#I've been in fandoms for so long and had years and years and years of waiting for official translations

[elvisabutler]

so. long time no see y'all. consider this post both an explanation and i guess an attempt at a promise of doing something before the end of the year. if y'all want the short version of why i disappeared off the face of the planet... it really boiled down the mid shift at my job left me no time to do anything before or after work and then in october i got a promotion which turned into its own funny problem inducing thing. add in moving down to a one bedroom from a two bedroom with a rambunctious and clingy 3 year old and well. when did a girl have time for writing.

that being said! here's the deal. i am completely unsure if i'm going to write consistently again. i want to, oh lord have mercy do i want to, but i also find it uncouth to string everyone along with promises i break. however, that doesn't mean i'm gonna delete the blog- because l'm too old in fandom terms and have seen too many fics/gifs/artwork get lost in blog deletions and the like.

what this does mean is that i am going to try and finish up some stuff that's been left at loose ends because no one likes reading incomplete fics. and i'm gonna try and play me writing and such by ear. no guarantees, no promises just me saying i'm gonna try and do what i can. and if it turns out that i can't finish things, if y'all want i'll turn all my drafts loose onto this page for y'all to see what i had attempted to write/finish/do something with.

i'm not gonna add any tags to this because i figure i've been gone long enough that posting in the old tags i used to without like a fic feels a little weird! but hi y'all, i've really missed you even if i've tried to lurk a little.

[xoxoemynn]

Hello friends,

I am still riding the high from how extremely loved you all made me feel on my birthday on Wednesday. I've never really been someone who went all out to celebrate my birthday and generally view them as just another day, but my god, the LOVE. I am so overwhelmed.

I know everyone says "I wasn't expecting that!" but truly, I was not expecting that. As the year had been winding down, I'd been feeling a bit... guilty is probably too strong a word, but definitely disappointed in myself for not being as active in this fandom the year of Ye Olde Cancellation as I wanted to. I felt like after cancellation I was so "just because the show's over doesn't mean the fandom's over! so long as we're all here and loving the show we'll live on forever!!!! we're not going anywhere!!!" and then... I wasn't really here. Which wasn't due to lack of interest at all, just lack of time/energy because life was particularly brutal in 2024. And, honestly, the grief of losing the show came in waves, and when I was already feeling so drained, sometimes it just hurt too much to dig in deep with the fandom, as much as I was craving it.

Because of that, I did lowkey think you'd all kind of forget about me? Which is silly because I know I'm usually the first person to say "it doesn't matter how active you are or if all you do is reblog, you're still so important here!!!" but somehow I had trouble believing it about myself? So seeing all your incredibly kind messages and amazing gifts... I had to keep stepping away because any time I'd look at Tumblr I'd start immediately tearing up. Truly, you made me all feel so loved and seen and I just spent the entire day with a big grin on my face, feeling like I was walking around just wrapped up in a giant bear hug from all my pirate crew besties from around the world.

Obviously, the cancellation came last year on January 9, the day after my birthday. For the longest time a dominating thought I had was that my birthday was the last day I had hope, and that I wished I hadn't taken it for granted. I wished that I had savored it more, celebrated it more, enjoyed the thought of having our pirates returning to us soon more. But Wednesday... you let me have that again. That day was filled with all the love and joy and humor and surprises and, yes, hope. It didn't matter that I haven't been as active in the past year. You all showed up and showed so much love.

That's fandom. And you all represent the very best parts of it.

I love and am so grateful for each and every one of you. And I know now more than ever that we're not going anywhere.

Long may we roam. 💜

[cha-melodius]

May I ask you about your writing??? First of all and possibly most importantly, how do you do it? How do you find inspiration and such? How do you make it happen? Because I sat down with a really juicy idea not long ago and I was excited and it was incredibly hard. I deleted it, I was embarrassed. So how do you first, come up with a great idea (which you do you write such cool stuff!) and then bring it to fruition? I’ve always been a decent writer but I was really frustrated with the fic I set out to write!!!

Hey anon! Sorry for sitting on this for a while but it came in the night before a big academic conference for me, so I've had almost no time for anything, sadly.

First off, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing! A lot of the direct answers to your questions are not very satisfying, tbh. Ideas come to me from everywhere—things I watch, read, random internet things—and how I bring it to fruition mostly involves a lot of planning. I got a lot happier with my work when I started making outlines for my fics, so I always know where I want to go with the story and how I'm getting there, versus meandering around aimlessly.

I'm guessing that there was something about your idea that was particularly challenging, since you said that you've always been a decent writer but found what you produced frustrating. Since I don't know the details I'm gonna give some advice that will hopefully cover a few different aspects. And first, a short list, and then the details under the cut because I'm a wordy bitch.

Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.

Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.

Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.

1. Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.

I started writing fanfic (or, re-started, because I wrote when I was young and then took a looooong break) to get the stories out of my head, and my first fics were not great lol. They were also for a rarepair and approximately 5 people read them, so there wasn't much pressure I suppose. I was just putting them on AO3 because I figured why not? And then I just kept writing, off and on for different fandoms, until the writing bug really caught me and I started producing a lot more, about five years ago. But it probably took me ~20 fics (several of which were quite long) before I'd consider my stuff to be decent. Whether you share your early works or not is up to you, but in general I'd recommend it because there's a good chance someone will love it (even if you consider it to be substandard) and that can help you feel better about your own writing. I didn't start out good at writing action, but I wrote (and read, see below) consistently in a lot of action-heavy fandoms, so I got a lot of practice. I also feel like the more I wrote, the more ideas I got, and the more unique ideas I got.

You occasionally see someone in fandom who's like "this is my first fic!" and it gets really popular or and lots of hype or whatever, but that's not the typical experience. Most of us start out writing like crap. It's ok. It gets better.

2. Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.

Ok, so you wrote a first draft you were disappointed in. Ask yourself what was disappointing about it? Do you feel like the beats aren't hitting, or the action is wooden, or the language is awkward? The great thing about fandom and fanfiction is that there are so many people that are willing to help out as beta readers or even just someone to talk to. I understand that getting a beta reader can seem daunting. You don't want someone to criticize your work, or it might seem embarrassing to show someone else a work you feel bad about. But if you get someone else to read it, you'll have the chance to both hear good things about it and also get advice about things you're uncertain about. People come to fandom from all walks of life and I'm a big fan of asking for help if you're writing about something you're not super familiar with. I've never actually been to therapy, so getting help from @celeritas2997 was absolutely critical for me to feel good about my couple's therapy AU. Also you can ask people for advice if they write the kinds of fics you want to write—I've had multiple people ask me for help with their action scenes, and I'm always happy to lend an eye and give advice.

Also, related to this: it's ok if you don't like your first draft. But don't delete it! Put it aside, whether you ask someone else to look at it or not, and come back to it a while later with fresh eyes. It may not be as terrible as you thought! Or maybe there are parts you still hate, but there are other parts that you can work on and revise.

3. Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.

Want to write sci-fi? Read a lot of sci-fi novels. Read a lot of sci-fi AUs. Break out of your fandom and read fics in fandoms you don't know—I used to do this a lot and it was one of the most important steps in my process of finding my own voice as well as understanding how stories are built. When you read in only one fandom, you get used to a lot of the same voices and types of stories, but there is SO MUCH out there. I've been known to scroll through the 'Enemies to Lovers' tag on occasion, but also I will go into fandoms for media I know but have no strong connection to, don't want to write in but know the characters, and read those. I spent a lot of time reading X-men, Good Omens, Witcher, even MCU juggernauts like Stucky even though I don't really ship them. I know it probably sounds crazy to tell you to go read other fandoms when (I'm assuming you're RWRB) there's so much in this one, but I do think it's valuable. This one is not only for getting exposed to a lot of writing styles, but also lots of ideas. I've definitely gotten a lot of ideas that spun off from something else I read.

I feel like none of this is particularly revolutionary advice, but I hope it at least gives you (and anyone else who manages to read this far lol) some confidence to keep going and go after those stories you want to write. Everyone—me, popular fandom writers, professional authors—started out just writing a lot, and they improved over time.

Most importantly: just keep going. You can do it!!

[wispedvellichor]

HELLO HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS POST ON MY DASH IS TUMBLR CONSPIRING AGAINST ME TO MANTAIN YOUR IM-NOT-A-SAP PROTESTATIONS

(I was scrolling your blog bcuz you DM-d me the Sugar Daddies post and I remembered youre on this hellsite and not just a random guy who exists and is the paragon of all I hope to be in my own existence. I found sap instead. Jackpot.)

Anygays I already wished you Happy Microceleb Day BEFORE morning that day in Asmi Time so I get a leeway to reblog this fuck you

I still remember Jan 5th of last year. I was dying of stress [eugh] and I hadn't been outside the house or interacted with anyone else for months cuz. boards [also eugh]. I was scrolling tumblr for some respite in fandom but my dash was filled with all my mutuals reblogging the same fucking long ass post and dying about it. I went to OP's blog to block him but someone was talking about streaming Good Omens the next day?? I decided I needed a rewatch to calm my nerves cuz sure. Why not.

The stream was the first sense of community I'd had in years.

Just - the amount of people - sharing their stories - taking the show that had been such a massive source of joy on its own and adding so much more to it by simply being there. It was surreal, in a way. Being in the community for the first week alone - sharing edits and theories and a little parts of ourselves was. Aaaagh. /vpos

And you were there !! I barely even knew you then but you were, and still are, so so incredible in everything you said and did. You're the reason that any of it even is and I do not believe anybody else in the world is capable of fostering and growing a community, a family, like this one.

I'm so proud of us and all that we have grown to become a year later.

Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family.

Check, check and check. No wait wdym the Maggots have shown me all that real love truly stands for I mean whaaaaaat.

I know I've said this before but. You saved me. This community, yes, but also you as a person. You've taught me so much about what it means to be kind; what it takes to bring groups of people together and help them connect out of nothing but sheer love - be it love for a show or each other or, even, for you. Because we love you. And that, I believe, is what's holding us together in the end of the day.

Mkay sap over. This is a reminder to text me. Cuz I miss you.

End of text.

well, it's been a year since i found you all...

My dear maggots,

This is a long letter, but I owe it to you, and I hope you read it. One year ago. That's when I made that fateful Good Omens post. I'd joined tumblr a couple of weeks before that, in some part for Drarry, mostly for some kind of community.

You see, the month before, I'd just dropped out of college, not even halfway through the first year. I'd been isolated by nearly all the students, and the administration took their side. Of the few I'd considered friends, only one checked in on me after. My high school friends were busy with their own college lives. It's a long story, and a sad one, but this isn't about that story.

Hopped up on reading too many tumblr screenshots on pinterest, I threw myself into the hellsite, and finally was able to talk to a couple of people. Some of you have run into my I need a friend post. For once, I had some kind of interaction. And then my dash was flooded with Good Omens and so I made a post trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the gay angel and demon.

I was in freefall. I'd long since passed the edge of the cliff and fallen over, and everything in my life was upended, and everything that I'd valued about myself, I'd lost. I was in freefall, and you caught me.

Delighted by my utter dumbassery, apparently, you crowded around me and offered theories and fanart and posts and lore. You laughed at my stupid jokes and pulled me in to watch the show with you. You read my summaries and named me the Mascot of your fandom. You were all so, so kind.

Which is why I adore the Good Omens fandom, and why I'll never leave, even after what Gaiman did. Because yes, I'd interacted with him before things went down, and sure, he was involved in the journey, but this isn't about him. I didn't even know he existed before this year. This is about you, and me, and the community that we created. He doesn't get to take that away.

And then, even once I'd watched the show, you stayed. You became my family. You adopted me into your fold. You began to talk to each other, too. Some of you made friends, some of you found qpps, some of you fell in love with each other, some of you found family. And you thanked me for it, but I don't think you understand, it was thanks to you. You did this. You found a sad, lonely boy with a weird unhinged sense of humour, and you saved him. If you were saved yourself, well, I am very, very, glad. Because you deserve that. You all do.

Whether you've never interacted with me with words or whether we've had hours long phone calls, whether you found me out a year ago or last week, whether you're part of the good omens fandom or not, it doesn't matter, I want to say thank you. You should know that no matter what else happened, you are so deeply good. And kind. And you helped me.

I'm in art school now. You were with me while I was searching for a college. While I wondered if I should even join one. You were with me the day I did the entrance exam. You were with me on my first day, and every day after that. When I was at the hospital or at home or on holiday. I knew I was never alone. Because I had you.

You never have to be alone again, either. You gave me a family, and I will do everything I can to keep it safe. I love you, so, so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

~ Asmi

[doublel27]

i joined thai bl fandom about six months ago, and although i will keep watching thai bl/gl/ql shows, all this latest stuff has been the final nail in the coffin of my enjoyment in fandom. i've been in fandom for about 20 years and i think along with the dead internet we very much have dead fandom. where communities used to be about fic, fanart, fanmixes, etc now it's just criticisms. do people really enjoy this? constant negativity? i appreciate your voice here and am grateful somebody is standing up for people. there are too many bad faith discourse generators in this fandom unfortunately.

Thank you so much! It breaks my heart that you feel this way. The fact that people don’t feel safe to speak publicly or reblog stuff because of a small vocal minority is incredibly sad and disappointing. I am also a fandom old. 24 years baby!

I mean, I don’t think the social media and increasingly isolationist views have helped with fandom, but this energy has been in fandom for a long time. I survived Cassandra Clare’s minions in the fandom that shall not be named and someone having a tantrum (to years after I had said something and left the group) where she deleted an entire EZ-board full of years worth of X-Men role-play writing because more people stood up to her. It keeps happening and always does when people get into feedback loops and don’t engage outside of narrow focus.

I know it seems like a lot of people engaging in bad faith discourse, but this experience has shown me how small that circle is despite how loud and how much they write and reblog each others posts. But also how many people don’t engage with them. There are so many people doing beautiful things in this fandom: edits/gifsets, fanart, fanfiction. There are wonderful things happening, but it does require some hunting.

Someone was talking about creators of gifsets using (fandom name)edits so people could avoid everything in the tags and I wonder if a bunch of us could use consistent thaibl(type of art) as well as (fandom name)edit so that there are some tags that are focused on creation.

Because we can’t change the behavior of bad actors. I have no intention of changing their behavior. That’s not why I said anything. I said something because people deserve a fandom experience where they’re not harassed. And people who are harassed deserve someone to say that’s not okay.

I’m sorry you’re leaving fandom, but sometimes it’s necessary if it’s not bringing you joy! And you can change your mind. I was never coming back to fandom after X-Men, and here I am.

But my ask box and my DMs are open. 💜💜💜

[slaaverin]

To hell and back

This post is very difficult to make for me. This is not about BTS, or about fandom, but about mental health, and my personal story. I never really opened up about it anywhere except in a few facebook groups. But today is the day I decided to speak about my story.

It is surely more for me than for you.

Very few people in my friends and family can really understand what I have been going through, because it is a topic so complex that even I have trouble understanding it sometimes.

Well, firstly, I am schizophrenic. At least according to science. If you asked me though, it would be a different answer.

The truth is, I became spiritual again when I was 25, not long after discovering BTS. I took on a meditation practice and grew my consciousness very quickly.

Someday, I had an idea on how I would be able to help the collective, and I thought about becoming clairaudient (hearing the other side). So, I "hear voices". I followed my intuition on how to achieve this, and after some time it actually worked, I could hear.

So this ability to hear was totally consented on my part, I wanted this from the start.

But yeah, according to science, when you can hear anything, they put a schizophrenic label on you. I think it's mostly that they are in over their head with this kind of subject, and they simply don't understand everything enough to really be able to help anyone, except with medication.

Unfortunately, the universe is bigger and more nuanced than a label, so I never really got help from psychiatrists. I had to navigate through this on my own.

Everything was going fine at first, I was learning how to use this ability, and things were going well.

But someday, everything went to shit.

I won't go into that much details, I'll spare you, because it is pretty horrific. But long story short, I made a trip to "hell". Literally.

Of course, I myself do not believe in the christian hell. I've studied spirituality enough to understand it is not that literal, and there are many realms with different purposes.

But there are some dimensions that are close enough of what we would imagine hell to be like. And I have gone there.

I spent 2 weeks in 2 dimensions at once. In my physical body, but also in this dark dimension.

It's not really important to believe in this, or to argue whether it was real or not, because the thing is, my experience, impressions, feelings, all of it, were real to me. It felt real. It felt tangible. The mechanics does not matter, what matters is that I experienced it, and the trauma from it was real.

It was the most horrific, the darkest, the most twisted, so terrible that words cannot even give it justice. It is an experience that I felt somehow was a glitch in the matrix. Like we should not be able to experience something like this, it should not be allowed.

But it was. And no matter how much I cried for help, prayed all the gods, begged, no one came to save me. I could not sleep, did not eat, and barely functioned during those 2 weeks.

I felt left there, abandoned, alone, helpless, in total despair and horror, and with a pain that was so profound that I thought it would kill me. I was patiently waiting for death to take me, in how much my heart was broken into a million pieces.

I got annihilated entirely by the end. No emotions, no thoughts, no personality, no beliefs, nothing that made me me, was left.

I was gone, an empty shell. I had been entirely destroyed. A metaphorical death.

But something was left. A tiny flicker.

It was the light of my consciousness, my divine spark.

I understood then that even the worst darkness that exist would not be able to destroy my light, and that I was eternal.

So all of my fears vanished. I began clinging to that light and use a strength I didn't even know I posessed to crawl back from the pit of my own hell.

I had PTSD for years after this experience. And it was not truly over. I was still plagued by many interferences, trickster energies, evil things.

But over time, I healed, and brought back the pieces of myself that were scattered, and my psyche, even with PTSD, began to mend.

But now I had to learn how to play "the game". How to not get tricked, how to keep my internal balance despite being surrounded by nothing but darkness.

Some day the darkness put so much pressure on my being that I thought of ending my life. And that's not really like me, because I'm really pro-life.

But it's like I've been through some fucking intense internal military-like training, with no rest, with no pause, and no mercy. Ever.

It pushed me to my limits.

So of course I transformed. I became stronger mentally, I learned discernement, I took my power back, literally my entire being was totally refined.

I mastered "the game" of darkness, outsmarted them, mended every breach of my psyche, moved past all my fears, and my mind became as cutting and sharp as a knife. It took me years, but I learned the lesson. And I can say that darkness was my greatest teacher. The wisdom I gained, there is really no price for it. In the end I saved myself.

Today, I am good. I work very hard to keep my internal balance, to remain optimistic, to keep spreading love around me.

If you saw me you wouldn't tell I have any particularity lol

But to say this whole process has been hard is a understatement. It is SO FUCKING HARD like it's so hard and complex and layered that's it's really a bit ridiculous?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a very bad movie, so I guess the universe and my higher self really have a weird sense of humour. But I laugh it off too because it's better than crying about it.

I know we are never alone, and that everything supports us, but the illusion that we are is really strong sometimes. Almost no one would be able to understand my experience, without having lived it, so I feel like I'm bearing this cross on my own.

But you know, all of this really puts things into perspective. The fact I have been in a place such as this, survived, and came back, makes every other little problems in life feel truly trivial.

I don't know what your faith is, it is not really important. What I learned in my studies is that most people who actually go to those places had things to learn, it's never "some punishement". It's clearly not because I deserved it.

But I did my share of learning indeed. Today I feel like I am a better version of myself thanks to this experience.

I believe it was for my highest benefit, because I can't reconcile senseless pain and hurt in my mind with a loving god. I know things aren't random.

It all began because I wanted to help. So in sharing my story, I want you to share a message of hope.

The deepest pain, the darkest fear, nothing that is abyssal and scary and any emotion you might feel, none of it will actually hurt you. You cannot be hurt. You cannot be destroyed by anything, ever. We just think that some emotions will kill us, so we avoid to feel them. We fear, so we flee.

If you actually embrace your fears, it won't kill you. It will liberate you. Nothing else will happen.

You know why we come to earth to have crazy experiences and we don't mind the trauma and the pain that come with it? Because our souls know that we are not taking any real risk in the first place.

Your light is deeper than the deepest fear, largest than the most painful hurt, and you are safe at all time, even if it doesn't feel like it.

So please, rest easy, don't take life so seriously, it's all going to be ok. We will all wake up from this dream someday and go back to love, and it will only be a memory, a blip in our eternity.

We are safe & loved.

I think I needed to get all this out of my chest.

(Please don't feel the need to psychoanalyze me or feed me religious doctrines, I had years to process and really understand the mechanics of everything that happened to me so far, but obviously I didn't want to turn this post into a million words so many aspects are left out.)

Thank you for reading my post and take care💜

[oh2bloved]

Oooooooold mlp stuff

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[rebrandedbard]

How does the great Sandpiper successfully smuggle 130 children out of the Nilfgaard-occupied territory of Hamm? With the power of a forgotten story, a traditional song, and a masterful lie.

A piece for my upcoming fic, The Piper of Hamm, based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin, next in my fairy tale series.

[tyrantchimera]

Something I've noticed about being in a small, 'dead' fandom... when you're a content creator, it's like the whole remaining fandom *reacts* when you do anything. I'm in a small but dedicated group of authors for a small fandom. If one of us posts after a dry spell, the rest of us perk up. The fans react. Other creators (like myself) are inspired to make their own stuff.

For a small while, we aren't just small-time creators. It's like we're the franchise itself! Everyone knows when we post stuff. Our content is THE content.

Wow. What a feeling.

[piningpercussionist]

Pine Face Jumpscare

Still got no idea where my fabric paints are, but here I am as (slightly scuffed) Kim! (Second shot mostly there to show off the belt.)

And below the cut here I'll have some other shots that kinda show the hair color a little more accurately

Second shot here had my hair combed a little differently to make it more poofy- meant to do that before taking these, but like... y'all will probably see me do this again. I originally wanted to do outdoor shots, so- next time!

Also bonus jacket I got the other day- kind of a good modern au stand-in for the normal Dia de Los Muertos party fit, right?

[greenerteacups]

thoughts on Ginny and Harry as a couple?

There are a lot of people who find their romance in HBP forced. I don't think it's forced so much as underwritten, and the books don't get the chemistry quite right (though the movies certainly don't, either). There's potential, but they just don't get enough actual scenes of substance (besides Harry thinking she's pretty or feeling jealous of Dean) for a lot of readers to buy that they're not only in love, but deeply enough in love to break up, get back together, and wind up married.

That's not to say I don't see the appeal. There's a very cool scene in Book 5 where Harry's doing a woe-is-me-Chosen-One act, and Ginny effortlessly puts him in his place about it by reminding him that she was possessed by Voldemort at eleven, which is a rare glimpse into her character and also a great synecdoche for their relationship — Ginny is a grounding presence who, like Ron and Hermione, isn't going to be awed by his past adventures because she knew him before they happened. In that respect, Ginny's probably one of the few women Harry could feasibly wind up with, because he only ever seems comfortable around people (let alone girls) who can see past the Chosen-One schtick and treat him like a normo (see: Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, Luna, Hagrid). True to type, he doesn't get interested in Ginny at all until she's ditched her celebrity crush and ceased to view him as an idol, because in his heart of hearts, Harry wants to be a normal boy, and it's stressed over and over that part of what he likes about his relationship with Ginny is how normal it feels. He kind of has a horribly supercharged version the celebrity dating problem: after the Battle of Hogwarts, anyone he meets is going to know him first as Harry Potter, Chosen One, Boy Who Lived, and Actually Fucking Resurrected Messiah of the Wizarding World, which is... I mean, it's possible that there are witches out there who could get over that, but Harry's not an extroverted guy, and I'm not sure how he'd go about finding them. Ginny's the one who's been there since the beginning, doesn't need anything about him or his past explained to her, and actually likes him for who he is.

When you look at it that way, it's not surprising he married his high school girlfriend. She's one of the few people still alive who doesn't see him as a demigod.

[starrywangxian]

it always urks me when i see people saying that wei wuxian was really dumb to not realise that lan wangji was in love with him, and well it is a valid analysis (because there's no right answer here) i do think it's a shallow one. i do understand the appeal and the humour of wei wuxian being the smartest person of his generation but being too stupid to realise when he's in love or when someone is in love with him but i don't really think that's what happened.

i think it's more wei wuxian believing he isn't worthy of love and it's something that you have to earn.

if you think about his upbringing, when he was homeless he was still smiling and kind and never bothered people for food, he waited until it was given to him or would go after the scraps that no one ever ate.

and yi ziyuan really leaned into that fact, telling him he was indispensable and that he was just a pawn to protect jiang cheng and jiang yanli, that this wasn't his family and he was just a servant to them. blaming wei wuxian for everything and punishing him for his achievements instead of celebrating them. wei wuxian constantly felt like he owed the jiangs for taking him in and hence he sacrificed so much for them to 'repay' them.

so when lan wangji clearly shows concern and love for him, wei wuxian explains it away; he thinks that lan wangji is just so noble and kind.

the scene in cql where wei wuxian tries to say that he tricked lan wangji into helping him so that lan wangji's reputation wouldn't be harmed is an example of that. he thinks lan wangji is just kind enough to risk his own reputation to help him but wei wuxian doesn't think he deserves that so once again tries to sacrifice himself to save the ones he loves.

it's also why after their first time, wei wuxian says thank you. because he believes that he's earned lan wangji's attraction and he should be grateful for it. he doesn't consider that it's something lan wangji was giving him freely and willingly just because he loved him and he wanted to.

wangxian's miscommunication comes from lan wangji thinking wei wuxian doesn't love him or that he's just an amusement to him (particularly after their first time) and wei wuxian thinks he's not worthy of love and he doesn't deserve to be happy and in love.

it's a funny gimmick to say that wei wuxian was just too dumb to realise, and i even joke about it when i reread the novel too, but i think there's so much more to pack. with lan wangji too. their characters are so much more than that and their trauma runs very deeply and influences a lot of their actions.

so you're fine to say that wei wuxian is an oblivious dumbass but as long as you realise that that's only really the surface (wei wuxian is an oblivious dumbass yes but he love him for it all the same <3).

[shoujoprotagonist]

Request My S-Class Hunters novel in English!

I saw a post like this a few months ago and figured I would create another one like it to help get some momentum!

If you enjoy My S-Class Hunters (the webtoon and/or the novel itself) then please take a moment to fill out the Seven Seas monthly survey and request they license it in English!

The May survey is available via the direct link HERE; if you follow 7seas on twitter or periodically check their website the monthly survey is also available on those platforms.

If there are other companies that you're aware of that have similar surveys I encourage you to link them as you see fit.

Having the novel be officially licensed is a good way to directly support the author by having an avenue to purchase an official translation of the series, especially if you have difficulty navigating websites like Naver Series and Ridibooks to purchase the original. (And, also, if you struggle with reading Korean or can't read it and rely on machine translations, having an official translation is also beneficial.) If there are other series that you enjoy, it's also a good chance to list those on the survey as well!

Thank you for your time!

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

re: the last post i reblogged bc i am realizing just how much i yapped in the tags and i do not wish to subject the wider tumblr public to that rant LMAO

[everliving-everblaze]

the thing is that I love kotlc with my whole heart and truly think it's incredible, but this fandom is so negative and pessimistic that it makes me feel embarrassed to talk about how much i love it. in front of the other fans. i feel insane.