#I've got MORE in the brain
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A 9-year-old Julian Bashir who has had nightmares about evil doctors in an alien hospital for as long as he can remember. He doesn't tell his parents though because "he's a big boy now" and nightmares are for little kids, so he knows he should deal with them alone. And even if he'd like a hug sometimes, his mum only gives him hugs for doing well, not for doing badly, so he figures there's no point bothering her
A 15-year-old Julian Bashir who realises that the nightmares he used to have were based on the apparently very real alien hospital his parents had taken him to as a kid, and spends hours trying to figure out what were real memories and what his mind had made up over the years as he slept. The nightmares come back with an intensity, but they're nothing compared with how he's feeling when he's awake, and pretty soon they become a normal background noise of his life.
A 19-year-old Julian Bashir who's finally been moved into a solitary room after his third roommate in as many weeks complained about the almost-nightly screams. His advisor asks if he wants to speak to anyone: he claims they're just night terrors and he doesn't actually remember them. Besides, even if he could talk about what was in them, he probably wouldn't, because he's fine - he's used to them by now.
A 24-year-old Julian Bashir who gets woken from his nightmares by warm hands and gentle kisses, and learns what is like to be soothed back to sleep by the soft voice of Palis Delon
A 32-year-old Julian Bashir who has a different nightmare every night. The last year's been difficult. But then, it's been difficult for everyone, and he knows he's far from the only one to be suffering from nightmares at the moment.
A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who can't stop dreaming about the torture he went through four weeks ago, who's missing Ezri and who Miles is increasingly concerned about. When the O'Briens offer him their spare room for a while, he warns them multiple times about his nightmares, and is pathetically grateful when that doesn't change their minds. "We have nightmares too, Julian," says Keiko. "We can cope with yours."
A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who is confused when, three days later, Miles remarks, "You are having a bad run of those nightmares, aren't you?"
"They've been better than usual, actually," he replies awkwardly. "It's been really nice being able to go back to sleep afterwards, for once -- you and Keiko have been so generous in coming and checking on me."
"Course we're gonna come and check on you," says Miles gruffly. "You woke up terrified. We're not letting you do that alone."
"I'd be fine, Miles," Julian reassures. "I'm hardly going to expect one of you to come in every night."
Miles pauses. "...How long are you expecting to have them 'every night' for?" he asks, with some concern. "I mean, after a thing like this, how long does it usually take them to settle down?"
Julian stares at Miles. "I... have nightmares, Miles," he replies, frowning. "Just like you. Nightmares happen every night."
"No, they don't," says Miles, equally confused. "Don't get me wrong, they can do: after something big then sure, they're like that for a few weeks - a couple of months, even. But eventually they fall down to once, twice a week..."
Julian is looking at Miles incredulously. "That might be how it works for you," he says. "I guess my brain's different to yours. Mine don't stop, they just... mix. Change. Get confused with one another, eventually. I've had more dreams about being genetically modified by Sloan in the Dominion camp than I care to remember, you know?"
Miles' concern has turned into abject dismay. "You're saying you've had nightmares every single night since the Dominion took you?" he exclaims.
"Well, maybe not every single night!" retorts Julian, a little unsure what Miles is getting so het up about. "I do have some days when I don't... But yeah, pretty much. I've had nightmares most nights since I was fifteen, it's just how my brain processes stuff."
"Fifteen?"
...
A 34-year-old Julian who finds out that having nightmares every night for two decades is, apparently, "not normal" and something he should be seeking help for.
If Ezri comes back alive, he supposes he might take it up with her.
#Julian Bashir#Fic ideas#Although this has kind of become something of a ficlet in and of itself#I've got MORE in the brain#But now's not the time to start new fic#So... I wrote this instead#Which was supposed to be short 😅#Only took me an hour to write oops#Andi writes#My trek musings#wsb
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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Building Bridges by @maidenvault Found this fic again In my saved ebooks so I couldn't resist. Short fic I like a lot for portraying the "boys being boys" vibe of the early batch XD (I didn't draw the funniest parts 'cause my brain focused on the end but read it.)
Small spoiler for the end under cut
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#I wanted to draw more for it but I need to stop I've got stuff to do#But know I'm frustrated to be unable to storyboard everything#anyway#okay I posted for the month time to log off for a year now#yeah I know the picture 4 and 5 are the same but well my animation brain was locked#I need to draw layout or I die
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happy valentines day may all your love be monstrous and uncontainable
#almost done with my dmmd playthru again. yippee#my bf's big beautiful brain got him into med school so now he's stuck studying while im stuck drawing ppl eating each other. happy v day#dmmd#dramatical murder#someone commission me to draw more of these fucks i love drawing them but i cant justify doing it more bc#there's something else i have to be working on that ppl are actually paying me for lol#aoba seragaki#ren#fanart#artists on tumblr#tw gore#tw blood#i've been on here so long i dont even know how tws work anymore sorry. avert ur eyes
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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"[..] but they’re not Etho. They can’t be.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because Etho never left my side.”
[the curse of deepfrost, ch14] by @capriciouswriter207
#JUST HAD TO DRAW !! THE B E ST REVEAL EVER#i couldn't get the image out of my BRAIN#first time drawing an etho whop#can u tell who my favorite etho version is?#spoilers it's yago's <3#BUT YEAH !! THIS FIC !! SOOOOOO GOOD#PLEASE read it#ethoslab#hermitcraft#decked out 2#etho#hermitcraft etho#lionsart#(i've got one more idea brewing but i might animate it so we'LL SEE)
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The beach! The beach! There's lots of stuff to find at the beach! 🪨 🐚 🏖
#doodles#pokemon art tag#pokemon#steven stone#gym leader roark#cranidos#aron#just restarted omega ruby so I've obviously got pokemon on the brain#and there's steven and I'm like. ok. time to draw the boys#i haven't drawn much these last few weeks so this was so so so fun!!#i hope the momentum keeps up wnd tbh i want to draw more of these two ehehe#put more ideas to paper#write something silly#something cute...#anyway there we go have some nice beach doodles#they're out in that area north of Dewford having a nice time in the water before heading down into that cave#on a nice date...
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experimentation is forever and ever and emmet is guinea pig
#still working with colors. I need to eat a ball of light#MAGMA SAVE ME. SAVE ME PERSONAL MAGMA CANVAS#I find magma a lot less stressful to try stuff on tbh. it's probbaly because of how their brushes feel#I TECHNICALLY can somewhat emulate it in my main drawing program. but magma just has such a nice feel#anyways. shrug. I like emmet a loADUGHSADO TAGS CANCELLED I HGAVE THE HICCUPS. GOD HATES ME#GOD WANTS ME DEAD. THIS IS TRHE WORST. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT HTE FUCK MAN. STOP HICCUPING. STOPPPP#AOOAUAUUUAGUUAUHHUHUHAUUGUAHHUAUHHHGHHUHUGUUHAG#glances around. are you okay now. did you stop hiccuping.#OKAY I THINK WE"RE GOOD. thank god#spenxer lou art#submas#pokemon submas#submas emmet#subway boss emmet#subway master emmet#subway bosses#btw the main stuff I've been working now is color gradients and saturation in shading / the affect colored outlines have. shrug#basically I stared at bluebellowls art too long and got mad enough to give myself a stomach ache <- can't make this shit up#uhmm. rubs brain. ???? I don't know what else to say. I've been improving sooooooo much but my hunger is insatiable. me want more
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thinking abt them sitting in my lap, riding me...
my lips on their lips, their jaw, their neck...
my hands wandering their body, trailing up their thighs to their waist, to their ribs, and back down to their hips...
holding them down as i grind up against them, both of us moaning and gasping at it all
#that's it that's all i've got#nvm my brain is finding ways to make this more poetic now but i don't really have the energy for it to become a whole thing#i'll save it for another time lol#queer nsft#queer ns/fw#trans nsft#trans ns/fw#t4t nsft#t4t ns/fw#mlm nsft#mlm ns/fw#mlnb nsft#mlnb ns/fw#nblm nsft#nblm ns/fw#trans mlm nsft#trans mlm ns/fw#gender neutral sub#gender neutral dom#my posts
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ALT
Rendered some older sketches now that Silver and Nine have designs! Go check out the lineup done by @cherbearsz as Knuckles, Rouge and Whisper are there too!!
I have much more of this au I need to get posted but I'm really happy with how these renders turned out so have them for now. Finished vs initial sketch comparison for the S drawing below the cut bc I think it's neat!
#starrway art#image id in alt#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic murder drones au#sonic md au#sonic au#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#nine the fox#sonic prime#murder drones#oh yeah babyyyyy finally uploading more#I've got some other silver pieces related to episode 7 I gotta post too hehehehe#And a whole ass comic page in the works with a potential other one I wanna make too???#this au is doing stuff to my brain man#unironically it's helping me so much in getting better at expressions and just drawing sonic characters in general
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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going back to gouache after about 10 years of leaving it alone 👀 here's Mariam as a kid
#the kitten's pose is an hommage to chickpea my own cat#who's letting us give her belly rubs now!!! it's only been a couple weeks#she's loving it#it makes her space out lol#no more brain behind these huge eyes of hers#anyway I've got a pdf ready presenting Birds of the Storm to make a graphic novel out of it#waiting on publisher's opinion...#URGH hadnt noticed the typo#living it alone lol#oops
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I should've taken more photos | Singapore 2024
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#i'm sure someone on tiktok has already done this but i'm staying far the hell away from those#and this is where i put all my daniel ricciardo brain rot and sadness so it's just going to have to live here#obviously i've been thinking a lot about daniel and this song like all the dirlies#but i was in my car listening today and i thought about how he should've gotten to take more photos of his last race#that he didn't pull out his camera until the last minute just in case this was it just so he'd have *something*#and so he didn't get to take photos of all the moments he may have wanted to or of people he may have wanted to#didn't get to take photos with his family#doesn't get to have those memories. didn't get to document each and every moment.#but then thought about the photos that he did take (or blake took) and that he chose to share#that these small moments were important to him and he wanted to remember them#and celebrate the people and the time and the importance of them regardless of how average they seem#he didn't get to capture more memories of that last race in photos#but he got these moments and he knew appreciated them for what they were and what they meant in a 13 year career#it's almost fitting in a weird way that he didn't get a bunch of flashy happy professional photos of his last race#but instead got the kind of photos where you can viscerally feel the love these people had for him and that he had for them in return#these photos remain incredibly hurtful and beautiful in their simplicity
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was listening to the elden ring (+sote) ost on my 8hr bus trip last night and i cannot express how terrible of an idea that was . its was all gorgeous ambience and whatnot that lulled me into a slumber of false security and then i got activated into the waking world like a fucking sleeper agent when i heard malenia's phase 2 music kick into my ears
#elden ring#i looked through my shuffle history afterwards to see what themes HADNT woken me up#and amongst the most intense and loud were; godrick's theme the dragon theme and fucking BAYLE'S theme#none of which were enough apparently#i've just spent so long fighting for my fucking life in malenia's arena that my brain immediately kicked into high gear on impulse#genuinely really funny like i'm not even mad about it#its also gotten me to appreciate the ost a lot more than i already did just sitting there and taking in every sound#got so many chills just Listening while staring out at the nightscape#i genuinely think i could write a fucking essay on messmer's theme#but i digress
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Have you watched Dungeon Meshi yet? I feel like you would LOVE dungeon meshi (see also: I think it would give you obsessive brain rot)
I uh... um... yeah I like Dungeon Meshi a normal amount.
#ask#I am so glad that I give off the vibes of someone who likes Dungeon Meshi. The brain rot is nearly a decade old!#I do recommend looking through the link on 'Dungeon Meshi' - that's the whole chronological tag of the art I've done so far.#Ryoko Kui is a huge art inspiration and I honestly feel like I got a *lot* better after drawing her characters.#Probably because I was looking at more references than I normally do but hey! Progress is progress!#Dungeon Meshi updates kept my deeply depressed ass alive in the darkest moments.#Now it's responsible for being something that got me noticed by the person who made Nico the catboy.#I think I might actually be a bit more known *for* the Dungeon Meshi art than the MDZS content at this point.#When season two comes out I *will* be back for Thistle Thursdays.
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