#I've got MORE in the brain
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walkingstackofbooks · 5 months ago
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A 9-year-old Julian Bashir who has had nightmares about evil doctors in an alien hospital for as long as he can remember. He doesn't tell his parents though because "he's a big boy now" and nightmares are for little kids, so he knows he should deal with them alone. And even if he'd like a hug sometimes, his mum only gives him hugs for doing well, not for doing badly, so he figures there's no point bothering her
A 15-year-old Julian Bashir who realises that the nightmares he used to have were based on the apparently very real alien hospital his parents had taken him to as a kid, and spends hours trying to figure out what were real memories and what his mind had made up over the years as he slept. The nightmares come back with an intensity, but they're nothing compared with how he's feeling when he's awake, and pretty soon they become a normal background noise of his life.
A 19-year-old Julian Bashir who's finally been moved into a solitary room after his third roommate in as many weeks complained about the almost-nightly screams. His advisor asks if he wants to speak to anyone: he claims they're just night terrors and he doesn't actually remember them. Besides, even if he could talk about what was in them, he probably wouldn't, because he's fine - he's used to them by now.
A 24-year-old Julian Bashir who gets woken from his nightmares by warm hands and gentle kisses, and learns what is like to be soothed back to sleep by the soft voice of Palis Delon
A 32-year-old Julian Bashir who has a different nightmare every night. The last year's been difficult. But then, it's been difficult for everyone, and he knows he's far from the only one to be suffering from nightmares at the moment.
A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who can't stop dreaming about the torture he went through four weeks ago, who's missing Ezri and who Miles is increasingly concerned about. When the O'Briens offer him their spare room for a while, he warns them multiple times about his nightmares, and is pathetically grateful when that doesn't change their minds. "We have nightmares too, Julian," says Keiko. "We can cope with yours."
A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who is confused when, three days later, Miles remarks, "You are having a bad run of those nightmares, aren't you?"
"They've been better than usual, actually," he replies awkwardly. "It's been really nice being able to go back to sleep afterwards, for once -- you and Keiko have been so generous in coming and checking on me."
"Course we're gonna come and check on you," says Miles gruffly. "You woke up terrified. We're not letting you do that alone."
"I'd be fine, Miles," Julian reassures. "I'm hardly going to expect one of you to come in every night."
Miles pauses. "...How long are you expecting to have them 'every night' for?" he asks, with some concern. "I mean, after a thing like this, how long does it usually take them to settle down?"
Julian stares at Miles. "I... have nightmares, Miles," he replies, frowning. "Just like you. Nightmares happen every night."
"No, they don't," says Miles, equally confused. "Don't get me wrong, they can do: after something big then sure, they're like that for a few weeks - a couple of months, even. But eventually they fall down to once, twice a week..."
Julian is looking at Miles incredulously. "That might be how it works for you," he says. "I guess my brain's different to yours. Mine don't stop, they just... mix. Change. Get confused with one another, eventually. I've had more dreams about being genetically modified by Sloan in the Dominion camp than I care to remember, you know?"
Miles' concern has turned into abject dismay. "You're saying you've had nightmares every single night since the Dominion took you?" he exclaims.
"Well, maybe not every single night!" retorts Julian, a little unsure what Miles is getting so het up about. "I do have some days when I don't... But yeah, pretty much. I've had nightmares most nights since I was fifteen, it's just how my brain processes stuff."
"Fifteen?"
...
A 34-year-old Julian who finds out that having nightmares every night for two decades is, apparently, "not normal" and something he should be seeking help for.
If Ezri comes back alive, he supposes he might take it up with her.
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cangrellesteponme · 10 months ago
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wife
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bizarrelittlemew · 1 year ago
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
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collophora · 8 months ago
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Building Bridges by @maidenvault Found this fic again In my saved ebooks so I couldn't resist. Short fic I like a lot for portraying the "boys being boys" vibe of the early batch XD (I didn't draw the funniest parts 'cause my brain focused on the end but read it.)
Small spoiler for the end under cut
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holographings · 11 months ago
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happy valentines day may all your love be monstrous and uncontainable
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thekittyokat · 9 months ago
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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countthelions · 7 months ago
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"[..] but they’re not Etho. They can’t be.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because Etho never left my side.”
[the curse of deepfrost, ch14] by @capriciouswriter207
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sleepinglionhearts · 7 months ago
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The beach! The beach! There's lots of stuff to find at the beach! 🪨 🐚 🏖
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plutonious · 1 month ago
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experimentation is forever and ever and emmet is guinea pig
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muttmedley · 1 year ago
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thinking abt them sitting in my lap, riding me...
my lips on their lips, their jaw, their neck...
my hands wandering their body, trailing up their thighs to their waist, to their ribs, and back down to their hips...
holding them down as i grind up against them, both of us moaning and gasping at it all
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silvers-starrway · 9 months ago
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Rendered some older sketches now that Silver and Nine have designs! Go check out the lineup done by @cherbearsz as Knuckles, Rouge and Whisper are there too!!
I have much more of this au I need to get posted but I'm really happy with how these renders turned out so have them for now. Finished vs initial sketch comparison for the S drawing below the cut bc I think it's neat!
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icewindandboringhorror · 22 days ago
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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mathildejr · 1 year ago
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going back to gouache after about 10 years of leaving it alone 👀 here's Mariam as a kid
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cecoeur · 9 days ago
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I should've taken more photos | Singapore 2024
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#i'm sure someone on tiktok has already done this but i'm staying far the hell away from those#and this is where i put all my daniel ricciardo brain rot and sadness so it's just going to have to live here#obviously i've been thinking a lot about daniel and this song like all the dirlies#but i was in my car listening today and i thought about how he should've gotten to take more photos of his last race#that he didn't pull out his camera until the last minute just in case this was it just so he'd have *something*#and so he didn't get to take photos of all the moments he may have wanted to or of people he may have wanted to#didn't get to take photos with his family#doesn't get to have those memories. didn't get to document each and every moment.#but then thought about the photos that he did take (or blake took) and that he chose to share#that these small moments were important to him and he wanted to remember them#and celebrate the people and the time and the importance of them regardless of how average they seem#he didn't get to capture more memories of that last race in photos#but he got these moments and he knew appreciated them for what they were and what they meant in a 13 year career#it's almost fitting in a weird way that he didn't get a bunch of flashy happy professional photos of his last race#but instead got the kind of photos where you can viscerally feel the love these people had for him and that he had for them in return#these photos remain incredibly hurtful and beautiful in their simplicity
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raptorrobot · 2 months ago
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was listening to the elden ring (+sote) ost on my 8hr bus trip last night and i cannot express how terrible of an idea that was . its was all gorgeous ambience and whatnot that lulled me into a slumber of false security and then i got activated into the waking world like a fucking sleeper agent when i heard malenia's phase 2 music kick into my ears
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago
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Have you watched Dungeon Meshi yet? I feel like you would LOVE dungeon meshi (see also: I think it would give you obsessive brain rot)
I uh... um... yeah I like Dungeon Meshi a normal amount.
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