It all feels like itâs a little too much and so Jeonghan shows you the way to his bedroom. Your nerves feel frayed because surely, this is the moment where things finally shift. Surely this is when he makes whatever move heâs held off on making up until this point. Quickly, you brush off the need to change the sheets. Itâs not like itâs that big of a deal if something else happens. Without giving your brain a chance to overthink it, you lean in to give him a hug. His whole body tenses for a second and youâre about to pull away, when he finally relaxes and wraps his arms around you.
âYou know, you can just sleep in your own bed,â you offer carefully.
âI donât want you to be uncomfortable,â he says through an emotion that you canât place.Â
âI wonât be. Plus, Iâd hate to force you into your roommateâs bed,â you suggest again, meeting his eye to reinforce the point.
âOh, well, itâsâŠâ he starts, eyes avoiding your gaze.
âReally, Jeonghan, itâs fine. Your bed is big,â you say.
âOkay,â he agrees and walks to the other side of the bed.
Itâs confusing, to say the least. He slides into the opposite side of the bed without meeting your eyes again. Youâre not exactly sure how to give him another sign that you want something else to happen without making it too obvious, especially because itâs not clear if he wants that. The guy constantly in your office was just on the right side of flirty. Always trying to wear you down. This Jeonghan in his apartment is much quieter, more reserved. Like heâs not really sure what happens now that heâs gotten you outside of school like he claims heâs wanted.Â
âDâyou usually sleep with the TV on?â he asks and you pull a face.
âIâm not a psycho,â you snort.Â
âGood to know after I let you into my apartment,â he jokes back and turns on the TV anyway. âIâll set a timer just in case we both fall asleep.âÂ
Confusing. Youâre laying in bed with this person that up until tonight you referred to as basically a stranger and thereâs justâŠnothing happening. The two of you are plenty close enough that you could brush up against him, yet not touching at all. His attention seems to stay forward on the TV. Occasionally, he shifts to get more comfortable, but he doesnât get onto his phone or even really look over at you.Â
Thankfully, the bed is comfortable and without even realizing it, you drift off to sleep laying on your side, facing Jeonghan. The last thing you remember is looking up at his face. Appreciating the cut of his jaw and the way the light from the TV threw his features into contrast. Then nothing but the easiest sleep youâve had after a night of drinking.
In the morning, when itâs too early to wake up after a late night but late enough that the sun seeps through the curtains, you have a momentary panic wondering where you are. Slowly, the night before settles back into your brain and you relax into the bed. Itâs only when you feel a weight around your middle that you wonder if everything is coming back. It is, though. You think back to the last things you remember before falling asleep. Jeonghan was safely on his side of the bed. Now, his arm is draped over your waist and heâs breathing rhythmically like heâs still fast asleep. For once, instead of overthinking it, you just slow your brain back down and drift back into sleep. After all, this is one the right path to what you wanted the night before.Â
The sun is fully up when you wake up again if the light streaming around the curtains is any indication. Thatâs not the only difference, either. Thereâs no weight around your waist and, when you look over your shoulder, the other side of the bed is empty. Which isnât entirely surprising when your phone tells you that itâs nearly noon. Itâs very unlike you to sleep in that late, but it makes sense. Youâre just thankful that Jeonghan insisted on giving you so much water and something to make sure you didnât wake up with a headache. Even though youâre still a little tired, youâre not hungover and that feels like a miracle.Â
But, what do you do now? Nothing happened last night, despite genuinely feeling like Jeonghan had some level of interest in you. But, then he did share the bed with you and curl up to you during the night. Maybe that was his subconscious way of showing what he couldnât say. Youâre out of the bed and nearly out the bedroom door when you hear voices drifting in from somewhere else in the apartment. Voices, plural. One is clearly Jeonghan, but the other sounds female and that stops you in your tracks.Â
The decision is immediate once you hear the second voice laughing at something Jeonghan says. You open your group chat with Seungkwan, Chan, and Vernon to ask if any of them are around to pick you up. Chan is the first, and fastest, to respond, saying to drop your location and heâll be out the door to get you in a minute without any questions asked. Thatâs more than youâre expecting and youâre incredibly thankful. Makes it feel like one weight has been lighted as you quickly and quietly get dressed back into the clothes you wore the night before.Â
Chan texts you to let you know heâs only a few minutes out. Thatâs your queue to actually leave the bedroom and make an appearance out in the rest of the apartment. Jeonghanâs back is to you and it looks like heâs got a cup of coffee next to him. The other person you heard from the bedroom is, in fact, a woman. Sheâs stunning in an effortless way that actually makes your head hurt a little bit. It has absolutely nothing to do with the drinks the night before, either. Her eyes land on you and thereâs a smile you canât place. It could be saying that she knows she won, despite whatever effort you made. Something on her face must tip Jeonghan off because he turns around.
And itâs worse than you thought, immediately. The smile on his face is both welcoming and soft, like heâs actually happy to see you. It only makes the whole thing more confusing. Why is he looking at you like that with one of the most beautiful people sitting across from him?Â
âYouâre awake,â he says, still smiling. âI hope Hana here didnât make too much noise.âÂ
âSorry, babe, I only have one volume setting,â she, Hana, apparently, says with another smile you canât place.Â
âDo you want coffee? Something to eat?â Jeonghan says and starts to get out of his chair.
âNo, no, itâs fine. My friend is almost here to pick me up. Thanks for letting me crash last night,â you say without fully meeting Jeonghanâs eyes. It means you miss the confusion that settles in there.
Without a backward glance, youâre out the door and down the elevator. Itâs only another minute or so before Chan pulls up, shockingly by himself, and smiles softly at you as you get into his car. All he asks is if youâre hungry and then starts navigating to your favorite place to get breakfast food thatâs open at least into the early afternoon. Itâs exactly what you need right now.Â
Chan lets you just be in your head while he drives with music playing softly in the background. It might be a dangerous decision, honestly. All you can think about are reasons for that person, Hana, your brain supplies automatically, to be in Jeonghanâs apartment like that. His roommate wasnât home, to the best of your knowledge, so that means she was there for Jeonghan. Was that his girlfriend? Was that why he was so reluctant to do anything the night before? On some level, you do know thatâs probably not the right answer. The rational part of your brain knows that he wouldnât be so calm if that was his girlfriend. Thereâs no space in your brain for rationality right now, though. So, youâre going to stew in the feelings that she could be dating someone.Â
âDo you wanna talk about whatever happened last night?â Chan asks once youâre sitting opposite of each other in a booth.Â
âNot really,â you say. âNothing happened last night, though. So, you donât have to worry about whoever wins the bet.âÂ
âIâm not worried about some stupid bet. Iâm worried about you,â he says.Â
You shrug. âI think I might actually like him.â
âNo shit,â Chan says with a knowing smile.
âYou didnât let me finish. I think I might like him and I donât think it matters,â you say.
âStart at the beginning and weâll figure this out together.âÂ
Itâs been a week since whatever happened at Jeonghanâs apartment and you havenât spoken a word to him since leaving. Not that he hasnât tried to speak to you. After breakfast with Chan, you realized you had both texts and missed calls from Jeonghan trying to figure out what went wrong. Those stay unanswered. Even if youâre being stupid, you canât really bring yourself to behave in a different way. When the next class comes around, you avoid his eyes as much as possible. The one or two times you do look over at him, he looks incredibly hurt and confused. Itâs funny, you think, how heâs the one thatâs acting put out by this whole situation when youâre the one who had to wake up to some other woman in his apartment without understanding anything.Â
That leads to your first office hours. Thankfully, Jeonghan doesnât show up to those like he normally would. The office feels a lot quieter, even though other students stop by to ask questions. It just all feels very professional and detached. Not comfortable in the way it does when he drops by. Itâs hard to admit, even to yourself, that you had gotten used to having him around. That you even looked forward to it. Somehow, youâre not really sure how, Jeonghan became one of your favorite parts of every day you saw him. That realization makes you want to crawl into your bed and hide forever. No matter what, it doesnât feel like youâll have the option to go back to that. It sucks to realize it just took you too long to come to the very obvious conclusion.Â
Now, at least, itâs the weekend again so you have a short reprieve from all things school related. Well, all things Jeonghan related because you still have your own homework to handle, assignments to grade, and a new week to prepare for. At the very least, you deserve a little bit of a treat. Texting the group chat makes you realize, though, that a lot of your friends seem to have their own things going on.Â
Seungkwan is out spending the day with the same person that he brought home last weekend. They seem like theyâre really enjoying getting to know each other, which youâre rooting for wholeheartedly. You want your roommate and best friend to be happy. Vernon is kind of vague saying that heâs got other plans. With anyone else, you might think that heâs also seeing someone. You just know that he tends to be a little spacy when it comes to sharing plans. Knowing Vernon, heâs probably just off with some friend of his. Once again, Chan comes through and says that he could really use a coffee. Apparently, thereâs some new cafe by him that heâs been wanting to try out. It feels like an excuse because Chan will absolutely go anywhere by himself, but you take it all the same. Heâs actually probably the easiest of your friends to speak to about this, even if heâs younger than you are.Â
One sip into your drink proves that this is the best decision for a Saturday afternoon. Chan chatters away about the things that have been going on in his life. Heâs taking more dance classes in every free moment he has and itâs nice to see the way his face lights up talking about it. He certainly seems happier than any time you see him talking about his actual classes. Think about suggesting he give up one thing to pursue something else that would truly make him happy. His face is different when heâs happy like this. It makes it obvious how strained he feels with everything else.
A laugh pierces through the crowd and it gives you the worst sense of deja vu. Suddenly, youâre back in Jeonghanâs apartment. Which is crazy, right? What are the odds that he and the mystery woman are in this same coffee shop at the same time as you and Chan?
Not impossible, apparently. Well, at least in part. Your eyes cast around for the source of the laugh when they land on the mystery woman sitting with someone else that you donât recognize. Your brain tries to stutter over the name before it forces you to think, Hana. Just as youâre about to look away, her eyes find yours like she could sense someone looking at her. She flashes a smile, which you try to return, before looking back at Chan and whatever story heâs sharing.Â
That should be it. Except, when she appears by your side a moment later, you realize itâs not. She has someone else youâve never seen in tow behind her. Chan, not always as quick on the uptake, looks up at her in confusion.
âHey, I wasnât sure if you remembered meâŠâ she begins and youâre quick to answer.
âI do, yeah. Sorry about the other day,â you say. Chanâs face has a look of dawning comprehension.Â
âNo, no, itâs fine. Iâm sorry if I did something to offend you. I didnât even catch your name,â Hana says and you open your mouth to share before she cuts you off with a wave of her hand. âNo, Jeonghan told me. Heâs done nothing but speak about you for weeks now.â
âAnd I thought I could be annoying,â the mystery person says from behind Hana.
âOh, Iâm so rude. This is my boyfriend, Joshua,â Hana introduces and your brain short circuits. What? Boyfriend?
âAnd Jeonghanâs roommate. I hit traffic coming back last weekend or I wouldâve been there to meet you as well. Make the morning even more awkward,â he jokes.
âIâm sorry,â you say, rapidly trying to make your brain connect. âYou two are dating?â
âYup!â Hana says with a smile and then notices your face. âWait, what did you think? That I was dating Jeonghan?â
âOh, well, I donât know. I just thoughtâŠit was still early-ish in the day andâŠâ you stumble awkwardly.Â
âBabe, no. Jeonghan is very single. I was just early getting there because Joshua hit traffic and I was excited to see him,â she says. âHe will kill me for saying this, but he hasnât talked about anyone but you since the class started.â
âPlease note that I had no part in spilling the beans. I have to live with him,â Joshua jokes.Â
âAnd just so thereâs no more confusion, Iâm one of her closest friends, Chan. Not a boyfriend or date or anything like that,â Chan says.Â
âOh!â Hana says and turns to Joshua. âJeonghan was mentioning him, remember? There was a movie we were supposed to watch.âÂ
âYeah, he did mention that,â Joshua agrees.
âAnyway, Iâm sure you have lots to think about, but Iâm nosy and I figured Iâd say hi. Have a good weekend!â Hana says, full of more energy than anyone should have on the weekend. Joshua gives a smile and follows her out of the shop.
As soon as theyâre out of sight, you drop your head into your hands. All that worrying and you could have just talked to him. Could have avoided this whole idiotic situation.Â
âFeeling kinda dumb right now?â Chan asks. You raise your head to glare at him. âI did say it didnât seem like he was seeing someone.âÂ
âNot the time, Chan,â you say.
âItâs completely the time. Look, yeah you fucked up by not just talking to him. But, you admitted that you liked him. He clearly likes you. Just talk to him. Iâm sure you can fix it,â he says.Â
âI donât know,â you start. âI was such an asshole.âÂ
âI mean, yeah, you kind of were. But, he spent that whole night after Seungkwan invited them over getting to know your friends. Genuinely interested in everything we said. Heâs not doing that just to make more friends. He wants to show you that he can fit into your life without anything really having to change,â Chan reasons and it brings you up short.
âWhen did you get so smart?â you question.
âIâve always been smart, you just treat me like a baby,â he says with an eye roll.
âYou are the baby in this friend group,â you point out.Â
âJust go figure out how to make it up to him,â Chan says.Â
Even though you know it was a terrible miscommunication, youâre not sure how to approach Jeonghan for the rest of the weekend. Youâre also not sure how the conversation will go. So, despite knowing better, you decide to just take your time. Get yourself completely set for the coming week and figure that youâll see Jeonghan during the next class. As much as you want resolution, you donât feel like it would be enough for you to text him and ask to talk. That could also be taken wildly out of context.
So, you prepare for the next class. Make sure you look a little cuter than you normally would for class. Go over what youâre going to say with both Seungkwan and Chan, whoâs gotten incredibly invested in the whole situation. Itâs another class where youâll just be sitting in the back and listening, which might also make it easier. Youâre a little early getting there so that you can set all your things down.Â
But, then the class starts to fill in and you donât see Jeonghan. Professor Choi closes the door, doesnât comment on Jeonghanâs absence, and just starts teaching. Itâs unusual. He normally takes attendance. Instead, he does a head count of the students and gets on with teaching. Everyone else is there. Jeonghan is the only one missing. You figure that maybe he reached out about missing the class. It leaves a weird feeling in your stomach, though, because you wonder if heâs okay. What if something happened to him?Â
At the end of class, you join Choi at the front as you do on every other occasion. The answer comes immediately when Choi looks up at you. âMr. Yoon emailed me before the class to say that he was feeling very sick and wouldnât be able to make it. I assured him you would send over some notes on the subject matter today.âÂ
You try to avoid any relief that you feel at knowing itâs at least nothing that serious. It sucks that heâs sick, but at least he wasnât in an accident or anything. You need to stop going to the worst case scenario, honestly. âOh, sure. Iâm sure heâs already ahead on the material, but Iâll send it over.â
âHeâs such a good student,â Choi agrees. âThank you for helping him with the proposal. Iâm not sure if you read it over, but itâs exactly what I was looking for.â
âI did read it because he wrote it during my office hours. But, it was all him,â you say.Â
Professor Choi looks up at you like he knows thatâs not entirely true. âI can feel your influence on it. In a good way, of course. You have a habit of helping people get to their best results.â
âThank you,â you say earnestly. Itâs the most genuine compliment heâs ever given you. He reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a folder to hand to you. âDid I miss picking up an assignment to grade?â
âNo,â he says with a smile youâre not used to seeing. âThis is your letter for the recommendation packet. I already sent it in, but I thought you might like to see a copy.â
âThank you so much, Professor Choi,â you say with a relieved sigh.Â
âYouâre incredibly bright, probably one of the brightest students Iâve ever taught,â he says and it takes you completely by surprise. âI know itâs probably seemed like Iâve been hard on you because I have been. I knew there was even more potential in you waiting to be coaxed out. I also know I made it much easier on John to ask for a recommendation. But, between you and I, your letter is much more complimentary and personal than his was. I canât wait to see what you accomplish.âÂ
It all suddenly makes sense. Everything that Choi has put you through since asking for his letter. It almost makes you laugh. âIâm sorry for doubting your motives for asking me to TA this class.â
Now, Professor Choi does actually laugh. âOh, no need to apologize for that. Itâs much easier to get the most out of a student when they think they have something to prove.â
âYou may be onto something,â you agree.
âIâll see you next class,â he says and closes up his briefcase to head off.
With that bit of good news, you feel a lot lighter. You almost donât even need to read the letter (though, you definitely will later). Itâs enough to know that your entire future is still open ahead of you. It makes all of the miscommunication with Jeonghan feel incredibly silly. It also makes you feel a little bolder. So, you figure that you still have the location for Jeonghanâs apartment dropped in a group chat. Why not get him some food and medicine to help him feel better? Itâll give you a chance to apologize for how youâve handled everything up until this point.Â
That idea seems a little poorly thought out when you show up at Jeonghanâs apartment with soup and medication. He answers the door, looking completely fine healthwise and confused to see you standing on the other side of the door.Â
âProfessor Choi said you were really sick so I figured Iâd bring some soup to help you feel better,â you offer, holding up the bag to show him.Â
âWhy are you here?â he asks. Thereâs none of the normal warmth.
âI was worried about you,â you admit.
He sighs and leans against the doorframe without letting you in. âI canât do these mind games.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â you say immediately. âI know I messed up really badly. I owe you an apology.âÂ
âYou might as well come in,â Jeonghan says and steps aside. âSoup does also sound good. Itâs cold out.âÂ
âRight, here,â you say and hand it over to him.
âIs there enough for you to eat with me?â he asks and takes the bag. âOh, it looks like it. Wanna join me? And you can try to explain whatâs been going on?âÂ
âSure,â you agree.
Itâs mostly silent as Jeonghan heats up the soup and puts it into two bowls for you to enjoy it with him. He sets the bowls at the kitchen table and also sets some drinks down for you. The two of you take a few sips first before you venture to explain whatâs been going on.
âIâm really sorry, Jeonghan,â you say.
âSo youâve said,â he comments. Heâs not going to make this easy on you.
âThat whole night when I stayed here wasnât exactly what I signed up for,â you admit. He opens his mouth, but you wave him off. âLet me try to get this out. You were so kind and caring to me when you brought me back here. Then, I was kind of expecting something to happen and nothing didâŠâ
âBecause you had been drinking. I wasnât just gonna be like hey, letâs jump into bed when your mind wasnât fully clear,â he says with a scoff.Â
âThatâs fair. I get that,â you acknowledge. âThen, I donât know. I saw Hana sitting out here with you the next day and I just kinda freaked out. I had realized that I might actually like you and hereâs this beautiful person in your apartment for who knows what reason. I worried she was your girlfriend or something.â
He snorts a little derisively at that. âThat would be kinda shitty to share a bed with you and then let you walk out to find me with a girlfriend. Sheâs not, by the way. Sheâs my roommate Joshuaâs girlfriend.â
âYeah, I know. I ran into her and Joshua while I was getting coffee over the weekend,â you admit sheepishly. This seems to surprise him.
âYou met Joshua?â he asks.Â
âThey didnât tell you?â you ask in return and he shakes his head. âProbably because Hana told me that Iâm the only one youâve talked about since starting the class.âÂ
âI wouldnât have even cared if I had an answer to why you started ignoring me,â he says.Â
âI got a bit scared,â you say softly.Â
âThat doesnât mean you shouldnât just speak to me,â he insists.
âI know that. I really am sorry, thatâs all I can say,â you offer.Â
âWell that and you can tell me that you do actually like me. Not that you might like me or something else vague,â he says with a glint to his eyes.Â
âYou areâŠinfuriating,â you say with a laugh. âYouâre beautiful and smart and funny and impossibly kind. You make me want to pull out my hair at least once a dayâŠâ
âDonât do that. You have nice hair,â he interjects.
âBut, yes, Iâm trying not to be scared anymore. So yeah, I do like you,â you say.
âWhat about being the TA for my class?â he asks and you shrug.Â
âThe class will end eventually,â you say.Â
âDoes this count as our first date, then?â he asks like the true demon he is.Â
âOnly if you plan something else for our second date,â you concede.
âDeal,â he agrees.Â
Everything feels a little bit easier after that. A little bit lighter. Like you actually can breathe for the first time all semester. You tell Jeonghan about the letter and he suggests that you read it right then with him. It makes sense, in a way. Working with Jeonghan has brought out exactly the side to you that Choi wanted to see. It feels like this is kind of his win as well, even though he didnât realize it. It also feels a little less overwhelming to read it with him by your side. (Itâs a rave. Way better than anything you could have dared to hope for and better than any other letter written by him that youâve read. Everything feels worth it and like it falls into place.)
Now that the awkwardness is out of the way, Jeonghan shares that he wasnât actually sick, which you already know. Itâs obvious looking at him that he feels fine. It does surprise you a bit that he admits to avoiding you to give himself time to process, though. Then he moves onto talking about Joshua and Hana, grumbling that they hadnât told him about running into you after you relay the entire conversation. Even goes as far as to say that he would have come to class so that you could have figured all of this out. Instead, he admits telling Joshua about the plan to skip. Thatâs why Joshua isnât there, though. He claimed he was going to give Jeonghan his space to work through whatever he was feeling and spend the night at Hanaâs. You make a mental note to thank Joshua for that.Â
âHow early is your day tomorrow? Do you want to stay and watch a movie or something?â he asks a little awkwardly when you finish your soup.
âNot that early,â you answer easily. âA movie sounds good, but can we watch something in your room? I feel like laying in bed and being lazy.â
âOh, uh, sure,â he says.
âWe donât have to,â you say quickly.
âCan I say something thatâs really gonna make me lookâŠnot cool?â he asks.Â
âSure,â you say curiously.
âYou make me a little nervous,â he admits.Â
That completely surprises you. Nothing about Jeonghan really seems anything short of confident in everything that he does. Itâs kind of nice to see him falter. All you do is hold out a hand to him. âItâs okay, thereâs nothing to be nervous about.â
He takes your hand easily and lets you lead him into his own bedroom. Seems very content to let you just set the pace of whatâs happening. So, you settle on top of his covers and he hands you the remote. Itâs nice to get to control whatâs on the TV for a change, even if youâre not really paying much attention to it. Jeonghan is a little stiff against his headboard as you try to settle into his body.Â
âIs it okay if I lean against you like this?â you ask, suddenly worrying this is too much.
âOf course,â he says after a moment.Â
âYou can tell me ifâŠâ you start.
âNo,â he says firmly. âNo, Iâve been thinking about this since the last time I had you in my bed.â
âJust since then?â you tease.
âNo, it was definitely before then, but Iâve already lost a lot of cool points,â he says.
âI donât want to possibly misread the signs, but are you okay withâŠâ you start, once again, before he cuts you off.
âI am fine with absolutely anything you want to give me,â he says and you wish you could see his face. Wonder if heâs blushing.
âAnd if thatâs just a cuddle?â you test.
âFine,â he says.
âOr if itâs a kiss?â you ask and feel the breath he takes. âOr what about if itâs a lot more than a kiss?âÂ
He takes another beat. His voice sounds a bit strained when he speaks. âDefinitely more than just fine.âÂ
Thatâs really all the confirmation that you need. Making sure youâre on the same page is important and getting this kind of consent makes it easier to relax. You settle further back into his chest and pull his arm around you, let one of your own arms drape across his lap. It feels like it might be easier for him to settle that way. So that you canât see his face and he doesnât have to worry about losing any more cool points. Not that those really matter with you anyway. More than anything, itâs entertaining to see the way this constantly confident, perpetual pain in the ass gets so tongue-tied now that heâs getting what he wants.Â
The more time goes by, the more he seems to relax a little more into whatâs happening around him. His fingers absently run along your arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. He leans his head down to meet yours and you could swear his lips press the lightest kiss into your hair. His entire presence is a little overwhelming. And he smells amazing. Itâs such a unique scent that you canât place. Something light, airy, and delicate. Something that seems to perfectly suit him. It might be your new favorite scent.Â
Nothing about the TV show is keeping your attention. It feels like little more than a precursor to what you both know is coming. But, Jeonghan doesnât make the first move beyond the contact his fingers make with your arm. The first actual move seems like it might belong to you, which is actually kind of exciting. Itâs a bit thrilling to know that youâre going to be in charge with this man whoâs done nothing but send every one of your senses into overdrive. Itâs nice to know that he doesnât need to be in control of everything.Â
Almost as if youâre testing the water, you run your hand across his lap, careful to go slowly. He stops breathing for a second as he seems to wait to see what youâll do next. It prompts you to run your hand back and forth a few more times, not bothering to move on from the subtle imprint of his dick through his sweatpants. Everything about him stills: his hand freezes on your arm, he doesnât fidget, and his breathing is incredibly shallow. He starts to get noticeably harder underneath your hand while you keep your eyes trained forward, even though you have no idea whatâs going on in whatever show you picked as background noise. Thereâs something strangely intimate about this in the way it feels a little innocent.Â
Finally, when he starts to moan a little with each motion, you pull your hand away. Delight in the way he actually whimpers at the loss of contact. Itâs time to actually face him so that you can see what youâre doing to him. Repositioning yourself, you see the look on his face. Heâs a little flushed just from the attention and his eyes are wide. Waiting. All heâs doing is waiting to let you set what happens next, like he canât really believe that this is happening after so much time. It is, though.Â
You run a hand through his hair and marvel at how soft it is when it looks perfectly styled. Either his hair just looks like that or heâs got the best products in the world. Neither feels fair when heâs already this stunningly beautiful. Gently, you lean forward to press your lips against his. Let your hand tangle in his hair as you anchor yourself to him. The kiss is at complete odds with you slowly rubbing him through his pants. Thereâs a little bit of desperation and youâre not even sure which of you itâs coming from. All you know for sure is that his lips are so soft that they feel like clouds and he doesnât even fight you for control when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just meets whatever pace you set. He really is happy with whatever you give him.Â
Your free hand winds down his body and doesnât waste any time slipping into the waistband of his pants. When your hand wraps around his cock, he tries to pull away from the kiss, but you donât let him. The moan that comes from you running your thumb over his tip gets caught up in your lips. You pull your hand out just long enough to spit into your palm and return it to the inside of his pants. Jeonghan does break the kiss when your hand wraps around his cock and strokes the first time, a hiss coming out of his mouth.Â
âAre you still sure youâre okay?â you ask, but itâs almost more of a tease.Â
âFuck,â he hisses out. âPlease donât stop. Please.â
Hearing him nearly begging like that is the sweetest sound youâve ever heard. Never could you have imagined you would have this man like putty beneath your hands. Itâs going to your head a little bit and then it hits you. You wonder if you can make him come just like this. Wonder how that would feel to have that kind of power over him.Â
So, you do the only logical thing, and decide to test it out. You kiss him again, fierce and messy and desperate. Keep a steady rhythm of stroking him. Heâs a squirming, writhing mess under your touch and itâs like he doesnât even remember what to do with his hands. Itâs actually turning you on as well to know that he wants you this bad. That nothing more than your lips and his touch are going to send him over the edge. Itâs obvious when he starts getting close because he works harder to break the kiss. Canât seem to catch his breath. You take a little pity on him and kiss across his jaw. Even pull away to watch him as he squeezes his eyes shut.
âYouâre gonna make me come,â he whimpers.
âSo come,â you direct.
âI canât come in my pants like a fucking teenager,â he protests. âPlease, Iâm beggingâŠâ
âI want you to come for me, Jeonghan. Right now. Exactly like this. Come for me and show me how desperate youâve been to have my hands on your cock,â you instruct.
âFuck,â he draws out. âFuck, I canâtâŠIâm gonnaâŠâ
His release comes almost out of nowhere, so hard and heavy that it coats your hand as you continue to stroke him through the release, coaxing every last bit from him. Once heâs spent, he collapses back against the headboard of the bed and you see any tension drain from his body. You pull your hand from inside his pants and wipe it off on them. Thankfully, he doesnât even seem to protest.Â
While his breathing steadies, you shift and get off of the bed. He slowly opens his eyes and tracks your movement. Only swallows a little hard when you start to undress without taking your eyes off him. Sometimes, this part makes you a little self conscious. Itâs much easier now, though, knowing you had just made Jeonghan come in his pants. Thatâs an ego boost you never expected to get. His breath stutters when you even remove your bra and panties, leaving yourself completely exposed before him. His eyes go somehow even wider when you get back onto the bed and position yourself in front of him. He reaches out to touch you, but you slap his hand away.
âOh, no, no,â you chastise softly. âNo, my little demon, you are going to watch now.â
âWatch?â he asks.Â
âYes, watch,â you confirm and study his face. âDonât you want to watch me get myself off? Donât you want to watch me show you exactly what it is that I like?âÂ
âF-fuck thatâsâŠwow,â he stutters out.Â
You lean back, using one hand behind you on the bed to brace yourself. You spread your legs open to show him the way your pussy already glistens a little. The kissing and the feel of bringing him over the edge like that really turned you on. Itâs a little bit of a first for you. Running a finger up your entrance, you collect some of the wetness there. Do it once more for good measure. And then, still emboldened by whatâs happened so far, you reach forward to hold your finger out to Jeonghan. Let it run along his lip until he takes it into his mouth and tastes you.Â
âFuck, youâre soâŠjust, fuck,â he hisses. âCan IâŠâ
âNo,â you say and cut him off, pulling your finger back.Â
Now that youâve had a taste of him begging for something, you want to drive him to that again. Want to get him so turned on that he canât even see straight. You slowly tease at your entrance and watch the way his eyes track each movement. When you use your free hand to play with one of your nipples, he seems like he canât really figure out where to look. Then, you slide one finger into your pussy and itâs like he canât see to take his eyes off the motion. You moan, even though itâs nowhere near enough of a stretch, and increase the rhythm. Quickly add another finger and start to fuck yourself just the way you like. Just the way you would when you want to draw out your release a little more than using a toy. You slide your free hand down your body and use it to rub small circles on your clit. Somewhere, the thought of Jeonghan watching you becomes a little secondary. Itâs incredibly sexy to know that heâs just watching, but youâre also invested in your own high. You want to do this for yourself as much as to show Jeonghan. Canât possibly realize that Jeonghan is even more turned on knowing that youâre so lost to your own passion.Â
The orgasm washes over you more suddenly than youâre expecting and it takes a moment to catch your breath. It takes another moment to realize that Jeonghan has undressed himself while you were lost in your own world. He isnât touching himself though and you canât figure out if heâs still sensitive or just waiting for your permission. Itâs hard to avoid the realization that every part of him is beautiful. His body is all lean lines, not overly muscular, yet still looks strong. Even his cock is kind of beautiful in a way, which isnât fair. Itâs not surprising, though.Â
âThat was one of the sexiest things Iâve ever seen,â he admits, a little breathless.Â
âDâyou think you can make me come as well?â you tease. âWant to feel my pussy squeeze around you?âÂ
He nods immediately and it makes you laugh a little. âI know I can. I wantâŠâÂ
âTo taste me?â you offer and his eyes go dark with lust.Â
âCan I?â he asks. âCan I actually get a taste? Just your finger wasnât really enough.âÂ
âI want to see what that mouth can do when itâs not talking a mile a minute,â you say. âI hope youâre just as good with your tongue.â
Itâs obvious that this catches him a little off guard that youâre so confident now with him. So easily fall into telling him exactly what you want him to do. But, youâre very curious to see what his skills are like. The two of you reposition so that he can settle between your legs. His eyes find yours, searching, Maybe asking permission. You nod and he uses his fingers to spread your lips open. He licks up your core and mutters a quiet fuck under his breath at your lingering wetness. The breath against your core sends a slight shiver through your body.Â
After all the build up and everything, you donât really have the patience for him to go slow. So, you tangle your hand into his hair and press his head further into your cunt. Force his nose to brush against your clit. Donât really stop to consider if itâs too much for him. His moans into you seem to show that theyâre not, though. Itâs nice to just take what you need and know that heâs enjoying it just as much as you are. When you ask him (read: tell him) to add a finger, he does it without question. For someone that always seems to have a retort for everything, heâs surprisingly quiet now. Nothing piercing the quiet of the room apart from the constant stream of moans from both of you and curses from you as you get closer to your second orgasm.Â
The second one hits a lot harder than the first, a fact that you wouldnât really want to admit to Jeonghan. Itâs too obvious to hide, though. You donât even care. Jeonghanâs tongue is far better than anything you could have dreamed about. Not that you were dreaming about it. (And not that you ever got yourself off in the shower or in your bed, late at night, thinking of the annoying guy who wouldnât ever seem to leave you alone. Absolutely not.) When you open your eyes again, you find Jeonghan looking at you with awe. Thereâs nothing smug about his look. It makes your insides go even a little mushier. Itâs definitely not the time for those kinds of emotions.Â
âWow,â is all Jeonghan says.Â
âYeah,â you agree.Â
âDo you still want toâŠ? I mean, can we stillâŠâ he starts.
âJeonghan, do I make you feel that nervous?â you joke. âYou just ate me out and made me come all over your face.âÂ
He shrugs. âI just donât wanna press my luck.âÂ
âMaybe we just stop here then,â you say with a return shrug. âIâm not sure you want it enough.â
âOh, no, I definitely want it,â he disagrees.
âAre you sure?â you taunt. âSure you can handle it?âÂ
That unleashes a side of Jeonghan you havenât fully seen yet. The next moment, heâs begging you for your pussy. Begging you to show you how much he still wants you. Begging to make up for the fake that he came in his pants just at your touch. Just begging for anything and everything. He even goes as far as to say that heâll do all the work. It shouldnât be working for you. Itâs kind of lame, the way he just canât seem to stop himself from running his mouth. And, unfortunately, itâs working for you. You kiss him just to make him stop.Â
The kiss immediately turns into something desperate, but youâre not sure which one of you takes it there first. Every new bit of him you get only makes you want even more of him. Itâs kind of insane to think you werenât even sure you liked him when itâs been so easy to fall into this. Jeonghan breaks the kiss and reaches over into his nightstand for a condom. Somehow, he manages to get it on in nearly record speed, despite his nerves about everything else. He doesnât waste any time in positioning himself, either. You lie back when he spreads your legs open and seems a little drunk on the sight of you. You tap his side with your foot and he shakes his head clear of whatever he was thinking.Â
Jeonghan lines himself up at your entrance and presses his tip in. You arch your back, moaning at the initial stretch. Itâs immediately better than either of your fingers or his tongue. You wrap your legs around his waist to pull him in and it makes him snap into you in one swift movement. All you wanted was to be full and you squeeze your walls around him. Direct him to move. The two of you work together to figure out the right pace, knowing that neither of you is likely to last all that long. Youâre both a little sensitive from everything in the lead up to this moment. Still, you revel in the way that Jeonghan rolls his hips into you. Appreciate the way that he nearly pulls all the way out before snapping back into you. Moan into the sloppy kiss when your mouths crash together. Itâs hard to tell where your own whines start and his moans begin. The sounds all kind of blend together into some kind of weird harmony.Â
Where Jeonghan was incredibly vocal when he was begging, he doesnât seem to have a coherent thought to share now. Yet, his eyes never leave you. Like heâs trying to map each part of your body. Itâs too fast for him to learn what you actually like. Thatâs not what you need, not right now. What you need is to have another release, one that comes at the same time as his own. And thatâs exactly what you get when you come hard again just as you feel his thrusts stutter. A moment later, heâs coming into the condom and eventually stilling inside of you.Â
The last thing you want is to feel the loss of him inside of you, but you understand that he has to pull out. His breathing is heavy when he rolls over onto his back. Itâs clear that he doesnât want to get out of bed. That itâs a struggle. But, he gets up to dispose of the condom and you hear water running in the distance. He returns a moment later with a wet cloth and starts gently washing you without even asking. He tosses the cloth on his dresser and then collapses back on the bed next to you. Pulls you into his body without a second thought.
âI donât want to go anywhere,â you say softly while youâre nestled into him.Â
âLike I would let you leave,â he says just as softly.
âOh, the man that begs for my pussy is going to force me to stay?â you challenge.Â
You feel the way his chest slightly rumbles with laughter. âI was hoping youâd let me live for a second.â
âAfter you not letting me live since we met? Fat chance,â you answer.
âI suppose I deserved that,â he says.
âI really donât want to leave tonight, though, so hopefully you have more clothes to lend me,â you say.
âYouâre gonna have to let me move for that,â he says in return.
âWorst offer Iâve gotten all day, but fine,â you agree and allow him to disentangle from you.Â
Once he offers you some clothes, you also get up from the bed to get dressed. Try not to ogle Jeonghan too much as he does the same. He catches you, because of course he does, but surprisingly doesnât say anything. Only smiles back at you. You help him remake the bed before the two of you go back out into the living area. It occurs to you that you didnât exactly let your roommate know what you were up to before just heading straight over to see Jeonghan.
A fact that is immediately obvious when you see the texts and missed calls on your phone. Oop.
âHey,â you call out to Jeonghan. âMy roommate, Iâm sure you remember himâŠâ
âYeah, Seungkwan, right?â he asks.
âYeah, heâs freaking out because I forgot to say I was coming over here,â you say. âIâm just gonna call him really quick to let him know Iâm fine and Iâll see him tomorrow.â
âDo you want privacy?â he asks and you just laugh lightly.
âNot sure I need it,â you say and the phone is already ringing. Seungkwan answers nearly immediately.
âWhat the fuck? Are you okay?â he asks instead of saying hello.
âChill, Kwan, Iâm fine,â you answer.Â
âWhere are you? Your class ended hours ago,â he says.
âHas it been hours?â you ask with some amount of surprise.Â
âWait, where are you?â he asks again, sounding calm but skeptical now.Â
âI justâŠjust donât worry about me for the night, okay? Iâll be home tomorrow,â you say.Â
âSwitch to video, you whore,â Seungkwan says skeptically.
âDonât be a weirdo,â you retort.
âCome on! Turn on your camera!â he yells and you pull the phone away from your ear.
âFucking fine,â you grumble and press the button on your phone before holding it back up to your face.
âI KNEW IT!â he shrieks gleefully. âWhoâs shirt is that?â
âOh, well, itâsâŠâ you stall and look over at Jeonghan. Heâs already moving toward you.
âWell?â Seungkwan prompts as Jeonghan leans over behind you so his face shows in the camera.
âItâs mine,â Jeonghan answers and Seungkwan looks like Christmas came early.
âWell, hello Jeonghan,â he says.Â
âI promise to take good care of her and send her back in one piece,â Jeonghan says and Seungkwan canât contain his grin.
âKeep her as long as you like. Iâm about to be so rich,â he says, far happier than he should be.
âGoodbye Seungkwan. Iâll see you tomorrow,â you say and hang up before he can say anything.Â
Once you hang up, Jeonghan gives you an odd look. Like heâs trying to figure out what Seungkwan just said.
âDo IâŠwant to ask?â he finally asks.
You sigh. âSeungkwan started placing and taking bets about me sleeping with you as soon as I mentioned you.âÂ
âAnd when was that?â he asks, seemingly not even surprised by the bets. You internally curse.
âAfter the very first class when you mentioned you joined because you like Legos,â you admit.Â
âWe could have saved so much time,â he whines and you just shake your head.
âThis is exactly how it was supposed to go,â you disagree.
âMaybe,â he concedes. âShould we get some sleep? We can figure everything else out in the light of day.â
âSounds perfect,â you agree and follow him to bed.Â
Itâs far easier than it should be to settle into bed with him. Like youâve done it a million times before. Maybe itâs okay to allow yourself to have the things you want. Maybe this can all be as easy as attaching one block to another until you have something amazing.Â
i hope you liked it! and like i said, i'll be back to fix any spelling/grammar errors after the weekend.
taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n , @christinewithluv, @hipsdofangirl, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @lllucere, @vixensss, @soffiyuhh @aidanjoon, @hanniebub, @stormy1408, @lilifiedeans, @hyucksrealm, @joshuaslv, @tinkerbell460 (strikethrough means can't tag)
#jeonghan smut#svt smut#jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#jeonghan imagines#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan x you#svt x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan angst#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#jeonghan fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#thediamondlifenetwork#svthub#kvanity#seventeenTAcollab#ksmutsociety
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The Best News of Last Month
Sorry for being not active this month as I had some health problems. I'll start posting weekly now :) Meanwhile here's some good from last month
1. Widow donates $1 billion to medical school, giving free tuition forever
Ruth Gottesman surprised by her late husband's $1 billion in Berkshire stock, decides to donate it in full to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx, New York City's poorest borough. The donation is intended to cover students' tuition indefinitely, ensuring access to medical education for generations.
A video capturing students' emotional reactions to the news, cheering and crying, circulated after the announcement, highlighting the profound impact of the donation on the medical school community.
2. Electric school buses outperform diesel in extreme cold
In Colorado's West Grand School District, electric school buses outperformed their diesel counterparts, particularly in the bitterly cold temperatures of towns like Kremmling, where morning temperatures can drop below -30 degrees Fahrenheit. Despite common concerns about reduced range in extreme weather, the electric buses maintained their battery charge even in these frigid conditions, providing reliable transportation for students.
This success has been welcomed by the school district, as diesel vehicles also face challenges in starting in Colorado's harsh winter weather.
3. Christian Bale unveils plans to build 12 foster homes in California
Christian Bale has led a tour round the new village in California where he plans to build 12 foster homes, as well as two studio flats to help children transition into independent living, and a 7,000 sq ft community centre.
The actor has spearheaded the building of a unique complex of facilities with the aim of keeping siblings in the foster care system together, and ideally under the same roof.
4. Average lifespan of a person with Down syndrome has increased from 25 years in 1983 to 60 years today
Today the average lifespan of a person with Down syndrome is approximately 60 years.
As recently as 1983, the average lifespan of a person with Down syndrome was 25 years. The dramatic increase to 60 years is largely due to the end of the inhumane practice of institutionalizing people with Down syndrome.
5. Greece legalises same-sex marriage
Greece has become the first Christian Orthodox-majority country to legalise same-sex marriage. Same-sex couples will now also be legally allowed to adopt children after Thursday's 176-76 vote in parliament.
Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis said the new law would "boldly abolish a serious inequality".
6. Massachusetts police K9 tracks scent for over 2 miles to find missing 12-year-old in freezing cold
A Massachusetts police K9 followed her nose to help find a 12-year-old who went missing in frigid temperatures last week, tracking the childâs scent for over two miles, authorities said.
K9 Biza, a female German shepherd, was called on to help after officers learned the child left their home at around 10:30 p.m. Wednesday and was last seen in the Pakachoag Hill area of Auburn, the Auburn Police Department said.
7. Good News for the Socially Anxious: People Like You a Lot More Than You Think They Do, New Research Confirms
The "Lake Wobegon effect" or "illusory superiority" phenomenon highlights people's tendency to overestimate their abilities, but recent research suggests that in social interactions, individuals often underestimate their likability and charm.
Studies indicate that people consistently fail to recognize signals of others' liking toward them, leading to a "liking gap" where individuals believe they are less likable than they actually are.
Techniques such as focusing more on others during conversations and genuinely expressing interest in them can help alleviate social anxiety by shifting the focus away from self-criticism. Ultimately, understanding that others may also experience similar anxieties can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable social experience.
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That's it for this week :)
This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:
Buy me a coffee â€ïž
Also donât forget to reblog this post with your friends.
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8th house sign in the natal chart and what you fear â€ïžâđ©č
materialistđ
DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! đ„âš
đ„ Aries in the 8th House:
1. Fear of losing control or appearing weak in front of others.
2. Fear of taking initiative in unfamiliar situations.
3. Anxiety about asserting themselves or putting their needs first.
4. Worry about competing with others, especially when their abilities might be challenged.
5. Concern about having to do things alone without support from others.
6. Fear of not being able to maintain their usual level of confidence and independence.
đ„ Taurus in the 8th House:
1. Fear of instability, especially financial loss or material insecurity.
2. Fear of not having comfort or stability in their life.
3. Anxiety over changes that disrupt their sense of security or routine.
4. Worry about losing possessions that provide a sense of comfort or status.
5. Concern about not having access to luxury or material abundance.
6. Fear of being perceived as "lazy" or "materialistic" due to their desire for comfort.
đ„ Gemini in the 8th House:
1. Fear of being misunderstood or having their ideas dismissed.
2. Fear of communicating their thoughts, especially if they might be misunderstood.
3. Anxiety about being ignored or overlooked in important conversations.
4. Worry about not having enough mental stimulation in life, leading to boredom.
5. Concern about being seen as unreliable due to their versatile nature.
6. Fear of being labeled as "two-faced" or insincere by others.
đ„ Cancer in the 8th House:
1. Fear of emotional vulnerability or being abandoned by loved ones.
2. Anxiety about exposing deep emotions and being hurt or rejected.
3. Worry about being perceived as overly sensitive or dependent.
4. Concern about emotional betrayal or being taken advantage of.
5. Fear of losing the emotional security provided by close relationships.
6. Unease with situations that force them to confront their own emotional depth.
đ„ Leo in the 8th House:
1. Fear of being overshadowed or not receiving recognition.
2. Fear of not receiving the attention they desire or being forgotten by others.
3. Anxiety about not getting validation from others for their efforts or achievements.
4. Worry about not being able to truly express themselves in a way that is appreciated.
5. Concern about not being recognized for their talents and hard work.
6. Fear of being outshined by others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
đ„ Virgo in the 8th House:
1. Fear of making mistakes or being seen as imperfect.
2. Anxiety about revealing flaws or weaknesses, especially in high-pressure situations.
3. Worry about not meeting the high standards they set for themselves or others.
4. Concern about being perceived as overly critical, which might alienate people.
5. Fear of being seen as less competent or reliable, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
6. Unease with situations where their attention to detail might be overlooked or undervalued.
đ„ Libra in the 8th House:
1. Fear of conflict, imbalance, or being judged harshly by others.
2. Fear of intimacy or being vulnerable with loved ones, leading to emotional exposure.
3. Anxiety about conflicts in relationships that disrupt harmony or balance.
4. Worry about being judged harshly for their decisions or behaviors, particularly in social settings.
5. Concern about being perceived as "rude" if they assert themselves or disagree with others.
6. Fear of not being able to maintain the peace and harmony they strive for in their relationships.
đ„ Scorpio in the 8th House:
1. Fear of betrayal, losing power, or having their secrets exposed.
2. Anxiety about losing control or being manipulated by others.
3. Worry about others uncovering their deepest fears, desires, or secrets.
4. Concern about not being able to maintain their usual level of intensity and focus and sometimes hiding their intensity because they donât know if others would accept them if they did show it.
5. Fear of emotional vulnerability, which might lead to feelings of powerlessness.
6. Unease with situations that force them to confront their own darker impulses.
đ„ Sagittarius in the 8th House:
1. Fear of being restricted, losing freedom, or facing the unknown.
2. Anxiety about being confined or trapped in situations that limit their independence.
3. Worry about not being able to explore or pursue their personal beliefs and interests.
4. Concern about being forced to conform to rules or structures that limit their autonomy.
5. Fear of losing their sense of optimism or faith in challenging circumstances.
6. Unease with situations that require commitment or settling down, which might limit their opportunities for growth.
đ„ Capricorn in the 8th House:
1. Fear of failure, losing status, or not achieving their goals.
2. Anxiety about not reaching the level of success or stability they aspire to.
3. Worry about losing their reputation or standing in society, especially in professional settings.
4. Concern about not being able to achieve the long-term goals they set for themselves.
5. Fear of being overwhelmed by responsibilities that exceed their capacity to manage.
6. Unease with situations where their sense of structure or control is threatened.
đ„ Aquarius in the 8th House:
1. Fear of conformity, losing individuality, or being rejected by society.
2. Anxiety about losing their uniqueness or being forced to conform to societal norms.
3. Worry about not being able to fully express their innovative or unconventional ideas.
4. Concern about being rejected or ostracized for their differences or their ability to try out new ways of doing things.
5. Fear of losing their sense of freedom or independence in group settings.
6. Unease with situations where they feel pressured to fit in or compromise their values.
đ„ Pisces in the 8th House:
1. Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions, losing their sense of self, or facing harsh realities.
2. Anxiety about being consumed by their own or others' emotions, leading to feelings of instability.
3. Worry about losing their sense of self or identity in relationships, especially if they become overly dependent.
4. Concern about facing harsh or unpleasant realities they'd rather avoid, leading to escapist tendencies.
5. Fear of being perceived as too sensitive or overly emotional by others.
6. Unease with situations that require them to be practical, grounded, or confront life's harsh realities.
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