#I'm probably also guilty of this
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A lot of the sex worker Dean fics/headcanons are uncomfortably influenced by classism. Believe it or not, the majority of blue-collar truckers aren't gonna be interested in having sex with an underage boy. Same goes for the men in these "seedy" bars that are just grabbing a beer after a hard day's work of manual labor. Of course, there are evil people in all tax brackets, but if you're looking for a predator, it's more likely you'll find them among people who hold social or financial power.
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I've only known about your art for a little less than a year but I think it will forever leave an impact on me. Your style and designs and imagery. Even if at some point I move on from your blog, tumblr, internet, there will be times when I'll fondly remember this one person who would draw gay anthro dogs. You are unforgettable. Thank you.
Auh, that's too kind ;_;
I'm honored you think so highly of what I do! Thank you so much!
#lately I've been pretty focused on making only the kind of stuff I feel close to#things that feel good and natural to draw#which right now (as you've probably noticed) is just endless Vasco and Machete#and while it's fun and satisfying it also makes me feel a little guilty about being self-centered sometimes#it means the world to me to hear my creations resonate with someone out there and people seem to genuinely care about my dog guys#even if they might be somewhat niche and personal in nature and I'm not doing anything special with them#maybe that's just the way I see it though I could be overthinking things it's late and I've had one of them emotional days#answered#kruncher
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ABAcelsus keychain designs 🗝️🩸
I love this dedicated wife and her axe husband 🩵💛
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#ggst#ggstrive#abacelsus#a.b.a#paracelsus#art#illustration#digital art#fanart#they've constantly been on my mind since release#i'm making these into actual keychains!#probably won't sell them because i'm scared of that#dayis art#WARNING ranting ahead#ougghh their recent lore drop for slayer's update made me tear up#aba is so scared of him leaving her#he KNOWS he can have a body but he doesn't say anything#also i love that aba got into fashion#she's so me (kind of)#paracelsus might have a body the next game they show up in#he'll probably be able to switch between forms or something#idk how thatll work gameplay wise#idk x2 because he doesnt even want a body#unless hes more open to the idea now#aaah#i love them so much
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Why is he posing like that. I'm 30% sure he's doing Volcanic Viper here.
#i dont have context for this and you will not get context I'm not going through the vastedge files for Sol I'm doing it for conclave.#for why i think it's volcanic viper. the file before it was an animation that announced volcanic viper. and that happened also w/baldias.#so maybe it's volcanic viper but I haven't much knowledge on Sol and I probably am wrong#ah rambling#guilty gear#guilty gear vastedge#sol Badguy
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Yk that tendency to put Cartman physically in time out in fics by putting him in the hospital or having him be away at a camp or something so the plot doesn't revolve around him, because it WILL if he's given the chance?
Yeah, guilty. Even if putting him in the hospital kinda kickstarted the plot to revolve around him a little more more so maybe reverse guilty but still guilty
#i'm also guilty of the tendency to have someone beat the fucking shit out of him#there's probably a bingo card for long sp fics somewhere#my fic#chaos plan
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when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure
#like I feel like it's conviction. but also when I analyze it... I'm not doing anything sexual??? the stories I'm writing are#ENTIRELY platonic#it's like. found family feels.#but then why do I feel so guilty/convicted over it and feel better/less guilty when I stop writing anything feelsy#like... I guess I'm only allowed to write plot and can't ever write hugs and hurt/comfort anymore#my mom keeps saying I should journal all this instead of venting it at everybody and honestly maybe she's right#idk how to handle this but also I feel like if I just find a holding pattern where I can strike a healthy balance of lile#like* what is correct and healthy for me to enjoy#then the anxiety over it might pass? I don't want to avoid conviction though but like. why am I convicted over#writing a story where someone who's been treated like a monster finds a family who loves them#like.. is it because I'm seeking out whatever that feeling in my lower belly/groin is????#but that's like... so tied up in enjoyment and hurt/comfort to me that idk if I'm ACTUALLY looking for that#or if this is just what I write#and idk if that even is sinful in any way at all!!!#and why can't I just get over this? like I keep going in circles with it and it's so frustrating#idk this is totally tmi I just got hit with this awful feeling after work today and the only thing I can pinpoint it to#is this specific thing I've been writing. but even though yeah I've been getting feelsy with it... it's PLATONIC#ENTIRELY COMPLETELY NONSEXUAL. so like... is it that pleasure feeling that's the thing I'm being convicted over??#probably. bc that's the only thing that eases the feeling of conviction/anxiety/guilt#and also probably no one is reading all these tags lol sorry guys I'll go away now
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Thinking about it, Bedman sorta fits into a similar archetype as the Digimon Emperor. Too-smart-for-his-own good bratty nerd who still somehow manages to be tricked by a bigger antagonist into thinking the world is a game that they can play god, and you don't really have any friends but your boss says you're just so smart and special so do you really need any anyway?
Except whoopsie you were actually just a pawn all along. Have fun reflecting on all the fucked up stuff you did (possibly right before you die) and try not to worry about the copious amounts of hangups you have toward your missing sibling that led you into doing this in the first place its fiiiine
#so basically I just want Sin to be his Daisuke/Davis#Axl can also be that though he's more of a dad#bedman has such a weirdly specific archetype but I love seeing it in other media#a lot of his character reeks of being a shonen antagonist who just ended up in the wrong genre#he's the sort of character that's like...built to be a reformed sixth ranger after a few plot arcs#or maybe I'm just biased#probably just biased#guilty gear#bedman
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I fucking hate the modern age maaaaannn I fucking HAAAAAATE how ongoing video game series can give their male characters new designs no problem but the minute a female character has a new design just like everybody the fuck else suddenly five million gamer men with six-digit Twitter followings spawn out of the aether to bitch and moan about how this is supposedly "censorship"
#yes this is about dizzy guilty gear#in fact this is just generally about uhh#guilty gear#but also#xenoblade#with the way people were calling nia's xb3 design and mio and sena's throwback outfits censored#and so many fucking others too like fatal fury and street fighter#and mortal kombat and and and and#FUCK i'm just so over it learn what censorship actually MEANS you dumb cunts#well actually no they probably know what it means but are using it as a buzzword because these dudes#do not care about censorship at all they just get mad at the prospect of women maybe not being as sexualized anymore#or are blinded by nostalgia in general#<- that tag is important because like#it was weird seeing people complain about i-no and may's designs supposedly being censored when they show MORE skin
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very happy about dizzy and venom being added but seriously like. arcsys even mention zappa on the offhand challenge (extreme difficulty).......... zappa mention total in strive is one (1). come on. you have him in prime position for actual show and use and you put in a guest character i straight up do not recognise ^_^;. I'm going to snap
#guilty gear#i just woke up and I'm off my meds so I'm probably making no actual sense#what im trying to say is that a guest character is completely unwarranted#you have twenty. five. years of characters in the guilty gear franchise. and you add someone who nobody actually gives a shit about#also i can understand unika being added but i wish she was added like#later. yknow#she could have been a celebratory bonus after the main cast was done?
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Thoughts on Padmé x Anakin x Rex?
Padmé and Anakin are so mutually obssesed they would first have to check into that before trying to bring another person to their carefully-balanced-kind-of-damage or something it's going to explode.
Honestly it's a fun ship! But I don't have too many thoughts about them because when I consider them is usually in very low-stakes-fun-AU-scenarios.
And I'm actually a bit of a fan of Rexwalker myself! Athough I tend to like them more as very good buddies, the covering-for-you-dynamic it's so funny for them, lol It's also angsty and complicated because, y'know, the power-imbalance and unchecked trauma? Is funny that the clone that's actually a slave for the republic is the most normal if you bring him into the anidala romance circus.
Also shout out to @phoenixyfriend , she has a lot of rexanidala fics and recs for anyone interested reading this!
#I have rexwalker wips somewhere in my endless wips folder although im generally very lazy to draw or care about ships unless i REALLY dig it#which is why you see me mostly drawing anidala despite the fact I do actually have lots of ships i like/consider#anakin is such a strange character he's hard to ship around bc look at him his social circle consists of 4 ppl#and padme's impressive social circle are her coworkers and her decoys#which is impressive bc SW has SO MANY characters lol#also sorry i ramble a lot just to answer 'it's a fun one'#thanks for the ask!#rexanidala#anakin is also such an anxious and intense guy he would need a LOT of talking and reassurance and stuff#bc otherwise he would feel guilty as hell like the three of them could have agreed to it and he probably would feel like he's cheating LOL#the thing with rexanidala which is the most interesting to me to wonder about is how padmé got into rex#she's actually a very closed person and part of the reason she fell for anakin that hard was over mutual trauma bonding#so i wonder i wonderrrr#but also generally the thing with me is that i tend to lean more into non-romantic dynamics and platonic stuff believe it or not#so if you see me doing lots of art for a ship (like anidala) it must be bc i really love them both otherwise i'm more into family or#complicated relationships stuff probably because i'm aroace and a ship must have some incredible complex thing going on for me to care#with rexanidala the biggest brownie points it gets to me is all the AU possibilities the ANGSTY AU possibilities bc it would change A LOT
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Goku definitely wanted to train Gohan for fun, just like Grandpa Gohan did with him, but then he wanted to respect Chichi's desire of him not becoming a fighter. He also spent 4 years of Gohan's life together and living peacefully.
But then he died, and when he came back, he found that Gohan was turned into a fighter by Piccolo, fair, I guess. He didn't see him fight, tho, he doesn't know the story behind him becoming a fighter, just that he was trained by Piccolo.
Then Gohan wants to go to Namek to find the dragon balls because he has to make sure their dead friends come back, and Goku goes wow that sounds like me, he also can't stand to stay on the side when it comes to these things.
Weeks pass, and now he's finally able to reach them on Namek. They have to fight, of course. Things happen. He's the only chance they have to defeat Freezer. Things fall apart now, Goku becomes Super Saiyan and tells Gohan to take Piccolo and get away. Goku is stuck alone on Namek. He saves himself by pure luck. He decides to stay where he is, to learn something new, to be able to also control his Super Saiyan state.
A year passes, and he comes back to earth. News from the future, saying that in 3 years, there's gonna be a new threat. They have to train, Gohan wants to train with him and Piccolo to fight this new threat. The three years have passed, and now there's another threat outside of the androids. Goku finally healed, he gets Gohan and tells him they're gonna train to defeat Cell. Gohan accepts to train with him. Gohan puts his all into that training, and Goku finds out Gohan has so many capabilities than what he shows. That's good! They have a chance at defeating Cell, maybe.
They finish their training, Goku wants Gohan to spend as much time with Chichi, and he wants to spend the remaining days before the Cell games as a family, you never know. The Cell games start, and Goku goes first to study him, to see how strong he is and if Gohan might have a chance. Oh, Gohan definitely has a chance. Come on, Gohan, now is your turn, I can tell you know you're stronger. Gohan is having difficulties, tho, Goku says it's just a matter of time before his fighting instict and anger sets in. But Gohan doesn't like fighting. That knowledge comes to Goku as a shock. He always assumed Gohan was fighting for the safety of the earth and for the love of fighting as well. At the end of the day, how could he think different, he never truly saw Gohan fighting, and at the end of the day, he was just picking up what Piccolo started in the first place. He never truly showed a disliking for fighting, or at least he never told him. He didn't know how in his first fighting against the Saiyans, he was petrified by fear. He wasn't there for the love of fighting, but because he had to, since he had this power.
Goku realises he miscalculated this. He immediately tells Krillin to pass him a bean so that he can get back into shape to go help him. Of course, Cell stops him before that. After Cell started to attack the others, finally Gohan snapped and unleashed his power, Goku was right after all. Gohan was definitely more powerful than him. He was the right warrior to defeat him. Gohan needs to defeat him once and for all, tho, but he doesn't. He says he has to have a slow and painful death. Those are some shocking words coming from Gohan. It doesn't sound like him. Well, now that has brought some problem, Cell is now about to explode and take all the earth with him. Now Goku has to make a decision. He will sacrifice himself. At the end of the day, he was the one to put Gohan in that position in the first place. It's only fair for him to do that. But, his sacrifice is useless, Cell comes back. Gohan tries his hardest, but his arm is broken. How can he defeat him now. But Goku is there to help him find the strenght and the others too. In the end, Gohan finds the strength to finally beat him.
It's time to revive people. There's still the problem of Goku not being able to be resurrected a second time. They think hey maybe we can use the dragon balls from Namek. But Goku stops them. He thinks that Bulma was right. He only attracts threats that put the earth in jeopardy, Piccolo, the Saiyans, the androids, and Cell. Maybe if he stays dead, they will stop coming. Like that, he will not put Gohan in danger anymore, Gohan will not have to fight anymore. So at the end of the day, it's better for him to stay away, rather than him staying with them, after all he was the one to put Gohan in that situation in the first place. In the end, he makes the selfless choice for Gohan. Maybe it's better for him not to have a father, but being safe, than having a father and being put into danger. At least, that's what he thinks is the right thing to do
#i don't know what this is but the goku decides to stay dead because he feels guilty compels me so much and at the end of the day#it doesn't make him a bad dad like many people think i think people also focus too much on the part where he said well like this i can meet#more powerful opponents when i think he was saying that also to not make them feel too bad#i'm of the opinion that he did it ultimately because he felt guilty for the gohan vs cell even tho it isn't entirely his fault#is he really to be blamed fully for not having notice gohan didn't like fighting when gohan never said anything and for a reason or another#he couldn't stay that much with gohan and the only time he stayed with him it was to train him#anyway i love the nuances about goku as a father truly shows him not to be as black and white as too many people think#also i probably changed verb conjugation so many times so pardon but like when i start making long posts i kinda lose track of what i said#previously so it's kinda of a mish mash of very mixed thoughts#dragon ball z#son goku#son gohan#dbz posting
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Since it's Gavv day and the debut of Kamen Rider Valen will be in a few hours' time, I'm popping in to say I'm somewhere between thinking Hanto's shishou will actually die or the show making it look like the shishou died, only for an additional flashback scene to reveal the shishou didn't get turned into a Hitopress because he's a Granute - specifically the one who ate Hanto's mum - and he was 1) trying to harvest his prey's son all this time or 2) genuinely fond of Hanto and when he discovered the Granutes will essentially give Hanto the power to fight the monsters, Hanto's shishou decided to go along with it for Hanto's sake
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#personally i'm for the 'genuinely fond of hanto route' because the sheer tragedy of it all#eating someone to get a serotonin boost only to find happiness without resorting to cannibalism in your former prey's son of all ppl#who you also see as your own son!#and said son will probably despise you for all eternity once the truth is revealed so you have to keep that a guilty secret#my 'shishou is a granute' theory is based on that one scene where the shishou adjusted his pants in ep 1#bc he sure looks like he's got a second mouth on his abdomen there....#well i'll find out whether this will be canon or another one for the personal canon after lunch today :)
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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for those wondering why i have been mostly quiet regarding israel and palestine: most of the pro-palestine stuff i come across is dismissive of hamas' horrors, blatantly antisemetic in parts, and generally conflates the israeli population with their government. or worse, treats them as a monolith; it is true that there are many israelis mocking the people their soldiers are destroying. it is NOT true that all of israel doesn't care and is just totally cool with what's going on. i will share what i find of israel's atrocities, but i will not make my jewish followers feel unsafe for shit they had nothing to do with. most of the stuff i've seen that *does* acknowledge the horror is jewish bloggers who have spent much of their life advocating for palestine, now having to struggle against antisemetics coming to them, furious that they DARE to be upset at the lost israeli lives. as though they are not allowed to mourn for both sides. as though they are not allowed to be horrified by what has happened; that they can ONLY be worried for palestine and how the attack was the perfect excuse for israel to double down. i refuse to send even more hatred their way by spreading their grief further into the void; you never know Exactly who's following your follower's followers. i am glad, at least, that nobody i follow was outright celebrating. but i know that people WERE, and now they're trying to act like that never happened. so incase this wasn't clear, cheering on the deaths of Israelis does not fucking help palestine.
I am truly disgusted with the blatant racism and colonialism that manifests israel's very core. it is an attempt at a violent ethnostate, intent to not only destroy the people it seeks to replace, but fully erase them from history. i am also disgusted with the way that the left is happy to celebrate genuine terrorism if it's committed "for the right side", as if parading dead bodies and raping people does fucking ANYTHING good. as if that doesn't fuel the israeli government's chances for propoganda. as if it hasn't traumatized your jewish neighbors. there are no fucking winners in war. free palestine and protect your muslim AND jewish friends in this time, they are BOTH getting their shit kicked in by ignorant people who want to take out their anger on some random kid in ohio. we are all posting in anger here. but let's check ourselves before we post; misinformation and antisemitism weakens our voices. Edit for clarity: this post is for my mutuals. I am specifically asking my mutuals to think carefully about what they post; i am aware that i've been too quiet, and i am trying to remedy that. i am also warning my jewish and muslim followers that if you've been using my blog as a safe spot to not think about it for a little bit, you're gonna wanna block the tags below. 'horrible things' will usually do it. i am also venting about how every jew i follow is getting hit with the "die you stupid zionist" shit from coward anons who can't tell the difference between supporting israel and just being fucking concerned for your family over there. it's fucked.
#palestine#israel#nsfc#real death#genocide#rape#horrible things#i'm glad everyone's so concerned but can you PLEASE check yourself for antisemetism here#neither side is a monolith. israel is clearly the one in the wrong here but israelis are not all collectively guilty.#let's not forget some people were born into this cult and fed propoganda to keep them from the truth.#i will continue to post blatant information. i will also continue to TAG THEM and post silly memes and cats as well.#frankly i think our jewish and muslim followers deserve a fucking break here and there. don't you?#rants#edit: if you read this post and somehow got NEUTRALITY out of it i am seriously questioning your critical reading skills.#and if my post doesn't reflect your experience THAT IS PROBABLY A GOOD THING. I AM GLAD YOU'RE NOT SEEING THE SHIT I AM.#i am a LITTLE wired from seeing the shit getting fired at my very pro-palestine jews right now.
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yeah but what if the reason I've been having those single isolated heartbeats that feel especially hard or weird more often the last couple days is because I've taken frickin nsaids more this summer than I ever have before (<- girl whose sleep schedule is so fucked up because she's been taking care of other people's animals, working a part time job, and working on renovating a house with almost no breaks)
#like. it's probably bc I'm so much more tired than normal and also I asked my mom and she said it happens to her too sometimes#but also. I feel frightened about the fact that yeah I have taken a lot of nsaids this summer#and I feel guilty bc I can't mention that to my mom bc she'd get on my case about it so I'm basically hiding it from her#like. I've never taken more than the directions even when I was taking ibuprofen as often as I could for like 3 days bc I was sick#but I'm still like. I've taken more stuff this year than ever before in my life.#anyway.#delete later probably#the hypochondria blues
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