#I'm too extra sometimes
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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this isn't intended to be a judgment on anyone in particular, but I'm surprised on how few people in the cccc fandom write image descriptions for their art considering the existence of a character who would realistically need to use them {whether you interpret heart as low vision or light sensitive or fully blind} it's just kind of ironic how the characters in the media couldn't even access the content made for it
anyways, if you have the ability to write image descriptions for your work, I highly recommend doing it! it's pretty easy once you get the hang of it :-)
#maybe it's because i'm used to it in podcast fandoms? it seems more prominent in audio only fandoms like podcasts#which makes it extra weird cccc doesn't have that since it's an album? with visuals in the videos but still#again this isn't a callout or anything i'm moreso musing about like. the culture of fandoms#uhhhh. i guess i'll tag this in the fandom tags#cccc#chonnys charming chaos compendium#chonny jash#ack i hope this doesn't come off judgemental. well it is a little bit because accessibility is important#but it's not. a judgement of character. yknow? i think a lot of people just don't think about it#this is alright to rb by the way i think all fandoms need to have a discussion about accessibility in fan content#if this post inspires anyone to try writing image descriptions for their art i'll be very happy ^-^#i don't need a screenreader myself but i'm light sensitive and can get migraines looking at art sometimes. so the option is nice#ANYWAYS. was thinking about this for a while but was too scared to post it#but i figured now is a good time since people are addressing concerns in the fandom#{which. i'm not touching that one. for personal reasons that i don't want to get into lol}#tridential tirade
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A Different Ending
written for @steddiemicrofic October
prompt: dress || wc: 350 || rating: E || tags: main character death (steve), hurt/no comfort, blood, gore, body horror, grief, s4 canon-divergence, pre-steddie
story under the cut
~~~
“Someone help me dress these!” Eddie screams over his shoulder. His hands are pressed so far into the wounds on Steve’s chest that his fingers squish against something warm and wet. Steve winces at the pressure, and more blood pours from his mouth.
Eddie turns around to find Nancy still standing behind him. She should be running to grab the gauze and bandages from Steve’s pack, tearing her clothes into strips like the last time the bats ripped him open. She shouldn’t just stand here, motionless, dread and acceptance scrawled across her face.
Robin would kill her if she wasn’t dragging Dustin away into the trailer after Nancy agreed to help Steve. Now Eddie understands– she just didn't want them to watch this.
It wasn’t supposed to go like last time. They were defenseless. Steve didn’t even have a shirt or shoes when they traversed this hellscape. But this time they wore their War Zone gear, Eddie and Robin prepped molotov cocktails, and Steve had hammered nails into a shield ’to match my bat, Robs, how cool is that?’.
They agreed it’d be more dangerous at the trailer, so of course Steve volunteered. He’s the fighter, sword and shield. He’s the goddamn babysitter and if Dustin’s here, then so is he.
But Steve promised Eddie a date, he promised not to do anything cute. Now–
“Eds,” Steve coughs, dark red blood seeps out from between his teeth, trickling down the corners of his mouth. It soaks his hair. Out of everything, that’s what rips the first sob from Eddie’s chest. “Please, Eds, you have to go. Get them out of here.”
“No, no please, Stevie– you promised me, remember? Enzo’s, a movie at the Hawk, and a goodnight kiss.” Snot drips from Eddie’s nose into Steve’s chest wound, and he swallows the vomit that floods his mouth.
Steve chuckles, the sound so wet it gurgles. His lips are blue, his eyes unfocused. “Don’t remember promising a goodnight kiss, Munson.”
“Let a guy dream, big boy,” Eddie sobs through a fake, comforting smile.
“You’ll be in my dreams, Eddie. For always.”
#heeeeeeey everyone it's all gonna be ok don't be mad#i shook him too hard#main character death#steve does not make it and eddie's not doing well#sometimes making my blorbo bleed just isn't enough - ya know?#steddie#steddie microfic#steddie ficlet#steve harrington whump#extra hard whump because he's dead#eddie munson whump#s4 canon divergence#i'm doing a thing where i don't stare at my wips and edit them to death so if i missed something please kindly let me know!#no beta we die like... *shrugs*#queeniewritesstories
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He gets a little ..Dark Mode every other event
#that's a gif *points*#when i say dark mode i mean... hmm... dommy? possessive? moody shadow serpent hours?#maybe... light mode means more Bullyable?#honestly he's kinda split on cocoa liqueur. nerdkumo gets a lil All Consumey Dark Impulses too. uhhhh#and i'm not even talking about his behaviour in the story i'm just thinking of his h scene actions#because i def can't call chimes of darkness yakumo Light Mode in general *flashbacks to loud cult noises in the catacombs*#ok so he's a little dark mode in every event because that's just yakumo BUT11!!!#i needed to ignore the grey zones FOR THE GIF#the on off light switch gif action doesn't work as well when a couple lamps are on sometimes 🫤#honestly this is all just an elaborate justification#for my hopeful prediction that the yakumo cycle is coming round to subby again#come on! lights on! i want him extra pathetic next time!!#he had his glorious high heeled mountain goth moment#i want him SCRUNCHED for his next event#nu carnival yakumo
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Had fun one night and doodled an entire page in a comic format 'cus I can. ...And then forgot about it for almost a month. Finally I was able to finish it hehe Panels aren't linked by plot, consider this a stylised sketch dump/AU comic style test (I'm not planning to make a comic, just wanted to draw out some ideas I had for a long time). What I can tell for certain is that first two panels are related to the Sculptor Also, I FINALLY finished listening to TMA! After five years. On a third try. Only thing I regret is me spoilering a bunch of cool stuff three or so years ago and menaging to remember it up to season 5... At least I was only partially crashed by the finale :D This podcast means the world to me, truly. Having full context to everything is amazing and I love Martin with all my heart. Also two particular Martin-centric episodes from season 5 were very cathartic and made me feel uncomfortably seen in a way I didn't even knew I needed- (If you know you know which ones I'm talking about 😭)
#i'm reeealy bummed out about spoiling the tapes IT IS ONE OF THE BEST TWISTS 😭#i had first hand experience with first 4 seasons + ~ 7 ep from season 5 when creating this au btw#and i knew that “avatars” and such were pretty much nominal concepts - i just decided to keep them a bit more prominent in au#for an extra flavour so to speak#often i feel very guilty because of it...#but i thought about it for quite some time and realised something#this au is really just for fun and isn't meant to represent lore of tma/wof/my own main story completely accurately#i love the podcast dearly and base a lot of stuff in this au on smaller things in lore - still i really should stop worrying about accuracy#sometimes i do stuff contrary even to my own interpretation ✨for vibes✨ (or shits and giggles even lol)#in conclusion: don't take it too seriously (i surely don't)#only things i'm *kinda* serious about are character arcs and drama and even that isn't the case all of the time#my art#another chance au#dragon#artists on tumblr#horror au#wings of fire#wof au#the magnus archives#tma oc#wof oc#doodle#comics#Irbis#Newt#Stargazer#Fish#Sculptor
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[ID: A three-panel comic featuring Keter. Keter is a mid-size androgynous person with an asymmetrical haircut that is cheek-length on his right side and shaved on his left side. He wears an unzipped jacket and round, thin-framed glasses.
First panel: Keter stands with his right hand in his pocket, winking and looking slightly away from the camera. On his left hand, he is holding a purple magic wand surrounded by sparkles. He says "Hello everyone! My name is Keter, and you're watching Disney Channel!". The words "Disney Channel" are written in cursive and decorated with purple glitter.
Second Panel: Keter throws the wand over his head, and readies his right hand to catch it when it falls. He is sticking his tongue out and roughly following the wand with his eyes.
Third panel: Keter looks down at his right hand with a stressed expression, watching the wand bounce from his hand and fall to the floor. He says "fuck" in the same glittery cursive font. /End ID]
Sometimes being an artist is about giving yourself a cool persona and then making that design do pathetic things
#ice draws#you can tell I'm not a comic artist#but that doesn't stop me from drawing short comics sometimes!#it's good for body language practice too#also in case a-moths-privacy/extra's mod sees this#thanks for the hand tips!! I've been having a lot of fun drawing hands#also i picked up some of your stylization which is pretty cool#long post#self art
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Might makes right in this world, not morals. Not to mention morals are the epitome of human arrogance.
#shining nikki#caprico#shining nikki caprico#sn caprico#art#mine#*23#so i'm a sucker who spent extra money to get caprico's top up reflection. the predatory microtransactions get me sometimes#i paid money for that card that means i get to raw him tHAT WAS THE DEAL#okay. i meant Draw but that works too lol#listen. i have all his stupid cards. i had to get this one too. i didn't get the whole suit ofc bc i'm broke and NOT insane#but i'll give into fomo and sunk cost fallacies for you capri. muah
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A lot of early concept stuff was expression/pose brainstorming - there’s the classic six Webkinz emotions (which, I learned have been largely pared down to just four after a point! Since they got rid of Dr. Quack’s role, there’s no more “sick” expression and most ‘Kinz’ tired and sad expressions are the same! >:0 What’s the point of having an easily editable puppet with the spaghetti code intact that you have to put an image there AnyWay and not make a slightly different expression!! H’f) as well as the main Sakura poses - so if I’m already making up expressions, why no go a little further! :D
One of the expressions I definitely needed up top was Mischievous - working with a cat, that’s the only logical conclusion really. I think it’s funny that she swerves the compliment only to pay it right back as well lol
The ticklish expression is one I’m still going back and forth on! I’m half tempted to have it be somewhere between happy and angry - maybe a mood gradient, starting out just positive and slowly moving into “Hey stop! >:0″ if it’s too many times in a row? It’s a thought haha
Similarly so, messing with her ears - bothering your pets is a very important element of socialization (lol)
As seen above, I’d reallyyy like to figure a way to have a dual-visual mood system - both the ‘Kinz body language/expression/emotion and a more exact stat bar. I’m still chewing on this idea a bit, no pun intended lol. That and click-and-drag with an actual image you can drag around your screen, hm and hm! Much to think about. Her face here turned out cute and funny haha, helped me push the expression more comedic
Much better :) Webkinz already has some well-known food dialogue, my favourite is probably “Mmm to the mmmax!” haha
Each low-mood would have their own emotion tied to it, but what about somewhere in the middle? I like the idea of the ‘Kinz getting bored if they’re left alone for too long! And little paw taps, showing off her embroidered paw pad haha ♪
#Doodles#Webkinz#Diamond#Ghostkinz#Ukadevlog#Diamond makes for an excellent concept art model#But y'already knew that haha she's featured a few times now! Plush or digital she's so cute#Of course these were made before her vectors! Had to start traditionally first and foremost!#All the bluesky stage so let's! see! what makes it to coding it lol#Some of these I even know how to do! :D The rest uhh we'll see :)#For now it's just the fun of Ideas >:3c Strong creative ideas cannot be fettered by realism! Lol#It'll be fun to see what makes it all the way to final! Heck I don't even know how much of what Actually Currently Finished will stay haha#I considered having the extra doodles under a cut but ehhh it's a cheat week it's fiiine it's not a big deal#How are we feeling on these mostly-unedited doodles haha - they're not too bad I think :)#The little intro in the first one haha - I went with my current in-game name even tho I use ''Willian'' for all my Ghosts this one included#It's a WillPlays but also not?? It's fine don't worry about it lol#Since pets are so centrally featured I gotta make sure they're good ahh#Smol actually came up with a great idea for face-clicks that aren't punches :3c So I'm gonna try that out sometime hehehe#It doesn't feel right to punch a 'Kinz! :'0 Bothering them is fine tho lol#So far I've thought up some ways to intentionally drop Happiness and Energy but I think Hunger would just have to be a waiting game#Maybe an activity of some kind? Not sure hmm#Anyway don't intentionally try to make your 'Kinz sick just to see the cute/sad blinking animations! That's mean!#(Do it I made the blinking animation soooo hard so every time they blink it's like she's struggling to keep them open ahhh)#I had the idea to have a run-away system if they're mistreated but hmmm dunno yet not sure#It really is fun to think of a more in-depth pet system ♪ I really like the many many features Webkinz Classic has!#The wide selection of pets and items and the room and clothes customization and games and like - there's a lot on offer!!#But it does really feel like the Interactions With Your Online/Plush Pet have fallen wayyy to the wayside :(#There's only extremely sparse locations you can even talk /to/ your pet anymore :( Not just as them like an avatar#I remember chatting with Sugar every time I logged on - I have to join a specific timed event just to wish Embroidery good luck anymore#Getting to chat is a big big reason I'm excited for this <3 It's /fun/ to chat with your plush! It makes them more real <3
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experimenting with gender
#smol makes art#demon oc#I guess??? Idk yet lmao. Clearly inspired by Butcher's Vanity by Vane Lily tho#Idk this fucker's name or if he's a sona or not but basically that inky monstrosity is his true form#sometimes to reveal it involves fucking up the mortal body but idk how I'm gonna do that yet. He just pops back into place afterwards#classic case of like extra limbs and/or tendrils bursting out of the body. Sometimes has far too wide a moth with far too many teeth.#Eyes within eyes. Normal stuff.#'hey didn't your 18+ sona have the ability to produce tentacles' yes she does maybe I'll redo her mind your business
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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)
#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done#there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself#maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth#ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi#beatrix valeria campbell#hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3#the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like#there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name#because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and#fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help#let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away#from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera#like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but#that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea#the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same#as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow#as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh#speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me#and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind#of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk#fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing#i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts#fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front#paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels#more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that#front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry#oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers#and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
The elusive Líf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now
#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in#and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times#AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching#BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function#on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years#so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape#before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates#oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it#and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces#i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double#which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through#all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever#oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric#honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like#it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it
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real talk i actually do put like. an unreasonable amount of effort into my textpost memes behind the scenes so it's actually really rewarding to get to share them thanks for putting up with my antics
#zanna talks#like first off i'm always doing my best to make sure they are not only in character but actually over a frame that makes SENSE in context#(many of my memes are incredibly situationally specific bc of this)#but on top of that i want them all to be consistently formatted so i have to track down the og textpost to get my own screenshot if#the one i have on hand is too low quality/weirdly formatted/in one of the tumblr color palettes other than classic#which adds a lot of extra work. but i want them to be nice and consistent and i want ppl to be able to screenshot the textpost for their#OWN textpost memes and have it look nice bc how i started out was by doing that and it's HARD to find non-crunchy ones sometimes#and THEN i have all the extra work of getting 1080p screenshots (forgive me. some are 720p and you can TELL. my wifi is bad) which#(bc of bad wifi) takes HOURS. and then i have to format them all so they're the same pixel ratio without weird white lines anywhere.#and THEN i have to put the textpost on top and arrange it so it looks nice graphically#and THEN i have to arrange them all in sets in chronological order but without too many from one movie or scene or of one character#(this is bc i am a freak)#so like. by the time u see these things i have put HOURS of work and careful consideration and curation into them#i do not do this lightly im deeply unwell#so yeah um. this has been a Post. explaining my unhinged process.#did i mention ive made over 200 for narnia hahahhahahah anyway#(and yes the fact that the tumnus one i made is on dark mode means i spent A FULL HOUR trying to find the og or a different screenshot#and could not and that KILLS ME.)
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Thinking about opening commissions but I get so nervous
#I feel like no one will buy them (which has happened every time before)#Which is fine like whatever I don't care but there's no point opening them if that's the case#Also the pressure of people paying for it is so scary I gotta make it all S tier but what if it sucks 😭#Also what if I'm too unprofessional 😭😭😭#The extra change would be nice though#But I'm SCARED!!!#Maybe sometime soon#yapping
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kept on thinking about some of the more emotional beats of the kurokara lore while i was trying to fall asleep last night and i just... i need to explode...
#i was mostly thinking about the whole other side to osomatsu-san in hell where kuroba's trying to navigate their grief#there's a moment where kuroba's getting their usual weekly shipment of flowers and they realize they forgot ->#to change the quantity of red roses they always order ( they started ordering extra after kara became a regular )#for the most part they've been able to navigate things seemingly well. sure they've been more melancholic but they SEEM alright#and they try to handle this moment well too. makes a joke about how they're gonna have to have a sale on rose arrangements for a bit#but then they just. kinda break down crying. he's still everywhere despite not being there and it's so crushing.#kuro finally understands how their granddad must've felt when their grandma passed away....#there's a more lighthearted follow up to that moment tho#basically the delivery driver makes sure the quantity of roses is correct ( it's the same was before )#but kuro cheerfully tells them that the person they order them for is a regular again so it's alright#after that the delivery driver tells them that they're glad they made up with their boyfriend#when kuro's like excuse me??? they say '' you get the roses for the guy in the leather jacket right? i see him come in sometimes ->#after i finish deliveries but i hadn't seen around recently. glad things worked out for you yotsubana. :) ''#and then they leave before kuroba can clarify things. rip.#i'm going out for a bit but once i get back i NEED to finish the art for the first kurokara lore post i was working on#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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