#If I try to make it perfect I wont make it at all

[wintergrofyuri]

hero tired and stressed and anxious. constantly comparing himself to the long quiet. wishing they were still there. worrying he wont be enough to keep them all together. having stress dreams about being alone in the long quiet (the place). the mirror, the princess. the narrator. isolating himself from the others.

having to be physically dragged away from his brooding. being all "im fine" and then passing the fuck out not even 2 minutes into flock cuddle time. not even waking up while they fight over who gets to be closest (thank god btw smitten wld never be able to live with the guilt).

adversary and stubborn inviting him to a tussle. politely declining but suggesting he just watch, since he can tell they just wanted an excuse to hang out. ending up in a tussle anyways when adversary throws stubborn into him. hero not at All keeping up with them but its ok bc the closeness, physical or otherwise, is more than enough for him.

burned and drowned grey inviting themselves in bc burned is forcing drowned to interact with the voices more and decided hero is a good place to start. hero being scrambling a bit bc he wasnt expecting visitors (and hes still a little wary around the ghosts) but trying to be a gracious host. burned being all "see how cute and nice and sweet he is" and hero getting all flustered. drowned says nothing but she Does squish his cheeks a little. burned calls it a success.

broken seeking him out for when he just wants company and comfort. hero claims his door is always open and hes never once refused anyone. but sometimes others are already there. paranoid or opportunist. sometimes contrarian. a vessel or two is not uncommon either; spectre and damsel are especially fond of him. broken always feels like hes intruding, though. cold, on the other hand, does not care. he will invite himself in any hour just for hero time. he has advised broken to do the same.

they love him. they adore him. they put him on a pedestal. they care for him and worry about him and stress him worse than anything. all pressure he puts on himself. to be perfect. to be what he thinks they want him to be. he does not know how deep and unconditional it all is. they dont want him to Be anything other than himself. bc what he Is is what they fawn over. he could be reciting the fucking yellow pages and theyd still hang off every word.

anyways this makes no sense and its all over the place and basically just a stream of consciousness but this has been in my drafts long enough and i need everyone to know that hero harem is still 🔛🔝💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥🌈🦈✨

[princessofxianle]

so, i admit i am biased bc i def gotta be one of the most obnoxious fenglian truthers out there but, cross my heart, even before i became *that* i still read feng xin a little differently...

[fyi this is loooooong]

1. Hua Cheng & Feng Xin care differently

firstly, i do agree that HC and FX are fundementally not the same, their set of values from an outside pov are nearly polar opposites (id prob make their character alignments chaotic nuetral and lawful good respectively) and yes i agree that is the point of their characters. Their relationships w XL are supposed to be foils of one another to prove a point

their values differ but their actions consequently sometimes align, bc yes they care for XL differently, but the common thread is that they do care for Xie Lian

2. Sympathy isnt Empathy

however simply caring does not always mean its done "right" or in the way XL needed during banishment. And yes, this is where FX's actions in the flashback fall short of his intention to help his prince

but it is NOT because he doesn't care. Not at all. It's because, to him, XL isn't human. He's so much "better" than human. He's perfect. He's celestial. He is a god. The strongest of them all. And his actions are always right and just

FX throws XL on the highest pedestal he can imagine and keeps him there, at arms reach, because he believes in him, because he believes thats who XL is. That's what he believes XL deserves. To be above everyone else bc, in FX's eyes, no one will ever compare. Not even himself

and, i agree, THATS the problem

3. Cookie cutter "Taizi Dianxia Xie Lian"

in doing so, in accepting to support XL's dream to ascend, FX reinforces this idea in his mind of how perfect XL is. To him that is the truth. And he has promised to support XL through to the ends his goals. To stand by his side through everything. Ascention, banishment, and everything in between. And when FX tries to encourage XL, he thinks reminding him of how perfect he "is" is the best way

for awhile, this works. Because for the first ~20 yrs of his life, XL never fails. He gracefully falls into this role because he can. Because he fits the shape of the mold around him. But then times start getting tougher. The war. Human face disease. His toppled statue. And then finally his banishment

XL experiences failure, and many of them. And for the first time

FX watches all of this helplessly. So he tries to do the only thing he can. Encourage his pedastaled prince that this failure isnt "him." He's "better than this." And he can ascend again. Because to FX, thats what worked last time

to FX he's only trying to help, but to a suffering XL's ears it only sounds like he has not only failed to be what he once dreamed he'd be, but also begins to believe exactly what you say. That "he [Feng Xin] was never understanding of Xie Lian the person" in the first place

and this is where I disagree

for the greater part of his life, god/prince!XL is not that far off from person!XL. But as soon as those versions start to diverge, if we were to put blame on FX for not "understanding" person!XL (i dont, but hypothetically), there is an equal amount that needs to be pinned on XL as well

because when XL starts to do things that diverge from his old path, he refuses to talk to FX about them. Yes, it's bc of fear that FX wont accept him, but at this point in their story, XL is at one of his peaks as an unreliable narrator, and his fear is palpable in every line of book 4.

but when has FX's actions ever once implied that he'd do anything that would give real grounds to XL's fears? Never. XL may not see this at that moment, but the we, the reader, can.

XL isnt used to failing. XL isn't used to the unknown. He isn't used to not trusting himself. And that skews his whole worldview and its terrifying to him. If he cant trust himself to stay the same, how can he trust FX to? He can't deal with that internal conflict, so he resolves it in the only way he can

he sends FX away

4. Miscommunication™️ is a bitch

yes, XL makes the decision following FX saying "I really don't know why I've followed you all this time." But the conversation that happens immediately preceding this is also very important. And imo, a criminally overlooked core moment for FX as a character

this convo is the first time XL admits his [attempted] theft to FX after months of keeping it a secret. Now, here, FX could've reacted in disgust, or anger, or any of those horrible scenarios XL's mind has concocted to scare him. But he doesn't.

FX is stunned, sure (dont even get me started on how the fandom treats his moments of shock like this like he's an emotionless deadbeat like wtf HE'S HUMAN TOO ...but i digress) but he doesn't react in a way that points a finger at XL. He simply asks him why he avoided theft all this time if in the end, they would resort to it anyway. What was the point to suffer all this time to survive? Why give in now? FX's first thought is seemingly not to judge XL at all. Those questions are posed to try and understand him, not judge him

but these two are kings of miscommunication and the conversation does devolve out of control. Even tho FX is not attacking XL for his actions at all (tho he isnt really helping either), XL starts to get in his head and force FX to witness him turn his own harsh words on himself with statements like how "foolish" he was for ever thinking he could "save the common people", and many other self depricating comments toward what used to be his core beliefs and dreams as prince. And I'm inclined to think thats how he believes FX see's him then too. Broken. Worthless. A liar. And a failure

a failure to be what FX thought he truly was all along

but here's the thing, when FX swore an oath to the crown, specifically to XL, he consequently took on those values and goals as well. FX signed his life away for his prince. Willingly. He never expected to have agency in his own life again. He trusted XL with it. And then here XL is cursing his entire past. A past with FX steadfast and loyal by his side for most all of it. A past XL now claims was all a waste bc he's a worthless fool who couldnt see things "as they are." And FX can't help but ask "when did you become this way?" Not because he rejects him, but because what XL says hurts. An attack on his prince may as well be an attack on him too

XL means to direct it only at himself but he's likely hurt FX too without meaning to. Which brings me to the final classic fenglian™️ point...

5. No one ever gave Feng Xin a chance

I really do believe FX would've stayed

he would've stayed if XL didnt shout at him, "Then stop following" and proceed to slam the door in his face before FX even had a chance to process, and left him like that for 4 hours refusing to speak to him again.

I have often framed it like FX was just following orders when he left (which is true) but what I don't think many will mention is the possibility that FX believed XL simply didn't want him there with him anymore. The things XL says in the point above don't help FX to think otherwise either

But even "direct order"s aside, I still can't recall a time when FX ever intentionally did something against the wishes of what someone close to him wanted. Jian Lan proves this point twice. By first kicking him out during the time while XL went missing for a month during first banishment (to experience the 100 swords) and then 800 yrs later she declines any help from FX when he wants to help take care of her and Cuo Cuo. He offers, but never presses her

he respects the wishes of others unless he has reason to act or think otherwise

6. 800 Years Later

yet no matter how much time passes, FX never stops looking out for XL when he can

FX is now a god. He's Nan Yang. He does not need to answer to anyone except the emporer. He holds no obligation to anyone. And yet, be it...

the merits he subtlely told Ling Wen not to charge XL for

buying back hongjing

being the first to respond to Shi Qingxuan's call for help post ghost city arc and immediately tending to a bloodied XL

threatening and cursing at HC (a ghost heaven knows not to fuck with) to not harm XL after HC kidnaps him from house arrest (and then FX chasing after them himself)

...he cant seem to stop himself from looking out for XL.

And why? What would he gain? I don't know.

Why do we do anything for the people we love? Even if we don't see or speak to them that often anymore.

final notes:

feng xin is simply just "good"

...thank you for coming to my ted talk

and imo his nuance is also very misunderstood - he's not as simple as he seems

but i love him

'why are you being like this? when did. you become this way?' feng xin mumbled. 'i...i really don't know...i'm... why did i follow you all this time--?' 'then stop following,' xie lian said. feng xin couldn't wrap his head around that. 'what?' 'i said, don't follow me anymore,' xie lian repeated.

heaven official's blessing, pg 273

[roninreverie]

Mel, Jayce, Viktor, and Sky play a game saying two ways they differ from the rest of the group.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?

uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!

[lovoltage]

love i didn't (know how to) ask for

[starrysharks]

evilution

[metukika]

ill say it before and ill say it again. hc that teru doesnt like serizawa at all.

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom

[hercarisntyours]

english kpop peaked with this

[acaciapines]

guys what if i told you ive been thinking about dess and actually i think dess/chara might be able to work out in the drkau...like ive been doing some thinking into dess and her reasons and why she does what she does and how she cares about people and im starting to nail down the role i want asriel to play, and. and.

guys i think dess is actually going to be able to change. i think dess figures out how to change but asriel never does....

[scionshtola]

not as much as i wanted but still. prog.

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

[bruciemilf]

I think one of my fav fics had Jason like loving his mom deeply right- but also had him being like , that was not a good place for a child and she made some mistakes but she loved me and I love her ,

Cause like that’s what growing up is.. seeing your parents as humans ya? (Plus it paralleled his relationship with Bruce and stuff v good)

YES! EXACTLY!! everyday I'm.begging dc stans to understand imperfect parents shouldn't equate bad parents.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nomaishuttle]

now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .

[gibbearish]

> be me

> never send asks bc im scared ill mess something up

> type up lots of asks but never end up sending them

> finally type up an ask i feel like i can send

> check over it a dozen times to make sure im not missing anything

> send

> didn't actually read urls right

> sent ask to wrong person entirely

> mfw