#Idk I've had thoughts about this for years now

[tranquilreign]

hi! i dont know if ure accepting request atm, but its something thats been on my mind, so i wanna let it out

how abt tae and reader, who promised each other that they will marry each other at 28 when they were kids, and now they're 28, def single, and im thinking of idiots who dont realize they're feelings with each other even their own feelings until this topic comes out one day, and boom, idk, do ur magic

sorry if this was too specific, and thank u in advance!! sorry for my bad english, i've gone through ur masterlist and its so so good!! hope u have a good day, today, tomorrow, and for more days to come 🫶🏻 love yaa 🤍

when we're twenty-eight | requested oneshot

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

pairing; taehyung/reader genre: fluff, childhood friends to lovers au! warnings: swearing, self-doubt, slight pining word count: 2.2k synopsis: you and taehyung promised each other that you would get married at twenty-eight if you were still single. well, you're both now twenty-eight and single. the only thing is, you claim you’ve both forgotten, but feelings are still there.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You had begun to lose hope in your capabilities of the progression of your life when the first couple in your friend group announced their marriage, at the right age of nineteen. And you weren't the only one. You had a large friend group that always planned to go out to karaoke or Korean barbeque.

The friend group had originally started with you and your childhood best friend, Taehyung. It expanded over time due to the friends you made in your separate classes in high school. Even in college, a surprisingly large number of you ended up there, having sadly lost touch with the ones who separated from you.

But now here you were, twenty-eight years old, sitting on the couch at one of your friends' houses, who were celebrating the future arrival of their third baby.

Taehyung sat next to you, bouncing his leg to the beat of the music, arm slung over the back of the couch casually. You were leaning against him, lost in your own thoughts of how you had progressed in life.

"You're doing it again," Taehyung's deep, silk-like voice whispered into your ear, his hot breath fanning against your neck.

You hummed, not having heard what he said. You absentmindedly played with a strand of your hair, letting it curl and fall through your fingertips.

A sharp poke to your side makes you jump. You turned to glare at your best friend, who held your gaze. His chocolate eyes held mischief, stoic expression forming into a smug look.

"What was that for?" you pouted, rubbing your side.

Taehyung tilted his head, a single eyebrow raised. His dark hair fell over his eyes with his movement, which you casually pushed out of the way with your fingers.

"You weren't listening to me," he responded.

His arm moved from the back of the couch to your shoulder, pulling you in closer. His breathing was steady, and both of you looked at one another in silence. Taehyung moved forward, his nose pressing against your forehead.

"You can't keep comparing your life to our friends."

Taehyung could always read you. He knew everything about you, when you were unhappy or nervous. He was quick to be by your side, comforting you or supporting you with whatever decision was made.

"It's hard not to when everyone is getting married or having their, like twentieth kid," you whined, pulling away from him.

Taehyung hummed at your saddened expression, patting you on the head soothingly. Pulling you back into him, he gave you a tight squeeze, rocking both of you back and forward.

"Ew. Can you two stop being so gross?"

You both turned, looking at Jungkook. He looked at you with distaste, pretending to gag at your cuddling. You shifted out of Taehyung's arms and smacked the younger boy on the back of the head.

"Ow! What the hell!" he pouted.

Taehyung chuckled, sitting up in his seat and leaning forward to look at his friend.

"You're just jealous you don't have a friendship like me and Y/n," Taehyung taunted playfully. Jungkook snorted.

"The only thing I'm jealous about is that you get to feel Y/n's breasts-"

"Okay! That's enough," Seokjin interjected, placing his hand over Jungkook's face and pushing him away so he lay back on the couch. Jungkook struggled against Seokjin's grip, eventually pushing his hand away, exhaling dramatically.

"I could have died, Seokjin!" Jungkook scowled.

"Please, if anything, you're nose is slightly flatter now," Seokjin waved him off.

The older man's gaze shifted to you and Taehyung, both of you stifling your laughs.

"Kook does have a point, though," Seokjin continued, stopping your laughter. "His implication of 'can you two stop being so gross' means stop acting like a cute couple."

You choked on your own saliva at his comment, coughing loudly, hunching over. Taehyung rubbed your back, patting it every now and then to help.

"Excuse me?" you coughed out, looking between the two men.

"You guys act more like a couple than most of the couples in our group," Jungkook pointed out, raising his eyebrows.

"Which brings me to my second point. Didn't you guys say when you were kids, you'd agree to marry if you were both single by twenty-eight?" Seokjin questioned.

"I completely forgot about that," Taehyung mumbled.

"Yeah, me too," you confessed.

Though it was a lie. Both of you remembered, too scared to bring it up. You had pinky swore that you would marry one another at twenty-eight if you hadn't found someone else.

Neither of you realised, though, that you had been holding out for each other the whole time.

You couldn't think of anyone else you'd rather spend your life with than your best friend. He was there for you whenever you needed him, and when you fought, you would both admit your mistakes and make up.

You didn't know you had developed feelings for him until recently. Thinking that the butterflies that danced in your stomach when he'd show up unannounced, holding pizza and soft drinks, were normal. Something that just happened between friends who loved each other so dearly.

Or how he would hold you when you cried, often doubting yourself and feeling as though you were falling behind in life, in comparison to the rest of your friends.

Taehyung thought differently. Ever since you were kids, Taehyung knew he didn't want anyone else. All the late nights, calling, cuddling up to one another during movie marathons, and lying on the couch together in silence. It was peaceful. It was something Taehyung yearned for.

He wanted nothing more than to always be by your side. Waking up with you next to him, the sun rays shining through the cracks in the blinds and hitting your radiant skin. He couldn't help but let his mind wander to a future he could have with you. Yet, not knowing how you felt, he would never bring it up, scared he would drive you away.

"Well, looks like we're getting married, Tae," you beamed looking over your shoulder to him, eyes shining with excitement.

Taehyung's heart fluttered at the nickname. He had heard it a thousand times from his friends. But with you, it was always different. Your voice was always angelic to him, his name sounding perfect when it fell from your lips.

"It seems so, but at least let me propose properly," Taehyung teased.

You hummed, nodding in approval at his request. In that moment, Taehyung understood that when he proposed, he would finally confess his feelings. After all the years of yearning for you, he was determined to express himself. He wanted you to know that this marriage held significance for him, even if it didn’t mean the same for you. That was a promise he made to himself.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Taehyung stood at your door, holding flowers for you, and in his pocket sat a small box, encasing a silver ring. He had dressed up for the occasion, palms sweaty as he waited for you to open the door.

You swung the door open, smiling brightly at your friend. He was wearing a beige suit, with the jacket slung over his right shoulder. He held a beautiful arrangement of lilacs and primroses, smiling shyly.

"Hi," you breathed, opening the door further.

You wore a simple sage dress, which stopped at your ankles. Cream open-toe heels complemented the dress, simple yet beautiful. Taehyung entered, handing you the flowers as he passed.

"Hey," he attempted to sound casual.

"Look at you," you teased, playing with his brown tie. "You tidy up nicely."

"Not too bad yourself," Taehyung shot back.

You pouted, but giggled. Moving into your kitchen, you had a vase prepared on the countertop. Removing the string that held the flowers together, you carefully placed each stem into the cool water one at a time, being careful not to ruin the display.

Taehyung waited, his heart racing, thinking of every possible way this could go. What if he confesses and you decide that marrying him is a bad idea? Or that you'll laugh at him.

The sweat in his palms worsened, and he ran his hand through his hair as his nerves increased. You returned at that moment, vase in hand. You placed it down onto the coffee table, beaming at him.

Taehyung's heart melted at the sight of you. You were simply breathtaking. Your smile, your eyes, everything about you was perfect. He coughed, then proceeded to pull his trouser leg up slightly and get down on one knee.

You played along, feigning a gasp. You laughed, watching as he took your hands in his. Taehyung's face suddenly became serious, which you took notice of immediately.

Your expression softened, and you gently ran your hand through his hair comfortingly. You had no clue what had suddenly made him so serious; it confused you.

"We don't need to do the big theatrics, Tae," you soothed.

"I want to. I need to," Taehyung breathed.

You stood, waiting for him to continue.

"Y/n. I understand that if I say this, it could quite possibly ruin our friendship forever. But I know if I don't do this, I will never forgive myself."

You grew worried at his words, quickly wanting to speak, but Taehyung held his hand up.

"Please. Just let me say what I need to say, then you can decide from there."

Taehyung paused, trying to calm his breathing. But he knew if he didn't speak now, he never would.

"Y/n, I have known you since we were five years old. Our friendship has meant everything to me, and it still means just as much. But I must confess..."

You waited, but he didn't say anything. Kneeling down to his height, you lifted his head so he would look at you. Tears ran down his face, making your heart break. You caressed his cheeks, wiping his tears away and giving him a reassuring smile. Taehyung let out a shaky breath.

"I have loved you from the day we first met. I knew I didn't want anyone but you to be by my side, to be my forever."

You moved to sit down cross-legged, stunned. You watched him with wide eyes as he sniffled, before continuing.

"When we made this deal, to marry if we were both still single, I made sure I wouldn't be with anyone, because waiting for you, no matter how long... I know it will be worth every second of the future we would have together."

You began to cry at his confession. You couldn't understand how it had taken you so long to realise his feelings. You felt guilty for having made him wait all these years, so that the only time he felt as if he could properly confess was during a deal you made when you were five.

"I want nothing more than for you to be happy, Y/n. And I want to be the man in your life who provides you with that happiness. I want to be able to hold you when you're sad. Kiss you when you need reassurance. You are all I want, and all I could ever want, no one else but you."

Taehyung felt as if he could finally breathe, eyes downcast to the floor. He did not dare look at you, scared of your reaction. Silently, you wiped away your tears and stood up. He sighed, knowing he had now ruined everything.

"Well, are you going to propose or not?"

Taehyung looked up at you, shock evident. Your eyes were glassy with tears, but you smiled. He mimicked your expression, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small black velvet box.

"Y/n. Will you do the honour of being my wife?"

"Fucking hell, yes," you choked out.

Taehyung stood pulling you in to him by the waist, not wasting a moment to press his lips against yours. It was soft and gentle, but it had so much love and passion.

You both laughed into the kiss, tears still continuing to roll down as you embraced each other. Pulling away, you rested your head against him. He hummed lightly, the vibrations in his chest relaxing you.

"I love you, too, Tae. I always have," you confessed.

"Well, now we must feel really stupid having waited twenty-three years," Taehyung joked.

You laughed, looking up into his eyes, which held so much love.

"It's alright, we'll have plenty of time to make up for those lost years."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

ahhhh!! thank you so much for requesting this! I felt if I wrote too much about their obliviousness, it would begin to be a bit familiar to the jungkook one I wrote.

i really hope you enjoyed and I also hope this is along the lines that you were looking for! I did want to make this a little shorter as I tend to go off rambling! so I do hope this has been to your liking!!

and honey, please don't apologise for your english, it's perfect! better than me I must say, I can barely function as it is haha <3

i do also want to apologise for not uploading over the weekend, I was away at a wedding so I was away from my pc!

if you've made it this far please take a look at my other works. or you're interested in making a request please look at the links below!

masterlist | requests | request rules | prompt list

tranquilreign~

[i-luv-sturntriplets-and-snc]

Losing your virginity [ Matt Sturniolo bf] ( I tried ,this is my first ever writing)

warnings : pnv (unprotected), blowjob, pet names, kissing, smut, losing virginity for both sides, fingering, getting caught

wc : uhh. ... idk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Matt have been together for about 2 years. You guys both are still virgins and have talked about having sex, when its the right time. Today you were hanging out at his house and couldn't stop thinking about it, you wanted to ask but you weren't sure what he was going to say. But you took that risk anyway.

You look up from your phone, looking at him as he sits next to you, his phone in one hand, his other hand resting on your thigh.

"Hey baby", you say as you put your phone down next to you.

"Hm?", he hums, looking at you, his crystal blue eyes looking back into yours.

"I, um, I've been thinking... about you and me.", you start, your fingers messing with his, your gaze not meeting his.

"What do you mean", he asks, You could hear the worry in his voice, knowing what he thought you meant.

"It's nothing bad", you say reassuring him before you continue, "I was just thinking... ab-about how we haven't had sex yet", you say, the last part going quieter as you keep your gaze on both your hands.

He looks a little relieved after you said its nothing bad. Then he looks at you with soft eyes, "What about it?", he asks.

"W-well I was thinking that , maybe we could.. have sex.", you say looking at him with your big doe eyes, still playing with his hand.

He raises his eyebrows a little in surprise, " Yeah? You really want to?", he asks as a small smile grows on his lips.

You give a small nod, a warmth spreading lightly on your cheeks.

"Okay, lets do it", he says softly as he leans in, capturing your lips in a gentle liplock.

You kiss him back, your hand slides to the back of his neck, pulling him a little closer.

He lets out the softest, smallest moan into the kiss as he feels your hand on the back of his neck. His hands trail down your body, resting on your waist for a moment before pulling you, putting you onto his lap, your legs on either side of his as you staddle him.

You let out a soft gasp as he pulls you onto is lap, immediately feeling something hard under you. You put your arms around his neck, tilting your head a little to try and deepen the kiss.

He puts his hands cradling your face, his tongue gliding over your bottom lip gently as you deepen the kiss, this tongue seeking entrance to your mouth, to taste you.

You let out a small moan as you feel his tongue. You open your mouth a bit, letting his tongue break through. His tongue darts in, licking the inside of your mouth, gently stroking your tongue with his own, eliciting another small moan from you and a low groan from him.

As he tastes and explores the inside of your mouth, you feel something poking on the inside of your thigh, your breath hitching as you figure out what it was. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺, you think to yourself. Then you decide to try something. As his tongue is still in your mouth, both of you kissing deeply, you gently grind against him, doing it once to give him a moment to process what your doing.

He lets out a low groan, breaking the kiss and looking into your eyes. His eyes glossy, flooded with hunger and need. " I n-need you - I need you to touch me", he says, almost sounding strained. Your breath hitches at his words, not believing that this was actually happening. You give a small nod, scooting back a little onto his thighs, giving you room to undo his jeans. You pull the zipper down and push his jeans down a bit, the outline of his hard cock now visible with only his boxers. You look up at Matt before you put your hand out, palming him through his boxers. His hips buck up from the touch, seeking more friction as he lets out another moan. He pushes his boxers down, releasing his aching cock, it springing up and slapping against his stomach.

You watch as his cock springs out, heat suddenly starting to pool in between your thighs. You let out a small shaky breath, reaching your hand out to his dick. You wrap your hand around the base, breath hitching at the sensation of it. He lets out another low groan, hips bucking up involuntarily again as you wrap your hand around him, his head crashing against the back couch cushions. You start to stoke his cock slowly, looking at his face as you do so, seeing the building pleasure, his chest rising and falling hard and fast.

"f-fuck baby", he moans quietly as you keep your slow, delicious pace.

You look back down to his cock, then back up at him, "c-can I suck you?", you ask softly, pumping your fist a little faster up and down.

He lifts his head to look at you through hooded lids, "only if you want to baby", he says softly, trying to hold back soft moans.

You give a small nod, then you lower your head, your lips wrapping around his tip. He lets out a low groan, his cock twitching at the feeling of your warm mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip slowly, licking his slit as you look up at him, wanting to see his reaction. His head was back, jaw slightly hung open, eyes shut and eyebrows knitted together in pleasure. He lets out a couple low breathy moans as you suck him, your warm mouth engulfing his hard cock.

His hips twitch as he tries not to thrust into your mouth, letting out another low moan. You want to try something you saw once in a porn video, so you do it. Without warning you remove your hand from his length, and you lower your head as much as you can, taking all of him in your mouth until his tip hits the back of your throat. He let out a guttural moan, almost climaxing just from that. You could feel that he was close to cumming, so you speed up your efforts, sucking deeper and using your hand to jerk faster.

He could feel himself about to go over the edge- "mmph-fuck baby, w-wait", he pulls you off. His hands are on your shoulders as he pushes you back up. You give him a worried look, thinking you did something wrong or he didn't like it. He sees the confusion and worry on your face " hey, hey you did nothing wrong sweetheart, its just- I don't want to cum in your hand, I'd rather let go i-in you, if that's okay", he said reassuringly and softly. Your lips spread into a soft smile, nodding your head a little. He smiles as you agree, one of his hands moving to your cheek, cupping it as his thumb softly caresses your skin. He then puts his hands on your waist, gently moving you off his lap, laying you down on the couch.

You look up at him as he climbs on top of you, his lower half still uncovered from previous events. He lowers his face to yours, giving a soft, slow kiss to your lips as his hands rub up and down your sides gently. His tongue softly swipes along your bottom lip, seeking entrance into your mouth. You let in a sharp breath though your nose as you feel his tongue go along your lip. You allow him entry, opening your mouth a bit into the kiss, his tongue darting through. Licking and tasting the insides of your mouth, his tongue rubbing slowly, passionately against yours. You let out a soft and quiet moan at the sensation, lightly swirling your tongue around his. He lets out a low groan, tugging at the hem of your shirt as he pulls away from the kiss, looking at you with pleading eyes. " Can I take this off baby?", he asks, almost breathlessly, voice husky.

You give a slow, hesitant but sure, nod. Once he sees your nod, he's already pulling your shirt over your head, throwing it somewhere on the floor behind him. He takes a moment, memorizing your almost bare torso, your lacy bra the last little piece of clothing until you were half naked. He then leans down, his clothed chest pressing a little on your stomach and he places soft kisses at the tiny sliver of skin peeking out from under your bra. He looks up at you again, your already nodding, knowing what he was going to ask. His hands make their way to the front of the bra, unclipping it, letting it fall away, your breasts free from the lace, your breath hitching lightly as the cold air hits your hardened nubs. He does the same thing to your bra that he did with your shirt, throwing it carelessly behind him. His hands slide up your sides, gently cupping the swell or your breasts. Looking at you for a moment in admiration before leaning down, taking one of your hardened nipples between his lips, giving a soft kisses, sucking ever so slightly as he gently kneads the neglected twin.

He swirls his tongue around the bud, making you arch your back a little, then he switches, lips capturing your other nipple, and his hand kneading the treated one gently. Once he has worked his magic on your breasts, he pops off with a soft pop, gazing down at your breasts, buds glistening with his spit. He leans in, kissing you softly again as his hands travel to the waistband of your jean shorts, working the button and pulling down the zipper. You were already soaked from him orally treating your breasts and you giving him a blowjob..ish. He slips his hand into your shorts, rubbing your clothed clit. "Fuck, your soaked sweetheart", he whispers, letting out a slight moan at the feeling of your wetness.

He starts to slowly rub along your clit through your panties, your body arching slightly at the pressure, feeling so fucking good, better than anything you've ever felt. Your breath starts to pick up, chest rising and falling faster, you subtly grind up into his hand, seeking more. He lets out a low groan, sounding like it was strained as he pushed your panties to the side, mouth practically drooling as he sees your folds, glistening with your arousal. It takes a lot of effort for him to tear his eyes away from your needy pussy, meeting your eyes, " im- I'm gonna f-finger you. is that okay?", he asks softly but strained, like he was trying to hold himself back. You look down his body for a second, seeing his re-hardened cock sprung against his stomach. You look back up at him, nodding "please..", you say softly, need and desperation clear in your voice.

He lets out a low slight growl as his index finger rubs along your folds for a moment before slowly pushing in. You close your eyes at the intrusion, slight pain, quickly turning into pleasure as he starts to slowly pump his finger in and out, going down to his knuckle. You let out soft breathy moans at this new feeling, and after a moment, you feel a second finger, pushing against your entrance, as if asking. You nod to him again, prepairing for the pain that might follow. He slowly pushes in with two fingers, you wince very subtly, the second finger stretching you out a bit more. He pauses for a second, looking at you almost concerned, " Are you okay?", he asks. You nod, "y-yeah, it just, hurts a tiny bit, you can keep going though", you say reassuringly. He nods a little as you give him the go-ahead to keep going, pushing his two fingers in a little more, starting to slowly pump then in and out. The pain is still barely there as it gets shadowed by pleasure.

Your body arches, letting out a soft moan as he slowly pumps both fingers in and out, down to the knuckle. He picks up his pace a little, a small squelching sound eliciting from his fingers fucking your clit. You let out more soft moans, getting higher and a little louder as a knot feeling starts to fill your stomach. He notices the change in pitch of your sweet sounds, he groans lowly, " Baby, are you getting close?", he asks continuing his fast pace. All you could do was nod, letting out another moan, jaw hanging slightly slack and your eyebrows knitted together in pleasure. He continues his pace, groaning lowly as he tries to keep himself together, ultimately failing. "Baby, I n-need t- I need to be in you, please..", he says almost pleadingly. You nod slowly, moaning again as he pumped his fingers in you one last time before pulling them out. Bringing them to his lips, sticking them in his mouth as he sucked your arousal off his fingers, causing a slight moan slip out, loving the taste of your excitement.

After he takes his fingers out of his mouth, he gets on his knees in between your legs, lining himself up with your entrance. " I think its supposed to hurt, but I will go slow, just tell me if you want to stop or if it hurts too much, okay sweetheart?", he says softly. You give him a small nod, knowing you weren't going to want to stop, no matter how much it hurt. Once he sees you nod, he gently grabs your hips, gripping them a little tightly as he starts to push forward. You feel his tip, pressing against your entrance, finally breaking the barrier as he gets the crown through. Your breath hitches slightly, wincing a tiny bit, looking at Matt, nodding to show that he can keep going. Starts pushing in more and more, until he has about an inch in. "Fuck baby, y-your so tight", he says as he grips your hips a little tighter, stopping himself for a moment to let you get used to the stretch and size. You have your eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed, half with pain and half with pleasure. Once you get used to his size you open your eyes, " You can go all the w-way" you say your breath slightly horse, your chest rising and falling fast. He nods, pushing in slowly until he buries himself to the hilt inside of you. Letting out a gutteral groan, you letting out a breathy moans as he starts to move, pulling out all the way, then thrusting back in. His grip on you hips tighten as he picks up his pace, continuing to pull out all the way, and thrusting back home. You let out louder moans, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, jaw slack, eyebrows knitted together and hands squeezing the couch cushions.

"fuck fuck fuck", you chant out breathlessly, letting out moans of pleasure, that knot feeling coming back. "You feel so fucking good baby" Matt says as he continues his relentless rhythm, the sound of your moans, his grunts and groans and skin slapping filling the room. He starts to reach his climax, his movements becoming needy, chasing him own orgasm as yours builds faster and faster. The knot in your stomach growing with each thrust. You both are getting closer and closer to the edge " fuck- Matt, im- 'm gonna cum!", you moan out, " m-me too baby", he says with a grunt. You both are so close to the edge, about to break that last barrier when-

"Matt! Y/N!", Chris calls out from downstairs.

"We're home!" Nick calls out after

"fuck" Matt says startled as he hears footsteps. " they aren't supposed to be home yet" Matt grunts out as you both were denied your orgasms, more worried on the fact that Nick and Chris were coming up the stairs.

Matt pulls out quickly, you whimper at the loss that quickly. Matt getting a blanket nearby, covering both of you, making sure you were completely covered as you were fully naked. Nick and Chris reach the top of the stairs, turning into the living room and seeing you guys.

"Hey, what are you gu-" Chris starts. Stopping mid sentence as he and Nick look in the living room, seeing clothes on the floor and you guys wrapped up to the neck in a blanket.

"Um, we got cold, so we decided to huddle together", Matt says trying to lie.

"Without clothes?", Nick asks

"You know what, I don't want to know, Nick lets go", Chris says, sounding urgent.

You are blushing a deep red. After they leave the room you and Matt sit in silence for a few minutes. Then you both burst out laughing," Fuck that was close." , you say turning to Matt. " Too close", he says back, already looking at you. He leans in, giving you a gentle kiss on the lips.

" You wanna try again later?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: This is my first ever writing so please please please leave any comments or recommendations for what I might've missed or should have added!

taglist:

[edwardallenpoe]

they're your friends, your family, people you meet just once and never see again, people you see so many times but never utter a word to each other, your pets, your house, your favorite blanket, ect.

I think soulmates are real but they r made not found and also they are your friends

[gideonisms]

guy who needs floor time

[asgardian--angels]

things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

[hellyeahsickaf]

Be careful with adrenal supplements it turns out that shit makes you produce adrenaline and my ass got paranoid that I had mad cow disease (I'm a vegetarian) and I almost threw up realizing a bear could fit through my window if he wanted (I live in a major city)

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 26, 2021 4:00 a.m. a balcony, somewhere

time somehow seems to simultaneously slow to a crawl and race beyond the speed of light. grant doesn’t remember when they’d ended up perched like lovebirds at the pinnacle of a staircase, peering out over the night-drenched landscape, but it must have been a while ago. customers have long since stopped streaming in and out of the restaurant on the street below.

he remembers in better detail the stream of their conversation–they’d shifted from food and a strangely peaceful, humorous discussion of kicking the bucket to movies, and at some point, paranormal stories came up along the way.

it’d be hard to forget talking to yunha.

there’s something curiously enrapturing about her, something that had drawn him to her when he first made eye-contact with her.

the look in her eyes, maybe. it’s piercing, like she’s baring right through your skin and into your soul, but not malicious or judgmental. it’s friendly, it’s curious, it’s playful.

the way she speaks, maybe. she’s the most engaged conversationalist he’s ever encountered. everything you say, whether she agrees or disagrees, is met with affirmations and a lot of nodding. yes, yes, of course. i see, i see. i understand. ohhh, wow! really?

she’s unraveling every shard of the puzzle that is his personality and piecing it back together in one whole picture, analyzing it. figuring it out. appreciating it.

or maybe it’s the sweetness that radiates off her. she appears unafraid to smile, instead all too happy to flash those pretty, crooked bunny teeth for the world to see.

“so, i'm going to guess you’re not accidentally good at singing.”

she seems not to mind revealing her own puzzle pieces either, and the more she says about herself, the more fascinated he is with her. with who she is. with what makes her tick.

“i hope it’s not an accident,” yunha replies, laughing, “because shit, then years worth of practice was a waste.”

“time enjoyed is never time wasted.”

the unabashed cringe of the line garners an immediate eye roll, but she still seems to find it funny.

they’ve definitely been sitting here a while. grant straightens his back, fixing his gradually slouching posture, and is is met with an immediate flash of pain, distinct from the chronic dull ache underlying every day of his life, that radiates down every vertebra.

“what got you into music, though?”

yunha’s rosy pink lips purse in thought as she dwells on the question.

“a lot of things. my parents like music. i listened to a lot of different kinds of songs my whole life, first with them, and then later with my friends. i had some time between classes and studying to spend having fun, but i couldn't spend any money, so my friends and i would go to this music store. we walked around and picked random albums to listen to on the headphones. we never bought anything.”

grant nods supportively. “what’s, like, the first album you remember really liking? or albums. you don’t have to pick one.”

“ah! i treasure so many albums. seo taiji and boys IV. i think that’s still my favorite nostalgic album ever. i also remember fondly, um, this girl’s in love with you by aretha franklin. i heard that at the music store, and i was so impressed by her talent. i still am.”

“i'm not a music expert. surprise! i know, i know, i'm sorry to tell you, i did not practice for centuries for that wonderful spice girls performance earlier. no, but seriously, i most often just listen to the same old emo stuff i liked when i was 13. so, unfortunately i don’t know the first album at all, at least not yet, but i do know the second one. you have fantastic taste, that’s a classic.”

despite his ignorance, yunha still smiles from ear to ear. “you should look up the first one! look up, like, seo taiji ‘come back home.’ that’s the most popular song on the album. i don’t wanna bias you, so listen on your own and make your own opinions.”

“wilco. and if you don’t mind me asking, how’d you turn the interest in music into a skill? you are talented, but i know it's very much a skill. it does take a lot of practice to become tangibly good at music.”

“to express myself,” yunha says plainly, “it’s easier to tell your story in art than talking about it, and singing is free. you don’t need supplies to learn it. but yes, i needed that kind of outlet, you know? i always liked singing, always did it, but i needed more than only entertainment from it over time.”

“oh yeah, art is helpful. i really should have gotten on that train earlier. i got on board about a year ago. it's much better for you than intellectualizing everything. or at least that's what i tend to do. do you perform, by the way? outside of karaoke, that is."

"sometimes. but also, not in a long time."

there falls a brief, but peaceful lull in the conversation. grant’s eyes draw to black night sky as he recalls the last haphazard art he’d created–the mushy-gushy attempt at processing the universe. seeing it hanging above him now, his thoughts are no less conflicting. light pollution washes out the shining sea of stars, but the sky still retains its beauty, its bewilderment. visible or not, an infinite chain of dimensions and celestial bodies exist in the vacuum of space, orbiting independent of him, yet factoring in the tiny fraction of his mass on the mass of the earth in their delicate ballerina dance across the fabric of spacetime.

the universe must have created me for some reason, for something other than anguish.

his own words. again. ever-present.

“i miss seeing the stars.” yunha’s buttery soft voice breaks his concentration. “you can’t see anything here.”

“polaris.” grant raises his left arm and draws his index finger across the sky until it hovers above the only star he’s seen thus far. “technically, that means we should be able to see sirius, too, but we don’t need to get all science-y and talk about magnitude and that polaris isn’t–”

“i would like it if you did.”

she was thinking of the stars, too.

synchronicity.

“aw shucks! well. i’ll say this, polaris isn’t the brightest star. we just talk about it way more frequently because it has the most cultural significance in the northern hemisphere for, you know, navigation reasons. but hey, give it about 12,000 more years, and it even won’t be the north star anymore. thank you, wobbly earth axis. but also boo, woobly earth axis, because it's a little sad to think about.”

yunha’s eyes glitter with fascination. “it’ll be something else?”

“yep! the next north star will be vega,” he explains, “come on down, you’re the next contestant!”

“maybe we’ll see it happen.”

“if my consciousness is still floating around as little dust particles, that’d be pretty sick. you know? forget fly me to the moon, fly me to vega. why not?”

“i don’t think i'll be dust,” yunha says, not missing a beat at all, even as her focus remains fixed on the faintest twinkle emanating from polaris, “it’s kind of troubling. you don’t want to be, like, stuck in the whole cycle of the universe, but if you’re still here, you can see some really beautiful things.”

“ah. reincarnation?”

“if you’re asking me, you’re not going to be dust. either you escape the suffering or you come back in some kind of physical form, human or not, and you try again.”

grant thinks about it for a moment. and then the feelings, like usual, spill out at once.

“i'm not going to lie, that idea has always given me the heebie-jeebies. i think it’s very cool as a concept, but i'm, like, man, i don’t want to do this shit again. also, look, we're doing the thing again. oh, and shit, that sounded judgmental. i just run my mouth too much."

"most people don't know they lived before. you can't really remember your other lives without a lot of study," she answers, "and no, you don't. i prefer to hear your real opinion. it's actually stupid when people tell you what they think you want to hear."

"do you ever wonder what you were up to last go-around?"

"not too much, but i always heard strange birthmarks and scars are signs from your last death. fears, too. things you avoid. so, i guess, like, a clown stabbed me in the neck with needles."

"are you afraid of storm drains, by any chance? if so, i think pennywise had it out for you."

"hahaha." yunha shakes her head. "wait, i have to ask. is it not worse thinking you can only live once? that's not uncomfortable? feeling like you have to make everything perfect in your one lifetime?"

"oh no, it's terrifying. dying and just being done with everything is eerie, too, because there are nice things to do and see here in the real world. you’re right about that. and yeah, there is a lot of pressure to get it all right. also, that's not even mentioning that there are people i love that i don’t want to be gone forever. i'd like to think they remain somehow. conscious or not. i kind of think they do, but i don’t know. am i contradicting myself? capital-P probably."

“you don’t know what to think.”

grant immediately bursts out laughing. “yeah, no, absolutely not. i do not know. i just kinda waffle around and hope some scientist throws out some numbers and whatnot that proves some explanation of everything correct. but that’s impossible. it’s literally impossible. we can’t even simulate or predict the wacky physics that were going on at the exact moment the big bang happened.”

“not to be, like, all quirky, but...” yunha reaches over, patting him on the shoulder. “maybe don’t think about it? you’re gonna go crazy. you can just not know? and it's fine. this doesn’t mean anything anyway. the answer to anything is already in you, it’s not out there.”

and then she, too, starts giggling all over again and her cheeks blush deep red from sheepish cringe.

another stereotypical line, but he doesn't mind. they sound better coming from her than him anyhow.

a second later and she checks the time on her phone. her cheesy smile erodes into a slight frown.

“ahh, i really need to leave soon. i have a schedule in the morning.”

grant checks the time as well, drawing the sleeve of his hoodie up just enough to read the minuscule roman numerals on his watch.

on the watch an ex-girlfriend gifted him. not päivi, but...

4:00 a.m.

fuck.

right.

you’re leaving the country in two hours.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 25: Hippopotamus (What The Hell Is It This Time?)

My Hippopotamus rant is here. I love Hippo and I think this was one of the best examples of how putting something off for later can be a very good idea sometimes. So I didn't hear most of it until this summer, and hearing the whole album then was one of the biggest highlights of that time. Thank you modern era Sparks for always bringing us the awesomest music ever.

[thelunadiviner]

i'm thinking about making a pinned post but for now, hiii i've gained enough confidence to write and post said writing so here's a link to my first ever post on AO3 (its a valenwind fic for my fellow VW warriors).

i'd like to use tumblr to connect more with fellow squeenix fans because i lowkey miss having mutuals/people to talk to </3

[pollen]

i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[pardonmydelays]

i also think it's kinda cool how tyler makes me want to learn stuff

[cuppasunu]

got to work with my hyunjae requests right away FEELING KINDA UNWELL (positive)

[robinsnest2111]

oh this will haunt me for a while I fear

[serenhob]

Cpr

In Romance novels I've noticed the Cpr trope a bunch of times (mc/lo perform Cpr on mc/lo and they kiss or indirectly kiss I guess) and its relatively harmless BUT sometimes they will have the character giving Cpr being a professional (think lifeguard or firefighter or whatever) and that's where it loses me.

Life breaths are no longer allowed (except if you're a lifeguard/coastguard but I'll get to that) because of potential diseases from saliva etc. Normally people have this weird tube

Which they shove down the unconscious persons throat to open the airway (unconscious people don't have a gag reglex which is why they can) and then they attach it (or use on its own) this device

Which they fill with air and squeeze the bag on the end to pump air into the persons body (you can't put too much air in the bag or the persons lungs will pop, extra tip if you need to do cpr on a baby you loosely fill your cheeks with air and puff with that cause if you don't you will pop the babies lungs and do chest compressions with two fingers)

The only time anyone would do life breaths depends on two conditions:

They don't have access to this other equipment

The person is directly related to them or are a child

I mentioned life guards were an exception. Life guards can do life breaths but they must be through the nose. Which was really weird pantomiming on the cpr doll.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please 🙏 if your character is a professional don't make then do life breaths.

[matteoberrettini]

the REAL tragedy of having my phone stolen is that i'm gonna have to rebuild my meme folder from scratch 😔😔😔😔