#IF I NEED TO STIM MORE I AM GOING TO STIM MORE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

themindelectricdemo4 · 1 year ago

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ITS REALLY FUNNY TO BELIEVE ANYTHING I DO IS TO IMPRESS ANYONE BECAUSE IT ONLY ANNOYS PEOPLE & I KNEW THAT GOING IN BECAUSE I PREFER BEING HAPPIER BEING MYSELF THAN PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT

#]]INDIG0DISK #]]FLINT #QUEUE #10/03/23 #STIMMING OBNOXIOUS #OUTFIT MISPLACED DRAWS ATTENTION UNCONVENTIONAL & STRANGE #MOST OF ARE QUIRKS ARE OUT OF PLACE & SOME ALTERS TYPE INCOMPREHENSIBLY WHICH MAKES COMMUNICATION DIFFICULT #PHYSICALLY DISABLED I TRY TO AVOID STAIRS I HAVE TO GO LONG WAYS IF MY FRIEND WANTS TO TALK & WALK I SAY IM NOT USING THE STAIRS BUT THEYRE #FREE TO IF THEYD LIKE #GOING BY NEOPRONOUNS IN REAL LIFE FUNDAMENTALLY ADDS A TARGET TO MY BACK & CAN CONFUSE PEOPLE #BUT I DO IT ALL ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS NOT SOMETHING GENUINELY HARMFUL TO OTHERS & IT HELPS ME OR IS AN EXPRESSION OF MY TRUE SELF #MY OUTFIT CAN BE ANNOYING SOMETIMES BECAUSE I DONT ALWAYS HAVE THE SPOONS TO DRESS BUT IT MAKES ME HAPPY SO I DO IT OFTEN ANYWAYS #BUT IF IM IN TOO MUCH PAIN I DONT BECAUSE I AM NOT HERE TO IMPRESS ANYONE #IF ITS HIGH PAIN DAY I AM GOING TO WEAR A COMFORTABLE OUTFIT #IF I NEED TO STIM MORE I AM GOING TO STIM MORE #I AM GOING TO GO BY XE/XEM BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY PRONOUNS #WHY WOULD I BE ANY OF THIS WILLINGLY #I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM BUT WHY WOULD I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT #I WISH I HAD AS MUCH ENERGY AS PEOPLE THINK I DO #NO IM IN PAIN ALL THE TIME & USUALLY HAVE ENOUGH SPOONS TO SCRAPE BY THE DAY

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thousandyearphantombunker · 3 months ago

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"just give them an aac device!"

"just teach them sign language"

"body language and facial expressions alone are good enough for communicating what you need"

Nonononono f*!k off. Stop acting like nonverbal people have easy solutions to their lack of verbality. Not everyone can use an aac device- some people struggle with spelling or can't spell at all, some people have motor skills issues that makes typing a nightmare that takes a long time, some can't articulate themselves without outside help. Learning sign is hard if you again have motor skills issues or struggle to make facial expressions that convey what your feeling (flat affect applies to more than just a person's voice- some people really struggle to make facial expressions and have stilted or strange body language- you people can understand why autistic people get burnt out from masking all day- you know often having to control their body language and make certain facial expressions etc yet you can't understand why nonverbal autistics can't just learn sign- a language very heavy on facial expressions and expressive body language?) also again spelling and motor skill issues are a pain and also a lot of families with deaf or nonverbal children refuse to learn sign for said children and I'm sorry in day to day life I haven't met many people who speak sign- yeah you can move to a community with a lot of deaf or nonverbal people that use sign but that's not always possible and its very limiting. And do I even have to explain the third one- autistic body language is confusing to neurotypicals and I hate the stereotype that its just so blunt and obvious/better than neurotypical communication- maybe that's what its like for you and your 'smart sheldon cooper/Wednesday Addams' style autism but not every autistic person 'says exactly what they mean' often times autistic people struggle with semantics and articulating sentences that make any sense! and all these misunderstandings surrounding stimming are annoying to!- spinning can be a 'happy' stim but it can also mean your overwhelmed or understimulated, a lot of people with autism have voices that lack inflections, mix that in with being unable to use words and no it does not help communicate their needs- f!*k off with acting like its easy not all autistic people who are nonverbal can spell, not all autistic people w are nonverbal have good motor skills and body language alone is never enough to convey a persons needs. Before anyone comes after me yes Sign is body language but its also actual symbols and can convey full thoughts and ideas and sentences and also body language is hard for a lot of autistic people to convey like stated above.

Not every form autistic communication is being 'logical' and unoffended because 'we're just more logical than those superfluous, shallow neurotypicals that let their feelings control them and are never direct about what they want-we value facts and logic unlike those butthurt neurotypicals' and being overly blunt- no a lot of autistic people find that communication is messy and the ways they can communicate are ineffective and your 'logical, facts dont care about your feelings' style of communication isn't as amazing as you think it is. Stop speaking over nonverbal autistics- their is no real perfect solution to them not being able to speak. And I'm gonna say it- while not all nonverbal people are low functioning or high support needs or whatever the new term is-being nonverbal is a massive disadvantage and having your disability be visible like that is scary in many situations and being unable to communicate your needs can make it impossible to meet your needs-

#ableism #nonverbal #autism spectrum disorder #autism #asd #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autism is a disability #autism issues #I'm verbal but as a child I wasn't and I am so happy that I can speak now because damn the shit people who need to use alternative-#Communication go through is fucking ridiculous #accessibility #Isn't always as accessible as you think #Part of the reason I don't interact with other autistic people is because of shitty attitudes like this #We need to stop acting like autistic communication is logical and blunt all the time a lot of the time we don't make any sense #Out ways (and I mean ways cuz there are multiple types of autistic communication) aren't inherently superior your just assholes #Even as a verbal person unless I've really studied a person communicating with them in a way that makes any lick of sense to anyone is hard #It's not just brutal honesty! Stringing together sentences is hard. Also brutal honesty isn't the cool strength you think it is #language processing #Is hard for people #Autism communication isn't just brutal honesty and being 'rational' its dangerous stims and poorly strung sentences and so many other thing #Also when someone is hurt by your brutal honesty they aren't always being overly sensitive and 'illogical'#Sometimes your being a bitch and the person you where being 'blunt with' has every right to be mad at your tactless #And again there's more to autistic communication than being 'a pure logical being's #Idk where this idea we're all super logical and superior comes from #I might come off as emotionless and dry to a lot of people but like my emotional regulation is shit #I am not logical and a lot of other autistic people aren't logical

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ghostinthewoods1102 · 10 days ago

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I'm foaming at the mouth/pos

Just randomly excited. I couldn't even truly explain it if I tried.

Also fun fact: my moots are awesome and deserve all the love/p

Anyway y'all are awesome :D

#yippie #stimming #moots are awesome #am happy #yay!#my turn to ramble #mystery ghost is going rogue #i need to interact with more blogs :3

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mosstrades · 16 days ago

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played thru slay the princess again with the pristine cut update. many thoughts. extremely many thoughts.

#i had a very confused understanding of this game on first go through - extremely affecting but #very confused and messied by my interpretations and assumptions #after 10 hours of poking around i have a much more solid (if still nascent) understanding of what this #game is doing and #holy god and shit and also fuck this is such excellent art #i finished it tonight again and had ro just get up and stim around the room for a while to try and #evacuate the overwhelming excitement of seeing such a well constructed beautifully presented tightly written #complex creative profound varied cohesive unique curious compassionate fun GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD fucking game #i need go eat my computer #some of the stuff here made me have visceral and extremely interesting reactions i now need to sit with #this is the sort of game that lives in you for ever #thank you. thank you #this is the shit i am alive for #slay the princess #mine

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jackies-ear · 5 months ago

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Had 2 rough therapy sessions back to back…

Sometimes group after individual is fine. But then when I’m already kinda raw and group gets super heavy and I just. I really wish I could have them on separate days again, but individual can only meet our current time, during dance time, or during Saturday Pilates time… and I’m not giving up dance or Pilates.. so I have an hour between sessions at least but still.

#I was hardcore stimming and stuttering all through group #still am tbh #and I need to go to bed #but now I’m like all worked up #group then individual would be better maybe? but group ends so late so #they asked my response to something and I got through maybe half a sentence and then just could not get words together #which was enough of a response in itself #but I still kinda feel bad that I didn’t have more to say?

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sherlock-is-ace · 6 months ago

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#not having a great time today after my mom commented on my interests #i'm a person that is interested in shit i don't know this is why i'm very likely to follow disabled youtubers #in my time i have watched molly burke. multiplicityandme and a collection of autistic youtubers (guess why lol)#and my mom made a quite patronizing comment about how i ''take on causes'' by learning about stuff #and/or supporting fun and interesting youtube channels #but anyways it sucks even more because on her comment she made it clear (once again) that she doesn't believe me when i say #i might be autistic. and it fucking sucks!#because when i first talked to her about it even I didn't know much about it. i was just starting to do my research #and i was trying to make sense of things still but she dismissed it #but now that i do know more and things do make more sense #i can't even bring it up because the fact that i have been watching a lot of youtubers talk about autism will make her think #i'm just trying to be like them... which is stupid #but it's also the reason i didn't tell her that my best friend in my teens was trans. because i was trying to figure shit out myself #and telling her he was trans and then a bit later that i am as well was going to make her go ''everyone's trans now blah blah''#and dismiss that as well... but now i'm trapped in the same thing about autism lol #and her stupid loophole of a dismissal isn't just by saying ''no you're not autistic'' it's saying this like ''well MAAAAYBE you COULD be #but that doesn't mean anything and it doesn't matter and why would you want a diagnosis if it's not gonna change anything''#same thing as her whole ''sure you're a man but why do you have to look and act differently? YOU know who YOU are #who cares what others think?'' in a don't transition way #like that's so stupid!#dkfjhkdfhkdfg #i'm angry and i feel trapped #i have figured out a little bit ago that i don't stim near as enough as i need to BECAUSE i live in the same house as her #and the idea of ear defenders and other stuff like that is very appealing but i can't do that while she's around to judge #and IN PUBLIC?! that's unthinkable!!#i still remember the time she threatened with not going out with me (to the supermarket) because I commited the huge crime of #buttoning the top button of my button up shirt....#that's it. that was the whole reason.. she thought i looked ridiculous and she didn't want to be seen with me...#imagine if i wear ear defenders out...#not gonna risk it lol

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lesbiacnh · 10 months ago

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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.

#text #the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still 🫨🫨🫨 mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything #it always starts bc im like ‘i need to take better care of myself’ and then ends badly. lol #tiktok ‘everything shower’ joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one #night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine #rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol #im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine #AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long #tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense #like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe i’ll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing #something else #SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again #ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it #ok last thing bc this is funny #phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to school…….#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im not‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ it’s fine‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i am not gonna #ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth #sabotage this.

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theclosetedskeleton · 1 year ago

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WHOLESOME POSTING STARTS NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

#you dont get how much i wanna explode right now #/VVVVPOS #i dont wanna go rest because i need to feel this joy and whimsy #hmmmm!!!!!!!!!! i really wonder who is the cause of this !!!!!!!#you guys will never guess (camera pans to my qpp)#!!!!!!!!!!!#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH <3333333/GEN/QP #EVERYTHING. about my qpp is PERFECT #“but--” your argument is instantly rejected. Why? because its WRONG!!!! MY QPP IS SO AMAZING AND PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND AND #THE LOVELIEST PERSON ALIVE IS MY QPP???? HOWWW <333 #HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY #i feel like that one person trapped and then my qpp is just that one mercy angel image DO YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABT #LIKE THERES 8 BILLION PEOPLE OUT THERE. ME???#I couldnt ask for anyone better #because NOBODY is better than my qpp <33333 #I have never wanted to shake and smile and grin and bounce off the walls because of someone before meeting it i guess thats saying a lot #guys i literally STIMMED thinking abt my qpp <3333 #jarvis show me how i can give all of my love and more to this lovely person #its 12am and instead of sleeping or studying for a test i have in 8 hours I am filled to the brim with sappiness #no WONDER music artists write about love all the time <333 #/qp #/gen #closet rambles again on tumblr #<333333

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago

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man i don't even wanna get into it that much but i gotta say this week has been TOO MUCH. AGH. but we're cool(er) now it's just been Non Stop Choice Making And Task Doing

#like ive been coping well all things considered #nothing bad just a FUCKING LOT. yknow #first week of classes + not living on campus + not able to drive -> figuring out bus routes + campus #at the same time #then a couple days in they take me off the dorm waitlist and i now have like 2 days to buy and move ALL my dorm shit #yesterday i left a bunch of essential shit in the dorm bc i thought i'd be coming back that night #and i have so much homework somehow #plus we've been having foster-turtle related issues #and i got broken up with but that was actually pretty good tbh needed to happen was very mutual etc #i wasnt able to work on hw bc my laptop died and the charger was at the dorm... and my contacts... and my phone charger... etc #and my guitar but thats more an emotional/stim thing. i missed her :(#whartever. i am unpacked and chilling by myself in my room #kinda nervous to meet my roommate. i wasnt yesterday when i thought i was gonna but now um. i am #it's probably fine it's just new #plus i didnt wanna roommate bc i need a sensory deprivation chamber and all but whatevs. i think I'll be okay? yeah 👍#and there was a thing inthe middle of the week where one of my classes was empty when i got there???#i had to go on a wild goose chase to get there at all but thats a whole other story #and and and and and. just a lotta stuff all the time yknow #but i am here. hooray #and my classes and professors have all been good so far!! im participating a lot more than i did in high school #like. a LOT. like the most in every class im in #which is crazy bc im shyyyy nooooo im so shyyyyy stoppppp etc #but like. i have Thoughts and Relevant Knowledge #and all of them have been easy to pay attention to/understand except my old lady lit teacher #but shes cool and also that class didnt go as planned anyway + i was BEAT so it might not be her fault #we'll see ig #nervous about my online bio + lab classes though. scaryyyy wahhhhh #also i had to figure out payments for a whole bunch a shit. and textbook weirdness. and parking permits. and and and #WHAT. EVER. we're fine it's ok #i can lie down now and just. be

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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years ago

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I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).

#diary #personal #on another note entirely that i didnt want to put it in the main thing. i feel so. different from what ppl know me as sometimes #like. i may talk to you. and you may think you know me. but do you really? ive been thinking. if ppl met me would they even like me?#like. when i have meltdowns or sensory overload or just need time to chill n stim. or just lay down n nap #like. idk if others could tollerate that of me. if i met someone irl and arent heavily masking my personality you can tell im strange #fuck. just today i spent like 5-10 mins just. tapping on my collarbones hard bc it feels nice feeling ur bones vibrate #idk. like. honeslty i cant even put it into words and speaking itself is so ineffective tbh.#it just really sucks tho. cuz i mask so much of myself so much of the time. i mask the pain. i mask my happiness.#heck i even mask everything inbetween.#honestly i sorta just dont believe anyone would like me if i acted how i want to. like. i am very autistic natually. VERY AUTISTIC #i just hide all of that for everyones comfort and it makes things activly less enjoyable for me.#idk. i just. want to go out. cling to someone i care about and make them guide me. wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere #i rly just want to never go anywhere loud or crowded (even tho i like trying new food n things).#i want to jump up and down when im happy. run when i feel. scream if i want. cry if i need.#id like it if someone saw me meltdown or shutdown they wouldnt freak out.#id like to be able to mess up things in social situations and it wouldnt matter. i just wouldnt worry about if id still have a friend.#id like to be able to be heard when i say no i cant have/do that. i really wish that was the case even now.#i. really have just become so much more autistic the more ive focused on myself. my needs and my feelings .#like. today my dad wanted to order something that *admittedly* is the exact same thing i was gonna order.#HOWEVER THERE IS ONE KEY DIFFERENCE. IT IS NOT WHAT I PICKED OUT. so what if its different from what i want????#i cant have that!! so i panicked a lot. and he repeatedly ignored me when i said no i dont want x food.#eventually mom stepped in and made it so i got what i wanted.#yknow? existing hurts so much. just all of the time too. i keep on coming back lately to the same thought.#over and over and over again on repeat. just. idk. its hard to explain.#i keep on thinking how itd be better if i was like replaced with someone else. if someone else was born instead of me.#like. im utterly useless. but maybe if only x sperm was born instead of me they wouldnt be like me. idk.#maybe then everyone would be happy. maybe then theyd be able to work and make my parents and everyone else happy.#theyd be able to fit in. they could lead a much better life than me. i wish i wasnt so utterly useless.#i just want a long break. its exhausting living and im not rly cut out for it. too bad i wont get one anytime soon. god i hate this.

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lionblaze03-2 · 2 years ago

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Because it also just doesn’t matter. Like yeah it’s probably genetics but. What does it matter, because people deserve to have kids if they want them even if they are autistic and also autism isn’t like a fucking death sentence it’s just another way for our brain to work. If you have enough care to deserve to be a parent then you’ll learn to adjust for your autistic kids needs and that has NOTHING to do with genetics.

We don’t need to know what “causes” autism. That mindset always leads to eugenics. And I’m serious.

#I don’t think. I’d want to live without my autism #yknow?#sometimes I cry and scream that I wish I was normal but without it Idk who I’d be. My autism is me. It’s what makes me love so passionately #What makes me care about things enough to dedicate all my time to them #what makes me have my extremely specific and mentally visual animatic ideas. It’s like watching and acting out a little movie in my brain #And without these little things. What would I have yknow. Who would I be. Who am I without my fixations and passions #So we don’t need to find out what causes autism or how to stop it. What we NEED to do #Is adjust the rest of the world to be more accommodating. Like my local zoo hands out bags with noise cancelling headphones and some stim-#-Toys for autistic or nuerodivergent people who may need them #And has designated ‘quiet zones’ and stuff #And dear god almighty if EVERYWHERE just did those few things. Hell even just set up quiet zones #DRASTIC improvement #There literally is not a quiet spot at my job. I cannot calm down from sensory overload because everywhere I go there’s more sounds and #smells and lights and it sucks!! Give me a nice dim quiet room or vague area in every store and I’ll be happy

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none-tadashi-left-hiro · 2 months ago

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oh it’s possible I am experiencing dissociation