father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned.
constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is.
father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .?
constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.
so #1, an undeniable slay.
#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.
#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.
also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm
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funniest things in interview with the vampire:
the fact that we got reverse-queerbaited and there was levitating gay vampire sex in episode 1 and then never again :(
"he ain't white he french!"
lestat showing up to louis' family dinner in the gayest outfit he could wear in 1910, pretending to eat, and hypnotizing paul when he really was trying to make a good impression
florence du lac clocking louis as gay because of his acrylic nails and tinted glasses
"what's wrong with that man?" @ lestat
louis with the "no whites allowed" sign despite lestat being inside the building
"i'm not sure how i feel about that pleated skirt" "it's chiffon it has movement"
grace calling lestat louis' white daddy
louis, lestat, and claudia treating nosferatu like a comedy
louis telling the police they should be ashamed of how they treated "law-abiding, taxpaying citizens" and forgetting that it's illegal to be gay
"we sell...incinerators. to various american cities." "we bring our clients here to demonstrate the product"
louis throwing lestat's coffin out the window
tom anderson not seeing louis and lestat for 17 years but for some reason he has a picture with them in his desk drawer
the fact that rashid was not just a character armand made up but a real employee of theres who was mysteriously absent for a week while seemingly consensually being played by his boss
armand and louis walking up to daniel holding hands like two people who have never held hands before in their life
armand had a threesome with a father and son while watching now, voyager, something louis didn't even know about
armand telling daniel his own armandstat fanfiction, stopping at the scene where they fucked in the theatre box, and daniel wanting more
"are you schizophrenic louis?" "...no"
the insinuation that the real irish playwright samuel barclay beckett was a vampire. not only that, but that his most well-known work, "waiting for godot," was originally written for the theatre des vampires. not only that, but that he is now an unspecified DJ
french man yelling at louis and armand that they should blow each other when they're kissing in the public park
daniel molloy being so unbelievably gay in the 1970s and being immediately into fucking louis in the coffin
daniel molloy having his body comandeered by armand and still offering to suck his dick
daniel molloy trying to escape from armand and immediately running into the wall
armand walking back into the dubai penthouse being the silliest he's ever been, nourished, happy only to find out that his husband and weird gay boy situationship have unionized
armand gaslighting his way out of the situation he gaslit himself into by telling louis he asked him to erase his memories
armand animating the raccoon into the projections during the trial
santiago small dick reveal
lestat still wearing a 150 year old leyendecker robe and playing a wooden piano, but somehow having the money for an ipad, speakers, and wifi
"siri pause"
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