#this was A and B was like a side hug pose to the camera LOL

[batbabydamian]

Jorge Jimenez C2E2 2024 Commission!

[karajaynetoday]

ours, for the rest of forever | ashton irwin

Hello friends! Here is a godparent!Ash one shot, based on this blurb about being godparents with Ashton and also inspired in part by that scene in Season 5 of One Tree Hill when Brooke is randomly looking after a baby but has to also finish fashion sketches so Lucas comes to her rescue with babysitting and it is overall very soft and cute. You know the one! Lol. 

A very big thank you to Jex @sadistmichael​ , Anna @cheekysos​ , Jae @jae-writes-fanfiction​ and Hailey @talkfastromance4​ for proof-reading and providing feedback on this when it was in its draft stages. You’re all absolute gems! 

Anyway, enjoy the softness and as always, please let me know what you think! I’ve got some thoughts for a potential part 2, so we’ll wait and see how part 1 goes :)

(This is a fem reader insert)

Word count: 3.3k words

Warnings: none

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

When your best friend Alice told you she was having a baby, you were over the moon. She was honestly one of the most kind-hearted people you knew, and the amount of love in her heart for others would only bloom more for a little baby to hold and cherish. Her partner James had been by Alice’s side since your university days, and their relationship was one that was literally #goals. They’d moved over to Los Angeles because James had an opportunity to work at an indie creative agency working with music artists, and when you followed a year or so later to pursue a consulting job, they’d welcomed you with open arms into the little community they’d formed of Australian ex-pats, LA creatives and generally good quality, salt of the earth people. 

In the early days, there were lots of late nights (that became early mornings) running amok in West Hollywood, going from one house party to the next, but as you grew older, it became more likely to be a quiet Sunday sesh in someone’s backyard, with a barbeque cooking and someone playing their favourite tunes on a portable speaker while you floated in the swimming pool or lounged about on the grass with everyone’s various pets in attendance. When you met Ashton, he was drumming shirtless at his own house party, and then doing shots with James and their friend Calum. You were more than a little intimidated, although he had a kind face and welcoming nature, Ashton was forthcoming his opinions. On the other hand, you were always more reserved, and it took you  time to feel like you belonged with their crazy crew of friends. One night, you and Ashton ended up alone in the kitchen sharing some chicken nuggets and potato gems tater tots after a wild night on the house part dancefloor, and from there you could feel a solid friendship starting to take hold. 

A few months after Alice and James told you they were expecting, they’d invited you and Ashton out to brunch at one of your favourite spots. It was a little hole-in-the-wall café in Studio City that you’d first come to after Ashton wouldn’t stop raving about how good their iced coffees were. You all ordered your favourites (avocado smash with a side of smoked salmon and a hash brown for you, raspberry hotcakes for Alice, a breakfast burger for James, and pulled pork eggs benedict with a side of halloumi for Ashton) and were chatting away about your weeks at work when Alice reached down and pulled two envelopes out of her tote bag and handed on to you and one to Ashton. You took them, looking confusedly at Alice and James, who had big goofy smiles on their faces.

“Well, go on! Open them!” Alice half-shouted excitedly, squeezing James’ hand on top of the table. You and Ashton glanced at each other, perplexed, before tearing open the envelopes and finding a card inside. Yours read, “Will you be my godmother?” in gold writing on the front, and inside was an ultrasound photo with a handwritten note from Alice that made you tear up when you started reading it. You could see in your peripheral vision that Ash had a corresponding card in his envelope too, and he was standing up to give James and Alice a hug with an enthusiastic “Fuck YES! Of course I will!” that garnered some disapproving looks from the middle-aged women sitting near you. You held it together just enough to stand up and exchange hugs and choke out a “Y-y-yes” to Alice and James, before basically bursting into full blown tears of happiness and apologising profusely as your brunch was delivered to the table. As you wiped away your tears and managed to begin eating your avocado smash, you felt Ashton squeeze your hand reassuringly under the table, and when you glanced towards him he was grinning at you with a smile that was as bright as a thousand suns. 

It was a normal June day at the office a few months later when your phone pinged with a text from Alice in your group chat with her, James and Ashton that 

 read “It’s go-time. We’ll keep you updated!”. You replied with lots of exclamation points and crying emojis, and for Alice and James to let you know if they needed anything, and a few minutes later Ashton had penned a full paragraph about the beauty of the creation of life, how he knew that Alice and James would be incredible parents, and that he couldn’t wait to meet the little one once they made their way into the world. Ashton was frustratingly eloquent sometimes. Later that night, you received a photo message of a small, pink baby snuggled up on Alice’s chest, with James’ arm thrown around her shoulders, and the caption “Charlie Rose, ten fingers, ten toes. Come visit tomorrow, she can’t wait to meet you x” and you could barely sleep from the anticipation of meeting your darling goddaughter for the first time.

Ashton insisted on meeting you at the hospital so you could visit Alice, James and Charlie together (“Dude, we’re a godparent team here! A package deal! A dynamic duo! Can’t have you getting in there as the favourite from day one!”) and you’d never seen him more gentle or smitten than when the small, wriggly bundle of blankets that was Charlie Rose was placed in his arms. Ashton rocked her gently, kissing her head, and whispering to her about how incredible she was and how excited he was to see her grow. James was snapping away with his camera, and he asked you and Ash to stand together for a photo holding Charlie, which would later be stuck on your fridge for years to come (and possibly be your phone lockscreen, but no need to mention that to Ashton). 

Charlie was a tricky baby at first, resisting sleep and struggling with colic, but Alice and James were incredible and persistent and by the time she was 6 months old, they basically had the hang of this parenting thing. They didn’t want to christen Charlie in a church, but instead decided to hold one of your cherished backyard barbeques as a naming celebration for her. All of your nearest and dearest were there, and Alice’s mum had even flown in from Australia to meet her newest granddaughter. Despite it being an incredibly informal affair, Ashton insisted on making a speech about how he felt to be in Charlie’s life, to love and support her through every milestone and challenge she might encounter along the way. Charlie was happily gurgling in Ashton’s arms as he spoke, and she reached up to grab at his cheeks when he told her he loved her. Alice’s mum insisted on getting photos of everyone, including you and Ashton holding Charlie, and you tried to ignore the butterflies you felt when Ash slid his arm around your waist and pulled you into his side for a cosy photo pose. Were you actually starting to fall for him, or was it just the baby fever talking? Because damn, that man looked good with a baby in his arms.

When Charlie was almost 12 months old, Alice decided that she wanted to go back to work a few days a week. Charlie would be in childcare for most of the days, but you’d recently adopted a flexible working arrangement with your own office, and you insisted that you would love to look after Charlie for one day a week. The older Charlie got, the more adventurous she became, so what you’d originally envisioned as nice, quiet days of baking and craft activities and napping soon became full of visits to the playground and the beach and the zoo. Once Ashton heard about your regular babysitting day, he insisted on clearing his schedule as best he could, and joined the outings you and Charlie went on. It’s so much easier to cope with her boundless energy (and occasional temper tantrums) when you and Ash are together, and you have to admit it’s just as nice on the quieter days as well, when you snuggle in on your couch to watch a Disney movie, or do some puzzles with Charlie on the lounge room floor. 

When Ashton was back out on tour, he’d insist on FaceTiming with you and Charlie on your babysitting day so he didn’t miss out on all the fun. Sometimes he’d read her a story or sing her a lullaby before naptime, and sometimes the timezones wouldn’t work out and he’d end up calling during naptime, so the two of you just spent a little time catching up on each other’s lives from your opposite sides of the country or the planet. Ashton also loved collecting little souvenirs for Charlie on his touring travels, and your group chat with Alice and James was regularly filled with photos of snow globes or little soft mascot toys he’d found in one city or the next. It was so cute how excited Ashton got when he found a new souvenir for Charlie, and you couldn’t help but imagine how adorable he’d be when he had his own children and carried on little traditions like this for them too. 

One particular weekend, Alice and James were going away overnight to attend a friend’s wedding nearby, and despite their anxiety and nerves (and admittedly, your own), they decided to leave Charlie with you for the night as your house is the main one besides their own that she spends time in. They dropped Charlie off just after lunchtime, and after a teary goodbye, she’s soon happily playing with her toy cars and trains on the lounge room carpet (including making broom-broom noises, what a cutie) when you get an unexpected call from your boss. They’re rambling about a client needing an urgent rewrite on something that you’d submitted the previous day, a pretty sizeable project, and you could feel yourself starting to fill with dread at the idea of having to rework the entire thing while also keeping Charlie happy and entertained. After managing to jot down the gist of the rewrite on the back of a colouring in page you found on your coffee table and ending the call with your boss, you took a deep, calming breath before looking over to where Charlie was still playing on the floor. Sure, she looked content and adorable now, but nap time was fast approaching, and then dinner, and then eventually bedtime, and there was nothing Charlie liked more than stomping her feet and putting up a fight where sleep was involved. It was time to call for help, and your fingers found Ashton’s contact in your phone and hit “call” before you realised what you were doing.

“Hey, how’s it going with my favourite girl?” Ashton answered cheerily, and your heart stopped beating for a moment before you mentally face-palmed when you realised that he was talking about Charlie, not you, being his favourite girl.

“Hey Ash! All good so far, but um… I think I’m going to need some help. My boss is having a crisis, so I need to smash out some edits and new content in the next three hours, but Charlie’s due to go for a nap and you know that she -” You could feel yourself starting to sound more panicked with each word that you spoke, but Ashton quickly cut you off with his soothing voice.

“That she likes to pick a fight at nap time, yes. A truly assertive future world leader on our hands, I reckon. I’m just finishing up a demo, but I’ll be there in 20 minutes. I’ll sort dinner as well, spaghetti sound okay?” He mused, sounding as calm as ever.

“That… would be amazing. Thank you. You’re actually the best human to exist, you know that?” You gushed, feeling some of your anxiety immediately begin to disappear. 

Within half an hour, Ash was in your lounge room handling Charlie’s nap time negotiations while you were furiously typing away at your laptop at the kitchen counter and fielding more frantic phone calls from your boss. Another 20 minutes passed before Ash proclaimed victory as Charlie lost her battle against sleep, and he came to see you in the kitchen and make a start on dinner. You were so lost in your task that you didn’t hear him come in, and you jumped a mile out of your seat in fright when he gently touched your shoulder in greeting.

“Jesus christ, Ash! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” You huffed, taking your glasses off and rubbing your eyes in exhaustion. 

Ashton leaned on the counter opposite you and raised his eyebrows in concern. “Sorry love, didn’t realise you didn’t hear me come in. You good?” 

Damn it, why was he always so nice to you these days? Remember the days when you were scared of him because he used to argue with you about politics and the state of the world? Why did those seem somehow easier because fear was more natural to you than whatever this other feeling was that you were starting to have whenever Ashton was around you. 

You sighed and put your glasses back on, frowning briefly at the screen before hitting save one more time (just in case your bad luck took a turn and fucked you over with lost documents). 

“Yep. Sorry. It’s just been a bit of a day. Did Charlie go down okay?” You forced a smile as you glanced up at Ashton over the top of your laptop screen. 

“Yeah, she gave in once I offered another bedtime singalong. And maybe, juuuust maybe, I might have mentioned something about some sweets after dinner…” Ash looked at you guiltily, licking his lips nervously. You rolled your eyes and shook your head at him, but you couldn’t keep the small smile off your face.

Ashton got started on making spaghetti while you tapped away at your computer, and soon enough you heard Charlie calling out for Ashton in her little sing-song voice on the baby monitor you had set up on the kitchen counter (“Asht-aaaaa! Where are youuuuu! Asht-aaaaa!”). The spaghetti smelled incredible, and when Ashton brought Charlie into the kitchen from her nap and she’d had a little while to play a bit more, you settled at the kitchen table to tuck into some dinner. Well, Charlie was more interested in playing with her food than actually eating it, but yours was delicious and for the third or fourth time that day, you thanked Ash profusely for being such a gem (to which he just gave you one of those dazzling smiles in response).  

After dinner, Ashton took Charlie for a bath and read her a bedtime story while you powered through the final part of the project edits you needed to finish before your boss burst a blood vessel. You could hear Ashton reading to Charlie on the baby monitor, doing all of the different character voices, and her little giggles in response were both breaking and warming your heart. Warming it with the cuteness and how much you loved that little girl and her cheeky soul, and breaking it with the guilt about how it was supposed to be you snuggled up reading to her, but instead you were frantically typing about key messages, marketing strategies and budget lines. You were doing your last section of re-writes when Ash came back into the kitchen, and this time you didn’t jump when he gently placed his hands on your shoulders. In fact, you leaned into his touch, and moaned quietly in relief as his thumbs began to work into the tension in your muscles.

“How’s it going?” Ashton asked quietly, continuing to press his hands into your back and shoulders.

“Almost there. Mostly just proof-reading now, and then I can send it and not fucking think about it for another second until at least Monday. Ash, I’m so sorry again, I know this isn’t what you had in mind for your Friday night and I should’ve been more organised but I just didn’t think that -” You began to ramble, feeling the guilt wash over you.

“Hey, hey. Stop. It’s fine. We’re a team, remember? The dynamic duo? Gotta stick together. We’ve got a whole lifetime of dealing with Charlie meltdowns and milestones ahead of us, love. It’s our job and our blessing, for the rest of forever. Don’t feel guilty over one night.” Ashton said softly, squeezing your shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. There were those butterflies again, and your skin was almost burning from where his hands had touched you. You simply nodded at his words, before returning to your laptop and the task at hand. Ashton stepped away and quietly began washing the dishes (honestly, is there anything this man didn’t do?) as you began typing again. 

Finally, about twenty minutes later, you hit send on the email to your boss with the completed rewrites, and shut your laptop with a deep sense satisfaction, letting out a triumphant whisper-yell, mindful of the sleeping child down the hallway from you. Ash looked up from where he was sat on the couch, scrolling on his phone, and rushed over to high-five you when he realised that you’d shut your laptop.

“Right. You go shower and I’ll put the kettle on, then it’s one episode of Sons of Anarchy and then off to bed with you.” Ash began, tugging you out of your seat and pushing you towards your bedroom before you could protest.

“Wait… how did you know I was watching Sons of Anarchy?!” You turned and asked, with one hand on the door to your bedroom.

“I was stalking through your Netflix earlier when you were lost in editing land. Plus, I know you can’t resist a charming male lead who has a killer smile and looks damn good in a leather jacket.” Ash chuckled, shooting you a wink and one of those goddamn smiles. 

You hated to admit it, but you felt so much better after your shower, and having Ash pull your feet up over his lap and absentmindedly run his hands softly across your legs from time to time wasn’t exactly bad either. You stuck to your promise of only one episode of Sons of Anarchy, and after pulling your groaning self up off the couch and jokingly half-carrying you to your bedroom door, Ashton bid you goodnight with a hug and a kiss to the forehead before disappearing into your guest room. 

As you settled into your own bed, alone, and pulled the blankets up over you, you couldn’t help but think how nice it was to have Ash so present with you and with Charlie, and how sweet it would be in the morning to wake up together in the same house and go for breakfast at your favourite little brunch spot down the street, before waiting for James and Alice to return in the early afternoon. It was all your own little family unit, and as you felt yourself being lulled into sleep, you also felt a deep sense of content in your heart about the loved ones in your life. And then also there were those butterflies, just slowly but surely making their presence known, and getting a little bigger every time you thought of Ashton, and how much he loved Charlie, and how much she loved him and you, and how much you loved them both.

Shit. Did you actually love him? Were you falling in love with Ashton Irwin? Before you could panic too much, the need for sleep won out, and you slept peacefully knowing two of your favourite people were also sleeping calmly in the rooms either side of you. 

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

[love-little-lotte]

POTO Manila 2019 Experience

I crossed one thing off my bucket list last March 2, 2019. 

Finally, finally, finally. I finally got the chance to witness my all-time favorite musical, The Phantom of the Opera, live. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am totally in love with this show. 

I first learned about the existence of POTO when I was 10, when I first read an abridged version of the Gaston Leroux novel. Then I watched the 2004 film, starring Gerard Butler and Emmy Rossum. Ever since then, I fell in love with the musical. I listened to the Original London Cast, with Michael Crawford, Sarah Brightman, and Steve Barton. I watched the 25th anniversary, with Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess. I streamed countless YouTube videos. I wrote down the lyrics, memorized them by heart, and sang along even though I couldn’t reach the high notes, not for the life of me. 

POTO became one of my passions, and (yes it sounds cheesy AF) also helped me become the person who I am today. It’s not my first musical (family friendly The Sound of Music is my first because my mom plays the Julie Andrews movie all the time), but it opened my obsession to musical theatre. Through POTO, I got to learn more about Broadway, theatre, and musicals. 

I have my brother to thank for this wonderful experience. This was meant to be a birthday and graduation present all rolled into one. And it’s actually the best present I’ve ever received. Not only did he pay for all of my expenses, he also accompanied me and took my pictures! Shoutout to him for making one of my major dreams come true.

This was taken on our way to the theatre. It was a one-show day, and the play was going to start at 2:30 PM. I heard from my friend (who already saw the previews) told me I should be there as early as possible so I can take a lot of pictures before most of the audience arrive. And since I want to take as many photos as I can, my brother and I left our hotel as early as 12 noon. 

I was so excited I even took a photo of the theatre while we were in the car. My heart was pounding the entire time. My head was reeling. I still couldn’t believe I was there. It felt like a dream I had before. And believe me when I say I dreamt a lot for this moment. 

When we got closer to the theatre, I saw a big poster just right outside. I gave out an excited squeal. “I got to take a picture of that!” I told my brother. 

And so I did. 

Before entering, we noticed there was some Phantom stuff just right outside by the entrance. Aside from the make-up closet (which is self-explanatory), I didn’t know what was inside of the rest of the boxes but I still took some photos nonetheless. I still had a lot of energy around this time. 

This was by the entrance: some posters of the musical productions that toured in Manila before. (From left to right: Chicago, Singin’ in the Rain, Les Misérables, Wicked, West Side Story, and The Sound of Music)

After entering the building, I saw this amazing backdrop and of course, immediately posed in front of it......

.....only to learn the words “The Phantom of the Opera” were cropped so I told my brother we had to go back so we can take a proper picture again. 

And there we go. 

We went to the second floor afterwards, which was where the theatre was located. And this was when the “taking of photos” spree began. 

Exhibit A: Mask, roses, and candelabras. Yep, that’s the whole show right there. 

I’m kind of bummed that they didn’t really have a photoshoot for the World Tour. I mean it’s nice to see Kelly Matheison from the West End cast because she’s adorable and gorgeous, but I would love to see some Meghan Picerno HD posters too. 

Don’t mind me, I’m just posing here with the POTO posters. 

Exhibit B: Ah love this shiny, sparkly mask. Yes, the pic is sadly a bit blurry. 

Exhibit C: My brother told me to go sit down on the floor and pretend to be Christine, but there was no way I’m doing that with that dress. I wanted to put on the cloak and the mask, but decided I should go with the rose instead. 

Exhibit D: “Look at yourself in the mirror, I am there inside!” This is my favorite picture, which also refers to my favorite part in the musical. 

Exhibit E: Yeah at this point I was running out of poses. Standing and smiling at the camera was getting boring. 

Oh, and would you look at this! A production of Cats in November 2019, starring Joanna Ampil! Isn’t that amazing? She’s one of my favorite theatre actresses and I would kill to see her sing Memory live.

Anyway, what’s up with the Philippines and Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals?

Yeah, what is up with Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Philippines? We just can’t get enough of it. I’d definitely want to watch Love Never Dies when it comes to Manila, even though I’m not such a big fan of the story. The music is brilliant, as well as the sets and costumes. Can we please have Meghan Picerno as Christine Daaé in this production once again? (And maybe throw in Jonathan Roxmouth, too, cause people love him so much here.)

At this point, my brother already left me. He went back to the hotel while I sat on one of the couches, waiting for the theatre to let the audience in. I took a selfie with the brochure. I thought we were all given a program for free, but it turns out you still have to buy them in the gift shop. 

Yay! I’m finally inside. I was in the second row, which was very thrilling, especially since the chandelier was really close to me. I couldn’t wait for it to fall down at the end of Act 1!

Sadly, this is the only picture I had inside the theatre. I was so busy taking it all in that I forgot to take a selfie or something. I still couldn’t believe I was there.

I cried as soon as the overture began to play. There are three possible reasons why I did so: one, I can’t believe I’m really here; two, the music was so beautiful, and three, the light from the chandelier made my eyes hurt lol. But, whatever the reason was, I assure you, there were some tears.

My first genuine cry was during The Mirror scene, when the Phantom showed himself in the mirror. It’s just a super iconic scene, and truly one of my favorites.

But the major highlight for me was Masquerade. Sure, I was expecting myself to cry during All I Ask of You (Reprise) or the Final Lair, but Masquerade overwhelmed me. The costumes were amazing up close! I’ve mentioned a lot of times before that POTO costumes are my favorite things ever. The intricately-designed Elissa dress, the fan-favorite Wishing dress, the iconic white robe, and of course, my personal favorite Aminta dress.

But the costumes during Masquerade was the highlight. I didn’t know where to look because I want to take it all in! The ensemble were great, too, and there was just a big fat stupid grin on my face the whole time.

You know, live theatre isn’t that perfect. I can hear the whirring of the machines as they change the backdrop and their heels clicking loudly onstage. I see them spit at each other’s faces. But damn it, it was beautiful. It’s raw and real, which is what theatre is all about. 

Sorry for the bad angle haha. This was the cast I saw my first POTO production and I’m eternally grateful at them for giving me a performance to remember. I was just so excited to see that I’m going to watch Jonathan Roxmouth and Meghan Picerno! I’ve seen a lot of videos of them rehearsing, and they both sounded heavenly. I was grinning from ear-to-ear.

Jonathan Roxmouth didn’t fail me. His voice was soft and angelic, and he truly embodied the Angel of Music. I got chills during The Mirror scene, as soon as he sang the words, “Insolent boy!” His Music of the Night was a spectacle, and his height difference with Meghan Picerno also helped. I don’t know why, but I really love it when the Phantom’s a great taller than Christine. Meghan only reached Jonathan’s chest, so their iconic “hug” scene during MoTN looked really good. He also glanced at me during All I Ask of You (Reprise) as he sang the words, “You will curse the day you did not do, all that the Phantom asked of you!” So that truly “made my night.”

Jonathan also scared the crap out of me during the Final Lair. He was truly menacing and just plain scary. I love scary Phantoms, and he definitely delivered! When he said the line, “You try my patience! Make your choice”, he put his face really close to Meghan, and I could definitely see him seethe angrily at her.

But he gained my sympathy in the last part when he started singing Masquerade to the music box. At that point, I was crying my eyes out already. I hope the people in my row didn’t judge me too harshly! No matter how many times I’ve seen POTO, I always cry during the Masquerade reprise.

On a side note, Jonathan’s really adorable in the curtain call. He made a Korean heart sign just after he bowed. Korean culture is really popular in the Philippines for some reason, and he earned a lot of laughs and claps from the audience when he did so.

Meghan Picerno, on the other hand, was the sweetest and sympathetic Christine ever. Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch since she’s the first Christine I saw live, and I’m a bit biased. Her crystal-clear vocals also didn’t fail. I’ve seen videos of her in Love Never Dies, and she was amazing there. Her Think of Me was just so pure, and her Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again made me teary eyed.

Meghan carried herself well. Not only was she a darling and innocent Christine, but she was also a fierce one too. During the Final Lair, when she said the words, “This haunted face holds no horror for me now, it’s in your soul that the true distortion lies”, her expression was not scared or anything. I just love that she could project a lot of emotions from Christine, and not only stick to one.

She also shared good chemistry with Jonathan Roxmouth, especially during The Point of No Return. The sexual tension between the Phantom and Christine was undeniable. The way they touched each other, even caressed each other in that scene was so, so, so good. It’s definitely one of the main highlights of the show for me.

And, of course, Matt Leisy was a darling Raoul. Just like his co-stars, his vocals were heavenly. His All I Ask of You is plain sweet. The way he hugged and twirled Christine at the end part of the song was also a major highlight for me. Also, he was very attentive to Christine, and he was protective of her - some important qualities that Raoul should have. In the Il Muto scene, when Christine started getting nervous that the Phantom was watching over her, I can’t help looking at Matt because he was so undeniably concerned and protective of her. And during Twisted Every Way, he was demanding, but at the same time, very considering.

Matt also worked well alongside Meghan. They balance well with each other. As a matter of fact, the three of them are great together. It’s obvious that they’re comfortable with each other onstage. The Final Lair was so thrilling, and it’s all thanks to them. I’m so happy that they get to be my first POTO Big 3.

Overall, the ensemble was great! I love them so much, and I’m extremely honored that I had them as my first ever POTO cast.

Also, bought two souvenirs from the gift shop! A really cute necklace (which costs 1,500 PHP/28.75 USD) and a tote bag (800 PHP/15.33 USD). I wanted to buy the charm bracelet, too, but I feel like I’m going to have more fun with the necklace, compared to it. 

And there you have it! This was an extremely long post, but I want to immortalize my first POTO experience. I’m still in cloud nine, even though it has been almost three days now. It’s truly an experience I will never forget.

[fluffypuppychan]

b1a4 in chicago!!!

wahhh okay i’m gonna try and write as much of this as i can remember. i’m gonna skip all of the “we had to wait in line forever” stuff b/c that’s boring and who cares lol

since i’m on my ipad (didn’t wanna carry computer w/me all the way to chicago) it’s hard to insert videos and pics and stuff so i’ll upload some of those moments separately and tag everything related to the concert under “b1a4chicago2k17”

one of my favorite things right off from the beginning is that the stage just consisted of the boys. it made the concert feel more intimate without all of the backup dancers and stage props. and they really knew how to work the stage i was so impressed by how much energy they had coming out c’:

and this might sound like a pretty obvious thing but oh my god they’re so SEXY!!! like i nearly passed out from watching them perform “oh my god” esp cnu he was always so extra with the body rolls i just really couldn’t with him even sandeul was really getting into it it was !!! so much fun to watch lol someone said to me while i was in line that after seeing a group live it’s possible for your bias to change...my bias hasn’t changed (i think lol) but omg i need a second to talk about baro

BARO

the king of fanservice and just being an overall sweetheart omg i don’t know what it was….maybe he could sense all of the baro stans were in our section (i think baro was the bias for at least 4 or 5 girls in my row lol) but he kept coming over to our section and staying for long periods of time and throwing us lots of hearts and waving and posing for the camera! the girl standing right next to me was a baro fan and i was screaming for her because he stopped in front of her camera SO MANY TIMES it was like they were silently communicating?? she didn’t even have a sign up with his name or anything like that idk it was just beautiful tbh baro really blew me away with how attentive he was with us i couldn’t handle it and gongchan too! gongchan came to our section a lot as well and he even stopped in front of my camera when he saw i was trying to take a picture and posed for me but the picture ended up grainy :cccc i’m so sad i didn’t act quick enough. he was so cute the entire time though, he really reminds me of a puppy in person and he was making me question my bias list lmao (i’m not gonna lie ok, i love all of the boys but channie…) jinyoung omg lol like...jinyoung was like so...mischievous? lol he was always pulling the weirdest expressions...lots of smug grins and questioning eyebrows raised at banas in this really “you’re being super cute but i’m also judging you rn” kinda way. i thought it was very fitting for his personality haha and he LOVED teasing us especially near the end with the bottles of water. he seriously got a kick out of it and it was the cutest thing to watch him really enjoy himself. also he DABBED and had the most smug grin afterwards and if anyone recorded this moment please send it to me b/c I NEED IT sandeul came over to our section a few times (AND EVEN GAVE ME A HEART) but he mostly stayed in the middle or off to the other side of the stage so i didn’t get many close ups of him unfortunately. there was a lot of back and forth between him and cnu (be still my shindeul bias heart) and as expected his vocals were AMAZING cnu was so cute okay he confused the heck out of me though like one second he was being really adorable and throwing us hearts and being a squishy lil thing and then he’d move his hips and i’d be like ???? then scream “SHIN DONGWOO!!!” (i screamed a lot...like a lot. the girls standing next to me would occasionally give me a look like they couldn’t believe i was screaming that loud lol and i screamed super loud whenever cnu was being RUDE (95% of the time) ) i screamed jinyoung’s name a lot too esp when he was looking in our direction and he’d wave (i was such a mess, most of the time it didn’t dawn on me to have my phone out while doing these things -.- i want to shake myself lol) also there were a couple of times when the boys asked us what our favorite songs off of good timing were and i kept screaming “together” and istg baro and cnu heard me a few times but they pretended they didn’t lol probably b/c they didn’t want to perform the song (idk why tho :ccc) other random things… i got to meet @sassy-lady-of-ithilien and she was so sweet and lovely it sucks we weren’t in the same section but i’m so happy i got to meet her and cry over cnu c’: there were a few times i met eyes w/jinyoung, cnu, and baro and i just didn’t know what to do with myself so i’d just wave and squeal like i didn’t know how to function lol the girl sitting next to me was a pro, every time they looked at her she threw them a heart and then they'd wave and throw one back lol (that’s where i got the idea to quickly throw one at sandeul c’:) did i mention baro ??? the time machine segment was a lot of fun and a lot of the crowd seemed to know those lyrics which i think energized the boys c: even though they only did parts of the songs it felt like “what’s happening” was a little longer than some of the others and people were REALLY loud during that, it was so great to hear!! i tried to capture most of that part on camera but then i got too into the music so i put my phone away lol i’ll upload w/e i have though “nightmare” was one of my favorite performances b/c the choreo is so sexy and cnu was REALLY feeling himself (which i love omg) and of course “good timing” was amazing b/c they closed with that song and everyone was so hype and the boys were teasing us and throwing water and it was wonderful close to the end baro was saying one of the things they love about chicago is the pizza and he was really sad b/c they didn’t have time to eat any and it was so cute b/c one of the girls behind me screamed “you can take my credit card!” lol 

and when he said it was time for she show to end and that they’d have to go back to korea soon to end everyone shouted “no!” and i told them not to go back to korea b/c we’ll miss them too much and they all looked so amused c’:

baro made us all put up our fingers and pinky swear we’d wait for them to come back again :c (ugh he’s so cute) also it was really cute when baro was teasing us behind stage before they came back for the encore. he’s sooooo…!!!

OKAY HI TOUCH imma be honest i don’t remember a whole lot but b/c it was so fast i mean their hands were so soft and they all looked so sweet i wanted to hug them :c BUT two things did stand out to me first, was BARO again, he was the first person in the line for hi touch and when i told him i loved him a lot he told me loved me so much. i know he says stuff like that to fans all the time but maybe because i saw him in my section a lot i felt this personal connection with him c’: cnu and sandeul were next i think (i really can’t remember omg) but i remember GONGCHAN b/c when i told him thank you and that i really loved him he genuinely looked touched my chest started hurting b/c of that expression on his face OH AND JINYOUNG freaking jinyoung had his hair pushed back and up into this suave looking style (very fitting for him) and i wanted to scream omg he looked so hot like that (sorry that’s 3 things) it all felt so surreal and i didn’t actually start crying until i was outside and on my way back, everything finally hit me :cccc then i ate a huge brownie sundae while sorting through my videos and photos and trying to type as much as i could remember before falling asleep lol i’ll probably add more once I actually upload the vids and remember things but for now I think that’s it c’: i hope b1a4 comes back soon, i love them even more than i did before and hopefully it won’t be as long of a wait next time!! if you have any questions about any specific thing let me know c’: