#If there's a prize for rotten judgement! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lou-0111 · 19 days

Text

I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)

y/n doesnt believe in love, taylor, their best friend (who knows their view on love) tries to convince that luke would be a great boyfriend for them: bit of a long one today - 3.4k words

Love is stupid, ok? It’s pointless and there is absolutely no need for it. And no, It’s not just because I've had bad experiences, it’s the whole thing. Girls changing themselves for the boy they like. Boys being mean to people to get girls attention, the whole thing is just stupid.

If there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that

I feel like I’ve made a series of poor decisions in my life, each one heavier than the last. This pattern of regret and self-reproach feels like it’s consuming me from within. It's become almost second nature to make mistakes because I've fallen into the habit of making them, and each misstep adds to the weight of my past errors.

No man is worth the aggravation

No guy at Camp Half-Blood is worth going through that emotional turmoil again. It’s simply easier to avoid falling in love altogether. The past is full of lessons learned—the kind where you thought you'd finally moved on, only to find yourself trapped in the same old cycles. The gods had their trials, and there's no need for us to repeat their mistakes.

That's ancient history, been there, done that

This happened to the gods in the past, it shouldn't be repeating with us again

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to you

“Y/N, you have to listen to me on this.” My best friend, Taylor starts, “Luke would be the perfect boyfriend for you. First, he’s genuinely kind-hearted. It’s not just something he puts on for show—he’s consistently thoughtful and considerate in everything he does. You’ve seen it yourself, right? How he interacts with everyone around him, always making sure people are okay and that they’re feeling included.

And let’s talk about his skills—he’s an exceptional swordsman. His dedication and proficiency with a sword are impressive.

But it’s not just about physical skills. Luke is amazing with the younger campers. He’s got this natural ability to connect with them, to mentor them, and to make them feel important. He treats them with such patience and respect. You know how much that matters, seeing someone who doesn’t just see the younger kids as a burden but genuinely enjoys helping them grow.

So, don’t let your past experiences cloud your judgement about him. Luke isn’t just another face in the crowd; he’s someone who genuinely fits what you need in your life. It’s worth considering that maybe, just maybe, he could be the one who changes your perspective on love.”

Everyday, every damn day, Taylor goes on about how me and Luke would be great together. But I don’t see it. Love is stupid, Taylor is stupid for thinking I like him.

Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you (Oh, no) Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you're feelin', who you're thinkin' of

We were walking back from training one day when again, she started the whole luke chat. “Y/N, I need to be real with you here. It’s becoming impossible to ignore how you keep watching Luke. You spend hours just observing him as he trains. It's not just casual glances; you’re practically mesmerised by how he moves with such skill and focus. Every time he picks up his sword, there’s this look in your eyes that I can’t ignore.”

Excuse me? He’s the best swordsman at camp, obviously I'm going to watch him, to get pointers on how to get better, nothing else.

“And it’s not just during training. When Luke interacts with the younger campers, your attention is entirely on him. You’ve seen how he takes the time to teach them, to encourage them, and how he genuinely connects with them on their level. You watch him as he patiently helps them learn and grow, and there’s this soft, almost admiring look on your face. It’s clear that you’re moved by how he treats them with such kindness and care.” “I just think it’s sweet how he takes his time teaching them, nothing more, I'd be the same way if anyone else did what he does.”

“I know you’re trying to play it cool and act like it doesn’t matter, but let’s be honest—your feelings are showing. It’s like you’re trying to hide behind this façade that love isn’t worth it or that you’re not interested, but it’s obvious to everyone around us. We all see how your face lights up when he’s around, how you hang onto his every word and action.”

“Woah, you need to slow down, someone might hear you, my face doesn't ‘light up’ ok Tay? I’m a listener, sorry if i listen when people talk to me, I don’t like luke, never have, never will.”

Stop denying it. We can see right through you. It’s not just about admiring him from a distance; it’s about the way you light up when you talk about him or when he’s in the room. Your actions are screaming that you have feelings for him, even if you’re trying to convince yourself otherwise. It’s ok if you like him, if you’re in love, it’ll be good to put your heart out again.”

Where my heart can get hurt again. I mumble walking away. I do not like Luke.

You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Uh-oh It's too cliché (Ah-ah-ah-ah) I won't say I'm in love

Being in love feels like a foolish, unnecessary risk to me. It’s as if admitting that I’m in love would be an act of surrender, a sign of weakness. I keep telling myself that I don’t need a man to complete my life or make me happy. My independence has always been my strength, and the idea of falling for someone seems like it would undermine that strength.

I’ve managed perfectly well on my own, navigating life without relying on anyone else to validate my worth or fill a void. I’ve built my own stability and happiness through my own efforts, and I’m proud of that. The thought of opening myself up to love feels like an invitation to vulnerability and potential heartbreak, and I’m not ready to risk that.

Admitting that I’m in love would mean acknowledging that I need someone, and that’s something I’m determined to avoid. I don’t want to be in a position where my happiness depends on another person’s actions or feelings. I’ve seen how love can complicate things, how it can lead to disappointment and pain. It’s easier to stay detached and focus on myself rather than deal with the unpredictability of a romantic relationship.

I keep convincing myself that I’m better off without the emotional upheaval that love often brings. I’m self-sufficient and capable, and I don’t need anyone else to complete me or make me feel whole. Embracing love feels like it would disrupt the balance I’ve carefully created in my life. So, I put up a wall and tell myself that I’m not in love and that I don’t need a man to be content. It’s a way of protecting myself from the potential pain that comes with opening my heart.

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out (Ah) My head is screaming, "Get a grip, girl" "Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out"

I won’t put myself through that again. I’ve been burned too many times by love to let it happen once more. Each time I’ve opened my heart in the past, I’ve ended up disappointed and hurt. The cycle seems to repeat itself with every relationship I’ve been in: the initial charm and allure give way to a painful reality that shatters the illusion.

Every guy I've been with starts off presenting the best version of themselves—perfectly polished, attentive, and seemingly sincere. They act like they’re everything I’ve ever wanted, showing me a side that makes me believe in the possibility of a true connection. But as time goes on, it’s like a switch flips, and suddenly, they’re no longer the person I thought they were. The transformation happens so swiftly and so completely that it feels like a betrayal. One day, everything seems perfect, and the next, I’m left grappling with someone who’s changed overnight.

It’s as though these men wear masks, carefully crafted to win me over, only to discard them once they’ve achieved their goal. The facade falls away, revealing a reality that’s often disappointing and disheartening. I’ve come to expect that this pattern will repeat itself because it always has. Each time, my trust and hope are eroded, and it becomes harder to believe that someone can truly be genuine.

I’ve reached a point where my heart simply can’t handle any more of this emotional turbulence. The pain of investing my emotions into someone who ends up disappointing me is too much to bear. The cycle of hope and heartbreak has left me exhausted and wary. I’m trying to shield myself from further damage, to protect my heart from the predictable cycle of rising expectations followed by crushing disillusionment. The idea of putting myself through that kind of emotional rollercoaster again feels unbearable. So, I shut down, convinced that avoiding love is the best way to preserve my peace and prevent further pain.

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling (Oh, no) Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That you got, got, got it bad?

"Y/N, It’s becoming impossible for anyone who knows you to ignore the signs. Your reactions when he’s near, the way you talk about him—it all points to something deeper than just friendship or admiration. You might be trying to downplay it or act like it’s not a big deal, but everyone can see it. We all notice how you light up when he’s mentioned or how you subtly seek out opportunities to be around him.

"Well why don't you go out with him? Since you notice every small detail about him."

You’re not fooling anyone with your attempts to mask your feelings. The way you talk about him, how your mood shifts when he’s mentioned—these are all clear indicators that your feelings for Luke run deeper than you’re willing to admit. It’s written all over your face and in your actions. It’s not just a small crush or a fleeting interest; it’s something more significant, something you’re clearly struggling to acknowledge.

So why keep pretending? It’s okay to have feelings for someone, especially someone like Luke. The sooner you accept and embrace your feelings, the easier it will be to figure out what to do next. Hiding behind this facade of indifference only makes it harder for you to deal with the truth." "Taylor, I cannot keep having this convosation with you, it's getting on my nerves, please just drop it." I'm never falling in love, with anyone.

(Shoo, shoo-doo, doo-doo) No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Give up, give in Check the grin, you're in love This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love You're doin' flips (Ooh-ooh) Read our lips, you're in love

The idea of opening myself up to another relationship feels like an invitation to endure more pain. The thought of investing my emotions again, only to face the inevitable disappointment, is almost too overwhelming to consider. My heart has reached its limit; it feels battered and fragile from past letdowns. The fear of another heartbreak is paralysing, making it hard to even entertain the idea of risking my emotional well-being once more.

I want to protect myself from the cycle of hope and disillusionment that has characterised my past experiences with love. The emotional toll has been significant, and I’m desperately trying to shield myself from further damage. The prospect of enduring another emotional upheaval is daunting, and my heart simply can’t handle the strain of another potential letdown. "Y/N, I know you don't like talking about it, but I csn't help it. Why csn't you see it? We’ve all see how you blush every single time you talk about Luke. It’s not just a subtle thing—your cheeks practically light up, and there’s this undeniable warmth in your voice. It’s impossible to ignore the way your eyes sparkle when his name comes up or how your entire demeanour shifts to something more animated and bright.

And let’s not forget how you watch him during mealtimes. It’s like you’re drawn to him in a way that’s hard to miss. You’re always glancing over at him, whether he’s chatting with the others, helping out with the food, or just enjoying a moment with his friends. You might think you’re being discreet, but it’s so obvious to everyone around. The way you steal glances and the way your gaze lingers just a little too long—these aren’t things you can easily brush off.

Trying to deny your feelings for Luke doesn’t change the reality of the situation. Your reactions and behaviour make it clear to all of us what you’re trying to ignore. We see through the act of nonchalance you’re putting on. It’s not just a case of mild interest; it’s something deeper. We can tell that you’re emotionally invested, even if you’re not ready to admit it to yourself.

It’s time to face the truth about your emotions. The more you try to suppress or deny them, the more obvious it becomes to everyone around you. There’s no need to hide or pretend anymore."

Taylor says before walking off.

I keep convincing myself that nothing will come of this, and that denying my feelings will make it all go away. I’m certain that nothing will happen between us, and so I refuse to acknowledge my true emotions.

Despite my best efforts to conceal my feelings, it's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore them. I try to pretend otherwise, but my actions and reactions betray me. Deep down, I think I’m in love, but I can’t bring myself to say it.

You're way off base (Shoo-doo, shoo-doo) I won't say it (She won't say it, no) Get off my case (Sha-da, sha-da) I won't say it (Ooh-ooh-ooh)

I’m adamant about not admitting my feelings. It’s a protective mechanism to avoid vulnerability and potential heartache. I want to be left alone to keep my emotions private.

Girl, go be proud It's okay, you're in love

Admitting my feelings would mean exposing myself to the possibility of heartache, and I’m not ready to take that risk. The emotional turmoil that follows when feelings aren’t reciprocated, or when they lead to disappointment, is something I’m determined to avoid. I’ve learned from past experiences that letting my guard down can lead to deep, sometimes overwhelming pain. By keeping my feelings to myself, I maintain a sense of control and safety, shielding my heart from potential harm.

I want to be left alone to keep my emotions private because it feels like the only way to maintain my emotional stability. Sharing my feelings would mean inviting scrutiny and potentially having to navigate the complexities of another person’s reactions and responses. It’s easier to keep everything internal, to process my emotions in solitude where I can control the narrative and avoid the unpredictability of others' reactions.

This private handling of my emotions is a means of self-preservation. It’s my way of creating a barrier between myself and the risk of emotional pain. The prospect of vulnerability, of exposing my inner thoughts and feelings, is daunting and unsettling. So, I prefer to keep my emotions hidden, managing them in the confines of my own mind where I can protect myself from the uncertainty and potential hurt that comes with opening up to others.

However, Taylor did not agree with my choices.

"Listen, Y/N, it’s really important for you to understand something: it’s completely okay to embrace your feelings. Love, as complicated and intimidating as it can be, is not something to be ashamed of or to hide from.

You deserve to be happy. If you have feelings for Luke, acknowledging them doesn’t make you weak or foolish—it makes you human.

There’s no shame in being vulnerable; it’s a sign of strength and courage. It’s a step towards allowing yourself to experience love and all the happiness that can come with it.

Hiding from your feelings or pretending they don’t exist only prolongs the emotional struggle and prevents you from fully engaging with the positive aspects of life."

"Yeah, whatever Tay, I'll see you later."

She raises her eyes at me, noticing I don't tell her to shut up about the topic.

At least, out loud I won't say I'm in love

It feels ridiculous to admit that I might be in love. I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need a man to be happy and that I’m fine on my own. Declaring my feelings feels like an invitation to heartbreak, something I’ve vowed to avoid.

I do have feelings for Luke. I’ve come to realise that I am in love with him, but I can't bring myself to openly acknowledge it. I’ll keep these emotions to myself, hidden away where I can manage them privately.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll tell him?

Doubt it.

#luke castellan #pjo #luke castellan x reader #luke pjo #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #pjo series #hercules #i wont say it

59 notes · View notes

satoshy12 · 9 months

Text

Phantom x Ravager

Disney Hercules song

Phantom was a pretty loved hero in Jump City. And people actually liked him very much as he stayed behind and helped in the clean up when a fight destroyed a place. The Heroes AND villains liked Danny, and he was the one who helped Ravager with her problems. And well Rose started to like Danny as she spend time with him. ++ The big problem started as Music master had his fun in Jump City. Rose Wilson If there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that! Starfire, Raven, Dani, Jynx and Bumblebee Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of Rose Wilson

No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Starfire, Raven, Dani, Jynx and Bumblebee

You swoon, you sigh Why deny it, uh-oh ++ Robin:" They knew it the fault of a Music Meister right? " Cyborg:" I don't think they care, just look how many look. " 1 Civilian:" Why won't she just say it. " A older woman:" It's not that easy to do! " Cyborg:" We should try to find the Music Meister… " Beast Boy:" Yeah this has to stop. Because she will rage when this is done and i don't want to see how what she will do." " Many people:" Don't you dare. The girl needs help, otherwise she won't ever tell Phantom she likes him. " Robin:" Let's just be happy Phantom is of planet, otherwise this would have gone very badly."

++ After all was done Rose herself beat Music Meister very badly beat up in her embarrassed anger, the video of her singing with the Girls is number 1 in the Internet. When she is called to a Mercenery mission, she is asked to sing! Or the old ladies talk with her about boy problems and if she already have now a boyfriend!

230 notes · View notes

howlingday · 1 month

Note

Y'know what

Bleiss has had enough!

---

Bleiss: JACQUES!

Bleiss: BRING YOUR BITCH ASS OUTSIDE!

Bleiss: I WANT TO RUN THE ONES!

Jacques: On dust- On dust, I hit that bitch with a spear! Ha ha ha ha! And it wasn't even a spear! It was, like, a pillar or something!

Soldier: Sir! Did you kill a woman named Bleiss recently?!

Jacques: The black sheep bitch? Oh, hell yeah! I was just talking with everyone about her! No worries, though, she's dead and gone now-

Soldier: THAT BITCH LIVES! AND SHE MADE IT TO MANTLE!

Jacques: Stop! No, she didn't~!

Soldier: YES, IN THE FUCK SHE DID, SIR!

Jacques: Yeah? Who helped her?

Soldier: Weiss AND Ironwood gave her the Alti-Dust Blade!

Jacques: (Drops his glass) Oh fuck! Oh fuck! OH FUCK!

Jacques: Um... It's cool! Completely fine! The rest of Atlas will help me, right? (Mockingly ridiculed)

Jacques: Specialist Ebi!

Clover: Um, no? The fuck?!

Jacques: Penny?!

Penny: There's a prize for rotten judgement, and you've already won that.

Jacques: NORA?!

Nora: I'm not even in this series.

Jacques: OH FUCK!

Soldier: This black-haired bitch has been going on a rampage! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Jacques: I DIDN'T DO SHIT! I just made her kill her husband, kill her kid, and then made her think her twin sister died!

Soldier: ...YOU'RE DUMB AS FUCK!

Jacques: (Called stupid repeatedly) Oh, come on, it's not like she knows where I am now! We can just-

Bleiss: JAAACQUES! BRING YOUR BITCH ASS OUTSIDE! I WANT THE ONES!

Jacques: ...James?

Ironwood: Schnee, I don't even want to hear it. You should ask Ozpin at this point!

Jacques: Oh, come on, PLEEEASE!

--------------------------------------------------

Ironwood: This Bleiss business has me stressed like no Grimm before. Pietro, I demand... "the phones".

Ironwood: (Given headphones, Puts on) Thank you, Doct- OOOH~! OKAY~! Go ahead, Petty~!

#rwby #bleiss schnee #jacques schnee #trevohnn garner #kratos has had enough #james ironwood #clover ebi #penny polendina

40 notes · View notes

vera-deville · 1 year

Text

I Won't Say (I'm in Love)

06/20/2023 - 07/12/2023

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Word Count: 1,754

Warnings: A little bit of cursing, but that's all!

Gender: AFAB

Tags: @pyroxeene, @achy-boo, @savanaclaw1996

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

In which Y/N refuses to say that she's in love.

"Shit." Y/N hissed as she swung open the cabinet door, only to reveal that there was no white paint. Or fuschia for that matter-

"Grim!" She called loudly.

Only the Great Seven know what possessed Y/N at three in the morning to scourge through her entire dorm, trying to figure out where in Twisted Wonderland she kept her newly bought (with hard-earnt money) white paint, but it certainly had her occupied and in a frenzy trying to find it.

Reaching Grim's bed, Y/N was about to shout at him to wake up and help her find her precious white paint when the sight of Grim's unnatural peacefully sleeping self tugged at her heartstrings and she couldn't bring herself to do so.

Damn it.

Back to searching all alone she supposed.

Eventually Y/N had been searching for far too long in the early morning and somehow willed herself to try and haul herself to dreamland (key word being try).

The next morning, Y/N got herself ready earlier than usual and told Grim to head to the breakfast hall without her since she had something to do. That something should be right across this hallway and should inhabit a large crow man-child.

And she would be right. There, watching rather remorsefully down the window was Crowley, the glorious headmaster of Night Raven College (or at least he's supposed to be glorious). Clearing her throat seemed to do the trick to bring Crowley out of his strange reverie since the painfully loud screech the door made when opening didn't.

"And what can I do as the most gracious headmaster ever?"

Okay. Time to work the charms of an isekaid student.

"Headmaster! I came to you because I require a favor from you." Crowley nodded for her to continue. "I need some money for some supplies you see, and I haven't much on me."

"I'm afraid that though my generosity knows no bounds, I can't simply favor a student and give them money from the school's funds."

"Oh whatever shall I do Headmaster? I was planning on painting a stunning portrait of the brilliant man who runs this prestigious institution and-"

A wad of cash materialized in front of her.

"Thank you Headmaster~"

Walking out of the room without another word, Y/N giggled devilishly to herself about her newly earnt money. One, two, three, four, five...60 Thaumarks. Okay, not bad. What was bad was this eerie feeling she felt from specifically in front of her. Looking up ahead, she realized that she almost had walked straight ahead into a well-built chest.

A well-built chest clad in yellow satin.

Fuck-

Two vibrant green eyes accompanied with a handsome smirk looked down at her, slowly moving from the wad of cash in her hands back up to her face. Y/N's own eyes followed his trail of sight and instinctively pulled the Thaumarks closer to her chest, as though protecting them from him.

"Didn't peg you as a petty thief little Herbivore" Leona teased.

"Oh screw yourself Leona. For your information, this is hard earnt money!" (He did not need to know just how hard it was).

"Careful. You might get eaten up alive with all that money out in the open."

"I'm sure I'll be able to fend for myself. I've been doing it all this time, haven't I?"

Without letting Leona get another word in, Y/N zoomed past him, not unlike a rabbit running away from a lion. Chuckling to himself, Leona stalked off to some obscure part of the campus where he could ditch class in favor of cat naps.

If there's a prize for rotten judgement...

Y/N dashed past corridors until she got to Ramshackle and was safe from prying eyes. Slamming the door shut, she hugged the Thaumarks once again closer to her bosom, and shifted her entire weight against the now closed (and locked) doors of her dorm room.

I guess I've already won that.

Feeling the heat in her face become more insufferable, Y/N cursed the Great Seven for the predicament she found herself in. Her burning cheeks huffed and puffed, thinking about the aggravating lion beastman that had stolen her heart (without her permission might she add).

No man is worth the aggravation...

That's right! What made Leona so special that her heart found itself twisted beyond the point of entanglement? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. She could live her life just as she had before. No feelings here. No sirree. God knows how well the last time went-

That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Shaking her head out of the strange reverie she found herself in, Y/N slapped her cheeks as hard as she could, hid her money in a secret cabinet that not even Grim knew of, and rushed to class.

"Bonjour ma cherie~" A very familiar voice called out to her the second she stepped out of Crewel's classroom.

"Hey! Rook! How have you been?" Y/N asked excitedly.

The two chittered loudly as they walked through the hallways, one of them oblivious to viridescent eyes following their every movement.

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin', he's the Earth and heaven to you.

"He's definitely into you, so why don't you just admit that you like him?" Rook asked.

Try to keep it hidden, Honey, we can see right through you.

"What the fuck did you just say?" An astonished Y/N asked.

"My such foul language from such a pretty thing like you. Vil certainly would not like to hear that~"

"I'm not in love with Leona Kingscholar."

"Mhmm~"

"Like what is there to like about him in the first place? He's lazy, misses the majority of his classes, has that annoying ass smirk on his face every time I see him-"

Girl, ya can't conceal it, we know how ya feel.

Rook grinned to himself. He wondered how long it would take Y/N to admit that she was in love.

The day passed by as usual, but there was a certain heaviness in Y/N's mind throughout, and a distant pang in her heart swam through her every now and then.

On her way back to Ramshackle, Y/N stopped by Crowley's office to let him know that she would be heading out to buy her supplies soon. Grabbing her purse (a gift from Vil, because apparently she couldn't just bring her backpack everywhere) and stashing her money in it, Y/N found herself practically skipping to town.

Until Leona Kingscholar showed up. Again.

"And where are you off to in such a scurry?"

"It's none of your business Kingscholar. Now out of my way! The loves of my life await me!"

Confused, Leona felt his ears twitch in irritation. Loves of her life? Plural? Since when did the Herbivore have relationships?

"I'll come with you."

"Huh?"

"You might get yourself killed in town. Who knows? After all, you're just a small, fragile herbivore." Leona remarked, still pissed about the supposed "loves" of her life.

"But I'm just getting some stuff? Even Crowley said it was fine. Why are you so worked up about me going out?" Y/N asked, upset about the current situation that was stalling her from splurging on art supplies.

Eventually, Y/N agreed to let Leona accompany her, and Leona mentally prepared himself to scare off her suitor, well, in this case, suitors apparently. Deep inside, Y/N felt the familiar bubbling giddiness whenever Leona was in her presence, and she tried oh so hard to push it down before she choked on the feeling and threw up.

When they reached the store Y/N had in mind to buy her supplies, Leona stood confused. Who the fuck meets up with their lovers on a date at a fucking art store? The human that he happened to be in love with, apparently.

But very quickly, Leona realized (much to his inner embarrassment) that Y/N had been excited about getting new paints and other supplies, not about meeting any significant others. Good grief, he was losing his edge-

The lion beastman watched as the human flitted about back and forth and everywhere in between the store, almost like a buzzing bee. Minus the buzzing noise, of course. The sight made his heart constrict in all the best ways.

It almost felt like a date to Y/N, what with Leona coming along with her on her personal errand, holding things that she asked him to hold (might as well put him to work if all he was going to do was look lost in the place), and judge for himself which paintbrushes were better. He would grumble about being handled as though he were a servant, but never stopped helping Y/N with anything he could.

Maybe Rook was right. Maybe Leona did actually like her-

No chance! No Way!

She wouldn't say it, no.

But thinking back to all the times her mind became all fuzzy and muddled because of Leona Kingscholar, she wondered if she was denying things.

No, of course not.

It's too cliche!

She wouldn't say that she's in love.

But look at him looking so thoroughly at paintbrushes so that she could get the best set. How could that possibly not make her swoon? He's looking at paintbrushes, paintbrushes, and it was all for her, and it was making her feel things that she really thought she wouldn't feel again. It seems as though her heart hadn't learnt its lesson. Shame on it.

Pushing down the intrusive thoughts as though she were pushing down bile, Y/N tried to make quick work of her rare excursion. When they finally made it back to NRC, she begrudgingly thanked Leona for his time and effort and ran faster than a cheetah all the way back to her dorm.

Running past Grim who was snacking on tuna, Y/N locked the door to her room.

Looking down at the supplies she'd bought, Y/N realized that a set of colored pencils that she'd really wanted, but didn't get because they were way out of budget, somehow magically found their way into her shopping bag.

No chance...

There was no way. But it was beginning to be glaringly obvious even to herself. But this scene shouldn't have played! And that damned mirror in her room was no help, what with it showing that grin on her lips.

Maybe, just maybe...

Oh, she wouldn't admit that she was in love. At least out loud.

Author's Note: As usual, I spent far too long on this fic, and I both regret and enjoyed it at the same time. This fic is this month's entry for the @briarvalleyarchives. The prompt was "Anthems of Old," and I really wanted to do that justice. I ended up losing motivation for this fic multiple times during various parts of the process. It was so bad that I ended up publishing another fic inspired but this month's prompt before this-

Originally, I wanted to try writing a fic for Colors of the Wind, but then I very quickly realized that I had no idea what I wanted to write, so then I switched to I Won't Say (I'm In Love).

I'm glad that I finally finished this, and it is very much safe to say that Måneskin helped me push through. T-T

Thank you for reading!

261 notes · View notes

moonyswarmsweaters · 2 months

Text

after being the last one to figure out he likes James

Regulus: If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that Regulus: No man is worth the aggravation. That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Barty: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Evan: Try to keep it hidden

Dorcas: Honey, we can see right through you Evan: Dude, you can't conceal it, We know how you feel and Who you're thinking of

Regulus: No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no

Pandora: You swoon, you sigh, Why deny it, uh-oh

Regulus: It's too cliche. I won't say I'm in love ~~~

Regulus *thinking about Sirius leaving*: I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out Regulus: My head is screaming get a grip, dude Unless you're dying to cry your heart out, Oh

Evan: You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Barty: Baby, we're not buying . Pookie, we saw you hit the ceiling Dorcas: Face it like a grown-up Evan: When you gonna own up?

Pandora: That you got, got, got it bad

Regulus: No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no

Barty: Give up, give in, Check the grin you're in love

Regulus: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love

Evan: You're doin flips read our lips, You're in love

Regulus: You're way off base, I won't say it Regulus: Get off my case, I won't say it

Barty: Reg, don't be proud, It's O.K. you're in love

Regulus: Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

33 notes · View notes

y3nze1 · 7 months

Text

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍 | c.5

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: I / II / III / IV / V / VI

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Tw! Mention of Blood, Cuts, Gun and Violence! Interact at your own risk, darlings! anyways, short continuation chapter. Fic based on This! happy readings my darlings!

You stood, staring by the balcony, scratching your forehead softly, sighing to yourself as you wonder what you got yourself into. you stared up the sky, watching the clouds clump by, surrounding the moon as it shimmers down you.

You stood at the balcony, staring up at the moon as it graced the clear night sky. You felt a sense of calm wash over you, like everything was okay for the moment. A gentle breeze blew past you and you took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh, crisp night air.

'If there's a prize for rotten judgement

I guess I've already won that

No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history, been there, done that!'

But despite the serene environment around you, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of uncertainty.

You began to wonder if you actually had feelings for Alastor or if it was just a passing fancy. The thought of possibly being in love with someone so powerful and intimidating both thrilled and scared you.

'Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'

He's the Earth and heaven to you

Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through you

Girl, ya can't conceal it

We know how ya feel and

Who you're thinking of'

You let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of your own emotions bearing down on you. You wished you had someone to talk to about this, someone who could help you sort out your feelings. But who could you turn to? And what would they think of you if they knew how you felt?

'No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no'

Despite these thoughts, you couldn't help but smile as you watched the moon glow brighter against the dark sky. It was a reminder of the beauty and mystery of the world, and it made you feel a sense of wonder and possibility.

'It's too cliche

I won't say I'm in love'

"damn it!" you bang your fist on the railings, "damn you.." you run your hand through your hair, sighing softly. "damn me.." you turned around, your back facing railings slowly breaking down, sitting on the cold tile. "damn you daisy.." chuckling, you leaned back, sighing.

As you sat on the cold tile, you felt a sense of melancholy wash over you. The thoughts of Alastor and your feelings for him kept creeping into your mind, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of loss and confusion. You rested your head against the cool stone of the balcony, letting out a deep sigh.

'I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming get a grip, girl

Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

Oh'

Despite the pain, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace. The cold tile felt soothing against your skin, and the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves of the trees below seemed to calm your racing thoughts.

'You keep on denying

Who you are and how you're feeling

Baby, we're not buying

Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown-up

When ya gonna own up

That ya got, got, got it bad'

You close your eyes and let out a long, deep breath, trying to clear your mind of all the noise. For a moment, you felt like everything was going to be okay. That you could figure this out and come out on the other side.

As you sat there, lost in your thoughts, you felt a sense of serenity wash over you. It was as if the world around you was slowly coming back into focus, and you felt a sense of hope and possibility for the first time in what felt like forever.

'No chance, now way

I won't say it, no, no'

you clutched your chest, slowly feeling flustered at the thought of him, his smile, his soft voice, his cute goddamn laugh. you curled into a ball, internally screaming at you picture him in every way.

'Give up, give in

Check the grin you're in love'

You sat there, lost in your thoughts, thinking about Alastor's smile, his soft voice, his cute laugh. You felt a sense of love and desire wash over you, and you clutched your chest, feeling your heart racing.

'This scene won't play,

I won't say I'm in love'

You thought about all the times you had spent together and how he had made you feel. You remembered the way he looked at you, how he had always made you feel loved and special. You thought about the times he had supported you and been there for you, how he made you laugh and feel alive. you shook your head, cupping your cheeks as you formed a small smile.

'You're doin flips read our lips

You're in love

You're way off base

I won't say it

Get off my case

I won't say it

Girl, don't be proud

It's O.K. you're in love'

You realized that you were in love with Alastor, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You felt a sense of peace wash over you, and you smiled to yourself, feeling happy and content for the first time in a long time.

'Oh

At least out loud,

I won't say I'm in love'

you stood up looking into the light of the city, blushing immensely as you stared into the busy streets. scratching your forehead once again, you decided to sleep the feeling off, you headed for your room, laying down on the soft mattress as you fiddled your hair softly. you closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep.

ೀ.ᐟ⭒๋࣭

"Alastor, my guy, come on.. d-don't be like that. we can work it out some way" the man cowered, backing away as he dragged his cut arm from the cold concrete, blood trailing on the ground as he grit his teeth in pain, eyes staring up at alastor with fear.

"I've been patient enough, pal. I don't like it when someone-" he swung his knife, cutting through the man's leg as the guy writhed in pain. "provokes.. me.."

Alastor's expression darkened as he watched the man writhe in pain. He held the knife firmly in his hand, not even blinking as he looked down at the man, still backed against the wall. "Now you see," he said coldly, letting his words hang in the air as he tilted his head slightly to the side. "That's what happens to people like you."

"you are given the privilege of.. someone's goodness" he kicked the man face, keeping the same sinister smile on. "you take that kindness.." he gripped the man's hair, smashing it onto the wall. "and. you. abuse. IT" with every word, he slammed, watching the blood trickle down the man's forehead.

"alastor.. p-please i-i told you I'd pay.. give me some more time.. i-i promise.." the man stuttered, "you said that six months ago." alastor grits his teeth, pulling out a gun from his pocket. pointing at the guy's forehead.

"send my regards to the devil." he laughed. the bullet bursting through the man's skull, parts of his brain spewing out as the blood drains out from his head, his body going limp, parts of his fingers still moving yet his eyes were in an upward gaze. skin pale like flour.

Alastor remained sat back in his chair, the light from the candles casting his shadow over the blood-stained walls. He lit another cigarette, taking a deep drag, his eyes on the limp body lying on the ground. He took another drag, then tossed the cigarette onto the body, watching as it smoldered and died out.

His eyes closed as he let out a deep breath, his head lowering from the weight of the world around him. For a moment, it felt as though time itself had frozen in place, and he was the only living thing in that moment.

After a few more minutes, he opened his eyes, and with a heavy sigh, he stood from his chair, walking towards the body and kneeling down next to it. He looked at the gun in his hand, and with a slight shake of his head, he placed it on the table beside the candles, the shadows cast by the dancing flames illuminating his features.

He closed his eyes and held his hands over the body, his palms slightly angled towards the light. he hummed. His voice is soft, yet powerful, holding a strange and alluring quality to it, as though it was the voice of the universe itself..

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin #1920s #alastor altruist #human!alastor

100 notes · View notes

melody-everbelle · 1 year

Text

I Won’t Say I’m In Love (Wally Darling x Reader)

Title: I Won’t Say I’m In Love

Pairing: Wally Darling x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 593

Featured character(s): Julie Joyful, Sally Starlet, and Poppy Partridge

Warning(s): Denial, persuasion, and fluff :3

Summary: You try to convince yourself that falling in love with Wally is a bad idea. However, your neighbors think the opposite. 😉

Author's Note: Another Wally Darling fanfic! 🎉

I based this fanfic off of the aforementioned scene from Disney’s Hercules, so I hope you enjoy musical fanfics 🥰

***

You were out on a date with Wally Darling. During the event, Wally picked out your favorite flower and handed it to you. Before the date was over, he kissed your cheek and wished you goodnight.

As the night went on, you sat alone in the garden, admiring the flower that Wally gave you. Moments of you and him together crossed your mind, causing your heart to slightly flutter, and your cheeks to glow pink.

"Oh, Y/N," you said to yourself. "To think you have feelings for him."

After looking around to make sure that no one was around, you began to sing out loud.

(Y/N) If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that No puppet's worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that

To your surprise, your friends, Julie Joyful, Sally Starlet, and Poppy Partridge tagged along. You tossed the flower away, only for Julie to catch it.

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) Who d'you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden, Honey we can see right through you Girl/boy/hon, you can't conceal it We know how you're feeling Who you're thinking of

Julie walked over to return the flower to you, but you rejected it to her dismay.

(Y/N) No chance, no way, I won't say it, no no

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) You swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Oh oh

(Y/N) It's too... cliche I won't say I'm in love

You walked away from the trio to give yourself a break. As you continued touring around the garden, you couldn't help but mentally visualize romantic scenarios.

(Y/N) I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip girl/boy/hon" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

Julie, Sally, and Poppy followed along.

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad?

Eventually, you walked around an area of the garden where there were statues of the residents of the Neighborhood.

(Y/N) No chance no way I won't say it, no no

You accidentally bumped into a statue of Wally, causing you to grin and blush.

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love

Embarrassed, you recoiled from the statue.

(Y/N) This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) You're doing flips, read our lips: you're in love!

(Y/N) You're way off base, I won't say it

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) She/he/they won't say it, no

You eventually returned to the spot where Wally kissed your cheek.

(Y/N) Get off my case, I won't say it

Altogether, Julie, Sally, and Poppy place the flower next to you.

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) Girl/boy/hon, don't be proud, it's okay you're in love

Recognizing the flower, you brought it close to your face. You finally realized that your love for Wally was valid.

(Y/N) Ooh, at least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

While singing the last word, you leaned back towards a large, gnarled tree and fell asleep shortly after.

(Julie, Sally, and Poppy) Shoo-loo, shoo-loo, shoo-loo sha-la-la-la-la-la, ahh 💖

#welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling #wally darling x reader #wally darling x y/n #wally darling x you #wally darling imagines #x reader fanfiction #i won't say i'm in love #disney's hercules

303 notes · View notes

dreams-writings · 1 year

Text

Reverse Interrogation - Part 1

[sub!Feitan Portor x top!Reader]

‼️ NSFW/MDNI‼️

Synopsis: For the first time in his life, Feitan fails an interrogation. Refusing to admit defeat and give up his perfect track record when it comes to his specialty, he begrudgingly allows reader to strike a bargain in exchange for her secrets.. and is shocked to learn what she truly wants. His body. Frustrated and furious with his predicament, he angrily accepts her conditions purely for the sake of the Troupe, agreeing to do as she says. No other reason...

Tw: eventual smut, torture, violence, NSFW/MDNI, vulgar language, Feitan gives verbal consent but still isn't happy with the situation/ (dubcon????)

Feitan's thin, pale fingers were as cold as his heart, a detail that all of his victim's vividly remembered. They always retold their horrid experience with the notorious Phantom Troupe interrogator with a glaze of shell shocked terror in their eyes. The graphic recollection of such chilled skin gripping and tearing harshly at their own flesh would make them sob even years later after the torment. That is, of the few that survived the ordeal. The man in question wasn't necessarily aware of this, he just did his job, striking an unfathomable amount of fear into the hearts of the unlucky few who crossed his merciless path, and whom were ordered to be dragged off to his eery torture chambers. He'd bring them all to the point they'd do anything in the entire world to escape it. Even giving up precious secrets, his most treasured prize for the effort.

He was nonchalant about it. Indifferent, even. Perhaps he could revel in the glory of it, just a bit - the assignment easily giving a man like him a power trip seldom found elsewhere in his youth. Anyone from Meteor City had been conditioned by a brutally unforgiving childhood.

His eyes might crinkle in delight beneath the mysterious cowl at a particularly profound scream, or those empty grey depths could also glimmer amusedly if they begged for his nonexistent mercy. But such was the nature of his upbringing. At the end of the day.. it was the pride of serving his Troupe which overruled any form of guilt or shame that a normal, perhaps more sane person could feel about butchering people into submission. He never failed an interrogation. And he didn't plan to start today, even as the woman before him.. his newest little nut to crack open, was giving him a challenge.

Someone who survived more than perhaps ten minutes was refreshing. But only at first - as he was about to discover. Feitan was accustomed to the disappointment of most human beings succumbing to their primitive instincts and fragility, interrupting his creative ideas at the worst time. It left him unsatisfied, and pent up. The confessions would soon follow after the initial wave of shock passed.. the pathetic blubbering and hiccuping sobs, as his victim unashamedly spilled their intel before he spilled more of their guts. A part of him pitied them. Only a small, miniscule part. But most of him loathed them, too. Not only for their weakness, giving in so easily... but also betraying whomever it was they worked for or served. Mostly, it was his judgement for their inability to endure. He could only think to himself at such times:

Really? That's all you can take? I could've done better in your shoes.. I wouldn't have broken so easily. I would never be a liability to my allies. How detestable.

In his opinion they belonged beneath his boot, to finally suffer the way they caused others to. Feitan trusted Chrollo's judgement. Always. He firmly believed that not one single innocent person had ever, ever found themself in his chambers beneath his vengeful will. An underground lair of hell, which Chrollo gave the order to utilize when a person was seen as fit for punishment. Another rotten pile of garbage and greed for Feitan to pick apart. He embodied a diety of unforgiving justice in his mind. Long ago, he'd stopped asking what the reason was, and just got straight to carving away.

Feitan was currently preoccupied observing today's victim. Except.. she wasn't really acting like a victim, so what was he to call her? Narrowed, steely grey eyes continued to dart up and down her feminine figure as if searching for clues to piece together a puzzle. He couldn't solve this one, not yet... Even his keen attention for catching any signs of weakness wasn't able to determine a chink in the armor. If he thought he'd found one and explored into it a bit, he was only met with the same resilience as before. Her heated, intense stare of defiance. A smirk began to play across his features, it wasn't often he maybe felt a glimmer of respect for someone in his chair.

"Tough girl. How you become immune to shock?" He asked, pausing to idly run a bloodstained cloth over one of his nasty metal tools. He tossed the mechanism back to a metal tray where it gave a harsh clatter.

A clever glint in his eye, he circled her similarly to a jungle cat closing in on alert prey. She snickered right back at him, and he quirked a brow, noticing the bizarre nature of her mental state. Or rather, it was outlandish to him, to see someone with freshly stripped fingernails acting so present and grounded.

By now, almost at this exact time in the routine, the animalistic "deer in headlights" look would appear as his victims squirmed and twisted to find an escape. Hyperventilating through a full bodily trauma response. But not her. She looked as casual as the first moment he forcibly sat her down... Expression careful and aware, but definitely not in the midst of a primitive meltdown. He couldn't help but feel a little bit of curiosity... And interest. He could treat someone like this as a human, even if his cruelty would remain the same.

He did so by talking to her. She was clearly sound enough to respond.

"You been trained? To handle your secrets like big girl?" He inquired condescendingly, pacing restlessly in front of her, looming over her with menace in his intent.

His ghostly slender hand reached forward to grip her by the hair, yanking on the tufts to force eye contact, and her face twisted into an expression he couldn't quite understand, her sharp exhale of surprise leaving a warm feeling tingling against his skin as it swept past his cheeks.

Stripped bare, she was panting lightly, a reaction he noticed. He kept his victims this way to understand them better - an expert in anatomy; he wanted to be able to take in every reaction. Every last possible weak point that could be weaponized or utilized to coax someone into unbearable agony. Being naked psychologically left an impact, making humans feel more vulnerable and insecure through the interrogation process. Subsequently, it urged them to feel cornered and small in more than one way, and let their treasured secrets slip all the easier.

But this wasn't what he was looking for. She wasn't gasping with pain or flinching away. Instead, her soft pants left her cheeks flushed red. So what was going on?

"You could say that," she purred. "Is it frustrating? You haven't had to really work for this before, have you?" She mused.

The way she was looking at him made his skin crawl just a bit. Mostly because he really legitimately couldn't read her face, and he found that unnerving. He was used to total control in this environment. Given the circumstances it should be something totally different - so how was he supposed to understand her at all? He watched a gash on her face ooze slowly with more blood, a little droplet finding it's way down to the ice cold basement flooring with a faint pattering echo. The woman was unphased by his demeanor apparently.

Feitan just sort of stared after such comments, calculating towards her with a hint of annoyance creeping into his gaze. Was she taunting him? For a moment he second guessed it because he couldn't determine why someone in their right god damn mind would mock a life threatening predator actively approaching with a set of torture tools in hand. Not to mention, she was helpless and restrained. Was she bluffing? Either way he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that she most definitely was batshit crazy, based on how there was seemingly no logical gain in being so bold.

"...Can't feel pain. As much. Can you?"

After a pause this was all he had said. Coming to this final conclusion, realizing that his vigilant eyes hadn't missed any signs after all. Initially he had thought she had gone through some sort of intense training in pain endurance, for the sole purpose of keeping her sacred, crucial information safe. But now he was realizing what he was actually dealing with. He'd broken trained torture survivors before. Easily. They always reached their limit eventually. This was different.

"That's right!" She chimed. "You finally got it, darling. I can feel pain but my nervous system doesn't work the same way as yours.. my pain receptors aren't very intense. So you're playing a losing game here. Tell me though, will you give up? Is this it for you, little sadist? Or are you the creative type~?"

He watched her give him a once over, smug expression still plastered to her features as he felt himself essentially being sized up. He wasn't sure how he felt about it other than the fact he didn't like it.. Feitan believed her close observance of him from head to toe was probably a show of her humiliating him. Maybe searching for weaknesses the same way he knew how to do.. and he hated that possibility. Who was she to reflect his behavior? She MUST be thinking up insults about him silently, that he was too short or something.. the very idea made his blood boil.

This infuriating concept made him loom closer to her, his intimidating nature taking over while his eyes bore daggers into hers. Mere inches away from her face, this was how he typically issued a challenge without speaking a word. Most people would fall apart and quiver with terror being subjected to inescapable closeness with him. Yet another unexplainable reaction followed from her instead, and his eyes darted down at the first sight of movement, noticing she was squirming and rubbing her thighs together under his fierce stare. He didn't put two and two together; he just watched, dumbfounded, unsure if maybe she was attempting to break free to no avail.

"There's more than one way to get information out of someone, you know~ but I get the feeling all you know how to do is rip people apart. The easy method. Boring. You want my suggestion-?"

"Shut up," Feitan snarled ferociously, offended and disgusted with both her and the situation, unable to stop himself before he found his hand wrapping tightly around her neck, violent fingers locking over her jaw in a vicious grip. He hated all her irritating chatter, it made his temper flare. But even more than that, although he would never admit it.. he just hated that she could take away what made him feel the most powerful and secure, simply by existing. He wasn't threatening or scary to someone if he couldn't cause them pain. And he struggled to accept that. It didn't fit in place with his comfort zone.

Gurgling, her eyes squinted with pain, but to confirm what she'd just said.. indeed, a normal person would be screaming, and this was bearable for her, even if fairly uncomfortable. His inhuman retractable claws were digging into her soft skin, causing beads of blood to appear beneath five piercing knives. Quickly, the wounds turned into crimson streams. Yet, she wouldn't yield.

Unfortunately, her time spent suffocating in his merciless grasp also gave him enough time in silence to come to another realization. He let go, instantly - watching her drop back down with a hunched head, coughing and spluttering for air.

He could accidentally kill her this way because her body and mind wouldn't be responding with the queues he needed to go by in determining her state of mortality, and likelihood of death. How could he make a judgement call without the signs he was used to expecting? He could tell when someone was close to death, based on indicators of their shock levels.. all a complete circular link between the psychology and physiology of pain.

He was completely seasoned in his job to the fullest degree. But this wasn't a normal situation, not one he'd ever dealt with. She couldn't necessarily tell him or maybe even understand herself if she was dying.

Shit... her body wouldn't freak out or sense danger. It would just remain in a perfectly neutral state. One second she would be breathing and the next her heart might just fail on her. Normally Feitan didn't have any qualms about killing but when it came to interrogations, death meant that the victim's intel died with them. Taken to the grave. To him, that was equivalent to failure.

And so.. the delimma was quickly dawning on him. He could continue, and risk killing her by accident, therefore ensuring the intel he sought was forever out of reach - or, he could stop and suffer the shame of admitting defeat.

Unacceptable... both were unacceptable. He could only stand momentarily and glare at her maliciously for the predicament she was causing him, a sudden stirring feeling of true hatred arising in his chest. Why was it, then, that there was perhaps more of that same respect from earlier appearing simultaneously? Well.. he must be unable to ignore her strength here, and found himself inwardly acknowledging her impossible feat of enduring his trials. No other human being had ever done the same.

"You will tell me. Tell me what Danchou asked for." He was making an attempt to assert his normally compelling willpower, his intimidating aura leaking into his nen which flared along with his irritability. Right now, he was fairly pissed off, the signs beginning to appear around his frame through a visual residue of nen.

"Maybe I will," she purred again towards him. He paused, surprised yet again by her, unsure if she was being serious. He would've easily taken that in as more mockery but just now - she sounded quite sincere. What was he supposed to say? He wasn't going to ask HER what he had to do for it. His pride wouldn't permit that. She needed to play by his rules in his domain.

But as a result of his confusion he was only left with a loss for words, eyes narrowing into slits as he attempted to piece her apart with his mind. Figure out what she was going on about. Nonetheless, she took the silence as opportunity.

"Take me back to your leader and I'll strike a deal with him. He makes deals, doesn't he? I'll tell you everything if he can give me what I want."

Feitan ridiculed her with that same silent stare, making it clear he was displeased with her request. She shouldn't even get the option when nobody else in her shoes ever could. She was just lucky.. just special because of some random offhand ability she either developed over time, or was born with. So why did she deserve special treatment? What, was she going to ask for a red carpet down here next as she was escorted out? He wasn't going to ask about her weird pain tolerance nor did he care. It was just an annoying hurdle he was finding himself truly aggravated with.

"Fine. But Danchou not an idiot. Most likely end up back with me.. will get you to talk. Eventually."

The only reason he agreed to this was because he was legitimately concerned about accidentally killing her. He was known for his brutality, and early on in his little career he had actually sent people into a premature grave through panic induced heart attacks. His torture techniques had to be modified and drawn out, to prolong their time in the chair and eliminate the chance of losing potential classified information. He knew what to look for, to determine when to back off temporarily. He just hadn't seen it from this woman.

Not to mention, he had carved her up pretty good already. Deep, clean slices decorated her skin in vertical designs where he had experimented for quite a while, attempting in his endeavors to find just one place where her pain was significant. Nothing had been found, and as a result, her blood loss was considerable.

Wordlessly, he made his final decision, cutting her loose from her bonds and noticing her give a shudder at the cold blade. Leaning forward towards him, a tension became present now that she was being freed, an absolutely electric presence in the surrounding air. Goosebumps raised beneath where his fingertips smoothed over her wrists, and he raised a brow, assuming it was the discomfort of cold. "Pretty," she hummed in a strangely sweet tone, and he straightened up, staring at her again in a mixture of confusion and exasperation.

"Your hands," she clarified. He just deadpanned at her. A moment passed, and she would only earn a snippy little "tch" from him in response. His eyes flickered back to her face upon hearing her chuff in amusement at his dismissal, and again he realized just how god damn nuts she was. Clearly, not even slightly afraid of him. He frowned, spiteful at the fact.

As if to make a point, his so called "pretty" hands were what he used to harshly yank her out of the chair by the scalp, dragging her across the floor to go speak with Chrollo. How could she even possibly think that about such hands, which were designed to only ever harm and kill? The amount of blood these hands carried upon them.. it could drown a person. Or several. Such a comment like that made him almost concerned for her. Or rather, it would if she was someone he cared for. He did not. Feitan was definitely judging though.

If anything, her delirious behavior was perhaps the only present sign of her being unwell... Maybe this was how the strain on her body was presenting itself even if she couldn't feel pain. That had to be it. Her compliments couldn't be genuine. This was psychosis of some sort.

He was grumbling and growling under his breath as he kept tugging on her to keep up with him. She wasn't heavy by any means but he was annoyed to even be lugging her weight around. She was a tricky bitch in his opinion and he didn't trust her one bit - not even enough to stay put in the damn chair while he went to ask for Chrollo's input. "Stop" he snarled, the second he watched her open her mouth to start speaking. So instead, she just giggled softly, blood smearing all over her legs from being dragged across the stone cold floor.

Despite his warning, she spoke anyway, and he groaned.

"What do you think I'll ask him for? If I won't cave under the torture.. surely you must be wondering what's worth all my fun secrets."

"Don't care," he stated back flatly. He gave a particularly mean tug on her hair this time, knowing the tension against her scalp really wouldn't cause her much distress anyway. He could do what he wanted.

"Oh c'mon, surely you're curious ~" she hummed. He just sighed, refusing to play her game anymore.

It didn't take long to get her back into the entryway of the hideout where the entire Troupe was sitting around idly.. likely waiting for him to finish up. After all, whatever he found out was going to determine what the group did next. It was part of the pressure he was feeling at this time. He felt himself mentally melt away a little bit, consumed by shame as all other pairs of eyes turned to witness him. Him, in his state of failure.

He noticed all at once the individual reactions - Machi's frown of impatience and the confused yet interested tilt of Shalnark's blond head. Chrollo stood up, and approached. His eyes were always empty yet watchful. He could make sense of the situation amidst the silence within mere moments. "Everyone, please give us some privacy for a moment," he called to the others in his usual collected, calm tone. His diction was consistently elegant and composed. Feitan had always admired it.

He was having a hard time coping with embarrassment however, preoccupied with the difficulty of tolerating an emotion that he hated. Being ashamed or feeling bad about anything at all could make him terribly irritable. The others figured it out eventually, but it made him difficult to communicate with at times, on top of the language barrier. They'd just get snippy retorts and the usual scornful glare out of him if they tried to dig at it. Chrollo was the best person to handle this anyway, seeing as he was entirely unphased by Feitan's personality quirks.

Once the others had cleared out with a few grumbles and sighs, deciding not to comment on the abnormal event of Feitan bringing a victim back up with him, he growled and tossed the girl forward at his boss' feet.

"Won't talk. Some kind of weird pain immunity. Can't continue.. could kill her. She want bargain for secret."

His explanation was short, eyes lowering down to glower at her beneath his boot, giving her a solid kick in the back for the hell of it just because he was mad about what he had to do. He was suffering such humiliation because SHE was too stubborn. Anger helped him feel better about admitting defeat to someone he looked up to.

The woman just squirmed under his heated eyes, legs writhing together like they had before in the chair. He still really didn't like those eyes she gave him from beneath half lidded lashes, as it made him nervous. He didn't get why she always looked like she knew something he didn't. Chrollo watched this scene unfold as well, any changes in his expression so subtle that they were hardly noticable, and past any level of observance. Even the slightest glimmer of amusement in his eye was quick to vanish as he easily pieced apart the situation with a few context clues. He spoke quietly and nonchalantly to the girl, calm gaze lowering back down to her level.

"It sounds like we have no choice but to cooperate with her, Feitan. After the extensive damage done to her body, one might even say we're lucky she's willing to compromise."

Don't praise her for such a stupid thing, Feitan nearly hissed out loud, but kept the thought reverberating in his head instead.

The raven watched his leader lower to one knee, observing her, and he then gave her one of his lifeless smiles before asking:

"What do you suggest we should trade, for your precious intel? What do you value?"

He waited, glancing up at Feitan to note how utterly furious his second in command was, the man was practically exuding steam out the ears. Chrollo wasn't upset by any means in this situation, but he could also understand why his counterpart was struggling with it.

The woman straightened herself up, having patted down her hair once Feitan let go, and she gave the Phantom Troupe's leader a coy smirk. She didn't hesitate to respond with a bold demand.

"Let me fuck him,"

"I want him. Your interrogator. Let me do as I please with him for a while, and he'll be my pretty new toy. I promise not to harm him, and he'll be returned to you in the same condition as he is now. If not perhaps a little bit more relaxed."

She lifted her eyes to hungrily drink in the sight of her captor. Chrollo couldn't help but chuckle softly, purposefully taking a moment to witness Feitan's reaction in real time.

He had to admit, this whole ordeal had his full interest now. The leader had already known where this was going the second the girl was dragged in, utterly unapologetic with the squirming and flushing red body every damn time her captor touched her. The look she gave him was one of desire, whenever she basked in his visage. All behavior that Chrollo understood from women, and he knew Feitan did not. In fact he was sure this was a complete blindsighted smack to the face for him.

She gave a little rocking motion of delight at the mere thought, and Chrollo raised a brow, seriously considering her offer. It was a simple one. So, she just wanted sex. But he understood right away that this was out of his hands. He already made a pact with himself long ago that he would never sacrifice the human dignity of his members for personal gain.

Maybe, though.. he could help his friend out with this one and take the bullet. The truth was that Chrollo wouldn't mind at all, he'd utilized his good looks in the past to get what he wanted for his personal goals, and it was really no hindrance to him to do it one more time.

"So you want pleasure? Rather than just him, I can assure you that I'm another willing candidate for you, and with significantly more intimate experience at that. Would you take me instead?"

"No-"

She began. Except, it was two people who spoke at once. The woman was about to completely reject the idea, but Feitan was already shaking his head.

"No, Danchou. You should not take consequence for my failure. My responsibility to fix."

Chrollo sighed, realizing this could now officially go one way and only one way, due to Feitan's stubborn rigidity. Even if he'd be pissed about it for easily a full week. Feitan would rather suffer any other punishment than let down his Troupe. It was connected to his personal pride and priorities. Chrollo knew this, of course.

"Well, Feitan? Do you agree? You won't be allowed to resist or argue, if you do. You would have to allow her to have her way, if we want to complete an exchange."

Poor Feitan however, was not on the same page. In fact, they'd left him behind by a significant few paces, his brain still working in overdrive to process what the fuck she just said a minute ago. What she just asked his boss for. He quite literally couldn't fathom what was happening or why. Who would want him? And no less, why the hell was Chrollo so quick to immediately consider such a bizarre request? There HAD to be more to it. Maybe she was trying to get him into a vulnerable position, to kill him. This couldn't be right.

"Feitan?" Chrollo asked again. The skull crested cowl around his face covered the view of his jaw hanging slightly open in disbelief.. but it certainly couldn't conceal his mortified eyes, round as stoplights.

"......I, I..."

He almost reverted back to his first language in this instance as he failed to find the words. How could he, when presented with such an unbelievable situation? What could he even do.. or say? How did he even feel about it? He wasn't sure. Too much at once.

At least, the woman was actually quiet as he sat there, dumbfounded and flabbergasted. He shuffled uncomfortably, feeling his face quickly heating up into what was probably a jarring bright red flush. His ears felt hot.. his cheeks were burning and his hands went all clammy. He wouldn't say it but he was scared.

Nonetheless, what came out of his mouth after a few agonizing long minutes passed, said differently.

"Fine. Whatever it takes."

"Feitan.. if you don't want to.."

"Stop it. This my job in Troupe. Let me do job."

His fists clenched, and he stuffed them into his pockets as he noticed the girl's clear satisfaction with his answer. He sneered right back at her, after seeing her snicker. He sent Chrollo a glare, truly feeling like his boss was pimping him out in some strange way. Was this even reality?? In what world would this even happen?

"I'll be so good to you~" the girl hummed sweetly, tantalizingly snaking an arm around his leg. Feitan shoved her off, but not before stiffening at her touch in surprise. He didn't know how to accept touch of any kind and he was more afraid of this right now than even something brutal, like her hurting him back. He'd have agreed much easier if she just suggested that instead. At least that was familiar.. whilst this was foreign.

"Alright. The deal is made. But you won't be leaving this place until you fulfill your end of the bargain, Miss, so long as Feitan also follows through. Now, I don't think you intend to cheat... Your interest in my interrogator seems genuine. But if you try to find any loopholes we'll likely kill you for it. Oh. And Feitan reserves the right to step away if you harm him. Understood?"

The girl nodded eagerly, standing up finally on weak knees. "So.. is that your name then beautiful boy? Feitan? What a lovely sounding name." She wobbled, eventually swerving on her right hip to reach for Feitan, arm wrapping around his slender waist to steady herself. Again, he stiffened at her closeness, expression tightening into discomfort. So then, why.. why did he simultaneously experience a sudden stirring in his lower stomach? Hearing her coo his name in such a sugary sweet way was also a completely new sensation. He didn't think anyone had ever spoken it like that before.

His eyes widened slightly in horror at the realization of feeling butterflies and jittery warmth in his stomach. Of course. He couldn't just ignore what was inevitably coming - what terrifying task he had committed himself to all for the sake of preserving his pride. Like one may try and avoid an intrusive thought, he was trying to cast out the idea that he'd.. well.. he'd be feeling inside of her quite soon. He'd never felt a girl like that before.. wrapped around him, and..

He released a breath he didn't know he was holding before and blinked to clear his head.

"What are you looking at" he hissed menacingly at the woman after catching her oggling him again, yanking her up by the forearm to drag her back to the damn basement designated for interrogation. Not to torture her now.. but.. to do whatever unsightly things she demanded. He chose the same room purely because it was designed specifically to block out noise. He didn't know what might happen, but... He didn't want anyone existing in this proximity to have even a slight audible hint of what was happening. This was a secret he was taking to his fucking grave.

Well, he could at least continue to brag about his perfect track record of successful interrogations, even if he was technically doing it the reverse way this time. He would simply have to bare with the constant embarrassment of knowing Chrollo witnessed this happen. Chrollo would know he stooped this low. But at least, he wouldn't have to suffer the constant belittlement and teasing from his allies. They could be brutal about that.. like siblings. Chrollo would likely have the decency to keep this under cover. Between the two of them.

"And don't hurt her either, okay Feitan?" Chrollo called back out to his interrogator as the small but strong raven hauled her away. He didn't respond, he just growled in frustration under his breath, already having assumed that was part of the exchange. No more torture.

He didn't know what he should be prepared for, and to be quite honest he felt almost faint as they entered the cold basement of the abandoned building in tense silence. The woman tried standing again, gripping for his hand as she pulled herself up.

"Unless you want blood all over you, I need to be patched up. And then I want you on the bed. Understood?" She asked.

Feitan gave an exhale, heavier than usual. Now that they were alone again he could ask her about her nonsensical request.

"you.. why would you..."

"Did I say you could ask questions?" She leered. And his gaze immediately hardened into a glare. He said nothing, knowing if he entertained his rage with a response, he'd probably only escalate from there. He was quickly learning he despised being told what to do from someone other than Chrollo.

"Good boy. I hope you know... I'm not intending to make you do everything for me.. I just want to please you, and watch you squirm a bit. That's all."

He was having a difficult time understanding her motives still but it might've been the haze of fog that clouded his mind after her next statement.

"That doesn't sound so bad, right? Sitting back and relaxing while a nice girl rides on you.."

His breath hitched as he felt her arms suddenly wrap around him, pressing herself into him by the hips to overwhelm him with her scent, and her voice.

"I'll make you feel so good that everyone in this building will know what's being done to you~"

And Feitan shuddered. Her whisper made his knees a little bit weak.. but he was also fucking petrified. Women never got this close to him on purpose. He may not be willing to admit it to himself, but for a brief moment at that time, he faltered... Truly terrified indeed that she was right. He just might break.

#feitan x reader #feitan #feitan portor #feitan porter x reader #hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter x reader #mdni #HxH #18+ please #Phantom Troupe

208 notes · View notes