#I'm terrible at jokes

[cosmossnake]

Ruin gets some comfort

He hates Nexus. This madman decided that today he was going to make their existence the most miserable possible. First making him relive memories, he wishes they could forget, and now making him go into a different dimension Creator’s lab, just to steal some random shit and end up almost, or actually, killed. He knew they were going to deal with a “Nice Version” of the Creator, but he didn't let his guard down, they aren’t trusting any Creator.

Oh, but how much he wishes they could just get his hands on that emo’s neck and just take his head OFF-  Wait. Calm down Ruin, you are getting violent thoughts again, remember what you are here for.

Speaking of, he wonders if he will be able to get the stuff and get out fast enough before the Creator notices him. He’s not in the mood to face the old man. Thankfully, it looks like he isn’t in here right now, but he can come at any minute, so he gotta be quick.

But when they came to the top of the stairs, and turned their head to the side…

God damn it…

There was, staring at him, an old blond haired man, short, wearing clothes perfect for those mad scientists in movies, who was probably in his 70’s.

The Creator.

This was weird. Seeing him, in his human form, when you are so used to a giant flying brain.

Creator - Uhhhhh, Hello? Who… are… you?”

The man asked, confused by the quite colorful animatronic.

So, before they could even notice, Ruin reseted back to his theatrics Of course, how typical of the coward and pathetic Ruin. 

Ruin - Oh dear, how rude of me not to present myself, my name is Ruin good sir, and you shall be?

 He said while bowing theatrically at the man's direction.

Sven - “Ruin?’’ What an interesting name choice, not judging you, of course. My name is Sven. Now, what are you doing here in my lab, my boy?

Ruin wanted to flinch at the word “Boy”. No, that isn’t them, of course they didn’t mind the pronoun, but words like those…

“Good boy”

Are things that make him shiver. But he just sucked the feeling and locked it in a deep corner of his mind to deal with later. He has to go on with this little show.

Ruin - Well, you see Sven, I was just wandering around dimensions, when I noticed yours, which picked my curiosity, then I decided to explore a little, now I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something.

Ruin answered with this little, dirty lie. 

Sven - So, are you a dimension traveler, my boy? 

Ruin - Yes, I believe you can call me that.

Sven - Cool! Would you like a tour?

Ruin - A conversation would be better, good sir. I have millions of questions about this place!

Sven - Of course, I will just organize some files in my computer then I will be ready, would you like some tea? My child, Mercury, came here earlier, bringing some tea and biscuits with her, but we ended up not eating at all. They are a lovely person, you should meet her sometime.

‘Now here is my perfect chance to steal those documents ’

Ruin - That would be lovely good sir. She indeed looks like a lovely girl.

Sven - Actually they are a "She/They" . But she doesn't like being called girl.

Ruin - Oh... Of course I apologize.

Sven - What about you?

Ruin- I beg your pardon?

Ruin asked. Their voice started to get softer.

Sven - I'm asking for your pronouns Ruin. Are you okay with me calling you "boy"? You seemed quite uncomfortable when I called you that.

‘How did he…? Nevermind’

Ruin - I use "He/They/It". Please don't call me “boy” . I highly dislike it.

Sven - Of course, I apologize for disrespecting your boundaries and just calling you that, without asking first. I just assumed since most daycare attendants seem to prefer the masculine gender. But now I will not commit the same mistake again. I'm sorry.

Saying that Ruin was surprised was understandable, but they were shocked. Looks like they were underestimating this man. He’s indeed kind, a “normal” (If those guys have anything of normal) creator would have just called them a “dramatic piece of trash”, if they dared to whine about it.

Ruin - It's okay. Thank you.

Sven - Of course, I don't want any alternative version of my children to feel uncomfortable about themselves, considering that most of my diferent versions aren't that... nice…

‘Wait. Did he just call him?…’

Ruin - Don't call me that.

Sven - What?

Ruin - One… of your children.

Sven - Oh… Of course. I apologize again.

Ruin - No need to apologize. You did nothing wrong on purpose. I just... don't like it.

Sven - ... Do you... wanna talk about it?

Ruin - ...

Ruin - No.

Ruin sounded a little more rude than he wanted.

Sven - It's okay. Now do you still want the tea and biscuits?

Ruin - Uh? Oh yes. That would be lovely.

Sven - I'm gonna go get it, you can make yourself comfortable.

  When Sven walked out of the room, Ruin went immediately to the computers, to find what Nexus wanted.

While waiting for it to download on the USB, that Nexus gave to them, they noticed some pictures on the computer screen. It was pictures of Sven's family members. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. All decorated like the person in the picture. 'Looks like he really values his... family."

  Then, looking next to the computer, they saw a portrait. Of a family of five, two adults and three kids. They recognized three people there. Sven, his partner and… Andrew. 'Was he one of his children in this universe?' They wondered. Suddenly, with a little "bip!", the download was completed, so they took the USB, and came back down stairs, setting themselves on one of the chairs of the table, the place had. Soon, Sven was walking back to the room, with tea and biscuits in his hands.

Sven - Hello again! I came back, Is everything okay?

Ruin - Oh yes! Everything’s just fine!

Sven - I'm glad about that! Now, i only had mint tea, do you like it or do you want me to do something else?

Ruin stopped a little. They really souldn't stay longer, but a little rest wouldn't hurt. 'They really needed it'

Ruin - Anything is just fine for me.

Sven - Alright then.

While Sven served the tea, Ruin saw his thoughts wander back to those pictures. How happy everyone looked. 'And how they wish that there was one with them'. They were jealous, but the'll never admit it out loud. They were also kinda content with how much respect they were treated today. You don't deserve it, you abomination. But that didn't make things better for him.

Noticing Ruin's silence, Sven asked.

Sven - Are you alright, Ruin?

Ruin - Uh? Yes, quite alright, now, my first question: Do you have any family members or do you just live here alone?

Sven noticed they were lying, but decided to play along.

Sven - Oh yes! I actually do have a family. Sun, Moon and Earth are my oldest children, then I have Mercury, the one I talked about with you, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and recently I've been building Pluto.

Ruin - Wow! All the planets , Sun and Moon!? But why Pluto too? Isn't it no longer considered a planet?

Sven - Please don't make me laugh, I don't believe in NASA.

Ruin chuckled at the shenanigans of the old man.

Ruin - Alright then, so how are they?

Sven - Quite alright, besides the occasional death threats, My children are doing wonderful.

‘Oh… that i didn't expect’

Sven - To be quite honest I'm also planning on building the entire solar system.

Ruin - Jesus, are you sure you gonna conquer that before your death?

Sven - Well, I do have some nano machines helping my body stay intact, but when I get satisfied with everything I've done, I'll let myself die.

Ruin - Fair enough. You... look like a great parent. 'Better than a lot of others.'

Sven - Oh well, thank you.

Then, Ruin stopped for a moment and remembered why he was here.

Ruin - I should go now. 

Sven - Are you sure? Don't you want to stay more?

Ruin - No… I really should go.

‘ Or Nexus would break me apart’

Ruin - It was a lovely talk and I'm sorry for wasting your time, but now I should give my goodbye and let the curtains close.

Ruin said, while standing up, already turning around to go.

Sven - Well, if you say so. Goodbye Ruin, I hope to see you again, someday.

They stopped in their tracks…

Ruin - …

And turned around.

Ruin - Goodbye Sven, I hope to see you again.

'If i don't die, before that'.

Then, they turned around, opened a portal and left.

Sven - Did you hear that Moon? 

Moon - Yeah I did, I'm surprised he didn't try anything.

Something Ruin didn't know is that Moon was on a call with Sven.

Sven - Actually, they did steal some documents on my Sun and Moon designs.

Moon - Wait, what?! Why did you let him do that?!

Sven - Well, first, I have hundreds of copies of their designs and second, if they try anything, I know how to protect my children.

Moon - *Sighs*Alright then, I'll trust your word.

Sven - I'll admit, they're quite a well educated fella.

Moon - He literally punched me, in the face, when we first met.

Sven - Oh, well.

Moon - What do you mean “Oh, well”!?

Sven - Oh well.

Moon - Uh? You know what? Bye Sven, see ya.

Sven - Goodbye Moon, have a graceful day.

Creator notes: I honestly don't know how to feel about this fic. This is my first time writing a whole story in english, which isn't my first language, so i got the internet's help, but i still like it? I guess? Idk. Hope you guys enjoy.

Also, there is some headcannons in here so, yeah.

Bonus picture of my personal Ruin design:

[theweirdoinurhouse]

Hi

I would like to say something. I'm not Barbie. I'm not Ken.

I'm Allan.

(This was funnier in my head, I'm saying I'm non-binary)

[rika-mortis]

Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

[bixels]

The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.

Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.

Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.

[seiya-starsniper]

what do you mean that's not how this scene went

[theecholegend]

look at this high quality video of Fours Minish transformation!

[estrogenism]

Pride flag for people who want to or have cut Crowfeather open and left him to die of infection! Hope you enjoy <3

[crimeronan]

eda and darius are especially hilarious because they are The Same Person. have we ever talked about this. i know i've been thinking about this for Years now and i can't remember if i've actually written any meta about it.

these are both ornery closed-off emotionally repressed adults with 10,000 personal issues and zero social life except for their weird gremlin roommate whom they treat like family even though the weird gremlin roommate is a giant pain in the ass. they both get followed around extensively by literally The Most Annoying Children In The World who refuse to take an "i'm a negligent burnout who should never be responsible for kids" hint until the kids finally manage to be so annoying and so relentless and so genuinely goodhearted that the ornery adult is like FINE. this is my FUCKING CHILD NOW. I GUESS. go on to become the child's mentor and then the child's parent or at least to blur the lines between those two. teach the kid about an area of interest they're hyperfixated on. complain mutinously the entire time they're doing it. constantly talk about how they're going to bed and/or want naps and/or don't want to work. engage in insane rivalries with extremely dangerous people sometimes for thematic plot reasons and sometimes just for the fun of it. can turn into giant really hot monsters made of magic. fail to let anyone in on what they're thinking or feeling or planning even on pain of death. truly both start out as completely miserable burnt-out bastards who then regain the life in their eyes when they start hanging out with their random pseudo-orphaned children with turbo autism.

like. listen to me. They Are The Same Person. you think they aren't because darius looks like this high-fashion super cool spy dude who managed to lead a coven without raising suspicion for 30 years and eda is an alcoholic nightmare lady who sleeps in a nest filled with animal bones and digs through actual trash piles for a living but I NEED EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND. THEY. ARE. THE. SAAAAME

[madame-helen]

[jupitermelichios]

my favourite sexuality for comic book characters to be is "we made this other character canonically queer because of their relationship with them but for some reason they are still canonically straight"

like wade wilson? mostly canonically queer because of the period where he was married to cable. he was in a queer relationship, so we have to just make him canonically queer. (Yes I know it's not the only reason, I have read all his extremely camp early 00s comics, but lets be real they'd have kept insisting that was all just a joke if it wasn't for Cable and Deadpool).

cable? definitely straight. 100% straight. obviously cable is straight. his relationship with wade is only gay during the & Deadpool, in the Cable part of the book it's very straight. He stands next to a woman sometimes, that's how you can tell it's not gay.

Kitty has, finally, been allowed to come out, but for like a decade, Illyana was canon queer because she dated Kitty, but Kitty was definitely straight and would never date a woman, and no one at marvel thought there was anything weird about that.

[Image Description: a very straight character, interacting with another straight character, in a very believably straight way]

Marvel has way more of these, mostly by virtue of having more queer characters and also chris clairmont (you can never understate the impact of chris clairmont in these matters) but Tim Drake and Kon Kent spring to mind from DC.

I think you could even make a solid argument that 616 Tony and Steve are that, given Tony is out now and Steve, somehow, still isn't.

anyway you don't really get these in any other medium, because they require multiple writers who all wildly disagree with one another to all write the same characters to happen, but i love them, and as much as I want Cable and Kon to come out, I kind of hope this never stops happening in comics, it's just never not funny.

[kaizokunoyume]

💋

[bitternace]

haven't been able to stop thinking about @xi-off's response tags to my sillies on this post. hello.

[id: xion, shown as if taking a selfie, with her left hand in a peace sign. her eyes are closed and she's smiling. behind her are saix and axel, blurred in the distance where Saïx, up in the air, prepares to smash lunatic down into Axel, who leans slightly forward as if daring him slightly out of frame. Overlaid over both, is a screenshot of tumblr user pjackk's post that reads "Can i be sensitive or will i be tackled and killed" Overlaid over xion, are tags that read "(xion selfie) at family counseling with my emotionally trainwrecked divorced dads ✌️😚". The background vaguely resembles the grey area in the world that never was. /end id.]

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

Elain stans have such a weird relationship with Nuala and Cerridwen and I genuinely can't tell if they just choose not to look at the optics of that dynamic or what...

[essektheylyss]

Ashton: [scoffing at miracles and fate]

me, showing up with a "Your Fate, Your Faith, and You" pamphlet embossed with a beacon: Hey, you know who else is a cool punk rock?

[bitchthefuck1]

It's always so funny to me when people call Kaz a serial killer or a murderer bc like. boy do I have news for you about the other crows.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A Blorbo You Treat Nicely, Right?