#I've just been away for a while !
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the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#hera w359#art#id in alt text#i've been holding onto this one for a little while. for no particular reason i just wanted to.#but here it is#thank you so so much!!#incredible eye for detail as always and i'm obsessed with how you draw people. and also. everything#this is such a good eiffel. the circle kind of suggesting a helmet worked out so well. the way you did the star!! the glitch effects!!#the use of an actual sound clip and the heart monitor through it and all of it through his chest. genius to me.#and this ended up leaning more in the direction of eiffel's general repeated misfortune but i also really love the element of#eiffel and hera both being prisoners treated as test subjects. i like how it can read as much like him being pulled away as falling.#and with the soundwave and communication as a bridge and that specific clip from mayday and hera being the voice in his head that saves him#etc. etc. i love it thank you so much again!! <3
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Side effects of wearing your sentient Kaiju suit too often ,,,,
#hoshina soshiro#kn8#kaiju no. 8#my art#kaiju no 10#hoshi10#FINALLY I GOT TO DRAW BODYMERGE HOSHI10#this is my favourite form of existence for them my brain is spinninnggggg#it's so sexy to me to imagine hoshina trying to take off the suit and he just can't get it off without peeling his own skin off shcjsnfjs#10 so pleased with this situation#hoshina panic but also he cant tell anyone becazse then they'd definitely take 10 away from him#and we don't want that#brain spinning so hsrd i hope he curls up in his room and hides while the suit slowly merges ro his body#until one of his boyfriends finds him ofc hhhhh#rushing him to medical but they can't change him back to human anymore#can you see I've been thinking about this ancjsixbsia#I'll see myself out
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As cameras becomes more normalized (Sarah Bernhardt encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use cameras because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by manufacturing companies. I paint not because I want a painting but because I love the process of painting. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
if i have to explain to you that using a camera to take a picture is not the same as using generative ai to generate an image then you are a fucking moron.
#ask me#anon#no more patience for this#i've heard this for the past 2 years#“an object created and controlled by companies” anon the company cannot barge into your home and take your camera away#or randomly change how it works on a whim. you OWN the camera that's the whole POINT#the entire point of a camera is that i can control it and my body to produce art. photography is one of the most PHYSICAL forms of artmakin#you have to communicate with your space and subjects and be conscious of your position in a physical world.#that's what makes a camera a tool. generative ai (if used wholesale) is not a tool because it's not an implement that helps you#do a task. it just does the task for you. you wouldn't call a microwave a “tool”#but most importantly a camera captures a REPRESENTATION of reality. it captures a specific irreproducible moment and all its data#read Roland Barthes: Studium & Punctum#generative ai creates an algorithmic IMITATION of reality. it isn't truth. it's the average of truths.#while conceptually that's interesting (if we wanna get into media theory) but that alone should tell you why a camera and ai aren't the sam#ai is incomparable to all previous mediums of art because no medium has ever solely relied on generative automation for its creation#no medium of art has also been so thoroughly constructed to be merged into online digital surveillance capitalism#so reliant on the collection and commodification of personal information for production#if you think using a camera is “automation” you have worms in your brain and you need to see a doctor#if you continue to deny that ai is an apparatus of tech capitalism and is being weaponized against you the consumer you're delusional#the fact that SO many tumblr lefists are ready to defend ai while talking about smashing the surveillance state is baffling to me#and their defense is always “well i don't engage in systems that would make me vulnerable to ai so if you own an apple phone that's on you”#you aren't a communist you're just self-centered
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note to self that i will surely forget because this isn't the first time i've done this and it definitely won't be the last:
maybe don't do line art on an empty stomach
(don't worry, i ate)
(AFTER i finished the line art)
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#does anyone else feel that when you draw?#just complete obliviousness to bodily needs#and then it all comes crashing down on you the moment you put pen down?#is that what the flow state is?#i should start setting a timer for regular breaks#i've been slowly working away at this all day#between work and chipping away at a fic while waiting for paint to dry#i'll finish it tomorrow
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spirk using telepathy to keep each other alive. kirk, desperate, psy-null and untrained, reaching clumsily into spock's dying mind and pulling, dragging spock's essence into himself, wrenching him forceably from the very jaws of death and holding him there through sheer strength of will, saying you can't die, i won't let you, you can't leave me, i need you, and binding him to life and to himself until it's impossible to fully separate them. spock, more skilled, carefully managing each one of kirk's vital signs - keeping his heart beating steady, his lungs drawing breath, his temperature within a safe range, all while suppressing kirk's pain, and at the same trying, vainly, to keep their minds from tying themselves inexorably together, but they're pressed too close and he can't, and he hopes that kirk will forgive him, for bonding them like this (he will, of course he will), but the alternative, letting kirk die, was - unthinkable.
#no matter which direction it goes the one who formed the bond feels so guilty about it because That's Marriage & they never got permission#and the other just looks at them and says “i would have married you the day we met if you'd only asked”#it works both ways because they are both so stupidly down bad#i think there's a special sort of devastation with telepathy like this because If They Fail - they have to feel the life drain away#you tie yourself to them and you know that if it doesn't work. if they die. it will feel like your soul has been torn from you#because you're in love! and in order to save them you've taken them into yourself and given yourself over to them#so when they die - they take you too. maybe not ALL of you but certainly part. neither one can die without tearing the other to shreds now#star trek#star trek tos#tos#spirk#james t kirk#spock#jim kirk#k/s#tbh i've got a fic (SLOWLY) cooking which features spock desperately holding kirk to life while bones (panicked) operates on him#(w/ some mcspirk vibes because bones is afraid that if he loses kirk he'll lose spock too but spock refuses to let go)#but i'm such a slow writer so. in the meantime here's this
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experimenting w making little trek dolls for the STLV craft swap :))
#sisko first bc idk how I'm gonna make hair LMAO but isn't he so cute??#made the doll a while ago but I just made his little outfit today and yesterday :))#hopefully giving them away for free means no one will mind the shoddy craftsmanship lmao#I think I've set a new record for terrible hand sewing. and there's raw edges on the inside. and none of the thread is the right color#but WHO CARES HES SO CUTE!!!!#it's the early ds9 uniform bc I've been watching voy and I'm sooo enamored with their uniforms ugh I need to make an actual life size one#watching voyager will have u saying things like. surely it can't be that hard to sew an invisible zipper??#anyways. need to figure out how to make hair so I can make characters other than him and picard 💀💀#ds9#star trek#benjamin sisko#deep space nine#captain sisko#narcissus's echoes#narcissus plays dress up#(?)
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Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)
But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:
'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'
What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:
Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.
Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:
'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'
But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.
Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:
'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'
Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.
Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:
'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'
Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.
So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:
'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'
Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.
So, what do I make of the line?
Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.
While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.
I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...
In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.
So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.
Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.
Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!
#mr darcy#pride and prejudice#jane austen#elizabeth bennet#colonel fitzwilliam#mr wickham#my analysis#nd things#let darcy be flawed you cowards#<- but we don't necessarily need to pathologise him lol#now i'll whisper quietly in the tags lest the ableist sections of the austen fandom tear me limb from limb#(not saying EVERYONE who disagrees with nd readings of some of darcy's behaviour is ableist just some ways it's countered are... Not Great)#that i don't actually MIND nd!darcy headcanons when done WITHOUT a view to excusing his behaviour#and being clear that it is NOT what the author intended but. autistic boys get away with murder even today so it isn't hard to imagine that#especially with someone with as much wealth and status as darcy... his worst traits could've gone unchecked for so long#but he main reason i don't inherently have an issue with nd!darcy is because nd people existed back then but we weren't accommodated#i get that if he was nd there is an argument the narrative is just about him learning to mask but... a) the concept of masking didn't exist#and b) if he was a woman he'd have had to do it long before 28 sooooo. let the big boy face consequences for his actions!#i think there's something in darcy interpreting his fathers advice so literally with no room for nuance#that it leads him down that path of conceit when he's not actually a bad man at his core and never has been#bc that's very black and white thinking which makes me wonder... but on the whole i'm not sure#i'm not saying either way and ultimately it doesn't matter but it's fun to consider#within reason ofc... it's comforting to see evidence of autism in classics it's one of my FAVE things#but not sure darcy is the best example of this#if you want autistic characters in p&p mr collins and mary are RIGHT THERE lmao#but perhaps they are even worse representation so maybe not lmao#anyway wanted to make this post for a while and the Words came to me today so yay#also i didn't mention adaptations but they don't help... especially A Certain One but i've moaned enough about it for one week#and not in a fun way
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been tux painting that mob psycho
#i drew something#i love those silly brushes in tux paint . I think i'll be drawing here more. also bc in serious programs i haven't been able to draw a line#idk tryin to make smth ''good' has made drawing a lot more draining than it's supposed to be and the results weren't even +#anyting i could be proud of. So lately i've just been trying to have fun creating things again#I don't think i'll be posting anything super rendered finished or detailed for a while. I just wanna get comfortable with drawing again man#so using silly programs like this one that make noises whenever you use a brush and that are really limited do help +#a lot to take away that pressure +#that i've started to relate to it and just remind myself that this is smth I do bc it makes me happy yk#man i love rambling in the tags#mob psycho#mob psycho fanart#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 shigeo#mp100 fanart#mp100 ekubo#ekubo#mp100 dimple#teruki hanazawa#shigeo kageyama#dimple#mp100 teruki
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Team VIP
A cat crew coming to you sometime not Soon™
#pokemon#pkmn#art#pkmnart#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#purrloin#zeraora#floragato#pmd ocs#(oc) vex#(oc) ion#(oc) poppy#(oc) team vip#wanted to practice some monochrome and i guess these three just ended up as the focus of it - been meaning to reveal the team for a while#it was actually not planned for all of these three to be cats but it kinda happened so we're rolling with it#i also don't know how much of a surprise it is that vex is here but she is!#been meaning to bring her back into a proper setting after her old one kinda. fell apart#but i've been planning a lot with these three! can't give away everything obviously but if yall are interested send any questions my way o7
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no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#eye strain#heiji hattori#harley hartwell#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#funimation english dub script#video#happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'!#while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?)#it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real#it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺#and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up'#but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project#it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster!#which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results!#to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio#video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds#but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now#but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!)#i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten#and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it!#thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333#like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3#but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522#and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol#the song is 'you're stupid aren't you' by toshio masuda (from jubei-chan 2)
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(Very) belated Mitsuru birthday!
#p3#persona 3#p3 fanart#persona 3 fanart#mitsuru kirijo#my art#oh my it was nearly a month ago...#hope you like this nonetheless TToTT#since i've been trying to incorporate multiple characters into these p3 birthday drawings#i wanted to include someone important to mitsuru (that wasn't a sees member)#i ultimately selected her father because he was the reason she decided to take on as much responsibility as she did#i snuck him into her hair partially as a reference to the kirijo group experiment animation from fes 😼#mitsuru is so cool... i love her...#i think her tendency to place the onus of the school sees etc on herself is compelling#she acts out of devotion and duty which is why her connections with others are so important#i haven't played kotone's route yet (unfortunately) but from minato's social link with her#i thought her exploration of “normal” people activities and desires was interesting#like she shouldn't have to constantly be on duty and away from others as her father was (despite it being out of care)#she can enjoy life alongside other people too!#that's also why her relationship with yukari is so important (i can talk all day about it!!!)#but yeah yay mitsuru!!#as an aside i was listening to the crane wives while i was drawing this#and honestly! crane wives music is so mitsurucore imo#just listen and experience! you'll understand :D
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vierapril days 7 (privacy) and 8 (weakness)
#very jarring for me after day 5 whoops#anyway. some end of 6.0 thoughts-!#warrior of light#Ardbert#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#it's kind of a bite sized part of something i've been rotating in my mind for a while#where wol slinks away during a party because he ends up on the verge of a panic attack because he lost sight of ardbert for a moment#and it's basically what happened when zenos found him when they were making their way back to ragnarok#and he Knows it's irrational and not a big deal and YET#(though it's just a symptom of the larger problem he's gonna have to face post-6.0)#he's usually not the kind of person who wants to hide his feelings but everyone is so happy and relieved and he doesn't quite know#how to voice what's going on with him#but luckily he's got a cotank <3
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Love.
<previous - next>
#FFXIV#FinalFantasyXIV#Erenvahl#wolship#WoL x Erenville#X'vahl Tia#Erenville#Dawntrail spoilers#7.0 spoilers#AHHHHHHH!#So much to say about this one omg#so first of all *THIS* is the one I've been so excited about since I finished 7.0#X'vahl's 'I'm not leaving you' line is a direct callback to when Erenville told *him* that waaaaaay back in part 20 in the pre-DT days#(let me tell you the moment I realized that I could make that callback I think I just about fell out of my chair with excitement lol)#I've also been so careful not to have the word 'love' appear at all up until this point#(even in Yak T'el they canonically didn't say 'love' out loud.#X'vahl is one of those people who is very careful about who and when he uses that word with in a romantic context).#it is however something that X'vahl has known for a while but he's been too afraid to say out loud up until this exact moment.#He was so scared that as soon as he said it out loud there would be no going back#but there's been no going back for him for a while now and he's known it but he had to work up the courage to actually admit it to himself.#Also I'm aware that there's a good chance they'll be taking Erenville away from us shortly#and while X'vahl may be called away for WoL business#he will always return to Erenville#so the promise is more a vow that the love is there and it's not going anywhere no matter how physically far they might be from one another#Erenville is so far beyond giving a shit that the other three are there watching this whole scene unfold#like they are just not registering in his brain at the moment#a couple of these shots are from waaaaaay back when I was doing testing shots for this scene#and I'm so glad that they seem to seamlessly fit in with the newer ones. :')#Also looooool not me listening to Utada Hikaru's 'Don't Think Twice' on repeat while posing and editing this.
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Dick had many soulmarks.
Not as many as someone would've thought, probably, with the amount of friends that he had, but still many. They adorned his forearm like jewelry, circling around his skin in intricate patterns. Every single one of them just as beautiful as the other, just like the people they belonged to. Dick thought every single one of them as a blessing.
He had done so especially after the first two had faded away.
They were still there, of course. Nothing could ever truly erase a mark on someone's soul, after all. Not even death. Dick would've been even more devastated if the marks would've disappeared with his parents, even if sometimes looking at the now liveless marks hurt.
They had hurt, physically, when it had happened. When the bodies had hit the ground and Dick's heart had been ripped into pieces, the marks had burned, searing hot white pain latching onto him, pulling at his skin the same as his heart.
Not that Dick had really noticed it, then. He had been hurting too much otherwise to really care about it in the moment.
He had latched onto every new mark with all of his heart afterwards. It had hurt, when Bruce's had appeared, as it made the white, faded color of his parents' marks stand out even more, but the joy had been enough to chase the hurt away. Alfred's had not hurt nearly as much, and with his friends, he had simply been happy.
Dick would've never said it out loud, but he did have favorites. His parents', even faded. He didn't think anyone would blame him for that one. Bruce's, in a sense, as it had been the first live one he had gained.
His absolute favorite, though?
Jason's.
Jason was...different. He wasn't his parents, nor was he his caretaker. He had no obligations to Dick, even if obligations did not really affect the formation of the marks. He wasn't Dick's friend, either, not the same way anyone in the team was.
He was Dick's little brother.
And Dick would've given him the world.
Jason had been ecstatic when the marks had appeared, and, to be perfectly honest, so had Dick. They were such beautiful marks too, the lines twisting around themselves to form images of wings in flight, shining when light hit them just right, every new angle bringing out a new detail.
"Birds of a feather, right?" Dick had said, grinning wildly. "That's what we are, Little Wing, and the marks know it."
He had ruffled Jason's hair, and Jason had grinned back at him, and for that moment, Dick had been able to forget everything else. No argument or hurt had mattered even in the slightest.
It had just been Dick and Jason, in their own world, one that was only for them.
---
Dick was exhausted.
In a good way, for once. If there was a good way to be exhausted. Maybe saying that he was exhausted in a better way was more correct. No one was hurt too badly, and the day had been more or less a success. All things considered, at the very least.
He missed home. It was maybe a stupid thing to say, Dick knew that so many people back home would've given everything to go to space, but Dick was tired. He was tired of being the leader, tired of seeing his friends get hurt, tired of failing in some way every single day.
He missed home. Even if things with Bruce were not perfect, everything was still much simpler back at the Manor, at least compared to this. Alfred would be there, with his gentle yet firm words and reassurances, and Bruce, even when Dick wanted to mostly scream at him, was still a familiar presence in a familiar space.
Jason would be there, too, talking Dick's ear off, making the house lived in, making it feel like an actual home.
Dick just wanted this whole thing to be over already, if he was being completely honest. Today had been a good day, all things considered, and all Dick wanted to do was to faceplant on his bed and sleep without too many worried for once. Sleep and hope that it would bring him closer to getting back home.
Of course, he couldn't do that, not just yet. Even if no one was hurt too badly, he needed to make sure that everything was in order, make sure that they had all they needed, make sure-
One moment he was thinking about all the things he needed to still do, and the next he was on the ground on his hands and knees, being torn to pieces and burned alive.
There were voices around him. Someone was touching him, hands warm on his skin, tilting his face up, but Dick couldn't see who it was. His heart was beating erratically, like it was trying to tear itself to shreds and out of its place. It burned, searing hot, white pain, that had turned him into a human torch.
Distantly, Dick knew that he already knew this pain.
He got a breath in to his burning lungs. Then another one. He was still on fire, but he could see again.
Kory was right in front of him, holding his head. Dick was mostly on the ground, now, laying on his side, only barely holding himself on his elbows.
He had no idea when he had gotten there.
Kory seemed to notice that he had come back to himself. Her face relaxed ever so slightly as his eyes met hers.
"Dick?" She asked. Her voice was low, and she was clearly trying to keep it soft, but it was still pinched with worry, just like her eyes. "Are you alright?"
Dick didn't know what to say to her.
He knew he wasn't injured, not badly at least. He knew that, but he didn't feel alright, not in the slightest.
The pain was still there, curling around the edges of him, his skin feeling like embers that were still smoldering, even though the fire had gone away. He couldn't feel his arm properly, and Dick wondered if something had-
Suddenly he felt cold.
He pushed himself up, ignoring how shaky he felt. He almost fell down again, and Kory tried to put her hands on him, maybe to push him back down or to help him up. Dick didn't know, and he didn't have the time to stop and figure it out.
His suit was on the way. Dick tugged at it, then dug his teeth on the sleeve and ripped the seam open with force he hadn't known he possessed in his jaws, and he dug his fingers in it again and continued ripping the sleeve off of his skin.
There were voices around him again, someone's hands on his shoulders, but Dick didn't pay any attention to any of it. He needed to get it off, he needed to get it off, so he could see, he needed to get it off so he could see-
Jason's mark was gone.
It had been between Bruce's and Alfred's, golden and warm and brilliant, wings in flight, and it was gone.
Dick tilted his arm, tried to catch it in light, like he had done before, to make it shine like it always had, and-
It was there.
It was still there.
Faded.
White.
Dead.
Just like his parents.
The fire burned again where his heart should've been, freezing cold, hollowing him out from the inside.
The world disappeared from around him as Dick screamed.
#hey so I haven't written anything in a long time so why not come back with a banger eh#I've been reading a lot of soulmark au's for some reason and a lot of them focus on when jason's mark would come back suddenly#and I had a thought of hm. dick was in space when jason died. how terrible would it be if dick just suddenly lost the mark when up there#without knowing what had happened other than that jason was gone#while he was far away from home#how terrible that would be indeed :)#dc#my writing#my fics#DC writing#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Nightwing#Jaybin#batman#batfam#dc fics
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moth-flowers #21
#moth flowers#comics#my art#blood cw#autobio comics#pen and ink#Made this one a few months ago a little after we first made out and i was lowkey getting rlly obsessive and it sucked ass#Like recognizing its infatuation doesn't make it go away as it turns out ToT#Anyways. we were fwb for a while and it was cool n chill then they ended it. and i thought i was cool n chill and over it but SIKE#They get a BF and I am consumed by an overwhelming amount of the Jealousy Beast and overall lots of Big Emotions.#That was what the 'dyke drama' post was about btw#Its been a few days I'm doing a lot better and I'm greatful for that. lotta help from my friends by just hangin' out and talking and asking#For their opinions n shit. been pretty good. made a cake and it fucks and im so sexy for that actually#Like damn the person who was lowkey my ideal partner told me they weren't in a place for commitment#And then they get into a commitment. and although i know it realistically wouldn't have worked out in the long-run (I'll b moving. they def#aren't) I was still fucked up about. But I bet I'm a better cook than him. and also sexier and cooler#(IM ACTUALLY FRIENDS WITH THE GUY AND HE'S PRETTY COOL BUT ALSO LIKE. LET ME BE A PETTY I THINK I'VE EARNED IT)#Annnnywayssss. This is lowkey one of my fav comics i think :D i mean i feel that way about most of them.#But i REALLY like the way the perspective n stuff turned out. like ough fuck yeah#And i make references to the last line all the time with friends that I've shown this to.#ramble in the tags#Thank u to whoever is reading this. pls share ur thoughts and experiences! connection and shit is one of my fave parts of this <3
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i realized that out of the Many pokemon n uses across the two games, none of them are friendship evos. like you'd Think that'd be an easy thing to do with him because putting friendship evos on an antagonist's team to show they're actually nice aside from whatever villainy they're doing is an established thing in pokemon, and it would contrast with ghetsis's frustration hydreigon nicely
but really, it makes sense n wouldn't have any because friendship levels take time to build up. n would ask for help once, and then let the pokemon go, believing it was best for them. but as he learned, pokemon like being with humans. he released them so quickly none of his pokemon would ever have gotten the chance to really connect with him.
and isnt that ironic? the man who connects with pokemon on a deeper level than anyone else probably had less close pokemon friends at the time of bw1 than your average trainer. i'd guess it was just his zoroark at the time. do you think any of those pokemon were upset with him after being released so quickly? i'm sure pokemon are aware being captured can be a lifelong commitment, so being caught and released within an hour or two might not exactly sit well. like sure he probably told them what his intentions were but do you think any of them wished this strange new friend had stuck around a little longer?
#clai speaks#this is an angle i've been considering for a while i was even planning an animatic on the topic#but i hadnt considered this specific thing about having no friendship evos because he just never let any of them stay long enough#i dont think n would have liked sending them away either really. he was literally raised by pokemon for a few years#i'm sure somewhere he misses the company but his goal is separating the worlds of humans and pokemon. he cant get sentimental#clai rambles
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