#IT'LL BE FINE THEY SAID
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waking up feeling like a cinder block & having two meetings & at the end of those get a call to find out that I didn't get the apartment because I had to have been employed for 27 more days than I currently have been. I need to put myself into the washing machine on the carpet cycle. forever. goodbye.
#IT'LL BE FINE THEY SAID#at first i didn't get it because they went ahead with another applicant. then they called and said i got it as long as#my credit check was good. which it was. then the deposit. it was fine. then this and *buzzer noise* im out#what a fucking roller coaster#i was so excited for that patio too 😭#oh well. what to do. at least now i can buy a heater and just bunker up and save money until the next unicorn apt with#good rent and location shows up#GAH. ANGER BITING CHAINSAW LOUD NOISES BLOOD SPRAY EXPLOSIONS#TO BE FAIR the employment limit was already very very lenient (its usually 6months and it has to be a diff type of employment but)#everything else was lined up perfectly 😭 not me absolutely sobbing to my agent and her getting choked up too#we will live. but god damnit it hurts to fall flat on the finish line
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He is not authorized to laugh that hard when he knows he would've done exactly the same
#devorak posting#the arcana julian#julian devorak#the arcane game#the arcana apprentice#dr devorak#fanart#ilya devorak#self insert#julian x apprentice#self ship#selfshipers#artists on tumblr#traditional drawing#the arcana memes#rio movie#tell him how you feel they said#it'll be fine they said#burying myself in the sand#the audacity
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That fine relatable moment where you're waiting to leave a physics lab because of flashing lights, but you leave it cuz of possible mercury poisoning
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*holds my arms out defensively* NO NO NO YOU CAN'T- BRAIN PLEASE-
DON'T MAKE ME BRAINROT OVER THE ORIGIN OF META KNIGHT'S MASK TOO!!!!!
#scroll through the captain vul tag they said#it'll be fine they said#:')#i'll never focus on a single project at this rate.....#oh well LOL i'll see what future me will do#quan blovk
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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I'm sorry to all the snowbaz mutuals I have interacting with this, this is actually a farcille dungeon meshi fic. I've truly been possessed this is the most explicit fic I've written by far and I haven't even reached the kinkiest part yet 😔
I am possessed by a demon (have written 3k words of mostly smut today)
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Anyone notice how everything is getting worse?
'I doubt we'll ever have the need for all our abilities'- to 'no holding back'
'We've done well avoiding friendly fire!' To 'we're gonna kill each other'
Welp.
They lost that mentality quickly
I'm grateful for all the fluff and family bonding sprinkled in- because it's getting serious. Stories get more intense as you go yeah? Luckily they are families and heros ready to work forward through anything- but the progression looking back is interesting
Art by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :DD
#'we got this it'll be fine!'#*twilight gets injured*#'KILL THEM ALL DESTROY THE LIZARD AND LEAVE NOTHING LEFT!'#linked universe#linkeduniverse#it kills me that the 'we're gonna kill each other' was said unironically#if I ever look like I think I know everything let me know cause. I don't...#:D#I am excited for whatever's next
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so help me god if I tanked the chance for a well-paid job with full medical benefits, sick leave, paid vacation time, etc. because I hardly ever do machine seam-finishing
I'm going to be. really really really upset
#personal#did a sewing test for a theatrical costuming job at a big local theatre the other day#did my best but I know some of my samples were probably quite wonky because I'm used to finishing seams by hand#and thus having more control to make adjustments as I go#a few I had to look up how to do on my phone- but then the proctor told me I could do that and they do it frequently in the shop#I go back and forth between 'it'll be fine; I probably did fine; they SAID they take all skill levels and that they google how to do things#and 'oh there's no WAY I'm getting this gig'#it was an interesting experience because the shop manager like. stopped me on the street to ask if I made my dress#and then if I would be interested in maybe joining her team#but now I'm like 'are they even going to believe I made the things I sent them pics of'#'or that they saw me wearing [I wore my winter coat to the test because it was V. Cold]'#'after my machine-felling on organza was an uneven disgrace'#I can fit and copy patterns from books and even do a bit of draping#I can do a lot of hand-stitching finishes pretty quickly and evenly#I can do insertion lace and soutache#I've made hats before#but I just. haven't done a lot of machine-finishing#and that's all they tested me on really#also sewing on snaps and one (1) hand-finishing stitch#(one I hardly ever use anyway- catch-stitch/zigzag stitch)#(I fell my hems generally speaking)
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#no more cats (for now)#it was fun while it lasted ;-;#one day it'll hopefully be lucifer's turn and then we'll get stuff like “factory tour day” “do your work day”#“drowning in paperwork day” “stop giving me headaches day” “can you behave for ONCE in your lives day”#“feeling unparalleled guilt day” “get more than 4h of sleep day” “fail to bond with satan day”#“i did NOT lock my brother up in the attic; stop asking day” immediately followed by “commit treason day (it's fine though diavolo said so)#and of course:#“cerberus day 2.0” :)#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me satan
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what if I told you fifteen is actually suicidal? what if I told you his little speech about having felt everything and having experienced everything is the main source of his trauma? what it I told you he feels lost, aimless, thinks he has no purpose? what if I told you he's fucking bored with life? what it I told you he is almost definitely going to start engaging in impulsive thrill seeking behavior just to feel something? and what if I told you that, just like how rose was there to pull nine back from his anger, ruby is there to pull fifteen back from his apathy just by being so alive?
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#our boy is struggling okay#he's riding that toxic positivity train#but it's not going to work for long#btw I don't think this means he didn't actually heal from all the trauma his previous regenerations had#he wasn't lying in the giggle when he said he was fine#it's just that y'know once you process all that trauma#it's kind of hard not to think ''without that what am i left with?''#you kind of have to build up an entire new worldview#and fifteen is trying so hard to do that by acting like he's fine#but eventually it'll catch up to him I promise you
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Wednesday: "... because I wouldn't want to lose her like I did with my pet scorpion"
Thing: *shooketh*
Wednesday: "I am aware that this makes me inherently vulnerable. I accept that as a consequence"
Thing: *signs* "So... do you like Enid?"
Wednesday: "Well, I am not familiar with the intricate details of having affection-"
Thing: *interrupts by signing* "DO YOU LIKE ENID OR NOT?"
Wednesday: *ponders for a quick second* "Yes. I do"
Thing: *about to die from excitement*
#she said it!#she said the thing!#she did it#wednesday confessed#but to thing#now she needs to fess up to enid#omg how is that gonna go#enid might have a heart attack#it'll be fine#thing will be there#thing is awesome#btw#wenclair#wenclair cult#wednesday addams#wednesday#enid sinclair#enid#thing#this is so fun to write#so check out the other posts to know#what's happened so far
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This week I watched Pluto after going into it knowing only that it was about an unknown robot trying to destroy the seven most advanced robots in the world. Having finished it, I wish to say:
I am not okay
What the fuck
Grief is a fundamental part of the human experience and the result of connecting with others. It can't be avoided and even if people had the option to forget about the people they've lost, the majority wouldn't choose losing their memories of them in exchange for losing their grief.
Hatred is a natural component of grief but if someone can't process it they'll be stuck and are likely to chose actions that will create further hatred in others.
Trying to meet someone stuck in hatred with compassion is simultaneously dangerous and necessary for the cycle to end.
Dr. Tenma is a disaster and needs to have an ethics committee stuck to him like one of those parole anklets.
#pluto#astro boy#oh i know this it's just about robots fighting i said#it's just a darker version of astro boy i said#IT'LL BE FINE I SAID#now if you'll excuse me I'll be staring at the wall for the next couple of hours
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you've heard of: aroacespec "is this person flirting with me" confusion, now get ready for: Does this person think I'm flirting with them (and also are they flirting "back" with me) because I accidentally bumped into them a lot?
#new jersey girl seems to really like me that makes me happy#nobody's been attracted to me before#but it'll make me sad if she asks me out#because even though I LOVE her i think i'd have to say no just because i really imagine myself#with a boyfriend far more than a girlfriend lately and i don't want to put her into a relationship that might end up feeling like#misgendering...#aro#ace#aroace#aroacespec#aromantic#arospec#greyromantic#greyro#I said this#we've been walking all over campus together and she's um. not a very considerate walker i keep#almost getting pushed off the path so that's whyh i keep bumping into her lol#but also she seems to like standing/sitting near me?#and i said 'i think my face is a little...' because i was thinking it felt like it got too much sun#and she was like 'i think your face is a little too-- wait what did u say?'#and i said i didn't even use an adjective but said burnt/red was what i should have siad#and she just said 'i think your face is a little'#like is that an oblique compliment??#okay the funniest part is yesterday she said some random girl came up to her and said she looked pretty and she wasn't sure if it was#flirting or just a compliment so she doesn't even know what flirting is either lol#also she calls me Data now bc i told her about hwo my uncle said my parents consult me like picard consults data lol#tbh maybe i gave her the wrong signals by moisturizing when she was in my room last night?#(kept sticking my hand under my clothes. my roommate brought her in right after i showered)#i asked my roommated if that was weird and she thought it was fine but she might not be the best metric
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WIP GAME
rules — list the names/titles of docs in your WIP folder + open your inbox to have people ask about them!
@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat thank you for the tag ari my love !! had to dig very deeply into the files for this... and i'm gonna be so honest i forgot about half of these oops
anyways pls do ask me anything about these bc i need to talk about them and talking about them will make me get inspired to write them :3333
the space between comfort and chaos. (part 5)
wolfhybrid!toji fushiguro x f!reader :: hybrid au, grumpy x sunshine, ongoing series (i'm obligated to put this here even though i think everyone knows about it)
dead reckoning.
geto suguru x f!reader, implied gojo satoru x f!reader :: canon au installment, angst, fluff, pining, unresolved feelings, bittersweet
untitled drabble.
wolfhybrid!toji fushiguro x reader :: hybrid au, in another timeline, how you and wolf!toji would meet if things played out differently, grumpy x sunshine, random thoughts about first meetings
say you'll love me to death, because i will.
vampire!sashisu x reader :: poly!sashisu, vampire x human, mutual pining, fluff, slow burn, lots of blood ??
crawling back to you.
tigerhybrid!ryomen sukuna x reader :: hybrid au, drabble, obssessive behavior, bickering, animalistic tendencies, jealousy, extremely grumpy x sunshine (he's not even grumpy he's just a hater)
ROYALTY AU
dying by your hand.
royal knight!gojo satoru x princess!reader :: royalty au, slow burn, childhood friends to lovers, bodyguard trope, mutual pining, lifelong devotion
angel eyes see the good in devils.
gladiator!toji fushiguro x princess!reader :: royalty au, forbidden romance, grumpy x sunshine
the illusion of a regime.
prince!geto suguru x princess!reader :: royalty au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, arranged marriage
no pressure tags: @vagabond-umlaut @ryomance @pupkashi + anyone else who wants to do this !!
#sigh#yes the last three are all technically the same au but reader's life is different depending on which guy she chooses....#this idea has existed for a LONG time#i was gonna keep it a secret until i posted it but it's fine#like i've said before i have knight satoru's almost done but i put it on the back burner for wolf toji#but as soon as that's done i will be doing the royalty au#i was so excited about it last year#anyways yes#and ofc there is the sugu fic i've been talking about#i hope to finish that soon#also isn't it so funny how i physically cannot write toji in any trope other than grumpy x sunshine#haha....#anyways#tiger kuna only because so many people have asked#it'll just be a short lil thing#and then vamp sashisu has existed for a long time too#also these titles are subject to change bc half of them were untitled until about 30 mins ago#jjk x reader#tag games !!
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just ordered the yarn for the crocheted guerrilla tapestry!!!!!!
#apple lady words#i said i would buy the yarn after i caught up w the temp blanket but i caved 😭 ive been good w catching up tho. it'll be fine
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I have yeeted the teets! Day one post-op has been a bit rough (fuck the drains 💀), but honestly not the worst. I was more dead yesterday after the surgery, and my partner says they've seen me looking worse just on bad days with my chronic illness lol.
Also, gotta say, that post about having a Winnie-the-Pooh bod post-top surgery is so right. None chest with left tummy
#otter said a thing#personal#top surgery#I'm also just marveling at the wonders of modern medicine#i can elect to have a surgery and it's just. fine#like there's still plenty of time for infection or other complications to show up#but if they do they'll be dealt with and it'll still be fine#that's crazy#anyway even though all things told I'm doing pretty well#i still can't wait to be out of the immediate recovery stage#at least until the drains come out#the fluid draining has been pretty minimal so maybe I'll get lucky and they'll be able to come out early 🤞
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