#2 actually. one was for a bit and now theres a real one to help everyone keep track of the lore
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Augh I love my dnd character so much. I love him so much. And I love all the characters from his backstory that the rest of the party doesn't know yet.
I have so much love for them and I can't even form a coherent thought.
Also hi mutuals I'm sorry I haven't posted shit all yeah. I'm knee-deep in this dnd hyperfixation and almost everything I'm drawing is revolving around that.
#yall dont even understand. I've made a theory board.#2 actually. one was for a bit and now theres a real one to help everyone keep track of the lore#still a work in progress but yknow jgffjjvnhg#oh. oh Hopkins I love you. My baby. hes so stressed and he has no good coping mechanisms. because hes 12#Hi Geeky im posting about Hopkins again#i did write out a whole fucking letter in character. if Hopkins ever gets the chance to write a letter to his dads.#its mostly a lot of ''Fuck you for dumping your mess on me. please come back''#my brain. is forever changed. for better or for worse. because of this silly little rabbit#alright ranting in the tags over now thank you for letting me ramble about my boy#hopkins
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once again in a murderous mood due to the menstrual agonies
#it doesnt happen often but SOMETIMES i will get cramps on-and-off BEFORE i actually get my period#and this time the actual period is A WEEK LATE (no im not pregnant) but i STILL get the cramps#and tmi but i was changing my cup last night and saw a teeenie-tiny bit if blood and was like ughh FINALLY#and i even woke up in the middle of the night due to cramps (FOR THE SECOND NIGHT IN A ROW)#BUT THEN! THIS MORNING! NO BLOOD IN THE CUP#AND EVERY TIME I GET THE BEGINNINGS OF A CRAMP ITS LIKE#'if i dont take pain meds IMMEDIATELY i will be bed-ridden with the pain fpr 6hrs' cause missing that window means meds have no effect#so the FAKE cramps#they START in the same way the real ones do but dont develop into that intolerable all-encompassing lvl 8-10 pain#but i can never KNOW for certain which ones i got until i see that theres actual blood#so ive been taking HIGH doses of pain meds for the past 4 days now 🤪🤪🤪#anyway#i wish they did hysterectomies when patients just like. asked them to.#but also i wish i didnt have only bad experiences with obgyns because every time ive gone i havent received help#but i HAVE been told 'oh the pain is just normal but it CAN be lessened SOMEWHAT after giving birth! :~) '#ok let me just get preggers real quick and then give birth and then dump the baby in a dumpster somewhere i guess#cause i sure as shit dont want one#i feel like perhaps having a growing organism grow inside and draw nutrients/resources from your own organism#and then ripping you open as it exits#is more difficult for a body to handle than the surgical removal of an organ#also the former takes 9months and is followed by a lifetime of commitment or any and all distress coming from putting it up for adoption#and the latter is over within a matter of hours and you never have to worry about periods pregnancies or parenthood ever again#anyway vol 2#im at my limit etc etc etc#berry talk
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...
#weird day. really weird day#i couldnt sleep v well bc my brain was fucked up and i was prob dehydrated so im like extremely out of focus#i did go to the health and wellness center and am now back in therapy which is why my day was so fucking wild. like im too tired so im not#opperating correctly but it was real weird. like last time i got assessed by someone who basically sorted me to a therapist according to my#problems. this time i just kinda stumbled into a 1st session with someone and i dont kno how to feel abt how it went. it was odd#like we didnt go thru like an entire thing of like what r all ur problems? it was more i started talking abt things and he got stuck on#some specific things i said and we talked abt that. which im of 2 minds abt bc he did instantly latch onto the root of some of my issues#which is that i feel fucking dumb all the time bc my brain works a little different but it also wasnt helpful bc like theres a stereotypic#verson of my experience and then theres what i actually went thru and those things dont align in the way he was talking abt it. like i#think were were just talking past eachother a bit. like he wasn't exactly wrong but i do feel a bit like i walked in with an open wound and#and he decided the best course of action was to pat me on the head and tell me im v smart so i walked out still bleeding. but i dont think#its was all bad bc it got under my skin so much. i react like a cat thrown in a bath if u try to call me smart. like fuck off. yes ok im#smart. i have a certified document saying that i have above average intelligence. big fucking whoop. im too fucking dyslexic to do anything#right and my brain is constantly trying to strangle me to death. he called me a gifted kid. fuck u i was too fucking dyslexic to b a gifted#kid. stop talking abt the positive aspects of the compulsive way i live my life when its literally strangling me to death and i want it to#stop. acknowledge my pain old man. also i hate thst therapists hate the word weird. its not a bad word i like that word. i disagree#fundamental with the assertion that its bad. also he pointed out that i talk like a freak. like a person with high intelligence. fuck u i#like words. i will peel my own skin off if u call me smart one more time. lol i was so mad. i argued with him like the whole time. also he#mentioned horoscopes which was weird but whatever. we'll see how the next one goes. i told him to his face i i didnt kno if what we talked#abt was helpful. possibly the rudest ive ever been to a stranger lol. well see how the next session goes. at least it was interesting#god. im fucking so tired and wrung out.#unrelated
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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another f1 question from me bc i'm new, why do we not like the mclaren team
aright well without getting too into it because im going to get into it on the update post:
mclaren have 2 drivers: oscar and lando
lando has been with mclaren since 2019, has been signed with them the whole time hes been in f1. oscar has been with mclaren since 2023, has also been with mclaren the whole time hes been in f1
theyre both very strong drivers. mclaren is a top 4 team (theres 10 teams). they have the fastest car this season. they have been very consistent the whole season. oscar is the only driver to have finished every single race this season, lando has had only one dnf in a full length race. theres been 16 races this year, of those 16 races at least one mclaren driver has been on the podium for 13 of them. (most of any team)
anyway
red bull have been dominating the last few years. last year red bull won all but one race and max verstappen won all but three races. max won the drivers championship by like 250 points or something and red bull won the constructors championship by something insane like 400 points (not exact but u get the idea)
this season red bull is still on top but only by a little bit.
in the constructors (team) championship, red bull currently has 446 points. mclaren currently have 438. they are rapidly closing the gap to red bull (despite only winning three races this season) because both of their drivers are very consistent and they have a good car.
however. the drivers championship.
max currently is leading with 303 points. lando is in second with 241. charles (of ferrari) is in third with 217 and oscar is in 4th with 197.
there are still 8 races to go.
now it would be Hard for lando to win the drivers championship at this point, but it is not impossible. he is also definitely closer than oscar is. normally what happens is that a team picks one driver to prioritize because theyre more consistent/experienced/have more points/have a better chance at winning etc etc. lando has been doing better than oscar has in that regard (hes won 2 races, oscar has won one, lando has 4 pole positions this year, oscar has none, etc whatever)
despite this, mclaren are not prioritizing either of their drivers. the owner of the team, zak brown, has said now multiple times that they have "two number 1 drivers" which is weird. because lando is actually close to catching max in the championship. and this is not a chance btw that comes around all the time. f1 is a lot of luck, a lot of chance and then also skill. you can be the most skilled driver, but if your car sucks youre not going to win. mclaren have the fastest car, two very strong drivers and a solid chance to win the drivers championship with lando and the constructors championship as a team, but despite that, they are not prioritizing lando.
meaning that there are no team orders to have lando be running in front of oscar if the two cars are right next to eachother in position, theres no rules to not pass eachother, theres no rules for oscar to protect lando if he is leading. the only real rule seems to be to not hit eachother but they can race eachother (meaning the team wont say that one car needs to finish above the other car) which again, when you have a driver that is in contention to win a world championship, that is kind of insane.
so first there was a race a few races ago where lando was in first and got team orders to let oscar who was in second get past him so that he could win because oscar had been leading the whole race up until possibly the weirdest pit stop call mclaren could have made that essentially put lando in front of oscar. lando gave them a hard time about it but ultimately let oscar win because they told him that if he wanted to win a world championship that he was going to need oscars help (like as a number 2 driver)
so now this past weekend oscar passed lando on the first lap and took the lead (lando starts first and oscar started i think it was second) because there were no team orders for him to not do that. then towards the end oscar was in second and lando was in third (charles was in first which was something that mclaren let happen but thats not important right now) and the cars were close enough that they could have swapped positions. mclaren would have gotten the same number of points but lando would have gotten more points than oscar which would have helped him individually in the drivers championship because max was finishing behind him and this was a race where he was closing the point gap to max. but, mclaren didnt make that team orders call. so oscar finished second and lando finished third.
so essentially landos shot at a world championship title is getting bongled because of mclaren's inability to make the decision as to which driver is their number 1 driver.
so much so that nico rosberg (who was a part of one of the most infamous teammate rivalries where both him and lewis hamilton were at eahcothers necks for a championship title) has told mclaren now not once but twice that they need to make a call as to which driver is their number 1 driver because its going to hurt their drivers and also the team in the long run.
now none of this is oscar or landos fault. there could be contract stipulations that are preventing mclaren from picking a number 1 driver (oscars manager, mark webber, was an infamous number 2 driver to sebastian vettel during the time seb won his 4 consecutive championships so its possible that he might have something in oscars contract to prevent the same thing from happening to him or whatever) or it could be something else. reguardless, its clearly a team problem and not a driver problem. the drivers are there to race and if the team tells the two of them to race eachother they are going to race eachother. both of them are strong drivers and they want to win. but because the team is letting the two of them waste time racing eachother it opens the door for other people to win or for them to lose points or for lando to not end up winning the drivers championship.
its kind of confusing. but tldr: mclaren refuse to prioritize one driver over the other and theyre throwing away their chances at winning the championship because of it
will buxton (who infamously has some bad opinions but didnt on this one) summed it up really really well in the post race show this past weekend
youtube
#not a tag#from saph#mclaren f1#this is NOT oscar or lando slander theyre doing nothing wrong its on the team#f1
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I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship Part 2
feat. Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner
Part 1
Continuation of that one trend that was popular forever ago because why not
WARNINGS: fluffy, Hange is written with they/them pronouns
Word Count: 683
Navigation
AOT Masterlist
LEVI ACKERMAN
He will literally just stare at you with a straight face
Let’s be real he probably doesn’t care (I’M SORRY-)
And it ends and there’s no more audio and your phone is still recording as you just kind of stare back at him
You hold intense eye contact for what feels like literal hours before you grab your phone from the kitchen counter and stop
You awkwardly apologize and play it off as wanting to do a funny video before running off to the bathroom and beating yourself up over this
When you finally calm down you walk out and tell Levi that your roommate called and they need help with something
He most likely will never bring it up again and if/when one of you ask the other out. he’s gonna pretend that’s the first time anything feeling related had been done
But in theory if he does care, don’t be surprised when the next day there’s flowers on your counter that your roommate brought in
Theres a handwritten note hidden in the blossoms that has the kind beautiful poetic writing that people dream of getting (he asked Hange what to write and they found something on Pinterest)
It practically summed up that he would like to be more than friends as well, and asked you out to dinner
Of course, it was fron Levi
And of course you accepted his dinner date
ERWIN SMITH
He had zero clue what you’re doing
Honestly I don’t even think he noticed cause he was working on paperwork or something
He probably heard the sound but didn’t register it and just said “Y/n, I’m working”
It’s a lesson to not bother him while he’s working and actually talk to him when you have his attention 💀
So the trend didn’t work but hey you actually talked to him about it later!
And hey he probably returns those feelings and starts slacking off a tiny bit for you 🤷🏻♀️
But yes afterwards you actually confess to him and he is appalled
But he does like you back and so he kisses your hand and asks you out like the gentleman he is
HANGE ZOË
Hange was actually escatic
Like jumping off the walls escatic
Y’all were on a walk in the park and you suddenly stopped and told them you wanted to film a cute video because the scenery was nice
They were kind of confused at first but then the sound played more and they jumped up and wrapped their arms around you so tight you swear you saw Jesus for a moment
They gave you a big, sloppy smooch so close to your mouth they almost kissed your lips
And then they kind of lifted you off the ground and yelled that they like you, too
You got some weird looks but it doesn’t matter because they kissed your cheek again and said “you’re my significant other now” with the cheekiest smile it was so cute
And y’all turned your walk into a cute date and lived happily ever after
REINER BRAUN
You guys were making pumpkin bread (mostly because I’m craving that right now but that’s unimportant)
You literally got your phone out while you were stirring the batter and started to set it up
“What are you doing?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
And then you told him immediately after you wanted to make a tiktok and he just let you
He was listening to the sound in case it was one of those traps where you played the pornhub theme to get his reaction
And he watched as you set it up directly in front of where he was making the sugar topping for the loaf
A smile crossed his face when he recognized the audio and he glanced down at you when you wrapped your arms around him
He brushed the sugar off his fingers and put his hand under your chin, tilting your head up
You were immediately flustered and almost regretted doing it because oh my god-
And then he kissed you
Right on camera
#izzy’s imagines ❀#attack on titan#aot#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#levi x reader#erwin x reader#hange x reader#reiner x reader#aot fluff#levi fluff#erwin fluff#hange fluff#reiner fluff#levi ackerman#erwin smith#hange zöe#reiner braun#levi ackerman x reader#erwin smith x reader#hange zoe x reader#reiner braun x reader
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how to develop self love and confidence
— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥
disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.
step 1: identifying the root cause
first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:
society
your looks
comparison
your abilities
childhood trauma
your current situations
it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.
for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"
step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.
here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)
society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!
your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)
comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!
your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!
childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.
your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!
step 3: focus on yourself!!
my favourite step!!
this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.
when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!
ask yourself: is there even something to love?
ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.
if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
small things/habits to start:
gratitude
hydration
exercising
journalling
meditation
eating healthy
developing a skill
get enough sleep
take cold showers
taking care of your skin
invest in your appearance
focussing on school/ your grades
go outside! go for walks, be in nature!
changing what you consume (resources below)
some resources that helped me SO MUCH:
♡ thewizardliz
♡ tam kaur
♡ persephone's mind
and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.
xoxo, vanilla
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl tips💗💋#vanilla self improvement⭐️#self love#it girl#girlblog#confidence#self improvement#self validation#self worth#self love guide#that girl#girlblogging#that girl tips#it girl tips#it girl energy#confidence guide#confidence tips
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hi pluto i’m here to ask if u have any isat headcanons. about anybody! hope u have a good sunday :))
HAPPY SUNDAY VIA can i call you via. hello
ive mentioned my tattoo hcs before but im gonna expand on them as best i can rn because i think about it occasionally (i am making a lot of this up. right now! for you!)
ok so odile has a lower back tattoo she got in her 20s and i feel very strongly about this one 1. because i think its funny 2. because it makes her 10x cooler. the other day in my moots disc we talked about the idea of odile having a past polycule that she broke off from and so ive adopted that idea and decided the tattoo is a matching one. she does not regret it at all and is still (somewhat) in touch with her ex’s. siffrin was the first person she told about this, drunkenly btw, and for months afterwards he couldnt remember if it was Actually Real or just something his brain made up (and they were too scared to ask lol)
siffrin has star tattoos on his back and shoulders! i was considering giving him sleeves but i changed my mind,, he got them while he was still travelling on his own. possibly theres a region that is more well known for tattooing (havent decided what this would be though)! he was interested from a ‘learning about new culture’ perspective, also just because Why Not. he chose to get stars because it felt right. he somewhat regrets it. (maybe, post canon and later on their journey, he would try out something else. different designs. things inspired by his family! or things he wants to remember)
isabeau has no tattoos. not from not wanting them, but from just never really having the interest. UNTIL travelling with the party. until staying up late with sif in their shared tent and finding out that, on his travels, he learned how to (very basically) give people tattoos. and begs him for one. its like 2am and neither of them are thinking clearly so they agree. they ‘borrow’ odiles ink pot she uses for writing, a sewing needle that isa happens to have on hand, aaaand it. goes very poorly. as youd imagine. he is lucky to have the long sleeves to cover it up. whatever design theyd been going for was absolutely not achieved. but! he cherishes the memories regardless. (incredibly, they would try this twice. the second time would be after bonnie joined the crew, who would catch them awake, beg siffrin for a tattoo of their own, be told ‘no’, but would still be allowed to watch as long as they PROMISE not to tattle to madame and mira in the morning. bonnie absolutely tattles).
mira! does not seem like a tattoo person to me. i think she would be intimidated by the idea- partially in relation to the change belief, partially because she wouldnt know what to get. i like to think tattoos are probably pretty controversial to the religion… some people think they are a very powerful form of change! something you cant take back. others disagree for the same reason, that its permanent. so pre canon no tattoos for her. but!! but! as i mentioned before with siffrin getting tattoos for his family, i think mira might consider something as well (confidence boosted by the fact that the others will be matching). other than that though, it just doesnt appeal to her much.
bonnie has no tattoos also aaand it will stay that way for. a little bit. this is something that upsets them greatly because i also like to believe that nille has PLENTY of tattoos! possibly some she even got when she was much much younger! irresponsibly, of course, and many of them are regrettable. so she steers bonnie away from making that same mistake too young (tries to encourage them to wait until they are 18 at least). maybe bambouche as a whole is a very tattoo-supportive town, which is where bonnie got their interest. this does not stop them from making little paintings up their arms and having the others help out as well, to make up for it, in a non-permanent way.
i havent actually designed what any of their tattoos would look like… thats gotta be something i sit down to think about,,, one day maybe ehe
#asks#isat#in stars and time#THAT WAS LONG SORRY#also i should note i had planned on making a comic about the. isas first tattoo ehe… thats where the idea came from#but i didnt end up doing it cuz i got busy jkdjdfk#maybe i will still doodle at some point but for now? nahh#ANYWAYS TY FOR THE ASK :) I LOVE TO SPEAK
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Toyafuyu and their parallels:
I did say I wanted to make this post. And Toya and Mafuyu have similar issues at home with a similar way to deal with them, so let's start.
Problems at home:
Both of them have similar problems at home, mainly with their parents.
While we dont actually know what toyamom and mafudad are doing, for barely being even mentioned, Mafumom and Toyadad are extremely similar on their behavior towards their kids.
- Toya's dad wants Toya to practice and practice piano, making him practice the entire day, even as a child, with the consequences of that, Toya didn't have hobbies, barely had any friends before (besides the Tenmas) and barely even knew what he liked.
- Mafuyu's mom wants Mafuyu to study and study the whole day, trying to make her quit archery and music so she can focus on her studies. As a consequence of that, Mafuyu didn't have any hobbies, no real friends outside if niigo and doesn't know what she likes.
Toya's dad wants Toya to be a classical musician, Mafuyu's mom wants Mafuyu to be a doctor. Both of them push their children in places they don't want to go in and have said they dont.
Both of them already had their confrontation, as of jp right now, both of their parents still disagree with what they're doing, but the difference in the acting because of it comes later.
Their mental health:
Because of their parents being both suffocating, they have similar issues.
Toya's only real friends were the Tenmas, and that was because his dad knew them, possibly he knows other people from his dad, but only the Tenmas actually became friends with him.
Mafuyu didn't have any real friends before niigo.
That made one of their differences, also will explain later.
None of them had any hobbies before music.. you could possibly count Archery as a hobby point for Mafuyu, but at least at the start she didn't feel much about it and it was probably just a small escape, a tiny start of a rebellion.
They both felt stuck, but they describe it in different ways.
Toya felt stuck inside a bird cage, forced to sing like birds.
In which he finally managed to open.
Mafuyu felt like a Marionette, making what her mom/the person in the strings asks
One that she also managed to escape
Both of them only managed to escape with the help of music and real friends (vbs and niigo).
Main differences
On how they're treated by the parents theres only a few.
Toya was able to rebel earlier, by influence of Tsukasa, not only that but he has more.. freedom to rebel than Mafuyu ever had.
Mafuyu's first rebelling influences were niigo, mainly Ena and Mizuki on this part, and even then she barely could do it without her mom taking away everything she had.
The differences in how they're treated on here may be because of the rest of the family.
Toya is the youngest of 3 songs, both of the older ones are already at classical music, so his dad can afford to have one Black Sheep, his legacy is already being fulfilled, so even if he disagrees with the style, he doesn't need to outright stop it.
Mafuyu is an only child, there's no one else to follow mafumom's dreams and expectations but her, this puts her under a tighter leash than Toya has.
And without friends, she couldn't do that first step out of that house.
Their real family
The people who help them be themselves, who let them have a break from their house, their real family and home
Mafuena and Akitoya bonus:
Imagine an akitoya image here i already did 10 images
Nothing much, just both like how lively the shinonomes are with each other, because of how cold their house are.
There is a reason both Toya and Mafuyu are associated with snow.
Bonus 2: event
Imagine an event with them, they start talking about their family to each other and bonding with similar rules and expectations, maybe Mafuyu also meets Ken as an image of a better dad. Maybe someone else is with them, someone with good parents stopping and going: that is not normal.
Just so they can grow a little bit together, find reliance on each other from their issues.
#project sekai#proseka#colorful stage#prosekai#pjsekai#puroseka#mafuyu asahina#toya aoyagi#touya aoyagi#character essay#.. idk what came over me
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Hanging Out With Ithaqua
Angst... Maybe??? plus comfort? UhHh (Sorry for not posting a while y'all tsk tsk) SHORT!! //Please tell me if theres a few grammar and error mistakes '^'`// I MADE THIS AT 2 AM
Tonight, there was a lot of snow falling. Then suddenly, a snowball hit your window that got your attention. You got up to see what was happening. When you opened the window and the wind blew inside, a gust of air filled your room, and then you saw Ithaqua. "Oh, that silly bastard. What does he want?" You thought.
“Psssst, hey!” Ithaqua called “I want to go out and have fun with you.” His cloak swayed against the cold breeze of the wind.
“You want to see a secret beneath these woods? Come on! I know you're going to say yes to me...” “How did you know that I will agree with you?” You chuckled at your words and looked at the male.
“No need to sound surprised. Come on, we are wasting a night for you to stay in your room!” He insisted. “It'll be more fun for me too!” At your hesitation, Ithaqua's voice grew more irritated. “... Ithaqua's getting impatient here!” He grunted. You knew you couldn't just stay in this situation. “Fine! Fine!” You grabbed your cloak and put it on. “Just.. help me get out of this... window—” Ithaqua put his hand to you. “You should have just... used your door... But anyway, grab my hand first.” He gave you a small helping gesture and pulled you out of the window. “Now follow me!” He whispered silently. There was a small trail near that spot and Ithaqua began walking fast as his stilts were making clacking sounds against the snow-covered ground. “Wait up! where are we actually going?” You raised a brow as you asked him a question as you two walked through the forest. Ithaqua glanced back to make sure you were still following him. As you two were walking, Ithaqua got a small stick in the snow. “We are near a big spot that I want to show you.” Ithaqua took your hand secretly and continued walking on a small trail.
“You know I never told you why me and my mother live in these woods? Do you wonder why we live here?”
“Why?” You raised a brow and you never really wondered for a long time why Ithaqua and his mother lived together in these woods. “This is a long story, but do not worry...” He stopped at a certain place, turned to you, and put his free hand on the back of your neck. “My mother found me near this place. It was the darkest night, and she was running from the law. As she was running, she saw a lifeless body like mine—I was like a pale corpse without any signs of life. And she made me live again.” The area was filled with trees and silence. You listened to him, and you were a bit shocked.
“... How do you still remember your past...?”
“If you only knew the things Mother taught me. I'll never forget it.” Ithaqua chuckled and continued walking. “Anyway, that's why Mother took care of me and why we live in these woods.” The woods were getting darker. You slowly nodded and looked up at the night sky. A single star twinkled in the darkness, and in that moment, you felt a sense of peace. You turned to Ithaqua. “Far away from civilization, am I correct?” Ithaqua nodded. “Yes. I was taught by Mother that civilization is... dangerous.” He was still walking with you towards one destination.
“Mother isn't very fond of people...” Ithaqua said. You narrowed your eyes at Ithaqua. “Yes, because the people will suspect her of being a witch.” You spoke. Then suddenly Ithaqua glared at you. “... What did you just say?” Ithaqua's eyes furrowed, as he put his free hand on the back of your neck and tilted your chin toward him. His face was now near yours. “Where did you hear that from, Y/N?” You hesitated, unsure of what to say. You knew you couldn't lie to Ithaqua, he could always tell. Taking a deep breath, you finally replied, “I heard people talking about it in town...”
“So... People think Mother is a witch. And you believed in those things they said...? Witches are not real, Y/N.” Ithaqua said sarcastically. His free hand now gently squeezed your chin softly. "Those are just made from their stupidity." The corners of his lips were curled down, and he was frowning at your hesitation. “Mother has been nice to me. She's kind and gentle.” Your e/c eyes stared into his blue eyes beneath the almond-shaped eyeholes mask. “Ithaqua... Of course, I do not believe them.” You tried to calm him down. “I do not believe what the town said, Ithaqua... I am very sorry, and I did not mean to say that... I am sorry.” You said in a nervous tone. Ithaqua let go of your chin and looked down. His face suddenly cleared from any expression. No smile, no frown, no anger. He was just staring at you. “Oh,” He muttered and turned away. After a while, Ithaqua held your hand and continued walking to a place. “You know, despite Mother's worries, I never felt a chill near her. I am always feeling the warm presence of a mother next to me.” Ithaqua said in a serious tone. You looked at Ithaqua in disbelief, not sure what to make of his words. You were about to say something but forget about it. After a while, the two arrived at the right spot. It was a small clearing in the woods with a single, giant tree in the middle. Ithaqua took your hand and made you stand close to him, in the spot.
“Look up.”
“Huh?” You looked up at the large tree that Ithaqua was talking about a while ago. Then you noticed something in the snow under the tree. It was a bunch of snowmen with two leaves on their heads that looked like ears and most of them looked oddly the same. “I made them for you, Y/N.” He said softly. You smiled at him, understanding his gesture. He had made all these snowmen for you, to show how much he cared. “... Thank you, Ithaqua.” You smiled warmly. “They are... adorable. They are very nice.” He smiled back at you, feeling content that you liked his gift. “Ah, you are welcome.” He gave you his cute smile again behind the mask. “The night isn't over yet.” He held your hand again.
“I wanted to show you something else, too...”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Just follow me.” He walked again with you holding his hand. Soon, the two of you climbed to the top of the large tree branch. "Take a look over there." He whispered and pointed in a specific direction. “Huh, where?” You were a bit confused as you looked around. Ithaqua chuckled softly then his voice grew intense, and he looked at you, making sure you followed his instructions by looking in the same direction. “Just... take a look. You'll see something interesting. That spot where I pointed, right there.” The spot was very close to where you two were. You suddenly saw a light and it was the town. It was beautiful from afar, the colours of the light of the place blending together in the night sky. “Oh... The town...?” Ithaqua's face seemed serious while staring at it. He let go of your hand. His cold breath was now fogging up. His eyes were filled with some sort of disappointment. He seemed to be lost in thought for what seemed like a long time. What happened to him? After Ithaqua let out a deep sigh, he snapped back to the reality. “Do you think they'll ever welcome Mother in that civilization, Y/N?” He finally asked you. You looked at Ithaqua with a shock expression, you already felt how much he was struggling. Due to the few years ago when the incident happened... You didn't know what to say. You felt like you wanted to say the right thing, but you couldn't find the words. Suddenly he looked away, his gaze now fixed on the horizon. His voice was hollow when he whispered, “Never mind... Forget about it, it was just.. a silly thought.” Ithaqua chuckled nervously and breath heavily. You could see the disappointment in his eyes. He sighed again and leaned against the trunk. “So much snow fell tonight. The cold wind seems to remind me of something...” He sounded deep. “It feels... peaceful here.” He mumbled. He looked back at your face. You looked at him, unsure of what to say.
“Y/N...” Ithaqua hesitated.
“Huh?” You raised a brow.
“You know... I really trust you because you are my only best friend, right?”
“Yeah?”
“And I... do not mean to be... intrusive, but...” His face turned serious and his eyes seemed deep.
“Could you help me with one thing?”
“Sure, what is it?”
Ithaqua hesitated for a moment. “Can you... hug me? And stay with me for a while?” He finally spoke up. But he sounded a tiny bit desperate... You let out a sigh and smiled warmly, then you opened your arms and immediately hugged him tightly. You held him close and you could feel him shaking in your arms. Ithaqua felt a sudden calmness when you hugged him. He put his free hand behind your collar to pull you closer. His cold hands, but they still felt welcoming. “Thank you.” he said softly as he put his head down on top of your head, breathing slowly. “You are welcome, Ithaqua.” You saw him close his eyes. A peaceful, silent night, full of falling snow, and a feeling of peace. You felt so comfortable while hugging Ithaqua. You never felt this welcome somewhere else, even in your home. But it was different with Ithaqua.
“You are the only person I have... Y/N. Do not ever leave me...”
#identity v ithaqua#idv night watch#ithaqua idv#ithaqua x reader#idv x you#identity v night watch#idv angst#Ithaqua x !childhoodbestfriend reader
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Random Eyeless Jack tongue hcs
Cw// kinda borders into suggestive territory if you squint, but nothing intentional? Writing this before actually putting down the hcs, but
Yeah
Nothing too crazy, obviously
Also cw// for body horror and shit since I also wanna dive into his whole.. how he got messed up
Getting the body horror stuff out of the way, I hope yall already know ab my whole curse hc/interpretation on jack
If you dont/if you're new; hi! Welcome to my blog! I hc that jack used to be a normal dude but got dragged into a cult that made him the way he is now!! Real important and relevant to my take on him/I haven't seen many other people use that spin on fan story for this sort of thing
Anyways
As per the whole "his body is shifting into something horrific," thing, his tongue literally. Splits into several tendrils
Havent decided on an exact number, but hes got.. a few alright!
Thick, but get thinner to the tips; and they have the same goop that leaks from Jack's eyes! Sensitive sense of taste; and he can kinda detect scents with them, like snakes do!!
His mouth is kinda crowded, though, so sometimes he'll talk with a bit of a lisp (?), or accidentally bite himself
Now onto the real horror; the process of his tongue splitting was painful, and long. He felt all of it, and given that he's literally turning into a man eating monster, he was unable to seek medical help; so he had to suffer alone and without aid
Obviously, if your tongue is splitting itself open, there's gonna be a mess plus lots and lots of pain
Poor dude
Moving on
They writhe
A lot
Especially when theres... food.. nearby; they tend to flick out (snake like!!!) If hes hungry (tends to lose himself for a while)
In the most sfw way I can say it because there is literally no way I can say it without being sus, they kinda??? Wrap around things??
Like okay I had an art idea, to draw jack with a blood-popsicle, since summer is coming; and with the previous hcs it'd make sense that his tongues would just naturally latch around it and grip said blood-pop
So that's my hc now
Also back to horror stuff i feel like that'd make his feeding frenzies all the more terrifying
I mean when he goes into one he completely loses all his humanity and thoughts and just jumps on someone
Imagine he latches onto someone and like
Idfk anchors them into the persons flesh so they cant just easily shove him off
That's terrifying
I love it sm
Downside; kissing jack is not fun since 1) it's a legitimate choking hazard, and 2) the goop makes his tongues taste gross
I feel like the goop is also, to a degree, corrosive
Or at least, an irritant
Like super powered saliva that can break down meat fast; also explains why I draw jack with huge dark circles n shit around his eyes
I bet yall (who follow my main) just thought I made him tired
Nope, it's his flesh being slowly burned away!! Granted hes more durable to it since the whole monster thing + it's his own material but
Still
So
Yeah!!!
Take what you will with these hcs
#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta#crp#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack headcanon#eyeless jack
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How was the episode?
Once Upon an SMG4 and... gay theories-
*METAL PIPE SOUND EFFECT*
WHAT DO YOU THINK????
Oh- I think many of you guys miss how I hyperfixate some stuff out- sorry if I kinda missed some chances on using it to PV's-
I got mind block atm so I may or may not have much theories-
Spoiler theory-thoughts incoming...
I knew that Three was self aware from the beginning. I wish everyone of four's crew would break the reality. We're not even sure if this is THE crew we're watching on. Or these are fake?
He knows. Not a bit long enough for him to realize that whatever he's doing is for PV's desires to make the show on forward.
We didn't get any shots for tari. Where is tari? Where is she? Shes not here yet? Where couldve she'd been gone off to?
She knows how simulations work.
Perhaps pv kept her back to where she was trapped? During the time on that train?
What if she's locked in a prison? Or keeping herself busy with something?
Theres a high possible chance that Tari escaped and will be helping rest of her friends regain their conciousness back again. (By having a talking metallic arm she has- I think Clench might be the one who can help Tari)
Lets all say that everyone is asleep. And PV is doing literally everything to place the crew off character roles from each stories.
Meanwhile they're all trying to fight it off.
Just like how Three did. Remember when I created a hyper fixation about Three being self aware during Western Spaghetti, which whom he said he'd been asleep for a hundred years that felt like it.
Almost too real for him that he jinxed it-
Now that he's trying to wake himself up from this nightmare hole, he couldn't escape.
Can tari save everyone again? Will they fail? Who knows? Its only been 2 episodes for PuzzleVision's videos. Its 2 out of 3 more.
I'm pulling out that I guessed right. It was bob. Since I had a HUGE feeling that it might be bob than PV on that role.
"I wish we could all escapre from here..."
Smg4 is seen to be grinning a little. Is it because his concious mind says "he did it." ?
Is it because Four couldn't do anything because of PV? And that only Three can? Maybe four realized? Started coming back from everyones thoughts that- THIS ISNT REAL. THEY HAVE TO WAKE UP.
Besides from the main characters- what about the other people? Saiko? SMG1? SMG2? (Actually i think they both retired but who knows if they can both save the crew- high chance but not sure-) swag? Chris? Anyone at all? Where the heck is eggdog and Beeg?
They're not here- to who PV victimed. Bowser is also included. He was also shown in western spaghetti. Just like how he was also trapped with the rest. Would this possibly happen to the others if they tried to interfier with PV's job?
I mean- I dunno man-
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I'll Look After You - Part 3 Bucky x Y/N
I feel like I'm slowly getting the hang of actually making posts on tumblr. I'm still not great but bare with me. I'm still utterly obsessed with John 'Bucky' Egan and since I'm running out of fics to read I feel I need to make my own. Part 2 kinda got away from me but I think I have a bit more of a clear direction for this now. This includes jealous! Bucky. Enjoy:
When Bucky awoke the next morning, he was dissapointed Y/N was not by his side. He had hoped he would get to see her beautiful face again when he woke up. But the chair was empty and the book left on the bedside table. She must have left once I fell asleep he tought to himself. And who could blame her? That chair hardly looked comfortable. I wonder is she working again today? Maybe she will come by again soon. He looked to the book on the table. The hairpin stuck between the pages told him there was still a few more chapters left to read. His chest swelled with hope. She might come back again tonight. Bucky thought about relaxing into the small hospital bed and being comforted by her beautiful voice once more. As he imagined that gorgeous voice, he heard it from a short distance away. Almost as if he had magically made her appear. He couldnt see her, thanks to that godforsaken curtain; but it was her. He heard her melodic laugh. Who is she talking to? Whats so funny? Bucky couldn't help it. Suddenly he felt.. jealous. Why on earth would he feel jealous? Because he wanted to be the once to make her laugh. Thats why. But Bucky did his best to quell those jealous thoughts. She was probably just talking to one of the other nurses.
'I couldnt help it, I just started spewing everywhere!' It was awful.' Bucky knew that voice. That was not a nurses voice. 'Oh Major Crosby, why on earth did you become a flight navigator if you suffered from air sickness!' She said in between giggles. Crosby. Crosby was making her laugh. Well at least she was laughing at him. 'I didnt know I suffered from it till I was already in the air! You gotta help me Y/N, I need more of the stuff the doc gave me but he's not back till Monday!' 'Okay, okay, here you go.' 'Thanks Y/N I really appreciate it.' 'No problem Major.' Bucky heard footsteps, then Croz's voice again. 'Y/N?' 'Yes Major?' 'Please, call me Harry. I was just wondering if I could pay you back, for the pills?' 'Oh theres no need Harry.' 'I know, but I want to thank you properly. Are you working tonight?' 'No, thankfully for the first night in what feels like weeks I'm off for the night.' Bucky's heart sank at this news. There goes his plans of a lovely nights sleep. 'Oh great! Theres a dance on tonight in the main hall, are you going?' 'I hadn't thought about it, but I guess it would be fun!' 'Oh great, well I'll buy you a drink there, to thank you.' 'That's very kind Maj- Harry. I'll see you there.' 'Great! I'll see you there Y/N!'
Bucky's blood boiled. Croz was going to be at the dance with Y/N. Croz couldnt even dance! She would have a terrible time with him. It should be Bucky buying her drinks and sweeping her off of her feet. Not Croz. Pukes-a-lot Croz. If only his ribs would hurry up and heal. Then he could go to the dance and show her a real good time. Bucky tested himself, trying to get out of bed. It was painful, but maybe managable? Just as his first socked foot hit the ground, the curtain swung open and there she was, Y/N.
She went to Bucky's cubile to find he was already getting to his feet. 'Haha! Great minds really do think alike! I was just about to get you for physical therapy.' Bucky looked at her like he was caught with his pants round his ankles. 'Physical therapy?' he questioned. He sat at the edge of his bed, one to look 'non-chalant' and two because he was afraid his legs would gave in from under him with the pain in his side. She smiled at him 'Yeah, didnt the doctors tell you? It's about time we get you up and moving Major! Cant expect you to be in the air if you cant even be on the ground. Come on.' She stepped close to him and held out her hands, waiting for him to take them. He stared. 'Come on, lets go for a walk.' He did want to, but he felt angry. How could she be so kind and nice and smile so beautifully at him when she had just agreed to a date with Crosby. He looked at her, eyes shining and smiling a smile that could probably wrap even Hitler himself around her finger. He gave in and put his hands in hers. It was electric. He never wanted to let go of her perfect, soft hands. He didnt think it was possible, but her smile grew even bigger. Maybe she feels it too. This connection between us. She stepped back, giving him room to stand. He towered over her. She looked up at him, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her. All her had to do was bend his neck a bit, tilt his head to the side slightly, and his lips would be on hers. But no, she was Crosbys girl. He was the one going to kiss her. His blood started boiling again at the thought. 'Lets get this over with.' He said with a scowl. The sooner this was over, the sooner he would hopefully be able to stop thinking about her. As if I could ever think of anything but her. He thought. Her smile faltered, not expecting him to be anything other than his charming self.
They made it to the hallway, their steps slow and steady so not to hurt Bucky too much. Y/N tried to be encouraging, often praising him at how well he was doing. But Bucky barely responded. Eventually, she decided the silence was too much. 'Whats your favourite type of cake?' she asked. 'What?' he looked at her confused. 'Cake! Mines chocolate. I absolutely love chocolate cake. Whats your favourite?' 'I don't have a favourite type of cake.' he said. 'You like them all then huh? That's fair. If I'm honest I like all kinds of cake. Except carrot. Carrot and cake should not mix. Everything else is great -' 'I really don't care for or about cake!' Bucky snapped. As soon as he said the words he regretted it. Her bright smile vanished, and she physically recoil from him. She put as much distance between them as she could. Deciding she no longer needed to hold his hands. He immediatly missed the warmth of her hands in his. Longed to grab them back and never let tem go. 'I think you're okay with walking. Turn around back to your bed. I'll be behind you if you need me.' Bucky didnt know what to say, so he just turned around and slowly walked back to his bed. She was right on his heels though, being a good nurse and making sure nothing happened to him. He could sense her hand hovering over his shoulder, ready to catch him if he faltered. She never said a word though. Bucky wanted to break the awkward silence, but how? He had no idea what to say. She helped him back to bed and made a quick exit. 'Anoher nurse will be around later for evening rounds. I'm done for the day.' Without another word she walked off. Bucky cursed himself. He was a dick to her even though she was always kind to him. He would be pushing her even further into Crosby's arms now.
The day turned into evening, the evening into night. Everyone else in the infrimary was asleep, but not Bucky. He didnt know what was keeping him from slumber; the thought of nightmares or the thought of her and Crosby at the dance. Y/N and Croz at that dance is my worst nightmare. Bucky realised. What if they're dancing? He's a terrible dancer. I would be far better at dancing with her. What if they're slow dancing. What if he holds her a little too closely? What if he kisses her? Bucky tried to stop his racing mind before he had a stroke. He looked at the book again. Exactly where she left it. He didnt even want to read it. He knew the story word-for-word by now. He just wanted to hear her read it. That wasnt going to be happening tonight.
Y/N was enjoying the dance. The music was great, and everyone was in good spirits celebrating someones 25th mission. Harry was ever the gentlemen, buying her a drink and making sure she was okay. She liked Harry. He was kind, funny and charming, dispite his issues with air sickness that everyone cruely made fun of him for. She sat at a table with some of the other nurses and a few soldiers. 'Would you like another drink?' Harry asked her, noticing her empty glass. 'Oh I'm fine, thank you Harry.' 'How about a dance?' his hopeful smile was too much for her. 'I'd love to.' They made their way to the dance floor, a lively jazz song being played by the band. Harry wasnt the best dancer, but he had fun and made her have fun too, which was the most important part.
After their dance, Y/N needed to catch her breath. It was then she looked up at the clock and saw the time. 'I didnt realise it was so late! I better get going.' 'I'll walk you home.' Harry said, holding out his elbow to her. 'Oh thats very kind Harry, but theres no need. I'm going to head to the infirmary to check on some patients before I go to bed. You stay with they guys and enjoy the party.' 'Are you sure?' Y/N could sense some dissapointment in his tone, but chose to ignore it with a warm smile. 'I'm sure. Enjoy yourself.' She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and headed for the door. JUst as she was about to leave, she remembered she was meant to grab something...
At midnight he was still awake. He knew the party would be ending soon. He thought of Crosby walking Y/N home. Ever the gent. What if he tried to kiss her? would she accept his kiss? He hoped not. What if she did? He couldnt help picture Harry Crosby with his hands on Y/N, kissing. Hands moving to places he would sell his soul to touch. He was fit to scream. He couldnt hack it. Just when he was about to bang his head against the wall to rid himself of the terrifying mental images, he heard a voice. 'I'm not too late am I?' I'm hallucinating, Bucky thought. The pain meds must be very strong tonight. Y/N stood at the foot of his bed. Wearing a beautiful red dress, hair in flowing waves. Red lipstick he would love to smudge. 'What are you doing here? Weren't you at the dance?' She smiled, 'I was, but when it was almost over I thought I'd come check on you. Not that you deserve it. You were very cranky earlier.' 'I'm sorry Y/N I-' she cut him off 'There's no need to appologise. Physical therapy can be very difficult. Your body has been through a lot it's okay if it takes time to recover.' She was a literal angel. After how poorly he treated her, she still showed him so much empathy. More than he deserved. Even after her date with Croz, here she was checking in on him. 'Thank you. There's no need to check on me though. I'm fine. You should head back.' She moved closer while pulling a paper bag from behind her back. 'The dance is over now. Besides, I think theres about two chapters of Great Gatsby left. I brought some treats for us to eat while we read it.' She pulled out two small pieces of cake from the bag, white frosting on each piece with jam in the middle. 'You wouldn't tell me what kind of cake you liked, turns out it didnt matter because by the time I got to it this was all that was left anyway.' Cake? She had brought him cake? She was at the dance, with another man, and she thought about bringing him cake in the middle of the night? Bucky almost cried. 'You didn't have to do that, thank you. That's very kind.' She looked at the chair next to his bed. Her back already hurt before she even sat on it. 'Do you mind moving over a little? That chair is horrendous.'
Bucky was sure he heard her wrong. She wanted to sit in the bed with him? He stuttered out a response as he slowly moved as much as he could in the small bed. 'Sure, be my guest.' She sat beside him with her back againt the headboard. The sides of their bodies touching from their shoulders to their ankles. If Bucky's heart wasnt racing before, it was now. She handed him his piece of cake and picked up the book. 'It was when curiosity about Gatsby was at its highest that the lights in his house failed to go on one Saturday night....' She read to him, occasionally taking a break to bite into her cake. They sat like that, eating and reading, with Bucky never taking his eyes off of her beautiful face. Slowly, his tired eyes fluttered closed. He dreamed of cake, Gatsby's mansion, and her.
#masters of the air#callum turner#john bucky egan#john egan#mota#mota fanfic#masters of the air fan fiction#john egan x reader#john bucky egan x reader#bucky egan
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Stardew Valley needs an Undertale mod or crossover or something
Like how cool would that be? x3
Imagine if, mid fall during year 2 or 3 or 4 or something, when you go to sleep "There was a loud shattering sound from the mountain" and you check the T.V. and theres a news report along the lines of "Apparently, a new fissure has opened up in the mountainside near the town of Stardew Valley, and thankfully no one was injured. According to the leader of a local adventurer guild of the area, several species of non-hostile monsters have begun leaving from the new hole into mountain.
You go over to near the adventurer guild, and see Marlon talking with Asgore and Papyrus and Undyne and Frisk is there too.
Flowey could come out to spy on your farm every now and then.
You could go into the mountain and meet all the Undertale Characters. They could become new npcs and stuff.
Each major npc could give a certain buff.
Undyne would probably stick around the adventurer's guild, since the royal guard would be either disbanded or reformed into something else. She could help with stuff when you're going into the mines.
Alphys could help Harvey with medical stuff or Gunther with research and expanding the library and museum.
Asgore would be talking with Mayor lewis for a while, and probably eventually leave to talk with other parts of the world/government.
Temmie would be at Pierres cause why not lmao. Just like on a shelf somewhere lol
Grilby would be outside of the saloon, he wouldn't go inside because of all the flammable beverages and also the hazard of being extinguished lol. He might set up a small stand or shop that the player could interact with.
Sans would be all over the place, hanging with Grilby, talking with his bro, visiting Pierres and stuff. And instead of walking everywhere like all the other villagers, he'd go behind a nearby piece of scenery and teleport to somewhere else on the map.
Muffet would probably set up a small shop in the town square.
Mettaton would have a stage near the town square too. And when the Joja Mart gets turned into a theater, he would do live performaces there.
Papyrus would be at the Stardrop Saloon, working for Gus part time as he learns how the hell to actually cook lmao.
Toriel would probably be a bit all over the place, checking in on everyone and seeing how they are doing.
The Nice Cream Guy would permanently be set up at the ice cream shop near the museum year round. It would be a bit worse than the regular ice-cream, with the benefit you can get it without having to wait until summer.
Heats Flamesman would be near the Elevator in the mines. You can chat with him and remember his name, but he doesnt really do much lol.
Napstablook would set up a small dj-booth on that small island in the lake near the mounatin.
Frisk would hang out around Toriel and also Jas and Vincent lol
And thats all the ideas i got at the moment lol
I would love that to be a real mod lol. Hell if I had the resources or skills, I'd make it myself x3
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Revealing my desired enstars shuffle units!!! I might make more posts about each unit in particular + what songs it'll prob sound like. First is the event card and second and third is gacha card and the rest is event
but for now here's a brief look into each unit!
dystopia : they are all mystical beings that live in a dystopian world where art and order is gone.
heartthrob : think aisle with you plus atoz but spin it. This is more of a sad nostalgic kind of love unit? Like basically a we used to be in love and I long for you kind of thing. CAUSE I KNOW VALENTINES ARE LIKE HAPPY BUT I WANT SAD VALENTINES OK ARGHHHH (gets dragged out)
wonderlandz : mascot cosplay group, imagine twisted wonderland met wicked drugs and this. ill explain more on who is who <3 vetarannoruma : a group doing a documentary about investigative work but then gets caught in a ACTUAL CASE, they somehow end up on a plane- someone gets shot???!!! and ibara throws a bomb somewhere-FIND OUT MORE IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF VEGAS TRUE CRIME-
5050' : so eichi is investing shit right and then makes a bet and loses sum money idfk to RINNE AMAGI? Turns out rinne is good at investing and shit but then eichi like nuh uh ur reckless kohaku is on the shuffle cause rinne and his dirty schemes. Kanata is trolling and Tetora is burning kitchens (i'll explain i swear-)
imaging : OHOHO THIS IS A HALLOWEEN SHUFFLE, so switch makes a haunted house right and natsume is like lets do a mirror maze *casts sum spell* then SUBARU gets caught in the spell and suddenly theres multiple of them and the other three members get trapped.
dia thieves : game show where they battle for fans and try to rizz you up but then stinky pr does smth and THERES A SCANDAL?????? find out more on dia thieves : broke asf....
phantoms at the opera : OK OK I KNOW MAYOI AINT IN ERE BUT I DIDNT WANNA MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS. So hokuto is doing sum dramatica shit and then he gets a theatre role outside and then they have to act out shit think masquerade ball BUT THEN (here's the plot twist) THEY GET THRUSTED INTO A MURDER MYSTERY GAME BY GATEKEEPER (dun dun dunn!!!) SHIT HAPPENS NAGISA GETS INTO A CULT TSUMUGI IS HANGING OFF A LEDGE REI ALMOST DIES HOKUTO WRU and madara is yo mama.
CU2+ : So midori and hajime has been part of a buddy system made by es to cultivate good relationships between fellow idols, but they chat anon they all do so no one knows who each other is. Midori has been feeling a bit down lately and the rest of the support grp helps him but then everyone puts on a false persona because they want to be a better version of themselves. Hajime wants them to all meet in the real world at around 2 plus, but Midori has other plans...
Parasol : ARASHI WEARS A SUNDRESS TWO PIECE I REPEAT ARASHI WEARS A- basis is its a modelling gig and compared to arashi chiaki is TERRIBLE DAWG i love you chiaki but i know you can willingly go without bathing so on the day of the shoot they put so much effot in bad weather strucks and ITS A BRINK OF A NATURAL DISASTER.....but arashi is stuck and all alone....
PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THOUGHTS JUST YAP IN MY COMMENTS I LOVE TO RAMBLE ABT THEM <3
#ensemble stars#enstars#yuzuru fushimi#eichi tenshouin#tori himemiya#wataru hibiki#subaru akehoshi#hokuto hidaka#mao isara#makoto yuki#shu itsuki#mika kagehira#madara mikejima#rei sakuma#kaoru hakaze#adonis otogari#koga oogami#chiaki morisawa#tetora nagumo#kanata shinkai#shinobu sengoku#midori takamine#yuta aoi#hinata aoi#arashi narukami#tsukasa suou#ritsu sakuma#izumi sena#leo tsukinaga#keito hasumi
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