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#Idk what else tags can fit here
tiny-tardis · 11 months
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One of my hobbies..🧩
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nonhuman burr, washington, and eliza!!!
#okay yes proportions r funky ignore that please its design explaining time#burr has a squirrel tail bc he reminds me of the squirrels on the road when ur driving towards them and they panic. not really#i thought itd be funny. he has a deer nose and when he was younger had had those fawn spots on his cheeks. v cute#he also is like stony around his joints. uhm. bc he's grounded and unchanging and it just fits yknow#and then he has the horns that form a halo. he got that from his grandfather.#okay now washington isnt just eagle wings i promise he just hides everything else bc of some leadership physiological thing#he probably has some tree shit going on. maybe a dog idk yet#if yall have ideas let me know#okay so eliza !!!!!!! i wanted to give her wings from the very beginning so here you go#(does alexander have a thing for wings..... idk you'll have to wait and see my maria design /hj)#uhm horns and flowers/plants bc i felt like it???#she has lightning down her back btw. and a feather tail. cant see it bc dress#and she also has those orbs around her. for fun. its like those spirit lights you see in ghost/alien footage#i added the lightning bc of her personality from what i can tell.#amrev#amrev au#elizabeth hamilton#elizabeth schuyler#eliza schuyler#guys which one do i use she has a lot of tags#aaron burr#aaron burr fanart#george washington#george washington fanart#.... is that not a popular tag#anyway#amrev fanart#digital art#art#if youve read this far comment “i love eliza's flowerrr” or something similar.
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sakuhina · 9 months
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Hi! Do you know any books in English about the Estado Novo Dictatorship and the subsequent 25 Abril Revolution?
Anon you asked this like months ago sorry I'm only answering this now, are you still here.
(Sorted alphabetically)
Estado Novo:
Fado and Fátima: Salazar’s Portugal in US Film Fiction
From the Armed Struggle against the Dictatorship to the Socialist Revolution: The Narrative Restraints to Lethal Violence among Radical Left Organisations in Portugal
Under the Sky (documentary about Jewish refugees in Portugal during WWII, audio is in English but subtitles in Portuguese)
Meeting Salazar: Irish dignitaries and diplomats in Portugal, 1942—1960
Home Bound: The Construct of Femininity in the Estado Novo
Memory of Resistance and the Resistance of Memory: An Analysis of the Construction of Corporatism in the First Years of the Portuguese Estado Novo
NATO's Secret Armies: Operation Gladio and Terrorism in Western Europe (Chapter 9: The secret war in Portugal)
On student movements in the decay of the Estado Novo
Portugal, Jewish Refugees, and the Holocaust
Re-reading the Photographic Archive: The Propagandistic Staging of the Portuguese Estado Novo in the Braga District
Salazar: A Political Biography
Salazar, The Dictator Who Refused To Die
Saloio Women: An Analysis of Informal and Formal Political and Economic Roles of Portuguese Peasant Women
Sixties Radicalism and Social Movement Activism - The War Against The War: Violence And Anticolonialism In The Final Years Of The Estado Novo
Territorializing Maoism: Dictatorship, War, and Anticolonialism in the Portuguese “Long Sixties”
The Memory of the Portuguese First Republic throughout the Twentieth Century
The Opposition to the 'New State' and the British Attitude at the end of the Second World War: Hope and Disillusion
The Portuguese Armed Forces and the Revolution
To Talk or Not to Talk: Silence, Torture, and Politics in the Portuguese Dictatorship of Estado Novo
Women's Organizations and Imperial Ideology under the Estado Novo
Ghosts of war: China’s relations with Portugal in the post-war period, 1945–9*
Wartime Macau: Under the Japanese Shadow*
Colonial War:
Amílcar Cabral's writings in English
Evading the War: Deserters and Draft Evaders from the Portuguese Army during the Colonial War
Killing Hope U.S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War (Mentions the CIA's role in the Colonial War + subsequent involvements in Africa during their civil wars)
Modern African Wars (2): Angola and Mozambique 1961-74
Portugal’s African Wars: Angola, Guinea-Bissao, Mozambique
Portugal's Guerrilla Wars in Africa
Samora Machel Speaks, Mozambique Speaks
The Retornados from the Portuguese Colonies in Africa
The United States and Portuguese Decolonization
25 de Abril / Carnation Revolution:
Another Country (documentary about the revolution seen first-hand by foreign journalists, available in solidaritycinema)
From the Armed Struggle against the Dictatorship to the Socialist Revolution
Out of the Shadows: Portugal from Revolution to the Present Day
Portugal, the impossible revolution?
Revolução (small video from 1975 with images and speeches from the time)
Scenes from the Class Struggle in Portugal (documentary, quality is a bit bad)
These are all the articles, documentaries and ebooks I have in English, but I have plenty more in Portuguese if anyone wants. Some of these are not *necessarily* what you asked but eh. Do note I haven't read all of these. Let me know if any of the links don't work!
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kenmaiii · 2 years
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which of my OCS would you let share the aux (all he/him) 🎶
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waywardsalt · 5 months
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on my knees gripping my head hnngggg i thought abt bellumbeck too hard
tag ramblings are fun and on brand but i have too many disorganized thoughts and tags are limiting.
anyways thinking too hard abt him is an extremely good and fun thing but i cannot draw the way i wish and can't really put my thoughts into fic form so this is very much going to be a fun ramble.
bellumbeck drives me insane we all know this. he showed up in my dream last night as of writing this sentence so he is on my mind, which is surprising bc fictional stuff doesn't usually show up coherently in my dreams but there it was.
it's so incredibly fun to think about bellumbeck. he's such a black sheep of a loz final boss, there really isnt another loz final boss like him in concept or even in 1:1 tone imo. it's so fun to take bellumbeck incredibly darkly seriously.
to be fair bellumbeck is kind of objectively a fairly dark and disturbing final boss on a conceptual level, and it's not really out of nowhere since phantom hourglass has at least a little darkness running through it even if the general tone of the game doesn't really acknowledge or take advantage of it. but if you think about it hard enough even without getting into post-game speculation in regards to what happens with linebeck, bellumbeck is kind of a dark boss and it's great. full on screen demonic possession of a major character with most of the cast incapacitated and link isolated with no escape on the ruins of the ghost ship that started everything and facing a boss that is constantly facing him and both someone he's been with the whole adventure and also the creature that's captured his friends and killed who knows how many people.
it's so oooouuuugghhhh it's so much fun to think about bellumbeck even though it's such a short encounter. it's so... the mystery around bellum, the way linebeck is built up throughout the game and saves link directly before getting possessed, the fucking on-screen vaguely violent possession (i am forever obsessed with the way bellum grabs and tugs on his arms), the way ciela is captured early into the fight, too, the first companion character you meet and, if you had her equipped, it leaves you without a fairy that follows your cursor around for the first time all game, it's very... congrats you and your friends are at rock bottom! good luck getting everyone out of there alive!!!!
of course it's not quite that because this game is geared a bit more towards younger players, but still keeps those streaks of darkness and complexity just simply because they're inevitable parts of this story and it's characters. bellumbeck. i'm talking about bellumbeck. what a soulsborne-ass final boss, huh?
there's only so much a ds game can do in terms of boss animations, but i think a lot about more complicated movements and animations for bellumbeck, so, so much character can be communicated through a boss's animations. in my mind, i enjoy bellumbeck movements with an emphasis on puppet-like flourishes and mannerisms, and an emphasis on weight with how he fights. these two go very well together, and its something i love imagining.
with the latter, an emphasis on weight, would ideally focus on the sword (and im a fan of it being this huge greatsword, reading berserk got me around to liking it because you can do that really well) and how it has to be used one-handed, with bellumbeck leveraging his own weight against it and taking advantage of momentum to use it especially effectively to turn link into a little green and red smear on the wood. attacks blending into each other as he builds up momentum, and using that weight primarily against link, who is a small opponent who relies on rolling around and can’t really stack up at all in terms of brute force.
i imagine this kind of physicality and movement would lend itself very well to bellumbeck also having more puppet-like movements, being a little too tugged-along by his attacks but still retaining his footing, his free arm being just a little too limp a little too often, and his leaning away from his sword side, likely with the intention to properly balance himself out, looks off with how his head lolls unnaturally to that side. the puppetry effect lessens as the fight wears on and bellum gets the hang of the body he’s using, but never actually goes away since he’s not looking to act properly human anyways.
just like... movement flourishes and details that could add a whole lot to the overall experience of bellumbeck that i think about often.
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good morning to people who put sugar on their cereal, people who just remembered they have to take their meds just now because i mentioned it, people who already remembered to take their meds or will remember later if they need to take them later (congrats on having your life together somewhat), people who enjoy things most would consider odd, people who wish they could dance more but can't, people who prefer more blankets to more pillows, people who search like three tags at once on ao3 that they want to read about and can't find anything with all three, people who like pepsi better than coke, people who liked something a lot as a kid and now you don't like it and hate finding things from back then, people who keep calendars to the best of their ability, people with dietary restrictions that don't often get adhered to at events, people who like making bad art, people who would like swimming if something was slightly different, people who feel judged in their circles for not liking tea, people who need to go outside more, people who don't like headphones/earbuds, people who are at least civil to children, people who give their friends strange gifts (bonus points if the friends enjoy it), people who actually listen to playlists spotify generates, people who put things in their mouths that should Not go there, people who sleep with their window open, people who love their stuffed animals, people who like doing the dishes, people who store other things in those little plastic containers that come in kinder eggs, people who don't know a lot of pop culture, people who live in small towns, people who have gotten very emotional over fanfiction before, people who are terrified of geese, people who have glow-in-the-dark stars, people who love to sing, people who remember to wash their water bottle, people who like wasps, people who believe in magic of any kind, people who enjoy camping, people who sunburn easily (i am giving you aloe and sunscreen), people who can be very childish at times, people who have cried while watching a sharknado movie, people who put holes in their clothes by fidgeting with loose threads, people who often get incorrect things assumed about them, people who need to go grocery shopping soon, people who really need to clean their room, people who used to like school but don't anymore, people who used to hate school but don't anymore, people who keep way too many tabs even though it is noticeably affecting their device, people who have ever been in the foster system, people who purposefully sleep with their notifications on just in case, people who are in fandoms without watching/reading/playing/etc. the source material and learn things about canon based on what is true across different fanworks, people who don't interact openly with some of their fandoms because they're embarrassed, people who share accounts/devices with other people and are always going "what the fuck?? who did this??", people who climb trees, people who daydream often, people who wish they could draw just so they could make animatics, people who are trying to heal strained relationships, people who don't like chocolate, people who need to do laundry today, disabled people, people who make your mom jokes to their siblings that have the same mother as them, and people who wear fun socks!
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revasserium · 8 months
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Hey, can I request zoro x reader (established relationship) where the Strawhats end up going to reader’s home island (unknown to anyone in the group aside from reader), and the reader is super nervous and refuses to leave the boat, so the crew goes out and walk around and they find a missing/wanted poster of the reader and find out she’s a run away princess that needed to be. Later they coke to find out that reader ran away cause her parents and the servants mistreated and was about to marry her off to a violent prince
opla requests are: open
lips on every cross
opla!zoro; 5,989 words; fem!reader, semi-established?? relationship, posessive!zoro, strawhat!reader, no "y/n", reader gets kidnapped, fluff and angst, very brief! mentions of past familial abuse and trauma, nicknames ("Princess"), slow-ish burn???, more plot than not
summary: zoro has never thought himself a holy man. but he'd kiss every cross if it meant finding his way back to you.
a/n: idk why every opla fic i write is like... more plot than i bargained for but here we are. literally, this fic was just supposed to be "zoro calls the reader 'princess'".
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01. when love arrives
(“Hey Princess —“)
The nickname starts, as almost all things do on the Going Merry, as a joke. And, as with most jokes made amongst the rag-tag crew, it sticks. He’d said it because he’s sure you’d mentioned your name once or twice already, but he’d been napping or eating and he didn’t feel like looking like an asshole right that moment.
The ribbon in your hair had caught the light in just the right way, pale pink satin — such a strange, soft color amidst the careening, careless ocean, and the word just… slipped.
“Why’dyou call her that?” Luffy asks, lounging back against the main mast as Zoro works through the umpteenth rep of single-armed pushups.
Zoro puffs out a breath and switches arms.
“Dunno. Seemed like it fit.”
Luffy slates you a long glance, blinking owlishly.
“Really? Eh — I guess… well, she is really pretty.”
Zoro only grunts, jumping up and stretching both arms over his head with a long, steady breath. His eyes flicker towards you as well, laughing with Nami on the foredeck, sipping on cocktails, Sanji probably simping somewhere nearby.
He thinks back to where they’d found you, hood pulled low over your eyes, the tell-tale signs of distress carved into every line of your body, from the curve of your spine to the bend of your shoulders.
Luffy hadn’t asked questions, so Zoro hadn’t either.
Curiosity, the fatal flaw that runs so sharp and obvious through the entirety of Luffy’s being, hasn’t always been rewarded well in Zoro’s experience. And he’s learned by now that “truth will out”, or so they say.
(“C’mon, Princess, I thought you said you could drink.”)
Caution, on the other hand, is Zoro’s oldest friend. You are cautious, if nothing else, and the first time he sees you relax in his presence, he wonders to himself if there’s a drug in this world strong enough to induce this feeling.
Later, he would learn that this is simply called falling in love.
He isn’t the only one who notices how you casually dip a silver fork or knife into every single drink before you take a sip, or that sometimes, you blurt out the word “no’ like a promise to yourself, and “sorry” like a plea for help.
And he’s spent long enough being a hunter to know what being hunted looks like. So he doesn’t ask, and you don’t answer, and somehow, you still manage to make yourself a home in the dark caverns of his chest, curling up there till he can’t count his heartbeats without it sounding like the shadow of your name on the midnight wind.
02. a study of light and dark
The drinking game starts off innocently enough (and don’t they always), but it takes half a round for the questions and subsequent answers to devolve into loud laughter and debauchery, delirium and debasement.
“Alright, alright —“ Sanji holds up a hand, tossing back his shot to raucous cheers, “worst thing you’ve done in a closet. Go —“
Zoro rolls his eyes and takes the shot, foregoing his answer. Nami simply grins, catlike, swirling her own drink around her glass.
“In your wildest dreams, cook,” she says before taking her shot as well. Sanji lets out a contemplative whistle, followed by a good-natured wink.
“Define worst, cause… I mean, I’ve puked in like… most of them back in Syrup Village,” Usopp says. Sanji only chuckles, shrugging.
“We’ll take it, we’ll take it.”
Luffy hums, frowning for a second before smacking a fist into his open palm, grinning, “I took a nap!”
Everyone laughs, helpless and buoyed up by the casual effervescence of a night like this — when the moon is dark and the stars are bright and thin wisps of silver clouds mar the sky like tendrils of lost daydreams, caught on the wrong side of sunset.
When the laughter settles down, everyone turns to you.
You purse your lips, feeling the weight of your answer pressing down on the tip of your tongue — I hid. And I waited. And I tried not to listen.
As the silence stretches on, Zoro leans forward and uncrosses his arms, reaching out to nudge a full shot glass towards you.
“Times up, Princess — drink,” and though there’s nothing soft or even forgiving in his voice, but you feel yourself relax as everyone boos and you take your shot.
The heat of Zoro’s gaze only lingers on your skin for a moment longer before he leans back again, that familiar almost-grin tugging lazily at his lips as he turns half-lidded eyes towards the rest of his crew.
(“Talk to me, Princess.”)
When you find him later, fumbling in the dark of the hallway just outside his room, you kiss him without saying “thank you” and he doesn’t question it when, pressed beneath him on the rough linen of his sheets, you ask to keep the lights on.
03. etymology
Princess — it’s a nice word, Zoro muses to himself. The light pop of the ‘p’ rolling into the warm, round ‘r’, thinning out into the sensual layering of the double ‘s’s, till you’re left with nothing but a hiss, a shadow, a memory.
It’s a regal word; a pretty word. Though its origins might be anything but.
From the Latin primus “first” and cept “catcher”, or so Robin had told him over the pages of an ancient book he hadn’t bothered to ask the name of, because Princes and Kings have always obtained their powers through taking, and never asking. Reaping, and never sowing.
Zoro thinks then that this, too, is a form conquest — you over him. The totality of your power stunning to behold, if only because he has to let you take it in the first place. And he does so willingly.
He wonders if you, too, are as multifaceted as his nickname for you — delicacy and desire wrapped around a darker something, lace laid over a knife’s unforgiving edge.
The first time he dares to kiss you, he feels you kissing him back, the sharp canines of your teeth catching on his lower lip, drawing out a soft grunt from him. You’d paused, and then you’d bitten down harder just to hear him gasp into your mouth.
He knew then, without ever having to ask, that you are.
04. tip of the iceberg
It is winter when they arrive — but then again, it is always winter here. Here, the cold runs so deep it drives frost crystals into the marrow of your bones. Here, the wind howls like a wounded animal and the night falls with a savage, carnal vengeance, all black velvet and a blood-tinted moon.
Here, the snow storms turn living, breathing heroes into song lyrics and poetry rhymes.
You inhale a single breath before turning and heading back below deck.
Zoro frowns, and at a single look from Luffy, he follows you beneath, only to find you rummaging around the kitchen, tugging a bottle of moonshine out from under the sink.
“Whoa,” Zoro says, reaching out to stop you from uncorking the bottle, an eyebrow raised. He doesn’t miss the way you shiver, “bit early, isn’t it?”
“Bit rich, coming from you,” you snap, eyes sharp, voice stinging.
Zoro only cocks his other eyebrow in tandem and pulls the bottle from your hands before turning and grabbing two glasses from the cupboard. He takes his time filling them both with ice, and then pouring a finger into each glass.
You don’t meet his eyes as you reach out for your glass, but he catches your wrist.
“A drink for an answer,” he says.
You pause, your lips pressed into a thin, white line. And he knows it’s unfair, to turn this game around on you, because he can tell from the hard set of your shoulders that this is so much more than a drinking game but if this is what it takes to get the truth — then so be it.
“Fine,” you say, glancing away, voice clipped.
You move to take a sip, but Zoro pushes down your hand again.
“No lying.”
You scoff, narrowing your eyes, “Obviously.”
He eases off, picking up his own glass and clinking it against yours before taking a light swig, “You know this place.”
This time, you’re the one who turns around with a cocked brow.
“Got a question in there somewhere?”
Zoro’s lips twitch, “Yes, or no.”
You sigh, tapping a finger against the edge of your cup, “Yes.”
Zoro hums, “Your turn.”
You chew on your lips before taking a sip, “Why do you care so much?”
Zoro ticks his tongue against his teeth, “Stupid question. Next.”
You huff, “That’s not how this game goes.”
Zoro swirls his glass before setting it down on the counter with a loud clack, “Because I care about you.”
You pause with your own drink halfway to your mouth and look up. Zoro doesn’t shy away from meeting your gaze and for a moment, time statics to a halt around you.
Then, Zoro sighs, unclenching his jaw as he attempts a lopsided smile.
“Hey, talk to me,” he reaches out to trail a finger along the high of your cheekbones, up to the shell of your ear.
The ‘please’ hangs silent in the air between you; the ‘Princess’ is implied.
And for the first time, he thinks he sees you flinch. He makes to pull back but you tug his hand forward, pressing your cheek against his palm.
“This island,” you say, finally, the tremor in your voice like a hairline fracture snaking through a porcelain vase, “it’s… well, it used to be… my home.”
05. the secret history
It is the most beautiful place any of them have ever been.
The castle is made entirely of ice, the cold winter sun refracting the light into a million and one unseen colors. Giant ice-carved sculptures dot the crystal-flower gardens, and it takes them all a few minutes to realize that the gorgeous, delicate blooms are made of glass, blown and shaped to mirror real-life snowflakes — each unique, glittering, and eternal.
“Dude… how long do you think all this took to make?” Usopp asks, his head turning as if on a swivel, his jaw hinging off his face in awe.
Robin sighs, “Too long, perhaps.”
Zoro stays quiet, and beside him, so does Nami.
You’d insisted on staying back, to guard the ship, you’d said. But the space you usually fill in the group hangs solid in the air, a gaping hole of lack when there should be none.
Luffy hums and he marches out in front of them, ever the dubious, fearless leader. Though most of the crew has now come to terms with the fact that “courage” and “sheer bull-headedness” are often two sides of the same coin for him.
It’s Sanji who pauses first, causing Chopper to ram into the back of his knees.
“Ouch! What’dyou do that f —”
“Look,” Sanji says, pointing at a poster pasted to the slick outer wall of the castle gates.
And they do, leaning in, crowding too close. Zoro grunts as Chopper jumps and scrambles up his back to peer over his shoulder at the face plastered on the dew-soaked poster, the words LOST PRINCESS: 120,000,000 FOR ANY INFORMATION THAT LEADS TO HER WHEREABOUTS printed in giant, familiar block letters along the bottom.
Beside him, Zoro can feel Nami swallowing. Hard.
“A hundred and twenty million berry…” she murmurs, her breath going shallow as they all stare, dumbfounded at the poster of what is unmistakably you.
You, with your exquisite features schooled into something like solemnity, your usually wind-swept hair twisted up into a tight braid across the crown of your head, a diadem of ice-white silver and light-cut jewels jutting up from your severe updo like so many broken teeth, sharp and unforgiving as stalagmites.
If none of them had known, it’d be impossible to reconcile you with this cold, distant portrait, your eyes rendered lifeless and dull by the depthless black ink.
Luffy, however, only blinks and turns to stare at Zoro.
“Did you know?”
“What?”
Luffy continues to stare, “When I asked why you always call her ‘Princess’.”
Zoro sighs, turning his eyes back to the WANTED poster before shaking his head.
“No. Like I said… I thought it just… fit.”
06. eternal day
Zoro is itching to get back to the ship. There’s a fish-line sliver of worry tugging at the place behind his chest where his heart should be, and he knows implicitly that something is wrong.
“Don’t worry, she can take care of herself!” Luffy says, smiling bright, his confidence unwavering.
“No Luffy, Zoro’s right — someone should be with her. What if —” and here, Nami glances at Zoro before turning her attention back to Luffy, “— she might need the backup,” is what she finally settles with. And to Zoro’s great relief, Luffy agrees.
And then, to everyone’s horror, off in the distance, your voice rises over the wind in a blood-curdling scream.
07. endless night
By the time Zoro makes it back to the ship, you are already gone.
08. torn asunder
Gone, gone, gone. The word echoes like an ill-fated alarm bell, ringing through Zoro’s entire body as he catapults himself through the ship, slamming open every door, checking every nook, corner, and crevice. Signs of a struggle, that much is clear, scuffs on the freshly waxed planks of the aft deck, nail marks along the railings, and —
Zoro’s breath freezes in his chest.
A smear of blood that drips over the side of the ship, trailing down the ladder.
A flash of pale pink catches his eye.
Your satin hair ribbon lies abandoned on the wharfs’ boardwalk, the faintest splatter of red soaking its ends.
He picks it up between gentle fingers and tucks it deep into his pocket.
His vision blurs red as he thinks about the things your captors might’ve done to you before dragging you off. He’s seen you fight and it wouldn’t have been easy to bring you down.
And by the time the rest of the crew reach him, he’s already sprinting back towards the castle, his jaw set, his teeth gritted.
It takes the combined effort of Sanji, Luffy, and Robin to stop him from charging through the castle gates and tearing the whole place down.
“Runnin’ round like a headless chicken’s not gonna do her any good, mate,” Sanji says, a smoke already caught between his teeth. A pre-fight ritual of his.
Zoro jerks his arm out of Sanji’s grasp, stalking down the street with a huff.
Robin strolls after him, somehow keeping pace, looking unhurried as Zoro tamps down the blind urge to slash the entire island in half.
“We’ll find her,” Robin says, her voice level, even as her sharp eyes scan the white-specked horizon, the usually amused half-twist of her lips laid flat by worry, “and she’s stronger than you think.”
At this, Zoro whips around, “I know —” but he bites down the venom threatening to surge up the back of his throat with a sigh. Robin doesn’t flinch, and Zoro attempts a steadying breath before repeating himself in a slightly softer tone, “I know… I’m just…”
Robin nods, and Zoro is thankful that he doesn’t have to finish his sentence.
09. the tower and the throne
The cold greets you like a scorned lover— a spiteful, savage mistress. Tendrils of frost creep along the walls of your old bedroom to caress your cheeks. You shiver and wrap your arms around yourself, sitting on familiar satin sheets.
“Dinner is soon, darling,” your mother’s cool voice calls from outside your bedroom door, “and make yourself presentable — we’ve got guests.”
The sadistic lilt of her voice as she says the word ‘guests’ makes you jerk your head up, staring at the door as if you might be able to bore through the thick wood with nothing but your eyes. And, almost as if she can feel you staring, you hear your mother’s cold, tinkling laughter.
“Hurry now… I had your favorite dress put out for you. It should still fit — and we don’t want to keep them… waiting.”
The slow, sanguine pause before her last word makes you want to rip out your hair and scream into the wind till your voice gives out.
Instead, you push yourself up and reach for the dress laid out at the foot of your bed with shaking fingers.
The dress fits you like a second skin, the delicate lace trim barely sweeping the floor as you adjust the bodice, grimacing at your reflection in the large, floor-length mirror. It is as if the last ten months had never happened, as if you’d never escaped this terrifying hellscape of a winter wonderland. As if you’d simply dreamed every single sun-filled afternoon, every star-strewn night spent laughing and singing amongst your new-found crew.
Here, in the fragile glass reflection, you are once again a girl trapped behind her own ribcage, with a destiny carved into stone and ice, with no hope of summer in sight. You take a long breath and tighten the ribbons of your dress.
You are still and silent as the maid slips in through the door after a single knock and begins to twist up your hair. Tighter and tighter, till it sets your teeth on edge. When she pins the crown in place, it takes everything inside you not to fall apart, to shatter at the weight, the sight of it sitting on your head. You swallow as the maid dips her head and backs out of the room with a murmured dinner is served, Princess.
For the first time, you wince openly at her words.
10. waiting for the rain
The hall is just how you remembered it, huge and cavernous, gaping like the empty maw of some petrified monster, the ceiling hanging with so many cold, sparkling chandeliers, ice-carved statues jutting up from the floors like teeth.
You’re marched in like a show animal, the great marble doors swinging open before you as you step forward and feel your breath freeze in your chest.
There, strung up on a massive statue of some long-forgotten saint, is Zoro, cuts and bruises marring his already scarred and puckered torso. But he smirks as he sees you come in, his eyes bright as he spits a mouthful of blood onto the seemingly endless white floors. Around him, the rest of your crew sits, tied and slumped over in chairs like so many sleeping mannequins.
“Hey there, Princess. Just in time for dinner.”
You nearly wince at the raspiness in his voice, the faint trickle of blood that leaks out the corner of his mouth.
“Silence,” your father’s voice echoes out from the high-backed chair at the head of the ludicrously long table. You don’t have to see to know his face is as smooth as just-applied plaster. But Zoro only has eyes for you — and he continues to talk as if he hadn’t been interrupted.
“If you’d told us we’d be welcomed like this, we might’ve packed differently.”
You bite down on your bottom lip so hard you almost taste the metallic tang of blood.
“Our daughter has always been a skillful liar — though it’s a habit we tried to… rid her of in her youth. The lesson never seemed to have stuck.” Your mother this time. And now, you can see the muscle ticking in Zoro’s jaw as he scoffs.
“Really? And here I always thought she was shit at lying.”
You swallow down a whimper as the maid wordlessly leads you to the far end of the table, where Zoro is still tied. You drop into the seat between a snoring Luffy and an eerily still Nami, and it’s all you can do not to turn around and retch onto the silk embroidered rug.
“Be that as it may…” your mother’s voice drops a few degrees — an admirable feat, as her voice is usually just on the other side of frigid, “it’s bad luck to kill on the eve of a royal wedding.”
At this, Zoro’s head snaps around and you shrink back in your chair, your eyes fixed on your fists, clenched in your lap.
“Mother,” you grind out, finally forcing your head up so as to meet her piercing, blizzard-bright gaze, “I’ve told you, I’ve no intention of getting married. At least not to the mongrel you’ve decided to set me up with.”
You spit out the last sentence, trying to remember all the snark, all the confidence that’d built up inside you over the past weeks and months. Away from this dreaded castle and on the sun-soaked bow of the Going Merry, it was the first time you’d begun to discover who you are — the things you liked, the ways of life that you yearned for.
Your father slams a hand on the table at the same moment that Zoro lets out a bark of laughter.
“Insolence!”
“Damn, Princess — you never told me you could bite.”
And, to your horror and perhaps deep-seated pleasure, a blush works its way into your cheeks at Zoro’s words. Your eyes snap towards him, catching his gaze as he smirks at you. And even though his shirt is slashed, his sword hilts hanging woefully empty at this hip, his hands twisted painfully behind him on the statue, he still manages an easy, condescending air.
You seize at this tiny tendril of normalcy as you force a wane smile.
“I might be persuaded to do more than that… if you ask nicely.”
Zoro’s snicker is drowned out by your mother’s sharp gasp. But you don’t look away, holding Zoro’s gaze for as long as you dare — in it, you find an entire abyss of barely concealed rage (and is that… amusement?), his entire body straining against the shackles that hold him. Then, his eyes slip from you to a point just over your shoulder.
It’s then that you realize: Luffy’s not snoring anymore.
11. to reap and to sow
You’re never quite certain of how the Merry’s crew seems to always just wriggle out of frankly gruesome and untimely deaths, but here you are, racing for the docks like your lives depended on it. Because, well, it kind of does.
“Remind me —” you shout between pants, one hand clutched firmly in Zoro’s, the other doing its best to lift the ridiculous dinner dress they’d put you in — a confection of lace and tulle, the bodice laced with pale pink satin ribbon, “how the hell did you guys manage to trick my parents into thinking you’d eaten the spiked food?”
Sanji flashes you a toothy grin, “Ah love… you know how it is — ask us no questions, and we’ll tell you no lies!”
Luffy, however, whoops as he launches himself from a pair of solid brick buildings, catapulting himself over your sprinting crew.
“We just — pretended to eat! I mean — I did kinda actually eat a bit — but — it wasn’t that bad!”
You resist the urge to pinch your nose bridge at the nonchalance with which Luffy is talking about consuming poisoned food, but you’ve only got two hands and both are equally occupied at the moment. You settle for an exasperated sigh.
“That was — really stupid! — What if — they’d — poisoned the food — with something — other than — sleeping medicine?!” you ask, forcing air into your lungs as finally, you all round the bend onto the bustling pier, the Going Merry’s unmistakable shape silhouetted against the misty horizon.
“We can talk when — we’re all back — on the ship!” Nami calls as she sprints passed you, reaching out a hand for Luffy, who’s elongated arm grabs her and slings her onto the deck of the ship. You barely have a second to breathe before Zoro’s arm loops around your waist and you’re being pulled tight into his side.
His breath is hot against your collarbone as he smirks, “Hold on tight, Princess.”
It’s all you can do to listen as you’re suddenly whipped through the air like a doll on a drunken marionette’s string. A bright peal of Luffy-tinted laughter later, you thud onto the deck of the Going Merry, the breath knocked clean from your lungs as the world spins and spins. You’d expected to hit solid wood, or maybe even the railing or the mast but —
Zoro groans beneath you, and it takes you a long second to realize that he’d cushioned your fall, your bodies pressed chest to chest, hip to hip, your arms still wrapped around his shoulders, his still steady around your waist.
“O-oh! Sorry —” you try to pull away but Zoro’s grip on you only tightens.
You freeze as he blinks up at you, eyes slightly narrowed.
“Crown’s crooked,” Zoro finally says, that tell-tale smirk twisting the edge of his lips as his gaze flickers upwards. Your hand jumps to the crown, somehow still clipped into your now disheveled hair, lopping to one side as the braids start to come loose. You purse your lips.
“I never liked it anyway…” You make to tug it out but Zoro reaches up to right it, though he lets his hand linger as he falls along the side of your face.
“Nah, looks good on you.” His voice is so low, and suddenly, air is such a language that you’re certain you’d forgotten how to speak. Slowly, he pushes up till you’re both sitting, you still pressed against him and him still pressed against you. Distantly, you can hear shouting, Usopp’s voice raised high over the wind as the Merry careens out of port and towards the open sea.
But strangely, no one makes to pull you away from him, or him from you.
“I should’ve told you guys…” you say, eyes casting down as you rest your palms against his chest. Beneath it, you can feel his heart — pounding, pounding, pounding. There’s a light sheen of sweat glimmering on his honeyed skin as you swallow, looking back up even as he chuckles.
“Sure, but we should’ve asked.”
You bite your lips, “I think you did.”
Zoro grins, shrugging as he helps you up, somehow managing to keep his arm slipped around your waist.
“Well. Should’ve asked better, then.”
12. lost stars
It takes you a while to tell them the story — the real story, the whole story. And there’s drinking involved, but it’s mostly just you clutching at your half-filled glass, Zoro’s knee pressed comfortingly against yours, even though his eyes are closed, his head leaned back, his arms crossed loosely over his chest.
You tell them about the dark underbelly of royalty that everyone knows but no one wants to talk about — the blood and teeth beneath the silk and silver. You tell them about being raised a bargaining chip, of being sold and promised like a prized heifer on auction day.
You tell them about the moonless nights when the only thing you had to keep you company was the cold, about the “lessons” your mother would teach you, about how the maids would be instructed to hide the bruises just so, about the Prince who you were set to marry and the rumors that plagued his castle —
“They say that he’d take the prettiest girls from the surrounding town as his maids and that none of them ever walked out of his castle again,” you say. The moonshine burns on its way down your throat as you finish your drink.
Wordlessly, Zoro reaches over to pluck the glass from your hand and set it on the table. It’s only then that you realize your fingers are white and trembling.
“Did he hurt you?”
Zoro’s voice is not loud, but everyone turns to look at him. You shake your head, clasping your hands in your lap.
“No. I only ever… met him once, at a dinner party. It was after that that I… ran away.”
Zoro hums, leaning back again, “Good.”
Across the room, Sanji blows out a series of smoke rings and frowns.
“Were you about to offer to hunt him down?” Robin asks, sounding amused.
Zoro shrugs, “Wouldn’t have offered — would’ve just done it.”
“He sounds like the kinda guy we should hunt down anyway, no?” Luffy asks, cocking his head as he looks back at you, “I mean, I’m glad he never hurt you but… he’s still hurting people!”
“Luffy’s got a point,” Sanji says, stubbing out his cigarette.
“For once, I agree with Sanji,” Nami says.
There’s a light squabble during which Sanji makes an aggrieved noise and Nami rolls her eyes, and then everyone is laughing and chatting and more drinks are being poured. Next to you, Zoro reaches out to wrap his arm around your waist again. It’s something he’s been doing more lately, and you can’t honestly say that you mind it much at all.
“We don’t have to,” he says, leaning forward, almost as if to brush his lips by your ear, “if… if you don’t want to.”
You shiver at the base rumble of his voice, at the way his eyes are so warm and full of some uncertain promise.
“No, I… I do want to. It’s just…”
Zoro’s fingers trace small, absent-minded circles into the skin of your waist and you fight down another shiver.
“I don’t plan on letting you get kidnapped again, Princess.”
Your gaze snaps up to meet Zoro’s, and there’s a faint smile kissing the line of his lips. And suddenly, the lightness of his touch doesn’t feel so thoughtless as heat curls out from the place where his palm meets your skin, radiating out till you’re breathless with it.
“Oh?”
“Never liked people trying to take what’s mine.”
And the dark possessiveness with which he says mine leaves little room for interpretation, even as you lick your lips and try to think of something witty to say.
“I don’t remember agreeing to be yours.”
It’s the best you can come up with; Zoro’s only response is a soft, contemplative grunt.
“What’s that saying? ‘Actions speak louder than words’?” he flashes you a satisfied grin as you narrow your eyes at him, swatting at his chest as he laughs.
“I meant it though,” he says, a moment later, as the rest of the crew all chatter around you, “about calling it off if you don’t want to. But…” he reaches up a free hand to tug a strand of your hair free from the ponytail it’s tied up in.
“Figured you might sleep better at night knowing he’s gone.”
You let out a breath you hadn’t been aware you were holding, your whole body softening as you lean into him, pressing your palms to his chest as he looks at you.
“Yeah… I think I might. And… like you said… it’s not like I’m gonna get kidnapped again.”
You smile, letting your eyes flicker down to Zoro’s lips. His smile is pleased and just a little jagged as he tugs you up by the hand and the pair of you slip from the room.
Above deck, the sun is setting, and the warm, slanted light casts the entire ship in a glaze of gold that looks almost gilded. You lean against the railings, closing your eyes and letting the warmth of the sun seep into your skin, chasing away the chill that’d been lingering at your fingertips since you’d all made your spectacular escape from your home island.
You feel rather than hear Zoro join you. You take your time breathing in the salty tang of the humid sea air before opening your eyes and slating him a side-long look.
“Thank you,” you say.
“For what?”
“For coming after me.”
Zoro scoffs, turning away from the roiling waves to lean back against the railings, his head cocked as he looks you over.
“Like I said… I don’t like it when people try to take what’s mine.”
But this time, you laugh, nodding, “So you’ve said. But still… thanks.”
“Hn.”
Zoro closes his eyes, seemingly enjoying the last vestiges of the setting sun as it sinks ever-lower along the horizon. Then, he opens one eye to peer at you.
“Though I’ve been meaning to ask —”
“Hm?”
“What’s this about doing more than biting… if asked about it nicely enough?”
You try to duck your head but Zoro catches your chin in his fingers.
“I — I just… knew it would piss off my mother if she —”
“Mm, sounded like more than that to me.”
Your breath hitches as Zoro’s thumb traces a rough line along your bottom lip.
“How about… I show you?” and the offer is barely out of your mouth before Zoro is kissing you, his mouth seeking out yours with a soft groan that betrays all the lightness in his touch as he trails his free hand down your arm to pull hard at your waist.
And it’s not the first time you’ve kissed. It’s not even the first time a kiss with Zoro has become more than just a kiss, though you’d always been careful before to make sure that he knew (though thinking back, it might’ve just been an ill-fated attempt at lying to yourself) that the pleasure shared between bodies was just that — pleasure and bodies.
But this — this kiss becomes, and becomes.
It becomes breath and heartbeats, pleasure and heat. It becomes truth and promises and the tantalizing taste of fairy-tale endings.
“Z-Zoro…”
“Yes Princess?”
You hiss as his teeth grazes along your pulse point and your fingers fist in his hair.
“Y’know…” your voice comes out as nothing more than a soft pant as Zoro tugs you over to one of the reclining chairs beneath the orange trees and pulls you over his hips, “I’ve never liked being called that but…”
“But?” his thumbs inch beneath the material of your shirt, circling your hipbones as he smirks up at you.
“I don’t mind it when it’s you.”
Zoro’s grin goes wide and wolfish. Above him, the first stars spark into being as the sun finally sinks beyond the far horizon. For a second, his smile softens as he reaches up to toy with the end of the pale pink ribbon in your hair. Then, he gives it a single, solid tug, and your hair falls open around your shoulders, tumbling down in waves.
Zoro leans up to press a light kiss to the blood-stained satin before letting it flutter off in the wind, twisting into the rapidly darkening night.
“Good… cause I ain’t about to let anyone else call you that either.”
2K notes · View notes
xxkissesforchanniexx · 5 months
Note
Best friend Chan who is in love with reader but has a girlfriend?
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𝐒𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?
Pairing: bestfriend!Chan x reader college au Genre: Angst (i cant write that for shit.), fluff, smut Word Count: 4.5k (lord help me) Warnings: Chan's gf is controlling, gf is a pick me, mentions of cheating (not by chan), mentions of college (younger half of members + chan gf + reader), fade to black sexual moment kinda >.>, nosey ass friends >.>, mentions of ateez members, not proofread, fighting >.> DO NOT DO IT, lowkey (highkey) cringe... UHH Idk what else...
A/N: I have exams soon so >.> i won't be taking requests until like May 😭 uhh I might get out the requests I have but until May I won't be accepting any very sorry >.>
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You pursed your lips as your best friend's girlfriend, Chaewol, rubbed herself all over your friend, Chan's, arm.
"Chrissy." She said sweetly. "Can we go now?"
Your other friend, Seungmin stared at her, not even trying to hide the look of disgust on his face.
Minho just blinked slowly.
"Babe, we just got here." Chan sighed.
"I know but the waitress keeps giving me dirty looks." She pouted.
Hyunjin, a man who'd grown to be as close as a brother to you, made a face and leaned in close to you whispering, "Maybe if she hadn't been all over Chan as if the waitress wanted to steal him she wouldn't get dirty looks."
You gave your friend a knowing face.
"It's fine Chan." Seungmin smiled, stirring his drink with his straw, "Just go."
Chan looked at you with an apologetic look.
You shrugged. "We'll just try again some other time."
He smiled. "Alright. See you guys." He stood with Chaewol, who gave you the nastiest look as Chan led her out.
"The waitress wasn't even looking." Seungmin pinched the bridge of his nose.
"She's obviously jealous." Hyunjin huffed. "I would be too if my boyfrie-"
Seungmin elbowed him.
You looked between the two confused. "What?"
"Nothing." They both said.
Minho grabbed. a bunch of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table and tried forcing Hyunjin to eat them.
You burst into a fit of laughter as a waiter came over with water to help the spluttering Hyunjin.
Your phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram, you opened it and sucked in a breath at the post. It was of Chan and Chaewol at a bubble tea shop, she was kissing his cheek.
Hyunjin looked at your phone and sighed. "It's fine."
You nodded, "Yeah. Say any of you up for barbecue?"
Seungmin smiled, "Let's go."
It was late now, well past midnight, Chaewol was asleep, and Chan lie awake. He sucked in a breath, rolling onto his side and grabbing his phone, he opened Instagram and squeezed his phone. The picture Chaewol had taken earlier had blown up, "he's so sweet" and "you're so lucky" flooded the comments. He kept scrolling and stopped at a post where you were in a shopping cart and Changbin was pushing you, while Jisung was in a separate cart and Hyunjin struggled to push him. He laughed lightly and paused at a post from 30 minutes ago, that would've been 1am, you were at a table with the other guys. Jeongin was out cold on the table and the rest of them looked drunk stupid except for Minho, probably the driver..
Chan felt his heart clench. When was the last time he'd gone out like that with the rest of you.
He tapped your profile and scrolled through your recent posts, baking with Felix, cooking with Minho, gym day with Han and Changbin, movie night with a friend, a guy, he didn't know..
He stared at the image for a moment before swiping to the next, same guy, laying on his back between your legs, head rested on you stomach, your fingers in his hair, all that was visible, his nose and eyes.
Chan whispered softly, "Who the fuck is that."
Chaewol rolled over, murmuring, "What is it?"
"Nothing." Chan said, "Go back to sleep."
Chan looked through the comments,
Hongjoongisworld 1w Wow, so that's where my snacks went.
HWWAAA 1w Lucky.
former stronk man 1w ;-; why wasn't I invited.
and you tagged Sannie..?
Chan tapped the tag and exhaled slowly at all the pictures of a muscular man with a square jaw and pretty face. So this was Sannie. This was the man doing things he should be, Choi San, who goes to an entirely different school from you.
Chan jumped as suddenly his phone was gone. "Chae-"
"He's hot.." She scrolled through San's profile and hummed. Then her face fell.
Chan leaned over looking at his phone, there you were, phone covering half your face as you took the picture, San behind you, his arm wrapped a little too tight around your waist. Chan took his phone from Chaewol and put it down.
"Go to sleep." He huffed, rolling to face away from her.
Chaewol stared at Chan in the darkness for a long moment before pursing her lips. He's not mad that I called that other guy hot. He's made that Y/N is close to him... And she rolled to face away from Chan, biting her pink nails. What could she do to you?
You were drunk, buzzed, completely inebriated. To the extent Minho had to call someone to pry you off the pole outside of the bar. He'd used your phone and called someone you had labeled as Mr Sannie
Mr Sannie turned out to be someone named Choi San, he was a close friend of yours apparently, and you hugged him poking his face and neck as he half carried, half dragged you to his car.
Minho stared at San for a long time. What is Chan even going to say..
In light of your recent Instagram posts and a long call with Minho, Chan decided to leave Chaewol at home and go hang out with you for the first time in a long while. It was fun, running around being stupid with you. You and Chan were eating ice cream in the park when he asked suddenly.
"Who's San?"
You blinked a bit surprised. "He's a friend of mine."
Chan looked at you before looking back at his ice cream. "Just a friend?"
"Of course." You laughed, it trailed off as you realized he was serious. "Chan, San is just my friend."
Chan looked at you and smiled, "Good."
You didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Good why?
Your phone buzzed and you looked at it, there was a message from Yongbok to the group chat your friend group had.
lixie 3:47pm We're having a party off campus, you senior citizens tryna join in?
He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm I will if Chan will.
OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Why are we senior citizens...
Chubby Cheeks 3:48pm Because you've already graduated.
Hangry 3:48pm But we're not senior.
OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Minho and Chan are.
He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm You haven't eaten tissues in a while have you Hyunjinnie.
Me 3:49pm You're cooked. 💀
Loaf 3:49pm I'll go. Hyunjin hide.
Channie 3:49pm LOLLL
STAAA 3:49pm OMG GRANDPA LEARNED LINGO
lixie 3:50pm 😧 never thought i'd live to see it.
You giggled and looked at Chan who rolled his eyes.
Your phone buzzed again and Chan peeked over your shoulder, tensing at the sight of Sanniepoo..
Mr Sannie 3:50pm There's a party. Go with me?
Chan looked at you, you hadn't clicked the notification, hesitating.
"Are you going to go?" You asked him.
He bit his lip, "I have to ask Chaewol."
You looked down at your phone and tapped Mr Sannie's chat, typing something. "It's fine." You looked at your phone again and stood, "I have to go meet up with a friend."
Chan opened his mouth to say something, that friend was San, this guy he didn't know, who his own girlfriend thought was hot. You were going to meet up with this guy...
"Bye, Channie." You said before he could get any words out.
And you were gone.
You were sitting in class biting your pen and trying to study in art history before the teacher arrived, when you heard the steps then the whispers. You didn't bother looking up until a pink purse was thrown on your textbook.
You knew that purse, you'd helped Chan pick out that purse for...
"You really think you're funny." Chaewol said. Her group of girls dressed as if this were still high school looked at you with disgusted looks.
You looked up at her. "Am I laughing?"
The chatter in the class died.
"Leave my boyfriend alone." She said.
You raised a brow. "You think I'm messing with Chan?"
"Chris. Doesn't want you."
You stood, "What makes you think I want Chan?"
"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"
The class gasped.
"I've done a lot of stupid shit, but trying to get a guy's attention is not on that list yet." You said glaring at her.
"You're such a liar!" One of her friends said. "We've seen the pics of you with the guys from KQ Uni."
Chaewol got in your face. "Listen here, Y/N, if you don't leave Chan alone, it's going to be and you."
You sucked in a breath, "Back up."
"If I don't?" She asked.
"How old are you, Chaewol?" You asked irritated.
Chaewol smirked and turned, letting her hair extensions hit you as she grabbed her purse.
You pursed your lips.
You hadn't expected to be greeted by San's car outside of school as you left.
He gave you the corniest smirk as you got in, "I have a surprise for you."
You tilted your head, "What is it?"
He held a out a small box covered in blue velvet and you took it, opening the box you smiled at the sight of a plain black ring band. engraved in silver on the inside was "Dumass #1"
You burst out laughing and put the ring on as San held up his right hand, showing his matching band. You two took several pictures before San started driving.
"Hungry?" he asked.
"You know me so well," you smiled.
You took several more stupid pictures and a few pictures of your food, you were going to post the images but then you remembered what Chaewol had said.
"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"
You shook your head and pressed post.
"We should go meet the guys, they're out and about today." San hummed.
You nodded, "Okay."
You were laying in bed scrolling when Chan called you, you stared at your phone for a moment before answering. "Helloooo?"
"Uh.."
You heard the shakiness in his voice as he spoke.
"Can you come over? I- Chaewol and I aren't talking." He said sniffing.
"Chan what happened?" You sat up in bed, it wasn't the first time something like this happened...
You were at his house in 20 minutes, staring at your friend as he sniffled and allowed you before hugging you. You patted his back and made him sit as he cried about Chaewol cheating on him... again.
"Am I doing something wrong?" He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.
"Of course not Channie." You smoothed his hair and smiled at him gently. "She's the problem."
He muttered something about not being good at anything and lied down on the couch, resting his head on your lap.
You spent most of the night comforting Chan and relaxed when you got him to go to sleep. You stared at your friend's sleeping face, so content and calm as if in his dreams he'd forget about everything. You smiled slightly and leaned back against the couch falling asleep yourself, sure this would be the last time, positive...
When you woke up Chan wasn't laying on your lap and you assumed he'd gotten up to go do something but as you were about to stand you heard the voices by the door...
"Chris, you know it didn't mean anything. I love you babe." Chaewol sobbed.
"Please don't..." You heard Chan sigh.
"Chan!" She sobbed louder, and you heard her fall to the floor, "Babe it won't happen again! I swear! I love you, please!"
He wouldn't... right?
"Chaewol stand up."
"Not until you forgive me." She sniffed.
You exhaled slowly as Chan told her, "Come back later."
"Chrissy please-"
"I'm serious."
"Fine."
You heard the door close then Chan was back in the living room staring at you.
"Y/N-"
"It's fine. Just enjoy yourself." You pursed your lips and rolled your eyes, before leaving him standing there.
Chan's mouth was half open he was going to say something, he willed the words out. But a small, "Thanks for coming over." Left his lips instead and was met with the door slamming.
Chan kissed Chaewol and muttered, "You did so good for me."
Chaewol lay there on the bed trying to catch her breath, after cleaning up, Chan got into bed and Chaewol was already out cold. He rubbed her head gently, then he got a text from Changbin.
Baby Changbin 7:59pm Did you see what Y/N posted?
Chan opened instagram, there was a bunch of posts with you and a bunch of guys he didn't know, there was more with that Choi San... and he scrolled to this afternoon, food, you two being stupid, then.. a picture of your hand and someone else's, someone Chan could assume was San, wearing matching rings.
Chan bit his lip and looked at his jewelry drawer. He'd stopped wearing the necklace that matched yours because Chaewol thought it was "intrusive" and "a physical show of emotional cheating".
That left one thing...
"Baby." Chan shook Chaewol gently.
"Huh?" She groaned.
"There's a party tomorrow," He muttered.
"I know." She opened her eyes a little.
"Can we go?"
"Yeah whatever, let me sleep..."
Chan lie back and stared at the pictures of you and San.
He opened his chat with Changbin.
Me 8:02pm He goes to KQ Uni?
Baby Changbin 8:02pm They all do
Me 8:03pm We're going to that party.
The day of the party Chan pulled up in front of the old college he once attended, where you and Chaewol currently went. He had come on Chaewol's request, so he could take her to buy a new outfit for the party.
He saw you and Jisung and was about to get out of his car to go talk to you but another car pulled up. Chan froze as he got out of the driver's seat and hugged you then began counting on his fingers while making an exaggerated face. Jisung cackled. You rolled your eyes and pushed San's head, he faked a hurt expression and opened the front passenger side door for you.
Chan squeezed the wheel and this time got out of the his car, he would've approached but the sound of a squeal made him look away from you, Chaewol and her friends came over and she threw herself on him.
She looked in your direction, then made a face, "That's the guy from KQ Uni isn't it?"
Chan didn't answer, eyes glued on the way you and San went back and forth before you finally got into the car and Jisung got in the back seat.
Chaewol shook him slightly. "Chris?"
Chan's eyes met San's as he closed the door. All the man did was smile before getting into his car and driving away taking you with him.
Chaewol squeezed Chan's arm. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all." Chan lied, "Let's go, hm? Gotta make you look even more beautiful."
Chan pulled up to the party with Chaewol and her friends. He got out and opened the door for Chaewol, who quickly scampered to join her other friends. Chan shook his head and started looking around for his friends, then he saw Minho, there was a group of guys with him, Chan could only recognize San.
He approached and San smiled at him, Minho patted Chan on the shoulder and introduced him to the rest of the men. "This is my good friend Chan. Channie, this is San, Seonghwa and Yunho."
Chan nodded and smiled, "Have you seen Y/n?"
"Oh, she ran off with Seungmin somewhere." Minho said. "Probably to get drinks."
"Oh, okay."
San raised a brow at Chan, "You know Y/N?"
"She's my friend from high school." Chan said.
Seonghwa looked between the two sensing the tension and laughed nervously, "I'm going to go.. get us some drinks? Yunho come with me." Seonghwa grabbed Yunho and dragged him away.
MInho stared at the two in shock, "Hey, hey, hey. It's a party, don't look so aggressive.."
San nodded, "Of course."
A moment later, you and Seungmin came bouncing back giggling like little children. Seungmin grabbed Minho, "Hyunjin wants to dance with you." And he dragged him away.
Chan smiled at you. You gave him a hug and poked his nose, "Didn't think you'd make it."
"I'm here." Chan shrugged.
San's mouth fell open dramatically and he made a face at you. "Am I invisible???"
You gave him a side eye. "I saw you earlier."
San clutched his chest, "So cruel..." he faked tears then the two of you started laughing.
Chan felt a tug on his arm, he looked at Chaewol.
"Oh," She looked at you and San.
San looked past you at Chaewol and you turned, pursing your lips ina. tight smile.
"Hi," Chaewol smiled at you and then looked at San, "I'm Chaewol."
"San," He nodded before looking right at Chan as if asking with his eyes So you have a girlfriend... San smiled at you and grabbed you, "Y/N we should dance."
Chan was about to say something but Chaewol pulled him away, "Babe we should go get some drinks."
Chan wanted to pull away he wanted to say no but then.
"Christopher."
He looked at Chaewol and smiled, "Ok."
As the party neared its end, Chan didn't know where Chaewol was, but he was too drunk to wonder. Minho had found him half passed out on the couch and helped him up. Minho helped Chan walk and eventually found you, talking to San's friend Seonghwa.
"He's too buzzed yo drive and Chaewol is no where to be seen." Minho said before carefully passing Chan's weight to you.
You stumbled slightly and somehow managed to support him. Seonghwa helped you before you fell over, you carried Chan to Seonghwa's car and tossed him in the back seat.
Seonghwa drove you to Chan's house and parked before asking, "Are you okay to carry him in alone?"
"Of course, I've got him." You laughed, and woke up a half asleep Chan in the backseat before helping him walk to his front door and convincing him after a bit of bickering to open the door. he trudged into the house and flopped face first onto the couch.
You laughed and he looked at you.
"Are you going?" he asked quietly.
You stopped laughing and nodded.
"Why...?"
"Because I have to go home, Chaewol wouldn't like seeing me here." You said.
Chan sat up and looked at you, "Please don't go."
You stared at him, "Chan-"
Before you could protest he hugged your waist and buried his face in your belly. "Please.
You stood between staring down into his eyes as he looked up at you. "I can't... Chaewol might get angry."
Chan's grip on your relaxed for a brief second. Then it tightened again and he whispered, "I don't care... Please... Stay. I need you to stay."
"You're drunk." You shook your head and started pry yourself away from Chan but he held you tighter.
"Would you be mad at me if I told you I liked you?" He muttered.
"No." You said quietly. "I'd ask you why."
"And if I said I love you?"
You stared at Chan. "You're not thinking straight." You started to pull away but he squeezed you for a moment.
"I don't need to think." He stood up and smiled gently at you, "It feels better if I'm with you." He hugged you completely against him and rested his head on your shoulder.
"Chan I-"
"Don't push me away right now... I might cry if you do." He breathed.
You held him as his body relaxed against yours. And the door opened.
You weren't sure what happened between the door opening and where you were now. What you did know was that you were going to beat the crap out of the person pulling your hair.
Chaewol pulled your hair and screamed at you as her friend tried pulling her back. It was a mess of punches and scratches and hair-pulling. "Boyfriend stealing, home-wrecking BITCH!" Chaewol screamed as she pulled your hair.
"You're the one who can't keep your legs closed!" You shouted, swinging at her.
"Don't come back here! Keep your hands off Chris!" She shouted as Chan pulled you off her and she kicked at you still gripping your hair.
You grasped on her hair as well and pulled out her hair extensions. "You fucked your relationship over yourself! You cheater! You ugly, ungrateful- OOOH!" You threw her extensions in her face as Chan picked you up around the waist and carried you out the door.
"Christopher! Get back here! Bring her back right now!" Chaewol shouted as her friend tried calming her down.
You were trying to get away from Chan as he dumped you on the ground and held you so you wouldn't run back to keep fighting.
"Chan are you even living?!" You shouted. "Howw do you let her treat you like that! It's your house, your money, your LIFE!" You pulled away from him and started walking away.
He grabbed your hand and pulled you back hugging you tightly. "Please." he muttered. "I love you."
You stared blankly for a moment. "Huh?"
"I need you." He pulled back and looked at you.
"You're probably just in shock and drunk."
He shook his head slowly, "I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting and screaming and everything.." He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. "Please."
And you didn't stop him as he kissed you.
Chaewol was faking tears the following monday in class and everyone was running to her to console her. Except you.
"Chaewol don't cry." Someone said rubbing her shoulder. "What happened?"
"I went home after the p-party. And Ch-Chan and Y/N were all over each other," She sobbed.
The whole class shot you dirty looks, you kept about your business staring at your text book.
"A-And then..." She snuffed. "We had a fight and Chan carried her out." She sobbed dramatically.
You made no move of any kind when some girls came up to you asking if it was true.
"IT GETS WORSE!" Chaewol shrieked. "THAT HOMEWRECKER KISSED HIM OUTSIDE TOO!"
You closed your textbook and got up from your seat, going to leave. As you stepped out of the building Chaewol's friends flocked behind you.
What you hadn't anticipated to see outside was Chan, he leaned against his car looking at his phone. Looking up at the sight of you and the other girls.
"Where's Chaewol?" he asked.
"She's inside crying over your sorry ass." One of her friends spat.
Chan opened his car and pulled out three pink suitcases and set it on the side walk. "Tell her to come get her stuff. If I missed anything she can come get it herself."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Chaewol's voice came from the front entrance and you turned to see her running out and down the steps where she grabbed Chan. "Chris! Chrissy! Baby! Honey!"
Chan pulled his hand away from hers.
"WHY?!" She screamed, other students were looking through class windows or from where they were walking.
"I'm tired. I'm so tired." Chan said simply and grabbed your hand.
You gasped as he put you in the car. "Chan-" You started as Chaewol tried to open your door.
"Let them try." He said locking the doors and looking at you. "I want to talk to you."
When you were a sophmore in high school and Chan was a senior, you became fast friends. Not that Chan wanted to be your friend, really, he had been hoping to get your number and possible convince you to date him. But he'd failed miserably as Minho told him countless times before.
You'd have been lying if you had said you weren't into him, he was sweet and funny and gorgeous. But when he went to JYPU, he met a girl from another school, she was sweet at first, but when they started dating things didn't work out well. At least for Chan. The first time he'd called you crying saying that he and Chaewol had fought you thought it was normal. But the more it happened, the less normal it seemed to you...
And then he didn't speak to you for months on end... because Chaewol said he couldn't.... Becuase Chaewol didn't trust you.
And when she'd cheated and you suggested breaking up, it wasn't even a day before he'd forgiven her. And you couldn't help but wonder why. Why you were in this car staring at your hands? Why you let him drag you out? Why you let him kiss you?
Chan whispered quietly. "I talked to San."
You looked at him.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not you fau-"
"It is." He rested his head on the steering wheel. "I let Chaewol take over my life, and every time she lied and betrayed and and promised it wouldn't happen again it did... and I let it happen." he sat up and turned to you. "I'm sorry."
You sucked in my breath. "You shouldn't apologize. You couldn't have known better.."
"But I did know better." He looked at you. "I've known better- No, I knew you were better. I just.. I was scared you didn't want me back. Let me tell you when I'm sober. While you'll listen.."
"Channie." You stared at him.
He leaned in. "Can I.." he said quietly.
You nodded slowly and Chan leaned into you, his soft breath against your lips before he kissed you gently. He pulled away and whispered. "I love you."
You looked into his eyes. "I love you too..."
Your phone buzzed in your bag for god knows what time. Chan's lips were on your neck, you whined as he sucked a dark mark to the skin.
You moaned as he rutted against you. Rubbing his tented crotch against your clothed pussy. He pressed his thumb to your lip, "Suck." He muttered.
You opened your mouth and sucked on his thumb obediently. He groaned and pulled your shirt over your head. Chan kissed down your chest and removed your bra before moving lower and pulling off your pants. He kissed your thighs and smiled at the wet spot on your pantie. "This for me?"
He pulled your pantie off and licked a big strip of your pussy and moaned into you. You grabbed his hair.
"This is mine. You hear?" He looked up at you, coffee colored eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "This pussy is mine."
You whimpered and nodded.
"Good girl." He whispered before shoving his tongue into you.
You squealed.
"And the rest was..." You smiled to yourself blushing deeply.
"So then what?" Seonghwa asked as he sipped his coffee.
"You horny little-." San slapped him.
You rolled your eyes and smiled as your phone buzzed with a message from Chan.
Channie🥰 2:14pm I wanna take you out, text me when you get home.
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@juskz
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wonysugar · 2 months
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wonder why i’m bitter | julie han
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♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ ゚. casual — chappell roan
synopsis : friends don’t act like this, you would know that better than anyone else.
pairing : non-idol!julie x fem!reader
genre : smut, angst, smutty angst, if you will! heavy on the angst though sorry.
tags : they were roommates,,, making out, marking, implied possessiveness, implied jealousy, anal rimming (heyyy), strap-on sex, vaginal penetration, cunnilingus, julie is bent ova, and YESS WHO SAID BACKSHOTS, arguing, topsub!femreader, bottomdom!julie, frequent mentions of sexuality, praise kink, cheating?? could you call this cheating,, one singular l-bomb,,, yikesss
warnings : none..? i guess apart from the obvious content warnings here (angst and smut) there’s some underlying internal homophobia themes?? but i don’t think it’s that bad tbh IDK BE WARNED JUST IN CASE
word count : 3,1k
a/n : haiii!! i’m finally posting this draft OUHH it went through so many changes, like for example THE TITLEE?? i was gonna make the title be a lyric to ‘goodluck, babe!’ by chappell roan since i originally based the fic on that but i ended up listening to casual instead and went woaahh,, this fits so much more what the hell?!? but yeahh i think i’m happy with how it turned out! :’) i hope you guys can say the sameedckem
ALSO! first time writing anything involving anal,, while yes i do talk about it often (ahem we all know,,) i was incredibly nervous in the process and this definitely made me step out of my comfort zone, hope it isn’t too apparent in this ;; but yeah, to stop rambling, thank you for reading!! i hope you like itt! :]]
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“so…” julie’s friend makes a motion between the two of you with a raised eyebrow, wearing a curious smile. “what exactly are you two?” they ask. you thought about it for a few moments, theoretically, you two are roommates, friends at most. but, if anything, you’re more like a couple behind closed doors. 
you shrug, thinking nothing of it, “i guess we’re kind of like—“
“we’re just friends.” she places, wearing a polite smile at the familiar in front of her before you could even think about the rest of your sentence. when you turn to look at her, she’s avoiding your gaze, already familiar with the type of expression you’re wearing. 
it’s the face you always make when she pushes you away like this.
turning back to her friend, you nod slightly, “yeah. we’re friends.” trying your hardest not to let your dejection show through your smile. 
maybe it’s all just in your imagination, perhaps you guys were never even close to being a ‘thing’ and you were the one who thought too much into it. but alas; no matter from which angle you looked at it, the way she displayed any ounce of affection towards you would always make you overthink what you two were exactly. anything she’d do in the comfort of your own apartment with you was never close to anything she’d do in public, in front of the eyes of everyone walking by. she always acts like she barely knows you whenever she is surrounded by people, whether she knows them or not.
you think about it often.
you think about her often.
you asked yourself, do you even like her like that? well, she’s pretty chill, smart, witty and funny. she’s also beautiful, and one hell of a tease, that much is obvious, you’ve had sex with her numerous times in the past, so sexual attraction is out of the question; you already knew the answer to that. the better question probably was; does she even like you like that?
“you done with them?” says julie, referring to the pile of kitchenware you guys left from last night on the counter as she hugs you from behind and rests her head on your shoulder, her arms wrapping all around your waist and watching you. you, on the other hand, were taken by surprise by the sudden display of affection, so much so that you lost your original train of thought. as much as you knew that she liked physical touch, it always did surprise you whenever you randomly felt her skin come in contact with yours throughout the day. getting quickly accustomed to the feeling of her lips kissing your shoulder, you hummed in response, washing and scrubbing the plate with the soaped-up sponge you were holding.
“almost.” 
she whines in an exaggerated manner, “hurry uppp..” lightly tapping on your stomach and resting her head on your shoulder, before adding, “i miss you.”
you giggle, putting away the plate you were now done washing, quickly grabbing another dirty one, “i’m right here, though?”
“no like,” she left another kiss on your shoulder, “i miss you.” 
you smirked, getting progressively more and more amused by the girl’s foreign, yet familiar behavior towards you, feeling her embrace you even tighter.
“oh yeah? well in that case, i miss you too, julie.”
you knew exactly what the girl in question meant by ‘i miss you’ and you would’ve teased her further if it weren’t for how impatient she was getting, despite how cute it was. her heavily annoyed sighs giving it away, despite those also being sprinkled with a tiny bit of humor. 
“come onn, don’t play dumb with me, smartass.”
so, you pushed the oblivious act aside and obliged, setting the plate down before facing her.
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your lips danced in sync with hers as you carried her to your bed. once you got there, you gently sat her down on the edge of the mattress, lips still intertwined whilst her hands glided along the curves of your body, tracing circles with the tip of her index finger on your soft skin. 
you didn’t waste any time in laying her down moments later,, your mouth now eagerly roaming her neck and collarbone and leaving kisses down along her body, successfully marking it up. listening to her quiet hums, you proceeded to slide down her sweatpants, your hands tugging on the waistband.
now left in only her panties, you allowed your fingers to glide over the damp spot in between her legs, teasing the clothed entrance and taking in all of her reactions all at once. 
looking at you through the light brown hair that fell perfectly on her face with hooded eyes and slightly upturned eyebrows, she whispered in a low, husky and raspy tone, “see, baby? see how wet i am for you?”
now, julie had this certain ability to turn even the most confident person alive on this earth into a nervous wreck.
you were, obviously, no exception from her spells. if anything, you, y/n, were a prime example.
you slowly nodded at her words, entranced, feeling yourself fall more and more at her mercy with each second that passed. that earned a smirk from her, putting her hand atop yours, before continuing, “you’re gonna be good and do something about it, right?” 
you nodded once again, this time more eager. 
“words, darling.” she whispered.
“yes,” you muttered in response, a mix of nervousness and eagerness taking over all five of your senses, “o-of course i will.”
she hummed, perfectly content with your adorable answer, before pulling you back into a hungry kiss for another long, pleasant while. that is, until she added something else between kisses, something that made you shudder.
“get the strap.” 
immediately reaching for the drawer next to your bed upon hearing those words, lips still connected to hers, you obeyed and pulled the cabinet open, quickly pulling out the phallic silicone object residing in it as well as the harness, too impatient to feel even embarrassed about the sudden action. 
it didn’t take long before the harness was tight around your hips, the brunette bent over in front of you at the edge of the bed with her panties pulled down to her thighs. you ravished in the sight; her perfect pink pussy sitting before you, slick and wet with desire, begging for you to finally please it properly, practically throbbing in anticipation. who were you to deny her of such pleasure? 
you traced your index finger along her slit, your digit comfortably nestled in between her slippery folds as it slowly teased the entrance. 
rewarded by the sweet sounds coming out of her, you wasted no more time and slowly leaned into her core, giving a long swipe of the tongue to her pussy.
“ohh shitt..” overhearing her moans, you smiled against her as you were now making out with her swollen cunt, intending to taste every drop of her slick, not wasting a single one. your lips circled around her bundle of nerves, giving it small and gentle sucks whilst one of your hands massaged her ass.
subconsciously, julie’s back arched with each movement that your tongue made inside her, her head hung low on the bed as she whimpered filthy praises, her sounds just slightly muffled from the white bedsheet she had over her mouth. 
you heard them, though. 
thank god you heard them.
after a long while of giving more than endless attention to her pussy, you felt your mouth move upwards by itself, driven by the pure desire to make her feel even better than she already was. 
your tongue quickly made its way to her ass, roaming and dancing around her rim, which immediately earned a sharp gasp from her part. you’ve never made it a habit to eat julie’s ass, but whenever you did? it was always enough to cloud your brain with pure, raw want, and it always seemed to catch her pleasantly off-guard, since you’d always do it without any warning. 
you attempted to relax her again by tracing slow circles around her hole with your muscle, before inserting it fully, which you could only assume worked, since you could hear her whines get longer and louder. “fuckk yes baby..” she shamelessly moaned, this time more audibly due to her raising her head up and looking back at you as best as she possibly could, “that’s it, such a sweet girl for me— ah..“ 
using one of your hands, you made sure to thoroughly stimulate her clit, rubbing circles around it and even going as far as to inserting two fingers inside her dripping cunt with your other hand in the process, all whilst the muscle in your mouth flicked way within her, drilling and wriggling as you hummed against her. 
after what felt like hours of you messily rimming her, hours of her pushing herself further onto your mouth, practically fucking herself on you, you figured it was finally time to give her what’d she been wanting ever since she came up behind you in the kitchen.
pulling your fingers out and standing back up, you lined up your strap-on to her aching core, pressing the head against it before slowly inserting its entire length inside of her. 
she let out a groan at the feeling of being penetrated, which progressively turned into longer and more suggestive sounds. it all sounded like music to your ears, it only made you want to please her more.
you reached for her hand, grabbing it upon contact. she squeezed yours with just as much force in return, pleasure visibly taking over her senses. it didn’t take long for you to be full on thrusting into her, either, feeling her walls clench around your fake cock as she babbled praises. 
it was a small gesture, sure, but it made you feel things you weren’t quite certain on how to label.
“such a good girl for me—“ was what she let out, a loud moan escaping her agape mouth whilst you continued pounding her, faster with each second that passed. “f-fuck y/n i love you—“
you saw her lose herself under you, you watched in… admiration? infatuation? whatever it was, you thought she looked mesmerizing, especially with how her brown long hair fell all over the place, how perfect she sounded, how perfect she looked.
how perfect she was.
the words “i love you” resonated in your head. 
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“who’s eric?” you ask her, having thrown glances at her phone that was charging on the kitchen counter whilst washing a plate, the singular one you had left untouched due to being… distracted. 
you finished washing it, then turned around, now met with a surprised julie, clothed in a pair of booty shorts and a white tank top, she was fresh out of the shower, towel drying her hair. that is, until she unexpectedly heard you speak that name, her eyes immediately darting between you and the phone, greeted by that man’s contact name and picture on the latter, an incoming phone call from his part. 
“a guy?” she says back, in her usual sarcastic yet gentle and quiet tone, “thought that was obvious enough—“
jealousy and inexplicable possessiveness flooded your senses; you knew most of her friends, but, you had no idea who this ‘eric’ dude was, and that especially ate at you. why was he calling her, on a random weekday at like, 4 pm? you had checked the clock hanging on the wall to confirm the time.
“well yeah but, i don’t think i know an eric.” you stated, wary of what the girl before you was gonna say, “who is he?”
“…i just told you, some dude. i met him on campus and we just exchanged contacts after he complimented me, a while ago.” she replied, slight annoyance cracking through the facade of the joking expression she wore. she ran her dominant hand through her messy and wet hair, causing it to fall back perfectly on the side of her face and her exposed shoulders. 
she added, “sure, he makes it very clear he wants to hook up with me, but that’s all it’ll ever be i think, he’s not the type of guy you’d wanna date seriously. why do you ask—“ 
“no reason.” you cut her off, cold and dry.
she furrowed her eyebrows, the previous annoyance being more and more apparent, this time only paired with confusion. “…what?” 
“so this is completely normal for you? like, you guys hook up and call each other sometimes and you’re just casually telling me about it? what, does he take you out on dates too?” 
“what are you, my girlfriend or something?” she scoffed, bitter and defensive, gently throwing the towel on the couch in close proximity to her, “and what if he does, why’s it such a big deal to you?” 
why is it such a big deal to me?
why is it such a big deal to me?
and before you know it, you’re quickly matching her tone. “i simply don’t understand how you could tell me something so casually, especially right after we—“
“listen, let’s get this straight.” she says to you, “i know that just because you and i fuck sometimes you’re convinced that it’s gotta mean something, that we’re something, but we aren’t. it doesn’t fucking mean shit to either of us and you know that very well. it’s all in good fun; i don’t belong to you, y/n, and i never will.” 
“it’s not about that?” you walked closer to her as you justified, trying to get your point across, “i’m not saying that you belong to me julie i’m just trying to say that—“
her stare pierces right through you as she cuts you off, and you could’ve sworn you noticed her eyes being glossy. her eyebrows furrowed in anger at you, she added on, “who i date isn’t your business. we’re just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be, end of discussion. don’t try to turn our friendship into something it isn’t.” 
friends?
“so now i’m the crazy one for not liking the fact that you’re talking to that dude?” you eventually yelled back. you didn’t even notice her grabbing her things as you talked, ready to head out, despite her hair still being wet from the recent shower. you, however, noticed how she took her still ringing phone and put on her favorite puffy jacket, her soft hand’s acrylic nails digging and clutching onto the mentioned cellular device as you rambled on and on, irritated beyond comprehension. 
“we’re not fucking dating y/n, it’s all casual, i.. i’m not even into girls like that—” she asserted herself, trying her absolute hardest to sound as convincing as possible. you heard it, though, you heard that little twinge of doubt and guilt in her voice. it’s almost like she, herself, didn’t believe whatever nonsense was coming out of her mouth. 
how funny was it to watch her say that all whilst having the fresh hickeys you left on her neck and collarbone not even a few hours ago?
perhaps eric will notice them, too.
perhaps with that, he’ll realize how good you treat her, how he’ll never be able to do it like you do.
how he’ll never be able to make her feel as good as you do.
“sure, you aren’t.” you scoffed at her words, before proceeding to add on, “since you swear you aren’t, how about you stop acting like you are? you know, instead of giving me shit for getting upset.” 
“sorry?—“ she laughed bitterly, those words cut deep.
let me talk, you thought, let me place a damn word.
you continued, “no, seriously! you always do this julie, you always make me feel like i’m fucking insane for seeing it the way it is, for the way i see us. you’re convinced that there’s nothing between us, that we’re just friends, yet friends don’t randomly kiss me throughout the day for whatever reason, do they? they don’t fuck me and tell me that they love me in the process, do they?” as you spoke, she avoided your gaze and walked right past you, heading straight for the front door.
that’s when you recalled a certain moment, “sure, why not, let’s say, for your sake, that completely normal friends do fuck sometimes; they don’t buy you stupid lovey-dovey bullshit on valentine’s day and drive you to the middle of nowhere to stargaze, they do not take you out at night and take every opportunity to kiss you in public whenever nobody’s looking, they don’t fucking say they love you while you’re deep inside them— i mean for fuck’s sake julie do you hear yourself??”
she stopped in her tracks in front of the door, her hand resting on the doorknob. she hates it when you read her like a book, she hates it when you call her out on being the way she acts with you, she hates it when you stare at her like that— she fucking hates you. she fucking hates you for making her feel the way she does, for making her question everything about herself, she hates herself for thinking about you whenever she’s with him—
she let out a noise, something in between a sob and a laugh, before looking back at you with tear-filled eyes, she stared at you, up and down. her eyebrows twitching slightly, she then set her eyes on the ground and bit her lip in what seems to be frustration, frustration aimed both at you and herself.
“if i knew it was gonna be like this, i would’ve never done anything with you to begin with.” her voice was shaky.
you watched her figure as she turned the doorknob and slammed the door on you, with a loud clack. just like that, the apartment was empty, silent and once again, peaceful.
she’d be back, of course, whether she decides to sleep somewhere else and come back the next day or sneak back in here in the middle of the night on this same day, she always comes back after a fight. still, despite knowing that, you couldn’t help but feel like drowning in your own guilt, as this argument wasn’t like any other other. her pained expression still vivid in your memory and terrorizing you, you were afraid that you might never see her again after that.
that was pure dramatization, however.
the only thing that occupied the deafening silence of the room was the muffled sound of julie sniffling and being on the phone with who you assumed to be that boy, already planning to meet up. then, you could’ve sworn you heard the name “eric?” being pronounced as it progressively faded in the distance as she walked away, basically confirming your theory. 
that’s all that filled your house and your clouded mind.
that, and the sound of your pathetic sobbing.
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481 notes · View notes
httpiastri · 9 months
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this christmas – op81
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ski slopes, mistletoes, and the guy you've been crushing on for years – what could be better?
genre: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers!au, smut (just one scene in the end, you can skip it if you want)
pairing: female leclerc!reader x oscar piastri
other characters: lando norris, charles leclerc, george russell & mundt, alex albon & lily muni he, pierre gasly & kika cerqueira gomes
warnings: mentions of alcohol, smut, not much more i think
word count: 13.8k (LMAO)
requested?: yes!!
author’s note: hello hello!! a lot to say about this one. first of all, thank you to @be-your-coffee-pot for this request, and i apologize for not getting to it earlier than now. for everyone’s knowledge, the request was sent in to me in august, so… yeah. i know it’s not exactly what you asked for, but i hope you like it anyway <3
second of all, i feel pretty happy about some of these scenes, but some… not so much. some of the fillers have parts that i really despite, but i don’t really have time to rewrite since christmas is like 2 days away lol. also, my description of the reader’s relationship to charles is not my best work, idk why he barely even appears, and i’m also not sure why logan isn’t in this...
third of all, my red divider things make my posts disappear from the tags, so i didn’t put any in this time. it looks bad, i know, but idk how to fix it. if anyone does, please let me know. :)
and lastly: i only proofread this whole thing once yesterday, but tumblr was being a bitch and i got so frustrated that i do not have the energy to proofread it again. so please, if you happen to find any spelling or grammar mistakes, i would be very thankful if you let me know. <3
hope you all enjoy !!
december 12th, 2:11pm
oscar has always loved winter.
it started in his childhood; the holiday films he'd seen as a child, the way it always seemed to magically snow right on christmas eve really started something in him. it hadn't been common for him to get snow back home in australia when he was younger but once he moved to the england, he got to experience it quite a lot. playing, fighting and just existing in the snow was like an unfilled childhood need that stayed with him until his older years.
he loved spending christmas at home with his family, but ever since he got to experience real christmases with snow, trees and cozy darkness, he craved it more than he craved lying on the beach in his swimming trunks.
so when he was asked to come along to the swiss alps for a vacation during the winter break, he packed his bags right away. he and lando just happened to book the same flight, and they both arrived at the airport around noon, getting into a cab to take them to the accommodation together.
when they arrive outside the cottage, oscar is in shock; it is enormous. he had imagined just a tiny, cute little house – not that he was sure how seven drivers and a couple of girlfriends would fit in a "tiny" house – but he was far from right.
him and lando are the second pair to arrive, just about an hour after alex and lily, who are the self-proclaimed 'hosts' as they took care of all of the booking and planning.
"we thought that one would be lando's room," alex starts, pointing down the hallway. "since it's far away from everyone else, and i'm sure we all would prefer to actually get some sleep during the night time."
"oh, shut it..." lando mumbles, shoving his friend on his shoulder.
"this one can be yours, oscar," lily says, moving in the opposite direction and gesturing to another room. then, she points at the one right next to it. "and this one has two beds, so it's for charles and his sister."
oscar's ears perk up. "y/n is going to be here?" he speaks almost took quickly, making the other three turn to look at him.
"oh, i thought you knew..." lily has an apologetic look on her face.
"i must've forgotten," oscar answers, though he's completely sure no one told him about it. there's no way he would forget you. "don't worry, it's cool."
the hosts continue to move down the hallway, and the mclaren boys are just about to follow along when lando elbows oscar's side playfully. "it's cool?"
oscar raises an eyebrow, trying to keep calm. "what?"
"the youngest leclerc coming along?" a grin takes up lando's entire face. "it's just cool? is she cool, or-"
"goodbye, lando." oscar shakes his head, darting towards alex and lily again. he takes a few deep breaths, hoping the blush he can feel spreading across his cheeks isn't too obvious.
unfortunately, lando didn't need to see the blush to know. he has caught his teammate staring at you too many times over the season, and he is fully aware of the way oscar always is suddenly interested in the conversation whenever you're the topic of discussion.
lando knows everything. and this christmas, he's going to be the best wingman the world has ever seen.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 13th, 12:53am
it's past midnight when you and charles arrive. your flight had been delayed, and then the gps had stopped working all of a sudden. and then, charles just refused to drive any faster than 30 km/h, saying it was too dangerous. as if he didn't drive cars in ten times that speed without even flinching.
you assume the whole house is sleeping already, so you and charles both sneak in as quietly as you can. someone – lily, assumably – has left you a note on the front door, guiding you to your shared room. it all goes smoothly – until charles trips over the doorframe, dropping his bag onto the floor as he tries not to fall down. the sound rattles through the hallway and you flinch, stopping in your tracks as you hope no one's woken up. but just a second later, the door opposite yours opens and a head sticks out.
oscar.
your heart softens and your shoulders relax when your gaze meets his. your soft smile is mirrored on his face, the sleepiness evident in his droopy eyes and the way strands of his bedhead point in every direction.
he looks like he's just about to say something when charles speaks up. "sorry, man! were you asleep?"
he walks up to the australian, giving him a firm handshake and a pat on the back. oscar shakes his head. "i was up reading," his huskey accent is like music to your ears. "i thought i heard some rustling out here, and then..." he nods his head toward the suitcase on the floor.
your brother laughs as he steps back, walking into the room with the "leclerc" sign. "well, i'll let you get back to that then," he says, picking up the bag from the floor and looking back one last time. "good night."
and then, you were just two.
you and oscar stand still for a moment, just watching each other. then, he opens up his arms, welcoming you into his embrace. you step forward and drape your arms around his shoulders as his wrap around your waist, and you let out a content sigh. he's warm, comfortable, and the way he squeezes your body has your mind spinning.
"it's been a while," he says when you part from the hug, a soft grin playing on his lips.
"like a month," you chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest.
"a month has never felt this long before."
you're not sure when your crush on him started forming.
as someone who's always been interested in racing, even in the series your brother isn't in, you've kept up with most results and championships – including oscar's seasons in f2 and f3. after seeing oscar, the unstoppable rookie who completely crushed his season in f3, you made sure to keep an eye at him in f2 the following year. and it's easy to say that you liked what you saw. especially in jeddah.
you'd meet him occasionally around the paddock the following year, just giving him a sweet smile and a quick greeting as if it was no big deal. but you always found yourself squealing on the inside and taking deep breaths to stay calm whenever you made eye contact with him.
then came 2023 and his debut in f1. yet again, he exceeded everyone's expectations, performing better than most drivers who'd been on the grid for years. with his permanent role on the grid, he was around more – and so were you. it wasn't uncommon for the two of you to bump into each other, around the paddock or during media days or in afterparties, and now you tried not to shy away.
talking to oscar was always simple. he was easygoing, it all seemed effortless, and you felt more relaxed. before you knew it, you could chat about racing strategies and tyre management for twenty minutes before a member of the mclaren staff interrupted you, rushing oscar away somewhere. you got to know each other slowly throughout the season, though never really going further than some friendly conversations, but you felt happy knowing that you'd taken the first step towards getting closer to him.
"so..." he starts. "you've been good?"
you nod. "yeah, a lot of studying but it's been alright. you?"
"yeah."
and there it is again, that slightly awkward silence. it's natural, you haven't seen each other since that night in abu dhabi and you're both a little unsure of where you stand after it. the tension is so thick that you could cut through it with a knife, and you kind of want to escape the whole situation. but then he speaks up.
"hey, i just wanted to-"
he's interrupted by the call of your name, and when you turn around, charles is leaning against the doorframe, eyes hazy. "are you going to sleep tonight or what?" he asks, dragging a hand through his already messy hair.
you feel a weight lift off your shoulders – and at the same time, your stomach tightens in disappointment. you nod at your brother, looking back at oscar to give him a wave and a "sleep well", before joining charles in your shared room.
oscar stands still in the corridor for a moment, before sighing and slapping himself in his mind for being so awkward and messing up this opportunity. but on the other side of the door, you stand still too as you watch your brother jump onto his bed, taking a deep breath to clear your mind.
you're just thankful the room is so dark that he can't see your ever-reddening cheeks.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 13th, 10:24am
despite the never-ending pitter-patter of your heart as you went to bed last night, you could fall asleep quite quickly, seeing as you were utterly exhausted from traveling. breakfast this morning feels like you and charles have just been reunited with your childhood friends after being kidnapped for years; not like you had just gone a few weeks without seeing each other. everyone runs around hugging, chatting about how much they've missed each other and how great this trip will be.
"did you get new highlights?" kika asks you, sliding into the seat next to you by the long table as you stuff a piece of bread into your mouth. the room is a combination of a kitchen and a dining hall, with a big cooking area and a glass wall giving the dining area a beautiful view of the mountains outside. in the middle stands a long table with enough seats for all of you, filled with fresh pastries and other breakfast goods to celebrate the first day of the trip. "or is it just the light?"
"just the light," you answer, shooting her a smile as you pick up your cup of coffee.
"oh my god, i almost forgot to ask you," lily starts and places her elbows on the table, her face resting in her hands. "what happened to that guy from raya you were talking to? did you end up going out?"
oscar is sitting a few seats down the table, pretending to be immersed in a conversation with some of the other drivers about the last few races of the season, while actually just doing his best to listen in on the conversation you're having. when he hears alex's girlfriend mention raya, his ears perk up and his breath gets caught in his throat. a million thoughts instantly crash into his mind.
she's seeing someone? how could i not know this? she's on raya? is she actively looking for a partner? who is this guy they're talking about?
he coughs and tries to act normal, shaking off the uncomfortable feeling passing through his body. he soon hears the sweet sound of your wholehearted laughter, and he almost smiles instinctively at it, before he can remind himself that lando's story about las vegas isn't exactly a smiley matter. "you're not going to believe this, i have the best story," you say in-between fits of giggles. "i met up with him for some drinks, and guess what he said? that he has a foot fetish and has dreamed about me caressing his face with my feet." all of the girls squeal and explode with laughter, making some of the boys flinch and look over to see what all the commotion is about. "so, safe to say, we never met up again. and i haven't wanted to go out with anyone else from there, either. i have a feeling they're all just creeps."
"hey, don't lose hope!" kika says while elbowing your side, but her actions are too soft, forcing you to fold over as an uncomfortable feeling spreads through your body. however, a burst of laughter spills past your lips. kika immediately holds her arm back, laughing along. "crap, i'm sorry! i totally forgot how ticklish you are."
you shake your head, your hand landing on her shoulder. "no worries," you tell her. "but, i haven't lost hope. i just don't think my soulmate is lurking around on raya with the foot fetishists."
oscar feels his shoulders relax again, feeling alright with focusing back on the boys' conversation now that he knows you in fact aren't seeing anyone.
maybe he has a shot, after all. as long as he doesn't talk too much about your feet.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 14th, 3:09pm
lando thinks he's so smart.
when he tells oscar to go ask if you'd like to have some of the gingerbread cookies he's bought, it's the third time today he has forced some kind of interaction between the two of you. he is sure that the more time that the two of you spend with each other, the more likely you will be to stop pining and just confess already.
but this time, oscar glares at the brit. "why don't you ask her yourself?"
"because you know what room she's in," lando hums back, reaching into the cupboard with some groceries. "i keep getting lost, the house is too big. plus, i'm busy." he motions to the half-empty grocery bag on the counter.
oscar lets out a sigh, but nods. "how can you memorize all tracks on the calendar, but you get lost in a cabin?" he asks rhetorically, whilst turning around and making his way down the hallway towards your room.
it's not that oscar doesn't enjoy 'accidentally' being forced into talking to you; it's the extreme lack of discretion lando is showing that makes him annoyed. it makes oscar seem like he's the one coming up with silly excuses to talk to you, and he doesn't like how it makes him look. he'd rather be seen as chill, laidback, someone who doesn't force things. he doesn't want you to catch on too early and reject him.
your voice echoes a 'come in' when he knocks on the door to your bedroom, and he pushes the door open just a little to reveal you sitting on the bed, a thick blanket wrapped over your shoulders. a grin spreads across your lips when you make eye contact with him. "hi," you say, placing the book you were reading on the bedside table.
"hey," he answers, stepping inside the room. "i... lando bought some gingerbread cookies, and we were going to make some hot chocolate, and..." his voice trails off as his eyes wander down your body, taking in the christmas sweater you're wearing and the fuzzy socks covering your feet. he smiles absentmindedly at the sight, loving how cozy you seem, and wishing he was sitting right there with you, sharing the blanket.
you nod, understanding him despite his lack of words. "i'll be right there."
oscar gives you a thumbs up – one he then facepalms himself for when he's left your room – before moving towards the kitchen again. but when he walks into it, he sees something hanging from a lamp. he stops in his tracks. "no way..."
festive cookies aren't the only thing lando bought when he went to the local supermarket. he also got the ultimate tool for securing his master plan – a mistletoe.
he doesn't know how, but he's planning to make sure you and oscar meet underneath it at least once before the holidays are over. there's no way you'll both be able to avoid it all week.
of course, lando isn't the only one rooting for the two of you. most of the other drivers know too – how can they not notice the glances you share and the way you light up when someone mentions the other in a conversation? – and most of them are in on his plans. charles is probably the only one in the house who's still oblivious to your and oscar's pining, and lando thinks that he might interfere with the matchmaking if he figures something out, so the brit keeps quiet.
oscar wants to pull the mistletoe down, rip it apart and throw it in the trash, but he refrains. something inside him tells him this might actually work out in his favor – and he decides to trust his gut this time.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 15th, 2:01am
sleeping can be tricky, especially when your brother is snoring loudly in a bed just a few meters away from you.
who even decided to put him and you in the same room?
when you've been tossing and turning to no avail for about an hour, you decide it's time to do something, anything, to hopefully get a little tired again. a glass of warm milk never hurt anyone, did it?
you make your way to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of milk and put it in the microwave, before turning to look through the windows.
the view of the mountains is breathtaking. there is an untouched, thick layer of snow covering the area, with new flakes still falling. the sun set long ago, but the snow makes it all seem light. the lake below you is just barely visible by now, almost completely coated in snow.
it's completely serene, and you find yourself getting lost in the scenery. however, you're shaken out of your trance when you hear steps behind you. when you turn around, your eyes find someone standing just a few meters away, barely visible in the dark.
you jump in your place and clutch your chest in shock, not expecting anyone else to be up at this hour. when the person steps into the light of the little kitchen lap you had turned on, you relax instantly. "holy shit, oscar," you breathe. "you nearly scared me to death."
"i'm sorry," the australian chuckles. "i didn't know how to approach you without scaring you..."
"what even are you doing up?" you question, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the counter.
"i was just reading in my bed when i heard your door opening, and then footsteps, so..." he trails off when his eyes wander out towards the living room, seemingly just as taken by the sight as you were just moments ago. "i wanted to make sure everything was okay."
"well, everything is okay, so..."
there's some kind of awkwardness hanging in the air. it's not only because of the obvious uncertainty of what to say or do in this situation; it has more to do with the fact that this isn't the first time that the two of you have found yourselves this close with this much tension, all alone at night. sure, it's a lot like the night of your arrival here, but another memory springs to your mind, too.
just under a month ago, following the after-party in abu dhabi, oscar had accompanied you back to the hotel when you started getting too tipsy to keep yourself up on the dance floor. your brother had been nowhere in sight, so oscar took it upon himself to help you out, draping an arm across your waist before walking you all the way to your hotel room. and when you'd arrived in the dimly lit corridor, you'd turned up towards him to thank him, accidentally brushing your nose against his as you did. both of you had broken out in giggles, neither especially sober, but you stayed close – and when the laughter settled, you just watched each other. when his gaze had flickered between your eyes and lips, your breath hitched in your throat, the anticipation growing stronger. you had leaned in even closer, your eyes fluttering closed-
but just as your lips were about to brush his, you had been interrupted. a door a few meters away had opened and the two of you jumped apart, watching as your brother stepped out and exclaimed that he had been wondering where you ended up. oscar had wished you both a good night before hurrying off, the embarrassment of almost getting caught by his friend being too much for him to handle.
you just hoped oscar had been too drunk to remember it, because otherwise, things were bound to get quite awkward. you didn't want him to act differently around you just because you have feelings for him.
thankfully, he hasn't said or done anything to make you think he does remember it.
as you're thinking back to that night in abu dhabi, you nearly get your second heart attack when the microwave goes off with a loud beep. you scramble to turn it off and take out your milk, almost burning yourself on the hot glass in the meantime.
oscar watches you with an amused grin before he forces his gaze off you, eyes wandering over to the windows again. "quite the view, huh?"
you look over your shoulder at the blanketed mountains. "yeah, it's breathtaking," you reply, before growing quiet.
he pauses for a moment, too. "there's something magical about this place. makes everything seem simpler, quieter..."
you nod. "yeah, it does."
something about the moment makes you realize that maybe, just maybe, the awkwardness between you and oscar isn't as insurmountable as you once thought it would be. the shared quietude is comfortable, and you feel at ease. he hasn't brought up abu dhabi – he probably won't, you feel – and maybe you could both just put it behind you and focus on enjoying your trip.
when you eventually get back in your bed, it's with the same kind of pitter-patter of your heart as when you and charles arrived in the cabin a few days ago. needless to say, the glass of warm milk probably isn't going to help.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 16th, 9:02pm
the mistletoe has moved.
when you first noticed it the other day, it was hanging from a kitchen lamp. and now, it's in the doorframe leading into the living room.
you're planning on avoiding it at all costs, not wanting to slip up and accidentally get under it with the wrong person. or the right one, for that matter. the awkwardness of kissing your crush in front of friends and family would be too much to handle.
some others seem to have the exact opposite attitude towards the decoration, though. kika and pierre can be found by it about ten times per day, and alex and lily have no issues sharing a few kisses whenever they "accidentally" pass it.
no matter what, lando has a mischievous grin whenever anyone mentions it, or even walks near it.
his grin stays on when he decides to let himself be in charge of the outing you all have to the christmas tree farm nearby. the farm is too big and would take too long if everyone was going to look at every tree, so lando divides everyone into groups of two based on who they're standing next to as you walk past the gates.
what a coincidence that you're standing right next to oscar when he says this.
lando ushers the two of you off to the rows with quite tall, pre-decorated trees. "so," oscar starts as you both stop in front of a tree with white lights and ornaments hung all over it. "what do you think about this one?"
"well, it's lovely," you say, scanning it thoroughly. "but isn't the true test how well it fits into the living room?"
he nods, despite his confusion, and he shoots a curious glance your way. "and how do we determine that?"
with a playful grin, you hold up an imaginary measuring tape, pretending to size up the tree with a critical eye. "i'm trying to figure out if it fits this corner best, or..."
he follows your gaze, realizing the tease in your words. "i think maybe it's better in the other corner," he hums and points to the side as you turn a little.
"exactly."
lando never inserted himself into a group; he's too focused on watching the two of you share a lighthearted laugh at the situation. though his mistletoe back in the cabin might still have a trick or two up its metaphorical sleeve, he is already proud of his matchmaking antics.
and, he is sure you'll both crack. it is just a matter of time.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 17th, 1:43pm
"i never thought skiing would be this hard," you groan as you step into a cottage, the warmth enveloping you and beginning to defrost you instantly.
oscar laughs at the exasperated tone in your voice. "this was just the kids' slope, you do remember that, right?" you stick your tongue out at him, slumping down on a bench by a table. "you just wait before you do some real skiing..."
you had never skied before today. oscar had, but he said it was too long ago and that he needed an easy start. plus, he couldn't just leave you all alone in the children's slope without an instructor.
you'd fallen over at least five times, despite the fact that the slope was practically flat. thankfully, oscar promised to buy you some hot chocolate in a cottage café to cheer you up.
when he comes back from the cashier carrying two big, steaming cups of chocolate, you've regained most of the feeling in your fingers again. the hot piece of ceramic almost burns your skin, but you think it's worth it; you need the sugar and you need it now.
"you know what the worst thing is?" you ask, bringing the cup up to your face with both hands. you start sipping on the drink and oscar glances at you with a questioning look as he slips down next to you on the bench. "carrying those goddamn skis with me. not only does it suck to actually ski, but dragging them all the way from the rental shop…"
"if it's that much of a bother, i can carry them for you."
"and carry your own too?" you scoff, watching him flinch as he burns his tongue on the drink. "you're not that strong."
he lets out a groan. "you're not even strong enough to carry your own, so you shouldn't say anything."
"i can carry them!" you protest, shooting him a glare. "i just don't want to. two very different things."
you both go silent momentarily, too busy focusing on how good it feels to no longer be frozen to the marrow. the cabin is filled with people; kids running in circles around the tables, soon to be tired again after the initial sugar shock from their afternoon snack; a group of older ladies gossiping and enjoying getting some rest just like you; and some young adults in the far corner are already busy dancing on the tables with their after-ski drinks in their hands.
"you know what? i changed my mind," you tell him, scooting away from him a little and placing your skiing boot on the bench. "these things. they're the worst."
you start to unclasp the boot, sighing in relief as you finally tug the shoe off your foot, throwing it onto the floor. you've only worn it for about an hour, but you can already feel the bruises beginning to form. you're just about to reach down to undo the other boot, too, when oscar reaches towards your foot.
your eyebrows shoot up as he takes it in his hands, pulling the foot into his lap. and then, his fingers begin to wander up and down your foot and ankle, giving you soft squeezes and pressing down on the spaces where he thinks the boot has squeezed you the most. you hold back a pleasured sound, seeing as it would sound way too inappropriate right now, but oscar subconsciously takes note of how you're getting flushed because he soon looks up at your face.
"is this okay?"
you swallow down the lump in your throat, nodding quickly. "y-yeah… just don't tickle me..."
when did things get so intimate? mere minutes ago, you couldn't think about anything other than how you were so cold your nose was going to fall off. but now, you can't stop your eyes from following his long, sleek fingers, thinking about how good they feel and imagining how good they would feel somewhere else-
"give me your other foot."
you're thankful that he interrupts your train of thought before your mind wanders too far.
compose yourself, woman.
"don't tell me you have a foot fetish, too," you tease, turning around so that you can place your other foot on the bench too. he lets out a hearty laugh, swiftly undoing your other boot before letting it drop to the ground.
"oh, shut it. do you want a massage or not?"
you shoot him pout, giving his shoulder a thankful pat before taking your cup in your hands again. you focus on the drink, watching how the steam rises and the marshmallows melt. you can't look over at him anymore, scared of your cheeks growing too red and your face giving away your feelings.
the bell by the door rings behind you, and you look towards it out of habit. and in comes alex, george, lily and carmen, laughing and chatting loudly about the black slope they just went down. oscar doesn't seem to notice, but you hastily pull your feet from his lap, sitting down properly – unfortunately making eye contact with alex as you do. he leans forward to lily, whispering something in her ear, and you watch as her eyes dart to you and a smirk grows on her lips.
shit.
the clicking of her boots against the stone floor meets your ears and oscar turns his head at the sound, suddenly realizing why you withdrew from him. "hey there," lily cheers, each of her hands landing your and oscar's shoulders. "what have you been up to?"
your eyes meet his briefly, before looking back up at lily. "just... drinking some chocolate..."
"oh, no skiing?"
"she crashed too much, i couldn't keep her out there and let her continue to embarrass me all day," oscar tells her and you shove his shoulder.
"do you mind if we join you guys?" george asks, coming around the table and not even giving you a second to think about it before he sets two cups of chocolate down on the table. the grin he's wearing only tells you one thing: alex told him already. carmen's lips show off a matching set.
"not at all..."
‎‎ ‎‎
december 18th, 10:32am
you huff as you slump down on the living room couch, your mood not even getting brought up by watching the newly installed christmas tree in front of you. you hadn't even been out skiing that much yesterday, yet every single inch of your body aches. not only do you have big, blue bruises on both of your hips due to the many times you've fallen onto the hardly packed snow, but every muscle screams with pain as you drape a blanket over your body. needless to say, you decided to stay at home today instead of heading out with the others for another round.
"are you sure you don't wanna come along?" kika asks as she enters the room, her pretty pink sunglasses perched at the top of her nose. the pout on her lips almost makes you doubt staying in, but when you move to sit up more straight again, you know you've made the right decision.
you nod, giving her a weak smile. "yeah, sorry."
"but oscar promised to come along?"
you freeze, your cheeks growing red as you hear her words.
did she know? about your feelings for him? did the others already tell her about the incident in the cottage yesterday? did they really interpret the situation that way?
"w-what?"
"oh," she chuckles at your reaction. "i just meant that he was so bad yesterday, so i thought that seeing him fall over a couple of times would be worth the pain."
"we're gonna trick him into going down a black slope with us," says pierre who walks into the room, arms lacing around his girlfriend from behind. "we'll send some clips."
you let out a breath of relief as they leave the room. maybe they don't know. maybe your secret will stay secret for a little longer.
the group leaves in pairs or trios and you tell them all goodbye from your place underneath the many blankets. everyone has left by now except for oscar, which confounds you since the others seemed to have so many plans for him. your confusion only grows when he steps into the living room without any skiing gear on, just wearing an oversized, cozy hoodie and a pair of sweats.
"why aren't you out with the others?" you question, your eyebrows raised at him.
"well," he sighs, flopping down next to you on the couch. "i can't find my helmet." when you shoot him a doubting look, he raises his hands defensively. "what?"
"i don't believe it."
"you don't have to, but it's the truth."
"how do you even lose a helmet? it's so big?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. "i assumed you were used to keeping track of where your helmet is since if you don't have your helmet with you for races, then you can't race."
"i swear i put it on the drawer by the front door like half an hour ago. i don't understand what could've happened."
you have to give it to him; he is really doing his best to cover this up. you find it pretty obvious that he just doesn't want to ski because of what the others were planning to do to him. but maybe if kika and pierre hadn't spilled their plans already, you would've believed him.
"but hey," he says, bringing you out of your thoughts. "don't feel obligated to include me in whatever you were going to do here now that you finally have the house to yourself." he pushes himself off the couch, standing up and shooting you one last smile before turning to walk away. "i'll let you have some peace."
he takes a couple of steps towards the bedrooms, but then you get the idea. "oscar." he stops in his tracks, throwing a glance back at you. "i was planning on doing some baking, and…" you shuffle slightly in your seat. "it wouldn't hurt to have an extra helping hand."
"i'm a horrible baker, though."
"and i'm the best baker ever, so i guess we cancel each other out." you stand up from your seat, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you make your way toward the kitchen. "let's go make some mediocre cookies!"
oscar shakes his head, grinning to himself as he follows behind you. this was definitely not what he had planned, but he sure is liking the way it's going.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 18th, 8:14pm
oscar had not been kidding when he said he sucked at baking.
he put in twice the needed amount of flour, and only half of the sugar. and as if that wasn't enough, of course the mistletoe had moved to the kitchen, making the whole situation quite uncomfortable as you both had to take strange routes while navigating through the kitchen to avoid it. not even your baking skills could save the cookies.
as an apology, oscar promised to buy some fancy gingerbread cookies tonight at the christmas market you'd all planned to go to in a nearby city. he was strongly set on going through with his promise, despite how many times you told him that it was alright and that they wouldn't taste as good as homemade ones anyway.
you've all been at the market for almost two hours now, but it feels like you've only gone about ten meters. your friends, mainly lando, george and alex, are stopping at every single shop and stand, making sure to check out all products and buying at least one thing in every store, no matter how long the line to the cash register is.
"lando-" you groan at the sight of the brit running into yet another store; this time, a shop filled with christmassy outfits for dogs. "he doesn't even have a pet…"
kika is grinning next to you, shaking her head. "he told me earlier today that he wanted to buy a present for roscoe if he got the chance," she says as most of the group joins lando. "makes more sense than when he bought that screwdriver thirty minutes ago just because it was green."
"the power of 'christmas colors', apparently," you hear oscar's voice from behind you, and you turn back to meet his eyes.
"well, i'm not surprised. just disappointed. and cold, and tired of standing still."
oscar points his head to the side, up the street. "i think i saw a stand a little further up that sells cookies, maybe they have some gingerbread ones."
you nod, a small smile entering your lips. "let's go check it out, then. kika, do you wanna come-"
you're cut off by the sound of pierre calling for his girlfriend, holding up a reindeer costume and blabbering on about how it would be perfect for her cousin's dog. "sorry guys," kika says before strutting off to her boyfriend.
you both shrug before walking down the street towards the stand oscar had spotted. the sugary scent of cookies meets your nose from far away, and your mouth waters at the mere thought of the sweets. when you arrive, a sweet old lady sitting behind the stand greets you and tells you all about the different cookies she's baked. gingerbread, sugar cookies with little candy canes, snowball cookies, and various traditional swiss cookies.
"would you like to have a taste, dears?" the lady asks, pointing her hand to a plate with samples. you and oscar take a gingerbread cookie each, popping it into your mouths.
"oh yeah, this is lovely," he says, looking like he's savoring every crumb.
"much better than ours," you answer, nudging his shoulder with yours. he gasps and places a hand on his chest, feigning offense.
you turn your attention back to the lady and telling her you'd love to buy a little box of cookies from her. oscar pays for them and she wraps the box in some pretty gift paper, handing it to you before you continue making your way down the street. the house walls and all trees are wrapped in christmas lights, some blinking in random colors and some with a soft glow of an elegant white. the streets are filled with people wearing santa hats, ugly christmas sweaters, and scarves so big half of their faces are covered. there's not a single frown in sight, the happiness and love so obvious you can almost see little hearts flowing above everyone's heads.
you glance into a couple of different stores as you stroll, stopping occasionally to check something out. when you reach a stand with different kinds of jewelry, something catches your eye: a golden necklace with a heart-shaped charm hanging from it. you carefully pick it up, your heart fluttering in your chest as you inspect it.
and when you look up at oscar from the necklace in your hands, he feels like the air is stolen from his lungs. your eyes are twinkling with happiness, outshining all lights in the entire christmas market. the excited smile on your lips is contagious, and suddenly, it's like the world around you has stopped and everyone else has disappeared. you're both just grinning at each other like two lovestruck fools, nothing in either of your minds other than the person in front of you. the sight of your rosy cheeks from the cold makes the butterflies in his stomach multiply by the second.
wow, he really is totally and fully whipped.
"really pretty," he finally gets out, unsure if he's talking about the necklace or the woman standing before him.
"pretty? it's gorgeous," you answer, eyes flickering back to the jewelry in your hand. "i adore it. how much is it?"
just as the guy in the booth is about to answer, you feel someone grab your free hand. "come on guys, they're closing down soon and we still have a bunch of shops to visit!" kika is pulling you along so fast you barely have time to put the necklace down.
lily notices the disappointment on your face and pats your shoulder. "we'll come back here sometime before christmas, don't worry."
lando shows you the christmas tree costume he bought as you wander down the market again, but oscar suddenly stops. "guys, i forgot my phone back at the cookie stand. keep walking, i'll catch up with you," he says, pointing behind him with his thumb and disappearing before anyone can say anything.
it's a good excuse, but you clearly see the outline of his phone in his back pocket as he hurries down the street.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 19th, 9:22pm
the days roll on with a gentle rhythm of shared glances and fleeting touches between you and oscar. unbeknownst to both of you, lando, ever the persistent wingman, continues his behind-the-scenes matchmaking efforts.
in some magical way, lando manages to get you and oscar paired up for pretty much anything. board game night? you and oscar just happen to get the exact role cards that make you teammates. time for some ornament decorating? you and oscar are the only ones who don't get a seat on the couch, having to sit on the floor together and share all your materials.
funnily enough, it never gets awkward between the two of you. even when you are left all alone, there is always something to talk about, some dumb thing lando has done that you can tease him about behind his back, or something you are curious about when it comes to his racing career so far. somehow, being with oscar started feeling comfortable, natural, unforced.
one specific night, alex comes up with the idea of playing card games, to which only a few of you are actually interested. some plan on going to bed early so they can hit the slopes first thing in the morning, while others just aren't in the mood. oscar said he would just finish wrapping some christmas presents and join you all later, and you catch yourself feeling disappointed that he's not on the couch next to you, helping you win (or taunting you to make you lose). it surprises you how much you're drawn to him, how it feels like something is missing when he isn't around, when you didn't feel this way just a few days ago.
you try to shake the feeling off, but it's still lingering even as you start playing with your friends. eventually, you excuse yourself to get a glass of water from the kitchen to take your mind off things. but-
just as you round the corner going into the kitchen, your head crashes into something hard. you shriek as you stumble, hands coming up to grab the person in front of you as you lose your balance, but a pair of hands wrap around your back, holding you up. when you look up, you're met with oscar's big brown eyes blinking down at you. "you okay there?"
you let out a relieved breath, nodding at him. "yeah, thanks to you. what were you doing coming around the corner that fast, though?"
he chuckles. "what were you doing not looking where you're going?"
"touché."
your hands are still holding on to the front of his hoodie, and you're about to let go of him and walk away when you notice something in the upper periphery of your vision. something is hanging above you. but, it can't be-
of course it is.
the mistletoe.
oscar looks up just as you do, jaw dropping slightly. "oh..."
"indeed..."
you both keep your vision pointed up, as if the mistletoe would disappear if you just keep on staring at it. oscar's hands slowly begin to slide off your back, and he's hoping you'll both just pretend like none of this ever happened. it would be the least awkward thing to do.
"maybe-" his breath hitches in his throat when you speak up. his gaze is on you again, but you're still looking at the plant. "maybe we should do it. just... for the christmas spirit, you know. i love christmas."
you don't even know what you're blabbering on about. you're trying to improvise a reason to kiss your brother's colleague that makes at least a little sense, but you're completely lost. you realize how dumb you sound, and you expect to see him staring at you like you actually are insane when you look back at him.
but what you don't know is that he thinks it's the best idea ever. he is just as into it as you are, if not more. he doesn't look at you like you're crazy; he's just dumbfounded, blinking at you as he tries to understand what's happening. did the girl he likes really just say they should kiss? because she loves christmas?
oscar gulps, but something in him gives him the courage to nod. "i mean," he starts, voice weak. "what's the harm? it's just... tradition."
"right. yeah, that's exactly what i was thinking."
the tension is higher than ever as your faces are already just inches apart. you aren't sure who should take the initiative and lean in, but before you can overthink it, you're both doing it subconsciously. your noses brush against each other briefly and a little giggle escapes past your lips, and this whole situation feels very familiar. this time, oscar can't hold back anymore, so he closes the gap and presses his mouth to yours.
the kiss is quick, not much longer than a peck, but something changes inside you. when you didn't know what it felt like to kiss oscar, you didn't think too much about it. but now that you have felt his lips on yours, you crave it.
he seems to feel the same way, because when you kiss him again, he's pressing against you instantly. your hands move from his chest to his shoulders as your lips move in sync, tilting your head to get a better angle. oscar's touch travels up and down your sides, fingers grazing the bare skin of your stomach when your sweater lifts.
oscar takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and you let out a hum, making him grin into the kiss. his tongue swipes between your lips before slipping into your mouth, exploring it for the first, but hopefully not last, time. you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, already growing hot as his hands move down to your butt.
kissing oscar is so easy, so comfortable. it's like you've done it so many times before, like it's what you were made to do.
you're so relaxed and so focused on the kiss that you don't even hear lando's footsteps right next to you, nor his snicker from a few meters away as he picks up his phone to snap a couple of pictures. you don't even hear him strutting away to the living room, nor his loud proclamation to the group: mission complete.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 23rd, 8:35am
the rest of the days leading up to christmas consist of a lot of sneaking around.
the days are filled with secretive kisses when you're sure no one is watching, fleeting pecks or longer liplocks, hurriedly parting and acting like nothing happened when you hear approaching footsteps. they're filled with soft brushes as you pass each other in hallways, little squeezes of your waist or his arm when someone is around, conveying more than anyone could guess. and they're filled with giant, knowing smiles matching on your lips, with longing gazes and sly winks across the dinner table.
now, his hand is warm in yours despite the freezing temperatures of the air. when you said you forgot your mittens in the cabin, oscar had just smiled, taking off one of his own to give it to you. and to heat your other hand, he intertwined his fingers with yours, his thumb stroking the back of your hand as you walked.
you'd slipped out of the house before anyone else had woken up, wishing for a peaceful moment for yourselves. the two of you haven't really had time to properly talk ever since your moment under the mistletoe, and even though it wasn't outspoken, you both knew there were things to be discussed.
you're halfway around the lake when he finally touches on the subject. "so..." he starts, nudging your shoulder with his. "you like me, huh?"
you snicker. "i have for quite some time now, actually."
his hand squeezes yours. "tell me about it."
and when he asks, you tell.
you tell him about seeing him all those years ago, thinking that he was just a pretty face, a good driver, and not much else. you tell him about getting to know him more and more in the last two years and realizing that shit, he's so much more than that. you tell him about the butterflies, about the sneaky glances, about falling for him.
and then, he tells you his side.
he tells you about knowing of you from your first appearances in the f1 paddock, the curiosity in him growing for every picture of you and charles he saw. he tells you about wanting to approach you but not knowing how, not wanting to come off too strong or clingy. he tells you about how nothing has ever been more disappointing to him than charles's timing back in abu dhabi. then, he tells you about how his fingers had secretly been crossed all trip, hoping that lando's attempts to pair the two of you up wouldn't fall through.
you share giggles and smiles as you tell your stories, and it all feels so natural even though it's so new. and you think to yourself that maybe, this won't be so hard to get used to.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 23rd, 5:46pm
"how are things going with oscar?"
lily's voice makes your heart skip a beat. you had just walked into the kitchen to grab a gingerbread cookie, not expecting her to be doing the dishes this late in the evening – and especially not expecting her to ask you something like that. "what do you mean?" you ask back, trying to stay composed as you strut over to the cupboard, reaching into it for the box of cookies.
"are you going to be like... boyfriend and girlfriend now?"
the box slips out of your hands and crashes to the floor before you can catch it again. did you hear her correctly? your eyebrows shoot up and your mouth hangs open as you look at her again. she scoffs.
"oh please, the two of you aren't exactly sneaky," she says, looking back into the sink. "you know, lando took pictures of you under the mistletoe. and we all saw you coming back from your little trip to the lake earlier today."
"oh my god." you cover your face with your hands, letting out a groan. "oh my god. no way."
lily laughs, washing the last few plates under the tap before placing them on the side to drain. "don't worry, we were all in on it."
"and what does that mean?!"
"lando had a plan." of course he did. "we all agreed to help him out. except charles, he's still oblivious."
"what kind of plan?"
"well, just small things here and there, really." she wipes her hands on a towel before turning around and leaning against the counter. "hiding oscar's helmet so he'd have to stay here with you instead of skiing with us. walking really slowly in the market so you'd both get so tired of us that you'd stroll off alone. and the mistletoe, but that's obvious..."
as lily spills the details of lando's plan, you feel a mix of embarrassment and surprise, along with a hint of amusement. you're suddenly very aware of the collaboration that has taken place behind the scenes, and you take a deep breath as you slowly lower your hands from your face.
"so... lando really orchestrated all of this?" you exclaim, still trying to process the fact that your friends have been actively working to bring you and oscar closer together.
lily chuckles, nodding. "yes, and he's been loving every moment of it. we all figured you two needed a little push."
you shake your head in disbelief, a smile playing on your lips despite the initial shock. "what's the endgame here? is lando secretly a matchmaker or something?"
"he wishes," she says with a smirk. "i think he just enjoys playing cupid when he can." she shrugs, crossing her arms over her chest. "but hey, it worked out well, didn't it? you and oscar seem pretty cozy."
"yeah, i guess..." the mention of oscar brings a blush to your cheeks. "i just didn't expect to have a whole team of co-conspirators."
lily laughs, stepping forward to pat your shoulder. "it's all in good fun. besides, it's about time something happened between you two." you nod in agreement, smiling at her. "now, spill. how are you feeling about all of this? is he boyfriend material?"
you hesitate for a moment, contemplating your newfound dynamic with oscar. a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "yeah, maybe. we're figuring it out, i guess. it's all been... surprisingly nice."
she grins, satisfied with your response. "well, then, i'd say lando's plan was a success." she backs away, walking towards the kitchen exit. "just enjoy it, okay? and don't be too mad at us. we just wanted to see you both happy."
you nod and watch as she leaves, still processing the directed events that have led up to this moment. as you're left alone, you can't help but smile to yourself at the thought of everything that's happened – and everything that's yet to come.
suddenly, for the first time in your life, you feel thankful for something lando has done. you'll have to remember to thank him later.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 24th, 10:23pm
just a few hours ago, charles was challenged to a snowball fight with the rest of the twitch quartet. and how could he ever say no to them?
for you to fall asleep before he got back would just be stupid, because there's no way he will be able to keep quiet when he eventually he crashes into the room post-fight. so instead, you sit against the headboard of your bed, a thick blanket draped over your body and a good book in your hands as you enjoy the tranquility of the last few moments of christmas eve.
there's a soft knock on the door, one so low you could've just as well missed it. "come in," you call out, looking up from your book as the door creaks open. surprise paints your face as oscar enters the room, his eyes sparkling with the thrill of carrying out a secret mission.
in his hands, oscar holds a beautifully wrapped box, adorned with a crimson bow. "merry christmas."
"oscar, what are you up to?" you ask, laughter dancing in your eyes.
"giving you your present." he sits at your feet, holding out the present to you.
you place your book beside you on the bed, accepting the gift with a curious smile. you unwrap the present, and as you remove the lid of the box and your eyes are met with a necklace, your breath hitches in your throat.
the heart-shaped pendant is familiar – it's the exact necklace you'd eyed in the christmas market. you look up at oscar, a myriad of emotions playing on your face. "i didn't forget my phone," he admits, a hint of vulnerability in his gaze. "i just really wanted to get it for you."
speechless, you delicately trace the edges of the pendant with your fingers. "oscar, i..."
"it's a christmas gift, but you can wear it whenever you want."
you hold the necklace up to him. "like now?"
he nods and takes it from you as you turn around, brushing away your hair so that he can secure the chain around your neck. when you turn back, you catch the glint of admiration in his eyes. "you look beautiful."
you hold the pendant between your thumb and pointer finger, a silent acknowledgment of the connection formed by the gift. "it's perfect, oscar. thank you." you tilt your head, smiling at him. "you're not getting your gift until tomorrow, though."
"just seeing you with this necklace is enough of a present for me. i don't need anything else."
‎‎ ‎‎‎
december 25th, 6:04pm
christmas day morning is for gift exchanges. you all sit around the tree in the living room, giving out presents and sharing the background stories behind the silly little things you've bought each other. you receive a ton of random objects that people had bought that day in the christmas market; objects they bought just to irritate you and oscar. now that you know, you find it quite funny – and seeing charles's confused face as you unwrapped a green screwdriver from lando is definitely one of your highlights of the day.
your present to oscar is, obviously, better planned than most other gifts. beneath the wrapper is a box titled "skiing survival kit" written in big, red letters. in it lies a pair of thick socks (with a note reading "to protect your feet from those horrible boots"), a bag of hot chocolate mix ("for moments when skiing feels too challenging; a little warmth to make everything better"), a bottle of peppermint-scented massaging oil ("you never know when you find yourself in need of a massage..."), and a handwritten letter about how you enjoyed your stay in the cottage much more than the actual skiing and a promise to stay in and warm his chair for him next time he's out "skiing".
then, midday rolls around. the chefs of the group, also known as the few people who don't burn everything they attempt to cook, take their time to make a good dinner. in the meantime, the rest of you prepare some games and competitions, including a trivia, a snow fort building competition, and a gingerbread house-decorating contest that ended in lando letting his competitiveness get the best of him. safe to say that no other gingerbread houses were still standing, other than lando's, meaning the brit won by default. his price: getting thrown in the snow in just his pyjamas.
and the evening? it's dedicated to a movie marathon, as per russell family traditions.
it has all been planned into the finest detail; the couch in the living room is decorated with blankets and pillows, nearly every bowl in the house is filled to the brim with snacks, and mattresses and pillows on the floor for those who don't fit on the couch. everyone was included of the vote of what movie you were going to see, though you had a feeling george had cheated when you were told the 'home alone' series won. especially since it's the one series he hasn't been able to stop talking about wanting to watch all trip.
you're settled on the edge of the couch, a blanket wrapped over your shoulders and your knees pulled up to your chest. you're laughing along with something kika has said from right next to you when you hear a beep from the kitchen, indicating that the last bag of popcorn was ready. you assumed lando would be getting up to fetch it, seeing as he was the one who insisted you needed one more bag, but when your eyes find him, he sits very contently and comfortably a few seats away. he looks back at you, eyebrows rising as you make eye contact.
"hey, you're the closest to the kitchen," he says, nodding his head in your direction. "go get them."
he isn't wrong, but he still makes no sense. "no way, norris."
he pouts. "please, be quick so we can start the movie already."
"you suck."
he sticks out his tongue at you but you've already walked off. when you return, a new bowl filled with popcorn in your arms, you aren't exactly surprised to see lando in the seat that used to be yours. you shoot him a glare, to which he answers, "i could barely see the tv from where i was sitting!"
"oh, but you think i'll be able to?" you scoff at the way he shrugs his shoulders, seemingly to say that it's now none of his business. and when you look at his old seat, you are even less surprised to see who's sitting right next to it.
oscar is looking up at you, confusion mixing into his features. he's been scrolling on his phone for the last few minutes and didn't notice when his teammate left him alone.
neither of you complain when you slip into lando's old spot, though. oscar immediately grabs the blanket in his lap and drapes it over you too. you shuffle closer to him as the movie turns on, the soft fabric of his pyjama pants brushing against yours. the bowl of popcorn is propped up on your lap, and when you reach into it to grab a handful, it touches something warm. you rip your eyes from the tv to see your hand brushing against oscar's. of course.
considering the other touches and kisses you've shared these last few days, it's not even a very intimate action. and yet, something about it leaves both of you giggling.
"so many clichés this trip, huh?" he says, eyes flickering between your hands and your face.
instead of answering, you grab his hand in yours. your fingers slip in between his easily, as they've done so many times these last few days, but you pull your hands underneath the blanket to keep them out of sight from everyone else.
it's a good movie, but it's easy for you to zone out when you feel oscar's hand squeeze yours. neither of you can really stay away from the other, inching closer as the movie progresses and stealing little cheek kisses when everyone is focused on the most exciting scenes. and when you start to grow a little tired, your head instinctively lands on his shoulder as you let out a little yawn. oscar desperately has to hold himself back from cooing at you, feeling so soft and prideful that you're leaning on him, and he settles for leaning his own head on you.
you both think you're being subtle, but everyone in the room understands what's going on. even charles, who has now been let in on what's happened between you and oscar after he walked in on lando telling alex about how cute the new couple in the house looked walking around the lake, can't take his eyes off the two of you. as your older brother, he feels like he should be doing something or saying something to protect you. he wonders what his role should be here – aren't brothers supposed to scare their sisters' boyfriends away?
but charles realizes that oscar isn't an enemy. in this moment, you look so peaceful, so content; like you've found the the long-lost puzzle piece to make you complete. how could he possibly interrupt that?
‎‎ ‎‎
december 25th, 11:28pm
charles is still fast asleep on the couch when you slip into oscar's room after the movie has ended, fingers intertwined and your laughter mixing as he pulls you along to his bed. his hands find your hips as he sits down on the edge of the bed, urging you to lower yourself onto his lap, and you happily oblige.
"look up," he says, and when you do, you're not surprised by what's hanging in the roof.
the mistletoe.
"oh," you start, looking back at him. last time you found yourself underneath the mistletoe with oscar, you had been more nervous than ever before. but this time, it isn't as scary. this time, you're able to shrug, a teasing grin forming on your lips. "i guess we should kiss, then. just for the christmas spirit, you know."
his lips are curved into a big smile. "oh, i do know." one of his hands comes up to tuck some hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek in his palm. "it's because you love christmas."
you can't hold back from giggling, and neither can he, both of you leaning in to seal your lips. your first encounter underneath the mistletoe was hesitant, but it feels like that was ages ago, in another lifetime. now, with his lips pressing against yours, it feels like it's all you've known.
he's so gentle with it, his kisses delicate and tender, and your heart flutters at the feeling. his hands land on your waist as your arms wrap around his neck, scooting in even closer. when your crotch brushes against him, he involuntarily lets out a moan into your mouth, and you stop for a moment to pull away. both your eyes and his are wide as you look at each other, and oscar doesn't know what to say. his mind is racing, not sure if you thought that was awkward or too soon or-
"that's so fucking hot," you say, and he finally exhales. you kiss him again, speaking against his lips. "wanna hear more."
he has no problems letting out more sounds when you keep up your actions, your hips rolling down on him rhythmically. his hands find the hem of your sweater and slip inside, instantly roaming your sides. his cold touch tickles, and when his fingers move along your waist, you can't help but giggle against his lips. he laughs along with you, but he only does it to match you. he's dumbfounded when you part from him and you grab his wrists to make him halt.
"you're too cold," you start, a bit breathless already. "it's-"
"are you really that ticklish?" he chuckles, fingers running up and down your sides again to test you, and his heart melts when you throw your head back, laughing. "oh come on, how am i supposed to do this if i can't touch you?"
"warm your fingers next time and we should be fine."
"next time, huh?" a combination of a smirk and a grin plays on his lips. "planning ahead?"
"well, it depends on how well you perform tonight." he sticks out his tongue at your taunting tone. "just take it off already, will you?"
oscar happily obliges, pulling the material off you before reaching for his own sweater, throwing them both onto the floor. his eyes stick to your chest, to the soft, red bed bra holding up your breasts, and he feels himself growing harder instantly, because this is so much better than he'd imagined. you can't exactly complain about what your eyes are met with, either; oscar's toned chest and his broad shoulders are basically calling out for you to come and press your lips to them. or sink your teeth in them. probably both.
he gives you a few quick kisses before his hands land on your hips and he flips you both around, laying you onto the covers. his lips meet the skin below your ear, and then travel down the side of your neck. he hears your breath hitch in your throat when he finds a spot you enjoy particularly much, making sure to memorize it for the future. and when his kisses trail even further down, they meet something hard and metallic. when he leans back, he realizes that you're wearing the necklace.
he didn't notice it until now, since he was too busy being mesmerized by your breasts earlier; but now, he can't take his eyes off it. the little heart charm rests just above your actual heart, and something about seeing it makes his heart flutter. the necklace he bought for you, the one that makes you think of him and only him. it's like you're already tagged as his.
"cute," he whispers to himself, placing a long kiss right on top of the heart. he can feel your real heart beating underneath his lips, fast but not really enough, and he can't wait to make you feel like it's pounding out of your chest.
he starts placing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach, his hands finding the waistband of your sweatpants.
"you okay with me taking these off?" he asks, parting from your skin to watch you nod your head. he pulls the material down your body, smiling when your underwear comes into sight. they're not a pair of lacy lingerie or victoria's secret-lookalikes, but just a regular pair of panties in a deep green color with little candy canes. his eyes flicker between your bra and your panties. "green and red, huh?"
"well, what can i say?" you smile. "i love christmas." he giggles, and so do you, as he leaves your pants somewhere on the floor before moving further down your body. when his hands near the fuzzy socks with little cartoon santas dressing your feet, you're quick to speak. "those stay on, though."
"oh, is that so?"
"gotta make sure you're not just doing this for that foot fetish you might or might not have." a laughter erupts from his chest. "i've had too much of that recently."
"well, i don't have one, so i don't mind you keeping them on." he moves up on the bed again, fingers reaching the hem of your underwear. "but i can take these off, right?"
"things would get kinda tricky otherwise, i'd say,” you tease, but oscar merely blinks up at you with raised eyebrows.
"tricky, yes. but not impossible."
you shake your head, a grin making its way onto your lips. "next time, oscar."
and there it is again. next time. the way you say it so casually, like there's no doubt in your mind that there will be another time, that you'll do all of this again.
yet again, instant boner.
your panties are off in a second, and he doesn't waste any time before pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh. his hand takes care of your other thigh, thumb brushing up and down your skin, as your lips travel closer and closer to where you want him the most.
you suck in a breath when you feel his warm breath against your core. his tongue meets your clit and your eyes flutter closed, one of your hands reaching down to entangle in his hair. as his tongue draws circles around your bud, one of his hands leaves your thigh, a finger swiping along your wet folds before pushing slowly into you. you don't know which sensation to focus on, both growing stronger and pushing you closer to your limit every passing second. when he's pumped you a couple of times, he adds another finger and then another, pushing deep into you. his fingers curling inside of you makes you pull on his hair even harder, your mind growing hazy and your breaths shorter.
"o-oscar," you let out, subconsciously buckling your hips towards him in hopes of creating more friction. "i'm so clos-"
you're cut off by the combination of a moan and a whine that leaves your lips when his tongue flicking your clit speeds up. "come for me, sweetheart," he tells you, his voice sending vibrations against your core.
your legs shake around him as you completely let go, feeling the climax wash over you just moments after his order. your free arm drapes over your face, covering your eyes in your arm as you try to catch your breath. oscar continues lapping you up, helping you ride it out, also licking his fingers clean before letting his hands caress your sides soothingly. he's unsure whether his fingers are warm enough now to not tickle you, or if you're just too busy coming down from your high to even realize you should feel ticklish, but he smiles at the thought nonetheless.
"everything alright up here?" oscar asks as he moves up to your face again, one of his hands prying the arm off your face. you slowly open your eyes, your hazy gaze meeting his loving one and you can't help but to cup his face in your hands. you pull him down to your lips, lazily lacing them together. he pulls away just enough for his lips to still brush yours when he speaks. "i'll take that as a yes."
you're quick to nod, but even quicker to connect his lips with yours again, not wanting to be apart for even a second.
your hands slide down his neck and the front of his body, loving the feeling of his strong muscles under your touch. your fingers reach down to the edge of his pajama pants, and you let out a chuckle when you notice the ever-growing tent in them. "don't laugh at me," he starts, biting down on your bottom lip as a warning. "you're so hot, how could i not get this hard?"
"oh, shut it," you say, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks. "just take them off, will you?"
"as you wish."
as he shuffles off the bed and pulls off his own pants, plus his boxers along with them, you take the time to reach behind you and unclasp your bra, letting it slide down your arms and off the bed. when he reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a condom, you raise your eyebrows. "oh, so you were planning this?"
he shakes his head as he climbs on top of you again. "i was hoping, not expecting. those are two very different things." he removes the wrapper and throws it onto the table, rolling the condom onto himself. "do you need anything? or-"
"just you."
oscar presses his smile to yours, kissing you like he has no rush in the world, like he just wants to savor this moment with you. "well then," he says against your lips, nudging his dick against your entrance. "i have to give the lady what she wants, don't i?"
you can't control the whine that slips into his mouth when he pushes into you. you thought you were ready for him, but he's so big and he stretches you out so perfectly. he pauses once he's slipped entirely into you, his lips finding a spot below your ear as he allows you to get used to him. your pussy is throbbing already, still sensitive from just minutes ago, and the little involuntary clenches around him make oscar grow more and more eager.
when he finally starts moving, you drape your arms around his shoulders for stability. his thrusts are slow but deep, and yet you desperately want more of him. you hook a leg over his hip, the other following soon after, and you gasp at the way he bottoms you out completely. one of his hands comes up to squeeze your breast, thumb flicking over the nipple as his pace speeds up. the sounds you make and the way your legs squeeze him close makes him feel like he could cum anytime, but he tries to hold back because he needs to see you fall apart beneath him for the second time tonight.
"oscar..." you cry out when his free hand slides down your body, a finger coming in contact with your clit again.
"just a little more, love." his thrusts have grown sloppy and his figures on your bud aren't exactly perfect, but it's good enough for your orgasm to hit.
your back arches off the bed, your chest pressing into his as you nuzzle your face into the side of his neck to hide your moans. when your walls tighten around him, he reaches his high too, his body shaking as he rides it out. your heart is about ready to jump out of your chest when he collapses onto you, both of you trying to catch your breaths. "holy fuck," oscar starts, his breath warm on your skin. "that was amazing. you feel amazing." you try to gather energy to speak, fingers getting lost in his curls. "you taste amazing, too. better than any christmas dinner."
you give him a weak slap to his shoulder. "shush."
"it's true!" he pushes himself back a bit, mouth hanging in mock offense. "this was the best present i could've ever wished for."
"the necklace is higher on my list, though."
oscar pauses for a moment. "i'm not sure if i should feel proud or offended."
you snicker. "i was hoping for the latter," you tease, but regret it the moment oscar's hands find your waist, fingers dancing along it and tickling you yet again. the squeal you let out does nothing to halt his actions, and he doesn't even budge when you try to push him away by his shoulders. "i was kidding!"
"apologize. now."
his fingers still working their way on your skin make it almost impossible for you to speak again, but you do your best to take a deep breath. "i'm- i'm sorry! oscar- stop it!"
he finally stops, and you finally get to breathe. "i'll go get a wet towel," oscar says, pulling away from you and giving you one last glance. he almost doesn't leave the bed when he looks at you, though – he finds the sight almost too good to be true. your rosy cheeks, the dreamy smile on your lips, your hair spread out on the pillows. he's scared that if he leaves you, maybe the spell will be broken and he'll realize all of this has just been a dream. because that's just how this all feels: surreal.
but it is real, and he can't wait to have you like this in his bed again.
‎‎ ‎‎
december 26th, 12:56pm
packing up after a good trip is always a bittersweet affair. realizing that you have the real world waiting for you, your actual lives with responsibilities and obligations, and that you can't just stay in this fairytale forever – this moment was definitely not something you looked forward to.
you and charles need to get back to monaco to celebrate christmas with your other brothers and your mother, before he needs to go away for pre-season work again. you're meticulously folding up your clothes, zipping up bags and exchanging smiles as you reminisce on memories of the week.
but, things are different this time. you know that the magic of this trip isn't going to stay here – in one way or another, you'll bring some of it with you back to your real life.
oscar.
you've already made plans to meet up after new years, and even when he's busy with work, you know that you'll at least see him during every race weekend. neither of you are ever more than a flight, or a call, away, and you just can't wait to see where this all takes you.
"so... oscar, huh?" charles's voice breaks the silence, his eyes glancing in the direction of your open door that lets in the sound of oscar's voice from the living room.
"hm? what about him?" you reply, trying to hold back the smile threatening to adorn your lips when you hear his name.
charles cocks an eyebrow at you. "you and him... kind of obvious." he gazes towards your bed. "besides, your bed is made. you didn't sleep here last night."
"well, i-" you start, but charles interrupts with a knowing chuckle.
"relax, i'm not going to be a police. just..." he shows off a sweet smile. "enjoy it."
with a nod and a shared understanding, you both continue packing, an unspoken acknowledgment hanging in the air. the group gathers to bid you farewell by the front door, and gratitude fills your heart as you exchange goodbyes with your friends. you grow especially soft when lando pulls you into a hug, a cheeky grin on his lips. "thank you," you whisper, giving his cheek a quick peck to really convey how much you appreciate everything he's done this holiday. he just squeezes you back, telling you not to worry about it.
finally, as you turn to say your farewell to oscar, the atmosphere shifts and the group watches with amused anticipation. "until next time," you say, your eyes holding a promise that transcends the physical distance.
"until next time," he repeats, smiling as you engulf him in a tight hug.
you pull away just enough for your ear to brush against his ear, your voice low. "charles knows, by the way."
"w-what?" his eyes widen for a moment, flickering between you and your brother – but then realization dawns. "well, in that case..."
before you can react, oscar pulls you closer again. he presses a goodbye-kiss on your lips, right there in front of everyone, and the group erupts into cheers.
and the loudest of them all? lando, of course. "if i'm not the best man at your wedding, i'll never forgive you guys."
1K notes · View notes
balletfilmss · 6 months
Note
hiii can i get a smau percy x daughter of persephone who loves flowers and lives on a farm
FLOWER POWER!
✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of persephone!reader smau
✸ notes: tysm for requesting & im sorry this took a hot minute, but i hope you like it!! 🤍
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…now playing: love grows (where my rosemary goes) — edison lighthouse
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persea_: i’ve officially made friends with the ferns 🫡(thank you yn for not letting them eat me)
tagged: @flowersforyn
view all comments
g_man: are you…are you AWARE of how ferns work?
╰┈➤ persea_: yeah i am. 2 words: chomp chomp
chqsingannabeth: who’s…who’s truck did you steal?
╰┈➤ persea_: what’re you a cop?
flowersforyn: guys don’t be fooled by the second pic, this was the aftermath of him DROPPING me
╰┈➤ persea_: one, didn’t have to expose me like that & two, I SAID I WAS SORRY
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: SORRY ISNT ENOUGH, MY ASS STILL HURTS
╰┈➤ persea_: i bet it does 😗😉
╰┈➤ g_man: reminder that this is a PUBLIC app
ghostking: pls don’t break her
╰┈➤ persea_: did…did u just say PLEASE?
╰┈➤ ghostking: i take it back. break her and i break your neck.
team.leo: why she violating a tree like that
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: leo just bc you didn’t get hugged as a kid doesn’t mean nobody else did 😒
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: OH SHE ATE YOU TF UP WITH THAT ONE. GAGGED
tysonn: ask yn if ferns will be my friend too
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: they absolutely will tyson, we’ll have to bring you out to the farm next weekend <3
╰┈➤ tysonn: yay!
╰┈➤ persea_: me too, right?
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: …
╰┈➤ persea_: RIGHT??
notpipermclean: yn get this loser off our farm, the kids are asking questions
╰┈➤ persea_: PIPER STOP HITTING ON MY GF AND SPREADING FALSE INFORMATION
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: NO🤗 im gonna report you for hate speech
╰┈➤ persea_: mf YOU’RE hate speeching ME
╰┈➤ sp4rky: @ team.leo the girls are fighting 👀
╰┈➤ team.leo: 🍿🫢
…now playing: strawberries & cigarettes — troye sivan
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flowersforyn: fav boy on the farm!! 🍓
tagged: persea_
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chqsingannabeth: your face being cut off of that first pic is CRIMINAL 😩 not percy’s tho, that was a gift from the gods
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: im srry babe, i looked goofy 😔
╰┈➤ chqsingannabeth: oh no ma’am, you could NEVER
╰┈➤ persea_: WE GONNA IFNORE THE COMMENT SBT ME HELLO?!
persea_: the best day with my absolute best girl 🩵
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: kicking my feet & giggling, ILY SEAWEED BRAIN 🤍
╰┈➤ persea_: ILY TOO FLOWER POWER
g_man: WHAT did you do to make those strawberries look so scrumdidliuptious?
╰┈➤ persea_: dyslexia just took me OUT with this one dude 😭
╰┈➤ g_man: nobody was talking to you brotha 🙏
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: grover bud i use my mommy’s magic, hope this helps 🫶
persea_: don’t let her lie to you, people. i thought my first fit was BOMB & then she made me put on that sweater cuz it was cold as hell outside
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: i want you to read that again…slowly
notpipermclean: save me yn the garden princess …save me
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: have no fear bae, im here 🫂
╰┈➤ persea_: yn, babydoll, i beg of you, PLEASE stop hitting on people that aren’t me
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: there’s enough of me to go around perce 😒
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: YEAH PERCY SHARE
sp4rky: why is bro carryin a whole bakery on that swing
╰┈➤ persea_: jason…🤭
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: NAW IF I CANT DO IT YOU CANT DO IT, JASON GET TF OUTTA MY COMMENT SECTION OR ELSE
╰┈➤ sp4rky: I PLEAD THE FIFTH
flowersforyn uploaded a story!
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@ g_man replied:
why is bro so silly 😭
idk but he’s the silliest
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@ sp4rky replied:
tell him to leave the flying to me
i’m not telling him SHIT from you
RAHH
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@ persea_ replied:
idk what ur on about, i look terrifying here
oh yeah, i’m shaking in my boots
great, now can you pls come help me get down?
idk…
YN PLEASE
yknow, i can’t kiss you from up here
i’m otw 🏃‍♀️ 💨
438 notes · View notes
strwbrryeyes · 4 months
Note
nini… think about… iwaizumi meeting a girl who’s surprisingly stronger than him. she can lift that man with no problem. she has a sleeper build or something !! :3
𖦹°。⋆ Friendly competition (iwaizumi x reader)
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⟡ cw: fluff, competitive fem!reader and iwaizumi, taken place at a gym, idk i'm bad with tags, lmk if i missed anything
⟡ a/n: omg requests are finally rolling out after ages! also i rewrote this and proofread it countless times so if there's anything wrong i'm sorry im just DUMB
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Iwaizumi Hajime has always loved going to the gym, which is evident as he goes there almost every day. Not only is he very fit and built, but his health is also in excellent condition as he knows that taking care of himself and his inner workings is just as important (actually, more important) as keeping up his outward appearance. It also helps that he is an athletic trainer, so he always has a way to remind himself to stay in shape as he would always nag his athletes about the importance of being fit while not overworking themselves. Overall, Iwaizumi has always found comfort and importance in working out and keeping everything about himself in good shape.
So that’s when he saw you about to lift an alarmingly heavy weight, he walked towards you as worry took over him but then stopped in surprise when he saw you lift up the weight over your head with complete ease and no sign of struggle.
“Impressive…” Iwaizumi mutters out as he watches you place the weight back down in front of you.
As he catches your attention, you turn around and smile at him with pride. “Thank you! I’ve been working towards that for weeks now!” You happily tell him while wiping the sweat off of your forehead. Iwaizumi continues to watch you as you walk towards the rest of your stuff in pure amazement and curiosity before striking up another conversation.
“You know, I’ve never seen someone like you lift like that,” Iwaizumi starts as he leans over the piece of equipment in front of him “What’s your secret?”
With a chuckle and a light flush creeping up your face, you look at him with a teasing kind of look. “Not much really, just a lot of hard work and a lot of trial and errors of multiple techniques!” you exclaim to him as you flex your arm further surprising the man by how well-built you actually are.
“Why don’t you show me a few tricks then?” he quirks his brow playfully as he steps closer to you as if he’s proposing a challenge.
“I don’t see why not,” you take one step closer, looking up at him “but I’m warning you, you might get yourself into more than you can handle.” playfully teasing him, you smirk at Iwaizumi causing him to drop his jaw in shock a bit before he lets out a low chuckle.
“Oh, I’m sure I can handle it.” Iwaizumi finally says before sticking out his hand for a handshake “I’m Iwaizumi, and I’ll see you here same time tomorrow.”
“I’m [name], and you can bet I’ll be here tomorrow to make you beg for mercy.” You take his hand in yours and shake it as if he had just made a deal with the devil.
What the both of you don’t know is that this handshake would be the one that would change your lives for the better.
As the next day rolls around, you both stay true to your words and show up to the gym around the same time. You both share techniques with each other and become friends easily as you both push each other to new limits, sparking a playful rivalry that leads into more sessions at the gym.
With each day at the gym together, you both challenge each other to multiple tests of strength and endurance that even catch the attention of all the other regulars to the point where they all surround you during every small competition you guys had. Even with all of the eyes looking at you two, you and Iwaizumi only see each other with no care for everyone else. Was it just that you wanted to one up each other? Or was it more than that? Neither of you were too sure yet, but you did know that you never wanted your time together to come to an end.
Days and weeks pass by, and you and Iwaizumi still find ways to work harder and to encourage each other to go further than you have been in the gym, but now you’ve come to realize you have challenged each other to almost everything one could think of.
With this realization, you walk up to Iwaizumi who is doing his post-workout stretching and sit across from him.
“Well, Iwa-chan~” you say in a mocking tone, knowing that nickname annoys him ever since his friend, Oikawa, came to work out with you both a couple of times, which causes him to roll his eyes, “Looks like I’ve taught you everything I know and you still fall behind a bit.” you smirk as he whips his head up to look at you.
“That’s a lie and you know it.” he spits out before standing up.
Your smirk turns into a full-on shit-eating grin as you look up at him from the floor “How is it a lie? I’m still stronger than you.” You tease him, making his eyebrow twitch.
“You are not stronger than me.” He chuckles, only a bit offended before turning around to grab his water bottle as an idea pops into your head.
As Iwaizumi drinks his water, you slowly and quietly stand up and walk behind him. Once directly behind him, you snake your arms around his waist and lift him up, causing a high-pitched yelp to come from his mouth which causes you to burst out laughing and accidentally drop him on the ground, making him lose his balance which leads to him falling over.
After a few more seconds of your non-stop laughing to the point where your eyes are squeezed shut with tears poking out from the corners, Iwaizumi takes this as an opportunity to take revenge and scoop you up bridal style in his own two arms.
This action makes you stop laughing as shock takes over you with your face turning a bright shade of pink, Iwaizumi smiles at you.
“You may be able to lift me a few inches off the ground, but that doesn’t mean anything as long as I’m able to lift you,” He says in a voice that's soft and soothing to your ears before placing you back on the ground slowly.
You try to gain your composure as fast as you can but only fail when he takes your hand in his and looks directly into your eyes with a look you’ve never seen from him before. A look of adoration.
“Let me take you to dinner after we leave?” Iwaizumi asks you, with hope in his voice, and after a few moments of shock and silence, you lightly punch his chest before nuzzling your face into it so he wouldn’t see your face, which was still the pinkest shade possible.
“Okay, but I get to choose where we eat.” Finally, you mutter out an answer into his chest, and all he can do is hug you while lifting you up into the air once again.
With that, you and Iwaizumi go out to dinner and talk and laugh before you both decide to make it official.
After dinner, you walk hand in hand back to your place, happy that you’ve found each other, but of course, you can’t let this be too sappy of a moment, so you let go of his hand and step out in front of him.
“So! What’s it like having a girlfriend that’s stronger than you?” You tease him with your signature grin, making him roll his eyes before pulling you into his arms.
“It feels pretty great actually.” Iwaizumi mumbles out, causing you to cheer and pump your fist into the air as he finally admitsthat you’re stronger than him.
You’re only stronger than him by a bit, but he doesn’t care as long as he gets to see you smile your goofy smile more.
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191 notes · View notes
jakegasm · 2 years
Text
mistakes | lo'ak sully
genre: angst ♧ 
pairing: lo’ak sully x omatikaya!reader (mentions of neteyam and tsireya) 
word count: 2.5k
warnings: heartbreak, cheating (? idk why i put a question mark, there’s most definitely cheating involved 😂) 
brief info: upon moving to Awa’atlu the sully family agrees to have you tag along, you and lo’ak have been best friends for as long as you two can remember. Though to his parents it has been nothing but a friendly demeanor between the two of you, unknown to them that you and lo’ak have been in a secret relationship for quite some time now. While in Awa’atlu, lo’ak seems to be avoiding you more and more lately spending more time with tsireya than you, leaving you and your relationship entirely in the dust. 
playlist~ 
flowers: lauren spencer smith 
two places at once: haley joelle
Punchline: aidan martin
notes:  ‼️lo’ak and reader are 18‼️ 4 years later after the sully family moved to Awa’atlu
Neteyam is NOT dead, bby is still alive bc I said so 
//again this was barely proofread and its not my best bc i kinda rushed it T-T i still hope you all enjoy though! and please I do not hate tsireya she's a cinnamon roll I just needed to use someone and she fit perfectly T-T//
Syeha si mì ulte lonu: breathe in and release 
Mawey: calm
Rä'ä: do not
Skxawng: moron, idiot
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The waves break around the rocks in the shallows, their foam crests becoming chaotic lace over the blue. You watch it swirl, mesmerized as if the movement of the water choreographs your thoughts. The crunching of the sand tearing you away from your thoughts, the space next to you now becoming occupied. You shifted your body away from them avoiding the inevitable conversation you two were to have. You felt him looking at you, his eyes burning into the side of your face. You were ignoring him and he knew it. He gently rocked his shoulder into yours in hopes of getting your attention, lucky for him it works. 
“Why are you here Neteyam?” 
“What? I cannot accompany a friend now?” 
Rolling your eyes, you set them back on the crashing waves in front of you. The waves swimming up to shore tickling your toes with the slightly cold water. 
“If you are looking for Lo’ak, he is with Tsireya.” Irritation hung in your voice, the male did not let this go unnoticed. Though he wanted to question it, he decided to ignore it. 
“So that is where he has been all these days…” His voice trailed out in thought. He noticed your body tensed up slightly at the comment, digging your head more into your knees that were pushed up against your chest. Your eyes prickled with tears but you blinked them away before he could notice them. But it was too late. He felt his chest tighten seeing your eyes glaze over in sadness as the setting sun reflected ever so perfectly on the tears that threaten to spill. Reaching out a hand he brushed away a tear that had managed to escape, his lips in a thin line. 
“My brother is a skxawng, he will realize what he will lose but until then…it will already be too late.” 
His words hit you like a brick. You didn’t want to wait for him to realize it because the more you waited the more you watched him fall for someone else. Scooting closer you nuzzled yourself into his side finding comfort in the warm embrace as his arms immediately wrap around you giving your shoulders a reassuring squeeze. You two stayed like that for some time as you wept in his arms, trying to make amends for your lover. That you were unfortunately losing. 
________________
“Neteyam I’m sorry!” You laughed running out of his marui pod, trying to make an escape from the consequences of your actions. 
“Oh no, you think I’d let you off the hook for that? No way!” The male chased you even quicker. Laughter erupted from your throat as your feet moved as quickly as possible to get away from him. You peeked over your shoulder to see he was gaining on you rather quickly, and the smile on your face widened even more. Your destination was his parents' Marui pod since you knew that’s where your safety resided, his mother would for sure protect you from him. You hastily jogged up to the pod trying to keep your balance and speed as the walkway wobbled a bit under your feet. You managed to make it to the pod’s opening before you felt hands clasp your waist holding you tightly against their chest, swinging you away from the pods' entrance. You wiggled in his grip while your joined laughter filled the pod while you gasped for air begging him to release you. 
“Neteyam put her down.” His mother spoke a smile resting on her face, his father appearing not too shortly behind his wife. 
“You heard what your mother said. Put her down boy.” 
Nodding he gently placed you back on the ground, but not before poking his tongue out at you, something he had learned from Kiri. You just giggled at the reaction turning towards his parents who held a look wanting either one of you to explain what was happening. 
“That’s one hell of a way to say Good Morning. Mind telling me what’s that about?” His father spoke, his tone demanding but not harsh. 
“y/n threw water on me while I was sleeping, sir.” Neteyam’s eyes sent you a quick threatening look only to receive a small laugh from you. 
“Yeah, that’s because you wouldn’t wake up after you PROMISED me that you’d take me fishing today.” You added in, earning yourself an eye roll from him. 
“So you throw water on me? May Ewya help you for what I will do when–”
“Good Morning.” Neteyams' threat was cut off by someone entering the pod. 
The wide smile on your face disappeared; just as quickly as your playful demeanor. He greeted his parents before sharing eye contact with you, your stomach now doing somersaults. He nodded at you as a greeting, not daring to give you a proper greeting. You felt small. So small. You were on the verge of nausea as you watched him avoid all sorts of contact with you. 
“Lo’ak don’t be rude, speak to y/n.” His mother softly smacked him on the back of his shoulder earning her a low hiss from the male.
“Good morning…y/n.” His eyes stayed fixated on something that wasn’t you, annoyance radiating off of him. 
“Good morning lo’ak…Um, Neteyam?” Neteyam was quick to make contact with you, your eyes pleading with him to leave. Quickly he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and swiftly turned you away from the others to avoid them seeing the tears that were now falling so freely while you bit your lip so hard trying your best to stop them. 
“We will be back before eclipse. I promise.” He swore to his parents nodding at them and smiling, but not before he shot his brother a deadly glare, only to see his brother already held one against him. Wiping his head back around he guided you out of the pod making sure to keep your head down as he whispered sweet reassuring words to you along the way. 
__________________
“Syeha si ulte….lonu.”  The arrow flew from your bow grazing your fingertips lightly during the release, only for you to miss your target…again. Whining you turned your head to Neteyam who was trying very hard not to laugh at your failure. 
“Laugh it up while you can, mighty warrior.” Your tongue poked out at him tauntingly after “warrior”, though he cleared his throat his smile never left his face when he approached you. He stood behind you turning your body so your back lay against his chest, his hands guiding your arms back into your shooting stance. 
“Your arms should be straight, or you’ll miss your target again.” His hands held underneath your arms gently smoothing over the skin underneath them before pushing them upwards. “Take a deep breath and hold it. It must come from your stomach or it will not work.” Bringing his other hand down he gently pushed on your stomach causing your body to tense up immediately, you found yourself holding your breath for another reason. 
“Mawey, your heartbeat is fast. No wonder you cannot catch any fish.” He joked, his breath hitting the shell of your ear due to the close proximity you two were in. Shaking your head you tried to distract yourself from how close you two were. Straightening your posture, you sucked in a deep breath making sure to hold it in just as instructed locking eyes on your wiggling target and–
“Ahem.” Someone cleared their throat halting your motion. You both turn your head towards the person responsible for the noise, only to be met by the one person you didn’t want to speak to but also a person you yearned deeply for. 
“Sorry for uh… disrupting you two but can I talk to y/n?” Lo’ak watched as Neteyam refused to take a step away from you making him bite the inside of his cheek in annoyance.
“Alone.” 
The older brother never moved from your side, his body now shielding you in a way. The tension in the air felt thick, so thick not even a knife would be able to pierce it. You placed your hand on his arm giving it a squeeze to grab his attention, “Neteyam.” Your voice soft, his head turning down towards you his eyes immediately softening almost as if they were pleading with you. 
“I’ll be fine.” You tried your best to give him a smile, just enough for him to let you go. It was obvious your smile didn’t convince him, huffing his mouth turned into a thin line before nodding at you moving further to the opposite side to let you go. You nodded at him once more before following behind a rather fuming lo’ak. 
_______________________
“Lo’ak!” 
The boy ignored you as he walked fast in front of you slapping things out of his as he passed them. You tried your hardest to keep up but there was no way your speed equaled anything to his big long strides. Jogging a little you gained a bit of closeness to him his hand just in reach for you to grab. 
“Lo’ak wait–”
“What?!” He snapped at you angrily turning towards you. You felt like a turtle going back into its shell with his tone. A tone he has never used with you. 
“I just wanted you to slow down, you’re walking too fast.” Your voice sounded so little making his ears flick downwards. 
“Where are we going anyway?” 
“Our usual spot…We need to talk–about us.” A familiar ache started to churn in your stomach at these words. Your thoughts become jumbled up in your mind of all the possible outcomes of this conversation. 
Was he finally going to tell others of your relationship?
Or…
Did he finally want to call it quits? 
Mindlessly you followed him deeper into the closed-in cave area, the familiar scenery coming into your view not too long after you both decided to keep walking. You looked into the glowing water smiling faintly at the glimmering goldfish that rushed to the surface upon your arrival, seeming excited to see you again. You almost bumped into the back of lo’ak not realizing he had stopped moments ago, you stared confusingly at his back before his voice caught your attention. 
“What were you and brother doing before I arrived?” You blinked at him confusingly. Turning his body fully towards you now, his face completely ruined by the anger that he was trying so desperately to keep inside. The confusion on your face seemed to anger him more than he already was causing him to roll his eyes at you. 
“You and my brother. You’re way too close to be “just friends”, every time I see you two your both so close to each other!” 
You and Neteyam were friends. That was it. There were no romantic feelings involved once so ever whenever you two conversed. At least that’s how you saw it on your end. 
“If you are asking if I and neteyam ever did anything with each other the answer is no.” You were starting to take offense to the accusations he kept spuing out at you, rendering you into irritation at the boy. 
“Really? Because that’s so hard to believe when I see his hands all over you a few moments ago. And from the looks of it, you weren’t moving them any time soon!” 
“He was teaching me how to fish!” 
“Why him? You could’ve asked me. Me! Your boyfriend!” 
“Well, I can’t ask my boyfriend if he’s never around when I need him!” 
You didn’t notice that your breathing had started to pick up or even notice how the image of him standing in front of you became blurry from the water that swelled up in your eyes. 
“Or when he’s not with tsireya showing her all the things that you showed me!  Or–or ditching our plans for tsireya because she wants to go look at the stars with you!” The gentle wind from a small opening in the cave blew past your face making you feel the coldness from the tears that now overflowed from your eyes. 
“It’s always tsireya, tsireya, tsireya! Never me! I’m never your first choice anymore.” Your chest heaved up and down rapidly as your feelings felt like they were oozing out of you, your mouth just could not stop projecting all the feelings you had bottled up for so long. 
“Neteyam has been there for me when you weren’t. Night after night, day after day, HE has always been there. Not you lo’ak. And guess what? He’s cleaning up the mess you made…AGAIN.” Your last words held so much power, you knew those words were going to sting but, you needed him to hear them. Hear how much pain he has caused because of his absence. Hear what a mess he’s made of you. The scenarios of them interacting start to flood your mind, the acts of kindness and love the two radiated gave off a familiar feeling that you two once shared. You swallowed your fear down as a fearful question bubbled up in your throat. 
“Have–have you two done anything?” 
Silence. All you were met with was silence. But this was all you needed to finally make sense of his recurring disappearances. Your face scrunched up in disgust, your tears now producing more than they have ever before. 
“I knew it…” Swiftly you turned away from him almost jogging your way out of the small hideaway area, ignoring his calls out to you. You didn’t want to hear a thing he had to say anymore, his silence spoke loudly for him already. 
“y/n, listen to m-” His hand caught your wrist trying his best to make you look at him, instead you jerked your arm away from his grip harshly. 
“Rä'ä!” The anger in your voice shook him, you never raised your voice at him, though he knew he deserved this. He made a mistake and he needed you to understand that. 
“You do not get to touch me anymore. You do not even need to think about me anymore.”
His ears dropped dramatically, his tail hiding in between his legs. It was now his turn to breathe heavily, his brain not wanting to believe the words you were throwing at him. 
“Please, just let me explain what happ-”
“You have explained enough lo’ak. Now go, go before tsireya starts wondering about your whereabouts.” You turned away from him only to be stopped by him once more. 
“I don’t care about tsireya right now! Dammit just listen to me!” His voice shook massively, his eyes pleading desperately at you almost making you push your hurt and anger to the side and wrap him back in your arms that you wanted him back desperately in. Almost. 
“Goodbye lo’ak.” You took your arm away from his hold once again ignoring his pleas for you to come back. Your heart ached hearing how desperate he sounded for you, though you needed him to learn. You needed him to learn that someone’s heart is not something to gamble with. 
He needed to learn from all the mistakes he made.
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james-is-here · 5 months
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Part one
Sections: Joining Ateez, Chan sees you've debuted again, Growing closer to Seonghwa, You plague Chan's feed, What happened after the end of Pt. 1/ You talk to Skz
Blogs: @heartbinn | @leezanetheofficial @belladonna6-6-6 @aygotnobitches who suggested some ideas to me which helped me make this.
Tags: Angst, fluff, Mn and SKZ make up, mention of a Sasaeng, Mn gets cut, idk what else to put here, Skz are like super regretful for what they did, Chan finds out your taken?, Seonghwa is protective over you in the airport part. That's all, i think.
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(Joining Ateez)
Awkwardly shuffling on your feet, you eyes darting everywhere as you wait. A few weird glances were thrown at you. Did you wear something bad? Just converse, baggy jeans, and a light blue hoodie, a beanie also fit snug on your head.
You haven't felt this nervous since...since Chan brought you to meet the other boys he picked.
"Mn?" Looking to your left, you were expecting your new manager but instead were met with Hongjoong. "O-Oh, h-hi. I thought...I'm sorry." "It's okay. He ended up having to take care of something but I hope it's okay that I'm here instead to help you." "Of course it's okay, I-I'm just...a bit nervous. I...I haven't felt this way in a while." You kept it simple, didn't want to give too much information.
"Real quick, um, I wasn't told anything. Was just told that you'd be in the lobby." "I'm debuting aga- debuting with a group called Ateez, i think that's the name." "Yeah, it is! I'm the leader. Come on, I can introduce you to the others." "Wait, um, the last group I was in...well, they began excluding me, actually. Y-You seem really nice I just might take awhile to adjust." "That's okay." He smiled at you, it was so nice and genuine that you couldn't help but smile back and continue walking.
Meeting them was awkward and your aura must've been unwelcoming as Hongjoong introduced you, you could see the others were unsure but Hongjoong rested a hand gently on your arm and gave a little nod. You relax, exhaling slowly after taking a deep breath. "Sorry...I-I didn't mean to make any of you uncomfortable. I just left a...bad environment and I'm still adjusting. I'm really sorry." You bow deeply before standing up again.
"Let's do some ice breakers, yeah?" Hongjoong suggested and you nod as the others vocalized.
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(Chan finds out you debuted again.)
He and the boys were crushed that you left. The sunshine twins wouldn't leave your room and Chan had found your cut outs in the trash and taped everything back up.
He was the one to call you the most, second was Jisung. He also texted you, 'Mn-ie <3' staring back at him every time he does. How could he never realize what they were doing to him? How could they not have noticed Mn wasn't included?
He sighs, the disconnected voicemail playing for the umpteenth time and he ends the attempted call. As per usual, he goes to any social media app in order to see if anything about you has been posted.
After months of finding nothing, he finally came upon a picture of you, a solo photo of yourself surrounded by a few blurbs and reading over it Chan noticed it was little details about yourself. Name, birthday, age, favorite hobby. It was a 'get to know me' photo. Swiping to the next photo, it was you in the middle of a group of boys, they were doing jazz hands around you as you smiled sheepishly. Reading the caption was like a knife twisted in his chest, he had found a group. What hurts Chan is how much happier he looks, he use to be that happy with them but they pushed him away, he doesn't even know why they did.
"Hyung? What's wrong?" He looks up to see Changbin in front of him. He lifts his phone lazily and the younger sighs. "You know calling him is futile." "No, not that..." He reaches out, handing his phone to Changbin who takes it, a moment later he's sitting on Chan's bed with a sigh and setting the phone down. "H-How could we have been so...blind? Why...Why did we push him away? That wasn't fair to him." "I ask myself the same thing, Bin." "Do you want to tell the others?" "Maybe. I know they've been trying to get updates out of manager-nim about Mn but...yeah, no, let's tell them."
Later that day, Chan told the rest of them about Mn and some were upset but some others were glad that after what they did to him, at least he found a better environment. All of them were beating themselves up. They all agreed that what they did was wrong but now...they can't get him back.
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(Growing closer to Seonghwa)
You remember it clearly, the moment where Seonghwa gave you the same comfort someone else use to give.
It had been a year since you had joined Ateez, you felt so much more happy, less of a burden and more of an actual member of a group. All of them were protective over you after learning more about you. They would say you're a precious soul that needs protected at all costs.
All costs...even if it risks their safety.
You were walking with them through an airport, attached to Wooyoung the whole time but he didn't mind. Readjusting your jacket, you notice a lack of weight in your pocket and turn around, noticing your wallet now a few steps from where you just came from. You must've missed your pocket after putting something back.
You say a quick 'wait' to the boys around you and you jog over to your wallet, picking it up but another hand grabs it then suddenly a butterfly knife is pointed at you. "Woah-" "Why do you leave?!" A sasaeng, you just stared at her, you literally panic and every possible thought you could've had left as she advanced.
It felt like ages but it was really five seconds that so much unfolded. She lunged forward, blade catching your cheek at the same time Seonghwa was the first to reach you and pull you away. Security restraining the girl and taking your wallet from her.
Seonghwa walked backwards, taking you away from her as his arms squeezed around you when he heard you let out a small cry. One hand moves to the back of your neck, keeping you in the crook of his neck as he watches them take the girl away, hand squeezing your nape slightly before brushing through your hair, soothing you and helping you calm down.
Hongjoong was next to you guys shortly after Seonghwa grabbed you. "Shh, it's okay, Mn. She's gone." He whispered before reaching under the older males chin and thumbing at your cheek under the shallow cut. "Oh, Mn." He backs away, it wasn't deep, no blood, but it still looked bad.
"Come on, Mnie." You couldn't help but finally move your arms and hug Seonghwa tightly. You haven't heard that nickname in ages and hearing it from someone who sees you, it comforted you so much that you couldn't help the new wave of tears that fell but quickly pulled back and wiped under your eye as the tears stung the cut. Seonghwa's hand replaces yours, helping you wipe your tears and while you feel appreciated and cared for, Seonghwa is fighting himself internally as he found you the sweetest thing ever and officially doesn't like seeing you cry.
"I like Mn-ie..." "You do? Then I'll keep using it. That okay?" You nod softly, finally smiling at Seonghwa. He giggles softly, ruffling up your hair gently before giving a small head pat and guiding you away with Hongjoong on your other side.
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(You plague Chan's feed)
Two years since learning about your re-debut, he's seen you everywhere.
Clips of your fan cams, pictures of your outfits, screenshots fans have taken from videos. He didn't stop himself from watching the videos or looking a photos for a moment longer than needed.
He refreshed the twitter feed and the top tweet was an Ateez Update fan page. Even fan pages are plaguing his feed.
There was a link, posted 20 minutes ago.
'Nn live featuring Seonghwa and Wooyoung'
He opened the link and it took him to the live. It looked like you were in your bed, knees pulled up as you talked to Wooyoung about something but all he could pay attention to was your looks. He still finds you adorable. He can't help but sit up in his bed, pulling his knees up as well and taking his pillow to hug as he watched you. You looked...happy. The familiar sting began in his eyes as you leaned back into Wooyoung, the boy wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you back as Seonghwa started to tell a story.
He thought you two were cute together but a soft gasp and his lips part when you stare at the other male across from you. That glint, that shine. He knows that look and he chokes out a sob. You can't be gone. You still love him, right? You haven't moved on just yet, right?
He leaves his phone at his feet as he leans back, regret eating at him as he cries into his pillow. Minho came in moments later and saw Chan asleep but his phone still playing. He picked up the phone, sighing softly when he sees your face and your smile before turning it off and putting it to the side, moving to cover his hyung up and he leaves with one more look to Chan before he's out the door.
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(The award ceremony, Chan POV then it switches to your POV)
Watching you kiss Seonghwa was like getting the air punched out of him with a bus.
The choked sob he let out was pathetic but he didn't care. He saw someone he loved disappear from right in front of him all over again. How could he take you for granted? If he just noticed the neglect sooner, you'd still be there with him, with the boys.
A hand is placed on his shoulder, he looks over to see Felix who sighs. "Chan..." He sniffs but it's futile as another sob escapes him and he just lets the tears fall. "A-After this long I-I still m-miss him. I-I still thought I c-could get him back..." Felix pulls him into a hug, letting him crying into his shoulder for a moment.
"Hyung...it's been seven years..." "Don't you think I know that?!" He snapped quietly but still let Felix attempt to fix his makeup. "I-I know...that it's b-been seven years...b-but he was...he was my f-first boyfriend, I loved him and it's hurting me because I still regret not seeing the neglect sooner. How could I, his fucking leader, not realize he was missing from practices or meetings. How could I be so blind?" "Hyung, we're at fault too." "Yeah, but I'm the main one that should've seen it. I-I'm the...the leader, I...I should've seen it..." His voice gradually became a whisper.
"Channie-Hyung..." Inhaling softly, he lifts his head, spinning around to come face to face with you and Seonghwa.
(POV Change)
As Seonghwa led you back, you realized that you just walked away. You didn't acknowledge them, you didn't wave back but do you have to? Last you checked, they didn't care about you but you still stopped in your tracks, zoned out for a moment as the male holding your hand tried to bring you back.
"Hey, Mn-ie, come back to me. You okay?" "Stray Kids is who hurt me...Th-They were the ones to- to shove me away and ignore me and neglect me." "Oh, Mn..." "I-I'm sorry I didn't t-tell any of you sooner, I just-" You bit your lip, willing yourself to not cry but seeing them after so long seemed to have brought the pain back. You could see the hope in Chan's eyes before you turned away and you found it unbelievable because even he was neglecting you but you also...felt bad?
"Hey, don't cry, it's okay." "I-I don't know why I feel guilty, Hwa. I-I shouldn't be feeling guilty and yet..." You take a deep breath, wiping your tears away carefully. "Maybe you should forgive them?" "Why should I do that? I was chosen to be in this group but then they were pushing me away and forgetting me. What was the point of adding me if I was to be forgotten?" "Mn-ie, they regret it. I could see it on their faces as I came to get you and they called out for you. They want you back, at least as a friend."
"But they-" "Mn...You know what else I can see?" "What?" You sniff. "You want your friends back." Seonghwa smiled at you gently, he knows you miss them deep down and thinking about it, you're still hurt from what they did to you but you do want them back. "Come on, Mn. You miss them and they've been missing you. I just know it."
With a sigh, you nod and Seonghwa takes you back to them. When you get there, you see Chan in Felix's arms. "I...I should've seen it..." You hear him mutter, stepping closer, the other boys have seen you returned and you speak up. "Channie-Hyung..." He turns towards you, staring at you, stunned that you came back and you have tear stains on your cheek.
You glance at Seonghwa who nods gently which just barely convinced you to step closer to the others. They watch your every step, waiting for what you're gonna do or say.
Smiling awkwardly, you reach out your hand, gesturing to Chan when all he did was stare at it before he took it. You pull him towards you, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. A small gasp leaves Chan as he stands there, arms hesitating around you and you laugh. "You can hug back, you know?" It was instant, his arms tight around you and his face buried in your shoulder. "We're sorry, Mn...I-I'm sorry." He cried and you rub his back.
"Hyung?" You look over to Felix on your left. He's as tall as you now and he looks even more precious, if that's even possible. "C'mere." You extend the arm around Chan's back out to him and he hugs you as well.
When Felix and Chan finally pull away, another member is suddenly wrapping his arms around your middle. Looking down, you laugh softly while wrapping your arms around Jisung. You also hug Hyunjin and Jeongin.
"We really are sorry, Mn." "I know...but what you did wasn't nice..." They nod, lowering their heads. "but I think after this long...I can sort of forgive you..." They looked like a deer in headlights making you giggle. "We can be friends again. I miss you guys." They smile, Felix hugs you again before stepping back and you turn to Chan.
You take a look towards Seonghwa and he nods. You don't even have to say anything and it honestly shocks you how well he can read you.
"Channie?" He looks up, his hands wringing together. You think you've never seen him looking so nervous. "Come here." He steps up to you and you take his hands into yours. "I know that I left abruptly...and didn't talk to you before leaving but you know why, correct?" He nods his head, his eyes still downcast. "I can see that you had some hope but I'm with Seonghwa..." He nods again and you can see tears welling up in his eyes again. " We can be friends though..." You smile. "Is that okay?" His eyes finally meet yours, smiling a bit. "Yeah, th-that's fine. I-I did have hope but honestly the most I wanted was just to have you back with us. I-It felt so...weird without you even after so long. I missed you...but I'm really glad you found someone else...we were terrible to you- I was terrible to you."
"Channie, your rambling." "S-sorry." He laughs before gasping and staring at you, glancing to Seonghwa then back at you. You kissed his cheek but the look in your eye was forgiving and he hugged you again. "But do anything dumb like that again and I'm gone." They knew you were half joking, there was a smile on your face and they laughed.
"Hyung, we gotta go fix your make up before going on stage." "Right, sorry for keeping you for so long." "You're fine, Mn. It's good to have you back." "You can't take me away though, you'd have to fight him and Wooyoung." "What do you mean?" Hyunjin asks and all you do is wink before stepping back to Seonghwa and leaving for your table again. "See you guys later."
There's still apart of you that never wanted to do that but Seonghwa made a point later that what you did was a good thing. You've had a grudge for seven years and he saw how regretful they looked. You agreed that it was time to let it go only with some hesitance.
But you realized in the passing days that they made up for it. If you had similar off days they would invite you out, they talked to you more whether it be nonsense or what they did that week. Jisung and Wooyoung jokingly fought for you. Han has made a couple comments about stealing you from Ateez and the fans found the joke fighting adorable.
When Stay noticed that the boys looked happier, lighter, of course the detective Stays did their digging and the most they found was a few pictures of you with a couple of the boys you've posted either at public events or pictures you've taken during outings you've had with the boys.
It doesn't matter though, all they care about is that you've seemed to have made up with Stray Kids --even though all they knew about your departure was that it was mental health issues-- and they're happy to see you with them again.
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sluttysturn · 26 days
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˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁ 𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖠 𝖥𝖫𝖨𝖱𝖳˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁ 𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁
pairing: bsf/dealer!chris x bsf/buyer!reader
in which chris is your best friend and dealer, but he has a crush on you and isn’t afraid to show it.
TW: smoking, kissing, swearing, idk what else
requested?: yes! by @sturniolotrophywife (it won’t let me tag you but if you see this, here ya go!)
notes: (color of who’s speaking: chris | y/n)
a/n: i rly rly liked this idea!! i hope you guys did too!! if you do like this be sure to follow/ reblog and leave requests!! love youuuu!
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁ 𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁
i was currently sitting in bed bored as hell. i wouldn’t mind being high right now. actually i really wanna be.
so much is going on and i wanna get my mind off of everything.
i hit up my dealer, which is also my best friend, chris. sometimes, he wants to be a dick and tell me no and that he doesn’t want me doing it. but i know he just wants what’s best for me.
i texted him anyways, hoping he’d say yes, and maybe even smoke with me.
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thank god.
i waited for about 20 minutes when i heard a knock at my door.
finally.
i headed down stairs and opened the door to see chris standing on the other side.
the way his hair fell perfectly against his forehead, the way his hoodie fit perfectly around his body, the way his eyes sparkled while looking into mine.
no stop he’s my best friend.
“hi pretty girl” chris said winking at my with a goofy smile.
i rolled my eyes and laughed lightly, “you know you have a key right?”
“i left it home since you insisted i get here fast”
he rolled his eyes and he handed me the blunt.
“thanks. how much do you need?”
“don’t worry about it.”
“no chris. how much?”
“i’m not taking your money y/n.”
“whatever- come smoke with me?” i paused, “unless you gotta go to other people.”
“they can wait. sure.”
“ok cmon.”
i grabbed his hand and took him upstairs. i was happy he wanted to smoke with me. i loved hanging out with him.
i open my bedroom window and we crawled out and onto the roof.
my house had a roof connected to my window, so it was an easy spot to smoke so my room didn’t reek of weed.
we sat down next to each other.
“y/n, you know i hate when you smoke right?”
“yeah but why?”
“because i actually care about you and i don’t want you to end up like me.”
“i’m fine chris. i just need a break from life, you know?”
he put his arm around my shoulder and rested his head on top of mine.
“yeah i get that.. im sorry you feel that way,” he paused, “but you know you can always talk to me, right?”
“you know i don’t like talking about my problems, but, i know.”
i unwrapped the blunt and took it out. i pulled out my lighter and rolled my thumb against the metal thingy (i don’t know what it’s called).
i grazed the bottom of the blunt with the fire and took a drag of it.
i inhaled the smoke, and exhaled passing it to chris.
we talked and smoke for around 30 minutes before the blunt was gone.
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
“fuck, i needed this” i said with droopy, red eyes.
i looked over at chris, he was so pretty. being high always made him look even more attractive.
chris looked back over at me. little did i know he was thinking the same thing. he smile at me and grabbed my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine.
“y/n can i tell you something?”
“go for it.”
he took a deep breath before speaking again.
“i love you. like really fucking love you. i know its kinda crazy b’cause we’ve been best friends for so long, but im truly in love with you. that’s why i don’t like when you smoke. i don’t want you to be a crack head, like me.”
i was speechless. my best friend of almost 18 years was in love with me?
that handsome man. in love with someone like me?
“chris your not a crack head. you still care about people and you don’t make being high your entire personality. and, i love you too. i really fucking love you too.”
i looked into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled.
he smile back and leaned his face close to mine, but stopped before his lips connected with mine.
“can i kiss you?”
(CONSENTT IS KEYY)
“please”
he finally connect his lips with mine.
our lips were moving in a rhythm and harmony. he was such a good kisser. holy shit.
being high really increased the way i felt like i was sinking into him. it felt as if our body were actually morphing into one.
he pulled away soon after and began to speak.
“y/n y/l/n, will you please give me the honor of being your boyfriend.”
“yes chris.”
he pecked my lips once more.
“also i will be asking you again when we’re sober, so it’ll be more real, you know?”
“thank you, i love you chris.”
“i love you y/n.”
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁ 𖥔 ݁˖ ౨ৎ ˖ ݁
a/n: I KINDA LOVE DEALER!CHRIS. BUT ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS, AND IF YOU DID PLEASE FOLLOW/ REBLOG AND REQUESTTTT!! LOVE YOUUUU!!
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thehusbandoden · 5 months
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"Imoto" -Inlove!Bakugo Katsuki x Oblivious!Reader
A/n: hope this doesn't suck lol, I was exhausted while writing this.
General info:
Genre: pure angst (with an alt ending) \\ wc: 400+ \\ female reader \\ posted: 04/08/24
Summary:
Bakugo, your best friend, helps you score the boy you've been crushing on.. little do you know that he's tearing his heart apart in the process.
Tags: @lemon-lav
Warnings!: pure angst, unreciprocated love, jealousy, anger, hatred, Bakugo loves reader, reader is unaware, reader loves Izuku, reader thinks of Bakugo as an older brother, Bakugo stays quiet and pretends. Idk what else, pls let me know if I miss any. <33
Onii-san: older brother; imoto: little sister
Alt. Ending
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“Are you sure this is going to work?” You whisper nervously, staring at the green-haired boy in the next room. He was talking to Shoto, smiling shyly as he rambled about some new pro hero.  
“Of course it will, now go.” Bakugo grunted, gently pushing you forward. You glance back at him hesitantly. He gives you a small smile, giving you the courage to proceed. You take a deep breath before walking into the next room.  
You feel Bakugo’s crimson eyes boring into your back as you walk over to your childhood crush, Midoriya Izuku. Shoto’s mismatched eyes see your approaching form, opening his mouth to speak, he’s pulled away by Mina before he can say anything, too oblivious to realize what’s happening.  
Izuku turns around to see you walking over, his emerald eyes lighting up at the sight as a rosy blush invades his cheeks. “O-oh y/n san!”  
~~ 
Bakugo’s pov:  
Bakguo scoffed as he watched the two of you converse, jealousy burning in his chest as he watched you flush from Deku’s honey-covered, idiotic, and pointless words. Bakugo couldn’t help but feel a burning sense of hatred, jealousy, and hurt as he watched you succeed, knowing he lost his chance.  
He wanted to kick and scream, to throw a fit that he had lost the one that had meant the world to him, he wanted to show you how better he was- how much he cared. He wanted to go over there and show you and that idiotic nerd how he would treat you like a queen- his queen.  
But he didn’t- couldn’t. Deku is what would make you happy. Deku is who you wanted- who you pined for. So, he stayed quiet, watching your eyes light up with joy as you hit it off with the boy he despised the most.  
A large smile on your face appears, and he knows he’s lost. After a few moments you start walking back to him, causing him to straighten his posture and put on a fake smile.
As you reach him, he reaches down to put a hand on your shoulder. “You got him?” 
You nodded in excitement, your eyes shining as you looked up at him. “He’s taking me out to dinner this weekend. Thank you so much, onii-san!”  
Your words tear apart his heart. Onii-san? You thought of him as an older brother..
“Don’t mention it, imoto..” He scoffed, ruffling your hair. He’ll just have to pretend. For you.
~~~~~
Alt. Ending
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