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#I've coped worse
absinthemindedly · 4 months
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My hair is roughly the same color as it was in middle school and I think I'm having a crisis
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sunlit-mess · 4 months
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sick(?)
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yujeong · 1 month
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Alright, that's enough. I need everyone to be normal about Tonkla right the fuck now.
The takes I've seen about that man have made me lose my mind, to the point where I'm wondering if I've been watching the same show as everyone else. From him spreading diseases to his partners to him faking his grief and doing everything he does for attention, I've been quite perplexed while exploring the show's tags on here and on Twitter to say the least.
Guys. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tonkla is NOT a difficult character to understand. Korn is arguably more of an inscrutable character than him.
Tonkla has been grieving since we first met him; at first his relationship with Korn that's changed to the point of no return and later his brother who got murdered.
That's it. I don't know why we're demonizing a man who 1) likes having sex and 2) is using sex to get the affection - affection, not attention - he seeks from the man whom he loves and from the man who loves him but Tonkla doesn't.
(I know why and I'll rant in the tags about it 🙂)
And while we're on the subject, I need everyone to be normal about Fuaiz, too, because the takes about his taking this role are even worse. People calling what BOC did by casting him grooming, calling the fans groomers and pedophiles, and so on and so forth.
Are you serious? Are you for real?
Fuaiz played White in DFF who was crying and being in distress 90% of the time, a show which included a scene where he pretended to get stabbed and where he got shaken by Jjay who was screaming to his face. I watched the BTS clip of that - the kid needed a moment to calm down from that experience.
Do you care about that in the same way or is it only a problem when he's pretending to get fucked on screen in a secluded, safe environment with a fucking Intimacy Director involved?
I can totally understand feeling uncomfortable about his age or about the age gap between him and Bas. I'm not judging anyone for that. But there's a difference between feeling discomfort and turning that discomfort into a morality issue. Please stop doing that.
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mother-mommy · 7 months
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"I have tabulated your shooting accuracy, your target success rate today was at 53%. Well below your average."
So, how we feelin' burnt out, ex-gifted children who lost the skill they built their whole idea of self and self worth upon?
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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genericpuff · 7 months
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girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money
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ikram1909 · 10 months
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Not them hanging Gavi's picture on the wall of the dressing room and it's not even our own stadium 😭😭😭
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outlying-hyppocrate · 1 month
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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dogboner · 5 months
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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"
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crippledanarchy · 2 months
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I wish I was one of those people that starts posting less frequently bc they're doing better and living life
but I just have nothing new to say because I have given up
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glass-trash-bab · 3 months
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Augh I love my dnd character so much. I love him so much. And I love all the characters from his backstory that the rest of the party doesn't know yet.
I have so much love for them and I can't even form a coherent thought.
Also hi mutuals I'm sorry I haven't posted shit all yeah. I'm knee-deep in this dnd hyperfixation and almost everything I'm drawing is revolving around that.
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hecatesbroom · 6 months
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Thinking about young Dorothy again and I'm. Ugh. I can't cope
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bee-in-a-box · 13 days
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ahhh lads I think I have tourettes
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halogalopaghost · 8 months
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I can really judge how bad of a day I'm having based on how hard it is to get tucked in bed. Sometimes just lifting my weighted blanket to get under it is a HERCULEAN effort. Im working on coming to terms with the fact that this is not my fault.
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lynxgirlpaws · 8 months
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My dad will just drop some shit on me like "Yeah you know how I'd let you get non-diet soda as a kid? It's bc I wanted you to get super hyper before I dropped you back off with your mom so she'd have to deal with it :)" and expect me to laugh along like that isn't super fucked up and evil like what the actual fuck is his problem
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snekdood · 12 days
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Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.
#so here i am having to heal my trauma on my own bc people think im a bad person. cool.#and then people would use me as an argument point 'this is why men who use guys who are victims of abuse as an argument need#to actually do something to show they care' she said so smugly. knowing those guys wont give that guy any care no matter how#correct she is about sussing them out on their bullshit.#so instead im being given 0 options at all bc both men and women want to use me as an argument jumping off point rather than see#me as a real human right here right now whos suffering and in need of aid.#you're arguing about giving me a place to stay right in front of me. and at the end of the day neither of you actually want to help#create a space for me to heal anyways. im just another talking point to you. left in the dust. left to try to figure out how to heal#myself alone all over again. something I never expected to have to do in feminist spaces- spaces I intentionally entered to get healing#about ANOTHER abuse that happened to be as a kid- though if im honest I never really found healing in such spaces its all kinda just#hating on men for the most part- so truly like the rest of my entire shit life i've had to learn how to heal my trauma all alone. which isn#great nor ideal since on my own im bound to pick up worse coping mechanisms than if I actually got help from others. and lord knows#I have *motions to the scars on my arms* but yknow you'd rather use me as a talking point rather than be what I thought you were-#the last resort I had to maybe actually finally get some actual fucking help with my trauma.#vent#to say im disappointed is an understatement. i'm more just sad at this point. i'm tired of being promised better and then its shit.
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