#I'm sorry he's such a dick

[enemiesofinnocence]

'i think you were really reluctant to take accountability for that.'

RANDOM LINES OF DIALOGUE PROMPTS - OPEN @primalvessel

It came to something when Khum'a didn't even know what he was supposed to take accountability for?

Taking all the hits from their latest hunt? Being the best badass he could be out in the field?

Or for the fact that Grievous McSpear fancied his chances and stood right in the line of fire?

Whichever one was the case (chances were it was none of those things and Khum'a just didn't enjoy being corrected by anyone at any time) the blond certainly didn't take kindly to the remark, and it showed with the furrow of his brow and the barring of sharp teeth.

"Can see why they call you Griever. 'Cus you ain't been nothing but grief the entire time we been out here, yeah?!" A spread of both hands as though to present the situation he spoke of to his fellow Miqo'te.

"Why don't you kiss my hairy blond ass before you start accusing me of shit?"

[purpleangiie]

Damian: "Grayson, what are you staring at?"

Dick: "Sh!"

Tim: "Leave him be, D. He's emotional."

Damian: "Over what?"

Dick, staring at the two quiet figures in front of them: "Would you believe that? Jason and Bruce existing in the same space and not throwing a tantrum, but actually behaving like two adults? They're even working together at the same desk. Unbelievable."

Damian: "Wait, has father just ruffled Todd's hair?"

Dick: "And he didn’t even punched him back! I'm so proud of how far they both have come. *sniff* Now we could all be one happy family."

Damiam: *looking absolutely bewildered, gazing up at Tim who just shrugs*

Tim: "Give them 15 minutes."

Damian: "12."

---

Jason: "Bruce. Bruce WHERE IS MY PEN?"

Bruce: "Y-your pen, Jason?"

Jason: "Oh my god. You don't even remember it. My pen, Bruce. My personalized red and golden Montblanc you gifted me for my 14th birthday. I left it here, where is it? You threw it away, didn't you? LIKE YOU DID WITH ANY REGARD YOU EVER HAD FOR ME AND MY FEELINGS? DID YOU FORGET I WAS YOUR SON TOO? WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO LOVE ME?"

Dick: "Damn! We got so close."

Tim: "And that'd be 10 minutes and 35 seconds."

Damian: "-TT- Pay up, Drake."

[aingeal98]

Ultimately the resolution of Jason and Cass fights comes down to the fact that while he has his own ideals that don't mesh with the bats, Jason can be flexible. DC skipped the whole reconciliation with the family but while he's willing to kill it's generally a means to an end to him, not the whole entire point unless you're talking about Joker. Meanwhile for Cass the question of killing vs not killing is dead serious to her which means any time they're working together and things start going off track it's like:

Jason: Look if we kill this guy we send a message to his boss which makes it easier for us to negotiate with him from a position of power and I just think that-

Cass, snatching one of his guns and pointing it at her own head: Go on, pull the trigger. Kill him. Kill me. Go tell Batman that you let his daughter die to make a negotiation easier. He already let you die so no problem right? You think we should die? You think our life only worthwhile as part of a plan, just because we're killers? Are we doomed? Are we rotten to the core with no hope of redemption? Go on then, kill us and kill part of your soul alongside it. You clearly don't care for it so why are you even trying? Kill yourself along with us, come on Jason let's all just die right?

Jason, slowly backing away: I think you may be projecting a tiny bit so just. Calm down before I call the suicide hotline please.

Cass, slowly lowering the gun and knocking the random henchman unconscious: Yeah that's what I thought, fucking pussy.

Jason: Mm yeah you know what I hate you actually. Fuck this mission I'll just shoot you right now if you're going to be this annoying about it.

Jason, explaining things later to Dick: So I just kept shooting at her until I ran out of bullets and we both calmed down enough to call a truce. We tracked the guy down and didn't kill anyone but I did blow up the batplane just as a last minute screw you. Is she always this uh... intense?

Dick: Yeah, one time I broke up with Barbara and she threw me out a window. She's just like that.

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[violent138]

On a very stupid note, can you imagine how embarrassing it is for Bruce Wayne, the most paranoid and secretive man on earth, that whenever there's drama in his family it inevitably reaches a significant portion of the superhero community?

And he can't even go after any one person, because Alfred would tell Dick (who tells Wally and Donna, especially if it was really stupid), Steph would tell Kara (who would tell Clark, who would tell Diana, who already knew via Donna), and Tim would tell Kon, Damian would tell Jon and Connor, Duke tells Jason about it, and because Wally told Barry Hal now knows (and other Lanterns), J'onn knew because Bruce was fuming and Clark was trying to figure out how to bring it up, Cass told Dinah and Barbara so now the entirety of the Arrowfam and Birds of Prey know too and so on.

[varpusvaras]

Jason arriving home with a black eye and split lip: hey

Roy: hey. Oof, that looks bad

Jason: yeah, well, you know how it is-

Roy: yeah, Gotham, am I right?

Jason: -Batman doesn't kill you but he hits hard

Roy: 😀 what?

[farshootergotme]

My toxic trait is that my favoritism for Dick Grayson has no bounds.

[black-lone-knight]

It's been two days since Dick’s arrival at the Wayne Manor. Currently Dick is holding a magazine with a picture of him and Bruce on its cover.

Dick: What's a DILF?

Bruce, chocks on his tea: What?!

Dick, shows the cover: Here, it says you're a DILF.

Bruce: Ah, it means...

Bruce: ...

Bruce: a Dad who Is Loving and Fantastic.

...

Months later.

Superman: Batman has told me a lot about you.

Dick as Robin, enthusiastic: He has?

Superman: Yes, your Dad loves you so much.

Robin: Holy hotdogs! He's a real DILF.

Superman:

Superman:

Superman: Oh yeah... He certainly is.

[ghouljams]

Thinking long and hard about one of the guys being long and hard

You know who has literally the prettiest dick you've ever seen? Kyle "Gaz" Garrick. It's such a perfect length, bigger than average but also proportionally thick and with such soft skin it feels like you're running your tongue along velvet. Just an absolute a dream to get your mouth on. He keeps well trimmed too, the dark curls around the base cropped short and the balls nicely shaved. He likes seeing you duck down and lick at his sack, running your tongue over the stubbly hair before sucking his balls into your mouth. God, it's such a lovely feeling to have your mouth full of him, your tongue licking at the heavy balls, feeling the way they bunch and the skin pulls taught.

You look up at him through fluttering lashes and he's watching you with his irises swallowed by greedy pupils, his hand moving to rest on your head and pull you closer. You keep flicking your tongue out to lap at the skin you can't get in your mouth, shivering when you lick over the tight pucker of his ass. You have to pull back then, letting his balls pop from your mouth and pressing a final kiss to them before taking his perfect cock in your mouth again. So thick and warm in your hand, heavy when he slaps it against your tongue, slaps it against your cheek with his brows pinched together and a patronizing coo. Fuck he makes you want to stay down here for hours.

[the-graves-family]

Aaron shrugs, a little put off. It's not like he's an expert on ghosts, either. Oliver makes him angry, no surprise, but he also finds himself not really being able to navigate interacting with the spirit.

He hates it.

There's several point in time where he could have offered to help. But he doesn't. And he's glad he doesn't, because Oliver jumping away from the washing machine like it's going to explode is the funniest fucking thing he's seen all year.

"Oh, my god," Aaron wheezes, doubled over laughing. "That was pathetic."

Oliver looks over at Aaron like he just said something stupid. Which he did. In his eyes, at least.

“I’m a spirit, not a wizard.” He answers, sounding as if he’s genuinely confused by Aaron’s question. “I believe I’d be better dressed if I had the ability to create clothing at will.”

Looking back towards the controls, he throws all attempts at getting it correct out the window, instead turning any arrow and pressing any button he thought was correct. “And I wouldn’t be attempting this either—”

The sudden sound of the washer loudly beginning to rinse his shirt cuts him off, arm jolting away from the machine as if he accidentally touched something that he shouldn’t have. It doesn’t end up exploding as he had suspected, and he clears his throat when he realizes.

[littlefankingdom]

I fucking hate when one of my silly incorrect quotes post is successful and people reblogged it with some Bruce's slander. Get the fuck off my post.

"Talia took care of Jason because Bruce abandoned him."

Wtf are you talking about. Bruce didn't abandoned Jason, he died. And he didn't abandoned him when he came back, Jason was not in the right to ask people to prove their love to him by killing others. And he also tried to kill the Joker after Jason died, he thought he had succeeded. Like, shut the fuck up.

"I don't give Bruce credit for anything regarding Dick's education."

Well, who the fuck raised him from 8 to 18 then? Alfred Pennyworth? The same Alfred Pennyworth that raised Bruce Wayne? The one that maintained the "employee/employer" distance with the grieving child he raised. Look at young adult Bruce Wayne and I dare you to tell me Alfred Pennyworth can raise a child better than Bruce, I dare you. And don't you fucking dare blaming Bruce for it, that would be ableist af to fucking blame him for being mentally ill and labelled it as "difficult", I don't tolerate that shit. Bruce Wayne was there for Dick when he lost his parents, he helped that kid through grief and showed him love, he held him close contrary to how Alfred held him. He taught him how to be a great detective, how to be a great fighter, and all he wanted was Dick to be a better man than him. Go tell that bs to your fav and see if he agrees (he doesn't, Dick doesn’t agree and would bite your head off for saying that)

[dragonpyre]

Anyone who knew Jason before he died can only ever see him as baby. Sorry, I don't make the rules

Commission info ko-fi

[shrub-jay]

Wes Weston: IRS.

Wes Weston is used to billionaires having sketchy finances. An offshore account here, and offshore account there-- A second home in a tax haven. He's never seen books like Wayne Enterprise's before.

"What even is BASE jumping? Why do they have a whole Applied Sciences department with only one guy working in it?" Wesley Weston had questions for Bruce Wayne. Questions he would get answered, if the billionaire was ever actually in his office. This was why he found himself rumbling up to the Wayne's well manicured, monoculture lawn in an only slightly questionable Uber.

"Wes Weston, IRS," he whispers, practicing under his breath before knocking on the door. "Wes Weston. IRS," he says more confidently, fumbling to get his badge out of his pocket. The door swung open, and he jumped. Goddamn rich people with their motion detecting doorbells.

"Dick Grayson, Blüdhaven P.D."

---

Wes Weston stood back from his cork board as rain pelted his hotel room window.

"Holy ghost. Bruce Wayne is the fucking Batman."

[rainybraindays]

Not to be that bitch, but if you're out here still saying Colin never apologized for the whole "I would never court Penelope Featherington" i think you need to maybe actually rewatch episode 1.

He very much does, as soon as he can once hes aware he hurt her. He addresses literally everything Penelope said hurt her about it. He says what he said was cruel and hurtful, he says that hes not embarrassed by her, he tells her hes changed and regrets doing something that hurt her. Its the most genuine apology anyone in this show has given.

How any of you have walked away from that seeing it as a fake apology makes me genuinely question what you think an apology is. Is he meant to fall on his knees crying and begging her to move on? Thats not an apology. Is he supposed to go "I'm sorry I fucked up, you're actually soso cool and so much better than me and everyone else" because thats love bombing.

Colin did it right, he came to her privately, apologized, addressed how he hurt her, reassured her he's not embarrassed of her and views her as his best friend, and said that he'd changed. Thats the correct way to apologize, thats how adults communicate. Everything that happened after that was in response to Penelopes frustration at her inability to be someone viewed as desirable in their society, and Colins want to prove how much he cares about her.

If we want to talk about non-apologies in this show, Colin is far from the first character in that line.

[violent138]

The Batkids buy food for each other to circumvent having to apologize. Usually it works, with mutual nods or a question about whether [pickle/extra sauce/specificity] was included. And when it fails you best believe the sibling who messed up chases down the other to somehow force the food onto them and extract an apology. I'm talking city wide chases where Red Hood's bazooka-ing pancakes at a sibling (Condiment King tries to get in on it and gets smacked down for his troubles). Robin sends Red Robin crashing into a Red Robin joint because he's sorry. Or Spoiler being taken out of commission when Batgirl accidentally smacks her in the face with a takeout bag to apologize for knocking her out.

[loljkgonnauseadifferentmainblog]

"But that's my point!" Kedzie stretched out on the couch. "People train for all their lives and still end up dead right out of the gate. Or some twink from Eight surprises them in the night. Something always happens." He waved his hand dismissively in the air.

"It's not the training, it's not the weaponry. It's useful, sure. But it's the focus that gets people killed. Or the lack of it." He clapped his hands together, glee evident in his face. "That and failed diplomacy. You be too nice? Dead. You be too cruel? Dead. Gotta thread the line so, so carefully."

He finally looked over at Greer, a small smile on his face. "The something easier is people. I've been thinking. I'll bet I can get in good with that spunky kid from One. Maybe the woman from Four. Keep them on my good side, and then push 'em off a cliff or something when the time's right. Who do you think you can influence from your side of things?"

"You're good at most everythin'?" Greer asked dryly. Tributes from Ten were usually panicked about all the things they didn't know, or maybe they had one or two skills they tried to cling to with an iron grip. Kedzie's comment would've made her laugh, if it hadn't been so irritating. "S'all fuckin' hard," she snapped. "You ever lifted anythin' before?" She asked, baffled he thought he'd be able to start swinging a sword around without any training. "There are people who train with swords for over a decade before they hit the Arena and still get killed. You can't jus' pick up one'a the heaviest weapons in the trainin' center and expect it to be useful. Pick somethin' easier."