#I've not actually read it yet because it's not released in the uk

[thavron]

So I think I've cracked this moment.

So this moment has bothered me. I've seen several people say this is Crowley breaking up with Aziraphale, but I think it has a different meaning. I think he's saying, "I understand."

Hear me out.

It was actually listening to the song Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy that caused me to have a little epiphany. I love how it's juxtaposed over Crowley rushing back to Aziraphale, indicating that he is the Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, but there is more to it.

That song was released in 1976, which is a time when being gay or being queer of any kind was deeply frowned upon. Though laws in the UK banning same sex relationships had been lifted by this time, for consenting adults over the age of 21. Freddie explicitly coming out at this time was something that could have ended his career. Freddie danced with the media on this one, hinted but was never forthright and kept his romantic life largely under wraps. This is something that queer people did in general and had to do well into the 90s. They flirted in code, they romanced behind closed doors. They kept their love out of sight.

Much like our Ineffable Husbands.

Editing to add- that the reason this triggered something for me, is that despite the secrecy, Freddie Mercury got up on stage and sang a song about a man taking another man out on a date at the Ritz. Everyone knew. Just no one knew knew. And it wasn't enough to end his career. Much like our Ineffable Husbands. Everyone knows, including them. Just no one says a thing about it.

Which brings me back to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.

This song is about one magical night. A couple meet, fall in love, feel the magic of their romance, and then as the sun comes up they go home. It is something like a dream that has to be let go with the harsh light of day. But there is hope, because sometimes they can hear the echo of the nightingale. A promise perhaps to meet again.

So I think it is widely assumed that there is more to the 1941 flashback. I tend to concur. I think we will see the origin of why this song is important to them. I suspect the song is about them. They have one magical night, where they are both brave and express their love for each other. But then the sun comes up and they realise that they have to go back to their lives. I think they will acknowledge that the incident with the zombies was a close call, and they need to cool off and stay away from each other. Slow down.

So 1967 is the first time they have seen each other since. They both know how they feel, they're just waiting for the right time. They shouldn't have met at all, except Aziraphale wants to give Crowley the holy water. I think that explains the awkwardness but also their softness toward each other. It's a meeting of lovers, but the time isn't right just yet. No nightingales are singing. That's what Aziraphale means by "You go too fast for me." Not yet, it's too soon. We're still under suspicion.

So the end of season one, the world is not over and our ineffable husbands are free. What do they do? They go for date at the Ritz. You can not tell me this is not a date. Sorry, don't believe you. "The Ritz is the most romantic hotel in the world." It's like their whole selling point. It's why it pops up in the lyrics of Berkley Square, and also in the lyrics of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. It's the place where magic happens. And for me, the playing of the song, and the reference from God herself, it's saying the time is right. They can finally be together again. This is their moment.

So Season Two. I've read reviews of season two where people liken it to fanfiction. Neil calls it is a bridge season. I think it's the dream. Not actually a dream, I don't think Neil is that unoriginal. But in the song they liken that one magical night to a dream. It's a fantasy that they get to live until the sun comes up. They get to live their dream for four years. They are together and they are in love but they are still living in secret. They still don't acknowledge it. They're still holding back. One of the themes in this series is timing is everything. Maggie and Nina's relationship doesn't work because timing. The magic trick worked the time it mattered. Timing is important, and the ineffable husbands are bad at it. They should have thrown themselves into this but they were too cautious and they missed their chance.

I think this conversation is when Crowley realises. Not that he is love with Aziraphale, that was established in 1941. But that everyone knows anyway. There is no reason to hide. No one cares that they're an item. Aziraphale has a similar epiphany after his chat with Shax. So they both decide to move the relationship along, but damn do they have bad timing.

Now I am as confused and heart broken as anyone about the final fifteen. And I am certain that there is something that we are not seeing, a trick that we've missed. There are six minutes unaccounted for. Neil says its a continuity error, but he's demon, he lies.

So here is what I think, and why this line "that's the point, no nightingales" is important. At some point during that conversation Crowley catches on. Whether they have a moment of stopped time, or the fact that Aziraphale is acting so utterly unhinged, there is something that happens that we don't see and it clues him in. He is hurt and angry yes, but he understands. What he is understanding is that the dawn came stealing up, and that the interlude is over. The nightingales stopped singing, and they have to go back to work. He gets it and that's how he lets Aziraphale know.

"You're an idiot, we could have been us." He doesn't like the plan, whatever it is. He thinks running would have been preferable, but he is resigned to it.

Then that kiss. One last goodbye just in case the world ends? Desperate longing and years of pent up frustration? I don't think the trick is here. I think this is misdirection. We're all looking at the kiss, we missed the coded message that came right before. I think "No nightingales" may also suggest that this isn't the kiss. The romantic kiss will come later, when the nightingales sing again. And they will, of that I'm certain now.

The song playing in the car, a message from Aziraphale or from the Bentley reminding him to have hope. Two things we know about Crowley. He is an optimist. He loves to rescue his angel. We also know that he is the trusted stooge with the steady hand. Aziraphale will perform the theatrics, he will do the rest. The fact that he waited and didn't just storm off like he did when he was rejected in series 1 tells Aziraphale that he is still here. He's still in this.

That's my interpretation anyway.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Re: Ana "because news about it never reached them, suggests that Swift's PR was actively squashing them. "

Yep! They definitely wanted to avoid liability and was able to spin most of the bad press because -wait for it- US swiffers dont read Portuguese. Most of the articles discussing the death of Ana (and the injuries of over 1000 fans and the death of the robbery victim before the show) were in Portuguese as many of the rightfully critical sources were Brazil based. This gave swifts team the upper hand and could just say whatever she wanted because who's gonna google translate when they can absolve mother immediately. Swift/her team claimed she contacted Ana's family privately, the family (I believe her cousin and sister) replied to the announcement on twitter that she did not. Then she actually reached out and invited them to take a pic with her. Yknow with the woman who was responsible for their relatives death. PR also released all sorts of Travis lovey dovey, and holiday plan articles. The only things I've seen in English were random relationship bullshit and some article that mentioned how frizzy her hair looked in Brazil. It was 100% a coverup; I think they knew they'd be liable for negligence and distanced themselves as much as possible. While still making tons of money.

Also I'm sure it's obvious but she's racist as fuck and does not care about her fans of color. She wouldn't even stay in Brazil during that bit. She flew to one of her houses every night. Not white af Scotland though, they need to hydrate ✨✨

Oh yeah- I also saw a lot of cover up stories. I saw so many fans posting to insta about how out-of-breath Taylor looked- yet none of those people were talking about the literal death and hospitalizations occurring around her. They were only talking about how hard it must have been for Taylor Swift to sing in those conditions- and "omg look how much Mother cares about us"

Gimme a break-

I wish I never see another article about Taylor Swift's hair being frizzy ever again! or another article about her stupid football boyfriend.

Swift sure does use the media to cover up her shitty life choices a lot for someone who also claims the media is constantly bullying her.

Dear Taylor Swift, which is it? Are you a victim of the media- or do you have enough media outlets in your pocket now to keep you forever absolved of any wrongdoing?

Can you imagine that your family member just died at a concert- and the Musician of that Concert essentially went "Whoops, how about a photo-op? That's enough recompense, right?"

How utterly crass- Shameful.

Anyway- yeah I am also getting bad vibes from the fact that she's been so caring about people in the USA and UK- yet everywhere else it seems like she just doesn't care.

Bad, Bad, Racist, vibes from that one.

[thebibliosphere]

Callout post for @a-kind-of-merry-war and the Mills & Boon marketing team for trying to make me choose between Raff and Penn in Emma/Merry's debut novel, One Night in Hartswood, a queer medieval romance, when my ADHD, bisexual ass has never committed to making a decision in my life, and I'm sure as shit not about to start now because I love them both, your honor.

I love them both so much.

More coherent words to follow when I've actually sat down and processed this because I'm currently in that stage when you've just finished a book, and you don't know what to do with your life anymore.

This was so much fun. Really gorgeous prose. Reads like comfort fanfic even while you're screaming at the pages. I am absolutely going to order myself a hardcover copy from the UK, as us plebians in the US don't seem to be getting one. (Yet.) UK release date Jan 19th, 20223. The US release seems to be in November (according to Amazon, at least). All the pre-order links are up above, along with some more info and tropes, but I'll link them again here.

I am going to lie down. Maybe scream into my pillow for a bit.

Additional image ID under the tags due to length and post accessibility.

Image ID: A series of three images collected into a collage. In the top image, we are shown the purple spine of a book that reads "One Night in Hartswood" by Emma Denny in a sunset gradient of colors.

The bottom images showcase the two sides of the book cover, which is rendered with a watercolor texture background in yellow, orange, and pink, bordered by lilac and dark purple trees with leaves falling to the ground.

This arc copy of the book depicts the main character, Penn, on the back of the book, cast in the same dark purple silhouette as the trees. He is sitting on the ground under a tree, head bowed with one arm resting on his knee. Above his head, the name “Penn” is written in a purple gilded font. Underneath is the hashtag #PennHasMyHeart.

The right side image depicts the front cover where the other main character, Raff, is rendered similarly but with his head uplifted and a dandelion flower blowing away in his fingers. Above him is his name in the same gilded font, and beneath him is the hashtag #RaffHasMyHeart.

[randomvarious]

1970s Punk Rock Playlist

So, like, isn't it kind of ridiculous that I've had this 70s punk rock playlist for a few years now, but I've never once put any UK stuff on it before? Isn't that a very crucial place where punk rock really blew up between its late 60s Detroit/Ann Arbor founding and The Ramones? Like, there's such a rich history from over across the pond that I haven't tapped into at all yet!

But, fortunately, that changes now. At long last, the Brits have arrived to fuck shit up, folks. And no, I didn't bring in any super obvious choices like The Sex Pistols or Buzzcocks or The Clash, because that's not really how I operate 😁. Instead, you're getting awesome tracks from a quartet of bands that you've probably never heard of before, unless you're either a) British or b) happened to read my 1970s power pop playlist post from last week, because there's a tiny bit of crossover there with the pop-punky and super catchy anthem that is Fast Cars' "The Kids Just Wanna Dance," which is by far this update's most popular track, as it's currently sitting at over 100K plays on Spotify.

But the rest of these adds, in spite of how good they are, have not proven nearly as popular as we keep getting nearer to their five-decade anniversary. Songs like the unfortunately oh-so-relevant-again-and-also-quite-salient anti-fascist bop, "They're Back Again" by a band called The Cigarettes, is only nearing 29K plays at this moment. And in true Brit punk fashion, this tune that was calling out a noticeable late 70s far-right rise, and was also released in the same year that Margaret Thatcher became UK prime minister too, really sounds like it pairs well with cracking some skinhead skulls! 🤘

I'm not a violent person, I'll make exception for you

And then "East Coast Kids" by The What?, which only has a little over 2.8K plays, has a bassline on it that's so prominent that, although it's most likely being played by a fretless, it could easily be mistaken for being that of a double. Really cool!

The Cigarettes - "They're Back Again, Here They Come" Fast Cars - "The Kids Just Wanna Dance" Squire - "Livin' in the City" The What? - "East Coast Kids"

And there's, of course, a YouTube version of this playlist too. Normally, I'd have at least one song to add to that one that can't be found on Spotify, but remarkably, this update doesn't actually have any.

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So with this update, our Spotify version of this playlist now stands at 22 songs that run for 54 minutes, but over on YouTube, we now have 27 songs that run for 77 minutes. So if you want a little extra 70s punk rock, like a track from the legendary Stooges that somehow wasn't actually on YouTube until I showed up and somehow only has 28 plays(?) as of this writing, give that one a look.

And if you want something more specific and concise, I've got a punk playlist that's solely focused on 1979 too.

1979 Punk Rock: YouTube / YouTube Music

And here's the list of compilations that were used to build this playlist:

Motor City's Burnin' (1998, Total Energy) Destination Bomp! (1995, Bomp! Records) What? Stuff (1990, Iloki Records) Dangerhouse, Volume 2: Give Me a Little Pain! (1992, Frontier Records) Dangerhouse, Volume One (1991, Frontier Records) The Roots of Powerpop! (1996, Bomp! Records) 100% British Mod (1998, Captain Mod)

Back to some power pop next week 😎.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Things I know about the people on Taskmaster Australia season 2, before I start watching it (I mean, it's sort of season 3, or something, but it's season 2 now, we have to refer to them by the order in which they're aired or it'll get incredibly confusing):

- When I was browsing the Chortle MICF reviews to see if there was anyone I didn't know who looked interesting and maybe I'd want to look up their stuff and/or add them to my Edinburgh list this year, I clicked on someone named Jenny Tian. I saw the words "Tik-Tok star" and closed the page again, no longer interested. Perhaps it will turn out that was totally unfairly judgmental of me and she's great. I sort of hope so. Please prove me wrong and tear down my unfair biases, Tik-Tok star.

- Obviously I know Lloyd Langford. I don't know him all that well, but he's turned up as a guest on plenty of things I've watched and listened to, and I've almost always liked him well enough. By "almost always", I mean "every time except that time when I was going through a phase of watching everything I could find by Rhod Gilbert, and I watched that old panel show called Ask Rhod Gilbert, on which Lloyd Langford was a regular, and it was a terrible show, but that's not Lloyd Langford's fault".

- Wil Anderson was the favourite "alternative comedian" of Zoe Coombs Marr's character Dave, in her stand-up show Dave, in which the joke was that he's actually a very mainstream and popular Australian comedian and her character is ignorant for considering him alternative (based on reviews I've read, I think when she performed that show in the UK, she changed it from Wil Anderson to Adam Hills). Also, Wil Anderson was the guy Daniel Kitson decided to start a parody beef with in 2005, and in retaliation Wil Anderson sicced a horrible journalist on Kitson, which became that routine in his 2005 show about how much he hated that journalist. I think in that routine too, the joke was sort of that Wil Anderson is a very mainstream popular comedian (Kitson ironically suggesting that he was going to upset the mainstream comedians with his routine). Despite this, I don't actually know any more about him than that.

- Anne Edmonds is the reason Lloyd Langford is no longer in Wales, because he got married to her in Australia. Normally I try to be careful not to define female comedians by their male partners, but in my defense, in this case, most comedians I know are British, so it's reasonable for me to know the British one and not the Australian one in this couple. Her latest stand-up show has recently been released as a special, though, and I've downloaded it and intend to watch it, and then I will know her better than him as I haven't seen Lloyd Langford's stand-up. But for now I know nothing else about her.

- No idea who Josh Thomas is, though I don't mean that as an insult, like, "This guy's so unimportant that I haven't even heard of him!" I mean it as, I don't know a lot about the Australian comedy industry. Josh Thomas is probably lovely.

- Fun fact, Australian Taskmaster Tom Gleeson used to be in a band with the guy who stole Daniel Kitson's girlfriend in 2004.

- Tom Cashman is a great Taskmaster's assistant. Though I only know that from the previous season, I haven't started the new one yet so I guess it's possible that he's got much worse at his job since then. Hopefully not though.

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

Every publishing milestone, my team sends a little postcard like this one, and honestly if it wasn't for these notes, I wouldn't take the time to actual realize and celebrate these accomplishments along my publishing journey. Some of my favorites include when the postcard I got when my manuscript moved from developmental editing to copyediting because that's when things start to get a little real for me. Another is when we move onto formatting and I have this moment when I kinda of just "blank screen" and realize....that tangled mess that's been floating around in my head for months that I've just spent many more months untangling thanks to the help and guidance of my amazing and wonderful editors is actually going to be made into a book🤯🎉

Anyway, in case you haven't heard yet: IT'S EMBERS OF ETERNITY'S RELEASE DAY!

(Details about Embers of Eternity's release below the cut)

Grab the FREE e-book of Embers of Eternity at bit.ly/heirs02 (international link) and start reading today!

Plus, Fire & Flight is only $0.99/£0.99 in the US and UK until 7/22!

If you like books with...

Magic

Adventure

Mystery

High-stakes danger

An evil sorceress

Original myths & legends

Hidden history coming to light

SLOW burns

and a life-changing decision

...check out Embers of Eternity at bit.ly/heirs02 or shop physical copies at books2read.com/eoe

Full book blurb:

The spirits of the Shadow Forest are waking up.

Hidden in the centuries-old legends of the forest is the history forgotten by the country of Tenebris. But for seventeen-year-old Nyla, the 600-year-old history has become her present. Struggling to break the curse binding her to the Woodlane Manor, she and her companions must race against time to find and defeat Dinora, the evil sorceress of legend, before she can destroy their homeland. With the help of Xander and Shamira, Nyla searches for a way to break the curse that won’t require a hefty sacrifice.

But even as their small victories swell their hope, the real battle is only just beginning. With the trio forced to confront their pasts, they must overcome their present trials and prepare to face the impending future. But what if Dinora raises her army before Nyla and Xander can gather the forces necessary to defeat her? Will they lose everything they had only just begun to dream of?

Return to Tenebris in Embers of Eternity, the stunning sequel to Brianna R. Shaffery’s epic young adult fantasy series, the Heirs of Tenebris.

[olivieblake]

Hi! I just finished The Atlas Six and loved it!! I want to buy The Atlas Paradox but I've seen that the paperback edition is a bigger format than the Atlas Six paperback... Maybe you don't know this, but will there be an edition that matches the first one? (like size and all) I just hate it when books don't match...

glad you enjoyed, thanks for reading! the atlas paradox is not available in paperback yet. the one you’re seeing is the international edition because some UK/commonwealth countries don’t get hardcovers (it’s basically the hardcover manuscript format but in a soft cover). the actual paperback edition releases january 2024

[someonelookingpraediti]

Mid Year Book Tag 2023!

I've seen a few of these going round, so I thought I'd give it a go! If anyone else does one of these, tag me so I can see!

1. What's the best book you've read so far this year? Probably A Little Life! It lived up to the hype, but it was so emotionally draining! I've also really been enjoying Lockwood & Co.

2. What's the best sequel you've read so far this year? If I had to pick, I'd say The Stolen Heir. It's a brilliant continuation of the Folk of the Air books, and I can't wait for the next book! But Hell Bent is a close second.

3. What's a new release you haven't read yet, but want to? The Sun and the Star! I'm determined to read the books in order though, so I've got LOADS to read before I get there - I'd better get started!

4. Which new release are you most anticipating for the second half of the year? Never a Hero! I loved Only a Monster, and I'm hoping the second one lives up to my expectations! I'm also super looking forward to Defiant - the final Skyward book! I feel like I should re-read the series first but I just don't think I have the time!

5. Which book was the biggest disappointment? I've DNF-ed one book so far this year, which was The Foxglove King. But my biggest disappointment was probably Tress of the Emerald Sea, just because I was really looking forward to it and it turned out to be a bit of a let down.

6. Which book was the biggest surprise? Actually, it was Kings Rising! I wasn't expecting much from the series, and the first book wasn't any good, and completely put me off. But I had a cold, and was stuck in bed, so I stuck with it, and by the third book I was in love!

7. Who is your favourite new (to you) author this year? I haven't actually read many new authors so far this year, I need to work on that for the second half! My favourite so far is probably Donna Tartt. I finally started reading The Secret History this month, and I'm nearly finished with it! It's so good, I'm really enjoying it!

8. Do you have a new favourite character? Ooh I guess any of the new demigods from Heroes of Olympus! Or Anthony Lockwood! Although I should probably finish the series before I make that kind of declaration.

9. What was a book that made you cry? Well, obviously A Little Life! I also re-read a series from my childhood, The Magician's House, and that made me absolutely sob, which I wasn't expecting!

10. What was a book that made you happy? Howl's Moving Castle! Such a cute story! I can't wait to read the next book!

11. What was your favourite book-to-screen adaptation this year? I really just don't watch that much tv. Genuinely the only adaptation I've watched this year is season two of Shadow and Bone! But it was absolutely amazing, I loved that they shook it up so much.

12. Which book had the prettiest cover? Belladonna! The UK cover is gorgeous (I've seen the US edition and yuck) and I've got the FairyLoot special edition and its so pretty!

13. How are you doing with your yearly goals? My yearly total is 100, and halfway through the year I've read 48, so I'm a little behind... but I'm nearly there! I had a few really poor months early in the year, and fell way behind, so really had to push myself to find lots of reading time in the past two months to catch up. I might have been a little ambitious with my goals.

14. What's a book you need to read before the end of the year? I've got a couple of reading lists I've barely made a dent in. I'm very keen to finish Lockwood & Co, and to try and get through the Riordan books. Other books I'm going to try to get to soon: Caraval, The Tarot Sequence, Small Miracles, The Mary Shelley Club, The Maidens, the list goes on

[girlreviews]

Review #485: Continuum, John Mayer

The thing you need to know first about my listening to this album is that I truly have never heard it, or any songs on it, ever. John Mayer was really not a mainstream thing in the UK where I grew up and any releases of new music from him happened without anyone on that little island being particularly aware of it, with a few exceptions here and there. So please imagine how weird that is when the opening track is, apparently, one of those ones that is so overplayed and recognizable in American culture that is provokes a visceral and physical response in people. But not me. I thought it was fine.

I actually hoped to like this album, because unfortunately for me, John Mayer’s “Sob Rock”, I genuinely believe has not yet had it’s day, and it’s one of the better works of art to be put out in the last decade. It was smart, conceptual, beautiful, serious and unserious and just really fucking good man. Whenever the question of what to listen to cannot be answered, the answer is Sob Rock. AND EVEN THAT has a banished song on it, because he can’t fucking help himself. John. It was 2021. It was following a year of reckoning for us all. And you thought it was funny or cool to put a track on there and unironically call it “Why You No Love Me”. Get the fuck out of here John. You’re honestly lucky the rest of it is good enough that I will tolerate this being on there at all. And it’s terrible. Get help. Get therapy. Get a lobotomy. Whoever she is, stay away from her.

I reasonably expected that this would be as good as that in a different way if it made its way to the Rolling Stone’s Top 500, but, I don’t get it. I really sat and asked myself what the appeal is for a good long while too.

There are some, SOME, like THREE tracks that I think are pretty decent songs. They’re interesting. They have depth. The rest of it is coffee house music or a guy who is trying really hard to convince you he’s a deep, romantic, misunderstood thinker. And I’m not picking up what he’s putting down. You’re a fraud my guy, I can feel it in these songs. They’re shallow. They’re a performance. But not in a good way.

This is the same John Mayer that proudly expressed in an interview (with Rolling Stone!) “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick."

Yeah, so I don’t think we are going to be reading into any of these soft boy coffee house Nora Ephron “missing each other” montage soundtrack vibes (listen to “Gravity” and tell me you can’t just see Meg Ryan drawing her curtains closed lamenting why Tom Hanks or Billy Crystal hasn’t called or emailed yet).

So look, it’s barreling towards mediocrity on all fronts, it’s especially full of shit conceptually, and I just think he needs to leave this kind of thing to Norah Jones, who isn’t really my cup of tea either but she’s not out there using the n-word in interviews, name-dropping David Duke, referring to past girlfriends as “sexual napalm”, or dating girls more than ten years younger than him that are barely adults. Just shut the fuck up John. If you’re not going to make something self deprecating that at least acknowledges what a garbage guy you are, then I’m not gonna be able to hear anything in it that’s good. That’s why Sob Rock works, you know that, right John? Cus you’re kind of a garbage guy and you’re kind of self aware in it. You’re in your forties now and this shit was never cute but I can promise you it’s just ugly now.

Honestly, I have no idea why this is critically acclaimed and the only thing I’ve got is that he is generally revered to be a prodigy of sorts on the old axe, is appreciated by his (male) peers for this, toured with the Grateful Dead etc, and this guitar is incorporated into this dull droll coffee house music. Here’s my response: so what?

Last thing on this. I once listened to Sob Rock for the bazillionth time, but I was laying in bed with it playing through my projector. I was very high. Spotify did that annoying thing it does where it puts a short animation up with the music and it was just giant on my wall. All I can say is that the vibe was ruined by John Mayer’s massive and disturbing lips. This is the duality of separating the art from the artist. Sometimes we love an album and we hate that we love it because they are such a dick and have weird lips that freak you out. If John Mayer was walking towards me on the street I would recoil in horror and run the opposite direction because his lips strike a primal fear deep in my heart. Is it rational? No. Is it true? Yes.

I listened to Continuum a second time to be thorough but it’s not gonna get a third go. But I will start a letter writing campaign insisting that the next iteration of the top 500 replace Continuum with Sob Rock and I’m pretty serious about that. My brain can’t make sense of this being better than that. I would say I’d die on that hill but I ain’t dying on no hill for this fool.

[i-should-be-so-lucky]

My ranking of Tension by Kylie Minogue

Padam Padam - Padam ? Padam . What else can I say ? Well quite alot actually . What better song to orchestrate Kylie's return to the UK Singles Top Ten , which she hadn't seen since featuring on the Taio Cruz song Higher , which , fun fact , was actually an Aphrodite reject . Padam Padam is my most streamed song on Spotify of all time , and I don't see any other song taking that spot from it any time soon(save for maybe Cherry Bomb). Padam Padam is Kylie at peak club vibes , and is also , in my humble opinion , Kylie's best lead single since Slow back in 2003 . There's a reason its gonna be one of Kylie's most remembered songs . Its iconic , its eternally fresh , and it makes you wanna move onto the club floor and find someone to take home , and have them take off all your clothes . I sincerely hope Kylie works with Ina Wroldsen and LOSTBOY in the future , because God knows they know how to make a song .

Heavenly Body - I struggled with whether to put this at number one or two , but it just couldn't quite beat out Padam Padam . Regardless of that , Heavenly Body is my second fave track of the album for a reason . Its an experience all in itself . Its so 4am , lying in bed after listening to music and reading all night vibes to me . Its so calming , and it's also Kylie at peak club . The production and bass in the song are ever-present , but not in anyway overwhelming . It kinda gives the trance of the 90s , which I love aswell . It also reminds me of Love Affair , which is also one of my favourite Kylie album cuts of all time .

Somebody To Love - A song people seem to be relatively ignoring, and I can't figure out why . Its the album closer on the deluxe edition , and for good reason . It really does give the album a feeling of closure . It feels like a song who's energy is best captured by Kylie in her mid 50s - its a more mature , calm take on love , and I find it so refreshing . I love how Kylie can be like this but also remain sexy at the same time .

You Still Get Me High - To put it simply , this is Kylie slaying at the 80s synthpop trend of the 2020s . The song is super emotional when you listen to it and pay attention to the lyrics , and the demo of it , Moonlight(Can't Say Goodbye) , is even more emotional. The high notes Kylie hits at the end are sooo good too !! I love the visualiser aswell ! It's grown on me an awful lot since Tension released , and I'm not surprised . Its pop perfection , and I will stand by that .

Just Imagine - I CANNOT understand why everyone's sleeping on this track . I cannot . The only criticism I've even seen of the song is that it doesn't go anywhere , but like , so what ? I think it's supposed to have that built-up energy in it , the neverending ball of energy that it is is like the neverending hope that the song represents . Its just. So good . And I will fight anyone and everyone on that .

Tension - Tension is definitely the most experimental track on the album , and I love it . It also marks only the second time ever that a title track of a Kylie album has been made a single , after Golden in 2018(though it would've been the fourth time if Kylie had gotten her way with making Enjoy Yourself and Rhythm of Love singles back in the PWL era) . The music video is chock-full of references too , from references to Kylie herself , to other artists , like Cher and Britney, and even movie references , like Blade Runner and Paris, Texas . It also definitely has the best music video Kylie has done since like , All The Lovers or maybe even Chocolate .

Vegas High - yet another taste of Kylie and the OG clubby feel of Tension , Vegas High is what it says it is - a high . It's continuously grown on me since its release, and I can see why it was my second fave track after the tiktok leaks months earlier. It heavily reminds me of one of my fave-ever Kylie songs , In Your Eyes , and it defo has single potential too !

Things We Do For Love - There's no surprise to why this is like , the fourth most streamed song on the album . Its good . solid . pop . It's Kylie at her best , and infused with 80s synthpop glam . The build-up to the bridge is amazing , and imo should defo be a single !

Drum - Now this is what I thought Tension was originally going to be like ! Clubby bangers , back-to-back ! Of course , Kylie ultimately chose to take it in a more 80s synthpop direction , and of course did so flawlessly . Nevertheless , its fun to Just Imagine what could've been ! I remember hearing Drum months ago , when it leaked alongside Running(which NEEDS to be released , aswell as More Than A Feeling!!!!!!)and I loved it ! I like how its structure is a little different , with the chorus taking a little longer to fully come in . I remember listening to Drum and Padam Padam when I was on holiday in Greece , and I have a vivid memory of dancing with my headphones , alone at 10PM , on a balcony overlooking beautiful scenery , the darkly-tinged yet still visable bay miles below , and the gorgeous town on the beackfront , in the north of Crete . I'll forever cherish that memory because of Drum , and I'm forever grateful .

Green Light - It's a good song , what can I say ? Its calm , cool , chill , and Kylie slays vocally . I love the visualiser too , its so fun ! I don't really have much to say on the song itself , apart from the fact that its a solid track . Oh , and the sax solo in the chorus is immaculate

Story - I find this song really sweet . I can see why Kylie cried while performing it for the first time in London . It would appear to be quite personal to her , and seems to be half an admittance on Kylie's half , of her life and its ups and moreso its downs , and also a love letter to her fans a la Sincerely Yours from Golden , and All The Lovers from Aphrodite .

Hands - This was actually my favourite track when the minute-long tiktok leaks came out a few months back . Although its fallen way down my rankings since , it's really cute as a track , and truly stands out . I love Kylie rapping sooo much (like in Secret (Take You Home)!!) . I wasn't surprised to hear it was originally gonna be on The Barbie Movie soundtrack , it really would've fitted . My only real criticism of the song is that the chorus is wayyy too short , it desperately needs a good long one because with the current version of the track it kinda throws you back into the last chorus before the bridge has even really started:/

Hold On To Now - I do think this track is a little overrated . Then again , I find All The Lovers and Say Something overrated , and the track is quite similar to them , so it's definitely just me lol . It's still a solid track though , and I can see why Kylie would choose it as the third single , even though I'd personally prefer Things We Do For Love or You Still Get Me High . Also the bridge is EUPHORIC!!!!

10 Out Of 10 - I didn't really care for it upon its release way back earlier near the start of the year , but I've started listening to it alot more since the album released ! I used to find Oliver Helden's vocals in the chorus a little grating , but I can vibe with them now . Overall , its a cute little pop number , even if it sounds a little jarring coming directly after the much darker-sounding Vegas High lolz

Love Train - It was originally my least fave but it has definitely grown on me ! Its fun , different , and I love how its like kinda a throwback to Loveboat on Light Years ! Its super camp , and I am glad Kylie put it on the album , even if it seems a little out of place at times .

One More Time - it's the only track that hasn't really grown on me . I find the chorus kinda repetitive . I love Kylies vocals tho , when I'm in a good mood its a fun song to listen to !(Still wouldve scrapped it in a heartbeat if it meant getting Running or More Than A Feeling a proper release though , sorry)

[sci-fiworlds]

A Sci Fi Worlds Interview with Lex Gigeroff: Lexx Co-Writer/Actor

Most of our readers have probably never heard of this very strange Canadian-German and later UK co-production, which is a shame, because Lexx has to be easily the most unique sci-fi series to hit our screens since the original (and best) Star Trek made its debut back in 1966. Not content to do yet another Gene Rodenberry rip-off series and bored by the endless (and often archaic) moralising of The Next Generation and Voyager, the Lexx writers (known as the Supreme Beans) created something totally different and very, very weird.

With its characteristically dark sets and black humour, and operating from the perspective "humans are a flawed species," Lexx was a revolutionary series. Its characters weren't on any spiritual quest to "better themselves" or "save the day," rather, they were motivated by the mundane things that motivate 99.9% of the human race: boredom, lust and hunger. Throw in "the Lexx," a Manhattan sized bioengineered insect craft and "the most powerful destructive force in the two universes" and you had something just as fun as the original Trek but just about as different as you can get too. I guess that's why Lexxicons lovingly still call it "Star Trek's evil twin."

Richard Thomas: First things first, thank you so much for giving the BoA readers the time to answer these questions. I'm a huge fan of Lexx and I'm sure that, after reading this, many of our readers will want to check it out too.

Lex Gigeroff: I had known Paul Donovan for a few years before Lexx, and he approached me about writing for the series after seeing a play I had written/performed in. Paul decided to go with a couple of virtually unknown writers (Jeff Hirschfeld & myself), because there was something in our approach that appealed to Paul's odd sense of humour.

Richard Thomas: In the DVD extras on the TV movie releases I heard you and the other writers say that Ridley Scott's Alien and John Carpenter's Dark Star were big influences. The longer story arcs and extensive CGI (not to mention the chief villain's name "His Shadow" ) might suggest Babylon 5 was at least a little influential too. Also Red Dwarf stars Craig Charles and Hattie Hayridge appeared in season four so I don't know if that series was a influence or not.

What were some of your other influences and are there any sci-fi shows you just hated and wanted to get away from? If so, why and what were you trying to do different with Lexx?

Lex Gigeroff: Dark Star and Alien were somewhat influential -- Dark Star for its anarchy, Alien for its production design. But I can categorically state that Babylon 5 had no influence whatsoever as we never watched it, and to this day I've never seen an episode. I liked Red Dwarf, but can't really say it was an influence. Monty Python had as much of a background influence as anything. We wanted to get away from the heavy, preachy, moralizing sci-fi of shows like Star Trek: TNG, which in my view took all the joie de vivre out of the original series. I've always been a big sci-fi fan - but I think my influences tend to come more from writers like Phillip K. Dick and the dystopian novels of J.G. Ballard, rather than the Heinlein-Clarke axis.

Richard Thomas: Lexx is often called Star Trek's evil twin. I can see why some fans might consider Lexx anti-Trek but personally I think in some ways Lexx is actually a lot closer to the 1960s series than any of Trek spin-offs are. I've heard Lexx creator Paul Donovan talk about being a fan of the original Star Trek so what are your thoughts on this? Were you trying to be a little like the original Star Trek or were you trying to be something completely different?

Also, are you a fan of the original series yourself and, if so, what are some of your favourite episodes?

Lex Gigeroff: There was a sense of fun in the original series, and I think we wanted to try and create three characters as distinctive as Kirk-Spock-McCoy with Kai-Stan-Xev (plus a robot head). I watched the show quite a bit when I was younger, and enjoyed some of its campier moments, i.e. The Squire of Gothos. I also liked the one with the weird head in the sky that turned out to be Clint Howard.

Richard Thomas: Back to Lexx. Given that the show and the ship were both named after you, did you have much input on developing the early mythology of the series, i.e. the Insect Wars, the two universes, cyclic time, proto blood, the Divine Order and, of course, love slaves?

Lex Gigeroff: I had a lot of input conceptually from the ground up, as the three of us really developed the concept and bible following Paul's general brushtrokes. A lot of the 'backstory' went in as a result of our collaboration with Showtime in the beginning, who seemed to want a lot of stuff about 'prophecies', etc. We were a little reluctant about going this route, as we feared it would lead down the rabbit hole of pretentiousness that we were trying to get away from.

I think looking back on it now the thing I'm proudest of is that Lexx wasn't really like anything else on television. Most shows are just rip-offs of other shows, but I think there was something different about what we were doing that made it hard to come up with a good comparison with others shows -- not that it isn't comparable in some aspects to other shows, it's just that we weren't following anyone else's model. So it was, I think, a little unique in that respect.

Richard Thomas: One of the things I love most about Lexx is that all four seasons look very different and distinct from each other, each introducing their own new chief villains: His Divine Shadow, Mantrid, Prince, Vlad, oh and Lyekka and her sisters. Where did the ideas for these head villains come from and do you have a personal favourite?

Lex Gigeroff: Who knows where ideas come from? I liked all our villains, but if I had to pick one I'd go with Mantrid, because there was something just otherworldly strange about Dieter Laser's performance.

Richard Thomas: Mantrid has to be my personal favourite too, the fact that there's so little left of him when we first meet him reminded me a little of my favourite Doctor Who villain, the crippled mad scientist and Dalek creator Davros.

Lex Gigeroff: I think we thought about bringing Dieter Laser back, but it wouldn't have been Mantrid exactly. As we liked to say, "death is never final", which was our excuse for bringing back actors we liked.

Richard Thomas: Lets take a step back a bit. I think out of the four two-hour TV movies the first one I Worship His Shadow is probably my favourite, I loved the holographic show trials and ridiculously severe penalties. What was your favourite of the TV movies and why?

Lex Gigeroff: Hmmm... I guess Eating Pattern for me, because it wasn't quite as burdened with having to deliver back story and setup. Plus I got to hang around as Rutger Hauer's sidekick. But I liked all four.

Richard Thomas: You actually made an appearance in I Worship His Shadow, playing the part of His Shadow's new host body. You appeared in a lot of other episodes too, the crazy surgeon in Tunnels and the sleazy porn director in Fluff Daddy were two of my favourites. What character did you enjoy playing the most in the series?

Lex Gigeroff: I was very happy to play the parts I did. I had the most fun with Dr. Rainbow in Tunnels, but I think my best performance, such as it was, came as the Bound Man in I Worship His Shadow.

Richard Thomas: Probably the most unique episode of Lexx has to be Brigadoom. I have to say I was really sceptical about the idea of a musical episode but it's become easily one of my favourites. Come to think of it there's an awful lot of singing in Lexx, the first episode even starts with the Brunnen-G battle song.

Where did the idea to have so much singing in the series come from and what did you think of it? Also, do you have a personal favourite Lexx song?

Lex Gigeroff: We knew from very early on that we wanted to do a musical, but we had to come up with a good angle on it, which in the end I think we did. I don't really have a favourite song. I sometimes sing Bog is the king of Pattern in the shower.

Richard Thomas: Season three's Battle and season four's The Game are another two of my favourites, I really enjoyed the competition between Kai and Prince in those episodes.

I could go on all day about the different episodes but other than the ones we've already discussed what do you think were some of the best episodes of Lexx?

Lex Gigeroff: I also really liked The Game, 769, Prime Ridge, Stan Down to name a couple. Twilight and Apocalexx Now have their moments as well.

Richard Thomas: A Midsummer's Nightmare is probably my least favourite episode, though, it's pretty funny. Are there any episodes you just dislike or wish you'd done differently in hindsight?

Lex Gigeroff: Sure. Lots of things could have been better if we'd had more time. But I don't have any regrets. Some episodes didn't work all that well, like the one you mentioned and, say, Patches in the Sky.

Richard Thomas: I think I'm right in saying Lexx ended the way you and the other writers always intended, the Lexx blowing up the Earth after four seasons, but not long after the final episode Yo Way Yo went out I remember hearing a rumour that a spin off series about Prince, Priest and Bunny was being planned. Was there any truth to this rumour at all or is this the first you've heard of it?

Lex Gigeroff: There was never any serious talk of a spin-off.

Richard Thomas: If Lexx ever did return for a fifth season or maybe even just a new TV movie, what do you think the story would be about? Would it still be set in the Dark Zone or would the Lexx crew find its way into the mysterious Other Zone? Would Kai be alive or dead? Would 790 fall in love with Stan? Would the bad carrots be back?

Lex Gigeroff: We could have gone back into the Insect Wars, I suppose. But on the whole we were satisfied with the way it ended. I'll leave it to Fan Fics to think up alternate story lines.

Richard Thomas: It's been nearly eight years now since the series ended, personally, I think Lexx has been a little underrated.

Lex Gigeroff: I don't think we had much influence, if any. I'll leave it up to others to suss out if we were ahead of our time or not.

Richard Thomas: Thanks again Lex, are you working on anything now and/or do you have any websites or anything else you'd like to plug?

Lex Gigeroff: My pleasure, Richard. It's always great to hear that folks enjoyed our strange little show. I've always got a couple of projects on the hop, and I'm trying to promote my new play, Conrad & Barbara - about Lord Conrad Black and his consort. I've also had a sports-comedy blog for some years which can be found at: www.theobgcommunique.blog.ca Cheers!

READ RICHARD THOMAS'S SCI-FI WORLDS COLUMN FOR BINNALL OF AMERICA

[techforevil-er]

01-07.01.2023

has it really only been a week?

at work

i ran a part 1 of team values workshop in place of a retro, i wrote it up and i'm waiting for feedback from my PM before proceeding. trying to make the process at leat a little bit async. this will be very useful for reviewing healthcheck questions

changed standup format and my method of terrorising the team. I mentioned before that we basically have either an icebreaker or a mole every standup with points system, I got copies of Saboteur for the two winners. :) this Q, inspired by someone on LinkedIn, to focus on collaboration I only pull up the board and ask 'what help do you need today?' & people raise their hands if they have something to say - there's a points system again for every help request or thank you (they score each other). we shall see how it goes. it's a bit of a challenge as the team is on a quieter side but going through the motions and treating standup as a reporting meeting is kind of useless to me...

stole some design system day stickers and made a creature (i've swapped the blue and green ears since taking the pic because too much of the colour on the same side was annoying me.....)

in my own time

horror show @ somerset house

very good exhibit, the first part is probably the weakest through sheer repetition (if you've been to any exhibit about uk music, counterculture, or fashion you'd have seen the same pics of Bowie, Vivienne Westwood etc) but gets interesting in the 2 later sections with lots of cool art, props, and historical artefacts, plus one of the few video rooms where i actually sat through the entire presentation (feat Aphex Twin, Ghostwatch, Radiohead, and more). they also screen the entirety of Derek Jarman's Blue!

strange clay @ hayward

i nearly missed this, i need to be less of a dunce about exhibits i want to see in 2023. many spectacular and inspiring* pieces from various artists but my highlight was the Lindsay Meyrick room with Till Death Do Us Part (1987) installation.

In Mendick's imagined household, which she has rendered from below-ground perspective, we encounter teeming groups of ceramic vermin: navy slugs are at war in the kitchen, an octopus erupts from the toilet, wasps and moths infest the hallway, spiders crawl through water pipes and cockroaches plan a cyber attack in the living room while mice and rats feast at the dining table. As it highlights the ambivalence and complexity of domestic relations, Mendick's tragicomic installation also reveals the irony and humour of situations that might otherwise be unbearable. 'Our houses are personal worlds - microcosms of hell, bliss, or loneliness,' the artists explains.

i'm reading: Gideon the Ninth. it's ok, a bit silly in places in that YA way and the cast is way too big (and multi-named) for me to follow very well in some scenes but i will get the other parts of the series.

i'm watching: Copenhagen Cowboy. classic NWR so far, in the best way possible.

i ate: finally visited Barbary (mostly because my haircut appointment was 1 minute down the road) and was not disappointed! quite pricy (single nan for £5 💀) but a treat should cost i suppose... i had the brussel sprouts, cauliflower, and the aforementioned nan with a spinach dip. i'd recommend the latter three if sticking to veg, altho maybe next time i'll just try different dips instead of going for mains. they only have bar seating around the kitchen which is not my favourite but did ensure super snappy service and really is ideal for solo dining.

next week

i'm going to see Tár, and maybe M3GAN (either it's getting a very limited release or some cinemas have not put it up yet).

dinner with pals at Berenjak. lunch with some of the team at Unity Diner. maybe another team lunch at Eataly.

first meeting of a Delivery Leadership peer group.

my pottery classes restart, and I have the first session (of 2) of mould making course.

more of trying to lift heavy things!! 😤

[jinxed-ninjago]

I literally never said that lol.

She is absolutely misguided, if she was just straight up evil she wouldn't have turned on the Overlord, who she basically sold her soul to by the way, because she realized he was the cause of all her pain and grief.

Harumi is unique among Ninjago villains. Look at how where she is at the end of the original 2011-2022 series vs Pythor, or Vangelis, or Aspheera, or even the Overlord himself. Of the villains who weren't reformed by the end of their own seasons, Harumi is the only one who actually gets reformed.

Also, did you read the original post? Did you see the part where I mentioned that Harumi needs to do some work and get some therapy before she can have a decent relationship with the ninja? Decent, not even healthy. You're right, she's not some uwu cute baby, and I NEVER said she was. I also never said she was a good person, I literally said she's "a fucking bitch" in the post you reblogged lmao.

Have you seen what people do when they're driven by grief, or when someone's experienced general traumatic experiences? Because it's warranted, trigger warnings for mentions of psychosis, murder, violent psychotic breaks, etc under the break.

Postpartum psychosis is a mental health condition that occurs in about 1 to 2 of every 1000 childbirths, and if there's evidence that a mother was suffering from it and she killed her newborn, it is not unheard of for her sentence to be shorter (specifically, the Infanticide Act in the UK allows for a mother who was experiencing postpartum psychosis to receive manslaughter charges instead of murder charges, which results in a shorter sentence).

I experienced a psychotic break in May of 2020 where I experienced both auditory and visual hallucinations. Since then I've had auditory hallucinations when there's silence or if I'm in the shower. Like I've basically been in a state of extended auditory psychosis for the past 3 (almost 4) years because of a single psychotic break and I have to be careful with needles because of that experience too, because if I'm reminded of that experience while I'm sewing I get the impulse to literally blind myself, to the point I have to stop sewing so I don't decide to blind myself with a sewing needle.

I still blame other people, not myself, for being forcefully put in a group home when I was 13. Do I see how I could be blamed? Definitely. But because of how things played out, and because that trauma isn't something I'm ready to work through yet, I'm not ready to take the blame, so I still blame other people, six years later.

I never see my mom. All I know about her is that she was/is an addict, manipulative, and just not a great person. I also know that she was dealing with potentially untreated mental illness, which puts it in a whole new light as someone who also dealt with untreated mental illness for the first 14 years of my life. My mom's untreated mental health issues don't excuse any trauma I (or my siblings or dad) might've experienced from my mom, just like my untreated mental health issues don't excuse any trauma my family experienced from me.

Traumatic experiences can (and will) lead people to dark places. Harumi is an extreme example, but she's still an example. No, what she did isn't okay, but it's also important to look at not just the what, but also the why. The why isn't an excuse; the why is the explanation.

If you hear that a man murdered someone, your first response is going to be "lock him up!!"

If you hear that same man murdered someone because that someone did something to his kid, your response is going to be "he was defending his kid, release him from prison!!"

In a similar vein, yes, Lloyd released the Great Devourer; but the Overlord is the one who apparently planned everything. This revelation has Harumi realizing she'd been going after the wrong person her entire life. The reason she was torturing Lloyd is because she thought Lloyd was the cause of her trauma. It doesn't excuse anything she did, but it does explain what she did. The what is Harumi's emotional torture; the why is because Harumi thought Lloyd was the cause of her parents' demise.

That was the whole point of the original post. Not excusing Harumi's actions throughout seasons 8, 9, and 15, but explaining them, because Crystalized offered that explanation. We know Lloyd wasn't at fault for releasing the Devourer, that was Pythor's doing. Crystalized offered an explanation for who was actually to blame, I just put it together in one post and analyzed it.

I stand by my belief that had Harumi known the Overlord was behind the entire thing from the beginning she wouldn't have turned out how she did, but as it stands, she didn't know and that's what led her down that horrifying, terrible, dark path that she went down.

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not. I think it is. But. Also spoilers for Crystalized.

Harumi was never truly evil in my opinion. At the absolute worst she was misguided.

Before Crystalized I probably wouldn’t have this opinion. HOWEVER.

This? This is someone who’s been misguided. This is someone who misinterpreted events. This is someone who realized she was seeking revenge on the wrong person. This is someone who was driven down a bad path because of grief and depression.

Harumi is not evil. She’s not a good person, but she’s not evil.

She manipulated Lloyd, yes. She abused Lloyd, yes. She committed crimes, yes. She indirectly murdered her adopted family, yes. But she did it because she was misguided. She believed Lloyd was at fault for her parents dying. Had she known the Overlord was behind all of it from the beginning, she wouldn’t have turned out how she did.

Harumi is a bad person. Terrible person even. She’s a fucking bitch. But she’s not evil, and I’ll die on that hill.

Now, what makes her not evil versus, say, Aspheera?

Harumi realized what she was doing was wrong and eventually changed sides because of it. Most of the other villains don’t do that. Harumi, after hearing that the Overlord possessed the Great Devourer, realized she’d made a huge fucking mistake. None of the other villains did that. Not even Killow and UV did that, they were basically like “wait if we let this happen that means we can’t commit crime anymore, SHIT” and helped save the world.

Harumi is a fascinating character to me. I don’t think she ever had necessarily bad intentions. I genuinely think she was doing what she thought was right, and when she realized what she was doing was actually wrong, she completely changed her attitude.

She has a lot of work to do to get on good terms with the ninja, but i think if she really really works at it and gets some therapy, she can successfully have a decent friendship with the ninja, because she’s not evil.

She’s just misguided.

[tenspontaneite]

*stares at Bloodmoon Huntress* hoo boy. Time for more piaj edits huh.

[wellntruly]

You possibly might or might not know, but in case you don't - there's a new (premiered this year) movie about Siegfried Sassoon called "Benediction". I haven't watched it and have no idea whether it's good. But it exists, so I thought you need to know.

Sincere apologies for the delay, I am actually still in the midst of a weeklong series of overnight guests, both family and friends, who all actually just invited themselves over. Left to my own choices I would not have in fact been looking for guests to come stay just yet at the place I only moved into about 1 month ago and am still in the deeply time-consuming and not yet fully unpacked process of trying to get set up, much less for eight consecutive days,

BUT BELIEVE YOU ME, have I still been keeping tabs on Benediction through all this!!

Because it had its world premiere at TIFF just at the start of this past selfsame week, so you are far from alone in having not seen it yet; no one has, only those who attended the festival in Toronto or are an accredited film journalist who was granted virtual screening access. We also, as far as I can tell, do not yet have a distributor outside of the UK market, much less release dates, and the possibility that this might be one of those movies that waits a year after festival premieres à la First Cow in 2019 seizes my heart.

Because Benediction, for anyone who is unaware, is a new work written & directed by the sad gay British filmmaker Terence Davies, who quietly ruined my life back in circa 2013 with the post-war Britain affair drama The Deep Blue Sea. Now he has turned his sights on sad gay shellshocked First World War poets Siegfried Sassoon & company, Noted Interest Of the Blog, and from what I have cautiously, delicately picked up from tweets and review headlines from a handful of trusted sad gay film critics, it is: sad and gay!

Also I've saved this for last but Sassoon's kind psychologist at Craiglockhart, Dr. Rivers, whom you will know well if you've read Pat Barker's Regeneration trilogy, is played in this film titled Benediction by sad gay The Exorcist priest and love of my life Ben Daniels, something so overwhelming to consider that I can't really, I just have this wrapped up in some soft wool and stored in a safe nook in my ribcage.

And that's where we're at re: Benediction, presently!

[experiment-000]

My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.