#I'm scared of tagging this actually so I'm gonna stop there LMAO

[skullsandcorals]

Happy Valentine's Day !!! 😘💖 I really wanted to post something for Valentine's Day, so 🤭 Percy's outfit is from Miku's outfit in Rabbit Hole (DECO*27) 🐇🫶

(click for better quality if you're on the mobile app. do not repost.)

[sulphuricgrin]

It's Sujamma Sundas!

This week @lathez's Sujamma wants to hear all about your big ideas. What’s a new story idea or OC idea you have? Maybe you haven’t fleshed it out yet - this is a great opportunity!

no pressure tagging: @skyrim-forever @illumiera @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @lobo-inu @hircines-hunter @pocket-vvardvark @scholarlyhermit @yansurnummu @oblivions-dawn @yewphoric

@changelingsandothernonsense @sanzas-reverie @fangsandsoftgrass @ggghoulish @silly-little-diary @truth-01001001-liar @firefly-factory @moogaiashe @pinessydr @flycasual

I actually talked about my recent new WIPS like 2 days ago in a tag/ask game. I'm just gonna copy&paste the answers here. Given they're smut WIPS ideas, I don't expect all to read it. Just tagged lots cause i'm more curious about everyone else's ideas that they've been working on, than them reading my post here lol

First WIP:

I'll state the title comes from Måneskin's song OWN MY MIND which is fitting for these idiots. Anyways, it's another smut oneshot! Because of fucking course it is. I'm ill about them. You already know how my outline/ideas are written from the last oneshot with you and the girls on discord lmao Can't believe i'm sharing this publicly compared to the server. nervous nervous nervous Anyways, my stupidity under the cut. SMUT WIP OUTLINE Idea:  Miraak orders Lilli to sing for him, his little canary. Challenges her to see how long she can continue as he goes down on her. Wants to hear her breath hitch and voice stutter. They’ve got their own (overly inflated) egos on the line here. To even the playing field, she asks him to take off the ring that offers him immunity to her illusion work (that's made for him). Curious, he follows through, though a tad hesitant. She must have an idea in mind to pair with her singing. [THIS IS AN IMMENSE AMOUNT OF TRUST, given what she can do to the mind at this point] And she does. Illusions dig into his mind, and he feels her hands all over him ��� though never truly there― before settling on his cock. It was an odd thing, for her to jerk him off yet she never truly touches him, for it's all in his mind, and then he feels her mouth that's not there. Both are trying to overstimulate the other, who's attention breaks first. Lilli fails eventually though ;) Seconds before Lilli’s orgasm, he stops, denying her of it. Wants her to squirm. But oh, the whiny sob, her nails digging into his scalp. And then, to his surprise― tears.   To find her so truly overwhelmed. He's never seen her cry like this. Or at all. He loves the sight of it. Especially when it's got her cursing him, vicious, yet utterly begging for him. There's more, but that's the idea~

Second WIP idea:

named to THE CHASE (based off LuLuYam’s song that’s in the Dragonsong playlist haha) I think you can already get an idea based off the title change― I’m making a fic based of one of the fantasies in It Means Nothing (This Means Everything) "Would she make him stalk her through the tower or the libraries for her, whilst wearing almost nothing and that mischievous smile on her face? Yes, she would, and he’d follow in a heartbeat to claim her. Would she do the same, stalking for him as soon as she enters Apocrypha? She does so already." So a bit of a predator/prey dynamic. Because 👀  But it is gonna be a bit of a switch, as in Lilli’s gonna do her typically stalking first before the dynamic shifts to Miraak going after her.  That's all I've got since I'm working on the other oneshot first. But yeah, of course I've got another idea already. I'mtotallynormalaboutthem

I do have more ideas, but i'm scared to share this kind of shit in public.

Thank you, Eve and Cethlenn for encouraging me as always with this kind of shit. <3

[errruvande]

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @thelettersfromnoone for the tag!! 💖

How many work do u have on AO3?

3, not your local AO3 girlie lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

8 534

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

I'll go with Tumblr ones, cause from my 3 AO3 works the biggest number I got is 31 lmao

Anyone but you (Legolas x f!reader)

Night watch (Legolas x Reader)

Well-deserved rest (Haldir x f!Reader)

One messy night (Boromir x f!Reader)

Transition (Haldir x f!Reader)

Honorable mention (since it's not fics but headcanons)

Green Council receiving a hot pic from you (HotD)

TLK men's reaction on being pet named

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments! These little things are brightening up my day, so I wanna let the people know that they are my heroes hahaha

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I really think it's Transition. All in all it's a pretty dark story, a bit depressing I think (I had these intentions while writing at least).

Otherwise, I don't think I have angsty endings fics?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

New family members for sure!! Was thinking hard what to choose, cause I think all of my happy ending fics are on the pretty same level on a happy scale, but I remember that I have this gen, non romantic baby and I love it so much ❤️‍🩹 There's a little TLK OMC for y'all

Do you write crossovers?

I wanted to say I've never done this BUT THEN!!! My Assassin's Creed (Ezio) x LOTR little headcanon!!! My beloved child!!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not that I remember getting any hate on my fics

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, tho not much and on rare occasions. I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger (a teen), then I stopped being comfortable with it for a wild few years (tho reading never made me uncomfortable lmao).

Now I started writing smut again, idk what kind? Don't really understand what does that mean lol F x M traditional sex? Pretty detailed? If so, then yes lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know 😂 Maybe, maybe not. I think rather not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, I don't think so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

We tried with my friend a long long time ago. Didn't go well lmao It's hard and kinda stressing, cause you never know what the other person is gonna write (at least we had this SURPRISE system), so... You kinda have zero plot cause everything you want to write plot-wise can be ruined by the second person's plot lmao

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Athelnar?? Athelstan and Ragnar were my first ever OTP (quickly followed by Alfred and Uhtred). You could never beat that Athelnar shit out of my body lmao I've never written for them, but oh I do love them boys!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Now, that's the HARSH one lmao

I think I have at least 3 OC stories that I really wanna write (2 for TLK and one for LOTR), but I'm scared that I will never actually do it. I never was good with multi chaptered stories, and these are indeed not a one shots 🥲

What are your writing strengths?

Ugh... I don't know? I think I was pretty good with dialogues and descriptions of the surroundings to build the atmosphere. But... I guess it's not for me to decide but for the readers?

What are your writing weaknesses?

I rarely finish what I've started lmao I should write everything in one go or else I'll never finish it... Or will finish it in two months even if it's a 2k words one shot

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love them! I've only done it with my LOTR fics (with Sindarin) but I really love it. But I really love it when the language is different from the language of the settings? Like, if the story is happening in England and everyone is English, but you have two characters who can speak idk Dutch, let them have a Dutch language in their dialogue. I had a rant post about it not that long ago actually lmao You have to think about your in-universe language

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Ahhh Bungou Stray Dogs! I love them, and I'd gladly try to write something for them. Not a character/character but reader my beloved.

And maybe Stephane Narcisse (reign) my beloved and a reader

What's your favorite fic you've written?

The blood on my hands (Eomer) and Peace (Finan) are definitely my fave ones I think. They are dark and both explore some trauma

No pressure tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm @holy3cake @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk @persephones-journey @solinarimoon @mrsalwayswrite @emmanuellececchi @bilbotargaryen @levithestripper @mrsarnasdelicious @paula-in-dreamland

[catras-breakup-song]

i saw your post about catras chipped eye colors and how blue + yellow = green and i wanted to put my two cents out there. im typing this in anon because i am NOT smart and im really scared that this is going to be completely stupid and incoherent and id just have it up on my blog lmao

so catras eyes are usually interpreted to symbolize two parallels- when i first watched the show i interpreted it to simply represent her morality, with blue being the 'good' side and yellow being the 'bad' one, but on second thought her blue eye might be used to represent coldness, that being her general detachment from the abstract concept of good vs bad while her yellow eye represents a certain warmth: it shows how sensitive she is to personal relationships.

how much she cares, and the importance she places in other people contrasts with her apparent moral apathy

either way, catras eyes seem to show two opposites, it's a contradiction,and its the type of "error" that prime would want to stomp out- he tries to take away a core component of catra; he tries to make her more "logical" and controllable. he tries to make her preoccupied with this abstract concept of goodness (characterized especially as purity) and stop valuing personal relationships (and makes her attack justly the person she loves the most for this).

he blends her colors together,washing out a unique feature of hers, and turns her into barely even a shell of who she really is

imo this lines up nicely with the subtext of prime as basically the personification of abusive church, including his penchant of using electrocution to "fix" people, reminiscing conversion therapy

i also really like what you said about both of her eyes connecting to she ras blue and yellow color scheme, and its really interesting in this context. applying this to the symbolism of prime washing out her eye colors would probably lean a bit heavier into the whole 'conversion therapy' theme

i assume you're referring to this post by me + this post by @age-of-wonderbeasts, for context? (it doesn't seem to me like you knew about the latter but the way you described the symbolism of each "side" reminded me of its existence!)

anyway, i don't mean to come across as lazy but i truly don't have anything to add because you're totally onto something and i agree with you 100%! i honestly hadn't thought of the religious themes behind the color blending, and although nate had confirmed that horde prime is a metaphor for the church & conversion therapy, i doubt that specific detail was intentional ─ it's still a very valid interpretation though, and i'd like to believe he would adopt it as canon if he (theoretically) saw this!

i'm gonna go ahead and tag @horde-princess because religious meta in SPOP is/was known to be her whole gimmick thing on this side of the tumblr fandom and i would absolutely love to know what she thinks of your idea, assuming there's more to say that i just simply missed.

thank you anon, for providing this insight, seriously! feel free to reveal yourself if you feel comfortable with the approval of your opinion because actually, despite your doubts, you're brilliant. ♡

[vikcacao]

IM SO HAPPY THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR INDANE PEOPLE LIKE ME. dude it's all I think about and i litteraly NEED 2 draw them more omg.

Ok yap sesh incoming so be warned this will be a long one.

Ok so like at first after reading May's unckuna fic End Of Beginning I rlly wanted 2 make a modern no curse au fic of my own. Smth about sukuna and his dysfunctional emotionally unavailable and horrifically traumatized ass taking care of jins kid has a special place in my heart fr... and then ofc at first I had an au where I ramp up all the dark shit 2 like 1000000 billion.

At some point I'm not feeling the au bc it got super dark and I needed smth new after I saw the end of jjk. So I made a new au with my fixation about yuji being a basketball player with the idea of him having the same issues as me, and then I realized he wouldn't be scared of the same shit as me so i changed it again. I made it itafushi...

The way this idea occurred was bc one day I was watching a SHIT TON of r/inceltears and r/niceguys on it and it inspired me alot. Also nerd x jock thing...?? Yeah I put a stupid little twist 2 it and made megumi and incel.

BEFOR PEOPLE THROW TOMATOES AT ME, REMEMBER THIS WAS AN IDEA THAT WAS LIKE "lmao that would be so funny if megumi was a bitter incel and yuji was an allstar basketball player that everyone loved... omg he would hate him fr." And then boom the au started... it was a crackfic of an idea spawned by stupid hyperfixation on incel misery and at first I wasn't even gonna write about it.

The more I thought and talked about it the more in depth it became dude... like I've BEEN friends with an actual incel and I was in a rlly bad situation bc of it so I kinda wanted 2 base my expirence with those kinds of people in the fics. Then I started researching.... and hyperfixating and uhhhh then it spiraled out of control bc my autism said that IT NEEDS 2 MAKE SENSS 2 IRL ISSUES AND "OHHH I CAN TACKLE THE HARM THAT ONLINE SEXUALIZATION OF WOMEN AND MYSOGONY HAPP3NS!! I CAN TAKLE CONCEPTS OF PEER PRESSURE WITH PEOPLE ON DISCORD AND SHOW A CHARACTER SPIRALING 2 THE DARK SIDE FROM THEIR OWN STUPIDITY ON THE INTERNET!! I CAN SHOW TEEN VICTIMS WHAT ITS LIKE GETTING IN AND HEALIMG FROM THOSE SITUATIONS!!"

And then I started taking it super srsly... crack treated srsly tag will need 2 be added ig...

Main premise of the fic is this.

Megumi is an incel and yuji is the allstar on the basketball varsity team. Best of the best.

Megumi hates yuji bc he's jealous and bc he's insecure, hating on a "typical chad" bc being an angry bitter loner is easier to take out on someone else (who's a stranger) than trying to figure out what's wrong, let alone fix his issues. Meanwhile yuji wants to be Megumis friend soooo bad that it's embarrassing how many times yuji tries 2 start a conversation with him.

One sided hate my beloved...

Yuji don't realize that megumi hates him so he tries 2 talk and at some point (begrudgingly) they become friends(?) !

Yuji finds out slowly but surely about all of megumis problems and tries 2 help him heal from it all. Not gonna say 2 much but like imagine an absolute loser who wants 2 die and is a walking red flag and u have megumi.

Yujis favorite color IS red tho so... yeah jokes aside yiji sees the good in him blah blah blah he's gonna save him in every universe and oh btw did I mention that megumi has awful emotional regulations around yuji??? Bc he's the only one that wouldn't run away from him or be disgusted with him?? I also looked into like alot of autistic behaviors for teens and shit so he fits the bill perfectly.

Yes my goats both have autism

Yuji with that AuDHD swag and megumj wit the autism sauuceee!!

Ok yeah imma stop bc this is like a wall of text even for me. SIGHHHHH BACK 2 THE CELL OF MY OWN MIND... TIME 2 GO BACK 2 BEING INSANE WITH MYSELF...

ALSO FEEL FREE 2 TELL ME ALL ABOUT UR AU IM SO IN LOVE ALWAYS GNG!!

THIS IS SO UNIQUE AND COOL !?!?! Megs being an incel would never cross my mind, but it seems possible

And I like the Yuuji helps him, that seems like a fascinating read honestly, I love recovery (the more realistic the better honestly)

((And I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences in the past with folks like incels, I've watched a lot of the r/nice guy stuff too, and idk. I'm glad it sounds like you're no longer in your bad situation, hopefully at least))

[aithusarosekiller]

Anyway I think I'm gonna stop posting discourse (bc I'm scared of fucking up or making myself more unpopular on both sides) and move onto some more fun optimistic post-canon as well as some fanon-fuelled deep-dives on stuff in s6 because I wanna bring some positivity to the tag that is so constantly negative lmao (I'd almost forgotten why I usually stick to the TikTok fandom for this show)

Now living in the world in my head where the guide is not a racist maga or an object for the monster to assault, the van Helsing arc hasn't been shoved under the rug, and they didn't spend years convincing us we were watching a slow burn that we will actually never be allowed to see the end of. Officially going back to ignoring plot points and making things up bc it's what fandom is really for regardless of what any script-writers and directors say

[petrichor-idyllic]

OPEN WOUNDS

Alright, alright, I just know people are gonna get mad at me but I'm having Maze Runner burn out, and the requests I have are throwing me through a loop right now lmao. (Requests are still closed.) So, I thought I'd write something different to get me out of my hole- my own idea. Yeah, I know, Petri writing their own original plot? Mad.

Hope I've got at least one OBX fan in my audience.

MASTERLIST | JJ MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Fem! Reader x JJ Maybank. Enemies to lovers.

You and JJ have a tense relationship - you always have. But, both of you coming from rough home lives, you've both resorted to the Chateau and John B as your saviour. Neither of you talk about it, but you know more about JJ than you let on. Though, tonight is the night. With John B out with Sarah and JJ's dad out of town, you finally have the Chateau to yourself - until things don't go quite as planned.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, themes of physical abuse, generally depressing subject matter, no depiction of actual violence just the aftermath but still trigger warning for abuse. Also some friends references.

Ah.

The sweet relief of silence.

Between yours and JJ's bickering, the constant string of girls flooding through the Chateau, the parties, the drinking and John B's terrible music taste - the Chateau is normally a chaotic bundle of angsty teenagers. But not tonight.

Tonight, John B is on a date, Pope and Kie are at their respective homes, and JJ's father is out of town, resulting in him going home for his own peace. Probably, because he doesn't actually want to be stuck in the house with just you.

But that's fine by you.

You're not really sure why you and JJ hate each other so much. You swear blind that he started it, but he says otherwise. You were childhood friends with Pope, and JJ with John B - so when John B befriended Pope, you both just ended up tagging along. Now, you're a certified Pogue, and you're close with everyone, even Sarah.

Apart from JJ.

John B says you're just too similar to get along, Pope thinks it's because you're both too stubborn, Kie reckons it's because there's some underlying tension you both refuse to admit. But it doesn't really matter why, in your opinion.

And Kie is clearly wrong.

Though, when shit hit the fan at your place and you decided to seek refuge at the Chateau, you kinda sorta forgot that JJ was there for the same reasons.

You've tried, okay? You have tried to get along with him. To make things less awkward, if just for the sake of the other Pogues more than anything else.

But it just doesn't work.

JJ knows how to push your buttons, and no matter how calm and collected you try to be, most of your interactions end in an argument.

But not tonight.

Because he isn't here.

You lay, spawled on the couch, wearing a long worn band tee as a dress as you scroll through your phone, an episode of friends playing on the TV in the background. You think it's the one where Chandler gets handcuffed to a filing cabinet - but you're really not paying attention, nor do you remember the actual name of the episode. You mindlessly dive your hand into the bag of potato chips resting on your stomach, laughing at some TikTok Pope had sent you.

Between work, school, and arguing with a pretty surfer boy, you very rarely get time to actually just chill out and relax. You've not even bothered to get up and turn the lights on, the thin shine of the moonlight and the electronic flicker from the TV being the only things stopping you from walking into something when you eventually stand up.

Not that you intend on standing up anytime soon.

Things are going well. You might even be able to have a shower without JJ thinking he's hilarious and stealing your clothes. Or maybe even listen to music without him blasting his own music even louder.

Life is good, sometimes.

Just as you're smiling to yourself about how good your evening is, the door is violently yanked open and then slammed again, scaring the shit out of you.

"Jesus!" You jump, looking over the back of the sofa, it's too dark to make him out properly, but his trademark red cap and locks of blond escaping his choice of head wear give you a pretty good hint. "Maybank? The hell? Aren't you meant to be at home for once?"

You're too angry that he's interrupted your pleasant evening to realise that he's in clear distress.

"Fuck off, (Y/N)." He spits, leaving you in a state of shock. That's blunt and forward, even for him.

"What-?"

"Leave me alone." He says sharply, going into the spare room where he sleeps and slamming the door.

You sit there in a bubble of confusion for a couple of seconds before huffing and returning to your original position on the couch. "Whatever."

Your peace only lasts a few seconds as you hear a loud crash from inside the room. You sit up, silently, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off to see if you heard that correctly.

There's more crashing and banging as undoubtedly JJ has some kind of rage induced meltdown. That's when your phone buzzes. You open it, reading the message:

Pope

I thought Luke was out of town???

You

Huh???? He is??

Pope

I just saw him???

Went to the corner store and he was smoking outside

You

????

I thought JJ said he was gone for the week??

Pope

Is JJ at the Chateau??

I can't get ahold of him

You

Yeh

Burst in about five minutes ago

Pope

Can you check on him for me

You

Are you fr rn?

Pope:

Pls

You groan, tossing your phone to the side as you stand up. You stop in your tracks when you realise that the noises have stopped. The house is now completely and utterly silent.

Which is somehow more concerning.

"Oi, Maybank, you good?" You half-shout, earning no response as you pick up your phone from the sofa - just in case you have to call John B or Pope in a panic.

You get no respond, slowly walking towards the room. "JJ? Hey - you okay?" You knock on the door.

"Leave me alone." JJ's voice breaks as you hear his voice through the door, and you feel your stomach sink.

You don't particularly like JJ, sure, he's like, the hottest man you've ever seen, and he is genuinely kind of funny sometimes. That doesn't matter; you don't like him.

But you can empathise with him. And he's Pope's friend.

And it doesn't take a genuis to put the dots together about what's happened.

"JJ." You sigh. "I'm coming in."

To your surprise, he doesn't respond, so you slowly push the door open.

The room is a mess, clothes are scattered everywhere, a lamp's broken, the bed sheets are a mess and the pillow is across the room, slumped against a wall. It looks like he's thrown anything he managed to get his hands on. JJ sits on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, he stares at the floor, one hand in his messy blond locks, the other resting on his knee, red cap in his hand.

He doesn't look up as you walk in, his hair hiding his face along with the dimly lit room. Silently, you move, walking to sit next to him. You leave enough distance between you to make neither of you uncomfortable.

"I told you to leave me alone." He mumbles, not even looking at you.

You hesitate for a second, sighing.

"...my step dad was an asshole. When things got bad, I'd lose my shit and scream at anyone who got too close, screaming about how I wanted to be on my own. ...But, all I ever really wanted was for someone to push past all that and act like they cared about me."

JJ doesn't move, or even look up, so you keep talking.

"You can hate me, and tease me, and throw shit, and say you hate everyone and this whole shitty island and whatever you want to say to get it out your system - I get it. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you, Maybank - so suck it up."

JJ is still silent, but his hand falls from his hair, loosely resting on his knee as he finally looks at you. You look at him out of the corner of your eye, and try not to visibly react.

JJ already has a black eye forming, a cut on his cheek and blood smeared under her nose. There's also blood staining the back of his hand, probably from wiping his nose.

"... you gonna put our petty differences aside for five minutes and let me fix that?" You ask; reacting dramatically or with pity is just going to piss him off even more.

JJ hesitates, but eventually nods, sighing. "Alright... but I don't wanna talk about it."

"I wasn't gonna ask." You stand up, offering him a hand, that he doesn't take, before he brushes past you and out the room.

That's about right.

He sits on the sofa as you get the appropriate means from the first aid box. You walk back to him, looking at him for a second before you step forward and touch his face for him to look up. He immediately flinches, pulling himself away, making you huff.

"Dude, I've gotta touch you if I'm gonna help you." JJ mumbles something you don't quite catch, but he lets you lift his face. You lightly dab under his nose, wiping the blood away before moving to the cut on his cheek.

He hisses as you press an alcohol wipe to his cheek.

"Sorry," you mumble.

"Could've warned me."

"Figured you wouldn't be such a pussy."

JJ simply rolls his eyes at this as you continue to nurse to him. Then you grab some glue strips, pressing down on one side of the cut and pulling the skin up to reach the other, tightly holding the cut together so it leaves less of a scar.

"Why are you helping me?" The question catches you off-guard, making you look him in the eye.

And you suddenly become very aware of how close you are. JJ isn't the goofy kid who always had a tooth missing and dirt on his clothes that you grew up with anymore. He's objectively gorgeous - there's a reason there's a seemingly endless amount of girls in the Chateau when he's around.

His bright ocean blue eyes lock with yours, and for a second, you understand. You understand all of those girls you judged and made fun of for falling for the blond's charm.

I mean look at him. How could they not?

And now is the worst moment to realise that.

You stand between his legs, bodies close, you're only wearing a thin lounge shirt and JJ's hands rest on his open legs, almost like he's fighting the instinct to put them on your waist.

You clear your throat, ripping your eyes away from his hypnotic gaze. He notices the shift, raising his eyebrow as you finally answer his question.

"I think I've already explained that."

He shrugs. "Yeah, I guess, but, like, you don't have to do this. Ain't you meant to hate me?"

"I only hate you because you hated me first."

"I didn't."

"Did too."

"Whatever." He pauses, eyes following your every move as you brush hair out of your face, grabbing his jaw.

"Stop moving."

"It hurts."

"Cope."

You place another gluestrip on his cheek. He opens his mouth to speak, but quickly shuts it again, making you curious. "What?"

"What, what?"

"You were gonna say something." You hook a finger under his chin, angling his face so you can see what you're doing better.

"No, I wasn't."

"Alright, fine - you weren't then."

The silence around you becomes more tense, and then JJ sighs. "I don't- I don't actually hate you."

You pause, looking at him, eyebrows furrowed.

"I mean, you're annoying as shit," he continues, "but... you're the only person that seems to be able to put up with my shit. So... yeah, yanno."

"So... you don't hate me?" You pull your hands away from his face, and he shakes his head, shrugging before running his fingers through his hair.

"No... you help around here - I mean, the Chateau would be trashed if you weren't around, and you help Pope out. And, I mean, he cares about you, for some reason, so you can't be all bad."

You scoff at this. "Yeah, yeah - you'll need some ice for that eye." He rolls his eyes in response as you return to the kitchen, bringing back a bag of frozen peas, which he presses to his eye as you finally sit down.

"It's cold."

"Is it really?"

"Ha ha." He fake laughs. "What were you even doing, anyway?"

"I watching TV and enjoying a peaceful evening."

"Sorry to ruin your evening." He says sarcastically.

"It ain't your fault." You respond, not quite sure where to go from here but you can't quite meet his eye either. It falls quiet again.

"...thank you."

He says it in such a whisper you think you're actually losing your mind at first. "What?"

"I, uh," he rubs his face. "I said thank you. You... you didn't have to do this. The others... When I- when..." He sighs. "Normally, they just leave me to it. They don't get it, they don't understand."

"They don't, not in the way you want them to, but they understand that you're going through something horrible. And they don't wanna make things worse. And you tell them to leave you alone and avoid talking about it - people can't help you if you don't let them, JJ." You say, your voice becoming softer as you finally look at him.

"You managed." He responds, watching you carefully. You don't really want to have this conversation either.

"Yeah, well, I'm stubborn." You joke, earning a snort and him dropping and shaking his head, his hands falling to his lap with the bag of peas.

"Yeah, you can say that again." He pauses. "Mind if I join you with your little marathon? I've got nothing better to do."

"What?" You scoff. "You want to willingly spend time together?"

"Yeah - fuck it, why not? It's been a shitty day, I'm not sure even your annoying-ass could make it worse."

"Ah, well, I'm sure I can find a way." JJ grins at your sarcastic comment, picking up the remote and flicking the TV back on. "Friends? Seriously?"

"What? It's good."

"Ehh, is it, though?"

"Just 'cause you have no taste."

"Rude. Well, what would you rather watch?"

"Uh, Two Guys and A Girl?" You blankly look at him. "You don't know what that is, do you?"

"No-"

"'Course you don't."

"Just 'cause you're a film freak." You sneer.

"Just 'cause you're uncultured." He retorts, then sighs. "It's another nineties sit-com. Only has two seasons."

"That probably means it's bad."

"Shut up. Ryan Reynolds is in it."

"That doesn't mean it's good."

"Uhh, yeah, it does."

You continue your dumb bickering, even though you do ultimately continue watching friends - JJ even laughs at some of the bad jokes. It's... weirdly nice.

You're not sure if it's just because you've become painfully aware that you're attracted to him, or if you guys are just trauma bonding, but it's almost fun.

"Ross is such a dick. Rachel deserves better." You chuckle at his comment, rolling your eyes. Then, after a moment, you speak.

"Oh, Maybank?"

"Yeah?" He responds between mouthfuls of potatoe chips.

"You don't need to thank me."

He pauses, glancing at you. "Yeah, I know - but I still will."

You nod, a small smile on your lips. "Well, you're welcome then."

○□○□○□○□○

"Guys! Guys!" John B rushes out the Chateau the next day as Kie and Pope carry booze and cups for plans of a kegger that evening. "You gotta see this."

"Huh? See what?" Kie blinks at the boy as she climbs out of her car, adjusting the bag she's holding full of paper cups. She'd lectured Pope for trying to buy plastic ones, which had condemned her to having to carry them.

"What are you talking about?" Pope raises an eyebrow.

"Shhh! Keep your voices down!" John B whisper-yells, making them exchange puzzled looks. "Come on. Come on!" He summons them to follow him, in which they shrug at each other as they follow him inside.

"Dude, what's going on?" Pope hisses, his tone low as John B leads them into the living room area.

John B puts a finger to his lips, then points at the couch. Kie and Pope exchange another glance before walking around the sofa.

"Holy-" Kie starts before John B dramatically shushes her again.

On the couch, you and JJ remain. You're not sure when you fell asleep, but you did.

You're both still sat up, your head resting on JJ's shoulder, his arm loosely around yours as his head rests on top of yours. You're almost snuggled into the crook of his neck, your knees pulled up and slighting resting on the edge of his lap.

"Should we wake them up?" Pope asks. "Psst! Guys-"

Kie slaps his arm. "Don't you dare. They're gonna get along even less when they wake up - let's just enjoy the peace whilst it lasts."

John B smirks and nods. "Yeah, come on, let's head to the Boneyard and start setting things up. They'll catch up later."

The trio walk out as quietly as they can, leaving you two to your slumber.

Kie's right; when you both wake up, you're going to be embarrassed and probably angry at the other. But right now, you're blissfully unaware.

Yeah, so, I'm providing content no one asked for. This is my blog, let me live.

The bag of frozen peas defrosts on the table, and even though JJ is clearly hurt, he's been taken care of, and seems content.

Lmao, in all seriousness, I figured writing the start of a potential crush could be cute for a change and it's nice writing for another one of my favourite boys, who isn't Minho.

I know this isn't my demography, but I'm tryna make my masterlist look less empty.

Anyway, I hope at least one of you enjoyed this :))

[radioactivedotcom]

i get what you mean but some of us actual enjoy the game and genuinely don't have the same issues as you with bugs. Yeah there are issues. But it's still a fun game. Pissing on the people who enjoy it and are happy to pay for it isn't going to make the game better. Especially since the last few packs have been really good? Like...

EA has never cared about customer enjoyment. If the majority of people pirate the game, they aren't going to change anything about it, they'll just shelve it.

I don't wanna start a whole debate on this, so I'll answer this one ask and that's it.

First, yes, I fully understand that there are a ton of people who very much enjoy playing the game. But I want you to consider this... If someone has bought all the expansions, all the packs, all the kits... they've spent over 1 200,00$.... The sims is a great game, but it is not a game worth that much money. Or at the very least... it shouldn't be. This should be an unacceptable price tag. If the basegame came out with all the available content that exists for the sims 4, but at that price... who the fuck would buy that.

Being scared that the game will be shelved, that they won't ever make another game ever again... You're just saying, eh, this kinda sucks but I'm absolutely powerless to do anything about this, so I don't care, I'll keep participating in this vicious cycle.

It's not true though. You aren't powerless. Because EA knows they can make money out of the sims franchise for a loooong time still. And they've invested a shit ton into it. They won't give up on it that easily. If people stop buying while saying: I'm not buying because you're charging too much. Or, I'm not buying because this content isn't polished enough, or whatever else people have as valid complaints... Then yes, if enough people did that, I believe it would change EA's business strategy. They would try to make a thing so good people can't resist buying it, instead of just making trailers that seem great, but with a product that ends up not nearly as polished and well-thought-out as advertised. I don't know if you've watched people reviewing the latest expansions, but even on a technical level, no one's been impressed. Yet people still buy, so of course EA won't change their strategy.

Big companies like EA want to make you believe that there's nothing you can do even though YOU'RE THE CUSTOMER, it's YOUR money, and you DESERVE a product worth that hard-earned money. Same way companies never want their employees to unionize, and the government wants you to think it's normal not to have free healthcare. (though i'm canadian so it's, you know, a different problem here concerning healthcare)

Anyway, I'm rambling and my socialism is showing lmao. But tbh, this is a very moot point, because me making this post is never ever in a million years gonna make a DENT in EA's pocket. You are majorly overestimating my influence.

If you wanna keep giving your money to EA, just do it man. I certainly can't stop you.

[diazsdimples]

Inspiration Saturday!!

I did a bad thing and started a new fic, which will be known as the Musician AU. Basically, Eddie, Hen & Chim are all players in the L.A Philharmonic, Bobby is the conductor, and Buck joins them for one concert as a new hot shot cello soloist. Eddie immediately falls head over heels for the man and him and Buck fuck nasty in many many backstage rooms. This is gonna be a long snippet sorry, I'm scared it's too niche lmao

Tagged by @callmenewbie @wildlife4life @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998, thank you guys!

Eddie gets to his chair and takes a moment to fully appreciate that it’s his. He’s not played first horn for a while, let alone while being the principal, and he’s pretty hyped. He takes a moment to unpack his horn, slotting the slides carefully into place and pressing the valves up and down to make sure they don’t need any grease. He’s so focused on it that he doesn’t hear Hen sneaking up to his side, clarinet in hand, and almost jumps out of his skin when she speaks.

“So, have you seen our new soloist yet?” she asks, leaning casually against his music stand and Eddie lets out a startled yelp.

“Not yet” he responds once his heart rate has gone back to normal.

Hen picks at something in her teeth. “Apparently, he’s very good, Tracy and Jeff can’t stop talking about him. It’s getting on my nerves”.

“Makes sense that he’s good, you don’t solo with the L.A Phil if you’re shit” Eddie jokes and Hen sends him a flat look.

“You know what I mean” she responds dryly. “Was the youngest in his class at Juilliard and did a stint playing in New Zealand with the NZSO before moving back to New York and playing with the New York Phil”.

Eddie can’t help but be impressed; the New York Philharmonic isn’t easy to get into and from what he’s heard, the NZSO are no slouches either. “He must be alright then”.

“You talking about Wonder-Boy Buckley? More than alright from what I hear”. Chimney is slouching towards them, weaving his way through the chairs and music stands from where he usually sits as principal trumpet. “Cathy says he’s hot. You’d better not let him distract you, Eddie”.

Eddie rolls his eyes playfully at Chimney as he sets his music out on the stand. “I have excellent impulse control, thank you. Haven’t had a random hookup in almost a year, even though Joel’s been repeatedly trying to jump my bones”.

“He does that with everyone, don’t feel special” Chimney replies, and he pats Eddie on the back.

“Why do they call him Wonder-Boy Buckley by the way?” Eddie asks. “Buckley’s a weird name, isn’t it?”

“Buckley is his surname; his first name is Evan” Hen explains while Chimney blows into his trumpet to warm it up. “And he’s Wonder-Boy because he’s so young and hot”

Eddie scoffs at this. Wonder-Boy Buckley sounds like a bit of a prick, honestly.

“Ready for your big moment? First movement of the concerto has a pretty big horn solo, and Bobby is expecting big things from you”. Chimney is looking at him with big eyes and if Eddie didn’t know him better, he’d think the guy was actually concerned.

Eddie won’t lie, he is pretty nervous about it. The cello solo and the horn have a few moments in the piece where it’s just them playing and it’s damn high and fucking difficult. Eddie’s done it in concert before, but that was with a much more minor orchestra and not in front of an audience of 2000+ people. However, Chimney and Hen under no circumstances are allowed to know he’s nervous so he shrugs nonchalantly and says, “yeah, I’ve been practicing it loads and think I’ve got it all sorted. Unless the soloist is truly as hot as you say, I’m pretty sure nothing will throw me”.

It seems the gods are listening to Eddie and laughing at him, because at that very moment, an extremely attractive young man walks into the auditorium with a cello strapped to his back and all Eddie can think is fuck, he’s really fucking hot.

“Oh look, there he is” Chimney says, perking up and Hen’s eyes flit across the auditorium, coming to rest on the man and her jaw drops.

“Holy shit, he’s hot. And I like girls”

“How’s our resident dick-expert doing” Chimney nudges Eddie teasingly and Eddie’s currently making a conscious effort not to drool.

“Yeah he’s – uh – he’s not bad”.

Not bad? Eddie is convinced this is the hottest man he’s ever seen in his life. His muscles bulge as he swings the cello case off his back and sets it on the ground and he flicks his head up to talk to Bobby, his blond curls flouncing delightfully as he does so. Even from here, Eddie can see how his eyes are a piercing blue and he can’t help but notice the way they crinkle as he smiles at Bobby, flashing a set of perfect, white teeth. He’s got some sort of mark around his eyebrow, maybe a piercing? Eddie can’t quite tell from this distance but man, it’s got him feeling things he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Hen and Chimney are sharing a knowing look and Eddie firmly ignores them, instead picking up his horn and beginning to blow some warm air into it. Terry, Amy, Sophie and Grant, his fellow horn players, have all turned up and are setting up, striking up idle conversation with one another as they wait for Bobby to give the order to tune up and start practicing. Hen pats Eddie on the back before returning to her chair and Chimney wiggles his eyebrows as he retreats, flicking his tongue around his mouthpiece suggestively.

(No pressure) tagging @theotherbuckley @eddiebabygirldiaz @wikiangela @fionaswhvre @smilingbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @fruitandbubbles @watchyourbuck @incorrect9-1-1 @knightlywonders @housewifebuck @monsterrae1 @evanbegins @cal-daisies-and-briars @thosetwofirefighters @disasterbuckdiaz @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz @shitouttabuck @jeeyuns

[notnights]

This is gonna be long because im an overthinker AND an overtalker- sorry in advance 😭

alright so i found out you wrote a fic for Ribbuns and immediately went off to check it out, and the tags actually scared me cause my taste for ribbun fics is smthn cute and fluffy- bc they get enough hate as it is, i didnt want them to hate eachother as well lol. Idk, the tags made it seem as if there wouldnt have been a happy ending where they both end up liking eachother.

BUT once I read it!! yes it started off negative, Gangle hating him and the overall relationship theme being kinda toxic (its probably tame but im not mentally strong for this ok) although its deserved since, you know, Jax. No hate to him or anything, the fic says it all lmao

but the way you write them-- it made me open my eyes to this type of relationship between them, particularly on how Gangle had- what, a power trip?- in this relationship, treating Jax badly but him still loving her. Woke smthn up in me frfr; ESPECIALLY THIS (along with more scenes but i esp like the power Gangle is shown to have here over him):

----------------

He shuts up when she says his name though. Nothing more, just a clear command to stop and a quick glance up to his face. Will question why that tickles her brain later.(Acetate Tears, Chapter 1)

----------------

this made me fall in love (as well as understand the trope more) for power trips in toxic love.

Almost made me change teams, to look for angsty toxic ribbun content despite my mentality, until:

----------------

Jax leans into her, pounces. Gives her silly wet kisses. She gives a squeaky scream. Weakly attempts to push him away from her, despite knowing she deserves this. Well maybe not this specifically , but some form of punishment. (same source)

----------------

THIS made me giggle and kick my feet in glee, reminding me of my love for soft kisses in fics

TLDR; your fic is honestly one of the best Ribbun fics ive read so far (im still digging through the tags!! I'm desperate for more!!) and it also awoken smthn in me that i tried to ignore hehe.

I LOVE your perception on their relationship, their behaviours, mindset, everything! Here's to hoping you'll write more ribbun, but its ok if u dont!! 🐰🎀

(im not good with words, but i hope my love for your fic is shared thru this jumble of words lol. I also hope episode 4 gives more depth to Ribbun's relationship that can bring more supporters instead of hate, since its gonna be focused on Gangle🤲)

((OH and im sharing my thoughts here instead of ao3 bc i'm super duper shy for no reason -carbon footprint scares me- and somehow tumblr asks in anon mode isnt as scary. Again, srry im saying so much 💀You dont hv to answer this since its long and not rlly an ask lmao))

Aw hey this is sweet thank you! You're all good, I am also an overthinker and overtalker (if that hasn't been apparent by the way I answer asks already) so I get it!

the tags actually scared me... Idk, the tags made it seem as if there wouldnt have been a happy ending where they both end up liking eachother.

Hey that's alright! That's what the tags are for to make sure this is something a potential reader can handle or get prepare for! The unfortunate thing is I obviously don't want to give away too much with them such as the happy ending, so I totally understand if it wards some people off. Respect for those who know their limits!

I also wanted to leave the ending a bit ambiguous as to if they truly ended up together or not. And depending on what you're hoping for with the story might not be the happy ending [Ganlge voice] you were hoping for.

particularly on how Gangle had- what, a power trip?- in this relationship, treating Jax badly but him still loving her.

One of my favorite things in stories about relationships is that one brings out something in the other they didn't know they needed to let out. Helps balance themselves out. Jax lets Gangle let out more than just "sadness" he lets her find out she's more than a pity party, she has anger to release and resentment to express (among other emotions). She has more than two emotions.

And while this is primarily a comment on Gangle, (this ain't about Jax right now...) Gangle lets Jax find out he's someone capable of relinquishing and receiving of love (the thing about him hating the idea of them having a "happily ever after.")

THIS made me giggle and kick my feet in glee, reminding me of my love for soft kisses in fics

Glad to hear it! I do really like Jax and Gangle being cute. But I like it more when it's after all the hard stuff. One of those well earned things. A cold glass of lemonade after mowing the grass. Eating something salty before eating something sweet and it makes it taste even sweeter!

A lot of folks make cute Jax and Gangle content that it makes me forget I don't make enough of it. Those of y'all who make cute stuff balance out whatever the hell I'm doing over here! So thanks for that.

All these things are very kind of you to say also! Thank you! It means a lot that you came to say them even though you were so shy!

Good luck with your searching! I hope you find more that you enjoy.

And yess I'm very excited for the Gangle episode either if it has some interaction between them or not. Because while I ship them and they're my two favorite characters, as my boyfriend describes "you just like Jax as an accessory to Gangle." Oops! Here's two hoping that sticker set implies there is some more meaningful interaction between them there.

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

[jacensolodjo]

https://www.tumblr.com/jacensolodjo/769645528750424064

I think one of the biggest issues is that people who simp for Communism just...don't really take any of those atrocities seriously.

Their primary interest first and foremost is to be anti-West, anti-capitalism to the absolute extreme. And instead of doing so in a healthy manner, they basically just keep on desperately looking for ANY ideology/belief system that is distant enough from their West/Capitalist worldview that they can easily romanticize as being superior, and then just dig their heels in and treat it essentially as their new religion.

That's why they refuse to reckon with Communism's evils; it's just a replacement for their inability and unwillingness to reckon with their own warped sense of guilt and shame for being Westerners. The new religion to replace the hole where they were traumatized by Western religion like Christianity, but without actually unpacking their worldviews or their warped beliefs.

To them, it's just much easier to seek out the seemingly morally perfect solution and pretend they've exonerated themselves of sin, than to face the reality that they're still ardent Christian religious extremists and hyper-individualistic capitalists at heart.

Oh thank God, a real ask finally lmao

I've got some posts elsewhere (my anti commie tag is big) about how they see something the Boomers hate (communism) and latch onto it because hey, it's something the Boomers hate so it can't be that bad, right? If they're gonna call us things like communists anyway, we should lean into that! Something something the Red Scare was fake so communism isn't that awful. (Boomers aren't the only group, of course, just an example based on posts abt this very thing.)

"“Many will say that they “didn’t know.” Undoubtedly, of course, it was not always easy to learn the facts or to discover the truth, for Communist regimes had mastered the art of censorship as their favorite technique for concealing their true activities. But quite often this ignorance was merely the result of ideologically motivated self-deception."

They want to decry the West, to call out the atrocities of capitalism but their precious communism has done far more, worse, overarching damage to millions upon millions.

This anti-West, anti-capitalism mindset also makes it very easy for them to cheer on places like North Korea, China, Iran, russia, etc., because they're in conflict w/ the West. But they have so many of their own atrocities going on. (To the extreme of, for example, swallowing the lies about Ukraine for the sake of being able to support russia, for instance. Despite the evidence of russian atrocities that make them no better than the West they want to decry.)

You take a Western commie and dump them into communist China or North Korea and they aren't gonna last more than a week. (And again, they ignore the people who have been victims of these countries who keep going 'stop that right now'. So many Chinese folks are like 'don't do that' but these kids just keep going.)

"Communists fought the nazis" is my second favorite line. Like yeah okay. And now your dichotomy is you're either a communist or a nazi and you see nothing wrong with this?

There is so much cognitive dissonance necessary to support communism that it makes my head hurt. Especially when I see LGBTQ commies and I'm sitting here like 'you know you'd be dead in a ditch somewhere the second you kissed someone who shares the same gender as you, right? That as soon as you put on a dress as someone with male on their ID you'd be murdered by a mob of commies, right?' I had a trans commie all up in my posts a while back (they deactivated at some point in the last two years) and I just had to sit here wondering if they realized their own ideology hated them with a fiery passion. Or they wanted to claim communism to try to be as offensive to Boomer, bigot sensibilities as possible. To the extent of ignoring that my posts were about millions of my own people being murdered by communists and knowing that every single label I claim is offensive to communism (and most if not all bigots in general).

[megarywrites]

10 songs tag

tagged by @thewriteflame and ofc i'll be doing this for Seafoam, specifically from my Thala playlist

the rules are: Use your WIP playlist and put it on shuffle. Write the first 10 songs that come up and quote your favorite lyrics from each song and/or the lyrics that fit your WIP best (they might be the same lyrics), then tag 10 people.

I'll tag (as always, no pressure): @aninkwellofnectar @isherwoodj @flowerprose @pinespittinink @the-orangeauthor @ashen-crest @ellatholmes @wildswrites @at-thezenith @mariahwritesstuff

No Rest For the Wicked - LVCRFT

Ain't no rest for the wicked Ain't no running from your fate Ain't no one left to listen when the world's up in flames

Let's just say it's very fitting for an upcoming chapter lol

Alive - SHINee

In this new world before me I'll follow the faith that I lost No one can stop me

ofc SHINee shows up lmao this song is all in Korean but i love the actual vibe of this song like musically it fits the mood from here on out in the story

Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie & Tommee Profitt

When it's almost too much for my soul alone I loved, and I loved and I lost you (x3) And it hurts like hell

this one in particular was added to the playlist for the part i'm currently writing (i am suffering thanks for asking)

Shake It Out - Florence + the Machine

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat 'Cause looking for heaven found a devil in me

the above lyrics are my favorite, and it's very fitting for how Thala is about to be in the story, since I'm nearing the climax

BIBI Vengeance (Bad Bitch) - BIBI

it doesn’t matter what you did what you say what you regret I forgave you for breaking me down and treading on me too bad you lost your last chance I’ve been waiting and anticipating, to be a bad bitch

I was trying to keep all the lyrics at three but i just can't not post this whole segment lol it's just so perfect (also another Korean song)

Little Girl Gone - CHINCHILLA

I like your blood on my teeth just a little too much So bite me, slap me round the face Now I'm twisting your arm till I hear it break

this song has been living in my head rent free since I first heard it lol we love an angry girl anthem

Fight Song - Rachel Platten

Like a small boat on the ocean Sending big waves into motion Like how a single word can make a heart open I might only have one match But I can make an explosion

this one represents a part in the story that's already written, which i'm sure you can guess given the title, but it's when she was finding her will to fight again after losing it for a while (this song made me cry while I was driving when i was writing that part lol)

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me

words to live by tbh

Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours in in red underlined

I feel like this is self-explanatory lol "yours" is referring to multiple people ofc

Last Laugh - FLETCHER

I'm crashin' your party to teach you a lesson Heard you get nervous whenever I'm mentioned So if you're scared, then go find you a priest Go find a confession

this one is from the soundtrack of "Promising Young Woman" and as soon as it came up in the credits I added it to this playlist lmao

[deliciousstrawberrythings]

I looked through the rest of this tag and this au is GOLD okay

Like, imagine the first time 12!Leo pulls a one-liner that successfully makes him laugh is the first time rise!Leo let's him make a portal lmao ("so you're not a total wet blanket all the time, nice to know") and actually, rise!Leo could teach him a lot about relaxing, about being a chill teenager. He could teach him to trust his team more instead of constantly pulling the sacrifice play and scaring my pants off, tyvm ("no can do, hermano. Hamato clan doesn't do that anymore. Not since the bite of '87" "the bite of '87?" "... do you know what fnaf is?") (it isn't lost on rise!Leo that 12!Leo didn't explictly agree to not use the sacrifice play. He's been watching him like a hawk) also I noticed the writing on the odachi says "Leo" over and over again, but I misread it the first time and thought it said "Ore ore ore ore" like the Jojo reference. I feel like rise!Leo would have fun teaching 12!Leo about meme culture, esp cuz he doesnt have hands and cant hold a phone anymore. Might even try to debate with him about the Jupiter Jim cinematic universe vs. Space heroes. I think 12!Leo would initially chafe under rise!Leo words and ideas. He's not used to having someone help him in his role as leader, and he doesn't trust rise!Leo's judgement yet. But eventually he will :) he'll come to appreciate having a second strategic mind in his back pocket that wants to help him, even though that mind makes bad puns and insults the villains in ways that makes 12!Leo snort-chuckle in the middle of battle.

I can imagine rise!raph finally, finally, getting 12!raph to hug someone outside of a life or death situation and crying tears of joy. There's a lot he could teach 12!raph about managing his anger, which is actually poorly managed worry. And also a lot he could teach him about being affectionate, about listening to his brothers, and about never getting separated. Like ever. ("Cmon little man, you need to get back to your team" "pff, those idiots? I don't need 'em. I can do this stupid mission on my own. And stop calling me little man!" "uh, sure big man. I know you could do it on your own, but you ever think maybe they need your help?" (Listen, rise!raph has a lot of practice doing mental gymnastics and manipulating his words trying to get unruly brothers to do what he wants them to. If this is the only reason why 12!raph will follow what he says? Then sure, he's gonna say a couple whites lies. Of course, rise!raph thinks that he needs his brothers a lot more than they need him, so his thinking is still a little skewed. The truth is that need each other.)

Ohhh mikey and mikey would be so fun together!! It would be hilarious when rise!mikey sees the abominations that 12!mikey makes in the kitchen ahhahahahdhdjjsak. ("NO! You have GOT to be kidding me! A smoothie made of pizza? A pizza with jelly beans on it? You're not unleashing the flavor, you're strangling it! Step aside young padawan, let the master take over") cue the glowing kusari-fundo being backpacked all around the kitchen, teaching 12!mikey how to crack an egg without letting the shells get in the pan. But also, rise!mikey would have so much valuable knowledge to pass on about the inner workings of people, about the way his brothers think ("he's not trying to ignore you on purpose, he's just fixated on what he's doing right now. I'm sure if you ask him to hang with you instead of trying to annoy him into paying attention to you, he would") there's also something about rise!mikey teach 12 to communicate his ideas a little better. Cuz he's got good ideas! They just don't come out in sensible ways that his brothers can understand. (Something tells me that 12!mikey would appreciate someone listening to his rambles a lot. He would appreciate someone that doesn't expect the stupidest things of him all the time)

Rise!donnie screaming "Upgrade me, i hate being a sti- no wait lemme edit that. Upgrade me, I hate being a MYSTIC stick, it SUCKS" is all hells of funny. But seriously, I think rise!donnie would have a lot to say about 12!donnie standing up for himself. ("Why do you let your dum dum brothers walk all over you? My nardo has no idea how complicated this tech is, and I highly doubt yours does. You're going to have to explain it to them so those DUMS DUMS can realize how GREAT you are") there's also a bigass lesson in pride, methinks. Rise!donnie has that in spades, but I feel like 12!donnie only considers his skills as tools to help out the team, not something to be proud of. When was the last time he made something for fun instead of to fix a problem? Has he ever made a disastrously horrible science fair project for April before? Has he ever made gifts for his family that weren't weapons? (Yea rise!donnie's gifts weren't that great but they came from good intentions and from the thought that all of his ideas were perfect... they are not. Maybe rise!donnie could learn humility from 12!donnie, as well as restraint so raph doesnt always have to be holding his leash against committing war crimes lmao) ("Oh my banana pancakes, you made this out of eggshells? I am a genius in EVERY UNIVERSE evil laugh" "oh, hehe. The smoke bombs? Well, they have helped us out in a lot of sticky situations, but its not that impressive. I still haven't automated the creation process so it takes quite while to build up an adequate stash. If you want to see something really impressive-" blah awesome nerd stuff) rise!donnie would TOOOOTALLYY be the devil on 12!donnie's shoulder telling him to rob the government, especially now that rise!donnie doesnt have hands and cant do it himself lol (who's the angel? Uh, Splinter I guess. His voice of reason is getting quieter just in relativity to how loud donnie's deranged laughter gets)

Sorry I spent way too long on this but I got brain worms. This could technically read as a normal fusion crossover but it came about because of ur weapon au. (Also, DOES SPLINTER'S STAFF HAVE LOU JITSU IN IT??) Also, I guess it's my headcanon that the rise family have spent a long time as weapons already. Idk what your plan was for how they got that way. Whether they were like, forged by some hamato blacksmith in this universe and then imbued with souls, or if they got transformed by someone in the rise!universe and then transported to the 12!universe (somehow landing in splinter's hands? By coincidence or on purpose?) I think this au is neat and it would be awesome to see more.

Um,

Here ya go. Hope ya like it

Remember that karai thing I asked about? Well decided to do a little comic of it.

I think it'd very funny and interesting if people were to explore weapon transformation with the Rise Boys.

I might draw more of this but idk

Screenshot in question vvvv

I hate drawing weapons 😩

BTW some are lopsided cause I got mad at my ruler.

[coridallasmultipass]

Craft blogging and personal venting

I crocheted almost the entirety of a full size cylindrical market bag today (I have one more strap to do tomorrow and then just outline the straps with a quick row of single-crochets). My hands are fucking killing me. I did the base circle (entirely eyeballed bc I could not be bothered to find the formula for a crochet circle) and then turned the bag sideways and did a foundation chain to do the body of the bag (going off a photo of a bag in TWL3) and I had to stop and redo so much of that beginning bag body because I'm not using the same yarn so it was a challenge to get the same visual texture. The show bag is like extra bulky tshirt yarn. Mine is standard cheap worsted cotton yarn. Lmao. I wound up staying with my first instinct to do treble-crochets as my worsted-weight alternative stitch. It doesn't look amazing, but it looks pretty darn good for using-what-I-have-on-hand.

I WAS going to use a bulky regular yarn I have since it's pre-striped yarn in similar colours, but the bulky didn't have teal. As I was looking in my yarn bin for teal yarn to add, I found the plain white cotton yarn. I remembered that the show bag was actually dyed stripes, not colourwork stripes/not multiple yarns/not striped yarn. I checked my yarn supplies bin and found the tie-dye supplies I bought with the plain white cotton yarn. Guess what!! I can fucking tie dye the colours I need!! Fuck yeahhhh!!

It's gonna be fun, I hope. Stripes should be pretty easy to measure out/rubber-band-off. I did a more complicated design when we did tie-dye in high school, so I'm sure I can figure it out. Only problem is, what do I do with leftover dye solution? I can maybe loosely tie-dye (just dye) parts of the shirt I was going to paint by hand, but I'd rather not since I'm not so skilled with tie-dye lol. I don't want to tie-dye my regular white shirts since they-re only a year old. Maybe it can be refrigerated/frozen for later (they're already dry-measured into bottles when I bought 'em, so I can't just measure less).

Anyways, I'm gonna have a whole fucking TWL3 Chelsea look when I'm done. I didn't even notice her bag till I was looking at fashion articles trying to see reference pics for the shirt colours since I can't screenshot the show from my phone. (I mostly took drawing notes by hand, but I needed colour refs on hand when I paint).

So yeah. On a more personal note...

I had a rough past 2 days, including having to come out to a doctor and being scared about if it will affect the unrelated healthcare I need. Yesterday I got up early to do a full glitter eyeshadow look (like used makeup glue and everything) JUST so that I wouldn't cry in the appointment/events afterwards. I hadn't worn decorative makeup in like a year, before that.

So, I cried about yesterday a lot in therapy today. (Racial microaggression REALLY fucking got to me yesterday bc that happened at a really inopportune moment of vulnerability for me.) Basically, I was feeling constant adrenaline almost the whole day yesterday. Even with meds on board. I felt sick all day the rest of today after therapy (an anniversary, but literally only for me because I was in a different time zone when that happened) and I finally started bawling while crocheting this fucking bag, just trying to do anything to keep my mind off the day, keeping something on the TV constantly (even though it was lagging all day) since, of course, it was gloomy and cold for most of today! Hate that. I'm ready for summer. I hate winter and spring, they're too cold.

I'm still feeling pretty mentally sick about everything. Really, REALLY fucking alone and sad, and I'm gonna try and sleep it off, hopefully I can feel better tomorrow and spend some time working on painting that shirt I really want. Please. I need all the funky neon rave aes clothes lmao. Maybe I'll crochet some neon smiley bag tag or something for the market bag, since I obv don't want to replicate the branded bag tag. Idk. I'm tired.

As an aside, I've been typing for a bit as I'm getting ready for bed. When I went to wash my hands, hOLY SHIT my left hand is so beefy from crocheting for like 13 hours gay lol. Might not even be able to crochet tomorrow if my arthritis acts up because of this. Rn it's just sore. Ugh. Just one more strap. And one bag tag. That's all I ask. I can paint the shirt with my right hand. (Cross-dominant handedness.)

Anyways, I'm prob gonna pass out now. Everything hurts in more ways than one. My hand needs kissies, holy fuck, it really hurts. I'm tired. I need a fucking break. I need one million dollars. I need to be at the blood rave. I need a hug. I need 7k E M/M PWP read to me as I sleep. I need a full night's rest. Good night.

[22degreehalo]

Okay. okay. I've gotten to part-way through Resonance. And then skipped ahead to read a couple of Eighteen Years chapters. And I think that's where I'm going to stop when it comes to the Turning-verse. At least for now. And I have. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings!!!

Or: anyone wanna see me ramble for almost 3,000 words about a fanfiction series? :)

So. I'm stopping because I've realised once again that there actually isn't any cathartic ending to the fic, seeing as the final part was never completed. I asked that question on tumblr about it and never got an answer but checked it over and saw that the final chapter had Josh/Sam tagged, to my relief, and then somehow in my head that morphed into it also being a tag on the the chapter before it as well, but nope: just Eighteen years. And I read a couple from that fic and it's... still not endgame Josh/Sam, right up until the last ever written.

Which: on the one hand, if I read any further, I'll just be making myself suffer. Because I do love angst and pining and complicated relationships and all that other delicious glory the Turning-verse provides, and I can even enjoy tragic or bittersweet endings, but in general, I can pick up on when that's gonna be too much for me. Did you know that I had to quit Dirk/Jake for a while because their dysfunctional relationship just stepped over the line of 'delicious angst' to 'wow I am. actually in an awful mood over this.'? (I also threw up after Jake first declared his interest in accepting Dirk's feelings, lmao. In fairness, I don't think I am capable of feelings that strong at all anymore.) (Also, that was why I threw myself so heavily into Little Busters!, so... good ending?) And with these two......... man. :'( I do just want to see them able to be together. In the Turning-verse it felt like every time they were happy or trusted each other before the end of a fic, everything was about to go horribly wrong... It takes a lot to get me actively searching for short fluff fics for a ship, lmfao.

But also. I've been reading so intensively because I needed to get to the part where things get better. And now I know that that part doesn't exist!!!!! (Not really.) That's a bit of a relief, oddly. I feel like I'm done.

Maybe I'll look for another post-canon fic and pretend that's Turning-verse, hahaha. There was one I really wanted to read until I realised it was post-canon and then thought I should save those for later.

man. I'm not looking forward to Sam leaving the show. :(

also last night I couldn't stop thinking. many MANY things but among them I just imagined years-later Turning-verse the two getting along better again for a while and then falling into bed together again. And afterwards just... being able to talk openly. And Sam being so firm about things but also, at least for this one period, understanding Josh's fears. And Josh wanting so badly for this night to not end. But afterwards maybe... maybe Josh really could get better.

I'm really glad the last of the Eighteen Years snippets exists. I've drawn the connection between Josh's PTSD and his internalised homophobia, and The Decay of Lying implied that pretty dang heavily, but that's the first time it was directly pointed out. That, actually, starting a new very stressful relationship immediately after he got shot and contracted PTSD was kind of... always destined to end in failure. I'm glad that Josh had someone who was able to give him that version of the story. Of course, the reason he hasn't had anyone is because he's too scared to talk about it... so. catch 22. :'(

I actually.............. had some mixed feelings about The Decay of Lying as a story tbh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like. DON'T GET ME WRONG. the whole thing of Josh STILL trying to insist that he isn't *gay* (or bi, for that matter), after all these years of being madly in love with and sleeping with Sam?! Chefs kiss. Perfection. Holy shit. They don't give you that good shit in fandom anymore holy fucking FUCK!!!!!!!! Like, that's it, that's the REAL realistic goddamn representation there: no maturing gradually over time, just balling up that thing you never want to admit or talk about and keeping it pressed down never to see the light of day because things are going okay without it, right? Right??? :')

Given the title, I thought the fic would focus more on the difficult position our boys would be in discussing the president's secret-keeping given their own circumstances. I think it's a little sad that it didn't. I think there was room: it's a weirdly short fic, given how much ground it covers?

Instead, that fic focuses way more on Sam's growing disillusionment with his job and Josh. And that's... eugh, it really does depress me in canon how many blows he takes around this time :( But all of that is intensified in this verse because here it's not just his coworkers keeping things from him but his boyfriend. And I thought this earlier with Speechless, but at a certain point it starts to feel... less like a filling in the blanks and more like the canon distorting the story being told here. All of the characters' actions are in-character in canon by definition (let's just go with that for the sake of the argument, anyway), but they're in-character within the context of CANON. Would Josh have kept all those things from Sam in the context of them actually dating? At the very least part of me wanted somebody to raise the question of whether it's good or sensible to ask Josh specifically to keep these things from him. But that'd be tantamount to admitting that there's a different relationship between them, I know... And then the MS thing is...

Actually, that's another thing I imagined. We know Josh can't tell Sam about the MS if we're sticking to canon scenes, and also because... uh practically speaking. As mad as Sam might be about it (mostly because of earlier context) that's. in no fucking way a thing you can tell somebody else without permission hahahhhh. But I could imagine a Sam who didn't suggest the possibility of coming out to Leo noticing that Josh is distracted and pressing him a bit and Josh admitting at least that yes there is something they're keeping from him. Of course Sam would be angry at first but once they've had some little fight I think he would just be able to accept begrudgingly that they're waiting. And after he was told it'd make sense. Hell, maybe in this version Josh gets through and convinces the president (through Leo?) to tell him earlier. (which. AGAIN suggests ~things~ but. in my version maybe Josh can take some baby steps forward. Maybe we can even envision how things could've turned out better!!!!!!!!!! frankly I think it'd be a weight off Josh's shoulders to just, drop a bomb on him and have Leo ask about it. Get it over with. Done and dusted.

But. overall it is a very depressing chapter in terms of Sam's overall... idealism and belief in humanity and such and. And I'm remember Dirk/Jake, up there. It is bumming me out more than my ideal capacity. :(

And then we have the big moment. Like i said above, I LOVE that the fic finally drew that clear connection between his panic attacks wrt Sam and his flashbacks: Sam recognising that and moving to comfort him (despite his confusion) was actually really, really good, and under different circumstances, you can tell things might have turned out better.

But... I sorta. Don't entirely love the WAY they broke up. Like. Josh trying to 'I don't know if I'm breaking up with you' is, in theory, kinda perfect? But it's all just so... I know it seems wrong to say that it's sudden when they'd been growing apart for a whole chapter. But that was malaise, not panic. When Sam tries to initiate sex, Josh is *panicked* in a way he never has been about sex before, and we never get a proper explanation for it all? The other times they broke up, there was some external event triggering Josh's fear, but here we don't get any hint of that. Yes, they're working on a campaign again, but in that case I'd expect just... him being more furtive and jumpy in general, not reluctant to have sex with Sam in his own living room. The tone just doesn't seem to match up.

Especially since he really had been jumping higher and higher over Sam's bars up until this point. In Interlude, they're actually pretty goddamn *functional*. Josh goes on a weekend trip and gets photographed with him because he knows this means something to Sam and wants to support him!!! Sam talks about them (mostly theoretically) in the context of goddamn MARRIAGE and Josh sits and works through his panic in 2 seconds and pushes through.

I guess maybe you could say that the pressure was getting to Josh, but again: what we got in the rest of The Decay of Lying was lethargy. Lack of motivation. I can say from personal experience that unfortunately, sometimes the best antidote to anxiety is to just be so tired and apathetic you just can't care anymore. Though I guess the lethargy was mostly on Sam's end. Could he have been missing the signs of Josh's ever-increasing stress?

When they broke up the first time, they had no clue what they were doing: Josh was so severely obviously not ready and Sam fooled himself about that until he couldn't anymore. The second time, they found something mostly mutual: it still wasn't great, and it was still largely caused by Josh and his panic attacks over CJ and the letter, but they were able to mutually agree that it was going badly and to be friends instead.

I sorta... wasn't expecting the third break-up to be even worse than the first one. That's hard.

Maybe if the series was totally completed, this'd be the big dramatic third-act crisis. (I mean, quite a lot of words are spent after this, so I don't think it's actually in the third act. But plot-structure-wise.) But... they don't get over this. Ever. They never make up properly now because the fic was never completed.

And it seems like even that takes a long, long time. That is... such a long time for things to be so bad between them. Maybe I need to peek in at the in-between parts and learn that Sam really actually kept thinking of Josh much the same way he did during the 10-year gap when he almost got married to Lisa, but they end things so fucking badly at the break-up and then Sam is still so resigned and depressed about life and the world and it's just... ugh. Dirk/Jake. It's giving it. It's giving me the stomach swirlies just one angle percentage too acute for me to bear. :(

And Josh seems to really fall in love with Donna. I know that's not endgame, but... the fic never ended, so. It is, actually?? And also, I don't want them to have a messy break up either :(((

Just. What I mean is: Josh's sort-of-break-up comes so out of the blue, and then it's all just so completely and irrevocably final. Which... I'm not mad at Sam for not trying harder to understand him. He has the right to react like he did. But. It feels like, in a romance story like this, he would feel a higher proportion of sad to anger. That he would want to know what triggered these thoughts in Josh all of a sudden. I know it spirals in part because of Andy, but: well, the author didn't have to bring Andy back at that exact moment!!!

And if not Sam, then... Josh really does fucking adore Sam. Is even more head over heels for him than Sam is for Josh. Yes in a moment of weakness he might try to 'semi break up' with Sam like he did, but I can't really see him just... leaving it there. I could honestly see him not even letting Sam leave the apartment, then. I could see him begging. I know it's not post-Rosslyn anymore (and even then, he only suggested Sam not see him because of the picture CJ found, remember!!!!!), but after everything they've been through, it's hard to imagine Josh not trying harder.

Which is to say. Again, I'm hoping the author didn't have them break up when they did primarily to keep the canon context of Josh dating Amy. Like... when they started writing they couldn't have known what would happen in later seasons (as we see from the Lisa episode that permanently severed it from strict canon compliance), but surely it was inevitable that one of them would get an unambiguous love interest? Or maybe I've being too pessimistic and Amy had nothing to do with it.

I started Resonance largely because I liked the idea of Amy lecturing Josh all about toxic masculinity and him struggling not to have any kind of healthy profound personal epiphany about it. I quickly realised that I remembered very little about Amy from my half-hearted first watch of the series like 10 years ago, lol. But apparently he does end up admitting to her that he had a thing with Sam, so I like that. I want to read that.

In fact, the whole extended period of them getting into other relationships but with one another weighing on their minds, and the slow process of being able to speak about it and reveal the truth to others... that is the sort of thing I daydream about a lot!!!! I'm often reluctant to put it down into fanfic because it's sort of an awkward space for a fic; I want these 2 to be endgame but one to finally admit and have some catharsis over a past queer relationship? Who is the audience for that, anyway? (Me. I'm the audience.)

Except, this time... I don't want to read it. I enjoyed the 18 Years snippet Pillow Talk right up until the end when I bounced off again. It's not even just that I want Sam and Josh to get to be endgame of this particular story, it's that... things ended *so fucking unbelievably badly.* I want Josh to be able to sigh and finally admit that yeah they were young and in love during the campaign, but he just couldn't deal with the stress so they had to end it. And maybe they slept together a couple of times after, like after Rosslyn, but they remained friends.

Like, that's one of the things I like about this ship: the capacity for those sorts of less-than-ideal but situationally-unavoidable In Between relationships, where you can be fit so easily into either romance or friendship.

But it's still got to be a POSITIVE relationship. It doesn't work if it blew up and they were never able to properly be friends again. Which. I guess they must manage somewhat, in 18 Years. Josh is trying to make Sam president. But fuck. The fallout is just... a touch too harsh, here. Dirk/Jake.

I'm a little sad Sam didn't get to just. Openly have a boyfriend for a while, after. Or maybe he does, in Winter Sun? I would've expected a Sam/OMC tag. It seems like he gets back together with Lisa, which is depressing, but at least it's depressing in the 'that's a bad idea' sense rather than the Josh/Donna sense of 'yeah they could've been really happy!! btw this is Sam/Josh endgame. But also not.'

I thought Andy's reintroduction might possibly lead to that. But I kinda dig the bringing back of Matt Skinner. I only read the prequel once I saw him show up in The Decay of Lying (I always meant to get back to it sometime after Turning Myself Into You), so when Andy made the comment about Matt hesitating for years about dating a reporter I just had to slowly cover my face remembering that whole part of Contradictions....... If only those two knew that Josh was responsible for (or, okay, at least had some sort of role in) their relationship!!!!

also. in terms of all the 'i know you know' etc. etc. stuff. Sam hanging out with Andy and Andy's boyfriend comes too and Matt being an old friend of Josh's. there's a lot to do with all that. mainly stuff that would make Josh very uncomfortable but liiiike there's a reason I enjoyed the fic so much this far?????

okay. I think I might have gotten out all the thoughts I've had today. Somehow :'D

Y'know, the surprisingly fun part of The Decay of Lying not quite hitting right? I get to go back to the end of Tripartisan and all of Interlude and pretend that's the end of the series and imagine a happier canonical ending <333 Maybe I really should split things off at Josh telling him there's a secret and go from there.

Which is to say that I'm not talking about *fixing* the series. It is very very very very good!!!!!!!!!! But, well. Whenever I really really enjoy something that inspires me a lot, I've just got to come up with other idea for how things might have gone differently, you know? Not necessarily *better*, just... differently.

Which is to say that if Jae Gecko is still out there - well, for one thing, this was all written a very long time ago so I'm not sure my nitpicking above would have any relevance at all anymore, lmfao. But if I did get to speak with them, I would just be... super mega fangirly, beginning to end. That's all I'd need to say <3333