#I've been burnt out for so goddamn long

[csainzoperator]

hey stranger!

summary: when you accidentally get stuck in an elevator with carlos sainz.

(fem!reader×carlossainzjr)

an: i hope you guys like this for a change. i was supposed to post this on sunday but i got busy! let me know how you like it, or if you want more of such things. also, i haven't checked the word count yet, but i'll update that soon.

trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol, exes, cheating.

read under the cut!

the elevator jolts, making her stumble a little. it's 2:04 am. the building is silent, not a single person around. she's barefoot, holding her heels in one hand, she groans. her velvety dress slightly sways as she tries to steady herself, the lights flickering inside the elevator.

he's in a crumpled white shirt, his sleeves rolled up, his forearms on show as he fixes his hair. his other hand holding onto his suit jacket. he has his tie loosened around his neck, like he couldn’t care less about how he looks.

they exchange a glance that says, well, this sucks, without needing any words. she leans back into the cold mirrored wall, sighing softly. he presses the emergency button, hoping it does something, anything.

"ofcourse." she mutters, "ofcourse this would happen tonight of all nights."

"bad night?" he questions, gazing at her from the mirror.

"you could say that." she laughs, a laugh that lacks any humour, bitter and quiet. "i just broke up with my fiancé. at our goddamn engagement party"

he whistles low, nodding slowly as he processes the information he's been given. "okay. you win."

she tilts her head, looking up at him as she raises an eyebrow "and what about you?"

"my ex is getting married. and she sent me an invite 2 hours ago." he says as he looks down at his leather shoes.

a few moments pass by in silence. but it wasn't awkward, just shared sympathy. she sits crossed leg on the ground, looking up at him. "we've got time." she says, "and honestly i couldn’t give a damn anymore."

he slides down beside her, stretching his long legs out. "fair."

she offers her hand for a handshake, giving him a sad smile that's almost invisible if you don't look closely. "i'm y/n, professional disaster."

he takes her hand, giving it a firm shake, offering her a slight smirk. "carlos, recovering simp."

she snorts, getting comfortable on the floor. "that's the most honest introduction i've ever heard"

the lights in the elevator are warm enough to make a 60 year old woman fall asleep in a second. light breeze from the elevator fan spreads across the elevator. she tries pressing the emergency button again, only for it to not respond, just like how her ex didn't respond to her texts.

"alright, carlos. are you going to your ex's wedding?"

he sighs dramatically, looking up at her like he's about to reveal victoria's secret. "i burnt the invitation" he mutters, like he's telling her a secret.

she chuckles, "well aren't you quite out of a shakespeare play?"

he turns his head, looking at her with a small smile on his face, thinking about how he made her laugh, felt like quite the achievement after her sour mood earlier. "so, did you actually breakup with your fiancé at the party or did you something shakespeare worthy, like throwing wine on him"

she rolls her eyes, looking up at him, disgust evident in her face. "to be fair, he was the one kissing my cousin in the balcony."

his gasps, his eyes widening, "no."

she nods, patting his shoulder dramatically to soothe the shock. "yes. a whole bottle of expensive champagne. worth every second."

he whistles again, clapping slowly. "you're my hero. what do they say these days? eating? yeah, you ate."

she gives him a mock bow, "thank you, i accept cash as fan mail."

they both laugh, and for a moment, none of them remember why the night was bad. she stretches her legs out beside him, nudging his shoes with hers. "since we're trapped in a vertical metal coffin that plays jazz, how about we play 21 questions?"

he quirks a brow, containing a smile. "what are you? in senior high prom?"

she stares at him, her eyes narrowing. "do you have a better option?" he sighs, shaking his head.

she nods at him, "you go first"

he hums, thinking of a question, a second later he speaks up "what's your most irrational fear?"

she groans. "you're gonna laugh at me."

he shrugs, watching her. "i will either way, so just say it"

she sighs. "peacock feathers. they're just, i can't stand them. or peacocks in general, i think they're plotting something against us."

he doesn't speak for a while, he just stares, barely containing his laughter. "mhm, you're so right. we should tell the government to hide all the secrets just in case."

she rolls her eyes as he covers his mouth, trying not to lose it. "oh no, hide your kids, there's a peacock in the forest that doesn't have access to us but its still a threat!" she gently shoves him away, now laughing with him.

"okay. my turn. have you ever ghosted someone?" she questions.

"once. only by accident. i took a nap and forgot to text back...for three months" he winces.

her jaw drops, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "that's not a nap. that's a coma."

"i texted her saying i died briefly."

"how romantic" she teases.

he grins, rolling his eyes. "question. how many people have you kissed?"

she squints, thinking hard. "depends, does my bestfriend's cat count?"

he blinks, "...i don't know how to answer that"

"i'll say four, but five if you count mochi. he was surprisingly an affectionate cat."

he nods, smiling slightly. "uh huh, i'll keep that in mind."

they go on like that for hours, laughing, teasing, opening little doors into each other's lives.

"question twenty one" she says softly, "if we don't get out of here till morning...would you still want to keep talking to me?"

he doesn't hesitate. "god, i hope we don't get out till morning."

the end.

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - Week 16 - Endgame Fixits

Yesterday was the 6 year anniversary of Avengers: Endgame, and since I’m still in my Tony and Steve lived happily ever after era, here’s some Endgame fixits! Enjoy and feel free to share your favs with me! 

And Time Can Do So Much by JenTheSweetie

"I really shouldn’t be talking to a figment of my imagination,” Steve said. “Sam would be reading me the riot act. I can hear him now. Therapy works wonders, you know.”

“Sounds like Wilson,” Tony agreed. “And therapy does work wonders. You might want to look into it, once it becomes a thing in a couple of years.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve said.

A few years after Steve moved permanently back in time, he started having conversations with Tony again.

Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo

“Why do I always find my way back to you?”

Maybe Tony didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep.

After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.

home is a four-letter word by meidui

“My apartment got demolished,” Steve protests, but the look on Tony’s face tells him that he’s about to get it. He tries again, “They’re building a condo.”

“I don’t care if they rezoned Brooklyn for wildlife preservation. Why are you living in a hotel?”

Endgame, Not Checkmate by geekymoviemom 

“Tony?” Steve asks as Tony immediately taps his screen to life, calling up the specs for what looks like a new set of his nanite armour.  “Um… aren’t you going to take it easy for a while?”

Tony frowns at Steve over the top of the screen.  “Ah, no?  Why would I do that?”

“Maybe because you almost died?” Steve blurts out.  “I mean, just yesterday you were—!”

“Yeah, you're right,” Tony cuts in.  “But that was yesterday.  And since now it’s today, and, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine, then I need to get back to working on some stuff.” He shoots Steve a grin, like that somehow makes it okay.  “You're welcome to stay and watch if you want.”

Against all odds, the Avengers have beaten Thanos. But when Tony fails to see that victory for what it is, Steve decides the only way to get him to see reason is to confess the secret he’s been harbouring for way too long.

since i've memorised your face by meidui

Tony waits until they're out of eyeshot to turn the wooden duck over in his hands. “Does reconciliation mean something totally fucking different on their planet?” Tony asks.

Steve manages a laugh. It's funny, because it's a misunderstanding, because Steve is never going to get to marry Tony.

something to live for by Areiton 

“It’ll take time,” Tony says. “Steve, it--it could take years.”

He says it softly, almost a confession, and Steve--

He nods, and says, “All we have now is time, Tones.”

burnt toast, sundays by Lesty (penguinwithitsarseonfire)

Tony stared at the bike as it spluttered pathetically on the side of the road. He had to admit, when he woke up deciding he was going to have pancakes, he didn't see his morning turning out quite like this.

Dammit. All he wanted were some goddamn pancakes, and this was turning into a Tolkein like quest.

--

In which Tony really wants to make some pancakes, Steve wants some eggs, and somehow, they find love instead.

[the-moon-files]

As I work on my college assignments that I have missed due to being sick I can't help but think *damn* I would absolutely hate being transported to another world due to all my responsibilities. Like, even if it was that zero time occurring between getting back home I wouldn't want that, because fuck what if time did pass? What if I got fired from my job or missed on rent and all my stuff got thrown out of my apartment?? I love the idea of being away from my responsibilities but I hate having to go back to more and more things I have to more things I have to make up or have just missed.

Anyway, my brain suddenly attached this to a reader who got stuck in the linked universe. The emotions they would go through because their mind isn't stuck on the past or present but in the future. What if they had pets? Who'd take care of them? How would they pay their bills if they got stuck in an alternate universe? It's a sudden absence of these things that really trip them up because they had so much to do and now it's all gone. They can actually live now. But also they weren't built to live life outside of the weird society we have. How can they learn to live if the way they'd been living was nothing but a mental ladder to keep up with. How can they keep going knowing that back home there are important events and people and animals that they are missing out on.

-✒️ (Sorry for the long ask I'm an a very existential mood rn)

Sorry this is such a late reply!! I've had a "fanfic author curse" kinda year tbh, so I'm just now getting back into my hobbies :/

(i just got so burnt out by life i wasn't even in the mood to play the video games, let alone touch my blogs/write for them :( which is sad bc i love talking to you guys /gen)

So, I hope this late response is okay, and college and things these days are going better for you anon!!

_

BRO RLLY DROPPED MY WORST FEARS IN MY MAIL BOX ON A GODDAMN?? WEDNESDAY EVENING??? 😭😭 /LH

NO but SERIOUSLY this is genuinely a fear ive had in realistic isekai scenario situations,

So for like a year, maybe 2 now? Ive been obsessively consuming "isekai/reincarnation/transmigration anime" or this trope that somehow someway a character is misplaced from their original timeline, maybe just mysteriously yoinked/died/possessed another body in a diff universe, whatever, either way theyre There now, in a diff universe. And animes consistently gloss over this transitional period, that i can see real ppl actually having, to just sort of accept and move on, of course yo get the plot rolling.

But i guess theres just not quite enough sort of nitty-gritty isekai content yet for anyone to get have finally made an isekai genre thing that really goes on the other side of the spectrum, where the MC is like, well, THIS^^^

Like unless ur actually a hermit, youve either pushed away all ur family anf friends or theyve passed away, and you dont have a pet, pr whatever/whoever else,

ive learned after sort of coming out of teen years/rlly long depressive episodes that, Someone will always notice you. Theyll notice youre gone, and theyll miss you.

Like ppl hit u with that angsty, "nobody cares abt me" and then when u realistically sit them down like, "okay. What about your favorite teacher? What about your best friend? What about your online friends who will never see you log on again? What about your dog?"

Like yeah, who will take care of your dog?? Becaue where im at in life, if my sibling dies, ive got no one to care about my old girl, my kitty Mia <3 whos loved me since i was 12 😭

So, ive been actually wanting to fill in somewhat this gap in isekai genre by sort of expanding on it, i mean to be honest fanfiction is the only media ive seen thats gotten close to tackling this, with any amount of realism/emotional depth it deserves.

i hope u found this any amount of satisfying response, i probably would take this is in either a complete horror fashion/tragic scenario (which i don't write that often tbh) or a sort of "angst with a happy ending" like MC/reader worrying freaking out abt homeworld but there's a portal to let you go between worlds or smth

Peace out ✒️,

🌙📁

(i found a file emoji - how do we feel abt it??)

[cryptidvillage]

Bullying Remmick Imagine #1

I'm getting back into writing, and I love being an unserious little menace. I am God's silliest goose fighting Her funniest battles. Remmick needs to be made fun of more, he just makes it too easy. Not proofread, just chaos. Enjoy.

_______________________________________

° It's night. You're finally winding down after a long day, where work and family tried your patience until it was hanging by half a thread. Now that you were at last alone in the peaceful quiet of your abode, you'd be damned to hell if you let anything get between you and your deliciously warm cup of chamomile lavender tea--with two drops of local honey to taste.

° Pursing your lips together, you prepare to blow steam off of the hot liquid. A burnt tongue was certainly unwelcome, and there was no need to suffer for the simple pleasures.

° Knock, knock, knock. Your nose scrunches up in annoyance when you were interrupted by whoever had the foul audacity to knock on your door at this hour. This was, arguably, a sacred nighttime routine for you. And someone had the nerve to impede upon it.

° With a groan, you begrudgingly set down your favorite mug on the wooden table before standing to attention on your tired legs. You glare in the direction of the door. You hoped that if you were a cockatrice, that whoever was standing on the other side would have dropped dead from your fatal stare. You rolled your eyes so hard a black hole probably formed somewhere.

° Every step you took towards the door thundered into the floorboards with an unforgiving ferocity. Anyone with decent hearing would be able to deduce that you were in an irritable state, and they should steer clear, unless they wanted you to make them cry.

° Your fingers wrap around the doorknob and yank it open. Not only was your routine interrupted by knuckles upon your door, but your eyes were assaulted by the most pathetic man you've ever seen in your goddamned life.

° "I-I'm mighty sorry, miss, I do know it's an odd hour," the male specimen stammered, his voice breaking. "But I uh, I've run into some trouble, and I'll need a place to stay the night, lay low and whatnot. I'll be out of your hair come mornin' time, honest."

° With the way this man was begging you, he managed to remind you of all of your worst exes combined into one horrible little amalgamation. It was almost impressive. Almost. Don't ever give a man like him that much credit. Also, if you're going to solicit someone at an ungodly hour, at least have better fashion sense.

° "Wow, are you serious? In that shade of blue?"

° The man frowned at you, his pout straightening into thin lips. "Come again?"

° "Did I stutter? That shade of blue is disgusting. I wouldn't be caught dead in it."

° His mouth hung slightly agape at your words. In all of his existence as a vampire, he'd never had anyone insult him on their doorstep quite like this. Sure, he'd been told he was a sight for sore eyes, looked like he'd narrowly survived a pack of wild dogs, etcetera etcetera. But this? Going after his choice of clothes? It was a new low Remmick didn't think possible.

° "Aww, miss, ya don't gotta be so mean now," the man began again, wagging his finger at you. "Ya don't know what I been through. Please, let a man whose clothes ya don't agree with come in, and crash on the couch or somethin'? Ya don't gotta look at me much if it really bothers ya to yer core."

° You cocked a brow at him. Persistent little fucker, aren't you. Your eyes flicked to his left hand, and a gold wedding band caught your stare. "I see that ring on your finger," you spoke. "I'm sure your wife appreciates you knocking on other women's doors at night. She thinks you're a real keeper, doesn't she?"

° The man's face contorted into one of deep sadness. "I ain't got a wife anymore, miss," he replied. "She--my wife was killed. She's dead. I'm runnin' from the men who killed her, like a goddamned coward. Please take pity on me, don't let the bad men get me like they got her." He then had the idea to sink to his knees and fold his hands together pleadingly. It didn't make him any less kickable.

° Both your eyebrows shot up. Bullshit had a strong, offensive odor.

° "You tell everyone that, don't you?" you shot back. "You're not foolin' me. I bet she divorced your sorry ass. Thoughts and prayers. Not to you, though. I hope your wife got everything. Looks like she did, since you're the one on my porch beggin' like a sad little wet dog, Mr. Divorce." You give a sharp nod of your head, saluting a woman you didn't know across time and space. "Good for her."

° The incredulousness that Remmick felt made his eye twitch, and his pleading hands fell at his sides. Sure, his wife back when he was still a human had willingly left him over a thousand years ago, but this was a low blow. He wished you'd slip up and break the threshold so that he could tear your throat out, permanently taking your ability of hurtful jabs away.

° "I don't understand why you gotta be so cruel to a man who's clearly strugglin'. There's somethin' deeply wrong with ye. Hurt people hurt people, ye know. Maybe I could come in and have a chat with ye, get to know ye more and figure out what's botherin' ye. We could help each other. We don't have to be bickerin' like this."

° You picked up a lick of an Irish accent slipping through his Southern drawl. Bingo.

° "My problem is that my fucking tea is cold now, from me having to stand here listening to you flapping your goddamn cake munchers," you retorted. "Fuck off, Lucky Charms."

° The door slammed in Remmick's face. You did not have the pleasure of seeing him blink like a frog as he struggled to process what the hell had just happened.

[angel-of-the-moons]

A Rose Under The Moon

Moon Knight System (Marc, Jake, Steven) x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Angst. Angst angst angst! Mentions of childhood trauma, child abuse, self-doubt

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long guys, I've been going through... well, a lot lately and it pained me because I wanted to work on so much but I've been so emotionally-burnt out I've been struggling creatively (Yet again falling into the age-old trap of "My stuff is never as good as ___'s" that many of us struggle with)

But I'm hoping, that with this, I can start to feel a bit better!

Taglist: @bad4amficideas @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @shirukitsune @lokisremainingsanity @mundivagantsoul @furblrwurblr @zoleea-exultant @latenightcravingz @daygirl26 @thelastemzy @leahnicole1219 @marsmallow433 @crazyunsexycool @oscarissac2099 @littlenosoul @animechick555 @capsiclesworldsblog @cloudroomblog @lov3vivian @princessakirika

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Chapter 10:

On The Wings Of An Icarus

Jake knew Layla still didn’t fully trust him, based on his propensity for violence. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if she downright hated him, and only tolerated him and spoke politely to save face, for Marc and Steven’s sake.

But, god help him if he didn’t go all out after that night; the night he noticed your soul mark. He showed no mercy on those that Khonshu dispensed him after. Layla practically had to knock him out to get him off; and if he didn’t reign in his control when he did, Marc and Steven would have known something was up. That calm, cool, and collected Jake had cracked because of something and he knew they would attempt to either front or co-front to find out what had shaken him so.

He fisted the glass in his gloved hand, reigning himself in just enough to avoid cracking it.

Three crescent moons, all connected. Each one waxing or waning depending on who was in control of their body or simply co-fronting. You said so yourself.

God, who else could that be referencing if not he, Marc, and Steven? He doubted it was just a goddamned coincidence.

It killed him that he had to keep it a secret from the two of them, but he had no choice. It hurt worse knowing that he wouldn’t be able to tell you–probably never.

You were so… so close. And so far. Like a mirage of an oasis in the desert, always on the horizon, tangible enough to see but not close enough to touch, to hold in his hands.

But… even if they couldn't approach you as their soulmate... Jake could at least let Marc and Steven have you as their friend. Maybe that would assuage the tugging he already knew that they felt.

He had to think of an excuse for if–when–they noticed your mark… Steven would most likely notice it first; he had a habit of looking anywhere else other than someone’s face when he conversed with them, picking at his oversized sleeves and keeping his eyes moving while over-informative words poured from his mouth. Marc was… less observant to such things.

But he would definitely notice if he spent more time with you (not as significantly as Steven does, but still), Marc would get comfortable, enough to let his eyes wander, to open himself up to you. After all… you were their soulmate, it was only natural to feel safe enough around the other half of your very existence, to let your guard down. It was a dangerous game Jake was betting on, being so close to you. He wanted to keep you away, to keep you safe.

But… was it so wrong they have this? Even just a friend? All the horrors they'd been subjected to, the pain, the abuse, the loss… Would it still be so bad to have you, even in that tiny capacity?

But at the same time… if Khonshu tried to use you as leverage–assuming he didn't already know about you–he wouldn't be able to contain himself if something happened under Khonshu’s supervision, as lax as it could be at times.

If someone hurt you? Fuck, he would snap.

He would fight and keep fighting until whoever it was was a bloody mass of pulp and bone fragments.

He looked into his glass of bourbon, a smoky honey flavor that tasted like it had been aged close to a decade. A bit pricey, given the pub he was at, but he needed something right now, something strong enough to numb his mounting anxiety.

His hand slid beneath his jacket to touch his shirt, his gloved fingers knotting in the crisp white fabric as he remembered the night when that human trafficker stabbed him, and he subsequently ripped the knife out.

He'd apologized to you, then, without realizing it was you he apologized to, for being so reckless.

But now that he knew... the guilt came back. How could he be so reckless? So foolhardy as to not take note of his surroundings to prevent that?

You could feel each other's pain. That realization made the abuse he and Marc–and even Steven to a degree–suffered with as a child even worse. The pain your tiny, frail body probably felt–the burns, the welts, the patches of ripped out curls…

He remembered, when he first came into existence; when it got too bad, he would front momentarily to take the worst of the injuries Wendy would inflict upon their poor young body. Marc didn't even know what was happening in the beginning, nor did Steven.

But Jake always knew.

It was like his burden, his own personal curse as the protector. He was cursed with the knowledge that he knew things he couldn't tell others, to protect everyone around him.

Marc, Steven, Layla…

And now you, it seemed.

How could he…

“Jake?” Layla asked, her hand gripping his thick forearm in her small, soft hand, her dark brows pinched upwards in concern. “You were… spacing. Looked like you were thinking about killing someone.” She added.

Jake pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, hissing between his teeth. He could feel it, Marc–or perhaps Steven–threatening to swim to the surface of their headspace to investigate the turmoil and inner upset Jake was overthinking on.

“Lo siento.” He muttered, looking at her for a moment before tipping the glass and downing the last mouthful of bourbon before continuing. “I was…”

“Thinking about her. I can tell.” She admitted, turning her barstool so she could face him, her lips pursed in a thin line.

This was difficult. With Marc and Steven, Layla always knew an approach. But with Jake, she never bothered to learn one. She didn't trust him–not fully, yet–so she never felt the need. From how she found out about him, how the other two figured out that they weren’t the only two inhabiting the body… He never really gave Layla an “in”, so to speak; to learn more and break past those emotional barriers that crumbled when she spoke to Marc or Steven. Damn him and his apparent emotional stoicism!

But seeing just how tortured she finally realized he felt… yeah, Jake did bad things on behalf of that old codger, Khonshu, but…

He carried so much weight on his own shoulders, withheld so much pain to protect others that he may as well have been Atlas, doomed to carry the world on his back for all eternity, never being able to shirk the weight like the mythological person.

It dawned on her, that night on the rooftop over your shop and flat, just how little she truly knew about Jake Lockley.

She didn't know anything she didn't want to know, even from Marc or Steven's mouth. It was just her way, after her father died and Marc fell into her life; to not ask too many questions so she could sleep just a wink better than the nights before.

Jake was violent, scary, methodical… but was he really? Or did she just paint him that way to justify her distrust over the fact Khonshu still used him as Moon Knight and used him to rope poor Marc and Steven back into the role as his Fist?

He wasn't some scary boogeyman, he was… a guy. A guy who loved his “brothers”, his friends, who protected–and loved–fiercely and with his whole being. A man now struggling with the weight of flinging himself into the very instincts so many throughout their lives craved to feel when they finally found their soulmate, or simply denying the possible bliss of being cradled in your loving arms, spending the rest of your lives together…

“Sí, it's… I'm trying to think of a way to keep Marc and Steven in the dark. Maybe if… if I just let them think of her as a friend...” He sighed.

Layla frowned. Okay that was another reason that reminded her why she didn't fully trust him, yet. The fact he was willing to hide such important things from Marc and Steven to “protect” them.

Yes, it was important to protect them, but some things are just inevitable, bound to be found out.

It's the difference between ripping off a bandage or pulling a child out of a clean room.

Pulling off the bandage, yeah, it'll hurt for a moment but it will pass.

However, if you put a child inside of a sterile bubble, the moment that bubble bursts, their immune system will be compromised and they won't be able to adjust to the changing environment around them…

“Jake… sometimes you just have to rip off the band-aid.” Layla replied. “You won't be able to hide this–hide her–from them forever.”

He wiped at his face, and made a frustrated groan. The buzz of the alcohol did little to ease his concerns. After all, once he took up the mantle tonight, his buzz would evaporate like dew beneath the summer sun. Not that London saw much of that these days.

“I know, Layla. I'm just… trying to buy time.”

“Jake… when it comes to your soulmate…” Layla said, giving him a sympathetic look.

“You don't have enough money in the world to do that. It will happen. Whether you're all ready for it or not.”

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Jake hadn't slept well that night. Marc and Steven needed a break, so they were still in the back of his mind, in the headspace, not really conscious of what Jake had been doing inside the body. They thankfully agreed to let Jake assume control, to give his headmates a much-needed break.

“Just like old times?” Layla had quipped sardonically, and, of course, Jake had to pretend the comment didn't hurt him at all. It did, but… he still didn't want her to feel bad about saying it.

Sure, he's done questionable and sometimes horrible things, but it was all for them. Marc, Steven, Layla, innocent people, and now… you.

Beautiful, sweet, oblivious you.

He'd started coming to your shop more, under the excuse that you had good coffee (which honestly you begged to differ, it was merely stuff you bought in bulk at the market) and the quiet atmosphere was more relaxing than a regular cafe; which even you agreed was rather dead. Many people didn’t stop in for a cuppa when simply buying old sci-fi novels…

Jake had even gone so far as to bring the stacks of books that Steven had been meaning to bring to you for a trade-in credit, just for another excuse to come in to see you.

It was all to keep you safe, to make sure nobody bothered you, to make sure you were doing okay.

He promised himself there was nothing less.

But even so, you were the candle flame to his moth, and he was drawn to you.

Drawn to you, but knowing if they got too close or touched you, they would burn, and there would be no going back once they did. What was that saying about flying too close to the sun?

He just… he couldn't let any of you know that he knew. As painful as it was to admit, he was already falling for you and he couldn’t bear to face it for fear of throwing caution to the wind and losing it all.

Not until today, not until he went to the market down the block, in search of something to cook for dinner. It was pouring outside, despite the forecasters saying to expect sleet. No, no, of course it wouldn't be sleet. It was just freezing cold rain. Rain that felt like tiny frozen icicles hitting his skin in fat droplets.

He shook his jacket, the droplets falling from the leather and onto the large carpet beneath his feet at the entrance. After that, Jake pulled his cap back up and nodded politely to the greeter and proceeded his way inside. He was craving something, but wasn’t sure what. Something with a little kick, something with meat. So, undecided on what in particular he wanted to eat, he settled for wandering the aisles, randomly picking up items here and there, pretending to read the labels until he made up his fractured mind.

“Jake? Jake Lockley?”

His head whipped up so quickly he almost felt his vertebrae snap when he lifted his eyes to meet yours, innocent and twinkling as you appeared so sure of your guess. You were instinctively right, of course, but the inner jokester within him was tempted to fake Marc’s voice to mess with you.

He shoved his hands into his jeans–mostly to conceal how badly they were shaking–and tossed you what he hoped was a charming, convincing smirk, “Ah. Caught me red-handed, Rosa. How’d you guess?”

“Well, aside from the fact you’re wearing your trademarked hat and jacket…” You playfully tapped your nose and winked at him. “...You look like you just caught a whiff of–and stepped in--horse shit.”

Jake couldn’t suppress himself, chuckling and shaking his head, “That’s a… unique way of putting it.”

“I’m full of surprises!” You beamed proudly, “So, what’re you here for? I don’t think I’ve bumped into you here, before!”

“Ah, I’m here to… well, find something to eat. Or well, more accurately, something to cook to eat.” He sighed and tipped his head. “I might just buy a frozen dinner and call it a night.”

The offended gasp his comment elicited from you made butterflies flitter about in his belly. He felt like a teenager talking to the popular girl he had a crush on in school.

“Oh no you will not! So many of those have awful preservatives and just aren’t healthy for you!” You tut, reminding him so much of Steven. He couldn’t hold back his smile as you ranted and spoke about healthy eating habits, honestly reminding him of Steven in this moment.

His attention began to wonder as he took in every bit of your face–every blemish or thing you may consider yourself to be an imperfection, tracing every dip and contour of your cheeks, nose, and the slope of your jaw…

“You know what–” You huffed, the hand that wasn’t holding your basket firmly planted on your hip. “No. Why don’t you come have dinner with me? The thought of you making something like some yucky frozen meatloaf is just… blegh.”

Jake felt his brain record-scratch, finally being pulled out of his admiring stupor. “I–what? Oh, no, no, I don’t think that…” He floundered.

Him! The Jake Lockley, left without a quip to be uttered!

“Nah.” You say, walking past him. “I'm making you dinner. C’mon, I’ll need help grabbing stuff.”

On sheer instinct, he followed you like an obedient puppy. “Look, uh, I…”

“Not takin’ no for an answer, Lockley. Now, c’mon!”

The man was hopeless. All he could do was admire your figure and personality once again. Sweet, gentle–but also fiery and bull-headed when it suited you.

Jake fished his phone out of his pocket and pulled up Layla’s number, texting;

“Order something out for dinner, La-La… It looks like I have plans.”

🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒

Chapter 11: Link

[animentality]

I agree that Nagi being eliminated is a good writing decision and makes sense and will develop their arc better and I cant wait until the next chapter comes out to see what happens but my gut decision was being upset because it hurt my soul. When they are alright again I ll probably find it funny that I overreacted but without hindsight it hurts because for some reason my brain thinks he might as well have died. And I think (hope) its the same case for most because this is the most interesting blue lock has been in a while.

The overreaction in fans could also be because a lot of them might have started bllk because they were nagireo fans or after they went in blind for the epinagi movie but didn’t really form attachments to other characters or even isagi ( if this was Haikyuu he wouldn’t have won the whole nel arc, pxg win). Nel has been going on for so long it feels like the end all be all and we lost focus with the world cup and because of that I believe most nare fans want to skip to the happy ending for them, which would be nice in the short term but bad in the long term.

Blue Lock in general had completely lost its fire, and you could almost tangibly feel its own creator pulling away from it.

There's a reason both the artist and writer felt the need to apologize in their latest volume. I think they're burnt out.

This is the most passion I've seen in Kaneshiro in a long time.

I understand the gut reaction of hating when your two favorites are no longer dating and all. And I get Nagi fans being upset. And Reo fans being upset.

You feel however you feel.

But it's frustrating because you are getting...incredible character development here.

Nagi is going to come back. Reo is top 7.

Nagi has to chase Reo now.

And he's going to have this epic comeback ARC.

And it's actually the most exciting thing Blue Lock has done in a very long time, while also twisting in the most delicious of knives... but people complain about it?

Like come the fuck on.

If Nagi had won, it would've been so incredibly out of nowhere.

And super boring.

I think I'm just bitter because Bachira was out of the manga for so long...and Shidou was an afterthought.

And I'd like... kill to get this kind of delicious tragedy and melodrama.

I'd die for some Bachisagi angst.

NagiReo fans get this whole ass soap opera...this Shakespearan tragedy...and they hate it?

Like bitch?

Do you only read coffee shop AUs?

What makes Blue Lock interesting is the melodrama.

NagiReo are THE melodrama couple.

Them staying together...bleh.

Boring boring boring.

A third divorce was the way more fun way to go.

But y'all are hating on it and saying NagiReo should've won and been happy forever and ever... ok, but then look at Bachisagi.

No one even remembers that ship exists.

And it's bc they're too goddamn happy.

Conflict is life in a story.

To die, over and over again, is such a privilege, and it's one Nagi doesn't deserve, but continues to get.

Rejoice at his death, because his resurrection will come.

and do NOT complain at a Bachira fan.

He's probably going to be irrelevant for the rest of the story. Idk if he and Isagi are even friends anymore.

Count your damn blessings, guys.

[rpmemecollection]

Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from Chappell Roan's album, possible nsft content. Change bits and bobs as needed

01. Femininomenon

❝Same old story, time again. Got so close but then you lost it.❞ ❝Should've listened to your friends about his girlfriend back in Boston.❞ ❝You sent him pictures and playlists and phone sex.❞ ❝I'm so sick of online love and I don't understand why can't any man?❞ ❝Um, can you play a song with a fucking beat?❞ ❝Make a bitch go on and on.❞ ❝It's a femininomenon.❞ ❝So let's say it's working out.❞ ❝You pretend to love his mother.❞ ❝Lying to your friends about how he's such a goddamn good lover.❞ ❝Got what you wanted, so stop feeling sorry.❞ ❝I'm so sick of online love.❞ ❝And I don't understand, why can't any man?❞ ❝Dude, can you play a song with a fucking beat?❞ ❝You know what I mean and you know what you need and so does he.❞ ❝But does it happen? No!❞ ❝Well, what we really need is a femininomenon!❞ ❝Did you hear me? Play the fucking beat!❞

02. Red Wine Supernova

❝She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot.❞ ❝She showed me things I didn't know.❞ ❝She did it right there out on the deck, put her canine teeth in the side of my neck.❞ ❝I'm in the hallway waiting for you.❞ ❝I just want you to make a move.❞ ❝So slow down, sit down, it's new.❞ ❝I just wanna get to know you.❞ ❝Guess I didn't quite think it through.❞ ❝Fell in love with the thought of you. Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out.❞ ❝Baby, why don't you come over?❞ ❝I don't care that you're a stoner.❞ ❝I like what you like.❞ ❝Long hair, no bra. It's my type.❞ ❝You just told me ‘Want me to fuck you.’ Baby, I will 'cause I really want to.❞ ❝I fell in love with the thought of you.❞ ❝Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out.❞ ❝Okay, y'all, let's pick it up now.❞ ❝Well, back at my house I've got a california king. Okay, maybe it's a twin bed and some roommates.❞ ❝Don't worry, we're cool.❞ ❝I heard you like magic, I've got a wand and a rabbit.❞ ❝So baby, let's get freaky, get kinky! Let's make this bed get squeaky!❞

03. After Midnight

❝Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone.❞ ❝It's not attractive, wearing that dress and red lipstick.❞ ❝This is what I wanted, this is what I like.❞ ❝I've been a good, good girl for a long time but baby, I like flirting.❞ ❝Can't be a good, good girl even if I tried.❞ ❝Cause after midnight I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the club lights.❞ ❝I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend, if you don't mind.❞ ❝I love a little drama, let's start a bar fight.❞ ❝Cause everything good happens after midnight.❞ ❝I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the moonlight.❞ ❝I kinda wanna kiss your boyfriend, if you don't mind.❞ ❝Let's watch the sunrise.❞ ❝I really want your hands on my body.❞ ❝That’s my type of fun, that's my kind of party.❞ ❝Your hands on my body, your hot hands.❞ ❝I've been a good, good girl for a long time.❞ ❝Baby, put your hands up, be a freak in the club.❞ ❝Yeah, I'll make a move.❞

04. Coffee

❝Can't meet you for dinner at the Italian place, it's where I met your family.❞ ❝I'd suggest the jazz bar on Mary Ann Street, but you'd buy me a drink and we know where that leads.❞ ❝I'll meet you for coffee, because if we have wine you'll say that you want me, I know that's a lie.❞ ❝If I didn't love you, it would be fine.❞ ❝Meet you for coffee, only for coffee.❞ ❝Nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your place.❞ ❝You said let's do the park, because I love the park. That may be true, but God forbid it gets dark.❞ ❝Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions but I'd rather feel something than nothing at all.❞ ❝You'll say that you're sorry, I know that's a lie.❞ ❝If I didn't trust you, it would be fine.❞ ❝We've done this before and I don't need it anymore.❞ ❝So let's not do coffee, let's not even try.❞ ❝It's better we leave it and give it some time.❞ ❝Because if we do coffee, it's never just coffee.❞

05. Casual

❝My friends call me a loser ‘cause I'm still hanging around.❞ ❝I've heard so many rumors that I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch.❞ ❝I thought you thought of me better.❞ ❝You said, "We're not together." So now when we kiss, I have anger issues.❞ ❝You said, "Baby, no attachment" but we're knee-deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out. Is it casual now?❞ ❝Is it casual now?❞ ❝I know what you tell your friends.❞ ❝It's casual.❞ ❝If it's casual now then baby, get me off again.❞ ❝Dumb love, I love being stupid.❞ ❝Maybe we'd have an apartment and you'd show me off to your friends at the pier.❞ ❝Baby, no attachment.❞ ❝It's hard being casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser.❞ ❝It's hard being casual when I'm on the phone talking down your sister.❞ ❝I try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space.❞ ❝I try to be the chill girl but honestly, I'm not.❞ ❝You wonder why I’m bitter.❞ ❝Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it. I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry, dude, you didn't.❞ ❝I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself.❞ ❝Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell.❞

06. Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

❝Never waste a Friday night on a first date.❞ ❝But there I was, in my heels with my hair straight.❞ ❝So, I take him to this bar; this man wouldn't dance, he didn't ask a single question, and he was wearing these fugly jeans.❞ ❝Ew.❞ ❝It doesn't matter though, he doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me.❞ ❝Not overdramatic, I know what I want.❞ ❝We're leaving the planet, and you can't come.❞ ❝I'm through with all these hyper mega bummer boys like you.❞ ❝Oh yeah, I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me.❞ ❝We're hot, we're drunk.❞ ❝Look at her moving, baby, she's the one.❞ ❝At every party, we're the party, shaking our asses.❞ ❝Making out while the world collapses.❞ ❝I know what I want.❞ ❝Get up off your feet, get up on that bar.❞ ❝With everything you feel and everything you are, walk that walk.❞ ❝You’re a star.❞

07. HOT TO GO!

❝I could be the one, or your new addiction.❞ ❝It's all in my head, but I want non-fiction.❞ ❝I don't want the world, but I'll take this city.❞ ❝Who can blame a girl?❞ ❝Call me hot, not pretty.❞ ❝Baby, do you like this beat? I made it so you'd dance with me.❞ ❝It's like a hundred ninety-nine degrees when you're doing it with me.❞ ❝Dance it out, you're hot to go.❞ ❝You can take me hot to go.❞ ❝Well, I woke up alone.❞ ❝I try not to care, but it hurts my feelings.❞ ❝You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it.❞ ❝No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute.❞ ❝Baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me.❞ ❝It's like a hundred ninety-nine degrees.❞ ❝What's it take to get your number?❞ ❝What's it take to bring you home?❞ ❝Hurry up, it's getting cold!❞ ❝Hurry up, it's time for supper!❞ ❝Order up, I'm hot to go!❞ ❝Whew, it's hot in here Is anyone else hot?❞ ❝Woo, you comin' home with me?❞ ❝I'll call the cab.❞

08. My Kink is Karma

❝We broke up on a Tuesday.❞ ❝Who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended?❞ ❝It's comical, bridges you burn.❞ ❝If karma's real, hope it's your turn.❞ ❝It's hot when you have a meltdown in the front of your house and you're getting kicked out.❞ ❝It's hot when you're drinking downtown and you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth.❞ ❝My kink is watching you ruin your life.❞ ❝My kink is watching you crashing your car.❞ ❝People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma.❞ ❝Wishing you the best, in the worst way.❞ ❝No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater.❞ ❝But it's hot when you have a meltdown.❞ ❝You ruin your life.❞ ❝My kink is karma.❞ ❝It's hot when you're going through hell and you're hating yourself.❞ ❝It's hot when you know that you're caught and you're getting pissed off.❞ ❝People say I'm jealous.❞

09. Picture You

❝Draw the blinds, light every candle.❞ ❝Slip off my pretty dress down my chest when I think of you every night.❞ ❝It's ritualistic, counting lipstick stains where you should be.❞ ❝Oh, I need you around, I'm getting close now.❞ ❝Do you picture me like I picture you?❞ ❝Am I in the frame from your point of view?❞ ❝Do you feel the same? I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you.❞ ❝So, tell me now all your perversions.❞ ❝Oh, I need you around.❞ ❝I'm getting close now.❞ ❝Do you feel the same?❞ ❝I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you.❞

10. Kaleidoscope

❝Here we go again, everything is fine.❞ ❝I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line.❞ ❝But ever since that day, everything has changed.❞ ❝If you really wanna leave, I'll never make you stay.❞ ❝Whatever you decide, I will understand and it'll all be fine and just go back to being friends.❞ ❝Love is a kaleidoscope; how it works, I'll never know.❞ ❝And even all the change, it's somehow all the same.❞ ❝Turn it to the left and right, colors shining in your eye and even upside down, it's beautiful somehow.❞ ❝It's never just a shape alone, love is a kaleidoscope.❞ ❝And if you ever find someone who could write a better song for you, well, I'd love to see them try.❞ ❝There's no one else who could, the only one is you.❞ ❝And if you change your mind, I will understand and it'll just take time to go back to being friends.❞ ❝Every color of the rainbow, don't be afraid to hold it close.❞

11. Pink Pony Club

❝I know you wanted me to stay but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in L.A.❞ ❝I heard that there's a special place where boys and girls can all be queens every single day.❞ ❝I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee.❞ ❝I swear it's calling me.❞ ❝Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene.❞ ❝She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream.❞ ❝God, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl, and you dance at the club.❞ ❝Oh mama, I'm just having fun on the stage in my heels, it's where I belong, down at the Pink Pony Club.❞ ❝I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Pink Pony Club.❞ ❝I'm gonna keep on dancing down in West Hollywood.❞ ❝Every night's another reason why I left it all.❞ ❝I thank my wicked dreams.❞ ❝God, what have you done?❞ ❝Don't think I've left you all behind. Still love you and Tennessee, you're always on my mind.❞ ❝Mama, every Saturday I can hear your Southern drawl a thousand miles away.❞ ❝I'm gonna keep on dancing.❞

12. Naked in Manhatten

❝I know you just landed and I know you're probably busy but I would love to see you.❞ ❝So, call me when you can.❞ ❝I'd love if you knew you were on my mind, constant like cicadas in the summertime.❞ ❝We both know we're getting drunk tonight.❞ ❝Touch me, baby, put your lips on mine.❞ ❝Could go to hell but we'll probably be fine.❞ ❝I know you want it, baby, you can have it.❞ ❝I wanna know, baby, what is it like?❞ ❝Oh, I've never done it.❞ ❝Touch me, baby.❞ ❝A Pisces, who knew that we were so aligned?❞ ❝An inch away from more than just friends.❞ ❝If I don't try, then it's my loss.❞ ❝Won't you fucking touch me?❞ ❝I just want to touch you.❞ ❝I want all of your love.❞

13. California

❝I stretched myself across four states.❞ ❝I traded amber clay roads for the sea foam and the endless sun rays.❞ ❝Because I was never told that I wasn't gonna get the things I want the most.❞ ❝If it hasn't happened yet then maybe you should go.❞ ❝Thought I'd be cool in California.❞ ❝I'd make you proud.❞ ❝To think I almost had it going but I let you down.❞ ❝Too hard to find reasons to stay, even true love could not persuade.❞ ❝Come get me out.❞ ❝Come get me out of California, no leaves are brown.❞ ❝I miss the seasons in Missouri, my dying town.❞

14. Guilty Pleasure

❝Think back to what you said and I turn red, I'm turning red.❞ ❝Sometimes, I scare myself but I can't help what I can't help.❞ ❝So shame on me and shame on you.❞ ❝I fantasize what we would do and how would it taste and the way you move.❞ ❝Oh, some good girls do bad things too.❞ ❝I want this like a cigarette. Can we drag it out and never quit?❞ ❝Oh my god, you are Heaven-sent with your dirty mind.❞ ❝Yeah, you're perverted.❞ ❝You give me guilty, guilty plеasure.❞ ❝Feels like pornography watching you try on jeans.❞ ❝I fantasize what we would do.❞ ❝Can we drag it out and never quit?❞ ❝Oh my God, you are Heaven-sent.❞

[sillystarters]

it's always sunny in philadelphia season sixteen starter sentences.

starter sentences taken from episodes one - three from season sixteen of it's always sunny in philadelphia. part one of ??

have you ever seen teenage mutant ninja turtles ?

you spent close to $20,000 on a couch you never owned.

that's pretty bad business fellas.

now listen i have glued my hand to a door so they can't physically remove me.

you know, i know stuff.

that's money talk right there.

how much nut do you go through a month?

are you storing up your nut or are you blowing through it?

i'll give you fifty cents for a buck.

come, have a seat.

it was super cheap dude.

well listen, i don't really have any interest in your bulk tin of low end economy nuts.

yeah don't make a mess.

what's behind that door?

holy shit! what the fuck is this?

i wasn't tryin' to be crypto about it.

this is tits!

can i sleep in here?

we're gonna blow our shoes out with all this walking.

how is this not a big deal?

move past it dude, move past it man.

i really ultimately don't give a shit.

did you glue your hand to my door?

i can tell you're mad.

i can't deal with this.

and just leave me here all alone?

i don't wanna be a bad host.

you know what, this was a mistake.

i can't sleep.

what is going on with you dude?

what you workin' on there bud?

is that thing loaded, by the way?

get off my back.

you know what? screw this.

i am in the prime of my life.

okay so it was loaded, my mistake. don't be so dramatic.

it's not like anybody's in any real danger.

getting shot in the face is pretty cool.

i do care about the money though.

i got some bad news for ya, bud.

i figured you probably forgot too or something.

did you try to pull out your own teeth?

i'm so sorry.

i didn't have the heart to tell you.

those ungrateful bitches.

i can't believe you did this!

i'm not mad at you okay? it's fine.

you did make a mistake.

i didn't mean to upset you.

this is not working.

should we just attack him and take it?

shut up!

this is my worst nightmare in my entire life.

she burnt the shit outta me.

i got a little surprise for ya.

you wanna take it easy? goddamn. just one bite at a time.

ha! i almost ate my gun.

i hope everyone brought their appetite because i made quiche!

this is like, everything you've ever wanted.

that is ... sad.

this is so annoying.

alright, where to now?

a perfect day can't last forever.

what the hell are you doing?

you're outta control with that thing.

just barge right in okay don't be shy.

oh my god what are you doing here?

this is so distasteful.

asmr, dickweed!

how long has it been?

that's a definite pass for me.

this is a million to one shot and i've got a really good feeling about this.

our luck just turned around.

i don't wanna have my ass handed to me.

we have a problem.

whatever you do, don't laugh.

this is bad, dude.

what? why are you trying to break my door down at three in the morning?

i just wanted to ask if you could kindly keep the noise down.

this was very sweet of you to bake these for me.

it's a trophy, see? it says cunt of the year. that's you!

bad things are going to happen to you one day. i guarantee it.

you earned it!

we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck.

come here you rat! die!

it's time to make good on your end of the bargain.

what is your deal, man?

i'm going to beat you with my shoe!

we gotta take this seriously.

go make your apologies!

i'm done listening to this.

'just in case' is as good of a reason to believe in anything as any.

i don't believe in that bullshit.

well, that's not good.

that's a bad omen!

boy, that's a shame.

thank you for this.

i'm just trash right? that's what you said.

i got you a sixer!

i gotta show you something but you gotta keep it a secret.

you're not following.

it makes literally no sense.

a moment of your time?

i'm sorry your dad doesn't like you.

[zdusk]

Uh. Long time no see?!?!?!? Quick life update for anyone out there who follows me and still checks this site:

I bought a horse last year

Her name is Firefly (Princess Fairymount Firefly) and she is 2 and she is the love of my life. Also since I got her she has changed colour two times: her summer coat went from a lovely golden dun to a white winter coat to a burnt toast sort of winter-summer-shedding season look. But that buckskin dun is starting to peek thru her dark shoulders again so I'm pretty confident that she's going to return to her previous state and I probably haven't purchased a magical colour changing animal. Bummer.

When I got her, I thought I was getting a rising 3 year old whom I would be training this summer, but I found out recently that she's only turning 2 this May meaning she was only a year and a half old when I bought her. Super disappointing since that's put me off my plans by a whole year, but I'm not going to sell and look for something else because unfortunately I already love her so much and I have a feeling she's going to be worth her weight in gold. Like, she already IS worth her weight in gold and then some to me because she's got the calmest disposition I've EVER seen on a baby horse, but that just means I've found something so special and you'd really have to pry her from my cold dead hands at this point.

There's also my baby doggie Odin!!!!!!!!! I just led with the horse cuz yknow, a lot of my old mutuals here are sso girlies/boyies/themies so I figured the horse might be the more exciting news

He turned 3 last November and I have been raising him since he was an egg. For those of you who knew Hildi, this cringe ass thang is her successor and he's my best friend in the whole world to whom I tell all of my secrets. He LOVES to bark at children though which isn't really cool but we're working on that together. When he isn't barking at unsuspecting children, he's a FIEND for a game of frisbee‐ unfortunately he has also injured his paws TWICE while playing frisbee so its considered a high risk sport for him. That's just how goddamn serious he is about it. If frisbee was a thing at the Olympics he probably wouldn't win but he'd give it his best damn shot and headlines would call his loss 'tragic' but his attempt 'inspirational.' Wait isn't frisbee actually in the Olympics but it's just called discus instead? Hang on a sec I need to call Odin's agent

Odin was sort of the first breakthrough I had with the whole Finding Happiness thing. Like yes surviving the puppy phase was, in my opinion, similar to trying to survive a war, but its been so rewarding to care for and nurture something that has turned around and given me nothing but unconditional love in return. Like seriously, the feeling of being loved by this dog is so strong to the point that its almost overwhelming. He stares at me lovingly even while I'm brushing my teeth like look at this

He seriously breaks my heart ouuuughhhhhhhhhh Odin I love you more than I can put into words without you I'd be NOTHING!!!!!!

I'm probably the happiest I've been in like the last 10 years now. To those of you who knew me from age 16 to about 20-21, No You Didn't and I'm only like, half joking. You knew a very depressed version of me and tbh so did I, I'm still getting used to what happiness is like for me (turns out it's kinda stressful?!?!?!? But when you're the only horse person in the family looking after an animal that can get so stressed out that it gives itself stomach ulcers and dies, I think a healthy dose of stress isn't unusual. Those are a lot of important shots to call!) but it's been nice. I've been meeting new people and making new friends and having invaluable experiences. But also if you knew me from age 16 to 20-21 I am so sorry. I was a WEIRD kid. Now I'm a weird adult. How time flies, eh?

If any of the old wormy men or my other sso mutuals are reading this, I think about you sometimes. I hope life has been treating you well, and you've had lots of ups with your inevitable downs. I'd say I'll try to be more active, but I don't know how true that might be so for now all I can offer is a big fat 'we'll see.' I might just be giving this update to ghosts for all I know.

The funniest joke in this whole post was when I said this was a 'quick' life update and then wrote like 6 whole paragraphs haha classic Z

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

Stop...You're Losing Me

Words: 872

Warnings: angst, no dialogue, probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

Takes place a few years after Bruce adopted Dick and a few before Dick left. Y/N, also from a big and prominent Gotham family, and Bruce have been together for 6, going on 7, years

Sorry that this took so long! I kept getting distracted while writing it/lost motivation. Plus I've been really busy this summer (saw Waterparks & Bring Me The Horizon/Fall Out Boy and I've been seeing different films and getting into other things, but I still love DC! I even finally finished the films for the DCAU)

Also this whole thing is NO HATE to Selina. I love that woman more than anything. She's just the one of Bruce's love interests I'm the most familiar with (followed by Talia then maybe Vicki?)

Based off of her new and technically unreleased song, You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift, specifically the bridge and outro

Part 1 here

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Y/N stood across the room from Bruce. The moment after they walked into the room together, hand in what she was starting to think was an unloveable hand, Bruce had dropped it. He dropped it and immediately made his way to Selina Kyle.

She sighed as she grabbed a glass as a waiter walked by with them on his little tray. If she was going to have to go through another one of these events where Bruce made a promise beforehand just to immediately break, she didn't want to have to go through it sober.

She didn't want to have to take another night of her and her champagne problems sober again.

--------

Five hours had passed and Y/N knew that Bruce was not planning on leaving any time soon. She had already called Alfred for him to come pick her up. She was tired and felt pathetic. Finally burnt out from trying to keep her and Bruce afloat for so long just for him to always push her aside.

So many times had she tried to stay and be brave for them. Stay and not act like she was dying behind the scenes. She was tired of the constant begging for his attention. The constant reminding him that she was right there by his side, fighting for him, supporting him unconditionally.

But she was finally done.

Done with the rumors and the reports. Being left alone at parties and events. Promises that they would work it out but then Selina would show her face and he would float towards her.

Even when Y/N was right there in the best-dammed dress she owned. Looking and being the best damn thing at the goddamned party.

And as she sat in the car next to Alfred with a sleeping Dick in the back, she couldn't help but stare at her hand. In most relationships, there would be a ring on it. But there was nothing. And it wasn't that she didn't get why that was. She lived to make everyone else happy first. It was a compulsive act of hers. So often she would get sleepless nights just trying to make sure no one would come and sneak up on Bruce during his Batman nights while finishing up a report that was needed. She would always do it.

But the reality was that she just needed Bruce to be there and remind her he was. Perhaps that was why she wished there was some ring on her finger to signify that. To remind her that Bruce has and will always be hers.

And when they got back to the Manor, she ushered Alfred to go finish whatever it was he had been doing before and she would get Dick to bed, those thoughts still stayed in her head.

As she readied herself to sleep and Bruce still hadn't returned, the thoughts stayed.

As she laid in bed, body facing the door and his side of the bed, the continued rampant.

Worry that maybe she wasn't good enough for him anymore. That he was happier when around someone like Selina.

Someone more like him.

--------

It would be worse the following days after these events. Those feelings of doubt and betrayal. Days when she wouldn't be able to do anything without an article reminding her that Bruce never said a thing to her the entire night. That she left alone. That he had his arm around Selina for most of the night. That they had left together.

Every single time she saw one, she prayed that she would see something about Bruce defending her. Bruce saying it was a lie. Him saying anything.

But it never came.

And she knew it was with the fear that he would ruin his reputation. But at this point, she didn't care. All that she wanted was for him to do something. Say something. To lose or risk something. To choose something. Chose anything. Even if it wasn't her. Because truly, she had nothing to get from him anymore. Because all of this made her just think that she had nothing anymore.

--------

So when it was the dead of the night. When he was off being Batman, she finally gave up. She finally grabbed the bags and stuffed everything into them. Stuffed all that she could before he got home.

She no longer could find a pulse in their relationship to cling on to

And the moments following when Bruce got back, he was confused. She was there in the Batcave, head laying on the keyboard as she was falling asleep. She wasn't jumping up, excited that he was back. It was silence.

A silence that cut the air.

A silence that stayed as he walked up and to their shared his room.

A silence that stayed as he opened the door to find the bed made.

That stayed as he walked into the bathroom to find all of her things gone.

That stayed when he ran into the closet to her clothes and shoes gone.

That stayed as he slumped onto their his bed.

That stayed because he had finally done it. He had finally lost her. Because all of her warnings and worries finally became the truth and reality.

[kubb-is-a-swedish-lawn-game]

yesterday I got onion bagels at the store and I decided I wanted to make an egg and cheese bagel sandwich. so today I dug out a tiny little square pan I've never used that is meant to grill a sandwich and intended to make a little egg patty with it. I had everything laid out! bagel on a plate ready to be popped in the toaster. pan on the burner. I pour the egg into the pan and give it a little stir and then it hits me oh no oh dear I forgot to butter the pan. now this is something I frequently do while cooking because I am rather forgetful and not good in high-stress situations and cooking though I love it is a very high-stress situation for me BUT this usually isn't that big of a deal! the pans I usually cook with are very good quality nonstick pans! This pan was not nonstick. I can't emphasise how not nonstick this pan was. this pan might've been a Stick pan, made specifically for food to stick to it. the underlayer of egg and the pan had stuck together like long-lost brothers waiting to be reunited, embracing so tightly they may never part again. I'd say a whole fucking egg's worth got stuck to that goddamn pan. In the process of desperately trying to scramble the remaining unstuck egg so that I'd still have something to eat I also realized that I put too much egg in this poor little pan and now there was egg overflowing, spilling out of the corners and onto the burner. the eggs, unable to make up their mind on how they wanted to ruin my meal, were half burnt and half undercooked, parts of them strangely grayish. in my haste I also forgot to butter the bagels so it was dry as a desert too as I finally sat down to eat this terrible mess. this is the first time in years that I have experienced the urge deep in my gut to say "I'm going to kill myself" out loud

[myhatisblue]

Part 7, it's pretty much just a long conversation, but I've never actually written a scene involving so many people at once who actually are talking together. It was an unexpected challenge.

If I had the brain power, maybe I could have made predictions. The easy guess would be to assume that I’d end up in a cell.  Somewhere far underground and locked behind 6 feet of steel walls doomed to never the light of day again.  I might have killed a guy on top of breaking the fuck down.  

Yep that seemed most likely… And as it turned out very wrong.  Instead when I finally opened my eyes I was still in my little piece of hell. I must have been moved to my shelter, because I was somehow in bed. The pain was the first thing that caught my attention. My arms were in a pretty fucked up state. The bands must have been removed for a time because they was bandaging beneath them. Even then that wasn’t enough to fully hide the fact that the skin underneath was burnt to the point of being pitch black. Even with all their tricks and the advantages I had here this wasn’t healing fast. My brain’s chain of command felt like it was crippled, meaning my hands and fingers were particularly slow to respond to what I wanted them to do. Still capable of movement but practically useless for the time being. 

When I was finally able to drag my eyes from that mess I was being intensely stared at. I didn’t know who the first person was, but they kinda looked like a tall lanky twig… I’m pretty sure a strong enough wind might knock them to the ground. Given they were dressed in a black lab coat with a blue shirt under it, and the fact that they looked pretty tired, it was pretty easy to guess that they were either a doctor or a scientist.  Their short messy blue hair seemed like a strange choice but I guess they made it work…? They were tapping away at the seemingly vast array of what I assumed was medical equipment, a brand new addition to the home that seems to have taken advantage of all the excess space I’d left myself. 

The two other faces I already knew… Sneckdraw was leaning against the wall near the corner, and Harris seemed to have made himself home again as was using my chairs, reading on one of those e-book things. 

“Great, what a group.. two out of three of you have already shot me.”

The stranger was the first to pipe up.

“If it would make you feel more comfortable I could shoot you as well.  I think I’ve got a staple gun around here somewhere… I assume it could fit the bill since you seem to be using the term shot loosely. Knowing Sneckdraw he likely used a nail.”

“Wow how tempting, but I think I’ll pass. That’s a pretty personal thing and all and I don’t even know who you are...”

How the fuck else could I respond to that  besides words soaked in sarcasm?

“Oh, we've met before on the beach. The first time I saw it the sight was unforgettable.”

My face felt like it was on fucking fire when I put together what that meant. This must be the person Ken mentioned. He was definitely right about them being androgynous, even after hearing them talk I still couldn’t guess. Not that I’d particularly care to investigate the topic. For all I know they’re an alien or some other equally human shaped monster or just a normal dude. It’s better to not know the details.  No right now I’d rather get the fuck out then be in this room.

“I’d been studying this place for months, I couldn’t have imagined that it could be reformed in the way that the ocean was. You also immediately tested the state of the water, that was very convenient and saved much time on my end.

Oh thank fucking god this person was a goddamn nerd. 

“That scar was also very impressive to watch, if you don’t mind could I see-”

“Stop fucking stop, I already wanted to die after hearing about that from Ken.”

Sneckdraw was the one who stepped forward and ended this nightmare of a conversation.

“What they are not expanding on is the fact that they were told extensively not to meddle in the affairs of this place during the test period.”

“There were a good twenty scientists actively debating and taking bets on if he was dead. Somebody needed to go find out, and I was the only one experienced in being here. 

What they forgot to take into account when making bets was that I’d make sure you got up. I cleaned them all out with that one, there were angry faces then but I bought back samples so-”

They kept going on but I couldn’t look away from Sneckdraw, more my senses were immediately locked on how broken every fiber and bit of bone was. I think I might have even interrupted whatever nonsense that nerd was going on about.

“Holy shit, your body… It’s beyond fucked… Every inch of it is screaming.”

There was no reaction or movement, like always his mask hid everything.

“It has been this way for decades, it makes little difference.”

“Come on you’re lying, it’s so goddamn loud, there’s no way that isn’t killing you.”

“Perhaps it is, but what worth does that hold for one who does not die? It is a mere distraction.”

Harris didn’t even look up from his book when he spoke up.

“We’ve been trying to get him to retire for decades, he’s too stubborn to stop no matter what anyone tells him.”

“You bring that up again, after what you bore witness to?”

Harris didn’t respond but all three eyes had moved towards me. I had a pretty good feeling about what they were all thinking about.

“What exactly did Kenneth make me say? I heard it all but that bit at the end felt wrong.”

Looks were shared and Sneckdraw was the one who provided an answer.

“A dead language without a name, said to bring forth the end times. The translations were purposely lost to avoid that outcome, but the effects were still documented.  It was said the mind rejects the mere utterance of it.”

Harris put away his book and looked towards the floor.

“It may not have a translation but any word of it basically means ‘the end is nigh’... We were blessed that it wasn’t instantaneous, but taking the rest of Kenneth’s story into account paints a grim warning.”

Sneckdraw hadn’t stopped glaring at me. His dying flesh was still impossible to ignore, but he’d kept enough distance, and the cement further dampened the effects. If he made contact with the fleshy parts outside, or got any closer to the actual me it’d be a fucking nightmare. Again he took control of the conversation.

“Are there any further insights you can provide Mills?”

“Insights huh… Uh I think I met those other ‘Eldritch Lords’ Ken mentioned… met might be the wrong word… It’s more that I experienced them? I dunno.”

All three of them ended up saying variations of ‘you what??’ at the same time. 

“Uh… after I ate Descry’s heart, I ended up seated at a table in the middle of space. I heard a lot of voices I couldn’t understand, and shapes that might have been something… I was a little too busy to take in much more since Descry’s was trying to eat me from the inside out at the time. I ended up using one of the golden steak knives that were set out to stab the part of my chest where it felt like he was, and stuff after that is fuzzy.”

Twig over there was the first to start the flurry of questions.

“How did you manage to break through your sternum with only a steak knife with them watching on top of it!?”

“Uh… I kind of just held it against the table and slammed into it… I think I was pretty fucked up at the time so any other method didn’t seem doable.”

Harris interrupted the twig, before they even got any sort of legible word out.

“What happened to the knife?”

“What happened to it? Lucy, that woman in the white suit took it.”

There was a pause, a strange silence that hung in the air… And then Harris spoke.

“Well it’s good it was destroyed. That would have been annoying to deal with down the line.”

I stared at him completely confused. Did he have a hearing problem? That wasn’t even remotely close to what I said… I looked around the room and there didn’t seem to be anything else weird going on here.  Just as I was about to correct him but noticed that Sneckdraw had taken out a golden pocket watch. He looked at the time and stared directly at me.  He didn’t need words, him shaking his head after that combination of motions was enough.  Given Sneckdraw took it out when he did, it must have been happening because of Lucy right? No that’s not possible right?  I think I remember bringing her up with Brandon, and him not knowing who I was talking about… But… that was before I made a deal with her and took the watch right…?  Fuck it’s been too long…

I knew that was a bad move but hadn’t accounted for it actually affecting things as small as conversations. I was making too many assumptions and guesses, I’d need to talk to sneckdraw alone when I get the chance to really confirm it. 

“Has Kenneth said anything further since you have awoken?”

Can’t be sure if Sneckdraw’s question was one he actually wanted answered or just a way to move on quickly from that conversation. 

“Nope, nothing yet, but he normally comes and goes as he pleases. Didn’t even know he could kick me out like that… He did say I was too ‘fucked up’ to stop him, Harris was stompping the shit out of me so that probally played a part.”

Looks shifted to Harris.

“The alert went off that he’d set off the bands. So I treated it as the threat it was, just like it’s required of the job description. You don’t survive to be my age by taking something already shady at face value.”

The twig piped up.

“He did follow protocol, it would have helped us if you let us know that Ken wasn’t just your mind slipping.  Maybe let him take control for a little while when we were observing?  I would love to know how he made his eye.”

“I told you already I didn’t know he could do that.  And when are you going to introduce yourself or should I just call you Twig to your face?”

“Twig? I’ve never had a nickname that wasn’t ‘doc’ or some variation of ‘nerd’ before… It’s a little rude but I guess the variety is nice. Yeah, let's go with Twig. It’s not like anyone here would be dumb enough to use their real name.” 

Twig looked so goddamn smug but I got the feeling that the other two were chuckling under their breaths when they glanced at me.

“I’m right here.”

“Uh… Well Mills is generic enough that people might just think you worked in a lumber Mill, or really into grain managment…?”

“Sure, go with that… I’ll do you the favor and move on from that one. 

So why the fuck are all of you here?  Kinda assumed after the freakout and killing that guy shit would be over for me.”

Twig was shameless and immediately dropped the momentary embarrassment they were trying to put on, and were quick to dive in on anything that I assume was their area of expertise. 

“You didn’t kill anyone, they might be very bored for a little while but she was pretty pleased about the whole thing. It’s actually incredible because her kidney problems were so well tracked, there’s a ton of points of comparison between the old and new. There are going to be tests to run for months! If you wanted to join the medical team they’d be glad to have you.”

Harris looked exhausted already, and was next to take the conversation over.

“You act as if it’s only Medical nipping at our heels… Everyones salivating over what we should do with him.  Some just want him to stay here and manage The Mills, others saw the footage of the encounter with the worm and say a hunter who is also capable of healing should be the priority…  And the rest have just been given more reasons to think he’s too dangerous to be let outside of containment.”

“Fuck off, are you guys actually calling this place ‘The Mills’?” 

“It’s already the name of a location, short, easy to write for reports, and doesn’t leak much information as to what this place actually is.  Unfortunately for you it was the obvious choice.”

“I’m going to hear and overhear people saying ‘are you talking about the person or the place’ every time this shit comes up till I fucking die.”

“It is the same thing, you are inherently as much a part of the land here as you are yourself. We can not deny that fact”

I hated that Sneckdraw actually said that out loud even more that everyone in the room seemed to agree with him…

“...Why is Sneckdraw even here, aren’t you supposed busy as fuck?”

Sneckdraw folded his arms and Twig responded for him.

“Your negative reaction was strongest towards the agent with the damaged kidney. Since his body is always in a horrible state, Sneckdraw was the obvious choice to help you get over that. Plus being trained by a legend is pretty flattering, normally he just stares and leaves if anyone asks him for that kinda thing.

If you were wondering, I'm here as a doctor, and to collect proper and more detailed logs for the rest of the science team to chew on. They might be able to see and hear everything but even our eyes can miss the finer bits and bobs.”

I expected Sneckdraw to look even a little insulted but he remained as stoic as ever.  The only one who didn’t make sense was Harris.  He was quick to pick up on where my thoughts were going and shrugged.

“You're here, and my job is to make sure you don’t get into, or make trouble.”

“So the hell starts all over again… Kinda hoped I’d get at least a day or two out of here.” 

“That was the plan, but you’re the one who ran away and hid, you’ve only got yourself to blame.”

Harris said that while again getting back to whatever it was he was reading. I had to get out of this one, it wouldn’t be training it would be Sneckdraw will fucking murdering me day in and out.

“But… I mean it took me three months to figure out what I did.  Sneckdraw doesn’t have time to screw around here, if the end times are coming. He’s got tons to do, go out and fight the good fight right…? Right??”

“That is precisely why I am here. We do not have the luxury of time, so our actions must be focused and precise.  My time is best spent ensuring this is done quickly, and effectively.”

I was stuck surrounded, maybe if I tried everything I could I might make it out of a window before the bands around my arms instantly kicked my ass.  There’s no way out… I was doomed to another dive into fucking hell.  Even worse it meant that Sneckdraw was going to get get fucking closer and he was already a goddamn nightmare for the senses from here alone.

“If it makes you feel better, I need to run tests for the next little while, and your arms need to heal before you and Sneck can get to actual work.  So you do have some time to recover!”

“That does not in fact make me feel better…”

“Darn, well  at least you’ll get more supplies and people to talk to this time. I can even go over your results with you, knowing why something is happening is a fantastic way to improve one's situation.”

“...Ugh.”

I’m fucked in every goddamn way, but they’re right that I need fucking help.  I can’t be losing it, just because people in the same neighborhood. It’s dangerous for everyone, and I don’t want to live like that… I want to be able to go home and relax, even if it's a lie and people are constantly watching…  I need that room for my brain to disconnect from all of this. 

Plus at the very least I’ve got time to mentally prepare.  It couldn’t be worse than everything I did here on my own… right?

[whorrorbellee]

Cherry Waves : two and a half

Ghostface! Danny Johnson x f!reader

Danny just had to save you. He just had to save your poor sad life. Knocking your sad frail body against fake plastic tiles. Shoving his fingers down your throat like a kid fishing for pennies. What was it you wrote in your diary? Your shiny white masked knight in a black shroud? Well how cute. Maybe it was time he kept a pet around.Just to play or course.18+ : eventual smut, themes of suicide (reader attempts), selfharm, sexual content, murder, themes of violence

ao3 prolouge masterlist

 11th August 1992

Roseville sure is something. Hot weather, Sunny skies. Rednecks. Everything I had wanted to avoid until now. Utah was great, born and raised. Left poor pa alone in the farmhouse at nineteen. Burnt to a crisp, the detective said. Goddamn alcoholic could never remember to see if the fire had gone dead before laying his head down on the pillow. Too damn bad. 

Danny Johnson would become Martin Lee the small town photographer somewhere in Arizona, and then I was Jack Mayfield, the slightly deplorable stoner writer in california. But in Pennsylvania Jed Olson was born. Kind hearted, protective. Red blooded american that wanted to uphold traditional family values. The type of guy you'd see a pretty blonde next to with six kids. Jed Olson was perfect and fucking irritating. He was the type of guy you would ask to set up shelves in your apartment. And god i fucking hated it, i still do. At first Jed was sweet, he could lend a hand. Enjoyed a cold one. Then where's your girlfriend Jed? Or maybe you're gay? I've got a daughter you could take out some time? When are you gonna settle down?

So in New York Jed Became colder. But the problem with New york. Half of my work got lost to gang violence and hate crimes, by the time i had figured out who Jed really was, Ghostface had been lost in a lineup of violent Men and petty thefts. So I moved smaller. Florida. Small baptist town wedge between Jacksonville and St. Augustine. You could hardly call it a town, in reality it was a housing estate with ten shops lined up, a couple of offices and three different churches, two within the town and the third connected to a road that led you straight out of roseville and into St.Augustine. It was perfect. Enough crazies to not get caught, drive close enough that someone out of town could come in and kill. And small enough to cause a frenzine. 

So while I was in New York, I took as many freelance photography jobs as I could. Let myself wake up with cheap instant coffee and gouged myself on instant ramen, until I had enough to buy a truck from a guy I knew and road-trip myself down to florida. 

And here I was, a man with very little to say in the matter. Even though I had a way with words. It took me less than five minutes to wedge myself into the crew at roseville gazette. Mike had welcomed me with open arms after I had fooled him with my American values. White picket, 2.5 kids and a cute dog laid out on a plate for him to stuff his face with. 

12 September 1992. 

One month has passed and I'm settled in at last. Work is fine. Writing about lost dogs and people who've found rings along the shore. Work is boring. It's not really my work, well it is.  But not the work I really want to do. In-fact , I'm craving it. I'm not sure how long I'm going to last. Sometimes I just want to take Adam's face and crush it between the wall and the door in the stairwell. And I won't! God I could never. Well I could.  Just not Adam. Adam is great. He's really perfect. He's so anxious and erratic everytime a crime is committed. When I start and I mean really start (not drive to Georgia and kill some rando) he's just going to snap. Linda is great. She keeps to herself and writes pieces about Best places to take your family this (insert month) or should your kids be having sugar?. 

There's a list in my head of who I want to take out. I haven't started watching just yet. Need to get adjusted to the town properly. I've been going on runs every night. Keep the stamina up and find out every slip road and street I can hide on. To the others I'm in a health kick. Waving past dog walkers and drunk teens. James told me he saw me running outside his house and that he'd wanted to get together for an early morning run the next sunday. And now there's a group of us at 6am. I drive to the closest diner after and order the biggest breakfast platter they have. 

Case no: 289 D75   Date: 5th July 1984

Reporting officer: DC Smith

Prepared by: PC Stein

Incident: Fire at the Johnson’s farm house on 4th July 1984 at 11pm . 

Event details: I was attending the 4th of July celebrations with my girlfriend. After the fireworks stopped at around 10:45. The family packed up and I asked if she wanted to head back to mine. We got to the farm house and the place was on fire. The house was practically black. We went to the nearest phone so I could call the emergency services. 

I thought my dad might have gone out. But when the fire was put out, they recovered his body. When I left him he was on the sofa passed out. He usually drinks whiskey. I knew it was him because of the white gold wedding ring around his neck.

30th september 1992

So Mike's niece has officially started her job. Which has ruined all plans of me developing my own photos in the office. I'm sure she couldn't help it. Nepo babied her way into a job. Fresh out college and straight into the office. Didn't even have to have a shitty barista job first. She's shy and slightly skittish. Pays no attention to where she's going. Always tripping over her own feet. The good thing is now we have software to edit photos after mike bought a one year package to see how far it gets us. 

She lives next to me. I passed her in the stairwell and walked behind her on the way home. 

She doesn't crack a smile when I do. Hardly ever reactive. Emotionless. Faked a smile on her first day before curling inward on her desk to jot something down. 

An enigma. Uncharmable .

16th October 1992

I didn't mean to do it. I was just a little rusty. I don't have time for mistakes. And I panicked. I dont panic. I never have. What little humanity I have left in me is reserved for good coffee and books. So I climbed into the wrong window that night. Mine was one over. A complete accident. Someone had swung a brick at my face and knocked me sideways. So I was a little puzzled when the bare apartment I lived in had a shitty two seater armchair and a pretty girl laid on it. And I had nearly turned away. But the pill bottle had glowed under the moonlight and headlights of late night drivers. When I had picked them up and the out of date pills rattled inside. I looked upon the pretty girl who I thought was asleep. Breathing erratic. Eyes rolling to the back of her head. Lying in a puddle of her own sweat. 

Well I just panicked. Picking up her body and rushing to the toilet. Scraped along plastic tiles. My hands held her up by her neck and I shoved two thick fingers down her throat until I had felt her gag. Barely held up by her knees. Watching her puke into the toilet. 

I should've left her there. Let the darkness swallow her up. Swelled in the bathroom. Let the police press a black body bag to her skin. Cracked tiled angel. Another lost to the hidden disease. And I gazed into her eyes, half shut. Her mouth opened as her head fell into the crook of my neck. Soft skin against the rough fabric of my shroud. I felt her heartbeat grow stronger. Poison exiting her body.

So instead I pressed her to the shower wall and washed her body, dressed her in the softest pyjamas I could find. Held her like my own. Held her like Piper wished I would. 

I won't make this mistake again.

[famewolf]

also I've been so offline recently ??? it's just been so goddamn busy! all good things but man between work and Events I was getting a little burnt out.

today's the first day in awhile where I don't really have anything I need to do.

we've got a really cool d&d session coming up tomorrow and I think the Fool and Styx are gonna do the dirty (congrats Percy and Jesse) and we almost tpk'd last session during a crazy cool dramatic elegant royal dinner party turned evil-villain moment, so now we have a lot to talk about. OH and the tourney is maybe happening ?? and we gotta investigate a faceless being the Fool keeps seeing in the city?

all I know is that Or'ius is kicking himself for not being rude and interrupting the royals to cast Purify Food and Drink.

Brian told me he was realizing how close I was to casting it and started moving the scene in real-time so that I didn't have a chance to sit there and ponder out of character for very long haha

[katyspersonal]

I've made more SOTE progress!!!! And I MEAN progress this time! Damn that was fun but I don't know whether to feel happy or sad because like I said, I really don't want this DLC to end ;-;

1) So, I went in the direction of the ruins place..... and then turned around and decided to get back to whatever dragons business I still had left bfhhhvhg And started with that cave which I recalled had a Wyrm (and also a HUGE bowl of spaghetti sauce gfhyhh)

2) After I killed it, I actually went back to Florissax! Apparently this is the name of Dragon Communion Priestess that is revealed indirectly, much like Boggart's! By that time, @val-of-the-north woke up and I allowed him to take my hand here because he warned me that her quest is terribly broken. And, God... -_- You have no idea how much, but perhaps I am getting ahead of myself....... 🤦‍♂️

3) I heard that I needed to kill two drakes above first, and my reaction was just 💀💀💀💀💀 Because I am AWFUL at fighting them! ......Or I USED to be, but perhaps I am getting ahead of myself hfuhfhybj [2]

4) Found this item in a shack nearby!

5) So, I figured that my usual "strategy" was not going to fly, and finally bothered to upgrade a weapon (big katana) with the built-in anti-dragon effect! You know, a weapon you OBTAIN in this very DLC! HOOOOOO BOY AT LAST!! TWO WEEKS LATER, SHE FINALLY GOT THE BRIGHTEST IDEA TO USE THE TOOLS SHE'S BEEN GIVEN 🙄🤦‍♂️

6) So I proceeded to go above, and met a singular drake, so I decided to actually fight it normally! No pussy long ass distance dumbass Int user combat! Close combat and learning the dodging patterns only!!

And it actually worked. I actually finally adapted to the dragons' moveset and when to roll in and not away, and how to stay around their feet right and how to run from the fire! After two goddamn years of struggling with dragons (excluding SOMEHOW first-trying Borealis, the frozen dragon) I adapted 🙄🙄🙄🤦‍♂️

7) Cool lore:

These grow from the burnt dead bodies across the peak and don't respawn

8) So yeah, in the next place, there were two drakes fighting each other (sure guys whatever), and I figured the boss one can first kill the weaker one so I was just standing and watching them like 🍿 until one left!

9) After defeating THIS one, I felt so much power that I decided to side-track and go back to kill two other dragons (the undead ones in Scadu Altus and Cerulean Coast). I didn't need it, I just felt SUCH a strong urge to do that, you have no idea!!!

9.1) Well, first I actually talked with Igon, because after both of the fighting drakes were killed he laughs and praises us for being a great drake warrior xD He gave me an item (his cut finger) that opens a change to summon him against Bayle, which he really asked to do!

9.2) Okay ANOTHER thing I did was to finally jOiN cOvEnAnT to talk with Florissax that Val asked me to do, because according to him I needed to talk to her at night, which was only possible after defeating the two drakes + I could now ask about Igon

9.3) She also revealed the roots of Dragon fascism; turns out that Ancient Dragons are after Drakes not for some prejudice reason against their species being "diluted", but because Bayle was the one to wound Placidusax and HE is the drake. Argh, can ONE person in this DLC have motivation to be an asshole that is NOT revenge!

10) So I was running around for a bit longer, visited another mine not far away from previous dragon (saw the big rock dude petting the lava slime there), and finally returned to Florissax!

....so, first, she was not appearing during the night. I tried to rest at the grace, still nothing. I tried again, nothing. I asked Val what was going on, and he wasn't sure and went looking on forums, meanwhile I tried to restart from another grace and travel to her location before the night was over! She still did not appear. 🙄

At this rate I started to wonder whether I broke the quest by not talking to her earlier before getting to Igon, but just for the heck of it rested at grace again, but now I skipped time to the night even though it already WAS the night! And then she FINALLY appeared near the Altar at night!! ...only, no new options or dialogue appeared!

According to Val again, I needed to catch her praying to herself so I could give her an item I already had. I reloaded the area, no praying. Reloaded it again, still nothing. Reloaded it again, and she straight up disappeared 🤦‍♂️ I thought that was it, and quest got broken, but just in case I quit the game and started it again.... AND IT WORKED.

....I am WITHOUT WORDS. According to Val, Jarburg quest used to be the same on launch.

11) But yes, she was praying to Placidussax, saying she surrendered her sleep so he could rest, and we got the choice to use Thiollier potion, that did mention it'd merely make dragons sleep for a bit. Damn... to think of it, Elden Ring quests give enough hints.

12) Val reassured me that was it and I just needed to skip a few days in game, so I went to murder remaining drakes! Fast enough, I killed them! Both of them!! However, the one in Scadu Altus was fighting with a lot of Black Knights and it was just entertaining to watch for like 15 minutes until they all finally died 🍿🍿🍿

13) me before: NOOOOO WHY DRAGONS ARE SO HARD, Val I do NOT want to hear your yapping about how they're not """that""" bad, I don't care and I will just run past them ;-;

me now: NOOOOOO WHY ALL DRAGONS IN THE GAME ARE OVER ALREADY, they needed to put more of them in to kill!!!! ;-;

14) I talked to her, where she was very crashed by having fallen asleep:

"I have broken my pledge. I succumbed to the deep slumber... that was meant for my Lord. Twas a craven act! Of a foul and lowly beast! Forgive me, good warrior. My Lord will no longer look upon me. I have fallen from grace. An old dragon no longer. Go on, leave me be."

15) So, I did gfjgffhg And proceeded to go above! Honestly, when I was looking at this area in the world's map, I was SURE it wasn't explorable...

Also, my complaining about no longer having dragons to kill was met!! There was another dragon, an ancient one now! It gave me a bit of a challenge for several times, but I remembered that rocky things are all weak to magic damage so that + defending myself from bolt more helped x)

15.1) This dragon is named Senessax... Sigh... Remember my theory about Placidussax? Zullie (the youtuber) datamined that he had 2 male heads and 3 female heads (1 male and 2 female missing), so I speculated that those heads turned into Granssax, Fortissax and Lanseax? Now that there are more dragons named with -sax, I feel like this theory aged like milk ;-; On the bright note, I recall King's Field (?) had a pair of white and black dragons siblings, so since Fortissax is black and Lanseax is pale and they're siblings, maybe it is return of the trope?

15.2) Fingers in the Ruins are rocky creatures with gold (AKTYALY amber) sewn into them, and ancient dragons are rocky creatures with amber sewn into them... I guess the ancient life is just like this?

16) I finally met Bayle!!!!!! And I actually laughed when Igon INSTANTLY started screaming curses at him upon being summoned XDDD The most character ever! Also cute that he said Bayle was going to face "the true drake warrior and him" gfhhbv He doesn't acknowledge himself as one anymore because of his fear, but acknowledges US!

Took me a few tries, but like I said, I finally adapted! 😎

17) Returned to his corpse:

(He also dropped his bell bearing, need to check the item it gets later just in case)

18) I talked with Florissax about the victory! She gave dialogue: "Ahh, finally, our wish is granted. Our dream, long yearned for, has come to pass. My Lord was blessed with great insight. He saw in the insatiable hunger and fierce spirit of man, the very things that would fell Bayle, our wretched nemesis. Warrior, you soar with the strength of dragons. Whereas I am fallen. Leave me be."

And gave this item! Sooooo that's how her name got revealed!

19) There was an option to tell her that we put her into sleep ;-; I was a bit nervous to pick it but felt like I should jtythhhgb

"Never, in all my years... How could you inflict such cruelty? No, that is not for me to judge. Whatever your hand in it, it was I who succumbed to the sweetness of slumber. The fault lies with me. I may be fallen, but I need not surrender my honour."

Arghhh shut up girl, you talk like an abuse victim :/ Not even a slap in the face?

20) So, she continued:

"On the second thought (? not certain, I forgot to write the starter), I believe you do owe me something for the transgression. On a mere whim, you've stripped me of my one and only Lord. As such, I require another - you. One day, may you become a dragon whole, a Lord of your own making. Lead me, and I will follow. My good Lord."

.....well, "now you have to adopt me" is sure one way to solve the conflict, I guess hfhgfnh

21) This way, I got her spirit ash:

So yeah, I ASSUME that her set is available, and I am not 100% sure whether her head piece is just the mask or simply how her head is supposed to look! She does have a face data, but she would need to since her model uses NPC mechanics, so it could be ignored?

I just haven't seen the description yet, but ER logic does let us adopt to appearances of others (like getting hair of other characters for example), and her body appears to be very black and shriveled, with sharp inhuman features! I sure hope that her look IS how ancient dragons in human form are supposed to look! It would offer an insight on how Lansseax used to look when communicating with the Dragon Cult!

(Besides I am still biased since I wss cursed with boring portrayals of Godwyn x Fortissax where the latter was a basic bitch yaoi bishounen without even the slightest monstrous features 😔 Even horny Lanseax waifu artistd had the basic dignity to at least add some horns and scales hfhyghj Okay that was my monthly voucher of being a petty bitch used, until the next time when my mask of respecting all type of creations cracks hdhhjgfhhnhh)

______________

Conclusion: character development if I've had one lol

[fool-from-lamanchaland]

im bored outta my gourd so here's an extensive ranking of the sinners based on who i like most [with reasonings, serious and/or silly]

DISCLAIMER !!!! I like all of the sinners besides the one at the very bottom, this isn't a tierlist based on who i think are the best sinners but rather on who i Personally enjoy, don't take this to heart i know each of them has Their Reason™ to be your fave ok? ok thank

starting from the bottom,

12. meursault

meur fans im so sorry. i really am. i have tried so so hard to see his appeal. i just do not feel anything about him. i do not think about him unless I'm thinking about the sinners as a collective.

perhaps in his canto I'll see the meursault charm but for now i genuinely don't care about that man

11. faust

the faust hivemind................ she's entertaining

my favourite faust moments are her being prideful about her intelligence. her dropping the 'faust' as a first person pronoun from the sheer hater energy she had while one upping hohenheim in the lcb checkup was Absolutely amazing i love to see her being justifiably egotistical

besides that i don't have much to say on her i fear ...

although if she were ever to get an angela ID I'd actually start playing limbus. the power she holds. good lird

funnily enough faust is my girlfriend's favourite sinner [mostly via appearances], she's divorcing me for this take /j

10. sinclair

not sure how i feel about sinclair ill be fr

he and faust are about the exact same level of enjoyment, but due to my love of his dynamic with don and ryoshu he ended up a lil higher

The twink is splendid. i need to see him be violent more. yes i love the new middle id let him kick ass

i feel like out of all of the sinners with cantos out, his compelled me the least so unfortunately i just don't have much to say on the guy

9. outis

I've had personal beef with outis for the comments she made towards don/sancho during her canto sorry i need her gone /silly

in all seriousness this war vet perplexes me ....... two faced bootlicker woman that i need to analyse under a microscope/pos

i don't condone All of her wrongs [still fighting her for the don slander] but i do condone a lot of them. love seeing her be cunning and scheming lets go evil women !!!!

even if she's quite low on the tierlist pls understand i Want to like her more i need to know her goddamn problem. where is penelope. what does the broken watch symbolise. what about the odyssey. how will it end up being translated into the pjmverse. What Horrors Has She Been Through i gotta know man!!!!!

8. hong lu

placed him around the middle of the tierlist since i know he's just about to get some crazy lore drops in his canto, just in case so i can easily move him upwards/downwards

as of writing this post though, he's quite splendid and silly .......his 'uwah~!'s are Everything to me

aesthetically he's my favourite masc sinner i love gorgeous boys with long luscious hair and whimsy

i can tell his ass is hiding every damn bit of his personality and emotions to be as cordial and unsuspecting and inoffensive as possible, maybe a leftover tactic from the hell he lived through back at the jia household? i doubt his original name is even Hong lu

hong lu's absolutely nonexistent sense of self preservation has me incredibly concerned. how was he unphazed about having his time taken in TKT . this man. SHAKING HIM

7. Heathcliff

ayyy the H names back to back

looks around nervously. would i be burnt at the stake for saying through patches of violet is my least favourite canto bossfight song /SILLY

like sinclair, i just. dont have too much to say on him? doesn't mean i dislike him, he's a really interesting character, i know theyve got sm more to do with heathcliff's story and im pumped for that, especially since the way his canto ended wasn't all that great for me

his position here is very shaky tbh . i feel he'll get moved sooner or later

in all seriousness though, despite the initial impression he had he's one of the most loyal and pretty compassionate guys in that damn bus. id trust him with my drink And all my belongings at a bar id trust him with my Life. of this tierlist were for sinners I'd befriend he'd be num.1

6.ryoshu

The funniest sinner in the bus imo

as another enjoyer of the arts [although not. in the bloody way] she's so cool ... id offer myself up to become an artpiece of hers huh who said that

she doesn't stand for bullshit and is awesome as hell and also i need to know what her ties to the fingers are PLEASE

wish i had more to say but she's just super entertaining to me, so she's fairly up here

5. Rodion

she's so flawed and hasn't progressed much from her canto and i love her for it

"I'm alright" love no you are not. you've had the least character development from every other character with a canto you've still got to go through the fucking trenches you still have so much to work through

her pass on track is my second favourite behind don's... it sounds so much more off and Wrong and sad because she hasn't passed on!! your sins are still trailing behind you girl!!!! just look at how things played out in the TKT intervallo!!!!!!

4. yi sang

project moon devs i am out for your [metaphorical] blood. you guys did not need to make this man so relatable. why . sotp it pls

seeing him slowly become happier and find meaning to living despite his past mistakes makes me so emotional actually

he had the most impactful canto for me ........ there is hope ..... even when you've made mistakes and made things worse for yourself .... there'll always be hope for the future ........ dwelling on what could've been will just make you more miserable ............ something i needed to hear so badly

ok that's enough introspection . he makes me smile thats all

3. Gregor

my babygirl. ok moving on, /j

greg is generally not having the greatest time on the bus and feels like he has to endure being made the butt of the joke because it's what he deserves and slowly bur surely he's become more distant from the other sinners and is possibly metamorphosing more based on the LCB checkup [WHERE THEY LITERALLY MADE HIM THE OUTCAST BY NOT ADDING HIM TO THE LINEUP. EVIL] oghghhhh i need to see him break . let it be rodion who makes him snap PLEAASE.

also pablo 👍

2. Ishmael

fish lesbian

design wise she's my favourite fem sinner .. yes it's because of the orange . i am an extremely biased person

ohhgheghhhh her fury against ahab having taken away the person she loved most all in the name of some fuckass whale ............... slowly making her resemble the captain more and more as she spirals more and more into a crazed path of revenge ................... her adoration for queequeg showing in her longer hair when she never liked it just because queequeg did ........ and seeing her in pequod town being the only thing to calm her down................................ because queequeg was her reason to live before killing ahab was :[[[[[[[[

and her finally taking agency in her own life beyond her grudges by not killing ahab and finding a new purpose to go on, to look forward to what tomorrow awaits :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

im in fuckign shambles ishmael I'll always defend you girl

1. Don Quixote

character so good she overrode my life-long internal response of hearing 'don quixote' from "do do do donki donki ho–teeeeeee" to "BEEEACH VOLLEYBURR" /j

words alone cannot express what don quixote means to me.

every time i see her face i smile . every whimsical hijink of hers is instant serotonin . every don is perfect and beautiful and lovely . live laugh love don . her mere existence is a blessing actually one of the fictional characters of all time

her exaggerated pseudo-archaic form of speaking. the overly expressive and Intense emotions audible in her voice. compared to sancho's deep and methodical voice. her extreme sense of justice. the joy she brings to the bus which really needs it. her crazed adoration for fixers and fixer associations. her current moments where the persona slips and sancho shines through in mild embarrassment.

her being absolutely fuckign shattered after regaining her memories ......... feeling like she decieved the sinners and dante and simply cannot ever be with them due to how different their experiences are ........... until slowly but surely she realises that she Wants to be with them and they want to be with her, that they're her Family and she still wants to keep the dream she and her father had even when he had already long since given up ................. taking back the name and role of 'don Quixote, the fixer' after having initially reverted to sancho so the dream may live on ........... THE SINNERS ARE HER FAMILY :[[[[[[

PRE-MEMORY LOSS SANCHO ALSO MAKES ME INSANE BTW. she had nothing to live for and was content with dying in that fire until dadqui showed up, cursing her with a horrible disease that ended up actually being better than the meaningless life she had prior, content with just being with her father and her family and nothing else until bari showed up and sparked the smallest interest in fixers in her and a wildfire of interest for dad quixote and even if she found his next antics juvenile and foolish she still went along because sancho loved her father and even if she'd never admit it she was happy too all while she and dad quixote were blind to the suffering of dulcinea and her 3rd kindreds and all the other bloodfiends all for their father's dream until the FALL OF LAMANCHALAND WHERE SHE WAS FORCED TO LEAVE DAD QUIXOTE BEHIND AS THE SOLE MARTYR FOR THE BLOODFIENDS'S FESTERING ANGER OVER HAVING BEEN STARVED IN HIS LAMANCHALAND ENDEAVOR AND THE GRIEF BREAKING HER SO BADLY SHE DECIDES TO ERASE ALL OF HER MEMORIES FOREVER NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE PROCESS SCARES HER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUAUGHGHHHHHHHH

AND THEN AFTER EVERY BLOODFIEND OF HER BLOODLINE BUT HER DIES SHE'S CURSED WITH THE COLLECTIVE THIRST FOR BLOOD OF COUNTLESS GENERATIONS...... FORCING THE TITLE OF 'MOTHER' ON HER ......... WHEN SHE'D NEVER WANTED TO HAVE ANY DESCENDANTS EVEN BEFORE LAMANCHALAND ................... SLAMS MY HEAD AGAINST THE FUCKIGN WALL. IM SICK. IM ILL. . GOD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME ,

HEROOOO ON A PLASTIC HORSE FIGHTING LIKE IT'S REAL WITH A CARBOARD SWOOOOOORD /lyr

don quixote . ogh.

ok thats all thank you

scatters