#PLEASE LET THOSE BE HAPPY TEARS BECAUSE RAINE PROPOSED

[fandomestuff]

I uhhh... wanted to post this shot

with a caption like "Omg!! Powerful mother and son we love!" or anywhere along these lines (knowing me and my blog this would all be in caps but shush not the point of this post)

But then I noticed this

THEY BOTH HAVE TEARS IN THEIR EYES (there's the caps I was talking about hi)

WHY

WHY

THE ONLY ANSWER THAT COMES TO MY MIND IS A VERY OBVIOUS ONE THAT I'M NOT EVEN GONNA SAY

[deathofacupid]

all you had to do was stay | tom holland

tw: mentions of unprescribed pills and angst. mild cursing- but like, that's in all my imagines... do i still need to put that as a warning? i'm not really sure if i'm great at writing sad stuff like this, so please lemme know if there's anything i can change or make better. as long as it's constructive criticism. (1.6k+ words). angst!

also, this song is "for taylor," and all the credit goes to liv. i do not own this song! disclaimer: not all the lyrics are listed/in order.

it was weird, you had decided, but not really. maybe somewhere deep down you had known it wasn't going to last forever. in fact, you were slightly surprised it had lasted for as long as it did.

one year, ten months, and thirteen days.

that's when he decided you just weren't good enough for him, that you weren't exciting, special, or particularly intriguing. that's how long it took. the saddest part? you were already planning something special for the two year anniversary.

four months and two days.

that's how long it's been since he's left. since you've gotten any decent sleep, eaten a good meal, or even genuinely smiled. since he broke your heart and took some of the pieces with him, and if you didn't have all the parts, how were you supposed to put it back together?

looking back in hindsight, you hadn't seen it coming. every "i love you" he uttered, you thought was true. you believed it and kept it close to your heart, as if those words were the only things keeping you going.

tell me why i thought we were happy i felt the sparks fly

standing there in the empty park, you let the tears cascade down your cheeks, grateful that there wasn't anyone there. it was the same place he tried to let you down softly, telling you that it simply wasn't working. something about clashing schedules. bullshit.

the second he said the words "break up," it was like everything stopped. as if the hands of time themselves didn't know what to do with the world, and so froze there delicately. he had been odd the last couple of days, and you were so stupidly naive to think he may have been proposing to you. it made so much sense to you, the picnic date, stuttering, tripping over his words.

it burned your insides, like whatever was left of your heart was on fire, and there was that funny feeling in your stomach. not the feeling you got when you used to think of him, because those were light and airy butterflies. these were angry t-rexes, rampaging around. it felt like crushed, sharp pieces of glass were scratching your throat, with every breath you took.

everything hurt to do, and even the smallest things reminded you of him.

but now I'm right where you left me i felt it babe like midnight rain our love story began to change

you exhaled through your nose, trying to calm down. your head was pounding and all you wanted to do was sleep. but no amount of unprescribed sleeping pills would push away the intrusive thoughts that poked at your head, constantly reminding you of what the two of you could have been.

it wasn't like you didn't try to make time for tom.

because you did. so much. was it fair to pin it all on yourself? or were the clashing schedules just an excuse for something else? maybe he found someone else. someone better.

at work, perhaps. a pretty actress, one with long legs, beautiful hair, deep eyes, and clear skin. someone who could make him laugh relentlessly, and never gave him a hard time. they didn't fight, or disagree, and had the same movie preference. the two would share playlists or songs, and of course they'd share aux. they would cuddle at night, and whisper sweet nothings to each other before falling asleep, intertwined together. and best of all, they'd never have to worry about making time for each other because they would be on set together so much.

all he had to do was be there. to love you, and if that was strong enough, then everything would have worked out. why? because it had to. or was your love not enough for both you and him? in that case, was it your fault, or his?

all you had to do was stay your name was on my heart but now it's just erased all that left is just a blank space and all you had to do was stay, stay, stay

all you had left consisted of two of his old sweatshirts, that you still hadn't washed or worn, afraid that his scent would leave, and memories. sweet nothings that swirled around in your brain, leaving nothing but a migraine in the end, alongside a heavy heart. one so full of pain and sorrow, it felt as if it was pulling you down.

it was unfair, you thought, that one person could do all this damage.

i thought we had something now its a sweet nothing it's time to go i never saw it coming

and then he had the impudence to ask if they could "still be friends." how can you be just friends with someone you've kissed with so much passion? seen things, that friends haven't, or done things? how can you push all those old feelings away, like they never even existed in the first place? how do you play pretend like that?

so you said no. you told him the truth, that you weren't sure you could do that. and through the disappointment, you saw that he understood. and you were honestly shocked that you had found any words at all. you were crying the second that he had said those words, and instantly left. he had called your name as you walked away, hiding at the back of a pharmacy as you waited for the uber you called to pick you up.

it was funny to think about. not "haha" funny, but a bittersweet, dreadful funny. that the last kiss you had was the morning he broke up with you. really, it was just a simple peck since he hadn't been too touchy the last couple of days. but you realized that that was your last kiss with him, and it wouldn't ever happen again. 

that was it. that was all.

the story of us has an end our last kiss won't happen again

you laid there in bed, gasping and panting as you woke up from another nightmare. or more accurately, a memory. something that had already happened. but you would've preferred a nightmare instead. this was just an ugly reminder of what was. you hadn't been in contact with him lately, but you knew he thought of you.

how do you just date someone for almost two years and then forget about them?

you were sure that he thought of you. that he dreamed of you, too.

but were they nightmares like yours? painful and miserable, happy turned sad?

i bet you think about me i bet I'm still in your wildest dreams

and then one day came, where you sat in a coffee shop, frustrated that you accidently got his order instead of your own. sitting there at a two person table with a disgustingly plain black coffee, you reached a conclusion.

that it wasn't your fault. and that you wouldn't spend anymore months lying in bed sobbing and holding his jacket to your face, upset that you couldn't do more.

yes, you'd probably have breakdowns over him from time to time, but you were done blaming yourself. how would you live like that, with utter self-deprecation eating away at you? it wasn't healthy.

you weren't saying that you were over him, but this was a start. not quite acceptance, but you were slowly starting to greet it. you also hoped that he didn't blame you for this. because if anything, it was more his fault then yours. then why did you feel guilty blaming him? honestly, that didn't feel right either.

and when you're reminiscing you can blame yourself but don't blame me this love is tragic, baby

sitting on your bed, you held a book in your lap, one that had been worn out, being read so many times. you were reading the pages, but you weren't taking them in. just looking at the words, skimming across them. beside you, your phone dinged with a notification, with an update on your boy- ex-boyfriend, it was nothing but a new article. and you hated yourself for opening it. 

there was a picture at the top, one of him kissing a girl on a walk where you used to take out tessa with him. warm saliva coated your tongue and you felt a strangled sob rise up your chest, and you scrolled further down, browsing the words.

a mix of "new girlfriend" and "what about y/n?" was all that needed to be summarized. so you scrolled further down, into the comment section.

user 1

I 

oml that's fucking zendaya

user 2

I

wasnt he dating y/n

user 3

I

cheating??

user 1 (replying to user 3)

I

idk kinda makes sense theyre on the same set so

and in verbatim, that was it. you hadn't bothered to read more, because at that point, ugly cries were already taking over and with the tears that blurred your eyes, you couldn't see anyways.

she won't love you like the way I loved you belong with me

it was a putrid thought, not one you should've had, but you couldn't help but think it. you would always feel that way, and nothing would change it. to you, he would always be yours. and he'd forever hold a part of you, and you'd come to realization with the fact you didn't want that part back. he could have it. tom could have it.

it could have worked. maybe. but that's all it'd ever be. a lingering thought in your head, swirling around, with no other home.

all you had to do was stay your name was on my heart but now its just erased all that left is just a blank space and all you had to do was stay stay, stay, stay

all he had to do was stay.

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Shield

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, John Walker, Emotions, Character Death, Mentions of Blood, I know people had a hard time with that last scene so please take caution because it is in this part! GIF at end is the ending scene, so be careful when you get towards the bottom! I feel like I’m forgetting some, so just know this one’s a bit more than the others.

A/N: Here it is, folks! The Part we’ve all been waiting for! It’s the longest one I’ve written so far but so much happened and I couldn’t find a better spot to end it than where the episode ended. Thank you all for being patient with me today. I know I didn’t get this out as quickly as I would’ve the past few weeks, but you guys are so awesome! Seriously! I love that you understand I do have a life and work comes first! Thank you, thank you!

This Part is a doozy, guys, and…I’m sorry? But not really. I’m SUPER excited to see where this is gonna go, especially considering Episode 5 is supposed to be the real tear jerker. I can’t believe there’s only two more episodes! I’ve grown so attached to these characters just in the past month! I’m so glad I’m able to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you guys, too! You’re honestly the best!

I’ll be doing more One Shots this week, so look for those on the Masterlist. I’m still taking requests for them, so if there’s anything you want explored about the reader and her relationships that you don’t think will be explored in this Series, just ask and I’ll try to add it to the One Shot list.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

(I couldn’t decide on which GIF to use because there are so many good ones! Thank you Tumblr Creators!)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“Doll…hey. Doll. C’mon, sweetheart. We gotta get moving.”

You cracked your eyes open begrudgingly, squinting up to see Bucky’s amused grin, head tilted and eyes soft. “Huh?”

He chuckled as you rubbed your eyes, confusion lifting an eyebrow. “The funeral. Zemo said we’ve gotta go if we’re gonna make it in time.”

“Wait, but…huh?”

Sniggering again at your reaction, he held up your phone. “You passed out in the middle of a chapter, sleepyhead.” He teased lightly, grabbing your hand and gently pulling you to sit upright. “It’s almost been an hour.”

You huffed tiredly, stretching and placing your feet on the floor, taking back the phone he held out to you. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You haven’t been sleeping well.” He stated, like it should’ve been obvious. “How’s your arm feeling?”

“Better than earlier. It’s just sore. That’s all.”

He studied your features for any hint of a lie. Not finding one, he nodded, holding out his hand. “Okay. But tell me if it starts bothering you.”

You placed your hand in his, marveling for a split second at how big his hands were compared to yours - something you noticed every time but still it never ceased to astound you. He tugged you up, and you looked up to meet his worried eyes, remembering his question.

“I will, Buck. Promise.”

He nodded, tilting his head towards the door. “C’mon, cuddle bug. We don’t wanna miss this.”

A groan passed your lips, but you nodded and followed Bucky out into the main room, where Sam chuckled at you from his spot at the table. “Sleeping beauty has finally awoken.”

You flipped Sam off groggily. “Are we going or not?”

“Do you wanna wake up s’more first?”

“No.” You answered the one armed brunette. “I’ll just splash some water on my face or something. I’ll be fine by the time we get there. Where’s-”

“Looking for me?”

Zemo strolled out, now dressed in that coat of his, that smug smirk on his lips. You scowled. “I wish I wasn’t.”

Sam stood up, standing subconsciously between you and Zemo. “Let’s head out.”

You nodded in agreement, shooting the Baron one more glare, before following him out the door and into the city, Bucky right besides you, shoulders brushing as if you weren’t ignoring him just hours prior.

The walk was mostly silent, a few jests between Bucky and Sam plus a couple comments from Zemo here and there. You talked about strategy, with Sam bringing up the fact that he wanted to try convincing Karli to step down. Zemo didn’t look pleased with the arrangement, but both you and Bucky relented, agreeing to let Sam at least try.

It wasn’t until you were close to your destination according to Zemo that anything exciting happened.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit!”

Hell. No. 

The moment the voice registered in your brain, your jaw tightened, your teeth starting to grind together as you held back the very not nice things you wanted to say. 

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called out, tucking you into his side protectively, and a little possessively you noted, as Walker and Hoskins came down the steps, the two groups nearing each other.

You were relieved when the subject of Zemo escaping jail went by relatively quickly, Walker latching onto the fact that you were going to talk to Karli instead of focusing on the escaped fugitive in front of him.

You very nearly punched him when he ran in front of you after Sam told him the plan, making the four of you stop in your tracks, but Bucky’s arm tightened around your shoulders, holding you in place next to him.

“You’re gonna let him do this?” Walker questioned Bucky in disbelief, self righteous judgement practically dripping from your tone. “You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super soldier alone?”

Bucky’s jaw ticked. “He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”

“And you?” Walker narrowed his eyes towards you. “I expected more from you; the last original Avenger.”

You snorted, shaking your head. He obviously didn’t know how chaotic the Avengers were. What Sam was proposing? You’d seen it a million times with Steve alone. Not considering Nat, Clint, Thor, even Bruce and Tony. All of them willing to try to negotiate before running in, bullets raining and hell rising. “First, I’m not the last original. I’m technically not even an original. Second, I trust Sam with my life and I’m standing by his decision. He’s my brother. As a soldier, I would’ve thought you understood that.”

Before he could respond, Sam stepped around Bucky. You saw the reluctance in Walker’s eyes as he admitted a temporary defeat once Hoskins agreed with Sam. The fact that he was so unwilling to try to save more lives - including Karli’s - made the truth that he wasn’t, and would never, be your Captain harden deeper into your heart.

Ignoring Walker’s confusion as you followed the little girl Zemo befriended - which was weird, you’d admit, but it was getting you closer to Karli - Bucky’s arm slipped from your shoulders, hand sliding across your back and skimming down your arm to grip your hand. Even through your jacket, you felt goosebumps erupt along his fingers’ trail.

You finally came to your destination and you let out a small breath. If everything went smoothly, this mission could finally be over and you could go home and take a bath, get take out, get out a bottle of wine, watch TV, and just relax.

What a dream.

“Hey.” You stopped Sam before he could go through the entrance of where the girl said Karli was, holding his forearm. “You want me to come with you?”

He shook his head. “I think it’ll be better if I go alone.”

You nodded, letting go without any hesitance. “Okay. Be careful.”

“Always.” And despite all you’ve been through, no matter how many times he’s followed Steve’s lead in doing something stupid, you knew he meant it. You nodded again, before he disappeared around the corner.

You leaned back against the wall, Bucky once again wrapping an arm around your shoulder now that you weren’t walking - he liked having mobility on the move, hence the reason he held your hand instead - leaning besides you and pulling you against his chest.

Ten minutes. You tried looking at Bucky’s watch, which was on the wrist of the arm around you. He noticed and turned his wrist slightly, bending his elbow more, which brought you even closer to him, showing you the time.

Giving a small sigh, you nodded slightly and dropped your head back against his bicep, your hands shoving in your pockets, one of your feet coming up to rest against the wall. Bucky shifted to your other side so he could stand in front of the doors to where Karli and Sam were, pulling you against his back, arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly.

It was a long ten minutes. You kept eyeing Walker, and you couldn’t help the anger burning through you as he held the shield in his hands. That damn shield. It wasn’t his. It would never be his. And he would never understand it. The fact that the shield didn’t make Captain America. The shield isn’t what made Steve a good man. Not even the Serum did. He already was one. Steve made the shield what it was, not the other way around.

But then you remembered a conversation you had, years ago, and your eyes flitted up to Bucky’s hardened face, the brunette staring intensely at the ground.

~

You didn’t get it. You were confused. You knew how important Barnes - Bucky - was to Steve. But apparently you didn’t understand it quite yet.

You watched from the entrance of the hallway, leaning against the wall, as Bucky went under once more.

Steve stood there for a moment longer, before turning and walking towards you. “Why’d you do it?”

He raised an eyebrow at you while you turned to walk with him down the hall. “Do what?”

“Give up the shield. And don’t say it doesn’t belong to you. It does. Howard gave it to you. You’re the reason it’s…a symbol.”

He hummed. “And what exactly is it a symbol for, honey?”

You scoffed. “Uh, freedom? Justice? Resilience? The defense of the whole life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness thing?”

He stopped, facing you with a strange expression on his face, thoughtful. “I dropped it because I can’t be that anymore. Not right now. People don’t have the same beliefs they used to have. How can I stand up for freedom and let the Sokovia Accords track every person they deem a threat, just like HYDRA tried doing? How can I be a symbol for justice and let Bucky take the fall for something that he wasn’t in control of? I can’t. And until the world is ready to change…I can’t be Captain America.”

~

And suddenly, it seemed to click. Steve gave up the shield for Bucky because the world wasn’t ready to admit it was wrong. Just like Sam gave up the shield for himself and his family because the world wasn’t ready for the truth that would come with him becoming Captain America.

God…when did a metal circle become so complicated?

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty lil’ head’a yours?” His whisper in your ear startled you out of your thoughts, his nose brushing against your temple tenderly as he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.

You looked up at him and shook your head. Of all the things Steve gave up, he never gave up Bucky. And it used to confuse you, but you understood then. His blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and slight concern, his fingers tracing patterns along your collarbone with a barely-there touch that was so light it didn’t seem to exist. You finally understood. Not just Steve’s decision, but Sam’s too. And maybe you didn’t understand it fully, and that was okay, because you weren’t them, so you never would, but you understood a little bit.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, keeping your voice down so the others couldn’t hear, the conversation being a private one, “I’m just waiting for this to be over.”

He hummed, nodding in agreement, setting his chin on your head. “Me too.”

Walker started pacing the room about half way through, getting too antsy for your liking. “Shhh.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, feeling you tense as Walker started talking. “It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky stated confidently, straightening slightly from his leaning position, arms falling from your form. The two of you exchanged glances as Walker checked the clock over on the far wall, blocked from your view.

“I’m going in.” Walker strode across the room, heading for the entrance, no doubt willing to steam roll anything - anyone - in his way.

Bucky stopped him with a hand on his chest. You glanced back and forth between the two as Walker spoke, arms crossed tightly over your chest. “Buck…we promised him ten minutes.” You reminded him, seeing his resolve crumble a bit. You could guess he was thinking of the nightmares. The people he couldn’t save. The blood he already considered on his hands.

Walker used his moment of hesitation, shoving past him roughly. “I’m not waiting.”

“John!”

“Walker!”

You followed after him, you and Bucky arguing with him and Hoskins about giving Sam more time, but it was too late.

“Karli Morgenthau! You’re under arrest!”

“Fuck.” You hissed out when you saw Sam’s panicked expression, looking at you confused. Walker was flown across the room when Karli punched him, Bucky shoving Hoskins out of the way to run after her.

“Y/N-”

You threw your hands up. “I tried, Sam! C’mon!”

You and Sam ran over to some stairs, turning corners and trying to remember what the building looked like from outside to cut her off, but you only ran into Bucky again. 

“I wish we had the layout or something.” You grumbled. “We were that close-”

“We’re not done yet, doll.” Nodding, you followed the boys out, Bucky pausing every so often to try to hear anything. “I’ve got gunshots.” At that, the three of you took off towards the sound, Bucky leading the way.

Just around the corner from where Bucky heard the gunshots, you thought you saw a couple people slip around another bend. Noticing you had stopped, Bucky backtracked. “You okay?’

“Yeah.” Deciding it wasn’t worth the pursuit, you turned to him and nodded towards the doorway Sam already went through. He gave you a look, but nodded and the two of you jogged into the room.

You sighed heavily, seeing Zemo knocked out on the floor, Walker standing over him and broken vials that were previously full of, what you assumed was, the Serum. Hoskins ran in right after you, meaning no one but Walker and Zemo knew what happened. Meaning you would probably never get the full, true story.

What fun it is to work with manipulators and liars.

********************

“I don’t like him.” Bucky grumbled, the two of you walking up to the place you were staying in, Bucky holding the door open for you.

“I know you don’t, Buck. I don’t either.” You had asked Bucky to go with you to get some fresh air once you got back, Zemo having woken up a few minutes after and Walker and Hoskins had to make a call or something official like the good soldiers they were. “He’s hiding something.”

“You think?” Bucky scoffed, giving you a look.

You rolled your eyes. “I mean…I don’t know. When we found him and Zemo…my gut twisted.”

He nodded in understanding, his face twisting into a scowl. “Yeah. Mine did too.”

You stopped him before you could walk through the door to the main room. “Do me a favor?” He nodded again with a little hum. Catching his chin between your fingers, your free hand moved to smooth out the creases between his brow. “Stop brooding so much. It makes me worried.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, features softening slightly. “Are you really gonna leave in the morning? I know you’ve had a lot of people telling you to take a break, and it’s selfish for me to ask you to stay, but…I dunno if I can finish this without you.”

“I-” You sighed, ducking your head as you thought of a response, before looking up in his wide eyes, begging for you to stick around longer. “Let’s just finish the day and see what happens next. Okay?”

He bit his lip, nodding slightly. You gave him a smile, before tugging on his hand. “I need a drink.”

He chuckled at that. “That I can fix, doll.” He, again, opened the door for you, and the two of you walked in.

“What a gentleman. Straight outta the 40’s.” You joked, making him roll his eyes.

He took off his jacket, heading to the kitchen, while you sat on the opposite side of the island. “Somethin’s not right about Walker.”

Sam gave you two an amused look. “You don’t say.”

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one.” He opened the lid of the bottle he grabbed, starting to pour two glasses of whiskey for the both of you. “Because I am crazy.”

You rolled your eyes as Sam responded, “can’t argue with that.”

“You shouldn’t have given him the shield.”

Giving Bucky a disapproving look over the rim of your glass, you sipped your drink, narrowing your eyes when he ignored you. “I didn’t give him the shield.”

“Well Steve definitely didn’t.”

Your glass slammed down on the counter. Why did he have to bring this up right now? Seriously? You were just having a nice conversation about places you wanted to visit while taking a walk outside. Why was he suddenly snapping?

Before you could scold him, the doors burst open, making your head whip over as Walker stormed in, “ordering” you to hand over Zemo.

You stayed sitting, leaning on the counter and facing the opposite wall as Sam told him off, giving an amused snicker as you sipped your drink. Bucky sat besides you, facing Walker, and you recognized from the angle he was positioning himself that he was blocking you from Walker’s view, whether intentional or not.

You raised an eyebrow, turning in interest when Walker put down the shield, knowing Sam wasn’t about to fight the man. What an ego the blonde had.

Before anything could happen, however, a spear pierced through the air, lodging in the pillar next to Walker’s head.

Your frustration with Bucky’s comment flew out of your head as Ayo and a few other Dora Milaje walked in. Bucky sat up straighter and you stood up, leaning ever so slightly against his arm.

You nearly facepalmed, a sound of complete disbelief leaving you as Walker introduced himself. Sam looked over at you two, an entertained, slightly incredulous smile on his face.

Sam tried warning him. He really did. But Walker, you’ve come to find, was an arrogant, egotistical narcissist who only wanted to win and would do whatever it takes to do so. Even when there wasn’t really a winner. At least, not in that situation. It seemed that Walker liked ignoring the gray area in the world, which wasn’t good. Not in the least.

Which is why you couldn’t really feel sorry for the man. You saw it coming as soon as he told them they didn’t have jurisdiction. And the moment he touched Ayo?

You put your chin on Bucky’s shoulder - who had stood up from his spot - watching the Dora Milaje kick Walker’s ass, wincing and cringing mockingly at the right moments, making Bucky smirk at you.

“We should do something.” Sam said, although he didn’t look thrilled about the prospect.

Bucky crossed his arms. “Looking strong, John!”

You gave a slight snort, not wanting to encourage anything, but unable to hold in your amusement. Bucky winked at you, clinking his cup of whiskey with your own, before taking a gulp.

“Bucky.” 

You huffed and stepped back at Sam’s tone. “C’mon, Buck.”

“Fine.” Bucky grunted. “But ‘M not happy about it.”

Soon, the three of you, plus Walker and Hoskins, were all occupied with a member of the Dora Milaje. You knew you couldn’t take them; they were on a higher level that Natasha, and you could barely beat her. But you weren’t necessarily trying to win.

It was a strange fight, knowing that no one - except Walker, probably - actually wanted to hurt anyone. Of course, that didn’t stop one of them from exploiting your injured shoulder that she spotted rather quickly. The hits were quick and precise, the tip of her spear cutting along the graze, hitting the spot just perfect enough to reopen it. The stitches that had been placed only a couple days ago ripped, making you wince and clutch your now bleeding shoulder.

“Oh fuck.” You groaned. “You were always good with those things.”

She gave you an almost apologetic look, before she looked over to Ayo, who stepped through the room towards the bathroom where Zemo had locked himself in during the chaos.

When you caught sight of the shoulder thing she did to Bucky, his metallic arm now laying on the floor, his eyes wide and his stance stunned, your jaw nearly dropped. You guessed it made sense that they had a way to do that, but, still. None of you were expecting it.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked once they started leaving, Bucky picking up his arm and connecting it to his shoulder.

“No.” The arm whirred as he swung it, getting it back to normal.

You couldn’t help the little giggle that left you, making Bucky raise an eyebrow at you. You tried holding in more laughs, but they just kept coming. “She-she...she disarmed you!”

Bucky rolled his eyes as you chortled, holding your stomach and bending over. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Oh come on!” You straightened and wiped your eyes. “That was good! Wasn’t it, Sammy?”

Sammy chuckled and nodded. “I’ll admit, it was pretty good. This, however, is not.”

Your laughter died as Sam made his way over to the bathroom, the light air that came with your cackles dissipating as quickly as it came.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.”

You stared at the drain that was uncovered - large enough for Zemo to slip inside and escape. He did it. The son of a bitch finally did it. It took him long enough. You would’ve betted against him days ago.

“I can.” Bucky turned and grabbed your hand. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

*********************

“I thought you told them.”

Bucky looked up from wrapping your shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I thought you told them. The Dora Milaje. Wakanda. T���Challa. I thought you told them about Zemo.”

He leaned back with a sigh. “It was kinda a last minute decision. You know that. You were there.”

You nodded. “I do. But I also know what they’ve done for you. Shuri and Ayo. I was there for that, too. And you know what he did to them. To their country. Their king.”

“I know, I know. I almost died several times because of it.”

Your eyebrows pinched in confusion. “So why-”

“I thought it’d be quick. I thought, maybe, I could do it without them finding out and then we could get to Karli and they wouldn’t be disappointed. Win win.”

Your cheek caught between your teeth as you thought. “You could’ve just asked-”

He shook his head. “They would’ve said no. You know that.”

“Okay. Fine. Yes. I know that. But…but giving them a warning would’ve been better than this.” He hung his head, closing his eyes. “Bucky. Hey,” hooking a finger under his chin, you tilted his head back up to look at you. “I know it’s been hard for you. Everything has. And I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I shouldn’t have let you come along. You should be healing, and it’s my fault you’re not.” He opened his mouth, face scrunching up in disagreement, but you shook your head. “It’s true. I just…I didn’t know it would come this far.” You gnawed on your bottom lip studying those captivating eyes, before sighing. “Which is why I’m not leaving.”

He perked up, those pretty eyes going wide, jaw slackening. “You-you’re not?!”

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to run away, you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. “It wouldn’t be fair to you or Sam. I promised to help, and I brought you into it. So I’m gonna stay.

“Are you, uh…are you sure? You don’t hafta if you don’t wanna, doll. I know I kinda pushed you earlier, but-”

“I’m sure Buck.” You nodded firmly. “Just…do something for me?”

“I dunno if I can promise not brooding, sweetheart.”

You giggled at his words. “Not that. Just…stop giving Sam a hard time. About the shield. Please.”

His soft features hardened and he scowled. “If he didn’t give it up-”

“He thought it was going to the museum. I told you about that, remember? I told you we’d go when I got back.”

Giving a slight nod, he sighed. “We never did.”

“We will. But, I’m serious, Buck. Please. It’s not his fault. He did exactly what Steve did.” At Bucky’s confused look, you pursed your lips, looking down at his hands, starting to play with his fingers. “Remember how I was thinking during those ten minutes we had?” He nodded. “I was thinking about how Steve gave the shield back to Tony. After saving you. In Siberia. You remember that?” Another nod was given, so you continued. “It was for you, James. Because you made him realize that he didn’t want to be the face of a country that preached one thing, but did another. And that’s what Sam did. He did it for his family. For himself. Because no one wants to fight for a country that goes against your personal beliefs, no matter what they say.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Bucky’s eyes squinted, his brow creasing as he tried processing what you were telling him.

“That’s okay. Not everyone will. Really only they can understand their own reasoning. But you have to try to understand that he did what he thought was best for himself. For Steve. For the shield. And I know - dammit do I know - that it’s the last thing left of him. But it is just metal. Isn’t it? Steve’s the reason it is what it is. No one else. And no one is going to change that.”

Bucky took a breath, glossy, worried eyes meeting yours. “Walker’s going to ruin it. I know he is. I can feel it. Everything Steve worked for. I don’t care about Captain America. I care about the kid from Brooklyn who wanted to make a difference, no matter how little he was. I trusted him. I followed him through bullets and blood, with only that shield between us and them. He was home on a battlefield in Italy across the ocean from New York. And that shield was the welcome mat. It doesn’t matter what it says, what it looks like…but it protected my home when I couldn’t. But now? I feel like it’s tearing my home down. Pulling out the bricks. And it hurts. It was never about the shield, Y/N. It was always about the man it protected when I couldn’t be there for him. And now?”

Gathering him in your arms as he trailed off, you gave a couple little sniffles, pressing your face in his hair, nails scratching the nape of his neck lightly. “I’ll be your welcome mat, Buckaroo.” You offered.

He shook his head, pulling away to hold your face between his hands. “No, sweetheart. You’re not the welcome mat. You’re the new bricks replacing the old. You’re…you’re my home, now, doll.”

You swallowed thickly, unable to handle the rush of emotions that just poured through you, the sudden change in topic making you feel more vulnerable than you’d like. You leaned forwards, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, feeling him go lax in your arms. “And you’re mine.” You murmured softly, before getting up and heading out for the room, unable to stay any longer. You still had a mission to do. One that became even more desperate with Zemo loose, Walker unhinged, and Karli being so close.

******************

There was a silent agreement to not bring up your conversation. Not yet, at least. Sam had eyed you both when you came out of the room, saying you were ready to get moving, but he didn’t say anything either.

None of you really knew where you were going, only what you had to do. Find Zemo and get to Karli before Walker could. Both of which were a lot easier said than done.

Until Sam got a call from Sarah, who told him Karli contacted her personally and threatened her and her sons. She left a contact number for Sam, evidently wanting to meet. His phone dinged not a minute after he texted the number.

“She said come alone.”

“Well that’s not happening.” You opposed, crossing your arms.

Bucky nodded with your sentence. “We’re coming with you.”

Sam didn’t say anything against it, the three of you exchanging glances, before heading out to the location, changing into your tactical suits along the way.

Karli didn’t seem to mind you and Bucky tagging along, and you understood why the moment she mentioned not killing Sam because he wasn’t hiding behind a shield. It was a distraction. They were going after Walker.

It was confirmed only moments later when Sharon contacted Sam. “Looks like he found them, or maybe they found him.”

As soon as Sam announced that it was Walker, you jumped into action, Sam disabling Karli for just the right amount of time for you to get a head start. “I’ll send you the location. Go.” He told Bucky, who nodded and took off in his super soldier sprint. “You hitching a ride?”

You rolled your eyes at his slight tease. “I hate this so much.” You grumbled, catching his hand as he took off in the air with his bird costume. He held onto you tightly, like the millions of times you’d done this before, although it didn’t make you any less dizzy, traveling that fast, that high, with only his hold keeping you from dropping. “You’re lucky I trust you so much!”

He gave a small chuckle at your shout over the wind. “We’re landing! Brace yourself!” You followed his order, just in time for him to break through the glass ceiling of the building Walker was in. The both of you landed on a platform on the staircase just as a Flag Smasher was thrown through double glass doors, down the stairs, and into a power box. Your eyes went wide as Walker strolled down the steps, oozing a confidence that made you nervous. The moment Walker stopped the Flag Smasher - the Super Soldier - from hitting him with the pipe, you knew even before he twisted it like a pretzel.

“Sam.” You breathed out. You couldn’t even do anything, only watching as the Flag Smasher got up from being thrown again, and running down a hall.

“What’d you do?”

“They got Lemar.” Was the only reply he gave, brushing past you and Sam. You gave Sam a look, but he just jerked his head down the hall, in the direction the Flag Smasher went and the way Walker started heading. You nodded, willing to drop it for now to save someone’s life, but you were so bringing it up once this was done.

Jogging into the room, you should’ve expected the ambush in the room, but, to be honest, they didn’t take as much advantage as they could’ve, so it wasn’t too difficult of a fight. You had trained with Steve millions of times before, so you knew how to go against a Super Soldier. Granted, your Cap wasn’t trying to kill you while training, but it was better than nothing.

You protected your shoulder, knowing that was your weak point, while trying to disguise it so whoever you were fighting wouldn’t realize your Achilles’ Heel. Something you often found while dealing with Steve, and even Bucky, was that Super Soldiers, as quick as they were, tended to favor the super strength side of their enhancements. This made it easier for you to dodge the attacks, knowing most of your blows wouldn’t do much.

Knowing you wouldn’t be able to stay on the defensive for long, you decided to try to get an advantage over them. Disarming them and taking their knife was easy enough. A small advantage, yeah, but now you had a weapon, and you could work with that.

You weren’t exactly sure when Bucky joined the fight, but he did, immediately coming over to you when you body kicked your opponent, helping you up. “That was a Steve move.” Your eyes caught sight of the Flag Smasher behind him and you shoved his shoulder down, throwing your knife, making it land solidly in the man’s shoulder. Bucky looked up at you from his crouch, impressed. “And that was a me move.”

You shrugged. “I’m a visual learner.”

You, Sam, and Bucky were about to go for another round with the guys when a sickening crack sounded behind you, and you whipped around. 

Hoskins was against a split pillar, a crimson streak running down his forehead, head lolling to the side, lips red and cracked. The fight stopped as Walker rushed over to his friend, but you knew there was no way he survived. A punch from a Super Soldier? That hard?

Eyeing the Flag Smashers, you turned to Sam and Bucky when they started dispersing, Karli running out as well. They nodded towards you and the three of you took off after her, not wanting to let her get away again and, for you, at least, wanting to give Walker some time.

You weren’t expecting his grief to turn into such raw hatred. 

Running up to the city square, you didn’t actually see it happen. Just the aftermath. Which was good, considering you nearly threw up just seeing that.

You heard the change in Bucky’s breathing, barely recognizing the way he stepped in front of you, only realizing you stepped closer when you felt his sleeve against your palms, fingers tightly wrapped around his forearm. A choked sound came from somewhere, but you didn’t know it was you, even as Bucky reached his arm around to hold your waist, keeping you behind his shoulder. 

Tears leaked down your face silently, eyes unable to look away as Walker straightened, sliding the shield on his arm, too nonchalantly for someone who just murdered another in front of a crowd full of people, cameras pointed towards him.

The shield. That piece of metal you had been wondering so deeply about the past couple of weeks. The link to the first person you’d ever loved. Ruined. Tarnished. Stained.

You could barely breathe, your throat clenching so tightly it was a wonder you were able to get anything out at all.

“James…”

[chimielie]

Kita / break up (I just want pain)

You don't think breakups are supposed to feel like this. Shinsuke—you suppose you need to get used to calling him Kita, now—just keeps talking, saying sympathetic, reasonable things you can't hear over your own heartbeat.

“And I think even though it hurts now, eventually, it’s gonna be good for the both of us.” Shinsuke finishes. You feel rendered momentarily speechless by the sheer stupid indignity of that statement. What were you supposed to say to that? You’re right, thank you for making this decision for us, I’ll just roll right over and move on now.

“I feel like I’m dying, Shinsuke,” you say instead, leaning forward to twist in the knife, because fuck calling him by his last name when his first name was practically the first word you ever spoke. You’d be embarrassed by the dramatics, except your voice is wrecked, a wrathful, tear-soaked rasp straight from the bottom of your chest. The first tear falls from his eye. “D’you understand that? This isn’t a game, or a chore, or anythin’ with clean steps. You’re hurting me.” Maybe he still has a shred of love for you somewhere, or maybe it’s just muscle memory, but he wipes your tears away with the back of his second knuckle, conscious of how rough the pads of his fingers are.

The path here was paved with smooth, flat stones. No one told you the way would be shut this far along. They’d told you—you’d done everything right. You’d always loved him, and to prove it, you’d told him so on your sixteenth birthday (then ran away), and you’d accepted the flowers he brought to your doorstep the week after. He’d looked so bashful, clutching those stems of hand-picked poppies. You keep seeing that boy on the backs of your eyelids, sweet and unassuming, quiet but determined to be heard when he confessed he felt the same way.

You had gone straight to helping him with the farm after you graduated; you’d never imagined a future away from home, and the longer you spent at Shinsuke’s side, the clearer the picture of home became. While your friends had moved away, calling you to complain about finals and job searches and the stresses of living in new cities, the conversations had inevitably ended in not that you and Kita-san can relate, huh? You guys have it all together. You had laughed and demurely shrugged off the compliment, and thought smugly about its truth while you were snuggled up with him next to a roaring fire built of wood you’d watched him chop. You had built a life together. You had done everything you had been told led straight to a happy life and you were, suffice it to say, not happy.

Last week, your friends had asked when he would propose. You were still young, maybe, but anyone who knew you and Shinsuke’s great love story wouldn’t have batted an eye. Today, he was breaking up with you.

“You don’t get to touch me anymore. You didn’t even want to fight for us,” you say, scooting away from him. “Just, one day, this isn’t what you wanted. Just telling me you know what’s best for me. You gave up.”

“I thought about it, first,” he says. “I didn’t know it would be so bad.”

“God, Shinsuke. Let me be.” You beg him for this softly, made when he tries, again, to comfort you. As if anything could comfort you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and a vicious part of you you didn’t know existed is happy he’s feeling as well as you do. “You’re crying, I can’t stand it, please—”

Grief is a river. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression. As soon as you register one, you feel yourself flit to the next, cycling back and around as soon as you make yourself some breathing room.

“No,” you shake your head. He shudders, physically, and you can feel the tear between you two as keenly as if living tissue had been cut from you. “You did this. Don’t feel guilty.”

“I’m sorry,” he echoes. His face tugs at your heartstrings.

Acceptance. Rain, washing over you, stinging where it touches but leaving new, clean skin behind. You close your eyes.

You see it plainly then, though you’re not sure he can. Kita Shinsuke can’t live without you. And you can no longer live with him.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

Updated 24/6/2021

∞ Oneshots/Scenarios

Trying to wake him but only to be cuddled

Gojo & S/O take Megumi as their son

S/O not used to compliments 

Taking pictures of his  S/O

S/O Insecure of their relationship

Sees his eyes for the first time

S/O who’s having an anxiety attack

S/O wiping Gojo’s kiss

Gojo wiping S/O’s kiss

Comforting a sad S/O after a mission

S/O wears Gojo’s shirt

S/O makes Gojo eat spicy food

S/O who helps Gojo (MANGA SPOILERS)

Comforting a sad S/O

Comforting a sad S/O 2

Ex to Lovers

Reader most romantic confession

Gojo’s Birthday Fic 2020

Comforting stressed S/O

Geto kidnapping Wife!Reader

Dog!Gojo Satoru x Reader

Comforting childhood bestfriend 

Husband material

Flower giving

If only I had somewhere to sit

Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Comforting Gojo

Gojo having a nightmare

Cheering up his S/O

Gojo making reader laugh in a meeting

Clingy in the morning 

In the shower

One of These Nights

From Behind

Gojo caught crying

A Taste?

Early Mornings

Gojo & the twins wanting another baby I

Gojo & the twins wanting another baby II

A Promise

Reader getting her period and Gojo notices

Lazy & Affectionate

Telling him you’re pregnant

The Gojo twins visiting Jujutsu HIgh

∞ Headcanons

Engagement Headcanons

Chubby S/O

Gojo turned into a child

F!Short & Strong S/O

Newborn curse reader

Curious childlike reader

S/O who is good at hand to hand combat

Cuddling Headcanons

Pregnancy Headcanons

Reader afraid of rejection

Tall & Strong Cursed Spirit

Suicidal Reader 

Long haired reader

Big sister reader

Affectionate S/O

Celebrate reader’s birthday

Toxic lover

What does Gojo Satoru smell like?

Working out 

Type of girl Gojo would fall for

Pregnant reader wants to decorate for Christmas

Gojo wanting a baby

Gojo trying to make stotic!reader smile 

Gojo Twins #1 

M!Strong & Short S/O

S/O memory loss

Popular F!Reader

S/O turns into a child

Shy S/O

S/O protects Gojo

Clumsy S/O

Day off with Gojo

Shopping with Gojo

Valentine’s Day

Insecure skinny S/O

Gojo x Idol!Reader

Agrument with his S/O

Merman!Gojo

∞Skipps Imagines

Why?

My Everything

A Moment

Afternoon Naps

I’ll be here

∞Random Gojou Satoru Headcanons Series

1   2   3

∞  SFW Alphabet

SFW Satoru Gojo Edition

∞ Prompt Event

Fluff # 12 “Could you say that again?” “Were you listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice”

Fluff prompt #26 “You’re really warm.”

Fluff Prompt # 1 “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

Fluff Prompt # 44 “You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

Fluff Prompt #19 “ You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/him/her/them) home.”

Fluff Prompt #18 “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes” #27 “Are you blushing?”

Fluff Prompt #4 “Kiss me.” & #13 “ I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

Fluff Prompt #7 “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

Fluff Prompt #10 “Stop moving and let me braid your hair!”

Fluff Prompt #39 “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

Fluff Prompt #9 “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.” #26 “You’re really warm.”

Fluff Prompt #31 “I’m never gonna to leave you. I promise” #44 “You’re an idiot. But I am your idiot.”

Fluff Prompt #4 “Kiss me” and General Prompt #17 “Are you jealous?”

Fluff Prompt #30 “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

Fluff Prompt #16 “Can you just please hold me ?”

Fluff Prompt #7 “ You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.” General #17 “Are you jealous?”

General prompt #46&#48 “Are they really just a "friend”? “I won’t hurt you”

General Prompt #2 “It’s pouring rain, why are you here?” #50 “I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

General Prompt 17 “Are you jealous?”

General Prompt #17 “Are you jealous?” & #25 “She doesn’t belong with him!” “Than who does she belong with?” “with me…”

Angst prompt # 28 “Move out of my way before I make you”

Angst Prompt #12 “Maybe they were right, you never did change.” & #14 “ Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

Angst Prompt #21 “It’s (her,him,they), isn’t it?” & #36 “They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”

Angst Prompt #6 “You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?"

Angst Prompt #47 “ You deserve so much better.” #48 “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” 

Angst Prompt “If you love me please let me go, please…”

∞ Winter Prompt Event

Winter Prompt #1 “What do you mean we’re out of hot chocolate?”

Winter Prompt #2 (Cuddling by the fireplace)

Winter Prompt #13 “Your hands are freezing!”

Winter Prompt #14 “ Aren’t you cold like that?”

Winter Prompt #17 (watching movies under a pile of blankets)

Winter Prompt #18 (snowball fight)

Winter Prompt #22 (kissing in the snow)

Winter Prompt #32 “There’s no way I’m letting you spend Christmas alone.”

Winter Prompt #37 (stuck in a snow storm)

Winter Prompt #38 “ You’re under the mistletoe so stop stalling and just kiss.”

Winter Prompt #43 “What do you mean Santa’s not real?”

Winter Prompt #50 “Those were for Santa!”

Winter Prompt #54 (Winter power outage) Gojo Satoru Edition

Winter Prompt #56 “Shhhh, don’t tell her/him!”

Winter Prompt #60 “I feel like there’s more frosting on you than on the gingerbread.”

Winter Prompt #10 “Where did all this mistletoe come from?” #61 “What are you doing with that mistletoe-oh.” #64 “I guess… this is when we kiss?”

Winter Prompt #65 “No, we’re not getting a puppy for Christmas. Stop. Asking.”

Winter Prompt #66 “ You don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? YOU HEATHEN”

Winter Prompt #68 (Winter Proposal)

Winter Prompt #70 “You’re perfectly welcome to kiss whoever you wa-”

Winter Prompt #72 “Did everyone else come with a date?”

∞Smut Prompt Event (1k Followers Event)

Smut Prompt #21 “You’re bigger than I expected.”

Smut Prompt #54 “ You’re going to regret that, sweetheart.”

Smut Prompt #55 “Were you dreaming about me again?”

Smut Prompt #1 “We’re in public, you know.”

Smut Prompt #3 “Can you help me with this zipper?”

Smut Prompt #28 “Oh god, how can you manage to switch from cute to sexy in under a second?”

Smut Prompt #53 “What do you mean not yet? You can’t expect me not to cum when you’re fucking me so good!”

Smut Prompt #16 “Forget the bed. Let’s fuck right here.”

Smut Prompt #11 “You’re really gonna make me beg for it?”

Smut Prompt #5 “Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it’s working.”

Smut Prompt #44 “If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

Smut Prompt #46 “You’re not allowed to cum without my permission.”

Smut Prompt #6 “I’d hold on to something it I were you.”

Smut Prompt #27 “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

Smut Prompt #42 “I know for a fact you’re a lot louder than that.”

Smut Prompt #41 “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

Smut Prompt #39 “ Angel in the streets, freak in the sheets.”

Smut Prompt #15 “Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.”

Smut Prompt #48 “Holy shit, you’re so fucking sexy like that.”

∞Physical Affection Prompt

Physical Affection Prompt #11 (Back hugs)

Physical Affection Prompt #1 (Pats on the head)

Physical Affection Prompt #9 (Wiping away their tears)

Physical Affection Prompt #18 (Wiping food away from their lips)

Physical Affection Prompt #23 (A hug some might consider too long)

Physical Affection Prompt #7 (Squishing their cheeks)

Physical Affection Prompt #8 (Brushing hands by accident)

Physical Affection Prompt #15 (The biggest warmest hug)

Physical Affection Prompt #13 (Kissing someone’s forehead)

Physical Affection Prompt #6 (Chasing after their lips after they pull away)

Physical Affection Prompt #25 (Playfully biting)

Physical Affection Prompt #4 (A hug after not seeing them for a long time)

Physical Affection Prompt #21 (Accidently knocking your head against their chin)

Physical Affection Prompt #22 (Kissing their cuts/bruises/scratches)

∞Incorrect Jujutsu Kaisen Quotes

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7

∞  Skipps Art

Random Gojo 1

Cat ears for Gojo

Dog Hybrid Gojo

Happy New Year 2021

Mochi Gojo

1k Followers

2k Followers

[mae-gi-writes]

Once Again (PT.4) | Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyu!)

ONCE AGAIN | PART FOUR

Summary

Iwaizumi’s broken marriage results in his five-year-old son trying to match him up with his primary school teacher, whom he thinks will make a wonderful replacement for a mother.

Genre: fluff, angst, f! Reader x dad! Iwaizumi

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

----

"Miss Y/N, is daddy okay?" Hoisuke peers up at you from the backseat as you pull up to your apartment unit. You glance at him through the rearview mirror and smile, "don't worry, he's fine. He's just going to be slightly late."

Iwaizumi had called you earlier that day, sounding breathless and stressed out as he iterated how slow traffic was moving. On impulse, you'd proposed to bring Hoisuke over to your house to make things more comfortable and after a slight bout of hesitation, he'd agreed to pick his son up in the comfort of your home.

"This is the first time I come to your place, miss Y/N," Hoisuke's eyes are darting back and forth across the tiny kitchenette to your right to the small tv screen plugged to the wall on the left. Granted, your flat is merely anything special and far from ready for unexpected guests. But the sharp curiosity gleaming in your student's eyes holds no judgement and for that you apprrciate him all the more.

"You hungry?" You ask while settling him down at your tiny dinner table compact enough to fit snuggly up to your kitchen counter.

Hoisuke purses his lips in thought and you swear he's learnt this facial expression from observing his father, "hm yeah. A little bit," before throwing you a sheepish grin.

So you whip up something simple; omelette rice with your special Korean chilli sauce as a sudden downpour splatters through the cityscape, the rain dancing to its own rhythm as it splatters over your windowpane. The TV plays in the background, a random cartoon that gets interrupted with Hoisuke's giggles and that ignites an affectionate smile on your lips as you chide himto eat. And you're not really sure why your chest feels tight and filled to the brim with comfort, but you realise you don't actually mind having the small human around that much.

Teachers aren't supposed to have favourites. But you admit to yourself that teachers are only human. And if you are to choose, Hoisuke would be one of yours.

"Miss Y/N, do you have a boyfriend?" Hoisuke's voice pierces through your thoughts and as you blink down at him, you shake your head, "no, I'm single as a pringle."

"You are not married then."

"No I'm not."

"Great!" Hoisuke jumps up on his seat, eyes twinkling with mischief, "then do you want to marry daddy?"

"What?" You laugh out, "it doesn't work that way Hoisuke."

"But I like you miss Y/N," he replies with the seriousness of a child wanting his way, "You'd be a great mum. Can you be my mum?"

"Oh gosh kiddo," your hand reachea out to ruffle his hair, heart twisting at how easily he leans into your touch, "I'd love to be your mum, but--"

"Then marry my dad," Hoisuke's mumble is muffled against your side. He unconsciously snuggles up to you and you caress the top of his head down to his nape, "daddy likes you too. He really likes you. You make him happy. He laughs a lot when you're around, and he doesn't get sad like he usually does when Mama is here."

"But that would be unfair to your mum wouldn't it?" You say softly, "you can't have two mums. She'll be upset."

There's a slight pause where you can see the cogs turning in his brain, "yeah," he says eventually, "but I don't really like going to Mama's anyway--"

The sound of your doorbell jolts you both to attention. You give Hoisuke's head one more ruffle before getting up to unlock the door.

Only to come face to face with none other than Hoisuke's mother.

You blink. Once. Twice. Unconsciously taking a step back.

She's pretty. Prettier up close, with those feline cat eyes and that full mouth that renders any man crazy. Standing a few inches higher than you, there is no doubt as to why Iwaizumi had fallen for her charms in the first place. She looks like the kind of woman that would still be elegant even dressed in a mechanician's uniform.

"H-Hello," your eyes dart from hers to a blank spot on the wall opposite, "can I help?"

"Where's Hoisuke?" Her voice is smooth, yet hard enough to make you wince.

"I--" your mind races. Isn't Iwaizumi supposed to pick him up? And how the hell does she know where you live?

She seems to read your face as she says, "I saw you with my son leaving the school. You're his...teacher, aren't you? I was waiting to pick him up."

"I thought Iwaizumi-san--"

"I don't need a reason to see my son," she arches her brows at you in a way that makes you want to crawl under a carpet and hide.

"Mama?" Hoisuke's voice floats from behind you, a tentative waver of nervousness as you hear him pad up to the door.

"Does Iwaizumi-san know you're picking him up?" You hope your tone is diplomatic, but the way her body tenses proves you otherwise, "You can tell him Hoisuke's with his mother," she nods at her child, "now come on Hoisuke. Let's go home."

Maybe feeling the tension in the air, Hoisuke merely shrinks back, "but it's Daddy that picks me up."

"Yes well, Daddy's not here now is he?" She gestures aggressively towards him, "now come on."

"Maybe we should wait until Iwaizumi-san gets here," you try to smooth things over, "he's on his way--"

"Don't tell me what to do with my child," Mizune snaps and without warning, grabbing hold of Hoisuke's arm before pulling him out of the flat. He resists.

"Mama no, let's wait for Daddy--"

"Daddy isn't coming. Now stop being so difficult," she doesn't relent against the way her son twists and kicks at the ground while you stand there, mind blind with panic because you've never actually had to deal with such a situation before.

"Mama please!" Hoisuke cries out with a sob.

You want to move. You urge yourself to. But your feet won't budge. It's like you're rooted in place.

Hoisuke has started crying at this point and in an attempt to smoothen things out, you try again by saying, "I'm sure we can all calm down and talk this out. As a teacher, I cannot--"

"That's right," Mizune's feline pupils narrow down on you, making you flinch at the rage simmering through those dark orbs, "you're his teacher. And as a teacher, you should know how to keep your boundaries. You're not his mother and you never will be. So fucking stay out of my family's life."

The words burn as they etch themselves into memory and you can only watch, hand clutched to the door as Mizune drags her crying son away. His cries are loud enough that they bounce throughout the corridor and keeps resonating even when he's long gone, as you try to comb through the last fifteen minutes where everything has turned upside down.

Fucking stay out of my family's life.

Your brain reels. Your heart feels heavy. You don't know what to do, what to say.

And Mizune's words are as sharp as a knife.

Don't tell me what to do with my child.

A sob slowly catches the back of your throat, eyes slowly brimming with an onset of tears.

You're not his mother.

The truth hurts. You know that Hoisuke is not your child, know that all this time it's merely Iwaizumi and his son, and then you watching on the sidelines. But hearing the cold rejection thrust in your face hurts more than you'll admit.

You aren't quite sure how long you stand there gazing into the empty corridor as if if you will it hard enough, Hoisuke will come running back to you. It is only when a familiar alto reaches your ears that you snap back to attention:

"Y/N?"

Jerking at the sound and looking up to see none other than Iwaizumi, drenched and breathless, standing a few feet away from you, your breath hitches in warning.

He closes the distance between you, frowning upon noticing the tears at the corner or your eyes, "what's wrong? Where is Hoisuke--"

"I'm..." your eyes drop to the ground, "I'm sorry," your whimper is barely above a whisper and you feel him move closee, his hand gently grasping your arm.

"Y/N?" His voice is gentle, though ragged and breathy, "what happened?"

It's probably the gentlest he's ever been with you. Turning away to cup your mouth with your hand, your teeth clamp down onto your lower lip in hopes of keeping the emotion from spilling over.

"Mizune came," you murmur out, "she took Hoisuke home."

There's a sharp intake of breath on his part. A pause, "how did--"

"She followed us."

Iwaizumi lets out a sigh as he moves towards you and you stagger back to hide your tears, but it proves useless when his hand grasps your arm to pull your hand away.

Deep brown mocha meet yours. Your throat tightens.

"Sorry," you breathe out a forced chuckle but it's clear from Iwaizumi's face that he's spotted your tears, and that he just knows that there is something bothering you.

But he doesn't ask. Doesn't question your intent or your feelings.

Instead, he pulls you close, close enough you're stumbling into him, before his hand wounds around the back of your head and presses you against his shoulder.

It shocks you, the sudden intimacy of his touch. His citrus smell once again invades your space and you can't find it in yourself to keep on holding on before you break down.

Maybe it's because you had felt-- at this point in time -- that you were someone significant in Hoisuke and Iwaizumi's life that you're not crying into Iwaizumi's shoulder as if everything is going downhill in your life. But you're comforted by the casual way he holds you with his head turned away so that you can bury yourself in the crook of his collarbone.

"Sorry," you manage to mumble out after you've managed to calm down. He's moved you back into your flat and has sat you down onto your kitchen chair, having rummaged through your utensils to bring you a cup of water that you sip on gratefully, if only to act as a distraction from the way he's gazing at you.

Iwaizumi shakes his head silently, looks away and clears his throat, "I'm gonna call her. You good?"

You nod and after searching your face for a few more seconds, he slides out of his seat and walks away with the device already presses to his ear. Bowing your head and gulping down the rest of the water, you manage to block out his angry alto resonating through the compact space as you focus on regaining control of yourself. You rarely fall to pieces like that, rarely give in to the downward pull of your emotions because the nature of your job obliges you to.

"Y/N."

You jump involuntarily and look up to see the said man sporting a frown, "is Hoisuke okay?" You ask.

"He's fine," a sigh escapes his lips as he slides back into the chair as if there's a weight pressing down onto his shoulders, "I'll pick him up tomorrow after school."

You nod. Good, the last thing you need is for Hoisuke to be disrupted by problems that don't concern him.

When he speaks next though, his alto is hoarse and thick, "I'm sorry Y/N. You don't deserve to get in the middle of all this."

"It's okay."

His eyes pierce yours with burning hot intensity, causing your gaze to drop to your fists laying across the table, knuckles so tight they're turning white.

A bout of silence ensues, lest for the pounding in your heart while your thoughts take on a tumultous turn for the worse. What if Mizune is angry? What if she stops Hoisuke from coming to school altogether? What if she makes her child move just for the sake of keeping him away from his teacher who can't seem to keep her nose out of anyone's business? What if--

Warmth floods your hands so suddenly that it interrupts your train of thought. Head jerking up in surprise to see Iwaizumi's hands clasp yours, your blood suddenly pulses through your limbs upon feeling his thumb gently stroke over your knuckles.

Iwaizumi is not a man of words. That much you know, but this evening has been full of surprises for you both. So you force yourself to relax, almost enjoying the gentlest of his touches fluttering across your skin.

"How," your words are choked, "how angry is she?"

"That doesn't matter."

"But what if--"

"None of this is your fault, Y/N," he replies firmly, followed by a gentle squeeze, "whatever you have cooking in that head of yours, stop."

Nodding and sighing in defeat, you lapse into a more comfortable silence as the time dwindles on. It's different to have someone else occupying your flat, considering that you've gotten so used to living along after your horrible breakup. A good kind of different.

When you bid him goodbye that evening -- granted you shall wake up with dark circles and puffy eyes the next day -- he suprises you with another casual, one-armed hug which signifies so much more for the usually reserved man, Hoisuke's bag hanging loosely from the other. He holds you close, his grip strong and secure and making you wish you can melt in a puddle of warmth at his feet, while his cheek pillows atop your temple against the side of your head. You lean in, cozy and warm, while his heart beats underneath your ear like a gentle drum easing you of today's worries and you wish you have the willpower to keep yourself away, in vain.

He pulls away slightly, mutters a soft "night" before a ghost of a kiss imprints itself on your temple.

Your breath hitches but the moment is gone all too son. He's already swivelling around and making his way down the corridor, leaving you to stare after him with a wild, raging heart.

You know, without a doubt, that you're already a little too skin-deep.

----

Iwaizumi is furious. Filled to the brim with a rage that's threatening to bubble over his insides.

He'd gone round to fetch Hoisuke in the morning as promised, just managing to keep himself from knocking his ex-wife's double mahogany doors down only to be greeted by that stupid bastard who'd stolen his wife away.

Todoka had always roamed within the same circle of friends as Iwaizumi and Mixune, having met under the same dormitory roof and sharing common sports interests. So imagine how big of a slap it was to hear that he'd been the one stealing kisses and sharing soft subtle touches with his wife behind his back.

"I could've driven him if only you'd let me," Mizune had told him as they waited for Hoisuke to finish brushing his teeth. is ex-wife's familiar soprano made him tense. Her face was a cold mask of indifference that covered up her silent anger. She'd folded her arms, chin jutted out and lips pursed, "he's my son too, you know."

"Was he still your son when you went and fucked Todoka?"

She'd sighed. As if dealing with the tantrum of a child, "Why are you bringing this up again?"

"Because you never put him first. Not when he threw his tantrums, not when he cried for you. Not even when he was sick," Iwaizumi spat out, the words tasting bitter upon his tongue.

"I had issues Hajime, you know that--"

"Like what? Like we weren't good enough for you? Like I wasn't pulling myself apart while you were out for nights on end?" Iwaizumi would've continued with an onslaught of pent-up statements if his son hadn't spoken out:

"Daddy?"

"Hey bud," Iwaizumi's anger had deflated like a hot air balloon, "you ready to go?"

And so he packed his son up in the car, his ex-wife watching his every move, and just after he'd closed his vehicle door did Mizune mention something about you.

"Do you like her?"

He'd bristled, "none of your business."

"Hoisuke is my son," Mizune's eyes had hardened into steel, "I don't need anyone else filling up his head with stupid ideas, nor do I want him to get hurt--"

"Like you did?" The words were fire burning upon his tongue. His shoulders were squared as he faced her fully, "stop beating around the bush, Mizune. We both know you hate the fact that Hoisuke loves spending time with Y/N."

"That's not it, I--"

"Y/N has spent more time with Hoisuke in a week than you did in a month. She's wiped his tears more timesthat you've seen him cry," he swivels towards his car then, "are we done?"

"You're acting like a child."

"I'm not the one picking a fight because of some petty jealousy," Iwaizumi had snapped.

"I'm not jealous!" Mizune burst out, her patience finally wearing thin, "I'm trying to look out for him, for you! She's not right for you--"

"Don't. Talk about her like that,” Anger had flared at how dismissively she spoke of you, visible as his knuckles tightened and a vein throbbed in his forehead, "and if you know what's good for you, you'll stay the fuck out of my life."

He'd driven off without looking back, knowing full well he'd shocked her into silence and if he were to be honest with himself, that outburst had eased some of the knots in his stomach. Dealing with Hoisuke's anxiety after witnessing yet another argument though, that was something else.

"Daddy, I don't understand why you and Mama fight so much," Hoisuke finally finds his voice when they stop inside the school gtounds. His small chubby hand, fitting into Iwaizumi's large one, cling to him with more force than necessary as they make their way to his respective class.

"Your mama and I...have different opinions on things," Iwaizumi tries to explain, suddenly guilty that his son has to pick up all the broken pieces. Impulsively, he ruffles Hoisuke's locks, "don't worry."

And that's when his son stops in mid-walk, looks him dead in the eye, and tells him, "Mama doesn't like miss Y/N, does she?"

It's a different kind of slap, but he shouldn't have understimated the little five year old. Children know much more than they let on snd here's the proof of it.

Iwaizumi allows both his hands to clasp Hoisuke's shoulders and bends down until they are face to face, "hey," dark mocha meets lighter caramel tinged with a fear of a child desperate for a family that all his friends can take for granted, "that doesn't matter. Do you like miss Y/N?"

Hoisuke nods, eyes wet.

Iwaizumi's heart swells and he swears he doesn't ever want to see that expression on his son's face, not if he can help it.

"Then it doesn’t matter what your Mom tells you," he squeezes the child's shoulder for good measure, "no one can boss you around and tell you that you're not allowed to like who you like," he brushes a few hairs off Hoisuke's forehead, "not me, not even your mom. Got that?"

“Will we be able to invite miss Y/N again?” Hoisuke asks with a trembling bottom lip. 

“If you want to.” 

“Do you want to, daddy?” 

That question takes him by surprise, the familiar guilt lurching through his stomach as he tries to comb through an excuse to hide his growing feelings. 

Except, why does he have to hide in the first place? 

It takes a moment, before Iwaizumi nods, “yeah,” he murmurs gently with the softest of smiles, “I want to.” 

Hoisuke nods once more, which is shortly followed by lurching into Iwaizumi's arms as a sob echoes from his throat. His father holds him close, glad that the earlier tension from Hoisuke's has dissipated into relief for now.

What he doesn’t know though, is that you stand just a few feet away, body tucked into the corner of the wall and holding up your racing heart against your chest. 

------

The more you spend more time with the Iwaizumis, the more your heart gets invested in the coaxing warmth that makes up their family. You try to dismiss what you've overheard back in the school corridor but it's an itch you can't quite erase now that you've been exposed to Iwaizumi's feelings, which does nothing to stop the way your heart skips a beat whenever his gaze lingers upon yours for too long.

And you've taken notice. Or you think you do. Of how he sounds more gentle whenever he talks to you, how whenever you play hands they drift towards each other for a few extra seconds that causes your skin to tingle with warmth. How it is so goddamn easy to fall into this familiar routine of playing families with Hoisuke around like a human sunshine.

But there's still one thing nagging you. Which is why you corner him once you have tucked Hoisuke into bed on Saturday night, seeking him out on the small terrace tucked beside his kitchen that overlooks the glowing city lights.

"Can I ask you something?"

His gaze flits to yours. He nods.

Swallowing back the sudden knot of anxiety in your throat, your question comes out more like a soft proposition rather than a demand fot answers.

"I know it's none of my business, but-- I overheard you and Hoisuke a few days ago in the school corridor," your words are rushed and quick as you fold your arms over your chest, "did you and Mizune have a fight...about me?"

Iwaizumi shifts in your peripheral to face you, but your eyes adamantly find purchase onto the cement ledge splattered with dirt. For a split second, you wonder whether it wouldn't have been better to keep your mouth shut.

"What did you hear?" He asks quietly.

With a slow breath, you tell him what you've heard, underlining that this whole encounter was an accident.

"And from the way she acted when she saw me...well, it's not hard to put two and two together," you finish off in a mumble, then quickly adding, "look I--I don't want to come in-between you and your family. I just don't want Hoisuke to get hurt."

Surprise flits through his features. He regards you for a long moment, long enough that you feel like squirming underneath his gaze.

Then, taking you by surprise, he chuckles softly and shifts his elbows onto the edge of the terrace, "No wonder he likes you."

You blink at him. It suddenly feels a little too warm.

"None of this is your fault, Y/N," you wonder since when have the formalities dropped from Miss Y/N to just Y/N and decide that you like the way your name rolls off his tongue, "Mizune gets jealous over stupid shit and if she can't see someone else making her son happy then that's not our problem."

Your teeth unconsciously find purchase onto your lower lip, which he notices. That doesn't stop him from reaching over to press his thumb against your lower lip, "don't."

You freeze at the touch. His thumb is warm against your mouth, calloused and sending a series of tingles down your spine.

He must realize the intimacy of his touch, for he drops his hand away and mutters, "he's...livelier. when you're around. Happier, even. I've never seen him like that with his Mama."

"What about you?"

You feel like slapping yourself. The audacity coming out of your mouth surprises you and you swear your cheeks burst into flames.

Iwaizumi looks at you almost at the same time your pupils focus on his, causing your breath to hitch.

Why the hell can't you just keep your mouth shut?

Iwaizumi's voice is merely a murmur when he speaks next, deep and laced with a roughness.

"What about me?"

Your brain seems to turn to mush, "do you like having me around?" You hope you don't sound too pathetic.

Your heart almost stops at his next set of words.

"I do."

And there's that smile, barely there but enough that your own lips stretch to mirror his action. Until you realize you are smiling at him like a fool and quickly look away like you've just been burnt.

Something shifts in the air between you, spurred on by the way your eyes keep searching each other's with a growing tension that makes your skin rattle. Iwaizumi's frown is present, yet not unpleasant and you're not quite sure who moves, just that he's suddenly a little closer. Close enough you get a whiff of the citrus smell you've come to recognize as his own.

"Miss Y/N?"

Hoisuke's voice suddenly snaps you out of your daze. Quickly whipping around to see the said boy rubbing his eyes, a hand unconscioudly scratching his tummy, your entire countenance softens as he blinks up at you sleepily.

"I can't sleep," he mumbles out with sleep still in his eyes, "can you come back to bed with me?"

"Yeah sure," you're already on your way over to him, scooping the child up in your arms. He takes this chance to bury his face into the crook of your neck, sighing contently.

You turn back to his father, a dark silhouette against the bright landscape, "I'll be right back."

But Hoisuke surprises you by saying, "you too, Daddy."

Iwaizumi stills, "what?"

"Come to bed too, Daddy."

For one single moment, it's like time stops. You can't see Iwaizumi's face but a moment later he straightens and walks over, nodding at you when he's close enough. You don't realize your heart is besting like a hummingbird until you hear it throbbing through your chest as you try squeezing into Hoisuke's bed, you in the corner and his father barely hanging onto the edge, Hoisuke squished in-between.

It's like an instinct for the boy to latch onto your shirt. He turns to burrow himself into the curve you've made with your body, facing Iwaizumi who is half-sitting, half-lying down in an angle that surely isn't comfortable.

So you decide to point it out to him, patting the bed for good measure in hopes that he doesn't notice the warm flush of your neck.

"It's okay," your whisper tickles Hoisuke's hair, "it's only until he falls asleep."

He hesitates, before you see his head nod and he slides his body a little closer, chest curving into Hoisuke's back and close enough for you to get bathed in his warmth.

He smells good. He looks good. God. Why does he look so damn good?

Stop! You squeeze your eyes shut aa if that might help your racing thoughts, and you are so caught up in your own head that you almost miss the gentle brush of Iwaizumi's fingers against your shoulder.

You tense up right before realizing that his action is intentional. Your shoulders slowly relax, a shaky exhale escaping your lips as he takes the chance to linger over your arm a little longer, before falling away onto the mattress.

You fall asleep that night listening to not just Hoisuke's, but Iwaizumi's heartbeat. 

----

Taglist: @multi-fandom-fanfic, @168-cm-png, @bakugouswh0r3, @yatoatyourservice, @ayocee, @marvel-ing-at-it-all, @astrolcve, @lilith412426, @elianetsantana, @schleepyflocci, @oohlalie , @kaashikoi , @tendo-sxtori , @iwaroses , @its-the-aerieljeane , @lalalemon101 , @lanaxians-2 , @dora-the-grownup , @sharin-gone , @nekomavsnohebi , @crayonwriting , @imafan , @random-fandom-girl-24 , @bucinhajime , @izumikunmy , @iwaoioioi​ , @evesmores​ , @meri-soni-meri-tamanna​ , @paintedstarres​ , @okadaxo , @michaki , @archiepudding​ , @ysatrap​ , @cringe-freak​ , @thatprettybunny​ 

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which you and harry meet again after six months.

a/n: hiiii! this is for @theharriediaries fic challenge! the photo used is the one on the left of the banner, and the dialogue i chose was ‘Is this seat taken?’ ‘By you, I hope.’ & ‘I’m sorry it took us this long.’ thank you for creating this challenge, soph!

thank you @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, mwah! <3

WORD COUNT: 12k of dad!harry with slight angst and fluff (pls appreciate the dilfrry dialogues in this lmao)

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘THE TRAIN RIDE BACK TO US’ I’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

The gold bell chimed quite loudly, informing the baristas that someone had entered their shop. The aroma of fresh ground coffee beans immediately filled your senses once you pushed open the sage green door as the smell feeling of nostalgia and comforted you. 

Everything looked the same in the coffee shop. The oak wood floor never changed with coffee stains in certain areas that didn’t quite seem to come off all the way, no matter how hard the employees scrubbed—but it gave the shop character, in your opinion. Different colored potted plants filled the shop in every corner and on the clean white windowsill, making the place look lively. Crisp oxygen mixed with Columbian coffee beans flowed around the shop, making customers want to come back to a comfortable environment. Black and white bistro tables sat within the café, with silver metal bases, holding the circular table tops up as they alternated with colors along the built-in brown bench against the light-gray colored wall; with matching black and white metal chairs that practically screeched against the oak wood floors when someone was trying to scoot in or out of the table. 

The entire shop was the exact same from what you remembered it to be six months ago. The only difference was that when you sat on the wooden bench, specifically at the black table in the corner that was right next to the window, the person who was supposed to be in front of you wouldn’t be there; and for that, your heart dropped a little. 

Trying not to think too much about your change of mood, you ordered your usual—an iced mocha latte with a pump of sweet vanilla syrup—before you paid and turned around to see which tables were available. The usual corner table was staring right at you, practically mocking you, and you wished that the table was occupied, but then you would’ve felt wrong sitting at a different table when yours was clearly open. 

You took your seat on the bench, and almost immediately, you started shaking your leg underneath the table. Your seat felt hot, as if the wood was catching fire underneath you, burning your legs and making you antsy. 

Luckily, the shop wasn’t crowded so it took the baristas less than six minutes to make your drink and to call out your name from behind the counter. Quickly, standing up from the burning hot seat, you made your way to the counter, thanking Mel for the drink. Since coming here, you had become quite a constant in the cute Portland coffee shop. Mel was one of the employees that had worked at the shop the longest, so she made everyone’s drinks because she knew the menu the best. So, you caught up with her a bit, and inevitably, she asked where you had been. 

“You didn’t find a better coffee shop did you?” She teased, making you chuckle. 

“No, I’ve just been, uh, too busy to come around. But I promise, your drinks and shop are still the best,” you said truthfully, to which she beamed. To this day, you hadn’t found a superior coffee shop than ‘Coava’ because the others just didn’t compare—they didn’t make you feel the same way you did with this one. “But thanks for the coffee.” You gave her one last smile before you turned around to make your way back to your table. 

And then the bell chimed. 

It was as if the sun was peeking out through the clouds; the sun beams strongly pointed down onto the wet pavement after a night of rain, leaving the air with its pleasant smell of petrichor. He was the light that seeped through the curtains, and you knew it was going to be a lovely day. 

“Harry…” you stopped in your tracks, careful not to spill the contents of your coffee cup. Your heart skipped several beats once he flashed you his gorgeous smile that you were still hopelessly in love with. 

“Hi, Y/N.” Harry mindlessly played with the buttons of his coat as he mentally tried to situate the nerves in his head and stomach. His breath felt like it was stuck in his throat, making his voice slightly trail off with a crack to the tone. 

It felt like the two of you were the only ones in the coffee shop—minus the locals who were sitting at the tables, minding their own business, or wondering what the fuck they were doing standing in the middle of the shop—completely and fully captured by the other’s stare and presence. 

The loud screeching noise of steam took you out of your dazy trance as you cleared your throat. Harry looked down at his feet before looking up at you through his lashes, shyly intertwining his hands behind his back. 

“Uh, would you like to join me?” 

Harry raised his brows at your proposal, pursing his lips to contain his giddy excitement. “S-Sure.” You took a deep breath before you started to walk towards the table in the corner—one he was also very familiar with. “This seat...Is this seat taken?” He asked politely but, almost instantly, mentally cursed himself because you wouldn’t have invited him if you were with someone. 

You didn’t catch his slip up, instead, you smiled as your face grew warm. “By you, I hope.” Harry blushed, taking a seat on the black metal chair across from you. 

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a while since I last saw you,” you mentioned. 

It’d been six months since the last time you saw and sat in front of Harry—a very long six months. The conversation six months ago wasn’t the most happiest of memories because that  conversation brought in the heartache and heartbreak; the chat had included the mutual separation of your relationship that involved tears, chest pain, and as always, the smell of Colombian coffee that surrounded your afflictive conversation, hoping it would calm the tension between you two. 

“Yeah, it has been a while, but I’m doing okay. How are you?” 

“I’m good.” There was a bit of awkwardness swirling in the air, and you absolutely despised it—you wanted it to leave the shop and never return. You had always imagined what it would be like bumping into Harry again, more importantly, what you would say to him. And despite all those moments daydreaming of finding the right words, you were completely stuck, and you fully blamed it on the awkward tension. “Can we not be…y’know, awkward? That’s not us,” you simply said. 

Harry let out a sigh of relief, adding a breathy laugh. “Yes, yes, of course. You’re right, that isn’t us at all.” Mel brought him an iced black coffee since it was his usual, and she saw that he didn’t get the chance to order because he was immediately occupied by the sight of you. He softly thanked her with a smile, only taking his attention off of you for a split second before his eyes were right back on you; he didn’t know what this conversation would lead to, nor did he want to get his hopes up, so that meant spending every moment with his complete attention and eyes averted to you. “I miss you…” he said. 

There was a sense of relief as you exhaled deeply, glad that he wasn’t the only one who was missing the other. His words had brought a flutter of butterflies to your stomach, soaring as they pleased while your face felt warm. 

You and Harry had been together for a year and a half before calling it quits. For most of the relationship, it was happiness and bliss—occasional fights, but they weren’t frequent—towards the last few months however, things were getting a bit stressful. You remembered the days like it was yesterday as the vivid memory crept inside of your head...

It was nearing nine in the evening and the house was quiet. The silence was louder than the ongoing noise inside your head that was constantly yelling at you, making your head ache from the incessant thoughts. It was safe to say that you weren’t happy, and that even Harry wasn’t happy either. But you had only gotten a glimpse of him during the evening, so you were simply assuming that he wasn’t content—but it was a very logical assumption since every time he looked at you, it seemed like he was becoming more stressed out by the minute; as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate during the day, and by night, he would still have to deal with whatever argument and fight either of you would pick for no apparent reason. 

It started with petty little arguments, getting annoyed and frustrated at the other because of burnt toast or something as small as running out of detergent for the laundry. But fighting over nothing had turned into completely confessing that you weren’t happy anymore, and that the exhaustion had gotten to you. 

“I-I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Harry,” you said in between your sobs that you tried to contain. “All we’re doing is hurting each other—we’re not even happy together anymore!” 

It felt like his heart was exploding, but it was the truth. “Darling…” 

“You can’t lie and tell me that we’re happy together because it’s obvious that we’re not.” You wiped the tears from your face, leaving your skin damp from the moisture. 

Harry sighed deeply, knowing he couldn’t argue anymore. He felt defeated and upset with himself; it was like he was doing well in everything else or at least trying, and he couldn’t even do his part in being a good boyfriend to you. He knew part of the reason why both of you weren’t happy was because of the neglectance, and both of you were too exhausted to even communicate that feeling. You two were both independent entrepreneurs—always knowing when to close business and how to make a well deserved investment or sale with others who were trying to buy whatever stock or product. But when it came down to each other, to Y/N and Harry, it seemed like the individuals that were trying to please and charm others had dissipated, leaving no room or patience for each other. 

“We’re both busy, Harry, I get that. And maybe it’s best if we call it quits until everything settles down—until we both know what we want—”

“I want you,” he interrupted. 

You softly huffed, looking down at your lap as you slightly nodded before you looked up at him again. He had tears streaming down his face and more forming in his eyes; you loved that he wasn’t embarrassed or afraid to show his true emotions—he was being vulnerable every time he let his guard down, and for that, you would appreciate him forever. 

Muffled, static cracks followed by quiet little groans were heard from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Harry glanced at it before looking back at you, knowing he had to take care of his number one priority, and who were you to stop him? So, you nodded, tilting your head towards the room, and he sadly smiled before heading towards the nursery. 

You walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote ‘Meet me at Coava tomorrow. Usual time.’ before you placed it on the coffee table beside the monitor. As you were leaving, you heard soft humming coming from the baby monitor, and your heart squeezed, frowning as this was most likely going to be the last time you were going to be in this house. Taking one look around, you took in all of the memories that you made in the building that made you feel safe and warm before you stepped out, immediately welcomed by the cool temperatures of the evening. 

The next afternoon when you walked into Coava, Harry was already sitting at the usual table you two sat at. His head was down, mindlessly wiping down the condensation that formed outside of his glass. You took a seat in front of him without saying a word, making him look up. He had dark circles around eyes as he hadn’t gotten much sleep. 

“Hi,” you whispered. There was your usual cup of iced coffee placed in front of you. “Thank you for the coffee.” 

He nodded and smiled softly, despite his current mood. “Hello.” 

You took a deep breath. “So…where do we go from here?” 

Harry sadly looked at you with desperation in his eyes that spoke, no, begged you to tell him to stay, to tell him that you two could and would work this out. But it seemed like you hadn’t received that specific message from his green and sorrowful eyes. 

“You were right…We haven’t been able to make time for one another. So, we’ll just…take some time apart.” His heart and voice cracked at the end of his sentence, finding it hard to even form a sentence that didn’t absolutely break him. You nodded, agreeing, but it didn’t hurt any less; you knew this would be best for the two of you because both of you had to focus on yourselves, especially when Harry had his priorities, such as his family, which you weren’t going to make him change whatsoever. “Okay…so, we’re over.” He hadn’t said it as a question but rather a way to see that realization. 

You reached across the table, placing your hand on his, and you were lucky that he didn’t pull away. “Harry, this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I…will always love you.” 

“And I’ll always love you too,” he said honestly. 

Behind the civil and mature conversation that occurred, there was sadness and heartbreak. There were no more smiles or laughs, no more love and affection, or anymore meet-ups during lunch or coffee dates during breaks. The painful look on Harry’s face had only pained you even more, but you both knew this split-up and time apart was for the best. 

That was six months ago. 

Now, as you sat across Harry, you felt an overwhelming rush of relief and joy; he just looked happier and you saw a familiar glint in his eyes as he looked at you. It may not be the same sparkle of love as it once was, which you were afraid it wasn’t, but there was still some kind of sparkle—the kind someone would give when they reunite with an old friend. 

“The kids miss you—they miss you a lot.” 

Your eyes look at him fondly at the mention of his children. “Really?” 

“Yeah, they do. They said, and I quote, they miss their ‘pretty fairy second mom,’” Harry said quite proudly. 

Harry had three kids that you absolutely adored. There was Mira and Estelle, seven-year-old twins that looked like their father. Mira was very energetic and talkative—that little girl could talk for hours on end without missing a beat; Estelle was more quiet and reserved, but once you started hanging around, she opened up and was quite fun to have a laugh with. Then there was the sweet little two-year-old boy, Rory, who resembled his mother. He was always babbling and giggling, so happy and free. 

If Harry was being honest, Rory was a complete accident. Him and his ex had separated and broken up when the twins were four, but they were still seeing each other. Those occasional hangouts led to another child, which they both thought would help them bond, but six months into the pregnancy, they both knew it wasn’t right anymore—not like before. So, they stuck to coparenting and, if they were speaking the truth, it was much better than being together. 

When Rory was six months old, that was when Harry met you. On an unexpected literal run in the park when you and Harry were on your daily runs, the trail was only narrow and small enough for one person to run. So, when you and Harry were running towards each other, you braced yourself for the awkwardness you were about to face with the man. Harry politely smiled, moving to his left, only for you to move to your right, which made you both giggle. The two of you then moved to the opposite side, only to clash again. The thought was quite hilarious to the two of you, so you both started laughing, clutching your stomachs. Once you two calmed down, Harry then said that he was going to his left, so you moved to your left, running the opposite directions from each other. 

At the end of the trail and on your way to the parking lot, you saw Harry finish the same trail but exit from the other side. And if it said anything more, you parked right next to his car as well. Harry smiled, dimples flashing and asked you how your run was, which then led to a bit of small talk. In the six minutes you two were talking, Harry made the impulsive decision to ask you if you would like some coffee. He wouldn’t have asked if it were anyone else, and until that moment he didn’t even know  if he was ready to date again. But he took the chance and decided to ask you, and luckily, you said yes. 

The rest was history. 

“I miss them so much too.” You smiled softly, thinking about the kids that you had thought of as your own. 

“I, uh, I know it’s too much to ask, but I figured I should ask either way…Would you like to see them? Mira would never live it down if I told them that I saw you and didn’t ask if you wanted to see them.” He added a chuckle at the end, nerves creeping up his skin. 

Your eyes lit up. “Really? You’d let me see them?” 

Harry raised his brows. “Yeah, of course! You could see them anytime you want, if you’d like. Just because we’re not, y’know, together doesn’t mean that you can’t see them. I know how much you love them and how much they love you too,” he reassured. 

“Would Laurie be okay with that?” You asked about his ex and the mother of said children. 

He nodded. “Yeah, she would. I mean, she also knows how much they love you.” Harry was lucky that the mother of his children and his ex was so kind and chill with having someone that Harry loved be ‘another mother’ to her children; all Laurie really asked of you was to not try and replace her role as their mom and to always keep them safe when she wasn’t around, and who were you to disrespect her wishes? 

“Harry, I would love to, thank you. I really do miss them.” You felt yourself getting a bit emotional because of how much you missed the kids, and it’d felt like an eternity since you last saw them. 

“Great! Tomorrow is the weekend, so are you free to go to the park and maybe get some ice cream after?” 

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” You smiled, not too widely as you tried to contain your excitement. 

Harry smiled back at you before quickly looking at his phone to check the time. “I gotta get back. But I’ll see you tomorrow and will text you the details tonight.” 

“Okay, see you soon.” You stood up to hug him, and his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. His stomach was doing flips as he felt your breath against the crook of his neck. He didn’t want the moment to end, and it was the most physical contact that you two had in six months. 

Pulling away, he offered you a smile before bidding you goodbye, and you finally let out the breath you had been holding the moment the bell chimed and the man you still loved walked in. 

A soft blush was planted on Harry’s cheeks for the entire day. He was driving from work to Laurie’s house to pick up his beloved children as he thought about how his day turned out to be. 

In all honesty, he hadn’t expected to see you in the coffee shop that you two had gone to throughout the entirety of your relationship. He had just gotten out of a meeting and was debating on going to Coava because he hadn’t been there since the day you two called it quits, but he figured it was time and thought that maybe reminiscing on the memories you two had with each other wasn’t a bad thing. So, he walked into that shop thinking he was just going to get a coffee to-go, but he had gone in there and left with something so much better. 

The moment his eyes landed on yours his mind had screamed and reassured him that he wasn’t just dreaming that you were standing right in front of him, he felt his stomach drop in the best way. The heat had rushed to his cheeks, tugging on the corners of his lips, urging his mouth to smile, and he did not hold back his joy when he saw you. You were beautiful, just like he remembered, but he had no doubt that there wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t not absolutely stunning. 

And the giddy feeling he felt when he asked you if you’d like to see the kids made his heart tumble inside of his chest as he couldn’t wait for you and the kids to finally see each other again. 

Harry pulled into Laurie’s driveway, and he quickly got out and knocked on the door, waiting for Laurie to answer. He chuckled as he could practically hear the twins screaming from across the house to make sure they had everything they needed. When the door opened, he was met by his ex that he once loved, and still had some platonic love for her, naturally, as the mother of his children. 

“Hey, Harry! They’re just getting their stuff ready,” she greeted with a smile, opening the door wider as she walked away from the entrance and let him in. She grabbed Rory from the couch, who was mindlessly playing with a giant puzzle piece, and gave him many kisses to his cheeks before saying goodbye to her son and handing him off to Harry. 

Rory’s eyes lightened up at the sight of his father. “Dada!”

“Hi, my sweet boy. I’ve missed you.” He placed soft kisses to his chubby and squeezable cheeks. 

“Girls, dad’s waiting!” Laurie called out from the bottom of the stairway before turning back towards Harry. “Why do you look like that?” She gave him a knowing look. 

“Like what?” Harry asked, acting like he didn’t know what she was talking about. The blush really gave him away, he thought. 

“You’re just…extra happy today.” 

“Can’t I be happy, Laurie? To see my kids?” He teased, smirking as he hugged Rory to his chest. 

“I mean, sure, but…did something happen today?” 

His smile widened, and it was like he couldn’t contain the exciting feeling anymore and he just had to tell someone. “I saw Y/N today.” 

Her brows raised. “Really? How is she?” 

“She’s doing well, yeah. We talked for a little bit.” Was all that he told her. 

“And I’m assuming it went well.” He nodded, not wanting to tell her more. “Well, that’s great, Harry. She was, is, a lovely woman and she took care of the kids, so that’s all that matters to me,” Laurie said genuinely; she wasn’t jealous, if she was being honest. All that mattered to her was that her kids were in good hands. 

Suddenly more footsteps were coming down the stairs. “Dad!” The twins yelled at the same time. He put Rory down for a moment before he bent down to hug his two girls. 

“Hi, my loves. How are you?” He kissed both of their cheeks, making their small arms hug him tighter. 

“Dad, I scored one hundred percent on all my spelling tests, so I’m qualified for the spelling bee!” Mira explained excitedly once she let go of Harry. 

“Really?! That’s amazing, bug. This week, I’ll help you study for it.” Mira beamed at that before walking over to her mom to say bye. 

“How are you, my sunshine?” He directly asked Estelle, knowing that she was specifically waiting for Harry to have his attention on only her. Even though she’d never told him that, he could tell that sometimes Estelle lets Mira have her moment and wanted to speak with Harry when no one else was paying attention. 

“I’m good. My teacher told me I could become a math…mathmat—daddy, what are they called?” She looked at Harry for help. 

“Look at you, sunshine! I’m so proud of you my little mathematician.” Estelle’s eyes widened. “Is that you meant mathematician, sweetheart?” He smiled. 

“Yes, that! I did good on my math test and even baked cookies for you!” Before Harry could say anything, Estelle ran off to the kitchen to grab the plate of cookies she baked last night. 

“Alright, babies, let’s go. Say bye to mommy.” The kids said their goodbyes before Harry safely buckled them into their car seats and drove home for a week at their father’s. 

When all four of them reached the front door, Harry told the twins to put their belongings away and wash up for dinner. He set Rory down in his high chair before cutting up some bananas in halves, and placing them on the plastic table in front of him for his pre-dinner snack. Knowing that his kids liked home cooked meals better than takeout, fortunately, he set out the ingredients to make some fried rice, which was quick and easy. 

The twins rushed down the stairs once Harry put the leftover rice into the pan filled with sautéed veggies, and they settled onto the couch in front of the TV, waiting for dinner.

“Loves, set the table for me, please!” He called out from the kitchen as he transferred the rice from the pan to a large bowl, topping it with green onions. The girls each had a task for setting the table; Mira was in charge of forks and spoons, and Estelle handled the plates since she was less clums. He rolled Rory’s high chair over to the table, which he was so lucky to have gotten a high chair with wheels because it was so much easier to move him without carrying him and the chair; and he gave everyone an equal scoop, depending on how much they ate, and if they wanted seconds, he would be glad to serve them more. 

As they ate, Harry was occasionally helping Rory eat the rice, just picking up the contents that didn’t make it into his mouth, as Estelle and Mira both took turns talking. Harry loved family dinner, he tried his very best to give all three of his children the attention that they deserved, but dinner was the one time they bonded the most because no one felt competitive or had the urge to start an argument when there was food in front of them. 

“Daddy, how was your day?” Estelle asked curiously, and Harry smiled at his sunshine, as if she was the sun itself, heart swooning. 

“It was great, thanks for asking, my love.” He placed his spoon on his plate. “I actually wanted to talk to you all about something.” The twins didn’t respond, just stared at him, encouraging him to continue. “Do you remember Y/N?” Just at the sound of your name, the crowd went absolutely wild. 

“Y/N, yes!” Screamed Estelle, which was rare for her to raise her voice. 

“Pretty, fairy second mom, of course we remember her, dad!” Mira exclaimed obviously. 

“Fairy!” Rory had repeated the only word he could make out from Mira’s mouth as he fussed because of the volume that had increased from his sisters. 

Harry laughed. “Alright, okay, settle down. Well, I saw her today.” The twins gasped, making him chuckle. It genuinely felt like he was on a talk show with a live audience. “And I wanted to ask you all if you wanted to see her tomorrow? Figured we could go to the park and get some ice cream together?” He asked hesitantly, even though he knew they’d say yes, and he’d get another chance to see you again. 

“Yes!” The girls both answered. 

Harry beamed, turning to Rory. “Bubba, remember Y/N? Your slide friend? Remember you used to go on the slide with Y/N?” Rory giggled, a sound that was Harry’s weakness, and nodded. “Do you wanna see her tomorrow?” 

“Slide with fairy?” Rory asked, and Harry laughed. 

“Yes, slide with fairy,” he confirmed, and Rory nodded his head eagerly. 

Harry smiled, glad his kids were with the plans tomorrow. The rest of the dinner was filled with the twins talking about you; they talked about what you all could do together at the park and what they wanted to show you, and Harry would be lucky if they slept through the entire night without continuously waking up because of their excitement for the upcoming afternoon. 

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, the twins washed and cleaned, Harry give Rory a bath, and everyone was ready for bed, Harry said good night to his babies, spending about five minutes cuddling and talking them to sleep until they fluttered their eyes closed and off to slumber. 

Sighing, Harry closed his door, leaving the baby monitor from Rory’s room on his bedside table before he was able to unwind for the day. He always spent an extra amount of time on his skin care routine, figuring that he sometimes didn’t have time for himself and the only time he had was during nights. 

When he was ready for bed, he felt a huge amount of relief to be getting into bed after a long but grateful day, and he picked up his phone and clicked on your message thread. The last time you two texted was a few weeks after the breakup, asking if you were doing okay, and he could practically feel the awkward tension through the texts as he reread them. But he was glad that this time would be a much lighter and better conversation. 

Hi, Y/N. Hope this is the right number still. But if it is, kids are on board for tomorrow. Does 12:30 work for you? We could meet at the usual park. If it’s not Y/N, please don’t meet at the usual park because the kids are not on board. 

You chuckled at the end of his text, happy to see that Harry is always trying to make jokes and be the comedian. 

Hi, Harry! Don’t worry, this is Y/N. Probably would have hunted the person with my number down to get tomorrow’s plans. But that sounds perfect! I can't wait to see the kids tomorrow. See you then! 

Harry softly smiled at his phone, not feeling the need to respond and figured he would talk to you a lot more tomorrow while the kids are playing. He stared at the message for quite some time, completely blank as he couldn’t believe the chances that he happened to see you at the shop six months after the breakup, and now he’s making plans with you tomorrow; his jaw was aching from smiling so much. 

A few minutes later, he put his phone away to change before he comfortably situated himself under the blanket, feeling the heaviness of his eyes. But once he felt himself starting to drift away into dreamland, his phone buzzed on his nightstand, and he tried his best to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of him, so he picked up his phone and opened the new message. 

And I can’t wait to see you tomorrow too.  

And just like that, Harry was wide awake, struggling to sleep, but a smile permanently etched on his face for the night. 

The day that everyone in the Styles’ household had been waiting for had finally arrived. Luckily, the kids had gotten their needed hours of sleep; Harry had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but when the sun seeped through his curtains, he didn’t dread getting up for the day. Instead, he felt a rush of eagerness, instantly remembering what the day held for him and his kids, and he jumped right out of bed. 

Once the four of them were out of the house, Harry had successfully fed, cleaned, and changed his children with no complaints. The house and car ride was filled with conversations about how excited they were to see you again, asking how many more hours there was until they got to see you and if they were almost at the park. 

Screams bounced off the roof of the car once Harry parked on the side of the curb; the twins had already taken their seatbelts off, getting antsy as they waited for their dad to open the car from the outside. Harry unbuckled Rory, carrying him until he rounded on the other side of the car to open the door for the twins. They quickly jumped out, clearly excited, but Harry did not forget to remind them that this was still a public area and anything could happen. 

“Girls, slow down, please.” Estelle was holding Harry’s hand as Mira was holding her sister’s; Harry was still carrying Rory in his arms because his sister’s were practically lugging Harry with all their might, trying to get to their usual spot, so he didn’t want Rory to get hurt. “Loves, you know Y/N would tell you the exact same thing. Please, just slow down for me.” He pulled the Y/N card on them, knowing that they were better listeners with you than they are with him. 

Once they were all close enough, they spotted a thick beige blanket under the tree with a picnic basket, and you sitting on top of it, setting everything up. 

“Y/N!” The girls both screamed, Estelle letting go of Harry’s hand as they both ran towards you. 

You looked up at the sound of your name, eyes brightening at the little girls running. “My Princesses! Hi, my loves!” You opened your arms widely, inviting the twins into your arms— they practically collided into your arms, making you fall onto your back since you didn’t get the chance to stand up—and embracing them with a big hug. Laughs came out of all of your mouths as wide smiles permanently stayed on your faces. “Oh, I missed you two so much!” You kissed both of their cheeks, making them giggle. You stood up, helping the girls up and brushed their clothes off with your hand from the grass. Harry and Rory were in sight, and Harry put the little boy down, making Rory run towards you. “My sweetheart, oh, you’ve gotten so big.” You hugged Rory to your chest, placing your hand behind his head as your other arm wrapped around his small body. 

You were glad that Rory still had some memory of you, and didn’t shy away behind his father’s leg. You placed soft kisses on his cheeks, taking in his baby scent that you always loved. 

After Rory was starting to fuss in your arms, most likely due to feeling overwhelmed from the lack of space, you let go of him before standing up. 

“Hi, Y/N,” Harry greeted, offering a hug, which you gladly took. 

You rubbed his back. “Hi, Harry. I’m so glad I’m here with you all.” You pulled away, smiling at him. Harry’s heart pounded against his chest at the sight of you smiling up at him. His heart did a backflip at the sight of your gorgeous smile, trickling all the way down to his stomach where it triggered the butterflies to release from the net. 

“Please, we were all really excited to see you. So, thank you for agreeing.” His hand innocently ran down your arm, sending shivers down your spine. 

You turned around to look at the kids who were making themselves comfortable on the blanket. You and Harry joined them as you sat in between Estelle and Rory, and Harry sat in between Mira and Rory. 

“Okay, so I made some sandwiches. You all still like grilled cheese, right?” You hoped, and the twins nodded; you turned towards Rory. “What about you, sweet pea? Grilled cheese?” At the sound of cheese, Rory nodded his head and clapped his hands, making you smile. 

Harry was so lost in his mind and heart that he was simply so distracted in helping you out as you unwrapped the sandwiches from the foil, putting them on a paper plate. He was just so fond of watching you interact with his children so naturally, like there was no time that was wasted when you and Harry were apart. And he was especially happy that the kids still loved you just as much as they did when you two were together; and how they still kept talking about you despite the breakup. 

Aside from you and Harry, the kids had taken the breakup the hardest. From the knowledge they had based on what Harry and Laurie told them, they understood that their mommy and daddy couldn’t be together anymore due to adult reasons; it took them a while to adjust to that, but they eventually managed and figured it was better and more fun. But when Harry had to break the news on why they wouldn’t be seeing their ‘Pretty Fairy Second Mom’ anymore, they took it harder than expected. They simply looked at it as you didn’t want to see them anymore, which wasn’t the case at all, Harry explained. 

“Sometimes adults need to take some time apart, loves. That does not mean that Y/N doesn’t love you anymore because she does very much, I can tell you that. But it's good to have some time to yourself, especially in a relationship.” 

“But daddy, I thought you were gonna be together forever with Y/N,” Estelle spoke up, tears in her eyes. He was lucky that his kids loved you so much, and he never doubted that they weren’t going to. But his fear had come true when you two called it quits and he had to tell them the truth. 

“And maybe we will, but as for right now, it’s best to be apart. Sometimes being apart saves the relationship rather than letting it burn,” he told them honestly, which was the best as he could explain it. 

“D-Does Y/N still love you?” Mira asked softly. It wasn’t like Mira to be so soft spoken, which meant that the breakup had affected her deeply. 

Harry sighed, grabbing both of their small hands. “She does,” he replied for the sake of more tears coming out of their eyes—plus, he was taking your word for it back at the cafe. “And she also loves you all so much too,” he reminded them again. What he really wanted to say was that maybe one day you two will get back together, but he really didn’t want to get their hopes up. 

Looking back on his conversation from half a year ago, he was glad that he told them the truth on why you two broke up. He didn’t want to confuse his children even further, making them completely oblivious to the situation—he just wanted to be honest with them because he hoped you two would meet again and get back together at some point. 

“Harry, would you like one?” You asked, bringing Harry back out of his thoughts. He smiled, nodding, not trusting his voice to speak; and you gladly handed him a plate with a sandwich, pouring some chips onto the side—his favorite chips, you still remembered. 

“Thank you.” He smiled softly. The corners of your lips turned up as you bashfully looked at the picnic basket in front of you. You placed Rory’s plate in front of him as he seemed to have crawled to sit closer to you, and you cut out his sandwich into small pieces, along with cutting his grapes in half. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He stopped you from what you were doing, ready to take Rory from your side as he didn’t want you to feel obligated to take care of him.

“Oh, if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t mind feeding him a bit.” 

“If you want to.” 

You gave him the sweetest grin, and Harry was lucky to be sitting down because his knees would give out on him if he were standing. “I want to.” He only nodded, a crimson color laid on his cheeks. 

Harry comfortably watched as you made conversation with the twins as you fed Rory. You always gave them your undivided attention; your expression always lit up everytime they talked about something they were passionate about or interested in, and it just made Harry fall even more with how you were always so supportive in what his kids loved. You were always uplifting them, never dragging their hopes and dreams down. 

After everyone was finished with their meals and had time to digest their food, the twins asked if they could go on the swings and Harry said yes. The tree that they were under was only a few feet away, so Harry had a clear view of his girls. 

“You’re, like, a magician.” Harry suddenly said, breaking the silence once the girls were safely on the swing. 

You chuckled. “How’s that?” 

“It’s like hiring a magician at a party—everyone is so excited to see what they do and see them in general—you’re like that; the girls and Rory were so excited to see you.” 

You playfully gasped, holding Rory to your chest. “You were excited to see me? Well, I was excited to see you!” You booped his nose, making Rory giggle. 

“Fairy!” He exclaimed, and you and Harry laughed. Rory was a quiet two-year-old, but he picked up on keywords that he repeatedly said. 

“So, are you seeing anyone?” You cut to the chase, skipping the small talk.

Harry chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Nope. Not entirely sure if anyone wants to date a thirty-four-year-old with three kids.” 

You raised your brows in shock, and he knew that look you’re giving him very well—prepared to tease him; even though you weren’t that much younger than him either. “What? Do you think no one wants to date a hot dad? Harry, you’re peak-dilf, everyone wants to date you.” 

“And what about you? Do you wanna date me? A dilf?” He teased; a smirk that you knew all too well appeared on his face, making you want to kiss it off, which was what you used to do. 

Pursing your lips and cheeks heating up, you gave him an obvious look before you said, “Think you know the answer to that one, baby.” In all honesty, the pet name had slipped, and for a brief moment your eyes widened at the realization, but you brushed it off and continued with your confident and teasing attitude; and it worked quite well on Harry because he definitely heard what you used to call him loud and clear. It made his heart flutter as he missed you calling him that; he never wanted to hear that name come out of anyone else’s mouth because only yours would do it justice. 

Harry was left to ponder about your response before you changed the subject, talking to Rory. “Sweets, do you wanna go on the slide?” The little boy jumped up and down, pulling your arm as he had a big smile on his face. You looked at Harry, and he gave you a nod, telling you that he would stay put and watch your belongings. 

You and Rory walked hand in hand, or more like hand and finger, to the slide. It was an open purple slide with two sides, and it lasted about two seconds if you slid correctly and if the slide was slippery enough. You helped Rory step onto the playground as the dull metal steps were quite high for him to reach on his own before you guided him towards the slide. 

Sitting down at the top and on the edge of the slide, you carried Rory into your lap, hyping him up for what he had been waiting for. “Ready, sweets? Are you ready?” Your tone was pure excitement as you squeezed and tickled his belly. 

“Go, Y/N, go!” Directed Rory, and you scooted forward and held onto the sweet boy in your arms tightly as you two slid down the slide. Mouthfuls of squealing screams and giggles came from Rory’s mouth as he clapped his hands towards the end of the slide, causing you to cheer as well. 

And the proper dad that he was, Harry clicked the red button on the screen to stop recording you and Rory from the slide. He zoomed in, capturing the bright smiles placed on his sweet boy’s and the love of his life’s face, screenshotting the perfect frame. He didn’t think the day could have gone any better than this; it was quite the perfect day, he thought. 

When it was rounding two in the afternoon, Rory’s eyes were starting to droop, exhaustion taking over him from running around for almost an hour that his little body couldn’t keep up, so a nap was in his favor. He lazily looked up at you, reaching his arms up for you to carry him, which you happily held him. He settled his head on your shoulder, and it only took a few kisses and back rubs for him to be out like a light while the sun still shined in his face. 

You walked over to the blanket, figuring it was time to call it a day at the park; Harry and the twins were running around nearby on the bedded grass area playing tag. They retreated to the blanket once they saw you with Rory in your arms, breaths heavy from their run. 

“Oh, my sweet, sweet boy.” Harry sighed when he got to spot under the tree; you handed Rory to him, admiring the two boys cuddling as Harry pressed quiet and soft kisses to his son’s head. Since your lap was available, Estelle and Mira took the chance to finally be able to properly cuddle you since Rory was taking most of your attention. The girls took one leg each, and you wrapped your arms around their waist, kissing their shoulder. 

The five of you stayed put for a while, calming down under the breezy weather that had started to pick up until it got even colder was when Harry decided it was time to leave. Luckily the girls were still awake to help with cleaning up, and were rather helpful because Harry was trying his best with Rory situated on one side of his body. 

Once all of you were next to your cars, Harry placed Rory in his car seat as you were hugging the girls goodbye. You and Harry agreed that everyone was too tired to go out for some ice cream since all the twins wanted to do was lie down. Harry knew he didn’t want the day to end, even though it was still quite early, but the older he got, the tougher it was to keep up with his little children who just loved running around; a relaxing and peaceful night was calling him. 

“Hey.” Harry closed the passenger door before he rounded the car to meet you on the grass. “I know we talked about going for ice cream today, but it seemed like we’re all too tired, but I was wondering…” he paused for a moment, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. “Would you like to come over? Maybe…for dinner, or to have a glass or w-water?” He scratched the back of his neck, nerves getting the best of him. 

You smiled, thinking he was the absolute cutest when he was flustered. “Harry, I’d love to. Feels like I haven’t drank any water so I’m parched,” you teased. 

He breathed out a laugh. “Okay, uh, I’ll see you home.” He gave you another smile before walking away and inside of his car, completely unaware of his choice of words. 

Home. More specifically, Harry’s home. It was a place that made you feel safe, and if you’re being honest, it’s been too long since you’d had complete solace. 

Your mental pep-talk throughout the drive toward Harry’s had helped in some way. Keeping it simple without driving your mind into overthinking every single thought, you laid it all down as if you were planning and preparing a business proposal. 

You didn’t want to dive deep into what Harry’s invitation could entail—more like you didn’t want to get your hopes up on if you two were to get back together because the potential rejection you could face would absolutely crush you. Harry’s a kind and sweet guy, he’s simply inviting a friend over for a drink and dinner, if you could even call yourself that. Plus, it was still early to fully call it a day, and he planned for ice cream after the park, so he was fulfilling that promise of sweet dessert. 

Without realizing, you’d been sitting in your car for a solid five minutes, staring over your steering wheel as you were parked on the curb in front of Harry’s house. Harry’s car was already in the driveway, so they were just waiting on you. 

You walked towards the front door, and it swung open before you even got the chance to knock. 

“Hey, thought you’d change your mind when you weren’t getting out of the car,” Harry joked, although that thought really crossed his mind when he peeked out through the window and saw you still in your car. 

You chuckled nervously. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t.” You stepped inside his house, and a wave of nostalgia rushed through you as if you were at the beach and the harsh current knocked you over as you were trying to walk against the sandy wind. 

Everything still looked the same—the same since the night you left without another word to the kids, just a note to Harry telling you to meet at the shop. A pinch of guilt appeared in your face as you frowned, and Harry immediately took notice, but you waved it off as you slightly smiled, telling him that you two would talk later. He didn’t press any further, waiting until later or when you were ready. Instead, he asked if you wanted anything to drink, to which he already knew you’d go for a class of Cabernet, and luckily, he had some in stock—more like, he still had the untouched bottle for when you stayed over. 

The two of you leaned against the cold granite counter as music softly played on the speaker that was connected through Bluetooth on his phone. Conversations were light, but it wasn’t awkward in any sense. As a matter of fact, it felt just like old times when you would stay over his house, talking about each other’s day and simply enjoying the presence of one another. That’s what you think this was, you thought—enjoying the fact that Harry was in front of you after so many months and you were cherishing it until the next set of months went by. 

After a few conversations and sips of wine later, the time had gone by fairly fast, which always happened when you were with him, and it was nearing five. The kids had woken up from their nap at four and quietly settled in the living room—the twins on the couch in front of the television and Rory was on the padded mat playing with his toys, occasionally talking to his sisters. Harry asked if you would be okay watching them so he could make dinner, and you were close to reminding him that he didn’t need to ask to watch his kids, but then again, you had to remind yourself that things were a bit different now. So, you said that you didn’t mind and walked over to the sofa chair next to the couch and watched TV with the girls as well as play with Rory. 

Twenty-five minutes had gone by and Harry called everyone, announcing that dinner was ready. You all walked into the dining room, taking your seats. Your assigned seat was next to Rory’s chair, which was in between you and Harry; the girls were sitting across from you. Once everyone took several bites of Harry’s dinner--a quick fettuccine alfredo--the chatter was back. You enthusiastically listened to the girls and Rory talk; it made Harry smile, loving how natural everything felt. 

Estelle tapped Harry’s shoulder, making him turn towards her with a smile on his face. “What is it, sunshine?” She got off her chair, leaning over to whisper something into his ear and he smiled, turning back to his family who was curious as to what Estelle had said. “Go ahead and ask her, love.” 

You put down your fork and placed your arms on the table. “What’s up, Princess?” 

“Uh, c-can we go to that place?” 

“What place is that?” You asked curiously. 

“That place where you told Daddy you loved him,” she responded quite bashfully. Your mouth was slightly open, not expecting her to say what she did. Looking over at Harry, he simply had a soft smile on his face with his brows raised, shrugging his shoulders.

Did you want to go back there? The answer was a simple yes. There wasn’t any excuse that you could possibly make up on the spot as to why you couldn’t go there, and it wasn’t necessarily a bad place whenever you thought about it. In fact, you really missed going over there and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t think about that place often. 

Your head turned towards Estelle. “Sure, why not. How about we go tomorrow?” You asked everyone, and they all had smiles on their faces. You looked at Harry, directly asking him for permission. “Is that okay?” His elbow was resting against the arm of the brown chair, fingers placed under his lips as he slightly puckered his soft and pink lips; without looking under the table, you knew his legs were crossed. Harry smiled, nodding his head, and everyone cheered. 

The rest of the time everyone was sitting at the dinner table, you all talked about plans for tomorrow, and everyone was really excited. Once it was almost eight, Harry realized that it was almost their bedtime, so he hurried them up the stairs to get ready for bed before saying goodnight to you, getting in as many hugs and kisses as they could get. 

Harry was upstairs, changing Rory and putting him to bed before he walked down and found you in the kitchen washing dishes. He slipped past you, placing his hand along your lower back briefly before he grabbed the dish rag. The action sent a chill down your spine and you immediately missed his hands on you. 

“The kids seem really excited about tomorrow.” Harry broke the silence, glancing over at you as you continued to wash the dishes. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m really excited too.” 

Harry noticed the slight shortness, and he thought it may be because you were tired. “Hey, are you okay?” 

You turned off the water and faced him, crossing your arms as he did the same. 

“Do the kids hate me?” The corner of his lips turned up before he started laughing, clutching his stomach. If it were any other time, you would obsess over his laugh; it was music to your ears, the highlight of your day, and the sun when it’s bright out. You softly slapped his arm. “Harry! I’m being serious!” 

“Darling, you’re joking, right?” Your heart briefly fluttered at his nickname for you. “Those kids love you!” He noticed your change of attitude and that you’d been thinking about this for a while and beating yourself up over it. 

“It’s just…I don’t want them to think that we broke up and I forgot about them. I mean I understand if they see it that way because I left without saying another word for six months--didn’t even get to say goodbye to them and have a proper talk. I just don’t want them to hate me.” You looked down at your feet as you played with the thin silver band on your middle finger.  

Harry’s seen you in work mode, and it reeks confidence and power. You don’t need much reassurance during work unless it’s when your employees tell you that progress is moving along. But this was completely different; you needed all the reassurance that you could get to get it through your head that the kids that you’d come to love--from the moment you met them--don’t hate you. And Harry didn’t mind telling you over and over again. 

“They were just that we split up, that’s all. But they quickly understood why.” 

“What’d you tell them?” You asked curiously. 

“The truth--that sometimes it’s better to be apart for a while rather than drive ourselves crazy. Told them that when the time is right, then maybe we’ll get back together.” The look in his eyes was so comforting that you immediately fell into them. Harry was always the best with giving you that extra reassurance that you and his kids need. 

You felt the extra beat in your chest that pumped so harshly against your chest, but it was surrounded by butterflies, making it flutter throughout your body. As you looked so deeply into Harry’s beautiful green eyes, you realized one of two things; the first thing was that you never wanted to look so deeply into another person’s eyes unless it was Harry’s; and the second thing was that you were incredibly and overwhelmingly still in love with this man and his three children, and there hadn’t been a day that gone by where you weren’t. 

Taking a deep breath, itches were crawling up your skin, begging you to say something. “D-Do you think it’s time?” Your voice asked shyly. 

Harry was taken back by your question as he raised his brows. He couldn’t deny the nerves that he felt whenever he was around you, but your question seemed to have increased his nervousness. 

“We’ve been separated for what feels like a long time now.” He paused, taking a deep breath as he recouped his thoughts to say the right words. “I think-”

“Daddy?” Yours and Harry’s head whipped towards the staircase, finding Estelle at the bottom of it with groggy eyes. 

Harry walked towards his sunshine. “What is it, my love?” He kneeled down onto the bottom step, matching her height. Estelle told him that she couldn’t sleep, and that she’s been tossing and turning for a while, so Harry told her that he would lay with her until she fell asleep and carried her to her bedroom. He looked back at you as he was walking up the steps, and you gave him a soft smile, letting him know that it was completely okay. 

You finished tidying up the kitchen, wiping down the counters and cleaning the dining table until you realized that you needed to get ready for tomorrow’s adventure. 

Once Harry came down the stairs, he found you sitting on the edge of the armchair with your purse on your shoulder; you looked up as he walked up to you. 

“I’m gonna head out.” 

Harry’s slightly frowned. “Oh, you can stay the night if you want to.” 

“No, it’s okay, thanks.” You really did want to stay the night, but you didn’t have a change of clothes for tomorrow. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning.” He nodded, walking you to the door, opening it for you. 

You stepped out on his doorstep, turning around as you wrapped your arm around his waist, tiptoeing to plant a kiss to his cheek. The slightest bit of touch from your lips sent Harry’s skin on fire, warming up to the affection. The touch was sent away too quickly as you let go of him completely, giving him one last smile before walking to your car and waving at him as you drove away. 

Harry closed the door, the palm of his hand cupped the cheek that you kissed and he sighed as if he was shot with Cupid’s love-arrow, and he wouldn’t mind it if it meant he would feel your affection every single day. 

You arrived at the Styles household at ten in the morning with a tote-full of snacks and water, knowing the kids would get hungry from all the walking. You got there forty-five minutes earlier than planned, knowing that the Styles family wouldn’t be out the door right on time because Harry has three kids, two of them who bicker and complain from time to time—especially when they’re sleepy—and a two-year-old who was starting to run away from everything. So, you figured Harry would appreciate your help. 

When Harry saw you standing on his doorstep, he let out a sigh of relief. He was still in his striped pajamas pants and a white t-shirt, holding a small pair of olive green pants. You walked in and saw Rory running around half naked, despite it being early in the morning. You told Harry that he could shower and get ready for the day, and to leave it to you because you’ll handle it—plus, you both knew that the kids often listened to you more than their own dad. He smiled appreciatively, kissing your head briefly before walking up the stairs and getting ready. 

Once Rory saw you, he stopped running around the house and instead, ran towards you and into your arms. You carried him up the stairs and to his room to get some clothes on him, and luckily, Harry was able to bathe him before you showed up. You gave him his favorite toy to fumble with before you walked into Mira's room, setting Rory on her twin bed before helping her get ready. You left Rory in Mira’s room and went to Estelle’s bedroom, doing the same. 

By the time Harry walked downstairs, you and the three kids were sitting on the couch, eating a banana. He smiled, slowing his steps as he was amazed at the quietness and stillness in the house, but then again, he wasn’t that amazed because he knew you’d come in and get things in order. 

Harry’s home was a two minute walk to the train station, and everyone decided to take the train since it was what you and Harry did when you two were dating, and the kids really wanted to walk through the entire path of their father’s love story. 

Luckily, there weren’t that many people on the train—it was practically empty—so they didn’t have to rush to get a spot for the kids. Rory sat in the middle of his sisters as they all smiled brightly towards Harry’s phone that was capturing the adorable children for a sweet memory sake. You and Harry were standing, making sure neither of the kids fell over if the train made a halting stop. You held onto the metal bar above you, Harry held the bar that was mounted into the floor, and you both watched the kids interact with one another—counting on their fingers, booping one another’s noses, and laughing; it was every parent’s dream. 

Without noticing, Harry moved closer to you, placing his hand directly next to yours; the side of your hand touched his, and you looked at him with wide eyes while your heart fluttered. You were hip to hip, and you saw the smirk he had on his face while occasionally glancing over at you. You couldn’t help the heat that rose onto your cheeks because it felt like old times when you two used to ride the train together and it would get too packed to where you had to stand up; he would always face you as your hands touched—sometimes he would even intertwine your fingers together while you two held the bar as you were one—and he would hover over you, giving you plentiful kisses like the true romantic that he was. 

The train ride took about 30 minutes and it was a two minute walk to the place that gave you so many happy memories and nostalgia—International Rose Test Garden was where the memories of you and Harry were stored. 

You had the girls on either side of you, holding their hands; and Harry carried Rory since he was likely to run around and Harry didn’t want to risk his safety. 

The sun was bright—beautiful for a day in the garden as the roses and flowers bloomed ever so widely. All of you walked the rows and rows of flowers, occasionally taking pictures in front of the rose bushes.

Remembering all the times you and Harry were hand in hand, laughing until your stomachs were sore, like you did an intense ab workout, and there were tears resting in the outer corner of your eyes. All the memories that were swirling around in your head made you come to the conclusion to one thing: you never want to be without Harry and his kids ever again. 

You don’t know how it took you so long to realize this, maybe it was seeing them for the first time in six months that you realized that you had it great—a small family that accepted you and loved you for who you were, and you loved them just the same. 

Harry walked beside you, the kids skipping and playing around in the grass in front of you two. Confidently, you slipped your hand into Harry’s ringed hand, immediately intertwining your fingers together as if your hand knew what it was missing. Harry briefly looked down before looking at you. He smiled, and turned his head back towards the kids, not making a big deal of it as his warm hand accepted the coldness of yours. 

You gently tugged against his arm, pulling him back as he came face to face with you; a quiet gasp came out of his mouth when doing so. You looked up at him with bright eyes, and Harry was taken back to a year and a half ago where you, coincidentally, were in this same spot on the very green patch of grass. 

“Harry…” you breathed out, looking down at your feet nervously. He made the bold move to step closer to you, chests almost touching. Harry lifted your chin up with his fingers, locking eyes with you so intently that you practically lost your breath. 

“What is it?” He whispered. 

Taking a deep breath, you said, “I-I realized something.” 

“Yeah? What’s that?” 

Glancing over at the kids, they were giving you big smiles and thumbs up for reassurance, and your heart swooned at their support and love they provided you to finally get back together with their father, even if you weren’t their biological mother. 

You looked back at Harry, who was waiting patiently. “I love you. I still do and never stopped.” Harry felt like he stopped breathing at that moment. “You make me so happy—you and the kids, and I don’t want to be without you all anymore. I-I don’t like how it’s only taken me this much time to tell you this, but it felt like the perfect time since this was the place where I first told you I loved you.” 

Harry smiled, taking your hands into his. His thumbs smoothed your skin on the back of your hand before he brought them up to his lips and kissed them so delicately. The action made you smile softly before your mind had switched it to thinking that it was affection before the rejection. 

But then he opened his mouth to speak such beautiful words that you had been aching to hear during the breakup. 

“You’re my everything. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you because you. You’re part of my source of happiness, and life didn’t feel the same without you—the kids could agree with me on that.” He chuckled, looking at them to find them holding hands and jumping around in circles. “But I know that we separated for the better only for us to come back stronger than ever, and I’m never gonna let go of you again, okay?” 

Tears pricked your eyes before they streamed down your cheeks. Your heart felt like it was pounding harder than ever, but it was filled with so much love from and for this man in front of you. 

Harry wiped away your tears, leaning in to kiss your forehead, down to your eyelids as he kissed your tears away. He pulled away and you opened your eyes, giving each other a relieved and happy smile. 

“I love you,” he said, and he swore he saw the brightest smile he’s ever seen—brighter than the sun. “Always have and always will.” 

“And I love you. C-Can you kiss me, please?” 

Harry grinned. “It would be an honor.” 

Placing his palms on the side of your face, he leaned his forehead against yours. Your hands were wrapped around his wrists, rubbing his skin softly. With a smile, he kissed you with such softness and passion that the flowers bloomed largely and the sun shined ever so brightly. The kids cheered and clapped, making bystanders think that you’d just gotten engaged, but you both knew that would be the next step. Your stomach was in knots, butterflies surrounding your body as he captured your lips with his. Hugging Harry’s waist, you pulled him closer and wrapped your arms around him, and he kissed you harder, effortlessly moving his lips in sync with yours as if he was a pro on kissing you, which he was. 

Harry pulled away first, giving you several pecks before opening his eyes. “God, I missed doing that. Missed you so much, darling.” 

“I missed you too, baby.” You were high on happiness, high on love. “I’m sorry it took us this long.” A slight frown appeared on your face, but Harry kissed it away. 

“Hey, hey. None of that. I would’ve loved you until the end of time. I don’t care how long it took, you’re my forever,” he vowed, not planning to break that promise. 

Missing his lips on yours, you leaned up to kiss him again while your arms were wrapped around his neck and his were around your waist, holding you tightly as if he was afraid you’d run off. 

Suddenly, you started giggling into the kiss, making Harry smile before he pulled away. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked. You started thinking about the conversation from the park when you asked him if he was seeing someone. 

You curled in your lips before you said, “You’re a literal dilf, and I’m so in love with you.” 

please tell me all of your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Spare Me A Moment? // Benedict Bridgerton

Request: I’d love to request a Benedict fic, if that’s okay ☺️ Maybe one where the reader doesnt belong to the ton and works for the Bridgertons and he falls for her but she can’t quite believe it (because why would he fall for someone of her status?) but eventually admits that she has feelings for him too? I hope this is something you’d like to write 🙈 Thank you so much 💛 - @dreaming-about-fanfictions

A/N: My first Bridgerton request and it’s from my dear, Astrid! Thank you, my lovely. I only hope I have done it justice. There are moments in this that are inspired by Downton Abbey (a different time period, I know, but I adapt) and the way the fic is written is meant to jump about POVs before finally bringing the reader or Benedict as the sole focus of the scene.

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of she/her pronouns, female reader, class differences, societal differences, pining, mutual pining, kissing, honest conversations, bridgertons being bridgertons, healthy family relationships.

Word Count: 5.4k

Of the families that resided in Grosvenor Square, there was not one so loved by their staff than that of the Bridgertons. They treated their staff fairly with decent wages and housing well as treating them with respect. The staff that work for the Bridgertons are so admired by the family that those in their employment tend not to leave for years on end; perfectly happy to remain devoted to one family.

To be a housemaid in a home such as Bridgerton House was an honour; as was repeated by the butler, Jenkins and the Head Housemaid, Mrs. Thorpe when (Y/N) began working in the house many years ago.

There was no other way to put it, (Y/N) adored working in Bridgerton House. She never minded the early starts, or the late finishes when the season was in full swing. She could never find herself bothered by having to pick up after the youngest children; their shoes and books lying about hallways and staircases, ready to cause an injury. (Y/N) was utterly devoted to the family; she could never imagine working anywhere else.

And if she had admired the second born Bridgerton with an interest that spoke to more of an employer/servant relationship, then that was (Y/N)’s cross to bear.

-----------

For months he had watched her from the centre of attention. He had observed how she held herself; tall and proud of the work she completed daily.

It had been a passing glance that had started it all. A polite smile and nod from her as Benedict passed in her the hallway, and suddenly he was hit with one, if not all, of Cupid’s arrows. After that, Benedict started to notice (Y/N) everywhere – started to notice the extra attention she paid Hyacinth when she was missing Gregory; he noticed how she would go out of her way to ensure his mother’s comfort in her drawing room, fluffing up cushions and pillows, and offering a blanket should there be a chill.

Benedict began to notice all of this and for a moment, he wondered whether he was beginning to lose his mind. He knew of the barriers between them, but that didn’t stop him from experience the raw emotion of wanting her. Benedict didn’t like to think how many hours of the day he devoted to thinking of her; dreaming of her.

All he wanted was to talk to her. To have a few minutes with her to plead his case; to help her understand that there is the very real possibility of a relationship between then should she feel the same way. How often he had dreamed of her feeling the same way…

A lovesick fool. Benedict Bridgerton was a lovesick fool but should (Y/N) spare him a moment, he would be her lovesick fool.

------------

From the very moment she woke, (Y/N) had been on her feet, rushing from room to room, tidying up after everyone. The whole Bridgerton family would be descending on the main house for the final meal of the day; they were welcoming Anthony and his new wife, Kate, home from their honeymoon.

That meant everything had to be perfect. That meant there was very little time to wander through the house; Jenkins was already close to tears; he could not be pushed any further.

The chiming of the grandfather clock in the hallway has (Y/N) hastening her steps, trying not to look too rushed as she thinks of the dinner service still needing to be taken upstairs and the wine to decant and the port to breathe. Whilst Anthony had a collection of whiskies and brandies in his study, the port was kept to the realm of the butler – Jenkins knew exactly what to buy and when to serve it. Tonight was one such occasion, and it still needed to breathe.

“(Y/N)!” Benedict calls, hurrying after her as she makes her way back to her quarters to dress for the dinner service. Jenkins, the Butler, would not be best pleased if she were to show up late.

“Mr. Bridgerton, how can I help you?” (Y/N) asks, curtseying to the second-born Bridgerton before eyeing the grandfather clock and noting the time.

“Spare me a moment of your time, please?”

“You should be getting ready for dinner. I know that Benjamin has laid out your clothes.”

“I want to talk to you… only for a moment, I know you have jobs to attend to.”

Smoothing down her apron, (Y/N) smiles softly at the brunette. “What would you like to talk about?”

“I thought it was obvious but perhaps not,” Benedict murmurs to himself, practically ignoring her question.

“I beg your pardon, Mr. Bridgerton but I must be getting on.”

“No!” He all but shouts, reaching for your hand, “Spare me another moment of your time… please.”

She wavers as if caught between the berating she will no doubt receive from the Butler for being late to the dinner service or letting down her employer whom she stands in front of. After a moment’s silence, her decision is made. “How can I help you, Mr. Bridgerton?” She repeats.

“Call me Benedict, please.”

She shakes her head, “I’m afraid I cannot do that, Mr. Bridgerton. It would be improper.”

Benedict hesitates; his hand still outstretched towards her as if desperate to feel her underneath his palms. “I’ve gone about this all wrong,” He says, eyes sad.

“Pardon?”

“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Benedict confesses, speaking plainly as if he hasn’t changed her world in six words.

“What?” She gasps; propriety falling away from her for a moment as the words he uttered settle into her skin.

“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Benedict repeats, voice firmer as he becomes surer of himself.

“How?” She asks, her face and voice puzzled, “I’m a housemaid, Mr. Bridgerton.”

His eyebrows furrow as if such a thing shouldn’t matter in their world. Yet it does – status is everything; titles are everything. A man who hails from a family such as the Bridgertons could not marry, let alone fall in love with one of the serving class. It simply didn’t happen. There was the occasional affair, but (Y/N) knew herself well enough not to be reserved as a mistress – it was not her destiny. She was to marry for love.

“I don’t know how it happened, but I find myself thinking of you every waking minute of the day. I find it hard not to stare at you when I see you completing your duties. At night, I long for it to be you lying next to me instead of the emptiness of the bed. I don’t know how it happened, (Y/N). All I know is that I am in love with you. This is no farce or folly.”

The words fall over her as rain would fall over grass. They soak into her skin, mould to her bones and become part of her in the span of mere seconds. Mere seconds, and her world has changed. As much as she longed to hear those words from his lips, this could not happen. Moving away from him, her chest aching with every step, she whispers her excuse to escape, “I’m sorry, Mr. Bridgerton, I need to get back downstairs.”

Watching her walk away from him, Benedict feels something heavy settle in his chest, pressing his lungs down and making it difficult to breathe. The barriers between them were so entrenched into society, Benedict begins to worry that he has lost her before he every truly got to know her.

Shaking his head, determination sets his nerves to steel. He would try again, he promises himself. He would not pester, but he would do what he could to ensure a brighter future for the both of them.

----------

“We’re down a footman,” Jenkins panics, “I’ve had to send William to bed with a head cold. We’re down one footman in the dining room.”

“What do you propose we do?” Mrs. Thorpe asks of the grey-haired man. Hands on her hips and her lips, thin, Mrs. Thorpe was not a woman to be trifled with. She had not run Bridgerton House for close to thirty years for Jenkins’ panic to ruin a single evening. So far in their shared career with the Bridgerton family, his nerves had almost ruined an engagement party, a christening, an end of season masquerade ball and now, a traditional family dinner.

The colour fades from Jenkins’ face as he mutters, “I’m going to have to have a housemaid in the dining room.”

Mrs. Thorpe rolls her eyes at the antics of the overly dramatic butler. “It won’t be the end of the world to have a housemaid in the dining room. Take (Y/N) – she’s liked well enough by the family and knows how to serve.”

Jenkins sighs wearily as if the weight of the world rests upon his shoulders. “I suppose I have no choice. Will you let (Y/N) know?”

(Y/N) is walking down the stairs to the lower levels of the house when she hears Mrs. Thorpe call her name. Turning, as she lands on the bottom step, she has a fond smile on her face for the Head Housekeeper. “Mrs. Thorpe,” (Y/N) greets.

“We’re down a footman this evening, dear,” Mrs. Thorpe says in greeting, never one to beat around the bush, “Would you be able to cover the dining room with Jenkins and Benjamin?”

“The dining room?” (Y/N) questions as the rug is pulled from underneath her feet for the second time that afternoon. It would mean having to see Benedict once more, but what choice was there.

“Yes,” Mrs. Thorpe confirms, “There aren’t enough bodies to cover the whole family. Everyone is dining tonight.”

“Of course,” (Y/N) smiles, “Of course, I’ll help. I’ll also take William a tray when I get a moment’s reprieve.”

Mrs. Thorpe smiles; the corners of her eyes crinkling from the force of it. “You are a gem. Thank you, dear.”

(Y/N) nods, smiling at the Head Housekeeper though she knows it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Having to see Benedict so soon after his confession had sent her mind into overdrive; her stomach tying itself into knots – she could only hope that the gentleman wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t humiliate her in front of his whole family.

Mrs. Thorpe touches (Y/N)’s shoulder, asking her softly, “Is everything okay, dear?”

(Y/N) nods, trying her best not to let her emotions show on her face. She had been blindsided by Benedict and his confession; didn’t ever expect such words to leave his mouth… well, expected them but never thought they would be directed at her.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Thorpe,” She smiles and whilst the Head Housekeep returns the smile, she does not believe the one on (Y/N)’s face for a moment.

“Are you sure you’re okay to help out in the dining room? Jenkins can always find someone else.”

(Y/N) shakes her head, knowing the butler better than she knows herself. “He would cause such a panic. No, it’s better I do it myself.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am,” She pats Mrs. Thorpe’s hand. “I am sure.”

-----------

It takes everything she has to stop her hands from shaking as she enters the dining room with her tray of food. Following Jenkins’ lead, (Y/N) holds her head high as she serves the Bridgertons, beginning with Anthony and then making her way from his right.

Benedict all but freezes in his spot when (Y/N) finally comes to serve from his left shoulder. He turns in his chair to find her staring down at him; a serving plate in her hand, the tongs pointed in his direction. Their fingers brush as Benedict reaches for the utensil sending a zap of static electricity up (Y/N)’s arm. She sucks in a breathe, desperate to keep the connection between them yet she is the one who straightens, who schools her face into a mask of polite interest.

“Thank you,” Benedict whispers, still unable to take his eyes off her.

“You’re welcome,” She replies, swiftly moving onto Gregory who sits patiently by Benedict’s side.

Jenkins who had noticed the exchange between Benedict and (Y/N) clears his throat, gaining the attention of the family waiting to start their meal. “I am terribly sorry for the informality. William took ill at the last moment and (Y/N) graciously offered to fill his shoes.”

Anthony Bridgerton smiles at (Y/N). “Thank you, (Y/N), for stepping in so quickly,” He states before turning his attention to Jenkins, “Has a tray been organised for William? Do you need us to contact the doctor?”

Jenkins watches the young Viscount with warm eyes; having known the Viscount since he was a babe in arms, it has been his pride and joy to watch him grow to the man he is today. “(Y/N) has offered to take a tray to William as soon as she is finished here. As for the doctor, my Lord, it seems only to be a head cold.”

“Let us know if anything changes, please.”

“Of course, my Lord.”

As food is served and wine is poured, happy and warm conversation flows through the Bridgerton family. Laughter is the most often heard sound in the Bridgerton home; it punctuates the air whether the chuckle and giggle comes from a member of the family or a member of staff.

Tonight is no different, it seems, as Hyacinth snorts midway through her laughter at Gregory’s latest antics. Visiting home for the weekend from Eton, Gregory was on hand to entertain his brothers and scandalise his dear mother with stories of his school life.

“I do hope you are paying attention in your lessons,” Violet admonishes her youngest son though there is nothing but maternal love in her voice.

Gregory smiles widely, holding a hand over his heart as he promises, “I do nothing less.”

His words receive an amused snort from all three brothers and a roll of eyes from his mother. (Y/N) turns her face away from the loving scene to keep the smile on her face from growing. This; this is what she years for – family, love, laughter and warmth. No matter how Benedict phrases his feelings, and no matter how she may feel for the Bridgerton, a relationship that harbours the four things (Y/N) holds dear would be impossible due to her station. A sad fact, but a universally accepted truth.

The topic of conversation once again shifts; this time focusing on the latest branch in literature. A novel had been published that had managed to scandalise not only the religious community, but also the scientific one. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was, to (Y/N), two things. Not only was it a book that promised the reader to be horrified, but it was written by a woman. Shelley was not the first female author, and she would not be the last but this latest venture into a new genre of literature inspired pride within (Y/N). With the growing availability of books through libraries, (Y/N) felt it was only time before something big happened in the fight for rights for women.

Though she kept those thoughts readily to herself.

“What do you think, (Y/N)?” Benedict asks, blue eyes sparkling over the rim his wine glass as every member of his family turns to look at her.

Eyes wide with shock, she glances over to Jenkins. He nods but he doesn’t look pleased at her having been called on by the employer. Taking a step forward, she curtsies slightly before answering, “I couldn’t possibly say, Mr. Bridgerton, sir. I haven’t read the book.”

“Come now, (Y/N),” Benedict continues, his smile growing wider, “You must have an opinion.”

“Benedict,” Violet chastises, “Leave the poor girl alone. She’s only serving tonight as William has fallen ill. There is no need to badger her.”

Violet smiles at (Y/N) apologetically as she takes a step back to the wall, her hands held neatly in front of her. Conversation soon turns to another subject, another topic which gives (Y/N) the space to breathe; to slow her racing heart.

Benedict’s eyes continue to steal glances of her figure for the rest of the meal. It feels close to a brand; the heat of his gaze burns through whatever shield she has up to the point where she is certain Benedict has laid her bare for all to see. It’s all she can think of; his keen gaze and his words to her before the meal.

Trying her best not to fidget, (Y/N) keeps her eyes focused on the portrait of a Bridgerton ancestor hung on the wall across from her. She only rouses herself from her nerves to serve the courses of the meal. (Y/N) cannot help but thank any god or deity out there when the dessert course is brought up and the meal is soon brought to a close.

-------------

It is easy to avoid someone when you ask for extra duties, (Y/N) thinks to herself as she carries a pile of dresses to be mended. The muslin is smooth against her skin as she lays the dresses out on the mending table before turning to find the sewing kit. Thankfully, for the dresses, there was not much to be done but mend a few holes that had torn near the hem. The danger of heels and quick walking women, (Y/N) humours.

It had been a week since the conversation with Benedict; his words constantly playing on her mind until she wakes in the middle of the night with them on her lips, as if she were reciting the conversation in her sleep.

Benedict had tried to gain her attention; he had made clear attempts at wanting to talk to her. However, she simply curtsied and went on her way. She didn’t know what to say to him; she couldn’t understand how he – the son of a Viscount, no less – had fallen in love with her.

It felt preposterous; it felt too good to be true. Yet as the oil lamps are dampened for the night and the other servants in the house have fallen asleep, (Y/N) lets herself dream of what it could be like to be loved by Benedict Bridgerton. She wonders about the curve of his mouth; what it feel like, whether he would smile into their kiss. She thinks of his hands; his long, artistic fingers and she briefly ponders whether he had ever drawn her, whether in his many sketchbooks there lies a portrait of her.

When she’s feeling a particular glutton for punishment, (Y/N) lets herself dream of a life with Benedict where class status didn’t matter. She thinks of what it would be like to wake up to him every morning; to feel the heaviness of his arm wrapped around her waist as he rises to consciousness with the sun. She yearns to know what it would feel like to be able to reach over and take his hand in hers, tangling their fingers together as if they had always meant to be intertwined.

The longing for him is what breaks her. It’s what causes the tears to roll down her face as she lets herself accept the fact that she is sure she has known for a long time. She lets herself accept that she had met the cliché of so many housemaids before her by falling in love with Benedict Bridgerton a long time ago, before he had even come to know her existence.

-----------

The drawing room on the upper level of the house was where Violet Bridgerton spent most of her day. On occasion, her sons’ joined the family, but for the most part, it was her daughters that kept her company. Violet remains occupied by her stitching patterns; a garden of tulips for the birth of Anthony’s darling new baby, however, she keeps a weather eye on Eloise and Hyacinth – her only daughters to remain at home and unmarried.

“Eloise,” Violet murmurs, “Would you be a dear and ring for some tea. My throat is parched.”

Eloise pauses in her writing; so occupied these days, Violet thinks as her second eldest daughter rises to ring for the kitchen. “What are you working on?” Violet asks, curiosity getting the better of her.

Eloise frowns, collecting the papers out of fear anyone should read them. “I’m writing to Penelope if you must know.”

“Writing? She lives just across the way, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind you calling on her.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t,” Eloise allows, “But there is nothing wrong with practicing my handwriting, is there mother?”

Violet smiles; a pained one that shows her exhaustion with her beloved daughter. “No, my dear. There is no harm in that.”

Eloise nods, smiling softly at her mother before returning to her letter. Violet watches her for a moment; the way her eyes read and reread the sentences written on the page – this was not a letter to Penelope; it was to a suitor. Violet knew full well, however, that Eloise would come to her when ready – she was not someone to be pushed into giving information.

Returning to her stitching, Violet finds that her attention is once more interrupted by the opening of the door. She sighs, placing the stitching down, curious as to whether she would get the piece done before the arrival of the sweet babe.

Turning to face the door, she is surprised to find her second-born, Benedict entering the room. His eyes, sad and his expression, solemn as he runs a hand again and again through his hair.

“Mother,” Benedict greets, leaning down to press a kiss to her ageing cheek. “May I speak with you about a private matter?”

Violet’s eyebrows furrow but she says nothing as she dismisses her daughters; each one complaining as they leave the room, closing the door behind them. At the click of the lock, Violet smiles warmly at her son – he was so different from Anthony and Colin, not the least interested in their games such as Pall Mall but would rather sit to the side with his sketchbook in hand. He had a boisterous streak; could play with the rest of them, but he had his moments where he fall into a tranquil state and produce artwork that could rival the greats.

Nerves tangling his stomach to pieces, Benedict begins to pace the room. His hands are hooked behind his back as he begins to pace backwards and forwards, trying to form sentences from the jumble of words in his mind. He knew, deep down, that whatever he should want to do with his life, his beloved mother would support him, but even Violet Bridgerton could not ignore the class lines so entrenched within society.

“Benedict, my dear, you’re beginning to make me dizzy. Stop pacing and tell me what’s wrong.”

Benedict pauses his pacing but does not sit down. Instead, he stands as still as a stone, hands gesturing wildly as he tries to form thoughts into sentences. Mouth opening and closing, he struggles of how to bring up the issue of love and marriage.

“You would never stand in the way of who we love, would you?” He finally asks, running a hand through his deep brown hair.

Violet frowns, “I would not considering they were within reason. Why? Have you fallen in love, Benedict?”

“I think… No. I know I have, but there’s a problem.”

“Are they a drunk?”

“No.”

“Do they gamble?”

“No.”

“Then whatever is the matter?”

“She’s a servant. A housemaid to be precise… in this house.”

Violet would be the first to admit that she is surprised by her son’s admission. Sighing, she pats the cushion next to her, urging her son to sit down. “Who?” she asks as Benedict falls into the seat beside her.

“(Y/N),” He admits, fiddling with the hem of his jacket.

She runs a hand through his hair, “Does she love you too?”

“I don’t know,” Benedict admits, “She ran off after I confessed.”

“Then I need to speak to her to find out once and for all,” Violet declares, smoothing out her skirts.

“Mother…” Benedict groans. Violet shakes her head, “Let me talk to her. I can reassure her in ways you cannot. I can tell her that I approve.”

“You approve?” He asks, shocked at the words leaving hid mother’s mouth. “I thought you would disapprove…”

“Because of her class? My dear boy, you have found your love match, that is all I wish for my children. Should (Y/N) feel the same then of course I approve. I would rather you be happy than miserable, my son.”

“Thank you, mother,” Benedict replies, kissing her cheek once again, “You’re truly the best there are.”

Violet blushes at her sons words, dismissing him with a wave of her fan. “Off with you, and ring for Jenkins before you go.”

Benedict bows before pulling the cord by the door. Leaving the room, Benedict cannot help the smile that crosses his face. He truly holds some hope that (Y/N) might feel the same as he does and if his mother should approve, then there should be no issue to their courting and their union.

----------------

(Y/N) wrings her hands together on entire walk to Lady Violet’s drawing room. Having been summoned by the Lady herself, this could be either of two things. One: she was about to find herself suddenly unemployed for reasons she did not yet know. Or two: Lady Violet knows about the conversation with Benedict.

Neither reason made (Y/N) feel particularly confident as she is shown into the drawing room. Her heart remains in her throat even as Lady Violet smiles at her warmly; gesturing for her to sit down across from her and take some tea.

Adding one lump of sugar to her tea, Lady Violet bluntly asks, “Do you love my son, (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) promptly drops her spoon into her tea causing it to splash on the table cover. “Oh!” She gasps, reaching for a napkin to clean up the mess as best she can, “I am so terribly sorry, Lady Bridgerton.”

Violet chuckles, “It’s no problem, (Y/N). Tea tends to wash out as I am sure you are well aware. I do not want to think of how many table cloths and dresses I have stained in my time… but I love the drink so many more stains are due to come.”

“My mother says that the world can be put to rights over a good cup of tea.”

“Your mother sounds very wise.”

“She is,” (Y/N) nods, smiling wistfully as she thinks of her mother with the fondness of a child. “I write to her nearly every day. She likes to hear about the city and what is happening. She feels as if the Bridgertons are her own family.”

Violet beams at that, “I am glad to hear it, (Y/N), but you have not answered my question.”

“I apologise, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Are you in love with Benedict?”

(Y/N) remains silent for a moment before beginning to nod her head. “I am. I know I am,” (Y/N) begins, “But…”

“But what?”

“I could bring nothing to the courtship and then nothing to the marriage. My family are not rich enough for me to have a dowry; I have no title or land; I barely know proper etiquette – I would offend everyone the moment I stepped through the door. On top of that, think of the social connections Benedict would lose – there would be families who would never speak to him again all because he had the rotten luck to fall in love with me.”

Violet’s blue eyes grow determined as she begins to list off: “You do not need a dowry; we have enough money as it is. There is no need for you to have a title or land, Benedict has his own homes. In terms of etiquette, you converse with me quite well, so I see no issue there. As for social connections, if people cannot see how happy you make my son then that is their issue, not yours and not Benedict’s.”

“What about the Viscount, Lady Bridgerton? Surely he has final say.”

A glimmer of something maternal shines in Violet’s eyes as she smiles. “Let me handle my eldest son. You have no reason to worry, (Y/N). Benedict loves you. I will not stand in the way of his happiness.”

“So you approve?” (Y/N) asks, forgetting herself for a brief moment before dipping her head in apology.

Violet dismisses her apology with a wave of her hand; after all, if things go to plan, she would be calling (Y/N) daughter in no time. “Do I approve of having to find another housemaid as talented as you? No, I do not. But do I approve of the lady that my son has given his heart to? Absolutely. To be entirely truthful, I would rather it be you than someone in society.”

“Thank you, Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) says gratefully, feeling the all too familiar prick of tears in the corner of her eyes.

“Now go,” Violet smiles, the familiar sting of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, “Go find my son and tell him how you feel.”

Standing from the chair, (Y/N) curtsies with a smile before rushing from the room. Her mind in a daze as to what has truly happened just now.

-------------

(Y/N) finds Benedict in the library, sat awkwardly in one of the chairs with his sketchbook propped up in his lap. He’s focused entirely on the sketch at hand; his mouth set in a determined line as a finger delicately smudges part of his work.

For a single instant, (Y/N) watches Benedict in his element, finding that the butterflies in her stomach have turned from slumbering to a full blown riot at the mere sight of the man that had captured her heart. Still riding on the high from her conversation with Lady Bridgerton, (Y/N) steps further into the room. Benedict freezes in place at the sight of her stood by the stacks of books; her eyes are bright, and her skin flushed as she fiddles with the hem of her apron.

The painting flashes in his mind suddenly and his fingers twitch with the urge to turn the page of his sketchbook whilst simultaneously asking her to remain still so he can immortalise her on page. She’s perfect; she’s the perfect model and she doesn’t even realise it; Benedict thinks to himself.

“Spare me a moment?” She asks tentatively, as if worried of his reaction.

“All my moments are for you,” Benedict whispers honestly setting her heart racing in her chest. He stands from the chair, long legs coming out from under him as he leaves his sketchbook behind.

“All mine are for you too, if you’ll still have me…”

“What?”

“I love you too,” She confesses, voice small as she fiddles with her fingers, eyes cast on them – too scared to meet his gaze.

A finger under her chin has her meeting his deep blue eyes. Eyes that are alight with the happiness that surges through his veins; that highlight just how his heart sings at hearing those magical words leave her mouth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” (Y/N) begins to ramble, “There is so much that is standing in the way for us, and I know you do not care or at least, I think you do not care but I cannot help but worry that if we were to happen, one day you would wake up and regret every moment of it. I am not from the same class as you, Benedict, I do not want to ruin you.”

A smile breaks across his face despite the stark desperation of her words. She furrows her eyebrows, half in curiosity, half in concealed frustration. “What are you smiling at?” She demands.

His hands move to cradle her face; thumbs rubbing over her cheekbones as he chuckles, “You called me ‘Benedict’.”

Thinking over her words, she smiles despite herself. “I suppose I did.”

“As for your worries: I do not think there will be one day in my future that I will not wake up and be grateful. However, that will only happen if you are in it – if I am waking up to you every morning. Darling, I do not think you can ruin me. I think you will be the making of me.”

“Do you promise? Not to regret me?” She whispers, a note of vulnerability in her voice.

“I promise,” He vows, pressing a kiss first to her forehead, then to her nose and cheeks. Then as he hovers above her lips, he whispers, “With every moment you spare me, I could never regret falling in love with you.”

******

Bridgerton Taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @dreaming-about-fanfictions @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown @janelongxox @aspiringsloth20 @wallwriterstuff @magicalxdaydream @darkestbeforethedawn16 @gryffindors-weasley​

Taglist is open! If you would like to be added, drop a message to my ask box and I shall add you to the list.

[dudeandduchess]

Kyōjurō x F!S/O: The Way I Loved You (Angst with Happy Ending, SFW Scenario)

Warnings: Angst with Happy Ending, Toxic Relationship, Arguing, Screaming, Fighting, Kissing in the Rain (lmao), Mild Mysoginy (since this is set in the Taishō Era)

Note: It feels so good to have written this down. Please don’t be too harsh on this piece, as I’m still not in the best condition. I just couldn’t resist not writing it down immediately. 😅💖

***

The wedding was beautiful. At least, it was supposed to be.

It was going to be the wedding of the year— according to all of (Y/n)’s relatives; especially her mother. They parroted those words over and over, until she was so sick to her stomach from having to hear it get dragged out over and over.

The wedding that (Y/n) was planning was supposed to be a big one; after all, it was her dream wedding, to her dream husband. He was so perfect, so incredible— he even got along with the most unhospitable of (Y/n)’s relatives.

Her husband-to-be was just that amazing. He was always there when it mattered, and even when it didn’t matter. She only needed to send him a letter to get him to come to her side. She couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

He was so unlike Kyōjurō.

The name sent a pang through her chest, tugging at her heartstrings in the worst of ways that left her a little teary eyed and shaky. Kyōjurō wasn’t like her betrothed at all, but she couldn’t help but still want him.

She was still so desperately in love with the Flame Hashira, that she had kept putting off her wedding— in the hopes that he would swoop in at the last second and take her away from there. Still, even after months of lying through her teeth about anything and everything that she can with regards to the wedding, she had finally given up.

Accepted that she had made the worst mistake of her life when she told Kyōjurō to never show his face to her again.

“I hate you! I hate everything about you! I hate that I let you hurt me like this; that I let you affect me this much!” She remembered screaming the words at him on the day that they had parted ways.

But, even though she tried to shake the memory away, it still played in her head. A painful memory that had her closing her eyes and rubbing the area just above her heart. “I hate that you’re never there for me! I don’t even see you, Kyōjurō! We’ve been together for years, but I’ve still yet to get a proposal from you! Am I just a good time to you? Someone not worth marrying? Because I gave everything to you, Kyōjurō; everything that would define me as a woman worth marrying.”

She didn’t know what Kyōjurō had been thinking about in that time, but it was obvious that he was also conflicted. Until he closed his eyes and sighed heavily; so heavily that (Y/n) felt her heart sink to her stomach.

It was a resigned sigh, and it told her everything that she needed to know.

So, instead of crying and begging him to marry her to preserve her dignity as a woman— as well as mend the broken fragments of her heart— she gritted her teeth and walked away from him. (Y/n) walked as fast as her feet could take her, biting back tears while on her way home.

And that was the day that she swore that she would forget all about him. Only, she never did.

The young woman hadn’t even realized that she was already crying; not until she felt the first warm tear land on the back of her hand. It shook her from her painful reverie, and had her quickly swiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from her eyes.

“(Y/n), we’re going to have dinner with your husband soon. You should change,” (Y/n)’s mother chirped happily from outside her room, totally oblivious to the fact that her daughter was biting down on her bottom lip to silence the sobs that threatened to wrack through her body.

The action made her chest hurt, even when she hunched over and tried hugging herself— if only to keep herself together, when she felt like she was coming undone. She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore— the wedding of a lifetime with her dream man, or to be stuck in an endless cycle with the man she loved.

It hurt her to even think about it, to the point where she had slipped up and accidentally released her bottom lip. And that was the catalyst for all of the heartbroken and painful sobs that had her feeling so weak.

She couldn’t even breathe, let alone move from where she was. All that she could do was cry and heave, and silently call out for Kyōjurō.

But even that, she knew, wasn’t enough to get him back.

***

It was the end of the night, with (Y/n) having been the envy of every other woman at the restaurant. Men and women alike couldn’t resist turning their gazes over to her and her betrothed— but maybe it was mostly because of all of the scars that littered his body.

Sanemi was perfect for her; strong, serious, steadfast and— most of all— someone who could charm everyone with his manners and politeness. He just looked gruff on the outside, but (Y/n) couldn’t have asked for anyone better suited for her; someone who accepted her as she is.

He never made her wait, and never made her feel bad. Even when he was away on missions, he never failed to send her updates. He was everything that Kyōjurō wasn’t, yet he was also everything that (Y/n) realized that she didn’t really want.

She wanted those goofy, late night strolls with Kyōjurō, and having to wait for days for a five-page letter that was mostly apologies for forgetting to write. She wanted to feel so much again with the love of her life, instead of stewing in her hollow achievement with who is seemingly the perfect man.

A sad smile tugged up on the corners of (Y/n)’s lips as she tucked all of her things away. She was already ready for bed, but the memory of a smiling Kyōjurō as he helped her get on a stone bench played in her memory.

It was one of her most treasured moments, because it was the moment that she realized that she was truly in love with the blond.

He had wrapped his arms around her waist while she stood atop the bench, lifting her up and spinning her once just to elicit a quiet scream from her. He always had fun with joking around with her, that it had become a normal occurence for him to do it just to see the progression of her getting mad to her smiling at him as she called him a goofball.

Kyōjurō had never told her, but it was those moments— among so many more— that he treasured the most.

He loved her with his whole being, but the only problem was that he couldn’t fully commit himself to her; not when he wasn’t sure if his next mission was going to be his last.

He knew that he couldn’t do that to her; so, instead of tying her down to him, he chose to just let her go— even if it was the most painful thing that he’d ever had to do in his life.

That was why Kyōjurō didn’t know what he was doing outside (Y/n)’s house in the dead of the night, looking up at the window that he knew was hers— waiting for what, exactly, he didn’t know.

Maybe he was waiting for her to come out for him? To feel his presence like some lovers do, and just magically jump in his arms— as if he hadn’t hurt her before.

Kyōjurō wasn’t quite sure about his plan anymore. Especially since he remembered the look on her face when he chose to stay silent in the peak of her anger. He wanted nothing more than to tell her that he did love her, he just couldn’t hurt her more on the off chance that he died.

The Flame Hashira didn’t even know just how long he had been standing there— clearly trespassing— but he was past the point of caring. He just wanted even the smallest glimpse of her; one look and that would tide him over.

One glimpse of her and that would soothe his aching heart.

Kyōjurō felt something cold hit his cheek then; one tiny drop, that was then followed by more and more droplets— until he was standing under a torrential downpour. Yet he couldn’t care less about his dripping clothes, or his hair that was matted to his face.

All of that seemed trivial compared to the pain that he felt when he lost (Y/n).

The rain was pelting him harder than before, yet he still stood there— waiting right by her open window; hoping that she would take the time to even walk past it.

However, (Y/n) did more than what Kyōjurō was asking for. She went right up to her open window and had begun to close it, when she looked up and saw a figure that she would never forget in her lifetime.

Her hands froze right where they were holding on to the window, and her heart practically lurched in her chest before coming to an absolute standstill.

And, before she could process what she was doing, she already found herself rushing out the shoji and hastening towards Kyōjurō. She felt every possible emotion bubbling up within her, telling her to rage and scream at him— yet also telling her to pull him close and never let him go.

So, she did both.

She stopped right in front of a wide-eyed Kyōjurō and lifted her hand up— swinging it up to slap him across the face, before she cupped his cheeks and pulled him down to finally kiss those lips that she had been missing for so long.

Kyōjurō didn’t even fight it; not getting mad at getting slapped, at the very least. He knew that he deserved that, and he also knew that he didn’t deserve (Y/n)’s kiss— yet he still found himself melting into her. His arms had even wrapped themselves around her; pulling her in against his chest as he savored the taste of her lips.

Both of them didn’t know how long they stood there beneath the downpour, so lost in each other that they paid no mind to the cold seeping into their skin. Everything else came second to each other, as both of them had been longing for that reunion.

Even when Kyōjurō pulled away and tucked a few strands of hair away from (Y/n)’s face, the only thing that he could do was lean down and kiss her again— all before hugging her as tight as he would allow him to.

And, before he could stop himself, he found the words rolling off his tongue and meshing in with the rain— yet also rising above the sounds of the world around them. “Run away with me.”

[hopelesshunny]

the love languages part iii: words of affirmation (f.w.)

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: y/n thinks fred is losing interest in her after he catches another girls eye so he makes sure she knows just how much he loves her.

warnings: kissing, mentions of cheating, misunderstandings, mentions of a breakup, insecurities, mentions of marriage, mentions of pregnancy, very brief joke about a physical fight, ANGST but with a happy ending!!

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is late and i'm very, very sorry but i started writing it and kinda hated it so i had to take a step back and come back to it! i kinda struggled with this one bc words of affirmation is the farthest thing from my personal love language but i hope i did it justice.

*all photos are from pinterest*

series masterlist // part i // part ii // part iv

The warm sunlight washed over Y/N’s skin as she stepped into the courtyard, a smile etched on her face at the thought of seeing her boyfriend, after spending the entire day in class away from him she couldn’t wait to revel in the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. She scanned the sea of students before her eyes finally found him, her smile slightly dropped when she saw two Hufflepuff girls standing in front of Fred as he leaned against a bench on the ground. The two girls were older than Y/N, they giggled as they spoke to him, one of them twirling her hair around her finger. She could feel jealousy pooling deep in the pit of her stomach coupled with an overwhelming sense of guilt as Fred looked very uninterested with the conversation the two girls were attempting to initiate, constantly looking around in search of her.

“There she is!” Fred spoke when Y/N made her way to him, the smile on his face was so genuine that she almost forgot about all the anger that previously possessed her.

“Hi, Freddie.” She greeted, giving into his outstretched arms to let him pull her into his lap. He placed a sweet kiss to her temple. “Hi.” She spoke softly, turning her attention to the two girls, irritation lacing their features.

“Maybe we’ll see you around Fred.” One of them piped up before leaving, whispering to one another as they retreated.

“Your friends seem nice.” Y/N scoffed, biting the inside of her cheek as Fred’s arms tightened around her, sensing her discomfort.

“Not my friends.” He chuckled, littering the side of her face with kisses which earned a giggle from her. “Just some girls in my Herbology class, they won’t leave me alone.” He added.

“Can’t entirely blame them.” She joked, attempting to make light of the situation. “I don’t leave you alone either.”

“Mhmm.” He started, turning her head to face him so that he could place a kiss to her lips. “But your company is more than welcomed, princess.”

She giggled at his soft demeanor, taking his hand in hers whilst she leaned back against his chest as she listened to him babble on excitingly about some of the new products he and George were working on for the shop. She felt content here in his arms but her mind kept wandering to the girls that were obviously attempting to flirt with her boyfriend.

Y/N knew Fred loved her, knew that no matter how many girls flocked to him he would always politely excuse himself from the situation in order to find her, knew that he wouldn’t even think about cheating on her but was he losing interest in her? What if he was looking at all these other girls and thinking they were prettier than her, smarter than her, better than her? She pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to think about losing Fred to someone else, she could hardly stomach it. But truly, it plagued her, Fred had come into her life and made it completely different, he forced her to live in colour after so long of feeling like she was one of those sad black and white Hollywood starlets. He made her feel special, made the rain seem like a gift instead of an inconvenience, made the sun feel warmer and the moon feel like he hung it in the sky just for her.

Fred noticed that Y/N had something on her mind and spent the next few days constantly asking if she was okay but he knew that she was far too stubborn to tell him what was bothering her. Because of this Fred tried a little harder to make sure she knew how much she meant to him, Y/N knew what he was doing but she wasn’t ready to confess to him that she was jealous of all the attention he was getting from the girls at school, worried that her insecurities would push him away. But that was never something that crossed Fred’s mind, he had assumed that other people flirting with him would upset her which is why he always rejected the advances, always made sure she knew that there was no one else walking this earth more perfect for him, he truly wanted nothing more than to slip a ring on her finger and spend the rest of his days with her. Hell if he had a ring right now he’d propose to her no questions asked.

“Alicia, do you know who that girl is?” Y/N asked as she sat in the library, textbooks littering the table in front of the two girls as they poured over their homework. Alicia spun around in her seat to get a look at the girl in question.

“The Hufflepuff girl?” She asked to which Y/N nodded. “I think her name is Jessica, why?”

“It’s nothing.” She lied in reply, gritting her teeth. “Just asking.”

“No you’re not.” She spoke casually, seeing directly through Y/N’s facade. “You don’t seem like yourself lately, what’s wrong?”

“She was talking to Fred a couple days ago.” Y/N sighed. “I just can’t shake it, I’ve caught her staring at him at dinner a few times and she was so adamant about talking to him that day.” Her voice shook as she spoke, Alicia looked to her with a soft smile.

“Y/N.” She started. “Fred loves you so bloody much, so much so that it's kind of gross sometimes. He’d never even think about pursuing another girl, he looks at you like you have a halo hanging above your head.”

“Thanks.” She sniffed, giggling at her friend. “You’re a good friend, Alicia.”

“And if all else fails, you could probably take her in a fight.” Alicia added, earning a loud, genuine laugh from Y/N earning stares and shushing from those in the library.

She felt lighter after her conversation with Alicia and was excited to see Fred at dinner, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his entire face. Her warm and fuzzy thoughts of Fred were interrupted when she saw Jessica running her fingers up his arm, a devilish smile playing on her lips. Y/N could hardly process the sight in front of her, it was making her sick to her stomach so much that she couldn’t bear to look at Fred’s face not wanting to see his reaction to the pretty girl in front of him trailing her hand up his arm. She didn’t even realize that her feet were carrying her body away from the sight in front of her until she could hear him calling after her.

Tears spilled from her eyes, tracking down her face as she ignored Fred’s desperate calls to her, practically running through the common room and up to her room. She slammed the door, sliding down it as she pulled her knees up to her chest, sobs now freely leaving her mouth.

“Y/N, angel-” Fred started, outside her door, he was audibly out of breath from chasing her through the castle. “Open the door please.”

She sat there for a minute, contemplating never opening the door, never speaking to him again, just simply forgetting that she never ever heard Fred Weasley’s name. But she knew she couldn’t, knew she could never forget about him and she also knew she shouldn’t just shut him out, he would never purposely hurt her. With a sigh she lifted herself from the ground and opened the door to find her very disheveled boyfriend, his hair messy from running his hands through it, his face flushed. As soon as she saw him her legs collapsed beneath her, choked sobs making their appearance once again.

“Hey, hey, none of that.” He whispered, taking her into his arms on the floor. “She just came up to me love, I told her she had to leave me alone, that there was never going to be anything between us because I was in love with you.” He rubbed circles into her back as she sobbed into his chest, placing barely there kisses into her hair.

“Are you-” She started, another brutal sob racking her body. “Are you losing interest in me? I-I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me if you don’t want to be.” Freds heart was aching listening to her, he cursed himself for the way she was feeling. He should have told her he loved her more, he should have woken her up every morning by telling her she was the only girl he ever thought of, that he ever wanted.

“I love you Y/N.” He began. “H-How-”

“You can love someone and get bored with them.” She spoke quietly. Fred sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders, he pulled her back to look at her.

“I will never get tired of you, you will never bore me and there is not a chance in hell that I will lose interest in you.” Her eyes found his for the first time since she first opened the door. “I think about you all day, everyday, from the second I wake up with you in my arms until I get to fall asleep next to you, all I think about is you. You’re everything to me.” He let a deep sigh leave his chest as he took her face in his hands. “I’m going to marry you Y/N, in the backyard, back home with everyone there and then we’re gonna have a bunch of little red-headed babies, send them off to Hogwarts and argue over what house they’ll be sorted in.” He said, pulling a giggle from her which he reciprocated with a relieved smile.

“You want to marry me?” She asked as he wiped a stray tear from her eye with the pad of his thumb.

“I have since the day you agreed to date a bloody git like me.” He joked, pulling her into his chest. “It’s only you Y/N, it’s always been you, it’ll always be you, you’re it for me.” She buried her face into his jumper, forgetting about Jessica, forgetting about her doubts, just breathing in his scent, just feeling his lips on her hairline, just her and her Freddie.

taglist (join here!!)

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[dumb-gryffindor]

Happy Birthday

Based on the headcannon that Sirius ran away on Reggie's birthday

..............................................................................................

Sirius stared at the open trunk in front of him. He had already packed everything he needed, arranged everything with James and was ready to leave this shitty excuse of a family. He didn’t care about getting disowned or burned from the stupid family tree, he only cared about being finally free, about finally finding a loving and happy family. 

But yet, there was something stopping him. Something that had had him hesitating about his decision for the past 20 minutes. Why couldn't he leave? It was as easy as going through the door, and if he was lucky, he would do that unnoticed. This wasn't just a silly prank like the ones he always did at Hogwarts, this was going to define his future, so he took the time to make a Plan B, and a Plan C and a Plan D, although he hoped that he wouldn't have to recur to those.

"Come on, Sirius. It has been your dream to leave since you were 11, so just fucking do it" He told himself. With a slightly shaky breath, he closed the trunk and was ready to grab his wand, which was lying on the ground, but then he heard a knock on the door.

"Sirius," A voice said on the other side of the door. Sirius' heart suddenly dropped to the ground, "Mother says you should come down. We are about to eat the cake" Regulus said, and Sirius noted sadness in his voice.

Silence. Suddenly he didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, in the middle of his now empty room (except for the wall decorations, purposely left there). He knew Regulus was still there, and Sirius had the urge to at least do something, to let his brother know that he was there, like he always did. He rushed towards the door, but stopped himself before grabbing the doorknob. After a second or two of hesitating, he finally opened it.

Regulus' eyes lit up when he saw his brother, although his expression stayed the same. He had barely come out of his room for the entire day, only early in the morning before everyone else was awake to wish Regulus a happy birthday. He had missed his birthday lunch and dinner—neither brother ever got to have a birthday party, so a family dinner was as far as they got—and had spent the entire day packing his stuff.

So, that was what was keeping Sirius from leaving. His brother. His little brother (Not so little anymore, though. He was already fourteen). He couldn't just leave him. Not when he had spent his entire life protecting him, trying to guide him into the right path instead of the one that his parents wanted him to go through. Yes, things had gotten quite difficult now that Voldemort was becoming more powerful everyday, but Sirius had never stopped loving or caring for his little brother, and was sure Regulus felt the same. 

"Reggie" Sirius said, trying to smile, although he found it quite hard. He wanted to say a million more things to him, but he didn't have the courage to say them. "Come with me, let's leave this house together" "Don't stay" "I'm sorry. For everything"  "Happy Birthday" "I love you".

"So… are you coming or not?" Regulus asked, and Sirius snapped back to reality, and looked at his brother in the eyes. He couldn't leave him behind, but how was he going to tell him? He was aware of the fact that Regulus had been manipulated by his parents to always be against his brother, so it was expected for him to react badly to the proposal. But instead, Sirius did what he best knew what to do: Fuck things up.

"I’m leaving" Sirius said, and Regulus looked at him in confusion.

"What?" He asked

"I'm leaving," Sirius repeated.

"What?" Regulus asked now in disbelief. Sirius felt a pang of pain in his heart as he watched his brother realize that it was not a joke, and that he was actually leaving, “W...Where? Why?”

“Well, it was obvious that at one point I would finally get fed up with our parents' bullshit, and that moment is now.” Sirius said, “I’m going to...to James’ ”

“Of course you are” Regulus muttered, his eyes flashing with anger, but his voice flooded by disappointment.

“Co...Come with me, Reg. We can live together and have a life of our own,” The oldest brother suggested, grabbing his little brother by the shoulders, but Regulus quickly shook him off.

“Are you… are you out of your mind?” Regulus said, angrily, “We wouldn't last two seconds outside before having hundreds of aurors looking for us… and...and you can't just leave like that!”

“Yes I can.” Sirius replied dryly, “And I swear we will be safe at James’ house with his family. We can have the life we always wanted, Reggie…”

“The life you always wanted, just because you were too blinded by your ego to realize that our parents only wanted us to be safe and successful!” Regulus interrupted him, and Sirius noted his eyes glimmering with tears. One part of Sirius wanted to scream to his little brother, to make him finally realize the truth, to wake him up from whatever their parents had poisoned Regulus mind with, but the other half wanted to stay just for him, wanted to go downstairs and finally act like the rightful heir of the Black family, just for Regulus.

“Reggie, please…”

“Don't call me that.”

“...Just, think about it. A life away from mother and father. You wouldn't have to be stressed all the time, you wouldn't have to carry such pressure over your shoulders. You wouldn't have to become them, you wouldn't have to join the Dark Lord! Think about it!” Regulus stayed quiet for a few seconds, seeming to have an internal war with himself. Sirius suddenly felt a flash of hope that maybe he had managed to convince his brother with that last idea, but then Regulus stood up straighter and his jaw clenched.

“You don't know anything about what I want” He answered.

“For fuck sake, Regulus!” Sirius snapped, starting to lose patience, “Wake up! Cant you realize you are being fucking manipulated by them?!”

“I'm perfectly capable of realizing when someone is using me, and that would not be the case in here!” His brother answered back, “You always talk about mother and father like they are the fucking devil himself, when everything they always wanted was just for us to be safe and to know what is best for us!”

“That's what they want you to think! They just want you to become like them, they just want you to lead you to a path that will make you unhappy. It's not too late to change everything. Just come with me! We can be happy with James and his family, we can form a new family!”

“Oh, its always about fucking James!” Regulus snapped, “James this, James that, James told me this…You seem to prefer him as your brother better than me!” Regulus shouted, pronouncing James’ name like it was poison, and Sirius said nothing for the next few seconds. Regulus was panting with anger, his fist clenched and a storm being unleashed in his grey eyes. Sirius’ blood was boiling by this point, and he didn’t see the point on continuing arguing, not when Regulus was this reluctant to open his fucking eyes for just one time.

“Fine,” Sirius managed to say, “Then stay the fuck alone in this house” He stormed back into his room, grabbed his wand and quickly casted a levitation charm on his trunk, not caring about the fact that he would most likely get a warning from the ministry. The ministry could suck his dick. He went out of his room again, his trunk following him floating a few inches from the ground, Regulus just standing there. He snapped back to reality once his older brother was already a few steps down the stairs.

“Sirius, please!” He said, grabbing his brother's wrist, but Sirius quickly let go, not bothering to look back, “Please, think about it!” His voice was now almost like a whisper, pain managing to creep through it.

“I’ve already thought plenty about this, Regulus, '' Sirius simply replied. His brother followed him down the other three flights of stairs, saying things that Sirius chose to ignore, as much as it hurted his heart deep down. He could hear the voices of his family members—ex family members— in the dining room, and that somehow encouraged him to leave faster. He reached the entrance hall and opened the front door. Rain was pouring outside, but that didn't stop him.

Sirius started walking quickly towards the sidewalk, his hair getting wet and falling over his shoulders due to the rain, his clothes getting soaked wet. “Wait!” Regulus called for him. Sirius stopped on his track and turned around to face him, surprised to see that he was running after him. He stopped, and both brothers looked in the eye. 

“Please. You can't leave… You can't leave me” Regulus pleaded, his voice low and looking down to his feet. Sirius' expression softened a little, realizing this was his last chance to save his little brother.

“Then come with me, Reg” Sirius answered, this time in a softer tone, “I promise, everything we’ll do, we will do it together. I’ll never leave you alone, Reg. I swear”

“Then don’t leave!” Regulus shouted back. They were both now soaking wet, and Regulus had started to shiver a little, so he hugged himself in an attempt to cover his arms from the cold. Sirius felt the impulse to hug him and protect him from the cold, to protect him from the world, but he remained on his spot, looking at his brother.

“I have to, Regulus! I don't want to keep living on like this. I want to be free and to be whoever the fuck I want and to be surrounded by the people i love!” Sirius answered, and Regulus stared back, his eyes reflecting the moment his heart shattered, begging him to stay.

“Stay for me. I need you” He whispered, the sound of his voice slowly fading away with the pouring rain. Those words hit Sirius like a trainwreck.

“I won't stay, I’ve already told you that!” Sirius managed to say, although he hated himself. Of course the last thing he wanted was to leave his little brother behind, but he was just so tired and the only thing that he wanted to do was arrive to the Potter’s, where he knew he would always be welcomed, “If you so desperately want to be with me, then just fucking come with me!”

“I can't, Sirius. I can't!” Regulus shouted, “I cant.” He repeated himself, this time in a lower voice. Maybe he was waiting for Sirius to keep insisting, but he didn't. He made a decision, one that he would later come to regret the prior years. One that the cold and lonely cell in Azkaban would make him hate himself for. But the past can’t be undone, and with just three simple words, Regulus life was ruined forever.

“Then I'm sorry” Sirius said, “I really am, Reggie”

A sob escaped from Regulus lips, and a tear fell from his eyes, although it mixed with the raindrops that were falling down his cheeks. The brothers locked eyes for one last time. One last time, and they both understood that this was the end of it. Of everything.

“Happy birthday” Sirius said, and started walking away from the house, from his childhood, from his suffering, from his brother.

..............................................................................................

Soo, this is my first time writing a one shot (can you call it like that?) and i'm quite happy w it :) English isnt my first language so there may be some mistakes.

Hope you liked it :)

[effeminateboyninja]

♡ konoha 11 wedding hcs pt. 2 ♡

+ kakashi

Ino

she makes a reservation at your guys' favourite restaurant, and the staff are all in on it because she wants it to be perfect. when you arrive the table has flowers and candles

at the end of the meal she orders a desert for you two to share and at first you don't notice the flash of gold on top the small cake, you're too busy staring at her. but when she finally points it out you throw yourself across the table to hug her, accidentally getting some icing on your shirt, "yes, yes! I do!"

glamorous and classy summer wedding! instead of one person waiting at the end of the aisle, you decided to enter from opposite sides and then walk up together, hand in hand, and she doesn't let you go until the ceremony is over. you invite everyone you know and throw a huge party for your reception!

your song: at last by etta james

Shikamaru

he debates for a long time whether he should even propose. i mean, do you really need a piece of paper to love each other for the rest of your lives? but he knows you'd appreciate the symbolism. and if he figures if he's gonna do it he might as well come up with a plan, but the day comes and nothing is working out as he had imagined

you end up loving every bit anyway though. then he gets down on one knee after one too many mishaps and says, "(y/n), I'm sorry today wasn't perfect, but I think you are. marry me?" but you thought it was perfect the whole time anyway, "of course!"

you guys elope one bright, spring day. he's not one for a big wedding and you don't care as long as you're marrying him. it's just you two and the officiant, surrounded by the trees of nara forest, and it couldn't be more perfect. when you guys get back from your honeymoon you have a reception to celebrate with all your friends

your song: dead sea by the lumineers

Choji

gets shikamaru to help him plan the proposal, and he's really nervous but he knows how much you love him. he really wants to make it personal and not generic, he knows you'd expect him to propose at a restaurant

so he decides to make a gourmet meal for you himself at home! you walk into your apartment to the smell of delicious food and find him sitting at the table waiting for you, that adorable smile on his face. he kneels and asks you to marry him, and you enjoy your meal as a newly engaged couple

big wedding!! Ino does florals of course and they're perfect. Choji is such a sweetheart i feel like he wants everyone to be there. he does not hold back when he sees you, you're just so perfect and he's not afraid to show it so he's beaming and let's those tears flow with pride

your song: lucky by jason mraz and colbie caillet

Neji

he knows for a long time that he's wanted to marry you, but he's also a naturally hesitant person when it comes to this sort of thing so he considers it for a long time before he decides to make his move

one day he wakes up beside you and he just knows its time, so he talks for a walk to a scenic pond, and everything is going perfect - until it starts pouring. but he's not giving up, so he gets on one knee and looks up at you with his long hair stuck to his face from the rain (*swoon*) and asks for your hand in marriage

(yes he says it like that, he's cute n traditional ok??)

anyway, a romantic, private wedding where you two can really express your feelings for one another. it takes place in the morning instead of the evening so the sun is rising above you while you say your vows and the way the morning light hits his face he you can't believe he's your husband

your song: till kingdom come by coldplay

Tenten

you guys both got rings for each other and have been carrying them around for months because you share a braincell. and one day you're walking through the village together and she's looking at your gorgeous face laugh at something she said and she's like, this is it

so she gets down on one knee. and you just start... laughing more? and at first she's so scared but then she sees you pull the ring from your own pocket and get down on your knee as well. then she throws her arms around you joining in your laughter, "I love you so much ."

whimsical, midsummers night dream type summer wedding. your guys' ceremony is super personalized and non-traditional, everyone has so much fun at the reception that people are talking about it for weeks after

your song: you and i by ingrid michaelson

Lee

first person he tells when he knows he's going to ask you is Gai of course, and he's so happy so him he cries. goes all out for the proposal, i feel like he's the type to do something wild and extravagant because he just thinks you deserve the world

we're talking this man tried to spell it out in the sky but due to some logistic issues he had to "settle" for a perfectly planned proposal in front of all your friends along with a pre-schedule professional photographer. he thought of everything.

spring wedding under the cherry blossoms, it's perfect in everyway. like Choji he is not afraid to let his emotions for you show so he's practically bawling as he watched you walk towards him. vows of just absolute devotion and love

your song: make you feel my love by adele

Kakashi

actually so nervous to pop the question, stresses about it and confides in team 7 (big mistake) they're of course, SO enthusiastic but less than helpful

one day he's just looking at you and realizes there's no such thing as the right time. he even forgets to get down on one knee, just pulls out the ring beside you on the couch. you're not sure if you're imagining things at first. "is this real?" "yes, (y/n). marry me, please?"

fall wedding surrounded by the changing leaves in a small, intimate ceremony with your closest friends. he doesn't cry when you walk down the aisle, he knows how to keep his composure in front of others, but by god does he want to. your vows are so personal and full of emotion people almost feel like they're intruding listening to them

your song: first day of my life by bright eyes

[liptonsbabe]

Birthday

Sirius Black x reader

Summary: Reader’s mad at Sirius ‘cuz he forgot her birthday. Something normal in him. Now he has to apology somehow

Word count: 1.6 k

Warnings: none(?

Same note as ever. English not my mother language. Tell me if something’s wrong pls

You were very excited, you could not camouflage your joy even if you tried to do so. The next day would be your birthday and you felt very happy about that. it would be your first birthday with Sirius as a couple and you were fully convinced that would be great. You left the Gryffindor common room in the way of the great hall to meet your best friends and your boyfriend. You greeted everyone with an effusive kiss on the cheek and Sirius with a kiss on the lips. Everyone looked at you confused

"What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing, we were waiting for you for breakfast" James replied raising his eyebrows looking at you confused

"Oh well, I'm here, let's eat!"

You smiled from ear to ear making James raise his eyebrows even higher

"(Y/N) are you okay?

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, it’s just that you look different. It is weird to see you like this”

You laughed at your friend's comment

"No, no. I'm happy, very very happy. That’s all"

"And why are you so happy, love?" Sirius asked putting an arm around your shoulders. Remus lowered the book he was reading to look at you with a bright smile 

"Well ... let's say that tomorrow is a very special day"

"Oh yeah? Why?"

You ignored Sirius' question. You knew he was joking, he was your boyfriend, obviously he had to know what would happen tomorrow. Maybe he was just pretending so you wouldn't notice the surprise party he was throwing for you or something. Although you had to admit that Sirius knew how to hide that secret perfectly.

"You know why" You flirtatiously winked at your boyfriend and then gave him a kiss on the corner of the lips "Let's have a quick breakfast, we have History of Magic first thing in the morning"

The marauders grunted at the same time. You laughed and then had a well-deserved strawberry cake for breakfast.

The day had passed very tediously. You had done very badly on potions, transfiguration and charms and you assumed it was because you weren't focused enough on the subjects to think about the surprise that Sirius would give you the next day

On your birthday you woke up earlier than usual, quickly put on your uniform while doing your hair a bit, took some makeup and put it on your face, smiled at the little mirror you had on your stool and got out of your room bouncing until you reach the common room.

The place was deserted, you were the first to get up and get ready for the day, you bit your lip and waited for Sirius and the others to come down

It was more than half an hour until Sirius came down to the room still wearing the bottom of his pajamas, since he tended to sleep without a shirt; he rubbed his sleepy eyes and saw you smiling in the common room. He came up to you and kissed you sweetly

“Good morning doll”

“Good morning Sirius”

You waited for a birthday greeting, but it didn't come; Sirius just stood there, next to you looking at you with a lopsided smile. You raised an eyebrow

“You have nothing to say to me?” you questioned. Sirius shrugged

“Like what?”

“Something about ... today”

“Today?”He remarked confused until he seemed to remember something “Ah, yes, can i copy your astronomy homework for today's class? I just didn't have time to do it. James and I had a problem with a couple of Slytherin boys and we completely forgot about it”

You crossed your arms, disappointed

“Sirius, do you know what day it is today?

“Uh ... Tuesday?” He rubbed the back of his neck at the sudden angry tone you used. You shook your head

“Forget it”

Sirius's mouth was left in the middle of a word from your sudden escape. He heard you curse him under your breath and sob, but he couldn't understand why. He dropped into one of the chairs until Remus came jumping down the steps two at a time with a package in his hands.

“Hey, Sirius, have you seen (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, she just leave”

"Oh great," he said smiling. Sirius pointed the package

“What's that?”

“Oh! It's (Y/N)’s birthday present

Sirius jumped up completely scared

“What?!”

“It's a hand knitted sweater. I didn't have a lot of money to give her something better, but I hope she likes it. I did it myself ”he said proudly. Sirius paled

”Oh no. Oh no, shit!”

“What?”

“Remus, you're going to kill me but I forgot (Y/ N)’s birthday

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes holding the package tighter

“I'd be surprised if you didn't. Sometimes I think that you use the obliviate on yourself at night, I have no better reason to excuse your stupidity”

Sirius ran a hand through his long hair

"Help me, please”

“No, i won’t”

“PLEASE!”

“Will you be my slave for a week if I help you?” Sirius stuck his tongue out

“Never”

“I’m sorry for you then. Good luck”

Remus walked towards the portrait and before he left, Sirius stopped him

“Wait! I’ll do it”

“The offer was only valid when I proposed it. Now, solve this by yourself”

Remus strutted out at the great hall. Sirius ran up the stairs to his bedroom so fast that he bumped his little finger on the way up; he cursed his bad luck and put on his uniform as fast as he could

Sirius entered the great hall seeing how Remus and you were sitting together; You were putting on the sweater that Remus had given you over your uniform while smiling at your friend. The sweater was in Gryffindor colors and in the center was a baby lion. Sirius felt a twist in his stomach. He walked up to you and as he walked, he noticed how the greetings were raining down on you in the great hall making him feel bad

It wasn't even two seconds after Sirius sat down on the table when you stood up and left without even looking at him. James clapped him on the shoulder

“Remus has told me everything and you know? I think you are a moron”

“Yes, I know”

“What are you going to do now?” Peter asked

“Buy her a gift. A huge one to forgive me”

Remus chimed in

"She doesn't wants an expensive gift, she just wants you to remember the special dates." Sirius frowned.

“You don't know anything about women”

“Well, I know more about your girlfriend than you do” Peter and James laughed ”Look, if you want to give her something, just make sure it’s special

“Yeah, something like ... a necklace or something. Girls like those things”James added.

Sirius nodded

When classes ended Sirius's feet ached from following you through the hallways to apologize. You were ignoring him and Sirius felt very jealous when the boys from other houses greeted you and you thanked them with a smile; he felt terrible that others remembered his girlfriend's birthday and not him.

By that time, Sirius had already found the perfect gift and kept it in a small wooden box that he had gotten thanks to Peter. He hadn't even attended classes to find something you might like; In the end he decided on something very simple. He went to your room and knocked the door

“If you are James, Remus or Peter, come in. If you are Sirius you can fuck yourself"

"Baby please ..." Sirius begged behind the door.

“Don’t “baby please me” That’s not enough!”

“I know, but I've been asking for your forgiveness all day. I feel like a fool”

“Well that's what you are!”

"Love, open the door, please. I promise that if after what I have to say you can’t forgive me, then we will split up and I will walk away from you forever”

Sirius waited for five minutes for an answer. He was about to leave when the door opened. Sirius rushed in and knelt in front of you

“I'm so sorry, princess.I hate myself so much for forgetting such an important day. I'm a monster! I couldn't remember your birthday even if you indirectly told me the other day, I'm a fool. Don’t leave me please. I love you. I love you so much”

"Sirius, stand up" You helped him stand up and he handed you a box

“I bought you something. I know you might not want it after what happened, but I bought it with all the love in my heart”

You took the box and opened it. Your eyes filled with tears.

On the box was half a silver heart with a caption  on the front. Sirius took it between his fingers

“I have the other half. See?” He said taking the pendant out of his shirt. You connected both parts and saw that the caption said: I give you my heart "I carved it myself with my wand. I know it's not a big deal, but ...

You kissed him unexpectedly and then hugged him

“Oh Sirius, it's perfect”

“It is, but not as much as you are”

[uwuwriting]

How they propose w/ Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Kuroo

Request: Oikawa, kuro and iwa proposing to their long term girlfriend??? -anonymous

Hi it’s me back again. *if anyone knows from which song this is I’m gonna give them a cookie no cap*. I’m back with another one and this one is just the cutest thing ever. Oikawas’ is a little dumb and goofy but I believe he would do something like that. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules 

warning: fluff and some dorkiness. 

Oikawa Toru

-Okay so he is obsessed with tik tok....and his proposal kinda made it on tik tok. 

-Its a nice cutesy proposal I swear he’s just overly proud of himself. 

-You had just moved in with him in Argentina. 

-Somehow you managed to get a job in your field in the town next to his place so when you told him that well you were moving to Argentina he didn’t hesitate to ask you to move in with him. 

-He misses you way too much, the distance makes it hard for him to feel your comfort. 

-He would never dream of breaking up with you; he would make it work even if it killed him.

-So it’s been a month and a half of living together and he is in heaven. 

-He knew that he wanted to marry you for some time now. 

-Since that moment at the airport the day he was leaving. 

-Iwaizumi was there along side Matsu and Hanamaki. 

-The three dumbasses were bawling their eyes out while you were semi chocking him. 

- “Call me when you land okay? I wanna know how jet lagged you feel.” 

-The sad smile on your face was enough to make him spill them tears, a sad smile of his own taking its seat on his face. 

- “You’ll make fun of me again.”

- “It’s part of my duties as your girlfriend you beautiful dumbass.” 

-And right there with you hands on either of his cheeks and tears in your eyes he knew that he would wife you up. 

-Now he has been planning this for some time. 

-He went all the way to California to find Iwa so they could pick a ring together.

-Both of them needed a ring but anyways.

-After obtaining the ring....he hid it for a few weeks. 

-He would wake up everyday ten minutes earlier than usual and just ask you to marry him while you were still asleep. 

-Once he was satisfied with the amount of times he has said it he gets up and is out the door. 

-He took you to meet his team.

-he wanted to do it then but he chickened out. 

-So what does he do? 

-He sulks on tik tok. 

-Until he comes across a video of a girl stepping into the shower with her boyfriend and pretends that she wants to ask him something important. 

-Of course that was a very dumb way to ask you something so big but he got an adrenaline jump and five minutes of dumb courage. 

-He sets up his phone right outside the shower curtain and just walks in with you. 

- “Hi?!”

- “Hi”

-*giggles* “Can I help you mister?”

-And here is where things take a turn because doubts start to make their way into his head and his palms are getting sweaty-

- “Toru love are you alright?”

- “Marry me.”

-The video went viral, the squad clowned him until your first child was born and your kids laugh with the story till this day. 

Iwaizumi Hajime 

-Unlike his best friend he took this wayyyy to chill. 

-It popped up in his head one night before one of your visits. 

-His roommate had asked him why he stayed in a long distance relationship. 

- “Is she really so worth it man? You could have a chick in your bed every night and not wait for her visits every three months.” 

- “You cannot imagine how worth it she is.”

 - “You sound like you wanna marry her dude.” 

-And from that point on he couldn’t get it out of his head. 

-Sure he had imagined your future before.

-The house you’ll have and where he would like to go on your honeymoon, what your kids might look like and what kind of mom you would be. 

-But all of it was pure speculation. 

-He just wanted to see how it would feel to be so domestic. 

-So here he is almost a whole year after that night, choosing a ring along side Oikawa. 

-This dumbass had taken the decision to get married too quickly and had called Iwa very VERY panicky and in need of some comfort.

-They both picked their respective rings and hid the velvety boxes deep in their pockets, the two best friends saying their goodbyes and heading off to their missions. 

-Now Iwa wanted this to be as lass forced and too thought out as possible. 

-He believes that these things are best  done in privacy and only netween the two partners. 

-So he doesn’t plan anything out. 

-He waits for the moment when it feels right. 

-And that’s why it took him over a year to actually ask you. 

-Of course it wasn’t such an improptu move like Oikawas’, he was a little less tik tok-y??? 

-You had ordered tak out and were eating in your shared apartment. 

-After graduation you got transferred to the USA and were placed near Iwa so now just like Oikawa you lived together. 

-It has been a nice calm year of just domesticated fluff. 

-You were telling him about your day, how one of your co-workers ate your boss’s pretchel and they flipped.

-Or how you saw a dog dressed as a hotdog right next to a hotdog stand. 

-And that’s when he just drops the bomb. 

-He has been keeping the small velevt box in his pocket ever since he bought it. 

-Wordlessly standing up he makes his way to your side of the table and drops to one knee. 

- “I’m pretty sure you know already that I believe you are my soulmate. My other half and I couldn’t begin to imagine my life without you in it. Not even a month without you. That being said, it would make me the happiest man in the world if you would give me the honor of calling you Ms. Iwaizumi. For the rest of our lives; until we are old and wrinkly with our family running around us. Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

-You were crying at this point, nodding your head since the moment he called you his other half. 

-Of course you said yes and some bomb sex followed.

-Oikawa and his now wife, were so happy to hear that Iwa finally gathered the courage to ask you.

Kuroo Tetsuro 

-Baby!!!!

-He may be nasty but he is my og husband. 

-Actually my second og husband. 

-The first one is Akaashi. 

-He bought the ring the same day he decided to ask you. 

-He had been in a meeting and he was bored out of his mind so he texted you. 

-You two started off by making fun of each other and ended up playing one of those dumb facebook games. 

-He was letting out small giggles here and there which mind you were barely audible but the guy next to him heard them alrtight. 

- “Talking with the missus eh?”

-Kuroo couldn’t control himself when he answered. 

- “Yeah.”

-His coworker let out a chuckle at the sight of Kuroo’s face of surprise at his own words. 

- “It was about time you wifed her. You two are so in love it almost makes me jealous.”

- “Jealous that you don’t have a beating heart Kai?” 

-He got slapped....moving on. 

-So with that he called you once the meeting was over and informed you of his plans for tonight. 

- “Get dressed baby I’m taking you out for dinner tonight.”

- “What’s the occassion mister?”

- “It’s something special. Be ready by 9 I’ll pick you up from our apartment. Oh and could you please wear that gorgeous red dress of yours?”

- “The satin one? The one I can’t wear a bra with?”

- “You without a bra is just a bonus baby.” 

- “You are a horny idiot Tetsu.”

-Now he was out on a mission. 

-The mission of the ring. 

-So he needed to call on the fellowship. 

-Thirty minutes later Kenma, Yaku and Daichi were waiting for him at the local Starbucks. 

-Alas the fellowship of the ring. 

-These four idiots could barely agree on a single thing. 

-Gave the shopkeepers a headache. 

-But finally FINALLY they decided on one. 

-Patting their friend on the back they were off, hoping that you would say yes. 

-Apart from Kenma who prayed to the rain gods that you finally open your eyes and see what you are dating. 

-While at the restaurant he was quieter than usual. 

-He would let you talk and talk and talk about everything and anything with giving you only small nods or hums. 

-He was so caught up in his head that he couldn’t see th worry in your eyes. 

-  “Tetsu, is everything okay? “

-And there was his oportunity. 

- “Actually something is kinda bothering me and you are the only one who can help.” 

-He slowly got up and made his way to your side. 

- “You remember a few months back when you joked about us getting married? Or that other time when you said that I would make a great dad? Well I guess tonight will determine all of that.”

-He kneeled down and opened the small box rubbing your knee with his other hand. 

- “Y/N L/N will you help me make those dreams reality?”

-Kenma disapproves. 

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @reinyrei​ @bemorefiction​ @axerrri​ @dnarez​

[omgrachwrites]

The Princess and The Duke - Chapter One

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of England to make an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne. Royal AU.

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, Spanish translated by using Google Translate :(

Words: 2395

Disclaimer(s): This gif does not belong to me and I’m so sorry if this Spanish is wrong.

Translation(s): Mantenerte fuerte - stay strong

A/N: Here we are, the first chapter! This is by no means historically accurate hahaha! Can you tell that I miss the Spanish Princess? :( Hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think and let me know if you want to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter One - Oh, What a Circus

It was a beautiful awakening that you had on the day that your life and future changed, when you woke up from your siesta, your chambers were warm and the perfect Spanish sunlight was streaming through your sheer linen curtains. The room was cast in a holy yellow light like God himself was honouring you. You made the most of your siestas now because you had heard that the boring English people did not take them.

Smiling sadly, you plucked a sugared grape from the golden platter and you walked over to your window, relishing in the beauty of the Castile water gardens. You knew that you would never be coming back to this palace of such beauty and splendour again because you were to be the Queen of England. You were to live out the rest of your days in grey old England. It had been a betrothal since birth but you didn’t want it, you never had. Only your parents wanted it.

You felt your eyes fill up with tears – you didn’t want to be the Queen of England – and you prayed to God, telling him so and asking him for a miracle. It seemed like God had heard you and answered your prayer for a few moments later, your father was shouting outside of your rooms, his voice like rumbling thunder.

“How dare he insult us so? Bastardo!”

At the commotion you crept out of your rooms and into the hallway where your mother and father were talking, the hallway was hardly the place to be talking about this, “Madre, Padre,” you called out as you approached them.

Your father’s eyes softened as he looked at you but he still brandished the letter in front of your face, “that son of a whore King James has written to us apologising for he has taken a common woman to wife and made her Queen! We should ally with the French and invade England!”

A soft blossom of hope bloomed in your chest as you realised that you wouldn’t have to marry the King of England. But, you were also incredibly insulted, how dare he refuse you? You, who was the Princess of the Castile, was not to be refused

The Queen tutted as she snatched the letter from your father, “we need to be allied with the English, it’s been 16 years in the making, we cannot throw it all away. King James had been kind enough to propose an alternative match.”

Your father growled, alarming some passing servants, “he offers us the Duke of Bedford, a man who has bastards all over England no doubt. He’s not worthy of our greatest treasure,” your father smiled fondly at you as he cupped your cheek with a large hand and you smiled up at him.

You knew the Duke of Bedford – Sirius Black – by reputation; he held the French lands for the English. He was said to be handsome but had fathered many bastards. Your father was right, he wasn’t good enough for you, “Padre is right Madre. I am a princess and I should be marrying a future King, a Duke is below my station. I won’t marry him!”

Your mother’s eyes flashed with malice as you defied her, she had always hated the fact that you weren’t a boy; she had to pass on her crown to your older sister, “you will Y/N! The Duke of Bedford is the second most powerful man in England; the King heavily relies on his council. You will be a very powerful woman, also no one in Europe will take you now, you’ve been promised to England since birth and now they will get you. We will write of our confirmation and our thanks and you will set sail for England as soon as possible Y/N. the Queen wants to meet you before you go to the Duke’s lands in France,” she looked at you without warmth as she strode down the corridor. She was a ruthless leader but you almost looked up to her.

Your father smiled at you kindly as he kissed your forehead, “Mantenerte fuerte Y/N,” he whispered against your skin.

“Mantenerte fuerte Padre,” you repeated with a smile as you looked into his kindly, weathered face.

The day before you were due to set sail for England you were taking a walk around the Castile water gardens with your lady in waiting, Sofia. You feared that this was the last time you would see the radiant Spanish sunshine and Sofia must have sensed your fear because she took your hand in hers.

“We will see this land again Your Highness, with your children. England is but the next great adventure,” she told you wisely and you smiled at her, squeezing her hand gently as you sat on the stone benches.

“I really hope so Sofia.”

The crossing to England was slow and gentle but the rocking motion of the ship made you rather sick, so sick that you were sure that you would die. Sofia was at your side, sponging your forehead and the back of your neck as you sobbed, you wanted to go home. You missed your parents already. You even missed your mother with her cruel words and scathing retorts, she acted like she was the King herself but she was the strongest woman you knew. You hated leaving your father behind with her.

Finally, after what felt like years at sea, you saw land again and you could have wept with joy, even if it was dreary and dull, it was supposed to be springtime. You disembarked from the ship with shaky legs and you were met by the English army who all bowed low to you, “Your Highness,” they muttered as they sank into the sand. You made the most of the fact that they were using your proper title; you weren’t sure how long that would last.

You chose to ride alongside the army instead of residing in the lavish litter that the English had prepared for you. You wanted to see as much of this new country as you could. The first thing that you noticed about this land was that it was very green and you knew that England must get a lot of rain. That thought did nothing to cheer your dark mood.

Though, you missed Spain terribly, you saw the charm and the beauty of the English countryside and the villages you passed through, you smiled at the peasants as they called your name. You hoped that you would grow to love this new land because you would be coming to live at the English court after your wedding.

The English court – and London - was much more beautiful than you had anticipated even if it was a bit constricting. Nerves swarmed in your stomach as you were admitted into the magnificent Throne Room and you noticed that all the lords and ladies of court were looking at you like you were some sort of strange beast. It was in the Throne Room where you saw the most beautiful and dazzling woman.

Queen Lily had long curling tresses of flaming auburn hair and she had the most beautiful green eyes. You almost admired the King for defying everyone and marrying the woman that he loved. True love was all that you wanted but you were unsure whether you would ever have it, you had been unsure about that fact since you were a little girl. Queen Lily was smiling at you with beauty and kindness in her eyes while the King looked at you warily. He should look at you like that; he should have been ashamed of himself.

You sank into a low curtsey, “your Majesty’s,” you muttered.

“Princess Y/N, thank you so much for coming here and accepting our invitation please arise,” the Queen smiled, she had a melodic voice. You smiled back and stood up straight.

“I apologise for the insult that I must have extended to your family,” King James bowed his head mournfully and you had to admit that he did look very sorry.

You shook your head, if the King started to apologise to his subjects then he would seem weak to those who would want to take his throne, “you’re the King,” you said simply, “I am happy to marry the Duke of Bedford,” you lied.

King James chuckled as he ran a hand through his messy curls, “well, I’m sure that Sirius will be delighted to hear it,” he grinned and the court chuckled obediently.

Queen Lily giggled; it was a musical pretty sound, as she got up from her throne and walked towards you, taking your hand in her warm one as she looked at you with a kind smile. She was as warm as the Spanish sunshine, “I would be delighted if you and your lady would join my household when you return to court.”

For the first time that day you didn’t have to fake the smile, “we would be honoured,” you smiled at Sofia who nodded eagerly. You were touched by her kind words; she smiled and lowered her voice so only you could hear.

“We ladies must stick together; it’s a man’s world after all.”

You smiled as you shook your head, remembering what your mother had told you years ago, “no your Majesty, it’s a woman’s world, men just live in it. I know it’s hard to believe but in time you will see it.”

------------------------------------

Sirius’ springtime dream had come to a rude and final ending, he had spent his days among such beauty and pleasure that he never wanted to stray from it. No man would. However, duty – and his King – called him and he couldn’t refuse the call. He had to leave behind his life of pleasure for a life at court where friends would stab each other in the back. Sirius was getting married and he didn’t want to dishonour his future bride, even if he would resent her. So he had to say farewell to his mistresses. They were sad to see him go.

Sirius had been best friends with King James since they were boys and James had made him such a powerful man than Sirius was only second to the King. James had been betrothed since birth to Princess Y/N of the Castile. At first Sirius was jealous that James was to wed a Princess but then again, he was going to be the King, it was his birth right. Sirius was surprised when James had come to him about four weeks ago to tell him that he had secretly married Lily Evans, a very minor lady at his court.

James’ marriage meant that the contract with England was void unless there was another match for the Princess. At first Sirius had resisted the match, he fought and raged against the King before he stopped and really thought about it. He had to marry well and he couldn’t do any better than the Princess of the Castile, a young woman who had been promised to the King. Sirius knew that he wasn’t good enough for her but he was used to coming in second, to his younger brother Regulus, and to James.

It was a beautiful day in France the day he was to meet his future bride and hoped with all his heart that it was a good omen. He jumped as the door flew open and James strode in, grinning like a Cheshire cat, “come on Sirius! Y/N is here and she’s as fair as they all say,” James beamed, it seemed like he was really happy for Sirius.

However, that didn’t stop Sirius from grimacing, “then why didn’t you marry her?” Sirius mumbled, combing his fingers through his hair as they walked down the hallway.

James snickered as he slapped Sirius on the back, “because I fell in love,” he said it as if it was the answer to everything, “and I wish you and Y/N the same.”

“Not bloody likely,” Sirius muttered as they descended the stone steps and walked out into the glorious French sunlight.

Butterflies swarmed in Sirius’ stomach as he looked towards Lily and Remus – the Earl of Warwick – who both nodded at him encouragingly. Taking a deep breath, he looked towards his future bride and felt his heart jump up into his throat. Princess Y/N was beautiful; it was like she had just wandered from the pages of a fairy tale. She looked just like the Nymph that was featured in the tapestry that hung in the East Wing. Though, Sirius knew that beauty counted for nought if she had an ugly heart.

Y/N’s pretty eyes looked over the beautiful chateau appreciatively before she gained the courage to look at Sirius. Her eyelashes seemed to flutter of their own accord and her lips opened slightly as a pretty flush grew on her face and neck.

Y/N cleared her throat and curtseyed, her ladies following suit, “My Lord, I am pleased to meet you,” her voice had a wonderful little something to it due to her Spanish accent but it was still as pretty as a song.

Sirius smiled as he approached her and he noticed her eyes roam from his feet, stopping at his lips before looking into his eyes. Her eyes sparkled in the sunshine, like precious jewels. He bowed low to her and took her warm hand in his, pressing a feather light kiss to the top of it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness, you are most beautiful,” he said smoothly and her flush deepened, “in my household you will still be treated as a Princess, even after we are married,” he didn’t want to take that title away from her.

“Thank you, My Lord,” she smiled, looking pleasantly surprised, “your home is beautiful, I think that I will like it here.”

“Would you like for me to show you around?” he asked on a whim as he held out his hand.

She nodded, the sunlight rippling through her soft hair as she did so and she took his hand, allowing him to lead her inside. As soon as they got into the cool chateau Y/N let go of his hand. Sirius bit his lip as he rubbed the back of his neck as he nervously looked over at the beautiful princess, searching for the right words.

“I’m sorry Your Highness, you weren’t supposed to come here to be a Duchess, you were supposed to be Queen.”

Y/N looked at him and smiled wanly, in the depths of her eyes there was almost a look of understanding, “I don’t like being passed around England like a prized cow.”

Sirius nodded as Y/N stopped to marvel at a beautiful tapestry embroidered with a mermaid, “I understand, you won’t get passed around England. I promise.”

“Thank you, My Lord,” she smiled graciously as she bowed her head.

“Sirius, call me Sirius.”

------------------------------------ 

@smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​ @siriuslyjanhvi​ @pregnant-piggy​ @lindatreb​