#I've been thinking a lot about my gf and how I thought I'd get my childhood dream

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wonder what it is about breaking up with someone and starting new that I find so upsetting. I realize that people also find break ups heartbreaking, but I know I take it to an extreme. I've never liked the idea of having different partners throughout my life. The idea of having an ex has always been something I hated. The type of breakup didn't matter to me. That is to say whether we ended on good or bad terms didn't make the idea of ending a relationship better to me. I'm not trying to be pretentious about it, I'm just being fr about a sentiment I've held for as long as I can remember. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed the idea of hook ups or casual dating. For better or worse, I've always held the belief that romantic relationships should be all in and serious from the beginning.

I think this feeling is definitely exacerbated by the fact that I've been passed up for another person before so I know what it's like to have someone "move on" from you, and it genuinely sucks like all fucking hell lmao. So the idea of "moving on" and being with someone else has been incredibly tarnished for me.

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙bows before bros | LN4 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x actress!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: sooo super fluffy!!

summary: in which a trail of bows leads to everyone's new fav grid couple

a/n: feel like i havent written for lando in ages so here we are!!

request!!!: I’d like to request an au for lando where y/n’s an actress who’s getting recognized more and more, she’s really humble and sweet but pretty similar to lando as a goofy and funny girly(idk why but I picture Sabrina carpenter vibes) 🎀 if u could add a little scene of some of the f1 drivers and wags reacting to their relationship/talking to the media how they’ve never seen lando so happy. Just a sappy and goofy couple living life (manifesting✨🕯️)

fc: sabrina carpenter

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by reneerapp, sydney_sweeney, and 301,283 others

yourusername sooo where else can i put bows? 🎀

view all 6,918 comments

user1 omg the bunny is so cute im going to do that

user2 i dont wear bows in a coquette way i wear bows in an y/n y/l/n way

liked by yourusername

user3 i love seeing y/n in her movies so srs then going on her ig & it's jus this

reneerapp put them on your hand soap 🥺

yourusername you make jokes but i really will do that

user4 LOL as u should y/n!!!

user5 oh i love her

sydney_sweeney this is so real of you!!

yourusername i knew you'd get it

sydney_sweeney bows before bros ‼️

yourusername louder 🗣️

landonorris

liked by sydney_sweeney, danielricciardo, and 819,055 others

landonorris you got my heart loud.

view all 11,193 comments

user6 okay simp lando?

user7 HUH????

user8 looking a LOT like a soft launch i cant lie to u

user9 thts what i was thinking.....

user10 the bows...... anyone one else thinking what im thinking?

user11 DONT EVEN SAY IT

user12 VERY y/n y/l/n coded

user13 y/n was here vibes

oscarpiastri simp simp simp

landonorris shutup pastry boy

yourusername posted a story

liked by sydney_sweeney, daisyedgarjones, and 89,541 others

user14 so cute ily y/n

user15 my spidey senses are tingling

user16 is this a hint that ur dating lando norris.

user17 feels very very targeted miss y/n

user18 our bow queen 🙇‍♀️

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 159,701 others

user22 omg y/n y/l/n is ur gf fr

user23 never thought i'd see the day lando norris pulled

user24 THE BOW AND THE MCLAREN HOODIE AHHH

user25 the most y/n thing i've ever seen

danielricciardo she's made you soft

landonorris she definitely hasnt i'll tell you that much

danielricciardo right. not what i meant but great to know thank you so much

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,328 others

yourusername feeling orange 🍊

view all 16,754 comments

user26 oh my god

user27 is this the hard launch

mclaren your best look yet, y/n!

yourusername 🤭 feel very honoured

user28 next we want orange bows

liked by yourusername

sydney_sweeney sports 🤢 but make it girly 🎀

yourusername me with everything

landonorris it's papaya y/n we've been over this

yourusername there isnt a papaya emoji ✨🎀💕🫶🍊

user29 omg they're first public interaction...?

user30 they're in love i called it.

interviews ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 157,814 others

user36 omg lol

user37 THAT'S Y/N'S CAT

user38 lol at ur response to ur friends saying ur obsessed with a girl is to post her cat on ur story with bows on

sydney_sweeney one of us now

landonorris this feels like a cult

user39 the coquettification of lando norris

user40 the y/nification of lando norris

landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,091,727 others

landonorris my response to everyone talking about me recently is you would be the same if you bagged a girl like mine

tagged: yourusername

view all 22,183 comments

user41 A GIRL LIKE MINEEEEE

user42 how did he do it

lilymhe congratulations 🥂

carlossainz55 yippee!!

oscarpiastri we are all beyond proud of you lando

danielricciardo good for you bro

charles_leclerc happy for you

mclaren our fav girl!!

yourusername 🤭🧡

user43 all the celebrations in the comments 💀

user44 they had no faith in him fr

yourusername blushing and giggling at this!!! i love my lil lando!!!!!

landonorris you what?

yourusername i wont be taking questions at this time

landonorris you love me so bad

landonorris i love you so bad

THE END 🧡

[v4mpgutz]

can u do smth where ethan buys reader a promise ring pls 🥹 ur fics are amazing 💜

Paper Rings, Ethan Landry [ ONESHOT ]

— i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings

non-gf ethan landry x gn reader -> dating

note: THIS REQUEST AHHH i've been waiting to base a fic off of this song for a while i kiss ur head and i'm glad you enjoy my fics !!

warnings ! — none, just a whole lot of tooth-rotting fluff! + reader doesn't have a specified gender but this was written with an afab reader in mind — nothing points to this fact though ! :)

you and ethan hadn't been together for all that long, a year and a half at most. it took him a while to comprehend the depth of his feelings for you and it was really scary for him.

growing up having been pressured to constantly be as good as or better than his older brother really messed with his head. he constantly had doubts that he wouldn't be good enough for you and that you deserved someone better — someone that wasn't him.

over the course of the first few weeks you and ethan had actually been together, there was cute little dates, hand-holding, giggling into little (sometimes awkward) kisses and him trying to get a grasp on his feelings.

majority of the time he couldn't quite put a finger on what emotions he was feeling. sometimes he thought he was angry when he was really just sad, sometimes he thought he was anxious when he was actually excited.

with you, though? he'd never understood an emotion so clearly in his life.

his heart was filled with love for you, that he knew. love so pure and soft and gentle that it felt like almost nothing could tarnish it. you made him understand himself better — you encouraged him when he would beat himself up over bad grades, you loved him; and he loved you too.

that was precisely the reason why he found himself buying you a promise ring. he'd seen you eyeing a specific one each time you shopped together and you'd talked about promise rings to him a few times.

originally, he didn't know how to feel about those because what if it jinxed your relationship? what if you ended up splitting off and going your seperate ways?

however, after a few weeks just spent thinking it over — all up in his head about it; he decided he wanted to get you one. it'd be a surprise, of course.

one night he had your hand next to his, a measuring tape over the width of both of your fingers. he acted like he was simply comparing handsizes, laughing when you pointed out that he was measuring the wrong way.

"oh, you're right, baby," he chuckled but made a mental note of the size of your left ring finger.

the next time you went to the mall together he kissed your cheek gently before pulling his hand away from yours. "i'll be back, angel," he told you, "just need to go to the bathroom."

you nodded and sat on a bench in the food court, mindlessly scrolling on your phone as you waited for him.

he made sure you weren't looking before he snuck off to the jewellery store, wanting to be as quick as possible so you wouldn't get suspicious. as soon as he was being served, he told the employee the exact ring and size.

it was made to be, it seemed, when the older woman told him that was the last of that ring in that size they had in stock.

he smiled brightly and thanked the woman, paying (quite a hefty price) and slipping the little box into his pocket. he'd get a matching one for himself later, he thought.

when you'd both gotten back to your apartment (which pretty much belonged to the both of you now), he'd sat down with you on the sofa. he kissed your hands gently and pulled you into his chest, the two of you sitting there together in silence for a few minutes — just in eachother's company.

he felt his stomach bubbling up with nerves but pushed them back down. nothing was going to ruin this moment. he cleared his throat to which you perked up, pulling away from him to look into his eyes.

"i don't know much about how to do these things without being awkward," he mumbled as his eyes looked anywhere but at you.

"i wanted this to be special and i know that it's been hard... dealing with me and all, but now i know that i can trust you. i really feel like.. like you understand me better than anyone else ever has before and i can confidently say that i love you."

he took a shaky breath, a smile plastering itself onto his face.

"i know we're still young but i truly think i want to spend the rest of my life with you," he went on as your eyes widened in fear somewhat. "th— this isn't a proposal!" he quickly reassured you, to which you calmed.

he pulled the box out of his pocket and presented the ring to you, "not a proposal — but a promise that one day, there will be one."

he watched as your eyes lit up, tears gathering along your waterline as you let out a choked sob with a smile. you hugged him tight and took the ring, holding it tenderly in your hands.

ethan watched as you slipped it onto your left ring finger, kissing his cheek and then his lips.

"thank you so much, eth. it's beautiful, i love you."

the brunette-haired boy looked away, bashful before turning back to you and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "there's honestly nothing i wouldn't do for you."

you admired the ring before glancing at his own left hand, "where's yours?" you asked with a frown.

he laughed awkwardly and chewed his bottom lip, "didn't have the money to get it but i knew i had to get yours today."

ethan looked up, confused as he saw you get up from the couch and heard the jingle of your keys. "where are you going?" he asked, his brows furrowed.

"we're going to get your half of the promise."

your boyfriend simply stared at you, a puzzled look on his face. "i don't have enough money though? i just said that."

you smiled at him, eyes squinted slightly, "i'm buying it. promises are fifty-fifty."

i loved writing this sm omg

[axlerica]

CANARY ISLAND ~

-The one where Pedri invites his gf to his hometown with him-

On a warm summer evening, Pedri looked into his girlfriend’s eyes with a glimmer of excitement and nerves. He took a deep breath and finally mustered the courage to speak his heart, "Mi amor, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

Her eyes sparkled with curiosity and affection, "What is it love? You can tell me anything."

He smiled, grateful for her understanding nature, "I was thinking... how about we go to the Canary Islands together? It's my hometown, and I'd love for you to see where I grew up and meet my family."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the thought of exploring a new place with Pedri, "The Canary Islands? That sounds like a dream. I'd love to go with you."

Pedri's face lit up with joy, "Really? That's fantastic! I can't wait to show you around and introduce you to my family."

As their departure date approached, Y/N felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. She knew how much this trip meant to Pedri, and she wanted to make a good impression on his family and friends. However, she couldn't help but feel a touch of insecurity. She worried that they might have high expectations of her as the girlfriend of a famous footballer.

On the day of their flight, they boarded the plane hand in hand, ready for a new adventure together. The moment they landed in the Canary Islands, Pedri's eyes sparkled with pride as he showed Y/N around his beloved hometown. He pointed out his favorite spots, shared childhood stories, and introduced her to the locals who welcomed her warmly.

Y/N was taken aback by the beauty of the islands and the genuine warmth of Pedri's family. They embraced her as one of their own, and any fears of not fitting in melted away. She felt a sense of belonging, knowing that she was loved and accepted by those who mattered most to Pedri.

As they explored the sandy beaches, picturesque landscapes, and indulged in delicious local cuisine, Y/N and Pedri grew even closer. The trip became a journey of not just discovering a new place but discovering each other on a deeper level.

However, as the days went by, Y/N couldn't help but notice a familiar girl from Pedri's past, Isabella, who seemed to be getting close to him. She observed them sharing inside jokes and laughing together, and despite Pedri's reassurances, a sense of insecurity started to creep into her heart.

One evening, as they sat under a canopy of stars, Y/N couldn't hold back her feelings any longer. "Pedri, I've noticed you spending a lot of time with Isabella. Are you sure there's nothing between you two?"

Pedri's expression softened, and he took her hand in his, "Amor, she's an old friend, but there's nothing romantic between us. You're the one I love, and you're the one I want to be with."

Y/N's insecurity still lingered, "I trust you, but it's hard for me to see you two so close."

Pedri gazed into her eyes with sincerity, "I understand, and I'll do my best to reassure you. She's just a friend, but you're my everything."

As the trip continued, Y/N tried to overcome her insecurity, holding onto Pedri's words and the love they shared. The other girl remained a presence in their journey, but Y/N found strength in knowing that she and Pedri were building a love stronger than any doubts that might arise.

The next day, Pedri’s family and friends had gathered for a lively dinner and laughter filled the air as stories were exchanged and memories shared.

Amidst the joyous chatter, Y/N sometimes struggled to keep up with the rapid Spanish conversations. She tried her best to smile and nod, hoping that her limited fluency in the language wouldn't become too apparent.

As the night wore on, one of Pedri's cousin playfully teased Y/N about her Spanish, "Y/N, tu español es tan lindo, ¡necesitas practicar más!" (Y/N, your Spanish is so cute, you need to practice more!)

The table erupted in laughter, and to Y/N's dismay, even Pedri joined in on the joke.

Struggling to find the right words, she mustered a smile, trying to conceal her discomfort. "Gracias, sí, estoy aprendiendo," (Thankyou, yes I’m still learning) she replied, hoping her response sounded convincing.

Pedri's friend continued with the teasing, and Y/N could feel the weight of the situation growing. She felt embarrassed and isolated, like an outsider in the midst of their camaraderie.

As the night continued, Y/N tried her best to participate in the conversations, despite the language barrier. But the more she tried, the more self-conscious she felt. It seemed like everyone around her was effortlessly engaged, and she couldn't help but feel even more isolated.

Isabella then said with a subtle smirk and spoke in Spanish, "Nunca pensé que Pedri estaría con alguien que no habla español. Debe ser difícil comunicarse, ¿verdad?" (I never thought Pedri would be with someone who doesn't speak Spanish. It must be challenging to communicate, right?")

Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but she tried to remain composed, even though she didn't fully understand what was said.

Another person at the table chimed in while laughing, "Sí, seguro es complicado." (Yes, surely it's complicated.)

More laughter followed from some of the other guests, leaving Y/N feeling isolated and uncomfortable. She wanted to respond but didn't know how to articulate her thoughts in Spanish.

Pedri, noticing Y/N's discomfort, interjected in a firm tone, "That's enough. It's not funny. Y/N is learning Spanish, and she's doing great."

The room fell silent, and Pedri's defense of Y/N was evident. He then turned to you with a reassuring smile, "Don't worry love, you're doing great, and I'm proud of your efforts to learn Spanish."

Y/N mustered a shy smile, grateful for Pedri's support, but the awkwardness of the situation lingered. She wished she could express herself better in Spanish and be a more active participant in the conversation.

As the dinner continued, Y/N felt a mix of emotions, torn between her desire to fit in and her frustration at not being able to communicate fluently. She appreciated Pedri's support, but the teasing and laughter had dampened her spirits.

After the dinner, as they walked to their room, Y/N finally spoke up, "Pedri, I feel so embarrassed. I wish I could understand and respond better in Spanish."

Pedri pulled her close, reassuring her, "It's okay, amor. Learning a new language takes time, and it's natural to feel overwhelmed. Just remember, I'm here to help, and I love you just the way you are."

"I know, but it's frustrating not being able to express myself fully," Y/N sighed.

Pedri gently lifted her chin to meet her eyes, "You'll get there baby. Don't let this discourage you. Your efforts to learn Spanish mean a lot to me, and I admire your determination. I’m sorry for what happened at dinner just now amor, It was just a harmless joke, but I see now that it affected you more than I realized."

Y/N nodded, her voice shaky, "It's just hard, Pedri. I want to be a part of your world, but sometimes I feel like I'll never truly fit in."

Pedri took her hand in his, "You belong here with me Y/N. I love you, and I don't want you to ever feel left out or embarrassed. I'll talk to my friends and make sure they understand."

Y/N appreciated his understanding and said to him, "Thank you, Pedri. It means a lot to me that you're willing to stand up for me."

He pulled her into a comforting embrace, "I'll always stand up for you. You're the most important person in my life, and I want you to feel loved and accepted."

In the days that followed, Pedri spoke with his friends, making them understand the impact their jokes had on his girlfriend. They were apologetic and understanding, realizing that their teasing had unintentionally hurt her.

With Pedri's support and her own resilience, Y/N started to feel more at ease during their interactions. She continued to practice her Spanish, and as the days went by, she found herself more engaged in the conversations, feeling more included and accepted.

The trip became a turning point in their relationship. It brought them closer together, and Y/N learned that Pedri was willing to stand by her side, supporting her through the challenges they faced.

[thefallennightmare]

Soo I've been thinking about Matt a lot recently and when you look Matt Dierkes up on tiktok, there are some older videos of him playing the drums and he doesn't have arms, he has ARMS🫠 but, I'd like to request for a headcanon monday something with protective Matt. When I see how he is protective of his friends online, can you imagine how he would be in real life with his gf?🥹 maybe at a show some scene with violent fan or something? I'll leave the plot up to you🥰

Matt's eyes were watching your back intently as you were dealing with throwing a rowdy group of guys out of the venue.

You, along with Ash, helped out as security for Bad Omens shows. Ash gave you extensive training and you'd shown more than once you could handle yourself.

But tonight, as Bad Omens performed, the crowd was insane and causing problems; more specifically, the group of guys that were hanging in front of Matt's sound desk.

"You guys need to leave," you ordered to one of the guys; a tall metalhead male who thought they ran the crowd.

The man snorted. "I'd like to see you try, baby. With those dainty hands, I wouldn't want you to break a nail."

This outburst caused Bad Omens to stop the show and Noah looked on with not only aggravation but a careful eye; since you were his little sister.

Matt was gripping the edge of the sound desk, wanting so badly to get involved but you've stated many times that you could handle yourself.

"The three of you have been drinking all night and I've got you guys multiple times putting your hands on women. You need to leave, now!" You pointed to the exit of the venue.

The tall metal head grabbed your wrist, pulling you into his chest. "Kiss for the road?"

Matt saw red and hopped over the sound desk to rip the guy away from you, shielding you behind his back.

"She's asked you nicely twice. I, on the other hand, won't. Get the fuck out now," Matt sneered.

You peered over Matt's shoulder and placed your hands on his hips, knowing he had a temper sometimes when it came to protecting the ones he loved; especially you, his wife.

The man stepped up to Matt, and suddenly Noah's voice echoed through the speakers.

"I'd suggest you rethink that. Matt isn't a fighter, my younger sister is though and she'll knock you on your ass before you even touch her husband."

Smirking over Matt, you motioned to the rowdy guys. "Consider yourself blacklisted from Bad Omens shows."

Spitting at our feet, the guy with his friends were eventually led out of the crowd by Ash and another guard; the crowd cheered that the show could continue.

Matt spun on his heels to look over you. "Are you alright?"

You bit your lip, remembering the way he literally jumped over the sound desk to come to your aid. It caused a fire low in your gut but you sighed knowing you couldn't do anything about it until after the show.

"Remind me to thank my hero later," you mused while kissing his lips before slipping back into the crowd to return to your post.

[rius-cave]

Sinner!Adam getting into an abusive relationship in Hell pre-Hotel. I don't know with who, or how long, or whether it's physically abusive or whatever, but he's abused. This is also his first relationship with a man, so he thinks that's just how gay relationships are, and it's the price of love.

Then he gets to the Hotel and starts dating Lucifer, and he is very confused at how Lucifer is treating him.

Angel finds him and asks him what's wrong, because he kinda wants blackmail, but then Adam tells him and Angel helps him through it. At this point he has been out of his contract with Val, and has had a lot of time to reflect.

Yes I know this is OOC, but I just think hurt/comfort to be fun, and I thought I'd share my angsty hurt/comfort thoughts.

Oh anon that's a little funny, I've talked with my gf a little about Adam getting into something (?) with Valentino LOLOL. But it's more of a deal than an actual relationship. I don't even know how Adam would get into a gay relationsh--

OH! Okay, assuming it's not Valentino, it could just be any demon with a lot of feminine qualities (kinda like Angel, I swear before the show aired and I saw him every once in a while I thought he was a girl LOL), so he is down for casual sex with them, and then when the time comes to actually do it, surprise! It's a guy! And at first he's like fuck this, but they're already like halfway through it and the guy is very uuuhh, eager, so somehow they end up doing it anyway and that's how Adam had gay sex for the first time lol.

Anyway, that's an interesting little plot bunny, pretty convoluted for an endgame adamsapple, but it's pretty entertaining.

[mangosaurus]

Hi! Love your jwcc fanarts! (Hope u don't think my question is to annoying lmao 😭❤️)

I wanna ask u what do u think about that theory abt Ben gf being a catfish? Maybe one of that people that have been hunting them idk. Some posts claim it's actually Brooklyn trying to keep herself updated about the whole situation?? TO MUCH THEORIES

Also if the gf is actually real I'm curious about your opinion. Like I saw a post saying that Ben could be Bi, Pan, etc, but really, I am bisexual myself and there is no bi subtext on that boy... and it's not like they suddenly are gonna officialize he is bi/pan, or give him this type of subtext at this point of the franchise. Is not cool when people call "bi/pan" a media trying to avoid dealing with a character queerness. It's just painful that people think this is a real way of portrait of a bi/pan experience. It's not!!

AW thank you so much! i know i haven't posted much art lately but it still makes me really happy to hear that people enjoy it. and your question isn't annoying at all, don't worry about it :) i love receiving and answering asks, it doesn't matter what they're about

the more time that passes the more plausible the catfish GF theory sounds to me. if i had to guess, ben probably met his girlfriend online, possibly through dark jurassic (which a lot of the fandom seems to be in consensus about). as for it being brooklynn ... not too sure about that one! i've mostly treated it as a crack theory up until now, if just because of how absurd it sounds on paper, but i wouldn't put it past brooklynn to pull something like that. keeping in touch with ben is probably one of her only links back to her friends, besides her contact with ronnie (who is only partially connected to darius at this point, since he quit the DPW). i'd recommend giving these two posts by kitabearuwu a read if you're interested in exploring that theory further.

now if the girlfriend is real: i obviously can't speak for you or other bi/pan/otherwise mspec people, but i've come to not care all that much, if i'm being honest. it was definitely a shock to hear, as was the intended effect, since darius, sammy, and yasmina all initially reacted with surprise. but my question is what harm does ben having a girlfriend in chaos theory pose? like, does it play into any negative stereotypes? does it communicate a dangerous message about queer people? i've seen some people argue that it perpetuates the notion that mlm relationships are "icky" and shouldn't be portrayed in media, but i have to disagree, respectfully.

i think it's also really important to remember that subtext is ... ultimately kind of subjective, and is totally independent of the creator's intentions. that's the whole point of subtext—it exists below (hence the prefix sub-) the underbelly of the text. you have to be looking for it to see it, basically. and for a long time, the fandom (or at least the queer part of the fandom) subtextually read ben as gay! a lot of that had to do with his rather intimate interactions with the other boys, juxtaposed against the way he rejected yasmina when he thought she had a crush on him ("i like you, but i don't like like you ... i'm just now starting to find myself"). but ... i don't know, if we want to start citing text, you could also argue that ben's whole thing about not putting him in a box circa jwcc s5 could be a point towards him being generally unlabeled, which leaves room for him being mspec.

if i had to make some definitive statement on the matter, i guess it'd be that this fandom gets really bogged down by the specific labels of these characters, when it's really not all that necessary. this is still a gay show made by gay people featuring unapologetically gay characters in explicitly gay relationships, of which has been some of the best gay rep i've ever seen in media. and having that kind of representation on TV matters more to me than knowing what ben specifically identifies as, even if it doesn't align with my headcanon. it doesn't have to! but i also don't know for sure if it doesn't align with my headcanon, because we haven't gotten the full story yet. ben's girlfriend is most likely gonna be of some importance, given that he mentioned her twice without going into much detail about her. that leaves a lot of room in future seasons to expand upon who she is and her role in both the greater narrative and ben's life specifically, including his identity. i just think it's best we reserve judgement at this point, basically

[blindmagdalena]

imagine homelander with a gf that gets really really clingy with him after watching sad movies where the one of the partners dies. obvi he’ll try to make it abt her, but really he’s touched that someone cares about him enough to worry about him..😭

This movie is... ridiculous. Homelander's biting back a laugh through the emotional climax of the film, unable to empathize with the choices of these characters, when suddenly he hears you sniffle. Looking down with his brows lifted, he catches the glint of tears rolling down your cheeks. "Whoa, hey, what?" He asks, sincerely baffled. Normally he can understand your responses to things decently well, but this catches him wholly off guard. You'd both been laughing about how silly the movie was not ten minutes ago. "What's with the waterworks?"

"I'm not crying," you answer stubbornly, pushing your cheek into the soft chest padding of his suit. "Right, my mistake. Just leaking lacrimal fluids then," he says wryly. He expects you to retort, maybe give his thigh an ineffectual slap, but there's a flicker of concern amidst his bewildered amusement when you don't respond at all, pressed tight to his side, tears still falling. "Babe," he calls, the word softly stressed. His brows knit together as he hooks a finger under your chin, forcing your eyes up to meet his. "C'mon, talk to me. No way that movie—

"It wasn't the movie," you admit finally, exasperation in your voice aimed not at him, but at yourself. "Not really, it was stupid, it just... I don't know. It got me thinking. I really don't know what I'd do if I lost you," you say, voice falling quieter and quieter with every word. It doesn't matter to him, he hears every bit of it. Homelander's shoulders sag.

"You won't," he says, face still pinched. You're the fragile one, not him. It makes his chest feel wrung tight, uncomfortable in a way he can't make sense of. You are his only vulnerability. You exist in his life as a precarious thing, a knife wedged in his heart that can be twisted and used to hurt him. A wicked part of him, the part that yearns for true invulnerable godhood, hates that about you. He swallows, mouth twitching. "You won't," he says again, needing it to be true as much as you do.

"I know," you say quietly, shifting up to press a kiss to his lips. In moments like this, you are so gentle with him, he almost feels fragile. It's as terrifying as it is indulgent. No one has ever worried about him the way you do. They've only ever cared about the damage he could do to others, but not to himself. Not about what could be done to him. "But I love you. A lot. More than I've ever loved anyone. I think I would go nuclear, you know? Just... Burn it all down kind of crazy," you say, huffing a teary little laugh. "But that's what they say. Love makes us crazy." Homelander kisses you fiercer than you're prepared for. He cups your face and holds you firm, soaking in your words, the salty smell of your tears, the tremble in your voice. All of it for him. "Say it again," he murmurs against your lips, voice tight.

"I love you," you say again, taking hold of his wrist. "I love you, I love you, I love y—" Your lips meet again with even more fervor. Homelander pulls you sideways into his lap, wrapping his arms around you as he sinks deeper into your touch, your lips, the warm sweetness of this vulnerable, unconditional love you have for him. He would kill for you without question, decimate a world that would see fit to take you from him. Knowing you've thought the same sets him aflame. "I love you so fucking much," he rumbles, kissing his way down your throat. "Show me how much," you rasp, tears drying in the wake of heat crawling through you, ignited by his touch. In the background, the film continues to play, wholly forgotten. It may not have been a particularly good movie, but it does at least serve as the catalyst to a very, very good evening.

[emblazons]

this is likely so personal and just. way to much info but there is no where else in my life I could possibly put it and...weirdly, I trust y'all lmfao

There's something so painfully unnerving about having someone be genuinely interested in you after being single for so long, and I don't think—for all of my internal belief that I was ready for "the right relationship" when it came for me—I was prepared for how much there is a very real part of me that desperately wants to run and hide from it solely because it challenges my internal status quo.

The thing is....when I last had a meaningful breakup with a semi-serious partner (2019), I treated being single as a temporary state; something to "get through" until I found a new partner, and I went through the classic dating app gambit and saw men and women and tried to "put myself out there" the way they tell you to do. Then, after realizing how little I wanted to deal with casual dating and hookups—and after being told on my birthday a man I'd been talking to for four months already had a GF of two years—I lost a taste for trying to make something out of nothing and just put sex and dating entirely on the back burner, instead taking the "you can only control you" advice I'd always seen so I could focus figuring out who I was without a partner to constantly distract me from that.

From probably the beginning of COVID, that meant focusing on ...just every single aspect of myself. From healing the mental anguish of burning out of my (then) previous job, finding the bravery to do things I would always do with partners by myself (going to the movies, going out to eat, even shit like solo international travel) and even just letting my "inner nerd" come to the fore because I didn't have anyone looking at me funny for doing things like spending hours writing Stranger Things analysis or learning to make gifs (lol), I've spent nearly the last four years just...learning to like all the random corners of myself as myself, finding out what it felt like to go to sleep alone and content with the woman staring at me in the mirror.

In doing that though...so much fell into place for me in so many areas it never managed to when romance was a priority. I got a job that I absolutely love, and make more money than I even thought possible ever, nevermind before 30. I went from having roommates and shit credit to having my own apartment and fixing a lot of the financial mistakes I made in my early 20s. I learned to take better care of my body—going to all the doctors i had avoided for years, taking accountability the aspects of my health I could control, and losing the nearly 60 lbs I gained from illness and medicine (and poor habits) in that previous 4 year period. I traveled to New Zealand for the first time, went to all the concerts and music festivals and events that growing up poor had denied me, and learned how to be comfortable doing everything from buying cars to making serious appointments all alone. All of that happened because I was single, not in spite of it—and as I realized how much mental space "the pursuit of love" had taken from everything else, being single slowly started to feel like a boon from the universe in a way my formerly partnered or "crushing" or "dating" self could not have even dreamed.

Granted—that was not an easy process. Even right now I'm not sure it would be honest to say I always enjoyed it, especially at first. Some days being "single and not looking" felt like the world was crushing me under the weight of being alone, from how much easier it seemed emotionally, mentally and even financially for my partnered friends (because "a burden shared is a burden halved" as they say) to the way when the walls closed in and life got really hard, the only other being in the room was my cat and....maybe God.

Learning not to be annoyed when one of my friends found someone they loved and wanted to be with seriously—often moving toward marriage, because that's the era of life I'm in—was still a challenge, and not wanting to bite people's heads off when they said "but aren't you lonely" still happened a fair amount. Slowly becoming desensitized to my body as a sexual entity felt strange at first, but then it slowly changed into something comforting as I realized that a lot of the sex I was having before wasn't rooted in an expression of affection or desire for my partner, but expectation, habit, and a refusal to accept that I was actually pretty fucking demisexual. I started looking at my own relationship history and other people's as something to be studied and considered not emotionally, but logically—and slowly slipped into a version of myself the me of my early 20s could not have ever fathomed.

It wasn't even until I was in New York in May that I realized, probably for the first time in all that time, that I had accomplished all of what my "intentionally single era" was designed to do. I was a featured speaker on a panel with one of the largest design magazines in the entire world—but more than that, I was someone I liked, respected, and wanted to be, because when I looked in the mirror, who stared back made me happy as fuck to know.

So, I said I would be more open to meeting new people again. And within—I shit you not—three weeks, this man shows up on my birthday of all days and within five meetings wheedles his way not just into "oh he's kind of cute" territory, but all the way to me kissing his cheek, saying his mispronunciation of a word he's only read is cute and holding his hand at a concert on a random Wednesday.

I literally cannot tell you how unnerving that feels. I cannot tell you how much I can feel the walls of my four years of singleness wanting to shut him out despite all the green flags he's managed to present at record fucking speed, especially compared to all the partners I had before him. I cannot tell you how much even the usually nice feeling of liking someone feels sullied by my own sincere doubt this is going to work out in the long run, or how even the smallest things he does that aren't like me feel like giant red flags because I've spent so much time focusing solely on myself even a smidgen of someone else in that space feels enormous.

I cannot tell you how weird it feels to have someone look at me with desire, both for my body and to know me more; how weird it feels to sense the starting of attraction in myself because someone has laid so much of themselves at my feet and still stayed present despite my overwhelming desire to isolate and intellectualize. To me, its been four seconds of my life since I met this man—someone who I honestly didn't even think I would like that much, and who made me defensive solely because he was reaching for something I wasn't even sure I was ready to give—and him being intentional about seeing me, remembering things about me and complementing me feels like an overstep...even though it's probably one of the healthiest things that could be happening to me.

Even the fact that I told him about my family, my struggle with anxiety and my distancing myself from sex for so long feels fucking insane to ME, and I'm the one who did it. It feels like this little lonely, touch-starved gremlin inside of me has been let out of her cage on a leash and still managed to run to the front of the deck and start barking directions. Two inches forward feels like a mile when you've spent just under half a decade not moving at all—and while I don't feel overwhelmed by it yet, this whole thing gives me anxiety even as I'm nearly desperate at this point to let myself explore it.

I don't know. I might regret even say this, though I don't think so; even if it doesn't work out, it was going to happen sometime and with someone. I just. Its new. Its different. It is just about as far out of my comfort zone as I could get, and that feels weird to say considering how the me of "before" would have laughed at how little has actually been done. There really isn't anything to do at this point but see it through as far as it makes sense to—and to accept the want that it returns to me, no matter how horrifying that seems in the moment...and as he texts me, as I write this even now.

I'm nervous, I'm anxious, and I'm excited. Right now, I think that's all i've got.

[wakasagayhime]

aaaa i think i've seen your skaspec fanchild before and her design's really cute! do you have a name for her, or anything about her personality and her interactions with her mamas? if you do have any whaleshark bebe lore, i'd love to hear it!

thank you so much!! <3 honestly, coming up with a name has been pretty difficult. I'm sure it'd be something fancy sounding like all the other abyssal hunters' names, maybe the name of a famous artist or sculptor since her mom is Laurentina after all..... i did almost impulsively adopt a cat with my gf a while back who i was set on naming Artemisia (in part due to baroque artist artemisia gentileschi) so i feel like i like that name?? but at the same time, i know Laurentina is a sculptor, so maybe it'd make more sense to pay homage to a sculptor rather than a painter.... who knows at this point....

as far as lore goes, i like to think she mostly takes after laurentina in appearance and skadi in personality. she's kind of shy and takes a while to warm up to strangers. but she does really love her plushies and they bring her comfort, just like skadi as well! but a reply i got to my art of her on twitter also made me think she has a bad habit of whacking people with the plushies just like skadi in her summer skin. i do also like to think she's an only child so she gets doted on a lot by not only her moms but also gladiia who is surprisingly sweet and takes great care of her and spoils her quite a bit. idk how ulpianus would act and im not sure if he would be good with children but im sure he at least tries to be nice.

i think aside from that the only other thought i've had about her is that due to being a whale shark she would grow to be taller than both of her moms by the time she's in her teens. maybe even close to gladiia's height. it would make for a cute family photo :)

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[sleepsentry]

Please tell me you plan getting into the book of Bill. I think you'll be quite pleased lol.

I have it preordered but it'll take a bit to arrive because I live in Switzerland

I haven't thought about gf in a couple of months but that's kind of a good thing?

I was worried I'd be too ashamed of my own enjoyment to let myself read it.

Since gravity falls isn't my main fixation for now I'll have an easier time reading it.

'I've been suspecting I have OCD for a year or two now. I think it explains a lot about my deeply tiring relationship to my own interests.

You can skip my attempt at an explanation of that problem below 👇

For the past few years I've had an awful time letting myself enjoy my interests once I pass a certain point of investment.

As if I'm being disrespectful to the original work for having interpretations of my own.

I've never had easy access to merchandise like stickers so all of my exposure to and expression of my interests is the original source material, fan works, and my own fan works. (I have zero merch for any of my interests besides gf so I have no other means of expression offline besides my own art)

-----

It gets especially bad if I have unpopular opinions and see a more popular one everywhere despite my efforts to block and filter.

It's very difficult to filter something popular and it leaves me feeling tired and bitter. When otherwise I wouldn't care at all.

But it's another point towards this "you're doing it wrong" feeling

I haven't fully re-read my journal 3 or lost legends books since I first got them (around 2017? And 2018 respectively) despite really wanting to.

I'll flip through once every couple years for reference that I couldn't find faster online but that's overselling how much I even let myself look up reference online (basically never I'm too ashamed)

I have trouble saying characters names out loud in conversation (text or in person) wich is why I use nicknames a lot

The more I like a character the harder it is for me to look at images of them for reference out of shame for 'messing them up' with my own interpretation

It's happening with some of my current interests like pikmin and ff7 (just typing ff7 made me feel shame that's how bad it is)

It's less bad with pikmin because of how simple an accessible it is.

It's really bad with ff7 because of how much of a legacy it has with nerdy men in their 30s and 40s

(I got smugly mocked in a comment section for saying I didn't like a character getting slapped cause I thought it wasn't deserved. I know it shouldn't matter but I think about it whenever I think of ff7 and the fact that I'm letting some smug dick ruin a thing for me makes me upset and ect ect ect spiral spiral spiral)

----

The more I like the thing, the more I avoid the thing out of shame for my enjoyment of it.

It's exhausting yes.

It has damaged my art and relation to the things I enjoy.

At least it feels good to type all this out and get it off my chest.

[caffeinatedopossum]

Very long post/ positive life update (tw mentions of suicide/self harm)

.

.

.

I can't believe I'm doing so well on these new meds. It's genuinely unreal.

Just a couple months ago, I was severely suicidal every day. I was hurting myself nearly every day, crying nearly every day. I would cry until my eyes hurt, until my head hurt, even until I passed out from dehydration a few times. I wasn't talking to my friends. I was barely talking to anyone. I would stay in my room alone so long that *my roommates* would remark in surprise when they saw me out, saying they hadn't seen me in a while and asking how I was.

I was too depressed to even play video games. I couldn't focus on anything. I would sometimes just sit and stare at walls blankly because I genuinely could not *do* anything. I was having severe panic attacks at least once a day, every night, where I was literally convinced I was dying and that if I let myself fall asleep, I would die. I would keep myself up for hours, just laying there in terror.

This depression has been with me since I was only 13 years old. I tried to kill myself 3 different times, and for the first time in nearly 9 years, I'm glad I wasn't successful. When I was 13, I also developed anorexia. By now, I've been in recovery for just over 2 years. I thought that illness would kill me, I couldn't imagine living without it. I didn't *want* to live without it. I thought full recovery would always be impossible, even until recently, because the desire to relapse had been so strong. But... here I am. It's crazy.

Today, I went with my roommates (who are like family to me) to see the solar eclipse. I laid in the sun for hours - comfortable, happy. I can't recall ever feeling okay like this before. I complimented a stranger like it was easy. I talk to my friends every day now - we play video games and watch tv together or just talk. And I've made new friends. I haven't cried in over a month. I have a new dog- a little basset hound puppy- and I love him with my whole heart. I'm actually able to help my gf care for him too. I joined an asexual community discord server and have been participating in events like movie nights and writing club. I've even made some friends from the server.

My roommate bought me something I liked at the eclipse event- it was really expensive. And as I was thinking guiltily "I don't deserve this", I realized that feeling used to be a lot stronger. It used to be more frequent. I ate a cream puff today. I wasn't thinking about the calories in it. It was really good, it was nonchalant. It was normal. This gets to be normal for me now...? It's too good to be true. If I were a happy crier, I'd have broken my month long tear-free streak for sure

[mo-ok]

Top 5 WORST sentais you’ve watched. or simply least favorite bc I know you’re more of a lover than a hater

OK SO these are simply the ones i think about the least since finishing them (i've enjoyed every season i've seen so far, but some just have less staying power in my brain than others)

OR the ones with the most "little annoyances"/characters i cared the least about/etc etc

So this is less of a "worst" list and simply more of a "i liked other things more" list 😂😂😭

5. Liveman - worst ending in the whole franchise. Absolute downer of a show. Two completely wasted rangers who really didnt need to be there/could have easily been made so much better. I would not recommend this show to someone unless i knew them very well and knew they'd get it. 10/10 i fucking love liveman but oh my god OH MY GOD.

4. Dairanger - very enjoyable episode to episode but really fumbled the bag in the second half imo. I love lots of aspects of this season, i love the characters (probably one of the only people in the whole world who doesnt hate Koh lmao), the suits and intro theme are some of my favourites in the whole franchise. But like... what actually happened in dairanger??? Daigo got a bird gf for a minute? Kemp hurt comfort episode???? We played baseball??????

3. King Ohger - i think i would have enjoyed kingoh a whole lot more if i was able to watch it at a faster pace. The general lack of longer fight scenes and robot fights started to weigh on me lmao, i didnt quite realise how important the robots were to me until kingoh took them away 😂😂 again, i enjoyed the show, but i havent thought about it much since it ended

2. Gaoranger - it was great fun and full on and i enjoyed it a lot, but boy howdy did it make me feel TIRED lmao. I watched this directly after watching Gingaman and was still very much in the Hyuuga trenches, which i dont think helped with Gao not sticking around in my mind. Also, didnt like the ending song (the theme song goes hard though, and Gaku remains a special boy in my special boy jar)

1. Kyoryuger - I remember really enjoying it and its characters, the bad guys were fun and the music goes hard. But there are a few factors that work together to sadly have it end up at the bottom of my sentai pile

- i find myself not really thinking about it AT ALL unless its right in front of me lmao.

- I have a lot of love and nostalgia tied to PR Dino Charge which kinda clouds most of my kyoryu memories

- tyler/shelby >>>>>> king/amy

- fav thing about kyoryu is Utchy and he wasnt even in the kingoh crossover eps wtf

- i think i have simply watched too much since watching Kyoryuger. I definitly am glad i watched it early on, cause i genuinly feel like i'd probably enjoy it less if i watched it now (i did however recently rewatch the Souji parents episode for the dynaman brain rot 10/10 junichi haruta my beloved)

[barkbarf]

helloooo thoughts on stancest? i have an idea that i’ve been thinking about but i’m too scared to write it as a fic in case the gf fanbase crucifies me - dogl1ke

Stancest isn't my very favorite - when it comes to GF ships, billford and dipford are still on top for me. But! I've seen lots of great stancest ideas and art that have been pretty enjoyable. I've drawn them together once, I think. My favorite flavor of stancest would be a one-sided thing, from Ford... A teen Ford (a late bloomer) struggling to come to terms with or understand his own queerness, and shamefully stumbling into thoughts about the one guy he has a genuine bond/closeness to. He's disgusted with himself and has no clue how to cope - then it can really go anywhere from that point. (My personal favored ending to this is him bottling it up for years until he begins to project onto/take it out on Dipper...) I really love Ford, and while I love Stan as well, I see Ford as more the type to have the taboo fantasies and feel all the shame and all that gross angsty stuff. When it comes to sexual stuff, Stan strikes me as a go-with-the-flow kinda guy who is... ultimately vanilla, by my standards lol. This all is just my personal ideas and what I get out of that pairing, though, so I'd love to hear your ideas/what you like about the ship!

And, about being scared to write your fic, please don't be! Write whatever you like! Utilize the block and delete buttons to your advantage, as often as possible. It's not worth it to chop yourself into the smallest possible bite-size pieces in hopes of being digestible to the whole fandom. There's plenty of stancest fans out there - I've been in the fandom for a long long time and have seen tons of content for it. And, yknow, if people have any brains, they'll avoid your stuff if it's not their cup of tea. Good luck out there!

[psapphic95]

How did you get into writing and how did u get into this "scene". you've made me get to know myself better and I love your stories so much so I was curious if there was a story for you or a life event that got you into this "kink"?? Sorry I don't know how to word this better. Also do you have any sapphic book recommendations or any story recs. Have a great day <3

Hey hey,

Interesting question! It's a long story, so buckle in.

I've always been kind of kinky. Even when I was little (think 6 or 7 years old) I'd have thoughts and daydreams about the older girls or teachers at school forcibly like, cuddling or kissing me, even when I'd refuse. Obviously, I didn't know what it meant at the time and it was mostly sort of innocent, I just knew that I found it exciting.

Anyway, fast-forward to when I found a way to get around the child lock that my parents put on my Internet access and I got unrestricted access at about 13 years old. I had started puberty and stumbled across erotic fiction on 'Literotica.' That's when I read this story for the first time: https://www.literotica.com/s/student-lesbian-bdsm

And it put into words all the things I'd fantasised about for ages. I wanted a relationship like Erica and Anna had. Now, obviously, I realise this story is awful BDSM etiquette and very abusive in a lot of senses. Still, at the time it was an eye-opener and I fell headlong into the world of lesbian BDSM erotic fiction.

Then, at around 15-ish, I started to write my own erotic fiction in my iPod Touch notes. These stories were absolute filth and were extreme self-inserts of a main character definitely modeled on me, and the love interests were modeled after teachers and various authority figures in my life. I recently found my iPod and read the stuff I used to write - it was actually very good and well-written, but obviously, some of the descriptions of how s*x felt weren't totally believable hahaha.

Anyway, fast-forward to when I was about 22. I'd had a lot more sexual experiences since being at university, but it wasn't necessarily always kinky. When I was doing my Masters, I got into a relationship with someone who was a lot older than me and into kink - we began a mildly D/s relationship that was pretty stable for the most part but I just wasn't in the right place for it. She taught me a lot about myself, kink, and sex. As a way to procrastinate doing my Dissertation, I began writing about made-up characters again - and I stumbled across AO3 for the first time and also the SwanQueen fandom. From there I just sort of incorporated some of the way my relationship ran between my then-GF/domme and myself.

That's the long and short of it really! I've been writing for a lot, lot, longer than I've been sharing my work with you guys.

As for fic recommendations - I have loads but I'll share my all-time favourite fics:

Sugar Baby by TheEvangelion

Sugar and Spice by ScribblingPunk

Make Yourself At Home by PrincessPestilience

Lady Beneviento and Her Gift by LadyV_writes

She Who Waits in The Dark by Lyris_Lionheart

Hope that answers your question!