#IM DEAD INSIDE NOW
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Whatever you do, don't think about Buck returning to Hershey for the first time since he left when he was 21 while listening to 'the view between villages' by Noah Kahan
#im dead inside now#i will never emotionally recover from this#evan buckley#911 on abc#911 abc#bucktommy#Spotify
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anyway hows your day been
#im not complaining btw like godspeed to you freaks im just jelous#i will now proceed to tag the fandoms that inspired this post so feel free to hate me#bg3#baldur's gate 3#the walking dead#twd#literally opened the twd tag (my mistake)#and the first thing i saw was something about a daryl dick-son busting a nut deep inside y/n and i was like alright man ig#in front of my oatmeal???#doods
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People are fucked up, man.
I feel shattered *again*
A sign to give up I think. I'll never see them again and I gotta just deal.
#someone pretended to be them p much but the ages didnt match or the art style#and when i asked specific identifying questions they blocked me#hope you're happy asshole#im dead inside now#I knew they weren't my friend but i was so desperate i gave it a chance#im so upset.
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Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.
Don't do their work for them.
#red rambles#viva palestina#antizionism#i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites#i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine#as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel#and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT.#i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel#both from the inside and out#and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad#that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice'#if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it.#like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally#are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are#being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now#if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the#fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar#safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to#discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees?#i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.#there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue#and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.
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Been burnt too many times (has their favorite shows cancelled by netflix)
#no bc im watching dead boy detectives fully aware its cancelled but enjoying it nonetheless#bc this doesnt exist in a vacuum. people actually worked hard to make this wonderful show#and now im adding it to the list of cancelled netflix shows i like#along with#lockwood and co#im not okay with this#inside job#warrior nun#shadow and bone#anne with an e#one day at a time#first kill even tho i didnt really love it as much as the rest#dead boy detectives
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knight hob knight hob knight hob
#anyway IM BACK FROM THE DEAD...for now#ill be back in my grave soon no doubt#but for now i bring you knight hob#with some angst#..angst that leads nowhere cause i made those lines up#idk i like to think this is his breaking moment or something#like a whole 'dont ask me to be yours when you wont be mine' type of deal#love a feelings reveal#'surely you know by now...no no i refuse you would be that cruel'#'to ask that of me - to be. to be /yours/...gasp scream cry heave idk'#you get the gist right#'it would burn me up inside' and all that jazz#dont ask that of me because i want everything#ANYWAY#love me some knight hob#also sorry for being away :/#but#back to the art#KNIGHT HOB#dreamling#sandman#i would write more tags but im so late i need to go
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"even the most benign of them, are like a hurricane off the coast"
if you want to support me - and have a coin to spare! - you can donate here!! it will help me super-duper much!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
#so from the left top to the right bottom we have hereeee:#molag bal#namira#nocturnal#mephala#mehrunes dagon#azura#hircine#meridia#the elder scrolls#WELL#this one took A WHILE#+ we spend all week packaging and unpackaging boxes bc we moved to a new place and im *dead inside*#but i hope i'll be able to draw and post more regulary from now on!!#ೕ(•̀ㅂ•́ )
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The sudden and overwhelming urge I have to record tonight's episode and my reaction to it just in the off chance bisexual history is made tonight.
#911#911 abc#911 on abc#911 season 7#911 s7#911 7x04#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#911 buck#911 eddie#buddie#911 buddie#bi buck#bi buck 2024#bisexual#the way I have taken strides not to look at any articles or like a lot of tweets about the possibility of bi buck canon#and have trained myself to keep my expectations nonexistent#but I HAVE seen reactions from people who watched it early saying that this episode was insane#and now im nervous#my bisexual ass can't take this anticipation#either im gonna sob with joy#or im gonna be dead inside#either way though#oliver is gonna serve as always#oliver stark#ryan guzman
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hrhhrhrhhh jovier hghrhhh brokeback mountain au hhehjrhjjhgjhkejgdjnhknj its literally 5 am and i just finished these and i hate how they turned out but WHATEVER
i just cant stop thinking about these two and its making me sick!!!!!!!
#jovier#javier escuella#john marston#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#au stuff#will probably draw more for this but for now...#have this little thing jovier nation#my art#michsmeesh#idk this au is just. eating me up from inside#because its literally THEM#im gonna go cry myself to sleep now bye#and tmrw i'll draw more requests#well.#later i'll draw more requests
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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#dead inside#my art <3#im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dead inside#(reson: i need money)#anyways#i did this and now im gonna go a play some video essay of an hour or so while i do something else so i dont have a single thought in my min#my cat bit me#vat7k#varigo#tts#hugo vat7k#alchemy boyfriends#tts varian#varian and the seven kingdoms#varian#hugo the human#hugo rottewange#monsters au#vamp varian#vampire x wolf#wolf hugo#is somebody gonna match my freak#is somebody gonna match my nasty?
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mental health so bad you'd think i grew up in konoha
#no amount of therapy can fix me atp i need my gray matter completely rearranged#my therapist cant fix me but i can make him worse#call me kakashi the way im dead inside#maybe this is why i like naruto cz it hits close to psychward (home)#lmao ok ok done with the konoha jokes (for now)#i gotta go watch one piece this shit FIRE yall#naruto#naruto meme
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ok but a mortuary science degree. hmmm
#ppl were suggesting that in the notes of that earlier post and now im like. thinking#i wonder how many of the gen ed requirements for the art degree im working towards wld be compatible w that. im just thinking#im NOT saying this just cuz Im morbid Ive always had an iron stomach for insides and excelled at dissection in science classes and stuff#and its one of those jobs where the pay seems decent and it sounds like its reasonably easy to find openings#and caring for the dead is a way to help others and that appeals to me. idk#just thinking
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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my face when my mom walked into my room and im sorting all my pencils by color and type while watching spongebob conspiracy theories on youtube
#normal activities!#anyways ive sorted them into 7 categories so far#by brand and version. theres 4 different faber castell types#1 group by bic#1 my maped#and at least 2 unidentified brands#some of these i already had in 4th grade! that is so long ago !#im not gonna sort writing pencils into brands bc idc that much. i have lots of them tho#now to sort by color#also fucking spongebob??? theres a dead guy inside his tv
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his face is actually loads different but its closer to how it looks like. in my head so
#he's even more babyfaced now but the effect of him looking dead inside still stands. i love the mentally unwell peoples of the world mwah#ts4#ts4 edit#yeah im tagging it as that i put a lil effort into it okayy#sunny#p
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