#IDK HOW THEY SURVIVED BUT. COOL AS FUCK
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This show is rotating in my mind eternally it's just so good and like everything I love about scifi.
#scavengers reign#scavengers reign sam#ursula tho#i will write a whole post about her soon#you know the characters are good when i cant pick a favorite#like azi????#amazing#levi???? (crying) also amazing#kamen is a soggy noodle of a man and yet still fascinating#and of course sam is the emotional support cool guy which is why hes always fucking getting stabbed or some shit#im intruiged but inherently untrustful of the new crew#i feel like they are here to show how not to survive on the planet#idk tho#we shall see
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I guess they did! I didn’t know they had a name!
I don’t know if Igneous showed you .or not but there were some pretty fish that swam by the ship last , night and he caught one if you’d want t’ see
-Alphonze
HOLY SHIT THE SOCHI'LUM SURVIVED THE HOLE IN THE SEA?????
#idk how they survived but. cool as fuck#<- I don’t know either. they glow so I’m surprised they haven’t caught more attention#I’m glad they did though :]#on the ship#Ooc: cheese loom….
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so i read the blueycapsules comics
idk how i feel about it yet but the michael design gives me gender envy lmao
#fuck reese ? though#idk how to spell it#but do not support the creators#read it via the google drive#it was.#an experience.#honestly volume one was making me want to tear my eyes out it was really overstimualting#so much was happening#by like nearing the end of vol 1 though it started cooling down mostly and i could survive without blinding myself#like no offense#but it was really bad for me sensory wise#blueycapsules#michael afton#i guess
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So uhh
How's everyone holding up?
#Taliesin Jaffe you mad lad your character almost die but again Asley didn't wanted the shard#IDK what better options were but Christ#...Also callowmoore kiss got me out of my chair but now I wonder how Ashton and Fearne's relationship has changed because of what happened#I don't think Fearne has ever been this angry at someone...#or at least shown that much anger before#but hey! they survived and got a cool molten arm! and two primordial shards in their body#Oh god and FUCKING DELILAH#Laudna wanting Imogen to promise her to move on if she die#and trusting her if she becomes Delilah's puppet I-#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#imogen temult#laudna#imodna#callowmoore#critical role campaign 3#cr3#cr3 spoilers#cr3 77#cr3 77 spoilers#bells hells#critical role spoilers#critical role
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Ark: Survival Ascended (1? More some day?)
And last but not least, we have Ark! All of these are from The Center, the first one from the day it came out on ASA, I'm pretty sure. Couldn't tell you about the other ones, though? I think they're from the same day...
hehe. daylight to sunset to midnight. also that last one is modded; it's draconis glaucus. admittedly i mostly just run around and do whatever in creative so i don't know how good they are normally, but i think they're neat and i like them so. they're here. hehe
Bonus lighting thing they added that wasn't in Evolved because I think it's really cool looking:
#i hate you ark but also#youre pretty cool lookin#maaaan like i know the pyromane is stupid and shouldn't exist because wtf ark and is basically just a reskinned shadowmane but like.#damn.#why do you look so cool.#i dont have the addon because fuck you wildcard but still#there are so many people who don't like how it looks because yeah it is kind of just a fire shadowmane but STILLL arghhgagh#whatever. anyways#at least ascended look nice#usually#whatever. maybe ill get the addon some day and eat my words. who knows#HEY PEOPLE WHO READ THIS FAR#this is a horizon blog normally of course so. have you ever noticed how similar ark lore is to horizon lore?#because if you take a look it actually is strangely similar lol#i want to make. like. a crossover. horizon characters get sent to the arks. wouldn't that be fun#idk i think it would be fun#but i also have a horizon/camp cretaceous crossover so#so what? idk. it#words#yep#bye lol#congrats on reading this far. i think lmfao#OK BYE#oh yeah i need actual tags as well#ark survival ascended#ark survival ascended photo mode#ark asa#ark asa photo mode#photo mode#i have run out of tag room bye
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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sorry u know it's late when i start adding commentary to other ppl's linguistics posts
#there was another bitchier version of this post that didn't survive but know in my heart that i was bitchier about it.#croidhe#idk man just something about the way non-easians will always go 'oh you're enforcing stereotypes about how RIGID and HIERARCHICAL asians r'#like ok fine dragon's daughter whatever that is a stereotype that white ppl love to roll around in but on the other hand#is that such a bad thing? ofc there are issues w the system i'm hardly the last person to talk about how fucked#korea is like. in every societal and political and economic way possible but#AMERICANS just LOVE to go oooohhh it must suck SO BAD to be REQUIRED to respect your ELDERS oooo that must be AWFUL#like idk man. i actually think that the discrete different levels of formality in korean are really cool#oh you think it's tedious to learn? you think it's pointless and stupid? and a relic from a bygone age?#cool. cool. cool. cool. cool. of course. of course you do.
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fuck it, unedited snippet from an early early post-ph scene i decided to write one night
#uhhh. how do i tag this#post-ph#yeahhhhh#this is meant to be a bit after bellum runs into link and linebeck (mostly linebeck) and theyre just. talkin#like a day after running jnto each other so theyre just figuring things out with the shared theme of how tf are ypu alive#i like linebecks response it feels very. 19 years old idk. hes not like. entirely chill during this hes tired and wary#hes just got a lil more humor in thsi bit. writing this to try out how i might want to do bellum’s dialogue#and get his perspective on linebeck’s survival and just have a literal dialogue about that topic specifically#and also figure out some other ideas like linebeck waiting to actually tell link whi bellum is and whatnot#i think i like the idea of bellum having a slighrly childish side with the ‘youre the weird one’ line#some kinda balance between him using more complex phrases and ideas in his speech while also talking casually and roughly#and having little indignant childish moments usually in response to something or to demean someone#tbfh mostly posting this bc i wanted to work on it. cuz ive been reading scps and in my enjoyment of it as a cool fiction collection site#forgot that its like. horror. and fucked up some times. and its been a while since i delved into this kinda stuff and forgot my own limits#yknow how it is. prolly gonna play fire emblem or maybe smash bros havent touched that in a while#specifically smash 4 3ds havent played it in a while most been playing ultimate. i have 6 smash mains or w/e. characters i like#sheik ganondorf lucario greninja cloud corrin. used to do lucina but shes a bit too standard swordfighter to be fun for me so now corrin#anyways this is a decent snippet ig. its a lil funny and kinda gives an idea of the convo without giving too much away#not aure if i want rhem to more or less figure out why linebeck survived in this first interaction. tbh its not too hard i think#since bellum does some deductive reasoning comparing jt to past experiences and is like ah. maybe ill save it#maybe he gets conveniently cut off while theyre figuring it out. tbh it works wirh wanting to have link join in somewhat
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Genuinely so impressed that she took 69% of this book to get to what the plot is. Like truly a new record for her!!!
#twist rambles#vc posting#like. the discussion of ok louis wants to see claudias ghost. and you go wow ok cool that sounds interesting. and then she spends like 16#chapters out of a 25 chapter book to show the most unrelated and creepy shit she can. and i am a LITTLE sick of it personally. i didnt need#half of the stuff that was like ok ^-^ heres an old as fuck man being predatory. i need him to die‼️#anyways thank god im close to being done. the bitching WILL increase while i read b&g next. we will persist ok#like normally she takes a bit to get to the plot bc she LOVES to exposition dump but this felt like memnoch levels of plot putting off shit#which that was like. first and last 100 pages were relevant and the middle 250 were not. this feels worse somehow. idk how ill survive#the next book given well... 700 pages 😰
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So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.
#ra speaks#personal#watched the most recent quintin reviews vid which like yeah I went in with expectations of the content#and it’s not like I actively avoid stuff that depicts/discusses abuse I’ve been going to therapy long enough to know my most sensitive#triggers and stuff. but…idk something abt when he got to the drake bell section just set me off something fierce.#I’m all nerves and stress and self loathing/misplaced guilt from my own past bullshit#like brain can we please cool it we’ve been over this for years why you freaking the fuck out now? (I mean. logically. I know why#and how trauma works and that I’m just having emotional flashbacks but still. ugh.)#brain please be real niceys to me I have a meeting in an hour we cannot be having a panic attack.#you’re safe you’re good it wasn’t your fault etc etc can we please go back to being an adult more than a decade past all that? please???#survived my meeting so I’m gonna vent abt this a bit more bc. let’s be real.#I don’t rememember a solid 3 years of my adolescence and it fucks w me sometimes.#I remember things before 4th grade. I remember 4th grade. then bam I’m in 8th going to high school. and like#I know logistically what happened. I know emotionally I hated/was so fucking scared of [redacted] until I finally left that fucking school.#it’s just. frustrating bc if I remembered maybe I’d feel more justified letting myself get upset abt it. but I don’t so suck it up buttercup#it probably wasn’t even that bad if you don’t actually remember it so pull it together.#hell for all you know it had nothing to do with [redacted] and you were just on bad meds/depressed and forgot three solid years of your life#after meeting [redacted] <- I am not convincing myself unfortunately.
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Repeatedly uninteresting, chore-like sex with someone who's already expected it of you is more corruptive and fucked up for your brain than any amount of kink or fetish shit I'm not fucking lying dawg
#my perceptions and ideals around sex were the most warped when it felt like something i needed to do to survive#or be noticed and taken care of#then when i realized it was supposed to be this fun cool activity where you learn a lot about another person#and its like a game trying to help the other person win#how the fuck is kinky/“nasty” shit more corruptive for the human mind than having the same sex the same way maybe once or twice a week#like that isnt an insanely weird thing to have be normal#idk it boggles my mind. i see a lot of heavy criticism of this coming from the opposition and its like#why are you fighting to make all sex the same boring shit? whos making you do this?#to say that “weird” sex is harmful and having “specific desires” is degenerate#anyways weird as shit#couldnt stop thinking about it
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#i have been debating making a post about this all day because ive been trying to just not deep it#because people are stupid and you cant do anything about it#but i cant TAKE THIS ANYMORE SPONGEBOB#anyways here i go#i do not GET this fucking animosity and Literal demonisation of animals. like i hate it to my fucking core#i was just talking about how i like snakes because i think theyre cool but would probably never have one because as much as i love them#they creep me out lmao#anyways cue this fucking moron being like “oh you know snakes are so bad and like theyre literally the symbol for the devil” and yada#yada yada. the story of adam and eve was also brought into it#and im literally sitting there like. so this one snake was bad in a story. and iT WASNT EVEN A REAL FUCKING SNAKE IT WAS THE L IT ER AL#DEVIL!!! and you are like all snake bad 👎#like bro snake have no thots. head fucking EMPTY.#like i dont know how to even explain properly how dumb this is. its that stupid#it just makes me sad because i was always taught that you respect all creatures because they were made my god#and you cant blame them for things because they do not have morals like humans do!! they legit just work on survival instinct#and idk its just soooo fucking annoying because its these same people that give so much weight to other stupid thoughts and yeah#idk how to conclude this properly but there you go my ted talk.#snakes are cool animals and they deserve to live and are NEEDED just as much as any other animal uwu#le text post
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every single day i log onto this app with hannibal on the brain is one day closer to my inevitably 5k word essay on the similarities and differences between zenoswol & hannigram. these are not at all related but they are both part of my special interests so they are now
#sonething something mutual destruction & love through violence & affection/hatred &-#but also something about how zenos assumes a lot which hannibal tends to leave up to will. statements & questions. therapist & enemy.#the difference in setting. the all of it. i am going insane thinking about this and i am alone jn this#its the autism.#it is 4 am i have exams tomorrow i should not still be awake but im THINKING. AGAIN.#also the way hannigram definitely affected the way i viewed zenos like. in general#aromanticism also factors into this#i like exploring my own psychology its like pretending to feel my emotions by being aware of them#surviving things they shouldnt?? doing things that in a normal person relationship would be absolutely horrible???#(idk whether hijacking someones body to kill their friends or trying to saw someones head open is worse)#(but neither of those things really seem like a healthy thing to do)#the whole 'idk what this emotion is so im killing you' vibe. 'try to kill me you are the first and only one i want to die to'#theyre like cats bringing home dead mice. i dont want ur dead mouse but i know you do it out of love so thanks man. pls stop tho#also one of my ocs (tma oc actually) served the end & sacrificed those they loved to it.#killing as a form of love. not a mercy kill (tho ive used that as well!) but just.#fucked up little guys who believe that killing someone is the ultimate show of love. who cannot see past the violence#oughhhhh#i miss my tma oc they were cool i should go back to them
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i can't believe i used all my tags on this. i have MORE TO SAY. honorable mentions i will not elaborate on: pikmin, runescape, OG animal crossing.
the reason for all my tags is because there's a difference between "most fun" and "most important" and feel like if they're important u should at least say why :3
#1. metroid prime trilogy: my first dive into metroidvania games and to this day it is probably my favorite genre next to soulsborne.#also as a space nerd egg “wow she's so cool i wish i could be like her” lmaooooo buddy..#2. eternal darkness sanity's requiem: REALLY great unique game. graphics r a bit dated but i think it otherwise holds up rly well.#great spellcasting system with a rock beats scissors beats paper type of thing between different uh. “types” of magic? sourced#from different gods that seem to exist outside of time. idk what bar it raised exactly but it made a strong impression on me#and I've been wishing i had something like it ever since. the sequel has been started multiple times but i don't think it's ever#gonna happen 😔 nintendo has some surprisingly GREAT rated R games.#3. fallout new vegas/skyrim: having enjoyed these so much I've had them on every system i think getting them for PC was a literal#game changer. i played vanilla then ultimate editions and Thought i played them to death but once i got console access on PC??#it kinda served as my entry point to using mods and recently I've even made my own mod for elden ring and dark souls 3 (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)#not that I really needed or used mods with those games - but just kinda being Aware™ that being on PC means u have access#to the game's underlying functionality that you don't get on console. making bat scripts for skyrim/fonv made for some#HILARIOUS gameplay 😭#4. Sonic adventure 2 battle: rly just the sonic games in general but this one FUCKS. Songs r bangers. love the characters.#u low-key kidnap the president for a bit?? more like u break into his car to talk with him nonchalantly lol but still 💀#i listen to the OST to this day!!! when i think of a favorite GameCube game this is one of the first to come to mind.#and the chaos 🥺🥺🥺 and Rogue hey queen (。ノω\。)#5. hard to pick a Last One here.. I'm sure there are a lot of games that could be a stand-in choice but RE4/Dead Space Trilogy:#these were some GREAT horror survival games with a good plot and engaging gameplay. Dead Space especially was one me and#all my friends played and took turns playing (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ just the time spent together alone was good but just rly solidifying that#u can have horror a good plot And good gameplay all in one. i love survival horror as a genre to this day ( ◜‿◝ ) wish i could#remember others i played but i can't?? speaks to how iconic they were at the time though.#6. (honorable mention) the mass effect trilogy: u wanna talk about great plot and engaging gameplay?? these games were SO#fucking good omg 😭 i LOVE the lil class system and the different abilities u get to use i loved that u could carry ur character and#decisions across games. and the fucking TRAGEDY of ur faves not making it thru the ending of ME2 (〒﹏〒) I fr#Went Back so i could try again and again till i at LEAST saved Jack but also saved everyone.#i think the emotional payoff for all ur characters ur invested in r pretty good when u make it to the third since it's p cinematic?#kinda want to play it again. ick do i want to touch the origin launcher though is the real question (´-﹏-`;) i bought it in a bundle#on steam and immediately asked for a refund when i realized i couldn't just play it through the steam launcher (ノ`⌒´)ノ┫:・┻┻#anyways. lots of time spent there too and another addition to the “you can have fun gameplay AND a great plot” pile.
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Uni is difficult but at least I have a crush on someone
#they’re very likely trans femme but I fuck with that#sexuality is strange and confusing anyway#crushes are very important for survival#idk how to flirt though and they think I’m gay#which isn’t wrong but I don’t know if it’s 100% right either#a better description of my sexuality is probably just faggot#I’d be stupid to not be down with t4t#also they just seem like a cool and interesting person#my rambling
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