#IS everything in life getting worse and worse

[littelovelunette]

Sticker On Her Forehead

Dim lanterns cast flickering shadows on Sevika's sleeping figure. You were bored, and had been scrolling on your phone for a while.

You held your breath, creeping forward with the stealth of a well-trained rogue—though, to be fair, your mission wasn’t exactly life or death.

It was, however, a matter of pride.

Sevika was asleep, sprawled out in her usual chair. Her breathing was deep and steady, the slow rise and fall of her chest signaling that she was well and truly out cold.

Her mechanic arm hung over the armrest of the chair, chin resting on her flesh hand as she dozed off. Her snores weren't as loud as usual, it was light when she napped but the moment her back hit the bed, she'd be snoring like a bear.

You had never seen her sleep before. You both were in a relatively new relationship, she always seemed too alert, too sharp, like she never truly let her guard down. But now, exhaustion had finally won, and you had the rarest opportunity of all.

In your hand was your secret weapon: a pastel colored sticker of a little pink bunny, ears floppy, eyes big and sparkly. It was obnoxiously cute—exactly the opposite of everything Sevika embodied.

You hesitated for only a moment.

Was this suicidal? Probably.

Would it be worth it? Absolutely.

Carefully, you peeled the back off the sticker, leaning in just enough to place it dead center on her forehead.

Your fingers moved with precision, gently pressing it into place. The contrast was immediate and hilarious—the hardened enforcer of Zaun, the right hand of Silco, now marked with an adorable pastel bunny on her forehead.

A breath of laughter almost escaped you, but you swallowed it down. The mission wasn’t complete yet. You needed to get out before—

Sevika’s nose twitched. Her brows furrowed slightly, but she didn’t wake. You took a slow step back, your pulse hammering in your ears. Another step. Almost there—

Then the metal fingers of her prosthetic twitched, and her organic hand shot out, catching your wrist in a vice-like grip.

Shit.

Her eyelids cracked open, and she exhaled a low, tired groan. “…The hell are you doing?” Her sharp grey eyes scrutinized your expression.

You froze, mind racing for an excuse. Nothing. There was nothing that could justify this.

You giggled nervously.

Her eyes, still heavy with sleep, locked onto yours. And then she frowned. The moment she lifted her hand to rub her forehead, you knew you had mere seconds before—

Pause.

Her fingertips brushed against the sticker. You watched, wide-eyed, as realization dawned in slow motion.

She peeled it off. Looked at it. Blinked.

The silence was suffocating.

And then—

“…You’re dead.”

You bolted.

Laughter burst from your throat as you ran through the house, the sound of a chair scraping violently against the floor signaling that Sevika was up and coming for blood.

You barely made it past the main hall before you heard her boots pounding behind you, her voice a lethal growl.

“You think this is funny?!”

“Yes!” you cackled, dodging around a table.

Sevika was fast. Too fast. It was sheer luck that you managed to duck away before she could grab the back of your shirt.

You swerved happily navigating your way in the house, laughing so hard your stomach hurt.

Then, suddenly, a mechanical arm caught you by the collar and yanked you backward.

Your feet barely touched the ground as Sevika hauled you up with terrifying ease, her face dangerously close to yours.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't break your damn fingers."

You grinned, breathless. "Because then I wouldn’t be able to put more stickers on you?"

Sevika stared. Her grip tightened.

And then—

A long, exasperated sigh.

She dropped you, shaking her head as if questioning every life decision that had led to this moment. “I swear to god, you’re worse than Jinx.”

"That means you love me, right?"

"Shut up."

She turned to leave—but not before slapping the bunny sticker onto your forehead.

"Checkmate."

[00valentina-writes00]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Write a smut where Vi is fucking the reader but the Reader fakes an orgasm but vi dose not find out right then and there. Instead vi finds out when they are hanging out with friends and drinking and playing games where someone asked “have you every faked an orgasm” and than before reader could say anything Vi says “no she hasn’t” like really cocky and then the reader is like actually I have once but it’s because I was really tried and then vi is like shocked but dose not say anything and they keep going for the night. And then when they get home vi is ALL OVER THE READER and says “I’m gonna make up for that one time you faked it. Right now and I’m gonna make you have the best one of your life that you forgot your fucking name.” And she DOSE. She fucking delivered that shit.

♡♥︎ MAKE IT UP TO YOU ♥︎♡

Warnings: smut, strap-on sex, mild dominance, Vi being competitive and cocky, reader getting absolutely wrecked.

It wasn’t like you meant to fake it.

You were just so fucking tired, and Vi had been going at it for a while, doing everything right, touching you just how you liked—but your body wasn’t cooperating.

So you’d made the call.

A little tensing up, a breathy moan, a few shakes for dramatic effect—and Vi had bought it, completely.

You felt a little guilty, but it wasn’t a big deal, right? It was one time.

Or so you thought.

It all fell apart at a game night.

You and Vi were knee-deep in drinks, hanging out with friends, playing one of those truth-or-drink type of games.

Someone read the next question out loud, grinning:

“Have you ever faked an orgasm?”

You didn’t even get the chance to open your mouth before Vi leaned back, smirking, and said, so fucking cocky,

“Nah, she hasn’t.”

Your stomach dropped.

Everyone laughed, teasing her for being so confident, but you just stared at her, your drink suddenly feeling way too strong in your hand.

“Actually…” you said hesitantly.

Vi’s smirk froze.

“I… might’ve, uh… once.”

Vi’s head snapped toward you so fast you thought she might get whiplash.

“What?”

You gave her an apologetic shrug. “I was just really tired, babe.”

The group oohed, making it so much worse, and Vi just sat there, processing, lips slightly parted, eyes wide as hell.

But she didn’t say a word.

Just nodded once, took a slow sip of her drink, and kept the game going like nothing had happened.

Like she wasn’t plotting your fucking demise.

—-

The second you stepped into your apartment, the door barely clicking shut, Vi was on you.

You gasped as your back hit the wall, Vi towering over you, her fingers already gripping your jaw, tilting your face up to hers.

Her voice was low, rough, her breath warm against your lips.

“I’m gonna make up for that one time you faked it,” she murmured, eyes burning into yours.

Your breath hitched.

“I’m gonna make you come so hard you forget your fucking name,” she growled.

And then she delivered.

—

You were on the bed, naked, legs spread, Vi between them, grinding the thick strap against your cunt, the strap glistening with your wetness as she dragged it up and down your folds, teasing you, keeping you on edge.

You whimpered, hips twitching, trying to get more, and Vi just chuckled darkly, hands gripping your thighs, keeping you right where she wanted.

“Needy little thing,” she teased, pressing a slow, deep kiss to your inner thigh.

You gasped when she finally pushed in, the strap stretching you open, the sensation making your back arch off the bed.

“Fuck—”

Vi groaned, gripping your hips tight, keeping you still as she sank deeper, watching your face twist in pleasure.

“That’s it,” she murmured, voice husky. “You feel that, baby?”

You nodded weakly, panting, your nails clawing at the sheets.

Vi smirked, grinding her hips, the strap pressing right against that spot, making your entire body jolt.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “You’re gonna fucking feel this.”

And then she started moving.

It was punishing, her pace relentless, the sound of her hips slapping against you, her strap hitting deep, fucking you open, making you whimper and squirm.

“You faked it, huh?” she growled, voice strained, hands gripping your hips so tight you knew there’d be bruises tomorrow.

You couldn’t even respond, too busy moaning, gasping for air as she fucked you raw, the pleasure overwhelming.

Vi was so fucking smug, watching you, her lips curled into a grin, sweat dripping down her arms.

“Not this time, baby,” she murmured, leaning down, her chest pressing against yours, her lips brushing your ear.

“You’re gonna cum for me for real.”

And then she angled her hips just right—

Your vision went white.

You cried out, back arching, the orgasm ripping through you, your entire body shaking as pleasure exploded through your veins.

Vi groaned, watching you, riding you through it, her thrusts slowing but still deep, milking every last shudder and tremble from your body.

She kissed you softly, murmuring against your lips, “That’s my girl.”

She didn’t stop.

By the time she was done, you were wrecked, boneless, lying there in a dazed, sweaty mess, your body still twitching from overstimulation.

Vi chuckled breathlessly, collapsing beside you, her hand coming up to cup your cheek, tilting your exhausted face toward hers.

“You good?” she murmured, pressing a lazy kiss to your swollen lips.

You could barely speak, could barely even move, your entire body still buzzing from how hard she fucked you.

Vi just grinned, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Yeah,” she murmured, smug as hell. “That one was real.”

[hanniescookie]

is it that hard? - jww

pairing - wonwoo x f! reader

genre - fluff, idol au

warnings - none

summary - you know wonwoo likes you, but for some reason, he doesn't say it. not until you're frustrated enough to play a game on him.

author's note - kekekeke @wonkierideul // this is for you my mochi cheek-ed baby!! i hope you like it 😭 i tried, okay? i just hope it makes you smile at least, you're so dear to me my oomf (pls remind me again what it means) may you fulfill your MUA dream one day and may you get to doll wonu up 🤍 love you sm :)

-------------------------**~~**--------------------------

Being a successful makeup artist had been your dream since you were a teenager. Your love for makeup only grew with your age, and you made yourself proud after finally landing your dream job.

Being Jeon Wonwoo's makeup artist, however, was certainly not your dream. It might be a privilege, never been a dream.

It isn't that you mind seeing his beautiful face every other day while you doll it up with makeup that suits his outfit of the day. Never that. It's just that you're always too distracted to focus on your job. And Wonwoo doesn't help.

It falls out of your realm of professionalism. You've never been someone who struggles with balancing your personal and professional life, but with this man? You're terrible. Miserable.

He is too good looking for his own good, and being so close to his face half the time serves you no good. It takes everything in you to not just kiss his lips everytime you swipe some lipstick across them.

Wonwoo is not very expressive — that's a known fact. But what people might not know is that Wonwoo is a tease, a little close to a flirt. At least towards you, he is.

You hate how he licks his lips right after you're done applying lipstick just to make your job harder. What's worse is that he does it with a straight face, muttering an aplogy within a second like he didn't realize what he just did.

But you have seen it far too much to know that he does these things deliberately. You don't know if he likes seeing the huff of annoyance you let out, or if he just genuinely hates you.

Either way, you've decided that your work ethics have been compromised enough. You don't like these feelings you've harbored for the idol overtime, and if nothing is down the drain, you'll take your shot today.

When Wonwoo arrives on set an hour before his schedule, you're glad that the whole group isn't here. It's his solo schedule for the day — a photoshoot for his brand deal.

The look for today has to be a little bold, and requires more time than usual. So you start slow, focused on work and trying your best to make him look exactly like the concept demands.

And you're also focused on another task today.

"I'm quitting." You say as nonchalantly as you can, dabbing some concealer to hide a tiny acne mark on his skin.

"Huh?" He raises his brows, unsure if you talked to him.

You meet his eyes for a few seconds before focusing back on his cheek, watching the acne mark slowly disappear. You hope your game plan can work, and if it doesn't, then you're really never seeing this place again. "I said I'm quitting this job."

He continues to look at your face while you turn back to the vanity, fumbling through some eyeshadow palettes. Your heart is throbbing at the weight of his gaze, but you keep going. "I'm telling you because I know you don't get used to changes easily. You'll be more prepared when you see another MUA starting tomorrow."

You turn back, meeting his surprised gaze and you smile a little. "Close your eyes."

He takes a little while to process what you said, and you gladly wait till he does. You can see the effect of your game, and you like it so far.

He closes his eyes slowly, exhaling through his nose. It's quiet for a while till you play with a combination of two dark shades on his eyelids.

"Must you leave?"

You almost don't catch it with how quietly he speaks. Keeping the palette away, you stare at his face with his eyes closed, his question echoing in your head. Your heart swells, and a smile forms on your face. "Did you say something?"

He mutters a quiet no without opening his eyes. You know he's doing it because you haven't asked him to open them yet, and involuntarily, you feel a flutter in your chest. Usually, he would open them before you're even done, but right now he's trying to not upset you. How cute.

"I heard you, though." You say again, leaning against the vanity with your arms folded. He slowly opens his eyes, looking at you with eyes full of uncertainty. "Do you have an answer then?"

"Must I leave?" You echo his question, humming thoughtfully. "Good question. The problem is—" you pause, grabbing an eyepencil and leaning down on him. He instinctively closes his eyes, and you smile. "—that my professionalism is threatened here. I can't properly focus on my work with you, Wonwoo."

His eyes snap open before you're even done lining the pencil on his eyelid, earning a sharp wince from you. "See! This is what I mean."

"Sorry," he breathes. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"I don't know," you say, folding your arms neatly once again. "You tell me."

He stares at you blankly for a while, unable to pinpoint exactly where you're coming from. Then his expression shifts, as if he's reminded of something. "Scratch that. Just don't quit?"

You arch an eyebrow despite the little victory dance your insides do at his statement. "Hm? Why?"

"Because—" he pauses, trying to find words. "Because like you said, I'm not good with accepting changes. I am used to you."

You sigh, shaking your head. "Is it that hard?"

"What?"

"Saying the truth."

"What truth?"

"That you like me."

Suddenly, there's pin drop silence in the makeup room. Even the humming of the aircon feels distant, as if coming from a faraway land. All you can hear is your own pulse beating wildly in your ears.

Then with calculated certainty, Wonwoo speaks. "It is."

You feel your throat running dry, and though you know you orchestrated this little game, you have no idea why you're nervous. Do you like him that much?

"But if I say it Y/N, will you stay?"

You can't help but smile. He's cute, and you'll do anything to make him happy. You nod. "I will."

He inhales a mouthful of air, and deeply exhales it all. Licking his dry lips, he looks up in your eyes, taking your hand in his large one hesitantly.

"I like you." He says, as quiet as the room. "I've liked you since the day you first put an insane amount of blush on my cheeks and I complained about looking cute. Please don't quit on me."

You've known that Wonwoo likes you, but nothing could've prepared you for the way he admits it in his low voice while holding your hand gently. You feel your pulse quickening even more if it's possible, and a blush dusts your cheeks.

"You did look cute, though."

"I didn't want to!" He groans, and you end up giggling. He sighs then, smiling along with you nevertheless. "Is that what you say to my confession?"

You shrug, grabbing a lipstick and turning to him. "If you don't mess your lipstick up this time, I'll think about going on a date with you."

He smiles, fingers hooking in yours to tug you closer. You lean closer to him as a result, eyes widening slightly. "Whatever happened to professionalism now?"

"I can compromise a little if I get a boyfriend as handsome as Jeon Wonwoo." You answer, poking his forehead so his head rests back before you begin applying lipstick on his lips.

He does mess his lipstick after your first attempt, and it leads to you kissing him, but you go on a date with him on the weekend anyway.

[silverhand]

Do you know what this is?

It's garbage. It's impractical. There's no storage. The oil from cooking is going to get on everything in the house. Your couch will be ruined in a year.

What are you putting on those shelves? How will you access it? How will you clean it?

See this:

Perfect? No. Dated? Yes. But at least it got the spirit! And you can put stuff away out of sight.

Kitchens used to be their own building. They at least need to be their own room (I've accepted that three walls is about as good as I'm likely to find in any new construction).

So far as I know, neither of the first two are machine generated, but they easily could be. The third one looks like a place.

A bit much? Probably.

But that doesn't mean there's not stuff worth lifting from it.

What does this have to do with writing? Write first for yourself. As soon as you start trying to write for a mythical person you made up (or worse, someone you follow who reviews books), your writing is going to start sucking. Or even worse, be crashingly mediocre and forgettable.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” ― Martha Graham

Make art, not content.

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

[eepy-cookies]

I will ask as anon for I’m to scared to ask otherwise but can we please have more art of

Characters: Shadow Milk Cookie x G/N! ReaderContent Warning: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

You made a little story of with that title and I swear you made one art of it and I really want to see more art of it like a little sorry book if that happen if that’s okay for I love the story so much how we meet shadow milk again after we waked up

I didnt made a title at that time since I just want to type a one shot. So I might as well add some explanations about this with only two arts! Oh btw, if anyone is a bit offended by this. I’m sorry. Your warned in advance about the yapping.

About his name: He can be called as either Blueberry Milk Cookie, Blue Moon Cookie, Blueberry Yogurt Cookie, and etc tho its safe to call him Sage of Truth. At that time his soul jam is similar to Pure Vanilla for a good solid reason, it was the first original soul jam but I do want to add a tiny head-canon that there should be a “closed eye” to his soul jam but the canon was just like Pure Vanilla’s. Just like what happens at the Blueberry Yogurt Academy before it was abandoned, it was ONCE his second history wanting to teach the cookies more knowledge while his first being crated. Plus meeting Y/N Cookie allowed him to experience what falling in love feels like.

About Y/N Cookie: They made their own appearance as a mortal cookie but had an incurable illness that the witches made a mistake, but what if it wasn’t and it was part of their experiment? Although it was very cruel Y/N Cookie was one of the cookies who suggested Sage of Truth to create that said academy to not find a way to get the cure but also to create memories that can last through time. But they knew their time is up and yet they wanted to live more just to see him one more time, after all they love him.

About the Incurable Illness: Its hard to find a better title for the name so lets call it “Incomplete Dough Illness” its just similar to humans who had disabilities that won’t let them survive much longer, however even tho it’s incurable it’s incurable since it was THE PAST before modern technology was introduced to the new generation of cookies, wether or not it can be cured it can never be cured despite everything.

The life longer spell: A spell casted by the Sage of Truth before he had become Shadow Milk Cookie, it extended a cookies lifespan thus converting them to become almost immortal, the word almost is that a Crescent Moon needs to be presented in order for that spell to perform well. The consequences is becoming corrupted and if that caster perishes that person perishes with them. If that person is also sealed they are comatose until the seal is broken and if that unconscious person is touched or worse that unfortunately cookie will live the most unluckiest and cursed life till they perish.

What happens to them: Shadow Milk Cookie took Y/N Cookie with him to a more safer place. Of course that would make the other cookies worry but Pure Vanilla told them that they will be find, after all Y/N Cookie is the ONLY COOKIE Shadow Milk Cookie recognize despite them being new in a newer world that cannot go back. Of course this time Shadow Milk Cookie CANNOT afford to let go of Y/N Cookie, they are immortally connected with him but they are still weak so they need good care by Shadow Milk Cookie himself (it has become a connected soulmates). If that makes you happy you can see Y/N Cookie still being sweet to him despite everything, sure it takes alot of time for them to understand but you should know that they are an understanding and wise cookie.

Bonus: Shadow Milk Cookie got a kiss in the end. A comforting one. ❤️

[luv-lock]

ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤSTALKERㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☆⁠ PAIRING : Dick Grayson x Fem Reader

☆⁠ HEADCANON : How it's like having him as your stalker?

☆⁠ NOTES : English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

You never noticed him at first.

Which was strange, really. Because Dick was a presence—magnetic, charming, always the kind of guy who could steal attention in any room, even when he wasn’t trying.

But with you? He liked to stay hidden. Lurking in the shadows. Watching.

At first, it was innocent (or so he told himself). He noticed you at a coffee shop one day, lost in a book, chewing on the end of your pen as you scribbled something in a notebook. He found himself drawn to the little things—the way you furrowed your brows when concentrating, the way you smiled at something on your phone, the soft way you carried yourself. It was just curiosity at first. That’s all.

Then he saw you again. And again. And suddenly, he was seeing you everywhere.

It became a habit, a compulsion. He memorized your routine like it was a mission. When you got coffee. What time you left work. What stores you liked to browse in. He told himself he was just making sure you were safe—because Gotham was dangerous, right? A girl like you, alone? Vulnerable? It only made sense that he’d keep an eye on you.

Then he got closer.

It started small. Brushing past you on the subway, close enough to inhale the scent of your shampoo. Sitting near you in a cafe, pretending to be busy on his phone while he listened to the way you spoke. Learning your favorite drink, so he could leave it waiting for you at the counter when you arrived—anonymously, of course. You’d glance around, confused, but never knew it was him.

You weren’t even aware that he was already in your apartment.

Not when you were there, of course—he’d never scare you like that. But while you were out? He’d slip inside with an ease that almost disappointed him (you really needed better locks). He never took anything—he just… looked. Examined the little pieces of your life. The books stacked beside your bed. The jewelry you left on the dresser. The clothes draped over the chair, still carrying the ghost of your body’s warmth.

He touched them sometimes. Ran his fingers over the fabric. Just to feel close to you.

The obsession grew.

He started taking things—small things, things you wouldn’t notice were gone. A hair tie. A receipt you left on the counter. A half-used tube of lip balm. They were trophies, proof that he was part of your world even if you didn’t know it yet.

And the pictures. Oh, the pictures.

They covered his walls. You smiling. You asleep on the bus, head tucked against the window. You looking at a menu, deep in thought. Hundreds of them, from every angle, every moment of your life he could capture without you noticing.

And the best part?

You liked him.

You had no idea, of course, but Dick could see it. The way you glanced at him when he finally started talking to you, when he finally made himself known in your life. It was easy—he was charming, he was sweet, he was everything you’d want in a guy.

So he inserted himself into your life, seamlessly.

“Oh, hey, fancy seeing you here!” A bright smile. A friendly laugh. “What a coincidence, huh?”

It wasn’t a coincidence.

It was orchestrated, down to the second. Every “random” encounter, every meeting—it was all planned, deliberate. But you didn’t question it. Why would you? He was Dick Grayson. A gentleman. A hero.

You never realized the full weight of his devotion.

Never realized how deep it ran.

Never realized how much worse it could get.

Because the thought of losing you? The thought of someone else having you?

It made him sick.

It made him furious.

It made him violent.

You noticed the change after a while. The possessiveness in his touch, the way his grip lingered on your wrist, the way his blue eyes darkened when you so much as smiled at another man.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” he’d say, voice honey-sweet. “You’re too trusting, sweetheart. Not everyone has good intentions.”

Not like him.

So when your ex went missing, you didn’t think much of it.

When that guy at work—the one who flirted with you—got mugged and beaten within an inch of his life, you chalked it up to Gotham’s crime rate.

And when you started feeling like you were being watched, even in the safety of your own home—well.

Dick was always there to reassure you.

“It’s okay, babe,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

And he meant it.

Even if that meant keeping you all to himself.

— MASTERLIST ☆

— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆

[mommyslittlebird]

Prelude

Stepmama!Wanda x Reader

Summary: Things with your mother had never been good, but when you truly couldn’t take it anymore, you turned to the only place you had left.

Word Count: ~2k ish

CW: MOMMY ISSUES, leaving home, references to past/current abuse.

A/N: Please leave your comments and thoughts on this! I’m not really sure where I want to take this series yet, and I would love to hear what you all want to see!

Prelude to Mama

———————————————————

You weren’t exactly sure what would be the final straw in the relationship between you and your mother, but you had always imagined it’d be something big. You always thought there would be one final moment, when she did something crazy, like maybe she would make some threat on your life or chase you out of the house with a knife or set all of your things on fire.

But it wasn’t like that at all.

There were no threats, no shouting, no one even raised their voice. It was just like any other Thursday afternoon, really. You were going through the cupboard, looking for something to eat for dinner. As usual, they were largely empty aside from some dry pasta, some stale potato chips, some cereal that would require milk you didn’t have, and some various unlabelled cans. You grabbed the cereal. You could make something work. You always did.

Your mother came into the kitchen snacking on a bag of Blue Diamond almonds. She shook the bag and held it out to you. “Do you want some almonds?”

You froze briefly. You were allergic to nuts. “No thanks. I'm allergic, remember?”

She tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “No you’re not. Since when are you allergic to almonds?”

Since second grade. You had eaten some at a birthday party and went into anaphylactic shock in a bouncy castle. You had to be taken to the hospital. You ruined the whole party. You cried everyday for the rest of the school year because no one wanted to talk to the weird kid who had to get a shot in her butt cheek at a birthday party. You never got invited to another one. How could she not remember?

You looked at her silently for a long while. This wasn’t worth fighting over. You couldn’t expect her to remember everything about you. But the longer you looked at her, the more it seemed like she might not know anything about you at all. She knew you as her daughter, of course. She knew you as a good student: quiet, reserved, always well-behaved. She knew you as someone smart enough to do taxes, handy enough to fix the broken things around the house, resourceful enough to make dinner even with an empty cupboard. But none of those things were really you, they were all things you did for her.

Did she even know that there was you outside of her?

You had given her the opportunity to. You’d given her many opportunities to. In a lot of ways, that made it worse. You had opened your heart to her only to be told she didn’t want to see it. And here she was, looking at you like she didn’t even know you had a heart to open.

You started to feel dizzy, nauseated by the woman standing in front of you. At first, you couldn’t possibly comprehend that you had come out of her. You seemed so separated that it was impossible that the two of you had ever been connected in any way. Then, it seemed the opposite, that you were never really separated at all. It was now as it had been before you even came into the world: you were a part of her on every level.

And the worst part was, you couldn’t even bring yourself to be angry with her.

Just as you were an extension of her, she was an extension of everything that had happened to her. You could see it swirling inside of her: a maelstrom of trauma, pain, and mental illness. She was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator. She wasn’t a monster, she was just a sick woman who never got the help she needed.

“It doesn’t matter,” you finally answered.

She shrugged and walked away. You calmly set the cereal back in the cabinet, swallowing your hurt and trying to make it dinner. You leaned forward to rest your head on the cupboard. What were you doing here?

Clearly she didn’t care that you were here. So what was holding you in this house? Why were you choosing this life where nothing was ever clean, there was never any food, and only other person around was a woman who couldn’t even remember your nut allergy.

The room felt like it was shrinking in on you making it hard to breathe. You felt incredibly tiny, yet like you were still taking up too much space. You had to get out of here.

You didn’t even put shoes on before running out of the house, grabbing your keys and throwing yourself into the driver’s seat. You could hardly see the road through your tears. You were in no state to be driving at all, really, but, miraculously, you made it safely across town to the home your dad lived in with your stepmother, Wanda.

Your father, as usual, was away on a business trip. You didn’t know your stepmother that well, but she was a kind woman that you figured would be welcoming. It was your house as much as it was hers, after all. Anything was better than what you were running from.

Going to your father’s house on a week he wasn’t home wouldn’t have been your first choice. Then again, you weren’t exactly in a place to be picky. It was nearly midnight by this point and it was pouring rain. Your father’s guest room would at least have a warm, dry bed for you to sleep in, which was more than you would get anywhere else. You doubted you could even find a vacant hotel room at this hour, not that you had the money for that anyway.

Wanda opened the thin curtain in the dining room when she saw the bright headlights. The driveway was long and far from the road, so headlights were rare, especially this late at night. Her heart jumped to her throat when she saw it was your car. The front door was open before you were even on the porch. You stumbled inside, soaked in cold rain and tears.

“Honey, what happened?” she gasped, running to grab a towel to dry you off. She grabbed a nice fluffy towel, scrubbing your hair dry. She wrapped it around your shoulders, trying to get your frail body to stop shaking. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing but a small squeak came out. You were crying so hard you had to hold onto the banister to stay upright. She wrapped an arm around your waist, bracing you against her own body.

She slung your arm around her shoulder, trying to help you up the stairs. “Shshsh, baby,” she cooed, cradling your head and kissing your temple. “Let’s get you wrapped up and warm. You're gonna be okay. I’ve got you.” She eventually got you up to the guest room, the room she had long considered to be yours anyway. She sat you down on the edge of the bed before turning to grab some spare clothes from the wardrobe. She placed them in a folded pile next to you and knelt down in front of you, placing herself on your level.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re safe here. I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you,” she soothed, rubbing your knee gently. “Just take a few deep breaths for me. Do you think you can tell me what happened?”

“M-mom…” was the only word you could choke out.

She nodded in understanding. “Something happened with your mom?”

You nodded and blabbered, but she could see you were just getting frustrated with your inability to speak.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Take your time, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” Wanda reassured, trying to quell your rising frustration. “Did she hurt you?”

You shook your head. “N-no. It was… well it was stupid, really. She… well, I was hungry… and she gave me… al-almonds.”

“Almonds?” Wanda’s eyes went wide as dinner plates. She rolled up your sleeve and pushed two fingers into the skin of your wrist, as if she was checking whether or not you were alive in front of her. Her other hand went up to cradle the side of your head, pressing her thumb to your cheekbone. “You didn’t eat any, did you? Do you have your EpiPen with you? I have an extra in the closet. I can…”

“No,” you interrupted. “I didn’t eat any. I’m okay. I just… I can’t believe she forgot. I mean I guess I can’t expect her to remember everything about me, but… I don’t know… this felt important.”

“Honey,” she started, tone growing a bit harsher. She wasn’t upset with you, but you could feel the anger radiating off of her. “She could’ve killed you. That isn’t just something that slips your mind. That’s carelessness. A carelessness that could have cost you dearly. God she shouldn’t even be eating almonds in the same room as you! Agh!”

You jumped a little bit. She felt a twinge of guilt. The last thing you needed right now was someone to scare you even more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you.”

“I know,” you sniffled. “I just… I know she didn’t mean to hurt me. She just forgot…”

“My love,” she started, cradling your face again, “do you know what these sheets are made of?”

You shook your head.

“Cotton. And it’s washed with hypoallergenic laundry detergent. Because I know my baby has sensitive skin, and polyester and scented detergents make you itchy. And you don’t stay here very often, but when you do, you deserve a nice soft bed that doesn’t break you out,” she explained. “I know you may not think of me as your mama, and that’s okay. You don’t have to. But know that I’d sooner forget my own name than forget you take your coffee with two creams and a sugar. It comes to me as natural as breathing. Because that’s what mama’s do. They love. They care. And they never forget.”

“But… she’s… she’s sick,” you stammered. “Her head… she’s… she’s in so much pain Wanda.”

She squeezed your hand. “Her pain is not a crucifix, sweetheart. You don’t not need to martyr yourself on it. She’s hurting you.” She lifted your head, forcing you to look at her. Her voice was quiet, regretful, even. As if it pained her to admit she’d let you live with her for so long. The more you spoke the clearer it became that this problem ran much deeper than almonds. Bile rose in her throat as she imagined what you had been through, even just in the year she’d known you. She should’ve seen it sooner, but she would not let you suffer any longer. “Baby. Please.”

You wanted to argue back: tell her that it wasn’t that your mother was bad, she just had a harder time being gentle and loving. Her head didn’t always work right. That’s why she treated you the way she did: not because she didn’t love or care about you, but because she was sick and broken.

You wanted to tell her that you weren’t weary or afraid of your mother, just that sick part of her. It wasn’t her; it was different. But then you took a long look into Wanda’s eyes. You felt her hand, soft and warm against your face. And you weren’t weary. And you weren’t afraid. There was no monster rippling under the surface, no eggshells under your feet. There was just Wanda. Your mama.

You fell forward, off the bed and into her arms. She caught you, pulling you against her chest and cradling your head into her shoulder while you cried. She gently pet your wet hair, soothing you and rocking you in her arms. “I know, baby. I know,” she whispered, kissing right next to your ear. “You deserve so much better, my love. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything she ever did and didn’t do. I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I would’ve come, if I had known. I will always come for you, I swear. But you don’t have to live like that anymore. I’m gonna take care of you, angel. Mama’s got you.”

You grabbed her shirt, balling it up in your fists like you were afraid she’d fly away. She rocked you, adjusting to sit on the floor with you in her lap. She cried too, remorseful and guilty for every second she let you rot in that house. She cried for the evenings you had gone hungry, the nights she hadn’t cradled you in her arms, and every biting action that had made you believe you were anything less than a miracle. It would never happen again. She would never let it happen.

You felt so small and frail in her arms. What kind of person could hurt a little angel like you? She wanted to burn down the other half of the city just thinking about it. She would drain every ounce of blood from your mother’s miserable veins if I could replace even a drop she took from you.

She rubbed your back and kissed your head, cooing words of reassurance and praise until your sobs turned to sniffles.

“Mama…” you cried softly into her neck. Her heart nearly lept from her chest. That was her. She was your mama.

She smiled, looking down at you. She lifted your head to rub your nose against her’s. “That’s right, baby. I’m your mama, and I’m never gonna let you go.”

[wcnderlnds]

don't look back [part two] | kwon ji-yong (g dragon)

・❥・ summary: after walking out on jiyong, you were heartbroken hiding away in your house until you get an unexpected visitor on your doorstep. ・❥・word count: 1.6k ・❥・warnings: nothing, really! angst and fluff ・❥・ authors note: this is part two to a collab with my best friend and the ultimate g dragon lover @ldydeath <3 PART ONE HERE

Weeks had passed since the last conversation with Jiyong. The second you had given him his ring back, you’d walked away and never turned back. The way he’d treated you, the way he’d talked to you — it wasn’t okay. Maybe leaving had been an overreaction but he had hurt you. Tour was stressful and Jiyong always put so much pressure on himself but all you had wanted was to be there for him. Instead, it had turned into the worst trip of your life. What had meant to be a happy few weeks with the love of your life had turned into you losing him.  There were no words to describe the ache in your heart. It was like someone had taken a hammer and smashed it into little pieces. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t piece it back together. Only one person could but you hadn’t heard a word from him since that day.

Your friends had told you he was miserable — working himself to the bone so that he didn’t have to think about what he’d lost. The second he stopped was the second he realised his life was worthless without you in it. What could he do, though? He has been awful to you when all you had done was care about him. He didn’t mean it; you had caught him on a really bad day and he’d let his emotions get the better of him. He’d never forgive himself for how he’d treated you.

As the days passed it only became more and more evident to you how badly you needed him. He was a part of you, a part of everything you held so dear and close. It felt like something was missing, emptiness consuming your every thought. The idea of flying to wherever he was and trying to talk to him had floated around in your head but you couldn’t. What if he didn’t want to see you? It could end up like last time and make everything so much worse. Actually, maybe you had done that by giving him the ring back. Now all you could do was sit and get lost in your own pit of self loathing and misery. Time heals all wounds — that’s what everyone said but you weren’t sure it would heal this one.

Cocooning yourself in your blankets on the couch surrounded by all your favourite snacks had become your routine. Thank the stars that work had decided you could keep working from home. There was no way you were in any fit state to go into the office and be face to face with anyone. In fact, when you had come home, you’d taken those first few days off which was unusual for you. There was nothing that usually stopped you but apparently a broken heart could tear even the strongest people down.

There was a knock on the door which caused your head to snap up instantly. Who could that even be? As far as you knew you weren’t expecting anything and most people knew not to bother you right now. The first thought was to ignore it so you kept your eyes glued to the television screen until the knock sounded again. Okay, whoever it was they were being persistent. Very reluctantly, you got to your feet, holding your hoodie – well, it was actually Jiyong’s that you’d stolen weeks ago to sleep in while he was gone – tight to you, the sleeves coming past your hands.

Opening the door, your eyes almost comically widened at the person stood in front of you.

Jiyong.

There he stood, a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hand, shyly glancing at you. All it took was one look at him to know that he was nervous, more so than usual. He was the last person you had expected to show up on the doorstep. Sure, it was your shared place – you both lived there and he could’ve easily let himself in but he still had tour dates left overseas. He shouldn’t be here. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you took in his appearance. The dark bags under his eyes showed that he wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t taking care of himself and that hurt more than anything else. All you ever wanted was the best for him despite everything that happened.

“What are you doing here?” You couldn’t help the quiet question falling from your lips. 

“...I needed to see you,” he took a step forward, his shaky hands holding out the flowers for you. “I know it’s stupid and flowers aren’t going to make up for everything I said but…”

Gently, you took them from his hand, your fingers lightly brushing against his; that spark that always ignited whenever you touched him shooting through your body. “They’re beautiful.”

Silence fell between you, the air thick with tension. There was so much to say, so many things that had been left unspoken. Your eyes found the ring that he still had on his pinky finger. At least he hadn’t taken it off or got rid of it. 

“I’m so-”

“You can come in. It’s your place, too.”

You didn’t mean to cut him off but you couldn’t hear the words ‘I’m sorry’. Anyone could say them but it didn’t make them true. Actions and words spoke louder than a simple phrase. Turning your back, you headed towards the kitchen to place the flowers down. Once they were on the counter, you were about to grab a vase to place them in but Jiyong’s fingers wrapped around your arm softly, turning you to face him. Your breath caught in your throat as you almost pressed against his chest. It had been so long since you’d been this close to him. Every nerve ending was on fire, it was hard to not reach out and caress him especially with that sad frown plastered on his face.

“Nothing will ever make up for what I said to you and I’m so, so sorry that I acted the way I did. That isn’t me – you know it isn’t. If there's one thing in this world that I know, it’s that I love you. I want a life with you. Everything I have is meaningless without you by my side and I messed that up. I hurt your feelings, I said things that I didn’t mean. I was just… in a bad place. I should’ve talked to you instead of pushing you away but I did the worst thing imaginable. I’ll spend forever making it up to you if I have to,” his words were rushed, quiet. The emotion weighed heavy in them, you could see how much he meant them, how much pain he was in just by the look in his eyes.

“You basically said what I was giving you wasn’t good enough, Jiyong. I was giving you everything and so much more and if that’s not good enough, I don’t know what is. I love you so much but is that enough for you?” Tears had started to fall without you even realising. It only made it worse when Jiyong stepped closer, the pad of his thumb brushing away the tears from your cheeks. “I want to be with you but I need to know that it’s enough. That I’m enough.”

“You are enough. You are more than enough. I’m just an idiot. I was caught up in my own head and letting the bad thoughts win. How you make me feel, what you give to me? It’s always been enough. Please trust me when I say that. I want to be with you. I want a life with you. I want to marry you, give you everything you deserve.”

Knowing Jiyong for as long as you had, you could tell when he was lying and right now? He was more than telling the truth. He was bearing his heart and soul, putting all his feelings out there. Being vulnerable was hard for anyone but especially for Jiyong so to see him standing there trying, it made it a little better. Just a little. There was still a long way to go yet.

“I wish you’d just talk to me when you get those thoughts. Stop hiding in yourself. I’m here for you. I don’t care if we’re in different countries or timezones, you can always call me. I need you to keep being open with me like this. If things are going to work with us again then we need an open line of communication and honesty.”

“I will, I swear from now on, I will. What happened will never happen again. I promise to you, baby. If I ever treat you that way again, I’ll get Youngbae to beat me up.”

That caused you to giggle a little. The tension slowly easing from the room, a feeling of ease once again settling between you. “He is the third best fighter after all.”

Jiyong smiled, a real smile, one of his hands slowly sliding down to rest on your hip. “Does this mean I have another chance?”

“Yeah, I love you Kwon Jiyong but mess up again and that’s it.”

He didn’t say another word but instead he dropped down to one knee, taking the ring off his pinky finger as he held your hand. The stupidest grin was plastered on his tired face as he looked up at you. “Will you marry this stupid idiot?”

“Yes, now get up, you idiot,” you laughed, taking his face in your hands and pressing your lips to his for the first time in weeks. His arms winded around you, pulling you flush against him. A sigh of content passed his lips, his eyes closing as he let himself get lost in you. This was where he was always meant to be. With you and he’d make sure to never, ever mess that up again.

taglist (ask to be added!): @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten @mirahyun @mattsturniolosbabymama

[madewithsilk]

Can you do a rlly feminine reader with either Ellie williams, Abby, or Vi? Please n thank youuu 🙏🙏

— ᴠɪ x ꜰᴇᴍɪɴɪɴᴇ (ꜰ!) ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

— Vi who worships the ground you walk on. She'll get you everything and anything you want, you've hardly ever heard the word no leave her mouth. How could she say no to you?

"Vi, which one should I get!" You pout, complaining with two equally beautiful dresses in your hand. Vi looks dumbfounded while staring at you, snapping herself out of the trance. "Uh, get both, I'll buy both." She clarifies, watching you wrap your arms around her. She'd spend a million dollars on you to get that same reaction each time.

— Vi who follows you around like a lost puppy. Her friends have even called her out for it, when you're at a party or a reunion of some sort, she's after you and following your every whim. She can't help it. And it's even worse when you're upset with her, she can't take it.

Vi's eyebrows furrowed, hugging you from behind and nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck with unshed tears. "Why are you so mad, baby?" She whispers, knowing damn right why you were angry. You scoff and jerk her hand away but she just holds you closer. "Wanna do my makeup or some shit like that? Just stop being mad." You turn around with lit up eyes, a smile coming across your face.

— Vi who enjoys servicing you more than receiving. She loves getting down on her knees for you, begging you to let her eat your cunt. She loves when you tangle your hand into her hair and guide her, or when you grind against her face like if she were a toy.

Her blue eyes gazed up at you as her nose grinded on your clit and her tongue fucked your entrance. Your legs were thrown over her shoulder, whimpering and bucking your hips upwards. "Vi, m'so close—" She gave you as many orgasms as you wanted.

— Vi that loves when you leave bright pink kiss marks all over her face. She gets woozy by the end, head spinning with all the little lipstick marks her cheeks and neck.

You had been trying to find a kiss proof lipstick, trying on multiple kinds and brands just to see Vi and see if it would rub off. Perhaps you purposefully tried all not not-transfer-proof ones so she could look beautiful with you lip marks. "Awh, none of these don't smudge!" You bounce slightly on the couch, complaining. "Jus', just keep trying, dollface."

— Vi that loves playing housewife with you. She’s always been the one to do everything her whole life, so coming home from work to a pretty wife who prances around with a floral apron on while cooking dinner and doing laundry is just her dream.

Vi puts her coat up, takes her shoes off, and tumbles over to the kitchen just to wrap her arms around your waist and sway you side to side. “Made your favorite, ma’am,” You tease and giggle just for her to kiss you briefly. “Love you so much,” And when she wanders off to the bedroom, clean clothes, tidy space, and bath set up for you both, she falls even deeper in love.

— Vi who dreads punishing you and even then treats you like glass. She knows she has to put her foot down when you act up, but its so hard. You're also so stubborn when it comes down to it, she's practically begging you to say sorry.

“Jus’ apologize baby, I’ll let you cum right away,” She’s stripped your third orgasm from you, pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping pussy. You shake your head, squirming and moaning. It isn't till the fifth orgasm she stripped you of that you finally babbled “M’sorry! So sorry— please Vi!”

— Vi who kisses your cunt after you cum multiple times. She grinds against the mattress, getting off simply from placing small pecks on your twitching nub, tongue circling it gently and watching your body shiver.

“Did I do good?” She whispers against your pussy, sending vibrations up your core. You nod and pant, “Such a good girl,” You praise and pet her hair.

[leclercsixteen]

𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒂 ! ᶜˡ¹⁶ ᵐᵛ¹

you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up ⋆˚࿔

𝓬harles leclerc + 𝓶ax verstappen x 𝓶ale reader synopsis: reader was the rookie in the upcoming formula 1 season. his name was in everyone’s mouth and on everyone’s social media page. but, he’s still a person who has homework, feelings, and two nonbiological older brothers—or nonbiological dads, however you want to look at it.

genre: familial, smau and irl, hurt/comfort, fluff warnings: lestappen is shipped but theyre not together, stressed reader, reader replaces liam

author's note: not intended for female readers & not written for female readers. this came to me in a dream.

masterlist. navigation.

Y/N WAS A force to be reckoned with on the track. His talented overtakes and passes on the track helped him climb up the ranks easily. He quickly made his way up to Formula 1, skipping over Formula 2, and became the youngest rookie for the upcoming season. It was no surprise that he was all everyone talked about; Red Bull dropping Liam Lawson to pick up an inexperienced rookie who was still in high school.

He was a high school student by day and a Formula 1 driver, also by day. His schedule was the definition of stressful and he had no competition for the most stressed award. Y/n took online classes seeing as there was no way for him to go to a school while flying all over the world for races. It was surprising to the drivers around him that he was able to do everything, including perform well in his car when it really mattered, and not show any signs of stress.

It was surprising to y/n too; he was covered up to his ears in stress and he felt as though he was drowning every second of the day.

liked by f1, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1

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userone god i really need to lock in bros life looks amazing and he's younger than me

usertwo i think we're forgetting the fact that he's a student AND formula 1 driver? like i can barely get through just school but he's a double agent liked by youruser

charles_leclerc why that picture :( ⤷ youruser my parents obviously

maxverstappen1 you couldn't've picked a picture that i took with you? ⤷ youruser of course not :)

redbullracing 🔥🔥 liked by youruser

userthree can't wait to watch you kill it this season! ⤷ userfour alr he aint that good bro ⤷ userthree he skipped f2 and red bull literally dropped liam lawson for him ??????? okay ...

charles_leclerc maxverstappen1 why are you looking at me like that ⤷ maxverstappen1 that's how i look at all of my friends ⤷ youruser you guys don't even follow each other still stop flirting in my comments

userfive red bull check on your driver challenge ⤷ usersix wdym? ⤷ userfive i saw y/n recently with max and charles and he just looked so tired and so out of it. it doesnt look like red bull is doing much to help him out with schooling and his mental health liked by youruser ⤷ usersix nah you're reaching 😭😭 ⤷ userfive y/n literally liked my comment but whatever

Y/N THOUGHT F4 and F3 were bad, but F1 was a whole different rodeo. Their schedule wasn't as hectic during F4 and F3 as it is in F1, but it was still pretty stressful having to do homework on the road when you couldn't talk to anybody about it since most of the drivers dropped out of school. F1 was worse; nobody was in school or they dropped out before they could graduate so nobody understood what he was going through, he was shipped around the world on a weekly basis, he had training day in and day out, and he had to do calculus homework in between practices.

He held his forehead in his hand as he leaned his elbow against the table in front of him. Y/n was currently looking at his math homework like it had 5 heads instead of 0 since it was a piece of paper. The eraser of his pencil tapped against the table that distracted him away from his homework momentarily. The problem he was stuck on stared back at him as he felt almost guilty for not being able to solve this problem.

"You okay?"

Max.

When it was announced that y/n would be taking Liam's spot, y/n had already met with Max multiple times. They were trying to see if the team chemistry would be there between a seasoned driver and an unseasoned one. Their relationship formed quickly as Max became an older brother figure to y/n. Max connected him to Charles, both having some idea what y/n was going through. From there, Max and Charles became y/n's mentor's in Formula 1 and helped him through everything he needed to know.

Y/n turned his head away from the worksheet and he looked over at Max, who was walking over in his race suit as he just got done with his FP2. He wore a worried look as y/n was tucked into the corner of the Red Bull hospitality with a confused and frustrated look on his face.

The rookie sighed as he dropped his pencil and hid his face in his hands. "Not really," he groaned as both his arms and head dropped onto the table; his head laying on his folded arms. "Calculus is going to be the death of me, Max. I can't do this," there was a slight waver to his voice, but he refused to cry in front of his teammate.

Max pursed his lips and sighed. He looked around the room to see if there was anything he could grab that might be of service to the young driver. When nothing came to mind, Max sat in the chair to y/n's right and he turned it so it faced y/n.

"Hey," Max said softly as he nudged y/n's knee with his own. Y/n's head rolled to the side so he could see Max's face and Max could see his. Y/n's eyes were starting to turn red, but Max paid no attention to it because he knew y/n would hate him for it. "If you need help, or a break, just ask, or talk to me or Charles. We care about you, y/n, and it sucks to see that they," he nodded over to the Red Bull team who was working on Max's car, "don't care about your mental health or school work. But, Charles and I do, okay?"

Y/n pursed his lips and nodded, blinking away tears that threatened to fall from his stinging eyes. He cleared his throat as he leaned back in his chair, his arms falling down into his lap as he looked back at the table

"Yeah. I care about you guys too," y/n started, looking down at his hands which were starting to fold his fingers together as a distraction, "but it's hard. I never liked asking for help and it's still a hard thing for me to do, even if you and Charles are trying to tell me it's okay to do so." Y/n rubbed at his nose as that too was starting to sting. He blinked away tears once more. "I just wish people understood. Fans and reporters. I feel like they only see me as the rookie that got picked up, and not as a high school student who happens to be good at racing," he looked up at Max, who was nodding along to what he was saying, paying attention to every word he said.

Max smiled sadly and nodded. "It sucks, it really does. They never understand and they don't even try to. I'm sorry about that, y/n, I really am," his eyes were wide and filled with sadness and sympathy. "They don't have to understand, though. You don't have to care about what they think, alright?" His eyes turned serious as he leaned forward and put a hand on y/n's knee. "You just need to focus on your school work and driving. Your real fans understand and they care about you too."

Y/n nodded along and he sniffed before wiping his nose on his hoodie sleeve. His FP2 was before Max's, so he slipped out of his race suit and into comfy clothes quickly so he could hide himself in the corner he and Max found themselves in now so he wouldn't be bothered.

Max's eyes narrowed at y/n before they glanced at his worksheet. "When is that due?" He asked as he pointed at the worksheet, which was halfway done.

"Um," y/n hummed as he looked over at the worksheet. He wasn't sure, so he had to double check. "One second," he said as he opened up his computer that was previously closed and shut off as he kept trying to look at the answer key. He pulled up Google Classroom and scrolled to his calculus class. He clicked his tongue a couple of times before saying, "Not until Monday." He looked back at Max, who had a smile on his face. "Why?"

"Tomorrow isn't Monday," Max smiled at y/n. They had a qualifying tomorrow, but an idea was brewing in Max's head already for tonight.

Y/n's brows furrowed, "I'm glad you know your days of the week, Max."

Max laughed. "How about we do something tonight? Invite Charles and we just go hang out around town?" He asked with a smile.

It wasn't unusual for Charles, Max, and y/n to do some adventuring in the town they end up having races in, but it was starting to get rare as y/n's midterms were sneaking up in the next month or two.

Y/n went to deny as he wanted to finish the worksheet, but Max held up a hand and leaned forward in his seat. "Don't try and get out of this because of your homework that isn't due until Monday. You're still young, y/n. You deserve to have some fun in your life, yeah?"

The younger driver scoffed a laugh as he leaned back in his seat. He shook his head, "You're unbelievable and I hate you." Max raised a brow and he held out his hands as he waited for a confirmation. "What the hell, sure," y/n shook his head as Max smiled and hit his shoulder.

"Alright!" Max smiled and stood. His hands hit his thighs as he stood. "You can stay in that if you want," he gestured towards y/n's oversized Red Bull hoodie and matching sweat-shorts, "but I'm going to take a very quick shower and change. I'll text Charles as well."

Then, Max left towards his driver room.

A smile formed on y/n's face. Even if he was close to tears just a minute ago, his eyes were dry as he packed up his calculator, pencil case, and tucked his worksheet into his math folder. It felt nice to be liked and to be needed. While he did have a loving family cheering him on from home, it was hard to be away from them during the season. It was nice to have two people who could fill in those roles while they were away.

Y/n made his way to the couch that was in the Red Bull hospitality, but not before grabbing a Red Bull from the mini fridge that was at the end of the couch. It was nearing dinner time and y/n was sure he would fall asleep on the couch he just sat on if he didn't have at least a couple of sips of Red Bull in his system.

As Max showered and changed, y/n played a mindless game on his phone that Charles downloaded a while ago after his own phone had died and was bored. Y/n remembers it vaguely; he doesn't remember where they were or what they were doing, but Charles's phone had died and he asked y/n id he had games on his phone, to which y/n responded no and Charles acted as if he killed Leo. Then, Charles said that it was his favorite game and was convinced that y/n was living under a rock because he didn't have it downloaded.

He played a couple of rounds before Max came out of his driver's room in a surprising pair of sweatpants and one of his classic Red Bull collard shirts. It wasn't common to see Max in sweatpants, he usually wore jeans with his shirts. Max typed on his phone as he walked, and he almost ran into the couch, but he stopped right in front of it before he could.

"You ready?" Max asked once he looked up from his phone. He chuckled at the sight in front of him; y/n holding his red bull can close as he was curled in on himself in the corner of the couch. His phone was close to his face as he played his game.

Y/n looked up and nodded, quickly unfurling himself. "Yep," he said, popping the 'p'. He stood from the couch and adjusted his hoodie. "Charles already outside?" y/n asked as Max started to lead the way to the door of the hospitality. He didn't get an answer from Max, but his confirmation was Charles standing in front of the door once Max opened up the door.

"Hey you two," Charles smiled at them as y/n and Max bent down to slip on the quickest shoes they could (sneakers for Max and Birkenstock clogs for y/n). Charles wore a red hoodie with a small black Ferrari horse on the heart with white sweatpants and creme Puma suede shoes. "Let's go, yeah?" He nodded his head toward the car park where all of the drivers kept their cars during race weekend.

Max and y/n stepped out of the Red Bull hospitality with smiles on their faces, happy that their trio was back together. Sometimes it's hard for the Red Bull duo to get together with Charles, seeing as their teams want to make sure their secrets aren't being shared with their opponent.

"Where are we going?" Y/n asked as the trio started to walk toward the car park; y/n was in the middle with Max to his right and Charles to his left. He looked from Max and then to Charles, both having smiles on their faces as they looked at each other past y/n's head.

"Seriously guys, where are we going?"

liked by oscarpiastri, redbullracing, maxverstappen1, and others tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1

youruser had to buy a swimsuit at the store cause they didn't tell me i needed one when we left

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charles_leclerc do people not go streaking anymore? ⤷ youruser you are NASTY! NASTY i tell you

userseven did you get your homework done

usereight alright ..

maxverstappen1 at least you got a new swimsuit out of it, i just got sandy pizza ⤷ charles_leclerc that was your own fault ⤷ youruser maxverstappen1 free protein for quali!!

oscarpiastri whore behavior on main is crazy ⤷ youruser leave me and my whoreiness alone 💔

usernine i wish i had a relationship like y/n and lestappen ⤷ userten so..parents? ⤷ usernine that was unnecessary

usereleven YOU'RE GOING TO GET POLE POSITION TOMORROW Y/N I BELIEVE IN YOU!! ⤷ usertwelve nah he's washed ⤷ userthirteen it's literally his first season 😭😭??????????

lando high school senior & f1 driver by day WHORE by night ⤷ youruser what's up with the mclaren teammates calling me a whore just say you want me and move on ⤷ lando woah alright i touched a nerve there my bad

TURNS OUT WHERE they were going was a beach—actually, first a clothing store, then a pizza restaurant, and then the beach. Charles and Max only told y/n they were going to the beach after pulling out of the car park in Charles's white Ferrari, so he whined and forced them to stop at a clothing store nearby so he could run in and buy a new pair of trunks and even a cover shirt.

Y/n leaned back on the blanket that Charles pulled out of his trunk when they pulled up to the beach. His elbows and heels dig into the sand as he laid back relaxed. He watched as Max and Charles played in the water like children. They had tried to pull him to the water with them, but he just denied and wanted to stay dry. He pulled on his Red Bull sweatshirt from before as the sun was starting to set and it was starting to get windy on the beach.

He must've zoned out, because suddenly both Max and Charles were laughing right next to him and falling down onto towels that they brought. They were sighing and laughing through breaths as they sat on either side of y/n, Max to y/n right and Charles to his left like before.

"You guys have fun?" Y/n asked, a smile on his face as he looked from Max to Charles, and then back to Max, and repeated that a couple of times before he got an answer.

Charles laughed and nodded, "Yeah. It's been so long since I've had fun in the water at a beach. I usually go on my boat, but I haven't been on a beach in so long."

Silence fell onto the three as they watched the sun slowly set and listened to the crashing of the waves and the chatter of birds that were further down the shoreline.

Suddenly, after a beat of staring at y/n and questioning whether he should actually speak up or not, Max asked, "Are you okay, now?" Y/n turned to Max while Charles turned to watch y/n like Max.

Y/n took a breath and looked back out towards the water. He pursed his lips and after a beat, he nodded. "Yeah," he breathed out with a smile on his face. "Yeah, I am. Sometimes I get too caught up in my own head and I act like I never have enough time for a break, and my life is always go, go, go. While it is that way sometimes, I feel like I never ask for help, or for a break." He took a deep breath in, smelling and taking in the smell of the salt water. Y/n looked to Max and then to Charles with a smile, "Thank you guys. Really. This was really nice, and definitely needed."

Charles smiled back at y/n and he glanced to Max quickly before looking back at y/n. "We're always here for you, y/n. Whether it's for school help, driving help, mental help, or even to kill someone," they all let out a chuckle, "we're here for you, okay? You're special, y/n, and we don't want you to lose your young spark just because you're stressed, alright?"

Y/n smiled, teary-eyed. He nodded, "Alright. I love you guys."

"We love you too, but," Max stood and he bent down to pull off y/n hoodie, which went willingly as y/n rolled his eyes, "it's time to get you in the water."

"Maaaax," y/n whined, but they weren't heard as Charles laughed and joined Max in standing. He helped grab y/n and drag him towards the water. Y/n's yells were helpless as he laughed and squirmed in their grip. "I hate you guys!" Y/n yelled before he was tossed into the cold water.

He came back up with a scowl as Charles and Max laughed with each other at y/n. "I know where you sleep."

liked by youruser, maxverstappen1, f1, and others tagged: youruser, maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc much needed quality time before quali 🌊❤️

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userfourteen bro theyre so cute 😭😭

userfifteen they don't want us to ship lestappen then they post pictures of them playing in the water like alright mate

youruser don't be fooled by the smile on my back, i was NOT happy ⤷ charles_leclerc i don't know i remember you telling us you loved us ⤷ maxverstappen1 you know i remember that too ⤷ youruser i told you guys i hated you actually

usersixteen the only family in formula 1

userseventeen can't decide if y/n is their kid or brother ⤷ usereighteen if we're shipping lestappen, kid. if we're not, brother.

maxverstappen1 ❤️ ⤷ charles_leclerc literally just a heart? damn what the hell ⤷ youruser my parents are fighting 💔

oscarpiastri um where was my invite????? ⤷ youruser you can come when you have a mental breakdown over homework ❤️ ⤷ oscarpiastri oh.. hope you're doing okay ⤷ youruser this made me giggle yes i am doing okay thank you oscar 😭😭

lando BAN family's from formula 1 next thing we know they're going to get 1-2-3 positions for the rest of the season ⤷ charles_leclerc no need to be salty lando nowins ⤷ lando I WILL SLASH YOUR TYRES

usernineteen im living for this family we have in f1 like y/n is literally lestappen's son

[poorshadowspaintedqueens]

I have spent my life studying premodern European literature.

Let's start there. You cannot study premodern Europe without grappling with the fact that you're going to end up reading things that are absolutely horrifying from a modern perspective. This goes double if you're from a marginalized group, triple if you had to learn the actual meaning of the word "intersectional" to define how you fit into the world.

There are works of art (books, films, music, visual art) that I love--and I do mean love, as in baked into my very soul and being--that were created by people who, if they met me on the street, would spit in my face at best and possibly do far worse. I have studied these books, learned them through and through, taught them to other people as things I love. But I will never be able to unsee or ignore the fact that the author would have seen me, a fellow human being, as subhuman.

This requires time and patience. It requires sitting with yourself, with what you love, and understanding that just because you love it, that doesn't make it perfect or right. Human beings are flawed, and so is our art. To deny that is to deny everything that went into that art.

Nor is it as simple as throwing up one's hands and yelling about Barthes and the death of the author. Because art (of any sort) is not produced in a vacuum, nor should is be treated as such. You cannot properly understand any artwork without understanding its context.

And, let's be clear: Terrible people can produce beautiful art. Richard Wagner was a piece of shit trashfire, but Isoldes Liebestod is hard-wired to make me cry.* Perhaps more relevantly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Joss Whedon were foundational to my understanding of media and to my own writing style. I still see fragments in my writing to this day. Does that make me a bad person for having been influenced by a bad person? I like to think not. But I'm also willing to look back on Buffy with fresh eyes and see the flaws alongside those things I still love about it.

In a sense, it really is about perspective. And maybe the problem with so many of these viral posts is that they're being blasted out before anyone has taken the time to think about them. It took me a long time--not to mention 4 years of graduate school and 10+ of teaching--to get to where I am now. We shouldn't expect everyone to immediately figure out how to read critically, and it's not fair to dogpile people for things they haven't learned yet. But this goes both ways--if you like a thing, and somebody points out a problematic aspect of the thing, maybe stop assuming they're wrong and consider you might not know as much as you think you know.

* The fact that Jessye Norman sings it so divinely would probably also make Wagner really mad.

Of course, it borders on stating the obvious to point out that all the people in the notes of that one txttletale post going "actually no, conservatives ARE incapable of making good art because good art requires empathy/compassion/kindness/understanding other people's perspectives/[insert vaguely good-sounding virtue that conservatives supposedly lack here]" are just mentally doing the whole "every media i like is secretly leftist" thing.

But digging down further and on a less obvious note, I think the reason WHY so many liberals and vibes-based leftists are constantly doing the "every media I like is secretly leftist" thing is because they don't actually fundamentally disagree that much with the basic assumptions about the world that support conservative ideologies, they just dislike when they manifest in the form of explicit bigotry.

So when those assumptions are baked into a piece of art (especially a piece of art that is *good*) in the form of undertones instead of explicit bigotry they just come off as The Way The World Is and completely fail to register as conservative to them.

[wholemeallbread]

chat noir!shidou seems like a flirt to many, but you know it's a lot worse than that. he makes it obvious that he wants you, and feels no shame no matter how much you discourage him or tell him to focus on... you know... saving lives.

chat noir!shidou is much too touchy for his own good. he always finds a way to hold your hand or brush his fingers over your waist. and he always gets away with it, because somehow he makes the room in his mind to touch you instead of paying attention to the most stressful part in the situations you get yourselves into.

chat noir!shidou would actually respond to your call if you ever rang a bell from far away. it doesn't matter if you're trying to ridicule him, because he'd actually be into it. he's really into anything if you're the one doing it to him.

chat noir!shidou thinks you look way too fine for your own good when you're akumatized. he's almost tempted to just leave you like that so he could admire the new look. of course, he knows things would never be that simple. he has his fun with it before he helps you though.

chat noir!shidou turns off his silly mode as soon as your life is in danger. sure, he doesn't take his "job" too seriously, but he sure as hell would drop everything to make sure you're safe and okay.

chat noir!shidou can't help but wonder who you really are behind the mask. no matter how curious he is, he doesn't make the effort to find out, because that little bit of mystery is what keeps him pursuing you. everything's more thrilling when he doesn't really know who he's fighting crime with.

[3liza]

some of the people who post on lost media forums about being traumatized for 40 years from seeing a mildly "scary" or even just suspenseful scene from a movie when they were a young child sound like they have clinical symptoms of rumination OCD and/or non-complex PTSD and should maybe get standard therapy about it.

having moments of fear that imprint on you for the rest of your life, even if the moment isn't scary in retrospect or doesn't "seem" like it should have affected you so much is normal for kids, it's just part of your brain development at that age to be very very squishy and impressionable, and I'm not sure if "fear periods" is a thing in human child development like it is with dogs but children under the age of around five do seem to go through weeks or months at a time where they're just suddenly scared of everything for no reason and I think probably a lot of these inexplicably traumatic exposures occur in these periods. anyway there are good therapeutic techniques for this specific kind of trauma and they help a lot.

some of these people describe having intrusive thoughts about this stuff or obsessively looking for the media or asking people about it inappropriately in settings where it isn't acceptable socially. if you're haunted by something like that to that extent it's no longer just an interesting lost media post, it's something you should and can get professional help with.

i also suspect a lot of the more severe cases experienced an actual, worse trauma that is just associated with the lost media they're describing and they haven't been able to connect the dots yet or maybe haven't fully recalled the actual primary event. not "repressed memory" stuff, but often a child brain doesn't register a traumatic event AS traumatic until years later when you'll remember something fucked up happened to you that you wrote off as a normal event at the time, maybe even something everyone dealt with, but really screwed you up, and only recalling it in the right circumstances and context will allow your adult self to recognize it was harmful

OCD can also turn an actual not-a-big-deal incident into a source of unreasonable fear, preoccupation, avoidance and rumination.

anyway this just occurred to me watching a YouTube video in the background where yet another person describes typical trauma symptoms around a very tame "horror" scene that they have been dealing with daily since they were four or five. that's not normal and there are ways to process it with with help from someone! this is a type of trauma (single incident trauma) which is easier to treat and get rid of as an adult than stuff thats a repeated exposure or living situation type trauma (like domestic violence or childhood neglect). you don't have to deal with it on your own

[daylighted]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤSHIELD ! READER.

meet indy . . . properly, because for the entirety of her life, she's been a pretty prop to the only supe capable of handling her, and nothing else. frederick vought was a cruel man, but he was intelligent beyond measure, and with soldier boy out of commission, it was the perfect time for the iconic shield of soldier boy's to be recycled & reused . . . until an even more outlandish idea came into the doctor's mind. a little compound v and a lot of determination ended up with a shield robbed of its durability & an indestructible girl — just in time to put soldier boy back in his place.

WOMAN OF STEEL !! the name indy comes from the word indestructible, the one factor that ben asked for in a shield constructed for him. man could tear and bleed, even if it did not debilitate him. this was a trait also was translated in the scientific creation of indy; the girl created from the shield was impossible to break, or to mar.

WORDS LIKE BULLETS !! indy has been under the legend's careful & watchful eye since the death of frederick vought, not trusted to be let loose as one of vought international's esteemed superheroes, or amongst the civilians themselves. it is not confirmed, but theorized by the legend himself, that indy's "unrivaled cruelty" and "lack of compassion" are not her fault, but instead soldier boy's, for fostering an aggressive environment that effected more than just the people surrounding him, including his titanium shield.

BATTERED & BEATEN !! it is no secret that the shield, in soldier boy's possession and care, endured abuse like nothing else. deflecting bullets, and superhuman fists, and abilities that transcended anything human beings should be capable of. a lot of indy's brash aggression stems from the defense mechanism triggered in life-or-death situations; capable of handling the hurt but not immune to the human instinct to flinch away from hurt after everything she'd been through.

LEGEND IN THE MAKING !! how indy was created is something that isn't known. the main scientist handling her fruition has long been dead, and the scientists who assisted in it are, if not sworn to secrecy, too old to recall the experiments and testing that went on in the original vought laboratories. though, there are some clear indicators in how it effected indy, in the way she flinches at the mention of doctors and testing.

A LIFE WITHOUT LOVE !! there's no surprise in the fact that indy and ben would clash. indy went through hell in soldier boy's care, and then some more in the creation of her human identity. it was thought and expected that the two would get along considering that, back in the day, ben went nowhere without her on his arm, but the trauma rooted itself deep into both of them, and knowing nothing else, the two end up in arms more often than not.

THE GIRL IS A GUN !! it is already a lot for the boys to handle on their own: one of the world's first supes, and the human personified version of that supe's shield, now under their supervision and care while they work to dismantle vought. it is only amplified and made worse by utter dismay evoked between indy and ben whenever they are in the same room together. the only thing that they can do is hope that vought gets caught in the destruction the two make together, because there is no telling if their relationship will sour or sweeten with time.

—ㅤㅤㅤBROKEN PIECES !! ㅤ ๋࣭ ㅤ ⭑ ㅤ ⋆ ㅤ ⭒ ㅤ ˚ ㅤ ｡ ㅤ ⋆

. . . or, the chronological timeline of shield!reader. find the full shield, including shards, in all of its glory here ㅤ — ㅤdiscuss shield!reader nation here !! taglist for indy coming soon.

shield!reader interactive version coming soon, only found on c.ai.

01. TBD.

—ㅤㅤㅤSHARDS OF TITANIUM !! ㅤ ๋࣭ ㅤ ⭑ ㅤ ⋆ ㅤ ⭒ ㅤ ˚ ㅤ ｡ ㅤ ⋆

. . . or, the pinnacles of thoughts and headcanons about shield!reader. join the discussion in the link above !!

ㅤㅤㅤ⛨ TBD.

notes. baby!reader's impact has gone global. everyone say thank you baby for all of the incredible things inspired by her & thank u dahlia for making this post bc it actually about killed me trying to find funsie words for all of these things ok. anyways biggest shoutout to @theosaurous for planting this idea in my mind i hope u love the flower it will grow into.

again layout inspired by my pookie twin @deansbeer <3 !!! bc as hard as it is every time it EATS every time.

tags. @titsout4jackles @honeyryewhiskey @ultravi0lence14 @figthoughts @stereotypicalbarbie @whyyouegg @eepwtf @rositaslabyrinth @rubyvhs @jensenacklesballsack @abox-of-rocks @sunsbaby @bluemerakis @jollyhunter @misatxox @angelblqde @bombarda-babe @unfortunate-brat @funkycoloured @chevroletdean @chiierful @cowboysandcigarettes @voidsuites @bitchykittenconnoisseur @beausling @soldiersgirl @dulcescorderitas @hyacinnths @blushpinkdoll @mccartneyqp @svbnra + all other soldier boy lovers if u want added / taken off pls lmk !

[trek-tracks]

Something that I think is interesting about McCoy and Spock's dynamic with each other is that neither of them verbalize their affection, instead preferring to show it via action. The fact that they are simultaneously extremely different and extremely similar, I think, is both the cause of much friction and why that friction is so compelling. It's not just that they're philosophical opposites, it's that, practically, they're often alike with a different veneer or mask. (They probably wouldn't get to each other so much if they didn't recognize this to at least some extent.) Neither of them are much with words that acknowledge their importance to each other; it's Kirk who says, "I need you. Badly!" or "I need him."

In the James Blish novelization of Bread and Circuses, McCoy thinks, "I am very fond of this man," but he says, "I know. I'm worried about Jim too." In The Immunity Syndrome, he can't say "Good luck, Spock" until Spock is out of earshot. Even when he's talking to Kirk, he expresses affection obliquely with lines like "Don't destroy the one named Kirk," and when he's on the verge of death, he expresses his affection to Spock by telling Spock, "You've got a good bedside manner," a nod to McCoy's own caring profession that serves as his highest honour.

While McCoy is driven by emotion, he also relies on it as a mask, just like Spock relies on logic as a mask and excuse for any action he decides to take. We see McCoy take action for Spock again and again at the risk of his own life. He rescues him in The Galileo Seven after fighting with him half the time they're stranded on the planet. He volunteers to die in Immunity Syndrome, and he convinces Kirk to save Spock later at great risk. He risks his own mind and life to save Spock in Spock's Brain. He injects himself with an untested vaccine in Miri for many reasons, one of which being to let Spock get back to the ship. He risks his life to snap Spock back to himself in All Our Yesterdays. He defies thousands of years of Vulcan tradition so Spock won't become a murderer. He holds Spock in By Any Other Name.

He agrees to stay on a doomed spaceship/planet so that Spock won't be executed. He tries to stay with the Platonians because Spock is being humiliated (in fact, many of his nice words about Spock are defending Spock to other people--in The Menagerie to Kirk, in Plato's Stepchildren to the Platonians, in The Omega Glory to the villagers...calling him "the best first officer in the Fleet" when he thinks Spock can't hear (or does he? It would be a great excuse).

And then, of course, there's The Empath, where he allows himself to be tortured to death to prevent Spock from being tortured to insanity--not death, but probably worse than for a Vulcan. Much as Bones says he doesn't understand Vulcan dignity in S2, I think he has a clearer idea in S3, considering how much he risks himself for Spock's mind. I'm not even getting into the movies, but Spock clearly trusts McCoy with his soul, and McCoy clearly proves worthy of that trust--and yet, in the same film, we get the "Jim, be careful" "WE will" exchange, with Spock still withholding the words. It becomes almost a game of tacitly acknowledged chicken by the end of the films, with neither willing to break.

The funny thing is that, while both Spock and McCoy show their regard for each other through actions and not words (and both can be genuinely cruel in words that completely belie their actions), many viewers can see Spock's bluff, but not McCoy's, taking everything the latter says at face value. Perhaps that's because they expect McCoy, being emotional, to mean everything he says and say everything he means. That's pretty obviously not true. (Similarly, a lot of people tend to take Spock's self-aggrandizement and McCoy's self-deprecation at face value, but that's another discussion. There's also the theory that McCoy is reinforcing Spock's preferred Vulcanness by allowing him to push back against his statements.)

McCoy challenges Spock to verbalize his feelings instead of the logic he uses as a mask, and Spock in return challenges McCoy to verbalize the actual feelings he feels, not the ones he's expressing as a mask. But it would be so much less interesting if they both clearly said what they meant, instead of going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to save each other's lives.

This scene is so interesting to me.

We all know Bones accuses Spock multiple times that he isn’t able to love (while knowing it’s not true). Bones and some others around him even accuse him being heartless or unemphatic.

Spock IMMEDIATELY started holding Bones’ hands when he found him when Bones was unconscious. He looks worried and upset. He didn’t know if Bones will die, but even when Kirk came, which was after some time, Spock was still holding Bones’ hands and wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. He doesn’t try to wake him up. Just holds his hands.

It looks like he wanted to make sure that if Bones is dying, he won’t be alone. That he will probably feel that Spock is there.

This gesture is touching, and shows how human Spock is, how much he cares for Bones, didn’t want to leave him alone, didn’t go to search for Kirk. It is very touching.

This scene adds a layer to the scene in Bread & Circuses when Bones accuses Spock of being incapable to have a decent warm feeling, to Spock’s reaction “Really, doctor?”. Because he doesn’t want Bones to die not only because it is logical. Probably Spock hoped that Bones knows it, realizes it.

I wonder if Bones felt at this moment Spock’s grip.

It is interesting how Spock often shows signs of affection to Bones, but Bones still doesn’t acknowledge it. Why does Bones want for Spock to acknowledge his affections verbally? Why his actions are not enough for him?

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

78. don’t kick his ass (written)

prev // m.list // next

Looking at the ceiling, still feeling something between numbed and overwhelmed, Yeonjun convinces himself that he did what he had to do. It’s just a little break until he manages to get Yuna to stop harassing him. Once she’s out of the picture, all those feelings will go away. Once she’s gone again, he can go back to the life he’s worked so hard for, right? He knows he’s hurting the person he loves most in the world, but it’s all for a good reason. Surely, you will understand. He will explain and you’ll understand. Just not right now. Not when his old wounds are wide open and you can see his pitiful soul covered in blood. He just needs a few days, maybe weeks, and everything will be okay again.

He really wants to believe that, because it’s been just a couple of days and he’s already dying to talk to you and go back to how things were; how they’re supposed to be.

“Can you please calm down?” Dahyun sighs yet again.

Joshua’s been angry and anxious ever since he saw those posts. Just what the fuck is Yeonjun doing.

“I can’t!” He’s beyond exasperated right now. “She literally said nothing’s going on and yet has gone radio silence ever since. I need to know she’s okay, and she won’t talk to anyone. And I can’t go to Seoul ‘cause we’re closing an important deal and those fuckers insist on seeing me.”

“Hansol says he’s going,” she tries to reassure him.

“That’s way worse!” He complains.

As if sensing they were talking about him, Halson walks into the living room. He looks like he’s ready to kill someone.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get there.” He announces while he makes sure he has his passport with him.

“Just don’t kick his ass right away,” Dahyun pleads.

“I’m not making any promises,” Hansol rolls his eyes.

“She’s gonna hate us if you do,” Josh reminds him. “Just make sure to get both sides of the story.”

“We’re literally meddling in her private life, she’s gonna hate us regardless.” Sarcasm drips from his voice. “So I have to at least land a good punch on that fucker.”

Joshua can’t help but sigh again. Contrary to popular belief, Hansol is way more prone to be a lot more overprotective than he is, and that already says a lot. Of, course, Joshua knows he’s intense and kind of abrasive, but he’s never one to resort to violence. Josh admits he’s the bark, and Hansol is the bite. That’s why they make such a good team. And that’s why he didn’t want him to go alone.

“I really hope you guys don’t regret this,” Dahyun says hugging his waist.

“I think we will.”

During the flight, Hansol tries to think about something else. He really, really tries to write a song and even read the book he always carries around which title he’s already forgotten. He can’t. His mind goes back to his little sister and, by extension, to Josh.

He still remembers the day they met, they were both five and trying not to die of boredom at one of the fancy dinners their parents used to host all the time. Joshua’s chubby cheeks and proud grin are still clear in his mind, “I’m gonna be a big brother soon,” he remembers Joshua bragging. That summer, they met every day and Joshua would say he’d be his big brother too. He was bossy, even more than now, but he was fun. Joshua would try to teach him stuff and care for him, he really enjoyed flexing those few months between their birthdays. Hansol has to admit that he was a little jealous of Joshua’s unborn sister, he liked the attention and felt that the little girl would steal Joshua from him.

And then he saw her. So tiny and fragile, she stole his heart. “Can I be a big brother too?” He remembers asking Joshua. And it’s been like that ever since. He was there as much as he could and tried to help here and there. He thought little Yn would interfere with his time with Joshua, but it was Joshua who’d always tried to cut short his time with the little girl. He loved attending her tea parties and letting her and Karina paint his nails. He’s loved her ever since he first saw her, he’d give up his life for his sister. Blood doesn’t matter, that’s his sister. And he’s gonna make sure Yeonjun understands.

That’s what made him lose his mind in the first place. He was the first to welcome Yeonjun to their little family and even encouraged him to finally ask Yn out. He was really grateful for his presence in his sister’s life. He never expected that he would do something like this, especially completely out of nowhere.

“What the hell is going on?” He mutters looking out the window. There’s nothing to see, though, not besides some dark clouds in the distance.

Three days. It’s been three days since Yeonjun said he needed some space. You still can’t make sense out of his words. You tried texting him, calling him. You haven’t shown up to his place, though, you don’t think you could handle such a direct rejection if he refuses to see you even then. Where did it all go wrong? Everything was going great, better than great even. Everything was perfect.

Were you too pushy? Too clingy? Just too much? Or maybe he got scared? This was his first relationship after a really long time, after all. Maybe everything got way too serious way too fast. He did say he wanted to take things slow, see where it goes. But you thought you were on the same page, you thought you both had the same goals and desires. What if he was just trying to please you? What if you were just a means to an end? What if he was just trying to prove that he could be in a relationship?

But he said he loved you? Loved? When did you start to think about him in past tense? Isn’t he your present and future? Fuck. Everything is a little too overwhelming.

“I need to get out,” you say before grabbing your keys and going out.

You walk around for a few hours but turns out that that’s not enough to ease your mind. Your thoughts are still driving you crazy. Your heart still aching. And Yeonjun’s still missing. When did you get so used to him being around? You miss his jokes, his laugh. His yapping, his random stories. Every single part of him became a part of you. How is it possible to love someone that much in such a short time? His little quirks are engraved in your mind. And you miss him.

And then you see the best way to forget about everything. Even if just for a little while. You just want to forget. Life would be easier if you could just disappear until everything is right again.

“Just one drink,” you say before making your way into the bar.

Very bad idea.

notes:

please tell me you get the modern family reference 😭

joshua trying to be reasonable is my favorite thing ever

han is a real one

if you don't hate my writing and storytelling, you can help me choose my next story here lol

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