#I'm still insecure
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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Revisiting an artist account and realizing they have deleted at least half of their art.
Sadness
#lyna rambles#I wish people were less insecure about their art#or idk maybe they deleted it because they don't feel proud of those drawings anymore or just dont like them anymore#but it's still so sad when I'm going through an artist gallery and some of the art is not there and I'm just like 'oh... :('
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Every time I feel insecure about how I draw I just look back at my old drawings from almost 4 years ago.
#I think I drew that around April of 2020#I'm still trying to develop my ideal art style but my improvement allows me to draw more confidently without worrying about it#And I'm still drawing springtrap to this day (I've only drawn him twice in 2020)#I wish I drew more fnaf back then cuz I would've loved to see my progress but I felt insecure back in 2014-17#All my older fnaf art was digital but I lost my old phone along with the drawings </3#SAVE YOUR OLD ART I PROMISE YOU'LL LOVE THE IMPROVEMENTS#fnaf#five nights at freddys#springtrap#william afton
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It's the words that were never spoken that echoes through the times. It's the smell of the burning temples swept away by rhymes (x)
#the band ghost#ghost band#ghost bc#papa emeritus iv#copia#papa iv#papa 4#popia#kaisarion#my gifs#i'm still so excited about the new EP!!#but anyway#have these gifs i made yesterday#they're super vibrant#cause i like color#heheheh#i'm def not comfortable with posting square gifs this way though#this post format makes them bigger and it ruins the quality a bit#so i'm a lil insecure about it#but i figured i'd try something new#also the coloring is so inconsistent#*cries*#hoping tumblr won't ruin everything and make them small again#🥲#sorry for rambling
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This took way longer to make than I expected and/or wanted it to.
I've collected some stray thoughts and ideas I had into what I've been calling Shape!Caz AU. The name might be subject to change because I'm terrible at naming things. To be honest I haven't completely fleshed out the AU yet and I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it.
The basic premise is that after destroying the Shape, Caz becomes the eldritch horror instead. He doesn't know about that part. What he knows is that all of the sudden he's back on an oil rig that should have been destroyed, surrounded by people who died horrible deaths at best but are suddenly alive and well and there's creepy shit happening around him that gets worse the more he panics.
It’s December 27th. None of the crew remember the 26th happening, but the people calling from the outside insist on that. They say the Beira D was completely unreachable for a whole day.
Caz just appeared at the derrick at some point. He didn’t walk in or anything, all of the sudden he just stood there, screaming. Gibbo was the first one to get to him, but then he started freaking out and yelling about not wanting to do something and ran away. It’s impossible to get him to stop crying for long enough to explain anything. It’s even harder to get any explanation from Caz. The guy just keeps rambling about people dying and monsters. Looking at him for too long hurts.
Apparently Rennick tried to fire Caz. No idea what made him change his mind, but his office has been destroyed and the guys from Administration say that he called some random guy just to threaten him. They also said that Caz is now banned from using any form of long-range communication. This was not elaborated on.One of the first things Caz did after getting to Accommodations was punching Addair. Nobody thought anything of it at the time but now Addair’s wandering around Engineering muttering something about the engine and calling his kids. He’s not responding to anyone trying to talk to him. It’s really bad for the crew’s morale.
There’s something big moving on the deck that you can only see when looking out of the windows. Some of the deckhands keep insisting that it’s Muir, but none of them have any idea how they know that. Muir himself is currently trapped in their cabin where Innes locked him in after Caz mentioned his name. Innes went missing a few hours ago. Muir is starting to get pissed. Caz seems really upset by this.
The hallways are alive when Caz is upset.
#swtd#still wakes the deep#digital art#caz swtd#I haven't written anything for fun since trade school#swtd au#posting this when I'm already half asleep might not be a good idea#we don't do good ideas in this household#I hope that the writing makes sense#I just want this thing to be out#I can no longer tell if the picture looks okay or if I'm just used to it#I remade the light so many times#I'm going to bed immediately after this goes up#about the edits I made:#I woke up at around 1:30 am and got really insecure about the writing#I think the post should be back to it's previous state#turns out it indeed was a bad idea
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Sidlink BOTW AU where Sidon WANTS to fancy Link, but thinks Link will only like a Hylian, so Sidon tries to act Hylian around Link... except Sidon doesn't know much about Hylians.
Sidon just squatting and trying to act shorter around Link. Attempting to hide his sharp toothy grin and stop his tail from wagging. He's starting fires when trying to cook Hylian meals. Sidon putting on pants... incorrectly. It's really weird. Everyone in the domain is thinking the Prince is having a midlife crisis.
Sidon IS having a crisis, but it's a gay panic one.
But unbeknownst to Sidon, Link has fallen for these Zora quips. The smile Sidon flashes makes Link lose his train of thought... the way Sidon's tail wags makes Link flustered. When Sidon shook Link's hand with his two smothering strong ones, Link felt dizzy. Link is missing these quirks Sidon would show, so Link is determined to see them again!
When Link and Sidon are alone in Zora's Domain, Link purposely tells a funny story to the Prince. One he KNOWS will get him to laugh. But when Sidon turns his face from Link to "keep cool", Link gets frustrated. He grabs onto the fishy prince's face, asking him WHY Sidon is acting so differently. Sidon tries to deflect such a notion, but Link calls Sidon out on all the weird things he's been noticing... especially the pants.
Sidon cracks under the gaze of this Hylian! Link not only sees right through Sidon's changes, but Link seems to DISLIKE them, too! Sidon is embarrassed, and he deflates from the realization that Link doesn't like the prince. Sidon refuses to look at Link as he tells Link half the truth, that he wanted to be Link's... FRIEND. That he thought Link wouldn't want to be with... well FRIENDS with... a Zora. Link pauses, as he KNOWS that Sidon knows about he and Mipha's friendship, so something STILL feels off. It isn't until he notices Sidon's blushing that he understands what is truly being said.
After Link makes sure Sidon looks into his eyes, Link reassures Sidon that the things he likes about Sidon are what are truly him. His heroic grin, his playful tail wags. His champion-like swimming abilities. That Link enjoys Sidon. That he wants to SEE Sidon... all of him. Quickly, though, after Sidon lets out a flustered wheeze, Link realizes how his words came across, stating he just meant for Sidon to take off the pants! Sidon wheezes louder. Link gets more embarrassed and tries to explain he just meant Zora don't wear pants, so he'd want to see Sidon without-
It's great. They're great. They're trying.
It takes a bit more time after this convo, cause clearly the two are terrible with communication, but they reveal their romantic interests.
And they burn that infamous pair of pants.
#sidlink#sidlink hc#sidlink headcannon#I had my morning coffee I'm sorry#I just imagined insecure Sidon#and how silly it would look to have Sidon acting Hylian#even though he is a literal shark#with a dump truck#like where did he get the pants#also I know damn well Sidon would still try to hide his smile a few times after this. Cause of habit#but Link would catch his face before he hides the smile#so he can kiss his toothy grin#making Sidon wag his tail so hard it smacks Link#and Muzu thinks that the black eye Link has means they fought#and Muzu is happy#and tells Dorephan the “good” news#but Muzu doesn't realize they're hella gay#Muzu is a hater#muzu only supports gay wrongs and not gay rights
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Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.
Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.
It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.
Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#i've been thinking about this since last week#but then we got those scenes with ye and cher this week#which is a whole other discussion that i'm sure it will take me a whole other week to really process lol#but there's something about ye being tired and cher being insecure but obviously the love is still there#idk but i will be so entirely shocked if gmmtv tries to convince me that ye who is head over heels for cher#would even entertain the notion of cheating#when he's probably just stressed about his brother and his gym and their finances and that's affecting how physical he is#when he's clearly normally very touchy and cher likes that despite his protests#so when that stops and cher doesn't understand why i can see how that can cause some pause#but those two displayed good communication this episode despite cher following ye#cher was comfortable enough to tell ye he was upset and what he thought was going on#but if this show tries to convince me that they actually have issues because ye is cheating then i will simply refuse to believe it
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While Roy would argue that the leaky faucet in their apartment adds to its ramshackle, rustic charm, Jason doesn't share the sentiment. The persistent dripping is white noise to Roy, but for Jason it's an irritant. It's a reminder of home and a childhood Jason would rather forget - a too small apartment that was rundown and falling apart, all stained surfaces and broken fixtures because no one cared to take care of anything. Jason doesn't want to live like that again. It's why Jason does so much to keep the place up despite Roy's absence because it's not just a safe house - it's their home.
Which is why when Roy comes home and is greeted with that steady drip, he grimaces. The leaky faucet is something Roy promised to fix months ago and promptly forgets about between so many other responsibilities, but he resolves himself in that moment: today is the day.
Guilt and shame are strong motivators and Roy feels an ample amount of both if only because the place looks as good as it does. Everything is clean and smells fresh in a way that makes Roy feel at ease and yet here he's left Jason to suffer with a faulty sink.
The old saying of, 'happy wife, happy life,' crosses Roy's mind and while they're not married, Roy resolves that he needs to do better by his partner. If not out of love, then certainly because Roy isn't sure he could withstand being at the forefront of Jason's provoked ire.
It's not a hard task. Challenged as Roy likes to be, he finds enjoyment in the straightforward nature of the problem and the clear steps needed to resolve it. Compared to the other work he does, it's mindless and it's something of a relief.
That he's going to get brownie points with Jason is an added bonus.
Jason, who walks into their apartment that's been empty for months while Roy has been tied up with Justice League missions and bureaucracy to find his partner on his back, crowded into the cabinet beneath their sink finally making right on his promise to fix the damn plumbing. Jason, who sees Roy following through and preens about it because the poor kid is all crossed wires and fucked up associations about the men in his life taking care of shit like this. Jason, who comes home and straddles Roy's hips like he's done so often in the past, casual and alluring - the menace.
It takes all of Roy's willpower not to react. For as often as Jason tries to seduce Roy, Roy has been painstakingly mindful to not take advantage. Making Jason happy and flirting around is one thing; letting him believe he has to pay Roy back for fulfilling a promise Roy made months ago and forgot about is another.
"You gonna help?" Roy asks instead.
"Depends on the plumbing." Jason quips, grinding his ass back against Roy to tease him and-
Bang!
It feels good until it doesn't. Roy sees stars for too many reasons and all he can think is that this was karma coming to bite his ass for 1) not fixing the sink sooner and 2) being tempted by the vixen that is Jason Todd.
The weight on his pelvis is gone in an instant and Roy groans in disappointment. Just because he won't come on to Jason doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy when Jason tries to seduce him. It's his guilty pleasure, fuck!
"Shit, are you okay?" Jason asks through an incredulous laugh, dragging Roy out from beneath the sink by his calves. Roy goes easy, one hand to the bump on his head from hitting the pipes beneath the sink. Jason looks both embarrassed and sheepish and Roy can't say the kid has ever looked more gorgeous than in that moment, hovering over Roy with cool fingers pressed to the swelling bump just beneath the edge of Roy's hat. "My bad," Jason snickers, knocking his knuckles just shy of the hurt.
Roy makes a face at him and, just to tease, torments him with a lighthearted taunt: "Kiss it better?"
The mood has come and gone though, so all Jason gives Roy is a smirk and a pointed kiss to his own hand before he smacks it over Roy's head.
"Maybe after you finish with the sink." Jason says, gesturing to the broken pipe, courtesy of Roy's forehead. Roy turns his attention to it, lips pursed because wow, fuck. That's another trip to the store.
"Since it's your fault-" Roy says and Jason scoffs. Still, when Roy holds out his hand, Jason hoists him up. Roy smiles at him, easy as anything, "-come get the parts with me."
Roy loves the work he does. He's happy to do it, but he's missed this; he's glad to be home.
#royjay#jayroy#words#some sort of au where there's romantic tension but jason has a bit too much going on and roy is tries to be responsible but is also thirsty#and jason is aware of this and sometimes uses it but other times nah and other times still gets insecure about where the relationship stand#this gives big age difference vibes#and now all i'm thinking of is barely contained sleazy roy and small no lazarus jason#my new favorite trope:#is it bros being bros or a ship setting sail?
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when michael kaiser gets animated he'll hit twitter like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#michael kaiser#sorry for posting incessantly about some random soccer manga guy do you still think I'm hot#but I do stand by this. his whole secretly insecure antagonist with a weird gay thing going on with the protag concept#is something that goes over GREAT with a particular subset of anime fans (me. I'm fans)#and that's not even getting into the trans ass rose motif or the self-choking which are calculated to make tumblr queers insane
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one thing I absolutely love about tumblr that only exists here is the way many people unrestrainedly pour out their thoughts and reactions in the tags when otherwise they would hesitate writing it in regular comments on other platforms and I live for it. thank you everyone for liking my latest piece, it's been 162494 years since I drew anything FE3H related and I desperately needed this. it feels like I'm back home
#coucou talks#feeling very satisfied#also I didn't expect such a strong reaction on all social platforms#this grandfather/failnaught scene isn't perfectly elaborated I would love to make a fleshed out comic for this#but I'm a terribly weak writer and extremely insecure about writing up dialogues#super insecure about writing in general as much as I want to#anyway thank you everyone it's a real joy to be here again and be productive in this fandom#I still love claude as always
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something breaks inside me whenever I read fics where Arthur's knights go against him, pick weapon and all that...when they choose merlin over Arthur, ik, ik BBC merlin is, well, mainly about Merlin, and really it's my fault I've fallen in love with Arthur instead of main character Merlin...but just hurts man! Imagining that people you're so close with, who mean so much to you, won't accept you and would chose someone else over you. The moment I read smth like that my vision would go blurry. Hurts man! Hurts sm
#bbc merlin#I thought I was over it#I even finished 2 books#But we're here again#bbc arthur#I love you sm#arthur pendragon#And I seem myself in you#That's main reason ig#I'm projecting all my insecurities on him#Ugh wrong thing to do ofc#But still
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So I just watched the new Helluva episode (the Specter Diddlers)
Most of the "fuck" humor just made me roll my eyes at worst, and I could sit through it at best. The focus on Millie was the sole reason I decided to check it out and I loved that she got to be badass and have new lore to her. Her and Blitz had notable chemistry (platonically speaking, though I've seen some people start considering the ship after this). I don't think I could add anything new to the already existing discussion, but I'll just say this:
Ronaldo's existence is... incredibly confusing. What kind of demon is he? How did he get to Earth? Sinner overlords are the ones that can be insanely powerful, see also: Alastor, but even he is confined to Hell. Succubi and some imps (like Barbie) can be registered as working on Earth, but they don't seem to have any special powers outside of seduction in the former's case. Aquatic hellborn demons exist, like Crimson's mafia or Glitz and Glam, but they also don't have powers. Let alone ones this showy. I mean, the one other time we've seen demonic possession was in Truth Seekers (iirc) done by Stolas, who is a Goetia, which this dude also isn't... so what is he and what was he doing up top?
(Though since he was also killed at the end, he had to have been a hellborn, as sinners can only die from angelic weapons...)
#helluva critical#helluva boss critical#not a confession#(well. just mine)#I'm tired of the Blitz pity parties as much as the next guy and we've seen his insecurities and trauma be broken down so so many times#like sure dude. we get it#the Ronaldo torture part where he watched it all flash by with tears streaming down his face felt particularly gratuitous#and Wattpad fanfiction-y (if I'm still allowed to use such terms)#but yeah the burning mother scene did go kinda hard#with the dead past Millies... I like it when shows do that. line up all the different possibilities slash bad endings#remember those pages in The Book Of Bill?#anyway I'm also confused as to why Loona will just oblige with Blitz's random bullshit to her own detriment now when previously she's had#no problem kicking him hard in the balls for so much as mildly upsetting her#but I've missed a few eps so who'm I to assume#I guess it could be because he's that down in the dumps but it's not even like he was WATCHING her burn them
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oh my god the way u draw the punisher… passes out on the floor and then explodes into glittery confetti. god shes gorgeous. the way you draw humans…. so good. delicious food. love your art, thank you for making it
thank you i draw punisher like that because im homosexual. you're welcome...... have some short-haired doodles because I think I haven't posted them here yet
#orv#punisher#yoo joonghyuk#i know short-haired punisher is literally just yjh boobs. and you know what. i'm relishing in it.#also i must say as someone who spent the first 8 years of art drawing like. exclusively animals#it's nice to think i've come this far. since tbh i'm still insecure about my human anatomy a lot. thank you lesbianism
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As someone who’s pretty insecure about her breast size, seeing you celebrating having new breasts the same size as mine is absolutely wonderful. Like yaay :D this type of body is something people enjoy having :) I should enjoy it too <3 peace and love in the world of the boobs
Literally the relief I feel walking around with this titty size is IMMEASURABLE. It is the only good thing in my life right now lmao, and also my clothing options have opened up tenfold!! Also re: being insecure abt your breast size--- people are so fucking stupid. everyone is literally so so goddamn dumb. I got no less than 50 asks telling me my breasts are "still huge" at my current, drastically reduced size. No objectivity at all! You could probably tell people your boobs are anywhere from a C to an H cup and they'll believe you, bc people are so sure they can eyeball a cup size, and they can't
#wanna be bigger or smaller? guess what! you are. bazinga#if you're insecure bc you feel they're too big then gaslight people#and if you feel insecure bc you think they're too small you can STILL gaslight people#got D cups? the Average Cup Size Across America? the normal one? the size medium?#you can tell people you have an F cup. they are so stupid#E cups? oh you're actually a large C#got C cups and you show a little bit of cleavage? guess what. DDs. nobody has any clue#I'm sure your breasts are great comrade#sergle answers
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Izutsumi vocally brushing off the party's concerns about succubi by saying "well I don't want anyone so I'll be fine" but then being clearly upset when she's able to fight back against them because 'does that mean I'm a heartless monster?' was certainly a hit in the aro feelings
#I mean the succubi were pretending to be her mom but still#the outward 'i'm fine i don't need anything'#vs the inner insecurity#kat reads dungeon meshi#and with that my chat shift is up I will pause for now
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hi, all time low motivation rn because i've gotten to the point I'll only post a moodboard when it's absolutely perfect, so it's very rare if i even post 1/10 of my newest drafts 😭 i'm very sorry!!! trying vv hard to bounce back i swear
#i've been very slow posting already but fr now i'm the slowest ever??#still very actively interacting with other blogs since i open this app every day but mine isn't very active rn#deepest apologizesssss😭😭😭💔💔#i don't think anyone is gonna read this far into my tags but i've been in a dark ass place cuz i'm struggling w insecurities more than ever
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