#and also thank u for teaching me how to live while you were dying inside all along im soo emotional rn

[yaayviolence]

everybody it's our little babygirl's birthday!!!!!

everybody say happy birthday to him

[moccahobi]

Dear Diary [Jimin x Reader]

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff

Rating: E for everyone

Summery: You’re moving! Finally. Getting into a masters program in South Korea meant soooo much to you and it also offered the perfect opportunity to move in with your favorite pen pal and high school friend from an exchange: Park Jimin. A sweet and caring squirrel hybrid.

Word Count: 6.3k words

Genre: Fluff, Hybrid AU, Roommates AU, Friends to Lovers

A/N: OMGGGG. Formatting this was soooo annoying. Never again am I going to do so many dividers. It was not it chief. Lolol. I love this fic though! It is part of a collab for hybrids (check out the masterlist here) you should totally check them out! All the authors here are soooo amazing and their works are amazing in this too! Also! Thank you to @jung-hoseok-s-airplane​ and @spicykoreantatertots​ the two amazing people who betaed this fic for me! They helped soooo much!

Unlocking the door to your shabby apartment, you were struck by how empty it looked. It was really more of a ghost of your apartment at this point. You’d been slowly shipping your stuff over to South Korea for almost a month (really, as soon as you were accepted to Seoul University’s master program and Jimin agreed to be your roommate) and by now, all you had to take with you on your flight tomorrow was a small day bag with your necessities and a suitcase full of the clothes you’d worn this week. Your empty apartment really made the move feel real (something your job’s kind send off party hadn’t done). This move was real.

You had gotten accepted into your dream program across the world.

Tomorrow afternoon you’ll be leaving this area and moving in with Jimin.

You giggled and sat on your couch with a dazed smile stuck on your face. It wasn’t really your couch anymore was it? Your landlord was keeping all the furniture. Not that you really cared. How would you have possibly carted your large furniture across the world anyways? 

After almost four years of living here though… you’d be leaving behind many memories stored in this apartment. Like when one of your friends spent the night here after an evening of clubbing and ended up vomiting all over the rug you’d placed in the living space. He promised to pay for a deep cleaning the next day, which you took him up on… but then he just rented a steam cleaner. He was a funny person like that. Although… it was much less expensive than a cleaning service probably was. Looking back, you laughed at how worried you were of him finding one of your many journals stored on your bookshelf, so worried that you hid them under your bed. Not that it really mattered. He was a sweet friend and your journals just looked like notebooks.

Had you packed them? After shoving them under your bed all that time ago, you didn’t even think about looking back on them. Maybe if you hadn’t been reminiscing, you would’ve forgotten them here and lost them forever. Surely your landlord would just throw them away without a second thought. 

You’d been sleeping on an empty mattress and a small pillow for three days now, your comforter and sheets already in Korea with Jimin. You shuddered against your cold floor as you knelt down on the cold hard floor to grab your almost forgotten journals. With them in hand, you settled onto your pillow-less couch and carefully opened up the last journal you’d written. It was from the study abroad you did in South Korea in your last year of high school. Without that study abroad, you’d never have met Jimin and you most definitely wouldn’t be moving across the world for your masters program.

You wouldn’t want to do anything else though. Jimin was probably your best friend and this program was the opportunity of a lifetime. With a nostalgic smile on your face, you started to read.

Dear diary, 

Something crazy happened today! Ahhh! I was so shocked when Jimin, THE social butterfly of my school, came up and started talking to me. He’s a hybrid of some sort, not that it matters to me. He’s got a black bowl cut too… it looks funny with his furry pointed ears sticking out of it. Anyways, the conversation was a little stunted at first… I barely knew Korean and Jimin barely knew English but somehow we had a really good conversation. I am honestly so shocked. Here I thought that as an exchange student in South Korea, I’d just talk to other exchange students and mumble a few words to other students. I mean… I know Korean some but not much. It was… AHHH! I had so fun talking to Jimin. He’s so sweet and kind. I even added him on Kakao. He’s my first non-exchange family member on my Kakao. I can’t wait to get to know him more.

Dear diary, 

Jimin and I talk almost daily! Mostly through text because we don’t see each other much during school but that’s ok! He is in a lot more advanced classes than I but I think we are planning on meeting up for lunch this Wednesday. He even asked if I wanted to join him at the dance club but I said no… I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my only friend. Given, Jimin is so friendly and sweet that I bet he’d just laugh and try to teach me but still. Besides, he apparently competes. That’s what I’d heard from others at school at least. I don’t want to distract him from preparing for competitions. 

Dear diary,

I went to a karaoke booth with Jimin and some of his friends. It was so fun! Jimin’s friends were a little shy to talk to me but they opened up as we started to sing more. I didn’t expect them to be such weebs like me! Lol. They all joined in to sing the current theme song of One Piece. It was soo funny. The mic didn’t know who to focus on and we got such a baddddd score. Jisoo was sooo funny while singing (Jisoo is a sweet cat hybrid). Jimin is surprisingly a great singer though! I was surprised. Is there anything he is possibly bad at? I don’t know. 

After karaoke, he and I went to a park and just chilled. Instead of sitting at a bench, Jimin dragged me off to a small clearing and sat on a low tree branch. It was the first time I really thought of him as a hybrid because… like… sitting on that tree with his tail swaying slowly as he ate ice cream… I don’t know. It was nice to just be with him there but still. It didn’t help that he kept batting at me with his tail until I joined him on the branch. I could have sworn the branch shook as I joined! We probably both almost died because of that branch broke, we would have fallen! I am exaggerating… but still. 

You were such an extra kid at times. A laugh left you as you thought back on that afternoon spent talking while chilling on the tree branch. Now you knew there was no way you would have died even if the branch fell. The worst thing that would have happened would have been a broken bone (although with Jimin’s quick reflexes and hearing, he might have noticed the branch start to splinter before it even became an emergency for both of you). 

Looking over at the clock, you noted that it was almost nine at night. Jimin would wake up soon and start his last day roommate-less. You chuckled thinking about what he might be doing right now. Maybe he’d be meticulously rolling over his couch so that his hair wasn’t all over it when you first sat down, or he was washing all the blankets to make sure they were extra soft (in reality, he was probably hitting snooze for the 100th time that morning).  Either way, he was probably just as excited to see you again as you were. Sure you’d texted each other almost daily but it wasn’t the same. You both became super busy and the time zone difference made it hard to video chat often. 

Life happened and no amount of texting or video chatting seemed to make up for that.

For all you knew, Jimin looked so different from what you remember that when you arrive at the airport and look for him holding the “Welcome Y/n” sign he made, you will only be able to recognize him by the sign (and his tail… unless he dyed the dark brown tail to be some other color). 

Maybe you’d changed too. Your hair and style have undoubtedly changed… but would Jimin notice changes other than that? Maybe your scent had changed. You knew that hybrids had more sensitive noses and often identified people by scent (you learned that the hard way by trying to play hide and seek in the dark with Jimin and some of his friends at a party… never again). During your exchange, Jimin claimed you smelled like blossoms (from how you’d read about smells in the past, you knew there was more to one’s smell than just one thing but you didn’t push Jimin for more). Maybe you’d ask Jimin again sometime.

A vibration from your phone took you out of your thoughts and when you checked the notification, you chuckled. It was as if Jimin knew that you were thinking about him. 

Jimi: I built your bedframe~

Jimi: When your sheets arrive today I will make your bed. That way you don’t have to worry about all that after such a long flight. 

Jimi: Can’t wait to see u again!

You: Thank you

You: I am excited to see you soon too!

Looking down at your worn journals and gently rubbing their spines, you decided you wanted to have a journal for this journey too. Given your track record of starting and dropping journals, you’d probably only keep at it for a month or so but could still be very nice. There was one simple issue with your plan though, you didn’t have a notebook to write in… or a pen. Those things were in Korea by now. 

You’d have to leave the house to get that stuff… or you could just buy it at the airport tomorrow. The airport only sold overpriced stuff though… plus it would be cool to start writing now.

With that thought, you got up, put your shoes on, grabbed your wallet and keys, and walked to the closest general store. After little deliberation, you bought a slender black dotted notebook and gel pens. Excitement bubbled up inside you as you sat on your couch again, pen poised to write. This would be fun. 

Dear diary,

I am moving tomorrow. 

I am moving halfway across the world to live with Jimin, a squirrel hybrid and my best friend. I was accepted into my dream masters program and will be living in South Korea on a student visa. I am so excited to see Jimin again. Has he changed much or is he still the same old sweet guy who hid in trees to think and talks to strangers? I’ll know soon. 

Well… it won’t be that soon. I have to fly to South Korea first. 

It’ll be a long flight. I’ll arrive in Seoul tomorrow at 5pm and Jimin will take me out to dinner with some of his friends before we just relax at our shared apartment. Almost all of my stuff is already in the apartment. I’ve been shipping them across for a little over a month or so now. 

I am so excited. 

I should probably eat something and go to bed though. Tomorrow will be long and full of tedious airport procedures… yay! Note the sarcasm. 

Good night. 

Let’s see if I use you.

Dear diary,

It is almost time to board. I am so excited. When I was packing, I thought that I would be more anxious about the move and make a little sad about leaving my friends and family behind, but I don’t feel anxious or sad. Ok… I am a little sad. But my excitement outweighs my sadness. I’ll be leaving some friends behind but I will be making so many more! And I’ll finally get to see Jimin again as well. 

Oh.

My flight is about to board. I guess I will talk to you later then!

You were exhausted by the time you finally sat down in your seat, ready to see Jimin again and sleep in a made bed. The flight would be a long slog full of you getting up to use the bathroom, walking down the isles just to move, reading a book because it was one of the few forms of entertainment you had, and drinking lots of water. It was exhausting (somehow), yet time moved and eventually you found yourself staring out at Korea’s landscape. 

The city was alive and so pretty. For a moment you forgot that you were tired. Given the second you got up, you remembered it all again. Your legs felt sore and tired from sitting in one spot for so long and your eyelids were almost sheets of lead by now. As you waited for the people in front of you to leave the plane, you turned your phone back on (you’d bought a cellular plan last week for when you would be in Korea). As soon as it connected to your new plan, you were bombarded with excited messages from Jimin that he’d sent all through his day. From photos of food he’d cooked for your first dinner together to the ‘Welcome to Korea Y/n’ poster he made for you. It made you smile and  as you neared where he said he would be waiting for you, you grew even more excited once again. 

Would you get along with his friends?

Would your schedules match? 

Jimin came into view before you could keep thinking, his “Welcome to Korea Y/n” sign much bigger and grander than you imagined. There were two hybrids flanking either side of him, one you recognized as Jisoo from high school and the other you’d never met before. Even from the six or so meter distance you were at right now, you could see Jimin’s tail quiver excitedly. You sped up. Six meters couldn’t end soon enough. Jimin handed the poster to one of his friends and engulfed you in a suffocating hug, his warmth flooding you. Almost immediately, you felt a sense of home in Jimin’s arms, your bodies melding together nicely and a sense of calm settling over you. You didn’t want to let go. It wasn’t until one of his friends coughed awkwardly that Jimin released you and held you at arms length while giving you a once over. 

He looked good. 

Not that you expected much else from the dancer. Numberless days spent in the studio sculpted his body better than any artist you knew or studied could have done. Miraculously enough he’d somehow developed a sense of style. You especially loved his colorblocked button up shirt that seemed to shine in the dingy airport. 

“Nice to smell you again, Y/n-ah.” Jimin said, a shit-eating grin splitting his sweet smile as he winked at you.

A loud snort left one of Jimin’s friends, who appeared to be a pig hybrid. A cute pig hybrid at that. A shy blush bloomed across his handsome and plump face before he asked to take your suitcase (something you happily let him take). Jimin chittered quietly next to you as you quickly introduced yourself to his friends (the pig hybrid’s name Minju and the other, a mutual high school friend, Jisoo). The four of you started to leave the airport. 

“I wouldn’t have invited Jisoo and Minju to come and pick you up but I don’t have a car… I figured that you’d rather not lug all your stuff around the subway.”

“Out of all three of us – four of us I guess– I am the only one with a car.” Jisoo injected happily, twirling his keys around one of his slender fingers.

You laughed and nodded. Content to just listen to the three of them banter and talk as you were led to Jisoo’s car. They seemed content to embarrass each other by telling you about things they’ve done in the past that varied in severity from mistakes while dancing to drunken nights spent together. At one point, you even added in a story of Jimin and Jisoo fighting with sparklers, getting burned, and then burning all the sparklers as “revenge”. The banter didn’t stop until the car stopped and by then you’d felt as if you had spent more than just one year and a car ride with them.

“Now, Y/n-ssi, I know that you and Jimin talked about going back to his place and having a relaxing night–”

“We did and I’m excited to eat the food Jimin made. If it’s edible.” You added, smiling as Jisoo laughed and Jimin shouted.

“Yes. Well, Jimin had to make a deal with me to get me as a chauffeur.”

“It was a damn rotten deal.”

Minju laughed, “Whatever you say Chim. He’s still gotta honor it. So we are getting some food.”

A large and towering building faced you from outside the car and if the sign was anything to go by, it was more than just a restaurant. It was a karaoke place. A smile grew on your face as you looked up at it. Tonight would be fun… even if you were tired.

Dear diary,

Tonight was amazing. Sure I’d hoped to just settle into Jimin’s and my apartment and go to bed early after eating… but instead Jimin treated Minju, Jisoo, and I to dinner at a karaoke place. I’d have to look but it might have been the same place Jimin, Jisoo, some of Jimin’s friends, and I went to in high school. Not that it matters too much. We had so much fun! By the end of the night I even had Jisoo’s and Minju’s phone number too. Hopefully we can all be friends. 

Jimin has changed in ways I hadn’t noticed when we talked online. He seems to have picked up this habit of chittering. I want to try to figure out if there is something that causes him to chitter or if it just happens. Near the end of the night I tried paying attention to that but it was hard. Almost always when he started chittering, I was doing something. It’s good to be around him again. I missed him more than I realized.

Dear Diary, 

I start classes tomorrow! Yay!!! I also have a job interview tomorrow… which is less exciting. I knew that I would need a job and that I would have to wait until I had officially signed the lease (which happened literally the day after I moved in), but it was still so much work! Jimin has been helping me through which has been suuuuper helpful. After he comes home from the studio and eats– I have been cooking for him since he’s been busier than me– he’s been helping me modify and send in my resumes to places. It’s nice. We sit next to each other on the couch and just… put our heads together to get it done. 

After finishing that, he and I watched a movie after (this has happened two times!). We’ll cuddle together and watch some movie Jimin’s decided I need to watch. He’s a good cuddle buddy. I’ve enjoyed it. Well… wish me luck on my job!

“You’re back? That was fast! I barely had time to finish making dinner!” Jimin called out as you entered, tired from a long week (more like a long month or two by now) of classes and work but nonetheless happy to be home with Jimin. 

Throwing your bag on the closest chair, you went to him and gave him a tight side hug. Almost immediately, you felt some of your built up stress leave you. He was magical like that. You could be having a horrible day and just the sight of your best friend would make it all so much better. The nights where you would sit on the couch together and read or watch tv or just talk were your favorites. Jimin’s head would slowly drift into your lap and you would start to play with his soft hair and ears, your eyes trailing his beautiful face. Tonight would probably be one of those nights if you had any say in his evening plans. 

Jimin’s tail quivered and tickled your nose.

“I am sorry you had such a rough day, Y/n-ah.” Jimin said with a whine and you felt him move to set whatever he was holding down.

“It’s life, I guess.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, ”Jimin turned around and started hugging you tightly as well, gently rubbing his cheek against your neck, “I don’t like it when you’re this stressed, Y/n-ah. Let me take care of you tonight. I don’t want you stressing anymore tonight.” 

You laughed but gave in as Jimin started leading you to the couch before he started to bring the food he made into the living space as well. Soon enough, you were being coddled by Jimin who was making sure you ate and cuddling you as the two of you watched some random show. Sleep didn’t find you that night though. For some unknown reason, butterflies were hatching in your stomach and all you could do is feel them flutter around while wondering why you were possibly feeling such flutters. 

Less than a month later, as snow started falling down rapidly, you found yourself in a similar situation. It was your turn to make dinner, which wasn’t a problem because it also happened to be one of the rare days you had off. It was almost 8 at night by the time you finished dinner, the sun long set and Jimin would be home soon. You’d just finished setting the table and were scared by how harshly Jimin slammed the door shut. Normally he was so careful with closing the door, respectful of your neighbors and not wanting to damage anything. 

“Jimin-ah? Is that you?”

“Who else would it be? Have you been giving spare keys to your friends?”

You laughed and grabbed his backpack from him, “Aish. Why would I do that? We agreed not to. How was your day?”

Jimin walked into his room, his door open as he started changing. All the while he was venting. The students didn’t catch on to his newest dance as fast as he’d hoped and during break he heard them complaining. Then he ended up needing to take on an extra class because one of his coworkers bailed and he didn’t have time to practice for his showcase next week. Which was also a complete mess because everyone was being complete idiots, not that Jimin would ever tell them that.

“I’ve been looking forward to dinner all day though.” Jimin said with a large smile on his face as he sat down at the table, you joined him.

After dinner, you and Jimin sat on the couch and as Shrek was playing, he curled up next to you and rested his head on your lap, demanded pets. You wanted to laugh and make fun of him for being so clingy but refrained. He was so stressed. Now wasn’t the right time to make fun of him and his vulnerability. Plus, part of you relished in him wanting cuddles from you. 

Dear Diary,

I am sorry that I’ve been neglecting you. Lol. I’ve been so busy! Being a student full time with a part time job is stressful. Who would have thought? Jimin’s been stressing sooo much over his latest dance performance. It is honestly stressing me out. 

It probably isn’t healthy for him either. He literally spent the whole weekend practicing at the studio… I dropped off lunch for him both days. AND yesterday was one of his days to make dinner and instead of telling me that he couldn’t, he simply didn’t return to the apartment until, like, 10pm. I was so worried. THEN! He got upset at me for assuming he’d be cooking when his show is this Friday. Like, sorry I wasn’t informed that you wouldn’t be. 

More importantly though, I am worried about Jimin. He used to come to me before his performances and we would talk. I was a person he could turn to for stress relief, but all he’s done leading up to this performance is snap at me and hide away in his studio in preparation. I don’t want him to be this stressed out… 

What should I do?

By the next day, you’d figured out what must be done. You were going to forcefully bring Jimin home and the two of you would relax. All of Jimin’s favorite foods were laid out on the living space’s coffee table and you’d even gotten some extra skin care stuff because you knew Jimin loved that. This night would be all about relaxing. Hell, you were even prepared to massage Jimin’s gross feet and back. You’d do anything to make sure that Jimin could relax some. 

You just had to… go to his studio and interrupt him in the middle of his practice… and forcefully bring him home. 

No big deal. You could do it.

Right?

Right.

With a deep sigh, you gave your relaxation set-up a final once over and left the house. It was already 5pm and if you were going to make Jimin relax, you were going to need to start it soon. All throughout driving to Jimin’s studio, you were thinking over the many ways you could try to convince Jimin to relax and when you finally made it to the studio, you realized another issue: 

You had no idea which room he had rented out today.

With an awkward smile and a nod at the receptionist, you made your way into the building. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too hard to find Jimin… 

Of course it was hard. He just so happened to be in the third floor studio furthest from the stairs. When you found his room, you noticed he wasn’t alone. Minju was also visiting him. Neither of them noticed you approaching the door. Both were sitting and talking and when you reached the door you started to be able to hear tidbits of what they were saying.

“You’re going to… Seriously?”

“Yeah. I figured it’d be a super sweet way to confess. It’s why I am stressing so much about this performance. It has to be perfect.”

Oh.

You didn’t open the door.

Jimin liked someone? 

Why didn’t you know?

You were best friends right?

Best friends were supposed to tell this stuff. 

Sadness and disappointment filled your stomach and you contemplated turning around and just letting Jimin practice. Clearly this was important to him. You didn’t want to get in the way of him and another person.

“I don’t know man. Y/n… like this.”

“Like you would know? You’ve known her for the equivalence of a year and then some! I have been… five years now. I was… and as she celebrated!”

“Woah, Jimin-ah… I’m going to go now. Good luck.”

What?

Your brain was short circuiting. He liked you? You must have misheard that. That wasn’t possible. Jimin was… he was a catch and you were just you.

Did you even think of him that way? 

“Oh! Hi, Y/n-ah. Crazy seeing you here!” Minju practically shouted, a smirk on his face as he looked back at Jimin. 

Fuck! Somehow you managed to mumble a hello to Minju before shuffling into the dance studio and looking at Jimin. He looked tired. He also looked shocked and afraid. 

You weren’t supposed to hear what you just heard.

“O-Oh… Y/n-ah! What are you doing here?” 

“Well… I, uhhh, I came because I was worried about you. You’re coming home whether you like it or not and you’re going to relax with me.” You tried to be assertive but all the gusto you’d worked up seemed to have disappeared with Minju. 

“O-Ok.”

“How much of that c-conversation did you hear, Y/n-ah?”

You sighed, “I…,” Were you about to be honest about this? 

Did you want him confessing in front of a crowd of people?

No.

“I think I heard you say that you were planning on confessing to me after your performance?” You didn’t sound sure of yourself, not in the slightest. Not that you knew how anyone could possibly be sure of themselves in such a situation. Jimin himself seemed to deflate, his eyes wide.   

“Fuck. This isn’t how you were supposed to find out. I had–”

Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his confirmation of wanting to ask you out.

Why?

Did you have a crush on him?

“So you were planning on confessing?”

“Yeah? I am so sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. Fuck. I didn’t think this through. We’re roommates. This–”

“I’d be down for a date…” 

“What?” Jimin jumped up, his tail quivering and ears twitching.

“I’d be down for a date. I… I don’t know if I like you back, romantically at least… but I might and I won’t know unless we try.” Jimin looked at you with shock and you started to feel much, much smaller than Jimin.

“What? Really?”

You nodded.

“Omo! Omo! You won’t regret this one bit!” Jimin was bouncing around the room, excitement clearly evident on his face as he celebrated. 

Next thing you knew, you were being pulled into a tight hug, Jimin gently rubbing your neck and repeatedly saying “thank you”. Those damn butterflies never left and as you looked at him, you started to really enjoy the idea of dating him. 

He was your little squirrel… but he wasn’t that little.

“When do you want our first date to be? Oh! I need time to plan! Can we have it after my performance? I really need to keep practicing for it… even if I’m not confessing to you after it anymore. Is that ok with you?” Jimin pulled away from the hug, holding you at arms length and looking worried once again. His brows were furrowed and his teeth worried away at his plump lips.

Huh… You’d never noticed just how cute his plump lips were.

“Hmmm… no.” Jimin paled once again, “Our first date… will be… right now.” You said with a smile and a laugh as his brows furrowed deeper. 

You reached up and soothed the space between his brows with a soft coo, “You’re super stressed, Jimin-ah. I don’t enjoy seeing you stressed. I planned to take you away from the studio tonight. I have skin care and food back home… and if we want we can also go to your favorite bibimbap restaurant before going back to the apartment. How does that sound?” 

Jimin looked conflicted, his cute beady eyes searching your face and moving around the room as he thought. Unless he spoke, you wouldn’t know what he was thinking over and you had half a mind to ask him to speak but instead, you simply waited for Jimin to come to a decision.

“I mean… I was hoping to have some really extravagant first date,” He started but he had already moved to his bag at the side of the room, “This does sound like a great date though… maybe more of a second date or a third date in my opinion–”

“Let’s count it as our second date then. No need to split hairs, Jimin-ah. I’ll wait for you outside the locker room.”

Without giving Jimin time to say anything else, you left and made your way down the stairs to where the locker rooms were. Jimin ran quickly down the stairs and bolted into the locker room, his soft brown ears pinned to his head from how fast he was going. You laughed before settling onto the floor outside the locker room and playing one of the games on your phone. It would be a flip of the coin to see how long Jimin would take. You were personally betting that he is so excited to go on the date that he rushes and is out in fifteen, but he could also want to look good for the date and in turn take an hour. 

Not that he didn’t always look good. 

Even when you just thought of him as a friend, you knew he looked good. Did you think of him as more than a friend? Possibly, yeah. The idea of going on dates with him and being romantic with him sounds amazing. You were really excited to see how this date will go. Distractedly, you tapped away at your game, your mind in la-la-land as it started to think up a future with Jimin. 

“Ready, Y/n-ah?” Jimin asked when he finally finished in the changing room. 

In the end, he took a whole hour and a half to get ready and you were almost positive that you saw Jisoo sneak into the changing room with a bag from your apartment, his sleek tail almost hit you in the face as he exited the locker room. As you looked up at Jimin, you were once again struck by just how handsome he was. He styled his hair away from his face somehow and he looked unfairly good in his black skinny jeans and an oversized sweater. 

You clambered up onto your feet, your legs numb from sitting in one spot for so long, and nodded at him with a shy smile. Gingerly, as if he was scared of breaking you, he grabbed your hand and the two of you left the dance studio. 

Dear Diary,

Jimin asked me out! I was so shocked! Like… it isn’t bad at all… It is actually nice. Really nice. I like it a ton… and even though we’ve only gone on one date so far, I am really starting to like the idea of dating Jimin. He is so… so cute and kind and attentive. We got bibimbap and then just did skincare and stuff. 

Something I am really glad about though is that I found out tonight. Apparently, Jimin was hoping to ask me out Friday after his performance… which would have been so embarrassing… (Imagine the pressure and… PDA is roughhh)… but I overheard him talking to Minju. Gosh. I wonder how Minju thinks of this. Did Jimin text him that we started dating? Is he just waiting until we see each other next? I don’t know what I’d prefer. 

But uhhh… Jimin and I talked about having a “real” first date after his performance. I’m a little apprehensive though… I don’t want him to be exhausted during our first date. I trust Jimin though. He knows himself better than anyone else and if he thinks that he can handle a date after his recital… then so be it. 

AHHH! I am so excited! Wish me luck. I really hope this works out. 

You adjusted anxiously in the theater seat, your dress feeling all too tight in all the wrong places as you looked over the recital directory. Jisoo and Minju were next to you, glancing at you and smirking every once in a while. Jimin most definitely told them that you’re dating… and it doesn’t help that you showed up to the recital over-dressed in preparation for your date with Jimin afterwards. Which was at some super fancy place… how he roped you into that? You don’t know. You were just glad that he’d agreed to go dutch. There wasn’t any way in the world that you’d let him pay for both of your meals at such an expensive restaurant. 

The recital hall was packed, people murmuring and talking excitedly. All of it stopped though when the lights dimmed and the host (a stout looking woman with some sort of large ears on her head) came on to introduce people. Soon enough the recital started and you became entranced by the many dancers who flounced around on stage. They all seemed so… natural up on the stage. Your breath was completely taken away when Jimin performed though. He was practically flying on stage and the way he moved was so… graceful and fluid. All too soon he was done. He’d taken the show. All throughout the rest of the recital you were transfixed. Jimin’s dance was playing on repeat in your mind, your breath stolen and thoughts completely empty. Soon enough, the show finished up and everyone around you was cheering. Almost half-heartedly, you joined along and followed Minju and Jisoo to where the meet-up was. 

Why were you so anxious about seeing Jimin now? You were about to go on a date with him and yet all you could think about was his dance. In no time, Jimin was bouncing over in a nice suit of his own. 

How were you supposed to function? 

Not only was he the best dancer in… in the world but he was also undoubtedly the most handsome man you’d ever met. The three were talking around you but you were still transfixed. A hand gently touched your back and you jumped. 

“Are you ok, Y/n-ah?" 

It was Jimin. He was looking at you with concerned eyes and a soft smile. Minju and Jisoo were gone. You two were alone. 

"I… Yeah. You were amazing out there. I am just… speechless.”

Jimin laughed quietly, a smug smile on his face as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“You’re ready for our date?" 

You nodded excitedly, walking out of the theater with Jimin in tow. This was going to be an amazing night. 

Dear Diary,

Tonight was AMAZING. I know I was apprehensive before about dating Jimin but OMG IT WAS SOOOO GOOD. He was such a gentleman and when we held hands I felt butterflies erupt and it just.. It felt so nice. Tonight literally couldn’t have go-

Dear Y/n’s Diary,

I promise to take good care of her. We had a great night and I plan on making her my girlfriend soon. Now if you excuse us, I need cuddles from her.

Jimin.

[clockworkgraystairs]

Christmas Dinner || Jurdan X-mas in July

AHHHH there is more Christmas!Jurdan!!!!!!!!! 🎄🎄

Rating: T

Summary:  The Duarte's are hosting their Christmas dinner and Vivi sets a trap for Jude to bring his boyfriend and introduce him to the family.

I guess this can be considered a little prequel to You got me trippin? 

This is also my first time posting somethin in 1st person sooo...let’s see how it goes lmao

Tags:  @jurdannet @jurdannetrevels @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @sweetlyvillainous @aesthetics-11 @thesirenwashere @jurdanhell @demydreamer-otaku-and-book-lover @nightbringer @b00kworm @mysweetvillain @thefolkofthefic @yafandomsdotnet @vanessa172003​

[if you wish to be tagged/untagged or if I forgot to tag you pls let me know!]

A massive thank you to Becca @sweetlyvillainous​ for betaing this for me!! Love u 🧡

Masterlist             Read on AO3

This is a terrible, terrible idea I keep repeating myself.

If I’d shown a little more steadiness with my sister I wouldn’t be in this situation. I knew she was nervous about presenting her girlfriend to the family, specially to our father. And because she is extra as hell, she couldn’t choose another date that wasn’t on Christmas Eve. For weeks now she’d been texting me, grumbling about how was she going to be able to pull it off. I told her to relax and just go with it.

What I didn’t expect though, was for Vivi to arrive out of nowhere to the school where I work, talking nonsense about me bringing a fake date to dinner with hopes of taking the attention away from her. 

After spending 15 minutes trying to convince her it is not necessary for me to do that, her insistence is such I end up babbling how bad that idea is since I already have a boyfriend, and fake dating someone else would certainly create problems.

Big mistake.

Looking at me with something like betrayal in her eyes, now she starts questioning me about that boyfriend who I’d never talked about before. I bite my lip. When it comes to personal stuff I prefer to keep it private, even with my own family. I have my reasons. 

And just because luck is not on my side today, in the middle of her inquiries I hear a faint “Hey, babe!” behind me. I groan. Of course. Of course he had to arrive in that moment. 

We both turn to look at him. Cardan approaches us wearing that mischievous grin reserved only for me, so different from the polite smile he uses with his students. His hair is tied up in a bun as he also wears it for work, few curls escaping it in the most adorable way. 

With a pang of panic, I notice Vivi noticing how dumbfounded I’m looking at him. Her eyes light up in a way that I know means nothing good. I frown at her. 

“I was looking for you on the cafeteria, one of your students told me you were here.” He pauses. “I- didn’t notice you were busy though, sorry.”

“Not at all!” Vivi says with exaggerated enthusiasm. “I’m Jude’s older sister, Vivi! You must be her lovely boyfriend.”

“Oh, yeah I am. Nice to meet you!” If I didn’t know him so well I wouldn’t notice the slight blush on his cheeks or the way he looks at me in contained alarm.  

It’s too late by the time I put the pieces together. When I realize what is about to happen, my sister is already handing Cardan a rolled piece of paper.

“I came to make sure Jude invites you to our family Christmas dinner! She’s so absentminded sometimes isn’t she?” 

I’m going to kill her. Slowly.

Horrified, I stand there and see Cardan take the invitation, grinning. His polite, charming smile.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” He says. “Thank you so much Vivi.”

My sister turns to me and whatever look it’s on my face makes her hesitate. Although, not enough. She claps her hands once and makes an excited squeal. “Well I must go now! But I’m so excited you’re coming to join us Cardan, see you there. Ciao!”

With that she turns and leaves.

-

So here we are. My boyfriend driving by my side, as we are about to arrive to my parent’s house.

My knee bounces without control as I twist my scarf between my fingers. At any moment now, I’m sure my heart is going to bolt out of my chest. 

“Jude dear, is everything ok?” He asks. I notice I’ve been quiet almost the entire road.

I turn to look at him. He looks dashing, even if it’s not a strictly formal dinner he always finds a way to dress as it was. Black ensemble and green scarf that stands out his pale skin, though his nose and cheeks have a touch of color because of the cold weather. 

“Yeah it’s just... My family is a little,” I pause. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

We are not the type of family that introduces romantic partners, ever. My twin sister tried to do it some years ago with a terrible and embarrassing outcome. At some point in the middle of breakfast, she’d asked her daddy to pass the salt. Both our father and Locke moved to grab it at the same time. What came next, well… if that Locke dude had restrained himself to make a sarcastic and really tacky comment about it, maybe he would still be welcome in the house. Alas, he is not. 

Ever since that day, every time someone brings a guest to the house my father gets in a mood that is pretty uncomfortable for everyone. Sooner or later he makes everyone run.  Not exactly the first impression I want Cardan to have. 

We’ve been together for some time now, about eleven months. But the topic of introducing our families has never been on the table so far. I know he comes from a problematic family even if he doesn’t talk much about them. As for me, I have to admit I’ve grown so attached to him that I’m terrified of Madoc, or any other of my relatives, scaring him away.

He takes my hand in his, warming it, and smiles softly. “It’ll be ok. Breathe.”

I sigh, hoping he’s right and grip his hand tighter.  

The inside of the house looks as if Santa’s bag had exploded. There are lights and ornaments everywhere. Even the tree is bigger than previous years. A delicious smell of food fills the place. As I stare in awe I hear voices coming from the living room.

“Jude? Is that you?” Hurried steps sound in the wooden floor and a few seconds later my little brother appears wearing an absurd red and white onesie. He crashes against me and I laugh, hugging him back.

“You do realize that’s for little kids don’t you?” I ask. “It looks good on you, though.”

Oak scoffs and pulls back. “Well of course it does. I look good on everything.”

Cardan chuckles next to me and for the first time my brother notices him. His eyes and mouth open widely, blinking at him and then turning back at me. Once. Twice.

“Jude,” He murmurs. It cracks me up how shy he can get around new people. “Who’s this?”

Ah, here we go. I take a deep breath and grab Cardan’s hand again. 

“Don’t be rude,” I warn him. “His name is Cardan. Cardan, this is my brother Oak.”

Cardan greets him, extending his hand to him. Oak shakes it, visibly puzzled. “And Cardan is…?”

“My boyfriend.” 

A slow, mocking and devilish smile spreads on his face. I swear to god that kid was taken out from the movie Cheaper by the Dozen. All the shyness is suddenly gone.

“You and Vivi are really trying to give dad a heart attack today aren’t you?” He turns to Cardan and adopts a serious expression I almost believe. “Please tell me Jude doesn’t call you daddy.”

“OAK!” I hiss. I look at Cardan and he gazes back with amusement, I notice he’s biting back a laugh. 

“WHAT? I need to know earlier if I need to take my phone out, last time I didn’t have time to record when dad…” He motions with his hand. Yeah, I remember.

“She doesn’t.” Cardan affirms. Mimicking my brother’s mischievous smile he asks. “Is there a story there I need to know?”

Oak hesitates, even though I’m sure he’s dying to spill it out.

“Taryn would kill you.” I remind him.

“She’s not coming. For what I’ve heard, either it’s Locke’s turn to visit his family or something about dad running him under the car if he dared appearing. I’m not sure.”

Great. 

“What if I beat you at Mario Kart?” Cardan asks, pointing at the console resting next to the tv. 

Oak squints at him. “Are you challenging me?”

“It’s not a challenge when I know I’m going to win.”

Turning to me, my brother grins. “I like him.”

-

I know this is the first time I’ve brought someone home, but still I don’t know if I should be offended at my parent’s surprised faces. Oak had to tell my mother twice that Cardan is my boyfriend before she nods in understanding.

On his side, Cardan is being the full gentleman. To be fair he always is, but I notice the extra effort he’s doing today. It warms my heart. The only sign of nervousness I notice in him are occasional deep breaths he takes when he thinks no one is watching.

We get to meet Heather too, who is adorable and I honestly don’t know how on earth she fell in love with my lunatic sister. In a matter of minutes Cardan is already friends with her which helps with her evident tension. Vivi seems to relax as well. 

Christmas music plays on the background as we eat. This is probably my favorite part of the evening. Don’t get me wrong, I love gatherings with my family but food calls me on a spiritual level. Cardan knows it too, chuckling at my excitement while I’m serving us mashed potatoes. 

“So, Cardan.” My father starts, serving the wine. My heart leaps in my chest, oh no. “You met my daughter at work?” 

He nods. “Yes sir, I arrived there about two years ago. I teach preschool and first grade.” Winking at me he adds. “Jude used to hate me.”

Madoc turns to me, frowning. “What happened?” I roll my eyes, classical worried dad.

I take a long drink from my wine and shrug. “Nothing, he stole the ‘best teacher award’ from me, on his first six months. I’m pretty sure he bribed the students that year.”

To my surprise, my father barks a laugh. We all stare at him wide-eyed. 

“Keep repeating that to yourself, love.” Cardan teases. “It was a clean triumph.”

“You’ve always been competitive Jude, that’s no secret.”  Vivi adds. “It’s nice to finally meet someone who can pull up with that.”

I turn to glare at her. You and I are going to talk later. She sticks out her tongue at me. 

“Do you guys have sex?” 

“Oak!” My mother shouts as my father and I both choke on our wine.  

-

When Cardan parks the car outside my apartment it’s already past midnight. 

Surprisingly, this turned out to be one of the best Christmas celebrations I’ve ever had. My boyfriend somehow managed to not only avoid any uncomfortable moments around my family but also to wrap them up around his little finger. With jokes and tales about us the night had passed incredibly fast. 

Toasts were made, hugs and gifts were given. By the end, we were sprawled on the floor wearing silly sweaters and watching the merciless Mario Kart match between Oak and Cardan. It ended up in a tie. Rematch was already set for New Year’s Eve.

It was everything I never thought it would be.

“Well, did Vivi’s plan work?” Cardan asks.

I turn to find him already looking at me with a knowing smile on his face. Still, it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“C’me on, you weren’t really planning on inviting me to your family’s dinner. Something was surely going on the day she gave me the invitation.” 

Sighing I whisper. “I’m sorry.” 

He knows me too well, more than I even know myself sometimes.

“Don’t be, it’s not a topic we usually discuss.” He shrugs, reaching my hand with his. His thumb makes slow circles on my skin “Still, I should’ve asked if it was ok with you. Forgive me if I crossed a line.”

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t planning for you to meet my family yet.” I regret those words the moment they leave my mouth, knowing how they sound. Cardan doesn’t let go of my hand but he stops his ministrations. “Wait, that wasn’t…”

“Jude, it’s ok.” He says, turning to the windshield. I know him well enough too, and notice the touch of sadness behind his words. 

“No it’s not. Please listen.” I insist, my heart is beating fast now. That look on his eyes is exactly what I tried to avoid the whole night. “The reason why I wasn’t thinking to introduce you to my family is that they’re ridiculously hard and annoying with every new person that visits. And this is the first time I took someone home and…I don’t know, I-”

“You thought I’d leave?” He turns his gaze back to me, warily. 

At the beginning of the day I did. But I don’t find the words to admit it, so I don’t answer.

After a moment of silence he asks “Do you want to know why I agreed to go?”

I swallow and nod. Cardan inhales deeply..

“We’ve been together for some time now. And you know, you must know, I’m not playing around Jude.” I start to say something but he silences me with a soft finger against my lips.  “I love you. If I agreed to whatever scheme your sister had in mind it was because I wanted to show you that I’m not going away. No matter what.”

“My family…”

“They love you. It’s only natural for them to ask what my intentions are… and maybe tease us about it too. I’m willing to admit your dad is a little scary. But not enough to make me run away.” He winks, cupping my face.“There is nothing on earth that would make me want to run away, Jude. That’s how much I love you.”

Feeling my eyes sting I blink. “I love you too.”

We’ve said those words before. But I find that they acquire a different meaning, somehow deeper. My chest is suddenly too small to hold everything I feel for this man. He’s not going anywhere. He loves me. I’m grinning like an idiot and I’m proud of it. 

I lean to rest my forehead against his. “Since it’s our first Christmas together… and you already met my family.” His smile widens at that. “Would you like to stay the night?”

“There’s nothing I would like more.” Cardan angles his head to give me a kiss that I accept gladly, coiling my arms around his neck.  “I usually spend Christmas alone, I guess it’s time for new traditions.”

We remain entwined for some minutes, it fastly turns into something hotter and desperate. I’m already straddling his hips when I pull back a few inches. I bet my lips are as swollen as his. He is looking at me with hunger… and love.

“How about a tradition in which we spend Christmas night undressed and watching some crappy Netflix movies?” I suggest.

My toes curl when he leans to bite my lobe and purrs. “Yes, please.”

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02, Ep16

i believe there are more than one foolish traveler in Furuba with varying degrees of altruism, kindness & selflessness. The core idea of the foolish traveler story wasn’t to encourage kindness but as a somber warning that such kind souls are taken advantage of by others due to their altruism. The story don’t teach you to stop foolish travelers (you can’t), but take from their kindness without “killing” them in the process. So far three foolish travelers:

Haru is healthiest example. already discussed in past posts.

Momiji: stands in the middle. His story is cruel yet he tried to find the balance between giving too much vs caring for his own self. (more on how/why in his dad’s section).

Tohru is the prime example & the real version of foolish traveler story. We’re watching her collapse under the pressure of always giving too much of herself. We saw too much in SE01, now she’s entering the lion’s den on behalf of Arisa’s lost love. Many examples with many emotional scars after each reckless decision.   

Will Tohru meet the same end as the traveler in the story? Will she give everything, gains nothing & say thank you? or will she acknowledge her own needs as rightful, stand up for her desires, not for altruistic reasons, but cuz SHE wants sth for herself & SHE acknowledges that SHE deserves to get what she selfishly wants!

The Villagers/demons in the foolish traveler story:

In the story the villagers/demons took advantage of the traveler’s kindness & killed her. In real life, these villagers aren’t strangers, they’re family & friends. They aren’t demons, they’re loved ones who truly love you. Still some take advantage of you. How many times have you seen someone kind be content with so little as long as others happy? they ask politely, the person feels obligated or too kind to say no. Until one day. they ask for too much & if the person refuses. They’re shocked/offended & hurt. All while feeling the person is okay cuz he/she never asked for more. That’s momiji’s dad. He loves his son dearly but wants his wife & daughter more. Momiji understands. He always does. He’s a mature boy. Asking momiji to pretend he isn’t his son, to live apart, to quit his hobby. Every time momiji said yes. How could he not? he loves his mom/dad, wants his sister to enjoy the family he never had (selfless desires). But he also wants his sister to know him! to perform for his family exclusively. (selfish desires). Two desires clash. Momiji is sad & broken.

How is momiji different from tohru then?

Momiji acknowledges his selfish desires. He knows he deserves them. He openly speaks when tohru asks him. Hence, he’s rewarded. His sister wants him as big brother regardless of blood relations, She seeks him thro tohru. Momiji will get his sister sooner or later despite the cruse/trauma.

What abt tohru?

Tohru embarks on a reckless adventure using Arisa as a front. She convinces herself that’s it’s purely for a friend. It isn’t. she knows it, ashamed of it, denies it. hides it. Doesn’t open up to momiji .Keeps it all inside. She breaks down seeing all these living ppl yearning for each other yet choose to stay apart. Thoru would do everything she can for one extra moment with her mom. hear her voice once more. just once. grief returns full force a year later to tohru, cuz it was never giving a chance to be acknowledged!. “my mom is with me” was the mantra she lived by. As tohru refused to acknowledge her mom’s absence, the pain grows & the loss intensifies. The void in her heart where her mom used to be while alive, is no longer filled by her mom’s memory. Why? cuz it’s been a year!!!!! it gets harder & harder living after a loved one leaves the longer time passes cuz you can no longer deceive yourself, cuz yearning becomes harder, cuz their voice, laughter, smell, presence fades as time passes & it hurts! like million knives stabbing you. How dare you feel they’re fading? How dare you NOT remember them each & every moment. How dare you let them go~ oh tohru~ I feel you. I know this feeling very well, unfortunately.

The tears of yearning & loss fall again:

The rooftop scene is another example of brilliant writing. The writer sweeps stealthily into our minds duplicating another roof scene as early SE01, Ep 4! This time the writer switches places to showcase growth! brilliant!!. The two scenes parallel each other to the smallest detail of one crawling/walking towards the other. Ep.4 rooftop scene marked the beginning of tohru breaking thro kyo’s harsh exterior, getting him to open up abt his precious master, she earned his awkward trusting smile. This time kyo broke through tohru’s mask once again, noticing the tiniest details of her dirty clothes & down spirit. He doesn’t push her too much. He gives her enough space to talk & keep the parts that she wants hidden. However, this time they’re both different ppl than when they were in Se01, ep.4.

tohru is openly down, sitting more comfortably in her pajama. She’s the one who escaped to his quiet rooftop. She didn’t apologize for taking his spot, didn’t fret abt annoying him. She was at ease in his space/place. She let her guards down & altho she kept her secrets, she tried to convey her feelings of sadness. This is a New Tohru. A tohru much more comfortable with herself around kyo to start complaining without much urging.

Kyo’s entire demeanor is relaxed & chill. from the way he walks, until how he sits so close to her to the way he extended his hand & wiped her tears. While kyo initially misunderstood that tohru had boyfriend, he wasn’t wrong at all in associating her words with romantic love. “you want to be with someone you like, want to be near them” That’s him!! despite deciding to not pursue tohru, being near her is the entire purpose of him still existing in this house. The uneasiness he feels with time running fast before graduation/confinement is all due to him feeling not enough time to be near her! Altho kyo believed tohrun not having a boyfriend, realizing that tohru might have one eventually hurt him deep. Yet, he’s determined to be The New Foolish Traveler in Tohru’s Story. I’ll give my life in return for your happiness. I don’t mind dying in a cell if you you could smile. even if you love another man. I don’t matter. I’ll wish for YOUR tears to stop. He tells her that but with kinder words. “i’ll support u if you have one”. Tohru got it. She got the true meaning mixed with a hint of misunderstanding that stems from her inferiority complex: (I won’t be with you. You’ll loose me. I’ll soon disappear from your life. This quiet moment together will soon be a memory. I’ll die in a cell & you won’t be with me = truth). Misunderstanding: (I don’t love you romantically, I’m just kind to you = tohru’s low self worth will hinder her from seeing the obvious that could be seen from the moon! this boy is melting for her). ~~Tow foolish travelers on the rooftop~~

Side Notes:

The anime disappoints me again with the tohru’s over-dramatic animation.I wanna ask the director: are we reading the same story? Tohru’s pain breaks thro my laptop screen & suffocates me. You don’t need to add this over exaggerated convulsive movement to her. Why only her?? You can’t extract extra tears from us with such addition. it backfires. it makes us laugh/go wth! be annoyed. Am i the only one who feels weirded out by tohru’s animation during emotional moments? Take out tohru’s convulsive 5sec movement & you’ll get 10 out of 10 heartbreaking scene!.

Kureno.. i duno.. sth is off abt him & i can’t figure out what! like.. i don’t feel he’s bad/evil or anything.. he feels like nothing, which is the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had abt a character. I’ll hold on talking more abt him for now until I see more of him.

Who is this blind lady? Her red bright nail polish reminded me of kyoko’s.

Tohru’s voice over on top of shots of momo/momiji/ kureno is epic! cuz her words have already been established in the scenes we saw in the ep. It didn’t ruin or foretell anything we haven’t explored within the ep. Add violin music that is actually played by a character within the ep, add moonlight light that all characters look at now, add the fact that her words describe her current situation with kyo & add kyo’s response! Brilliant! I’ll give the Director the credit he deserves in this scene. It was one of the best visual scenes in furuba & it works more cuz it was given space to play out naturally. nothing seems forced or consciously inserted or inconsistent or overplayed. slowly moving the camera to the sky above shigure’s rooftop & close the ep with one last callback to ep, 4. old scene ended with kyo smiling, now we hear tohru’s small laugh, . subtly telling you~hey, we went full circle with these two & you didn’t even realized when & how~10 out of 10! 

[lightninginabottle0613]

50 questions ⚖️

a scale for libra season - you knew i would!!

thank you to all of these angels for tagging me & giving me a chance to learn more about your precious selves - @yanak324 @watersandwolves @kelleesioverhere @livhatesolives @thelandofnothing

what is the color of your hairbrush? black! with some silver on the handle. 

name a food you never eat? sushi. i don’t dislike it, but it’s just far enough down on my favorites list that i never choose it over something else.

are you typically too warm or too cold? almost always too cold, but that’s exactly how i like it.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? talking to my brother. he is at sea and bought internet for the day :’)

what’s your favorite candy bar? i don’t think i have a favorite tbh. i like most candy well enough. not really a candy person, though!

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i have been to many major league baseball games, & two minor league soccer games.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “love you, too” 💘

what is your favourite ice cream? ben & jerry’s mint chocolate cookie

what was the last thing you had to drink? lemon la croix in a stemless wine glass, bc nothingggg matterrrssss 

do you like your wallet? i actually don’t, lol. it’s a little dark green designer thing that i splurged on last year, bc i thought adults needed fancy wallets. & it’s very off brand for me. i also broke the inside zipper one hour after purchasing it, when i ripped the tag off bc i was too lazy to get scissors. so that makes me hate it even more.

what is the last thing you ate? omg. loaded sweet potato fries. with cheese & fake bacon & ranch.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did! just one shirt at target. a lil striped guy. as if i needed any more of those.

what’s the last sporting event you watched? the eagles/bengals game last sunday. i didn’t put it on, like ... on purpose. i was hanging out with two straight men who insisted, bc i’m from philadelphia. it was sweet of them i guess

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? anything cheeeeesy. or just regular. but fuck a caramel corn (sorry)

who is the last person you sent a text message to? one of the aforementioned straight men

ever go camping? yes!!!!!!! camping is so cute. very into it

do you take vitamins? i am actually all out of my multivitamin, so this question has reminded me to add it to my shopping list for tomorrow.

do you regularly attend a place of worship? (don’t make a target joke, don’t make a target joke)

do you have a tan? haha

do you prefer chinese or pizza? my east coast roots all but require me to say pizza. i do love a good sesame NOODLE though

do you drink your soda through a straw? no ma’am

what color socks do you usually wear? i’ve got all sorts of colors!! right now they are white with black polka dots. team fun socks

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i mean yeah, of course. i am a self- and others-proclaimed Great Driver, though. so i will drive above the speed limit a responsible and excusable amount.

what terrifies you? birds. everyone thinks it’s a joke until they see me encounter a bird. (no, not sparrows/robins/little tiny birds that fly away when you approach them. obviously not those. they’re doing amazing.) 

look to your left, what do you see? couch cushion! i have been on the couch for five hours. 

what chore do you hate most? oh like, probably cleaning the litter box lol. that shit sucks

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? steve irwin (and the fact that my mom cried when he died)

what’s your favorite soda pop? diet coke, because i am ✨garbage✨

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru!! the drive thru experience is one of my favorite things. i love cradling my lil head in my hand while i talk to the person over the intercom. pretty much flirt with every drive thru attendant i ever come across. they’re so cute. shout out to grace at my local starbucks

what’s your favorite number? another day passes where i don’t have a favorite number

who’s the last person you talked to? out loud, my brother. over text, i am talking to three (3) very cute people! one of them is yana, hey bb

favorite cut of beef? the fake kind!

last song you listened to? whistle while you work. i’m watching snow white

last book you read? lol guys, i’m a disgrace. i haven’t read a book in so long. i just don’t have the energy. all i do anymore is attend zoom meetings, cry about the news, and journal about the moon

favorite day of the week? what is a “day” of the “week”

can you say the alphabet backwards? i just attempted it. i can, but very slowly.

how do you like your coffee? iced 😇 with a splash of oat milk. but i just bought a french vanilla coconut milk creamer today. so i’m really branching out.

favorite pair of shoes? i love my white birkenstocks more than anything, but i hate exposing my feet. so probably my dad sneakers.

time you normally get up? arounnnnnd 5:00 a.m.

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises these days! usually far too dissociated to enjoy a sunset anymore lolllll i’m fine

how many blankets on your bed? just my main comforter, and my lil pink baby blanket that i still sleep with (balled up under my head)

describe your kitchen plates? they are pink & they are the same as yana’s

describe your kitchen at the moment? clean! except one dish in the sink. but clean, always

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i love a light beer! and learning to appreciate a red wine. nothing fancy.

do you play cards? almost never. i cannot stand games

what color is your car? my last three cars have accidentally been blue. the one i got in march (the first one i bought myself!!) is “cosmic blue” :’)

can you change a tire? no!! someone teach me though, i want to learn

your favorite state? pennsylvania, for better or for worse. 

favorite job you’ve had? 2018 me would be dying at current me even thinking of admitting this, but the one i have right now! it has taught me more than any job i’ve ever had, and introduced me to some of my favorite people, and treated me incredibly well during a time when so many have lost everything. cannot complain even slightly (although i most definitely do, and will continue to)

tagging: everyone that i would’ve tagged has already done this lol damn it guys!! @beautifulinsanesanity have you done this? idk. if you’ve made it this far & haven’t done it yet, then please consider yourself tagged.

-

🛑 IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA - HI! ONE MONTH UNTIL ELECTION DAY! are you registered to vote (if you’re of age)? are you aware of how fucked we are if we don’t mobilize to get this ogre out of office? vote early if you can. vote in person if you can. volunteer to be a poll worker if you can. just ... literally please lol. i’m so tired.

love u.

[mcshiiin]

Title: Not My Energy

Pairings: KageHina

Sypnosis: A short, sad songfic about the two where Hinata lost his ability to fly

Song used: Not my Energy by IV of Spades

[A/n: Thank you for reading! I hope u enjoy huhu]

"I've ran out of reasons, reasons to comfort my mind."

Harbingers of daybreak busted his windows open. With gleaming dark eyes and sleek black talons, a crow stared straight to his soul. A sudden prickling sensation running from his toes began clobbering his body, rendering him paralyzed. Panting... Gasping... Drowning his mind in a sea of sorrow.

"Illusions, delusions. Confusions are running inside."

Hinata, despite sinking down the shallow waters feels as if he's floating mid-ar, going "boing boing". Slowly plummeting down the sea floor, he never hit the bottom. Instead, he landed rather harshly on the plywood surface of the gym. A familiar stinging pain on his palm smiled at him viciously. Taken aback, he grabbed his thumping, hollow chest and inhaled as much air as he could. An unforgiving force clashed against his torso, almost obliteraring him before the ceiling collapsed.

"Pale lips and dark lies has conquered the dreamer's eyes."

Poring dreamily at the honey glazed tree tops with hooded eyes, a sigh escaped from his drought ridden lips. While licking away the parchness on his lips, a worried yet kind gaze cut through him from the opened door.

"Sho-kun, you're going to be alright. Don't worry sweetie, we're here for you."

"Nii-chan! Hang in there. I love you!"

The warmth from his sister's hug dissipated into thin air. The soft caress from his Mom ghosted above his puffed out cheeks. Forcing his lips to curl upwards, he fooled them. Just as how their words of affirmation and consolidation were mere lies to comfort him.

" 'Cause there is something in those eyes I can never find, boy."

"Hinata boke..."

Shoyo swore Kageyama's voice were softer than ever. Terrified to face him, the bed ridden boy looked away. His bones shaking. His muscles tensed up.

"I don't want to dive in those same steel blue orbs..."

He kept his mouth silent. He kept his resolve solid. Then it crumbled down.

A feverish touch was ignited from Kageyama's fingertips grazing atop Hinata's trembling hand. The setter is careful enough not to break him, delicately and softly, he slid his hand and interwined it with his partner's. Shoyo's ribcage shattered, his throbbing heart and strained heartstrings tore it down.

His orbs stung with pain as he stared back at steel blue ones.

"I'm sick and tired of the noices, the voices. Everything seems magical."

"We're here for you, Hinata."

"Call us anytime!"

"I'm sure everything will be figured out by the adults. Cheer up, Hinata!"

"Let's buy popsicles when you're discharged, ne Shoyo?"

"Here's some food for you, eat up. You're getting thinner. Ne? I'm the best senpai aren't I?"

"gET WELL SOON AND WE'LL PRAY FOR YOU!"

"Don't worry too much. Idiots don't get sick, tch."

"Tsukki's right, you'll be okay, Hinata."

"I--no we, are here for you. Don't worry about catching up to class, I can teach you anytime!"

"Get some rest and take care please."

"I won't bother you with my words, Hinata-kun. You'll be okay, I'll pray for it."

"Rest up well, kid."

Everything and everyone seemed to pass by in a blur. Their faces muddled together like a murky pond. Indis​cern​ible. Chafing. Quaint. As if it never happened, as if he never heard anything.

"I'm sorry but there's nothing that we can do..."

"D-doctor no-!"

What? He heard nothing. His mother's face didn't crumple to despair. Her hands didn't ball into a fist. Her lips did not quiver. She never looked at him with those eyes.

No. Natsu is a sweet and clingy sister, her hugging him to death is nothing. She always said that his hands are rough, calloused, and big. They're also warm, and emollient. Maybe that's why she's holding it tight. Oh? Natsu is drooling. He chuckled, overseeing the shuddering figure of his dear sister.

 

Such an ethereal dream it is.

"And yes, my mind is awakened, dead conscience. Eveyday's a torture for me."

Panting heavily whilst swimming in a sea if sweat, Shoyo is wide awake. But, awake from what? Running away from what, his reality or his nightmares? Scampering to and fro, for what? Just to slam his head on a rock, trying to shake his dreams up.

He doesn't know what's hounding hin anymore.

He run a hand through his thick tuft of hair, unable to get back to sleep. A frown creeping up on his lips as he tries to pry his gaze to his legs. His world stilled. His breathing stopped. His mind blown to smithereens.

It hurts. The seering pain from mid-thigh down to his calf. It hurts, so he screamed.

"No I am not holding on to the darkness, 'cause you're already in my mind."

Natsu must be lying, his hands isn't big at all! She probably hasn't seen Kageyama's slender, setter hands. They look also pretty. Tobio's obviously taking good care of it, he bet that he goes as far as taking it to the nail salon. He's both dilligent and an idiot. He wants himself to be in a perfect condition so he can exert his best every game.

Shoyo wonders what lotion his setter is using. He want to buy one for himself too. How irksome it is to look at your partner's long fingers, perfectly groomed nails (it must be nice to have a manicure once), and mosturized, vanilla scented palms whilst yours is anything like that.

"Hmm spacing out?"

Tobio snaked his arms to his frail waist. Nudging his face deep into Shoyo's neck. So warm. So cool. So comfortable. Too real.

"Nah, I'm barely hanging."

"And if you would walk alone, then just do it. The clock is ticking backwards."

A tall, tall wall looms before him. The view from the top. He wants to see it. But he never can, unless alone.

And now, he's more alone than ever.

"Onigiri, pork buns, curry, what do you want honey?"

He's out in the cold again. Jumping higher, digging deeper, receiving with his face to no end. Wheezing as his body thrives, playing as his blood pulsiates. His heart more alive than before. His grin toothier than before. Hinata Shoyo loving too hard ever than before.

The pure joy from he gets from being with the team. The steam he emitts whenever Tsukishima pushes his buttons as Yamaguchi fell in line with laughing at him. The always fidgetty Yachi and Asahi-san. His superb senpais. That reminds him, he need to ask Nishinoya-senpai to teach him the rolling thunder double. The hardworking second years, the goddess Kiyoko-san, everyone. Even Daichi-san's roaring voice along with Suga-san's refreshing smile.

And of course, the skull-crusher milk boy who knows no word except Boke.

"I'm going alone."

"I ain't got it all, I don't care. You're not my energy."

Extending his arms, reaching with his hands, everyone is too far away.

Lying awake for hours, figuring how to run, how to fly.

Then, his bed decided to swallow him up.

A stringent touch engulfed his throat that produced an acrid cry from his mouth. The need for air is urgent, but his compressed windpipes aches with the mere presence of oxygen flowing through. For a second he thought the hold loosen, then his limbs. were vehemently ripped apart.

As blood splattered, his lower region were mangled.

"Your tears are in laughter while your smile is in despair."

Happiness looks good in Kageyama and Natsu. No doubt, hands down, bets raised.

Their carefree laughter bounced off the four walls of his room. Pearly white teeth are exposed as their lips ae stretched up to a smile. As far as their drinking game goes, Natsu is losing. Yes, they're drinking milk, much to Kageyama's delight.

Shoyo lost a long atime ago and the two milk heads are on it. The way their eyebrows knits together in concentration, noses scrunched up, and cheeks puffed out is a sight to see. You don't get to watch Kageyama with a child that doesn't cry within his mere presence, let alone play with him.

"I can't hold it in! I'm going to pee!"

The shorter ball of fluff ran outside as fast as her legs could carry her. Just a little bit more... three more steps... two... then one. She got in!

Natsu came back to her brother wiping his tears as he cackle like a rooster. He reminded her of the Kuroo Tetsurou that he once mentioned, bedhead, hyena laugh and all. When she glanced to her Kageyama-nii-chan, she was almost blinded. His higantic smiles were presented at her boldly. A soft glow from the dying sun illuminated his face. She can feel the love strongly eminating from these two.

Just as the puzzle is coming on together, someone had to filp the table and topple off the pieces.

Whimpers and hiccups. Rattling and rustles. Disintegrating and decaying. Shoyo-nii-chan is crying.

One end of his lips tugged upward. Blood-curling smirk emblazoned on his dainty face. And as she peek at the door opened ajar, tears came rolling down her rosy cheeks, staining the fabric of her shirt with pure sadness that a child can't comprehend. A younger sister shouldn't see her brother's soul being chipped off like that, you know.

"The poison of your tongue has killed all your truthful words."

His throat is a sand paper being stroked on a piece of wood that produces a nasty sound. It aches. It's painful to shout. It's straining. He too doesn't like sound coming off from his mouth. Disdainful words that tarnishes their bond, lacerating sentences that makes him bleed too.

"I don't need you!"

Yes I do.

"Go away!"

Please stay.

"I didn't like the food. It was awful."

They're my favorite, thank you.

"When I said I don't wan't to it, it means I don't! Don't force me!"

Maybe I'm a bit hungry?

"I AM OKAY. I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP I CAN DO IT BY MY FUCKING SELF!"

I am a lost cause.

"Pale lips and dark eyes has broken the dreamer's lies."

He inaudibly shrieked one morning when he woke up. The world was wet with dew as it sleepily waved back at him. He tried to wave back, but the shock of living in monochrome froze him. Then he tumbled down with a thud.

For a moment he forgot what predicament he's in and tried to stand up only to out balance himself and landed face first down their wooden floor. Natsu, who was never asleep the entire night, came rushing by to her brother's room beside hers. Clearly shocked and bemused at her nii-chan's bleeding nose and busted lip, she stood frozen. A part of her wants to laugh but the other half actually feels bad. And good thing she did, because the next scene was horrifying.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"N-nii-chan..."

"SEND FUCKING HELP!"

A soul was broken.

"There is something in your mind you can never find, boy."

Searching. Wandering. Roaming around an unprecedented area.

What was he seeking?

He alwas have thought that it was the adrenaline. His heart beating so fast, so loud that he can hear it through his ears. An energy flowing deep within, tingling his senses, pricking under his skin. He enjoys the rush, the pain, the smile in his teammates' lips.

Yet when he stared at Kageyama, he realized it wasn't.

What kept him alive...

"Im sick and tired of the voices, the noises. Everything seems magical."

"Hinata boke..."

"Nii-chan."

"Sho-kun!"

"HINATA SHOYO!"

...was love.

"My eyes are hiding the pavements of my vacancy. You can't take the power from me."

Kageyama wish he could hold Shoyo tighter. Peacefully zoning out in his arms, a small drool pooling below his mouth, and beautiful long lashes. So angelic and breathtaking.

Yet he still fears poring directly in his partner's eyes for they scream,

"I'm going to eat you alive."

Placing a kiss atop his head, a sigh escaped his lips. Then, honey-flecked orbs dangerously stared at him. A tremble was awaken inside his body.

"I love you."

The both of then were taken aback by his sudden words. Hinata was left in awe, speechless while Kageyama quickly recovered his composure. He came into terms with his feelings finally just right now, it's now or never.

"I want you more than any perfect toss. It's you that I want to hit my balls. We're partners, aren't we? I want to be by your side, holding you, loving you. We'll drink hundred liters of milk, we'll eat as many pork buns as you want. I want to spend my life with you."

"Kageyama-kun..."

"I know it'a sudden but Hina--!"

"Loving means being alive. Being alive is being able to love,

But you see, living, is not my energy."

-FIN

[zackfiar-a]

FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH SHINRA NOW AVALANCHE IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND

it took me 10 hours to write all this. i did change up canon quite a bit, but it’s generally the same in some places. i dont blame u guys if u want to skim it LOL 

i rewrote zacks canon from when he joined soldier then a little bit after the Infamous Shinra Showdown PLEASE read this !!!!

i will be applying THIS canon to my portrayal for now on esp the part where he lives but knowing my dumbass, ill be forgetting pieces of canon information i meant to add before ill be adding this to his about shortly once i wake up with a better thought process

if u have any questions pls feel free to ask !!!

being a naive kid at 13 and hearing the glorifying the heroic stories of shinra and SOLDIER, zack makes leave for midgar while writing a note to his parents not to worry about him, he’s aiming for greater things; far more than what gongaga can give him. his dream is to be the wrong idea of what being a hero means, which is wanting to be loved by many and being admired simply for the fame. sephiroth could do it, so why couldn’t he? anything is better than the boring life that gongaga gave him. 

at 15, he makes it into SOLDIER as a 3rd class with the sheer force of determination and the passion of not giving up, which is what his higher ups find lacking in the military chain. being young and impressionable, shinra puts into their head of the glory they give. SOLDIER and the military is what the people look up to for protection while some think of SOLDIER as just dogs. this doesn’t deter zack, genuinely thinking that shinra is doing well for midgar. during this time he gets injected with a dose of mako, which is what they give all members of SOLDIER. this enhances their abilities and strength at the cost of body degradation and the risk of dying earlier than everyone else. zack questions this: giving up literal life for power? well, shinra wouldn’t lie to him! right? if this is price of being a hero for the people, then it has to be worth it while completely clueless of the manipulation of propaganda and ideology that shinra has shoved in his face and forced to intake.

when he turns 16, he’s promoted to SOLDIER 2nd class and befriends kunsel, who helps him give more of the inside scoop of shinra. he’s one of the first real friends zack has made, even exchanging e-mails to communicate outside of missions and SOLDIER. all the while, he is put under the tutelage of angeal. he can sense the hesitance in his mentor for training an actual kid while zack thinks being in SOLDIER is all fun and games. zack hasn’t even seen the horror of the underbelly of the beast, only fighting the surface of the war and just blindly following orders (anyone who dares stand against shinra is a bad guy and aligns themselves with wutai). fortunately, zack doesn’t fully believe that. regardless, angeal teaches him what it means to be SOLDIER, something along the lines of having SOLDIER honor. he doesn’t get what angeal means by that with furrowed brows as he continues to drill that into zacks mind, ontop of zack admittance of the reason why he joined SOLDIER in the first place aka becoming a hero for shinra and the people of midgar. angeal doesn’t even try to alter that dream knowing very well that’s not something he should be aiming for, deciding to let zack figure it out for himself.

if you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams and honor. how many times zack has heard that, he would be a rich man. eventually he takes it to heart, looking up to angeal because of how wise and strong he is.

when he’s 17, angeal nominates for him to be a 1st class while being sent out to a mission in wutai. lazard says this will stop the war, but in actuality it’s used as a false sense of justice of using SOLDIER to set up another reactor in its place. zack is unaware of this, thinking of serving as justice against wutai, using this as a place and opportunity to prove himself. in the end, lazard uses zack’s tenacity and naive enthusiasm to show he could prove himself to overtake fort tamblin. ontop of that, while navigating lazard to safety, angeal is gone and is approached by sephiroth that angeal has possibly betrayed and abandoned SOLDIER. 

no! angeal wouldn’t do that! that’s not the angeal i know! he tries to tell himself that. it’s now where he begins to doubt in shinra and question their motives. he’s so enraptured at the loss of his mentor, he’s stuck inside of his mind on why angeal would leave? he has honor, right? it’s not honorable to leave that what you’re loyal to. having infatuation and admiration for sephiroth, he quickly loses the shine. maybe it’s disappointment, maybe it’s the loss of his mentor. shinra had glorified the 1st class members on all forms of media, but in reality, they weren’t all that special. he takes this time to talking about the SOLDIERS (some that don’t really care for him), about shinra and why they’ve joined it while trying to see if anyone knows anything about behind the scenes. he confides in kunsel, who does give some information on former 1st class genesis and all the 3rd and 2nd classes he took with him.

going with tseng to banora, he immediately feels a sense of dread. it’s strangely quiet, especially when when he comes across angeal’s mother. while he explains to her he doesn’t know where he is, he is determined to bring him back no matter what, not knowing the meaning of his own words. finding out that genesis buried his adopted parents, tseng and zack make their way to the apple factory on the outskirts of town. tseng tells him that sephiroth was originally assigned to this mission but pushed this on zack, for selfish reasons, he thinks. he doesn’t know whether to be angry or relieved because he feels like he can convince angeal to return to shinra but angry because how cowardly can you be? when he finds out that the planes are going to bomb banora, he rushes to try and help gillian escape only to think that angeal had killed her. he feels enraged, punching him, yelling at him about honor and the fact that was his own mother. the respect for him was rapidly being lost, feeling immensely disappointed when angeal leaves without explaining himself. he comes to greatly hate genesis and seriously distrust shinra.

coming back to hq, he is promoted to SOLDIER 1st class. lazard thinks zack would be happy about his promotion, but is only met with a sad face. i don’t deserve to be SOLDIER 1st class. i don’t want it. which, this is what he wanted in the beginning, but with everything that’s happened, he feels like can’t. being unable to convince angeal, the loss of a village and the death of gillian, he feels like he’s going backward from his goal of being a hero. it doesn’t help that he’s a 1st class by default from the lack of leadership. lazard doesnt listen and hearing that genesis copies have attacked midgar. doing so, he meets cissnei. finding out that she can handle herself, he immediately hits on her but is shortly sent on a mission with sephiroth to sector 5 reactor. they look for hollander, instead they find papers for project g. seeming that sephiroth is interested in the details of the experiments, zack is appalled that genesis is a result of a failed experiment and the fact that hollander experimenting on others. is this why he took a bunch of 3rd and 2nd class SOLDIERS with him? to use them to help himself?

finally finding hollander and genesis, he chases hollander through the mako reactor to eventually come across angeal. there’s a momentary relief of seeing him again, however is quickly flooded by reddening anger. angeal tells him, because he is also a monster, he only dreams of 2 things: world domination and revenge. zack is thrown aback at the declaration, resisting the temptation to punch him again. you’re not a monster. monsters don’t have honor. they’re scared. they’re selfish, so they fight and punish the weak. you’re not like that, angeal! and then he remembers what cissnei said about wings that symbolize freedom. angels aren’t monsters. angeal after gets into a fighting position and demands that zack defend himself. hurt at the notion that he would attack him, he’s momentarily stunned. before he can get into a fighting stance or defend himself from the blow, he falls below into sector 5.

he wakes up in a church with aerith hovering over him, briefly thinking it’s his mother when he’s convinced that she’s an angel that has come to greet him in heaven. there’s a funny feeling of meeting her, but he brushes it aside and asks her for one date as a thank you for saving him. he notices the flowers, suggesting that she should sell them to make midgar happy with the motto midgar full of flowers, wallet full of money. on a little detour, zack and aerith chat while she explains she’s afraid of the sky and SOLDIER. they fight and they like it, she explains. however, zack explains that he’s a part of SOLDIER and maybe that it was a mistake that he joined in the first place. not all of them enjoy fighting for the fun of it. that some of them joined because of a childhood fantasy and it’s not at all what it’s cracked up to be. SOLDIERS motives and goals were vastly different from his own and he doesn’t know if he wants to continue to align himself with shinra. he apologies that he shouldn’t have put that all on her since they just met. though he reassures her that since his eyes are the color of the sky, there’s nothing to be scared of. he decides to take her out to see the real sky one, to reassure her that it won’t swallow her. his stay is cut short when he’s called that genesis has attacked midgar and that he should hurry back.

when aerith takes him back to the sector 5 gate, zack decides to buy aerith a pink bow as a gift for their one - day anniversary of meeting. before he leaves, he helps a guy name the bar that would later be named 7th heaven. 

he makes it back to shinra hq and is ordered to go protect hojo, for hollander is probably using this as a way to kill him. finding hojo, he seems less than troubled and more annoyed about hollander. he says that SOLDIER should do their jobs as brutes and do less thinking to protect geniuses like him, which angers zack a little bit. he never really did trust him, seeming to enjoy it too much when hojo injected him mako upon first entering SOLDIER. people aren’t made to throw their lives away for someone who seems them as less than human and shows no compassion. regardless, he does his job, fighting the bahamut fury. he swore he saw angeal during the fight; genesis is gone. 

months later, he’s sent to modeoheim with a couple of shinra infantryman and tseng. on the way there, the helicopter crashes and he meets cloud while the infantryman can’t quite keep up. he learns that cloud is from nibelheim and they instantly bond as being “country boys”. eventually they find a mako excavation facility, which zack takes the initiative to infiltrate while tseng and the others continue to modeoheim. he finds a bickering genesis and hollander, which he immediately aims to fight and kill him. even though he has no personal connection to genesis, he knows that he was close friends with angeal and sephiroth, and he feels like it’s his duty to finally end him. albeit hesitant, he charges forward and wins the fight with genesis while he continues to run after hollander. in the bathhouse, he finds tseng and cloud tired and beaten as they had fought angeal. they warn him to be careful. doing so, he runs into angeal and hollander. 

with his sword shaking in his hand, he decides that he has to bring angeal down and stop this cycle. that as long as he’s alive then genesis will be as well. he finds out that angeal is a result of project gillian and that said gillain actually killed herself in her home. he feels so bad, so disgusting that he had accused angeal slaying his own mother. those thoughts aren’t with him for long, but he sees him combining with all of this copies to become angeal penance. this is it, this where he is where he’s going to have to slay his mentor, the man that he’s looked up to and found as a role model. angeal, his friend that he had confided so much of his secrets in, dead by his blade. it’s like the battle was over in an instant, because now angeal was on the ground, blood pouring out of his wounds whilst slowly degrading. while zack sustained injuries of his own, the most noticeable one was the x on his cheek, with blood slowly running down his neck. it doesn’t take long for him to realize that his whole intent was to kill him, while angeal still had some semblance of honor left. it wasn’t fair, he shouldn’t have to be the one to do it.

angeal weakly hands him his buster sword and tells him to remember dreams, that zack should aim to be a true member of SOLDIER and protect his honor.

when he dies, he takes a deep breath and presses the buster sword to his forehead much like angeal did before he went on missions. sorry, angeal. i can’t do that. i can’t be the SOLDIER you want me to be. my dreams… what does it even mean to be a hero? what honor do i have left as SOLDIER? as long as i stay here, i have none. i will continue to live with what’s left.

later he confides in aerith, traumatized over angeal’s death. he doesn’t want to be in SOLDIER anymore, not what’s going on behind the scenes. unfortunately, while being under the contract of shinra, he’s forced to stay in and serve as a SOLDIER 1st class.

at 18, he’s one of the few SOLDIER 1st class left, the other one being sephiroth. when interacting with a brigade of shinra troops, he tells them that if they want to be a SOLDIER, they must have dreams and honor. while the troops have said to find his speech admiring and they they look up to him with his cool, new look! it’s any rare time that he gives a somber look. don’t believe what shinra says. think for yourself. he doesn’t want to promote and encourage more people to join SOLDIER. deny them as much man power as he possibly can, even if it gets him in trouble with the higher ups. as long as he’s here, he’s under the thumb of shinra.

as a “congratulatory break”, he’s sent to costa del sol to rest and relax. except the fact that he was opposite of that. cissnei was here with him, and any other time he wouldn’t mind, but he knew why she was also on “break” with him. though he’s warned that genesis copies have been spotted, and he has no choice but to fight. a soon to be vacation was over with, when he’s also informed that hojo broke out of prison with the suspicions of lazard, who was said to have disappeared prior before. he rushes to midgar to help stop the genesis copies with the stolen tech of shinra. when he found hollander, it was too late and he escaped. lo’ and behold sephiroth has finally arrived and tells zack that his mission was deemed a failure. he’s just tired of all of this, more concerned about the towns people that caught up in the mess than hollander. at this point, he was too deep that he has no choice for hollander to seek justice for what he’s done. needless to say, he doesn’t care much about seeing sephiroth, but hearing him say he forgives him of his misdeeds relaxes him. with sephiroth’s permission to go back to midgar to see aerith, he heads off there immediately. 

when he arrives at the church, he spots an angeal copy with aerith. at first assuming the worst, he aims to kill it but aerith says not to. instead, the copy protects aerith instead from an uninvited monster. zack doesn’t trust it, but leaves it in the church’s beams anyways to watch over her. he tells aerith that he’s going to be gone for a long time, and he won’t know when he’ll be coming back. so she suggests that zack makes the flower wagon he promised her long ago. when he gets the pieces together, he’s disappointed that aerith doesn’t like it but uses it anyways. he’s with her for several hours, selling flowers, but when he sees aerith being lenient with the price, he tells her not to settle for less. make your stand and not sell it for 1 lousy gil. the flowers deserve to be 10 gil a piece, at least. when a costumer comes across aerith and zack selling flowers, he tells them that it’s their dream to make midgar full of flowers. unfortunately, it isn’t a bit later that he gets a called away on his last mission. before he leaves, he tells aerith that aerith should do something for zack every time he comes to visit her, like wearing pink. he thinks pink is a really endearing color on her. he finds tseng hiding behind a piece of playground equipment, and even though he doesn’t fully trust the turks, he’s really the only one he can trust to take care of aerith, not exactly understanding tseng’s role in the first place.

when zack gets back, he finds cloud, who’s trying to round everyone up for the next mission. zack is elated and excited that finally another mission with him. he finally meets with sephiroth, accompanied by cloud and several other unnamed shinra infantryman, and sephiroth tells them they’re leaving for nibelheim. their goals there were to inspect the incoming monsters infiltrating the town and a malfunctioning reactor. although zack is surprised that cloud has his helmet on, he has his suspicions, he asks why. cloud doen’t give a direct answer, so he brushes it off, not wanting to push the issue. hearing that sephiroth doesn’t have family, he perks up when he hears him mention jenova’s name. jenova… jenova… isn’t that the cells they were using for the monsters? genesis mentioned something about that, didn’t he?

when they go check out the reactor, tifa is there and offers them around nibelheim as a tour guide, even taking pictures in the process. the reactor is now fixed, but among the pods they find monsters soaked in mako. zack is disgusted and feels bad to the people who were affected by this. what were the lads words they said to their family? what were they doing when they got kidnapped? climbing the stairs, he finds the biggest pod with jenova and he can’t help but stare at the plaque. jenova… wait, that’s sephiroth’s mother! before he can think about it more, sephiroth starts to speak. you average SOLDIER members are mako - infused humans. you’re enhanced, but you’re still human. …but then what are these things? their mako levels are exponentially higher than yours. when sephiroth explains that they are monsters spawned by mako energy and that hojo created them, it didn’t take long for zack to connect the dots. he didn’t want it to be true, but it wasn’t a coincidence that the three best friends weren’t human at all, just experimental pawns made by the scientists of shinra. zack approaches him, and tries to be careful on the subject. he didn’t want it to be true. you said “average” member. what about you? that should’ve been an instance where he kept his mouth shut.

this whole thing was no coincidence. seeing sephiroth suddenly grip his head and ask himself if he’s an abomination, that he’s not like the others. zack can’t help but wonder what’s wrong and console him or to be shoved away. makes it no better that genesis came to confirm that’s the case, blowing zack away; that sephiroth is not human because he was created from jenova, or the remains of those failed experiments. finally, when genesis leaves after sephiroth, zack rushes after him to see zack be blasted by a monster and helped by tifa. it makes sense that sephiroth possibly the strongest monster out of angeal and genesis. when he helps tifa and cloud back to the inn, he goes to check up on sephiroth, who is in the basement of the shinra basement. in a mistake of one room, he comes across a seemingly sleeping man in a coffin. oh, creepy. finding sephiroth, he is immediately shunned away with him burying his face in the books. it was his fault this happened anyways, that he had to ask why sephiroth thought he was different from the other SOLDIERS, even angeal and genesis. he was going to try again, because he wasn’t going to have sephiroth betray them too. except sephiroth continued to ignore him and even threatened him to leave. there was a terrible feeling in his gut, but there was nothing he could do, so he left to go check on cloud back at the inn.

cloud was fine, but he wanted to talk to him about tifa and the fact that he was hiding his face the whole time he was in nibelheim. it was a personal issue it seemed, but cloud said if only he was in SOLDIER, then he would be strong enough to protect tifa and others. except, zack wasn’t on board. SOLDIER is a den of monsters. don’t go inside. everything shinra has told you about it is a lie. how great it is… how it produces the best heroes in the world; they don’t settle the peace, they’re just glorified monsters. they don’t care about what happens to the people, as long as it funds their goals in the end. cloud seemed confused, wanting to know more about what he was talking about. zack has the experience of being in SOLDIER in his belt, he just wants to prevent people from being in the same situations he’s been in many times. you know, i asked myself what it meant to be SOLDIER. when i first joined, i thought i was proud to be a part of shinra. everyone talked about how great being in shinra was, but no one knows what lies in the dark. only i know the truth. cloud, do me a favor: don’t ever look in SOLDIER’s direction, before you get turned into a monster, too. 

cloud is still confused, but agrees with him regardless because he was someone who looked greatly up to zack, and it must be serious if he’s saying stuff like this too. though he couldn’t help but ask if zack was considered a monster also. zack doesn’t answer for a long moment, even considering. … i might be. all monsters are infused with mako energy afterall. wouldn’t it make sense if i were one? cloud doesn’t know how to answer it, so he nods towards the buster sword, telling zack that’s never seen him use it. zack picks up angeal’s sword and thinks. this is a symbol of my dreams and honor. it was a symbol of angeal’s burden of SOLDIER honor, not his own. no, it’s not. it’s symbol of my freedom, when i finally leave SOLDIER for good. when i make up all the wrongs it’s done to the innocent people of midgar. this is a symbol for… my own honor. this is proof that i am alive and that i exist. who gives a damn about SOLDIER anyways? no, he wasn’t a monster and never will be one. he’s a kind, and cares for others. do monsters do that? he smiles at cloud and sets down the blade. he thanks him while going straight to sleep. cloud doesn’t even have a say in what for.

a week passes. zack hasn’t seen sephiroth in town and every time he visits him, he is shoved away and ignored. it doesn’t even look like he’s been sleeping. it’s his horror when he wakes up to the increased heat in october and the smell of smoke that he finds out nibelheim is on fire. going to confront sephiroth, he sees tifa curled up, cursing shinra and SOLDIER. he meets him in the reactor where he’s talking to jenova, which he fights him not soon afterwards. just like genesis and angeal, monsters from experiments. sephiroth is no longer the man he had once trusted and admired, so he must either kill him or try and talk him out his hazed trance of god superiority. which is pathetic to think about, because if he couldn’t convince angeal, what makes him think he can talk to sephiroth? zack is striked down, too weak to fight on, so seeing cloud approach, he begs for him to finish sephiroth off. for what he’s seen, it looks like killed him. that victory is short lived when he becomes unconscious. 

for the next 4 years, his dreams died as fast as he desired them. he vaguely remembers such unjust experiments done to him; pumping in so much mako and the power of jenova cells it feels like the flesh is melting off his bones and his heart pounds heavily in his chest. zack doesn’t even realize it’s been 4 years, maybe several days max when he sees angeal’s image in his sleep. he tries to scream for him, but nothing comes out. he bangs on the glass, but there’s no sound. the next few seconds flash by, and now he’s on the ground in some lab. where was he? that didn’t matter. he’s free now, and he’s see cloud in a pod that was next to his own. from then on, it was his duty to take care of cloud until he woke up. it didn’t matter if he didn’t wake up for 3 months, he was still going to be by his side. it’s the least he could do, he owes him so much for getting cloud involved in this mess. 

when he’s finally able to change his clothes, he realizes upon closer inspection that cloud is suffering from severe mako poisoning. he’s seen it in several SOLDIER members who were addicted to it, like they were in such a catatonic state it took them a day to several to get over it. he can’t imagine the intake he has taken, but zack was fine, already being infused with it previously. 

he takes cloud to the coast of a beach that wasn’t far from nibelheim, but by the time he got there, it was night time. he didn’t mind, he needed a break anyways and they had to wait it out until morning because of all the shinra patrols. which, has hasn’t figured out why there were so many to begin with. he’s approached by cissnei, but she wasn’t here for a friendly conversation, her weapon drawn. she asks if he’s the runaway specimen, which gives zack the idea that while he got his wish of no longer being a SOLDIER, he is now seen nothing as an experiment gone wrong. that’s not quite what he had mind, but also finding out that being gone for 4 years makes sense, being presumed dead when he was captured. how was he supposed to function in this world now when it’s moved on and you’re left behind? it was cissnei’s orders to capture him alive, but zack would be dead than rather to be back in shinra’s hands. seeing her able to actually put up a fight, zack escapes to meet back up with cloud. cissnei comes back, but offers him her peace, and a vehicle for them to runaway in. he thanks cissnei, and cloud and zack attempt to back to midgar, while trying to run from shinra.

another year passes, he sees genesis on the road, which he’s been told that zack’s “gift of the goddess”. becoming captured, a genesis clone eats some of his hair to help stop his degradation, except the cells had adapted to zack’s body, having already intaken mako in the past. the clone transforms into a monster, which zack has to fight to pass. he does, becoming more frustrated and angry until he reaches gongaga. he decides to make a pit stop, but cissnei finds him, telling that his hometown is such an obvious place for shinra to find zack. except he spots a white wing and a flash of angeal’s face. 

he leaves cissnei and goes to chase the figure, finding out it’s lazard who had become an angeal copy. once wanting revenge and filled with anger, absorbing angeal’s cells caused him to have a strong will and the desire to help out zack. he’s degrading, and it shows by the withered feathers. unexpectedly, he asks what zack’s dreams were. this time, he takes serious consideration. no longer someone of shinra or SOLDIER, he’s free to do whatever he pleases, however now that’s very sure in his goal, he tells lazard that he wants to a hero. this time, not for fame or to see how great people are. if he can save one person, then he can be a hero. if he can help at least one person, then that’s good enough for him. he doesn’t care about fame, or the glory that comes with a praised name. that’s boring and not for him at all. lazard laughs and tells him exactly what he had said before when he first asked those years ago: unattainable dreams are the best kind.

genesis and hollander find them, which hollander now has become a genesis clone. genesis informs him that cloud is the last bearer of pure s - cells. upon them trying to take it, zack officially kills hollander at last, which he leaves cloud with a wounded lazard. zack finally gets the hint with the constant banora apples he always holds that genesis works from banora. he asks a dying lazard to look after cloud as he goes to finish off a further degrading genesis. he chases him underground and finds and finishes him. after all this time, he can’t feel the harbor of anger and hatred he once had towards genesis, but now only pity and sadness. all this for a shred of immortality, just because he was afraid of dying. however, he can’t forgive all those people he’s captured and extracted for any hopes to stop his degradation process as a failed experiment. he leaves genesis down in the banora underground where the lifestream goes through.

coming back to the surface, he sees lazard dead with the angeal copy that had protected aerith in her church. zack rests with cloud when the last angeal copy to dies, thanking it for protecting aerith this whole time while he was away. with his new found motivation, zack hitches with cloud on the back of a truck on the way to midgar. zack tells him that he wants to become a mercenary, any job that’s dangerous or boring, as long as it has pay. he also informs cloud that he’ll join him too, because they’re friends, right? he also has “conversations” with a continued catatonic cloud about how he can’t wait for him to meet aerith. zack thinks the two of them will get along perfectly, like they’re two peas in a pod. also recalling how cloud had issues with talk about tifa, he hopes that cloud gets that resolved because he’s sure tifa misses him a lot and wants him to come home (which, it’s unfortunately no longer nibelheim). zack continues to talk to cloud about nonsense, even silly stories about being in SOLDIER. he says once that kunsel had e - mail’d him like crazy when he mysteriously found that he was still alive. it’s like he’s too ashamed to face him now. 

he spots a shinra road block, which zack thanks the driver and sets cloud to the side, telling him he’ll be right back. he’s convinced that he will die here but he will continue to fight for his freedom as long as he was associated with SOLDIER in any time frame. that’s fine with him. approaching him, he gives a sigh and a shake of his head. then pressing the blade to his forehead, he speaks to himself. whatever happens, protect your dreams…  and your honor. fight for your freedom and your right to exist! come and get it! before charging at the army in his wake. 

it feels like the battle went on for hours, being targeted at several different directions. the weight of the buster sword was becoming too heavy, his arms feeling like lead and legs feeling like jello. dodge a bullet there, block a punch there. even several summons later, it like his body was running on auto - drive. he’s lost vision in one eye, but he can still fight. the pain is numbed by the adrenaline running through his body and how his lungs are struggling for air with every swing he takes. was he really going to die here? his first mistake was believing in shinra’s ideals and goals, and continuing to follow them, what kind of idiot was him? quickly went down from being a respectable, admirable leadership to someone who’s the lowest of the low. shinra won’t keep midgar safe. everyone is pawns, they’re all expendable. they don’t care about its people, they will sacrifice as many as they can. what’s their end goal? he doesn’t know. he just wants to right all the wrongs he’s done, all the ignorant stuff he’s said. it’s all over. he owes the people.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry.

it’s almost a hour later, his back is laid against the bloodied ground with a cloudy sky above him with the hilt of the blade loosely being held in his hand. did he… make it? his heart rate is slow but as long as he can still move. was cloud okay? that was his main concern. cloud… his voice is quiet, rasp as he struggles to sit up. blood is pouring down his face and neck, a rib was cracked, but that was the last thing on his mind. cloud, we did it. there’s a very weak smile on his face, his left eye is non - functional, and he’s using his buster sword as a crutch. a rather pathetic sight. did you see that? he finds cloud resting exactly where he rested him. good, he’s so relieved. he struggles to pick cloud up, but with his arm held across his shoulders, he’s wincing and in so much pain, but they had to keep moving. we’re almost there. then he can see aerith again, the freedom of the sky of his victory well won.

however, he collapses upon half way making it to midgar, unconscious from blood loss, but when he wakes up, he’s at the slums sector 7 train station. he looks at his side and see cloud still knocked out. he’s safe. he’s spotted by tifa, who regonizes cloud and brings them back to the apartments. zack is treated by a doctor, with 2 cracked ribs and a loss of his left eye, which is covered up with a bandaged eye patch. cloud is still catatonic, however slowly regaining consciousness, as he is showing more body function than he has in the past year. while recovering, zack is introduced to avalanche, who’s goal was to fight against shinra and their greedy destruction of the planet. zack decides to still work as a mercenary while aiding avalanche, to take back what they’ve killed and caused chaos with. he decides to take tifa to the side and apologize for what happened in nibelheim and her dad, even feeling solely responsible. 

when zack is able to fight, he takes up the job to help bomb a reactor, albeit hesitant, and helping up around  the sector 7 slums with the neighborhood watch, even going to the sector 5 slums and reuniting with aerith. even after all this, he still maintains a positive face, joking with the lack of a brain cell.

however, bombing the reactor has tied him with shinra once again, instead of being a SOLDIER 1st class, he’s an escaped fugitive; a betrayer of shinra. the events after this is still to be determined.

[thank-you-pete-archive]

Hey, regarding my Spider-sona/spider-oc commission post, this is kinda what the drawing would look like, if you'd want one. It doesn't cost anything, and all u gotta do is dm me or send in an ask w/ the description! Also, this is my dude, not someone else's. (Click for better res. Thanks Tumblr for killing quality. Who is she? It don't know her.)

Now, lets do this one lest time. Final round:

This is Peter Philip Parker. Shut up, he knows it's all P's. In his world, he's in the year 2938 and he lives in New Fuji. He was bit by a radioactive spider 3 years ago, and has since been the one and only Spider-Man(also known as Green-Dragon Spider. This comes into play with his powers).

There was a project that was testing radioactivity on living organisms. Peter, 11 at the time, was job shadowing a scientist who was working on this, and for some reason, decided to take him in the room because he was a quiet kid who didn't get in the way. Peter was just studying what they did and how they tested, and then they brought out a spider. It had already been radiated when it was dropped and the spider was free from the cage. It bit Peter as the last thing it ever did before dying. The radiation was too much for the spider to handel, and it died.

No one saw the spider bite Peter, and he pretended like it never happened. He pretended to find it dead, and the scientists quickly got him out of there. After that, you know the rest, he gets his powers and stuff. Has to figure it out on his own. Peter actually thought he was gonna die, but he's all good.

He starts to get the hang of his powers, which are different from the others, but he does have spidey sense and supper strength. His powers come from his spit, because it's acidic. He spits in a tube every hour because if he doesn't the acid will eat away at his mouth and insides(he learned the hard way). He uses his spit to fill up these acid pockets in his suit. That mask on his suit catches acid that he spits out and puts it in the suit as well. When there's enough acid in the pockets he can trigger them to pop and burn whoever he's fighting. Whatever acid doesn't leave the surface of thesuit gets absorbed back in to be used later. His extra eyes on the suit are cameras that he uses to enhance peripheral vision while fighting. He has web wings like the one's in homecoming, where he can deploy them at will but also make them go away. He can also have acid soaked webs as well as normal webs.

Green dragon is a drug term(i think?? I saw it on synonyms for acid like the drug so) and his wings kinda make him look like a dragon. He also has the fang like shape for his mouth opening that looks like dragon fangs?? Ya, but he made the suit by himself and his current one seen in the pic is his 24th version that he plans on sticking with.

He's a big nerd, but sucks at school. He hates most of the things that they teach at his school and all the science stuff is too easy for him. The only class he has an A in is art bc he loves art. Oh, he's a Freshmen in Highschool btw(for people outside the US that means he's 14-15 years old, if ur not held back). He isn't failing any of his classes, he just doesn't do well on purpose and gets C's in his classes. He plays oboe in the school band as well. He kinda likes that class, but he isn't very passionate about it.

and, yes i have to add spideypool bc i love them sm, he's in love with this kid, oh, you might know him. His name is Wade. Wade is the goalie for their school soccer team. They have math together, and science, and literacy, and history. They're in the second to lowest classes for all of those categories. That's another reason Peter's grades suck, because he want's to be in the same class as Wade. Anyways, they're also p good friends and Wade just thinks that Pete is doing this bc they're friends. Wade IS Deadpool as well, but his suit is made of metal thats woven to look like a cloth material instead of leather. He's also more high-tech. Spidey made his suit bc tbh Wade's too stupid to do any of that.

Peter's middle name, Philip, was his grandpa's name, who died of natural causes before Peter was born. Peter's parents were killed in a car crash when he was a baby, and was given to his Grandma and Aunt to be raised. His Aunt lives with his grandma to keep her company and to take care of her.

Oof that was long, sorry. Anyways, commission me if you want!!

[itsahockeynight]

Can we hear more about the reverse pining idea? You asked for someone to ask. :)

OKAY thank u for sending this ask bc it reminded me to go back and save the conversation with tori @backstrom that this came from… and yes it IS inspired by that picture but also by nearly every young guns picture of the two of them together because their faces do things, you know? anyway.

SO calling it “reverse pining” is a bit misleading but it’s the best I could do as a short-hand for saying “you know how so many fics and commentary on pictures of them from pre-2013 or so are about how ovi’s enthusiastically smitten with nicky as soon as they meet, and nicky’s not quite sure how to handle it because he thinks it’s just friends even though he wants more? what if we twisted that sideways a bit”

concept: NICKY is the one who’s extremely smitten from the get-go

he handles it in true nicky fashion: going bright red and stumbling over his words a lot, and also pretending it’s not happening with all his might

he’s dying inside because ovi is just very physical with people he likes and he likes nicky so he wants to drape himself over him all the time!!! how is nicky supposed to cope with this?? he’s only a teenager he’s seconds away from popping a boner at any one time

aside from that ovi’s like that with EVERYONE so nicky knows he’s not interested which also makes it worse on an emotional level

he somehow survives it long enough to become good friends with ovi, which, unfortunately, tips him over from “embarrassing crush” territory into “oh shit I might actually fall in love with one of my best friends” territory

(this is happening slowly over years, in case you were wondering. yes, mike green is suffering. someone help him.)

neither nicky nor ovi have noticed that ovi’s oviness is way more pronounced when nicky’s around (sasha has noticed. he’s rolling his eyes right now)

ovi’s just like “yeah of course I like hanging out with nicky! nicky’s great! great player! great guy! great hair! great jokes!”

spoiler alert: ovi’s falling in love with nicky. he doesn’t know. he just thinks they’re good friends. ovi is not the most observant guy, off ice. that’s the only reason he never noticed nicky’s absolutely blinding crush on him

the only reason they break out of this cycle is the lockout. because ovi stays in russia, right? and it’s just Wrong. the hockey is Wrong. this centre they want him to play with is Wrong. hanging out with these guys is Wrong. nicky’s not here and that’s Wrong Wrong Wrong

cue ovi calling nicky EVER SINGLE DAY asking him to, essentially, come over and hang out because ovi misses him

nicky misses ovi too. he hesitates for a while because he knows he and ovi will be even more attached at the hip while he’s there and, while he’s not losing it every time ovi hugs him any more, he’s not sure how he’ll handle that

you know how it goes: nicky eventually decides to say “fuck it” and goes

ovi meets him at dynamo’s headquarters or wherever the fuck this place is (yes, click the link, look at their faces. please.)

ovi’s been excited to hear that nicky’s coming, you know? he’s got plans for like. places to take him for dinner and shit. russian phrases he’s gonna have to teach him again because some of the stuff nicky “knows” is actually rude shit not “excuse me where’s to rink?”

then nicky is right there. when ovi hasn’t seen him for the longest time they’ve been apart the whole time they’ve known each other

it’s a good thing they got a proper translator because ovi is not paying attention to anything that’s going on. it’s a blur. his brain’s just nickynickynickynickynickynickynickynickynickynickynicky

(nicky’s delighted to see him too, but he’s not the one having a crisis so we’re sticking with ovi’s pov now)

they’re finally alone in ovi’s car and he has to grip the wheel so tight to stop himself just. burying his face in nicky’s chest and staying there for an hour. or kissing him. or something

somehow they do not have an accident. ovi holds a relatively normal conversation the whole drive.

now: I have no idea how this worked irl, but in this universe, nicky’s gonna live in ovi’s spare bedroom. so they go to ovi’s apartment. and ovi, who is still going what do I do with these feelings holy shit just. kisses nicky on the mouth as soon as they get inside

nicky, obviously, is freaked out by this, because what the hell, his world has just been turned sideways and he doesn’t know what ovi MEANS by this either like. nicky can’t go casual here he’s been in too deep too long

the next part is best summerised by just. copying the chat exchange:

me: then ovi freaks out about nicke freaking outtori: theyre both standing on the couch yellin at each other in panicme: OH yesthey work out eventually that they’re not actually having an argumenttori: e v e n t u a l l yme: it’s after nicke’s nearly crying, storms into his new bedroom and slams the doortori: ohme: then he suddenly realises what ovi was trying to say and is like WAIT SHITmeanwhile ovi suddenly realises nicke’s had a thing for him for ages NO WONDER HE FREAKED OUT and then they end up shouting apologies at each other insteadtori: smooching apologiesme: both is good

the end

[97bread]

why hello!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💛 at the beginning of december last year, i hit 1k!! and with that being said, i thought that it would be appropriate to make my first follow forever! i'd like to take time to appreciate the mutuals that i have, and the friends that i’ve come to make this past year. i’m a very shy person, and so last year was a great accomplishment for me in terms of meeting new people and actually branching out to others!! i never thought i would be able to do stuff like that. i was able to meet so many amazing people that i couldn’t imagine not being in my life!! and while it’s still january, i would like to add that i hope that everyone has a fantastic year!! here’s to an amazing year filled with much joy & love! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)💛

also v quickly!! i’d like to thank abbey for my ff header !! 💐

key: 🐻 - you brighten up my dash !! 🌿 - i love ‘n appreciate you so much !! heck 💛 - i’m so glad we’re mutuals/friends 💌 - i’m an emo water sign and wrote u a letter :/

special shoutout to my irl friends ( @angemagica, @alleywaydreamer, @hazelbella, @panther4444, @possiblymichaeljones, @timesnewamericana ) for dealing with my annoying bum both irl and online... (´ω｀) ;; 🌙

a-f;

@ahgamark 🐻💛 / @attaboygf 🐻🌿💛 / @baekphia 🐻🌿💛 / @bamethyst 🐻🌿💛 / @baobeijackson 🐻🌿💛💌 / @birf 🐻🌿💛💌 / @bootybam 🐻 / @brokuroo 🐻 / @choiyoungjae 🐻🌿💛💌 / @cutepimook 🐻 / @cyjsgirl 🐻🌿💛 / @darlingjbum 🐻🌿💛 / @dovble-b 🐻🌿 / @dreamygyeom 🐻🌿💛 / @dreamyugyeom 🐻🌿💛 / @exoticface 🐻 / @fldeparture 🐻💛 / @flight-logs 🐻 / @flowrcafe 🐻

g-l;

@gayshinas 🐻💛 / @gikwangies 🐻 / @got7tooprettyfortheirowngood 🐻 / @gsvnrewind 🐻🌿💛 / @gye0mie 🐻🌿💛 / @gyeomsluna 🐻🌿💛 / @happyholidae 🐻🌿💛 / @hhyunbin 🐻 / @hoseom 🐻🌿💛 / @httpmarkie 🐻 / @ibegin 🐻 / @icarusjjp 🐻 / @iheartyugyeom 🐻🌿💛💌 / @iloveujaebum 🐻🌿💛 / @imjbummed 🐻 / @imxjaebeom 🐻 / @irenc 🐻💛 / @iridescent--wings 🐻 / @j-aer 🐻🌿💛 / @j1ny0ung 🐻🌿💛 / @jacksonwangblog 🐻🌿💛💌 / @jacksonwng 🐻 / @jajajaebum 🐻🌿 / @jinyoungslegs 🐻 / @jinyoungslover 🐻🌿💛 / @jj-nyoung 🐻 / @jj-prxject 🐻 / @joohunn 🐻 / @jsutright 🐻 / @lattegyeom 🐻🌿💛💌 / @limjaebum 🐻🌿💛 / @lisassgf 🐻🌿💛 / @lomlmark 🐻

m-r;

@marksluv 🐻💛 / @marksseunie 🐻🌿💛 / @mart-art 🐻🌿💛 / @mochabam 🐻🌿💛💌 / @mochimork 🐻🌿 / @morkookie 🐻🌿💛💌 / @n0average 🐻 / @odetopcy 🐻 / @park-jjinyoung 🐻 / @peachjy 🐻🌿💛 / @peachyugy 🐻🌿💛 / @pink-gyeom 🐻 / @pinkjbeom 🐻 / @pinkjy 🐻🌿 / @pizzawasabi 🐻 / @protectmarkjin 🐻 / @redgyeomie 🐻 / @redrookie 🐻

s-z;

@sadvinyl 🐻 / @sailordeer 🐻 / @sftchans 🐻 / @sharkmoji 🐻 / @shelovesjinyoung 🐻🌿💛 / @slay-bum 🐻 / @softforjackson 🐻🌿💛 / @softjnyoung 🐻🌿💛💌 / @softsmol 🐻 / @su-mel-strawberry4 🐻 / @sugarmaterfamilias 🐻 / @sunbeamjinhappybirthday 🐻 / @taehyunas 🐻 / @taeyeonzx 🐻 / @teenagermp3 🐻🌿 / @theycallme-tunathot 🐻 / @ungiis 🐻 / @vanelaqream 🐻 / @velveteen-queen 🐻💛 / @wangseunie 🐻 / @whyugyeom 🐻 / @yoongifer 🐻 / @youngjaesloudlaugh 🐻🌿💛 / @yu-gyeomiebabo 🐻🌿💛 / @yugy 🐻🌿💛 / @yugyeomsbaby 🐻🌿

#;

@11mark 🐻🌿💛💌 / @127stan 🐻🌿💛 / @2gi 🐻 / @2ndlove 🐻 / @3-rachas 🐻 / @6oct 🐻🌿 / @724148 🐻 / @7uv 🐻

💌 baobeijackson ( sam !! ) - sam!! hello my lovely human being. i love you sooo much, angel!! but i bet you already knew that, heh. :p you mean lots and lots to me, and i don’t think i can ever truly express just how much. before we really started talking, you always made sure to check up on me to make sure i was okay... and that really made me happy. :/ that’s how i knew you were such a sweetheart!! as you know, i Suck at replying, but everything you say/send me makes me smile because i know how much you care about me, and your friends. i love how i can confide in you when i have a problem, and i just want you to know how proud i am of you for all of your achievements, big or small!! you are such a lovely person, and people need to know just how much. i love you soooo much sam!!! i hope that one day we can meet, i really do. (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💕 💌 birf ( jilly !! ) - jillian!! we don’t get to talk too often, but when we do, i really love it. you are such a big sweetheart, and i love your sense of humor so hecking much. i love talking to you so very much!! i also love how much you love jaebum, because it makes me smile so much... :’/ your sense of fashion is literally out of this world!!! did you know that? 💞 i admire the taste in fashion you have so much, it’s so awesome. i love the memes that you bring to the table, and your passion for the things that you love!! i love you lots and lots jillian, you’re truly one of a kind and someone who deserves the world and more. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) 💌 choiyoungjae ( fawn !! ) - fawn!! i believe that you were one of my very first got7 mutuals, and to this day that fact makes me so very happy. you’re one passionate human being, and one of the kindest people that i’ve ever had the privilege of talking to!!! you’re an actual angel. we don’t talk very often, but i love seeing you on my dash so much and i love it when we can have the chance to talk... because you’re literally so sweet. your love for youngjae fuels the fire in my heart tbh, it’s so lovely. you really care about him and it makes me so happy. :( 💖 i love your creative content so much, because it’s so unique and interesting! your gifs are so cool. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) i hope that we can talk more!! because you are truly such a wonderful gem to have around, and i love you!! (´∀｀=)✨

💌 iheartyugyeom ( hayley !! ) - my lovely hayley!!! did you know that i love you so much? :/ because i really do. your snaps brighten my day/night, and i love how funny and caring you are. you were one of my first friends here, and i’d never take that back. :/ you make me so very happy!! even if i suck at expressing that heck ; i love it when you gush about yugy and how i can gush right back with you, and how safe ‘n comfortable i feel when talking to you. i love you so much!! if i had the chance to fly to aussi, i’d meet you right away because!! i just love you so much. :( thank you for always being such a big sweetheart!!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

💌 jacksonwangblog ( karobean !! ) - there’s literally so much i want to say? i literally love you so much, and you’re someone i can’t imagine my life without. i’ll probably cry writing this like the crybaby i am, but?? i just need to let you know how much you mean to me. not a day goes by that i don’t regret messaging you, even if it took the life out of me. we clicked literally right away, and i remember our very first time actually dying of laughter was over the term flabbergasted. that seems so long ago, and i know that we’ve literally had 493705349594508409 inside jokes since then. but can u believe that of all things was the first?? and then chocroivol.. itwwotst guy.. aliens & french fries, soulmate matters, swimming across the atlantic.. so much. you’re the virgo to my scorpio, the perfect dane to my american, the jack to my bam, my everything. :’/ you’re someone i can truly confide in and i know that you’ll be real with me and tell me how you feel, which is something i love.. because it makes me know that you’re telling me what you think is best for me. i love how we can have 40910 different conversation topics within the span of 10 minutes, and i love how much you can make me smile and laugh. the amount of times that i’ve been in public and smiling like an idiot at my phone is.. wow. not only can you make me laugh, but you’re someone who’s taught me so much about the world, and you’re someone that’s really inspired me to live my life to the fullest. we both have our moments when we’re sad at the same time, but i love how we can always count on one another to cheer each other up. one of my biggest goals in life is to get to denmark and meet you, because you literally mean the whole entire world to me. you’re one of my best friends in life, and i’d never trade that for the world!! i love you so, so much karoline, you mean more than words to me. jeg elsker dig mere end stjernerne! de skinner lyst, men du skinner endnu lysere. tak for eksisterende, jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg ville gøre uden dig!! du fortjener verden og mere, jeg håber du ved det! jeg elsker dig så højt, min sol!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 💌 lattegyeom ( abbey !! ) - oh my gogdskjd, abbey. i truly, and utterly adore you to pieces. i can’t really express just how much, but it’s so much. you’re always there for me when i need someone most, and you always have the sweetest things to say to me. you’re so gentle and loving, and that’s just one of the many things that i love about you. you’ve helped me through a lot, and i can’t thank you enough. i really relate to you, and you’re someone i know i can trust 100%. you’ve taught me so much about the sky and what it holds, and you’ve helped me to understand myself when i couldn’t even do it on my own. and that’s something i truly am thankful for, because?? it just means so much to me. you’re so fking genuine, too. you care about the people around you, and it really does show. you’re one of those people that can light up rooms, i’m so sure of it!! you’re someone that means so, so much to me, and i’m always so thankful for your existence!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑) i look up to you lots and lots, and you’re someone i’d never want to disappoint. your love for yugyeom is one in a million, too. you love him to pieces, and i know he’d love you just as much back. (trust me, we’re both scorp suns and gemi moons!! we love u.) i can’t imagine my life without you, and i s2g i’ll drive up to MN one day and take you out to coffee!! you deserve all the happiness in the world, m’lovely abberson!!! thank you for teaching me so much and caring about me, because they all mean so much to me in more ways than i could ever begin to explain. you’re one of my best friends, and i cherish you so much. (also uh thanks for putting up with my memey ass when i know u hate 87% of the horrid memes i send u :p) i love you sooooo much abbey!!! my star-dusted angel !! (*´∇｀*)💫💛  💌 mochabam ( jemmy !! ) - JEMMY MY LOVE MY ANGEL MY LOVELY PAL!!! can i just say how happy i am that we started to talk more and more?? because you make me so happy and the way you can make me laugh is phenomenal. we have so many lil jokes, and i love knowing how stupid i can personally be and yet you’ll just laugh ever so lovingly with me. you have so much love to give, and it always amazes me just how much! i treasure you so much, and i care about you a great deal. you’re always there to listen to me when i need someone, and you can always cheer me up. i love how we’re always here for one another!!! your love for bambam is the sweetest and most genuine thing i have ever seen, and it really warms my hear. speaking of the loaf.. the loaf and i love you so, so much, and we’ll always be here for you no matter what!! i love you so much, m’coconut princess!! i hope you know how loved and appreciated you are!! i’m so thankful that you exist, and that i’ve come to know you in the way that i have. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ💓💫 💌 morkookie ( alex !! ) - um... can i just start off by saying that i love you so, so very much? :/ let me say it again, but in your mother-tongue: ich liebe dich so sehr!! wow... :( you’re the loml, my mikan, and someone who is so very precious to me. i’d move mountains for you if i could!! i always want to make sure that you’re happy. you’re just one of those people, y’know? someone that i adore with my entire heart. your love and passion for me makes me so happy, and i just want you to know that i’m the same way back. you make me very soft, and i love your calming voice. you may think that your german accent may sound the exact opposite of what i’m about to say, but i love your voice so much. it’s so!! soothing to me, and i love it when you rant to me in german. i love my fiery woman. :p 💓 your love for jungkook is uh... exceptional. i love how much you love him, and i love knowing how pure and true it is. i mean who else would hecking go get his picture printed off and frame it. i love you and your shenanigans so, so much. i want to meet you so badly, so we can do everything on our list together. the day i meet you is going to be one of the best days of my life, whether it be in deutschland oder amerika. you mean so much to me, and i want you to know that. i know that when i tell you my problems you’re real and honest with me, and i love it. you’re always here for me. i love you so, so much alex... thank you for being you and for loving me the way you do. (´∇｀)💐💞 💌 softjnyoung ( rae !! ) - rae... my mama bun... my love!! you’re someone that means the whole entire world to me, because i know how much you care about/love me. you’re a beautiful woman, both inside and out!!! you’re always willing to talk about random topics with me, and i love how that’s one of the ways that we were able to bond with one another. i love talking to you almost every day, and i love how much i can confide in you. you’re someone i clicked with so, extremely fast, and i’d never take that away. you’re there for me when i need you, and you always make me feel so loved and appreciated. but guess what!! i love you more, and i always will. you hold such a special place in my heart, and that will never change. you’re someone i really look up to, and someone that i truly adore. you have so much wisdom, and you’re always willing to share it with me. you’re a whole big softie, and i love just how soft you can be for the people that you love. you always manage to put up with my crybaby self, but i know it’s because you care about me so much, and i can’t tell you how much i appreciate that. i swear when i go back to germany i’ll come and see you, and we can go get spaghettieis!! it’ll be the best experience in the whole entire world. your lil bunny loves you so much! you’re the sunshine when she feels at her lowest, and you can always brighten her days. you make me laugh to the point i can’t breathe, and i love how genuine you are. thank you for always caring about me, and just know that i care about you so, so much. you’re one of my best friends, and i’d never take that away. i love you soooo much, rae! more than you’d ever know! (๑˃̵◡˂̵๑)✨💛

💌 11mark ( victoria !! ) - victoria !!!! you’re such a soft little sunshine, did you know that?? you’ll always be someone that is so special to me. you were my cute lil rosey anon, and now you’re my cute lil rosey lovin’ pal!! you’re always there to make sure that i’m feeling alright, and i love it when you check in on me. you really care for me, and it shows so much!!! i care about you a great deal, too. you’re always introducing me to new things, and you’ve sparked my interest in the bulgarian culture. you’re my cute angel, and i love you dearly. i hope that we can continue to talk and grow closer, because you mean so so much to me!! thank you for coming forward and talking to me, because it means the whole entire world to me that we talk. i love our lil convos, even if they happen at odd times in the day! (heck those time zones. :p) i love you so much angel, continue to be yourself ‘n never change!! because i love you just the way you are. (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)🌹💛

[myheroicimagines]

The Magick is in the Moment (Denki/Reader) pt.1

Guess who’s back?! It me! I got kinda burned out of ideas, but nothing like Kiki’s Delivery Service to get the creative juices flowing, am I right? I hope you enjoy the story! ~Admin Sparkles

---

When the reality of quirks came into the world, there was only one thing on everyone’s mind; superheroes could be real, instead of just pictures in a comic book. With this in mind, nearly everyone in every generation wanted to become one of these heroes of lore, with either fame and glory, money, or a genuine want to help people being their driving force.

You were not one of these people.

Well, you supposed you were a hero in your own way; you did help people with problems, and protected them through certain means. But while the actual heroes helped through fighting and rescue missions, you helped through sigils and spells and potions. You were not a superhero, but rather a witch. You lived in a small cottage in the countryside, with a giant garden containing all the herbs and plants you would ever need, and that garden lead downwards to a large river, where you loved to spend your downtime, reading your books and enjoying the peace nature always brought you. Your small cottage also doubled as a shop, where people could pay you to make them personalized spells, help them create sigils, and make potions, or come to you for different divinations such as tarot readings and palm readings. It was a simple life, but if brought you much joy.

Your shop brought in usuals; a young teen looking for advice on love, a new mother who wanted a spell for her baby to be healthy and protected, a college student wanting to make a sigil to bring them wisdom while they set out on the world alone for the first time. This time, however, a new face came through the door to your little shop, eyes darting around the place curiously, looking at each object on the walls and on the shelves, each plant and herb that hung in a pot, each curious rune or marking on your wall, and a tapestry depicting the tarot card ‘The Empress’. This male had blonde hair, with a peculiar looking lightning bolt black stripe on his hair. A cute one, that’s for sure. Making his way up to the counter, he cleared his throat as he looked at you. “I..U-Uhm..Are you Y/N? Like, the witch Y/N? Well, I mean, obviously you are, I mean this is your home and it is quite witchy and you did have a black cat out there--unless that isn’t yours! I guess it could be a stray and-- Let me start over.” The blonde said, his cheeks glowing red. You smirked slightly, leaning forward, resting your chin in your hand. Newcomers often got nervous around witches, and the way he blushed let you know the glamour you casted on yourself was working.

The man in front of you started over.

“My name is Kaminari Denki. I’m a pro-hero, and I..I guess I need some sort of spell or sigil or something.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Every time I go into battle, my friends get hurt.” He told you with a distressed frown. The look on his face was so hurt, so worried, you couldn’t help but mirror his expression.

“It comes with the job, doesn’t it?” You questioned, straightening up a bit. “Not to sound rude, but hero work isn’t exactly safe.” You shrugged frowning. This only made him frown more, and you quickly regretted your statement.

“I know what we do isn’t the safest work, but it’s necessary. There are those who would wish harm on innocent people, and there needs to be those who protect the ones who cannot protect themselves. My friends are selfless, and I want to make sure they are safe.” He answered, confident in his answer. At this, you smiled, pleased by his response.

“You are quite selfless yourself, Kaminari Denki.” You stated, making your way from behind the counter and towards the blonde male. “Unfortunately, I cannot make you a sigil that protects your friends.” You said. His face turned downcast, and he opened his mouth to speak, however you put up a single hand, stopping him before he could. “Sigils work for the user, and as far as I can gather from my studies, one cannot make a sigil for another, and that sigil be used for a group of people. What I can do is teach you how to make one.” You told him. Motioning him to follow, you brought him through your garden and down to the river it lead to, bringing a pen and a blank piece of paper. You both sat down on the ground, and handing Denki the paper and pen, you explain what needed to be done. “Magick is done in different ways. There is no wrong way to do magick, unless it is to be done with ill-will. Now, close your eyes, and focus your mind on what you wish to do. What is it you wish to do?” You asked him.

“I want to protect my friends and loved ones.” He replied.

“Take your intentions then, and concentrate only on that. Clear your mind, and let your intentions take form. When you have the image, keep it strong and write it down. I will leave you be so you can have peace of mind. Come to me when you are finished.” And with that, you left him.

Almost thirty minutes had passed before he came back inside. At that point, you had just finished handing an elderly women a potion for better sleep. Looking over at him, you gave a hopeful smile. “Did everything go well?” You questioned him, gathering the things you had gotten for the potion and putting them back in their rightful places.

“I think so. Here let me show you--” Once again, you put your hand up silently, stopping him from doing anything.

“It is not for me to see. It is made by you, and only for you.” You explained with a smile as you reached up to place an object on a high shelf. However, the object-- a cup with different markings on the inside-- slipped through your fingers. Both you and Denki made a quick move to save the cup, both catching it. As your fingers touched, you could feel a spark of energy pass through the both of you, and Denki knew it wasn’t his quirk acting up. Your eyes locked, and for a moment, there was silence. Coming to realization of the quiet between you two, you blinked, placing the cup down on the counter. “A-Ah, thank you.” You stuttered, moving back a bit. Never before had you felt such an energy.

“W-Well, I suppose I should get going now.” Denki said, his mind still moving a mile a minute at what had just occurred. He made his way towards the door, stopping before he made his leave. “You know..I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who’s quirk is magic.” He said, a bit impressed. At this you chuckled, touching a dying plant beside you, bringing it to life once more and making Denki’s eyes go wide. No, magick was not your quirk, but rather plant growth. “Magick is not my power, Denki Kaminari. It is simply my practice.” You said with a smirk. Denki blushed slightly and nodded, and started walking out the door, with you walking behind him and seeing him out. “And Denki,” You started, leaning against your door frame.

“Yes?” He asked, quickly turning towards you.

“Don’t be so nervous next time. Not all witches are wicked.” You said with a wink, the black cat Denki saw earlier rubbing against your leg affectionately. You closed the door behind you and made your way back inside.

One thing was for sure: Denki was definitely coming back.

[sept-dix]

high school au! ong  seongwoo

summary: ong is the president of your school’s drama club genre: fluff a/n: please tell me what you think!!! and thank you for reading heh

ong is super popular in your school like almost everyone knows him 

and being the president of your school’s drama club is only part of the reason why

he’s very well known for being very warm and welcoming to everyone without bias, and he never fails to bring up the mood and make people laugh

unlike the other popular kids, it’s obvious that ong is actually genuinely nice and that he sincerely likes the people around him so it’s amazing

anyways so about the drama club

you decided to join the drama club this year because you used to dabble in theatre a while back, and your school’s drama club was known for being really bonded and fun

and you thought it would be fun to join even if just for the experience

during your first few sessions with the club, you already knew that you had made the right choice because everyone was being super friendly and welcoming towards you 

true to the stereotype, everyone was extremely loud and energetic all the time and you loved the atmosphere so much

the first time you got properly introduced to ong was at the end of the first session

usually theatre kids do this thing at the end of each rehearsal/session where they sit together and kind of just talk as a form of debrief

it didn’t necessarily have to be related to the day of rehearsal, it could be about anything anyone had in mind

just because shows are usually a lot better when the cast members themselves have good synergy offstage

so during that debrief session on the first day, ong introduced himself as the president to those of you newcomers 

you had a good impression of him right away because he seemed so nice and he made it clear that anyone could approach him about any problem at any time and he would be there to talk to you about it

and you were like damn. thats nice

anyways club dinners were when you got the chance to actually become close to him

usually when rehearsals ended it was already super late and yall were starving + dinners together as a club is a good way to bond

it just so happened that for the first dinner both of you ended up sitting next to each other 

and damn. you guys hit it off right away

like ong was thinking who is this person who makes so many lame jokes

and you were thinking why is this boy always tryna get attention (you could relate)

when both of you simultaneously dipped your fries into your ice cream it was decided for real

“aren’t we soulmates??1?!”

“yup. no other explanation”

that’s how it all started. from then on you guys just got closer and closer

even on days when you guys weren’t having club dinners both of you would go out on your own for dinner or snacks

for warmups and stuff if y’all were trying out some whacky new activity (as theatre kids do) then ong would call you up to come and demonstrate it with him to the rest of the club

sometimes he would ask you about his president stuff like 

“y/n, do you think our club would appreciate getting matching socks

“should i ask the school to paint our room a darker shade of black or is this shade of black good enough” (because drama rooms are all black on the inside in case you’re confused dksjds)

weird stuff like that and he could always trust you to be as excited as him about this kinda stuff

soon your friendship extended to even outside of club activities

like one day you’re just walking through the school library trying to get a spot to study when you hear whisper screams directed at you

and you turn and see ong frantically gesturing at you to go to him

“are you good at history”

“uh... idk i guess”

“plS HELP!!! i have a test tmr and i know nothing”

so you end up tutoring him all afternoon and in return he tries to teach you math

you guys go out for ice cream later and challenge each other to who can eat theirs the fastest

you two are dying of brainfreeze and laughter by the end of it but it’s fun

in fact everything’s fun when it’s the two of you because as corny as it sounds you guys literally complete each other’s sentences

like he knows the punchline to your joke before you even finish it

so this means that soon enough you guys are doing everything together

 like a new movie comes out? you’re already thinking about when ong is free to go watch bc you know he’ll have the same reactions as you to the movie

ong is dying in a class and needs some rescue? you’re the one he calls to somehow get him out of it bc he knows you would support him skipping class 

tbh ong has a lot of commitments as the president of the drama club but he somehow always makes time for you

now and then you hear people talking about you like “isn’t y/n the person ong is always with nowadays?” but usually people don’t say bad things about you guys because remember everybody loves ong

soon enough, as how it always is when two people spend lots of time with each other and have great chemistry, people start suspecting that you two are together

like even your other best friends are like “y/n is there something you’re not telling us about this ong guy”

and it cracks you up bc wtf ong is a total BRO

but suddenly rumours start flying around school that you two are a thing and soon it grows from a speculation to like a thing.

you and ong being a thing is a thing now. people start assuming you’re together and sometimes they just treat you like a couple

you just ignore it but there’s this one time

your club is having a script reading for an upcoming show

(just an initial script reading with no fixed cast members yet)

the entire play is centred around a couple

ong gets assigned to read the parts of the male lead by the instructor bc lbr as a president he is one of the best actors there

then the instructor goes “hmm... for the female lead, perhaps... y/n?”

and you’re like wow ok well sure

ofc the script has you and ong say some romancey lovey dovey things to each other bc duh you’re acting as a couple

but after the whole reading is done the instructor goes “wow seongwoo and y/n you guys have good chemistry!” 

and cue the teasing from the rest of your club for the rest of the night

that day you guys go out for a club dinner and everyone else just spends the whole time teasing you two

before you could say anything one of them tells ong “dude if you guys are together you should just come clean and tell us!!!!” and everyone starts pressuring you two to just tell them that they’re right

in your mind you’re thinking why isn’t ong replying to them and you look at him

and he just looks at you and kinda laughs it off

without being outright and saying that you guys were just friends

and suddenly you have a weird feeling in your tummy and you’re thinking wtf why don’t i wanna tell them the truth either

why do u think u fool

but you, my friend, are someone who is very in touch with their emotions. you do none of this denying your feelings bs that others do

so from that moment of hesitation, you knew. 

and you admitted it to yourself right away that ong is more than just a friend to you

you didn’t know when or how it happened, but it had happened. 

but after that things got a little awkward for you because you didn’t know how to handle the rumours anymore

like once you accepted your feelings your crush on ong became a full fledged one and the fact that ong wasn’t denying the rumours either was making you feel skdjfksdjfs

spending time with him now also became more complicated because suddenly you were aware of everything he was doing and saying and there was this layer of tension to you guys 

not a bad type of tension though, and maybe only you could feel it, but it was making things less fun

and you being the fun lover you were hated that

one day you and ong had just ended a study session and were heading home

you two lived pretty close together so you walked the same route home

there’s a swingset at a playground in that neighbourhood and sometimes you two swing there on the way home

just for fun

so that day was no different

ong was like “hey you wanna go on the swings”

and you’re like yeah ofc and you two start swinging

the thing is, usually you two are super loud and excited like kids and you usually make bets on like who can swing higher or who can swing the longest standing up

but today you guys were just kinda swinging slowly and there was an unusual silence between you two

when you turned to look at ong he was already looking at you, but he seemed like he was deep in thought

and in that moment you decided to just woman up and clean up the mess

“ong, why don’t you ever straight up tell others the truth about us?”

and he just looks at you a little surprised

and you’re like “what?”

and after a few seconds he’s like “are you kidding me? you really don’t know?”

he looks lowkey offended and you’re super confused

(why are you so dense smh)

you just shake you head slowly and go “what are you talking about is there something i should know”

and he just kinda looks at you in disbelief for a second before looking down at his lap

“because i want them to be true”

he’s kinda mumbling and you’re not sure you heard right so you’re like “im sorry what”

your heart is beating super duper fast 

and he looks up at you with this expression on his face

“i know this is kind of a weird way to confess, i was going to do it some other way but i guess since you’re asking... i never refuted the rumours because i wanted them to be true”

and you’re like oh my lord wtf is this real

you: “oh... well... to be honest,, me too”

now it’s your turn to shyly look at your lap

shame you did that because now you missed the smile that blossomed on ong’s face hearing that

“so you’ll go out with me?”

and you can’t muster up any of your usual confidence at that moment just because of the look on ong’s face that’s full of adoration and hope

so you just shyly nod

and that was that. the rest is history

many years later you guys would fondly look back at the old rusty swingset at the tiny playground near your houses as the place where you two shared an awkward confession and a sweet first kiss

[promiscuous-jalapeno]

Forgive Me

[Jumin Han] [Jihyun Kim/V] [Saeran Choi] 

{Angst}

Word Count: 1,932 

ANON: Jumin and how he handles the loss of Jihyun imagine please! I wish Cheritz would have touched more on this. If you could include a Saeran and Jumin interaction in it that would also be great bc u know :) thank u so much daddio

A/N-I don’t normally title my one-shots but I did for this one. I had a tough time writing this piece. I put a lot into it and I hope that I conveyed the emotion over well enough. I feel this is, like the anon said, a subject that is not touched upon enough. I hope you enjoy reading it, and the emotion rings true~

     Jumin had decided in that moment that there were few things in this life more eerie than being in someones home after they’ve passed away. He’d never been one to reminisce or stew in sentimentality, even at the news of someone’s death. What was done is done, and only fools could find the time to waste thinking of what could have been or what once was. But for all of his efforts to repress those feelings that threatened to surface, the casual ways in which he waved off sympathetic looks and condolences from employees, the ability to sleep had escaped him entirely.

      In the early hours of the morning he found himself looking out over the city, wondering what it would be like to be any one of them out there, anyone but Jumin Han. But the worst part of it all was not the sadness, but the anger and hatred he held towards his best friend. The confusion, the bitterness and resentment for dying as he did and the feeling of being utterly alone, not even bothering to struggle against those tangled strings that wrapped around his neck and confined him.

     It was as if someone else inhabited his mind. He was watching from somewhere else, wondering who was pulling the strings of this depressing puppet show, this wasn’t him. This wasn’t his voice or his hands. And that evening, instead of going home this stranger was instructing driver Kim to make turns to that place he once swore he wouldn’t visit. These weren’t his feet, taking slow measure steps into the living room. And yet, there he stood, in the dim light of Jihyun’s apartment with the icy grip of regret squeezing his chest so tightly he thought he’d forget how to breathe. Yes, there were few things more eerie than this.

     He didn’t know how much time had passed until he finally found it in himself to turn on the lights and walk around. It was smaller and held a kind of warmth and comfort, so different from his penthouse. We truly were polar opposites until the end, he thought, thumbing through the bookshelf full of sheet music and poetry, famous photography compilations, art and humanities volumes so thick he couldn’t possibly imagine the contents. All these things. His family would arrive soon to decide what would become of the apartment and all of the things it held. Everything he saw felt like a piece of Jihyun, and in a way, he imagined this last look into the heart and mind of the man he’d known almost all his life as a final farewell to his dearest friend.

     The closet held several boxes of personal items. Yellowing and brittle music sheets, most likely ones he’d played with his parents as a child. A box of envelopes he almost tossed aside before he recognized his own name. With hands slightly shaking he got to his knees under the soft light above him and began to sift through them all.

     “Always the sentimental fool,” Jumin spoke. He was glad he was alone, his voice came out quite tremulous. He had forgotten all about them, and how after one night drinking at the penthouse, Jihyun had inquired about the notes he had written and wondered if he might keep them for himself, ‘for old times sake.’

‘Jumin, what is it like to get along so well with your father? I often wonder if that could happen for me someday…”

“…I think your photographs show true potential. It would be a waste of talent to pursue anything else, and I’d encourage you to continue despite what your parents say. I’m sorry it’s been so difficult for you lately…”

     He set the box aside, unable to bring himself to read another word. He felt this thunderous force erupting inside of himself. It whirled in his head and his skin grew hot, threatening to release itself any way it could. Jumin bent forward where he sat on the floor, one palm pressed so firmly to the ground it was as if he meant to push the earth away from himself. The free hand explored his face, mouth gaping slightly at the wet feeling on his cheeks. He had let himself go for a moment. Let his throaty sobs echo in the empty room. And then, as quickly as it had come on, he relaxed his shoulders with a sigh and sat up straight. Desperate to re-jar those bits of himself that spilled and scattered, he scrambled through more boxes until he found something else that could occupy his mind.

     Lots of photographs, Jumin was surprised to see some even featuring himself at various ages. His hair had been a bit shorter then, a boyish smile plastered on his face. It was strange to view himself like that. Some of the photos were more recent. Pieces he most likely felt weren’t worthy to be added to collections, and then, a familiar vineyard. Jumin held it in his hands, lost in the vibrant, trim rows of vines lining the vast rolling hills and the memory of that day. This picture was taken one of the last times he had seen Jihyun.

     He could feel his friend slipping away, but what occupied his mind the most were meetings and documents, business deals and trips. Until a meeting was cancelled, and they found themselves across the table from one another, sharing a bottle of exquisite Malbec while looking over the rolling hills kissed by golden sunlight. He always found vineyards to be very pleasing to the eyes. The way the rows lined the earth, like the stripes on a fine pressed suit, he loved that.

     “To be honest, I’m beginning to worry about her,” Jihyun set his glass down lightly on the hard wood table.

     “And your reasoning?” Jumin stopped eating, noticing the inflection and weight the conversation was gathering.

     “Small things,” he sunk into his chair, dragging his eyes across the horizon in an attempt to avoid the details. “I’m probably worrying too much. I want to support her, but…”

     He looked as if he wanted to say more, a flash of hesitancy and fear in his eyes before he lips pulled back into the familiar small smile. He looked so vacant…so distant. It was a lonely sort of sadness he usually felt in himself as he continued to stare in silence. An expression that would never leave his mind after that day. Jumin had wanted to press further. She had been saying some strange things recently, now that he thought about it. When she spoke, it was as if there were hints of another person inside of her. Something deep down in the shadows of her heart began surfacing in small moments. Instead, he listened to that voice in his head telling him that it was between them. They were in a relationship, and Jumin wanted to respect that. If Jihyun decided to speak, he would listen. But it didn’t feel right to force him for personal details.

     Jumin sat watching his friend, who sat watching the fields. Nothing but a few gentle breezes passed between the two. It carried the scent of dirt and trees, the rich aromas of the wine in front of him enticed him to take another large sip.

     “Rika has always been a person of strong will and conviction. She loves you. I’m sure in time, if help is needed she will make it known,” he broke the silence at last.

     Jihyun turned to him, nodding with a smile, the direct sunlight splashing across his face. “You’re probably right,” he looked up to the sky. “Say, the lighting is near perfect. Would it be alright for me to shoot for a while out there?”

     “I’d have to pinch you to be sure you were really Jihyun Kim if you didn’t ask,” Jumin smirked. “Follow me.”

     The two walked the grounds in silence for some time as the sun slowly began to tuck itself behind the hills. Jumin enjoyed seeing Jihyun so focused, watched as he framed the shots and adjusted the settings on his camera as they walked the rows.

     “What’s that up there?” Jihyun’s feet halted and he pointed to a post with a wooden box attached.

     “That’s an owl box,” Jumin said matter of factly, “a natural defense against the rodents that like to dig and gnaw the roots of the vines.”

     “Ah, I see. Still smart as ever,” Jihyun quipped.

     “I have to be to run the business. And besides, I could say the same for you,” he gestured to the camera.

     “If you’d just let me teach you,” he insisted.

     “Don’t start that again. I have no use for such things-“

     Their voices carried off into the distance, the conversation continuing on like usual. In the morning they parted, the topic of Rika never surfacing again.

     He felt sick with regret, sitting in the apartment clutching the photograph tightly. Why didn’t I press you? Where had that supportive friendship from his childhood gone. Lost away in obligations and business. Missed phone calls and unopened text messages. His stomach churned thinking of all the meetings and luncheons he sat through smiling while Jihyun was suffering alone, carrying the burden of it all. How many nights he sat with Elizabeth, enjoying wine before bed instead of calling him. He couldn’t stay in this space any longer. He stood up, tucking the photograph in his jacket pocket and grabbing the box of letters.

     A figure at the door stopped him in his tracks. How long had he been here? Shaggy red hair and a thin frame, Saeran stood looking just as terrible as Jumin felt inside. He had a darkness under his eyes, his hands wringing themselves with nervousness.

     “Saeyoung said you were here…he’s waiting downstairs but I just wanted…”

     Of course, Saeyoung had tracked me. He’d have to remember to talk to him about that later. But for now, he focused on the twin in front of him. Apparently he had been talking this whole time. Or rather, mumbling apologies and jumbled explanations between long pauses, like he was trying to find the right words though he must have been practicing what he wanted to say for days on end, like a mantra.

     “You’re not sleeping well, are you,” Jumin interrupted him. When the slow realization of what he had been asked, Saeran shook his head.

     Suddenly, Jumin felt the weight of the box in his hand. Hesitantly, he handed it over to Saeran. “If you really want to know what kind of person V was, you can look in that box. You aren’t sleeping anyway…at least it will give you something to do.”

     “Weren’t you taking-,” he cut himself off, “Is this really okay…?” his voice reminded Jumin of the mewling of a weak kitten.

     “If you still feel uncomfortable after reading, you can always give it back.”

     Jumin wanted to leave right then, having not much more to say that could comfort or heal a wound like that. He made he way past Saeran and opened the door, pausing just before he left.

     “You can stop apologizing and feeling guilty. There is nothing to be sorry for. After all, if you knew V...you’d know he never would have blamed you in the first place.”

     The door closed and Jumin made his way down the hall. His heart beat hard against his chest, his mind filled with the hope that one day he could believe those words applied to his own guilt and sorrow. That one day he might forgive himself.

│Ko-Fi│<--Like what you read? You can help support me °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Thank you for reading! 

[bangzchan]

au where isak and even both do fencing, even is a really popular one but lives in another city and isak hates him bc he thinks he isnt THAT great and then isak finds out even is coming to their club to show his talent off and help others if they need some advice, and isak is mad bc he’s the one helping ppl here so like?? its rude. and when even arrives, he does some moves and fights someone and isaks watching him with clenched jaws bc one, he is kind of great and two, he’s insanely attractive. so when they tell isak he should go up against even next, he’s trying to get away but then his eyes meet even’s and he raises his eyebrows at isak daring, and isak walks up to him biting the inside of his cheek. theyre, really fucking good against each other it goes on for a while but even wins and he thanks isak the game then winks, “theres some things you could learn more but youre awesome” and isak snorts and almost stabs his chest with the sword but then ppl go up to him so he has no chance. even holds his gaze as isak walks backwards ,right until he leaves the room. and to isaks dismay evens still there the next day when he goes to practice and he almost turns around and leaves bc shit, even has his hair down in a fluffy mess and he’s a little sweaty and his eyes are sparkling, his smile too brightening but he hears his name being yelled so he stops and ppl are looking from even to isak and evens smirking, “come on then” and isak fakes a smile, “no thank you” and ppl are begging isak to do it and isak snaps, “there are like 15 of you, get someone else to do it, im not playing against him” and even looks a little confused, “why not?” and isak sighs loud and long, “because! youre just..youre SO... you think youre the BEST” and someone whispers “u also think ure the best” and isak snaps his head to the side and there are a few giggles and coughs and evens smirk is back on his face, licking his lip while staring straight into isaks eyes, “lets see whos really the best” and with a scoff isak gives in and puts on his mask and walks over and its. more intense than the one the previous day and not only because isak takes it more seriously, to prove a point but there’s also a lot of,,, sexual tension between them, isak feels the air fill with electricity and theres a moment they both stop with their swords against each other and they just. stare and isak has to do something or else he’ll explode so he swings and he wins against a distracted even. then even pulls off his mask after isak, and holds out a hand for isak to grab and isak shakes it, evens grip tight, “i guess youre the best then” and isaks mouth drops slightly open and evens eyes flicker down to his lips then back up and isak forgets to breathe. then someone clears their thoat awkwardly and they let go of their hands. isak stays on the side for the rest of the practice and watches as even teaches some tricks to people and sometimes evens eyes find his and for the first few times isak averts his gaze and acts like he hasnt been staring but then he holds the eyecontact and even raises his eyebrows and puts a tongue against the inside of his cheek and isak cant help but stare at his lips and he stares until a knowing smile sits on them and even is turning his attention back to the other person. at the end of the practice isaks about to go with the others but even calls him back and isaks mind is going a mile a minute and stops in front of even waiting. then even turns to him, “your win was a little unfair” and isak frowns, “how so” then even smirks, “i was kinda distracted” then isak puts his weight on one foot, “not my problem” then even blows air out his nose, “actually it was bc i was distracted by you” and isak cant say anything just clenches his jaw again then even is putting his sword into the air so isak sees it then nods questioningly and isak shrugs. theyre playing and it ends up being well, different to what fencing is supposed to be like after a while and theyre just joking around and when isak stabs even, even falls to the floor dramatically, yelling in fake pain and isak rolls his eyes laughing, “that was awful” and even pops on his elbows offended, “excuse me, im fucking great, im a film major i know what im doin” and isak just stands above him, looking down at him still with a smile, “you should consider changing your major then” and even stabs him in the leg and isak copes evens dramatic fall and ends up next to him and theyre laughing and talk a bit before they face each other on the floor as their laughter is dying down and even sighs, “why did you hate me?” and isak shrugs, “dont know. you were just everywhere, it was annoying..i just. i guess i just wanted to have that too” he admits shyly and even looks at him understanding, doesnt make fun of him. “why did you change your mind?” then isak looks up to the ceiling in defeat, “seeing you fight in person made me realize you do deserve being everywhere. youre also kinda handsome so like.” he wiggles an eyebrow at even then even chuckles and bites his lip, and theyre just staring at each other then evens voice is low, “isak?” and isak hums then even swallows, “can i kiss you?” and isaks taken aback but nods softly and evens hand comes up to his face, caressing his cheek then he’s leaning in and slowly presses his lips against isaks and isaks hand grabs at evens arm, getting into the kiss more and they get lost in each other and its. nice. sweet. theyre interrupted by someone walking in to let them know they have to leave the building and they awkwardly get up and walk out then break out into a laugh and make their ways to the changing room to get rid of their gears and when theyre done and theyre outside, even looks at isak nervously then presses his own lips together, “wanna go for a coffee?” and isak agrees way too soon and he blushes, even trying to keep from smiling too hard and isak stares at the ground for a short minute before theyre walking off to the café walking too close, their arms brushing too many times and their laughter filling the streets

[al1studies]

question tag

hey!! i was tagged by @sakura-studyblr to answer these questions about myself <3 under the cut!

i’m tagging some new mutuals who i’d love to get to know, but of course you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! (and if you’ve done it already, send me the link!) @martiestudies @fsstudies @m1n4 @babypandii-studyblr @astrnomy

LAST:

1. Drink: decaf mocha frap

2. Phone call: o wow i don’t even know? probably my doctor. i don’t make a lot of phone calls

3. Text message: the soonseok net group chat

4. Song you listened to: aju nice by seventeen :’))) i was having a throwback party while i was driving lmao and that was the first song i ever listened to by them!

5. Time you cried: last monday or tuesday? i’d reached out to an old good friend of mine after we ended on questionable terms 4 years ago and she responded and i sobbed for 45 minutes sdjfsjd (and we’ve been talking every day since)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i’ve never dated but tbh i’d probably do this bc i’m a gemini

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i’ve never kissed someone! 0:

8. Been cheated on: soonseok cheat on me with each other every day

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: bitch i’m depressed all day every day

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. hmmm, light blue, millennial pink, and bright yellow!

13. o frick i did this wrong

14. ^

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: i fall in and out of love every single day at least once blame it on the cancer moon, gemini sun combo

17. Laughed until you cried: ya my dude

18. Found out someone was talking about you: not exactly but me and the captain of my mock trial team found out these members were talking shit abt how we were running things and the cap called them out y*kes

19. Met someone who changed you: of course!

20. Found out who your friends are: this is too deep, pls it’s 1:23 p.m.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t use fb anymore so idk

23. Do you have any pets: yes! i have a shih-tzu called cupcake and a cat called riesling and i love them with all my heart

24. Do you want to change your name: mmmm kind of, i love my name but sometimes it’s not gender neutral enough for me

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my best friends threw me a surprise party and we watched john tucker must die :’)

26. What time did you wake up: i woke up once at 7 then went back to sleep for another 3 hours

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was reading fanfiction i think???

28. Name something you can’t wait for: SEVENTEEN IN CHICAGO

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my birthday. listen i know that’s weird but listen, if The Mother would’ve just held it in for another 16 hours, i would share a birthday with KWON SOONYOUNG instead of donald trump.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing, cafe sounds around me i guess lol

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i live in The Rurals, of course i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: humans

34. Most visited websites: ao3, tumblr, twitter, google drive

35. Mole/s: ya

36. Mark/s: a ton! i’m freckled as frick, n i have this cute mark on the side of my wrist and one on my right boob l o l

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a vet for a long time but then it switched to writer

38. Hair color: dark, almost-black brown

39. Long or short hair: neither?? it’s like a little past my shoulders

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no comment

41. What do you like about yourself: im gay

42. Piercings: just the standard ear ones!

43. Blood type: i don’t know djfdjsfajd

44. Nickname: cam, cami, millie

45. Relationship status: in love with lee seokmin

46. Zodiac: gem sun, cancer moon, cancer rising, cancer dominant

47. Pronouns: they/she, i fluctuate b/w what i prefer a lot so they/them is probably safe but if we’re good friends you can use she/her!

48. Favorite TV show: stranger things, scream mtv, how to get away with murder

49. Tattoos: none but i might get one that says “As Hasari” (to heal) in victoria schwab’s handwriting on my wrist!

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: do wisdom teeth count

52. Hair dyed in different color: nope

53. Sport: i don’t play but i watch a lot of tennis. serena, venus, and muguruza are my queens

54. same

55. Vacation: philippines :( the motherland

56. Pair of trainers: i’m wearing adidas gazelles rn

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: a bagel with creme cheese

58. Drinking: coffee atm but i’d rather be drinking tea

59. I’m about to: get shit done at the bookstore café

61. Waiting for: my depression to take a frickin hike

62. Want: seventeen hitouch tickets

63. Get married: yes!!! one day, and this song will be my first dance

64. Career: i don’t really want to do just one thing! i’d like to be an editor for a publishing company at some point, but i’d also love to teach english abroad (asia, preferably PH bc i want to give back to my mother country) or work in google’s secret lab where i know they’re making that shit you only see in sci-fi movies

65. Hugs or kisses: both!!

66. Lips or eyes: sdjfasjdfjdfj lips tbh. i love a man/woman with nice lips

67. Shorter or taller: taller!

68. Older or younger: older just bc i’m 18 and would never date a minor or someone in high school lol

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: dksfsjdf i don’t really know but i love soft tummies and soft arms?? i’m not rly into super ripped/muscly guys (girls, on the other hand...)

71. Sensitive or loud: i mean u can be both

72. Hook up or relationship: i would say hook up but i know i would catch feelings so .. relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ehhh for a significant other?? not really either, i wouldn’t date someone who gets me into too much trouble but i also wouldn’t date someone who can’t live a little

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no!

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: lmao every day my dude

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: i probably would, but i haven’t

79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not??? djfjasdf

80. Had your heart broken: nope, i’m dead inside

81. Been arrested: no thank god, i’d probably have a nervous breakdown, not because of the police, but because my filipino mother would skin me alive

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: NO DHJFAHSDFHSHF

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i mean .. sometimes

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: ehhh no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: yea, that’s how you know whether or not to keep them (i’m mostly joking but also kind of not)

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: megan, emily, zoe

91. Eye color: brown, basically black

92. Favorite movie: inside out and crazy stupid love :(( i can’t decide !!

[coffeesforfuckers]

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Three

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 3: Three: I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He's Kind of Cute?

Dallon

I lay sprawled out across my bed, I don’t know why I can’t sleep but I’m just wired. Probably just too much coffee? I’m scrolling through my phone while Spencer, Jon and Ryan all slept.

My phone dings with a new message and I check the notification.

New message from: Retrieving…

I tap it and Kik opens.

I have one new message from someone by the name of BeeboBreadbin . What the fuck? I’m intrigued.

BeeboBreadbin: What’s your favorite animal and why?

Who the fuck is this dude? And is he okay?

Dal-Do: What is this? School??

Dal-Do: The flamingo cause it’s gay I guess?

This person has my full attention and I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

BeeboBreadbin: Wtf??? Is your user a fucking play on the word dildo??

BeeboBreadbin: Kinky

Dal-Do: I know I am thanks

Dal-Do: How’d you get my kik?

Dal-Do: I’m is confuse

BeeboBreadbin: Nice Engli dude

BeeboBreadbin: It was on tumblr and I’m bored

BeeboBreadbin: Or should I say

BeeboBreadbin: I’m is bored

Dal-Do: Fuk off

Dal-Do: You just want this dick

BeeboBreadbin: I’m not against it

BeeboBreadbin: WHat do you look like btw?

I contemplate showing this random guy that literally found my account on Tumblr, of all places, what I look like. I mean it couldn’t hurt really to just show him what I look like, but I mean... I don’t even know what I mean. I’m too tired to think.

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Sorry, I was really drunk in this pic but like thats the most recent I have of just myself and it’s too dark for a good one.

BeeboBreadbin: Def want that dick fmu

BeeboBreadbin: Like you’re hot as fuck help

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: Teach me ur wayz plz

BeeboBreadbin: *Cries*

Dal-Do: Wtf??? You’re so hot??? I’m??? Sobbing????

Dal-Do: Pls don’t show me ur god face anymore

Dal-Do: So sexi

Dal-Do: I met you like ten mins ago… I need to chill

Dal-Do: My gay just couldn’t help but slip out

BeeboBreadbin: Pls slip ur gay into my ass

BeeboBreadbin: I need help

BeeboBreadbin: Gonna go drink bleach brb

BeeboBreadbin: Gotta go drwon the cringe

BeeboBreadbin: Drown*

Dal-Do: My name’s Dallon btw

Dal-Do: I realized that rn my name is dildo and I don’t want ur hotness to think I’m a dildo

BeeboBreadbin: I’m Brendon

BeeboBreadbin: Not Brandon

BeeboBreadbin: Call me Brandon and I’ll fucking cut you

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: See

Dal-Do: Yes, I am so scared of a forehead with a knife, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: I’LL CUT YOU!

Dal-Do: Sure you will

Dal-Do: If anything you’ll want my gay inside u

BeeboBreadbin: You right

BeeboBreadbin: I’m always a slut for a walking dildo

Dal-Do: I’m always a slut for a walking forehead

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch.

Damnit, this kid is actually really funny and he’s pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself. Even with a forehead bigger than his shitty bowl-cut, he was pretty fucking cute. Shit, what was I even thinking? I just met this kid.

Patrick

I felt bad, I was basically using Pete but even for someone as sloppy as him, he was really a fun person to have as a fuck buddy. He was hot as hell, rough, kinky and there were no strings attached! Perfect.

I know it’s fucked up but I’m not out and I’m the biggest commitment phobe on the planet. Yes, I understand that I’m problematic.

For once, I’m the first one awake. It’s only about six in the morning but I was wide awake. Pete squirms in his sleep, mumbling something. He talked in his sleep a lot, most of it was just incoherent mumbles and others were clear, mostly him muttering something to his mother or a friend.

I’m on my phone, checking all my notifications and such, texting some friends and writing down some lyrics.

“Patrick.” I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to find Pete sound asleep in the nearby bed.

“Yeah?” I raise my brow.

“Lay with me.” He murmurs sleepily.

“Um, What?” I choke in utter shock, this was probably the most crazy thing he’d said.

“Please, baby?” I feel the same itch that runs through my body when I’m in a relationship and begin to get jittery, needing to get out.

“Uh, I-I’m… P-Pete? I’m- er, uh, not…” I stammer out anxiously.

His words come out incoherent now and I know I can’t keep doing this anymore…

Pete

I am falling madly in love with Patrick Stump.

This is so bad.

I knew that Patrick won’t ever love me he’s not like that. He tells me all the time, he’s not the ‘forever with you’ type, he’s the ‘hump and dump’ type. It baffles me.

He’s so careful with everybody and everything, not wanting to upset anyone and yet this little ball of happiness is the biggest fucking slut on the face of the earth.

Damn, I want to hate him.

But, who could hate Patrick Stump .

Alex

The room was dim, light seeping in through the old smashed windows and the cracks in the old chipped wood of the abandoned wooden cabin Some light also poured in through the cracks and holes in the ceiling. The cabin was old, rotten, gross and falling to pieces but it was ours . And that’s all that mattered.

Hs fingers run through my somewhat long hair, his forehead pushed firmly to mine, the tips of our noses brushing. Our legs were tangled around each other as we sat across from each other on the ground.

“Lex?” I can feel his warm breath caress my lips.

“Yes, boo?” I coo back softly.

“So, um… What…” He pauses, pulling his head back from mine, “What are we?”

“Alive.” I reply with a coy smile, leaning in to kiss him again but he moves back, detangling himself from me. He seems frustrated by my reply.

“You know what I mean, Alex.” He grumbles, using my full name.

“I don’t know? We’re just friends that are like… More than friends but… Less than lovers… You know?” I let out a shaky breath and an awkward frown.

“No, Alex.” He huffs, “I don’t know.” He stands and starts to pace, “We’re either dating or somebody's being used.”

“It’s not like that! I just don’t want labels and people like, knowing!  I like our secret , Jack. I love this .” I frown sadly.

“I don’t ‘ love this ’. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, love you, wherever and whenever I can. I want to scream my love from the rooftops because, I love you, Alex . You never say it back but I’m fucking madly in love with you and you know it, Alex.” Jack tosses his hands in the air, “I don’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore, Alexander.” I wince at him using my full-on first name.

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m not ready for that… I like how we already are…” My voice cracks with desperation.

“I’m not doing this anymore.” He shakes his head and I feel my heart start to sink, “I’m done… I want to be something that you're proud to call yours.”

I swallow hard, “Wha-... What are you trying to say, Jacky…?” I’m trembling.

“We’re done. This… Is done.” He looks me dead in the eyes as he shoots his words like daggers into me. I let out a sob and then I can’t stop, shaking violently and bawling my eyes out. Jack shakes his head at my tears, turning to leave.

“I love you, Jack!” The words I’d neglected to say for so long finally spilled from me, my voice leaking emotion that spilled over the room.

“Well, you’re too late.”

And he’s gone.

Dallon

I’d been talking with Brendon for about two, almost three, weeks but I already knew this kid was something special. All of my friends were extremely concerned with how attached to this random stranger I’ve become.

BeeboBreadbin: Dallon

BeeboBreadbin: Dal

BeeboBreadbin: Dal-Do

BeeboBreadbin: Yo!!! Dildo!!! Fucking reply damnit!!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: The forehead is gonna come stab ya ass

BeeboBreadbin: (With this dick!!!!)

Dal-Do: Pls do

BeeboBreadbin: Dildo! You’re back!!

Dal-Do: And gayer than ever!! ;)

BeeboBreadbin: Fuckin’ gayyy

Dal-Do: You know it

BeeboBreadbin: Wanna see my new room decoration?? (It not for indended use btw)

Dal-Do: Yus, send (n00ds) pls

BeeboBreadbin: Those come later

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: IS THAT A /GLASS/ FUCKING DILDO!!!???

BeeboBreadbin: Yee! (Not for anal use I swear)

BeeboBreadbin: I named it Dallon <3

Dal-Do: What an honor it is to be shoved up your ass, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: >:(

BeeboBreadbin: It’s decoration

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: On tha Pianooo

Dal-Do: Urielectric?

BeeboBreadbin: ???

BeeboBreadbin: O shit that thing

BeeboBreadbin: I do the musics and that’s what my studio (aka my friend’s basement) is called.

Dal-Do: You don’t live with your fam?

BeeboBreadbin: Nah, they kicked me out cause I’m a bi atheist

Dal-Do: A Gaytheist?

BeeboBreadbin: Y

BeeboBreadbin: E

BeeboBreadbin: S

Dal-Do: Relatable

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: WHaT ArE U doInG WIth uR LEg!?!?!!????!!!

Dal-Do: Are those leather pants!???!!!

Dal-Do: You fuckin’ SL00TE!!

Dal-Do: ANd ThoSE BOOtS??!!

Dal-Do: ARE YOU A FUCKING STRIPPER??!!!???!!

BeeboBreadbin: Only for u, boo ;)

Dal-Do: That’s gay

BeeboBreadbin: Yep, That’s me

Dal-Do: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch you cheating on me with Raven Simone

Dal-Do: We ain’t even dating tf?

BeeboBreadbin: Damnit

BeeboBreadbin: My Plot

BeeboBreadbin: FOILED!

BeeboBreadbin: *Sobbing*

Dal-Do: That was fucking lammmmeeeeee!

BeeboBreadbin: Just like you

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Gon fite u

BeeboBreadbin: Ooo!! Sweati and Sexi!!!

Dal-Do: Damn right hoe

Dal-Do: You better fucking enjoy that pic!!

Dal-Do: Everybody thinks I’m a psycho from running around first to get all sweaty and then taking fucking weird ass pics of myself while running.

BeeboBreadbin: That’s hawwttt!!!

BeeboBreadbin: I’d lick you, bro (Full Homo)

Dal-Do: Wtf??? Lmao, you’re fucked up

BeeboBreadbin: You rite

BeeboBreadbin: I is

BeeboBreadbin: Fuck I gtg, ttyl

Dal-Do: Awe ;,( come back soon

I frown and toss my phone to the side. May as well go see what everybody else is doing for once.

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous -

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Two - On the Rooftop with You

Next -

Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This