#IM COOKING. JESSE. WE NEED TO COOK

[romulusfuckingroy]

breaking bad passes the gay man’s version of the bechdel test because

1. it has two gay male characters (gale boetticher, gustavo fring)

2. who talk to each other (flashback of gale setting up the superlab)

3. about a man (heisenberg)

[yungleanmichaelcera]

got bored during SAT prep session and drew a kawaii walter white! i think im cooked for the SAT

[kieranphobia]

⠀଼ ♰   .⠀⠀⠀rq for @boyenthusiast: can you do a trans jesse pinkman moodboard? and/or kuromi?⠀⠀⠀ ﮩ٨ـ ֺ ˖

[push-tet]

me: oh boy i want everyone to know about my original sim

also me realize that in order for people to be attracted to my orig.sim i need to make posts about my orig.sim, small sketches so that people have an idea of my oirg.sim

[walnutcookie]

made a design for rogueforts mom and ive had 5 people show some sign of attraction, 2 of which said theyd fuck her and two people said they could fix her SHES HOMPPBOC AND ABUSIVE PLEAS!!!!!!!!

[magicalshopping]

is the shuffle queue mechanic ass or is my queue ass

[breathinlove]

band!ellie 2 headcanons and smau

read this

sinopse: ellie williams is the lead singer in a band (+some texts with her).

cw: nsfw after the texts with warning! swearing, explicit, reader works in a record store and ellie's a simp, not explicit if reader is fem or masc.

part 1

band!ellie who made it unbelievable for dina and jesse to believe she found her girl, but then they met you.

“this shit's cringe as fuck, but you two are sweet…” jesse starts and dina immediately agrees. “yeah, she's perfect for you, el.” “i knowwwww, i need her.” jumping like a teenage girl fr...

band!ellie who sometimes thinks her bandmates like you way too much.

“invite y/n to the next rehearsal too for real.” jesse says after you leave a rehearsal you went to. “okay man i get it, she's amazing.” with an annoyed expression. “so… invite her.” dina chuckles. “no, i don't want any of you jumping on my girl.” but she does invite you anyway.

band!ellie who's so stupid tbh, she's gonna sign girls’ tits after concerts and act all oblivious when you swerve her kisses.

and swerving her is so fun istg, she's gonna try like 4 times before she's upset. UPSET! (she will go non verbal).

band!ellie who's the type to perform and glance at you like you're about to have sex right that instant (u will, after the concert tho!).

band!ellie who's a singer herself but turns on the tv and pretends to be the weeknd for you.

band!ellie who wishes she could rap… actually, no. she thinks she can.

"that was... something." you smirk and she scoffs, throwing herself on the couch she was standing on, mic in hand. "i'm literally in my rapper era but whatever, you'll see." and you're full on laughing. "don't laugh." and you come hug her and say she's so so special.

band!ellie who makes it so you can't open x (twitter) without seeing girls mourning your girlfriend… she's alive not single tho!

band!ellie who's always late for everything, but she tries her best istg. you and the band are TIREDDD.

band!ellie who's nervous about pda… but she likes it, showing everyone you're hers and she's yours.

band!ellie who made a slideshow about how you should move into her apartment… that was kinda like:

“REASONS FRRRR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯

ALL OF THEM 🤣

we're literally soulmates so we gotta be roommates too???

countless sleepovers omg i'm crying!

i'll never be late again (kinda😬)

we can get a pet tg 😯

i'll get to listen to u sing in the shower more and you know i like hearing you and singing with you while im in the toilet or even outside the bathroom

passionate lesbian sex before sleeping, after eating, doing the dishes, the laundry ALL THE TIME

i love you the most and i want you close all the time

you love me back (i hope) so you gotta want me close too

i want you as my wife asap

think about it, thanks and please my love ❤️”

you moved in… weak mf but can anyone blame you??

band!ellie who loves cooking with you for friends and family when they come over. just loves being with you in general but even house chores are better with you??

band!ellie who comes to disturb see you at your job, your bosses hate her and said they were gonna stop selling their album 😒 (they actually love her).

band!ellie who switches from your serious cool rockstar girlfriend to your silly baby girlfriend in a second.

band!ellie who reposts them and comments under edits fans make of you, even more than her own edits.

“that's my baby so stop gawking.(jk)” “whats her @” “id repost but my gf would be jealous, shes hot asf 🤤🤤” “THAT'S MY GIRL” “creamed💔” "straight to the y/n folder" someone said “ellie cant handle allat” and she replied fr “true, she the one handling me 💯💢” SHE HAS NO CHILL...

band!ellie who pays the same attention to potential hate you'd get, she will block them… don't talk about her girl.

nsfw (cw: cunnilingus [e and r!receiving], fingering [e and r!receiving]. switch!ellie!!!!).

band!ellie who treats you like a star

you were supposed to be in the shower but ellie saw you stripping out of your clothes and she has to ask to kiss your clit, dropping to her knees. her fingers bruising your thighs and shes eating you out as if she'd been starving. you cum but she's not satisfied yet, she pulls you down on the bedroom carpet with her "give me another one, please." hands roaming your skin ever so softly, sending shivers down your body. she asks what you want, the position, how many fingers, she just needs to please you. and now she's on top of you, pounding you with her fingers and pressing down your lower stomach because she just wants you to cum again.

band!ellie who loves sleepy sex

she's gonna be in bed with you, almost asleep asking you for kisses, then for some touches... and you end up between her legs, sloppy nasty head and some slow fingering. your lips around her clit and kissing her pussy lips and slit and your fingers in and out her pussy. she's whining and squealing, playing with her own tits and caressing ur face. you're humming against her pussy and she's clenches "let go for me, ellie..." you coo and she squirts on your mouth and fingers. soft pants leaving her lips, soon stopping with her caresses on your face as you lick her cum. you look up, hair messy against the pillow and eyes closed. "i love you..." she mutters after you clean her and lay next to her "i love you." you spoon her.

a/n: this is kinda shitty but it's for who asked for more! @kyleeservopoulos @sameenatruther @harrysslutsstuff

[satellitespinner]

MODERN ELLIE HEADCANNONS

modern!ellie who rides a beat up skateboard from when she was 15 everywhere. i mean everywhere your place, jesse’s, class. everywhere !

modern!ellie whose pen is never not in her hand, or deep denim pockets.

modern!ellie who tries to learn cool pen tricks while “finishing” her homework, but ends up hitting you with the pen..

modern!ellie who was your bestfriend before she was your girlfriend. you two were inseparable! (and irritating.)

modern!ellie who never fucking answers her texts.. it’s infuriating.

modern!ellie who sells weed on the side of working at a small café on campus. (she doesn’t like Starbucks) ((as she should))

modern!ellie who majors in astrophysics! that girl has been in love with space since she could talk. infact! her first word was planet!

modern!ellie who was unfortunately in the foster care system until she was adopted by the lovely man we all know as joel miller!!

modern!ellie whose username on all platforms is more likely to be something stupid than her actual name.

modern!ellie who refuses to turn on auto correct even though she so desperately needs it.

modern!ellie never cooks. ever! it’s either take-out or you forcing a homemade meal down her throat. (she doesn’t mind.)

modern!ellie who cuddles you like you’re married!

modern!ellie doesn’t play about her video game!!!! she will throw a tantrum!

modern!ellie’s playlist consists of hard rock, indie and atleast some rap.

modern!ellie who just shows up at your house?? at let’s herself in!!! the disrespect.. (you don’t care..)

imagine you come home from a long, stressed-filled day. juggling work and exam week AND the weight of being the baddest bitch on campus has really been weighing on you lately; causing you to (as she calls it) neglect ellie..

you walk in, shoulders slumped and release a heavy sigh as you drop your things down on the kitchen table when your bestfriend walks out of your bathroom like nothing.

“hello?” you say, your face morphing from scared to un-impressed as you realize the person in your home was not an intruder.

“hey babe” she says quietly as she walks over to you, slowly watching you as you put your things away.

“how many times have i told you. the extra key i gave you is for emergencies.” you lecture. not really caring as much as you led on to be.

“there was an emergency though!” she argues. you give her a look of scepticism. “and what would that be?” you roll your eyes.

“we haven’t hung out in three days! hello?! i’ve barely seen you since monday!” she whines.

“i’ve been busy, that’s all.”

“busy?”

“yeah.” you whisper, palming your eyes out of fatigue. she gives you a half smile as she realizes that you’re not in the mood for her god awful attitude.

“awh, ‘cmere” the next thing you know your letting yourself relax into ellie’s arms as she rubs your back and gently soothes the tension in your body.

“you wanna go lay down?” she looks down at you and asks. hee voice remaining in the same low whisper as before.

“yeah, please.” you say before she grabs your hand and pulls you into your bedroom. she insists on making you feel better at this point and who are you to stop her??

she opens your pajama drawer and pulls out a big baggy shirt and some shorts, “put these on.” she says as she walks around the bed to the night table, switching the lamp on and peeling back the blanket.

she somehow managed to keep her eyes to herself and when your done she carefully slides into bed next to you. “you comfy?” she asks.

“im good.” god you can already feel your eyes closing. ellie slowly pulls you into her arms and rubs small circles on your stomach as she lulls you into tranquility. eventually you both fall asleep; what seemed to be the weight of the world lifting of your shoulders.

for now.

modern!ellie who had a crusty white dog but it went missing and she never saw it again.

[deadkraker]

https://www.tumblr.com/deadkraker/767507442129158144/when-im-bored-i-like-to-make-shitty-edits-of?source=share

you see there awesome drawings right here? the one's that i've been very normal about? yeah, we need more of these

JESSE YOU NEED TO COOK 🗣🗣🗣🗣

YES MR. WHITE RIGHT AWAY!! 🫡

(Decided to switch it up and draw bee duo this time)

[skelebellie]

MIGUELITO

[miguel o’hara x reader drabbles]

[SFW]

warning: slightly saucy? not NSFW but miguel is down bad.

—————————

r/n: am i late to the party? technically, no. i saw atsv opening night and another time. but i’ve just been *hyperfixating* for soooo long that i just now got out of my hole. also, i survived summer semester and the scheduale of college classes is regulating me (i work hard but autism works harder).

anyways im feral for this man in a way concerning to feminism. but its less of a sexual thing and that fact that he is so me fr. anyways, enjoy. (i can’t fix him but i can fuck him)

—————————

miguel o’hara is not a lover into PDA. the last thing he wants is to have jess and peter b. breathing down his neck, teasing him about how hes getting ‘soft’. but in the quaint moments of the night or the rare moments the two of you are in his office together, he can’t help but touch you. a lingering brush against your arm turns incessant, craving the feeling of your soft flesh under his hand. if he could describe you, it would be “home”, and your skin is his hearth. more often than not, you find yourselves both working on separate things, only connected by the grasp miguel has on your hand.

that twink (affectionately) is the worst to sleep with. unconsciously, he wraps his whole body around you, encasing you into a koala-like grip with no room for wiggling. its the way his brain runs while he sleeps, subconsciously afraid that when he wakes up you will be gone. relishing the way your plush body feels against his skin like a cloud.

w/ latine!reader, you try making tamales with him. you wanted to bring some to a group dinner with jess, peter b., and ben. you for sure thought he would be good at it, but he keeps ripping the husks with his claws as he tries to hold it down, ending up in him getting frustrated. you relish him to the duty of watching over the fillings so that they don’t overcook. nonetheless, he sulks until he can get a bite of your cooking.

one more latine!reader, but you make him picadillo when he got sick once and he started sobbing into the soup.

i head cannon that miguel has a physical preference for someone with a little chub or muscle, just something his claws can dig into. so when you come to the training room to catch on some much needed strength training, he can’t look at you. the way your spandex shorts dig into your thighs, causing the fat to bend underneath them, haunts him for days. and dont even get him started when you move and your shorts roll up your thighs. (from a certified thunder thigh homie)

when he has late night missions or stays at HQ until the stars shine, he always feels bad for coming into your shared living quarters. but the alternative was getting yelled at by you for sleeping at HQ. so silently, he tries to sneak into bed and not wake you. but every time his heart blossoms when you roll over, calling for him. “hnng- miggy?” your voice comes out, cracking with exhaustion as you roll over, hand reaching out to search for your personal heater. “sí, mi vida, im right here.” miguel whispers, guiding your hand towards him as he gets under the covers. voice still soft as he tries not to completely wake you up the moment you find his body your scooting closer to him, wrapping your arms comfortably around his waist as you lean your head against his chest, the gentle thump of his heartbeat lulling you back to sleep. in moments like this, he wish he had his phone on him, adoring your sleeping face as his hands run through your scalp.

definitely one of those dads that are like “put that animal back from once it came, we are not keeping it” and then like two hours later you find miguel conked out on the couch with your new pet asleep on his chest.

loves taking photos of you, especially little polaroids. he likes having a reminder that your there, and that the moments between you two are ingrained in pictures.

you start copying his curses. one time you bumped into the corner of the table only to stutter out “hijo de chingada”, only to look up to miguel almost pissing himself with laughter.

miguel o’hara wears socks and slippers in his downtime dont @ me.

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3

♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.

♡ W/C: 6,919

♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand. 

“Totally -  my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said. 

“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily. 

“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm 

“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off 

“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently. 

He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night. 

“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining 

“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.  

“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit. 

“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge. 

Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe 

“Where do you need me?” He asked her 

“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl. 

“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom. 

“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips. 

“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day. 

“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost. 

“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles 

“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 

“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.

“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain. 

Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes. 

“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks. 

“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained. 

Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later. 

“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna. 

“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile. 

“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them. 

“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit 

“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can. 

“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked. 

Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next. 

“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged. 

“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained 

“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat. 

“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. 

“What happened?” She asked

“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory. 

“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously. 

“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’  then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained. 

Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan. 

“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock. 

She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her. 

Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?

She’d thought to herself. 

But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever- 

“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before. 

“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around. 

“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big 

“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!” 

“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks. 

“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer. 

Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said 

Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking. 

“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter. 

Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said. 

“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire. 

“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table. 

“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them. 

“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin. 

“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch. 

“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her. 

Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy. 

“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say. 

“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks. 

Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid. 

“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods. 

“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows. 

“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so. 

“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd. 

They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said 

“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on” 

Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm. 

Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply. 

“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath. 

“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over. 

“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna. 

She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag. 

Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off. 

“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint. 

Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store. 

“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently  

“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath. 

“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd. 

“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously 

“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her. 

“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly

“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes. 

“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.  

It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt. 

That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter. 

Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly. 

“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan. 

Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room. 

“Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile. 

“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots. 

“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand. 

“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open. 

“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds 

“To?” Syd asked. 

“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.

“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table. 

“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away. 

“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna 

“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink. 

“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps 

“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said. 

Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves. 

“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table. 

“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed. 

Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her 

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge. 

“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo. 

“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar. 

“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.

 “ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer. 

“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously. 

“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing. 

“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up. 

“she’s-“ Carmen starts

“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her. 

“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her 

Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years. 

“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse. 

“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them. 

Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts 

“What does that mean?” He asked her 

“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion 

“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused. 

“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t. 

“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked 

“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.

 “Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions. 

“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement 

“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs. 

Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop. 

“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip. 

The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate. 

“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head. 

“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart. 

“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat. 

“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off 

“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes. 

Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes. 

“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync. 

“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up. 

“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement. 

“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall. 

“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.

Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well. 

“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard 

“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip. 

“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled 

“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow. 

He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room. 

“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna 

“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder. 

“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars. 

He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone. 

“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off. 

Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly. 

“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. 

“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over. 

“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach. 

“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near. 

“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves. 

“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly. 

Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question. 

Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“

Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly. 

Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear. 

“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day” 

“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned. 

The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.  

He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here. 

“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started 

“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly 

“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit. 

“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.

“I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his. 

They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said 

“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily. 

“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit. 

“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again. 

“Why do you think?” He asked quietly. 

“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper. 

“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft. 

“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked 

“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit. 

“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“ 

She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin. 

The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times. 

He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin. 

The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond. 

Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.  “T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 4: Practice

————————————————————————

(y/n's pov)

"you sure you gonna be okay to stand on sideline alone?" - joe

"yup i'll be fine, i'll be entertained watching the practice." - you

"okay, imma head inside now" - joe

"okay, see ya in a bit" - you

joe turned around and i watched him walk towards the locker room entrance. we had been standing by his parked car in the players garage as he gave me directions on how to get to the practice fields from here.

as i made my way over, my thoughts were all over the place. last night was; something. joe broke up with his girlfriend and practically cuddled with me the whole night. not to mention us holding hands for a little bit before that. i still don't know what that meant, or what either of us were trying to do. it just felt right in the moment and i think we both respected that enough to not bring it up.

this morning a woke up alone on the couch, the smell of bacon wafting through the air. when i leaned up and was able to see the kitchen i was met with the sight of joe cooking breakfast. we told each other good morning before enjoying breakfast together; our friendship slowly going back to what it once was as we cracked jokes and brought up silly memories.

it was really great to have joe back.

my thoughts calmed down a little bit when the team started walking out. at first i thought i was going crazy when i thought i saw a familiar face but when he got closer and i could see his face better i realized i wasn't going crazy.

ja'marr chase?

since when did he play for the bengals?! the last time i saw that crazy kid was in Louisiana.

but. ja'marr wasn't the only person i noticed.. the extremely attractive number 85 walking next to him caught my eye. definitely looking him up on the roster later, i thought.

i was completely zoned out watching #85 walking past when the fans erupted into cheers. i moved my gaze to the gate when my eyes fell on joe, that's when i realized my previous thoughts were wrong and needed to stop. can't go after your best friends teammates y/n! the little voice in the back of my head told me.

when joe made his way onto the field and the team was given their assignments for the first little bit of practice, i found myself getting a little bored.

my mom had texted me to ask how things went with joe last night so i was texting her back when i felt a tap on my shoulder.

when i turned around there were two girls with smiles on the faces.

"sorry if i startled you.. but we saw you standing over here and thought you looked a little lonely. i'm jess, sam hubbard girlfriend!" - jess stuck her hand out and you shook it

"oh hi! i was kind of getting a little bored." - you laugh slightly

"im gracie, evan mcpherson's fiancé." - gracie shook your hand

"it's lovely to meet you guys! i'm y/n." - you smiled

"ohhhhh" - gracie and jess had a moment of realization in sync

"huh?" - you nervously laughed

"when you said your name we realized who you were." - gracie

"may i ask how?"

"joe talks about you all the time to sam. i've overheard their call." - jess smiled

"oh? i'm actually here with joe, we're childhood best friends." - you

"mhm, because childhood best friends look at each other like that." - gracie

"what do you mean." - you shook your head

"joes staring at you right now." - jess

"oh my lord, we don't like each other like that. we're just friends." - you

"okay then, wanna come over and sit with us?"

- gracie

"sure!" - you

"now you can spend the rest of practice trying to convince us you don't like joe more than a friend." - gracie grinned

a few minutes later we were sitting in a secluded area, other partners of players were there as well but gracie and jess were sitting a little farther away.

"so how'd you and joe become friends?" - gracie

"oh well our moms were best friends since they were in middle school. well when they got older they bought houses next to each other and planned to have kids at the same time. joe was born december 10 and i was born december 19, so we really have grown up best friends. we even went to ohio state together, and when he transferred to lsu i did too. it wasn't until we graduated and he was drafted to cincinnati and i stayed in louisiana that we were separated." - you

"that's so sweet, a cute story to tell your kids one day." - jess nodded with a smile on her face

"girlllll, i just see him as a friend." - you

"so you've never felt a little more for him?"

- gracie

"well.. i've only told my mom this, but i trust you guys enough to tell y'all. when we went to ohio state together, i started thinking he was cute.. which developed into a crush that lasted until we graduated from lsu." - you

"i knew it!" - gracie

"you guys would be so cute together!" - jess

"thanks but my crush on him ended a long time ago." - you

"you say that.. but i saw the way your eyes lit up when he walked out." - jess smiled

"that's just because i'm proud of him. besides he broke up with his girlfriend last night, he doesn't need anything right now." - you

"wait he broke up with lexie?!" - gracie

"yup, you guys were trynna set us up and didn't know he was even single?" - you laughed

"oh girl we hated her. she was so rude and didn't even attempt to cover up the fact she was using joe." - jess

"really. you could ask any of the girls or the players. ja'marr, tee, and sam constantly tried to get joe to break up with her." - gracie

"i know sam and ja'marr from college but which ones tee?" - you looked at the players on the field

"number 85, he's a wide receiver." - jess

"ohhh" - you smiled, a blush forming on your cheeks

"what's that reaction for? you like tee? he's single you know." - gracie

"wouldn't necessarily say like.. i saw him walking with ja'marr and thought he was cute." - you shrugged

"awww, he's a big sweetheart. i'm sure we could set you guys up." - jess

"i appreciate it.. but i don't want to do that to joe. i feel like dating his teammate would be awkward, you know?" - you

".. because you like him!" - gracie

"oh my gosh, guys chill!" - you laughed

"all jokes aside, whatever you and joe are or end up being we really hope you're around more."

- jess

"yeah, you're really sweet and have a great personality. it's great to see joe bring a girl around that i'd be happy to hang out with."

- gracie

"i don't think i'll be going anywhere anytime soon.." - you smile as your eyes land on joe on the field, gracie and jess smiling to themselves as they watch you look at joe

*time skip - after practice in the locker room*

(joes pov)

i was getting dressed since i had just gotten out of the shower when i overheard a couple of the guys talking.

"did y'all see that girl with joe? sheeesh" - joe mixon

"bro she was gorgeous. i don't know what's going on between her and joe, but if they ain't together i needa ask her to get some dinner or somethin."

- tee higgins

"yo for sure, she was beautiful" - tyler boyd

"that's y/n, joe's best friend since birth. i'm sure nothings going on between them that's not platonic." - ja'marr chase

"thank god, imma try to talk to her before higgins." - joe mixon

"sorry mix, but y/n was with jess and gracie the whole time and jess texted me saying that y/n had called tee cute." - sam hubbard

"oooooo now which of my pickup lines should i use?" - tee smirked as he rubbed his hands together

i walked out from around the corner over to my locker before interrupting their conversation.

"none of em" - joe

"yo sorry, is she your girl? what happened to lexie?" - tee

"not my girl, my best like ja'marr said. none of you guys are going to be flirting with her anytime soon, understood?" - joe

everyone stayed silent and looked at the ground, not saying anything.

"understood?!" - joe raised his voice a few levels

the guys all mumbled a "yes", "yes sir", "understood"

"i'm outta here" - joe grabbed his bag from his locker and left

as i was walking out of the locker room i only got more pissed off as i heard the guys continue their conversation about y/n.

when i got to the garage and saw y/n standing next to my car, for a second all the jealousy left and the only thing that mattered was her.

"hey joe!" - you smiled

"hey" - joe smiled back

the guys were right, she did look beautiful today. she was wearing biker shorts and one of my bengals shirts; she didn't have one to wear so i let her borrow one of mine.

"you practiced really well, i can barely tell you had a season ending knee injury" - you pulled him into a little hug before getting into the car

"thanks" - joe got in the car and started driving

when it fell silent my thoughts from earlier came back and i gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.

(y/n's pov)

"you okay?" - you noticed joes body language

"yeh" - joe

"you're lying" - you

"it's stupid.." - joe

"somethings clearly bothering you joey, i want you to tell me what's got you so upset." - you

"okay fine. i'm upset because you caught the eye of quite a few of the guys and they kept talking about you in the locker room." - joe

"oh who?" - you

"tyler boyd, joe mixon, a couple others" - joe made sure to leave tee's name out

"oh really, that's kinda funny." - you laughed slightly

"yes so funny that my teammates have a crush on you." - joe

but i wish it was you.

_________________________________

authors note: i love writing this book sm. it was hard for me to complete my last one due to the fact i had been writing it for over a year and it became a huge part of me.. but i love this new storyline. guys buckle up this is gonna be a lot!

hope you enjoyed ❤️

[couldtransitionsaveher]

JIMMY MCGILL/SAUL GOODMAN from BREAKING BAD/BETTER CALL SAUL

JUSTIFICATIONS:

"jesse we need to go to los PRONOUNS HORMONES to cook ESTROGEN for saul GOODWOMAN!!!" - Anonymous

"breaking bad if it was woke: jesse we need to go to LOS PRONOUNS HORMONES to make ESTROGEN for saul GOODWOMAN !!!!

^ except im being so fr. i think if she knew she was a woman she would still be living in lesbian slippin jimmy bliss with kim, like, none of that other stuff wouldve happened." - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

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[istherewifiinhell]

grand finale baby okay. (what do u mean their are 80-300 more of these...)

[ID: Optimus looking up to a hole in the ceiling, a beam of light filtering through, rubble around him. He says "That was Megatron's way of letting us know he has come!" END]

badum tssk 🥁🔔

its marvel tf no 4! or 7-8 in uk reckoning, winter of 84, the cartoon is now on air!

okay lets hear it- Writer: Jim Salicrup, Pencils: Frank Springer, Inks: Ian Akin & Brain Garvey, Letters: John Workman Colour: Nelson Yomtov, Editor: Bob Buduansky, EiC: Jim Shooter Digital Re-master by Digikore Studios Limited. Collection Edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon. Editorial notes and assistance by Mark. W. Bellomo

it wouldnt be some 80s comics without some pain so lets get hurting

[ID: Caption box: Meanwhile, at a ballet class attended by Buster's girlfriend Jesse… A gratuitous panel of four presumably teen girls in sleeveless leotards looking out the window. Jesse asks "What is it?" One answers "Looks like the Rolands are leaving town! They've packed everything --including the kitchen sink!" Close of three looking out the window, mild expressions of shock on their ingenue faces. The speaker continues "I really can't believe anyone would take this robot business seriously!" Jesse cries a single tear thinking "There's no escape from this Madness!" In the dance locker rooms, Jesse stands in elegant contrapposto of distress thinking "I thought coming here would take my mind off Buster--fora little while, at least. But knowing that he's risking his life to save his father is eating me up inside! Guess I was only fooling myself! I can't stop wondering if I'll ever see Buster again!" Caption Box: While back at the ark… Buster kneels over his father, fingers to his pulse. Optimus, looming in the fore asks "Is your father still functioning?" Buster pleads up at him "My father's not a machine! He's flesh and blood! And if we don't get him to a hospital fast--he'll die!" Ratchet in the back says "Perhaps I can help!" END]

sorry thats as long and as hateful as i ever intend to be here. boy i hate comics tho...

this episode of transformers is brought to you by: jarring cuts!

[ID: A military jeep driving, a human voice inside it says "I'd give anything to get a little sleep, but if you and this truck aren't delivered to the 4067th M.A.S.H unit in time, my goose'll be cooked! This is all your fault, old friend! If you weren't such a hotshot mechanic they wouldn't need you to repair their ambulances.' END]

[anime girl image] MASH REFERENCE 🎊🎉🥳 (yes sparkplug will be having war flashbacks the whole comic. technically. theres a point to it)

[ID: Two EMT's get into the front seats of Ratchet in alt mode. Passenger: This is the only ambulance available, and we need it. Ratchet: What? Driver: Did you hear that squeak? Passenger: We'll get it fixed after we bring back that heart attack victim! As they drive off Ratchet thinks: These men seem to mean well! I'll just keep quiet and help them! After all, it's the least I can do as a doctor-- even if an earthling is my patient--and it's better than waiting! END]

oh by the way ratchet is just parked outside the hospital cause he drove sparky there. what a nice fella. also im not showing any of it but actually the AUTOBOTS are the ones that hurt him... like. accidentally but they werent being.. VERY NICE either. bad vibes all around.

[ID: Various dinosaurs in a cretaceous vista. A character narrates. "In a volcano-ringed valley, inhabited by weird, alien creatures, some even larger than ourselves. The drone found its answer…" A single transformer walks fully over one of the dinosaurs in the clearing. The speaker continues "The cybertronic life form was none other than the Decepticon known as Shockwave!" Editors note: "Long-time marvel readers will recognize this place as the savage land, prehistoric domain of the present-day Ka-zar!" END]

(sees 5 specific kinds of dinosaurs) OH BOY OH BOY. shut the fuck up marvel editor. THATS DINOBOT ISLAND where my friends the DINOBOTS live. jeez... also shockwave bigfooting it up, as tfs are wont to do.

anyway get ready for the meg.op comedy hour

[ID: Ironhide shouting: What are we waiting for? Let's get him! Optimus: No! That's exactly what he wants!-- so he can pick us off easily! Let him come to us! END]

[ID: Caption box: One after another, the Decepticons enter Mount St. Hilary, pushing the attack… Megatron stands in the left fore, his troops in the mid, and Optimus high on distant hill on the right. He calls out: I'm coming for you, Optimus. Our war is nearly ended! He thinks: Too many of my men stand between me and Optimus! My fusion cannon would destroy them as well! Bah! A small price to pay to rid myself of my constant foe forever! END]

normal thinks to say and think megs. wow

[ID: Optimus large in fore, looking same direction the camera is focused. He and the other Autobots shaded in dark purple and black. The Decepticons, in full colour, seekers flying above, and the rest charging down the middle, all firing weapons. Megatron yells "Prepare to be DESTROYED!!!" END]

HEY. THATS NOT HALF BAD. a panel with dynamic composition and values that direct the eye??? I CANT BELIEVE IT. also i just noticed. lets all thank soundwave's head being obscured in this panel. THEY LEFT IN A PURPLEWAVE!!!! he endures... seek him out where the remaster dare not go.

[ID: Megatron firing his fusion canon, shouting "You're mine, Optimus!" Optimus yells in pain, his arm melting, and his gun dropping to the ground. END]

as im always saying...

anyway yeah the autobots win in the end cause sparkplug sabotaged the fuel he made for them, JUST LIKE HE DID WHEN HE WAS A POW IN THE KOREAN WAR... jesus. comic of people who like. have heard how drama is supposed to work, without perhaps. really getting why it works. at least it looked nice...

fucking hell. anyway and then shockwave shows up and tramples the autobots. THE END

[ID: Printed comic. Caption Box: --Into Shockwave! Shockwave stands in full view, light emanating behind him, rubble, and injured Autobot's at his feet. He speaks "After four million earth years I have accomplished my mission-- The Autobots are no more!" END]

(dont he look great in printed purples. mwah)

[giganonyx]

TBB SEASON 3 SPOILERS

HEADS UP- I WILL BE TAGGING EACH OF MY EPISODE REVIEW THINGS WITH “tbb s3 spoilers”, AND OTHER SPOILER TAGS, PLEASE BLOCK THESE TAGS SO U DONT GET SPOILED!!!

AHHHHH OMEGA MY BABY. She has a pony tail stoppp my child is all grown up I will cry. Ok but she ate the new hairstyle she is slaying.

ERGH SHE HAS BEEN THERE 150 DAYS. Sick and twisted. She contrasts SO heavily with the whole sterile, orderly environment, it’s literally heartbreaking to watch. Forced into this mindless routine, her hopeful attitude constantly being beaten down on?? HURTING. GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.

GOD seeing Crosshair look so broken BROKE ME. His shaking hands??? They took away the ONE thing he still had- his superior sniping skills, his steady hand. They took that AWAY from him. FUCKED UP. THEY TORE HIM DOWN. I can’t I’m so sad.

DADDY’S HOMEEEJWJWISNWIANQOQOQB (Hunter was on screen for the first time this season) (He is SO FINE)(MY HUSBAND HAS RETURNED FROM HIS HIATUS IN A TRAUMATIZED STATE BUT NONETHELESS HAS RETURNED TO GRACE MY SCREEN AND BE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)

I had a horrible sense of dread overtake my body when he said something like “our mission isn’t over yet”… like idk I felt so ILL. PAIN. WHY do I have the feeling my man isn’t going to make it SHUT UP.

ALSO HIM MAKING RECKLESS DECISIONS???? The kidnapping of his daughter and the death of his brother have done a NUMBER on this man.

WRECKER my cutie patootie!! Yk it’s bad when Wrecker starts to become a voice of reason (which, Hunter in his desperate mindset, promptly ignores 😭)

HAHBANQKNSJQQKO CROSSHAIR IS SO FUNNY DURING HIS ESCAPE WITH OMEGA- literal snark fest

Need Omega bullying a mouse droid on repeat.

Stop mouse droid bullying 😭

OOOO NALA SE’S WARNING TO OMEGA TO LEAVE?? I’m scared. And Omega ate it up tho. She said “say less lmao I’m gone ✌️”.

Did palpy not feel a disturbance into the force. Was bro so into the “project Necromancer deets” he couldn’t tell his vessel was peacing out. Common Palpy L.

RUN OMEGA TAKE YOUR SARCASTIC BROTHER WITH U

JUST A GIRL AND HER DOG AND HER GRUMPY BROTHER EHEHEHEHE

OUGAHHH OK OK IM BOUNCING AROUND EPISODES HERE BUT STAY WITH ME

WHEN CROSSHAIR SAID “forget the hound, Omega.”, it lowkey felt like he was talking about himself. He was telling her to forget him, he was a broken animal, with no point in nurturing back to health. She needs to give up on him if she wants to move forward. BUT SHE DIDNT BECAUSE MAMA DIDNT RAISE NO UNLOYAL LOSER. NO. OMEGA IS THE REALEST ONEEEEE.

EMERIE you confuse me. I hate u yet am intrigued by u. Looking forward to her character development ahhhh.

HUNTER MY POOKIE BEAR BACK TO HIM BC that man was doing FLIPS chopping off the eldritch horror vines. They snatched his brother and he said “hell naw hoe let go of my BRO” and just. Went to town. Me when Hunter exists 🎉🎉🎉🎉

OH OU OH IHHIWHAIANQO ALSO THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE GREEN TACTICAL ARMOR?? IS THE ONE DOING THE “TORTURE” OR WHATEVER TO CROSSHAIR AND THAT GROUP OF CLONES??? If that’s really tech I’m gonna scream. You’re telling me he’s torturing his own brother. Tech would never even THINK about doing shit like that the man just wants to read nerdy newspapers. Desecration of the nerd lifestyle. OK I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM. LIKE I REALLY DO. OOO PLEASE I WILL CRY. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW THIS MYSTERY CLONE. NO NEED. IT HAS TO BE BROWN EYES (delusion).

OK I AM SO TIRED MY HEAD HURTS MY LIFE IS CHANGING Jesse we need to cook (I need to make tbb art) BUT I AM GOING TO BED FIRST

[perlapulido]

Fired Up

Summary: Lexi has been know around Hell as another employee with a temper when shes pushed over the edge. Just wait until she meets the King of Wrath. (This is my first time posting my fan fiction here.)

Ch1

Bang. A demon girl jumped from her bedroom being kicked opened by a jester cartwheeling over. "Fizz. We talk about this!" Said the girl covering her face with a pillow. "Too bad i wasnt listening. Come on. We got a shit ton of work to do." Said Fizz ripping the blanket off her. He then slapped her on the butt making her get out of bed to chase him to the kitchen. "Woah. Hold it Pinky." Said a voice. The girl wearing jist a large oversize shirt and her underwear was now placed on the counter glaring at Fizz who laid on the large demons shoulder sticking his tongue out. "What did you do?" Said the demon looking at him with his two other heads. "I was doing my job and wouldnt kill you to put a bra on." Said Fizz looking at the demon girl. "Your boyfriend sleeps naked and neither of you dont like tits. Unless it was a dude." Said the girl. She hoped off walking to the fridge to make them all breakfast as Fizz read the list to the demon. "Are we out of can of whip cream again, Oz." Said the girl. "Seems like it. We know my Fizzy is, Lexi." Said Oz. "Two cans on my shopping list." Said Lexi making the batter. She turned the stove on while Oz got his coffee prepared. After a few minutes Lexi served Oz and Fizz their plate of crepes including herself with the left over. Lexi walked to her room with her plate to get ready for her day with the boys. She grabbed her phone and whatever she needed for work heading out seeing Fizz and Oz dressed and ready. They got down the hall with the employees moving out of their way to the elevator. Getting into the limo heading to the club that Oz owned by the name Ozzie's short for Asmodius. The King of Lust. Lexi has been with him and Fizz also known as Fizzarolli for his performance in the circus and his Robot copies. She works at the club as the cook with a bit of bartending when Wally isnt showing up. Lexi got out after Fizz and Oz going inside the club nod her head at the bouncer Jesse. She was friends with the employees whenever Oz and Fizz are off somewhere work related or going on a date.

Nobody in Hell knows about their relationship as Ozzie is a powerful overlord with her and Fizz are just an imp and a sinner. Yeah. Lexi is a sinner for purposely killing her boyfriend by a house explosion. She had nothing to live for since her life was shit with her crazy boyfriend throwing actual acid to her face drawing the line. So fuck it. Once she got to Hell exploring the place with no where to go when Fizzarolli found her and introduced her to Ozzie. That was about fives years go and cant say anything bad about regretting doing what she did. Ozzie and Fizz love having her around like a sister and protecting her from any trouble even though she handle herself but they still try to keep her safe from anything serious. "Alright. If you need me. Im going to my office with Pinky." Said Ozzie. "Get it, Boss." Said Fizz leaving them to somewhere. Lexi and Ozzie went to the office upstairs showing the whole ground view of the club. "Any messages?" Said Ozzie sitting down. "Always but most werent that important. Shitface wants to see Fizz. Again. Pleasure Paradise wants testing on your new product by this week." Said Lexi. "Do you want me to deal with Shitface?" She asked. "I wish but he owns Fizzy. Mammon is not someone to piss off especially an overlord." Said Ozzie. "I can write an excuse with some letters capitalized to insult him if he isnt that stupid to figure it out." Said Lexi. "Tempting but we know it'll make Fizzy mad." Said Ozzie as Lexi whined. "But hes a major asshole." Said Lexi. "Fuck him. Send word to the factory that I'll get to the testing." Said Ozzie. Lexi nodded sitting on his desk pulling out her laptop typing away sending it. She and Ozzie talked business for some time when Fizz came in. "Im heading out for lunch." Said Lexi heading out. She walked through the back going down to her usual spot at a simple cafe where her bestie was waiting. "Vee, how nice of you to show up?" Said Lexi sitting down. "Yeah. Yeah. I know but its not easy being me." Said the pink demon with blonde hair. "Doing someone, concerts, and partying. I get it Verosika." Said Lexi.

"Fizzarolli broke into your room again didnt he." Said Verosika. "He didnt break my door. More like my lock." Said Lexi as the server handed her usual. A normal BLT with iced dragon fruit. "I'll get it fixed up like i did before. Whats new?" She asked before taking a bite. "I got a party to host and i thought you could make your food." Said Verosika. "Drunk or not." Said Lexi. "Both. We got some who are sobering. Well?" Said Verosika. "Ask my big brother." Said Lexi referring to Ozzie. "I will. Also youre going to clubbing with me. Its not a question." Said Verosika. "Meaning going to get dolled up for a date?" Said Lexi tilting her head. "Come on look at you. Ive never seen or heard about you being with someone." Said Verosika. "I dont want to get hurt. Why else part of my body and face look like this?" Said Lexo gesturing her light baby pink scars. "Wich i got Tex. Hes a great bodyguard." Said Verosika. "Im going out on a blind date. Im not that desperate." Said Lexi. "You are fucking killing me!" Said Verosika. "You really wanna start shit with me!" Said Lexi raising her voice. "Stopping a bitch and go out with me and the girls!" Said Verosika. "Do you not remember what happened time you stupid bitch?!" Said Lexi. "Yeah. That asshole shouldnt have torn your top at the dance floor but you did have set of boobs. No. Im sorry. Lexi!" Said Verosika hugging her to pull her back to their table for trying to leave. "You already told the girls and Tex im going." Said Lexi. "Yes. Come on. We miss you. Its been weeks." Said Verosika in whining voice. "Fine but if shit goes down. Thats all on you." Said Lexi. "Yay. I love you." Said Verosika kissing her cheek. "Ozzie. Can we steal Lexi?" Said Verosika after hitting speed dial. "Im being forced!" Lexi yelled as she sat down finishing her lunch. "Youre off amd after your done. We are shopping." Said Verosika looking her. "Yeah no shit." Said Lexi. She drank her beverage while looking her phone checking her emails. 'Trial Meeting.' An email read clicking it. Lexi read through it and send it to Ozzie knowing it was for him. She has been curious about what goes on but she was below the Overloads to be in one unless a law was broken. Meeting the other Overlords besides Ozzie, Beelzebub, and Mammon would be interesting. "Oh. We have to go get to our Spa appointment. You seriously need it." Said Verosika grabbing her wrist dragging her to her car. "You're lucky we are best friends and i love you otherwise i punch in the face." Said Lexi looking at her. "Beauty is pain. Everyone knows that." Said Verosika before speeding off.