#I'm really sad today so i wanted to post some nice nature

[flippinpancakes64]

could you write the cullen's being jealous??

The Cullens being Jealous

Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy this!

Also I mentioned it in my last post but I know not everybody would have seen it because I didn't put as many tags, so I'll say it again.

My requests are open!!!!! Please request, I'm bored :(

Edward:

I feel like he would get jealous pretty easy

Like he can hear everybody's thoughts

He already knows if someone starts expressing interest in you before they can even do anything

But the most he would do in that scenario is maybe keep you a little farther away from that person

You know like moving your seat in class so you're closer to him and farther from them

Walking different ways to class to avoid them

Stuff like that

He wouldn't say anything to you or to them

Now if they act on it?

Completely different story

No matter your gender, physical appearance, race, literally anything, the second you guys start dating everyone knows it

So for someone to know that you guys are dating and still try something?

He is seeing red

It doesn't matter what the other person did

A flirty note, asking you on a date, literally touching your fingers while they hand you something

All of it's the same to Edward

If it wasn't your fault or you weren't reciprocal, it's very likely that you wouldn't even know anything happened

To you, Edward just stepped away for a moment at lunch

But in reality he cornered the poor, stupid person and not-so-nicely told them to never even look at you again or they were gonna be dead

But if he sees something that you did as meaning that you were into it?

The same thing happens to the other person

And he sits down to have a talk with you

Maybe he only heard about what happened and didn't get to read your mind as it was happening

Or maybe he can't read your mind for some reason

Just explain to him that he's the only one for you

And let him read your mind if he can to let him know that you mean it

Overall he's very protective and pretty prone to jealousy

Alice:

I don't really see her as the jealous type

She has that mentality of "they come home with me every night so it doesn't matter what other people do"

Like she's got you already

And she doesn't ever see you cheating

So she's not worried

The only time that she would get jealous is if you show a liking to human nature

AKA anything that she can't give you

If you mention something about someone's hand being so warm or mention having a sleepover with someone she gets a bit jealous

The sad type

It just reminds her that she can't be everything for you

If you're a human it's even worse

She knows that she's cold

She knows she can't sleep

She knows that she'll never be able to enjoy your favorite foods with you

It just hurts to be reminded of it

But she's also not the type to stew in it

She will tell you straight-up if something is bothering her

She won't ask you to never make comments like that ever again

Obviously that's not really something that can be controlled

But she just wants you to know why she's a little more down than usual today

"Oh nothing, I was just reminded that I'm not human"

Please give her so many kisses and tell you that you love her no matter what

Jasper:

I can already tell I'm gonna get carried away

Jasper in my mind 🤝 angst

He gets so jealous

But again it's the sad kind

He's not perfect

He's not human

And he's not good for you

The fact that you agreed to date him at all is still a wonder to him

So he's very sensitive to seeing you with other people at all

He knows that you have friends obviously and that you can't be with him 24/7

But when he sees you and your lab partner laughing and making jokes, when he sees one of your oldest friends leaning way too close, when he finds a note shoved in between your papers, it gets to be too much

It just reminds him of how many better options there are for you

He wouldn't say anything to the person making moves on you

He knows that it would definitely end up in a police report and the Cullens needing to move again

But I feel like he would take some time to talk to you

He would take a while to psych himself up though

Maybe a few practice convos with Alice

And a threat from Rosalie that she is going to take matters into her own hands if he doesn't say anything

He would be very open about what's bothering him

He doesn't like keeping secrets from you

So he would tell you about how he felt seeing the way someone acted with you

The type of emotions they were feeling

And how it was bothering him

He would accept all of your explanations that the person was just a friend, or that you don't feel that way

But I feel like what he would really need is some intense reassurance that you do want to be dating him

And that you love him

Aww so sweet

Rosalie:

Yeah she doesn't get jealous

She's a bad bitch

She's hot

And she knows that you love her

It doesn't matter if some nobody from your highschool starts hitting on you

Because there's no way they have a chance with you

And she knows that

Because guaranteed you are a bad bitch too

The only time that really any reaction would come from her is if somebody physically hits on you and makes you uncomfortable

And it's not jealousy it is full protective rage

Like how dare someone touch her SO and think they can get away with it

A note or two, maybe some longing glances she can get past

But harassing for a date, pressuring you for your number, or even making physical advancements that you are not okay with?

Yeah suddenly they wake up the next day with a broken arm

And she goes full exposé

If they sent you any nudes they are getting leaked to the school

She doesn't play around like that

Fuck around and find out

But she will never be jealous of some losers trying to take what's not theirs

Emmett:

He's also not really one to get jealous

In fact he kinda likes the opportunities

Like if some guy is hitting on you he LOVES being able to sneak up and go

"Babe is this guy bothering you?"

And then the dude just turns around and sees this 6 foot something 300 pounds of pure muscle dude standing there

He loves it

He does get a bit annoyed though

Like if there's one person that keeps sending you notes, asking you on dates, trying to sit next to you in class, he gets frustrated

He offers to beat them up

To get them to leave you alone of course not because it's annoying him

Even if you say not to he's still gonna do it

He's like a 50's gangster waiting in an alleyway for the person to show up

He doesn't physically beat them up

Yet

If the person persists after his "stern talk" their ass gets jumped

And he will always deny it if you ask him

Oh well :)

Esme:

I feel like she might be a bit insecure about being one of the "normal" ones

She doesn't have any special powers

And she didn't have any particularly strong characteristics that manifested themselves when she turned

In her mind she's just a little "blah"

So I feel like she would get jealous easy

But it wouldn't have an opportunity to present itself as much

She wouldn't get jealous over most humans

And since she spends most of her time in the house, she doesn't even get to see you out and about interacting with people all that often

So I feel like the moments in which her jealousy makes itself known would be when other vampires are in the area

Especially if they're vegetarians

And ESPECIALLY if they're gifted

It was her actual waking nightmare when all of the vampires were collected to protect Renesmee

(Not that she really had time to be worrying about that but yk)

The only other time I could see her getting jealous would be if you two were out and about together and someone started hitting on you

And even then she would only tell you about it after the person left

"I can't believe they were flirting with you while I am literally right here" "...are you jealous?" "...no..."

Carlisle:

This is a man who is secure in his relationship

He trusts you completely because he knows that you trust him completely

SO many people flirt with him at the clinic (I don't blame them I would too tbh) (actually no I wouldn't I'm too scared to do that)

He knows that people find him attractive

And he knows that people find you attractive because how could they not

But he has full faith in you

And he is very transparent

He tells you all of his stories from the day when he comes home from work

"This woman came in today with a broken foot, like completely turned around, bone showing and everything. And she still looked at me and asked for my number! And then she passed out..."

He thinks it's funny

Because he would never, not in a million years, even CONSIDER cheating

The only thing would be if you're describing an interaction you had and you don't sound completely put-off by it or if he finds that you kept a note someone gave you that was very clearly flirtatious

He, once again, does not let it stew, though

He directly asks about it

Prying into the details of how you feel about this person and why you talked the way you did/kept the note they gave

I can't imagine anyone cheating on him tho so just tell him the truth that you didn't mean it that way or just forgot to throw the note away

He still fully trusts you tho

Vampire! Bella:

She sort of has the same problem as Esme

In her mind she still thinks of herself as the boring, plain-looking girl who just blended in

She doesn't consider herself to be anything special

So when she sees you talking to someone else, maybe laughing a bit too hard at someone's joke, or even hanging out with someone, she gets super jealous

I am sad to say though that she does immediately jump to conclusions

She gets sad for a bit but then immediately she flies into accusations

Asking you what you were doing with that person, if you want to break up with her, if she's not good enough, if you already cheated on her

It gets a bit exhausting after a while

I feel like this would be a genuine problem

Once she met Edward, she basically left all of her friends

So she has a little bit of a skewed idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like

I mean you can't entirely blame her

Her only other experience with a relationship was complete obsession

So she thinks your relationship should be the same

You just need to tell her that

That most normal people in relationships do actually have friends

She'll get it at some point... maybe

[theshadowrealmitself]

Hey, have you got any Spock/Kirk fic recommendations? I've already read a bunch, but your Vulcan posts are always interesting, I'm sure You've got some good fic recs.

One of my favorite Spirk fics of all time is Observations Part 1/2 by anon-j-anon. It's SO GOOD and well written. It's perfect if you like long fics.

It's basically a running commentary on everything that's happening on the Enterprise, from Spock's POV. It's both hilarious and sad.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43993807/chapters/110614654

I’ve been wanting to make a post like this but I’m so bad at keeping track of fics (seriously, I have no bookmarks, nothing saved, everytime I wanna reread one I just go on the long hunt for it)

So, I went back and found some that I liked (unfortunately couldn’t find all that I really wanted to share, but today’s been a busy day, and if I put this off then this ask will be left to rot in my inbox)

These are all completed fics with developing relationship, these are also not the actual descriptions just my descriptions for them

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241025/chapters/9595551

I’ve already recommended this one on my blog but y’all are gonna hear about it again!! One of my absolute favorite aos fics!! Essentially, Jim is bad at making wishes (but it’s not like the one who’s granting his wishes is making it easy on him), there’s very very mild angst (my heart goes out to him on wish #2), and everything gets wrapped up nicely on the last chapter! Everyone should check out this fic at least once in my opinion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45298468

Kirk finds Spock a man, tos version (there’s an aos fic somewhere with the same concept but it goes very differently, couldn’t find it rn tho)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44864332/chapters/112882420

Love in the form of homemade beverages

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44873377

Kirk fucks Spock Prime, aos Spock takes issue with that (mostly smut with jealousy)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42680841

Spock thinks Kirk’s trying to commit suicide but that’s not what’s actually happening, it’s short but I still love how aos Spock is characterized in this

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41198433

Spock hits his head and thinks he’s a Romulan pirate, it’s an absolute travesty that this is a quick oneshot only

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27563158

Had to end this list with another major favorite of mine, this one’s a tos fic with “foot in mouth” disease in a few failed interviews (finally) leading to a natural conclusion

[tangyangie]

Can I please get some body hair comfort/ headcanons for Mha boys? Specifically for the belly, legs, arms, between the legs, etc.

» no bed of roses... ☆彡

characters: izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari

description: you're insecure about your body hair. how do the mha boys comfort you?

hii and thank you for requesting!! i didn't know who exactly you wanted, so i just put these guys. i would've done more, but i'm tired and i was really busy today :((

» izuku → he's a total sweetheart, and completely understands your feelings. he's had his insecurities too.

"i know how it feels to not like your body. perhaps not this exact situation, but i'm right here, and i'll listen as long as you need me to. i think you're incredibly brave for telling me your feelings."

he would totally give you hugs and snuggles and whatever else you wish for. he would shower you in compliments to make you feel good about your body.

» katsuki → he thinks it's stupid, because he doesn't understand why?? body hair?? is?? bad?? because it's not.

"huh?? who told you that your body hair is something to be insecure about? i'll kill them!!"

perhaps he's a bit direct, but he gets the job done. after he's done interrogating you about this 'person', he will sit down next to you and listen to whatever you want to say about the situation.

» shoto → he rushes to attempt to comfort you as soon as you mention this insecurity.

"you're so beautiful, don't listen to whoever made you think that body hair is something to be ashamed about. it's completely natural. personally, i think you're very, very pretty, no matter what you feel."

he's so nice, and will gently hug you before sitting down with you and encouraging you to spill your feelings to him and comforting you about every single one <33

» eijiro → he thinks you're incredibly cool, and doesn't care about how others feel about your body hair.

"you're so cool! i don't care what other people tell you, you're amazing and beautiful. i will totally out-man them if you ask me to!!"

he's a little confused as to why you're so insecure about it, as he deals with it too. but, he's totally up for comforting you and making you feel happier about your body image!! he will then go and out-man everyone.

» denki → he does his best to cheer you up and make you feel better about yourself and your body.

"you don't need to feel bad about that! it happens to everyone, it's completely natural. whoever made you think that doesn't deserve you."

he'll totally add in some jokes, as he knows you best and knows what will make you laugh and get you out of your sadness. definitely be prepared for some tickles, because he will take any risk to make you happy!

notes: guys please request some genshin 🙏 i'm totally feeling it rn and i'd go completely crazy over some ganyu requests..

anyways i really hope this was up to your expectations!! i think i'm starting to get a better sense of my writing style, so hopefully it won't take as long to start posting consistently!!

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Get To Know My OC Tag!

This'll probably be the first of many since this was sooo much fun to do lol.

I was going to do this with Steph… but I felt more drawn towards El today for some reason. Probably because I've been editing a lot more of her scenes/chapters lately. So Elise, I choose you!

Thank you for tagging me, @gummybugg!

Let's begin!

__________

The door opens, and 18-year-old Elise Kennedy enters the room. She walks with graceful strides that indicates the quiet confidence she holds within her. She is a pretty girl - long wavy blonde hair styled in a messy bun, crystal clear blue eyes sparkling with joy and curiosity (despite being baggy from that high school stress and sleep deprivation), and a bright beaming smile that honestly does a better job of lighting up the room than my terrible cheap lamp does. She appears to be about 5'6, if I'm not wrong.

She extends a hand in greeting, radiating an immediate sense of warmth and sincerity. Her voice, I notice straight away is soft warm and gentle. It carries an undertone enough to put you at ease in an instant. Then she takes her seat.

I know I've only just met her, but she seems nice.

1) Are you named after anyone?

Elise: Uh, no. Not after a person, I don't think. Although, I do know how I got my name. My late grandmother was really into classical music, and she came up with the suggestion of "Elise" for me when I was born because one of her favourite pieces of music was "Für Elise" by Beethoven. When I was little, she actually taught me how to play it on the piano, too! That was a fun time… yeah. But to answer your question, no. Not that I know of.

2) When was the last time you cried?

Elise: I don't know… hmm, let me think. This is actually a deep question when you think about it.

Me: It is??

Elise: Wait! Do you mean, like proper crying? Bawling like a baby? Or do you mean like welling up, but not actually making a sound?

Me: Uh…

Elise: If you mean the first one, then probably last week. I was watching a really sad movie with my brother, and I just couldn't help it. If you mean the second one, then… I don't know. To be honest, it happens on a regular basis. So probably yesterday or something. I try not to be overly emotional all the time, but I'm a sensitive soul, what can I say? (pause) OH! I remember now!

Me: You do?

Elise: It was two weeks ago! Ok, let me explain - I have this friend who really loves music. His name is Bret, and something he likes to do as a hobby is write and produce his own songs, right? And two weeks ago, he sent me an email with a link to his SoundCloud. He posts all his songs there now, its amazing! Anyway, he asked me for feedback on the first song he uploaded on there. So I listened to it, and it made me cry. It was very deep and moving. I loved it… (laughs awkwardly) I feel like my answers are way too long, ha-ha! Sorry about that.

Me: Don't be sorry. This is good!

Elise: I'll send you a link to Bret's SoundCloud! You need to listen to it yourself, so you know what I'm talking about.

Me: Would your friend mind?

Elise: Uh… (pauses for a while to wonder whether or not Bret would actually mind) Probably not?

3) Do you have kids?

Elise: Uh, no. Nor do I want any - at least not right now. I'm still a school kid! (pause) I know I'm 18, so legally I count as an adult, but I still feel like a kid, honestly. And I think that just as a general rule, if you feel like a kid or act like a kid, you probably shouldn't raise a kid.

4) Do you use sarcasm?

Elise: (thinks for a moment, then nods) Yeah. Not as often as some people do, but sometimes it's just necessary, especially when you're dealing with difficult or incompetent people.

5) What's the first thing you notice about people?

Elise: I feel like I'm naturally quite good at reading people, you know? Like, even with people I don't know all that well, I can just look at them and have a good idea of how they're feeling, what their thinking, what they're like. And it's usually pretty accurate, as well. I'm quite intuitive in that sense. I think this is also the reason I connect well with others even if they're very different from me. Like, I'm an introvert, and I'm generally rather quiet and mind my own business most of the time, but quite a lot of my friends are super energetic extroverted people. I think its fun to be curious, you know? Like, taking the time to understand and empathise with a person. You form closer bonds with people that way.

6) What's your eye colour?

Elise: Blue! You see? (opens eyes wide so that I can see their colour)

7) Any special talents?

Elise: Hmm. I don't know if any of my talents count as "special" or anything. I have talents… like, back when I used to perform in my old choir, I was known for being able to hold notes for really, really long. My record back then was like 47 seconds. But it's been years since then, and I probably can't do it anymore. Anything else? (pauses to think for a second) Don't know whether this counts, but I'm really good at memorising things. My brother says I have a memory sharper than a katana… which I think says everything you need to know about him. (laughs) But like, to give an example, I can read a book and basically be able to quote it word for word afterwards. Or watch a show, and be able to recite every line in a given scene. It's quite helpful as a student, actually. Makes the studying process a bit smoother. Not that I don't work hard for my grades, because I do. I don't consider myself to be a mega-super-genius or anything.

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

Elise: Are you kidding me?! Happy ending all the way! I can't sit through a horror movie for the life of me. I hate scary stuff, I just don't like the feeling of terror. I don't get why some people actually like it. I mean some people have to like it, right? There has to be a reason that the horror genre has a market.

9) Where were you born?

Elise: Born and raised in London, baby!

10) What are your hobbies?

Elise: Reading, first of all. I love to read so much. I always have.

Me: What is the book you're reading currently?

Elise: Right now, I'm re-reading "Normal People" by Sally Rooney. It's so good, I highly recommend it. But aside from reading, I like music a lot. Not as much as Bret, but I love to play a bit of piano whenever I have the time, and I also love to sing still. Even though I'm not in my old choir anymore.

Me: Why did you stop if you clearly loved doing it?

Elise: (sighs) It was a toxic environment for me… I needed a break from some of those people. I don't really want to get into it.

Me: Ooookay… (slightly concerned)

11) Do you have any pets?

Elise: No, and I've always wanted one! (pouts) It didn't even matter what it was! My parents aren't about that, though. Ugh! (pause) Maybe in the future, I'll get a puppy. I love dogs so much!

12) What sports do you play/have played?

Elise: None. (laughs) I've never been a sporty person.

13) How tall are you?

Elise: Five foot five. And a bit, depending on what shoes I'm wearing.

14) Favourite subject in school?

Elise: These questions are getting harder… (laughs) I don't know what my favourite subject is. I like all my subjects… I chose four subjects I really enjoy for A level. English Lit, Politics, History and Textiles. I like all of them for different reasons. Even when I struggle with one of them, and it is my least favourite one day, I can't bring myself to hate it… and it ends up being my favourite subject the next day.

Me: Well, tell me why you like all of your subjects.

Elise: Ok! So English Lit is because I love literature, as you may have inferred before from what I said about reading… Politics is because I just find that aspect of the world interesting, you know? I mean, I never used to, but once I started taking this class, I just found it fascinating. Just seeing how that stuff works. History was my strongest subject back when I did my GCSEs, so I was like "I have to do it again next year!" And Textiles… I don't know, I just find it peaceful. It's a chill subject to balance out the crazy intense ones. (laughs again)

15) Dream job?

Elise: In my dreams, I have all kinds of different jobs. Just last night I had a dream that I was this therapist, right, and all of my friends from work were coming into my office to ask for help with their love lives, despite the fact that I literally have no dating experience and am therefore the least qualified person to ask for help in that department. Man… why would you even go to your therapist just to ask about your love life anyway? Is that the only thing in your life that's bothering you?! The ONLY thing?!

Me: …That's not what I meant.

Elise: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk about my weird dream for a second. I don't know what my dream job is. As a child, my dream job was to be an author, like Cressida Cowell. I used to love her books growing up. I wanted to write just like her… create this huge epic fantasy series… have that series get turned into movies… but I couldn't come up with any original ideas. So I gave up.

Me: Awww…

Elise: Oh, it's okay. I still write a bit sometimes for fun. But in terms of an actual career, I'm stuck between two things - a lawyer, and a journalist.

Me: Two completely different things.

Elise: Yep. Lawyer because it's something I've been working towards all my life, pretty much. I mainly did it because my parents always said that it's a promising career to have. But journalism is just so fascinating to me. It's like being a writer, except you don't need to come up with original ideas. Plus, you get to explore the world, discover exciting new people and places and cultures and events… and tell stories that don't often get heard. It's like the career was made for me!

Me: It does, doesn't it? Well, I'm sure you'll make the right choice for yourself. Thanks for coming, Elise. This has been fun.

Elise: Of course! Thank you for having me.

END OF INTERVIEW.

__________

This was so much fun! I want to make this an open tag, but I'll just tag these three people to give it a go as well:

@rubywrite

@soph1333

@winterandwords

[eclaisse]

Back to this account!!

Happy New Year!!

I figured I would try and blog again this year after taking a long time away from writing. Honestly, college writing assignments were tedious to get through and maybe that's what killed the joy of writing for me. I burned out quite a bit. I remember coming home after graduating university and playing Stardew Valley for over a month straight? I didn't want to do anything besides lie in bed and play games, it was a really bad time. :'D

Over the past decade I:

Got into a university full of nature that was also far away from home!! It healed me quite a bit ;w;

Got my first job in the industry and mostly did mindless labor

Worked through the pandemic while streaming on the side

Obtained a certification after taking some classes (as much as I didn't want to)

Resigned from the first job after getting the entire floor to quit, since management was treating us all very poorly

Got my first corporate job!!

Struggled with corporate politics and navigated through the startup environment

Moved out to start life in a new city, enjoying new freedoms along with the added responsibilities of being on my own

Solidified my longstanding friendships while making new ones!!

I look back on my old posts on here from almost 10 years ago and jeez, baby Zari was a mess ahaha :'D I'm pretty proud of who I am now and how far I've made it. It took a lot of work and effort to get to where I am today, and most of it was a mental struggle instead of a physical one. I think of all the days and nights I would spend overthinking, in a state of constant anxiety. How my body physically manifested that stress and how the environment only made it worse. It's good to be free and alive!! These days I still have days where I feel sad, but they are far outweighed by how happy I feel. I'm doing a lot better. :)

I want to continue writing about my adventures, now that I've mostly recovered from everything that was troubling me before. Over the years I've become more well rounded, emotionally intelligent, and more organized as a person. So I look forward to documenting things!! My writing feels pretty clunky right now, but I only hope to get better. Here's to a nice 2024!!

[garutonaagent]

Maika Fantasia - Chapter 2: C'mon C'mon (1 of 5)

(Note/Disclaimer: Using ���Bubble Translator” and making slight tweaks in case of broken English, here is a very loose translation! Due to photo limitations per post, only screenshots of specific moments will be present; otherwise, it’s dialogue translated via text-only)

Chapters: Prologue: Part 1 / Part 2(&3) Chapter 1: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 2: Part 1 (you are here!) / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 3: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 4: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 5: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 6: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 7: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 8: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Location: Arberite mansion

Violet: (Why......)

Violet: Why...did I fail?

Violet: (I didn't take it on a whim, I worked really hard to pass it, but...why didn't I make it?)

Violet: (I wanted to become an idol, and I worked hard with all my heart. My efforts had to have been perfect. Even in the actual performance, I was able to complete it without getting nervous!)

R: That was unexpected, Miss Violet...

Violet: ...unexpected indeed. I'm still not able to understand why this happened, I can't even properly reflect on it.

R: Hmm, I could try running some calculations.

Violet: Could you do that for me?

R: ...of course.

R: ...

R: Well, the reason why the young lady failed the Maika Fantasia audition is because...

Violet: Because...?

R: e r r o r

Violet: What!?

R: Appearance, singing, dancing, talking - the young lady's performance was excellent in all aspects.

R: So...there may be some reason why my computing power as an android doesn't allow me to analyze it.

Violet: ...I see, well, I understand what you're saying, but I can't understand the reasoning behind it.

Violet: (As the next head of the Arberite family, I've been trained to do everything I can to conquer obstacles, and I've responded perfectly to everything...)

Violet: (...but...)

Violet: It's ironic that the first dream I ever had didn't go well...

R: Young lady...

[sound of doors opening]

Violet: Wh--!? Not you two...!

Cousin: Wow--! Violete-chan flopped--!?

Cousin 2: Flopped, flopped--! ...hey, what was it that you flopped at?

Cousin: Swimming in a pond (1)?

R: My my (2), little ladies! You are doing very well today too...

Violet: Ooh, my god...! I can't stand being sad!

Violet: I'm going out for fun!

R: Oh? Where to?

Violet: To Margaret's! Call for Lyria for me, please!

Location: inside the car

Lyria: Hey young lady~, aren't you being just a lil' rough with people today? It's my day off.

Violet: Weren't you just going for a drive anyway? It wouldn't hurt to take me to Margaret's.

Lyria: Yeah yeah... well, guess I should listen to what my employer says, even though I suck at driving!

Violet: (Margaret...word of mouth is that my childhood friend also failed the exam. Is there something we have in common? I hope that'll make me reflect...)

Lyria: ...*sigh*...

Lyria: Young lady, don't stay up too late, okay? It's dangerous and...it's for the sake of public safety.

Violet: Dully noted...

Location: Margaret's house

Margaret: I'm really in trouble, aren't I~...?

Margaret: I was hoping that, gosh...I thought this would help rebuild my wealthy family~...

Violet: Wasn't it your dream to perform as a Maika idol to rebuild your home?

Margaret: Well~...restoring the house and becoming a dancer are both dreams of mine~...

Violet: Well...yes, I see.

??? (Riddhe): Wo~ow....this is great! Awesome!

Violet: ...

???: Ooh, even better! Nice! The current head of the Arberite family and the former head of the Walpurgis family are having tea together!

Violet: Hey.

???: Ack, oh no, d--don't look this way! They like it when the shots are natural!

???: There we go! Nice~ nice~, now it looks great~!

Violet: Oooh my god--! That's enough!

Violet: Who is this person!?

Margaret: Lemme see...this is...Riddhe Chanpertier, a girl I recently became friends with~!

Riddhe: I'm Riddhe-cha~n! Nice to meet'cha~♪

Violet: Don't you "nice to meet'cha~" me!

Riddhe: Ooh, even your angry face looks great, heh!

Violet: That's because--...

Violet: STOP TAKING PICTUUUURES!!!

/////

1 = Cousin 1 simply said "ikechi" (Cousin: 池--) before getting interrupted. I'm not sure if they were going to say anything else or if that's all they were going to say, but rather than leaving it blank or simply saying "ikechi", I tried putting, well, something there ;;

2 = R went "ara, ara" in the original text, and I just needed to put that out there

[hisui-cotton]

Hello! Today's Note is about an anime! One that took me by surprise as I had expected...well I'll talk about it down below. But it really made me feel interested in watching some more anime in a time I was feeling not too crazy about doing so anymore. Which is you know sounds like a lot but it's really something that I contemplate whenever a new isekai comes out. I'm mostly kidding...

But this is a real post about what I found made Apothacary Diaries well worth the watch and hope that you check it out too.

As a historical fiction I love that apothecary diaries feels like something more than just a drama-comedy. It feels a lot like a good shojou manga does. There's good humor, there's some tense moments between characters and there's also a bit of really nice overall storytelling. It in some ways reminds me of Ouran. Where there's just this really nice progression introducing you to all the characters and the pacing between humor and drama is really nicely done and flows in a fairly natural progression. It never feels too forced into the next change of atmosphere. My favorite example of this is probably in episode 4, where not even a whole scene away from when we get some funny expressions from Lady Lihua's ladies in waiting, we also get a super dramatic scene of Maomao chastising them. There's this sense of momentum and change that is brought all the time and even when tensions feel high it doesn't deflate just because there is some humor mixed in. I've noticed this kind of slow in the later episodes but a part of that feels like it's as a result of the climax arriving rather than various directorial issues that usually plague most adaptations.

The story is fairly blunt with the darker topics at times and is definitely interested in being able to present those topics without judgement. It's a story literally about an apothecary who works as a lady in waiting to the concubines of the emperor. The way the characters and story don't shy around certain topics reminds me a lot actually of the way a lot of shojou used to have really sad or dark themes for their cheerful characters to explain how they got to how they were. Mao Mao embodies this a little differently than those characters did but still has those aspects. That's probably why I make the Ouran comparison actually, not because the stories are at all similar but because the characters and storytelling feels familiar. Maomao reminds me a lot of Haru, where both are very a matter of fact in the way they talk about stuff and of their situations. There are things they are genuinely interested in and when it comes to those things they work hard to have time or (in haru's case) be able to afford those things.

Now this isn't to say you should just watch Ouran if you want to watch Apothacary. It's a very different story and is much snappier than Ouran even at times. If you like the elements of Ouran's storytelling, and are wanting a strong, but not literally strong, female protagonist, I'd really recommend Apothecary! Honestly I was not planning on watching it. Even when a lot of the stuff going around of it was really good looking, I was worried that the hype for it was over blown. That somehow there was one really good scene like 5 or 6 episodes in, but that the rest of it would be kind of meh. Most people recommend shows being like “just wait till episode X, then it gets really good” but Apothacary got me from the start. It was so good and in many ways, I just want more. I've even considered picking up the light novel over the manga to see how much I can see of the anime in the light novel. I've gotten one other light novel recently and it really reads like an anime. The characters attitudes and reactions feel very anime even without the animations to go with it. So I'm rather curious to see how something so popular feels to read compared to watch. The only reason I don't want to check the manga as well is becuase I've considered that I need to give some written stories another go and light novels feel like they're just similar enough in genre to be that for me.

Now I'm gonna talk about a couple of the finer details like story or animation, so if you don't want spoilers that's all I've got for you. Just know it's great, it's worth the watch and it won't waste your time!

So the thing that sort if hooked me from the start of the story is Maomao. As she says by the end of the episode, her sense of justice is what brings her to act as she does. I think in a lot of ways this makes her both very outspoken but she also knows how to hold back, or more specifically ‘when’. Being as the show is a capturing of her diary, a lot of her thoughts and actions are explained as they happen or as she thought them through. That said there's no like…writing in the diary. I almost forgot that was what the show was about until several episodes in what a date change and the seasons turned. It felt like a noting of small events that happened. It didn't break my feeling of immersion though, rather it felt nice to be invested enough to simply go with the flow that the show naturally established.

Everything is generally told from Maomao's perspective, there are a few times other characters get to be the focus for dramatics but Maomao's thoughts push through a lot of the events that occur and hold the most attention. This also allows us the chance to see some of her memories in a way she'd naturally remember them. Sometimes it's just the quick thought of a time someone told her something, like when the women of the brothel told her about things men enjoy and she shared that with Lihue. The way she remembers it has this hard set incomplete underlighting, and there's this sense of a nice bit of tactile memory of the girls playing with her hair while having the conversation. The show also makes great use of lighting by the way. That scene I mentioned looks like that because of the way the lighting plays off everything compared to the cut just before of her in the well lit pavilion. There are other times where characters are illuminated in a manner that feels dramatic and yet more real for it. The lighting in episode 3, where a concubine catches qualities of sleep walking, is a perfect example of what I mean. There's really great backlighting when Concubine Fuyou is dancing across the wall, when she's leaving and finally when she and her lover are together. There's excellent blues at night that feel cold yet beautiful and then harsh lightings in tense times and soft blowouts of light in others. It’s one of those bits of animation you tend not to notice if it’s not totally outstanding or adding something deeper to the atmosphere.

Out of all 11 episodes out at this time, I’d say this 11th is the only one that felt a little disappointing. It felt story rushed and like we didn’t get to really know Ah-Doh the way we did a lot of the other concubines, even if it was second hand in most cases. She gets a little conversation by the end but is likly not to be seen beyond this (I assume as I haven’t seen the manga nor light novel) so it doesn’t feel as powerful as it could have. The way others talk about her is still impressive, it just hasn’t given the feeling that she got to share herself as much as she could have. By that I mean we hear about Ah-Dou from everyone else and when she gets a chance to talk to Maomao, we learn just enough about to start feeling like we understand why those around her are so in love with her as a person. Certain aspects hinted at make me feel like it’s not the only time we’ll see her again but it’s just as likely, as i said, that she could never be seen again due to the nature of writing and development at times. Sometimes a character can only exist for a portion of the plot in order to introduce the main character to a different aspect of the story and it’s sad that is what Ah-Dou felt like. What they did give her wasn’t bad though and although the episode feels rushed to resolve the plot, it’s still highly emotional.

Those are the few things I really wanted to make significant note of with detail of spoilery parts. I think if you’re thinking it’s just a historical romance, you’re not giving it enough credit. Theres is some really wonderful character writing, humor, and drama wrapped up in Apothacary Diaries and the anime has done a great job making me realize that. So I really wish you the best in starting the show if you do. Sorry I don’t have a way to wrap this up more that saying, “yeah it’s great and pretty check it out” but thats really all I’ve got! It’s a show that seems to speak for itself.

[theluxuriansecret]

Dear Diary 02152023

11:14 am

Today I came to class early, unexpectedly, because my professor had to handle something urgent or some shit. But I was able to get some food in me and a parking spot in the close lot so today isn't starting off bad at all.

This week I finally got a response to the on campus job that I've been wanting and I am so excited. I am so proud of myself and it really feels like everything is falling into place. So I want to thank myself for not giving up.

The second thing thats kinda weighing heavily on my chest is yesterday was Valentines day and it was my first valentine's day single in a very, very, long time. Tuesdays are usually my day off so I had this whole me day planned for me because I had no plan on sitting in my house and sulking. I am confidently lost, and I don't need anyone to find me. I went and got my nails and toes done and then I got my favorite dinner to treat myself on earning that new job. I was invited out to a galentines and instead of sulking, like I had begun to do, I agreed to go. The vibes were great, the energy was wonderful, being surrounded by people that love me is nice. I enjoyed myself. It all comes crashing down when one of my super bratty friends basically goes off talking about how we're all fake and she's been wanting to do a galentines, mind you she's out with her new man, posting him on the gram, bragging about him in the gc. And the rest of us are sad LMAOASJOS like, we were trying our best to stay in good spirit but when you're already feeling lonely on the day of love you feel kinda bitter; naturally.

All he attempts to be petty and passive I just ignored. One thing im 100% NOT is a bad friend so if she wants to be bratty and annoying im just gonna let her. She saw that I read that message at 6 am and I was not starting my day with an argument. Tbh, this friend has been getting under my skin for a hot minute and I'm so over her escalating every situation because something didn't go her way. She's argumentative and immature as hell, and she could say she wants the situation addressed, and I get it but theres just a certain way you go about things. She takes it so far and even becomes insulting and I just can't rock with someone like that. She needs a reality check and to grow up.

I cant wait to go home, shower and go to bed holy fuck im so tired.

[tiphansia]

Stupid rant lol

It sucks how sometimes supposed acts of allyship hurt someone you're trying to be an ally to. These days more and more people are defaulting to they/them when they're unsure of a person's gender. Which, cool yay whatever. But whenever someone calls me they or them no matter the reason it makes me incredibly angry, profoundly sad, bitter, etc just generally not good at all. People often they/them me online especially in "progressive" spaces and it sucks so much. I know I know utilitarianism dictates it and all that but it just really sucks. There's nothing that can be done either unless everyone went back to using he as the default, which I would like but it would suck for a lot of people so I can't in good conscience wish that. My solution is to act in such a way and present myself in such a way that people assume he/him, because it relieves me from having to outright state my pronouns which I hate to do (and it would also make me so suspicious, I don't like people to know or think I'm trans). I've been in a discord server with someone for months, he knows me we interact daily and I thought he correctly assumed he/him for me through my whole online presentation as he'd gendered me correctly before. But today we were in a voice channel with some other people and he started to use he for me, then quickly said "they, I shouldn't assume". Instant horrible feeling. I can only use the nomic channel to communicate back because for obvious reasons I can't speak, I quickly wrote "it's he fyi :/" but I think I made it worse for myself because my directly stating my pronouns I've just made myself suspicious. What cis person says their pronouns like that. It's so upsetting because anything I say about it will just make things worse so I have to man up and not say anything but it's in my nature to keep talking until things seem "fixed" so it's hard to say nothing haha. And later on someone was saying how dumb these new pronouns are, why can't people use they/them and he was a bro said all the right stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I can't speak because otherwise I would've had to publicly agree with the other person in order to preserve my image and help people make the correct assumptions about me. I guess part of why I hate they/them used on me is because it very clearly tells me this person thinks I'm fucking weird. It reminds me of this post I rbed a few days ago about how asking for someone's pronouns in public seems like "allyship" but it just makes the person feel targeted. It's kind of like that. It's not like I'm a new server member that no one really knows well yet, I've been a core member for months. And yet I'm the only one that this person "didn't want to assume gender" for. Like thanks EVER so much. This is such a stupid rant I'm just so tired of it all. I try so incredibly hard to maintain my image so people assume correctly. Someone in that server called me "unmasculine" once so I asked him why and he said it was because I'm too nice so I've been acting meaner and less considerate and it still doesn't work because sometimes I crack and ask people if they're okay or express sympathy or insecurity or show emotions or reveal that I care what people think and it's all for nothing. Yeah I know it's messed up I don't care. I hate that it feels like it's for nothing. People will always see me as feminine no matter how hard I try. Fuck you. And you know what there's this girl in the server and for the longest time very few people believed her because she has this masculine aura I guess so everyone thought she was trolling. And I was the one being like "guys she's a girl lmao" because I could sense she was uncomfortable saying it herself until finally she was able to say it herself and then people used she/her for her. Even the ally guy refused to believe me until she finally said it herself. I'd give so much to be able to swap places with her lmao. Ugh whatever this is stupid. I wish I could stop caring but I've never been able to not care about anything.

[drac-onion]

(It doesn't really matter, but if I weren't me and I read this, I would want to at least see a little bit of closure. You're so nosy! Er, I'm so nosy.)

Things are fine. I was worrying (not necessarily unwarranted), but things ended up being fine. That's all. What a pal.

Oh I've also been kicking myself today because I realized that I forgot to mention my beta reader when I post about new chapters being uploaded. I really appreciate all their hard work, and you should go give them a follow. @makomaki5

As for when the writing in mention will be uploaded...who knows? It's all signed off on and approved by my beta reader, but I think I want to sit on it for a little while in case I think of some other things I would like to add. As much as I can go back and add things to it, or even add chapters. I think if I get into the mindset of always being able to go back and add on to works I've posted, I would never get anything new done. It's a concept I considered approaching for more characters, but I want to keep things strictly in character as much as possible, with some slight deviation by reading deeper into the way they act and present themselves to the outside world.

Also, I feel like you would want to strike some kind of balance of hurt and comfort as to not be a total bummer. The thing is, I'm basing (not directly trying to use characters as an analog for myself, consider basing like...how some movies are "based" on a true story or some such) a lot of what I wrote on my real thoughts and experiences. As sad as it is to say...sometimes you don't get the comfort part. Sometimes you just have to push forward, and that sucks. I want to provide some hope if I can, and well, using the tools to my disposal just makes certain moments feel right to include. You'll know what I mean when I post it, I think...

Anyway, enough of being a bummer. I kinda wanna use this page as an outlet for headcanon and other writing ideas, after seeing some other people do that. It just brings me such joy to see the way people think and perceive things about characters.

@hobie-doh made a post about hc-ing (headcanoning?) Akira as being one to sing or hum a lot. I encourage you to read it, because it is fascinating to think about, and I don't think I could do it justice in a brief summary. It's short, it'll take you like two minutes to read. Come ooooon, do it for me?

I want to be able to speak freely like this about things I think about. Sure, part of me is paranoid about giving away moments in things I will eventually write, but I feel like that's okay. Seeing ideas form and eventually turn into larger concepts and stories with outside input is a great way for ideas to turn into stories, naturally. It's like two-way brainstorming.

Anyway, that's a ramble and a half. Thanks for reading, if you did. I like how Tumblr allows for longform writing, and since I barely have anyone following me, I feel more comfortable about speaking my mind.

Also I had a chill birthday. It was nice. Gonna pre order some games for myself when I get paid next week. The best presents are the ones you gift yourself.

BRB letting the intrusive thoughts win (also happy birthday to me i guess????)

Fear not, I'll properly tag anything that could be too extreme. Don't worry.

It's uh, all a bit extreme. Sorry! I'll try not to make this a habit...

Beneath Their Masks is continuing on schedule (somewhat), but don't be surprised if I do some other stuff in the meantime. Just haven't been in a really fluff-y mood this week. Sorry.

[deactivatedxq83]

Some of my favorite photos from a camping trip in Ohanapecosh.

Near Mt. Rainier, WA

[i-am-very-not-aight]

Eiji Okumura is chaotic and a little shit and no one can convince me other wise. Also very sad. This is a very prevalent theme in all of my posts.

So here's some incorrect quotes

Eiji: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

~

Eiji: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

~

Eiji: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~

Eiji: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

~

Eiji: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

~

Eiji: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

~

Eiji: I made tea.

Ash: I don’t want tea.

Eiji: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ash: Then why are you telling me?

Eiji: It is a conversation starter.

Ash: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Eiji: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Eiji: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

~

Eiji: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

~

Eiji: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. As long as it isn't Ash.

~

Eiji, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

~

Eiji: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Eiji: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

~

Eiji: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

~

Eiji: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read!

~

Eiji, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

~

Eiji: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Ash: What's that?

Eiji: Remorse code.

Ash: I'm even angrier now.

~

Eiji: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

~

Eiji: I think my guardian angel drinks.

~

Eiji: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

~

Eiji: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

~

Eiji: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

~

Eiji: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

~

Eiji: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

~

Eiji: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

~

Eiji: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

~

Eiji: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

~

Eiji: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

~

That's it, Eiji being a chaotic bastard is my favourite thing and some of y'all really need to embrace it.

[reallydumbdannyphantomaus]

Switch

hey!!! so i'm posting a day earlier than i said i would. really, i'm just impatient by nature. kwan's, uh, struggling in this one. (ao3) (masterpost)

Part 2 Chapter 6

Kwan didn’t mean to ignore Danny. It’s just that Danny seemed to want this to be about him and it wasn’t. Just like Mom since the news came out, Danny was pushing and pushing for him to talk about it. Tyson dying had nothing to do with him. He didn’t need comfort or whatever. He wasn’t avoiding Danny, he was avoiding the awkwardness of Danny trying to soothe him.

Okay, maybe he was avoiding Danny.

Kwan didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t sad right now, but talking about it would make him miserable. The assembly was unbearable; all that emotion and eulogy nonsense—it’s like they were trying to make him cry. He wasn’t even friends with Tyson anymore. He had no business crying over him. Putting in his headphones, he listened to a football podcast instead.

The gym doors swung closed behind him and he headed the throng of students moving toward the classrooms. Pete Prisco was theorizing that the Patriots would be back on top of their division by the end of the month; Jason LaCanfora called him an idiot. Kwan hoped LaCanfora was right; Dash was always a huge Patriots fan.

Maybe he should get his own team. The Dolphins? No, if he picks a rival of the Patriots to spite Dash that’s still making the decision about Dash. Maybe the Bengals? No, their uniforms were ugly. The Panthers? Did he want to watch a whole team just for Christian McCaffrey?

This bore thinking about. Way more thinking about than being sad.

As he was mulling on the merits of becoming a Colts fan (pros: Indianapolis is close enough that he could maybe go to some games; cons: they suck), he bumped into someone as he tried to push through the door of his Creative Writing class.

“Watch it,” he said without looking.

The person scoffed. “You bumped into me, dick.”

Normally, turning to see Sam Manson, hands on hips and glaring at him, would’ve caused his heart to stutter in anxiety. Today, though, Kwan just felt exhausted. His shoulders slumped and the straps of his backpack slipped down.

“Whatever,” he said. He fixed his eyes back on the floor and shuffled toward his desk, dropping his bag to the floor with a thunk.

Manson frowned at him. “Are you… okay?”

Jesus. Why did everyone keep asking him that? Manson didn’t even like him.

Kwan rolled his eyes and said, “If I’m ever not, I’ll make sure you’re the first I call.”

“Tell me something: do you have to try to be such a dick, or does it come naturally.”

“You already called me a dick ten seconds ago. Get some new material, Manson.” Kwan put his head in his arms. “And go to your own desk.”

The thing was: Kwan knew he was being a jerk. He knew that Manson was actually trying to be nice to him. It’s just that anyone being nice to him right now felt kind of like swallowing glass, felt like reaching into his stomach with a red hot poker and swirling it around. They should save their niceness for Tyson’s older brother, for his father and mother, even for Dash and Valerie.

Kwan wasn’t even friends with him anymore.

“You know, you already stole my best friend. You could at least act like a person to me.”

“Danny’s his own person. He makes his own choices.”

“You know what I mean.” Manson moved like she was going to sit down, then stopped and turned back. “Is he… is he doing alright?”

Kwan blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s okay.”

“Because I know he wasn’t doing so great earlier, and I’m sure our fight didn’t help, and Tucker said—I just, he’s okay, right?”

Kwan met her eyes for the first time. “He will be. And—and he’ll come to you when he’s ready. Promise.”

Manson bit her lip, nodded once, and finally, finally sat down. Kwan turned his attention to his desk, scribbling on a sheet of paper.

He was only vaguely aware when Ms. Suarez closed the door and began class. He doodled in the margins of his notebook as Ms. Suarez discussed the concept of ekphrasis and the ekphrastic poem. Normally, this was the only class he could focus on, but today, he couldn’t hear anything over the buzzing in his head.

He moved through the rest of his classes the same way. Like he was wading in the ocean, struggling against the waves for each step forward. He ate lunch in the library. He stared out the window in English. His notebook was covered with little pictures of the ectopus and the robot ghost even though looking at them made him kind of queasy.

—

He barely noticed when Danny split off from him after school, going to his own house instead of Kwan’s, and he walked the rest of the way home alone.

He walked in, said hello to Mom, ignoring her questions as he slipped into his room. He kept his answers monosyllabic through dinner, picked at his food, then excused himself and collapsed in bed.

The next day, he kept to himself again. Danny kept trying to talk to him, but he avoided him in the hallways. He was just tired of people being worried. He just wanted to be left alone.

He ate lunch in the library, again. Didn’t look at Danny. Didn’t wait for Danny after class, instead jogged out of the school and home before Danny could said one word to him.

“No Danny again today?” Mom said as he walked in the door.

“No.” He dropped his bag on the floor and moved toward his room, avoiding his mother’s eyes as best he could. He just had to get out of here before—

“Honey,” Mom said, “are you alright?”

Before that.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine.”

“You are not.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to tell me how I feel?” Something hot and ugly was bubbling in his chest, ready to burst out. He was so sick of this, of having to deal with everyone’s concern for no reason.

“I don’t know how you feel, but I’d wager that ‘fine’ doesn’t factor in.”

“Well, I’d feel better if people would stop bothering me and leave me alone.”

“Kwan.”

“What?”

“Do you want to have this conversation now or later?”

“I don’t want to have this conversation at all. And I don’t need it, either.”

Mom held up her hands in retreat. “Okay! Okay. I’ll table this conversation for the rest of the day, if you do just one thing for me.”

Kwan groaned, setting his bag on the floor. When Mom got an idea in her head, she was impossible to talk out of it. If it wasn’t today, sometime soon he was going to have to sit down and talk about his feelings with her because she’d decided that he had to be sad about what happened.

Well, it was sad. Just not sad for him in particular. Sad for Tyson.

Still, he’d take his one day reprieve. Maybe she’d forget in the meantime.

(She would not forget. He knew she would not forget.)

“Would you come with me to the park? I think we could both use some sun and fresh air.”

Kwan rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

The walk to the park was short, filled with Mom’s idle chatter about her day, about the patients she saw, about her frustration with one particular nurse who couldn’t seem to figure out how to put in an IV (“I know she’s new, but she’s been new for about six months now and she ought to have learned something in that time”). It was nice, not to have to react beyond a considering hmm.

Mom led him to a park bench that had been warmed in the sun all day. The air was cool, but not chilly. In the sun, it was nearly warm enough to take off his jacket. Mom stopped talking, instead taking the spot next to him and grabbing his hand.

Just sitting on the bench, Kwan could feel the gentle, low warmth of the late autumn sun hit his face. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, ignoring the nip of the wind at his chin and ears and focusing on the energy of the sun.

Of course, it couldn’t last.

“It’s okay to grieve, hon. Even if you weren’t friends anymore.”

“Cool,” he said, keeping his eyes closed.

“I know he wasn’t your best friend, not like Dash, but you invited him to your birthday party last year. You made him cupcakes when he made the football team. You loved him. That doesn’t go away after a month.”

“I thought you said we weren’t going to talk about this.”

“I’m just worried about you. This isn’t something you should ignore.”

“There’s nothing to ignore!”

Mom buried her face in her hands. “I’m not a therapist, baby, I don’t know the right words to say. I just know you’re hurting and I want to help.”

“Why don’t you try helping me by listening to what I’m actually saying, not what you’ve decided is wrong with me?”

Whatever Mom was going to say, she was cut off as people started to scream. To the side, he saw a sickening green glow. Another one, then. He was almost grateful; at least it got him out of this conversation.

“We need to go,” Mom said, reaching into her bag. “I will call the Fentons myself, and then we’re leaving.”

The glow was getting closer. “Uh, Mom?”

Mom turned just as the ghost (some kind of green panther? Except, no, it just shapeshifted into a giant wasp. Great) crested the hill into their line of sight. “Now!” she said. She grabbed Kwan’s hand and pulled.

Kwan stood, still feeling sluggish from the day's events, and turned to follow. This was why he didn’t notice as the shapeshifting ghost flew directly at him, turning into a gorilla just as it landed on him.

“Kwan!” his mother screamed as he felt one of his ribs snap. Or maybe he was screaming. How had Danny put up with this so well? It felt like his torso was on fire.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her holding the stupid Fenton thermos, shaking like a leaf everywhere except her ever-steady hands. She fired it at the gorilla on his chest, but the gorilla batted it away like it was nothing.

“Another kid, too!” the ghost said. “She’ll be so happy with me for this one.” Then it lowered its fangs to Kwan’s throat.

Kwan had heard that your life flashed before your eyes when you were about to die. He didn’t know if that was true for other people, but the only thing in his head as his death approached was a prayer he couldn’t speak: oh no, don’t let my mom watch me die.

And maybe he should take up religion, because the godawful, unrelenting pressure on his chest suddenly vanished.

“Kwan! Kwan, baby, are you alright? Can you speak?” And his mom was there, gently cradling his head in her lap, holding him at an angle so that he could just barely see the shape of Danny, in his ghost form, brawling with the other ghost, now in the shape of a bear.

(Of course it wasn’t a god. Of course it was Danny.)

“If you can’t speak, then could you blink for me? Once for yes, twice for no.”

“I can—” he coughed and his ribs burned “—I can talk. I’m okay.”

Mom laughed. “I don’t think any of us are okay right now, but I’m so, so happy you’re alive.”

Tears pricked at Kwan’s eyes. “Yeah,” he said, voice wobbling, “I’m happy I’m alive, too.”

He passed out.

—

“Is he okay?”

Kwan bumbled back into awareness like swimming through so much molasses. He could hear the world around him, someone (Danny?) talking, but he hadn’t quite found his way back to the place where he could open his eyes or move his mouth.

“He’ll be fine.” That was Mom. She sounded so tired. He should let her know that he’s awake.

Once his mouth works again.

“I owe you an apology.”

“You don’t have to—"

“I do. You were right.” Mom sighed. Something was beeping in the background, making it harder to hear the next thing she said. “I just… I couldn’t let you put yourself in danger like that. Except I could, it turns out, to save Kwan.”

“Hey, I came out of it fine this time!”

“I know. But you won’t always.”

“… I know.”

“I don’t know what the answer is. But if you hadn’t been there, then Kwan would’ve died. I was useless. Your parents didn’t get there until the ghost was already gone. You came from halfway across town and got there just in time.”

“Maybe there’s a compromise.”

A shaky laugh. “A compromise, huh?”

“Yeah. Maybe… maybe I can just fight until we figure out something else. Just until my parents finish their exoskeleton or the government becomes aware of ghosts and can do something about it.”

“A stopgap.”

“Yeah.”

Mom sighed again. “I can’t believe I’m compromising on having a child fight deadly ghosts.”

“Sorry?”

“Not your fault. Just what it is.”

Before Kwan could breach the surface, a wave crashed down and dragged him back under.

—

“I thought getting injured was my thing,” Danny said when Kwan finally opened his eyes.

Kwan dragged his lips into a smile. “You can take it back, dude. Tried it. Didn’t like it.”

He was in a hospital room; he had fuzzy memories of waking up once before, but the specifics of the encounter eluded his sleep-addled mind. Danny and Mom were there, he was sure.

Danny chuckled. “Your mom’s getting you checked out,” he said. “The doctor was ready to let you go a while ago, but you took your sweet time waking up. Apparently, your body needed the sleep.”

Kwan flushed. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours at a time since the mall attack. He hoped Mom didn’t put it together; she’d use it as another excuse to pester him about Tyson.

Danny’s hands were on the bed, fiddling with his hospital blanket. The silence stretched on for a long moment.

“What?”

“What?”

“You look like you want to say something.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Danny’s eyes shifted down to Kwan’s feet. “I just—are we good? You’ve been avoiding me for a couple days.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean—I just wanted to be left alone for a little bit, there. Mom keeps trying to get me to—talk about feelings, or whatever. I’m just sick of it is all.”

“Is there… something to talk about?”

“No! Fuck!” Kwan slammed his head against the back of the hospital bed, ignoring the dull twinge of his side. “Not you too.”

Danny held up his hands in surrender. “Okay! Just asking.”

Kwan sighed. “I know. I know. I’m just… really, really sick of it.”

“Okay. I won’t ask again. Promise.” Danny held out his pinky.

Kwan laughed and shook his head. “You’re still such a dork.” But he wrapped his pinky around Danny’s, and felt something warm and glowing in his chest.

—

“So,” the man in the white suit said, “your injuries came from… a wild gorilla? In Indiana?”

“Maybe it escaped from the zoo,” Kwan said, scratching at the bandages on his chest. Mom nudged his hand away. “How should I know?”

The man had introduced himself as “Agent O” and said he had some questions to ask about Kwan’s attack. Mom hadn’t wanted to let him through the door, but he’d pushed his way through anyway and when she told him to leave, he rested his hand on the gun at his hip. Mom closed her mouth with an audible click. 

Kwan had spent the last ten hours since being released from the hospital propped up on the couch, still woozy from whatever drugs they’d given him. He wasn’t sure if it was because of this haziness or not, but he couldn’t figure out why a government suit was so interested in an animal attack.

“Hm,” Agent O said. He scribbled something in his notebook. “And what color was the gorilla?”

Well, the gorilla had been green. And not always a gorilla. But he shouldn’t say that, right? 

“I was… more focused on it trying to kill me.” Yeah. That could work.

“Really? You didn’t notice the color at all? Nothing about its appearance stuck out to you?”

Who was this guy?

“That’s what he said,” Mom said before Kwan could try to put together a sentence. “Now, who did you say you worked for?”

Agent O pursed his lips and stood up. “Thank you for your… cooperation. We’ll be in touch.”

Mom’s eyes narrowed. “Get out of my house.”

“Of course. Mrs. Huang. Mr. Huang.”

And the agent left, closing the door with a soft click.

A moment passed. Mom picked up one of the spare throw pillows lying in the room and threw it at the door, letting out a screech.

“To come in here—no warrant, no name, no agency even—to come in here while my child is injured and interrogate him, to badger him while he’s still—and to threaten me! To put your hand on your gun in my house! I just—he just—” Mom grabbed another pillow, held it to her face, and screamed.

Kwan’s brain took the opportunity to catch up with what was going on. “Did that guy… did he know it wasn’t a normal gorilla?”

“I don’t know, baby. Maybe. That whole interaction was… sketchy.” Mom ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for freaking out like that. He just… he gave me the willies.”

Yeah. He’d given Kwan the willies too.

Mom moved to replace the pillows to their rightful spots, humming under her breath. It was nice. Peaceful, even. Until:

“We do need to talk, though.”

Oh no. That was never good. Kwan thought back to what had happened yesterday, just before the attack. He had a sneaking suspicion.

“About Tyson?”

“Yes.”

Fuck. And now he was only kind of mobile, so he couldn’t escape the conversation. He stared at the arm of the couch, picking at the fibers. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You know that’s not true.”

It would be if he tried hard enough.

“Now,” Mom said, “you don’t have to talk to me, but you do have to talk to someone. I’ve arranged for you to meet with the new grief counselor at school when you go back on Monday. Either you can talk to her then, or me now. Take your pick.”

Kwan groaned. He had no good choices, it seemed. Well, maybe the grief counselor would finally believe him when he said he was fine. If she didn’t, at least he doesn’t have to deal with her until Monday.

“Fine, if it will make you calm down, I’ll go talk to the grief counselor so she can tell you herself that I’m fine.”

Mom smiled. “Wonderful! I’ll let Dr. Spectra know to expect you Monday morning.”

“Yeah.” Kwan sighed. “Wonderful.”

[alstroemeriadissonance]

Orange Chocolate (NSFW)

I was going to go on a short-ish break (which you guys prolly wouldn't feel as there's a post scheduled to be published tomorrow), until I saw this really delicious pic and I'm oh shit I need to write a fic around this ultra spicy treat (NSFW even with censor stickers, be forewarned).

Warning: NSFW. The usual. We get a nice fluffy sexy Vyn here as palate cleanser for the angstfest that were the last two updates.

"Rosa, dearest, is there anything wrong?"

You are gathering the examination papers that the students have left on their desks as soon as they either finished or gave up on Vyn's quarterly examination to Introduction to Psychology.

It is supposed to be an uneventful, mundane task: pick up the papers, maybe arrange them by alphabetical order if you feel that generous, make sure that you have not missed anything before handing them over to Vyn.

Yet somehow today, today is a little different.

Hidden underneath more than a few examination papers, to be discovered once the sheets of paper were gathered, were small gifts of handmade chocolates.

Some accompanied with short notes, no doubt sealed with kisses.

You cannot help smile at the memories of the sweet, forbidden fruit that you yoursel used to indulge in, as a young girl: tender, innocent crushes towards one's dashing teacher.

"Mm. Nothing's wrong, Dr. Richter," you say as you gently fondle the plastic-lidded giftbox containing handmade chocolates. Such care went to these, you note. Not even you yourself paid so much care and attention to detail to the gifts you once sent to your handsome maths teacher; the most you did for him was give him a candy cane from a Christmas gift that you got back in middle school...

And as you admire the handiwork, the sheer soft love that went into the gifts--there were many others, scattered on different desks--you could not help but feel a pang of something silly as jealousy.

"Are you sure?" Vyn says as he approaches you from behind. "Ah," Vyn finally sees what was catching your attention; what was keeping you from going back to his waiting orbit.

"It seems that they are at it again," he says as he gingerly takes the gifts away from your hands. "I am sorry. I shall be distributing these to the patients at the center..."

"Dr. Richter--"

"Vyn, my dearest. There are no more students around," he says as he leans towards you, capturing your lips with his.

It was supposed to be a chaste kiss, something appropriate in such a setting. Yet Vyn, one who does not pay much regard to societal mores except when it suited him, pries open your lips with his tongue to turn the once innocent, reverential kiss into something more hungry by nature.

You feel his tongue trace your lower lip before slipping inside your mouth to lay claim to your territory--now locking lips and kissing you so deeply that he literally takes your breath away...

And then you part, reluctantly, a trail of saliva keeping you connected until it snaps.

"Vyn," you breathe, flush creeping across your cheeks. "Not now. What if someone sees us?"

He grins, that knowing, lopsided grin that tells the world that he owns everything he surveys, and that he can very well do what he wants.

Everything, except if you tell him otherwise.

"Just a little bit of reassurance, my love," Vyn whispers, his breath hot against your ear. "That you are all I need, and more. I assure you, I do not partake of what they have been giving me. I do not think it--"

Wait. That is wrong, you think.

"Not even once, Vyn?" You ask.

"Not even once."

You bite your lip. Your thoughts return to your budding years as a middle schooler, having given candies to your favorite math teacher...what would you feel, how would you feel if your gifts were so rejected?

That would have been heartbreaking.

"That's...that's sad, Vyn," you cannot help but say in a small, quiet voice. The other part of you, the one that is happy to hear that he had never once indulged in his students' affections, is promptly shelved at the back of your mind.

"Hm? How so?"

"These gifts are their sincere feelings for you," you say, struggling to word your thoughts--your own feelings--on the matter. "I mean, they will not be returned, of course, but..."

You take a deep breath. "They deserve to be heard. I guess in this case, tasted?"

Your lover cocks an eyebrow, intrigued. "Were you not just a smidgen jealous, Rosa?" He asks, tone just a touch teasing. "I thought I saw you frown a little when you were looking at the chocolates."

"Oh, that," At this point you are not sure if Vyn had misread you, or if he was right--right in the sense that you were both a little jealous, yet wistful about your salad days with innocent puppy love. "Maybe. Of course. I cannot help but feel a little bit of insecurity, when so many girls look your way," you confess, biting your lip.

"And yet," Vyn said, trying to confirm the point that you are trying to make, "You wish for me to 'acknowledge their gifts'. Did I get that correctly, Rosa?"

"Yes." You nod. "Because one of the saddest things in the world are gifts that are so callously ignored."

"My sweetest, most delightful Rosa," Vyn murmurs as he gently touches your cheek. "To care for others, at the expense of your own feelings. I would admire that quality of yours, but I do not want to see you suffer so."

"I am a little insecure," you admit, "But I ache more at the thought of these handmade gifts made with you in mind so carelessly tossed aside."

Your lover gives you a small smile. Compassion, maybe even a little amused pity, is reflected in his gold irises, only for you. "Are you sure?"

You nod, resolute. "Yes. Yes, I am sure."

"Very well then, I shall respect your decision." Vyn plants a kiss on your cheek. Let us gather them, and go home."

===

Vyn sets up a makeshift bain-marie over his stove: a saucepan filled with a little water, and a heat safe bowl placed on top of the saucepan. "Love, would you be a dear and take out the chocolates from their wrapping? I am just getting ready to melt them."

Then you put yourself to work: There were a good mixture of handmade chocolates: white chocolates, dark, milk, and there was even one gift with ruby variant. They were all clad in pretty packaging: gift boxes, plastic gift bags tied with ribbons, pretty foil wrapping. All bore the touch of girlish love. The sight makes your heart grow heavy with a bittersweet ache. Is it insecurity? Of course not, for you have the man of your--their--desires with you.

Probably a little guilt?

"Should I group them by flavor, or by type...?"

"No need," says Vyn briskly as he rolls his sleeves up to his elbow. "We will melt them all into one chocolate mixture." He then peers at your work, and upon seeing all of the chocolate already unwrapped he gathers them by hand, placing them into the melting bowl a handful at a time.

As Vyn stirs the slowly melting confection with a spatula he asks, "What flavor do you feel like adding to the chocolate, beloved?"

"I like orange chocolate," you say as you join him by the stove, watching the different colors of white, dark brown, pink coalesce into a lighter brown with a slight pinkish shade. "But won't putting in additional flavor ruin the entire thing? They're already mixed up as it is...I'm sure at least one white chocolate was strawberry flavored."

Vyn chuckles. "Let me be the judge of that." He removes the chocolate-covered spatula from the bowl and, after letting it cool for a bit, dips a fingertip to gather enough melted chocolate for him to taste. "The strawberry taste is faint enough not to interfere with the orange extract," he says, after he lets the sweet swirl on his tongue.

This piques your curiosity, and you have been holding yourself back from tasting them for sometime already, so you cannot help but exclaim "Oh? Let me have a taste too!"

"But of course." Vyn now gives you that half-smile that always precedes a sort of mischief, and you swallow nervously--you do not know what to expect--and you soon find your answer as his fingertips gather some more of the molten chocolate, smearing it all over his lips.

"Go ahead, have a taste," he says, his tongue licking at the chocolate hanging over his upper lip.

Somehow you now feel wetness pooling in your nethers, now that Vyn has started that kind of play. "You play dirty. Literally," you say with a grin.

Your breath catches as you coil your arms around him, pulling him down to allow yourself unbridled access to his lips, the flat of your tongue licking off the exquisite amalgamation of his admirers' feelings, now offered up to you, his only beloved...

What has started as a teasing play soon escalates into a full-blown making out: Vyn feels around for the gas stove knob, turning off the flame. "Love, I'm still supposed to put in the extract, but," he chuckles against your lips. "We may be a bit busy for the next few--ah--minutes," he lets out a soft moan as your tongue finds its way to the tender spot where the jaw meets the neck, lapping up at the stray traces of chocolate.

He then unbuttons his shirt halfway to allow access to his collarbone.

Smiling, you take a bit of chocolate from the still-coated spatula and smear it across his collarbone, covering including his secret beauty mark underneath. "Vyn," you ask, "Has anyone else seen your mole?" You lick the very spot in question, and the flat of your tongue now runs the length of the chocolate trail.

"Hmm? Ah--no," Vyn murmurs as he watches you help yourself to his skin. "I always keep my shirt properly buttoned up."

"I'm the only one who can see this mole?" Another lick at his beauty mark.

Vyn lets out a soft laugh. "Yes, pet."

"I'm glad."

The heavenly sounds of Vyn's heavy breathing--at times almost like a cat, purring--permeate the kitchen area, the sounds of his barely held back lust filling your ears and you find yourself tasting him all over: lips, cheeks, neck, his immaculate decolletage, all even after you have licked him clean of chocolate. You try your hardest to drown yourself in your lover's flavor, and he so gladly indulges you.

You then feel his hands parting your blazer, tugging it off your shoulders and pulling it at the sleeves to let it fall off your arms. He then starts peeling off your layers, his efforts finally culminating at exposing your naked upper body save for your lacy brassiere.

And with his slender, skillful fingers he unhooks it, and off comes your bra to the floor.

Vyn groans at the sight of your breasts spilling out for him, and he dips down to trace your areola with the tip of his tongue.

"Vyn," you moan, "We're still by the stove...Fire hazard?" You cannot articulate your thoughts well, especially with how he laps up your nipple, teasing it into a hardened peak. Unconsciously you hook a leg around his waist, grabbing onto his neck to stabilize yourself as you grind your hungry arousal against his hard on...

"I am sorry," Vyn whispers in a mock apology. "You make me lose track of where I am at times. You need to forgive me."

Without warning he sweeps you off your feet, carrying you in his arms to the adjacent living room. "I cannot wait anymore," Vyn growls as he places you gently on the sofa, the guttural vibration of his voice sending electric shivers to your loins.

Quickly he strips off all his clothes, until he is naked save for his glasses.

You shed your skirt and pantyhose just as quickly. How has trying to get him to acknowledge his admirers' gifts escalate to this, you wonder as you feel Vyn's hands guide you to straddle him on the sofa, his hard cock jutting against your ass as you slide into place above him, your thighs clamped around his waist...

"Rosa, Rosa," He repeats your name, over and over, in between openmouthed kisses as he licks your lips; you follow suit and your tongues meet and entwine outside your mouths, seeking each others flavor and imprinting it to memory. "Rosa," he breathed. "I will acknowledge their gifts, but I shall meld them into one that I will offer up to you."

Vyn trails kisses from your lips, across to your cheek and up to your ear, where his tongue snakes inside; sending jolts of pleasure down your spine. "Orange, you said?" he asks as his hands slide to your breasts, his fingers feeling the heft of your swell and letting his palms slide over your nipples, teasing them, the bundle of nerves on your peaks stimulated to such heights that you almost feel you can come with that touch alone, but not quite.

"Yes, orange," you whisper as you touch his cheek and gently nudge him to kiss your lips again, to let you taste his tongue again, the tongue that usually tasted of strawberry candy--today, of chocolate--and you want to feel that giddy thrill that you always get whenever he kisses you so hungrily...

"Then I will take their gifts, gladly, and transmute them into the orange treat that will delight my Rosa," Vyn murmurs as he adjusts himself on the sofa. "Love, I need you now..."

You feel his cock nudging at your sex; your slit is now hungry, wet, and begging to be filled and stretched by your lover, and so you move to align your entrance to his tip. "Won't the chocolate harden by now?" You whisper against his neck, as you rub your dripping sex along his shaft.

Vyn hisses, and lets out a short, terse curse in his native language. "We can always melt it again, pet." His voice is now urgent, heavy with utter need. "Please. Sit on me. Now."

You then hold his gaze, and with small movements your pussy descends upon him, your gyrating movements engulfing his hard length bit by bit, all the while never breaking eye contact with him, until he is fully hilted inside. "Vyn," you moan, "I can't get enough of you..."

And once again you kiss him, your hands cupping his face lovingly as you grind your hips, your movements long and drawn out, taking advantage of his length by pulling your hips just enough until only his tip is lodged inside, then pushing until he is once buried deep, hitting your inner walls. You do this over and over, relishing your lover's delicious shuddering as he writhes underneath you.

You feel Vyn's hands slide to your hips, holding you in place. "Forgive me, Rosa," he says, his voice strained with need, and he takes over, fucking you hard and fast--and you match his movements, your hips gyrating, meeting his every thrust.

The living room is now filled with noises of skin hitting skin, of wet sex, of both your and Vyn's moaning and cries for each other, at times stifled with your wet, openmouthed kissing.

"Vyn, oh god, I need to come," you moan, and your hand slips between you, fingers rubbing your sensitive clit towards your release.

"Come for me," Vyn purrs as he relentlessly fucks you, his thrusts coming in hard and fast, and this time it is him who grabs your face to kiss you hungrily, as he comes in violent spurts inside you.

===

"Rabbit chocolates!" you exclaim once Vyn presents you the finished product, along with a lavish bouquet of flowers handpicked from his own garden.

"Yes. Is this to your liking, my Rosa?" Your doctor peers at you behind his glasses, gold irises sparkling with expectant mirth. "I have added some orange extract, as you have requested."

He hands you the bouquet of lilies and roses, and he unties the gift bow of the box housing the chocolates that the both of you melted down yesterday, before things got a little too hot to continue making handmade chocolates.

With slender fingers Vyn plucks a rabbit chocolate, and once again with that half-smile, he holds half of the chocolate with his mouth.

You lick your lips. Vyn has made it clear whose affection he values above all else.

[euphoriic-dysphoria]

Blue hair - Bucky Barnes

Firs time posting something like this on Tumblr, I welcome constructive criticism, anything to make my writing better and easier to read. As long as you're not an ass about it.

Summary: you've wanted to dye your hair for sometime now, but you're too scared to do it all by yourself and it seems like a whole big thing now that you keep kinda wanna do with a friend. Yes I'm projecting😅😅

THERE MIGHT BE A PART TWO, NOT REALLY SURE YET.

Warnings ⚠️ : none, just extreme flustered bucky, whipped bucky, fluff ig yeah. Without further ado,

Bucky was falling for you. Hard. He fell more each and everyday, but somehow, you were either not into him at all, or painfully oblivious.

He said painfully, because everytime you expressed even the slightest discomfort, even if on the Quinjet you just couldn't fall asleep, bucky just had this inexplicable urge to suddenly bring you all the pillows in the world to make you happy and laugh and smile your beautiful smile.

Bucky wasn't stupid. He'd seen how smart you were on missions, and how fast you'd solved riddles to annoy Tony. You would never be oblivious to things like this. He'd long ago accepted that he was just gonna be a friend to you, of course that didn't stop him from daydreaming about you, or freezing up everytime you brushed your arm with his.

After all, some might assume what with bucky falling head over heels for you (literally, but that's a story for another time, including Sam and being at the beach) that you guys were probably best friends or at least pretty close. Nope. Bucky was embarrassed to say that you stole away all his old fashioned Brooklyn charm the minute you were in a 2 meter radius. He was so nervous he stumbled over his words and opted to just stay quiet and enjoy your presence.

Of course, you thought that bucky was just naturally shy, and well- akward. It never occurred to you that you were the cause of that shyness, but you didn't mind. You found it endearing and utterly adorable the way a pale pink would wash over his features, and brush across his nose.

Today, he was utterly relaxed, pink free, in his room in the Avengers tower, reading and trying to get the thought of you out of his mind. That was hard when abruptly a hard knock sounded at his door, and he was just about to turn around and ignore it, when he heard you mumbling and thinking outside. Supersoldierhearing

Closing his book, he straightened up and furrowed his brow, thinking as to why you'd be outside his room. He hoped everything was alright.

"buckkyyyyyyyy! Woa-hiya, how are YOU on this verrrry fine morning?" You stumbled into his room, bucky was so deep into his thoughts he wasn't aware he opened the door so suddenly, you almost fell in.

A whirlwind of chaotic energy, you recovered quickly and jumped about, before turning back to where bucky was frozen at his door.

You were only wearing a T shirt.

Now, it was 7 in the morning, and most of the avengers were well aware that you walked around in a t-shirt in the mornings, well, only Steve and Nat cause they were the only ones that woke up then. Normally, bucky wakes up earlier to do his run, and so by the time you wake up, he's showered and reading in his room.

Shaking his head a bit to uh, clear up his thoughts, he quietly trudged back to his bed, where you were sitting and excitedly bouncing up and down on.

You gave him a good morning half hug, as you were practically buzzing with energy.

Oh. That alone was more that enough to make Bucky's cheeks start to glow a dusty pink.

However, you were already setting up the boxes of hair dye on his night stand.

"ok. Alright buck, are you ready for maybe the most important decision of your lifetime?? Ahem-" Buckys eyes widened as you did a little drumroll, jiggling your thighs and bringing up your shirt a bit, but you were too absorbed in the boxes you didn't even notice.

In your best announcer voice, you looked at him and grinned. "Blue, or red?" Holding up each colour respectively.

Huh? Bucky was so focused on your smile he practically missed what you said, which would've been hella embarrassing.

"uh- I'm not- where is this coming from?" Bucky almost winced at his voice, coming out hoarse and deep.

With an angelic smile on your face a devil would fall for, you patiently explained the hair dye situation. You wanted to dye your hair. Check. You already bought the hair dye. Check. And last but not least, now you were waiting on one of your friends to reply to you about dying their hair too. This wasn't a demanding act, for you only hit up the people you knew also had wanted to dye their hair too.

"i-i uh whyreyaaskingme?" Oh god. Before Bucky had anytime to mentally smAcK himself for mumbling like that, you were already replying.

With a soft smile you said, "well of course I'm asking you buck, I don't think it's very nice to knock on people's doors at 7 in the morning unless they're awake, and Nat and Steve left together to get coffee. Plus, I trust your opinion, I'm sure you have an excellent sense of style." You teased, reminding him of the time he refused to wear a ridiculous suit that Tony had jokingly, not really, designed.

Buck sighed quietly, as you made your way to the bathroom to compare the colours. Ouch. It was never a nice feeling to know you had come to him out of necessity. Little did he know, you had earlier rushed Nat and Steve straight outta here, in attempts to build a closer bond with bucky. Those two just shared a smug little knowing look, before hightailing it right out of the tower.

Lost in his thoughts, bucky didn't realize you had stopped muttering to yourself about the hair colours.

It was quiet. Too quiet. In the bathroom, there was absolutely no sound.

Bucky frowned, making his way over, and knocked on the door.

"can-uh do you mind if I come in?" Bucky knocked.

The door creaked open, and Bucky peeked inside to find your dejected expression and little pouty lips as you sat on the edge of the sink counter, scrolling through your phone.

"hey- wh-whats wrong doll?" Aw jeez. Cut it out, he said firmly in his head. Stop stuttering, just talk to her like a normal person.

"you- wanna tell me why you're looking like a sad puppy down over here?" Bucky's breath hitches as he's in the middle of berating himself for comparing you to a puppy, when you finally look up and meet his eyes, droplets threatening to leak and break past your waterline.

Bucky's heart just about cracks at the sadness radiating off of you. As far as he knows, you of all people should never have to feel this sad. All nervousness forgotten, he quickly bends down and tilts your chin up, tenderly wiping away the tears that have now started their journey down your cheeks.

It's been 5 minutes of you and him, leaning against each other as he wipes away the quiet tears that keep replacing each other.

Finally, in a quiet voice, you explain. At first it was just the dissapointment of no one wanting to really dye their hair with you. But you understood. Really, it was early in the morning, and it was easy to see why people didn't wanna dye their hair right away, or at all even. You completely and totally respected them and their choices. But then, you thought, maybe they're annoyed at me. Maybe, they don't like me anymore. Maybe they wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe they'd be better off without me.

You were well aware you were spiralling, but after the negative thoughts started, it was hard to stop. You had anxiety of these types of things.

Countless times, Nat and Wanda had had to reassure your wanted presence and that the team did love you.

While you were explaining, Buckys arms slowly snaked around to embrace you, and put his chin on top of you head. He was sad, simply because you were.

But listening to your thought process made him realize that you were human too, and it opened his eyes to listen to your anxiousness, no matter how much it still hurt.

Uh oh. The feeling was coming back, tugging at bucky, eating him away, making him want to do anything to make you happier.

Tightening his arms around you one last time before releasing you, he blurted, "uh- I'll dye m-my hair."

Your eyes widened. A small smile slowly creeped onto your tear streaked face. "Yo-you'd do that f-for me?" You hiccuped.

Holy shit. Oh man. Bucky would've tattooed his face if it gave you that little glowing smile and hopeful face you were giving to him now.

"Oh doll. You wouldn't believe what I'd do for you."

PART TWO IS NOW UP

[dourpeep]

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.