#I'm very nice and don't bite
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Feeling sad, who has Hatchworth/The Jon headcanons?
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if anybody wants to just chat about arcane with me i would be interested in that...
#i need more arcane friends#specifically those that are as obsessed as me#arcane#please i don't bite#i'm very nice i promise
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@hhoneypop. — “ i had to return to darkness, i couldn't stand the sun. . . ” (franz kafka.)
#since people have been asking i do take requests !#just shoot me a dm & we can talk (i don't bite i promise i'm very nice <33)#aesthetic#cybird#ikeseries#ikemen#ikemen series#ikeseries moodboard#cybird ikemen#cybird moodboard#cybird games#otome aesthetic#arthur ikemen vampire#ikemen arthur#arthur conan doyle#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp arthur#ikemen vampire arthur#ikemen games#ikemen vampire arthur conan doyle#brown#brown aesthetic#brown moodboard#arthur conan doyle moodboard#ikevamp moodboard
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Eww just saw a terf/radfem in my notifs.
Just so we're clear, I don't tolerate y'all and will block on site! The second I catch even a whiff of terfy shit, let alone bold faced terfy shit, I am pretending you do not exist- there will be no debate because that lends credibility to your bullshit ideology. I am not arguing with a brick wall; I am not arguing with someone whose ideology is built on hate, misogyny, and the pain Olympics.
Hope this helps!
#couldn't find the post they tagged me in or whatever it was#but I was told it was very “not like other girls” of me#to say that the difference between men and women isn't as big as people act#and that feminism has slid backwards from “girl power!” to “I'm just a girl uwu” ass energy#I don't know who needs to hear this but you are not a gender crit or a radfem or a terf#you are 20 and need to interact with people who go outside and carry even an ounce of love in their hearts#the radfem/gender crit/terf bullshit (cause let's be real it's all the same shit in new paint) is built on misogyny#and tries to instill fear in you#they want you to be afraid and think they're the only sources you can trust because it fuels their agenda#I am begging y'all to log off and interact with trans people/women not involved in radfem shit#anyway go tell a trans person you love them#I was having a nice night we were all having a nice night#“women are just as capable as men” lol what are you a pick me? -radfems#can y'all be serious for like five seconds#gods above#rant I guess?#yeah sure this became a rant#lemme figure out how to pin posts real quick this needs to be at the tippy top#as if I wasn't already clear enough on where I stand#gods grant me some damn patience because if y'all give me strength I will start biting
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I somehow didn't catch this during all the chaos from that day but I'm rewatching Forever's conversation with Vegetta, and Vegetta told him: "You're a good person, and a good person knows what their mistakes are. You're a good boy. It's not going to happen again."
#i talk#qsmp talk#and just#I dunno man. that really got to me for some reason#I'm not someone who cries easily at all but this is the second time something related to the server has made me cry#and I don't mean tearing up I mean BIG time crying#which is even rarer for me#It was so sudden too I was literally halfway through a bite of food and I started instantly crying when hearing that#and now my food is COLD agh#Bobby's thing made me cry too but I get because there was so much buildup to it with everyone trying to save him and it was very emotional#but with this I literally just opened up stream and then 10 seconds later Vegetta says this and BAM#[skull emoji]#this post might self-destruct later idk I don't like getting too personal about stuff#I've also been doing so many text posts lately I never used to do that#but this series has made me feel a little bit better lately. or at least my passion for it has made me want to talk and meta like I used to#which is nice#anyways. ya boy's having a rough one I guess
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in more exciting news i finished outlining the diner so i can finally get a move on with draft zero :^)
#personal#it's gonna be 19 chapters long and with the current word count per chapter it's probably gonna end up being somewhere between 80-100k#if not more. considering this is draft zero and doesn't include all the full dialogue and such yet#i'm personally very excited for it because this is the first novel i'm working on since my brain decided to kill itself entirely#so it's nice to like. get some of that creativity flowing again. even though it's on like 10% brain power#still no clue how teenage me managed to write 80k words in a month for nanowrimo x#anyway hi how's everyone doing. send me asks about writing and stuff. talk to me. tell me what you're working on and everything#anon's fine too. first time for everything. i don't bite unless you're into that then i'll do it
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so. wait of the world update. how we feeling about that.
#ultrakill#peridots-nonsense#ok SO ON THE ONE HAND: I'M VERY EXCITED FOR THIS#I WANT TO GO EXPLORE EVERYTHING SO BAD...#on the OTHER HAND#when i started playing ultrakill it was on my sibling's computer and i finally got it on my own a couple days ago!!! i'm currently at the#corpse of king minos cause i've been p-ranking all the levels!!!! so far i've got all the prelude levels besides 0-4 (style meter HATES ME)#and the first two limbo levels. i don't think i ever p-ranked any on my first playthrough! anyway i felt like bragging about that lol#(i only have eight hours in and idk. i play a lot of baseline-tough games but i've never really been one to actually get any challenging#achievements besides maybe like. dream no more? and i think most hk players have that anyway. so it feels nice)#BUT THIS MEANS I CAN'T DO 5-S OR P-2 YET... biting and hissing#glad my two (2) ultrakill mutuals get to play those though i am looking forward to more liveblogging about it#OH I GET TO PLAY THE CREDITS LEVEL THOUGH. gonna try not to do that anyway (it's the principle of the thing!!)
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Went to the dentist today to get a temporary crown on my poor root canal tooth and they had a new nurse
And I explained to her I just had my wisdom teeth out and was still healing so please be careful and she didn't even bat an eye she like completely fucking ignored me, GRABBED my cheek as hard as she could and shoved the numbing shot DIRECTLY into one of my incision sites. And then spent five minutes like SQUEEZING my STILL VERY TENDER FROM SURGERY CHEEK FLESH as hard as she possibly could. It's been 12 hours and my cheek is literally still throbbing. If she ever gets near me again I'm fucking biting her I don't care. The entire time my bf was like she just had SURGERY right there PLEASE be careful and she was just not listening. NO PART OF THAT WAS NECESSARY. like yes numbing shots are uncomfortable because they have to go in uncomfortable spots but a) she was in the wrong spot anyway because it DIDN'T numb the area it needed to and b) under no circumstance was the manhandling warranted! nobody else in the office has ever had to grab my face like that and I've had that tooth numbed before!
#she was a normal nurse before a dental nurse so i suspect shes one of THOSE nurses#And was also just generally unpleasant#Luke she wasn't mean but she wasn't nice either#I'm not sure what I'll do if she does my numbing next time it's a small office and the doc has been very good to me#So I don't want to be rude#But telling them ''if she touches me again I'm fucking biting her'' is probably better than actually biting her#God my face hurts so bad#She reopened one of my incision sites because she was like ripping my cheek away from my face
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discovering some odd things about my brain today
#it's nothing actually bad dw just. interesting#it's also kind of ... something people really don't see as normal (which is understandable) but it comes with a lot of shame ig#hrrm fascinating [takes notes down about my own mental health] JEBAJBSJSNSKBD.#i guess i have??? a new form of therapy to try now maybe#i have absolutely no idea how i would go about that but it's a nice thought#ik i'm being very vague. this is the part where i reveal that i bite bite murder kill /j
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I think sometimes about that time the subject came up of what my grandparents would leave my parents when they died (no grandparents were in the room).
And while there was some speculation over my father's parents, my mother's mother had lived on a widow's pension for most of her life. So none of her seven children were expecting a fat inheritance.
And my dad was like, "Ah, yes! The Gaertner family fortune, split seven ways, should be enough to take us allllll to Eat'n Park!"
This got some laughter and heckling from the rest of the family, my mother included (Dad knows his audience). He went on to say, "And not just one course either! We can get whatever we want!"
"So we can get dessert?" my mom asked.
"Oh yeah! We can get dessert, we can get appetizers, a box of cookies to go....."
And then years later, when my grandmother died at age 94, her will allocated most of her savings for a funeral and a small wake. The rest was to be split equally among her kids.
It takes a while for these kinds of financial things to process, so my mother received her inheritance a few months later.
Each sibling received $200.
Which, as it happens, was exactly enough to take my immediate family and a couple of cousins out to a really nice dinner at Eat'n Park.
#original#death cw#grandparent death#I don't know if it's wholesome content but I don't think it's cynical content. it's sweet to me anyway.#absolutely no one begrudged this woman for raising seven kids alone on a widows pension and then not having savings#I'm pretty sure my memory on this is fairly accurate. I know that my dad's first line is verbatim. I even remember his intonation#one of those sound bites that just stuck in my head.#maybe because I was always fascinated with my dad's ability to tell jokes just up to the line of what's acceptable without crossing it#my little autistic brain was busy filing away data so I could be funnier.#not a lot of people could get my mom to laugh about a joke involving her mother's death. I sure as hell wouldn't have tried#my grandmother was a very very nice lady#tiny little Irish woman whose mother moved to America just a few years before she was born#I am 5'4 but she thought I was so fucking tall XD#Eat n' Park is a popular diner chain in PA; like Denny's but good. I went here at 5am after every cast party in high school#and I did order whatever I wanted at that meal.#btw unless they've changed it the best thing on the menu is the Oreo hot fudge sundae
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i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.
Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better
So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).
[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]
You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.
You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three
Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)
Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.
Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)
While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.
...
Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.
...
The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor
You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.
It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable
here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea
it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks
Happy Cooking!
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Being a waitress/bottle girl at a club that caters to monsters.
While serving a table of orcs their drinks you hear whistling from behind you and turn towards the table of werewolves calling you over,
"C'mere Doll, why don't you spend some time with us? It'd be better than looking at those ugly green faces."
The rest of the table barks out laughter and all you do is look back at the table of orcs to gauge their reactions, just incase you have to call the bouncer to stop another brawl.
"Aw yeah? Cus your slobbering snout's much more attractive, ain't it?"
One orc yells and the others hurl their chosen insults across the table as well. The werewolves grumble and snarl insults back and you just stand in the middle of this, trying to think of an escape.
"Maybe she ain't at your table for a reason!"
One of the orcs claims boldly and all the other orcs voice their agreement while the wolves clearly disagree.
"Why don't we let the lady decide." A wolf with greying fur suggests with a smirk and both tables seem to agree on this being just a wonderful idea.
"Well love? Who's better then? Us or the mutts?"
"Aye! The real question is who can treat her better, isn't that right, Doll?"
The attention of the two tables are now on you, waiting for your answer with baited breaths and half hard cocks probably.
"....I prefer minotaurs."
This deadpan response takes a few seconds to sink in before a chorus of disagreements and further arguing commences, but you're already making your way back towards the bar, you're sure they don't mind watching your tiny skirt bounce as you walk away.
That answer wasn't random, it's actually been the only thing you could think of all day. Your Minotaur coworkers cock reaching deep into your stomach while he pounds you into next week. That might be why so many customers have been extra forward with you today, maybe they can smell the need on you.
You finally make it back to the bar, getting ready to end your shift and finally get some relief.
"You causing trouble?"
You whip around to meet just the monster you were so desperate to see. He stands at the edge of the bar in his bouncer uniform, his sleeves hug his biceps very nicely and you nearly purr imagining what that arm would feel like around your throat, while he pounds you from behind. He gazes down at you with a knowing look.
"Me? Oh, I would never."
You look up at him and play with the collar of your shirt, successfully drawing his eyes to the generous amount of cleavage your uniform provides.
He huffs in amusement.
"They don't seem to think so."
He tilts his head and massive horns towards the two tables you just left where the occupants are all peering over one another to see the interaction between you and the bovine beast in front of you.
You scoff, take his arm and turn him around so that he's only focusing on you.
"I'm off. You're off in 15...maybe you could come by my place again....or something?"
You nervously bite your lip and he doesn't know why you're getting nervous.
You weren't nervous when you sent him that video of your stuffed cunt clenching around the Minotaur themed dildo you've had since before you were seeing eachother. You definitely weren't nervous when you sent him another video 6 hours ago of you stuffing said dildo into your perfect pussy in the employee bathrooms before slipping your tiny panties on over it, keeping the silicone deep in your cunt.
He pulls out his keys and leans down closer to you,
"Be ready when I get to the car."
You nearly squeal in excitement as you grab the keys and reach up to kiss his cheek. As you skip out the door to his car he looks back at the two tables just to revel a little in the disappointed grumbles and huffs emitting from the two groups as they go back to their drinks.
𓄀
#monster fucker#monster x human#monster x reader#monster lover#monster fucking#exophelia#monster boyfriend#terato#minotaur x reader#minotaur x human#Minotaur#fem!reader
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In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:
Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice
Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-
Bucky: *turns around and leaves*
-
Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?
Peter: Oh my god do I ever
Tony & Steve: NO.
-
Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals
Natasha, staring blankly:
Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?
Natasha:
Peter: Spinneret associates?
Natasha: Leave.
Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am
-
During a meal:
Bucky: *glaring at Sam*
Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog
Steve: Bucky, leave it
Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*
-
Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?
Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here
Bruce: I have... so many degrees
Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?
Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?
Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.
-
Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly
Wanda: Okay thanks dad
Steve:
Wanda:
Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad
Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time
Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues
-
Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth
Steve:
Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak
Steve:
Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite
Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind
-
Natasha: Hey bird brain!
Clint and Sam both turn:
Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head
Clint and Sam: *start arguing*
Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult
Steve: She has that effect on people
Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(
-
Peter: Hey old man
Bucky:
Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME
Sam: *cackling in the background*
Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*
Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!
Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks
-
Bucky: I need your... help
Tony: Sure, what's up?
Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*
Bucky: Arm.
Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?
Bucky:
Tony: Say please
Bucky: Nope can't do it-
Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?
*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*
Bucky: Please fix my arm
Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy
-
Read Part 2 and Part 3
#marvel mcu#peter parker#irondad and spiderson#marvel incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel#incorrect marvel quotes#tony stark#steve rogers#bucky barnes#natasha romanoff#sam wilson#wanda maximoff#bruce banner#spider man#the avengers#avengers#mcu#captain america civil war#clint barton#stony#stevetony
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My Boss Won't Be Happy About This - A.H
a/n: back to bimbo brain rot!!!! inspired by the first season that one episode (you know the one) where hotch is all macho man with elle in jamaica
masterlist
₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
summary: you’re wrongfully arrested and hotch is not happy about it
warnings: creepy officer, inaccuracies of how law enforcement works, hotch being sexy
wc: 1.3k
"Listen I'm not the type of girl to tell someone how to do their job, but I just don't think you're doing it right."
You were speaking to an empty room, or at least, you were speaking to the mirror in front of you. It's the kind of mirror you had seen in countless interrogation scenes, the kind you usually image Hotch standing behind. You let your gaze linger, wondering if eyes are studying you from the other side, listening to your monologue.
"Well, that, and I also just don't think it's very nice." Your brand spanking new heels were tapping against the dirty floor.
You weren't happy about that. You weren't happy about any of this. Your feet ache, but the fear of the germs lurking on the floor paralyzes any thoughts of relief by removing your shoes.
"And hey, shouldn't I get a phone call? That's a rule, I think," you mumble, lips turning downward in an unusual frown. It seems like the right time for it. "My boss is not going to take this well. I mean, he's got this look, you know? The kind that makes you want to apologize for things you didn't even do."
You conjured up his daunting expression and released a jittery laugh, all while striving to disregard the biting cold blasting from the AC vent, which seemed determine to freeze you into place.
You were seriously out of your element, not just in surroundings but in dress--so form-fitting it left very little to the imagination. It seemed to be a good idea for a date. That was before you realized said date would be a complete disaster. Now, it felt like a trap. It had been a spectacle for a man unworthy of the effort, and as you sat in this rigid chair, you found yourself tugging at the hem every other moment, a futile attempt to preserve some semblance of modesty.
"So, when he hears about this little error... Well, let's just say I wouldn't want to be in your shoes." Six hours had passed in this dreary space, and you could feel your sanity fraying at the edges. You muttered, half to yourself, "Not that they're as cute as mine, but you get the point."
The door hinge's creak made you sit bolt upright, a silent supplication for Hotch's rescue echoing through your mind. But today, it seemed, the gods were indifferent. The officer who had arrested you stepped in.
"Having fun talking to yourself?"
You flashed your sweetest smile. "Oh, tons! But I'd have much more fun if you'd uncuff me."
He said nothing, folding his arms over his chest as he dragged his gaze up and down your body in a way that made your skin prickle in discomfort. You attempted to dispel the creeping dread, but it stubbornly lingered.
You did what you could to cover up, despite the awkward angle of your arms. "Listen, this is all just a big mistake. I work for the FBI," you insisted, though it was clear the officer's attention was fixated on your tits rather than your words. "Well, I mean, I'm an assistant for the unit chief of the BAU unit. You've heard of Aaron Hotchner, haven't you?"
The officer's mouth closed without a word, as the door was thrust open yet again, and this time, your heart leapt in recognition. Your knight in shining armor with a lethal expression.
His eyes instantly zeroed in on the officer with a look that could curdle blood, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that you weren't the object of his anger. He approached you wordlessly, his every motion precise and determined.
He carefully shed his jacket, a gesture he seldom made, and draped it across your shoulders. The fleeting caress of his hand against your skin was enough to make you lean into his touch. You let out a breath that you had been unconsciously holding back.
You watched as Hotch turned, his voice a low, steady force, his words carefully chosen and tinged with an unsettling peace. "Officer," he began, the title spoken almost as warning. "I believe there has been a grave misunderstanding. This woman is not only an esteemed member of the FBI, but she is also under my direct supervision."
He stepped closer, encroaching on the officer's personal space. You watched, almost in slow motion, as the officer's expression morphed into one of sheer terror, his earlier confidence dissolving like sugar in hot tea.
"Six hours," he continued, his voice never rising yet somehow it took up all the space in the confined room. "Six hours of unwarranted detention, without due process. I expect her immediate release. And make no mistake, this lapse in judgment will have its ramifications."
The officer was mute, his fingers clumsily unlocking the handcuffs, his movements hurried, his hands trembling. A twinge of pity flickered within you, but it was quickly overshadowed by the memory of considering the table as a makeshift blanket.
The moment the metal clicked open; you wasted no time. You flung your arms around Hotch, the pent relief and biting chill of the past few hours pouring out of you. You were desperate for warmth, specifically his warmth.
He stiffened, caught off guard by your actions. You feel the anger radiating through him, practically pulsing through his skin. As you clung to him, you felt the draft on your legs as your dress slid up, and without missing a beat Hotch's hand discreetly adjusted the fabric, all while keeping his eyes locked on the officer, a silent warning in his gaze.
Once he was certain you were decently covered, he allowed himself to draw him into his arms. One arm secured around your waist, the other weaving through your hair. You were cold. It renewed another tide of rage through his bloodstream.
With the officer's departure, the room's oppressive atmosphere lightened a touch, leaving you still latched onto your boss.
"Oh, sir, you wouldn't believe it," you started, his hands tracing up your spine and sparking a trail of goosebumps that had nothing to do with the chill. "They kept asking me about a heist, as if I'd know anything about that! And then they show me this picture, and I mean, sure, she had my hair, but that's about it."
You rambled on, and he let you, the absurdity of the situation pouring out in a stream of consciousness. Hotch's hold on you tightened. You could sense the coiled tension in him, a tempest of anger held a bay.
"And the room, it was so cold! I mean, I'm sure you can tell. My teeth were chattering, and all I could think of was how I'd rather be filing your paperwork or listening to Reid's factoids about the quantum mechanics of coffee beans."
You felt Hotch's breath on your hair as he let out a sigh.
"I'm just glad you're here now," you whispered, finally allowing yourself to relax in his embrace.
Hotch gave a curt nod, his jaw set. He was itching to confront the officer, to unleash a tirade not meant for your ears. But he was well aware of how much you needed him right now, and that trumped everything in his book.
Hotch took a moment to compose himself before speaking. "This isn't just incompetence; it's negligence. I will have this place reevaluated for its standards, or lack thereof."
You took a step back, hands still resting on his arms, and he maintained his grip on your waist. "I bet this is the last time you'll let me go on a date without a full background check on the guy, huh, sir?"
Hotch's hold on your waist firmed just a fraction. "Maybe it's the last time I let you go on a date, period."
He was only half-joking.
"Not even with you?" You tilted your head to meet his gaze, drawing his jacket closer around you.
Hotch just simply gives you that look, the one that says a thousand words without a sound. He's telling you to tread lightly.
"Alright, I'll be good," you giggle, the tension easing from your shoulders. "Can you take me home now, please?"
He nods, "Yeah, let's get you home."
And then he leads you out, thinking to himself that the next person to take you out will be him, but that's for him to know and you to find out later.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x fem reader#aaron hotchner x bimbo reader#aaron hotchner x bimbo!reader#hotch#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner fic#hotchner#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff#Spotify
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living in some dingy apartment building because it is all you can afford on your income unless you want to eat danimals yogurt and saltine crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. the stern landlady lives on the first floor, and some neighbors blast music on weekday nights (even if they didn't, the walls are paper-thin. you know more about the cambrian period than you'd like to, thanks to room 105) but it's a modest roof over your head and while the darkened grout lines in the bathroom are permanent, at least there's hot water.
until there isn't. and the landlady has mysteriously gone on vacation for the next two months.
what used to be a cathartic cleansing has now become your torment. every other day is hair wash day which means you're bent over the cold, porcelain edge of your tub, back screaming in protest and pain shooting up your bruised knees even though you've sacrificed one of your very nice pillows to avoid exactly that.
and showering is torture. the icy cold water feels like a thousand tiny claws scraping over your tender scalp, sinking into your trembling shoulders. you don't wait for your body to acclimate, just hastily scrub yourself as clean as you can and hop out, your chattering teeth and shaky breaths echoing through the tiny bathroom.
it's like this for a week and a half, a whole 10 days of suffering with showers so cold it feels like shards of ice biting into your goosepimpled skin when it stops. warmth bleeds into the stream of frostbitten water. finally, it soothes instead of stings. your coiled, tense muscles gradually slacken with relief, with unadulterated bliss. steam rises, the tips of your fingers and toes tingle as if thawing. gratitude wells in the corner of your eyes.
if you had any money you could afford to give, you would to your savior, but every dollar you own is earmarked for the bare essentials. so, with your thick, warm bathrobe cinched around your waist, you pen down a little heartfelt note to stick to the bulletin board downstairs before heading out for work.
thank you, whoever you are, for fixing the boiler. i could kiss you <3
when morning comes, you use one of the dull, golden tacks that previously held a lost pet flyer (sorry, bilbo the hamster, but it's been a year) and pin your note up.
only to come home and find it gone, a torn corner all that remains. maybe it's karma for your callousness towards someone's pet. (justice for bilbo.) you shrug it off, giddily skipping up the steps to wash off the day's stress with hot water.
but before you even hang your keys on the wall, there's a pounding on your door, hard enough to rattle it in its frame. and the masked man you see through the peephole isn't familiar. against your better judgment, you clear your throat before cracking open the door. "yes?"
the piece of paper he's holding in his dinner plate-sized hands seems incredibly small— and it's your note.
"i fixed the water." oh. "'m 'ere for wha' 'm owed." owed?
"i'm not— um. the kiss. it's just a figure of speech." the thick muscle of his bicep coils as he crosses his arms over his barrel chest. he's a very large man, as broad as your door.
if you slammed it closed on him, he'd probably leave it hanging by its hinges. that's not worth a measly kiss.
"okay. but on the cheek since i never specified where so it's dealer's choice."
he huffs out an amused breath but complies, hooking his thumb under the edge to pull up his balaclava just enough to expose his stubbled cheek. he's got a couple of scars; thin, slightly raised. run along the sharp edge of his jaw and disappear beneath the fabric.
he leans close, enough to hear his steady, slow exhales. he smells of dirt. salt. something smoky, tangy-- like on new years, minutes after the clock strikes 12.
your hands cradle his face as you rise to your tippy-toes, wetting your lips and crane your neck-- but he snaps his head to the side,
and takes the kiss he was owed.
(he takes a screwdriver to the ac unit next. wire cutters to the fuse box. nails to your tires. anything that'll inevitably lead you back to him. you tried paying him with dinner but the only thing he was interested in eating was your cunt.)
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you
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"Have you heard the latest news already?"
"No, what is it?"
"Lisa got cheated on by her husband" your friend said, making you choke on your milkshake "But that's not all!"
"There's more?" You asked, dumbfounded
"Sadly" she sighed, then grabbed her phone and showed you a photo of a pregnant woman "She was 3 months pregnant with his baby!"
"No way. That's insane. Hope she finds someone better" you declared, frowning. "How could someone do that?"
"He claimed he was getting bored" she said, eyebrows furrowed "Seriously what's wrong with men nowadays? Sometimes, I wonder if my boyfriend would cheat on me if he had the chance to" she took a bite out of her burguer "Don't you think about that too?"
"Sorry?"
"Your husband" she looked at the side, pointing at your husband, who was buying a happy meal for your daughter "Do you ever suspect he would do anything to you?"
"No" you answer without missing a beat "No, I don't"
"How can you be so sure?" She asked "I hope I'm not being insensitive, I'm just curious."
"You're not" you smiled at her, and then looked at your daughter, who was on your man's shoulders, pulling her dad's hair with such love in your eyes that it could only be the love a mother held for her kid and a wife for her husband "I know it because I didn't marry a man who wanted a wife and a kid"
"You didn't?" She asked, confused
"No, I married a man who wants to be a husband and a father." You smiled "And these are two very different types of men." You answered, getting up "I think I should go now. It was nice seeing you again! We can meet up anytime, just message me!"
Watching you leave hand in hand with your husband (who still had your toodler on his shoulders), your friend couldn't help but be a little bit jealous about your relationship, hoping love like that found her one day, too.
Such a strong, beautiful love is getting harder and harder to find. But when she looks at your family, there's absolutely no doubt about it.
You definitely found it.
NANAMI KENTO, GETO SUGURU, Megumi Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru, RIN ITOSHI, Karasu Tabito, Isagi Yoichi, Hiori Yo, USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI, KUROO TETSURO, KITA SHINSUKE + your favs!
Masterlist
#jjk x reader#bllk x reader#haikyuu x reader#nanami x reader#nanami x you#geto x reader#ushijima x reader#itoshi rin x reader#yoichi isagi x reader#karasu x reader#megumi x reader#kuroo x reader#kita x reader#hiori x reader#gojo x reader
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