#2 actually. one was for a bit and now theres a real one to help everyone keep track of the lore

[imkazz]

finished saiki k and i am not coping well

yeahh i get why they said theres no development until the last 2 episodes. because i have thoughts. more than i had for season 2 or season 1.

@peapodsinspace ing because this isnt from discord and i was freaking out with you real time when i was watching loll

cannot believe this is only about three episodes. how is this just three???? im just going to go in chronological order and hope for the best and barely proofread loll

the future talks. ohhh i am ill about the future talks. saiki kusuo has more pressing matters than his future and it kills me every time. because he cant focus on himsef- there is an active volcano that he has always been rewinding time for. he cannot have the time to think about university or a future career until this is all over, which is so unlike me (a normal teenager) that it makes me ill because this is what a normal teenager should be thinking about, not the fucking country that you have to save by yourself. and at least i was so happy that they were crowding around kusuos desk until they started talking about the very future that he has to save, and then i was even happier to hear that kuboyasu and hairo want to become teachers because those types of characters always kill me (despite the fact that the anime also made fun on the fact that it is a trope too) and they are both really good picks from the gang to actually become them. i also enjoyed the quiz game they did to guess kusuos college- teruhashi was the only one to get a ‘hm good guess’ out of kusuo, and his chosen places are literally ‘economics’ ‘literature’ ‘literature’ and the fact that everyone said “thats so normal”in distaste implies that they believe that kusuo could do better. and then THIS.

and the fact kusuo thinks “maybe this could go on forever…” with a smile on his face???? like my dude you are wayy too attached to them noww..

ok so it seems i might even just. be doing a paragraph per episode. now.

the robot?? i agree with what i said my first watch: WHY IS THE SAIKI FAMILY SO DEPENDANT ON GENERATIVE AI AND ROBOTS. i wasnt sure which one it would do- if it would fool all his friends or if it would be too suspicious for them. but i was dead wrong- it says ‘yare yare’ too many times and it is obviously saiki kusuo in the flesh (get it?). i was growing more concerned (and out of breath from laughing) at all the shenanigans that happened along with how kusuo attempted to get rid of it, showing a bit more of his battle iq and intelligence along with his relationships with the other psychics, through his quick strategizing along with utilising his abilities to help in specific situations, along with the relationships he has cumulated with them in order to get them to trust him and follow his word when serious times arise. not only that, but kusuke gets additional information about all of that along with us the audience because he is also a part of the audience (my brain hurts from some of this stuff). 

then for the battle. i am illllllll. so. for many many episodes, we have watched kusuo try and make plans to avoid his friends in all sorts of situations. but this bit? its golden. he finds a disadvantage from not knowing what toritsuka has been doing all week, and that temporarily weakens him until he comes up with a new plan on the given information he knows and has pieced together himself, and then used it to get his body back. then not only that, he begins to fight without his limiter. and we know its hard even with the limiter!! we watched him struggle to throw balls, and then practice to ensure that he could control his strength. amazing already, but then he begins to turn a bad situation into something favourable especially with toritsuka in the mix. because both saiki brothers are smart af. even if toritsuka isnt of use, kusuke reuses him as a hostage and then when that doesnt work, himself and the limiter (all things important to kusuo). kusuo is able to put together that the bomb was fake because kusuke spoke for too long and he remembered aiuras word and trusts her power. 

and then the battle plan is so smart?? kusuo is able to use his disadvantages as advantages (teleportation doesnt need the 3 minute cooldown), and then purposefully drained his strength to be able to pick up the limiter and put it back into his head without breaking it. he could read toritsukas mind and realised that he didnt actually hate kusuo (i found how this was shown as really cool too? instead of the background it was soft shapes and colours implying friendliness as it showed both of them). he made enough of a friendship with toritsuka to get him not to hate him even after being brainwashed. kusuo dragged out the battle to try and gauge what the cat tank could do. AND HES SEVENTEEN. what shocked me further was the fact that he took out the limiter. which he thought would reveal his powers to the world. sure its an asshole thing of kusuke to say/do to kusuo but he at least disabled it a long time ago. but im more focused on kusuo. he took it out. he took it out. thats HUGE. he really thought he would be letting go of normalcy and never be able to go to school without being worshipped. and he did it on his own terms. i was so happy to see how he was smiling and happy thinking about his friends too.. like kusuo was happy with the time he spent with them as a normal kid. but then he was so ready to blast them with full power after both of their comments lolll. and i also found it interesting how kusuke took off his telepathy blocker when explaining why he disabled it so that his brother could know he was telling the truth. and the fact that they moved past the fact that kusuke made a limiter that completely erases kusuos powers?!??!?! and i was confused when toritsuka and kusuo moved past it so easily but. thank fuck they revisited that tidbit???? what made me sadder was the fact that kusuo wanted it so badly, and yet couldnt. because of the volcano. it was good foreshadowing when kusuo thought ‘move forwards.. theyre right. i should clean this up quickly’ in the first part of the episode and then to have this too.. the emotional turmoil is too much. on one hand he could get rid of powers he hates and yet he still has to save the world which he has been putting on hold because he needs more power. like yeah please kill me now, especially that last interaction between toritsuka and kusuo. like yeah hes fake mad at toritsuka at first but then he has to give his genuine thanks because there was no way kusuo would have won if it was just himself, as toritsuka was a key part of the battle from his new powers to his status as a hostage to the fact he broke past the brainwashing.

and when they finally start planning that trip (callback to the first segment of episode one!!) and they decide upon the place where an active volcano has tried to blow up for four years. absolute madlads. kusuo diverted them at first but its a comedy anime too- ofc they are going to oshimai.

and everyone asking why he cant go is hillarious too.. “what plans do you have?” “im sure its nothing important!” ‘im saving the world?!’ yeahhh he has to go, because he cares. he doesnt want them to cancel what they think is their last fun time together before third year. its not because his mom forced him. its because he loves them. the cumulation of four years with these losers has made kusuo soft for them.

when they actually get to oshimai, i would have loved to watch their shenanigans. im sure they are chaos incarnate while on a play date with each other, but i really liked how the anime showed the tension that kusuo had. even as the rest of them were having lighthearted conversations, there was always a pit in my stomach as kusuo continued to refer to the mountain and was generally downcast while the group did all of those activities i would have previously have laughed at if it was not for the huge threat right there and despite the fact that kusuo looks the same as always (silent, in the background, neutral face) i felt nervous because he had said so just barely a minute ago and hadnt mentioned again. its shown through the way he allowed teruhashi to do as she pleased, how he would look at the mountain constantly, not say anything mentally to the audience.. it was offputting and really set the vibes. his face reflected in the window, with owari yama right there too? perfect way to end the segment.

i found it clever how saiki used a previous part to help him: the robot. he now knows that nobody suspects anything if he just says ‘yare yare’ and he now uses this with his hypnosis (seen in many episodes, such as s1 ep 24) to mesh together a perfect stand in (according to his friends OOF). and then he uses the clones (from s2 ep22) to help with the eruption (s2 ep13). not only that, his plan is pretty good. he has already used toritsuka as a stand in (when kusuo turned kaido and nendo into stone) and then aiura has already helped him with a previous eruption which he had to turn back time on. it was also a callback to kusuo in the previous episode: no way kusuo would have asked kusuke for help on how to solve the volcano problem if they had not cleared some things up after the fight, and no way would he have if there was no power canceller, and no way if the limiter being pulled would still tell the world about his powers. this is a big climax towards things that the plot has been working towards, and it is a mix of everything: many specific instances, his training, previous lore, character development, his friends and family, kusuos priorities, his emotional stances. they all played some sort of part in his plan to enable time to move forwards.

i was concerned to see him beat up (because looookkk hes just two years older than mee and also pretty oppp) but i was so fuckin pumped that time was moving forwards and he was also pretty happy, given the smile. and the joy immediately left. because everyone showed up, and then to show that alternate universe where things were almost the same but slightly different?? and the fact that kusuo literally told all of them about his powers because he knew he could go back in time and erase all of that? its killing me because he did that because he knew he could experiment for a reaction and then erase it as if nothing actually happened. and it really seems like theres no getting out of it right. his friends saw him, they see the clones, they see toritsuka faking as kusuo, they see the real kusuo holding the ground and preventing the eruption. theres no lying to get out of it. but the same as i thought from the shipwrecked episodes, of course saiki kusuo gets out of it. kaido realises it too and he just wants the truth because he trusts kusuo so much. its been there since the beginning, how much kaido cares about saiki and wants him to be happy because kusuo has made kaido happy, and how much kaido values their friendship. he has always wanted kusuo to remain safe and happy and to be friends with each other.. we see how the rest of them just want kusuo to tell the truth, because they will love him no matter what. and it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about the powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and somehow its nendo who is the reasonable one, we have seen him be kind and understanding towards both kusuo and others at so many instances but it is this one that touches kusuo because nendo has always been there for him, throughout all sorts of situations. sure he is dumb, but nendos strength is not athletics. it is his kindness. 

then the fact that everyone agrees with him.. theres no way this is a comedy anime. this is a slice-of-life coming-of-age angst/horror anime which has comic relief.  it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about kusuos powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and he knows that even if it is a different timeline, that they would still remain the same in the stance. so he speaks. with his mouth. its huge!! his eyes are shiny because this is absolute confirmation that they would love him even if they knew that about him, because he has given them the same treatment- he has seen a huge part of them that they dont share, and he still loves them, so the opposite is also true. ..but he cant share it yet, not until his powers are gone of course. and it makes sense, of course. if i was one of his friends, i would prefer learning about that after his powers are gone- and this is a decision he is sure about. kusuos powers have caused him so much suffering. while he has many typical teenager traits, he is all in all, incredibly different due to his enlarged responsibilities over himself and the world. sure, his powers have helped him in many situations, but for kusuo, the bad outweigh the good and this has been his ultimate goal for a very long time. while removing his powers will not get rid of the weirdness surrounding him, it will get rid of a lot of the pain and stress. and i was so fucking excited when hairo said that kusuo called everyone over- because we the audience know what will be happening. and it would definitely be for the best, as kusuo really wants to apologise for many of the things that happened because of his powers. 

and then the fucking window.

then this is why im very happy for the watch order to be posted. because this cliffhanger is too much without reawakened episode 6.

i find it so funny that while kusuo has lost his powers, that he still has the ability to break the fourth wall. when asked if his delusions are the same as kaido in middle schooler syndrome, he has to reply with an “absolutely not”. i love how he is feeling the effects of losing his powers. he has relied on his powers as another limb his entire life, and they are suddenly gone. even if they are overall bad, he still used them daily and isnt used to life without it because he was forced to live with it previously, meaning that he would find some use through the disadvantages. i also really liked how while kusuo could very blatantly feel the loss, he could also appreciate the beauties of normal life. actually be able to see his friends rather than just a skeleton, probably have a peaceful sleep, any of those powers he couldnt turn off have finally done so and he has a lot less weight as a result. it is really interesting to watch him try and get out of situations he would have previously avoided using his powers, as he has to rely on his own intuition and chance rather than himself and his abilities. 

but it is an anime, and god hates him, so kusuo is stuck with teruhashi on their project. he sees the disadvantages everywhere- things that normal people are used to but he is not, and it seems like good representation for disability- having something and then suddenly having it gone, so you are only left with routines that are no longer possible because you are missing a key component. and not only that, there are hinders towards kusuos journey. 

he gets a fucking bookshelf toppled over onto him. huhhhhhh???? would you really go so far as to kill a kid for accidentally becoming partners with a girl for one school project?? and i was also confused until i saw nendo- in all his glory. seriously, this guy is insanely good at protecting people without a single thought beforehand (he has to get it from his dad right). and not only that, we watch toritsuka and kuboyasu against the bullies- two people insanely good at beating people up. this is a great place to show some character development- nendo gives a speech to kusuo about how even the strongest can need protecting, and it is shown with how nendo instinctively went to protect him from the bookcase and toritsuka/kuboyasu went to beat up the ones who caused it.. finally kusuo himself can get protected by his friends. because he isnt used to it in the slightest. he desperately wanted to get rid of the powers without fully realising how much he relied on them for daily life. even in dangerous situations he would subconsciously rely on powers he doesnt have anymore, and he even realises it and doubts his decision. but nendo comes in and saves it and i find that very precious and important to kusuo to realise that he doesnt always have to be the overpowered one because there are people around him who still care regardless.

but it doesnt last. he cannot even get used to having no powers because they come back only two days later. the way it was presented was pretty cool, too, with how kusuos hand made an indent into the wall from where he slammed it, to the thought bubble from kusuke. and i also thought the way the dawning horror was shown was pretty cool. the purple and blue spirals towards a terrified kusuo without his limiters or glasses, at night, while kusuke continues talking and says that kusuo has evolved past being human in order to control his powers? yeah terrifying, i felt the horror in me too. because how long had he been evolving for? if hed gotten rid of the powers faster, would it have worked? if he hadnt spent so long on the volcano, could he be normal? was he ever actually normal? was it only recently since his body had changed to adapt? because with his body, kusuo relies on his powers. it could be compared to another heart, or a limb. his body needs powers because that is what they are used to. eyes that see through skin, a brain that can hear thoughts, muscles that are used to carrying boulders.. the list goes on and it shows that he has no choice but to use powers, as his mind has always been on fixing problems using parts of him that he has always had, his own biology has been on that. yeah psychological horror much.

the fact that it doesnt work. being told to live normally and peacefully without thinking about his powers doesnt work. because kusuo is far too used to them, he doesnt even think before using them for the little things in daily life such as opening the door or pushing in his seat. its like a papercut on your finger and only then do you realise how much you use that finger all the time- he doesnt realise it until its too late. and then he continues to remain ignorant until it actually happens, such as clairvoyance and new (useless) powers forming. he is already too used to it that he uses them without realising, because that was his normal. kusuo can also realise this with his dawning terror at each thing that happens with his power, with the foreboding patterns with dark colours and his horrified face. he is trying so hard to deny it because even if there are good things that come with his powers, ultimately, they cause him suffering. but it doesnt even fucking work.

its really sad to see him accidentally use powers, as they come back swiftly. kusuo is trying so hard to deny his symptoms but there is really no use: the illness is back. he teleported home, used clairvoyance, talked using telepathy, went invisible, used psycokinesis, saw through someone.. theres too many to deny that his powers are back. but kusuke asks valid questions: did anything good happen without them? and the answer is kusuo thinking about the bookshelf incident. because there are both good and bad things from it, he had to get protected and was weakened by the fact he couldnt see it coming, but it was good to know that so many people are willing to protect him. but then theres a fucking meteor. its also a manipulative thing for kusuke to do, asking that question and then thrusting a natural disaster upon his brother going through an existential crisis. because kusuo has a choice to make. he could try and suppress the powers even further and live a normal life until the end and let kusuke deal with it as that is the path that he chose. or kusuo could accept that the powers are a part of him and that people will still love him regardless, and make the choice to save the world and possibly never live normally again. and its a shitty situation all around. a seventeen year old should not have to make such a choice.

and yet he has to. because kusuo can hear his friends pleading for help, their fear, their reactions, confusion. kusuo knows he cannot have his father do something of this scale, or let his brother do something like that to their dad. he cant let the meteor hit earth because everyone he loves is there. kusuo was always one to complain verbally(mentally) about shit he gets wrapped up in, but from the context clues and his actions throughout the series, he has shown just how much he cares and tries to help even with how much he drags his feet and complains and insults. because all kusuo wants is for his friends to be happy, and to live normally. but those two things cannot coexist, at least not for long. and then he smiled. he chooses their happiness, because that is the kind of person kusuo is. he has said that he is a psychic in so many situations and for so many reasons, but at the start and end of the series, it is the same ten words.

“so my life of peace is over, but i feel that is not so bad after all.. perhaps i like to deal with hassles after all. yare yare. my name is saiki kusuo. and i am a psychic.”

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[glass-trash-bab]

Augh I love my dnd character so much. I love him so much. And I love all the characters from his backstory that the rest of the party doesn't know yet.

I have so much love for them and I can't even form a coherent thought.

Also hi mutuals I'm sorry I haven't posted shit all yeah. I'm knee-deep in this dnd hyperfixation and almost everything I'm drawing is revolving around that.

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

[savi-our]

Anti-Harem with OP Mage MC pt. 2

Right so... this is longer than i intended and more detailed than intended, i humbly ask for your forgiveness for this reading more like a fanfic one-shot 😭 Theres just so much you can do with this idea and i wanted to do the SF brothers justice, this is less anti-harem centric and more daily life of MC centric so do what you will with it - id love to hear some thoughts on this though, im genuinely considering writing a full blown fic abt this prompt and writing out ideas here helps convince me. Also watch me turn SF Sans into a closeted fangirl in real-time bc i CAN and i WISH TO and i WILL... tee hee 😍 HT for next part maybe? idk hdafejkkl

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Months passed since the new recruit arrived, and you had spent most of those months avoiding the household all together, not that any of them were in any hurry to seek you out. Actually - apart from passing glares and avoidant glances the skeletons had seemed to avoid you all together now, and it didn't take you long to realize that it was the newbies doing. It seems the brothers had already begun to switch all their official mage dealings with the newbie, and you overheard them one night speaking of how nice it'll be once you were gone. It hit you hard, the unbridled JOY that came from those words. The first smile in months had graced your expression, this annoying assignment would be done soon, and you didn't even have to look for a replacement. Of course there was a technical issue there, the recruit was weak, you doubted they could handle the responsibility, but you'd be damned if you had to be reassigned to the brothers again due to their own poor judgement. You set up barrier upon barrier on the furthest borders of the property, weaving old and powerful magic unseen by the untrained eye, as invisible as a spider thread in the deep dark of night.

The day came sooner than anticipated, a sunny morning wrapped in late spring dew when an official courier brought you the sealed reassignment papers, you wasted very little time. There were no goodbyes, nobody to see you off, no see you laters. You just packed your bags and left, deciding to celebrate your release from this mock hell with a feast of your own making. 

Days passed easily after that, your new assignment had been similar in that you were still expected to deal with monsterkind. As the official top ranking mage you were expected to oversee the immigration process of the newer species - finding them homes and determining the new borders, on paper that is - in actuality you were there in case it all went to shit. You were there to evaluate how big of a threat these newcomers were, and if all of it went down the drain, expectation fell to you to play both judge and executioner. It was all a terrible diplomatic hassle, endless meetings with diplomats and officials from both sides, meetings with the kings and queens, correspondence between the Archmage and the people on the ground, endless evaluations and negotiations. Where they lived, were they safe, were they able to integrate, political and financial concerns, provisions and temporary shelters were now your everyday cause for headache. It was there you met a pair of somewhat similar faces.

 Black and Mutt were skeletons, and that fact had not given you the best first impression - unbecoming of you perhaps, to judge a book by its cover, but months of threats and insults could change even the most unbiased of people. The two were a tad different from the others however, something you found curious if not a bit strange, they were… respectful, if not a bit stiff. Charged as part of the Royal Guard - they worked closely with the rulers of Mtt. Ebbot, so you saw them often escorting officials to and from meetings. You had no reason to approach them, coming from the other side as you were, you technically outranked them quite a bit in the merging hierarchy, but it was one stormy night that made you all grow quite a bit closer in an alarmingly short period of time.

A pack of fiends had snuck their way into one of the lesser guarded shelters outside of Mtt. Ebbott, cunning creatures that fed off of magic. They were hardly a threat alone, even an apprentice mage could take on two by themself - unfortunately due to that fact they tended to gather in numbers, the recorded largest amount was around forty if you remembered right, this however, this was beyond your imagination.

You should have predicted it,it was your miss, your meager miscalculation, of course they would be drawn here, a cave sealed off for centuries, brewing magic for centuries, a breeding ground for anything magic, broken for the first time in centuries. You responded quickly, but by the time you got there it was already chaos, the loud thrum of magic permeated the air and both monsters and humans were rushed off of the scene, the ground was bloodied, a sign that you were already late. You assessed the scene as you rushed past the terrified civilians, you would need to clean it up quickly. 

The resisting force had taken damage but they were holding, human and monster guards stationed at the furthest gate fighting off the onslaught of fangs and burning eyes. You took notice of the two skeletons fighting beyond the gate, they worked well together, soldiers of significant skill - you sped past them, an order to pull back immediately flew past your lips and you moved further into the swarm, Black had called after you but you tuned it out, as daunting as the situation seemed it was still below your paygrade.

It was a single spell, a light that lit up the sky, a deafening bang that rattled the ground and the job was done. Your hands stung from the forced speed of the cast, but you remained unscathed as you stood among the scattered ashes, burning flesh permeated the air. You sighed, the ever present mountain of paperwork on your desk was bound to double in size.

It was all damage control after that, rushed orders to your subordinates and rebinding of the barriers, but when you stepped past the gate once again to scout out the surrounding for any remaining threats is when the two skeleton guards approached you, they demanded to go with you- well the shorter one did anyway, it made your brows raise - there weren't many people left in the world that demanded things from you. You looked them both over, amusement in your eyes, and agreed, a challenge to keep up on your tongue.

After that things had slightly shifted, the skeletons greeted you upon meeting, saluted you upon leaving, you began to notice more monsters approach you with official papers or directives, it was an odd thing, mainly because you reflected on how joined it seemed all of a sudden. Before the attack you were mostly responsible for the human mages and soldiers on base, now it seemed your responsibilities grew their own legs and danced around the monsters as well. You saw more of the skeletons, Black in particular seemed curious, even though he never admitted it or outwardly showed it, it was subtle but you noticed, he often joined you for your nightly rounds even when not required to, it was a bit awkward at first, silent patrolling of the grounds, you had nothing to really speak about, and it seemed neither did he. You could not for the life of you figure out why he took such a sudden interest in your company but you also were curious how long he would keep it up, besides, having him accompany you seemed to put the other monsters at ease.It was on one of those rounds when you finally addressed him, he seemed surprised that you had, shoulders stiff, back straight as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“Don't you have more important things to do?” You asked, the question seemed harsh, but its harshness dissipated by the lightness of your tone, echoed by the stone hall in the moonlit night. He had opened his mouth but it was a moment before he responded, seemingly not expecting conversation, he turned away clearing his throat as he set himself to rights.

“OF COURSE NOT, THE SECURITY OF THESE GROUNDS IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE. CONSIDERING THE DISASTER FROM TWO WEEKS AGO ITS MORE EFFICIENT TO DO IT MYSELF.” 

You hummed, continuing to walk, listening to the sharp sound of his footfalls a step behind you.

“Would it not be better to split up then?” You asked, your tone still light, your eyes observing him with a knowing glint.

“W-WELL YES, BUT FOUR EYES ARE BETTER THAN ONE, AND IT WILL SAVE TIME IF WE DO SPOT SOMETHING AND NEED A MESSENGER.”

And your guess proved right, his reasoning was weak at best, there was no need for both of you to do rounds together - you could clock a threat miles away even in the pitch black, and you knew for a fact that Black could handle himself well enough, and yet he seemed to want to be in your shadow all the same, you chuckled, but did not voice your thoughts. 

Your relationship seemed to steadily improve after that, every now and again you would walk the shelter grounds together, and every now and again you'd exchange conversation albeit a short one, but it beat the awkward silence that was there in the beginning.

Mutt was different, he didn't seem to hold as much intrigue towards you as his brother, he was more so there by default as he seemed to almost always stay by his brother's side, in fact the only time you saw either of them apart was when Black joined you in securing the premises. The taller brother was an enigma, you had not heard him speak once since your assignment, a part of you wondered if he even could. But he didn't seem outwardly volatile either, more so apathetic towards the goings on around him. That opinion switched one busy day where a scheduling error had made the three of you take an overnight shift guarding a group of pompous diplomats. It was a nightmare, twelve straight hours of listening to empty boasts and endless rants about the economy, even you had begun to space out, this was probably worse than those month long scouting missions in Siberia you were forced into back in training.

 You noticed the brothers were reaching their limit as well, you worried Black would leave indents in his skull with the force he was gritting his teeth and you were sure Mutt was half asleep as he wobbled on his feet, skull falling every odd minute or so. 

It was a couple hours later when you found out you were scheduled for two more babysitting sessions except they were both at the same time, and both had human and monster envoys, Black seemed to mirror your frustration as you checked and rechecked the schedule. 

One way or another you had organized a lower ranking mage qualified for escort duty to take your place for one of them, and Black had given his brother the order to attend the same one as you as he himself took the other, rushed words of “IT’LL BE QUICKER IF EACH OF US TAKES ONE.” after which you parted, the vote of confidence made you chuckle.

It was another four hours when you wondered if Mutt had passed away standing on his feet, he hadnt moved in a good hour or two, and skeletons didn't need to breathe so he remained deathly still. He stood behind the officials chair like a statue carved from marble, quite an unsettling sight considering the early hours of the morning and the sharp looming shadows casting off of him. The human envoys seemed to agree with you, considering the nervous glances being cast his way amidst the conversation, and you couldn't help but find the situation amusing. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep or the frustrations of your job but you decided to hurry the meeting along with a mischievous play of magic, lest you join Mutt in his nap. A moving shadow here, the caw of a crow there and what do you know, suddenly all business has been magically taken care of.

You had woken the looming skeleton with the good news and watched as he attempted to stifle a yawn, he had checked his phone and noted that his brother had not been graced with the same fortune as you. You had asked if he would wait - a nod, you offered your office - a moment of silence, but after a while, another nod.

It was another hour at your desk, finishing up some paperwork when you heard gentle snoring on your office couch, a comfy thing that had served you many times for a bed in the days where your job kept you from home, the sound made you blink slowly to the skeleton that occupied it.

Your own exhaustion made you zone out in thought, the sight had an enviable peacefulness to it, it's perhaps why you didn't notice the phone that fell with a quiet thump out of Mutts pocket. It vibrated, once, twice, then for a third time, screen lighting up repeatedly. You rose from your seat, bones popping as you sighed and made your way over, if it was Black then it was probably asking where Mutt was, you should wake him.

Is what you thought anyway, what ended up happening was you being trapped in an iron grip stuck to a dead asleep skeleton. It happened so quickly and out of nowhere that you didn't even have time to process it, the long hours awake didn't help either. One second you're reaching for his shoulder and the next you're halfway on top of said skeleton, limbs wound around limbs. You blanked, what even was this situation, you never took Mutt for a cuddler, his grip is crushing, impressive for someone with no muscle, wait hold on.

You attempted to pull away, but the answering growl and tightening hold let you know that the skeleton didn't agree with that choice of options, subconsciously or not. Waking him up seemed a thing that you should do, but the option flew right out of the door once you thought about how this would all register with him once he woke up, it was embarrassing really. You attempted once again to move off of him but he turned, and dragged you along with him further into the couch. Ah, you had made it worse. Couch cushions pressed in your back and a very large and a very asleep skeleton pressing you into his ribcage, it seems he intended to keep you for a body pillow, now what.

The door slammed open and you blanked once again, this was a nightmare, you prayed it wasn't some disgruntled diplomat come to complain to you about something. You attempted to lift your head to see but the grip on you made your back pop and you groaned, breath knocked out of you.

“MUTT! WHAT IN TORIEL'S NAME ARE YOU DOING GET OFF THIS INSTANT!! NOW YOU DOG! OFF!” The yelling was familiar and for a second you felt relief, and then dread all over again as vertigo hit you. In his panic he had rolled, rolled right off the couch and onto the cold hard ground and had taken you with him. You groaned again as you attempted to get your bearings, lifting your gaze only to be met with bright purple, you blinked and watched as slowly but surely confusion turned into realization and then straight into horror, the brightness of the flush on Mutt’s face was there for half a second before he was gone, disappearing into thin air. 

It took you a while to process the whole thing , even longer to reassure Black that it was an accident on his brother's part and that you were partly to blame for the situation as well. By the end of it all it was safe to say that you were exhausted, so you had locked up and went home, it was the morning after that you noticed that the lanky skeletons phone was still innocently laid on your carpet. You snorted, wondering whether or not the silent guard dog would come knocking on your door before late, or if it would be his ever principled brother in his stead.

[dear-ao3]

another f1 question from me bc i'm new, why do we not like the mclaren team

aright well without getting too into it because im going to get into it on the update post:

mclaren have 2 drivers: oscar and lando

lando has been with mclaren since 2019, has been signed with them the whole time hes been in f1. oscar has been with mclaren since 2023, has also been with mclaren the whole time hes been in f1

theyre both very strong drivers. mclaren is a top 4 team (theres 10 teams). they have the fastest car this season. they have been very consistent the whole season. oscar is the only driver to have finished every single race this season, lando has had only one dnf in a full length race. theres been 16 races this year, of those 16 races at least one mclaren driver has been on the podium for 13 of them. (most of any team)

anyway

red bull have been dominating the last few years. last year red bull won all but one race and max verstappen won all but three races. max won the drivers championship by like 250 points or something and red bull won the constructors championship by something insane like 400 points (not exact but u get the idea)

this season red bull is still on top but only by a little bit.

in the constructors (team) championship, red bull currently has 446 points. mclaren currently have 438. they are rapidly closing the gap to red bull (despite only winning three races this season) because both of their drivers are very consistent and they have a good car.

however. the drivers championship.

max currently is leading with 303 points. lando is in second with 241. charles (of ferrari) is in third with 217 and oscar is in 4th with 197.

there are still 8 races to go.

now it would be Hard for lando to win the drivers championship at this point, but it is not impossible. he is also definitely closer than oscar is. normally what happens is that a team picks one driver to prioritize because theyre more consistent/experienced/have more points/have a better chance at winning etc etc. lando has been doing better than oscar has in that regard (hes won 2 races, oscar has won one, lando has 4 pole positions this year, oscar has none, etc whatever)

despite this, mclaren are not prioritizing either of their drivers. the owner of the team, zak brown, has said now multiple times that they have "two number 1 drivers" which is weird. because lando is actually close to catching max in the championship. and this is not a chance btw that comes around all the time. f1 is a lot of luck, a lot of chance and then also skill. you can be the most skilled driver, but if your car sucks youre not going to win. mclaren have the fastest car, two very strong drivers and a solid chance to win the drivers championship with lando and the constructors championship as a team, but despite that, they are not prioritizing lando.

meaning that there are no team orders to have lando be running in front of oscar if the two cars are right next to eachother in position, theres no rules to not pass eachother, theres no rules for oscar to protect lando if he is leading. the only real rule seems to be to not hit eachother but they can race eachother (meaning the team wont say that one car needs to finish above the other car) which again, when you have a driver that is in contention to win a world championship, that is kind of insane.

so first there was a race a few races ago where lando was in first and got team orders to let oscar who was in second get past him so that he could win because oscar had been leading the whole race up until possibly the weirdest pit stop call mclaren could have made that essentially put lando in front of oscar. lando gave them a hard time about it but ultimately let oscar win because they told him that if he wanted to win a world championship that he was going to need oscars help (like as a number 2 driver)

so now this past weekend oscar passed lando on the first lap and took the lead (lando starts first and oscar started i think it was second) because there were no team orders for him to not do that. then towards the end oscar was in second and lando was in third (charles was in first which was something that mclaren let happen but thats not important right now) and the cars were close enough that they could have swapped positions. mclaren would have gotten the same number of points but lando would have gotten more points than oscar which would have helped him individually in the drivers championship because max was finishing behind him and this was a race where he was closing the point gap to max. but, mclaren didnt make that team orders call. so oscar finished second and lando finished third.

so essentially landos shot at a world championship title is getting bongled because of mclaren's inability to make the decision as to which driver is their number 1 driver.

so much so that nico rosberg (who was a part of one of the most infamous teammate rivalries where both him and lewis hamilton were at eahcothers necks for a championship title) has told mclaren now not once but twice that they need to make a call as to which driver is their number 1 driver because its going to hurt their drivers and also the team in the long run.

now none of this is oscar or landos fault. there could be contract stipulations that are preventing mclaren from picking a number 1 driver (oscars manager, mark webber, was an infamous number 2 driver to sebastian vettel during the time seb won his 4 consecutive championships so its possible that he might have something in oscars contract to prevent the same thing from happening to him or whatever) or it could be something else. reguardless, its clearly a team problem and not a driver problem. the drivers are there to race and if the team tells the two of them to race eachother they are going to race eachother. both of them are strong drivers and they want to win. but because the team is letting the two of them waste time racing eachother it opens the door for other people to win or for them to lose points or for lando to not end up winning the drivers championship.

its kind of confusing. but tldr: mclaren refuse to prioritize one driver over the other and theyre throwing away their chances at winning the championship because of it

will buxton (who infamously has some bad opinions but didnt on this one) summed it up really really well in the post race show this past weekend

[cameoliob]

what are your headcanons for kallus and jovan? how did they get together? who fell first and whose heart broke first? do they still hate each other when kallus joins the rebellion or do they simply act like the pettiest bitches towards each other? enquiring minds want to know

ANON THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS IVE BEEN WAAIITTTIINNNGG

Before I get into this I have to legally preface that 1. I’m a Kallus from the lower levels truther + I operate off the assumption that he does not have any family and that plays a decent role in what's going on 2. We dont know alot about Jovans personality so I lowkey just go off vibes but in my brain, teenage him is starry-eyed, a little naive, but SO kind. Older him is a little bit of a douche (not terrible, just the kind of guy that you have to scoff at whenever they talk too much). 

Okay I have a whole headcannoned timeline so im gonna lay this out for u

It's 19 BBY, the empire just started enlisting and all the rich Coruscanti kids are FIGHTING for a chance to go to the academy because “wow that sounds so much more fun than regular university.” Jovan is a part of this demographic. 

So you’ve got this whole class of rich kids doing rich kid things, and Jovan is having a great time; it’s the fourth week of school, he’s found his friend group, he gets along great with his bunk mates, everything is fantastic.

Except theres just this one… fucking guy…

This guy is in, like, half of Jovans classes and Jovan just can’t stop thinking about him because where in stars name did this skinny, scrappy, snappy, kid with a gnarly side eye come from???? Why is he so sickly looking???? And so mean????

And Jovan’s always been a curious guy, he wants to figure out what this guy’s deal is so he, of course, takes it upon himself to befriend this Edward Cullen looking ass dude. Easier said than done; Jovan finds out very quickly that Kallus does not trust easily and it takes at least three weeks of Jovan forcing his friendship on him (inviting him to sit with him in the mess hall, offering to help with assignments, sitting next to him in class, ect.) for Kallus to hold a full conversation with him. 

From there, though, it gets easier. Turns out that Kallus is, quite possibly, the coolest guy Jovan has ever met. He doesn't gaf about what people think about him, he’s gotten into fist fights before (real ones, not sparring!), he fucking parties, he fucks, he can hotwire a speeder, he’s so naturally smart, and cunning, and resourceful– Jovan is completely entranced by this guy. 

^^^(completely entranced by this guy.. I never said Jovan had good taste)

In the meantime, Jovan helps Kallus out with some of the pre-req classes needed for their first year, because as cool as he is, Kallus is not good at physics. 

By the end of their first year at the Academy, Jovan and Kallus become very close. It’s that kind of friendship between guys that, if you saw it from an outsider's perspective, you’d be like, “oh… are they..?? Do they..????? What???” but tbh they don't even think about it because they’re too busy being stupid

Now, the imps do NOT like taking days off, BUUUUT all those rich families donating to the academy do, so I imagine that– at least in the first few years of the empire– the academy had a short, 3 or so week long summer break. 

So we get to break, and Kallus is like “oh wait, I don’t have anywhere to go over break, guess I’ll just rough it out on the streets for a few weeks ig. Nothing new tbh.” And Jovan is like, “What???? No???? You’re not doing that????” and Jovan invites Kallus to tag along on his family vacation (idk where they go, maybe like Naboo or smth, I didn't think that far). Kallus obviously accepts. 

So they go on this vacation, and Jovan is thinking to himself, Waiiiiiittttt a minute………. I actually have wanted him so bad for like 3 months. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite him, like I’m gonna blow my cover fuckuckufckufcjukcf.  But he’s like not trying to do anything about it because he’s all nervous. But THEN, last week of vacation Kallus is like. “I actually think that you should let me kiss u on the mouth.” and Jovan is like “okay bbg say less.” (Jovan fell first if that wasn’t clear)

(This situation is about to get ALOT gayer)^^^

AND THEN THE BREAKUP

They graduated the academy a year prior, Kallus has been doing his ISB training, Jovan has been doing whatever tf you do to become a lieutenant. They’ve been together for four-ish years atp. 

Kallus is SO locked in with his ISB training. Like he was a dedicated student before (he was top of his class for a reason), but this is borderline obsession. He’s never home, always working, always tired, ect ect. In the meantime, Jovan is climbing the ranks and he is lowkey kind of power tripping over it. He’s getting kind of entitled, a little passive aggressive, and is not really putting effort in tbh.

So Jovan is all annoyed because Kallus is always at work and he literally just wants to hang out with his boyfriend. Tbh, he thinks that Kallus is getting way too ambitious way too quickly.

And Kallus is all annoyed because Jovan isn’t giving him any good reasons to leave work, in fact, Jovan has been grating his nerves lately because he doesn’t do anything. Jovan isn’t ambitious enough. 

The resentment is BUIILLLDDDIINNNGGG

The night they break up is FUCKING CRAZY, OKAY

Jovan picks a fight because he fucking feels like it and Kallus is not having ANY OF IT. Huge blowout fight ensues; Jovan says something classist or something, Kallus calls him an “entitled, prissy twat,” Jovan tells Kallus with the “you wouldn’t have even graduated without my help,” Kallus fuckinf kicks the wall or something, Jovan starts yelling about the drywall, Kallus is like “okay, fuck you AND your goddamn drywall,” and JUST LEAVES

The next day Jovan comms Kallus like “bbg pleapelaleapsleapsleaplsea I messed up im sorry plzplzpzpzlpzlzpzlzp” and Kallus ignores the hell out of him. 

Kallus is pissed because tbh if things just went better, he honest-to-god would have married that man, but noOOOooOOooO, Jovan had to be STUPID

AND THEN SIXTEEN YEARS LATER KALLUS ARRESTS THAT HO and he is SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT

But then Jovan shows up in the rebellion and Kallus is so annoyed. 

Because for 1. He is kind of prissy and self important and most people would agree with that 2. No way they ended up in the same place after 18 years, that is so bs, and 3. It’s so awkward that Jovan has all of this info about who Kallus was growing up, and the life he lived before going into the ISB– in fact, he probably knows more than anyone in the Ghost crew just because he was there– and that is so mortifying

Jovan is so stoked

Because for 1. Kallus did all that work in the ISB only to end up a rebel anyways and that is hilarious 2. He has so much mildly embarrassing material about him in his back pocket. But tbh it’s kind of bittersweet for him because Kallus is his One that got away (He was planning on going RING SHOPPING, and then he got BROKEN UP WITH, what the FUCK) and he always reasoned with it by thinking that Kallus was irrevocably changed by the empire, and the Kallus he fell in love with wasn’t going to come back. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT HE IS BACK– yeah, he’s got a beard now, and he pretends to be all serious, but he’s the same snarky, cunning, side eyeing idiot that he fell for. And he knows he can't have him because that train has LEFT THE STATION

^^(This art is old so its a little jank but shhhhhhhhh, its the vibes that matter)

So he obviously deals with this by selling embarrassing pictures of Kallus from their academy years to Sabine, because that’s probably the best revenge he’s going to get.

Kallus is obviously over him, and has been for a LONG time, he just doesn't like Jovans personality, and Jovan kinda wants Kallus back but apparently that's not an option so they do end up creating a dynamic where they are so petty to each other when they get the chance. (Which is not often because the rebellion is big and if they can avoid each other, they will.)

[crazychaoticizzy]

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship Part 2

feat. Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner

Part 1

Continuation of that one trend that was popular forever ago because why not

WARNINGS: fluffy, Hange is written with they/them pronouns

Word Count: 683

Navigation

AOT Masterlist

LEVI ACKERMAN

He will literally just stare at you with a straight face

Let’s be real he probably doesn’t care (I’M SORRY-)

And it ends and there’s no more audio and your phone is still recording as you just kind of stare back at him

You hold intense eye contact for what feels like literal hours before you grab your phone from the kitchen counter and stop

You awkwardly apologize and play it off as wanting to do a funny video before running off to the bathroom and beating yourself up over this

When you finally calm down you walk out and tell Levi that your roommate called and they need help with something

He most likely will never bring it up again and if/when one of you ask the other out. he’s gonna pretend that’s the first time anything feeling related had been done

But in theory if he does care, don’t be surprised when the next day there’s flowers on your counter that your roommate brought in

Theres a handwritten note hidden in the blossoms that has the kind beautiful poetic writing that people dream of getting (he asked Hange what to write and they found something on Pinterest)

It practically summed up that he would like to be more than friends as well, and asked you out to dinner

Of course, it was fron Levi

And of course you accepted his dinner date

ERWIN SMITH

He had zero clue what you’re doing

Honestly I don’t even think he noticed cause he was working on paperwork or something

He probably heard the sound but didn’t register it and just said “Y/n, I’m working”

It’s a lesson to not bother him while he’s working and actually talk to him when you have his attention 💀

So the trend didn’t work but hey you actually talked to him about it later!

And hey he probably returns those feelings and starts slacking off a tiny bit for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

But yes afterwards you actually confess to him and he is appalled

But he does like you back and so he kisses your hand and asks you out like the gentleman he is

HANGE ZOË

Hange was actually escatic

Like jumping off the walls escatic

Y’all were on a walk in the park and you suddenly stopped and told them you wanted to film a cute video because the scenery was nice

They were kind of confused at first but then the sound played more and they jumped up and wrapped their arms around you so tight you swear you saw Jesus for a moment

They gave you a big, sloppy smooch so close to your mouth they almost kissed your lips

And then they kind of lifted you off the ground and yelled that they like you, too

You got some weird looks but it doesn’t matter because they kissed your cheek again and said “you’re my significant other now” with the cheekiest smile it was so cute

And y’all turned your walk into a cute date and lived happily ever after

REINER BRAUN

You guys were making pumpkin bread (mostly because I’m craving that right now but that’s unimportant)

You literally got your phone out while you were stirring the batter and started to set it up

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

And then you told him immediately after you wanted to make a tiktok and he just let you

He was listening to the sound in case it was one of those traps where you played the pornhub theme to get his reaction

And he watched as you set it up directly in front of where he was making the sugar topping for the loaf

A smile crossed his face when he recognized the audio and he glanced down at you when you wrapped your arms around him

He brushed the sugar off his fingers and put his hand under your chin, tilting your head up

You were immediately flustered and almost regretted doing it because oh my god-

And then he kissed you

Right on camera

[agirlwithglam]

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

[radioroxx]

hi pluto i’m here to ask if u have any isat headcanons. about anybody! hope u have a good sunday :))

HAPPY SUNDAY VIA can i call you via. hello

ive mentioned my tattoo hcs before but im gonna expand on them as best i can rn because i think about it occasionally (i am making a lot of this up. right now! for you!)

ok so odile has a lower back tattoo she got in her 20s and i feel very strongly about this one 1. because i think its funny 2. because it makes her 10x cooler. the other day in my moots disc we talked about the idea of odile having a past polycule that she broke off from and so ive adopted that idea and decided the tattoo is a matching one. she does not regret it at all and is still (somewhat) in touch with her ex’s. siffrin was the first person she told about this, drunkenly btw, and for months afterwards he couldnt remember if it was Actually Real or just something his brain made up (and they were too scared to ask lol)

siffrin has star tattoos on his back and shoulders! i was considering giving him sleeves but i changed my mind,, he got them while he was still travelling on his own. possibly theres a region that is more well known for tattooing (havent decided what this would be though)! he was interested from a ‘learning about new culture’ perspective, also just because Why Not. he chose to get stars because it felt right. he somewhat regrets it. (maybe, post canon and later on their journey, he would try out something else. different designs. things inspired by his family! or things he wants to remember)

isabeau has no tattoos. not from not wanting them, but from just never really having the interest. UNTIL travelling with the party. until staying up late with sif in their shared tent and finding out that, on his travels, he learned how to (very basically) give people tattoos. and begs him for one. its like 2am and neither of them are thinking clearly so they agree. they ‘borrow’ odiles ink pot she uses for writing, a sewing needle that isa happens to have on hand, aaaand it. goes very poorly. as youd imagine. he is lucky to have the long sleeves to cover it up. whatever design theyd been going for was absolutely not achieved. but! he cherishes the memories regardless. (incredibly, they would try this twice. the second time would be after bonnie joined the crew, who would catch them awake, beg siffrin for a tattoo of their own, be told ‘no’, but would still be allowed to watch as long as they PROMISE not to tattle to madame and mira in the morning. bonnie absolutely tattles).

mira! does not seem like a tattoo person to me. i think she would be intimidated by the idea- partially in relation to the change belief, partially because she wouldnt know what to get. i like to think tattoos are probably pretty controversial to the religion… some people think they are a very powerful form of change! something you cant take back. others disagree for the same reason, that its permanent. so pre canon no tattoos for her. but!! but! as i mentioned before with siffrin getting tattoos for his family, i think mira might consider something as well (confidence boosted by the fact that the others will be matching). other than that though, it just doesnt appeal to her much.

bonnie has no tattoos also aaand it will stay that way for. a little bit. this is something that upsets them greatly because i also like to believe that nille has PLENTY of tattoos! possibly some she even got when she was much much younger! irresponsibly, of course, and many of them are regrettable. so she steers bonnie away from making that same mistake too young (tries to encourage them to wait until they are 18 at least). maybe bambouche as a whole is a very tattoo-supportive town, which is where bonnie got their interest. this does not stop them from making little paintings up their arms and having the others help out as well, to make up for it, in a non-permanent way.

i havent actually designed what any of their tattoos would look like… thats gotta be something i sit down to think about,,, one day maybe ehe

[correctproseka]

Toyafuyu and their parallels:

I did say I wanted to make this post. And Toya and Mafuyu have similar issues at home with a similar way to deal with them, so let's start.

Problems at home:

Both of them have similar problems at home, mainly with their parents.

While we dont actually know what toyamom and mafudad are doing, for barely being even mentioned, Mafumom and Toyadad are extremely similar on their behavior towards their kids.

- Toya's dad wants Toya to practice and practice piano, making him practice the entire day, even as a child, with the consequences of that, Toya didn't have hobbies, barely had any friends before (besides the Tenmas) and barely even knew what he liked.

- Mafuyu's mom wants Mafuyu to study and study the whole day, trying to make her quit archery and music so she can focus on her studies. As a consequence of that, Mafuyu didn't have any hobbies, no real friends outside if niigo and doesn't know what she likes.

Toya's dad wants Toya to be a classical musician, Mafuyu's mom wants Mafuyu to be a doctor. Both of them push their children in places they don't want to go in and have said they dont.

Both of them already had their confrontation, as of jp right now, both of their parents still disagree with what they're doing, but the difference in the acting because of it comes later.

Their mental health:

Because of their parents being both suffocating, they have similar issues.

Toya's only real friends were the Tenmas, and that was because his dad knew them, possibly he knows other people from his dad, but only the Tenmas actually became friends with him.

Mafuyu didn't have any real friends before niigo.

That made one of their differences, also will explain later.

None of them had any hobbies before music.. you could possibly count Archery as a hobby point for Mafuyu, but at least at the start she didn't feel much about it and it was probably just a small escape, a tiny start of a rebellion.

They both felt stuck, but they describe it in different ways.

Toya felt stuck inside a bird cage, forced to sing like birds.

In which he finally managed to open.

Mafuyu felt like a Marionette, making what her mom/the person in the strings asks

One that she also managed to escape

Both of them only managed to escape with the help of music and real friends (vbs and niigo).

Main differences

On how they're treated by the parents theres only a few.

Toya was able to rebel earlier, by influence of Tsukasa, not only that but he has more.. freedom to rebel than Mafuyu ever had.

Mafuyu's first rebelling influences were niigo, mainly Ena and Mizuki on this part, and even then she barely could do it without her mom taking away everything she had.

The differences in how they're treated on here may be because of the rest of the family.

Toya is the youngest of 3 songs, both of the older ones are already at classical music, so his dad can afford to have one Black Sheep, his legacy is already being fulfilled, so even if he disagrees with the style, he doesn't need to outright stop it.

Mafuyu is an only child, there's no one else to follow mafumom's dreams and expectations but her, this puts her under a tighter leash than Toya has.

And without friends, she couldn't do that first step out of that house.

Their real family

The people who help them be themselves, who let them have a break from their house, their real family and home

Mafuena and Akitoya bonus:

Imagine an akitoya image here i already did 10 images

Nothing much, just both like how lively the shinonomes are with each other, because of how cold their house are.

There is a reason both Toya and Mafuyu are associated with snow.

Bonus 2: event

Imagine an event with them, they start talking about their family to each other and bonding with similar rules and expectations, maybe Mafuyu also meets Ken as an image of a better dad. Maybe someone else is with them, someone with good parents stopping and going: that is not normal.

Just so they can grow a little bit together, find reliance on each other from their issues.

[ithaqualovers]

Hanging Out With Ithaqua

Angst... Maybe??? plus comfort? UhHh (Sorry for not posting a while y'all tsk tsk) SHORT!! //Please tell me if theres a few grammar and error mistakes '^'`// I MADE THIS AT 2 AM

Tonight, there was a lot of snow falling. Then suddenly, a snowball hit your window that got your attention. You got up to see what was happening. When you opened the window and the wind blew inside, a gust of air filled your room, and then you saw Ithaqua. "Oh, that silly bastard. What does he want?" You thought. 

“Psssst, hey!” Ithaqua called “I want to go out and have fun with you.” His cloak swayed against the cold breeze of the wind. 

“You want to see a secret beneath these woods? Come on! I know you're going to say yes to me...” “How did you know that I will agree with you?” You chuckled at your words and looked at the male. 

“No need to sound surprised. Come on, we are wasting a night for you to stay in your room!” He insisted. “It'll be more fun for me too!” At your hesitation, Ithaqua's voice grew more irritated. “... Ithaqua's getting impatient here!” He grunted. You knew you couldn't just stay in this situation. “Fine! Fine!” You grabbed your cloak and put it on. “Just.. help me get out of this... window—” Ithaqua put his hand to you. “You should have just... used your door... But anyway, grab my hand first.” He gave you a small helping gesture and pulled you out of the window. “Now follow me!” He whispered silently. There was a small trail near that spot and Ithaqua began walking fast as his stilts were making clacking sounds against the snow-covered ground. “Wait up! where are we actually going?” You raised a brow as you asked him a question as you two walked through the forest. Ithaqua glanced back to make sure you were still following him. As you two were walking, Ithaqua got a small stick in the snow. “We are near a big spot that I want to show you.” Ithaqua took your hand secretly and continued walking on a small trail. 

“You know I never told you why me and my mother live in these woods? Do you wonder why we live here?” 

“Why?” You raised a brow and you never really wondered for a long time why Ithaqua and his mother lived together in these woods. “This is a long story, but do not worry...” He stopped at a certain place, turned to you, and put his free hand on the back of your neck. “My mother found me near this place. It was the darkest night, and she was running from the law. As she was running, she saw a lifeless body like mine—I was like a pale corpse without any signs of life. And she made me live again.” The area was filled with trees and silence. You listened to him, and you were a bit shocked. 

“... How do you still remember your past...?” 

“If you only knew the things Mother taught me. I'll never forget it.” Ithaqua chuckled and continued walking. “Anyway, that's why Mother took care of me and why we live in these woods.” The woods were getting darker. You slowly nodded and looked up at the night sky. A single star twinkled in the darkness, and in that moment, you felt a sense of peace. You turned to Ithaqua. “Far away from civilization, am I correct?” Ithaqua nodded. “Yes. I was taught by Mother that civilization is... dangerous.” He was still walking with you towards one destination. 

“Mother isn't very fond of people...” Ithaqua said. You narrowed your eyes at Ithaqua. “Yes, because the people will suspect her of being a witch.” You spoke. Then suddenly Ithaqua glared at you. “... What did you just say?” Ithaqua's eyes furrowed, as he put his free hand on the back of your neck and tilted your chin toward him. His face was now near yours. “Where did you hear that from, Y/N?” You hesitated, unsure of what to say. You knew you couldn't lie to Ithaqua, he could always tell. Taking a deep breath, you finally replied, “I heard people talking about it in town...” 

“So... People think Mother is a witch. And you believed in those things they said...? Witches are not real, Y/N.” Ithaqua said sarcastically. His free hand now gently squeezed your chin softly. "Those are just made from their stupidity." The corners of his lips were curled down, and he was frowning at your hesitation. “Mother has been nice to me. She's kind and gentle.” Your e/c eyes stared into his blue eyes beneath the almond-shaped eyeholes mask. “Ithaqua... Of course, I do not believe them.” You tried to calm him down. “I do not believe what the town said, Ithaqua... I am very sorry, and I did not mean to say that... I am sorry.” You said in a nervous tone. Ithaqua let go of your chin and looked down. His face suddenly cleared from any expression. No smile, no frown, no anger. He was just staring at you. “Oh,” He muttered and turned away. After a while, Ithaqua held your hand and continued walking to a place. “You know, despite Mother's worries, I never felt a chill near her. I am always feeling the warm presence of a mother next to me.” Ithaqua said in a serious tone. You looked at Ithaqua in disbelief, not sure what to make of his words. You were about to say something but forget about it. After a while, the two arrived at the right spot. It was a small clearing in the woods with a single, giant tree in the middle. Ithaqua took your hand and made you stand close to him, in the spot. 

“Look up.” 

“Huh?” You looked up at the large tree that Ithaqua was talking about a while ago. Then you noticed something in the snow under the tree. It was a bunch of snowmen with two leaves on their heads that looked like ears and most of them looked oddly the same. “I made them for you, Y/N.” He said softly. You smiled at him, understanding his gesture. He had made all these snowmen for you, to show how much he cared. “... Thank you, Ithaqua.” You smiled warmly. “They are... adorable. They are very nice.” He smiled back at you, feeling content that you liked his gift. “Ah, you are welcome.” He gave you his cute smile again behind the mask. “The night isn't over yet.” He held your hand again. 

“I wanted to show you something else, too...” 

“Hm? What is it?” 

“Just follow me.” He walked again with you holding his hand. Soon, the two of you climbed to the top of the large tree branch. "Take a look over there." He whispered and pointed in a specific direction. “Huh, where?” You were a bit confused as you looked around. Ithaqua chuckled softly then his voice grew intense, and he looked at you, making sure you followed his instructions by looking in the same direction. “Just... take a look. You'll see something interesting. That spot where I pointed, right there.” The spot was very close to where you two were. You suddenly saw a light and it was the town. It was beautiful from afar, the colours of the light of the place blending together in the night sky. “Oh... The town...?” Ithaqua's face seemed serious while staring at it. He let go of your hand. His cold breath was now fogging up. His eyes were filled with some sort of disappointment. He seemed to be lost in thought for what seemed like a long time. What happened to him? After Ithaqua let out a deep sigh, he snapped back to the reality. “Do you think they'll ever welcome Mother in that civilization, Y/N?” He finally asked you. You looked at Ithaqua with a shock expression, you already felt how much he was struggling. Due to the few years ago when the incident happened... You didn't know what to say. You felt like you wanted to say the right thing, but you couldn't find the words. Suddenly he looked away, his gaze now fixed on the horizon. His voice was hollow when he whispered, “Never mind... Forget about it, it was just.. a silly thought.” Ithaqua chuckled nervously and breath heavily. You could see the disappointment in his eyes. He sighed again and leaned against the trunk. “So much snow fell tonight. The cold wind seems to remind me of something...” He sounded deep. “It feels... peaceful here.” He mumbled. He looked back at your face. You looked at him, unsure of what to say. 

“Y/N...” Ithaqua hesitated. 

“Huh?” You raised a brow. 

“You know... I really trust you because you are my only best friend, right?” 

“Yeah?” 

“And I... do not mean to be... intrusive, but...” His face turned serious and his eyes seemed deep. 

“Could you help me with one thing?” 

“Sure, what is it?” 

Ithaqua hesitated for a moment. “Can you... hug me? And stay with me for a while?” He finally spoke up. But he sounded a tiny bit desperate... You let out a sigh and smiled warmly, then you opened your arms and immediately hugged him tightly. You held him close and you could feel him shaking in your arms. Ithaqua felt a sudden calmness when you hugged him. He put his free hand behind your collar to pull you closer. His cold hands, but they still felt welcoming. “Thank you.” he said softly as he put his head down on top of your head, breathing slowly. “You are welcome, Ithaqua.” You saw him close his eyes. A peaceful, silent night, full of falling snow, and a feeling of peace. You felt so comfortable while hugging Ithaqua. You never felt this welcome somewhere else, even in your home. But it was different with Ithaqua. 

“You are the only person I have... Y/N. Do not ever leave me...” 

[the-s1lly-corner]

Random Eyeless Jack tongue hcs

Cw// kinda borders into suggestive territory if you squint, but nothing intentional? Writing this before actually putting down the hcs, but

Yeah

Nothing too crazy, obviously

Also cw// for body horror and shit since I also wanna dive into his whole.. how he got messed up

Getting the body horror stuff out of the way, I hope yall already know ab my whole curse hc/interpretation on jack

If you dont/if you're new; hi! Welcome to my blog! I hc that jack used to be a normal dude but got dragged into a cult that made him the way he is now!! Real important and relevant to my take on him/I haven't seen many other people use that spin on fan story for this sort of thing

Anyways

As per the whole "his body is shifting into something horrific," thing, his tongue literally. Splits into several tendrils

Havent decided on an exact number, but hes got.. a few alright!

Thick, but get thinner to the tips; and they have the same goop that leaks from Jack's eyes! Sensitive sense of taste; and he can kinda detect scents with them, like snakes do!!

His mouth is kinda crowded, though, so sometimes he'll talk with a bit of a lisp (?), or accidentally bite himself

Now onto the real horror; the process of his tongue splitting was painful, and long. He felt all of it, and given that he's literally turning into a man eating monster, he was unable to seek medical help; so he had to suffer alone and without aid

Obviously, if your tongue is splitting itself open, there's gonna be a mess plus lots and lots of pain

Poor dude

Moving on

They writhe

A lot

Especially when theres... food.. nearby; they tend to flick out (snake like!!!) If hes hungry (tends to lose himself for a while)

In the most sfw way I can say it because there is literally no way I can say it without being sus, they kinda??? Wrap around things??

Like okay I had an art idea, to draw jack with a blood-popsicle, since summer is coming; and with the previous hcs it'd make sense that his tongues would just naturally latch around it and grip said blood-pop

So that's my hc now

Also back to horror stuff i feel like that'd make his feeding frenzies all the more terrifying

I mean when he goes into one he completely loses all his humanity and thoughts and just jumps on someone

Imagine he latches onto someone and like

Idfk anchors them into the persons flesh so they cant just easily shove him off

That's terrifying

I love it sm

Downside; kissing jack is not fun since 1) it's a legitimate choking hazard, and 2) the goop makes his tongues taste gross

I feel like the goop is also, to a degree, corrosive

Or at least, an irritant

Like super powered saliva that can break down meat fast; also explains why I draw jack with huge dark circles n shit around his eyes

I bet yall (who follow my main) just thought I made him tired

Nope, it's his flesh being slowly burned away!! Granted hes more durable to it since the whole monster thing + it's his own material but

Still

So

Yeah!!!

Take what you will with these hcs

[halitis]

hal's incredibly correct opinion on dc ages (backed by Vibes and vague calculations)

prefacing this very loudly and saying that, this if dc could stick to a fucking timeline. so everything in ehere? its going off vibes and vague relations to other characters ages. obviously these are not the actual ages of the characters but its what i think they SHOULD be. organised oldest to youngest!

hal, 45: i always thought he was one of the older members of the league, though not by much. i think hes 2 years older than oliver ;p

barry, 44: idk why. but he gives me 44 year old vibes. no corrections thanks xoxo

bruce, 43: took dick under his wing when he was 19-ish, giving them a 10 year age gap. so his age is going off dick.

oliver, 43: i always see him as the same age as bruce. idc man they just Are...

selina, 42: one year younger than bruce but so incredibly barely to me. like "a year" in the way that they are probs 6 months apart or something, idk their actual birthdates.

clark, 38: i think hes similar in age to dinah, but i have No idea why i decided this... he feels like he should be older gonna be real.

dinah, 37: i always think shes roughly 6? years younger than oliver. and thats abt it on my reasoning!

jade, 35: i think she was like. 2ish, maybe 1 year older than roy when they started hooking up. but i lean more towards 2.

linda, 35: i always thought she was 2 years older than wally but i actually dont know Why i thought this... i just did.

barbara, 34: she's similar in age range to dinah, while still being a bit younger. but older than dick. they had a maybe 2 year age difference? it makes sense to me at least.

roy, 33: according to me, he had lian when he was 18/19, lian's now 14 so. thats math baby. ik technically time fuckery happened so that lian was didn't age linerally but fuck that.

wally, 33: the same age as roy. that man has kids and shit...,

dick, 32: because i always think he's 1 year younger than roy.

cassandra, 29: she was like. 17 when she became batgirl. that makes her like 1 (2 years could be argued) older than jason?

jason, 28: jason was 13/14 when he became robin, dick was 18 when he became nightwing so that gives them like a nearly 4 year age gap. i cant be certain tho because its kinda unclear when he actually became robin.

stephanie, 27: 1 year older than tim because she was in college while he was still in high school im prettee sure?

tim, 26: hes 2 years younger than jason, nothing anyone says will tell me otherwise. 26. do not fight me on this. (dw bbg u can escape the 17 curse in my mind)

connor (hawke not kent), 26: gonna be so real i thought he was around 28. but oliver was 17 when he was born so nvm!

duke, 24: there is a 2 and a bit year age difference between him and tim. why? uhhhh... he started signal when he was 17. im sure theres some maths in there somewhere that makes it make sense.

mia, 19: oliver was like 36? when he saved mia at age 12 so they have a 24 year age gap. for some reason was incredibly hard for me to calculate.

damian, 17: to me? hes 3 years older than lian. i also think its funny if hes rhe next to inherit the 17-year-old curse.

maps, 17: same age as damian!

lian, 14: i have no reasoning she just is. hope this helps <3

[lizaluvsthis]

How was the episode?

Once Upon an SMG4 and... gay theories-

*METAL PIPE SOUND EFFECT*

WHAT DO YOU THINK????

Oh- I think many of you guys miss how I hyperfixate some stuff out- sorry if I kinda missed some chances on using it to PV's-

I got mind block atm so I may or may not have much theories-

Spoiler theory-thoughts incoming...

I knew that Three was self aware from the beginning. I wish everyone of four's crew would break the reality. We're not even sure if this is THE crew we're watching on. Or these are fake?

He knows. Not a bit long enough for him to realize that whatever he's doing is for PV's desires to make the show on forward.

We didn't get any shots for tari. Where is tari? Where is she? Shes not here yet? Where couldve she'd been gone off to?

She knows how simulations work.

Perhaps pv kept her back to where she was trapped? During the time on that train?

What if she's locked in a prison? Or keeping herself busy with something?

Theres a high possible chance that Tari escaped and will be helping rest of her friends regain their conciousness back again. (By having a talking metallic arm she has- I think Clench might be the one who can help Tari)

Lets all say that everyone is asleep. And PV is doing literally everything to place the crew off character roles from each stories.

Meanwhile they're all trying to fight it off.

Just like how Three did. Remember when I created a hyper fixation about Three being self aware during Western Spaghetti, which whom he said he'd been asleep for a hundred years that felt like it.

Almost too real for him that he jinxed it-

Now that he's trying to wake himself up from this nightmare hole, he couldn't escape.

Can tari save everyone again? Will they fail? Who knows? Its only been 2 episodes for PuzzleVision's videos. Its 2 out of 3 more.

I'm pulling out that I guessed right. It was bob. Since I had a HUGE feeling that it might be bob than PV on that role.

"I wish we could all escapre from here..."

Smg4 is seen to be grinning a little. Is it because his concious mind says "he did it." ?

Is it because Four couldn't do anything because of PV? And that only Three can? Maybe four realized? Started coming back from everyones thoughts that- THIS ISNT REAL. THEY HAVE TO WAKE UP.

Besides from the main characters- what about the other people? Saiko? SMG1? SMG2? (Actually i think they both retired but who knows if they can both save the crew- high chance but not sure-) swag? Chris? Anyone at all? Where the heck is eggdog and Beeg?

They're not here- to who PV victimed. Bowser is also included. He was also shown in western spaghetti. Just like how he was also trapped with the rest. Would this possibly happen to the others if they tried to interfier with PV's job?

I mean- I dunno man-

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

I'll Look After You - Part 3 Bucky x Y/N

I feel like I'm slowly getting the hang of actually making posts on tumblr. I'm still not great but bare with me. I'm still utterly obsessed with John 'Bucky' Egan and since I'm running out of fics to read I feel I need to make my own. Part 2 kinda got away from me but I think I have a bit more of a clear direction for this now. This includes jealous! Bucky. Enjoy:

When Bucky awoke the next morning, he was dissapointed Y/N was not by his side. He had hoped he would get to see her beautiful face again when he woke up. But the chair was empty and the book left on the bedside table. She must have left once I fell asleep he tought to himself. And who could blame her? That chair hardly looked comfortable. I wonder is she working again today? Maybe she will come by again soon. He looked to the book on the table. The hairpin stuck between the pages told him there was still a few more chapters left to read. His chest swelled with hope. She might come back again tonight. Bucky thought about relaxing into the small hospital bed and being comforted by her beautiful voice once more. As he imagined that gorgeous voice, he heard it from a short distance away. Almost as if he had magically made her appear. He couldnt see her, thanks to that godforsaken curtain; but it was her. He heard her melodic laugh. Who is she talking to? Whats so funny? Bucky couldn't help it. Suddenly he felt.. jealous. Why on earth would he feel jealous? Because he wanted to be the once to make her laugh. Thats why. But Bucky did his best to quell those jealous thoughts. She was probably just talking to one of the other nurses.

'I couldnt help it, I just started spewing everywhere!' It was awful.' Bucky knew that voice. That was not a nurses voice. 'Oh Major Crosby, why on earth did you become a flight navigator if you suffered from air sickness!' She said in between giggles. Crosby. Crosby was making her laugh. Well at least she was laughing at him. 'I didnt know I suffered from it till I was already in the air! You gotta help me Y/N, I need more of the stuff the doc gave me but he's not back till Monday!' 'Okay, okay, here you go.' 'Thanks Y/N I really appreciate it.' 'No problem Major.' Bucky heard footsteps, then Croz's voice again. 'Y/N?' 'Yes Major?' 'Please, call me Harry. I was just wondering if I could pay you back, for the pills?' 'Oh theres no need Harry.' 'I know, but I want to thank you properly. Are you working tonight?' 'No, thankfully for the first night in what feels like weeks I'm off for the night.' Bucky's heart sank at this news. There goes his plans of a lovely nights sleep. 'Oh great! Theres a dance on tonight in the main hall, are you going?' 'I hadn't thought about it, but I guess it would be fun!' 'Oh great, well I'll buy you a drink there, to thank you.' 'That's very kind Maj- Harry. I'll see you there.' 'Great! I'll see you there Y/N!'

Bucky's blood boiled. Croz was going to be at the dance with Y/N. Croz couldnt even dance! She would have a terrible time with him. It should be Bucky buying her drinks and sweeping her off of her feet. Not Croz. Pukes-a-lot Croz. If only his ribs would hurry up and heal. Then he could go to the dance and show her a real good time. Bucky tested himself, trying to get out of bed. It was painful, but maybe managable? Just as his first socked foot hit the ground, the curtain swung open and there she was, Y/N.

She went to Bucky's cubile to find he was already getting to his feet. 'Haha! Great minds really do think alike! I was just about to get you for physical therapy.' Bucky looked at her like he was caught with his pants round his ankles. 'Physical therapy?' he questioned. He sat at the edge of his bed, one to look 'non-chalant' and two because he was afraid his legs would gave in from under him with the pain in his side. She smiled at him 'Yeah, didnt the doctors tell you? It's about time we get you up and moving Major! Cant expect you to be in the air if you cant even be on the ground. Come on.' She stepped close to him and held out her hands, waiting for him to take them. He stared. 'Come on, lets go for a walk.' He did want to, but he felt angry. How could she be so kind and nice and smile so beautifully at him when she had just agreed to a date with Crosby. He looked at her, eyes shining and smiling a smile that could probably wrap even Hitler himself around her finger. He gave in and put his hands in hers. It was electric. He never wanted to let go of her perfect, soft hands. He didnt think it was possible, but her smile grew even bigger. Maybe she feels it too. This connection between us. She stepped back, giving him room to stand. He towered over her. She looked up at him, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her. All her had to do was bend his neck a bit, tilt his head to the side slightly, and his lips would be on hers. But no, she was Crosbys girl. He was the one going to kiss her. His blood started boiling again at the thought. 'Lets get this over with.' He said with a scowl. The sooner this was over, the sooner he would hopefully be able to stop thinking about her. As if I could ever think of anything but her. He thought. Her smile faltered, not expecting him to be anything other than his charming self.

They made it to the hallway, their steps slow and steady so not to hurt Bucky too much. Y/N tried to be encouraging, often praising him at how well he was doing. But Bucky barely responded. Eventually, she decided the silence was too much. 'Whats your favourite type of cake?' she asked. 'What?' he looked at her confused. 'Cake! Mines chocolate. I absolutely love chocolate cake. Whats your favourite?' 'I don't have a favourite type of cake.' he said. 'You like them all then huh? That's fair. If I'm honest I like all kinds of cake. Except carrot. Carrot and cake should not mix. Everything else is great -' 'I really don't care for or about cake!' Bucky snapped. As soon as he said the words he regretted it. Her bright smile vanished, and she physically recoil from him. She put as much distance between them as she could. Deciding she no longer needed to hold his hands. He immediatly missed the warmth of her hands in his. Longed to grab them back and never let tem go. 'I think you're okay with walking. Turn around back to your bed. I'll be behind you if you need me.' Bucky didnt know what to say, so he just turned around and slowly walked back to his bed. She was right on his heels though, being a good nurse and making sure nothing happened to him. He could sense her hand hovering over his shoulder, ready to catch him if he faltered. She never said a word though. Bucky wanted to break the awkward silence, but how? He had no idea what to say. She helped him back to bed and made a quick exit. 'Anoher nurse will be around later for evening rounds. I'm done for the day.' Without another word she walked off. Bucky cursed himself. He was a dick to her even though she was always kind to him. He would be pushing her even further into Crosby's arms now.

The day turned into evening, the evening into night. Everyone else in the infrimary was asleep, but not Bucky. He didnt know what was keeping him from slumber; the thought of nightmares or the thought of her and Crosby at the dance. Y/N and Croz at that dance is my worst nightmare. Bucky realised. What if they're dancing? He's a terrible dancer. I would be far better at dancing with her. What if they're slow dancing. What if he holds her a little too closely? What if he kisses her? Bucky tried to stop his racing mind before he had a stroke. He looked at the book again. Exactly where she left it. He didnt even want to read it. He knew the story word-for-word by now. He just wanted to hear her read it. That wasnt going to be happening tonight.

Y/N was enjoying the dance. The music was great, and everyone was in good spirits celebrating someones 25th mission. Harry was ever the gentlemen, buying her a drink and making sure she was okay. She liked Harry. He was kind, funny and charming, dispite his issues with air sickness that everyone cruely made fun of him for. She sat at a table with some of the other nurses and a few soldiers. 'Would you like another drink?' Harry asked her, noticing her empty glass. 'Oh I'm fine, thank you Harry.' 'How about a dance?' his hopeful smile was too much for her. 'I'd love to.' They made their way to the dance floor, a lively jazz song being played by the band. Harry wasnt the best dancer, but he had fun and made her have fun too, which was the most important part.

After their dance, Y/N needed to catch her breath. It was then she looked up at the clock and saw the time. 'I didnt realise it was so late! I better get going.' 'I'll walk you home.' Harry said, holding out his elbow to her. 'Oh thats very kind Harry, but theres no need. I'm going to head to the infirmary to check on some patients before I go to bed. You stay with they guys and enjoy the party.' 'Are you sure?' Y/N could sense some dissapointment in his tone, but chose to ignore it with a warm smile. 'I'm sure. Enjoy yourself.' She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and headed for the door. JUst as she was about to leave, she remembered she was meant to grab something...

At midnight he was still awake. He knew the party would be ending soon. He thought of Crosby walking Y/N home. Ever the gent. What if he tried to kiss her? would she accept his kiss? He hoped not. What if she did? He couldnt help picture Harry Crosby with his hands on Y/N, kissing. Hands moving to places he would sell his soul to touch. He was fit to scream. He couldnt hack it. Just when he was about to bang his head against the wall to rid himself of the terrifying mental images, he heard a voice. 'I'm not too late am I?' I'm hallucinating, Bucky thought. The pain meds must be very strong tonight. Y/N stood at the foot of his bed. Wearing a beautiful red dress, hair in flowing waves. Red lipstick he would love to smudge. 'What are you doing here? Weren't you at the dance?' She smiled, 'I was, but when it was almost over I thought I'd come check on you. Not that you deserve it. You were very cranky earlier.' 'I'm sorry Y/N I-' she cut him off 'There's no need to appologise. Physical therapy can be very difficult. Your body has been through a lot it's okay if it takes time to recover.' She was a literal angel. After how poorly he treated her, she still showed him so much empathy. More than he deserved. Even after her date with Croz, here she was checking in on him. 'Thank you. There's no need to check on me though. I'm fine. You should head back.' She moved closer while pulling a paper bag from behind her back. 'The dance is over now. Besides, I think theres about two chapters of Great Gatsby left. I brought some treats for us to eat while we read it.' She pulled out two small pieces of cake from the bag, white frosting on each piece with jam in the middle. 'You wouldn't tell me what kind of cake you liked, turns out it didnt matter because by the time I got to it this was all that was left anyway.' Cake? She had brought him cake? She was at the dance, with another man, and she thought about bringing him cake in the middle of the night? Bucky almost cried. 'You didn't have to do that, thank you. That's very kind.' She looked at the chair next to his bed. Her back already hurt before she even sat on it. 'Do you mind moving over a little? That chair is horrendous.'

Bucky was sure he heard her wrong. She wanted to sit in the bed with him? He stuttered out a response as he slowly moved as much as he could in the small bed. 'Sure, be my guest.' She sat beside him with her back againt the headboard. The sides of their bodies touching from their shoulders to their ankles. If Bucky's heart wasnt racing before, it was now. She handed him his piece of cake and picked up the book. 'It was when curiosity about Gatsby was at its highest that the lights in his house failed to go on one Saturday night....' She read to him, occasionally taking a break to bite into her cake. They sat like that, eating and reading, with Bucky never taking his eyes off of her beautiful face. Slowly, his tired eyes fluttered closed. He dreamed of cake, Gatsby's mansion, and her.