#bc its crazy even though i knew i liked women it felt like id always end up with a (cis) man whether i liked it or not

[wolfisland]

i do often lament the bullshittery i got up to and ran my mouth about when i was deep deep in the comphet trenches (bc incredibly i struggled more w comphet AFTER i came out and even well into my current relationship - im just now untangling so much of it) but god at the very fucking least, at LEAST, thank GOD i never forgot my man hating roots. even at my WORST i was not harping on about how evil dykes and lesbians are for hating men.

[gwisingegooli]

yikes lol... i can’t believe that just happened...

i accidentally let it slip i was going on a tinder date to brian and he got belligerently drunk... when he ain’t sober he cray.... he told me to take all my shit and leave and he doesnt want to see me anymore and to just leave

he’s fucking yelling, stomping the ground and hitting his chest and shit and yelling

i’m just tryna dip but he keeps saying like NO all your shit

and it’s just like... thats hella unreasonable but i can’t really reason w this guy... i’m not worked up at all, just realizing theres no way i’m gonna get through to this guy

eventually the cops knocks on the door, and they question us separately... the cop questioning me checked if i was ever physically assualted but it wasn’t like that... the cops inside eventually talked brian down to letting me have one day to move all my shit...

one cop came out and was serious as fuck telling me that i had to move out. i was like oof, okay. i get you.

i just felt fucking bad, i knew he was yelling and shit but i didn’t know how to get the fuck outta there

the cops gave me a ride to amy’s place and i’m gonna crash here for the night. i have some stupid required club shit i need to do from 8:45 but afterwards i’m gonna go to the women’s center and they’re gonna help me find a place to stay...

sigh...

first of all i’m mad chillin, dont worry bout me, i be outta this mess. shouldn’t have played w fire. needed to realize i was playing fucking carelessly with some crazy fucking fire... i thought we knew what was going on but i was definitely being naive and irresponsible, cause id be really friendly and cutesy w him, which i obviously shouldn’t have been doing. even if i was being clear about him never having a chance. when he fucked up he gets so emo and enraged about this unresolvable shit but it’s just breaking his fucking heart.

i definitely brought this upon myself by not thinking and even trying to be in each other’s lives lol and me being me and him being him

just nope

anyways i’ll be safe and take care, i know yall worried about me, but dont worry too much cause i’m actually chillin

the cop questioning me recommended therapy and then was like its for students and i was like lol yah u right also i’m paying for it anyways

sigh....

the cops were so nice and handled everything really well, though. they made me feel comfortable, and i even managed to perk up a few times cause they were so nice and funny

i just can’t believe this happened, i’m in this situation. i know now i just needa fucking close this gd chapter... and honestly now brians outta my fucking life even though he’ll probably want me back later

things are totally cut clean. i don’t even care about him anymore cause we toxic to each other, jeez. fuck him, me first, i dont need to care about him. and i’m glad i gave him a reason to kick me out of his life, right? haha yikes

i’m in a good place in life and with who i am rn. this shit isnt phasing me. its just like smh i can’t believe this shit HAPPENED to me lol. like i’m homeless bc my ex flipped his shit on me and the cops had to come....... jeeeeeeez.......

yeah i know pretty smh but its all good i livin life and ownin shit and havin fun still

also my tinder date went fuckin awesommeee and i really met and connected w someone today so it was lit.

its just a wild end to a day that was p fucking great LMAO

pls leave ur thoughts and concerns below. always tryna be honest w yall, yall are truly a support system even if sometimes its like i know i know LOL i love all of yall and i always feel the love and i’m thankful for it. we a family.

thanks for followin my adventures and carin about me. i’m always just tryna do my best but still gettin into shenanigans and makin mistakes. ill just always grow and think about what i’d do better next time, and do it. peace. ✌🏻