#to show that he only cares about his work and his own appearance is unimportant

[starrysharks]

evilution

[jjkamochoso]

I’ll Be There for You

Angst, fluff

Levi Ackerman x gn!reader

Levi comes to your rescue when you’re dealing with negative feelings/depression :)

Warnings: cussing, negative self talk, allusions to depression, thoughts of death

A/n: if this fic helps even one person feel a bit better, then I’ve done my job🫶 much love to any of you who are or ever have felt this way; you’re worthy, you’re loved, and you have so much more life to experience so please don’t give up and always keep fighting❤️ I’m here for anyone who needs it and don’t be afraid to reach out!! Much love to you all❤️

Quite simply, you just wanted to lay in your bed and rot into the mattress, never to be seen again.

You didn’t know what brought on these feelings, you just knew you wanted no part of them. You would much rather sleep the hours away in hopes that they would leave on their own, but that wasn’t an option; you had to go to work. Trying to get out of bed each day was a Herculean task when it felt like your limbs were made of concrete. Inside your head were swirling thoughts of insecurities pertaining to every facet of your life.

I’m horrible at my job.

Everyone’s too busy to care about me, I’m not worth their time.

No one would care if I died.

You sighed, slinging your uniform jacket over your shoulders. You didn’t bother looking in your small mirror, figuring that seeing your appearance would only make your thoughts worse. You grabbed some files from your office as you made your way past the dining hall, opting to forgo breakfast. You had little appetite the last week, not having enough energy or care to fuel your body. You were just filing paperwork anyway, it wasn’t like you were doing anything important or worthwhile. Normally you would smile as you heard the chatter of your comrades chowing down on their meals, but lately it brought you no joy, instead leaving your heart heavy with an indescribable sadness. Your boots slammed against the floor, each step as difficult as the one before it. You trudged along to your superior’s office, dropping off some of the files before heading back to your own office, not looking forward to report writing the next few hours. You barely registered the presence of someone else in the hallway next to you, your surroundings unimportant as you pleaded with the universe to let you hide away in your office, alone and unbothered.

The universe was not so kind.

“You look like shit,” Levi commented, his eyebrows knitted in concern.

You snorted as you kept walking. “Thanks, Captain.”

Normally you would have a sarcastic remark at the ready, but you weren’t in the mood.

“Are you sick?” He walked in time with you.

You hesitated before answering. “I… don’t feel well.”

Levi quickly moved away several inches.

“It’s not contagious,” you added. His expression was unreadable.

“You haven’t eaten much lately.” he observed.

“Not hungry,” you replied, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Shitty excuse. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, okay? I’m fine,” you said through clenched teeth, fighting the urge to scream. You didn’t want him to know of your internal pain. You couldn’t show Humanity’s Strongest Soldier how weak you were. You picked up the pace to your office as Levi walked right next to you, offering you silent companionship. Under different circumstances you would be chatting away with the man, but right now you wanted to wallow in your despair by yourself and not be questioned about your lack of food or hygiene.

“This is me. I’ll see you around.”

You tried to slam the door closed as fast as you could, but his lithe leg was faster, blocking it with his foot.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m tired, that’s all,” you tried to reason, hoping he would either believe you or get the hint you really didn’t want to talk about this with him. Levi peeked behind you and caught a glimpse of your office, making him frown at what he saw. Your desk, usually rivaling his level of cleanliness and organization, was such a mess that he could barely stomach it. You noticed his eyes wandering and you shoved yourself closer into the doorframe to block his view.

“Anything else I can help you with?” you asked, clearly frustrated with him.

“No. Take care of yourself, L/n. I have no need for a squad leader who can’t perform at their best.”

With that, he pulled his boot from your doorframe and left you to replay those words over and over in your head.

As Levi left your office, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with you. Your desk being such a wreck was totally out of the norm. Obviously you were lying about only being tired, but he didn’t know what the source of your issues was. Walking down the hallway, he saw that your bedroom door was left ajar. He wasn’t one to invade others’ privacy, but you were acting quite strange and, as a captain, he had a duty to make sure his peers were alright. Well, you two were more than peers anyway; he considered you a close friend and a trustworthy comrade. He hated seeing your lack of motivation, knowing you were capable of so much more, and thought his harsh words earlier would give you the boost you needed to get a grip and snap out of your funk.

What he saw when he opened your bedroom door made his skin crawl.

Your normally tidy, clean room was in a state of utter chaos. Your clothes were strewn haphazardly all over the place, your bed wasn’t made, sheets falling on the floor. Your gear wasn’t cleaned properly, nor was it resting in its rightful place. What was going on with you? He left as quickly as he came in, having seen enough. You hadn’t been cleaning or eating, two important daily tasks that never slipped your mind. You looked like you hadn’t bathed in many days or been bothered to monitor your appearance whatsoever. You weren’t ill because you wouldn’t lie to him about not being contagious.

So what was it?

He thought about your glassy, empty eyes. Your expression was mostly neutral, but he could see through the facade you were putting up; you were deeply troubled by something.

You were suffering mentally and he had just now noticed.

He cursed at himself for not realizing it earlier. Between his own never ending piles of work and lack of sleep, more so than usual, he hadn’t noticed the signs of you pulling away from everyone until much too late. His mind reeled at what he should do next. There were so many things that needed to be done to kickstart your healing process, he just didn’t know where to start.

Actually, he did.

It had been hours and you had barely written anything on the paper in front of you, your brain unable to focus on work long enough to form professional sentences. You wanted to rip the stack of papers into teeny little shreds, take out your mental anguish on something tangible. You thought back to what Levi had said: he had no need for you, since, clearly, you were as far from your best as you could ever be. You couldn’t even find it within yourself to care, numbness overtaking you. It was just a matter of time before you were fired, discharged, and thrown to the streets. Maybe there you could disappear for good…

Knocks at your door interrupted your spiraling thoughts.

“Name and business,” you called out, less than enthused.

“It’s Levi. Open up.”

You groaned. You didn’t want him to see your office in disarray, though you suspected he had seen enough earlier.

“Is it urgent?”

“I’ll kick down the door if you don’t let me in.”

“Guess that’s a yes,” you grumbled under your breath.

“No need to damage government property. It’s unlocked,” you told him, hinges creaking as he stepped inside. In his hands were a steaming cup of tea and some bread that he set in front of you.

“Here. You can’t starve yourself,” he said.

“I appreciate the gesture but I’m not hungry,” you reiterated.

“Stop being so damn stubborn and have at least a little bite. Or drink the tea. I won’t watch you waste away,” he argued, irises aflame with an intense emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. You didn’t want to be a further disappointment so you nibbled on the bread, your stomach coming to life with gurgles of hunger as you swallowed the welcome nutrients. Levi looked around for a place to sit but all of your chairs were occupied by opened books and papers you hadn’t stacked neatly.

“Sorry about the mess, you can just stick those on the floor with the other piles,” you said, embarrassed at your lack of tidying. He took a seat and watched you intently as you ate and drank. When he was satisfied with the progress of your meal, he spoke up.

“I’m not… good… with my words,” he started, more hesitant than you’d ever known him to be, “but I want you to know that I’m available for you no matter what. I won’t let you suffer alone.”

“Really, Levi, I appreciate it, but it’s nothing, I’m-”

“Your office is a mess and your room is a disaster. Your mannerisms have changed. I know you, y/n, I know something’s off. I failed at seeing it sooner and I let you down.”

His gray eyes bore into your own. “But I’m here now. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you from losing yourself. Whatever you need.”

Your gaze dropped to your desk.

“I don’t know what I need,” you whispered. “I don’t know what I need to feel better. To make all of this go away.”

“That means we won’t stop trying things until we find a solution,” Levi responded, resolute in his statement.

“We?” you asked, uncertain of what he meant.

“That’s what I said. You’re not fighting on your own. We’re in this together.”

“But I’m weak for feeling like this. I don’t want to be another burden on you or anyone else.”

You couldn’t dare look Levi in the eyes during your confession, afraid of how he was viewing you as you displayed your most vulnerable moments out in the open like this. He stood abruptly from his chair, the sound of wood scraping on wood echoing through your office. He leaned over you, his hands gentle yet firm on your shoulders.

“Look at me.” You slowly raised your head as he addressed you, his bangs hanging haphazardly over his forehead. “Don’t ever say something so stupid like that again. This is not weakness and you’re not a burden. That’s your shitty brain lying to you. I will repeat this as many times as I need to until your ears bleed or your mind starts believing it.”

He gave your shoulders one last squeeze before unhanding you. “You can talk to me if that helps. I might not have the right words but I’ll listen. It’s a hell of a lot better than keeping it bottled up inside. I’ve seen soldiers swallow it down until they couldn’t stand it any longer. I won’t let that happen to you, too.”

You nodded in understanding, taking in a big breath before letting it out. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll try… talking about it.”

“Good. You do that while I’ll clean this pig sty you call an office.”

You laughed for the first time in weeks. Levi felt himself smile softly at the joyous sound he had missed for so long, his heart beating a little quicker at the way your expression was lively once again.

Your venting session with Levi went extremely well. You felt like the weights had been lifted off your shoulders a little bit. Obviously you weren’t cured and knew these feelings were going to linger and could strike at any time, but it was nice knowing you had someone to turn to when things looked bleak. Your office, now spotless due to his efforts, also contributed to your mind feeling more organized.

“Four eyes has good advice, too, but you might get experimented on so be careful,” Levi said, making you laugh for the second time that day. Before he left, he made you swear that you would eat dinner. “I’ll personally drag your ass to the dining hall,” is specifically what he said, and you wholeheartedly believed him.

“Thanks again,” you told him as he reached for the door handle. “I genuinely don’t know what I would do without you.”

He froze.

“You’ll never have to know,” he eventually uttered, taking his leave.

Later that night, when your work was finished and your stomach was full of food, you huffed in annoyance when you remembered the state your room was in. Bracing yourself for the disappointing scene, you opened your door to:

A clean room?

You walked inside, confused as could be. Your sheets were back on your bed, everything crisply tucked in. Your clothes were put away, both hanging up and folded neatly in your dresser drawers. Even your gear, which was left covered in muck and dirt from your last training session, was shining as brightly as the day it was first issued to you.

There was only one person you knew who could clean that precisely and quickly.

Your attention was caught by a sachet of tea and a small piece of paper left on your nightstand. You picked up the note, a tear staining your cheek as you read the meticulous penmanship.

Here’s some of my favorite tea. It’s brought me comfort in the past so I hope the same for you.

If you don’t know how to brew it correctly, come find me.

Like I said before, take care of yourself.

I believe in you.

—Levi

[snickerdoodlles]

📒📓📔📕???? Pretty please :3

❤❤!

sometimes @majestictortoise and i toss around story ideas that are less plot and more of us just chucking our favorite things in the communal soup pot and letting them stew. case in point:

Kim and Porsche meet first AU! 🥳

Porsche rescues Kim from mafia thugs

why does Kim need rescuing? unimportant! what matters is Porsche sees a nong in need and rushes to his rescue. Kinn-shaped people get charged 50k baht for his assistance, Kim-shaped people get help whether they like it or not. and afterwards Kim, who's father taught him that everything has a cost and how to keep a mental ledger of favors and debts, tries to pay Porsche off for the help.

Porsche, who's 'tips' have always been for sex work, sees the wad of cash and goes "you want a post-fight fuck????"

Kim, an awkward turtle-duck, bolts away like ???nO????!!!!!!

Kim hires Porsche as a bodyguard

how did we get from "hire me for sex?" to "hire me for protection?" unimportant! what matters is Kim secures Porsche for himself and Porsche thinks "how hard can guarding one moderately popular youtube star be?" and the raccoon shenanigans that ensue. and, of course, Kim finding the connection between their families and investigating his own hire. then 2 days later, because Kim doesn't have a crush to draw out the investigation and Porsche couldn't do subterfuge to save his life, Kim confronts Porsche with his evidence and Porsche goes "what the FUCK do you mean our families are CONNECTED?!" and these two going full gremlin investigator mode together.

Porsche brings Kim home

when exactly does this happen? unimportant! what matters is Porsche and Kim smuggle themselves into the neighborhood late at night, which results in Chay looking up from playing a videogame or doing homework or whatever to see his brother standing there with ✨Wik✨ in his own living room and his first response is "why'd you bring me my favorite musician" because clearly that is the only reason why his beloved older brother, who keeps trying to give him the moon and stars even though he didn't ask for them, would bring home Wik. also;

Chay: *thinks about his idol wall one floor above* Kim: *stares at cute boy* Porsche: i see i'm not needed here

Chay learns Porsche is mafia

how exactly does this come up? unimportant! what matters is:

"he's mafia" "i don't care that Kim's mafia, why are YOU mafia hia!!!!" "...i'll just uh... be over..... there......." Kim says to no one before awkwardly shuffling himself off to a corner.

naturally, this is when Kinn decides to show up

why does he choose now to stop by? because older brother instincts drive you to always be the most annoying person in the room, next. Kim hired a guard out of nowhere without telling Kinn or Papa and the guy's stayed on for longer than 24 hours, Kinn is suspicious as shit and worried as hell. he's been keeping it under wraps, but Kim and Porsche trying to fly under the radar right now gives him a good opportunity to investigate. and lo and behold, Kim appears to have made two new friends, one of whom keeps making him blush and the other who's the prettiest man Kinn's ever seen. Kinn is absolutely not just leaving Kim, he wants to know everything 👀

Kinn, Porsche, Kim, and Chay get snatched ala ep5

why are they kidnapped? unimportant! we do not question kidnapping plots in this household. Kinn, Porsche, Kim, and Chay all escape into the jungle but get separated. Kinn and Porsche have a journey not unlike ep6, except with more yelling, more bickering, and more trolling. Porsche's view of Kinn is colored by Kim not the guards here and then his main introduction is in the jungle not the compound, so he's charmed pretty quickly and judging himself for it every time Kinn falls back on his asshole training. Kinn's main introduction to Porsche is a caring guy who's also a troll and won't hesitate to punch him in the dick when he's being a jerk so...not too much changed there, actually. they are still handcuffed together.

Kim and Chay are having a nice time. bonding over music, trading stories about brothers, asking questions so that they can unravel Korn's 15 year long conspiracy--it's basically a scenic date. they are not handcuffed together because Kim carries three lockpick sets minimum at all times and was out of the handcuffs before they were even out of the truck. Kim and Chay are just holding hands, because Chay asked Kim to hold his hand, and Kim grabbed it saying it's the best way to ensure they aren't separated, and Chay responded "that's nice, but i asked because i want to hold your hand," and Kim blushed bright red. nerds.

the four of them reunite...eventually, idk when, but the first thing Chay does when he sees Porsche across the ravine is holler "DID YOU REALLY THINK KIM WAS PAYING YOU FOR SEX HIA" and Kinn's head snaps around so fast Kim and Porsche get secondhand whiplash.

Korn dies

how does this happen? unimportant! but he's dead before the fic ends.

[[ fics im not writing ]]

[themotherofallthings]

Someone give Louis Tomlinson his flowers already!

I woke up early this morning, as I often do, thanks to years of working and horrible insomnia. And like most mornings these last few years, I grab my phone and begin to scroll my twitter feed. Louis had a show last night and I wanted to catch up on anything I might've missed once the show had ended and I headed to bed. Per usual, there is a lot of beautiful pics and tweets from concert attendees, waxing poetic about how good the show was and how proud of Louis they are. Typical fare for this fandom, nothing new to add.

I keep scrolling and I land an account, tweet sharing what looks like snippets from an "article" or "blog piece" (not sure which) from the "Medium". I stop dead in my tracks and read the multiple tweet thread of the most biased, vile drivel I've come across in a long time. And I've been here a while.

Firstly, opinions are just that, opinions. And this person's opinions are theirs and theirs alone but sadly, speak to a larger issue within music, the industry and the fandom experience itself.

This writer attended a Louis show with a friend who was a fan. Their only "knowledge" of him coming from this friend & any indirect knowledge because of his time in One Direction. But from the outset, the writing and pov, comes off immediately biased and judge-y.

"a sea of teeth in braces, puffy cheeks and pigtail buns" - commenting on the appearances of the young fans - note - very young fans "Most attendees are too young to drink legally". Because that's what matters about attending a show. Moving on.

"There are no dancers, there is no set piece, there is no stage show, no performance, no outfit changes"

Every artist curates their live show for themselves & their fans. To achieve the best possible experience and set expectations of how the night is going to go.

Louis has no illusions here. He is not "the greatest showman that ever lived" and HAS NEVER PRETENDED to be. He is a straightforward musician who's job it is to sing and engage with the fans. Which he does. For anyone paying attention, he's definitely come a very long way from those 1st early shows and is far more relaxed than he was back then. BUT and this is a huge but, to see and understand this, you have to know his journey and his story, which this person does not (though she does allude to knowledge of AOTV).

She even comments on it by calling him "the least memorable person in a lineup of five" the very criticism he levelled at himself. It's a gut punch to read a rando say something like this, which, we as his fans know, is something he had always been made to feel like while he was in the band, despite most of the 1D fans acknowleding the loved Louis, as did all the guys. Niall, calling him "the glue; the guy who made sure they didn't lose the plot". This is all surface, she doesn't know really know or see him or his lost potential. Nor is she likley to care.

The other thing that I find troubling, aside from her personal views of his singing talent and lacklustre show and personality, is the comments levelled at fans and their enjoyoment/appreciation of 'good music'.

I won't get into the 3 "types of fans" that she describes present at the show she attended because it doesn't matter to the point of my rant (though is it pretty basic & lacking nuisance but I digress). The one label that did stick out was the "cheerleader fan" and her opinion that these fans are only here to support Louis - who by her own opinion and pov, stated was the least successful/memorable and "is forever defined against his more popular former band mate" for unknown reasons. I'm assuming she thinks they are here because they find him cute? Not sure.

"For the Underdog Cheerleaders, it’s not about music so much as it is about identifying with... the least memorable person in a lineup of five" because identifying with an artist is problematic? Dumb? Unimportant? Allow me to show you the stadiums filled with Taylor's fans, who all identify with her and her music.

That is sort of the fan's job. To support and champion their fave, especially when they are not given their proper due. Now I'm not mentioning TS and comparing her to Louis or vice versa, that woman has GOTTEN ALL HER FLOWERS and good for her, but she goes on to claim that "his lines are almost comically generic" speaking about his songwriting. This clearly tells me she wasn't paying attention or was at the bar or bathroom & must've been absent when Copy of a Copy of a Copy was performed. Or when he sang All this Time or Holding on to Heartache. Because you would have to be dead inside to not have had a reaction to the bridge of HOTH & not hear the emotion in his voice as exhales those words, "Nothing's ever easy, to be honest, I'm not easy on myself". Those lines cut me and left me bleeding on the side of the road when I first heard them. But you know, comicially generic. Whatever.

This entire article reads like a hit piece bought and paid for by some industry insider. She literally lists every critiques antis, toxic Harries and Swifties and even Simon himself have levelled at Louis over the years. But this article doesn't require a conspiracy theory to explain. She doesn't like Louis. Or his music. She finds him boring, and apparently isn't a "deep enough lyricist" for her cold, cerebal mind to engage with.

"I’m left wondering what all these thousands of young fans really care about...it doesn’t really seem to be about the music...at its innermost core, this fandom is about itself."

Let me first say this, music, like most are is subjective. It's personal taste. Some fans love country. Some love rock. Some love Classic metal punk with a side of Beethoven. It's music and because it is one of the most uniquie artforms, its enthusiasts will engage and appreciate it for different reasons. And one of the most amazing things about being a fan of music in this day and age, is fandom.

I am old as fuck. And I can genuinely say that being a fan of music since I was 8 years old and first discovered what the radio did in my parent's living room, I have been a fucking fan. But I grew up in a time where there were no online fandoms. No one to scream about Simon's cute outfit or Billy's snarling at an interviewer that one time, or dying with when Jon BonJovi cut his hair. It was a different fan experience back then. There was no online community. No fandom family to go through it with you when Wham broke up.

Fandom has always been controversial because it has always mostly been made up of young women. And young women have had their taste in music disrespected and vilified for decades (starting with the Beetles). Research it. So I find it kind of sad this writer questions why these fans love Louis and his music so much. Because the reasons don't matter. There are many or none. They just are. That's sort of how art works. You feel it. You don't really see it with your eyes but your mind. Your skins senses it before your heart does. And that is how music is or should be. It should not just be about catchy pop one liners or streams or charting. It's about how it makes you feel. The memories it in invokes when you hear a song many years later. It's the way we still remember the words to that one song from the summer during our 3rd year of high school. How do you quantify that? You can't.

I grew up during a very rich and varied musical landscape, so when I tell you that I have loved almost every genre of music, I have loved it for many, many different reasons. Sometimes (when I was younger) because the lead singer was cute and dressed nice and other times because the beat/bop was too good to ignore to not want to sing from the top of my lungs. NEVER ONCE DID I CARE IF THE LYRICS WERE "GENERIC" or that it wasn't popular among my friends or that it didn't fill my head with mythical imagery. If it made me happy and it entertained me, then it was enough for me. Not every artist is going to be Bob fucking Dylan or Taylor Swift. And that's okay. But Louis IS a great song writer and he himself has said he's not big on writing metaphors and cares more about conveying an emotion and a moment in time and we find that engaging. We are still moved when he sings "Saved by Stranger" or Paradise or Change. Because they are good songs that convey a particular moment, sentiment or emotion we can all connect with.

Look, I respect that not everyone is going to 'get' everyone's fave. I don't get Taylor Swift, but I can acknowledge that she has talent but I don't fucking need a show to enjoy her music. But she does that because SHE enjoys that and it definitely helps justify the cost of her tickets. No disrespect, I blame TM for that, mostly.

"To his credit, he really doesn’t pretend to be more than he is — that’s all other people‘s doing"

And that is sort of the point of him. He is not pretending to be something he is not. He is geniune and down to earth and not full of himself like so many other successful artists are and can be. He earned the right to put on airs coming out of 1D and their success. But he doesn't. He says, "this is who I am, take it or leave it" and for his fans, they take it, in spades.

So go read the article for context (or don't - it's probably better for you blood pressure & mental health) but understand that this one person's pov, is not going change who we are as a fandom. We see something in Louis that resonants with us. Maybe it's the "underdog" mentality. Maybe it's the 'cute lad from the north of England' vibe. Maybe it's his no nonsense approach to song writing and performing, but there is no denying there is something about Louis Tomlinson that draws you to him. You want to engage with him. You want to sing his songs. And you do. We all do.

So please, someone give this man his flowers. They are long fucking over due.

[thesynthesist]

Foiled: How Do We React to Fate? Sophie vs Howl

So I just got around to reading the book Howl's Moving Castle, which I've meant to do for quite a while now and I have thoughts! This will have nothing to do with the movie so here's your warning to get off now if that's what you're looking for.

So our protagonist is Sophie, an Eldest Child, who worst than generally being the eldest, is also the eldest in a land that runs on fairy tale rules, where the eldest is often a failure in a quest, especially when you have two younger same gender siblings, as Sophie does.

One of the first things we learn about Sophie is that she has resigned herself to this and her life of labour and unimportance. We also learn that Sophie is kind and empathetic almost to the point of her own detriment - it appears part of the reason she has resigned herself to this fate is on behalf of her sisters whom she genuinely cares for. She doesn't begin to show any bitterness about her position until she is essentially the family hat shop's sole overworked employee who is not receiving a salary.

Once she confronts her step mother about this and truly doesn't receive an answer is one of the first times we see Sophie really experience a lasting negative emotion directed at another person but this doesn't really come to anything besides Sophie getting a bit rude with customers who are rude first. Sophie does not think of leaving the shop, in fact we don't even get any clear indication that she intends to bring the wage conversation back up with her step mother any time soon. In fact, when Sophie runs into her step mother again later in the book, she reacts with her usual empathy rather than feeling upset that being left alone in the shop was ultimately what got her cursed in the first place.

It's only once the Witch of the Wastes curses her that Sophie decides she's had all about the resignation she can manage and sets out of her own. While her change in form is both reflective of how Sophie sees herself - a person without a life before it's even begun - it also gives her an excuse within how she believes fate to work to go off. After all, once you've been cursed by a witch to be elderly when you've maybe lived the better part of two decades, how much more failing can you really do? Even as Sophie sets off to 'find her fortune' as she puts it, she's in part only doing so because now she believes fate will allow it. She has stepped out of the eldest sister role at the start of the story and into a completely different role entirely. This may also be why Howl remarks he decided Sophie 'liked being disguised'. If Sophie returns to her youth, to herself, even if that may have physical benefits and add 60 years back onto her life, in her mind she returns to being trapped by fate, destined to be lonely and overlooked. Even when she's doing magic and actively improving the lives around her, she internally laments how her efforts are not enough and doomed to failure because of her position as first born.

Then there's Howl.

Howl is immediately painted as someone on the run from everything. He doesn't like to answer questions directly and will ignore them or change the subject, he's only in love with women until they love him back and then he no longer cares. He reacts to responsibility and day to day concerns such as cleaning, with an air of flippancy and seems to put his appearance above all else.

In fact, he wants to be seen as so unreliable that he has rumours spread about himself so people will think he's evil and not bother coming around. Howl himself admits that he doesn't like to be pinned down and we find out later that he is both physically and metaphorically on the run from a curse.

Even as he treats his apprentice well and goes out of his way for Sophie, and returns to visit his family on a regular basis, he persistently puts on an air of irresponsibility. His sister despairs that he'll never clean up his act when he shows up at her house in a rugby jacket, but we see moments before that Howl magically changes the clothes that they're wearing. He could have presented himself to his sister with as much flair and vanity as he does in the world Sophie is from but he makes the consistent choice to show up to his sister's house as a bit of a shlub.

Despite appearing to be polar opposites Howl and Sophie have one very important thing in common, they have both accepted fate as a force that moves the world that they will be subject to. And even with the character growth they both experience, which appears to be largely switching perspectives on fate and responsibility with Howl stepping up to take responsibility for things that need doing even if that leaves him fated to ruination, while Sophie rages against the unfairness of it all and seeks a way out, even if it isn't for herself.

This shared view drastically shapes both Sophie and Howl's characters and how they interact with the world around them, even though this belief is not grounded in reality. The book presents Sophie's sisters and to some extent Howl's apprentice as examples of how this world despite its magic is not so much beholden to fate as it is to other people's expectations.

Sophie's sisters, instead of accepting their lots which Sophie feels are appropriate for their birth order and likely fated roles because of it, simply switch places and get along quite famously. To top it off, instead of the youngest falling in love with or even seeking to marry royalty she falls in love quite happily with Howl's orphaned apprentice, while the middle sister handily side steps her 'fate' of falling desperately in love with the disreputable wizard Howl.

Even with these examples right in front of them, Sophie and Howl cannot shake their internalized perceptions of what they should be.

Sophie, while visiting her sister's witchcraft tutor, is asked if she's where her sister gets magic from as it runs in families. Despite being told almost directly to her face that she has magical powers, it's not until chapters later after being told again that she accepts it, and even longer for her to fully claim it and begin actively working with the power she possesses.

Whereas Howl refuses to pay attention long enough to his curse or the Witch of the Waste to really do anything about it. He knew Sophie had magical powers and knew that his own were quite formidable, and his gallivanting about - in part to keep up the appearances that he was a good for nothing self indulgent irresponsible man - and in part to actually be self indulgent most likely worsened how bad the fight was as it gave the Witch of the Waste more time to prepare and gave the curse enough time catch up with him.

Yet this paradigm is also what allows Sophie and Howl help each other. While they might not understand why the other reacts like they do, on some level they recognize what they're reacting to is the same. While Sophie doesn't understand her magic enough to suggest anything direct, she does take the curse seriously because the way the story goes it will be a problem that needs dealing with. She might not be able to do magic but she can deal with problems head on, that's what being the eldest and responsible is about. Howl might not be able to understand why Sophie wants to look like an old woman but he understands why disguises are important and is willing to give her a place where she can escape the fate that she thinks is following her.

So while Howl and Sophie are incapable of seeing themselves and what they are truly capable of clearly, they are perhaps the only two people in the narrative who are capable of fully seeing each other.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Thinking about episode endings after a full series rewatch, and how well they are each crafted, and how they play into the character's arcs and trajectories. It's very consistent, too. OFMD's episode endings are meticulously designed and leave you with a very specific mood you are supposed to take away from each episode.

Episode 1? The plot is a mixed bag of moods, funny and heartbreaking both as we learn about Stede's past and his not so super successful pirate career. We see Stede begin to bond with his crew a bit towards the end, seeming to start finding his footing in piracy. He defeats an old bully. Nigel gets what he had coming for him, really. The Revenge crew ends the episode celebrating, the ship flying all of their flags as a sign for the community they will come to be. Stede through? Stede ends the episode crying. Alone. Isolated from his crew. Isolated and appearing like a strong manly man who killed a bully. But it isn't what is good for him. The music is sad. Stede's sad. He misses his family. He's alone and adrift. Not a happy ending. Not even a very hopeful ending.

Episode 2 is better. Stede didn't only go on an adventure and was successful at it, he is healing from his guilt over Badminton, not because he now became a bloodthirsty killer pirate, but because he found support and care and human connection from the tribal elder and from beginning to actually bond with his crew. The ending ia hopeful, with music that fits this vibe. Stede is getting better. He's finding his own way to do things now. Instead of trying to fit the mould of default pirate captains, he'll be a polite menace. That'll be his own brand. (We are told this early that characters will be happy and successful if they receive love and support and can lead lives that fit their personality. This theme continues throughout. This show is super consistent with its concepts.)

Episode 3 is funny because throughout it seems to be going well(ish) for Stede, but the ending is a disaster. He's nearly dead when the episode draws to a close. And yet, the ending feels super hopeful, with the music and Ed's appearance. It doesn't matter that Stede is the worst pirate captain in history; the love of his life just walked on stage!

The mood in episode 4 is influenced heavily by getting to actually know Ed and by Ed and Stede meeting and their immediate chemistry. With the fuckery and the marmalade breakfast, it feels like it's off to a happy ending, but then Ed feels like he has to wrap his wish to retire into a Blackbeard suitable coat for Izzy, and there goes the happy mood. Ed's face when he turns his back on Izzy kills me every time, because this is not the face of a man who wants to commit a spot of murder. This is the face of a man treading water, waiting to drown. And "The Empty Boat"? Fuck. (This ending is the Ed-version of us being told that a) traditional piracy is not a good way of life and b) that bending ourselves to fit an expectation is going to harm us.)

Episode 5 has a hopeful ending. Romantic moment under a full moon, even after a bad time at the fancy party. Because the fancy party is unimportant, what's important is that you have someone on your side who accepts and supports you.

And this goes on through the entire show. The ending of an episode tells us exactly if things are good or bad for our protagonists. Episodes have hopeful, happy endings when they individually work towards being true to themselves and doing what makes them happy, regardless of what others might think, and when they are together. This is a romance, the show is the relationship, and things end well when they are together and in tune. Co-captains! The Chain! They end this episode tied up by the Navy, but it's a hopeful, good ending because they are together. Ed came back (never left).

They are miserable when apart and when trying to live according to outsider ideals. Episode 9 and 10 have sad endings, 10 slightly less because Stede's part is hopeful, but it doesn't really save us from the misery of Ed sobbing in the window. I could cry over the ending credits to Impossible Birds every time, how do they make this song feel so fucking sad? Ed's little "dismissed"?😭 And the utter silence and storm sounds, no music, after Ed's broken "Finally"? Fuck. They want us to get out of these episodes feeling utterly destroyed, and they are successful. It doesn't even matter that even those dark episodes at the end of season one and beginning of season two have plenty of actually funny and hopeful moments, because this sad endingis the feeling that stays with you.

But the moment they are back together? They're holding hands so tightly. There's a little life still there. A lot of strength left. S2 Episode 3 is a very heavy episode throughout, but the ending? So light and hopeful.

Episodes 4, 5 and 6 are like the opposite to the beginning of S1. There is conflict, and healing, many different moods, they aren't all light and funny episodes throughout, but each of them ends on a beautiful song and with Ed and Stede having a moment that brings them closer together. They're on the right way, and you can feel it. (Compare Episode 6's ending to the ending of the pilot. Stede killed a man who deserved it. He was crying after. But this time, he isn't isolated and alone. Ed's there to comfort him. This episode doesn't end with a sad song and Stede crying. It ends with a love song and fireworks while Ed and Stede make love for the first time and find comfort in each other. It's a similar situation in the beginning, but then it really isn't.)

Episode 7 has them both fumbling and falling back into bad patterns, and the ending isn't light and happy again, because they aren't.

But Episode 8? It's such an exciting whirlwind. The fights with the navy, the lovely letter, the reunion kiss. "I love you." "I know." Izzy's death. Episode 8 is a rollercoaster. But its ending? So happy and hopeful. They're together. They're doing what's good for them. The Revenge sails into the sunset. Ed and Stede have no second thoughts. Good bones. They're gonna be fine and happy and together.

I don't even know if this is a sensible analysis, but I feel like the endings of each episode just flow so well with the character arcs and allover plot. It feels very coherent. Like it's a theme. Like it was done on purpose. I know they wanted a third season and I'll be forever mad we didn't get it, but the two seasons that we got fit really well on a classic dramatic structure. Things kinda suck for the protagonists in the beginning, then it gets better when they grow as people and grow closer, then oops, catastrophe, and then everyone heals and things fall into place. And you can tell by the mood of the episode endings which part of this allover narrative arc you're on. I just think it's neat. It's very tight story telling.

(Also, looking at it like this, I'm pretty convinced they knew how likely a cancellation was the entire time they were writing s2. They hoped, sure, but they wrote not just the season finale, but the second season's entire arc with that in mind. It's written like the second half of a full story. The catastrophe is smack in the middle. Season 2 's arc steadily moves towards the happy ending. Good Omens' second season -comparable because they were both planned to be three part stories with similar runtimes - ends like OFMD's first season. GO S2 feels, in its entirety, like the middle of a story. It is continuously rising action, moving steadily towards disaster. OFMD's S2 moves steadily away from it starting in its third episode. This is written to be a full story. Yes there would have been more story to tell. But they wrote it to be complete anyway. It's baked into its very structure.)

[faroreswinds]

So I just skimmed Good Omens Season 2. Some spoilers below in case anyone who follows me cares about Good Omens.

It's a bit of a train of messy thoughts than anything structured.

It's interesting that God is entirely absent. She was the narrator throughout season 1, but was never really an antagonistic force. Rather, she was a force who simply had an agenda that not even her own angels understood. She had a Plan. And it was working. She's fucking God, after all.

Her absence here is therefore very notable. There are moments in the season that really make God seem less mysterious and more sinister. If the story extends from S1 properly, though, it would be more in line for God if she knew that Aziraphale would intervene. Again, she's God. She already knows what will happen. But we can't be sure, because they removed her voice.

Of course, God in the Bible can be quite wrathful. But any Christian worth their salt knows that the Bible stories are mostly a load of nonsense, and are really just tales to teach lessons.

I disagree with some of the discourse I read about S2. Lots of fans seem to think Aziraphale has "religious trauma", I take I entirely disagree with. Aziraphale represents what Heaven should be. And he believes, truly, that Heaven should be good.

However, he's not stupid. He's naive. But that's not stupidety. He knows Heaven can be cruel and at odds with the image it thinks it projects and what it does project. He literally starts the season avoiding angels in general.

So when he goes with Metatron, and hears about the Second Coming, we see his face for a moment. He knows that the Second Coming is not going to be a good thing.

I believe that also plays into his decision to walk into the elevator. He not only believes he can do good, truly, for humanity and for Crowley, but I think he will seek to thwart or find ways to stop the Second Coming from the inside.

He doesn't want the world to end. He's not about just killing people because of God's supposed Will. He would have to be pretty brainwashed to go along with whatever Heaven tells him to do without attempting to change it even a little bit.

I don't think he's suspicious of Metatron yet. He does truly believe in Heaven's goodness and thinks he can finally go the greatest good in his new position. That's where his naiveté lies. But I don't think he's going to be a complete puppet in season 3.

I would be shocked if he was.

Anyways, some little trivia on the Metadron for anyone. His inclusion is quite interesting.

The Bible itself does not mention him. He's mentioned the books of Enoch, which are not considered religious texts in Christianity. He is also mentioned in the Talmud, another text unimportant to Christians but an important text for Judaism.

An interesting choice, considering Good Omens plays upon Christianity moreso than the other Abrahamic religions. But according to Christianity, this angel doesn't exist.

So who is this guy? Well, according to the texts that DO mention him, he is the second most powerful being in the universe, second only to God. He was once a man named Enoch, who ascended into Heaven without dying and became an angel. He was given a throne next to God's. He is God's scribe, and one of the few angels who is allowed to look upon the Almighty.

He is also thought to guard the Tree of Life, and to write down the good deeds of the people on earth in the Book of Life.

I bring up the Book of Life because the show did. They only mention it a few times, but they say that Aziraphale could be erased from the Book of Life if they find he was involved with the runaway Gabriel. This, in turn, would erase him from existence. Forever.

Now the Book of Life does appear in the Bible. And it does record the names of those who who had done good deeds. But it seems to have some debate if one can be erased from the Book once one's name is in it. Some texts say you can't have your name erased. Other texts might imply that it's possible.

I'm not an expert enough to claim what is supposed to be true.

In the show, erasing one's name is a possibility. And it's not just the humans who have their names in the book, but the angels as well (and most likely demons too). Your existence relies on being written in the book. So it functions a little differently than the religious texts state it does.

Although, if it's true that everyone existing needs to have their name in the Book of Life... then why didn't the Heavenly beings just erase the Demons from it? Would have won their war in seconds. Kinda feel like this inclusion wasn't exactly thought through. Unless it was all a trick from the beginning? After all, Crowley didn't believe it was real (and he was a pretty high-ranking angel before he fell, at least a Throne or Dominion, or above. Thrones rank the third highest types of angels and Dominion's the fourth, btw, so that's pretty dang high).

Idk. Hopefully, S3 will clear that bit up.

If Neil and Terry's ranking is anything similar to the rankings as presented in the Bible, then Michael and the other archangels are ranked actually quite low. Second from the lowest, in fact. Angels are the lowest, then the archangels above them.

This would mean that Crowley outranked Michael and the others by a lot.

Of course, I don't think Neil and Terry used the Bible's hierarchy. There are a lot more ranks (at least 38), and the inclusion of Metadron makes things spicy.

Metadron is classified as an archangel. But he's also supposed to be the highest ranking angel in existence. Not to mention he's not a Christian angel. The other religions have their own rankings for their angels. So I don't think they went with this model.

Anyways. I'm surprised some people were bothered by the kiss. I thought it made sense. Of all the demons and angels, Crowley and Aziraphale are the most human. They do human things and enjoy human pleasures. They laugh, use sarcasm, eat, love. And come on, S1 they were clearly in love. Even if they hadn't realized. Even Neil said it was a love story years ago, so Crowley kissing Aziraphale is most certainly not out of left field.

They may be played by men and use male pronouns, but canonically, they are sexless and immortal beings. Who have spent the past 6000 years playing footsie with each other and having their hearts flutter whenever one does something a little good, or the other do something a little bit naughty.

It's really a shame that this is more of a backstory season meant to set up the real story of S3. I hope they bring God back.

I'm curious how Metadron will play into all of this. He's an oddity.

First of all, he's the only angel to wear black. The rest wear white and gold, but him? Entirely black.

Second, he's the only angel who seems to be aware of how to seem human, besides Aziraphale of course. The other angels are entirely oblivious to the ways of humanity, but this dude strolled in and ordered a coffee. He knows what reading is. He knows stuff.

He presents himself as a kindly old man, but he's also clearly not one. He has ulterior motives. But unlike the other angels, who couldn't hide their intentions if they tried, this guy expertly presented a false facade with ease.

There's no doubt that he is a superior being to all of them.

He does briefly appear in Season 1, when Aziraphale tries to speak to God. Interestingly, Aziraphale seems confused at who the Metadron is, as if he never heard of him before. And while a few online sources claim the Metadron is God (since he is the Voice of the Almighty), I don't really believe them to be the same (and neither did Aziraphale).

Oh, and if you are wondering what rank Aziraphale is, he's a Principality. The third lowest ranking angel. He's actually supposed to be a higher rank than Michael but isn't treated as such, which is why I don't think Neil and Terry went with the Biblical rankings.

It's really a shame season 3 won't be around for a while. I'm curious where they will go from here.

[akaraboonline]

When a guy doesn't text back, it's a sign that he's not interested.

Although modern dating and texting go hand in hand, the unanswered text remains an all too common mystery. If you're particularly clueless about the subject, here's how to decipher it: He's not interested, so no response is a response. When a guy doesn't respond to a text, the silence tells you everything you need to know.

Why No Response Is A Response When It Comes To Waiting For A Guy’s Texts

Guys who are actually interested will make time for you. Everyone is busy, but if a guy truly cares, he will go to any length to be in your life. That means he will not leave you hanging on a text message. He'll text you back because he wants to talk to you. Seeing your name appear on his phone will make him happy, not irritated, and he'll be happy to shoot over a few words to keep the conversation going. Texting someone back takes less than a minute. Some guys act as if texting is a huge hassle and an unreasonable request, but consider the reality of that thought process. When you receive a message, your phone notifies you, and the notification remains until you check the message. Even if he doesn't have time right now, he can't just ignore the red bubble staring him in the face. Texting back usually takes less than a minute when he does open the message. Would any of you like to explain why that's unreasonable? You deserve better than mixed signals. If you have to constantly decipher his texts or lack thereof to determine if he likes you, he's not worth it. Take the loss and move on if he isn't on his texting game with you. Don't pursue a guy who clearly isn't feeling it. Your heart may desire something to happen, but listen to your head and avoid becoming desperate. You understand the significance of an unanswered message. No guy should ever leave you waiting by the phone. You have a life that you are not going to postpone for some guy. If a guy expects you to wait for him whenever he wants to text you back, he needs to get off his high horse and realize that your world does not revolve around him. Men are not a gift from God to women. If he abandons you while you wait to hear from him, send him a message of your own and simply move on. A man who really likes you will be happy to hear from you. He'll also be delighted to respond via text. He will not see texting as something he must do, but rather as something he enjoys doing. He is interested in you, which is why he wishes to maintain the relationship. If he doesn't bother responding, he's already stopped the flow, and the "relationship" is heading nowhere. There’s a difference between a random occurrence and a habit. It's not a big deal if he misses a message or forgets to text back once, but if he's constantly leaving you waiting for a response for days at a time, it's pretty clear he's not interested. He isn't responding (or isn't responding quickly enough) because you aren't on his mind. He texts you when it suits him, which is usually when he's horny or bored. If he wants a relationship, he’ll make an effort. If he is unwilling to do the work or put in the time, it indicates that you are unimportant to him. Do you really want to pursue a man who does not consider you a priority in his life? You'll be exhausted and dissatisfied if you do all the work and he never even meets you in the middle. Remember that guys who are truly interested know how to put forth an effort. Guys aren’t the best at expressing their feelings. When a guy doesn't text back on a regular basis, he's trying to give you a hint. Sure, it would be nice if he showed a little more respect for you and just told you straight out that he's not that into you, but that appears to be too much to ask. So many guys do what they do best: they avoid the problem and hope it will go away when you get the hint. Sometimes texting habits are a guy’s way of defining the relationship. A guy who texts back on a regular basis is interested. guy who only texts you when he's horny is only looking to be your hookup buddy. A guy who doesn't text back until you text him repeatedly has no interest and is just trying to get you off his back. If he never responds to your texts, consider it a slap in the face to move on. If he’s not pursuing you, it’s time to stop pursuing him. Guys who are interested should text me back. Guys who are not are not. Don't bother attempting to persuade him otherwise. You must be self-assured enough to understand that if a guy does not recognize your worth, it is his loss. Let him go and find a guy who will be thrilled to have you in his life. You can't fight for someone who doesn't fight for you. At the end of the day, you have to accept that no message is a message — that's his way of saying he's simply not interested. While you shouldn't expect him to respond within a few minutes of sending a message, it's perfectly reasonable to expect to hear from him within a day or so of texting him, even if it's just to say he's super busy. If this isn't happening, don't sit around wondering what's wrong with him or assuming he has a good reason. He might, but you have a life to live. Read the full article

[nono-bunny]

This episode's Zakenna was really reminiscent of Poisony, specifically in her last appearance when she fights with her hair... And it was yet another time I was disappointed by this season's refusal to acknowledge the previous one. It would've been great to have the girls also make the connection and remember her, but they don't, so it boils down to just a superficial similarity only viewers who happen to remember will notice. When this was airing, there was a really long time between that episode and this one, so it'd make sense that people would forget, but at the same time... It was a very impressive and iconic fight and I can't imagine myself -even at a much younger age- not being able to make the connection if I was a fan who made sure to keep up with the show, y'know? I constantly feel like they should acknowledge how they've already beaten the Dark King a bit more, but this was a point where I very acutely felt like they should've been allowed to reference past events. It's not a big deal, honestly, but... I was really disappointed because I loved Poisony and think she was hands down the best adversary the girls faced, so when they didn't take this very easy chance to acknowledge her existence I just kinda... Missed her even more

All of the villains this season are bland, and I'm honestly very sad about it. I don't get how the first half of season 1 had great villains with strong distinguishable personalities, and then both subsequent groups are just bland. Juna did nothing interesting after his debut (which should've been utilized/addressed more, it felt absolutely tragic how one second he was a part of people's lives and the next completely forgotten!!) aside from showing how the Three Seeds are gonna die, Regine's personality was fascinating but went absolutely nowhere and was mostly used as a gag, and Belzei was just kind of a weird dude I would've loved to be able to either fear or sympathize with a bit more but he was just too flat for either, really. Like? They all could've had something going for them but they mostly just existed to show up for a fight every episode and you could absolutely feel it.

I also have no real interest in any of the villains this season- Circulas feels like Pissard lite (a cool looking entry level villain I am not threatened by whatsoever) but lacks the charm of the original, Uraganos is just a weird himbo reminiscent of Gekidrago (he even also has a thing with the VP!!), Viblis feels like an angrier and less smart Poisony, and Baldez is very obviously just the shady final boss masquerading as a right hand man type (which means I'll probably never come to care for him as I didn't fear Ilkubo and didn't find Belzei impressive). For the most part none of them are even remotely interesting on their own, and their only interesting scenes are together and with Hikaru, and just. I don't get it? I don't get why they nailed the first group of villains so well and then struggled so badly with all of the ones to follow. Like, the thing that made the first ones work was that they each had something going for them that set them apart, with Kiriya and Poisony being the standouts because of their connections with other characters. There have been basically no interesting conversations happening with the villains to succeed them, because they fail to cement themselves as individuals OR as believable threats. They're all incredibly bland and boring and truly just there just to fill a quota because the show needs villains, and I wish they were better but... At this point I've realized the only parts of this season I find enjoyable are the day to day stuff and the unimportant episodic plots, because the overarching narrative with the villains is barely existent at best and at worst difficult to follow. The slice of life stuff is genuinely great imo, so I'm enjoying that part a lot, but rn I'm definitely at a point where the inevitable episodic fight scene is something I dread because it's just... Boring. The villains show up at the end out of nowhere after MAYBE having a brief discussion about trying to figure out stuff the audience already knows, deploy a Zakenna, try to get to Luminous and inevitably get beat because they aren't doing anything smart or worthwhile... And that just seems like it's gonna be how things will go until a point where plot things need to happen and then they'll win out of nowhere with no justifiable reason as to why now... Same thing happened with Ilkubo btw, which is why he was my least favorite of the initial generals, and also for the most part with the Three Seeds (literally how did Belzei get the incarnation? No way did Wisdom just randomly mutter it to the parrot). Power isn't measurable, so the best way to make a villain victory make sense is through strategy or an explainable power surge, and when the Cures just lose one day out of the blue it just feels very cheap- and yet, that's the precedent set so far, and what I'm expecting...

Which is why I was super happy to see the VP again!!! Comedic king!! Absolute dumbass who has no idea what's going on but is nonetheless doing his best! Truly, the "normal" cast is carrying this season so hard- after the disastrous beginning with Wisdom and the Elder we barely even see the fairies anymore (which personally I find sad, I really enjoy Porun in particular but I know he's divisive so maybe it's for the best), it's been just pure slice of life with the obligatory fight every episode, and honestly? Yeah that's probably for the best if they don't know how to do anything interesting with the villains rn. Getting to see more of Akane is a treat, and Hikari is genuinely a sweetheart and I enjoy seeing her figure herself out!! Initially she really confused me, I couldn't get a read on her character but I'm kinda getting the sense that it was on some degree intentional- she definitely could've had a more polished introduction, this season had a rough start in general I think, but her being confusing on a lot of fronts make sense- even if it was obvious WHAT she was, WHO she was ends up being the real unspoken mystery.

Ngl I do wish more was done with the Sanae situation (also with Honoka and her life in general, but I knew going in that this was a Nagisa heavy season), I don't even really understand why the Cures have to keep their identities secret given that the villains know them? Same thing with Akane, actually- her image song all but screams that she knows something is up with those three, and the mind washing thing Hikari unconsciously did with her is wild and I feel like it'd actually be much more fun and moving if she was actually secretly in on the whole thing and voluntarily took in Hikari anyway

Ahh this episode was honestly fine actually, I don't really know why it was the one that got got me to suddenly air out all of these grievances? Tbh I think it was just the disappointment of being reminded of what a great villain Poisony was and how no one since has even come close, and when it was right alongside the VP's first appearance in a while? Idk. This season is honestly fine so far, it took a bit to find its groove with the addition of Hikari but it got there! It's just... Not as good as the first season by virtue of having weaker villains and too many half explored side characters (Fujipi is kinda the epitome of this tbh? Surprisingly I actually have a lot to say about him considering how little he adds to the show but that's neither here not there, at least I really enjoy hearing him talk because of his VA lmao). I hope they either continue to stick to their strengths and focus on the girls' normal lives, or find a way to elevate the villains as characters so that the fights can be actually interesting again haha

Precure Day 066

Episode: Futari wa Precure Max Heart 16 - “Nagisa’s in high spirits! In top form with your lucky color!!” Date watched: 18 August 2018 Original air date: 22 May 2005 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/eIUG1zR

Remember all my praise for the last episode’s animation? Yeah….

Keep reading

[ilikekidsshows]

I remember a while back you talked about how Ladybug views Chat Noir as a constant in her life. Like a fairy tale, someone that whose emotions are just playfulness, joy, and bravery. Also, that Marinette never really thinks about him beyond the mask. Can you delve deeper into that? I feel like the point you made a while ago is extremely relevant to the relationship between LB and CN after Wishmaker

I'm pretty sure the Fae Cat Noir Interpretation is my fandom footprint at this point. I do talk about it pretty often, after all. Mostly I talk about it as a part of other posts, so I'll try to compile the main points here into a single cohesive whole.

When Marinette becomes Ladybug, that role of Ladybug is tied to two of the new friends she gained that day: Tikki and Cat Noir. Tikki, in the first season, is the closest thing Marinette has to a guide and mentor. Tikki tells her how her powers work, supports her in her decisions (usually) and gives her advice in tough situations (to the best of her ability).

Tikki is also literally a fae creature. She's out of touch with human life and is sometimes confused by things, but she also isn't someone Marinette has to take care of simply because she doesn't seem to have any personal worries like a human would. Tikki is always optimistic, seeing different situations as possibilities to Create something new. When Tikki falls ill in 'Princess Fragrance', Marinette panics, because usually Tikki doesn't need Marinette to take care of her. Tikki is also bound to keep Marinette's secret, she literally can't tell it, so Marinette can trust her completely.

Now let's compare Tikki to Cat Noir. Cat Noir is Ladybug's partner. He helps her navigate the duty of a superhero when they're both new to it, supports her in her decisions and gives her advice when he feels like she needs it. In addition to this, Cat Noir offers comfort and jokes to break tense situations. Cat Noir is also the one who calls Marinette out when she's letting her personal feelings affect her judgement and he tries to keep her grounded and focused on the task at hand when she’s in a negative spiral. Cat Noir is also very careful to put up the appearance of not needing to be taken care of. When one of the heroes needs support, the other one will provide it but, when these occasions occur, it's always Cat Noir supporting Ladybug.

A lot of Adrien not showing his need for support is influenced by the secret identity rule, because a lot of the stuff that gets to him is caused by his relationship to his father, a topic he isn't allowed to bring up with Ladybug. However, the reason Adrien is so good at hiding his need for support is his father. His father considers him emotional and dramatic, and punishes him severely for being so. He's been trained to believe that he isn't allowed to be emotionally needy, so he hides his needs. As Cat Noir, he also uses humour to deflect, since being the jokester has become something others expect from him and therefore functions to “prove” that he’s just up to his usual funny business.

Even when Cat Noir can't hold everything back and does show his upset, like in 'Glaciator' or 'Frozer', it only appears as a momentary "glitch" to Marinette, since Adrien deals with his emotions by himself. In 'Glaciator', the conversation takes place after he's calmed himself down, while in 'Frozer', there was no need for a conversation at all. Any upset Cat Noir has seems to last for mere moments and goes away by itself without Marinette needing to offer emotional support, making those moments seem unimportant when looking at them from the outside. Instead, to Marinette, it feels like Cat Noir is always brave, confident and joyful.

Whenever there is a crack in Cat Noir's facade, Marinette is quick to notice. She asks him straight out if he's fine, and every time Cat Noir answers that he is just fine. Being disappointed or hurt emotionally is normal for Adrien, so he most likely is his own definition of "fine". And Marinette takes him at his word and drops the topic. This is because Ladybug’s and Cat Noir’s trust in each other is absolute. When Cat Noir tells her he's fine, Ladybug believes him, without question. The salt side of the fandom loves to call Cat Noir unreliable, but the truth of the matter is that he has been so reliable so consistently that Marinette sometimes forgets he's only human and can have weaknesses or be compromised.

Whenever Marinette has seen her partner go down, it has been physically, because of an Akuma attack. As such, the main threat Marinette perceives to her partner are villains. Cat Blanc was a nightmarish timeline that must be avoided at all costs, and Marinette is 100% convinced that what caused it was her identity being leaked, not some emotional threat to her partner. Therefore Marinette can't perceive a threat to her partner in addition to not knowing when he’s in emotional peril.

So, let's take it from the top. As far as Marinette knows, her ally is a being with magical powers, who helps her fight crime and doesn't need her to take care of them. They seem to be untroubled by things like insecurity like she is and she can absolutely trust them. That describes both Tikki and Cat Noir. The impression Marinette has of Cat Noir is very similar to the one she has of her literal fae partner.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Okay but what about Orc!bucky and Goddess!reader ..😳🤭 Shes an Aphrodite, I can imagine her looking down and seeing orc!bucky and just craving him. They be a great power couple ...

Hi hun! I'm sorry it took me so much time to write this fic, and, well, since most of us already have some depiction of Aphrodite in mind, I decided to make the reader her daughter. Guess the story turned out something very different from what you wanted, but I still hope you will enjoy it!

Somebody to Die For

Pairing: orc!Bucky x goddess!Reader

Warnings: violence, injuries, angst, hurt/comfort.

Words: 2385.

____________________

"I will fight for you till they cut off my arms, my legs, and my head."

You looked at the warrior in front of you, his heavy body clad in armor, his arms holding a spear and a shield you brought to him yourself, earning a slap from your mother, the goddess of beauty who forbid you to help humans so shamelessly, and yet, you always did.

The man standing in front of you was neither orc nor human but the descendant of the both of them, the only hero who could possibly defeat the evil forces when every other man had failed. He's rough; he's rude; he knew little of honor, but he's the one who still fought when the ones before him had long given up. Despite the prejudice against orcs, now even humans understood he was their only salvation.

You hoped he would survive the last battle. Not just because you needed the human kind to have a savior, a leader, the one who would aid them when nobody else would, but because you had grown found of him, the man you had been guiding for years, helping him to protect those who detested him, bringing him hope when he was ready to give up, embracing him when he no longer had the power to hold his spear. A daughter of the goddess of beauty, you were to bring this beauty to the parts of the world where your tired mother could not, but you brought hope instead.

"Fight for me, and if you win, I will fulfill your wish, soldier." You whispered through your golden mask that covered your face entirely, only your eyes visible to the orc standing on his knees.

Your mother never approved of it, but you had seen people going mad from having just one glance at you, your immense beauty blinding them, driving them insane, making them forgot who they were. It was a curse, not a blessing. It was the reason you wore your mask at all times, only showing your face to those your deemed worthy, strong enough to withstand the charms you had no control over.

You knew your hero wanted to see your face more than anything else in the world.

"I will bring you the demon's head on a golden plate, my goddess."

You'd chuckle at his attempt to please you, but you were scared, you feared he would fail, fall, die in the hands of evil forces feasting upon human kind and threatening to destroy all the gods had created. You could not fight along him, possessing no skills to win that battle; moreover, your mother would most certainly kill you if you intervened, breaking the oath you had given to her. You could only help the hero you had chosen while staying in the shadow.

"Stay alive, Bucky." Those were your last words when you pressed the cold lips of your mask to the orc's forehead, giving him your blessing and hiding the tears behind the cold metal.

If only you could fight, but your hands grew cold every time you touched the hero's spear, unable to wield a sword or a mace. The war was not your domain, all the gods kept telling you when you plead them to gift you enough strength and courage to engage in battle. No, your fate was to shine like a golden statue, blinding all those who dared to look at you, bending them to your will like you mother had always done. They couldn't understand your ardent desire to watch over the humankind and all those who needed your help, spending your time healing soldiers, aiding orphans and the elderly, bringing food and water to all those in need. The gods cared little for mortals. Even when the Great Evil appeared out of nowhere, wreaking havoc on the lands belonging to people constantly praying for gods mercy, the immortals were too busy with their own affairs, realizing how serious the matter was when it had been too late.

When the orc you clad in charmed armor stood in front of the army of the undead, the diabolical creatures with horns and gaunt wings growling behind them, ready to strike, you prayed for him to come out of the battle alive. It was his fate to be the last hero standing between the chaos and all what was dear to the living, yet he bore no responsibility for it - he didn't ask to be the hero, to fight when his spear was long broken, go forward while the undead broke his bones and demons feasted upon his flesh, ripping pieces of meat before the orc could crush their heads with his mere hands. You kept casting spells to aid him, knowing your mother would whip you, but you didn't care, healing your hero's wounds so he could fight until he would cut off the head of the Demon King with his own sword.

Your hero was laying on top of demon's dead body, still holding the head even while unconscious as you sneaked into the field full of corpses, bodies of demons and bones of the undead rotting under the blazing sun. Your hero was dying from his wounds, bleeding so much his skin was loosing its color, and now it was your time to bring him back to the living before it was too late.

Oh, you knew your mother could kill you for stealing the salve meant only for gods to heal their wounds, but you no longer cared. What did it matter if the one who saved you all was to pay with his life for everything he had done to protect the living? No, it was unfair. The orc stood to gain nothing from his heroic deeds, gods being too arrogant to acknowledge him properly, but he had the right to keep his life.

And so you carried his heavy body to the springs, washing his wounds, applying the salve generously and casting as much healing spells as you did in your entire life to keep him alive, praying and hoping the gods would take mercy on him. Yes, he was three quarters an orc; he was barbaric, savage, ferocious, but he had kindness in his heart like no other, agreeing to fight for humans who had always utterly despised him. Despite being a brute, he was kind to children, women and elderly people. He had never lay his hand on those weaker than him, except when they attacked him on their own. In the end, he was the only hero who answered your call when all those you had asked for help died on the battlefield, unable to fight the demons and their army of corpses.

It had been three days and three nights you spent tending to his wounds until his heart started beating like of a living being. You cried your eyes out when you heard it. The salve had finally worked, and the open wounds closed, leaving his body scarred but healed; his breath steadied, and soon your hero would come back to you, you knew. Gods had answered your prayers for the first time.

"Am I dead?" Bucky asked you when he opened his eyes on the fourth day as he saw you tired face, your mask long abandoned the moment you brought him to the springs.

You smiled at him and held him close, his head laying on your lap while you witnessed his awakening, his body covered in salve, making his skin shine like pure gold.

"You are alive and well." leaning to him, you left a kiss on his forehead, brushing his dark disheveled hair out of his face, and the orc made an odd sound as if he were purring like a giant cat. "You will live a long life, cherished and honored by those you protected, I promise you."

"Will you keep that one promise you gave me, my goddess?"

He's impatient, he had always been, and you laughed at his eagerness, knowing his body still hurt, but the orc didn't seem to mind it. Was he unhappy with seeing your face? You didn't think so, and yet, apparently, he wanted something else. Gold? Women? Immortality? The last one would be quite hard, that is if gods wouldn't struck you with a lightning or something just to teach you a lesson to be more pliant and respectful.

"What it is that you want, my warrior? I will do whatever you ask me to if it is within my powers, just like I promised."

"It's within your powers, I'm sure." He grumbled, making you laugh even harder at his unusual grumpiness, touching the tips of his tusks, and the orc laughed at you, too.

"What is it, then? Don't keep me waiting, mortal, for even I grew tired of tending to you over four days." Winking at him in the most frivolous manner just like your mother had taught you, you giggled then, and the hero's face lightened up.

"This is not how I imagined it to be, but who cares, anyway." he muttered to himself and sat up, turning to you and hurriedly searching the pockets of his torn pants, obviously empty after his long, intense battle. "Shit! I've brought you golden rings and necklaces and bracelets, but those flying bitches made holes in my clothes. I should have hidden my gifts under some rock before the battle."

"Oh, you should have!"

He's impossible, you thought as you both snickered, his huge, calloused hands touching gentle yours. He brought you gold? What for?

"Well, whatever, I'll find more for you later if you don't mind, goddess. Will you give me the honor of becoming my wife even if I didn't bring you the gifts?" The orc tilted his head to the side, looking at you as if it were just a mere matter of something minor, unimportant, but soon, as he watched you openly gape at him for his audacity, he quickly bowed his head, kneeling in front of you.

You were speechless. For once, you had never for once suspected of the hero having these feelings for you. Surely, he prayed to you, he respected you as a mortal should respect their deity, he was intrigued by your true appearance you had concealed from him, but his spoke of marriage seemed preposterous. Was it your face again, your mother's charms? No, no, it couldn’t have been it for the hero intended to bring you gifts, wedding gifts, that is. He had come prepared.

Unbelievable. Did his feelings grow while he didn't even know how you looked?

"Forgive me my insolence, goddess." he mumbled, realizing his offer could be a grave offense to you, a being standing way higher than him. "But I can serve you till the end of my days, do whatever you tell me to. If I have survived the last battle and brought people salvation they wanted, I must be good enough, right?"

"Will you serve me even if I am not your wife?" You asked him quietly, looking at your hands covered in the balm you stole from the gods just to heal his wounds, knowing you were attracted to him despite your feelings never being voiced.

For a couple of seconds the orc grew silent, watching the carpet you put him on to tend to his wounds: it had been soaked in his blood that now dried out.

"I will serve you even then." He uttered grimly, refusing to look you in the eyes, his gaze on your hands as he kept sitting in front of you.

Afraid to speak, you fell silent too, wishing to touch him, brush your hand against his disheveled hair. Oh, didn't you want him? Didn't you wish to be embraced by the very hero you spent years guiding and healing so he would continue his journey? Didn't you deserve to be loved, the daughter of the goddess of that very same love you'd been craving for so long?

But your hero was a mortal. You were frightened to even think what gods would do to him for his impertinence.

Oh, evil gods. You spent years to teach and guide the mortal hero they despised who brought the salvation to the lands they were so afraid to lose, and yet neither him nor you were given anything in return. Instead, they were granting you a torture of refusing advances of the only one dear to you.

Please, darling.

Your mother's irritated voice cut through the silence like a knife, and you froze, knowing she was rolling her eyes at you, watching you secretly like she often did.

You have a heart of stone if you reject the man who is standing on his knees in front of you. I grant you my permission if you so need it.

As her mighty voice rang in the complete silence of a cave, Bucky shivered, immediately getting on his feet. Of course, he knew nothing of your mother except that she was a goddess, and he had never heard her voice. It didn't matter to you, though, as you stared at him, dumbfounded.

Permission. She granted you her permission to marry him. You were free to act as you like, knowing the gods wouldn't bring their wrath upon your hero.

"I will have you if you promise to love and cherish me like no other, protect me, and be loyal to me until your last breath." You whispered, your eyes full of tears as you watched him from below while he towered above you, and the next second he was on his knees again, taking your arms in his and kissing your tears away.

"Even if my face will be disfigured, my tongue cut off, and my body dismembered, I will love you till my last breath." his voice was so quiet, yet you heard him as if he were screaming at the top of his voice. "I promise to worship you and come to you aid whenever you need me."

Hurriedly ripping a piece of his ragged, soaked in blood clothes, he wrapped it around your finger like it was a ring he had lost.

"My soul, my heart, and my sword - everything I possess I give to you."

___________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @iheartsebandchris

[shirubae]

The New Silver: The Sonic Rivals 1+2 Analysis

With Sonic 06‘s reset, Silver gains a new introduction in the Sonic Rivals duology. We players have already met Silver, even though the characters don't remember each other.

Unfortunately, already knowing Silver means he doesn’t get a lot of character exploration. Rivals has a weak "excuse plot" that's just a backdrop to set up races; Rivals 2 tries a little harder. The textbox cutscenes don’t leave much room for narratization either, but we’ll manage.

Because these games are short, we’ll do both analyses in one post.

Sonic Rivals: Meeting Silver

Though his future is no longer an Iblis-torn hellscape, Silver still travels through time. He is now presented as something like a “time keeper”, a hero who ensures the safety of his own era by fighting those who tamper with the past. It’s a more sustainable role than getting tricked by Mephiles, so it’s better in the long run.

In this game, Silver pursues the interdimensional criminal Eggman Nega, who has escaped into the past with a special camera that can trap things within cards. Silver decides to check on the original Dr. Eggman, Nega's ancestor. This leads Silver to Onyx Island at the same time as Sonic and the others.

Silver’s interactions with Sonic are the most interesting, since Sonic seems legitimately annoyed but also intrigued by his forcefulness. This is technically their first meeting, and while it isn’t very amicable, it’s nicer than Silver trying to kill him.

The plot points are unimportant, as they boil down to Silver chasing Dr. Eggman all over the island while bumping into rivals.

We see that Silver is determined yet secretive about his mission, displaying that classic tunnel-vision of his. He is actually hostile to anyone getting in his way. In fact, he doesn't make any allies the entire game, only briefly teaming up with Sonic and later Shadow. It’s ironic that he went from trusting the wrong person in 06 to not trusting any of the heroes in Rivals.

Later on, Sonic uses Silver’s obsession with his mission to get another race out of him. Sonic enjoys their little rivalry, but Silver is more focused on doing his job.

Eventually, Silver puts together that the Eggman he’s been pursuing is Nega in disguise (poor kid ain't the sharpest). He and Shadow work with the real Eggman to follow Nega to space, stopping him from trapping the entire planet in a card.

Although Silver didn't befriend any of the cast, it appears Sonic and Shadow have won his respect, as he expresses confidence in leaving the past in their hands.

Sonic Rivals 2: Learning to Trust

Upon his return, Silver found the future in burning ruins thanks to the invincible fire monster Ifrit. Now he’s back to fix things again. It's definitely a callback to his old origins with Iblis.

This time he's not hunting anyone, but rather protecting the Chao that the Ifrit requires to become invincible. However, Eggman Nega is back too, being the one who summons the Ifrit. It’s a race between Silver and Nega to collect Chao.

To everyone else, it looks like Silver is randomly kidnapping Chao. This gets the Chaotix involved, and Espio begins tailing Silver. Espio quickly gets found out, but Silver’s naivete and hyperfocus allow him to stay undercover.

Sonic is charmed to see him again, but Silver couldn't care less. Maybe Sonic doesn’t have his trust after all? Silver still isn’t interested in making friends, and just wants to fulfill his mission. This time Silver turns the tables, using Sonic's competitive spirit to start a contest to collect Chao and further his own interests. That's a sort of cunning we've never seen him use before.

However, once Espio finally confronts Silver about the Chao-napping, Silver explains the Ifrit threat and accepts his help. He’s quite abrasive about it, making clear that this is a temporary alliance.

But this team-up turns out to be invaluable, as Silver overworks and exhausts his psychokinesis, requiring Espio to gather rings for him. It shows how bad Silver is at self-preservation, and it acts as a wake-up call that he doesn’t have to work alone and he must rely on others.

Silver appreciates Espio's loyalty. Espio honors a ninja code and is dedicated to his mission from Vector, just like how Silver is dedicated to his mission from the future. It’s also handy that Espio's tactical thinking helps Silver plan the road to his goals. The two make a good team; it’s not quite like Silver and Blaze’s dynamic, since Espio is less hot-headed and more dorky, but it’s close. (I guess Silver has a soft spot for purple people lol).

They foil Nega’s plot by freeing the Chao, but he still opens a portal to the Ifrit's dimension (definitely reminiscent of Crisis City). Silver and Espio enter it and defeat the Ifrit, ensuring the beast never makes it to their world. Nega gets caught under rubble, and Silver and Espio are such savages that they just leave him there. That’s cold.

Silver has a nice goodbye with Espio and returns to the future. Wonderful! Someone finally managed to crack through his shell and befriend him. This initiates a trend of Silver getting gradually more friendly with Sonic and the others over time. It’s also good to see Espio getting some actual use as a character and not just comic relief.

Conclusion

Silver’s new introduction in Rivals is okay. It shows us a Silver who is more independent, but just as (if not more) stubborn. Other than that, there isn't much new information, and the story definitely doesn’t carry the same emotional weight of 06. He's still a well-meaning kid going about things the only way he knows how, just without so much apocalyptic angst now.

His newfound friendship with Espio in Rivals 2 is nice, and it reflects how Silver has always struggled socially. Compared to Blaze's similar arc in Rush about letting people help, Silver's realization is more shallow. It doesn't fundamentally change him like it does with Blaze, only leaving him more open to the idea. Maybe this is a trait to be explored further in another story.

Still, it’s good that they made a new place for Silver. He doesn’t have to be the same panicked, traumatized kid he was in 06. Note that the first Rivals was released the very same week as 06 (November 14 & 16, 2006); this shows how the creators already knew they should alter Silver’s backstory into something more sustainable and generally palatable. With an Iblis-less upbringing, he’s much more confident and righteous, which comes with its own benefits and drawbacks.

[selenestarmoon]

Jayce Tails: Impotence and Lack of Control

Maybe everyone dislike Jayce but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's a well written character.

Many people believe that Jayce's story is about the acquisition of power and how it can corrupt you but in reality Jayce's story is about how changing society for the better isn’t easy and how you can lose control of your own life even if you have much power.

Let's go from the beginning to demonstrate this.

Due to him and his mother almost die in a snowstorm until they're saved by an arcane magic user, Jayce gains an admiration and curiosity about arcane magic and this makes Jayce think about how he can help society with it. and leads to experiments with it but he never expected that Vi and her companions destroy his workshop and expose his illegal experiments.

This causes Jayce to go to trial and there he explains from the bottom of his heart about his belief that magic can be controlled through science and how it can improve the lives of others but no one believes him or they just don't care. This is the first contact that Jayce has with the system and he can perceive how he is a small unimportant gear, so much so that if it were not for his mother he wouldn't be able to continue living in Piltover.

Jayce feels betrayed that he was forced to undermine both his work and his dreams and, in desperation, tries to commit suicide in what used to be his workshop.

This scene is important because it makes it clear that what Jayce cares about the most are his inventions, he is a scientist at heart and if he doesn't have control over his inventions then he has nothing. Viktor stops him and they both continue to experiment with arcane magic until they achieve what they set out to do, they both manage to create hextech technology.

Years pass and Jayce becomes a symbol of Piltover: the Man of Progress. The people who despised him now want favors and alliances with him. This can be seen at a high society party during Jayce's speech.

Now everything revolves around him, the Man of Progress. It's a very big title that he must carry on his shoulders.

At this point Heimerdinger suggests that they postpone the experiment while Mel wants them to go ahead. Jayce doesn't know what to decide and more importantly he doesn't understand why he should decide because Viktor has the same amount of merits as him, both were the ones who created hextech technology but Jayce is credited with leadership for stupid and superficial reasons: he isn't disabled, he has good looking and he was born in Piltover. Obviously Jayce has this in mind and that is why he isn't happy when he goes on stage because he just wants to be a scientist who invents things to do good.

Shortly after Jinx steals the hextech gem and Jayce takes responsibility before the Council and proposes to stop all investigations until the matter is resolved but they don't support him. Jayce realizes that instead of being concerned about the safety of the citizens, the leaders of Piltover care more about appearances and the solution that the Council proposes is equally questionable since they name Jayce, a scientist with no experience in politic, as one of their members but this isn't a security measure nor does it solve the problem, but rather it's a way to keep the masses calm, giving them a false sense of security since they will think that there will be no way for something bad to happen if the Man of Progress is one of the leaders of Piltover.

Jayce, being the only member of the Council who really cares about the safety of its citizens, decides to increase the security measures behind the back of his fellow Council members, which makes them not happy with him and make illegal transactions, this shows the fact that they only care about benefiting themselves and not the population. Jayce to make amends for his actions must talk to each of them and earn his favor through empty promises and fake smiles.

Something that I liked is how during the scene where the promises that Jayce makes with the members of the council take place, the instrumental becomes more unrestrained and chaotic because it symbolizes Jayce's lack of control over his own life.

Not only is he making a lot of promises that he had not previously premeditated or discussed with his partner, but he no longer has control of his inventions and, even as part of the Council, he doesn't have the control to change the things that he considers to be necessary.

Little by little the conflict between Piltover and Zaun is increasing and Jayce, despite being a member and leader of the Council, he doesn't know what to do, everyone suggests and even demands how she should deal with this delicate situation: Mel says something, the Council says another thing, Viktor thinks differently, Vi wants to act, Caitlyn wants diplomacy, Ambessa wants war. All this confuses Jayce and the fact that he can't make a decision and stick with it makes the audience annoyed with him, it's like Shinji who doesn't want to get on the EVA, but there's the funny thing: Jayce doesn't know what to do, he is only a scientist who never aspired to have the responsibilities he has today, he has no experience, leadership or will to play this role and he knows it better than anyone.

Remember the suicide scene? At this point in the story Jayce has no control over his inventions and the only reason he doesn't plan on ending his life is because it doesn't even belong to him anymore. He is similar to All Might from My Hero Academia or Satoru Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen because, like them, Jayce has gradually become a tool that everyone depends on, he as an individual is nobody, he has no value and people don't care about Jayce as a person, they just care about his role and fachade as the Man of Progress.

After going with Vi to fight in Zaun he realizes that he can't solve anything by this way. He kills a child unintentionally and this marks him for life for which he decides to take the diplomatic way to solve the conflict.

At this point it isn't known if the negotiation with Silco is because Jayce genuinely doesn't want to exterminate the inhabitants of Zaun or if he's simply afraid that they will end Piltover, the only thing that is known is that Jayce is tired and desperately wants to find an immediate solution to all this conflict.

After a great discussion with the Council, Jayce manages to convince them that diplomacy is the best solution and it's shown that if you can make a decision that does not have selfish ends involved, but as said before, changing things isn't easy by many external factors, this is seen when Jinx decides to end Piltover. It's the only time that Jayce as a political figure manages to do something good, something that could bring benefits in the future but it does not matter because something that he cannot control (Jinx) will ruin everything he achieved.

That's what his story is about, about impotence and lack of control. As I said before, Jayce's situation is reminiscent of Shinji's, they are disowned by people because they both function as a mirror. Both Jayce and Shinji reflect as a real life person who is given so much power and responsibilities and so little experience overnight, it's easy to say that Jayce and Shinji made mistakes because we are bystanders but what would we do if we were in a situation like that? If we were in Jayce's position we would obviously make the same bad decisions as Jayce and even make worse decisions than him.

That's why Jayce easily upsets people because he reminds us that we are inexperienced, that we have little control over things and that we are but an insignificant part of a society that will advance with or without us.

[kissingnamjoon]

Forgotten | Min Yoongi x Reader (Part 1)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader 

Genre: Its angst. did u rly expect anything else from me?

Summary:  “I don’t care about the clothes, Yoongi! I just wanted to see you! We did not have to set up these reservations for a fancy restaurant, I told you that! This was your idea! Why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?” You spoke boldly into the phone. You knew Yoongi was stubborn and not one to let up easily, so you anticipated his response. ��Because you’re not fucking saying anything worth listening too.” And with that, the phone clicked, and he hung up.

A/N: Hi I’m back after what seems like forever. Did you guys miss me? kadljflsjflks. Also, I really tried focusing on the readers perspective in this part, the next part will focus more on Yoongi’s. I’m hoping you guys like this bc I havent written in a while and I might be a little rusty. Okay. THATS ALL. ENJOY. FEEDBACK PLS

Your back ached tremendously as you walked barefoot across the concrete. Expensive heels in your hand, that you bought specifically for tonight. Tear’s slowly flowing down your puffy cheeks, too wrapped up in your own thoughts to care what any by passers thought. You knew there was a cheapy motel down the street tonight, and that is where your feet started taking you. There was no way you were going home to Yoongi. Not after the way he spoke to you and made you feel. What were you ever suppose to say to him? You felt embarrassed that you were so excited for tonight, thinking about it all day and dolling yourself up, and he didn’t even give you the time of his day. Fuck, if he would even be home. He made it abundantly clear that he did not want to see you, or at least that is what he made you feel.

------

“Yoongi……where are you?” Your soft voice came through the phone. You were surprised he even picked up this time. It only took 4 text messages and 3 phone calls for him to answer. You normally would not call or text him so excessively, but tonight was supposed to be different. You thought, no, you KNEW he would make it to your date tonight. He promised you. Your guy’s relationship had been going through a rough patch, with Yoongi being consumed by work and BTS. You knew his job was demanding, but all you asked for was a little bit of his time. Hell, this date was not even your idea. It was HIS. He was determined to make up his recent neglect to you, and you were more than content to just settle on the couch for a movie night with him. But Yoongi thought you deserved more than that.

However, his actions did not match his thoughts. He did not make you feel like you deserved anything from him. As a matter of fact, right now, you felt the complete opposite.

You thought maybe he had just run into some traffic after it was 10 minutes past 8. You were very naïve and hopefully, and the thought of him standing you up or forgetting honestly did not cross your mind. Tonight, was going to be different. But then 10 minutes turned into 15 minutes. 25 minutes. 45 minutes. An hour. You started to feel nervous that tonight was going to be like the last several months. It would only be validation that whatever else was going on in Yoongi’s life, whether it be work or personal, was always going to take priority over you. When did your relationship become like this? When did Yoongi stop showing you he loved you? When did you stopped feeling loved? When did your relationship with Yoongi become so god damn ISOLATING and LONELY?

“What are you talking about? I’m at the studio.” Yoongi said. And with that, feelings of humiliation and sadness filled your veins as your heart pumped through your body. Of course, tonight was not going to be different. It had not been different for the last 2 months. But this time you had hope because Yoongi planned all this. Not you. Yoongi had always been a man of his word, especially when it came to you. Had your relationship come down to this? Did your relationship hold such unimportance that a simple promise really meant nothing to him anymore?

“What about….tonight? You know? The date you set up for us….” You do not know why you felt nervous responding back to him. Maybe it was because you knew he was at the studio, most likely working. But why should you feel bad? He was not supposed to be working. He was supposed to be with you. “Oh. That. Yah, we can just reschedule it.” Yoongi said calmy, with no concern or panic that he forgot, lacing his voice. Your heart just kept shattering, as you suddenly felt unimportant in Yoongi’s life. Something that he could just push to the back burner and forget about like it was nothing. Maybe you were nothing to him anymore. “B-but….Tonight was supposed to be different Yoongi. I was really looking forward to seeing you. I just want to see you.” Your lips started trembling, but you swore to yourself you would not let Yoongi know you were on the verge of tears. Besides, would he even care if he knew that he had caused the tears making their appearance in your eyes?

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Y/N. I got caught up in the studio. We can reschedule for the weekend.” Why was he being so cold towards you right now? This was not the Yoongi that you knew. The Yoongi that loved you. Sure, on the outside Yoongi seemed cold and distant, but with you, he was so much different. He was soft. He was deep. He was passionate and incredibly detailed orientated. He cared about you. Where was that Yoongi? “But Yoongi…. You planned this. I even bought a new outfit to wear for you and everything.”

Yoongi was getting annoyed. He already told you that you guys could go on the weekend. What weren’t you understanding? He snapped. “Well fuck, Y/N! I will repay you for the clothes and whatever the fuck else you bought for tonight. I told you we could reschedule for this weekend. Is it difficult for you to understand?!” He snapped through the phone. Why was he being so mean to you right now? All you wanted to do was see Yoongi? Were you such a selfish person for wanting to see your boyfriend, even if just for a few minutes? “I don’t care about the clothes, Yoongi! I just wanted to see you! We did not have to set up these reservations for a fancy restaurant, I told you that! This was your idea! Why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?” You spoke boldly into the phone. You knew Yoongi was stubborn and not one to let up easily, so you anticipated his response. “Because you’re not fucking saying anything worth listening too.” And with that, the phone clicked, and he hung up.

-----

You were so confused. What had just happened? Did you do something to Yoongi you were not aware about, why was he so angry at you? The motel you were heading to was probably gross and dirty, but you did not even care. You had spent so much time getting ready for your date with Yoongi, and then the argument, if you could even call it that. You were exhausted and you just wanted to pass out and forget about what happened with Yoongi. You wanted to forget about Yoongi. Just like he had forgotten about you.

-----

If you liked this fic, please feel free to buy me a kofi! ❤

[holden-norgorov]

I was wrong: an apology for Show!Kaz.

Listen, at first I didn't even want to write this post down, but as I noticed that a considerable amount of people have been showing disappointment toward Kaz not being "smart enough" in comparison to the book, I feel the need to point some things out with the hope of making you re-evaluate your line of thinking.

The thing is, Kaz Brekker in the show is a character that very much grows to book-readers with a needed careful and attentive rewatch.

I binged the whole season in a consecutive-7h-long binge-watching session during April 23rd, and came out of it feeling mildly disappointed with the way Kaz had been written (but not portrayed; Freddy was truly amazing). The one aspect that really bugged me at first was that his typical modus operandi when it came to plotting and scheming (by which I mean, keeping the big picture of his plans to himself and revealing just tiny pieces to everyone else according to each one's strengths and weaknesses, so as to make sure to reach the maximum potential of success while risking failure as little as possible) seemed to be kinda absent. I could easily make peace with Kaz not being as ruthless as he is in SoC, because the writers couldn't possibly make only-viewers willing to root for someone like Kaz without presenting at least some way in which he was vulnerable compared to other villainous characters. And to be honest, the fact that Kaz was ambushed by Pekka and forced to his knees not only nicely ties up with him wishing for Pekka to kneel in front of him at the beginning of SoC, but it also provides a reason as to why he would become closed-off and hesitant to apologize to Inej in the future. He was so concerned and willing to openly apologize to Inej in this scene that he lowered his guard enough without thinking and ended up giving Pekka access to Inej's name and revealing to him his own soft spot for her, before being beaten up.

That said, this was not my issue with the character. My issue was with the absence of his modus operandi as a masterful planner. I just didn't feel it during the binge-watch. But then I carefully rewatched the show, paying close attention to the actual succession of events more than to how accurate the characterization of the Crows was compared to the books. And I completely changed my mind.

If you pay attention, you can see that Kaz has been manipulating Arken from the very beginning, and everything Arken has accomplished was made possible because Kaz wanted it to happen, so that Arken would believe to be one step ahead of him and not see his betrayal coming. He quickly realizes that he and Arken think alike, and that he has to find a way to outsmart him.

As soon as the Conductor appears in the show, Kaz points out that he reached out to him not only because he can make them cross the Fold, but also because he smuggles Grisha who are unwilling to fight out of the Little Palace. He immediately grasps that the Conductor actively profits from the existence of the Fold and therefore that his own transport has to be constantly operative and effective. Which makes him realize that there has to be a political interest in his smuggling business for it to be allowed to flourish and survive undisturbed, and that someone has to financially back him up and subsidize the mantainance of the train and the feasibility of the crossing.

Soon after the Crows discovered that Nina had been captured and could no longer guide them to the Little Palace, Arken tries to sabotage their mission by convincing them to abandon it. This is where Kaz understands that he is actively interested in their kidnapping of the Sun Summoner to not happen, and begins suspecting he might have a separate agenda.

He purposefully risks the whole mission on Jesper not gambling everything away while looking for alabaster coal by deciding to grab the goat by himself, which is a less time-consuming task. This grants him the opportunity to attend to a quick rally for West Ravka's independence led by General Zlatan, where he sees Arken retiring with him in a private tent. His suspects about Arken are validated, and he understands that Arken has been smuggling Grisha out of East Ravka to the West with the support of Zlatan, who is also making some kind of alliance with Fjerdians and keeping a blind-eye to druskelle hunting and capturing Grisha (as we find out later on).

While they are crossing the Fold, Kaz is visibly skeptical of Arken's story about the transport being conveniently effective because of his knowledge of engineering and physics, and a chunk of luck. Arken seems to know too well how to safely cross the Fold, and the trasport seems to have worked far too many times for it to be the product of the underground, illegal practice of just one man.

In East Ravka, Kaz comes up with the Royal Archive Heist with the hope of stealing the Little Palace blueprints from the Palace of Kribirsk. But there's a very short scene here, which apparently seems unimportant but is actually pivotal: Kaz gives Arken money to make friends with East Ravkans so as to grant them a safe passage to Os Alta. Keep in mind: at this point Kaz is sure that Arken has been given by Zlatan a personal agenda to carry out regarding the Sun Summoner (I genuinely believe he also grasps that the secret plan is to kill her, so as to prevent the Fold from being destroyed and their smuggling business from being no longer profitable), so he knows Arken has total interest in making sure that they actually have a ride to the Little Palace. Which means, by urging him to "make some friends", Kaz already knows Arken will come up with a plan to be able to arrive to Os Alta and carry out his own mission at any costs, if the blueprints of the Little Palace that they are planning to steal end up being useless. And not only that: he wants Arken to believe he is being one-step ahead of them by "saving their asses" with this back-up plan, so as to easily come to the conclusion that the Crows have no reason to distrust him (how could they, when he finds them a second way-in?) and completely disregard the idea that Kaz might stab him in the back before he does the same thing to them. This is some mastermind thinking and completely IC for Kaz, because all the inner workings of his schemes go completely unnoticed on the outside.

Now that Arken proudly looks like the one who managed to grant them passage to Os Alta, he has no reason to believe Kaz might have ulterior motives when he decides to be the one carrying out a preliminary exploration of the Little Palance's hallways, despite his wounded leg making it difficult for him. But here's when Kaz sees Marie and immediately understands that she's supposed to be a decoy for Alina. So he coldly plans the whole kidnapping operation so as to make sure Arken ends up trying to kill (or directly killing) Marie. Which is why he shows no surprise when Arken reveals he can actually open the Fabrikator-made door with a device he carries with himself (probably provided by Zlatan to be able to get access to Alina's private rooms, or maybe already in his possession from when he had smuggled other Grisha out previously), and shows no hesitation when saying outwardly to everyone that Arken will be the one actually carrying out the kindnapping just because "he knows his way around Grisha locks". I actually believe Inej senses that there's something going on that she doesn't fully know when Kaz so light-heartedly allows Arken to lay his hands on their 1 Mln Kruge prize, but her suspicions (likely born out because she knows Kaz too well) are quickly put to rest and given an explaination only after Arken effectively falls into his trap.

After Alina escapes from the Crows in the following episode, we are led to believe that Kaz abandons the idea of kidnapping her again because of Inej, and this turns out to be actually true (despite Inej herself being incredibly suspicious of this, because of how unseemly it would be). Inej also believes Kaz to be so calculating that she points out that he might have planned to let Alina go in the first place and to detonate Arken's transport so as to travel with the same sandskiff Alina is embarking on and kindap her there. Inej would not have such a suspicion if Kaz's reputation didn't live up to that modus operandi.

While we actually learn that Kaz was being genuine with Inej about having abandoned the idea of kidnapping Alina, we also quickly learn that Kaz has spent the last two episodes silently coming up with a whole new other plan to make sure they can go back to Ketterdam without being killed by Dreesen and Pekka Rollins.

Now, as you can see, this is actually a lot. And this whole progression of events is handled so smoothly by the writing that it's fully admirable only by rewatching the show and paying close attention to Kaz's actions, while also knowing how his mind works. All of this is internal workings, which is typical Kaz.

So, I was wrong. His modus operandi is very much present. It's just barely detectable, as it should be for it to be believable. I hope this might reassure some deluded fans who came out of their watching session feeling let down by Kaz not looking "smart enough". It's all there! And the fact that so many of us couldn't see it at first hand, if you think about it, is just further proof that Kaz's intelligence and ability to scheme were handled extremely well. They couldn't make his mental workings too obvious to the casual viewers, or the character would have lost what actually makes him brilliant, which is the ability to outsmart others without being detected, exposed or anticipated.

[imaginewarehouse]

Marcus White x Jonah’sSister!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: 

You find out that you are pregnant... with Marcus' miracle baby.

Warnings: Pregnancy, panic attack

🔆  🔆  🔆

Carefully, I pick out one of the pregnancy tests from the shelf. Then grab another... 2 more... and another. Just to be sure.

As I go up to the pharmacy desk, I thank god that Tate isn't working here anymore; I never would've gotten away with this. He would've snitched to Jonah or something, for his own sociopathic enjoyment. Instead, the new guy thankfully rings up and bags my items casually, not really caring what he flings into the white plastic bag- then hands it to me with a soulless customer service smile. If I had to describe it, I'd say its if the man had been working here for years before finally letting the job kill him on the inside- just in time for the wind to change and stick his face like that. Honestly, I never see the guy without this smile. Not even in the breakroom. Its unnerving.

Still, I take the bag and smile back even though I know he for sure doesn't really mean it and turn around so I can walk (The long way around the store, so I don't pass the doors to the warehouse) towards the employee bathrooms... but stop short, jolting into panic mode immediately. Freeze, freeze, freeze!

There's Isaac, standing as tall as a bear in my path behind the aisles, with a scanner in his hand and a surprised look on his face. Or at least as surprised as he would ever convey.

Clearly, though, he saw the tests. And I'm screwed. He is absolutely the well, second last person I wanted to catch me doing this; Buying these.

A nervous smile flickers onto my face and I walk the short ways over to him, hugging the bag to my front. He's still just staring; Mouth half open and eyes a little less dead, then usual. "Oh, hey Isaac! How's is going? You got sent to pharmacy today? That s-sucks... " Honestly I didn't think he was allowed to be assigned pharmacy...

Completely by-passing the option to forget what he just saw and exchange polite chit-chat with me, he instead closes his mouth and his eyes, shakes his head and then opens his eyes again. Then inhales. "Are those what I think those are?"

"Wh-what?"

"Pregnancy tes-"

Shit- Giving him a desperate expression, revealing my true feelings today - being complete and utter panic, - I cut him off. "SHHH! Isaac! No- uh. Yes. Um... Would you believe these aren't for me?"

"Mmm... " His face twists slightly into one of thought, tightening his lips together and sizing me up. "No, I don't think so."

"Well!- " I'm totally ready to make up an excuse... but peter out as soon I try. I could do it. I could string together some kind of half-believable bullshit like 'They're for Amy', but he would still go and tell Marcus and he would find me and... I would still have to have the conversation earlier then I want to. So instead I drop the façade, and my shoulders, and show just how tired I am. "I want to find out myself before breaking the news to Marcus. Okay? He might be unhappy about the idea and then we do the test and it turns out I'm not pregnant and then I just stressed us both out, for no reason! And, on the other hand, what if he wants it and it turns out I'm wrong about this? Please, Isaac, just don't tell him yet. Please, please." I feel like no matter how many pleases I use they may still not change anything. But I'm desperate.

He stands still for a few minutes... so long in fact I think he may be in shock himself, or having some kind of drug induced anxiety attack, and am about to wave my hand up in his face or say his name again, when he finally breathes a little more obviously and I relax back down to earth. "... Well, lets go find out then, right?"

"What- You- you want to come?" Something in me relaxes at the thought- I don't really want to do this alone. I want someone there, like in the movies, to hold the box and just read me the instructions. But I imagined it would be someone I'm actually close friends with, who can hold my hand and wouldn't care that it recently touched a pee-stick. I did not expect that person to be Isaac - Isaac, who likes to watch homeless people kill each other with shopping trollies and sticks and trash can shields like in a horrible, pitiful, modern-day coliseum, - in a million years.

But he nods.

"Yeah, sure." He puts his scanner on the shelf, and we set off the way I was going. He seems to silently understand why we have to go the long way around- to avoid passing the doors to the warehouse. Or he just doesn't care. Either way, I'm thankful he doesn't try to re-rout my course. Or even mention it. "Good excuse to slack off work... besides I should probably get out of this section, anyway. Hey, it is Marcus- right?"

I sigh- I suppose the companionable silence was too much to ask for. "Yes Isaac. If its a thing, in the first place."

"Yeah, right."

___TIME SKIP___

"You're having a miracle baby, you know? He's not supposed to be able to do that- isn't that kinda... good?"

I only whimper in response from |my new home| the cubicle I've been taking the tests in, holding my head. How am I going to do this? I have college, I have this job, I have my studio apartment to continue paying rent for! Marcus and I don't even... there isn't even... we haven't labelled it yet, and... Oh god, I'm shaking.

Isaac heaves a sigh outside, his chair creaking as he shifts. "Well, that's... three positives, so far." Isaac's memorable, slow drawl seeps through the cracks in my cubicle and takes away my thoughts for a moment. And my breath.

3 positives.

3 positives.

Not one, not two... three.

... Then he goes on, a whiny tone in his voice. "Do we really need to do another one?"

I breathe in deep. I don't know what else to do. The next logical step would be telling Marcus or Jonah, but I'm ready for neither of those. So procrastination through pregnancy test, it has to be. "Uh, yes. We do. Um... can you, please?- "

"Ughhh. Yeah, yeah. I'll get you more water. Stay here." Then Isaac, who has surprisingly been very helpful, even getting me tape so I can stick the finished tests up to the door in front of me so that I can compare them easier, disappears out of the women's bathroom, leaving me with my thoughts.

I peak back up at the tests, feeling panic fill up my chest cavity like its anxiety gas and my rib cage is the gas chamber- and my heart's the poor organ at deaths row. I'm... pregnant.

Oh my god. I'm pregnant. There is a human being growing inside me, right now. A human being who will require time that I definitely don't have, money that its parents certainly could not scavenge if we scavenged for used soda cans like Myrtle and sold them in our spare time, effort that I'm terrified might not even be in me at this point... A baby that needs some semblance of a comfortable, stable home, which I do not have for it.

I'm just burrowing my face into my arms and knees atop the toilet seat when the bathroom door opens again. Looking up, I immediately ask for Isaac- because that was really freaken quick, for him.

And get a familiar, confused sounding voice call back "... No, its Amy... Sorry, I just need to pee. Are you going to be long?".

"Oh!" Oops. Immediately, head going empty with panic, I unlock the door and and jump out to let her in. "No! I just finished. Um- go ahead. I'll just wash- wash my hands."

Now seeing each other, I see Amy's forehead crease and her eyebrows furrow in confusion and concern at my pink cheeked/pale faced appearance and the panicky way I'm talking. She reaches out toward me. "... Y/N, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I laugh, the most nervous sounding laugh ever. "Don't worry."

Amy's nose screws up. "... why were you waiting for Isaac?"

"We-we're just having an affair."

... what??

Her eyebrows furrow even deeper. "Okay... I'm just gonna go... pee... now... " She says slowly, gradually disappearing into the cubicle; Not quite sure what to say back to that.

I sigh in relief when her eyes aren't on me anymore and the door locks, thinking flushing some water onto my face might calm me down, when a loud GASP comes from Amy and I i m m e d i a t e l y remember the tests stuck to the wall. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!!

Amy comes right out of there, looking at me with completely new eyes now- understanding truly why I'm pale, I'm sure, and definitely why I was acting the way I was. "Y/N! You're... pregnant??!" I open my mouth to respond. Maybe say 'yes' seeing as that's the truth and the only proper answer, but I choke on my words and instead say, "Isaacs getting more water so I can take another test."

"I think 3 is a pretty conclusive number!"

"I-" She is not wrong, but I don't want to do anything else but take another easy test, and get defensive instead. "I bought four, I'm doing four!"

"Wh- Is Isaac the father!?"

"God, no." Isaac and I both spit back in offense.

I whip my head around when i realise he wasn't supposed to be there yet at all, and- there he is in the doorway.

... Jonah right behind him looking sicker then me. My jaw drops. "You brought Jonah??!"

"Uh, no, I was just waiting outside for, um," He gestures to Amy and my stomach drops. So he heard the whole thing. Could this get any worse??! Well I mean of course it could, Marcus could be here. Stupid question. Don't ask questions like that; It always summons the worst, in movies. "You're pregnant!? Who- you know what, unimportant right now. Do you wanna sit down??"

I shake my head, taking a deep breath and holding my hand out to Isaac. "No, I'm fine. I have a test to do. Water, Isaac?"

"Here." He hands me the bottle, and I go to disappear back into the cubicle before jumping back away again, remembering that Amy still needs to go and gesturing for her to go, ridiculously enough. She shakes her head and gestures back, like I'm crazy, to take it instead.

I do so and lock myself in, starting to chug the whole bottle.

A blessed silent moment passes... before Jonah speaks. "Is the 4th test really necessary?- "

"For the love of god- Let me take the fourth goddamn test for fucks sake!"

___TIME SKIP___

"... so what is it?" Amy asks 10 minutes later, breaking the deafening silence, as I sit back down on the toilet seat and hold my face in my hands again.

"... Positive... "

Isaac sighs. "Who would have guessed, really?"

No one tells him to shut up. He's right. But also no one agrees, because I'm a fucking 23 year old pregnant girl and I will kill them.

"So... what now?" Amy asks, speaking to the room, but expecting me to answer.

"Well, I'd like less people to be here, honestly." I pipe up, removing my hands from my mouth to speak clearer.

"Done. Isaac, Jonah, get out."

"What? I was here before you... lady." Isaac exclaims, offended, but a moment later I hear the door close, anyway. I assume it had something to do with Amy's signature resting bitch face- cranked up to eleven. "We'll just wait out here, then! Yell if you need us."

"Yep... " Amy responds to him, sounding exhausted and I can totally imagine her rolling her eyes right now. She takes a deep breath, and sighs it out. I hear her rest carefully down into the chair Isaac vacated. For a moment she thankfully says nothing, and I do wonder whether I should... but I don't know what to so say. So I just stay hidden in the cubicle, silent until Amy takes another deep breath and asks the question. "Who is it?"

I take a deep breath, knowing that once I say it I cant take it back, while on the other hand... its done, anyway. He's already the father and I cant change that (Would I if I could, though?) but telling Amy may either make or break my confidence in having him as the dad of my kid. Not that I have a choice... I just know that Amy's going to be worried about it and I don't know if I can handle the criticism right this moment.

Finally I spit it out though. Marcus.

...

"Oh- wow."

Uncomfortable, I shift on the closed toilet seat. "Yeah."

Her voice gets higher, clearly fake and trying to sound like this is better then she really feels it is. My heart plummets into my stomach like a terrible roller coaster. "Well, that's... " She pauses, searching for a safe word to use, assumedly. "Great!"

"... 'great?" For some reason that word, and Amy's tone... hits something wrong, in me. Panic flickers deep in my chest and my stare on the wall gets colder, harder. "... you think this is 'great'? Really? You? No, you don't. Do you hear yourself? 'Great'. Puh! This is Marcus. 'Been to jail' Marcus. 'Ex Con' Marcus. 'Creator and CEO of BOOB CHEESE', Marcus. Marcus who shits in the shower and thinks breastfeeding is akin to whipping your dick out in public, Marcus who has a tattoo of his mother on his back for Valentines day- "

Okay so maybe I'm just picking on him because I'm inadequate, because I don't have the time for a baby, because if I'm trusted with this perfect thing then I will ruin it... I'll pick work, instead of love, and they'll grow up with less of it then they should have and I'll be to blame...

But I don't want to address that yet. I cant.

"Y/N."

"Neither of us even have the money for this." I'm panicking again. "He lives with his mother! And- what if he gets mad... " I suddenly get worried, my eyes go round and I cover my mouth. "I really like him Amy. I cant have him mad at me. Not for this. Not him. Please don't let him hate m- "

"Y/N! Calm the fuck down, okay, right now. Don't speak. Just... take some deep breathes okay? First of all, Marcus is not going to be 'mad' at you. He's sure as hell is not going to hate you. You're spiralling, just take some long breaths." Amy makes it sound like a ridiculous idea with her tone, that he might be mad or he might hate me. I do as she says as she talks; take deeeeeep breaths. Slowly, I start to clam down. "He might be shocked, yeah, but he's- he's not like that. He's an idiot, not a total asshole. Take it from me, I know what I'm talking about here. I promise you. Whether he'll be good at being a parent, is... debatable." Everything she says makes sense. And she would know- you've met Adam. "But he'll be there, at the very least.

And... and you'll be a great mum, anyway."

I feel my heartbeat start to slow down again as I breath. I close my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and rest back against the wall, carefully.

I really hope she's right on that second part.

"... thank you."

___OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM___

Jonah rubs his neck in nervousness at his sister in the bathroom dealing with something like this, pacing around the small hallway area before turning to Isaac. He raises his dark eyebrows. "So, do you know... wh-who?? I mean... the guy, that- I mean, does he work here, or... ???"

"Its Marcus." Isaac pulls out a bag of trail mix from his vest pocket and starts picking through, standing by the bathroom calmly. The brother to whom he just broke such detrimental news - that his sister, has Marcus White of BOOB CHEESEs baby inside her, - widens his eyes until they're more like dinner plates. "Yeah, they've been talking for a while, man. You didn't know?"

"I- I just thought she wasn't interested in... guys... " All her time must be busy with balancing both school and work, plus her friends... how can she possible have had time to... But on the other hand, he realises that its a bit naïve to think that his younger sister still isn't interested in 'boys'. Part of it might have been wishful thinking.

Isaac barks out a laugh. Its a stale, dry sound that makes Jonah really uncomfortable. "She also went out with Tate. Had a bit of a thing for Sayid for a while, too... "

"What!?- "

"Jonah!" At Amy's exit from the bathroom, he calms down immediately and straightens up. She raises her brows at him. She nods into the bathroom. "She wants you."

Yep- it takes him about 2 seconds to fly into the bathroom... to find his sister still hidden in the cubicle. He sighs, pressing his hand against the door. "Y/N? Amy said you wanted me. Do you want me to get you something to eat? Its just, I'm the only one who knows your snack preferences... and maybe we shouldn't eat in here, cuz its kinda gross... but if you want to, that's cool too!"

She doesn't respond for a minute, silent apart from the careful peeling of tape from the cubicle door.

Then the peeling sounds stop. A moment later her voice, sounding small and tentative as if just saying this would open Pandora's box, slips out. "... how're mum and dad gonna react?"

Its a rhetorical question. They both know it'll be bad - and they'll like Marcus even less, - , but its said so he knows what she's worried about. He sighs and leans back on the door. "Well very, very badly. But that doesn't matter right now. I'll take care of them."

"How valiant." Her voice is still small, quiet. But she sounds less scared; She always believes her big brother. Even when she knows logically that he cant protect her from them. Not their parents.

"Well, I try."

"... hm."

___TIME SKIP, BACK OUTSIDE OF THE BATHROOM___

"She is not leaving that bathroom," Isaac shakes his head. Its been an hour, and they've all been in there with her a couple times but she has not left the cubicle. Not even peaked her head out. She hasn't even e a t e n anything while she's been in there. Its starting to worry them. "Maybe we should go get Marcus."

Immediately Jonah looks up from his phone - having been reading up on pregnancy. What is going to start happening to his sister, now?? - and shakes his head, firmly. "No, she'll tell him when she feels comfortable with it. We aren't doing that."

"Yeah, it isn't up to us." Amy agrees, while still looking like on a deep, unsympathetic level that is tired of standing here... she definitely wants to drag Marcus here. But she also knows that Jonah is, unfortunately, a n n o y i n g l y, right.

Isaac heaves a deep, frustrated huff and gets comfortable on the floor.

___TIME SKIP: 3 HOURS LATER___

Finally, Jonah breathes in a deep, exhausted breath and puts his phone away. That's enough of that. He's sufficiently disgusted. He looks down the hallway, out to the store. Then to Amy playing solitaire on her phone and Isaac drawing slowly on the ground. "... Well, I mean, it's Marcus's baby too, right? He should know... right?"

"Mhm,"

"Yep, that's right."

"And... besides, Y/N might need him, right? Maybe he could get her out."

"You make some good points."

"I just wish they weren't points we already mentioned." Amy looks up from her phone and turns it off, flashing an sarcastic, displeased kind of smile. "Earlier."

"Yeah well... " He rolls his shoulders, looking away from Amy's piercing gaze- god, her face is like a loaded gun with no safety. And he's totally into it. He coughs, then whispers. "So, who wants to go get him??"

"Not it."

"I would, but ah... nah. I'm down for the count, down here."

"So... me."

Amy nods, making a 'shoo'-ing gesture with her hand. "Yep, you, Jiminy Cricket. You made us stay here for hours- you go get Marcus."

Looking to Isaac for help, Jonah is just met with the deadest eye's he has ever come upon, so he eventually sighs deeply, wiping sweaty hands on his jeans. "Fff-fine. Wait here."

___IN THE WAREHOUSE___

"Uh, hello? Hi- have you seen Marcus anywhere? Wh- No? Well if you see him can you tell him I'm looking for him? Its about Y/N."

The warehouse worker with the nametag reading 'Nigel' that Jonah's never spoken to before in his life and who prior to his words, had the new deadest eyes that Jonah has ever seen, suddenly beams- a twinkle of evil mischief in his eyes. "Oooooh, cats outta the bag, huh?"

Jonah blinks. "What?"

"You found out about Marcus and your sister, and now you're gonna beat him up? I was waiting for this moment." Nigel clarifies, actively looking around the room for Marcus now as Jonah rushes to explain that no, that is not what he's here for. Please don't say that so loudly- "HEY RICO! You seen Marcus around?? Y/N's brother's here to deliver an ass beating." Half a second passes while Jonah's ears ring from Nigel's screeching before something new apparently occurs to the warehouse worker as his eyes widen and he turns again to who must be Rico. "And you owe me 20 bucks!! Told ya he'd come!"

How often is Y/N in this place? Just seems weird, these guy's saying her name so casually... Jonah's forehead crinkles in thought as Rico rolls his eyes and groans, walking off to assumedly find Marcus. I'm learning a lot about my sister, today... Not sure how I feel about it...

Jesus Christ, has she eaten the cheese, too??!

Jonah doesn't get a moment to panic about that particular bit of nightmare material before he realises Nigel is still standing, awkwardly now, arms straight at his sides and eyebrows raised expectantly, right by him. Watching him, instead of returning to his job. Jonah raises his own eyebrows back; Shrugging. Like, what?? What do you want?

Nigel just just shrugs and shakes his head back passive aggressively, crossing his arms. Like, he doesn't know. Fine, we'll just stand in silence, then...

"Jonah! What's up, buddy? Visiting me in the warehouse- this is so nice! Want me to take my break now, cuz we totally can. Just let me wrap one last thing up and then we'll be back in my car, together. Listening to tunes; Ya know. Guy buddy stuff." T h a n k f u l l y, Marcus seems to rush from wherever he was in the depths of shelf-land when Rico apparently found him and cuts off the awkward stand off between the two men, dropping a hand on Jonah's shoulder and beaming. "What up, man?"

Quick to turn away from Nigel and get to what his mission really is at the moment, Jonah graciously ignores the touchy greeting... despite the awkwardness on his end and the fact that Nigel is still there, watching.  "Actually, I wanted to talk about, uh, Y/N."

Marcus' eyes immediately widen and his eyebrows raise, taking his hand off Jonah in favour of ringing his hands and stepping back nervously himself. "Oh, man... you found out, didn't you? Did she tell you? Cuz like, I know the bro code says its not cool to bone your friend's sister but- "

"Ah, ah, ah!" No, no, no, Jonah does not want to hear those words. No. "No, um. That's fine, whatever. Y/N's sexuality is her own. But- "

"Its a ruse, Marcus. He's here to kick your ass." Nigel insists, still very much there despite everything about this situation having nothing to do with him and instead just freaks Marcus out more as the warehouse head's eyes go even wider and he takes another step back- raising his hands in surrender.

"No, no! Nigel!- That's... no. I'm not here to kick anyone's ass! The asses here are all perfectly safe, I promise. Okay?" When Nigel's expression doesn't change a lick, Jonah gives up and just gestures off in a random direction. "Nigel, could you give us a minute, here?"

"What, so you can jump my boy here alone?"

"Alone?? Who's alone?" Jonah is getting increasingly irritated. "We're literally surrounded by other warehouse workers!! Ones who are actually doing their jobs, by the way. Maybe you should- "

Marcus finally intercepts and pats Nigel's shoulder, getting his attention from looking confrontationally at Jonah and smiles relatively softly at him. "Its okay, Nigel. If Jonah wants to kick me in my junk once- he's kinda entitled to it. Bro code and everything. Why don't you get back to work? I got this. Thanks, though." Nigel leaves, with that, but certainly not without giving Jonah one last greasy look over his shoulder and an 'Okay, Marcus. But call me, if... you know... '. Along with an extra evil squinty look at Jonah. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks bud. I know I can count on you." When Nigel is finally out of the picture, Jonah feels fatigued and just wants to get back to Y/N. At least its just him and Marcus now, though, so they should be doing that very soon. "So! What'd you want? If you really do wanna hurt me, then, can we go outside? By my car ideally, so I can drive the emergency room right after? Or you, cuz I mean... you're small, man. And I'll have to defend myself. Even if its fair. Its instinct, you know? You get it."

"I'm not gonna hurt you?? Why does everyone think- " What is wrong with people here? Do I give off a confrontational aura right now, or something??? "Ugh, whatever. Y/N needs you- she's been in the bathroom for 4 hours. We did try to get her out ourselves, but our attempts have been... l-lacklustre." Lacklustre? Okay, even he is surprised to hear that one come out of him.

"She needs... me? Like, she said that?" All of a sudden Marcus' expression changes. Worry wells in his eyes and his forehead creases, and he glances at the door out to the floor before returning to Jonah, looking restless now as his body fights with him to go, immediately. "Oh, what's wrong with her? Is she sick??"

"Uhh... in a manner of speaking... Look, I just think she needs to see you right now."

That makes the taller man move towards the door, clipboard dropped on a box on his way. "Of course; Right away man. Come on, lets go see her. So you really don't know what's wrong?? Should we pick up some root beer on the way?" Jonah follows behind, hand on his chin as he answers Marcus' questions. Wow... He did not expect such a response from him... He... kinda respects it, in a way. Its a pleasant surprise, at least.

___BACK TO YOU AND YOUR POV. God I hate third person. Its so hard, I want to cry___

"Y/N? You in here??" As soon as that voice registers in my mind, my heart beat skips in the worst way and I almost start to full on panic all over again, but thankfully instead just freeze and only widen my eyes. What the hell? The door to the employee bathroom closes as Marcus shuts himself in and you watch his boots appear under the door to your stall. "What's going on? Jonah couldn't tell me what's wrong with you," Jonah. I glare at the stall door. I'm going to kill him. "But I brought you some root beer for you- a total cure all. I promise. And some (Enter your favourite snack) cuz I know you like them. Here," He stretches up and holds the items over the stall door, and, feeling genuinely touched that Marcus was sweet enough to bring these, I get up off the toilet seat and accept them from him.

"Thank you, that's really nice. I'm... not sure, that the root beer will fix this, though." I speak carefully, sitting down and holding the items in my lap close to my stomach.  

"Course it will! I poured some in Mateo's ear once when he had an infection... I think it worked?"

Probably not. "This is a lot bigger then an ear infection... Kinda permanent, too?"

"Oh god, is it cancer?" He pauses for a moment but before I can put that particular worry at rest... or remind him that cancer is not always permanent... he makes it worse, and I fight not to facepalm. "The plague??! Its still a thing, you know. Jesus, its not that is it? Please tell me its not that! That would be the worst!" I mean... yeah, it would.

"Oh- no no! No, nothing like that!! I'm just pregnant!"

... wait.

Immediately I want to take back my words and say them differently- because is that really the way I just broke it to him?? Oh my god. My hand slaps over my mouth- then pulls back an inch to speak again, but is definitely on guard to slap again and prohibit anymore stupid to come out. "I mean! ... N-no big deal?" My voice gets tiny. "At least its not the plague, right?" I'm just making this worse, so I cover my mouth again.

Marcus does not respond, and I can imagine his face crystal clear, without having to look. He would have his mouth hanging open like a cartoon character, his shoulders have dropped, eyes are blank, and he's pale as hell. Oh god... oh god oh go oh god... I cover my whole face now and just try to breath evenly, and not talk anymore. I was right! He's not going to even like me anymore, this is going to ruin how he looks at me- I cant have Marcus look at me coldly. I really cant.

Finally, a few minutes later the door to the bathroom creaks open again and I know it's not Marcus escaping because I can still see his boots under the door and they haven't shifted in a while. Amy's voice rings out, too loudly in the stock silent bathroom. "... everything okay in here? We haven't heard anything in a while- Marcus?"

He doesn't respond.

I hear Amy walk in now, her heels click-click-clicking on the tiled floor. "Marcus? Marcus, are you okay?" She snaps her fingers, assumedly near his unresponsive face. I slip my fingers down to just cover my mouth, straining my ears to hear any movement from him. "Wake up!" Another snap. "Marcus wake up."

All of a sudden I hear shifting and his boots shift slightly and I squeeze my eyes slowly shut- now he speaks. Now's the part where he speaks. Now's the worst part! He either leaves, or stays. "Uhh... I'm awake, okay?"

...

Amy and I are both startled by the seriousness in Marcus' voice- Amy evidently in the way she responds, backing out of the room. "... Okay! Um, well talk. To Y/N. I'm... just gonna... wait outside... "

Marcus just grunts in response, turning back to my stall door. Then he wraps his knuckles against the surface and I flinch- unsure whether to unlock it and be a grown up or stay hidden away like I really, really want to. Its not like I'm afraid he'll hurt me or anything, not at all! Its just... I don't like to disappoint people and I'm terrified at seeing his face. "Y/N? Can you come out, now?"

"Ummm... no... " I wince, keeping my eyes closed to the world. As if that'll hide me from it.

"No???" He asks, bewildered.

"No... "

Marcus' voice isn't at all as cold-serious as it was when he spoke to Amy, but still. There is still definitely an unfamiliar focused quality about it, and its making me nervous. "What? Come on. What do you think's gonna happen? I'll yell at you? Come on, that's not gonna happen; Come out. "

"I'd really rather stay in here... " I fire back.

"Don't be scared of me." He really does sound trustworthy... but that fear, man; She's one unrelenting bitch.

My voice goes high pitched when I answer, too vehement to be the truth. "I-I'm not! Silly! Why would I be scared of you??" My eyes open up again and I just wince. Such a liar.

"Aghh... " I just listen to him shifting around out there looking for something for a bit, or thinking of what to say next, while I myself sit and think comfortable that there is nothing that will make this worse, seeing as I'm safe and sound in this toilet stall... before his boots disappear from my vision under the door and I hear him disappear out of the bathroom then return again almost immediately, going into the stall beside me and putting something down on the toilet seat in there.

Oh my god- he wouldn't dare! He would not-

Then all of a sudden he's climbing over the wall and I have to jump off the toilet seat and press closely to the stall door, root beer and snack still hugged in my arms like teddy bears. Marcus eases himself over the wall and onto the toilet seat before my eyes, then jumps off it to the tiles again in front of me, while I gape wide at him. "I- what- Marcus!"

"Well you weren't coming out! It was my only option!" He exclaims, and now that I see him I do relax a bit. There's no coldness in his face now, and there is certainly no unfamiliar, unfriendly seriousness, either, seeing as the man just climbed into a toilet stall to get to me. Very Marcus-y. I slowly let out a relieved breath, which is still also a 'calm down' breath as the pressure is certainly still on. I can see him, but he can also see me.

Eager to avoid the issue at hand, I snap. "You might've kicked me!"

"No, I wouldn't have." He makes a defensive 'pshhh' sound immaturely, waving me off with a hand before resting them both on his hips and looking right at me. I give him my own dubious look right back- What makes him so sure??? He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, anyway." Suddenly, a beautiful big smile spreads across his face; the kind that still makes me a little bit weak and almost forces me to smile back. Even now, in this situation. "This is great."

And then I'm speechless, mouth closed and eyebrows furrowed together. ... Great? What? Quickly he moves to clarify, before grinning that goofy grin of his. "The pregnancy! Man, I've seen enough girlfriends get pregnant over the years... its nice to see one having my baby." A moment passes and my system is just registering this reaction - not even relieved, yet. Just in shock and a little less anxiety, - before he drops his smile, raises an eyebrow, and adds: "It is mine, right?"

Still shocked, I answer as if the question was more on the lines of 'That was my cupcake that I just ate, right?'. Meaning, probably too casually. "Oh- oh, yeah! Abs- absolutely." He doesn't seem to mind.

He beams again. "Great! We'll be awesome parents- that is assuming you wanna keep the baby, right?"

"Uh... " All I want to say is yes, right now. Even as the complications of raising a baby right now linger in the forefront of my mind. But at the same time I'm looking at Marcus and I just want to. I want to have the baby, and I want to do it with him... in the moment, he's the absolute perfect person to do it with. I choke out, "Yeah."

He fist pumps the air at that response, and finally the relief starts to settle in my stomach and my heart... a smile grows on my own face. My eyes even get a little watery with the powerful relief. "YES! That's right, I'm gonna be a Dad. Whoo! We gotta tell everyone. But how, do you think? Should we get a cake or something that says it in icing?? Or should we just go out there and announce it over the speakers? Or should we just not tell anyone? Cuz on the one hand, I wanna tell everyone- but on the other... I don't really want Carol to know you're pregnant. That could be bad."

"Um... " I don't even know what to say. I just want to hug him, so I do. I step forward and wrap my arms around his middle, burying my face in his coveralls and the body I've become so familiar with over the past months that smells so uniquely - and not always so pleasantly, but definitely comforting,  - like Marcus and squeeze tight, closing my eyes. He smells like that 'new furniture' smell that's really just 'warehouse', and an unfamiliar home, and a little bit of B.O.

Thank god.

Amy was right. Of course she was. Even when I was stressing, I knew the image I had of Marcus getting mad about this didn't feel quite right, but... you have to prepare yourself for the worst, you know? I'm just so glad he's the way he is though, as he wraps his arms around my shoulders in return and bends his neck to press his cheek to my head. "I'm really happy about this. And I know we haven't figure anything out. With us, with money, with anything actually, but... we will, okay? I'll do my best, I promise."

"... Thank fuck." I chuckle, although its muffled and get a similar sound from him in return. "I'm really happy, too." He rubs my back in that rough, comforting way that guys do and I might as well melt; He's too wonderful. I bite my bottom lip, thinking my next move through before taking a deep breath and deciding to take the plunge and ask. "... hey... um... b-boyfriend?"

Marcus immediately pulls me back and holds me at arms length, a crazy-big grin splitting his face. "Oh, yes! This day just keeps getting better and better; Come on, we definitely have to tell everyone this, lets go." Excitedly, he slips past me and unlocks the stall door finally, but pauses and turns back to me before its pushed open at all. I tilt my head in curiosity- what's up? "Unless... congrats sex?"

...

Oh my god- a snort, transforming into a laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. I pull him closer by the front of his coveralls, grinning at both the idea and how silly he is and gently tug him down closer to my level. I close my lips and knit my eyebrows together understandingly. "... How about you come over after work? First we should probably deal with the others? You know, the ones hanging outside right now?"

"Oh, yeah, probably. Oh man- I'll be basically related to Jonah now!" Oh- well- not exactly but... okay fine. If it makes the guy happy. "Ha ha, look forward to seeing this face every Christmas, bro." Oh boy.

I just grin at that - Goodluck Jonah, - before leaning up the rest of the way and pressing a careful kiss to Marcus' lips which he immediately returns with enthusiasm, hands abandoning the stall lock and collecting my waist instead.

This is going to be okay.

It will work out. I hope.

BONUS:

Later in the breakroom while Marcus is busy with talking to some of the other Cloud 9 employees about the news, Jonah takes the seat next to me and I raise my eyebrows at him- he's obviously dying to say something. I know my brother at least that much. He sighs.

"So... you... haven't eaten the cheese, right? I mean, I have but I'm hoping you haven't been put through such, uh, cruel and unusual torture... "

"Oh, no. Absolutely not. I managed to convince him it was cannibalism for women." I grin, returning immediately to my Cloud 9 Caesar salad as Jonah sighs long and hard in relief, relaxing back into his chair.