#I'm trying to keep it to statements where I would legit like to think on the bright side)

[rabbitindisguise]

my therapist gave me this exercise where instead of undercutting postive thoughts with "but [negative thing here]" I need to undercut negative thoughts with "but [positive thing here]" and she prefaced this with "I know this is gonna sound stupid but trust me, it can work" so I can't even be mad that something that sounds so trivial actually helps a Lot

[accio-victuuri]

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE A LEMONADE 🍋🍋🍋

this post is connected to the whole cotti drama that i talked about here & here. the brand has since then posted their statement and apologized, and make no mistake, this has nothing to do with cpf and even if they are szd. it’s all about pr damage control and wanting to gain back the loyalty of wyb’s core fans. i wanna say (sadly) this is not something new in c-ent. so/o fandoms do this all the time, they want the “best” for their idol so they throw tantrums and stage boycotts. what a lovely group of people, nope. brands (should) know this. that popular idols bring in their fandom/money, but one misstep can be a huge problem. for example with cotti, they had a collab with dove last year (august 2023) , xz was already endorsing them at the time but wyb wasn’t. so it’s not like this was done out of nowhere. they just did a repeat collab. but we all know the difference now.

i made a boxiao endorsement cpns post before and consider this as a continuation. cause funnily enough, some so/os started digging up previous “incidents”. thank you for giving us more examples i guess…. 😂😂😂

lemme make a lemonade out of this then!

i will start with this reaction from a passerby because of the hs tag that went on earlier:

There is Cotti downstairs in the company, ever since WYB’s endorsement, there are so many people who buy itevery time. My children also like Dove chocolate.

I saw the hot search today and I was very curious, so I checked 1005. Why can't it be stuck? Isn’t business cooperation normal? Why do fans keep making trouble?

I'm just very curious, so I searched about the product again. WYB and XZ are tied. That’s it! I didn’t know they were in love before!

LOL OMG HAHAHAHAHAAH IM CRYING 🤣🤣🤣 Please!!! If some people just kept quiet then it would be fine. CPFs are such a small group of people that were only commenting on the collab and buying products. So i don’t know what’s the problem. I understand how some fans are sensitive with how WYB is perceived in relation to XZ. and that they don’t want him to appear like he needs XZ to succeed. but aren’t these toxic fans the very people who should know that it isn’t true? both boys are where they are now because of their own merit.

It’s hilarious cause the normal passerby just found out that WYB and XZ are “in love” lol all because of people over reacting.

These are legit brands doing this. CPNs are for CPFs. you know what, sometimes, so/os are so much better at picking up cues like this 😂😂😂😂

THIS SISTER GAVE EXAMPLES OF WHEN WYB ENDORSED BRANDS USED 10:05. cause apparently, XZ owns this number and time.

Redmi (p2) posting at 10:05 for the new year greeting and K70, Lowen (p3) doing the same and setting 10:05 as the time for sales to be opened. I already talked about shu uemura in my old post so better refer to that instead. Chanel (p7) selling perfume and how you can customize it, the example on their website is 肖战. i didn’t even know that happened. lol. i’m such a bad cpf. 😅😅😅

let me expound on p6 cause the photo is too small.

it says WYB got stuck at 10:05 card point 9 times.

so the examples are ariel (bilang), redmi, stride, ping an and then yibo himself. i think the example could the legendary colgate post ( if you know, you know. it’s a big fandom cpn ). and last is richora using 10:05 on their watch. so suspicious lol. must all be connected to XZ! i don’t get it! who is the cpf now??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

here are some more! this time, XZ brands/magazines trying to associate themselves with WYB by using the time 18 ( yibo ) or 08:05 p3 is crest. p4 is kxz and p5 is zhenguoli.

next is this one they dug out for GUCCI. it’s a customized tag. dude. why? do people really think this is a backhanded way from GUCCI trying to tie XZ and WYB? lol. This is obviously a CPF who bought from them and wanted that to be on there because they are a customer! Should GUCCI screen that? make sure every single customer doesn’t associate XZ with others? Make it make sense 🤪🤪🤪

li-ning using a design of someone skateboarding. lol. the brand has had their own street wear and skateboard line for some time now. and then breo japan tagging wyb on their twitter. which is i guess, more of a mistake on whoever their social media person is. they wanted more likes and saw xz and wyb are usually tied together so they added wyb.

lastly, the game xz was promoting before using 85. and then pokemon x dove collab. which is again — makes me go what??? pokemon is such a huge brand that companies love to collab with. as a cpf, i have boundaries when it comes to cpn, i even have disclaimers but i guess solo fans don’t. everything must be related! 👀

i guess there are more examples but these are the ones i have been seeing from so/o fans as proof. of what exactly? i don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ coincidences for a lot of these and not an attempt to associate with someone. i can understand why some brands will do it back in 2019, during cql promos, because it was expected and they were actively promoting a show together.

so what are cpfs doing now? well. supporting cotti ( sample video here ) coffee as fans should and enjoying the unintentional candies the solo fans have prepared for us 😌😌😌

[syrcaljirk]

Disclaimer this post is completely opinion please do not try and find where I live or cancel me lol I am a teenager

so tmagp! this post is gonna contain spoilers up to the most recent episode that came out today. (mag 10)

oh also if you don't want to see criticism/negative opinions don't read this

I am, so far, um not enjoying it, to say the least.

For some context, I got into TMA just before the season finale or so? And I was excited when I heard about tmagp because I wanted to try and figure out stuff myself before it was said in series you know?

and I wanted to like it! and I do, it's really good, but every episode something has been irking me

whether it's the Fandom analyzing every single line (and I get the temptation completely I really do) or the constant callbacks to TMA when they said this show would be a good jumping in point for new listeners

But I think my main issue is the speed at which it's going, the cliche/just genuinely not very scary statements, and the characters actions themselves

Let's take this by section (please ignore my horrible horrible grammar)

Speed: this season has been so quick I keep forgetting we are on episode 10 of season 1 of 3

I get that they're going to go a bit faster than they did before because this is shorter but it's genuinely pissing me off a little bit

I have almost no emotional attachment to these characters. and that feels mean to say when so many people love them and make fic and stuff about them!

But i just really don't know them or their personalities enough to feel that sort of connection to them.

Other than Alice maybe (also why does everyone think she's evil please explain that to me if you want bc I don't see why)

Every episode feels like you're being slapped in the face with lore and it just isn't very pleasant

The show doesn't feel like TMA did and I wasn't expecting it to, really I wasn't. But I expected it to feel at least similar?

Let's get into the most recent episode. I almost hated this episode. And that is so mean of me to say I know.

Let's get into the episode thing now! I haven't been genuinely scared by a single of these episodes. Full stop no lie. Everything is so predictable including the plot and it's really messing with me. Don't get me started on some of them.

But the thing with Bonzo...it's so. Ugh. Like, I came into this expecting slow burn horror with actual tension. And this episode felt like a bad comedy bit. Maybe it's scarier to British folks because of what was his name, um, Mr Blobby?

Anyway this could be bad faith criticism and I am trying my best to enjoy this show and I am but it's. Very different. And I don't know how I feel about it.

The ending felt like a very clear "oOh cLiFfHaNgEr!" thing. I tried to care about it but I didn't feel anything. There was no tension and I didn't even hear the tape recorder. That felt cliche too.

I'm sorry if this comes off as me being an asshole or raining on your parade but this is how I feel about it. I'm a random teenager on the internet I know nothing I'm legit dumb

My opinion doesn't have to be yours, but if you do agree, let me know! I'd like this post to be a respectful place to discuss things that we didn't enjoy instead of just the positives, you know?

And there are a lot of positives! This show IS really good. But there were things I didn't like and that's okay!

[cntrft]

you can't just vanish .

statement earns a surprised scoff - that's new. on the contrary, rue could vanish. new identity, new job ( more like same job just elsewhere ) a whole new life away from what she's always known... but. there's people that bound her to the grounds, never chain her though at time it does make her wonder where she would be if not for them. it's the entire reason why she works so hard to keep her tracks covered, meticulously studied so that no external detail can break the glass house built around her. she could vanish, she just chooses not to.

"is this about some client being unsatisfied with the piece?" a rhetorical question - she remembers perfectly about a statue sold at fifteen grand, not particularly much for her standards but played lower to test waters. should have known the loaded they are the more problems they bring. "if they tried to sell it to someone else and it backfired, they suck at retail and should try another job." a pause, humor in her tone matching tight lipped smile. "if the transaction went through and now they're backtracking there's nothing i can do, i'm afraid."

there's a tapping on keyboard for a moment, focused gaze studying screen. "the piece is legit by the way. like, actually legit." she wasn't the one who stole it directly, but trusts the source enough to not think he's screwing her up too. "tell your friend to put it to auction, they love that kind of stuff."

[talkingpointsusa]

Dave Rubin, in an effort to walk back a bet he made in 2020, declares that Biden isn't the president anymore and lays out why the UN shouldn't take over the USA

In the world of people who have zero idea what they're talking about, Dave Rubin regularly comes out on top. His response to Biden dropping out of the race is in a word, hilarious. I don't want to waste any time here so lets get into it.

Dave starts the show off by reading Biden's announcement that he's dropping out of the race and then starts trying to spin a conspiracy theory that Biden's resignation was a coup.

05:43, Dave Rubin: "We do know, obviously, that Joe Biden does not run his Twitter account. There is zero chance they let him hold the phone and let him log into social media. There's zero chance that he would know how to do that much less that they would allow him how to do that -- allow him to do that. So, somebody and we don't even know who yet and oddly the media isn't asking, somebody who we assume on the Biden team posted that image."

So, this is the narrative that dumb dumbs like Dave Rubin have been going with - that Biden dropping out of the race was some kind of coup. They don't have any evidence for this so they just say things like "Oh, well Biden probably uses a social media manager so that means that none of his tweets were ever written by him ever and he's unable to ever make decisions for himself". It's so dumb.

06:08, Dave Rubin: "Lets assume its legit but why wasn't it on official White House stationary?"

Because Biden's campaign is separate from his official duties as president.

Think about this coup narrative for more than two seconds. If it is a coup than there's a whole lot of presidency left for Biden to correct the record. Biden's recent speech about dropping out really makes this prediction look even dumber in hindsight.

Plus, for months Dave and the rest of conservative media has been saying that Biden is unfit for office and needs to drop out. Now that he has dropped out its suddenly a coup. This is so stupid and the cognitive dissonance required to consume this kind of content uncritically is astounding.

07:03, Dave Rubin: "Now I wanna jump back because as I said, the truth has been slow rolled by the media for years and years and years, maybe for decades for all we know and its only since the advent of the relatively free internet that a bunch of us have woken up to this nonsense."

Hey Dave, ever heard of FOX News? How about Rush Limbaugh and conservative talk radio? How about conservative-leaning newspapers like the Daily Mail? All of those existed long before the internet.

So, with all that pre-amble out of the way here's where things get interesting. Dave plays a video of him from November 2020 where he makes a bet with his audience. The mental gymnastics that Dave starts doing after playing that video are astounding. Here's what Dave had to say in the video that he plays:

07:37, Dave Rubin (in 2020): "You know what? Here we go, I'm gonna make a bold statement. Michael going to make a bold statement today, bold statement here we go. If Joe Biden is sworn in on January 20th 2021 and he completes a four year term, actually completes a four year term, I will retire. I will retire at the end of that four year term, that will be it. I will disappear in just over four years, four years and about a month and a half."

Yeah, playing that was a bad idea.

So, people on the left tend to hold that video up as a way to make fun of Dave Rubin because well, he's being a complete idiot and his prediction absolutely blew up in his face.

I figured that Dave wouldn't hold up his end of the bargain when Biden completed his term, he's an internet grifter and he was talking shit back in 2020 as internet grifters tend to do. But the way I figured it was going to go down would be that Dave wouldn't acknowledge what he actually said, he keeps making content, we all laugh at him and move on with our lives. Turns out I underestimated how much of an absolute moron Dave Rubin is.

Dave spends a huge chunk of this episode trying to explain how he was actually right back in 2020 which puts him in a very awkward position: having to prove that this guy who's still clearly the president isn't in fact the president anymore. Listen to this dumbass argument.

08:16, Dave Rubin: "The reason I'm showing you that guys, its not even to pat myself on the back, I just saw what was obvious. Now, whether he finishes the term or not is utterly irrelevant because it is obvious he is not president."

Who is watching this?! What does it take to watch this and go "Oh yeah, that sounds right!". Not helping matters is the fact that the explanation that Dave gave doesn't even get him out of the bet. His exact words were "If Biden completes a four year term" and now apparently him completing the term is "irrelevant". The goalposts have been moved so far that one of them was just sighted somewhere in the Siberian Tundra.

If you're reading this and you're a Dave Rubin fan just tell me why? Why this guy? There are other people on this big sphere we call Earth making videos you know. Dave isn't even good at being a conservative grifter! Say what you will about Ben Shapiro (and I will) but at least he doesn't pull stupid maneuvers like this on his show and can make a semi-coherent argument from time to time.

Anyway, Biden apparently isn't the president anymore. You guys realize that Dave could have avoided making absolutely ridiculous statements like this and making a complete fool of himself by simply not playing that video from 2020 or by playing it and going 'I messed this one up guys, sorry'. I guarantee you that nobody in his audience remembered it until he played it in this episode. Are some people on Twitter making fun of you really that important Dave?

08:53, Dave Rubin: "Am I a wizard? Do I have a Magic 8 Ball? Am I from the future? I don't think so. All I am not, I'm just not a completely braindead moron."

The best way to prove that you're not a completely braindead moron is to stop acting like a completely braindead moron. Just saying.

09:01, Dave Rubin: "And too many people in mainstream media and online treat you guys like braindead morons."

He said while treating his audience like braindead morons.

09:32, Dave Rubin: "I wanna show you this tweet from Chris Rufo because I thought he made a good point here. Chris wrote 'The Biden news illustrates an important principle: there is power in law, title, and votes, but this can be overcome by the mobilization of public opinion and elite pressure. They put Biden in the squeeze and the squeeze won'. I retweeted that and I added just a bit more to it. I wrote 'It's a coup. And Biden may not even know. It was a digital signature and he isn't allowed to hold a phone. You gotta admire their evil. Not what they do, but how they do it.'"

I never thought I'd see the day when somebody is so dumb that they make Chris Rufo look intelligent by comparison but here it is.

The first reason why this is such an utterly ridiculous statement is that if this was a coup than by definition Biden wouldn't know. People who are being couped don't sign documents officially approving the coup, they get overthrown against their will.

Dave has absolutely zero proof that the signature on Biden's resignation letter was a digital one and he has even less proof that Biden "isn't allowed to hold a phone". He's making an extraordinarily bold declaration with zero proof to back it up, which is par for the course in conservative media but its somehow even more glaring here.

Dave reads more of his old tweets, reads a bunch of tweets from a guy named Jeremy Ryan Slate and then declares that Biden dropping out was a coup again.

16:33, Dave Rubin: "The point of all of that is I have often said to you guys that these people operate like the alien in the Alien movies and now -- and I wrote about this in Don't Burn This Country, this is how the woke operate but this is really how the Democrats operate."

Aren't the Democrats supposed to be woke though? I guess the woke and the Democrats are two separate groups of people now. As any Knowledge Fight fan/wonk will tell you, half the conservative movement seems to think that movies are real and this is no exception. Dave plays the end scene from the original Alien movie and attempts to explain how this relates to the Democrats.

18:04, Dave Rubin: "Do you get it? He doesn't like what the alien is doing, you shouldn't like what the Democrats are doing but you have to acknowledge what they are doing. What the elites, the Democrats, the media people -- they are taking out an elected president of the United States. We don't even know where Joe Biden is right now, we don't even know if he signed that freaking thing, we have no idea if they're withholding medication from the guy, we just don't know."

Could it be because the guy had COVID and was in quarantine? This is ridiculous, especially now that Biden's delivered speeches indicating that it was his decision to drop out. Bad prediction Dave.

18:25, Dave Rubin: "And I have no doubt people will clip this and say I'm a conspiracy theorist but I have a pretty good track record of at least directionally being right about this stuff."

"Directionally right" could mean basically anything. Dave wasn't even directionally right by any stretch of the imagination here.

"Your honor, I may have ran through that red light and hit a pedestrian but I went straight didn't I? That was directionally right!"

20:02, Dave Rubin: "I am not for the UN taking over the United States by the way, it is the most evil corrupt organization in the history of the world since the Legion of Doom in the DC Comics."

This is political commentary as seen through the eyes of a seven year old. "The UN is the most evil organization in history since this completely fictional organization." What are we even doing?!

Dave does an ad pivot for bacon and I'm done with this episode.

Conclusion:

God, that was stupid. I have absolutely no words for how stupid that was. I don't think that it surprises anybody that Dave thinks that comic books and movies are real but man, this is what happens when somebody talks so much shit that the previous shit-talk piles up and bites them on the ass and it's absolutely glorious to watch. Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

[irresistiibles]

was that dev patel? oh no no, that was just jonathan sims, a canon character from the magnus archives. they are thirty one years old, use he/they, and are not aware that they are not actually from washington dc. too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here

probably like 8 months but he believes he's lived here 13 years.

what is your character’s job

he works as an archivist for the national archives (and has worked in the past at george washington university as an archivist and honestly preferred that and might wind up going back to it especially once he's aware again)

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

see that's a great question and kinda why he's unaware until i finish this relisten. he's not gonna be unaware too too long but i'm trying to figure out if i want him more middle of the series around season 2 or 3 or more at the end. if other people bring characters i'll probably see about potentially matching that or not to cause problems

has any magic affected your character

memories are gone!

more info:

**i'm going to keep spoilers light though it will mention some abilities jon has which are spoilers for like season 3? but i won't go into details about how or why he has those abilities

so unimportant but according to the wiki both john and jon are fine as spellings and i'll mostly be using jon.

head archivist from the magnus archives it's jon's job to go through statements from people about things of potentially paranormal activity

it's a horror podcast so obviously things devolve pretty fast but i won't get too far into it.

he's not the easiest to get along with in first meeting. he can come across as pretty rude and dismissive and condescending. he prioritizes his work over being nice and isn't the best at being social

but they are nice, they just aren't very good at being nice. jon can get very in his own head and tends to trust himself far more than others, which obviously leads to him being uh, just kinda obnoxious sometimes idk how else to say it

he thinks he moved to dc at 18 from britain in order to get his bachelor and masters in the us and wound up staying there after being offered a good job opportunity he couldn't turn up, so while he didn't grow up in dc he's been here a while

they're aware of the weirdness in dc, and have been doing some independent research on it, though jon is sure there's a reasonable explanation for it all that just hasn't been discovered yet

records all his research on a tape recorder of course.

honestly right now he's easier to get along with than he would be with his memories. yeah, they're a bit standoffish, and too smart for his own good with a tendency to pry, but jon is relatively nice beyond that and can be a bit of a pushover and easy to get around.

has some light powers of compulsion but does not know this at the moment and definitely has the chance to do it by accident. this is mostly used in terms of compelling people to answer questions he asks and we can definitely plot stuff with this is desired

asexual and biromantic

potential plots:

anyone he knows from work. government officials who have gone to him to retrieve records, students, what have you. listen my knowledge on legit archivist work is light but we'll make it work

a roommate as long as they're cool having a cat

some friends? honestly he's not hard to push into friendship if you can deal with their personality

definitely friends that drag him out to a bar or cafe or whatever because otherwise he will work late nights and weekends the guy needs to get out

someone they butt heads with, maybe met through work or something similar. jon is so easy to butt heads with if you take first impressions seriously.

maybe a barista jon sees all the time. he gets a lot of tea and would have a preferred particular order so

someone could absolutely get him hooked on energy drinks

some one off dates either past or present

since he's trying to research washington if your muse is aware and wants to talk about home or any of the crazy events jon would love to do an interview

i'll come up with more as i add him to my plot doc.

[genericpuff]

oh hiiiiii-

ok so I'm not the authority on this in the slightest and god knows I was as confused as y'all when I first read this scene years ago, but from what I can tell this was Rachel's attempt at referencing the location where Persephone was abducted from in the original myth, as it's cited in a few poems that she was taken while walking in the meadows of Mount Etna which are located in Sicily. Here's a quote from the myth of Minthe that backs it up , though there are loads more sources on it as well out there (this one's just the most to-the-point):

(tw: rape, though bear in mind it's being used to mean 'kidnap' here:)

Oppian, Halieutica 3. 485 (trans. Mair) (Greek poet C3rd A.D.) : "Mint, men say, was once a maid beneath the earth, a Nymphe of Kokytos (Cocytus), and she lay in the bed of Aidoneus [Haides]; but when he raped the maid Persephone from the Aitnaian hill [Mount Etna in Sicily], then she complained loudly with overweening words and raved foolishly for jealousy, and Demeter in anger trampled upon her with her feet and destroyed her. For she had said that she was nobler of form and more excellent in beauty than dark-eyed Persephone and she boasted that Aidoneus would return to her and banish the other from his halls : such infatuation leapt upon her tongue. And from the earth spray the weak herb that bears her name."

(this is the version of the myth where Demeter is the one to turn Minthe into the mint plant)

So I guess Rachel decided to fully commit to the bit by making Persephone straight up Italian, and by making Hades be from Sicily too so that they could bond over being born in the same place (because god knows they legit have nothing else to bond over besides loving money, twisting their napkins, terrorizing nymphs, and hating Demeter-)

That said, I don't think Rachel was trying to make any sort of statement about Greece vs. Italy, I think she was just being Rachel and writing in random references thinking it made her clever but ultimately it just made her look silly. That said, Persephone is a menace towards lower class nymphs and anyone who isn't Hades, but that has less to do with her being Sicilian and more to do with her just being a terrible person. This whole bit comes across more as her literally just playing that pretend poor girl who's from the Mortal Realm so obviously she's uwu innocent and naive but ALSO a girlboss who knows what she wants, but not TOO independent because she still needs to convince the audience it's feminist for her to get married to the first guy who pays attention to her, and a much older and more powerful man at that. So in comes the hero Hades to console her that they do, in fact, have things in common, very flimsy things that don't mean anything, but that's more than enough for him.

TL ; DR: It's pick-me "I'm not like other girls >:(((" writing.

What's also funny is the dialogue, bro's going straight up Dwight Schrute here with the use of the word "motherland" LMAO

never apologize for being white, Persephone, you just keep gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing your way into your man's bank account and the homes of women who are lower class than you (*♡∀♡) /s

the fact that this wasnt mocked en masse was INSANE

THIS LOOKS SO FAKE I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. ITS OK TO BE WHITE PERSEPHONE

[fdragon-art]

Day 347 - Misunderstanding

So I took a self-diagnostic test and it turns out I'm probably autistic.

...hooray?

It still doesn't explain why I never did my homework. It still doesn't explain why I never really had friends at school until I left primary school and hit high school. It still doesn't explain how I stopped liking things enough to spend weeks on an idea, even if it eventually didn't pan out.

...right?

Does it explain my less-than-ideal coping mechanisms? Does it explain my need to be so unbelievably private? Does it explain why, even as I may overshare at times, I don't truly trust anyone with my whole self?

Does it...?

I don't think it really helps much with my current day-to-day. I don't think it tells me what's really wrong with me. I don't think, even, that it's entirely accurate, despite the test being reliable and verified.

*sigh*

...but what if I'm wrong?

[lowkeyorloki]

I legit read your recent post like three times. Absolutely love the way you portray angst man. What do you think would happen if the roles were reversed? What would loki’s reaction be? :00

i cannot tell you how much i LOVE these types of asks. apologies for the late response - classes started back up again. you know how it is.

CW for cheating, blood. Unhealthy relationships. Puritans and minors begone.

~

You don't need to duck to miss the wine glass that's soaring towards your head. It misses you by a fraction - something you're sure Loki does on purpose. When a shard nicks you on the way down, shattering against the wall and cutting you, drawing blood on your cheeks where tears should be... well, that's probably on purpose too.

Your fingers lift, collecting the blood and looking at it. It shines under the kitchen lights. Without a thought, you wipe it on the front of your jeans, then drag your eyes towards Loki.

He's seething. Or he wants you to think he is. Loki's shoulder's are raised, and it's probably supposed to make him look bigger, but it just makes him resemble an animal in its final defense. Snarling, hackles raised. Lashing out as a last resort.

Even if doing so gets itself killed. Doesn't matter. It's going to die anyway.

"Not you," Loki is saying, muttering as his hands shake. "It's not - anyone but you. You're not supposed to do this to me. Not like everyone. You can't hurt me like everyone else. You wouldn't."

"I would." Your words are unsympathetic, your tone dejected. You're crying - the salt burning the slices on your cheek gives it away. You wouldn't say you're crying, though, that's not how you'd phrase it. No sobs rack your body, no weight sits on your chest.

You're tearing up is all. A physical reaction, not an emotional one.

"Yes, but you're not supposed to," Loki snaps, roaring. Magic escapes his every pore, it shatters the windows and the pictures and the doors of the oven and microwave. Destroys the home you've built together, strips it of the mundanity. The very thing Loki craves, the one thing you can give him.

You don't even flinch.

"This is part of it, Loki, I can't," you swallow, your mouth dry. "You need to stop... idolizing me. You've built me up in your mind. I'm not the perfect person you want. It's like... I don't even want to try to be whoever your idea is. I don't care. Just like you don't if you don't take the time to learn about who I am. The person who actually exists, not the version of me you want."

"So that's why you've betrayed me?" Loki spits. Literally. Saliva drips down his chin. "To make a point? To highlight the flaws of our relationship? The ones that I am to blame for?"

"Loki -"

"Just like Thor? Like my father? You speak about expectations, but your tiny Midgardian mind cannot even come close to understanding what it is like to have to live in someone's shadow, to always -"

"Enough!" You shout. "Enough, Loki. Enough with the self pity. No more. I'm tired. I'm tired of your inability to see outside yourself. I'm not diminishing what you've been through. I never have. I'm saying everyone else has problems, too. And you seem to think that statement somehow invalidates your struggles. I don't have the strength to keep hearing that. I just don't."

"You don't love me." Loki whimpers, taken down a peg. You finally feel it, the emotions while you were still in bed with the woman. The shame you felt, and the guilt.

Cheating is a crime, you won't deny Loki of that. But you aren't the only guilty party in the room.

"I love parts of you. You're beautiful, Loki, your mind and your heart. I love you ugly, too." Loki has turned around, leaning over the kitchen sink as he pants. You rub his back, feel his taut muscles shift under his shirt. "I don't like your competition. I don't like looking back over all these years and realizing my pain has to come in second to the person I should trust the most with it."

"You're blaming me."

"No," you say truthfully. "Not at all."

You and Loki are silent. Loki turns back around, and he takes your hand. You let him.

"Hurts," he whispers.

"I'm sorry." Your voice cracks. "I just... I just wanted a distraction. I wanted to stop being myself for a moment. The version that you've made, and the one I like to think I am."

"I'll never forgive you." Loki tells you. "I'll never trust you again."

It stings. It throbs, actually. The knowledge settles over you like a fog, shrouding you.

"You don't have to stay." He deserves to leave. You know he does.

"No, but I want to. How fucked up is that?" Loki's eyes are tired. He slumps forward, his head burrowing in the crook of your neck. You close your eyes, carding your fingers through his hair.

"Terrible," you admit.

You both stand.

For better or worse (for worse, for worse, for worse) you both stay.

[draftingteacups]

Okay this came to me as more of a thing Soni does to warn TWST world at large with her National Pokémon Geographic thing, but imagine her talking about the various Evil Teams in her world and pointing out that considering how many there were, they really should be wary of one forming here. They use Team Rocket as a least destructive example, and Team Galactic and Flare as most. Because Team Galactic wanted to recreate the world into one without spirit, knowing it would kill everyone in the previos world, and the Spirit is Willpower, Knowledge, and Emtions so yeah, and Team Flare just went "You know what we want to do? Commit actual genocide on everyone not a part of our group!"

Me: *Gets an ask about Casual Geographic Soni and crime organizations* Oh, that'll be quick to do!

Narrator voice: And that was a massive lie.

I got so into this idea that I'm just spewing out possible plot points and scenarios with characters that it's like it's a chapter at this point ☠️This took me almost an entire day to write, and I wish that I was kidding about that. I wrote this starting around 9-ish AM and it's almost 8 PM☠️☠️☠️

The plot bunnies just kept coming and they didn't stop- at one point, I just wanted to eat the food I was writing about laksdfjakljadj. Legit, I was serious in the beginning and then it just unraveled into a hangout fic with food like-☠️☠️☠️what did I do?

NOTE: It became a What-If situation really quickly and got more complicated the more I wrote. If this shows up in the main fic, and it is very likely that might be because this situation, in particular, is something that would happen eventually in the fic, I'm going to tag this ask under minor spoilers or spoilers.

This topic isn't something that Soni could release to the public without informing the governments that rule TWST first on the subject matter in the first place.

Soni knows how much of a headache people could be with misinformation about crime groups (a common thing that happened after her Championship for multiple reasons, whether it was to defame her or blame her) and so to make it an official statement as to show how important it is, she tells Crowley to contact the leaders of TWST (do your damn job first you frigging crow man) and ask them for an official audience.

Crowley would be like: "Why would there be a Pokemon crime organization forming here, Miss Monet? Magic is the most widely-used thing on the planet!"

Soni goes, "That's exactly the mentality people had before Team Galactic tried to wipe out the universe and Team Plasma took over the Pokemon League and release all Pokemon from captivity as to control it. You really don't think people with magic wouldn't try and combine their skills with Pokemon alongside them? Don't even get me started on Team Flare and them trying to basically keep everyone living forever while getting rid of the people that didn't align with them in an incredibly terrible way."

Crowley's dealt with the students interacting with Pokemon on NRC and imagines people doing that someplace else, but with nefarious intentions. He does his job (for once) and gets the whole thing started.

Soni is a well-known figure in her world as the Champion with a lot of other deeds in helping her people in the years she's been Champion, so most wouldn't disregard her claims as false, especially with her deeds in defeating Team Flare and keeping Neo Flare as buried as they are now.

In TWST, she's known on the internet about these fantastical creatures and is an internet personality with a definite twist on what was expected in the world, but in terms of connections, accomplishments, and such, Soni's a normal person. You can probably see where that's going.

Like it's canonical that Crowley's terrible at handling things (the event stories, the promise to Grim in Episode 2 about Magishift, freaking Episode 4 with him & his Hawaiian crow-apple shirt leaving for the tropics while we were at the school), but if it's for the benefit of his school (school PR, relationships, money, etc.), so this would be brought up to the other countries ASAP and then slam all the responsibility on Soni (as per usual 🙄) in making the whole thing a success.

It's going to be several days worth of meetings because this sort of thing doesn't seem like a one-day affair, not to mention the amount of time and effort it takes to get to Sage's Island depending on where you live. It becomes a huge international thing and Soni's dealing with all sorts of royals/heads of the countries (that are known to us at the moment) from everywhere. Queendom of Roses, Briar Valley, Sunshine Lands, Kingdom of Heroes, Shaftlands, Coral Sea, and more.

Soni takes everything in stride because she's already got Powerpoints on these things and firsthand experience on these crime groups. We know that she'll prepare herself during this and all the questions that they could ask her. Thankfully, she is excused from her classes during those days to deal with the meeting itself. Her friends are confused while Grim's suffering in the classes alone without her, mostly for his favorite sleeping perch. Grim's told that he can stay over at Heartslabyul during those days, and Grim is hesitant to do so because like heck he wants to wake up and do the weird Rules of Heartslabyul!

Soni pacified him by giving him three tuna cans and he went along with it, although he was still very grumpy about it.

I imagine that the meeting takes place on Sage's Island because it's neutral territory for all of them. Probably in the town on the island with intense security measures. I'm sure there's a big building for those sorts of discussions like a Hall of Justice or something? idk I need a building name alskdfja

Imagine the fanfare on the island though. This was a meeting between rulers from other nations for several days, not to mention that the media's definitely going to be there to try and see if they can get a scoop on the activities.

So yeah, everyone at NRC is just buzzing with activity on why they were coming to Sage's Island. Soni pointedly keeps quiet about it, despite Ace and Deuce begging her for details since it was obvious that she was involved somehow while heckling her for doing more adult responsibilities again after dealing with her stuff at NRC + Overblots.

The whole entrance of the kings, queens, and other rulers of the TWST world is something else as they step on the carpet leading to the Sage's Island Hall of Justice.

Imagine the Queen of the Queendom of Roses to arrive in a flowery fashion that depicts the latest fashion sense in the kingdom while looking regal and majestic. The king might be handling the queendom while his wife is abroad to ensure everything is running smoothly while she's gone.

Imagine the King of the Coral Sea in his human form holding himself well and poised, wearing clothing that depicts his kingdom and its vast history. Maybe he's carrying a trident as well? I'm not entirely sure, but it's likely.

Imagine Soni coming in her nicest clothes (Crewel had a lot of fun with it and Soni suffered from the extensive questions about fashion in her world for the fiftieth time). She's very knowledgeable about the way that nobility can behave towards her, even with her Grand Duchess status, based on her common origins alone. She hasn't revealed her status to them yet, so she dresses formally enough to look good for the presentation with a touch of NRC in the clothes themselves as to symbolize where she's working. She doesn't want to offend any of the more sensitive nobles on proper etiquette. Soni's dealt with that enough from her own world.

She knows nothing about the nobles, aside from what's on the internet, but it's better to be cautious about those sorts of things.

When Soni comes in, she sees a roundtable of important figures in TWST. The Queen of the Queendom of Roses, King Farena of the Afterglow Savannah, King of the Coral Sea, and even Malleus' grandmother as the ruler of Briar Valley came to the meeting.

The kings, queens, and rulers of TWST ask her questions about the topic of the meeting in question. Like a normal teenager would've crumbled under the eyes of various world leaders, but Soni's long since handled things like that even before she was a Champion. She's open-minded to the questioning because they've obviously never encountered Pokemon crime groups before or how they operated on a wide-scale while evading detection. She has, so she had an obligation to inform them of what exactly they were dealing with.

I feel like her calmness is so different in comparison to how a normal teenager would react in front of this many people, especially in front of royalty. It's almost eerie in the way that she takes their words, asks for clarification on the topic, and then answers them with such distinct evidence on numerous past occasions that it'd be impossible for one person to think up of on the spot or even prepared, down to the last detail.

The fact that she comes from another world is inevitable in the meeting due to the strangeness of it all. After all, they've certainly never heard any of this before, and everyone in the room understands that this was serious.

Her role as Champion/Grand Duchess with identification with her Trainer ID as well as the items of proof themselves like her badges is shown to them. Gene's the one that she brought to the presentation as he's very sweet and amiable to the attention that everyone gives him when she explains Pokemon to them in a simple way as to not overwhelm them.

I can imagine how some are fascinated by the concept of battling as to control such fearsome beasts is no small achievement, but the fact that people and Pokemon have been working alongside one another for as long as they did is what makes them more receptive to the idea.

The crime organization evidence that had been copied and put into her Rotomphone for distribution amongst the leaders of the nations. There's no way for her to have these documents and make them so professional in the time that she had with them, especially since there were numerous names of important officials, specific dates, and official seals from numerous organizations that don't exist in TWST that look too detailed for them to be false.

Crime exists regardless of any world. Why can't there be one with Pokemon and magic? People are always finding ways to evolve themselves, why not use the mysterious creatures and put the blame on them too?

Ignoring the problem will only make it worse in the future and allow the organization to grow influence. Handle the situation quickly and efficiently while maintaining the peace of the people. Making specialized forces that are equipped for these sorts of infiltration missions are important.

Certain Pokemon like Electric types can cause wave interference in places like radio towers and such for hacking, it happened in Goldenrod Radio Tower right before Team Rocket invaded the tower itself. What more for magical ones?

(I envisioned that the idea of magic is the same as long as you fine-tune it to the specific wavelength used, so it doesn't matter if it's magically powered or electrically powered. It's just on the same wavelength. idk science really, but that's what my brain thought.)

Eventually, they decided to take the time to see the preparation methods that Soni has made as well as her suggestions into consideration, but that would be another day since it'd gotten late. They take the copied documents with them and Soni's allowed to make her video on it as soon as everything is in place.

I see them wanting to talk to Soni afterward.

King Farena is one of them as he'd heard of Soni from his son and barely a peep from his brother, but he's heard of her nonetheless. As Cheka had been stubborn enough to come for his Uncle and his new friend, Farena brought him along as to get accustomed to dealing with other places, but obviously, Cheka wasn't in the meeting room.

Cut to the sound of Cheka being super excited to see his friend with all the cool monsters, practically Tackling her. She withstands it unsurprisingly and says hello to the little prince.

Cheka snuck away again to see his dad and his new friend rip the guards watching him☠️

Some of the questions that Cheka asks Soni on impact: Did his friend become friends with his dad? Are they friends now? Can he go see the monsters at her house? Can he eat those tasty sweets that she gave him before? He really liked those! The ones at the palace are okay, but he really likes those tasty foods!

Farena wonders how Soni's handling Cheka that well before Gene breaks character as he sees his friend from before, nuzzling Cheka with the same energy that Cheka radiates.

Farena makes the time to ask Soni questions and Cheka does the same because he's watched her videos and he has a bunch of questions about certain Pokemon (he only really watched the fun ones with the Pokemon eating snacks, which is why he asked).

Eventually, Cheka had to be bribed with the promise of dessert after he's had dinner, which makes him sad for exactly three seconds before saying, "Can we have dinner at your house then?"

Soni, imagining the chaos of the missing Prince of the Afterglow Savannah as well as the fact his dad's right there: "Are you sure you want to go there? It's pretty far from here on foot."

Cheka: "Yes! I want to see all your friends! They're really nice! And that food you made me last time was really tasty!"

Soni, trying to think of a way to get out of the situation without making Cheka sad: "Ask your dad first for permission."

Cheka pulls the 'Please dad, I wanna go! look on Farena' and suddenly, Soni's dealing with making dinner for the two royals for that evening because Farena is also just as curious about the Pokemon. He just hides it better than Cheka alsdjflaljl

Like the Hall of Justice is making a food spread for the royals by well-known chefs to suit their palates, but there they were heading to NRC for the meal. Soni's just surprised that King Farena just agreed so easily. Don't worry, they alerted the guards about where they were and all that. It's all good ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Dior's Teleport is used as opposed to the method of Flying Pokemon for the sake of secrecy and to prevent people from following them. It's also a whole lot quicker than walking or sneaking around.

While Soni's making the menu in the time that she has, Farena's pulling out his wallet to pay for the meal since it was the least that he could do for doing this to her.

Unsurprisingly, the two lions want meat and were alright with vegetables but Soni could tell that they weren't fond of them either. It was better than Leona's outright refusal to eat vegetables. In the end, she buys them a lot of meat to satisfy their cravings.

If you wanna know the meal plan, it's tonkatsu (a breaded pork cutlet that's been deep-fried that's typically served with a side of rice and shredded cabbage) and a side of milk vegetable stew topped with cheese. She picks some sweet biscuits for a quick-make parfait since she's got her Berry farms as well as nicer serving glasses because she wants to make it look nice.

As the shopping's happening in the Mystery Shop with Sam being happy with the customers that Soni brought in, Cheka's holding Gene in his arms, very content with his buddy and not running around so he doesn't trip over and hurt them both. They have mini conversations with one another in the meantime, looking🥺💖

Cheka's involved in the cooking process by picking the Berries on her farm with the assistance of her Pokemon like Combee, Nimbus, and the Cottonees making sure that he was safe. Farena is amazed by how she was operating the farm and asks her how many people were running it.

Soni: "Oh, I'm the only one. My Pokemon help me maintain it as it is. That, and the Wild Pokemon come to help me out."

Farena: "Is there anyone else around your dorm to assist you?"

Soni: "I do have Grim. He's technically my magical half as I'm attending NRC. Other than him, the Pokemon, and the ghosts that were former students, we're the only ones here."

Farena, a bit concerned: "Are there no adults assisting you at this dorm, Miss Monet?"

Soni explains that she was a part of the staff originally before she was made into a student, so she's technically the supervisor of Ramshackle, thus the adult. That does not help Farena feel better about the situation.

Cheka shows up with his basket of sweet Berries and is very pleased with his assistance.

While the meal is being cooked by Soni and the three ghosts assist her because they all collectively agree that she should be resting up, Cheka and Farena have a bonding experience with the Pokemon. Granted, it's already rather cozy and warm with the blankets that encase Cheka's being, but being surrounded by Pokemon makes it even better. Meanwhile, Farena's recording the scene on his phone to show his wife after the trip was over as well as sending a text to someone.

Then, Leona comes into Ramshackle and wonders what the heck they were doing in here and why his brother texted him until Soni announces dinner was ready. Cheka just hangs from Leona in a hug and just does not care about his uncle's grumpy looks.

Soni: "Oh hey, we're just about to eat dinner."

Leona: "Why are you feeding them? Isn't there a fancy dinner party at that meeting for the next few days?"

Soni: "At first, Cheka wanted to eat my sweets and it evolved into me making food for the both of them. It's fine if you don't wanna eat, but I'd make the decision quick because the tonkatsu will cool off."

Needless to say, the three lions enjoyed their meals, although Leona had to be nagged into eating the veggies in the soup and ate a whole lot of meat in the process. Cheka was delighted by the taste of the soup and got two extra portions along his tonkatsu, his ears moving with excitement. Farena asks Soni if she used anything different from normal since the taste was rather delicious, which she follows up by saying she has Pokemon that produce milk and the taste is popular in her world.

Dessert was just as delicious: a mixed Berry parfait with Pecha Berries and Oran Berries layered with Alcremie cream and the biscuits from earlier that were frozen quickly using Mila's Ice Beam. Farena had to stop Cheka from eating too many parfaits alksdlk; the little lion got through two cups already in the span of three minutes

After bringing Farena and Cheka back to the Hall of Justice, Leona is still unhappy at the fact that his brother and nephew came and only stops when Soni tells him that she'll hand him some of the leftover tonkatsu for both him and Ruggie to enjoy in the comfort of their dorm.

It did not escape the other royals' that wondered where the Afterglow Savannah royal family went last night, but when they got told it was a family meet-up and remembering how Leona was at NRC, they didn't question it, although they did question how they got up there without being detected.

Soni's just pretending like she didn't know shit in the corner like 🧍‍♀️

That day was briefing them all on Pokemon themselves and that's a huge undertaking. Thankfully, Soni's got experience from doing it on her Casual Pokegraphic (idk about names, so I'm just going with this) videos as well as her friends and others asking her constantly. They were more receptive to her than the other day, which was good.

Gene is used as an example for evolution and she shows how different Pokemon can change form depending on the circumstances. They were intrigued by how many that Eevee could transform into, especially the Fairy type, Sylveon.

Malleus' grandmother is intrigued by the Fairy types that are in Soni's world and asks her about that. Cue a long explanation of how the Fairy type had been a recent discovery in the last few years in her world and how the Pokemon world was constantly rediscovering and learning more things about Pokemon. After that meeting, Soni steps outside last of the royals and is approached by Malleus' grandma.

She might be the one to ask her "How old are you really?" because she just has something off about her that isn't completely human, but not anything of fae-blood in her features.

Soni says that she's 16, and the fae woman says that Soni better not be lying.

Soni vaguely says that she encountered a powerful Fairy type that changed her as a way to not outright say her status as a Blessed because that's a sensitive topic. Malleus' grandmother nods in understanding since she knows how fae tends to be and how they can be towards humans.

When Soni goes back to NRC that day, Lilia and Malleus' grandmother as well as Mr. Horns himself are talking to one another while enjoying the pleasant company of the baby Pokemon that Lilia tried to steal again until Malleus' grandmother showed up to question what exactly he was doing. Sebek and Silver are alert, ready to fight any attackers, even though there were other guards around the vicinity of Ramshackle Dorm.

Happiny's just chilling on Malleus' lap, very happy to be surrounded by friends while Malleus enjoyed the precious time that he was spending with his family and his little happy friend, Happiny. Malleus' grandmother seems rather amused by the Pokemon that stopped to greet them while they worked until she spots Soni coming back. The guards get wary of the human who approaches them, unsure of who the heck this random human is.

Happiny just squeaks at the sight of Soni, asking to be picked up and laughing in joy when Soni does.

Malleus asks Soni if she had any of their usual snacks as he wants to share them with his grandmother. Thankfully, Soni still had leftover parfaits the previous night, thanks to Farena's efforts. Granted, one of the guards tastes it for poison (which makes Soni remember that oh, yeah, that was a thing here since they didn't know Pecha Berries cured the Poison status or any poisonous substance oops) and clears it for consumption.

Malleus looks unhappy at the suspicion, but he can't refute their fears. They did not know his Child of Man like the rest of them did. His grandmother didn't seem to have that same suspicion thankfully.

They all enjoy the cold treats and Lilia spoonfeeds Happiny on the treat, much to the delight of the Pokemon. Lilia can't stop cooing at the expression on Happiny's face. Soni has to stop Lilia from feeding Happiny too many sweets since that would make Happiny restless for the rest of the day. The ruler of Briar Valley is pleased by the cold treat presented and is intrigued by the Berries while Malleus, feeling happy, tells her that Soni grows them for her Pokemon as well as makes items with it to sell.

That leads to Soni explaining how the Berries used in the desserts were used for certain things other than eating. For example, Pecha Berries were for getting rid of Poison and Oran Berries were for healing minor wounds, which leads to making more sweets for them to sample as that interested Malleus' Grandma.

Soni, Silver, and Sebek have to stop Lilia from cooking alkdsfjaslk

Soni decides to make malasadas with Berry Syrup of their choosing.

If they wanted, she could mix up some milkshakes for them to go along with their malasadas. Cue Mila's Ice Beam being used to speed up the ice cream process with a special process. Mila's Milotic form is pleasing to the eyes and captivates all who watch it.

Soni made a big batch of malasadas as she wanted to send some over to Ruggie since she was sure he'll try to steal some later. He always knew whenever she made them for some reason. Probably because of Morpeko. Most likely Morpeko.

Anyways, during the wait time for the dough to settle down, Malleus talked about his experiences at NRC to his grandmother. While many were still afraid of him, he is glad to have met Soni as she didn't care about him or his status as long as he was her friend, which he repaid in turn when he learned about her being a Grand Duchess/Champion. Lilia is just enjoying his time playing with the baby Pokemon while the guards are still alert for any intruders. Silver was resting against Nimbus' fluffy body while Sebek tried to make sure he didn't fall asleep.

When the desserts were fried up and ready to be served, it was glorious. The malasadas are piping hot with Berry syrup on the side for them to use or not and cold Moomoo milkshakes for their consumption. It was delightful to enjoy these treats after they got cleared by the guards once more for poison.

I have the headcanon that Malleus' grandma also deals with extreme heat in their throats due to being draconic fae, so the milkshake was ordered twice over for her, the same for Malleus. Soni made sure to make a whole bunch of ice cream for all of them.

Happiny enjoyed the malasada, nibbling on it as she relaxed with Soni settling down after making the food. The guards are given the chance to sample the food, although they kept their faces stoic as they ate.

I feel like one of the guards would want to fight Soni when she mentions how Malleus didn't want to tell her his name before due to the fear most people have of it, thus calling him Mr. Horns since Soni had no clue of who the heck he was.

M.G (Malleus' Grandma): "Mr.... Horns?"

Soni nods, feeling the glares intensify: "Yep, although I wasn't the one to name him. I actually asked my partner, Grim, for help with the nickname. It was the one distinctive part about him that I could see in the dark when I first met him and he did say that I could call him whatever I wanted. It just stuck ever since."

Malleus is amused by the story and the memory of the first time that she called him that nickname, but one of the guards thinks that it's an insult. Malleus had already told Sebek to not admonish her over her for it since it was given with his permission, and Sebek conceded with that.

Cue a match that is watched by the Diasomnia crew and Briar Valley's ruler as they sipped on milkshakes and ate malasadas on the side.

It wasn't a long fight as Aegis quickly takes down the guard with very little effort, looking incredibly miffed at the insult towards his Trainer before Soni calms Aegis down. The other guards get to fight with Aegis as well. Dinner rolls around by the time it's all finished up. As much as Malleus' grandmother wishes to stick around, she needed to go and have dinner with the other royals.

Lilia offhandedly mentions how delicious Soni's meals were and how she was able to accommodate them, despite showing up in the evening, citing one incident where Sebek and Silver ate so much of her food that they couldn't eat his that day.

Cue sweating from the two mentioned as Soni realizes oop, she gotta cook again.

Just like Farena, Malleus and his grandma pitch in with the expenses and Soni asks them what they want to eat, light or heavy meals, and more. She also makes food for the guards because she kinda felt bad for them, although they seemed to enjoy the sparring with Aegis.

She whips up an assortment of tempura (veggie and shrimp) as well as a salad paired with a light dressing and grilled salmon with a simple teriyaki sauce since M.G. needed to eat for the dinner that evening. Even though the guards were puzzled as to why Soni chose to grill the fish outside, Soni set up an outdoor table for all of them to enjoy their meal under the stars with some Berry juice to enjoy alongside their meals. It was light enough to feel satisfied. Soni gave M.G. the leftover ice cream to enjoy back home at Briar Valley, something that made the old fae smile.

I'm imagining Malleus in the background looking sad because Soni gave him the leftover ice cream, but he said that it'd be a good gift for his grandma to enjoy as well since he could just go over to Ramshackle while he still could. When it was time to go, this scene would most likely take place.

M.G. turns to Soni: "Thank you for taking care of me this evening."

Soni: "It's no problem. Wait, here's the leftover money." *hands it over*

M.G.: "It's fine. You should keep it for all the hard work that you put forward for these meetings."

Soni has flashbacks to her Granny saying that fae don't usually do things without having something else up their sleeve: "...Are you sure? I feel kinda bad if I just keep it."

Malleus: "It's fine. We're both thankfully for your kindness this evening. Not only have you given us a part of your world, you also let the guards experience the power that they wield."

Soni thinks to the guards who looked tired and battered, wondering if they felt the same: "Okay..."

She decided to make backup sweets just in case something happened tomorrow because she was sensing a pattern emerging. With an icebox cake and mini Berry tarts complete with the assistance of the ghosts, she went off to bed.

The next day, Soni has the floor once more, discussing the matters and some of the ways that crime organizations might hide their activity through the use of Pokemon.

This came with a wave of ideas from everyone, giving examples of what crimes with magic committed would be like. They discuss this for a good while as they come up with several prevention plans as well as making laws to ensure that Pokemon and people would be able to live alongside one another in harmony. That latter portion would take a while to implement, but it would be seen through to be established.

Once that had been settled on, Soni was caught by the King of the Coral Sea as well as the Queen of the Queendom of Hearts who heard interesting things from M.G. who offhandedly mentioned how she was good with making food and desserts. M.G. was nearby, nodding her head in agreement before she suggested coming along with them.

Soni sees the growing crowd of people and inwardly just goes, I'm just glad to have made those sweets from the other day.

After telling the guards what was happening to prevent panic (for the third time in three days; rip the guards), they teleported straight into NRC.

Trey & Riddle are there at Ramshackle, both of them inwardly panicking at the sight of the Queen of the Queendom of Roses right beside Soni. Not only her but the King of the Coral Seas as well as the Ruler of Briar Valley!

Trey and Riddle communicating with their eyes at Soni: What on Twisted Wonderland did you do?

Soni remembers how she kept everything quiet and just being blank-faced as possible: IDK they wanted to eat my food and see my Pokemon. What do you want me to do? Say no?

Trey and Riddle are so confused by the lack of context but they just rolled with it because they had royalty before them. Of course, they greeted them accordingly, and I think the Queen knows of Riddle's parents because of canon, so they say their pleasantries before the royals are shown around Ramshackle.

The King of the Coral Sea finds the Pokemon that live in the trees fascinating, especially since they were rather friendly as they came over to greet them. When he sees Mila swimming by the lake, he's enthralled by the graceful aura that she radiates. He immediately goes swimming beside Mila, never invading her space and respecting her enough that she allows him to swim beside her. The guards try their best to bring the man back to the shore, but he was way too far for them to reach, even if they shifted to their merform.

The Queen of the Queendom of Roses finds the fluffy Pokemon to be adorable. If there were Wooloos, the Wooloos love the affection and huddle around her. She also sees Primrose and is so curious about how such a creature could exist as the Pokemon brings the flowers around them to bloom. Nimbus attracts her attention as the cloud bird was sweet enough to brush the ends of her dress that were gathering dirt with its white wings.

Malleus' Grandma gets along with Dior and has been enjoying watching over the others' reactions as it was quite similar to her own while she wandered over the dorm. She had felt like she had stepped into a different world as she wandered around the area filled with Pokemon. The Pokemon that were Fairy type gathered around her and greeted her happily, which made her smile a little at the interaction.

Meanwhile, the three students as well as the guards are setting up a lakeside table for the royals to enjoy their desserts. The teens ask Soni if she has anything prepared and she tells them about the mini Berry tarts as well as the icebox cake, but Soni is unsure that it might be enough. Riddle and Trey help her out with the possible missing desserts. Riddle offers the tea in Heartslabyul for Soni to use.

As the king finishes up with his swimming and turning back into his human form and the Queen of Roses is beginning to feel peckish, Soni managed to cook up some simple egg sandwiches as well as the mini-tarts. The drink served was cold milk tea that had mixed Berry syrup and chopped Berries at the bottom, which was perfect for their current outing as a refreshing drink. Of course, the guards did a taste test for poison, but M.G. didn't wait for them to give their verdict and ate the food.

The King of the Coral Sea asked Soni if she had anything more filling than the egg sandwiches, which were delicious, as he was pretty hungry after swimming. Soni used the pork cutlets from a few days ago and made some tonkatsu sandwiches that all three monarchs ate with content. Soni pointedly ignored when the Queen of Roses swiped the remaining sandwich with fingers so fast they were nothing but a blur, looking as poised and graceful as ever behind her fan.

Out came the desserts with the ice box cake being a part of the show. Thus the royals enjoyed themselves with the sweets until it was dinnertime and they left for the dinner party that evening.

Riddle and Trey just ask Soni what the heck was she doing and how she ended up in this situation and she explains it. They both help her out in making sweets since they all felt like this was only going to happen again. Trey and the three ghosts helped the manual labor aspect with the help of magic while Riddle helped with organizing the ingredients in place with the Alcremies from Heartslabyul helping out in the sweets. Dior helped out immensely with Psychic with the other Pokemon in the dorm helping out as well.

This time, she was prepared.

Simple Alcremie Cream Berry cakes of common Berries like Oran, Pecha, Mago, and even sour Berry cakes to offset the sweet cream from the Alcremie depending on the Alcremie. Honey Cheri Berry tarts were made. They even made a whole bunch of ice cream as M.G. earlier had asked her if she made some that day, despite Soni thinking that M.G. still had the ice cream that she gifted her.

nope, M.G. ate all of it at the evening party with her dessert alkdsjfas

Soni even made side dishes that could be made ahead of time and made a lot of them, just in case there were any other surprise visitors coming along like today. Soni was starting to feel more and more like she was cooking more than she was making discussions. It wasn't great to be put on the spot for this, but at least she was prepared this time around. Soni made sure to give them sweets or pay them back, Riddle and Trey said that if it was for the kings and queens of other countries, it was fine and said good luck.

This day was where they were narrowing down the possible methods that they had proposed the day before from short-term methods like temporary monitoring of activity for companies to more long-term plans like making Trainer IDs for owning Pokemon, which would be handled by a committee that they would have to create as an international one.

Despite the fact the meeting ended with the final preparations to be done tomorrow, there was almost something unspoken in the air. Soni didn't feel right to be the first to leave, so she waited until a majority of the people left. King of Coral Sea, Queen of Roses, the Ruler of Briar Valley, and King Farena of the Afterglow Savannah were still in the room when she did.

Little did she know that they were all talking about who was going to Ramshackle Dorm that day. Unfortunately for them, someone else beat them to the punch.

Soni immediately used Teleport straight into Ramshackle and found Jamil at her dorm, looking like he pitied her.

Soni: "Is it someone who wants to come and see me?"

Jamil: "Yes. Kalim's bringing them inside as we speak."

Turns out the Ruler of the Scalding Sands overheard from the King of the Coral Sea as well as the Queen of Roses about their excursion to Ramshackle and the lovely time that they spent there.

Feeling left out, he wanted to enjoy the Pokemon that he's heard so much about over the past few days. So the Ruler of the Scalding Sands and his wife had come to visit, which sent Soni into a state of "Welp, this is happening."

The couple was very warm and accommodating, similar to Kalim's sunny demeanor. Every time a Pokemon popped up from somewhere, they would both go into a wide-eyed state and point it out, which led to Soni giving a short description of the Pokemon as they oohed and ahhed over it. Kalim and Jamil, along with the guards and servants that were brought along, kept up with them.

Then came Swanna.

The wife was in amazement over the beautiful bird, but Soni said that Swanna was the more temperamental of the Pokemon and that they couldn't approach it unless Swanna did so first. Surprisingly, the White Bird Pokemon did so, very curious about what these other humans were doing around the lake.

The wife found Swanna to be beautiful and told it so, making the Pokemon puff up in pride. After getting those compliments and spending time being cooed over, Swanna got tired and retreated back onto the lake.

Then Kalim brought up the possibility of going on a Pokemon for some flying around. He went into detail about his flight with Soni and how different it was, compared to the carpet and brooms.

That made Jamil and the guards go, "Why would you bring that up?" while the couple was instantly attracted to the idea because that was something that was from the legends of the Magic Carpet in the age of the Sorcerer of the Dessert.

In the end, Kalim brought out his magic carpet with Jamil while the guards were riding on broomsticks in case something went wrong. Soni was on the back of Charlie who could catch them if something went wrong while the couple was on the back of Nimbus, wearing safety gear and multiple rigs in order to keep them safe.

As they soared into the sky, she could see some of the students on campus looking up at them like they couldn't believe what they were seeing. Soni was sure that Deuce saw her as she saw someone stumbling on the ground with a familiar dot of pink beside him. As the sun began to set, Soni could hear the couple singing the praises of the Pokemon that allowed them to see the sight before them and how wonderful it was to experience this sort of thing.

When they asked about the food after the flight they had, the servants wanted to prepare the meal, but the couple trusted Soni to make it. They had the condition of making a dish that she enjoyed for them to get the full experience. Soni told them that her foods weren't really the full food repertoire of her region, but this specific dish was her favorite since it was simple, filling, and delicious while having flavor.

She made them Spicy and Sour Clauncher and Vegetable Stew with some Pecha Berry milk tea on the side with syrup on the sides for more color. One of the servants had given her the package when she asked for help on getting some tea brewed. With the help of Jamil, she got the food served to them.

There's a part of me that sees this as an opportunity for some drama as the tea that had been used was poisoned, but because of the Pecha Berry, that poison had been negated entirely.

Primrose had found that out as she pointed it out due to her Poison typing sensing the familiar spike of poison in the drink. After finding the criminal trying to escape, the Cottonee that were hiding in the trees released Stun Spore to keep them in place. The Scalding Sands ruler was furious that someone would try to poison them but was very thankful for the Pecha Berries that saved their lives as well as the Pokemon who helped them with the criminal in question.

Soni decided to notify the Headmaster of the incident who would update the guards on the situation to tighten security and background checks on everyone who came and left the building. She also gave the couple some Pecha Berries to use should something like this ever happen again. She told them how to grow them and gave some notes on it to them and they thanked her for her service.

When the last and final day of the meeting was upon them, everyone had been notified of the incident and things were tense. Everyone had the first laws put down at that table with plans set in motion to prevent things like this from happening again.

I see this incident where someone tried to frame Soni (as a scapegoat) on the neutral territory for poisoning the two royals, only furthered by crime happening at the Night Raven College where it was supposed to be safe. Thankfully, because of how swiftly everyone reacted as well as the countermeasures (like the Pecha berries), no one was hurt. From what the criminal said, it was to get rid of the person who made a mess of their plans AKA Soni.

This meant the danger with crime organizations and criminal use of Pokemon was very real. Even with that hanging over them, they made sure to solidify their plans, the to-be-made laws, the short and long term goals, and the future committee to be formed as the International Pokemon Protection Agency with smaller branches spread out throughout the world.

With that said and done, the meetings were over. Just as Soni was beginning to leave, she was stopped by the call of the kings, queens, and rulers that she'd met over the past few days as well as the few that hadn't introduced themselves yet to her.

Turns out that they all wanted to hold their meal at Ramshackle Dorm because, despite the incident, they'd never felt safer with the Pokemon doing their best to protect them from the sidelines as well as Soni making sure that they were well accommodated during their time there.

Soni remembered the sweets that she made two days prior as well as the side dishes that she prepared. She realized that she needed more and that was honestly going to be a pain in the butt, but she called in her reinforcements in the form of the Heartslabyul Crew for desserts. Ace and Deuce were annoyed by the fact that she'd been doing this for the last few days and didn't tell them, but also just amazed by it too. Grim was in detention for "accidentally" sleeping in class again.

Getting the poor cook that was honestly confused by the sudden change in the menu, the meal was set near the lake around the center of everything on Ramshackle grounds. It was in an open space with plenty of sunlight and there was shade provided by the Berry trees, along with some guards bringing some large umbrellas.

Cheka had been bouncing off the walls at the fact that he got to hang out with her again so soon, so he just stuck to her like glue as she did her work. Farena told him to be a little less energetic, but Soni found it fine as Cheka just oohed and ahhed over what was going on.

Little Cheka wasn't the only person that was enamored by the whole thing.

The Queen of Roses showed off the Grass types who diligently worked near the Berry fields as well as the fluffy Pokemon who were curious enough to come over and were petted. Nimbus had been keeping up with the Queen of Roses, gently dusting off her dress at times before pulling back.

The King of the Coral Sea raced with Mila who found herself competitive while the others greeted the numerous Water types that lived in the lake as well. He also found the Fighting type that Soni had to be quite the fighter as someone had decided to spar against it in hand-to-hand combat. The one that she called Aegis had also fought against the Diasomnia guards and it was spectacular swordsmanship from a sword being.

Farena was enjoying his time at the dorm, sinking into the fluffy Cottonee and Wooloo that wandered up to him. He could sense a feeling of irony at the fact little sheep were cozying up to a lion beastman like him, but he found it too comfortable to really think much else of it. He might stop by later to Savanaclaw, but he was sure that Leona wouldn't welcome him at all.

The ruler of Briar Valley herself was the same as she was with Dior once more in the shade of the Berry trees. Even though there had been a close encounter on these very grounds, due to the plans put in place, the damage had been minimal. Although it was not good to completely disregard the incident, morale would've been low in making this plan work. By seeing the positivity and goodness that these mysterious creatures could bring, only then would they be able to progress further.

Even though it'd been yesterday, it was like coming to a wonderland as the ruler of the Scalding Sands walked around the flowers of Ramshackle with his wife. The small Grass type Pokemon called Cottonee greeted them both with a cheer before floating away. In his mind, those two had helped in capturing the criminal. He'll definitely donate money to the repairs of Ramshackle Dorm for all that had happened, especially with the fact that Soni had saved the both of them from a terrible fate and had done so without even really knowing it existed. She'd almost been framed for it as well. For there to be Pokemon to be useful in those situations, he was very glad to know they're here now!

As the tables were set up, the meal was to be made. If I had to describe it, it's basically the set-up of a Korean BBQ.

It wasn't anything fancy with set-up meals and such, but BBQ on a nice sunny day was enjoyable. Using the side dishes and putting it onto the bowls that had been brought over from the dining room from the Hall of Justice, the conversation flowed as everyone enjoyed the smell of BBQ being made. Soni went around the tables, describing what the side dishes were, and saw the revelations of taste that came across people's faces at the different combinations that she'd showed them.

Cooked rice bowls, Spicy & Sour Clauncher and Vegetable Stew were sent to the tables, and more were given out. The Heartslabyul students were exhausted from running around trying to keep up with everything but finally enjoyed themselves as they ate. Soni was sitting with them as well, relaxing after all the stuff that had been going on for the past few days. Showing them how to eat the BBQ with the lettuce leaves and a mixture of the side dishes, everyone else around them did so as well.

Cheka was by his dad's side, stuffing his face with BBQ. Although he didn't like veggies, these ones were tasty. Farena now has a way to get his son to eat veggies, thanks Soni👍

When the desserts came out, it was a wonderful end to the whole meeting session. The sweetness of the Berry cakes with cream was a huge hit as well as their sour counterparts.

Honey Cheri Tarts were devoured by Ace who nearly choked on one. Soni handed him a glass of water that he gulped down.

Ace: "I can't believe that you managed to do something like this. How the heck did it happen?"

Soni just shrugs: "I don't know. It just happened."

Deuce handles Happiny who sits in his lap as she's fed little bits of BBQ and sweets. "I'm pretty sure something like this doesn't just happen randomly."

The King of the Coral Sea had asked someone to buy some alcohol for the BQQ and was very satisfied with everything that was served after that. The Stew was his favorite while the Cheri Berry Tarts were delicious. The Queen of Roses was elegant, but she was quick to pick up the meat and seemed to be enjoying the different tastes presented to her. The parfait was her favorite. The Scalding Sands ruler and his wife loved the whole thing, enjoying the different flavors of the BBQ as well as the variety of things that they could eat by mixing and matching. They loved the Alcremie Cream Cakes, the sweet ones, as it helped with the spiciness of the Spicy & Sour Clauncher and Vegetable Stew.

Malleus' grandma was in bliss as she drank her milkshake, although that did not show on her face as she was poised in doing so. At the discovery that there was ice cream, the other royals had asked for some ice cream too with their desserts. M.G. was doing her best not to crumble at the idea of having no ice cream to take home laksdjlfkaj

At the end of the meeting, everything drew to a close and thus the beginning of a new era began to rise over the horizon.

[whysojiminimnida]

We all know the kpop industry treats it's idols poorly . Yes, that's a broad brush statement, but we could back it up with receipts if pressed. Fans are led to believe the idols live celibate, single lives with no relationships outside of their team or family. In order to keep that trope alive, any idol who tries to have a normal love life, is often fired. Here's proof: https://www.newsweek.com/hyuna-dawn-fans-convinced-couple-confirm-engagement-kpop-1675835

I wonder if BigHit would do the same to one of BTS. A good many fans assume at least some of the members have romances / significant others, but trying to hide that must be quite a strain on the boys. And, imo, being that s.o. would be stressful, knowing that if you are found out, you would have a massive target on your back.

Hiya @towardtheblue!

I'm slow but I do get to things, I promise. And OMG Cube Entertainment was SO DUMB when they fired HyunA in October of 2018. Like, what did they think was gonna happen, she and Dawn would break up and fade into obscurity?

Also they fired HER and not HIM which: fuck those people. Dawn felt the same way and left Cube a month later, after which they just Gangnam-styled right over to P Nation, Psy's label. They're still working, still popular, and now we have this...

OKAY THAT IS DARLING AND

They are apparently engaged, if not one but two matching rings and at least one matching tattoo I've seen are anything to go by. And good for them. In the West we think we're maybe a bit better about letting people live. We've been taught and expect that famous people have relationships which do not involve us (unless you're One Direction, that was super weird and I think STILL IS for some insane Larry shippers, I never skated on that side of the insanity rink so IDK). We seem to be handling Heterosexual Jikook okay now that they've been outed AGAINST THEIR WILL though. So IDK, maybe we don't handle things all that well over here either.

If Zendaya is the Jungkook in that household then Jimin is the real Spider-Man, I'm just saying.

BUT I DIGRESS. You were talking about BTS and BigHit. Who, to our knowledge and based on things they have said, do not have a no-dating clause in their contract. Fact is, we don't know exactly what IS in their contracts, all of which were renewed in 2018 with various lawyers for individuals and the company in attendance. We have ideas based on things the members have said.

No drunken social media or VLives (LOL), no smoking/vaping on camera, no traveling without letting someone know type stuff. I know that some groups have a no PUBLIC dating clause with BigHit. But we don't know for sure what BTS agreed to do or what Bang PD asked for where that's concerned. THIS LINK IS NOT A LEGIT INFORMATION SOURCE. It is badly written speculation, and that is the most we actually have other than the words of the guys or Bang PD themselves. All media about the contract terms reads about like this:

The ONLY reason I posted this is to show that we DO NOT have the terms of their contracts. They have not been made public. We're not even sure whether they extend through 2026 or are over in 2024.

Now K-pop history tells us that the Big Three do fire idols for breach of contract. I'm not even sure BTS IS fireable at this point in their careers. Seriously what is Bang PD gonna do, force them to disband? AW HELL NO that is not happening to the biggest band in the world.

BUT. What we also know is that the fandom simply CANNOT HANDLE IT when any of the members, especially the maknae line, BREATHE in someone's direction.

(Yes yes we still hate Koreaboo but you led me here so here we go)

Edits, edits everywhere

We've seen the hate that Nain got because Jungkook dared to like a dance video and tell her so. We've all been made forcibly aware of the "BTS IS STR8"agenda. We have seen TKKers and the lies, mistranslations and outright bullying that goes on in that segment of the fandom despite what the members themselves have OPENLY SAID. I honestly think it will be after military service or exemption and possibly after disbandment before any BTS member comes out with any romantic relationship, regardless of who it's with. And I don't blame them.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

The double standards in this fandom are INSANE. People are praising Taehyung left and right for being “iconic” at that after party while they were disrespecting Jimin and calling him every name in the book for going to a party in Paris and Jungkook as well for hanging out with his female tattoo artist and army have the guts to say “it was in 2019 now we have a much more positive voice”. Positive voice where ? This fandom has become even more unhinged since the pandemic started.

- The double standards of this fandom. Like I’m happy armys are chill about tae being at a club but I’m salty and upset bc when jimin did armys turned their back on him. I legit saw someone say the reason they hate jimin is bc of that moment? I wasn’t here when it happened but I heard it was hell. But why tf did jimin get so much hate for having fun just like tae was? They always say tae gets the most hate but nah this fandom sided with him more

---

I guess people had a thought or two about double standards these past weeks 😅

It's a bit hard for me to try and think about how I felt in 2019, which is why it's taken me so long to answer this. It was really stressful and frustrating but it's been a while since I've just given up and accepted that's how it'll be. I don't get riled up about these things like I used to.

First, the easiest statement to deny: Taehyung never was, never is and probably never will be the one who gets the most hate. He doesn't get hate at all. Period. His fans think me saying he likes pussy is hate. Just go figure.

Even jikookers turned against Jimin during the three days (THREE DAYS 😭) he was in Paris because they thought he wouldn't be with JK for Jungkook's birthday. There was some Korean Jikooker (one who posted a photo of Jimin at the airport when coming from or going to Russia) who later said Jungkook was hanging out with mijoo because Jimin had been travelling. Did she think they were together and Jungkook couldn't keep his dick in his pants for a week or what? Make it make sense.

I want to point out a slight difference. We had almost real time "news" of Jimin. Let's say he arrived in Paris on a Tuesday, pictures of him were tweeted on Wednesday. And so on. This happened when he was in Vladivostok too, pictures and videos were posted almost inmediately after being taken. The only place where he actually wasn't seen a lot was Hawaii. Meanwhile with JK, it was all past events. The CCTV photo, the tattoos, we all found out about that a couple of weeks after they had actually happened.

I can't explain why but yes, there is a difference in reacting to real-time developments vs. reacting to "old" news. Personally, because it was real time and I actually saw the situation escalating from one minute to another, the way people reacted to Jimin in Paris was worse for me. It felt like a snowball getting bigger and bigger for absolutely no reason.

Now that I think about it, I think I literally blocked out of my mind what people were saying about Jungkook those days 😭😭😭😭 #darktimes it feels quite close to a literal trauma ngl. I remember thinking about him and everything, so much.. so so much my head hurt. My friends and I would talk on the phone trying to put together a timeline and connect the dots and try to discover if we were being lied to or what actually happened. I'm also pretty sure another reason I don't remember much is because I stalked a lot of japanese and Korean Twitter accounts, because they were posting lots of photos and tidbits of "info", some of it made sense and some were a stretch. But of course I didn't exactly understood what they were saying, so maybe that's why I don't remember much of what people said about Jungkook. It just wasn't in my language. People from my region were sooooo incredibly okay with the whole thing btw, they kept making jokes about it, they really took it so well. I don't remember seeing a lot of negativity in my language. So yeah, the backlash I saw was mostly from Japanese/Korean speaking antis because those were the accounts I was checking. I honestly didn't look or see tweets in english talking about it.

In hindsight, I wonder if there was so much mess because it was BTS first "break". So people were curious about where were they, who were they with, what were they doing. It still doesn't justify the way they tried to control Jimin.

Jikookers tho, masters at deflection, just stayed quiet and acted like nothing had happened.

And I guess that was another element to the whole thing: shippers. Why would Jimin go travel across the world without his partner. Why would Jimin hang out with random girls at a bar if he has a boyfriend. Why would Jungkook hug a woman if he's in a relationship with a different person. Why, why, why. Even if Namjoon had the same amount of fans Jimin and Jungkook have, the fact that he's not in any ship like that would've "protected" him from having his every move so scrutinized.

For Jungkook, the way I experienced the whole thing, it was a clash between the idea people had of Jungkook, and the real life Jungkook. Think of 2018 - early 2019 up until even June, the personification of baby star candy and the contrast with September 2019 Jungkook. The tattoos, the people he hung out with, the "type" of girl (!!!!!!!) he was hugging and rumoured to be dating. It was a lot. It's not surprising that he got the most backlash from Japanese and Korean people, even his own fans. I have two friends, both are Jungkook biased jikookers, we weren't surprised about the tattoos, we knew he was to get them one day; but I remember both of them saying stuff like "I would've never imagined he would date someone like her what happened to IU?!?!?" but I promise none of it was said or thought in a bad way, we were all just seeing a "new side" of him.

And then, probably (in my opinion) the most damaging misconception, the thing that really backfired against him, was that he was so casual about skinship with a woman when, according to the fandom, he was always terrified and disgusted of girls!!!!!!!!

As for Jimin, I think the fandom (international, at least) has this weird idea of him being a manwhore or whatever the word is, so that was also a factor in the whole thing. They thought he possibly couldn't be in a different country unless he was looking for people to have sex with or up to something shady. I know, he's irresistible. It was almost as if people were actively looking for reasons to "cancel" Jimin. Again; if people had this misconceptions of Namjoon, he probably also would've been scrutinized and people would've tried to prove he's a certain way like, "see what he's doing, i knew there was something shady about him."

Now with Taehyung, first of all, yes, the fandom is extremely different. Many of the people who were here in 2019 have left the fandom and the rest, we already know better. Secondly, I don't see many preconceived ideas of Taehyung that would make the fandom react in any of those two ways they reacted with Jimin and Jungkook.

They think he's queer, he was at a "queer" party ☑️

We all knew he's interested in fashion, he went to a fashion event ☑️

His friendship with Bogum was of public knowledge ☑️

Even him not waving or smiling to the fans was celebrated because the fandom already associates this "savage" and idgaf personality with him. ☑️

So pretty much all the boxes were ticked. It all checked out and that's why nobody had anything bad to say about him and why nobody cared.

If it had been Jimin, of course he was at a party with naked women. He probably went back to the hotel with all of them and they had sex while drugged.

If it had been Jungkook, no, you probably confused him with someone else, he wouldn't be at a party with girls, much less naked ones. Boobs are gross to him.

Once again, it also goes to show who's running the narratives in the fandom. Jimin went to a bar almost four years ago and the story has been so twisted and changed, it turned into him picking up minors, paying escorts, doing cocaine, who knows what else. I can't believe they're still lying about it to this day.

Anyways, I'm really tired of Taehyung stans. They don't have a moment of peace in their hearts. The way they just act as if Taehyung doesn't chain smoke even while being on schedules, but God forbid Jimin ever gets drunk in his free time. Let's not even get into how nicotine IS a drug, so by their own rules I should be allowed to call Taehyung a drug addict. He most likely smokes weed, too. Reality checks are already all lined up and up and coming for them, I'm afraid.

[spellcasterlight]

Hi! i dont know if you already answered it, but i've been thinking of writing for shikahina but i sincerely have no idea how to characterize shikamaru, could you give me any tips?

Hi there Zesty Zebra Shark Anon!

Eppp! The [Shikamaru x Hinata] Fandom growssss! 😁

I'm going to level with you. I question myself every time I write Shikamaru. It's not even funny. I legit worry about it so much, but I'll write down a couple of things that I try to keep in mind when writing him in absolutely no order and hope they are helpful! ❤️

Under the cut simply for length.

Can't wait to see what you come up with!

Thank you for the sweet ask! ✨

Use his catchphrase, it's his after all, but sparingly: I tend to use it when he's feeling some kind of heightened emotion upset, pissed off, angry, whatever. I have read stories where he says it like every other sentence, and it just really feels very forced, so yes, I use it, but I try not to milk it 😂

He thinks things through - he's not just going to start yelling when slightly annoyed: This might seem obvious but, if I were writing Kiba or Naruto in the same scenario, their first reaction would be to punch and yell up a storm for me, Shikamaru, in most situations, isn't going to do that most likely. He's going to hold back and think about what happened, what it meant etc

This is good to bring in a scene about seeing how he feels about Hinata or something else. Nothing like a good "oh damn" moment when he's by himself on a hill. 😂

Adores Mirai: If you're writing [Shikamaru x Hinata], use the fact that their Godparents to Mirai! I use it a lot because, for me, it's a critical point in the [Shikamaru x Hinata] relationship storyline. It’s when they start properly interacting, trusting one another, long nights just the two of them, spending time together, having in jokes, opening up to each other etc. 

Just a touch of sarcasm: He's not a robot. He shows emotion. To me, he's got a little bit of a sarcastic streak. I say this because, again, I have read stories where he doesn't smile, doesn't smirk, doesn’t snort in laughter and to me that's not quite right. 

He doesn't actually like smoking: He started smoking when Asuma died but stopped quickly. He didn't like it. So I have him smoke in times of like extreme stress as an extra show of that stress. I, personally, would never have him light up just because he fancied one.

When he snaps, he snaps: You know that saying of "beware the anger of a nice person" or whatever it is? 😂

Again, someone like Kiba would bark one line he would regret before storming off. With Shikamaru, I would have it when if he crosses that line of if he starts yelling and uploading on the other person because he’s pushed so far he snaps then he goes the full way. 

A full rant, yelling everything he’s thinking that kind of thing. 

He'll complain, but he'll do it: If he's told to do something (a mission, a chore etc.), he will do it. He is a highly trustworthy person, so I would never have him forget or ignore something asked of him. I'm still going to have his grumble and put up a fuss, though 😆

Also; on things that matter he’s opinionated the little things he’s gonna let whoever it is work away.

How to carry out a mission? Opinionated.

What colour to paint the living room? Whatever they want.

He trusts his friends/partner: Shikamaru would believe in letting them fight their fights. Whether political, emotional or physical, he will step in if they ask for help or if he see’s they're at their limit. If Hinata is fighting someone one-on-one? I will have him hold back slightly, if it's Hinata vs seventeen people? Then he would jump in without hesitation.

Show more than telling: If I have a scene where he's showing someone he cares, I would rather have him do something with a wrap-up couple of statements rather than say a big speech.

Maybe have him bring Hinata, or whoever, something to eat, let them rant to him to get it off their chest, somehow show them the progress they've made in their career. Something like that. 

That's all I can think of right now. I might add to this later if I think of anything else, but this is all just me rambling again. If you read one of my points and think, "I don't think that's right", that's good! It means you're coming into your characterisation, and you should most definitely run with that! 😊

[askjerrydandridge]

Rhis is probably a weird question, and I'm not even sure how to put it into words correctly, but all in all it sounds like "Does Jerry have a sexual attraction at all?". Part of it has to do with Colin Farrell's words from an interview where he seems to say that he didn't really like that Jerry was made a "sexual predator". And I still don't fully understand this phrase, because if there is no doubt that Jerry is a predator, what exactly does "sexual" mean since he basically hunts for blood for survival. I remember the moment from the film where he grinned while watching a TV-show (sorry, I'm not from an English-speaking country, so I didn't recognize what it was specifically). Obviously he was not watching it for the plot. I understand that a significant part of Jerry's character is based on sexual appeal, but is it Jerry's own interest? Maybe I demonize him too much, but it seemed to me, while watching the movie, that he was a monster in а literal sense, and that he didn't care about sex or love (especially). But then there was this moment with the TV-show and that phrase from the interview and I got confused so I want to know what do you think😅

(I apologize for the meaningless mumbling, and if this is an inappropriate question)

(( THIS is a very interesting question anon. I thank you for bringing such a jUICY TOPIC FOR ME TO SINK MY TEETH INTO 👏👏 HERE WE GOOOO

okay, so. Yes! I have heard of this interview before. Or at least read an article on it at some point, so I have been made aware of this little tidbit of information.

Now, the statement itself confused me too. A sexual predator. I'll try my best to decipher the message that Colin was getting across to the best of my ability. At least, from how I see it.

I will begin with my speculations.

Okay so, the first thing that came to my mind was sexual attraction/allure to bring in prey. Like you said, that was apart of his character. The confusing thing is, that most vampires do this. It is a very good strategy that works better than trying to talk a stranger into letting them EAT you. So it clearly isn't an unknown form of method. This point is brought across when he was trying to bring in that other woman in the neighborhood by convincing her to come over for some beers. Well, we know what assisted him in doing that. I don't think this may have been what Colin was suggesting because there would have been no other way to bring in victims without looking highly suspicious--he kind of already does but that is besides the point. So I am striking this down as an option.

Funny thing is, you bring up a good point with the reality TV show. ( Legit I saw him smiling at that and I just about lost my shit laughing ) I am gonna assume it is a Keeping Up With The Kardashians based show or something like that--I come from Canada so I have never seen the show or give a single shit about them--NOW, as I was saying, that scene is almost left up to interpretation kind of. The clip that is playing on the television itself appears to be--i am speaking from memory because I will be honest and say it has been a while since I saw the film--the woman picking out a proper breast size for a top/dress or something like that. There are multiple ways to take this, first being uh HE SEES BOOBY OF COURSE HE IS PLEASED. The second being reality television is garbage--I am just stating the facts--and that Jerry is sneering at how humans are putting so much care into material wealth and beauty, you cannot these things into the afterlife, so it amuses him and that is why he was smiling at it. The third option is that he is still learning modern human behavior. This might be the least likely of three mostly because of Jerry's closet. This man has countless outfits from past professions he was involved in. He OBVIOUSLY is capable of adapting if he has got away this long with it. I don't think he was taking a long vampire nap in that amount of time, and it shows. So option three is there, but unlikely. To wrap this section up and choosing an option..

I am straight up gonna say option one, I like giving this movie the benefit of the doubt as much as I can. It still has it's flaws, and I understand that you can't include a huge amount of detail in your average film length. But, we are gonna say that the film directors were close minded about this. Why not get a little boob in the film when you have a chance? Due to the type of film that this is, I can tell that they slipped this in just because they had the time. They wanted to show Jerry as a sexual predator. Sexual appeal works better if you can make your audience believe in it further. Why not make the character sexually interested in others? Boom, you have the audience swooning. It has been done in films before, plenty. It is a common practice. I think this is the problem that Colin had with his creative differences of the character. He wanted Jerry to have more depth than "I EAT, I FUCK, I SLEEP" which makes sense! The character becomes your baby after you nurse your skills into playing the part. He wanted Jerry to be more complex, and you can see that in interviews speaking about Fright Night with him, he wanted more of this. Now, you make a great point anon. The movie is interrupting in it's own beliefs. Jerry didn't seem interested in love or sex. Yet! We get these scenes. I feel this is more on the sexual level, yet the point still stands. He didn't want Jerry to be just a monster, though he didn't want him caring over such mortal emotions. Colin himself said the part was hard to play because Jerry had no human soul, he had no mortality. No care for life. That is the opposite of who Colin is as a person, it shows how much work he put into becoming the character. Which he did splendidly with the script he had to work with.

Another bit that links into this, is that Colin had a conversation about a specific scene that was cut from the film. In the part where Jerry speaks to Amy at the club, he speaks to her in a small Latin monologue. THIS CREATES DEPTH AND SO MUCH KDKDDLLD FOR HIS CHARACTER. Then it was cut from the film! Another reason why I believe they didn't look too deep into Jerry's character. He is an ancient beast, of course he would speak the devil's language.

In conclusion, to finally answer your lovely question, there was a gap between the director and Colin's wishes. Colin wanted Jerry to have more depth, more than basic animal habits. The fact that Ed in the film stated him as "A shark, like in Jaws. He just devours." That is an understatement. Deep down, he is a complex creature. Sure, not complex enough to feel love.--THAT IS BY CHOICE! Clearly he knows what it is, just doesn't have a care for it. So, that is it!

(( Also, this totally isn't an inappropriate question. It is a valid question that I love to answer! Legit I eat this shit up for breakfast and again, I love analysing. My own interpretation is a mix of what I believe to be the most accurate--while respecting Colin's wishes for what HE wanted for the character too. After all, he MADE the part of the remake. He was one of the best, if not THE best parts of the movie. His acting skills are absolutely underrated and I want more people to appreciate his details as well. He tried his best for the movie, not everything came through. Sadly. We don't have all of that content, that is why I made this blog. For fans of a film that didn't do so well, yet has absolute gold pieces inside. --I'm not perfect, I know that. I believe the only way Jerry could feel these things is through character development and a shit ton of writing. Such as with @claredeadbydaylight AND YES I AM CALLING YOU OUT, WE HAVE SO MANY REBLOGS. Now, I don't want anybody to expect Jerry to just fall in love with anybody. That is super unrealistic. Development and a lot of thinking on my end is how it MAY get to that point. I am very picky with how I play Jerry, just because I want to interpret him in a specific way.

Thank you so much for asking this question, sorry for the MASSIVE FUCKING ESSAY I gave you, but that is just who I am. :)))

~~

P.S I have found footage of the Latin scene that was cut from the film, which I will post on this blog along with the timestamp so curious people can check it out for themselves.

[bngtanah]

I'm (not) With The Band. | Prologue

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: Min Yoongi  x Named OC

genre: drama, romance, smut

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: light angst, smut, fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual themes, ambw, enemies to friends to lovers, developing relationship

a/n: still a fool. still re-uploading.

"It's good money, Adrienne."

Adrienne rolled her eyes quickly underneath her eyelids and switched her attention away from the woman sitting next to her.

"I get that but there is no way I'm moving to Korea, I can't even find Korea on a map!"

Adrienne and her older sister had been having this roundabout conversation for at least an hour and a half with no end in sight since neither side seemed interested in giving in.

"So what are you going to do? Just stick around here and make amazing songs for shitty rappers and musicians that don't wanna pay you?" Danielle's voice was monotone and completely lacking any tangible emotion but Adrienne could understand that this was her sister's way of trying to appeal to her common sense. "An opportunity like this doesn't knock twice, little one."

Adrienne bit back a witty remark because despite how much she didn't want to admit it she knew that her sister was right. She was barely making ends meet with the seedy pool of customers she had now and the select few that actually paid her on time only wanted to shell out pennies for what Adrienne considered high-quality work. There were times over the past few months when the money wasn't coming in and reactions from her clientele had her seriously doubting her talent that Adrienne genuinely regretted not going to college. There was no a guarantee that she would have been any better off than she was now but the constant 'what if' always made her second guess her choices when things weren't going her way. Her life now wasn't perfect but it was comfortable, she rented an efficiency from one of her sister's friends and worked a few odd jobs here and there to keep up with the bills. It was a simple life that she enjoyed and Adrienne wasn't so sure she had the courage to give it up.

"Alright, let's say I go for it" Adrienne stated in a softer voice.

"What happens if I can't keep up or they hate all my songs or they hate me? I wouldn't be able to come back here as a failure and honestly, Dani I don't know if I have what it takes to do this." Her voice wavered with raw insecurity as she nervously she began pulling on the ends of one of her long braids.

If Adrienne was being honest with herself, her own self-doubts were the main obstacle holding her back from just accepting this job. She was reasonably excited about the thought of moving to a different country and Danielle; who was married and expecting a child of her own, was the only family she had left. It was time for her to stop depending on her for so much and start carving out her own place in the world.

"Do you really think they would have contacted you if they didn't think you were more than good enough?"

"To be honest, I don't know why they reached out to me in the first place. All the music on my SoundCloud is in English and I've never heard of this company before they emailed me."

"Because it's good, dumb-dumb!" Danielle exclaimed while tugging on one of her sister's braids. "What's the name of these people again, you know I have to google," She asked with her phone already in hand.

"BigHit, I already looked them up. It's legit"

Danielle nodded but dismissed Adrienne's statement with a flick of her wrist, she needed to research everything for herself if she was going to send her baby sister off to some strange company for a job that may not even be real.

"Seriously, Dani I've looked it up they are an actual music company" Adrienne leaned forward to snatch the phone out of her hands, "They told me that if I decide to work with them I'd be working with a boyband called BTS."

"Boyband? Those still exist?"

"Yes! I was so confused at first but they're the real deal...which is another reason I don't want to go. I've been researching their songs from last year and the year before that and I don't know who's doing their music now but it's really good. Here, listen to this-"

Adrienne tossed her sister's phone back onto the couch and pulled her laptop off the coffee table and onto her lap, "It's all in Korean so ignore the words and just pay attention to the melody like I did" she informed as she pulled up 'Let Me Know', one of the recent tracks she'd been replaying.

Her eyes fell closed gently once she hit play and the first note rang out and Adrienne allowed herself to become lost in the music once again, she couldn't understand the lyrics but even without knowing the language Adrienne knew too well the feeling of heartache and desperation this song was meant to make you feel. That was always something she appreciated about music, no matter where you were from or how old you were a good song could bring people together in ways that words often couldn't. To Adrienne music truly was a universal language.

Once the song finished Adrienne put her laptop aside and looked up at her sister with a childlike stare, anticipating her reaction. "What? It's pretty" Danielle responded and Adrienne's shoulders immediately slumped downward.

"Pretty? Is that all you have to say?" 

"Yup. That's my review, it is a pretty song." 

"You sicken me, do you know that? If you weren't carrying my niece we would be pillow fighting right now." Adrienne grumbled and leaned down to pressed a kiss to Danielle's rounded tummy. She wasn't big yet but she was definitely beginning to show. 

"I keep telling you not to get your hopes up, Lloyd's siblings are all boys."

Adrienne pursed her lips and ignored Danielle then whispered to her stomach. "Shhh, I can tell you're a girl." 

"Stop talking to my fetus and get back up here, I'm not joking with you Andy I really think you should go for this job"

Adrienne bit the inside of cheek and slumped back against the cushions, she was silent for a few minutes as she tried to collect her thoughts and recall all the points that were made in their previous conversation.

"How am I supposed to fly half way around the world and tell these people that I can make better music than what they have now?"

Danielle sighed, her fingertips grazing over Adrienne's shoulder to gain her attention before pulling her into her arms to hug her and rest her chin against the top of Adrienne's head. 

"Do you think you're talented?"

"Yes....but-"

"Butts are for ashtrays, Adrienne. You are talented and that's the end of it, when you worry too much about comparing yourself to other people then you start in with the doubts. You didn't go to them they came to you, that wouldn't have happened if they didn't know that you were more than qualified for this." 

"I don't want to leave you."

"Oh little one," Danielle cooed and kissed Adrienne's scalp, threading her fingers through the younger girls braids, "I am going to be fine, I have Lloyd! And you're going to be making so many new friends you won't even have time to miss me."

Adrienne sniffed and wrapped her arms around her sister in a tighter hold, "You better not have this kid until I can come back and visit" She replied through the few tears that were falling from the brim of her eyes.

"Does that mean you're going?"

"I guess I'm moving to Korea."

"This isn't a joke, right? There aren't any hidden cameras, you're really going to let me do this?"

The excitement in Yoongi's voice was as foreign and authentic as the short happy dance he did in the middle of Bang Si-Hyuk's office before he caught hold of himself and regained his cool composure. 

"Yes I'm being serious" Si-Hyuk answered with a tiny grin "You've been showing a lot of improvement lately and I think you should take the lead on producing the group's next release."

Pale pink lips spread into a wide and almost child-like grin, those were words that Yoongi never thought he would hear. He always appreciated being able to contribute a song or two to their albums but to have the control and relative creative freedom over an entire body of work for his group was a professional goal that he never thought possible so early in his career. It really was too good to be true.

"Of course..." Si-Hyuk spoke up again and Yoongi came crashing back down to reality. 

"With your schedules and other responsibilities, it wouldn't be ideal to leave all the work on your shoulders alone."

"I assumed the producers here would be assisting me"

"Most of them are busy with other projects, we've decided to contract someone from the outside to co-produce along with you."

Yoongi nodded and leaned back in his seat, pressing his index finger against his lips in thought and to prevent himself from speaking out of turn. He didn't like this idea one bit and the previous feeling of excitement he had was dulled significantly by the thought of having to collaborate with someone he didn't even know. He wanted to speak up, voice his opposition before he was saddled with the dead weight of a co-producer who probably had no idea what they were doing. But he knew it wasn't his place to say no to a plan that was already in motion and he didn't want to jeopardize the opportunity he was being granted. 

"Okay, when do we start?"

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                                                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]