#IM HAPPY DYING INSIDE
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hey op can i write this into a fic please?? (this fic may or may not ever get published i have so many works in progress)
you're poison running through my veins
#EDDIE MUNSON PLUS ALICE COOPER#ALICE FUCKING COOPER#IM HAPPY DYING INSIDE#IM SCREAMING#POISON IS THE HORNIEST FUCKING SONG IT IS P E R F E C T
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currently watching emma's vlog (12 minutes in)
she mentions how danya said that soda's letter is a battle of the brothers: your blood family (soda and darry) versus your chosen family (dally and johnny)
i'm going to throw up and will need 2-5 business days to process this
#oh how i am tweaking!#what do you meaaaaan#his chosen family being the one there with him#and his blood family being so far but desperate for him to come home#the staging is despicable too#soda singing at pony as if he's there#but johnny and dally are the only ones physically there with him#and then darry comes on stage too#because despite his tough exterior he's dying inside#he just wants his baby brother to come home#this house aint a home#dont even get me started on the scenes before this#darry and dally fighting#yeah we greasers are just one big happy family aint it#oh im gonna be sick!#and there's also throwing in the towel#and then deaths at my door comes before all this too#and it's johnny and pony singing about their love for each other#because they've chosen each other as family#whether that's brothers or a qpr#qpr pbj#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#dallas winston#darry curtis#sodapop curtis#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#emma pittman#danya taymor
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A Moving Spin-off : Flying Donkatsu in California
💜 Zo In Sung & Han Hyo Joo in UNEXPECTED BUSINESS 3 (2023) 💜
Bonus:
#unexpected business 3#tvn#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#asianvarietymedia#asiancentral#variety shows#korean variety shows#zo in sung#han hyo joo#my edit#i tried so hard not to ship them#but im at the point of no return#but look at them they are adorbs#the chemistry is just exploding#they knew they had limited screen time in moving#so what do they do? start their own show!#we don't know the real score but i hope they will be happy in the future#we're all dying inside
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anyways. i truly believe that any "fan" of stranger things who hates mike wheeler does not understand the whole point of the show. like. make it make sense
#truly baffled by people's hatred for mike. we started the show off through his eyes and as he grows up and gets more confused about his#identity we're shown things from his pov less and less. he hates himself bc he can't be who he wants to be so by default he's acting in a#way the general audience doesn't like in later seasons. if you don't get that ''breaking out of the norm'' and ''being different'' are huge#themes of the show. no wonder mike seems like an awful character. but look deeper im BEGGING he's dying on the inside trying to make#everyone happy. trying to fit it. clinging to normalcy. in a life that's never been normal#cut him some slack !!!!#ok rant over btw if you don't like mike pls block me. k bye#mike wheeler#sarah.txt
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Old...
#happy borthday#2 meeeeee#my bday is alwas sad :[#dying inside#ikik its not midnight yet and its actually tmmr but im tired ok?#silly billy#art#oc#oc art#vtsom
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OK I SWEAR FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS LESBIAN I AM COMING BACK THIS MONTH GOD DAMN IT!!!
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help.
literally how am I supposed to start my book.
Ive looked at advice from a million authors, websites, professionals, editors, blah blah blah
"Start with action."
"never start with action."
"start with what you feel is right."
(And then there's the advice that sounds like my family advising me on behavior in social settings.)
"DO NOT UNDER ANY MEANS START WITH WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT. PLEASE. NO ONE IS GOING TO LIKE THAT."
I know so many authors struggle with this but if ANYONE has mastered beginnings of novels, please help me im dying
#struggling#writers community#writers block#writers life#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#creative writing#writer stuff#writers and poets#im dying#dying inside#send help#help#pls help#please help#what the fuck#also happy pride month
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apparently it's 'angel realises his feelings' night god damn
#* ˖ 🕸️ ⠀out of sins⠀›⠀( ooc ).#these replies have been a long time coming and im dying inside#and outside#let him stay with stolas#let him realise he cares about alastor#let him actually be happy for once#i say like i dont have control over this self sabotaging mess
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dybala stays at roma im extremely happy (im not a roma fan) (never cared for dybala before roma)
#the power of cock if u ask me my man is very happy he stays. and it’s kinda contagious#it’s also bc we’ve been apart for two months im dying inside and whatever connects me to him makes me happy#paulo dybala
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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i do often lament the bullshittery i got up to and ran my mouth about when i was deep deep in the comphet trenches (bc incredibly i struggled more w comphet AFTER i came out and even well into my current relationship - im just now untangling so much of it) but god at the very fucking least, at LEAST, thank GOD i never forgot my man hating roots. even at my WORST i was not harping on about how evil dykes and lesbians are for hating men.
#i will probably always struggle with it a little bit bc even in a relationship with a woman (that im MARRYING) it took like#years and years of self hatred and preemptive defeat finally being unwound after realising i could like#be a butch woman and not have kids and not ever date or sleep with cishet men. ever. i could actually marry someone i loved#i wasnt doomed. i had a whole life ahead of me that i could live with someone who made me happy rather than what was expected of me#bc its crazy even though i knew i liked women it felt like id always end up with a (cis) man whether i liked it or not#i never really took anything seriously bc it felt like i wasnt allowed or supposed to#i spent years and years over performing femininity trying to make the self hatred go away wondering why i never felt Right#why it felt like i was dying inside. and it makes me wanna scream because i wish i could tell past me that its okay#i dont think ive ever properly articulated how it felt but it was so suffocating and then being pushed further into like#fighting tooth and nail to even have a foothold in my own community bc i was seen as lesser for my bisexuality#made it so much harder to unpack those complicated feelings around my sexuality. bc i was fighting so hard to feel#like i was allowed to have and celebrate that in my own community bc god knows i dont feel at home with cishets#txt
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everybody it's our little babygirl's birthday!!!!!
everybody say happy birthday to him
#my#franz kafka#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAREST BABYGIRL#oh and btw thank u for you're just like me when i needed it the most#and also thank u for teaching me how to live while you were dying inside all along im soo emotional rn
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You know you've leveled up when your stalker finally blocks you for being too toxic 🤣😂
#after 5 years of begging and pleading to be left alone after the fucker tried to groom me at 19#freedommmmmm ahahahaha#working a drag brunch and dying inside bc of how early i worked#and as the show ended i see a message from fuckface on messenger#so i download and log in with the intention of saying fuck off.#like i always do#and im blocked!!!!!#long ass message saying im toxic and not to contact them anymore#BABE IVE BEEN WANTING THIS SINCE THE BREAKUP YOURE THE ONE WHO KEEPS ACTING CHILDISH 😂#all because i saw them trying to doxx me for shit i didnt do and sent an angry message#babe if id known all i needed to do was be that fckn mean I would've done it years ago#truly and truthfully#literally manic rn im so FUCKING HAPPY
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vodka and mountain dew >>>
#addiction#mental illness#life is hard#drinking#self h@te#dying inside#im going to kms#im just a girl#why#happy pills#whyyyy#antidepressants#life is not fair
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i kinda want to die inside when a few other models in the agency got offered $20k exclusive gig just for one photoshoot + video (with the exception that they’re not allowed to take any other gig thats promoting beauty products for a year, hence why it’s an exclusive gig, and theyre allowed to accept fashion gigs)
#i should be happy for them but im dying on the inside#one of them even refused because she didn’t like the brand image calling it tacky like 😭😭#do they not need money?? that kind of money could change someone’s life#im gonna throw up
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today i discovered hope.
#i made it myself out of tea-dyed paper and cardboard painted like cow print and string my nom waxed for me#and inside it i wrote 'i will make it'#'i will make it out of here. i will make it to happiness. i will make it and it wont be alone#but i will have done the work myself. it will have been me.'#and at the end i wrote 'today i learned how to trust'#amd some day a kid will ask what it is#and i will hand it to him and he will learn and discover just like i did. and the kid is me too. its going to be okay.#im going to be okay. i get to be okay. i dont need to rely on anyone else to get there. but i dont need to be alone.#i am loved. i am loved. it is beautiful. the human is the divine;#what else could truly be described as transcendent but the emotions we feel?#you are beautiful. look at the sky today. look at your hands and tell yourself that you can build happiness out of anything no matter what#and that you fucking will.#you fucking will.
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