#the (mis)adventures of a very silly bisexual girlie

[queer-cosette]

I’m sorry, STABBED *DURING* SEX????

oh yeah it was wild. she was like "I'm into knife play" and at this point he's only ever been with his first girlfriend who is both extremely controlling because she has no personal sense of identity and also notoriously boring in the bedroom. like 'vanilla' is too strong a descriptor. 'milk' maybe at best y'know? and so he goes "fuck it okay let's do it" and then she. uh. stabs him. he's been stabbed on two other occasions (because we live in the stabbing capital of the UK and he can't keep his mouth shut when he's drunk) so I'm not entirely sure which stabbing scar was the ex-girlfriend but like a month later he realised she was trying to poison him and was like "ah. okay. I will be going now" and ran for his goddamn life. In comparison I made him cookies on our third date so like. I think I'm doing pretty good.

[queer-cosette]

actually the most embarrassing thing about dating someone for the first time in five years is that I have learned I am horny exclusively in a tumblr accent. my boyfriend told me he's never heard me say anything horny and I was like what the fuck just last week I told you I want to put Jason Dean in the blender. and I'm only now learning that apparently that's not horny and instead is a cause for concern

[queer-cosette]

so I'm researching for Tattoo Number 3 (I have Tattoo Number 1 already and have planned out Tattoo Number 2) and the thing is I work in both theatre and teaching (I teach theatre classes) so I cannot have any visible tattoos when I'm teaching (and am also more likely to lose additional theatre work if I have visible tattoos) so here is my problem

Tattoo Number 1 is on my lower back. I wear a leotard while teaching so it isn't a problem

Tattoo Number 2 is planned to go on my lower stomach (won't be visible unless I'm wearing extremely low-slung jeans)

Tattoo Number 3 needs to be hidden

Used up the obvious places

It's going to end up going on my ass isn't it

Tattoo Number 1 is a Baudelaire/Heathers/MCR reference

Tattoo Number 2 is going to be an MCR lyric

Tattoo Number 3 feels like it should branch out a little

I love whimsigoth aesthetics! what if I got a whimsigoth tattoo

Quick Google search very quickly teaches me that uh

Whimsigoth has been coopted as an aesthetic by that part of the white vegan hippy dippy community that's like. fascism and white supremacy and gender essentialism coated in progressive-sounding language

might keep brainstorming this one lads

I am NOT getting a 'feminine energy' tattoo on the genderqueer ass of the year

[queer-cosette]

I wouldn't recommend being in love because it keeps causing me to have thoughts like "I used to reflexively reach for an imaginary cigarette when I'm walking, and now instead I reach out to hold your hand, and I get sad when your hand isn't there for me to hold" and also thoughts like "oh my god you fucking nerd I need to sit on your face so bad" and I'll be honest it's kind of getting in the way of my normal thoughts, which are usually along the lines of *slowly rotating various characters to whatever MCR song is playing on my headphones right now*

[queer-cosette]

one of the funniest things about being a bisexual afab enby and dating a bisexual guy is that we both want to bang Hugh Jackman but for very different reasons

[queer-cosette]

the second or third time I went out with my boyfriend I made a joke about how I'm not interested in pegging, but I want a guy who'd be down for it if I suggested it and. he put up his hand. like, to be like 'me me me me pick me that's me pick me'. and then I panicked and high-fived him

[queer-cosette]

"What do you mean the best sex you've ever had is heterosexual?!?"

Well first of all it's not heterosexual so jot that down, we're both bi and I'm not a cis girl no matter how much people like to pretend I am one, and second of all how obviously queer a relationship looks on the surface has nothing to do with how satisfying the sex is, and the best sex is always going to be with a partner who listens to and respects what you want - including afterwards. The fact that my ex-girlfriend and I were an obviously queer couple didn't stop her from asking me to leave her flat as soon as I had my clothes on again, and I had to walk to the nearest trainstation in the dark after 11pm and hope to god I got there before the last train left. The fact that my boytoy and I appear on the surface to be cishet has nothing to do with the fact that after sex he'll cuddle me and check in that I'm alright and get me a drink if I'm thirsty or overwhelmed and if I'm not staying over at his he'll walk me to the bus stop and wait with me until my bus comes and asks me to text him when I get home.

And that's not to say that queer women can't be deeply loving and respectful partners or that all men are amazing at checking in and taking care of their partners' needs, I don't want anyone to misinterpret what I'm saying here. But someone's gender isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a crappy partner, nor is it a good-partner-guarantee, and nor is it a skull-and-crossbones label warning you of toxicity. Looking for an easy shortcut sign is just gender essentialism dipped in progressive language.

I don't tend to see a lot of these takes on here very often any more, mainly because I block liberally, but I know they're still out there, so can I especially say to my bi/pan/omni homies, if anyone ever tries to convince you that women are automatically better lovers, or that your relationship issues are your own fault for dating a man, they absolutely 100% have an agenda and they can go fuck themselves. You deserve effort and respect and a satisfying sex life (including asexual people and what they define for themselves as a satisfying sex life, even if that's none at all) from partners of any and every gender and if someone can't give you that it's because of at best a lack of compatibility and at worst issues with their character. Their gender has nothing to do with it.

[queer-cosette]

💖 porn bots will be blocked and reported fuck off 💖

Hey, now that that's out of the way, call me Coco!

Here are some personal tags to help you find and filter stuff on my blog:

coco speaks - chit chat and updates about my own life and what I’m up to

coco writes - my fiction writing!

coco does art - drawings and sketches by me

coco sings - my music tag! Contains both audio and videos

coco covers six - my specific tag for my covers of songs from Six the Musical

another party favour from the sack of nightmares - my health tag. The sack of nightmares being my body.

coco will not shut up about this one - stuff (mostly politics, sometimes fandom wank) I feel particularly passionate about

ask coco - asks people have sent me!

mr no name kid - stories and cute anecdotes about my boytoy because you guys seem to like him almost as much as I do, and I like him quite a lot <3

the (mis)adventures of a very silly bisexual girlie - I am an adult and sometimes adult situations occur in my life that I want to chitchat about. If you're not comfortable with NSFW content (I get it, I was 16 once and I also identified as fully ace-aro for five years) this is the tag to block.

I generally tag common triggers (bugs, alcohol and drug mention/use, body horror etc.) but if there’s something specific I post about occasionally that you’d rather not see, please shoot me an ask and I’ll see what I can do!

Enjoy perusing my silly little corner of the internet!

Addition, 3/9/21: I freaking love ask games. And tag games. And regular asks, although I keep anon off due to some death threats some militant vegans were sending me a while back. But yeah, never fear that you’ve sent me an ask game too old! I love ask games so much I will literally scroll back in my blog to find it so I can answer for you ^-^

Addition, 17/3/22: Please remember that most banter-y Tumblr posts are made by people who chat outwith their dashboard. If you see me bantering with someone, we’re probably chatting about it somewhere else and you’re just seeing the funniest parts of the conversation. It’s okay for them to make fun of me because it’s probably an in-joke. If I don’t know you and you make fun of me, it reads like a straight up insult even if you didn’t mean it that way. Tumblr etiquette, people.

Addition, 13/6/22: I’m not fussed by folk under 18 years of age following me, whatever, if you’re digging the content That’s Grand. But please curate your own internet experience! It’s not my fault if you don’t like something I reblog - this is my wendyhouse and it’s fucking weird for you to try to tell me what colours I’m not allowed to paint the walls.

Addition, 19/6/24: Please do not send fundraiser/gofundme requests into my inbox. I am actively donating to fundraisers for aid in Gaza that I have independently verfied. My inbox is strictly for silly messages and ask games, and I am uncomfortable with people asking me for money in there. If you send me a request for donations directly in my inbox, I'm going to assume you're a scammer and block/report you. Please remember that to most of you, I'm a stranger on the internet. This includes weird passive-aggressive messages about why I've asked for people not to send me these asks, jesus wept?? ...Aaaaaaand, as of 5/12/24, Asks are officially turned off. Don't know when I'll turn them back on.