#I'm sad and very worried | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ordordordordord · 2 years ago

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Okay I do not know who Sue Zhao is but all of her poetry is absolutely HEART-WRENCHING and I just wanna see if she's okay. Like do you need a hug?? Do you want to talk about it over some tea and fruit?? I get it man I'm here for you

#poetry #Tiktok poetry slideshows #writing #poetrytok #Sue Zhao #Are you okay though????? Like genuinely???#I'm sad and very worried

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sysig · 9 months ago

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Blood sugar levels (Patreon)

#Doodles #ISaT #Siffrin #And implied Isa and Mira from offscreen but it's fine lol #Kinda sorta spoilers in the tags be warned #Man these poses were fun to draw - hand poses and body and ah <3 Fun!#This was one of those comics that came to me pretty much fully formed and then I had to do it - it was very fun which I'm very glad for!#Probably the funnest were the first - third - and fourth panels :D #The way their cloak falls around them ah pretty <3 #That big spooky eye hidden under the brim of their hat <3 #That one was really fun to edit too :D Writing [FAILURE] elsewhere on the page and then overlaying it :) Fun!#I wonder if Siffrin would die of starvation faster than normal due to the [redacted]#And since that would kill him it'd make him loop back - even tho it's also somewhat powered by food?#It's curious! I like it :)#I imagine his innate magic also powers it somewhat but hmmm recursive #Not that he died here anyway :) One of those fun ones before Loop spells it out for him :)#I have to wonder if All those loops we don't get to see are mundane hmm ♪ How many of them are forced out of Sif's mind so we as the player #Will just never know ♪ I suppose we'll never know! Haha #The exhaustion of having to keep his body running it's really the depression simulator #Sif :( They're gonna worry about you anyway!#It's amazing what our minds just refuse to process when we're in The Sads™ haha

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jade-len · 7 months ago

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Me, fully prepared to be a little ass: If I were a horrible person and killed a bunch of people, would you report me to the police? lol

My older brother: Even if you were a monster, i'd protect you. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to hate or punish you. You turning out that way would be my fault because I should've been a better sibling. In the end, you'll always be my responsibility, and more importantly, my younger brother. I'll always love you.

Me, about to fucking bawl my eyes out: Hey what the fuck

so anyways after careful consideration and recollecting, that's how i came to the devastating realization that my older brother was a yue qingyuan kinnie.

#it was smth like that #sometimes i'm like ''wow are peoples older brothers usually so rodrick-y or asshole-y??'' and i look at my older brother #who gets sad when i don't want him to buy anything for me #also it was things like #'im to blame so don't worry about it ok?' 'it was my fault so dont worry. do you want to eat out?' etc #and i was like ''man this sounds like some yqy dialogue'' and boom #yes he's the eldest #he's like... way older than me lol #anyways i love my big bro sm #hes a very good brother #last week he treated me out to ice cream and ramen #we're about to finish arcane together!!#those rare times when i don't wanna hang out with him he has the energy of a sopping wet puppy that just got kicked #yue qingyuan #svsss

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fandomestuff · 2 years ago

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I uhhh... wanted to post this shot

with a caption like "Omg!! Powerful mother and son we love!" or anywhere along these lines (knowing me and my blog this would all be in caps but shush not the point of this post)

But then I noticed this

THEY BOTH HAVE TEARS IN THEIR EYES (there's the caps I was talking about hi)

WHY

THE ONLY ANSWER THAT COMES TO MY MIND IS A VERY OBVIOUS ONE THAT I'M NOT EVEN GONNA SAY

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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago

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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all

#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him #it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain #I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded #what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually #'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically #on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here #it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside #ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me #'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age #dragon age spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard #rook x lucanis #lucanis dellamorte #rookanis #rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training #('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house #(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love #the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me

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naamahdarling · 4 months ago

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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know #who depend on me for everything #barely recognize me as a friend or helper #and are so incredibly incredibly fragile #i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling #and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before #but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet #who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits #but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal #i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow #and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself #i just hadn't fully understood the extent #we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me #they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy #because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d #and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections #but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way #and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were #which is impossible #we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that #i don't know #it's just a lot to deal with #and i feel very lonely and sad about it #and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it #and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too #dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other

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almightyhamslice · 6 months ago

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Banban goes to heaven and just sits down and cries because he's never been to a place so kind and loving to him unconditionally. It is a perfect world but he does not believe he deserves such compassion from the universe and can't fathom being given good things without also suffering.

And heaven is literally just the candy mountain from Kipper s3 Arnold's Balloon Trip for some reason.

#art #traditional art #marker art #Banban Resort #Garten of Banban #Banban #vent art #can you believe it! a drawing this whimsical to vent!! I'm like actually going thru some shit rn #but thats not rlly for you to be worried about as my audience so #just enjoy the banban drawing ok #I think it's cute! it just makes me incredibly sad to think about #also if you're curious why it's Kipper it's a rlly long story #to keep it short Kipper is very nostalgic for me n every time I remember that episode I cry #plus heaven for banban WOULD be somewhere that is all candy I think

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astralhope · 8 months ago

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I get so happy when I see Astral enthusiastic for a duel.

Even if most of his duels are a matter of life and death for him and he can't play them directly, he still enjoys dueling with all his being.

#Astral my beloved #Seeing him enthusiastic in general makes me happy #I care about him so much #and I love how Yuma is the one worried this time #“I'm happy to see you excited but we are in a bad situation right now!”#meanwhile Astral already had a strategy to turn the duel in their favor #I love him very much #and I'm very sad that he never got to do a normal duel in either the anime or manga #he deserves to have fun in a duel without risking his own life #astral zexal #yuma tsukumo #yugioh zexal #astral yugioh #zexal #ygo zexal #yu gi oh zexal #zexal manga

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deoidesign · 8 months ago

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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schnaf · 7 months ago

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day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos

#xdinary heroes #jungsu #kim jungsu #jun han #junhan #jooyeon #gunil #ode #gaon #han hyeongjun #lee jooyeon #goo gunil #oh seungmin #kwak jiseok #jungsu23 #forfreddy #HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down #(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way #this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating #and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it #and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy #but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much #and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own #who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu

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infinitelymint · 18 hours ago

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another little snippet of what's now 8k of Violet feeling like proper shit and thinking a baby might fix it (spoiler alert, it won't)

He cups her cheek and she hates herself a little bit for turning into the touch, for savouring the warmth and the feel of his hand against her skin. It’s been so long since she was last touched with any kind of affection that wasn’t from her dragons. It’s a testament to just how long that she lets him of all people. She squeezes her eyes closed tightly, willing herself to keep the tears at bay.

She’s missed it so much, the feel of someone else’s hands on her body. The comfort of a simple, platonic touch. She has missed the connection, the intimacy, the knowledge that someone cares. Gods, she thinks again, what she wouldn’t give for a simple hug.

“Vi,” he breathes, and there he goes again with the ‘Vi’, breaking down her walls even further. He sounds heartbroken and she can’t quite grasp why. He doesn’t care about her, so why does he suddenly sound like he does?

“I don’t think I’m okay,” she confesses and there’s no amount of squeezing her eyes closed that will hold the tears back now, not when she's finally uttered the truth that she has known intimately for months and months out loud. She feels the tears fall down her cheeks, leaving wet, hot tracks in their wake, like a map of her sadness. It doesn’t take long for his thumb to come up to wipe them away.

“I know,” he says, and there’s none of that brute efficiency or cold detachment she'd come to know from him during the war. His tone is gentle. It’s nothing like she remembers him, nothing like the picture she has of him in her mind. She doesn't know how to reconcile this version of him with the one who's only ever shown her indifference or frustration before.

She thinks that maybe peace time allows some to break down, and others to take care of the pieces that are left in ways that war time never could.

#I don't know man #this needs heavy editing and I do think Violet is maybe too sad in this #the involuntary depression fic #(now that's a tag)#but I'm trying to just get it onto the page as it wants to go #(I am a theatre major I love me some melodrama)#and then hopefully I can rein it back in afterwards #or maybe she'll just get to be very saddy sad #I'm actually mostly worried about the balance in their relationship and like taking it from this to love #because the way it's structured right now she's been really neglected #maybe I need to work on Xaden's motivations a bit more to figure it out hmm hmmm #anyway that's a problem for tomorrow's me #I would say enjoy but I don't think there's much enjoyment to be had here unfortunately #and I who just wanted to write some fluff haha #am I laughing or crying nobody knows #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #riorgail #riorgail fic #riorgail snippet #violet and xaden

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ohsweetflips · 7 days ago

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somewhere on this blog there is a post that goes something like "what if i just start identifying as nonbinary and don't tell anyone and still go by she/her" and that needs to be marked as the day that pandora's box opened

#ik it's my blog etc etc etc but i do try to not sad post often anymore just bc after a while #it becomes a lot akjdsjkdjk #however. this is also the closest i have to an unfiltered diary. so!#idk man ik (im pretty sure) rapid onset dysphoria is a thing or something but like #edit: the most rudimentary of google searches show that this may or may not actually be what i mean but like. 20% effort went into that #the magnitude of bad i have felt in the past week is kinda wild to me #like ive been feeling stuff softly like that for a while now w/ an increase come september #for like. reasons that ik but also reasons that dont necessarily matter rn #but it's like. less a realization and more so steps of becoming more comfortable/feeling more secure #but in that security i essentially run into a brick wall #like i joke abt whatever post i made years ago but it's like #lowk this feels like what i was worried abt this happening LMAO #like this idea of things kinda actualizing in my mind for me #but the actual capability of what i can do feeling limited #like. i have no clue what transitioning would/could necessarily look like for me #but it's starting to feel very much like: whatever it is won't happen #which ik is like. bad queer mindset 1 #and then i am falling to bad queer mindset 2 of like. feeling bad that this took so long #and that i didnt put together stuff. or try more. earlier.#and that i've now like. run out of time. which ik is not true so like.#the self-awareness is here! i'm also just stubborn lmao #and like idk currently i'm just in the hell of not wanting to do the middle stuff #i just want to wake up one morning and be different AKJDFKJFDKJFD #anyways! i swear im not actively trying to spiral like every day this week #just my mental constitution is weak and susceptible to demons. and also anxiety and sadness LMAO #and as me and my roommate say. it's never too early for the guilt spiral.#also the pandora's box technically opened when i was like 15 but.#we put a lid on that and then everything came back worse when i was like. idk 19/20.

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kuwdora · 7 months ago

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heyo tumblr friendos, what is bringing you joy and respite these days? get into a new show lately? eat a nice food? does anyone have any cute animal pictures to share? what are you all reading? or writing? late stage capitalism is wearing me down. I'm clinging to my vid WIP like it's a buoy lest my anxiety send me into a spiral.

#blogdora #y'all will see me sprinting thru tags fannishly foaming per the usual but it's been such a rollercoaster of not fun times #i'm struggling to keep up with most of the cool things everyone is making and sharing but know i love all the things you're makingggg #i'm very very tired #and sad and scared #and that's not even covering my worries about my friends and politics and everything else. just my corner of frustrations.

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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago

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jesus christ you can actually see rook's eyes go a little soft as they look at varric at the end of the opening bar scene. that's awful. that's awful for me personally and specifically. a

#rye 'you're my dad! boogie woogie' ingellvar about to be going through it fr fr so bad for a whole game.......#'what did I have to worry about? I had you watching my back didn't I? :)' what if I just. fell over on the spot and collapsed #dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar #varric tethras #there are a couple of times you can see them check in with him in the background too. I'm very sad #so weird to see the dagger on the ground suddenly without explanation and fully have your brain do the record scratch of 'oh no...'#I am doing my second rye run now. tried to start another character but like. no. my boy. where is my boy. show him to me #so nightmare run with rye time is NOW let's go let's speedrun getting to emotional support corvid bae haha #(also going for 'he/him' more fully this time around I know him now I think that's more right)

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queer-cosette · 12 days ago

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"Like I'll make it up to you later - I'll give you the best sex of your life that night, I'll do all the dishes, I'll cook for you - actually, I can't cook, I'll buy you pizza - but please let me have this."

-actual quote from my boytoy in regards to the possibility of his annual Gaming Night With The Lads crossing over with me potentially staying at his house in theoretical future summers

#this made me laugh so hard. darling I have friends I want to go out and get stoned with #I'm not gonna be mad at you for hosting lads' night at your house #like I've got a friend with a weed grinder and another friend who can roll like mad and a copy of Baking Yesteryear by B Dylan Hollis #the musical ensemble (me (enby) and my girlies and my surrogate brother) are gonna roll two joints and try to make cookies while blazed #all that said. I will not be turning down the offer of the best sex of my life. or the pizza #but it also makes me so sad for him because the reason he's so worried is cause his ex wouldn't let him do this #coco speaks #mr no name kid #the (mis)adventures of a very silly bisexual girlie

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winepresswrath · 8 months ago

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i am absolutely a nicki girl by the way it's just that much like show!lestat my love for him is so pure he doesn't even have to be hot. he can be an ugly crier with a floppy lil wig it only inspires tenderness.

#i'm kind of worried the show will feel the need to minimize him so louis-lestat can shine. it does not! he's the blueprint for all the sad #bitches who came after but it's very clear louis is the one who drove lestat fully out of his mind forever #don't actually love the show's take on romance and monogamy. i feel like it's in conversation with #twilight vampire mormonism and also modern fuck boy culture #the original has nothing to do with either of those things and i think has a very specific take on romantic love and fidelity #that exists on the border of what is love to the dead. like when you strip away the social constructs of the living and reinvent love for #yourself outside of those boundaries what does it look like #and my specialist blorbo is the little black dress of my world and i ship him with everyone #like i'm a lestat was cheating on louis with antoine truther but the special sauce was that he wasn't actually going outside the boundaries #of his relationship with louis he was playing games and daring him to admit he cared enough to be mad about it #like it's the oblique bitchiness of louis being like oh i wish he'd just hurry it up and eat him #that would be kinder #the way antoine does very much offer something to lestat that louis doesn't #and not just like. a dumping ground for his frustrations at home #music! affection! they were FRIENDS #was lestat thinking about eating him the whole time probably but that's not the point #press says iwtv #interview with the vampire #nicolas de lenfent

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