#I've seriously had enough
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Honest to fuck at this point I think politicians should have to pay ME for every time I have to see their shit eating grins in an ad. I'm getting ads for these assholes and not only are they not in my county, they're not even in my STATE or even REGION.
Political advertising should honest to god be illegal at this point.
You want people to know who you are, to vote for you, to stand behind you?
Then fucking DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES IT WORTH IT.
#my shit#politics#I've seriously had enough#all parties and all politicians#they're all fucking evil#none of them deserve a position in office#and this isn't me being edgy or “enlightened”#i will very much still vote in November#but nobody who's a good person is also a politician and vice versa#I'm so fucking tired of political ads though like give it a fucking rest. spend your money on something that actually goddamn matters#or give it back to your fucking community that you claim to care so much about
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A bonus of bonus for the previous worm post, I guess? 🤔
#spy x family#sxf fanart#twiyor#loid forger#agent twilight#yor forger#thorn princess#anya forger#bond forger#the forgers#my art#an extra kick from the musebunny#I've had enough with all these worms already 😭#this is a shitpost#don't take it seriously
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Bully sketch dump 3 + crops
I'm flying out so since I can't take my tablet with me I'm releasing all my captive sketches into the wild *magic hand gesturing*
(Thanks to @/bidisaster-peanut-romano for instigating Tad & Parker besties hc with me. I sob every time)
#And since having one stream of serotonin isn't enough#i've merged my current fixations together#Seriously tho#everytime I get to the Elysium boss fight#I only see derbif#if I had a nickel for everytime I love-hated a pretentious blonde character and their sometimes meaner reticent bodyguard#i'd have two nickels#Ted x Beatrice but SPECIFICALLY in the NPMD font#Shoutout to that one (1) Cornelius enjoyer artist because you were right all along#he should be a fandom fav#HC: Gord and Pinky get together for sunday gossip EVERY week.#Like sunday church! except cattier#they do not miss a day#then they talk for hours and get all angry#then they shop it all away#Tad and Parker#i hereby sentence you both to unlearn shame together#bully cce#canis canem edit#bully scholarship edition#bully game#art#bully rockstar#bully#bully fanart#jimmy hopkins#bullycce#gord vendome#derby harrington#bif taylor
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“We don't get to choose not to live on the spinning rock we call Earth” is such a raw quote you'd think it was from classic literature author Kenji Miyazawa but actually it's from Kenji Miyazawa BungouStrayDogs
#God I didn't remember this line going so hard#... And it's because it didn't. In the manga official English translation it's “We can't stop living atop this spinning rock we call Earth”#Which loses a lot of nuance if you ask me#kenji miyazawa#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s4#bsdrewatch2023#But man this scene is so good. I just had a flashback of when it rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time. It's amazing.#Seriously chapters 58-60 are the chapters that all together made me go “Wait. This manga is good actually?????”#Like the Mushitarou arc had already been good but I thought it had been like. An accident. But then this arc was like Whoa#Anyways!!! I love Kenji he's my favourite.#And I could write an essay on how “We can't stop living atop this spinning rock we call Earth” too is deeply consistent with bsd's–#nihilistic worldview. But there's not enough space in the tags#To be honest I've been a bit (very very) depressed about my future in the past days and this speech really cheered me up.#Thank you Kenji :)
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i keep seeing people say ktl never claimed to have a plot as an arguement against haters and i dont mean to alarm anybody but it's a rom-com the relationship between sa rang and won is the plot and so far it's fucking serving im sorry but people complaining about a rom-com focusing on the relationship between the protagonists just need to go watch something else
#in this essay i will#im this 🤏 close to actually writing an essay abou this dont test me#i have had enough#king the land#jtbc king the land#ktl#lee junho#lim yoona#2pm junho#snsd yoona#cheon sa rang#gu won#kdrama#seriously thinking of making a post about why king the land is the best kdrama rom-com I've watched so far
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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Kunikida owns a motorbike that he doesn't drive anymore(in storage) but he ends up talking about all things motor related with Chuuya and ends up getting it back out again and Dazai finds out when Kunikida and Chuuya come to pick him up for a date and they both show up on their motorbikes and he's completely shocked and swoons over his two hot motorbike boyfriends .
(Please someone make this into reality!!!)
#bc like that would be so awesome omfg#best thought I've ever had#seriously i can't get enough of these three#they make me so insane#this is my favourite thing ever#i think about this everyday#i think about this all night long#i stay awake not sleeping bcs i'm thinking about this#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#kunikida doppo#kunichuzai#kunichuu#kunikidazai#my post#soukoku#skk#kunichuuya#fic idea#writing prompt#headcanon#kndz
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thinking about it..... really thinking about it.........
#femslash takeukai based off of casual by chappell roan CHAT AM I COOKING?!!#i've had that idea floating around in my brain for at least a month now and i'm REALLY starting to consider it#i have never read a takeukai fic in my life but i feel like i've watched haikyuu enough times to understand them#i also have no femslash takeukai fics to reference BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE#which is a crime. seriously#takeukai is fairly popular i think#it's technically a rare pair but it's not the rarest of rare pairs#i'd put them on the same level as osasuna#so the fact that NO ONE has thought of gender bending them is insane to me#BUTCH LESBIAN UKAI IS RIGHT THERE#also femme takeda who's soooooo good luck babe coded...#fellas i am IN the kitchen.#volleyball guys
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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"ok so WHAT IF aziraphale ACTUALLY–" what if aziraphale had religious trauma and was brainwashed for thousands of years and what if he can't escape the thought of wanting to do good and be good and what if he was shocked by the kiss and hated himself for liking it so fucking much and what if there were no coffee poising and brain control and secret plans and body switch but only a character with flaws making mistakes bc he thought it would mean finally being FREELY together with the demon he wanted for more than 6000 years. what then?
#my take on every bullshit theory i've seen on tiktok and on here#ik yall just want the ending to hurt less but why cant we just accept that sometimes characters makes mistakes and hurt their loved ones in#the process? aziraphale didn't do anything remotely wrong he thought this would be the solution to every problem they ever had and he#thought he could finally make heaven enough for crowley and make HIMSELF enough for them and like seriously just accept that he still has#a lot to learn and mistake to make and he can only do that by making them#good omens#good omens s2#aziraphale#azicrow#aziracrow#go s2#good omens season 2#good omens meta
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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Payload doll because yes
Why does everyone hate payload so much though? Like I get that the world levels are short but I never thought they were terrible. I see a lot of people hating on them though.
But it's okay because payload is still my favorite level though, even if it doesn't have much to it for most people <3
#geometry dash#geometry dash au#geometry dash humanization#geometry dash fanart#I'm still devloping my style for drawing dolls/plush toys so this is my best attempt#I wish there were more humanizations of the world levels#I've only technically seen one other person draw any world level so far#which is why I draw them#but seriously I've had phases where I would just have payload on loop for hours#okay that's enough tags lol
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had the craziest day between irl stuff, the insane shit that went down in tetro danganronpa, and despair time coming off hiatus (also kumitantei's demo releasing but i didn't have time to play it today unfortunately), but i appreciate this moment for giving me a good laugh
#drdt#danganronpa: despair time#tetro danganronpa#tetro dr#holy fuck david you did not have to be so mean to my boy#but seriously this was so out of pocket like LMAOOOOO#david has had enough#and tbf i wanna see whit REALLY crack at some point#but i just wasn't expecting it haha#anyway go watch both fangans i've mentioned here they're really good#and also go check out kumitantei: old school slaughter#it's a fangan that turned into an original game and it looks so cool#hopefully i can do some more in depth discussion of despair time once i get settled into my new school schedule#and i think i want to do some tetro dr analysis once ch 1 finished we'll see how that chapter ends tho before i really consider it#so glad drdt is back i've missed it#especially my boy whit
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Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)
Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.
#unfortunately the seller forgot to send me the part that makes the door close softly 🙄 he'll send it soon tho#it would definitely be easier to teach the chickens that this contraption is safe if it didn't slam closed#it would probably also be easier if they'd ever eaten out of a feeder of any sort ever in their lives 😅#midnight has been eating off the ground for 11 years and doesn't seem keen to eat out of some newfangled noisy tin can#but hopefully it'll get easier#if the chickens get hungry enough they'll eat out of anything i figure#anyway the star of these training sessions is definitely tofu. she's very shy so i didn't expect her to try it so quick but#apparently she'll do anything for bread scraps!#midnight#tofu#crow#oh yeah more quick notes#the front panel on the feeder is open in these photos bc i was still in the process of adjusting the spring tension#also I've since rearranged the bricks so it's easier for the chickens to stand in front of it#i reeeeally hope this works bc. you guys. the rats are SO bad#i was at the end of my rope i was seriously almost ready to simply get rid of all the chickens i was so stressed#things haven't been easy for me regarding all my animals i had to leave behind when i moved. i miss them every day#I'm also so not used to living in a house without a single animal. I've always had pets around til now#i want a cat but I'm holding out hope that i can convince my parents to give me MY cat. my dad refused to let me take her#and I'm worried about her. she needs more specialized care and she will never receive it in that house#sigh anyway. i have a lot on my mind
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...
#ctxt#charlie vs mail#ooooohhhhhh my god just let me fucking work alreadyyyyyy#Job Got but now they're like...#well since you had a medical issue within the last 5 years we need a doctor's note confirming you're recovered enough to work#and if we don't get it by X date we'll assume you're no longer interested in the position & nuke you from orbit#like i do get it they're feds & bureaucracy reigns supreme.#& having disability documented will make it easier to get accommodations down the line if needed#but god it's frustrating that i've spent the last 2+ years LITERALLY BEGGING PLEADING W/ EMPLOYERS & DOCTORS TO BELIEVE THAT I'M DISABLED#had to see 4 doctors & go through 3 bosses before i found a provider willing to help me & get work accommodations#and now that i'm finally mostly healed from surgical complications & back to being more or less able-bodied...#NOW they wanna put me under a microscope & be like 'are you suuuuuuure you can really do this job?? PROVE IT.'#bitch i wouldn't have applied in the first place if i wasn't confident that i'm far enough along in recovery to do the damn thing#two extremes on the spectrum i guess#from 'pissing on the clock during an 8.5 hr shift? unnecessary. stop faking or we'll fucking fire you'#to 'sure ur surgery was over 2 years ago & ur almost ready to graduate PT & ur symptoms are effectively managed.... BUT ARE THEY?????'#like i guess i'm grateful that they seem to take health issues seriously. & i do want my dr's honest opinion if i can handle a physical job#at the same time this is the most obnoxiously arduous onboarding process i've ever endured & i wanna bite someone
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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