#I'm not really looking for advice here though if you have some I'll try to take it well
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gettothedancing · 9 months ago
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Relationship Doubts and Venting
For context, I've never had a long-term relationship before. I was technically 'with' a guy for two years, but after 6 dates our first month, I had to move, and so only saw him twice more in person after that. He insisted on EMAIL communcation only. So we essentially made no progress on actually getting to know each other.
So now, I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 months, and have known him for 6. We met on a dating app. We find each other very attractive, we're both conservative and want multiple children, we're both deadset on no sex before marriage, and we get along quite well. I enjoy being around him, and I've introduced him to my church and my coworkers on different occasions, starting from our first month together.
But on our last date, he started asking me questions about how my denomination handles weddings and what I would like my own wedding to be like. I was honest about what I liked, and finished by saying I wasn't ready to be engaged yet. But from things he's said, I have a feeling he's decided that I'm the one and is only waiting until I say something similar back to make it official.
That's so exciting, and flattering, and yet I know I'm not ready for it.
I still have a lot of concerns and unknowns about him. In no particular order, please enjoy all my concerns:
1: I still haven't met any of his family. We almost went bowling with his sister but she had a last-minute scheduling conflict. He's been living with his brother for several years, but he didn't even tell that brother about me yet. He says this brother is just very quiet and that they aren't close. But they've lived together for over 10 years, and my BF drives an hour EACH WAY to see me for every date. Where does the brother think he's going?
2: We never go to his area, partly because my work schedule is much less forgiving than his. This also means I've never seen his bedroom or home, including pictures. I've asked about this more than once, and he kinda dismisses it, saying it's just nicer to be in my area/house.
3: He's eight years older than me. I'm okay with the age gap in theory. In practice, we definitely grew up in very different eras and families. He's one of five kids, and I'm one of two sisters. I think he was harshly disciplined, and he indicated that he would physically discipline any children he has, though he added caveats restricting that discipline to certain behaviors from boys over the age of 15. But it still concerned me, because it wasn't coming from a place of "last resort" so much as from a place of "I got this so he would too."
Similarly, we don't agree on circumcision. His arguments for it consisted of "I was," "it's ugly otherwise," "he'll be bullied if he doesn't get it," and "there are some slight health benefits I think."
4: He was raised Catholic. I don't have an issue with Catholics generally, but I have known of several Catholic-CS couples who did not work out because of the vast denominational differences. I've also been personally warned by more than one CS woman of marrying a Catholic man, because they were prevented in their marriages from practicing their faith by their own Catholic husbands. TBF to my BF, he doesn't seem like he would be this kind of husband, but I don't know for sure because he doesn't seem to understand how different our beliefs actually are?
While my BF says he is looking for a new denomination, he's fundamentally incurious about other denominations, including my own. It seems like he is only looking to leave Catholicism because of political disaffection with Pope Francis and not because of an actual theological disagreement. He did Lent this year same as he ever did. He even admitted to not knowing the difference between Catholic and Protestant beliefs. He thought Peter wrote one of the Gospels (and he went to Catholic schools all his life).
It's just baffling to me that he isn't really interested in learning about different theologies and practices, while still claiming that he IS interested. It's words with no action following. I keep trying to show him stuff about my Bible study or my church. He's gone to a few services with me, but he never wants to talk about the content after. He just says the people there are nice.
Occasionally he makes jokes about wearing cult robes or bringing a goat to sacrifice to my church. This is because CS is often excluded from mainstream interfaith discussions and derided as a cult. Obviously, it's not a cult by any definition. I'm sensitive about this sort of joke, as not only do I truly hate cults like Scientology (for which we are also mistaken a lot unfortunately) and what they do to good people, but I was teased and bullied for my religion several times as a child and teenager.
5: Really, more than anything else, it's the incurious nature that concerns me. I'm not wealthy or an elite or anything, and never will be at my income level. But I do deeply value education, art, and learning. These are the things my family values too. I don't think I can be with someone permanently who doesn't value those things. I don't want to be overly pushy or self-centered either: it's not as if I want someone who only likes the stuff I like. But I don't want to only have small talk forever.
The few times we've had deeper discussions, he ends them as fast as possible, and his statements are rather vague and disconnected. While I wish we did agree on circumcision as an issue, I was more concerned with how poorly he defended his opinion, as well as how dismissive he was of my thoughts. I mean, I guess since I'm not a guy my opinion doesn't matter as much? But my arguments weren't about personal experience, but about empirical evidence and psychological studies. Idk. I regretted that conversation a lot; I got into lawyer-mode and was too blunt. For a few weeks afterward, he seemed like he was upset, but when I asked, he insisted he wasn't and that he didn't care. He also became more vulgar in our conversations after that. I had to ask him to scale it back.
None of these things individually are "dealbreakers". I'm not afraid of compromise and of us being our own people. But we do need to know some big things about each other and come to some important agreements before I would be ready to get engaged to him.
I'm hoping that when he meets my dad and stepmom next week, that will give me further insight. Good kissing and political agreement alone cannot a good marriage make.
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fallingformatt · 6 months ago
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SEXUAL TENSION M.S.
bsf!Matt x fem!reader
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summary: the sexual tension between you and your best friend Matt causes you two to ‘talk it out’ in the car
based on these requests available: here, here
warnings: filthy ass smut bro
word count: 3.2k
a/n: I’ve been so busy with work, but im glad i finally found the time to write something hope yall enjoy it :) this post is not proofread
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"Wait do you like him?" my friend asks with a smirk on her lips as she playfully pushes my shoulder.
I was hanging out with my friend at the beach tanning, eating some grapes, swimming and just taking in the sun.
"I don't know, it's like this weird sexual tension between us like I just feel that hot and bothered vibe coming from him," I say to my friend as I twirl a strand of my hair between my fingers.
"As in general or like just around you?" She asks me while raising an eyebrow. "Girl I don't know, we don't talk about how often we get laid," I say with a serious tone. "You should then," she answers as one corner of her lips rises up followed by a wink. "Can we not? I'm not asking Matt if he wants to fuck me or just fuck in general, let's change the subject," I say now slightly annoyed about how long this topic has dragged on.
I have to admit though, in the past couple of weeks there have been moments of strong sexual tension between me and my best friend Matt. I don't know what it is but every time we hang out in a group setting, I feel him throwing glances at me while fidgeting with his rings practically undressing me with his eyes, his eyes seem to scan me up and down, eventually meeting mine every time, his stare would get this hint of hunger like he's been starving for something, so I went for advice to my friend but she doesn't have a serious bone in her body so it obviously didn't go far.
Not even a second later I heard my phone ring. I turn it facing up to look who's calling. My friend leans in pushing up her sunglasses to see the caller as well. "Oh it's Matt, you should ask him if he's down to fuck," she says with a huge smile plastered across her face. "You're so funny," I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes before answering the phone.
"Hey!" I say as I bring up the phone to my ear.
"Hey, what are you up to?" Matt asks.
"Nothing much, I'm at the beach with a friend," I say as I turn my head to look at her, as soon as I do so, I see her standing on her knees humping the air before she points to my phone laughing. I instantly facepalm regretting that I even mentioned something to her.
"Hello, are you there?" I hear on the phone.
I snap back as I remember that I'm currently on the phone with Matt.
"Yeah sorry, what did you say," I say.
"I asked if the weather is nice, am I really that boring?" Matt says.
"No I was just looking at my friend, she was kicking down someone's sand castle," I lie as I search around with my free hand for something to throw at my friend. "Yeah the weather is nice, the water is really warm too, what are you doing?" I continue.
"I'm driving home, do you want to do something later?" Matt asks and I see my friend walking over to me kneeling next to me pressing her ear against my phone trying to hear what Matt is saying.
"Yeah I'm down, do you have something in mind?" I answer as I try to push my friend away with my elbow staring at her and shaking my head.
"Chris and Nick really want to see you, so I was thinking we could go to topgolf, and get something to eat after that," he offers.
I see my friend nodding her head up and down signaling me to say yes. How did she even hear that is beyond me.
"Yeah I'm down, should be fun," I say.
"Alright I'll pick you up at 7, see you then," he says before ending the call
I look down next to me and see one grape lying in the sand, without giving it a second thought, I pick it up and throw it at my friend. "You're such a child," I say as I roll my eyes smiling. "You still love me," she says sitting down smiling, finally relaxing after being on my case this whole time.
The sun had started to set and we decided to head back to my friend's house. The beach is like a 10 minute walk from her place. "What time is he picking you up?" My friend asks me.
"He's picking me up at 7, but it's not like you didn't know that already, you're so nosy," I say as I look down at my phone to see the time. "Shit it's 6:27 pm already, there's no way I'm gonna get back to my house and get ready in time.
"You can just get ready at my place," she offers. I nod and pull out my phone from my pocket and text Matt the new address.
We go into her house and I drop my bag at the door running for the bathroom to shower. I turn on the water and hop in.
"Are you really that excited to see him?" my friend asks as she opens the door to the bathroom. "What do you mean?" I ask her. "I mean you rushed to take a shower so fast, surely you're excited to meet up with him," she says as I hear her turning on the sink to wash her hands. "I'm literally just showering, I don't want to be sweaty, covered in sand, and gross, no matter who I'm meeting up with," I defend myself. "Whatever you say," my friend says as she leaves the bathroom.
I hopped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I went past the kitchen to my friend's room. I open the door and she's sitting in front of her vanity doing her skincare playing some music in the background.
My eyes lay upon an outfit lying down on her bed, it's a short jean skirt and a black lace tank top, I raise my eyebrow in confusion "What's this?" I ask. "It's an outfit for you to wear," she answers, I tilt my head. "Well unless you're gonna go to topgolf in sweats and a bathing suit, you should wear what's on the bed," she exclaims. "But this is what I would wear if we went clubbing not something I would wear hanging out with friends," I answer. "Trust me on this one," my friend replies. "You seriously need to move on," I say as I grab the outfit and put it on.
I check my phone to see the time, 7:05 pm it reads and as I was about to put down my phone I receive a text from Matt.
"I'm here" that's all the text says.
"I have to go," I say to my friend as I stand up from her vanity and head for the door. "Wait, just one more thing," she says as she runs over to me with a perfume bottle and sprays a few sprays on me. "What's that?" I ask. "It's a pheromone perfume, it's supposed to make guys crazy," she says, smiling proudly holding the bottle. I just sigh as I go for the door. "This way we'll find out if he wants to fuck in general or if he wants to fuck you!" my friend says happily, waving at me as I exit.
I get in the front seat as I see that Chris is sitting at the back. "Hey," Nick exclaims. "Hey," I say to everyone as I put on my seatbelt. "You look good," Matt says as he turns his head looking me up and down and Nick nods his head in agreement. "Thanks, guys," I say and we start driving. We're now driving for about 15 minutes, there's music blasting through the whole car as Nick and Chris are arguing, trying to scream over the loud music about which is the best spongebob episode making me giggle from time to time.
We're stopped at a red light and as I'm scrolling through my phone I feel someone's eyes on me, I pick up my head and see Matt looking at me, there it is again, that hungry stare, he's looking me up and down before his eyes again meet mine. I see him bite his lower lip before a little smirk creeps up on his lips. "You look so fucking good," he says, making me smile, his voice was deeper than usual. He turns his head to focus on the road again as the light turns green.
This is the vibe I was talking about with my friend earlier, we've never had this kind of tension between us before.
I turned my head back to see if Chris and Nick noticed his comment, and no they were still arguing, but the topic of the argument had changed to waffles and pancakes.
"We're here," Matt says as the car stops and he pulls out the keys from the engine and we all exit the car. As we go in, Nick goes to registration and pays for all of us. We all walk to our playing area and we all get something to snack on and some drinks.
"I'm up first," Matt says as he walks over to the playing area, he sets up the ball and swings the golf club. Next up is Nick, he does the same, now it's my turn, I walk up to the playing area, set up the ball, and take a swing with my golf club, I miss completely and I turn my head to look at everyone laughing, well almost everyone, Matt is the only one who's not laughing, which made me less embarrassed, I guess that's what best friends are for. "You need any help?" He asks, I nod my head and he stands up walking over to me.
I set myself up to take a shot and Matt walks over standing behind me, he puts his hands over mine "You have to hold the club tightly, okay?" Matt says as he tightens his grip around my hands. "Keep your back straight," he says and I straighten my back, which causes my butt to brush against his crotch. He inhales sharply before he continues, "Now swing," he says as he guides my hands with his swinging them to the side before hitting the golf ball and watching it fly away. I turn around to face Matt, "thank you," I say as I give him a hug. Before I get to pull away I feel his arm around the back of my neck as he leans into my ear, "you did so good," he says as he lets me go a slight grin forming on his lips, we walk back to the lounge area and Chris stands up as it is his turn now.
I was now sitting watching them play as I understood pretty quickly that there wasn't gonna be a golfer made out of me. Throughout the night I kept noticing Matt's glances, he's now sitting across from me, and he's staring me up and down as he's fidgeting with his rings. His gaze sends shivers down my spine, making me actually shiver and Nick notices.
"Are you cold? I left a sweater in the car, Matt can get it," he offers, " yeah that would be nice," I say as I look back at Matt and he seems to snap back into reality not really understanding what's going on.
"Come on Matt, I'm gonna go with you to get the sweater," I say to help him understand what's going on, he nods and stands up and we start walking to the car. I was actually glad that I managed to get him alone, I needed to understand what was going on with him, but I didn't want to ask with everyone around.
As we get to the car he unlocks it and I get into the front passenger seat and lean back to get the sweater Nick was talking about, as I grab the sweater I hear the door open, I turn my head to look and I see Matt leaning down, his arm resting against the open door. "You ready?" He asks. "No get in," I say as I lean back into my seat, placing the sweater in my lap. Matt gets in the car and closes the door. "What's up?" He asks. "I should be asking you that," I answer and Matt tilts his head confused by my statement.
"What's going on with you?" I ask. "What do you mean?" He answers me with a question not understanding what I'm talking about. I take a deep breath slightly nervous about what I'm going to say next, but I needed some clarity so I knew I had to ask. "Past couple of weeks you have been zoning out, staring at me," I state, I watch his face, waiting for his reaction. His expression grows dark, and once again his glare turns dark.
"You're driving me fucking insane, " he says his voice getting deeper again, "you don't know what you're doing to me, your sent, your presence," he says as he moves his stare from my eyes to my lips before licking his. "Tell me," I say as I put my arm on his bicep. "How about I show you instead," he says as a smirk appears on his lips. He leans over and grabs the outer side of my thigh, signaling me to move. I cautiously move over the center console his arms grabbing and holding my ass for support as he guides me to sit in his lap.
Without any warning he pushes his lips onto mine, kissing me roughly. One of my hands travel to his hair and the other one rests on his chest, his hands travel to my hips, pushing and guiding them back and forth, I let out a quiet moan as I break the kiss, "Matt this is wrong," I say as I try to calm down my breathing. "I don't care, I want you," he says as he smashes his lips back onto mine and I give into the kiss, he moves from my lips to my cheek and down to my jawline, his one hand still guiding my hips back and forth as the other hand moves over my ass grabbing it and slapping it.
I'm not fighting him and give into his touch fully, I throw my head back as I feel my panties getting wet and a moan slips past my lips, Matt takes advantage and attacks my neck, leaving wet kisses, slipping in a few bites as he's sucking on my sensitive skin leaving marks.
"Move up," he says, his voice is demanding. I move my ass up, both of my hands move to his shoulders as I hold them for support. He quickly unbuckles his belt and bucks up his hips sliding his jeans down along with his boxers. Matt's hand travels to my panties, he rubs against my clothed clit before sliding them to the side with one quick motion. He places his hands on my waist pushing me down and signaling me to sit down again.
He pushes his lips on my neck leaving sweet kisses around the dark marks he had created, he leans back and his eyes lock onto the hickeys, "pretty," he says as he grabs my jaw, his thumb brushing over the bruised, sensitive skin.
Matt grabs my ass as he moves me slightly up, positioning his dick against my entrance before pushing me down, I let my head fall on the nape of his neck as my elbows rest on his shoulders, my hands roaming his hair, I let out a moan as I start to move my hips.
"You feel so good princess," Matt groans, his hand tightly around my waist as the other one holds a tight grasp on my ass, his nails digging into my skin as I become a hot mess on top of him. "Matt," I moan out, my movements are sloppy and sensual.
"We can't be gone for too long," Matt whispers in my ear and suddenly fastens his thrusts underneath me. A sudden feeling of overbearing pleasure comes over me as I throw my head back no longer able to control my breath, moans and whimpers leave my mouth before I bite my lower lip trying to be quiet. "Baby don't be quiet, I'll make you scream my name," Matt growls deeply as his hand travels to my lower back holding me for support.
"Will you?" I manage to slip out between my moans as I start to grind faster on his cock. "You're such a brat," he says as his hand wraps around my hair pulling my head backward. His lips attack my collarbone, he's sucking and pulling on my skin slipping in a few bites, I hiss at the pain, "not so brave anymore huh," he says as he detaches from my collarbone before leaving a trail of kisses up my neck before meeting my lips.
"I'm," I whimper, my hands roaming around for something to hold onto as I feel my climax approach me. "You're?" Matt asks proudly as he's the one making me unable to finish my sentence. "Close," I manage to moan out between his hard thrusts and my grinding as we move in sync. "What was that huh?" He chuckles. I grab the collar of his shirt to pull myself together as I gather my strength to form a sentence.
"I'm so close Matt don't stop," I blur out, I feel my walls closing around his twitching cock. "You take my dick so well baby," Matt moans out sending me over the edge. "Matt," I scream out as my orgasm takes over me. Matt lets out a low growl-like moan, as I feel his seed pumping into me. I push my lips against his in order not to scream as I ride out my high.
"Oh my god Matt," I say as I move off of his cock and back to the seat next to him. "You did so good princess," he says as he leans in and kisses my forehead before he pulls up his pants. "We should get back," Matt says and I nod in agreement. I take Nick's sweater and pull it over my head putting it on.
As we step out of the car, I close the door and fix my short denim skirt and I see Matt fixing his belt. "I'm gonna leave the window slightly open," he says slightly chuckling pointing to the windows that had fully fogged up and I let out a small laugh as well.
"What took you two so long," Nick says as he looks at us and we try not to look suspicious. "We were talking," I say confidently, I see Nick shifting his eyes from Matt to me, and his eyes fall down to my neck as a smirk appears on his lips, "you got something here," Nick says as he brushes over his own neck with two fingers. My eyes immediately shoot to Matt as I slap his shoulder from the back.
I guess there definitely was some sexual tension between us that needed to be resolved.
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coquelicoq · 28 days ago
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how to write a sympathy card
so someone you know recently lost a loved one and you would like to extend your sympathy, but you have no idea what to say. here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. i did not even try to keep this short, so i've broken it up into four sections: general advice, what to include, some example cards i've written, and takeaways.
general advice
first, if you're reading this i'll assume that you have decided to express your sympathy in some way and just don't know how. the thing about doing this is it will always feel inadequate. it will often feel very awkward. you may be worried that everything you say sounds weirdly insincere even if it isn't. i'm here to tell you that that is all okay and normal and to be expected. i've written a lot of sympathy cards and afterwards i've never been like "wow, i nailed it!" and yet i've gotten a lot of comments from people thanking me for showing up even when all i did was send a measly insufficient card, because most people don't do that. it will mean something to the person that you did it at all, even if it's not perfect.
should you send your sympathy in a card or some other method? if you never send mail, if you don't have their address, if you don't even own stamps, maybe sending a card is not for you. but everything below also applies to an email you could send. i personally prefer a card because i like the physicality; it's something they can keep and look at later if they want to, and it's a way of showing a small amount of deliberation and care (i went to the store and picked this out; i sat down and handwrote this). more importantly, i feel like there's less pressure to respond to a card than an email, and a phone call can be overwhelming to someone who is already dealing with a lot of shit, while a card is just there whenever they feel up to looking at it. but that is entirely my own perspective; there are differences culturally as well as personally. you should do what makes sense for you.
do think about what you're trying to accomplish by sending this card. you may not be able to make things better, but you are certainly trying not to make things harder. one example of this might be: if your friend has just lost her mother, you might have a lot of complicated feelings about this that aren't really about your friend or her mother specifically (you also have a mother!), and that's natural and okay, but those feelings would perhaps be best to share with other friends of yours who didn't just lose their mother. another example: it's okay to be worried about your friend and how they're doing, but try not to imply that they owe you updates or that they're causing you a lot of stress by not keeping you in the loop. (of course, if they are instead sharing more with you than you can handle, it's important to set boundaries around that! though probably not through the mechanism of a sympathy card.)
it is okay to keep it really short and generic. again, i think just the act of thinking to get a card, getting a card, writing something in it, and mailing it already means something regardless of what is written in it. if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to say, it is okay to keep it to "I'm thinking of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss." i also sometimes add "I don't know what to say, except that [I'm thinking of you, etc.]."
one thing i've learned that makes this harder is that you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. you may be thinking, "i also lost a parent, so i know how it feels," but you only know how you felt about it. there are infinite ways to feel about losing someone, including:
sadness for the deceased, that their life is over
sadness for themself, that the deceased is gone
sadness for the other people who lost the deceased
fear of their own mortality
fear of dying in the same way
fear of how their life is going to change without the deceased
relief that the deceased is no longer suffering
relief that their caretaking duties are over
relief that the deceased can no longer mistreat them
anger at the deceased for dying or for not doing something before they died
anger at god
anger at others/self for contributing to their death or not saving them
overwhelm from all the logistical things there are to deal with when someone dies
overwhelm from all the emotions
confusion at their own reaction
guilt for outliving the deceased
guilt for not feeling sadder or for feeling other things in addition to sadness (or for being numb/in shock)
this is an incomplete list!!!
i try not to project onto my friend or put words in their mouth, because it can be very isolating to be told how other people think you should feel if that's not exactly how you feel. because you're sending them a sympathy card, there is some baseline assumption that there is something to feel sympathy about. but beyond that i try to be careful not to get super specific about how "you must be feeling" or how hard "this must be". generally i try to avoid the word "must" because it implies that there is a certain way this is supposed to go, when there isn't.
if i know that they are struggling in some way but haven't talked to them much about it, i personally usually feel okay saying "Loss is hard" or "It's hard to lose someone", which might seem similar to "This must be hard", but avoids the word "must" and the direct reference to their situation ("loss" in general vs. "the particular instance of loss you are experiencing"). if i don't know much at all about how they're doing, i might say "Loss can be hard", which presumes even less, or i might not directly mention the difficulty of loss at all.
but also, it's okay to be more specific and personalized if you have been in contact with your friend as they've been processing the situation. it's good to acknowledge specific feelings that they've told you about, but try to also leave room for other feelings and/or ways their feelings might have changed.
what to include
here are some categories of sentiments you may want to include (all optional!):
thinking of you: even though it's kind of self-evident that you're thinking about them, this is something that is always appropriate to say and always nice to hear. examples: You're in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you often.
wishing you comfort/support: comfort and support are very safe things to wish somebody because they don't assume anything very specific about how they're feeling, and they express care for their wellbeing without putting pressure on them to be fine. I hope you can find moments of comfort in the coming days. I hope you're feeling supported by friends and family.
sorry for your loss: this is one of those things everyone knows is a stock phrase, but it's the kind of stock phrase that imo actually communicates something, so i do generally use it. I'm so sorry for your loss.
my heart goes out to you: this stock phrase is a little iffier, meaning it can be kind of a toss-up on whether or not it will sound insincere. it might depend on how close you are to the person. use your discretion. again, even things that sound insincere to you can still mean a lot to the recipient. My heart goes out to you. My heart is with you.
i'm here for you: offer logistical and/or emotional support if you want to and if you're reasonably sure that you could provide it. if you're able to be specific, that can be very helpful; one thing that can be overwhelming in the aftermath of a loss is dealing with lots of people wanting to help and having to come up with ways for them to do that. Please reach out anytime if it would help to talk about it. If you ever need to be distracted, I'm good at that! I'd love to bring over some food/help out with chores and errands; I'll text you to see if that would be helpful and not disruptive.
prayers: if you and the recipient are both religious/spiritual and it feels right to say, you could say "I'm keeping you in my prayers" or similar, in addition to or in lieu of "I'm thinking of you." if you are religious but the recipient isn't (or you're not sure if they are), i suggest not saying this, but use your judgment. some people don't mind hearing that someone is praying for them even if they don't believe in prayer and may in fact expect you to say it if you are known as someone who often expresses care through prayer, but for others, this can be actively offensive. i would say when in doubt, stick to "thoughts" instead of "prayers". You're in my prayers. I'm praying for you.
there are many ways to grieve: this one is harder to describe, but i like to include something that validates whatever the recipient may be feeling, despite not knowing how the recipient is feeling. the downside of a card is that it's not in real time, so you really have no way of knowing how your friend is feeling when they read it, even if you talked to them previously and know how they were feeling during that conversation. so i like to, in addition to not assuming any particular emotions, make space for the fact that their emotions may be shifting in ways that are confusing or distressing. but you have to be kind of vague about it, because you don't even know if that's happening. I hope you have the space to grieve in whatever way you need to/is meaningful for you. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you.
you may want to express your own grief over the loss of this person, if you knew them. i think this can be comforting for the recipient to hear, but i suggest keeping it brief and not overwrought. the last thing you want is for your friend to feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own. if you can, do the below instead of or in addition to this.
now i will share my LIFE HACK!! for the very best thing to put in a sympathy card. this will not always be possible, because it relies upon a) you yourself having a relationship with the deceased (which is not always the case) and b) you being able to remember things (which i often cannot, especially when i'm sad). but if you can, i highly suggest something along the lines of the following.
say what you will remember the deceased for. (I will remember them for their wry sense of humor. I will remember them as a compassionate/driven/curious person.)
give an example of a memory you have of them in which they exemplified that characteristic.
if you can't do both, it's also good to do just one and not the other. if you have a favorite memory but it's too hard to think of adjectives to attribute to them, just share the memory. if you tend to think of them as [positive adjective] but no specific evidence is coming to mind, that's okay, this isn't a debate. in general it is comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.
example cards
i will now give some examples of cards i've written. these all feel really awkward and inadequate to me, and you can see i didn't always stick to my own advice! but they were all deeply appreciated.
[to my coworker. i didn't have much detail except knowing her dad had been in the hospital a lot, and she was sad that he died]
I was so sorry to hear about your father. It seems like the last few years have been hard on your family, and loss is especially hard. I hope you are able to take the time you need to be with your family and cherish your memories of him together.
[to my friend's mother after the passing of her husband. i knew from talking to my friend that her mom was struggling especially with outliving him, because she was sick and had expected for a long time to die before him]
I'm thinking about you and [friend's name] a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is so hard. Adjusting to their absence is, too. I hope that you're finding moment of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. He will be missed. I will remember him for his wry sense of humor; I still have a "card" from him on my fridge (he cut out a sample "thank you" card greeting that said "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention" from a list of things to write in different kinds of cards (a sample message for a "Get Well Soon" card was on the back, crossed out) and simply added my name at the top and his name at the bottom. It's one of my favorite pieces of mail I've ever received and it's been on my fridge for many years). I am so sorry that he's gone. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.
[to my close friend and her husband i don't know as well, after a late-term abortion for a baby they had been very excited to raise. in this case i knew some of my friend's feelings, but not her husband's, and while i knew that many things about the pregnancy had been hard (lots of waiting for test results about the viability of the fetus, for one thing), i didn't want to imply that the decision to abort was hard, because my friend said it wasn't]
I'm thinking of you both lots. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It sounds like it's been a difficult and fraught process, and I hope you're getting space and time to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. I hope you're getting whatever kind of support you need. If there's anything I can do to help, whether logistical or emotional, please let me know. I would love to be of service to you. I wish I knew what to say. You've just had such a fantastically shitty year. I do believe that things will get lighter for you both, and I hope that happens soon. Take care, and know you are cherished.
[to my grandmother after the loss of her estranged brother, when i was extremely unsure how she was feeling about it and had my own complicated emotions]
I just wanted to send you a card to say I'm thinking of you. Mom let me know about Uncle [name]. I know things had been strained for many years and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I'm sorry to hear that he's passed. I hope that you and [grandmother's sister] are able to reminisce in whatever way feels appropriate and meaningful to you. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm thinking of you, I love you, and I'm sorry. It was really nice to see you at [family member's] graduation the other day. The next time we're together, I look forward to giving you such a big hug! I feel very lucky to be your granddaughter and to have you in my life.
[to my grandmother after the loss of my 38yo cousin, which was hitting me really hard]
I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and that I'm thinking of you, and [cousin], and [uncle], and [father], every day. It's so hard to lose someone, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My grief is a strange animal that sneaks up on me at the strangest times. I hope you are finding moments of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. I'm looking forward to the day when I can hug you in person.
[to my close friend on the loss of her father after a long illness. she had been leaning on me for support, as another person who has lost someone after a long illness]
I'm thinking about you lots. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you. Loss is hard even when you know it's coming and even when you get to say goodbye. I hope you are finding comfort and feeling how loved you are. He was a special person, and I'm so sorry he's left you. I know part of him will live on in you and the other people who learned from and admired him. It's still so hard to lose him, and grief is a strange animal. Take care. Reach out anytime. I love you so much.
takeaways
it will probably feel inadequate to you, but chances are it will still be appreciated.
remember that though you may not be able to make things better, you are trying not to make things harder.
it is okay to keep it really short and generic.
you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. there are many ways to grieve. that said, it's nice to acknowledge any specific feelings your friend has expressed to you, while also leaving room for other feelings you may not know about.
if you want to offer support, it can help a lot to be specific in how you are able and willing to help.
it is usually comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.
even if you do it awkwardly, just the act of reaching out is meaningful! people don't know you're thinking about them unless you tell them.
and remember to take care of yourself, too! watching friends lose loved ones can be hard for you as well for a variety of reasons. reach out to other friends for support when you need it.
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archaeren · 6 months ago
Note
Hello!! I hope you're having a good day ^^ I came across your post about writing non-linearly on Notion and I'm excited to try it out because the advice resonated with me! Though, I'm really new to using the app and, if possible, need help with how to do this part: 'where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry.' ;v;
Hello! Thank you so much for messaging!!! Since that post about writing non-linearly (linked for context) blew up roughly ten thousand times as much as anything I've ever posted, I've been kind of meaning to make a followup post explaining more about how I use Notion for writing non-linearly, but, you know, ADHD, so I haven't done it yet. XD In the meantime, I'll post a couple screenshots of my current long fic with some explanations! I'd make this post shorter, but I'm unable to not be Chatty. XD (just ask my poor readers how long my author notes are...) (There is a phone app as well which syncs with the desktop/browser versions, but I work predominantly in the desktop app so that's what I'm gonna be showing)
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(the table keeps going off the right side of the image but it's a bunch of unimportant stuff tbh) So this is more complicated than what you'll probably start with because I'm Normal and add a bunch of details that you might not need depending on what you're doing. For example, my fic switches POVs so I have a column for tracking that, and my fic follows a canon timeline so I have a column for dates so I can keep track of them, and I also made columns for things like if a scene had spoilers or certain content readers may want to avoid, which they can access in my spoiler and content guide for the fic. (As I said, I'm Normal.) I also do some complicated stuff using Status and estimated wordcount stuff to get an idea of how long I predict the content to be, but again, not necessary. Anyway, you don't need any of that. For the purposes of this explanation, we're just gonna look at the columns I have called Name, Order, and Status. (And one called Part, but we'll get into that later) Columns in Notion have different types, such as Text, Numbers, Select, Date, etc, so make sure to use the type that works best for the purpose of each column! For example, here I'm using Select for Character POVs, Number for Order and WC (wordcount), and Text for the In-Game Date. Okay let's get into it! Name is a column that comes in a Notion table by default, and you can't get rid of it (which drives me up the wall for some purposes but works totally fine for what we're doing here). As you can see on the scene I've labeled 'roll call', if you hover over a Name entry, a little button called 'Open' appears, which you click on to open the document that's inside the table. That's all default, you don't have to set anything up for it. Here's a screenshot of what it looks like when I click the one titled 'I will be anything for you' (I've scrolled down in the screenshot so you can see the text, but all the data fields also appear at the top of the page)
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(This view is called 'side peek' meaning the document opens on one side and you can still see the table under it on the left, which is what mine defaults to. But you can set it to 'center peek' or 'full page' as well.) All my scenes have their own entry like this! Note that I've said scenes, not chapters. I decide the chapters later by combining the scenes in whatever combination feels right, which means I can often decide in advance where my chapter endings will be. This helps me consciously give most of my endings more impact than I was usually able to do when I tried to write linearly. So hopefully that gives you an idea of what I mean by writing inside the table and treating the table as a living outline. The 'Status' column is also pretty straightforward, and might require a little setup for whatever your needs are. This is another default column type Notion has which is similar to a Select but has a few more specialized features. This is how mine is set up:
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(I don't actually use 'Done', idk why I left it there. Probably I should replace it with 'Posted' and use that instead of the checkmark on the far left? whatever, don't let anyone tell you I'm organized. XDD)
Pretty straightforward, it just lets me see easily what's complete and what still needs work. (You'll notice there's no status for editing, because like I mentioned in my other post, I don't ever sit down to consciously edit, I just let it happen as I reread) Obviously tailor this to your own needs! The Order column is sneakily important, because this is what makes it easy for me to keep the scenes organized. I set the Sort on the table to use the Order to keep the scene ordered chronologically. When I make the initial list of scenes I know the fic will have, I give all of them a whole number to put them in order of events. Then as I write and come up with new scene ideas, the new scenes get a number with a decimal point to put them in the spot they fit in the timeline. (you can't see it here, but some of them have a decimal three or four digits deep, lol). Technically you can drag them to the correct spot manually, but if you ever create another View in your table (you can see I have eight Views in this one, they're right under the title) it won't keep your sorting in the new View and you'll hate yourself when it jumbles all your scenes. XD (And if you get more comfortable with Notion, you probably will at some point desire to make more Views) The Part column isn't necessary, but I found that as the fic grew longer, I was naturally separating the scenes into different points along the timeline by changes in status quo, etc. (ex. "this is before they go overseas" "this is after they speak for the first time", stuff like that) in my mind. To make it easier to decide where to place new scenes in the timeline, I formalized this into Parts, which initially I named with short summaries of the current status quo, and later changed to actual titles because I decided it would be cool to actually use them in the fic itself. Since it's not in the screenshots above, here's what the dropdown for it looks like:
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(I've blocked some of the titles out for spoiler reasons)
Basically I only mention the Parts thing because I found it was a useful organizational tool for me and I was naturally doing it in my head anyway. Anyway, I could keep talking about this for a really long time because I love Notion (don't get me started on how I use toggle blocks for hiding content I've edited out without deleting it) but that should be enough to get started and I should really, you know, not make this another insanely long post. XDD And if anybody is curious about how the final results look, the fic can be found here.
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mysteryshoptls · 29 days ago
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SSR Jamil Viper - Nightmare Suit Vignette
”From all the children to the witches flying through the sky”
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[Halloween Town – Dr. Finkelstein's Lab]
Jamil: Sally-san, I've made a dish sample. Could I ask you to taste test it?
Sally: Of course, I don't mind at all. In fact, I was waiting for you to say something, since it had been smelling good for some time now…
Jamil: Is that so. Well, I do hope it suits your taste… Try it with this sauce here.
Sally: There are a lot of finely chopped ingredients in this sauce. I wonder how it will taste.
Sally: …Oh, this is delicious! You really brought forth the flavor of the herbs.
Jamil: That's right. Do you think the others in Halloween Town will like it?
Sally: I know I like it. But hm… I think the folks in this town would prefer it to be a little more acidic.
Jamil: A little more acidic, I see. Should I add more vinegar, or add fruit to the sauce…?
Sally: There was that one plant with the huge leaves, remember? What if you were to chop up the stem and cook it together?
Jamil: Huge leaves…? I think I know which ones you're talking about, but just in case, can you point out…
???: Sally, help me out here. At this rate, I'll lose my head.
Sally: Jack…! You look so troubled. What's going on?
Jack Skellington: No matter how much I think about it, I can't figure it out, so I feel like I'm going crazy. I need your advice.
Jamil: …Looks as though this is a serious matter. I'll leave you two be.
Jamil: Now that I have received Sally's thoughts, I'll proceed with fixing the dishes. The two of you should have a good talk together…
Sally/Jack Skellington: WAIT!!
Jamil: Eh?
Jack Skellington: I'd like you to listen to what I have to say too, Jamil-kun. I need to figure out a way out of this funk.
Sally: I'd like to ask your help as well. There's no way we can leave Jack like this. Please, help him.
Jamil: …O-Okay, then. If both of you are going to insist like that, I'll join in.
Jamil: So, what's the issue you need help with?
Jack Skellington: It's about the Halloween preparations. I heard that in your world, you guys do some sort of "illumination" event.
Jack Skellington: So I had this thought… What if the Jack-o'-Lanterns light up right as I appear?
Jack Skellington: Wouldn’t it be grand if the lanterns lit up one by one as I walk forward!?
Jack Skellington: …Only, I just can't figure out how to get the timing of everything being lit up right.
Jamil: Wait, so you've already decided to do it!? Shouldn't you determine whether it's actually feasible, first…?
Sally: This is how Jack always works. Once he comes up with something, he won't back down.
Jack Skellington: Sally, Jamil-kun. Please, give me some good ideas!
Sally/Jamil: …...
Jamil: Well… An illumination would definitely liven things up.
Jamil: Back in our world, we have certain programming…
Jamil: We generally have people with specialized knowledge use specific tech to control that sort of illumination.
Jack Skellington: Well, that's wonderfully useful to know. Is that something we would be able to do, as well?
Jamil: I wouldn't really know how to do it. Even in our world, there are only a handful of people who would be able to pull it off.
Jack Skellington: Hmm… I wonder if there's any way we can make it happen.
Jamil: Right… What if you were to ask Dr. Finkelstein?
Jamil: I hear he's an excellent scientist. He may come up with a good answer.
Jack Skellington: I see, you're right! I wonder if he's at home right now.
Sally: No, he's out, helping with preparations. I think he should be in the town center…
Jack Skellington: Alright. Well then, I'll head off to find him!
Jamil: I do hope you find a solution. And with that, I'll go back to finishing my work.
Jack Skellington: What are you talking about, Jamil-kun! You're coming with me!
Jack Skellington: I have no knowledge of how things work in your world. I need you to explain things to the Doctor for me!
Jamil: No, wait, I need to finish preparing the food… Sally-san, can't you back me up here?!
Sally: Once Jack starts saying something, he doesn't listen to anything else.
Sally: I'll let Trey-kun and the others know, so… Please take care of Jack for me.
Jack Skellington: Thanks, Sally. Okay, now that that's settled, let's go right now!
Jack Skellington: COME, COME, HURRY, HURRY!
Jamil: Fine. I understand, I'll join you. …Why am I always resigned to the same sort of role wherever I go?
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[Halloween Town – Center]
Jack Skellington: Alright, we made it to the town center. The Doctor should be setting the decorations up around here somewhere.
[nyoom!]
Jamil: !! Jack-san, stand back!
[thud! roll, roll…]
Jamil: Why did half a pumpkin come flying at us!?
Jamil: Oh, it's been sliced so beautifully… Wait, I mean, what just happened?
Halloween Town Resident: Huh? Oh hey, it's Jack and Jamil! You guys just showed up out of the blue, that surprised us!
Jamil: We should be the ones saying that! Was it you who threw that pumpkin at us?
Halloween Town Resident: No, not at all! We didn't do anything! It was all because of this big guy slicing that pumpkin in two.
Jamil: This big guy?
Jamil: Are you talking about this thing with the huge cutter? It just looks like it's a sharp blade held between two long poles.
Jamil: They're using something this big just to slice pumpkins in half? Or maybe… nah, it can't be.
Jack Skellington: Oh, is this your first time seeing something like this? Then, I bet you don't know about this huge box with all these spikes inside.
Jamil: This big box…? I'm afraid I don't. What is it used for?
Vampire: It's to squeeze the life out of… fresh juice! Heeheehee!
Jamil: Ach! He just popped out of nowhere, said his piece and then left again…
Jamil: But seriously, juice? I feel like this would be pretty difficult to use to squeeze fruits… I think I won't think further about it.
???: Ah, Jack-san. So, you were over here. I've come to collect you.
Jamil: Jade? What do you mean collect him?
Jade: As soon as he heard of the concept of illumination, he said, "This won't be enough!" and ran off so forlornly…
Jade: And so, were you able to concoct some brilliant idea, Jack-san?
Jack Skellington: Well, that's… Not yet. I haven't come across something that just screams "This is it!" yet.
Jade: If you find yourself in a quandary, please don't feel the need to keep it bottled up inside yourself. Both I and Azul would be happy to be of help.
Jamil: Hey, don't try to peddle your business here of all places. Seriously, you Octavinelle folk are always on the lookout for opportunity.
Jamil: We're actually searching for Dr. Finkelstein to ask for his advice. Have you seen him at all?
Jade: I'm afraid I haven't. Vil-san should be helping out nearby, perhaps you could ask him?
Jamil: Vil-senpai…? Oh, that might work! Jack-san, what if we were to ask Vil-san for his thoughts?
Jamil: He's an actor… He has experience in working on projects that garner a lot of attention, so he may be helpful for not only the illumination, but also on various ways to implement it.
Jack Skellington: Is that right? I might be able to really learn something by talking to him. Let's head over to Vil-kun right away!
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Jamil: Vil-senpai, thanks for taking the time. We were hoping to get your take on something for Halloween…
Jamil: Jack-san is saying that he'd like to appear before everyone in a very flashy manner, with a resounding illumination.
Vil: The most important scene to prepare in any production is when the main character appears, yes. I support your plan to enhance that moment. However…
Vil: Halloween Town doesn't have any sort of specialized equipment of that sort… I feel as though it would be difficult to set up some elaborate lighting scheme as of right now.
Malleus: There's no need to use any human-made equipment. I can enhance Skellington's appearance with my magic.
Jamil: Right, using this guy was also an option, hm.
Malleus: Would you be wreathed in light? Shall we raise fireworks into the sky? Ah, or perhaps we could make it snow.
Jack Skellington: Oooh…! That's amazing, Malleus-kun! I bet you could even make it rain bugs to frighten every…
Vil/Jamil: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vil: You want to rain down bugs? Absurd! That idea is the worst thing I've ever heard.
Jamil: YEAH! …Ahem. Pardon my outburst.
Jamil: Jack-san, you're the Pumpkin King. Should you not rely on your own strengths to give your townsfolk a scare, instead of using bugs?
Jamil: Even if we were to secure Malleus-senpai's cooperation… This is the only time we'll be able to help you with this, Jack-san.
Jamil: Next time, you'll have to bring about Halloween by yourselves, just like your previous years.
Jamil: If we were to implement a method that can even be executed by the others in this town, then it can be utilized for future years down the road.
Jack Skellington: Jamil-kun… You're an inspiration! You were not only thinking of this Halloween, but for the next ones, too.
Jack Skellington: I get it. I won't rely on magic or bugs. Let's think of something that all of us Halloween Town residents can do.
Malleus: Hm… It seems I am unneeded. Call me if you change your mind.
[Malleus leaves]
Jade: Oh, my… Is he sulking, now?
Vil: He isn't that much of a child… I'm sure. Come now, let's get this discussion started.
Jamil: So, we need to come up with a method to give him a grand appearance without any specialized equipment, or using magic, huh…
Vil: Yes… This may be a cliché, but what about an entrance while riding something?
Vil: The higher up one is, the easier it would be to garner the attention of others as opposed to simply walking. We can even make sure the spotlight is on one focal point.
Jade: That's a good idea. Just like how the tales of the mermaid princess even tell of how her father, the king, would appear before everyone on a chariot pulled by dolphins.
Jamil: I actually was reminded of the legend of the princess of the oasis that's prevalent in the Scalding Sands.
Jamil: With golden camels, peacocks, and various other animals and dancers in tow…
Jamil: A young man presented himself before her in an extravagant parade.
Jamil: Hmm, a parade…
Jamil: Jack-san, I've thought of something good.
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[Halloween Town – Center]
Jamil: Jack-san, I've thought of something good.
Jack Skellington: I see that gleam in your eye… You look pretty proud of yourself. What kind of plan do you have up your sleeve?
Jamil: We should throw a parade.
Jade: A parade?
Jade: Back at Night Raven College… At our school, we tend to have one as a finale on Halloween.
Jamil: That's right. We tend to have one at the start of our feasts in Scarabia, as well. …More often than not.
Vil: A parade would definitely be grand and lively. It's not a bad idea to keep the audience's attention.
Vil: However, wouldn't we require a large number of people to put on a parade?
Vil: Do you intend on having the townsfolk learn how to parade march?
Jamil: Not at all. The only one who will be in the parade will be Jack-san.
Jack Skellington: Just me?
Jamil: Ah, well, of course, we'll still need all hands on deck to help…
Jamil: All the townsfolk are looking forward to seeing how you'll arrive on Halloween day.
Jamil: We couldn't possibly ask them to march behind you in the parade!
Jamil: Instead, we need to make sure your gallant appearance is firmly burned into their mind.
Jack Skellington: You're right. It's just like you say, Jamil-kun! I want all my fellow residents to see me clearly.
Jamil: And so, that's where Vil-senpai's earlier idea comes into play.
Jack Skellington: His earlier idea…? Oh, you mean where I arrive while riding something.
Jack Skellington: Jade-kun mentioned the story with the dolphin pulling the chariot. And what was it Jamil-kun said again…?
Jamil: Ah, I hadn't actually mentioned what he rode, right. That young man presented himself riding in on the back of an elephant…
Jack Skellington: An "elephant"? We don't have such a creature in Halloween Town.
Jamil: An elephant is an extremely large animal with a long nose, magnificent tusks, and large ears.
Jack Skellington: I can just imagine something utterly frightful just from that description. I'm getting chills.
Jade: Well, we can't have that. I suppose we should hurry and find an elephant and bring it here to Halloween Town as soon as possible, then!
Jamil: Hey, don't just throw that out there!
Jade: What do you mean? I am simply attempting to accommodate Jack-san's request.
Vil: Jamil's doing all he can to wrap this up quickly, don't cause any unnecessary issues.
Jade: But it would be no fun if the plan were to go off so smoothly without a hitch.
Jamil: It's not like someone like you from Octavinelle would do something without taking a fee, anyway. So, shut up and just let me deal with this!
Jack Skellington: Hey, what are the three of you whispering about over there?
Jamil: We were simply discussing his idea on bringing an elephant into town.
Jamil: As a concept, I don't think it's terrible. However…
Jack Skellington: Oh, is there something problematic about it?
Jamil: Jack-san, you said that you'd want everyone to be able to see you clearly.
Jamil: But if you were to ride on the back of a large elephant…
Jamil: Wouldn't there be people who wouldn't be able to see your expressions, let alone your silhouette?
Jamil: And we want everyone from those brats― I mean from all the children to the witches flying through the sky to see you!
Jack Skellington: Oh no. So if I do that, not everyone will be able to enjoy themselves…
Jack Skellington: I would have loved to have seen an elephant, myself… But I suppose we should leave that for another time.
Jack Skellington: Ahhh, we've come full circle… Urgh… What should I do?
Jamil: THUS!! What if you were to ride a horse?
Jamil: There are many scenes in movies and fairy tales in which a king would appear before his people while riding a horse. Right, Vil-senpai?
Vil: That's true, it does tend to give them a heroic aura. For this production, it doesn't have to be a real one. We only need to make it look just as striking.
Jack Skellington: A horse… A horse, huh! Yeah, that sounds perfect. Now it feels like the last piece of the puzzle just clicked into place!
Jack Skellington: Oh, what if we were to gather up some straw to make a horse? I want to make it look terrifying to perfectly suit the King of Halloween.
Jamil: You want to make a straw horse? That's definitely not something I've ever seen back in my world. What a brilliant idea, Jack-san.
Jamil: Ah, lovely, I'm glad that we've assuaged your worries. I'm looking forward to Halloween day!
Jade: It seems as though everything has wrapped up without any further issues. Although, I can't help but feel a little disappointed…
Jade: You were able to bring some almost impossible request back into the realm of feasibility without rejecting it outright…
Jade: Heh, if anyone could have done it, it would've been you, Jamil-san. I guess it's to be expected… since you're so experienced in dealing with unreasonable behavior.
Vil: Indeed. On top of that, he even found a way to utilize my strengths… Looks like everything was settled thanks to your careful thinking.
???: Jack, Jamil-kun!
Jamil: Sally-san, what are you doing here?
Sally: You didn't come back, so I started to get worried. Have you all decided how Halloween will be kicked off yet?
Jack Skellington: Yeah! Jamil-kun gave us a spectacular idea.
Sally: Well, now...! I'm so happy to see a huge smile on your face, Jack. It's all thanks to Jamil, I'm sure.
Sally: I don't know if me or the other townsfolk would've been able to clear up his worries.
Sally: I only wish Jamil-kun could stay in this town forever…
Jack Skellington: That's a great idea! You should stay here in Halloween Town and help us prepare for Halloween forever.
Jamil: I am beyond honored to have such high praise from the both of you.
Sally/Jack Skellington: So, then…!
Jamil: I appreciate your invitation, but I'll have to respectfully decline.
Jamil: Back home, there are many things that would fall apart without my assistance… I worry for the people I left behind.
Jack Skellington: I see… Well, that's a shame. You truly are a prudent guy. I totally understand why so many rely on you.
Jamil: Thank you.
Jamil: While I'm here… No, while we're here we'll make sure this Halloween will go smoothly.
Jamil: Let's make this Halloween the most enjoyable and scariest one yet.
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Requested by @farfalla049.
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hancyan · 5 months ago
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World Downloads(Added information about rabbithole rug).
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Hi everyone! First of all, I must apologize. Regarding my previous post about "Victorian Sunset Valley", I deleted it because there was a problem with the save file. There is no problem with the empty world.
I'm really sorry to all the simmers who downloaded, liked, reblogged and commented.
It seems that the problem can be solved by separating the save files, so I decided to share it again. There are no changes to the empty world, so if you have it, please try again.
❖Empty World There are just a Public Lots, a Farm District, and Goth Manor.The two hilltop mansions don't exist yet. This is Sunset Valley long before Mortimer Goth was born.If there is a historic town you have in mind, you are free to build it here.
※An empty world requires the store item "Artemis Temple Frieze (Muse Luxury)".
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❖Save files You can enjoy the Victorian era right away, but there are no film careers, universities, or diving spots. There are a few empty plots, so feel free to add them.
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This time, I did not build any houses. I only built some public lots, but I changed the color of the buildings I shared before and placed them. The Equestrian Center of EA is very conspicuous, so I built a small racetrack. There is a fire station of EA next to it, but it does not blend in with the scenery very well, so I am thinking of rebuilding it someday.
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The address of @ri-el's Sherlock Holmes residence is 221B Baker Street. I wanted to place this residence on the main street, so I set the lot size specifically. Then I placed the lot built by @nornities to match the cafe next door and the stairs leading to the harbor across the road. The harbor is a bit of a tourist area, with trade ships, sightseeing ships, and passenger ships arriving and departing. Some Sims may come to see the steamships, so I prioritized placing it here. There are also lots of great builds by other creators included. Thank you.
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Every house has some sort of vehicle (either a horse-drawn carriage or a historic bicycle), and the sight of so many carriages going around town is truly impressive!
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It looks heavy, but if you can play the EA Store worlds then I don't think it will be an issue.
Basically, it is a town for enjoying historical play such as the Victorian or Edwardian, but I think it can also be enjoyed in normal play.
The decoration is minimal, so feel free to edit it however you like and have fun.
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Residential 38 Community 40 Empty 8
Please download the carriage from below.
@barnacleboots
Two-Horse Carriage conversion
The new carriage is here too.(I'll advertise it)
@danjaley
Schoolbus Default and Driveable Wagon
Car Default Replacements
❖World (It remains "Sunset Valley Empty" because it has not been renamed.)
❖Save files
❖CC (Please be sure to download the "patterns" in the folder via the launcher.)
❖Store Content (You probably already have many of these. Use only what you don't have.) ⚠ If the store items you own are not reflected, try this.
※Sorry. To ensure a reliable download, they are separated.
Required
Every hilltop amusement park needs a boardwalk rollercoaster.
All EPs except ITF
Requires Sunlit Tides, Monte Vista, Midnight Hollow, Aurora Skies,Dragon Valley, and Roaring Heights.
You need a rabbithole rug.(Bookstore, Theater, Spa, Diner,Business ,Chemistry)If you don't have the same one, replace it with what you have.
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Thanks
Thank you for your kind words and advice, and for downloading and playing the town.@samkat10423
Long test play@ayaka-nonno
@nornities was kind enough to answer my beginner's questions.
And, even though you're busy, @yorithesims checked the final folder.
@blamseastore for converting and providing us with store content
CC Credit notation
Mutske, Around the Sims3, LunaSimsLulamai, mammut, armiel, Lisen801, LilyOfTheValley, MARTA'S SIMSBOOK, omedapixel, Cyclonesue, Awesims, Mspoodle, douglasveiga Thank you for the wonderful CC.
And especially a huge thanks to Sookielee at Custom Sims 3 for making the Sunset Valley CAW files available.
Anyway, some simmers, including @enjoji101, were concerned and encouraged me. And they asked me to share this town. I originally created this world for myself, but if there is even one simmer who is interested in this town and wants to play, I would be very honored and grateful. And I would like to make that wish come true. Thank you very much. I love you all.
※If you have any questions, please send me a message. (I would appreciate it if you could speak simple English. )
Have a smashing time! 
@pis3update @sssvitlanz @kpccfinds
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reareaotaku · 1 year ago
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can we please get more Judd :((((((
Of course! I have really conflicting views about the show Big Mouth. Though NGL, I loved Human Resources So, this is going to be like a part 2 in a way [Part 1 Here & Part 3 Here]
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He doesn't remember when he started to a crush on you, but it grew fast
And god he hated it so much. He wanted to stab these feelings and kill them
He bottled them for a long time and for a while it worked... Until it didn't
He would never admit he was jealous, but anyone could tell
One of those theater idiots decided to flirt with you and Judd wanted to bash the guy's head in with a brick
He doesn't but god he wants too
He introduces you to his raccoons
You think they're so cute and he [for a slight second] smiles a little, thinking you're adorable, but he shakes it off
He'll listen to your problems, even though he finds them annoying
You usually rant to him when you feel you can't talk to Leah about a certain topic or she's [Leah] not available
Though, you better not talk about a guy, because that doesn't go well
He'll give you advice on your problems, but it's usually something violent. Like saying you're having problems with your boss and Judd will tell you to just kick him down some stairs
^"Umm... I love your enthusiasm, but let's stay in the mindset of legal and morally acceptable advice"
It really isn't very good advice to you, because like I said, it's usually violence
Your father is a doctor and when you were getting something and you see Nick in the waiting room
"Nick?" He looks towards the voice, before his eyes widens and he awkwardly swishes around, "Hey, Y/n." "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" "I ate a weed gummy with my friend and I think I'm having a heart attack." You tilt your head at the freaked-out prepubescent boy. "Heart attack? I don't think you're having a heart attack, but you could be having a panic attack." "What the fuck is a panic attack?" Before you can answer, Judd jumps in asking what was going on. "What the hell are you doing here?" You both turn towards the male, who had his hand wrapped in some gauze. You pointed to it, "What happened to your hand?" "Raccoon accident." You decided not to question it and turned back towards Nick, "Are you okay, Nick?" "I don't know-" "What even happened to you, numbnuts?" Judd wanted to call his brother a dumbass, but he kept it to himself with you around. "I ate a weed gummy with Jessi and I think something's wrong with my heart." Judd rolls his eyes, "You're just stoned." "I didn't know that was a common thing when you were stoned." "It's not, he's just an idiot. Come on, you little pecker."
Judd feels like an idiot around you and it irrates the fuck out of him
He just wants to be himself, but he tones it down around you
Your parents don't like him
They think he's a future criminal and they're scared he'll either get you locked in jail, knocked up, or dead
And while he is Future Criminal, he would never get you in trouble
^ Leah thinks it's cute with how much her brother likes you
Judd is protective over you. If a guy is ever harassing you, something bad is going to happen to them and it may or may not be Judd's fault
If you ever want to be alone, especially at one of Leah's parties, just hang around him, because no one would dare approach you, especially if he has a hand around you or something
Nick uses you as a blackmail of sorts against Judd
"Well, I'll just let Y/n know that you're an asshole."
"I don't give a fuck."
"Y/n doesn't like assholes."
Judd roles his eyes, groaning, before gettting up and doing whatever Nick needs
If Judd says something stupid, Nick will ask you if you like the thing, annoying the fuck out of Judd
Leah thinks it's annoying that her brother's are always trying to steal you away from her or take away most of your time and attention
^ You're her friend not theirs
"You need to stay away from Y/n. She's my friend and you're a fucking loser."
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borderlinereminders · 2 months ago
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The DBT Cope Ahead skill is the one that I found most helpful at the beginning of my journey. Though this did involve some knowledge of others skills to do, it helped me be prepared for strong emotions and tough situations.
One of the things I recommend the most when giving advice is planning ahead. Planning out grounding techniques or coping skills that you can use to make it easier to recall and use those skills in stressful situations. This skill does that, but also makes plans for specific situations.
This skill is intended to help us plan for certain situations that invoke certain feelings. It can help us be prepared for stress. This goal of this skill is to formulate a plan so that we can effectively use our skills.
Step One - Think of a situation that may spark uncomfortable emotions.
This might be one that you know you've had before (like a struggle in a relationship, or something you struggle to cope with, or any number of things you think you could use help preparing for.) Then describe the situation. When describing the situation, try to identify feelings you think would be likely to come up. If relevant to you, what urges may come up as well? Perhaps you know that in the past you've felt angry. Maybe you know you've had a panic attack before. Maybe you know you've had urges to do something destructive.
Step Two - Decide what coping or skills you might use
For me, I sit down and I think about what the problems are, and then I look at how I can solve those problems.
If you know that you feel angry, how could you cope with that? For me, I know that walking away to collect my thoughts is the best way for me to handle my anger so I might write down that's what I'd do. I also may know I'd have urges to say something harmful, or lash out. In that case, I'd write down that I'd use my urge surfing skill.
If it's a relationship issue, what skills could you utilize to solve the problem? Skills like DEAR MAN can be effective for communicating effectively. Other interpersonal skills may also be useful here! FAST and GIVE are two others ones I like to use.
If I know I'll struggle to make a decision on what to do, I might also plan to use a skill like WISE MIND.
If it's something like I know I spiral anytime a friend cancels a plan, or something like that, I might familiarize myself with Check the Facts.
There are a lot of DBT skills, and coping methods outside of DBT that can be useful. Planning ahead can make it easier to recall what skills to use, and having practiced them beforehand can help make them easier to apply in a stressful situation.
Step Three - Imagine the scenario and rehearse how you'd handle it.
How do the skills you've picked fit into the possible situation? If it's a skill like WISE MIND, or DEAR MAN that have multiple steps to them, maybe write out how those steps may play out.
Practice this until you feel you could apply this skill. It's okay if this step isn't perfect. In fact, it's normal. It's okay to need to try and it a few times. It's okay for this skill to be a work in progress.
See below the read more for an example situation:
Step One - I know my friend has mentioned coming down with something. It's really possible that she cancels our plans this weekend. I know that if that happens, despite there being a valid reason, I start spiraling and thinking that she hates me. This spiraling can lead to me panicking, or lashing out.
Step Two - One way I can cope is to use my Urge Surfing skill to resist my urges to lash out at her. I can also use Check the Facts so that I can challenge the irrational thoughts. Another way I cope is by re-reading screenshots that affirm that she cares about me. If I still feel it's not resolved, I can ask my friend for reassurance in a healthy, non confrontational way.
Step Three - If my friend cancels my plans, I will tell her "Thank you for letting me know. I'm disappointed I won't get to see you, but I really hope that you feel better soon!"
Then I will step away to collect my thoughts, and take some deep breaths. I might use my 54321 method to ground myself. If I begin having urges to lash out and say "Okay, I get that you don't want to see me", I'll use my urge surfing skill and remind myself that I can ride this wave. Having an urge doesn't mean I need to act on it, and then I will remind myself it will pass.
I will open up the note on my phone that walks me through Check the Facts. Using this skill will help me challenge my thoughts. It will remind me that my spiraling thoughts that she always cancels and doesn't want to see me aren't true because she hung out with me recently. The fact that it feels she always cancels doesn't mean it's true. I might realize that while my emotions are valid, they don't "fit the facts". If I'm struggle to check the facts, I will reach out to my other friend to help me check the facts.
If after this, I am still feeling insecure or like spiraling, I might reach out to my friend and say 'Hey, I'm having a bad brain day. When you have some energy, could you please give me some reassurance?"
I might also ask if we can plan another hang out for when she's feeling better. Having a future plan might help my anxiety.
Knowing she is sick means she might not have the energy to answer me, and I will be prepared with other coping methods if that happens so I don't spiral. I will reach out to my other friend, put on a comfort show to distract myself, or use another self-soothing technique.
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lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me · 8 months ago
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⋆୨♡୧⋆l-l-love🤢⋆୨♡୧⋆
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as y/n walked to the hybe cafe, she immediately spotted riki, a head above the rest. so tall she could point him out in a crowd anywhere. she took a deep breath and took a moment to compose herself before eventually walking over to him. she tapped him on his shoulder as he was facing away from her. "oh! hey!" there it is that smile. to say she loved his smile would be an understatement. she thought it was the prettiest thing she'd ever seen and she nearly felt as if she was going to die at the sight of it. she couldn't help but smile back at him. "hey! how are you?" what he wanted to say was "so much better now that i'm with you", but what came out instead was "good. yeah, i'm good, what about you?" his eyebrow raised, it was single handedly the cutest thing y/n had ever seen. "i'm pretty good. doing a lot of schedules for debut, you know, usual stuff" could she be anymore awkward? clearly yes. first "thanks you too" and now "usual stuff" she felt like she wanted to disappear right then and there, but riki absolutely loved it. this whole time he thought she was so cool and calm, but really she's cute and awkward, which he secretly liked more than if she would have been chill. he finds himself staring at her for a moment before quickly catching himself "oh um- did you want food? I didn't get any cause i wasn't sure if you'd want anything." she smiled at his thoughtfulness and said "no thanks, i'm not super hungry right now. thank you though." he thought back to their conversation yesterday, the whole reason why they're here now. "so, you wanted some tips about mcing?" he asked. "oh! yeah. im kind of nervous, i have no idea what i'm doing and you've ben an mc before, so i was hoping you could give me some advice?" she was hoping this didn't come off as pathetic or anything. i mean, who needs advice on how to talk into a mic? y/n apparently. "well," he starts "for me, i find its best to interact with the fans while waiting for our speaking parts. it calms my nerves before speaking because i'm talking to people that support me. often times it's mostly your own fans watching you in person. that’s at least what sunghoon told me. and if you're worried about messing up lines or something, I'll be there to cover for you, reading from a prompter is hard, so if you mess up its okay. don't worry too much about it." she nodded along to his words, taking mental notes on his advice. "thank you, i really appreciate it. i don't know why im so nervous. its just talking into a mic to a camera." she sighs. "I mean, I understand. it's nerve wracking when it's your first time. I felt like that too when I mc'ed for MAMA one year. it can be scary talking in front of a bunch of people and trying not to mess up. that's why you have a co-host, me! if you do mess up, I can cover you so it doesn't look too much like an accident." her heart fluttered at that. over something so small? she knew it was corny, but she couldn't help it. she felt so strongly for him. she always thought that if she actually talked to him, this whole little crush would go away. but to her surprise, it only got stronger. "you know, since we're going to be working together, we should get each others numbers." her heart stopped, and so did his. hers in shock, and his in fear. what if she said no? what if she thought he was weird? did he really just ask her for her number? there's no way. she froze for a moment, but realized she really should probably respond to him "yeah! yeah of course!" riki was never more relieved in his life. he handed her his phone "here, put your number in." she took it from him and put in her number, texting herself. "there. i can send you a picture for my contact photo later" his heart raced, he had just gotten his crushes number, and she's going to send him a picture of herself later. could his life get any better then this? "okay, sure, yeah, that sounds good" he stammers. is he really flustered right now? oh my god she thought. as the two talked and laughed together, they figured out they're more similar then they thought they were.
the pair quickly growing closer in just mere hours, both feeing significantly strong for each other than when they first said hello earlier. as the time drew later, the two decided to end their night, quickly realizing the ghost town that the hype cafe had become. "oh- well, its late, and my members are blowing up my phone asking where I am" she laughed as she scrolled through the countless messages left by yunjin and hanni. 'yeah, I should probably go too. I told jay I'd help make dinner tonight" he sighed, wishing he didn't promise jay anything and he could hang out with y/n for longer. she laughed lightly "ill let you go then. text me though, okay?" what had come over her? did she really just say that? (y/ns version of flirting was a bit different then others, that being because she didn't know how to flirt) riki nodded and smiled "yeah, I'll text you. see you later!" he waved to her and started to walk away. she waved back and watched him go. she sat back down and sighed once he was out of her sight. she was so fucked. she was completely and utterly melted by him, and they had only just official met yesterday. maybe there was something wrong with her. but frankly, she didn't care. maybe she was being delusional like usual, but she was pretty sure she could see something there with riki.
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masterlist | next | previous
luckys note!: guys i’m so good at writing😎😎
© lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.
(📍) PERM TAGLIST IS OPEN!
(🩷) MIDNIGHT FICTION TAGLIST! @nctislifue @akuspic @pkjay @siya-bean @eun-chaez @wavetosunoo @gweoriz @luminouskalopsia @soobiary @ivyannemarie @rikikiynikilcykiki @emma2black @enh4ht @wooziswife @jjunie-0 @yumilovesloona @wth121 @riksaes @isaxshin @allforhee @rikisgeef @sunghoonsarmpit @autumn583 @tzuyusluv @lukesboo @anormieee @rockyhedgehog @thomawifey @lovrqis @akashisthighs @just-a-girl-with-hyper-fixations
(dm me/comment under the midnight fiction masterlist to be added!)
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watarfallar · 24 days ago
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Desert Duo treats because it's a week until Christmas
Grian: I’m going to get so much done today. Scar: I’ll hold you to that. *8 hours later* Scar: So how much did you get done? Grian: One thing. Scar: Well, that’s one more than usual.
Scar: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Scar: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Scar: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.
Scar: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Grian: Yeah? Scar: Bitch.
Grian: *Gives a bouquet to Scar* Scar: You know I'm allergic. Grian: That's the point.
Grian: Is this mistletoe? Scar: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Grian: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Scar: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.
Grian: What have I done wrong?! Scar: Everything. For your entire life.
Scar: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message. Grian: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.
Scar: What is wrong with you? Grian: Many, many things… Grian: And most of them are your fucking fault.
Scar: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! Grian: You should say something else.
Grian: My back hurts. Scar, walking into the room: Take the spine out.
Scar: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Scar: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Grian: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Scar: Ominous positivity.
Grian: Scar, what did you just do!? Scar: I took your advice. I stopped running from the problem and I tackled it head on. Grian: I meant try emotional honesty, not murder!!
Scar: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Grian: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.
Scar: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end. Grian: Dear God! Scar: Yeah! Exactly!
Grian: You've got to act tough, Scar! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Scar: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Scar, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.
Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.
Grian: Don’t preach to me about romance, Scar. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.
Scar: What’s sexting? Grian: I'm not having this conversation with you.
Grian: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you. Scar: Aww, thanks— Grian: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.
Scar: What’s your greatest weakness? Grian: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Scar: Could you give an example? Grian: Yes, I could.
Scar: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Grian: AS ENEMIES?! Scar:
Scar: I desire moisture. Grian: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.
Scar: Babe, you're so funny! Grian: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you. Scar: Awwww, that's sweet of you!
Grian: I didn’t want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Scar do it!
Scar: You got a date yet Grian? Grian: No… Scar: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
Grian: Dammit, you ruin everything! Scar: You're welcome.
Scar: They called me the B-word. Grian: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.
Scar, talking about Grian: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.
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lydiaalin · 1 year ago
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I've adored your art for years now and honestly the way you draw bodies and scars is amazing! I got drawing bodies down, but I can never seem to get scars to look as detailed/ finished like yours, any advice or tips you have on drawing, painting, or rendering scars would be great! Keep up the great art!
thank you so much it means a lot! 🙏
I'm honestly. really bad with giving tips because I'm out here brain dead winging it but I'll try
as with everything else involving drawing, having references is king, though understandably looking up for scars might get gruesome and not everyone is into that - but here are some I have saved as some examples
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there is of course taking into account what the scar is from, a slash wound or a bullet wound or a burn will scar differently, as well as how healed it is (ie having faded with time or not), but typically I'll use a dark color for the scar itself plus a lighter edge for the raised skin around it, to give it some volume
also try to follow the contours of whatever surface they're on, like going around a shoulder instead of just being a straight line
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there are of course the cases where the scar isn't that deep either so it's just a discoloration of the skin - my disorganized ass couldn't find an example for this but it doesn't necessarily have to be a lighter color
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for burns I do follow the same dark/light color logic but it's mostly just scribbles
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hope this has been any help and if you have any more questions feel free to ask but like I said. < brain dead winging it
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eitaababe · 2 years ago
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KISS IT BETTER !
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ao'nung x metkayina reader.
a/n — sorry guys it's been a reallyyy rough past few days some shit has gone down but here's a lil drabble while i finish a fic 🫶 / also they're like 18 in this for sake of plot !
To say you and Ao'nung didn't get along would be an understatement.
You two always argued, no matter how little or how big. From the way your hair was done, to who couldn't hold their breath as long, who was better on an ilu, you name it.
Though, despite you not being able to see eye to eye with him, you were always close with his younger sister. You were attached to the hip ever since children, and you spent practically your whole lives with each other, pretty much growing up together. You also grew close with her family, spending many dinners over at her marui.
So of course, you always had to see her brother.
Tsireya wasn't blind. Pretty much anyone could see the way you two acted around each other. And if they couldn't see it, they could certainly hear it. There wasn't a minute you could be in the same vicinity as each other and not throw insults at each other.
However, nobody really knows how or why you're like that. It's almost as if you were born into the world and just decided to hate each other.
And so you're sitting in between Tsireya's legs, her doing a new hairstyle for your hair and you whining about her brother once more. "I just don't get it," you complained, huffing in annoyance. "He really thinks he can insult me with a face like that! 'You'll never be able to get a boyfriend looking like that, y/n'," you gruffly mimicked, inaccurately impersonating his voice. "As if he's any better! Like you're the one who can't keep a girlfriend. He's projecting, I'm telling you."
Pulling extra tight on a certain braid you yelped, glaring over your shoulder. "Y/n, you seriously have a problem," Tsireya stated, sighing. "I mean if you really hate my brother so much, just don't talk to him. You both are around each other a lot for people who claim to hate each other so much."
"It's not my fault!" You quickly replied. "I swear, he's everywhere. I want to go clear my mind and go for a swim? He's already there. I want to feed the ilus? Apparently he was planning on going on a ride. I want to stop by and have dinner with my best friend? He-"
"Lives there, Y/n. He lives there," Tsireya finished for you. "I'm just saying. He may be my brother, but if he pisses you off that much you don't have to talk to him. He's good at riling people up. Especially you." She commented, finishing your hair and patting your shoulder lightly for you to turn around.
"He could piss anyone off with the things he says," You grumbled, shoulders drooping when you fell under Tsireya's disapproving gaze. "Fine. I'll try to not let him get to me. Starting now."
"Oh that's lovely, because he's right behind you."
"What-"
"Hi sister," he paused, eyes glancing to you in distaste. "Y/n."
"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him blandly, trying to take your friend's advice and not be disturbed by his mere presence.
"Mother wants you home for dinner," He continued, letting out a sigh before going on. "They invited you too." He finished, not sparring a glance your way before turning around and walking back.
"That went better than expected." Tsireya grinned, grabbing your arm and taking you to her own marui.
"Wait until dinner."
Dinner was going better than expected. You and Ao'nung hadn't argued yet, considering you chose to ignore him and he did the same. Your parents had joined the dinner as well, so you had no other choice but to be respectful.
Your calm nature soon disappeared as you heard the words coming from your parents mouths.
"What?" You exclaimed in disbelief, Tsireya sitting next to you with a shocked expression.
"Really, we think it's for the best."
"No offense or anything, but have you met Ao'nung? I can barely stay in the same room with him, nevertheless spend the rest of my life with him!" You complained, ignoring the stern looks from your parents. "It won't work. Me and Ao'nung, we don't work well together."
"For once, I agree." The boy finally spoke, not looking up from the table.
"Y/n, Ao'nung, I know this is unexpected, but we've all talked about it. You would make a great mate for Ao'nung. We'd like you two to be mated soon before Ao'nung chooses a girl us or the clan would not approve of."
You noticed how his jaw clenched at the comment, yet he stayed silent. You closed your eyes, trying to accept your fate. When you both fell silent, everyone got up and started to exit the room. "We'll give you two some privacy."
You watched as they all left out the marui, turning towards the male. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"It's my mother, I doubt anything I would've said would have made a difference."
"Of course it would! You're her son!"
"You're just so stubborn, aren't you?" Ao'nung suddenly shouted, standing up now. "Thinking you can have everything your way? We have duties, y/n. Grow up."
"Clearly, I'm the only one who's thinking rationally right now! How can you be willing to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't stand?"
"Well like it or not, it's happening. Deal with it, because you're not going to change our parents' minds."
"I can't believe you," you scoffed. "I hope they don't expect me to love you. I can't see who would." You walked out furiously, stomping back towards your own marui.
"Oh, you're one to talk!"
The next few days you two kept your separate ways, but both of you knew your parents wouldn't let it stay like that. They'd practically set up a date for you guys, claiming it's so you could 'settle the feud'.
So you woke up, already in a bad mood, putting minimal effort into getting ready. You headed outside your marui, grumbling what sounded like a farewell to your parents, blood boiling at the sight of the boy who was waiting for you on the beach.
"Y/n." He gruffly greeted you, not meeting your eye.
"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him back, mind drifting back to the other night. Were you too harsh with your words? It was possible you could've gotten caught up in the heat of the moment, and if you were forced to spent the rest of your life with him, you should at least try to be civil.
"...how are you?" You inwardly cringed at yourself, making an awkward attempt to make conversation.
He sent a questioning look your way, realizing what you were doing. He almost wanted to laugh at how out of place you looked. He decided to play along, for whatever reason. "Okay. You?"
"I'm good."
The both of you didn't talk much for the rest of the day, but you didn't argue either, so maybe you were showing signs of improvement. You walked along the beach quietly, the occasional tight-lipped smile, or a hum in response to one of your or his attempts to make some small talk.
Your hangouts usually went like that, you'd greet each other and walk, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were too scared to say anything about it, or change the newly made routine, until Ao'nung seemingly had enough.
"Y/n," he sighed out tiredly, stopping and turning to face you fully. "This isn't helping us at all. All we're trying to do is not argue every time we're around each other. We're not fixing anything, hell, we're probably making it worse. Even if we can't love each other, shouldn't we be able to get to know one another?"
You stood silent for a moment, considering his offer. "I hate it when you're right," you deadpanned, dropping the 'nice' act. "It's just so irregular. Why would I want to be stuck with you?"
"Cmon, I struck peace and you're insulting me?" He teased, flashing a rare grin to you.
"Stop smiling, people are gonna start thinking you want to be around me." You told him, walking off.
Ao'nung went after you, chuckling to himself. "I won't make it a habit then!"
To everyone's surprise, you were finally starting to get along. You acted like friends, even if neither of you would necessarily admit it. You were spending your time with Tsireya, deeming you'd spent too much time with her brother.
"I can't believe I actually saw you smiling in the vicinity of Ao'nung." She teased, laughing once you rolled your eyes.
"Oh shut up. We're basically going to be with each other for eternity, we had to stop hating each other at some point."
"He was talking about you the other day at dinner, actually. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's taken a liking to you."
"Absolutely not!" You denied, shaking your head. "We're not like that. Like at all. We're just friends now, okay? We don't see each other that way."
"Whatever you say."
What the two of you didn't notice, however, was that the boy heard the two of you talking, heart slightly sinking. Could you really not tell how he felt?
And oddly enough, he felt even more determined to prove how he did.
To your shock, Ao'nung started making advances towards you during your scheduled hang outs. They were subtle, but you noticed the slight flirting, or how his touch would linger on you longer than usual.
You didn't think much of it however, considering you just went from enemies to friends in the span of maybe two weeks. You were right to do so, when you spotted him with another girl one day.
When you first saw them, you really could've cared less. Ao'nung was popular, and knew many people. If he had friends who were girls, it didn't matter. Everyone knew you were each others promised mates, and the word quickly spread since people knew of your dislike for each other.
You trusted Ao'nung, he was not only your betrothed but your duties were to each other, and he wasn't dumb enough to try and change that.
At least you thought.
Their second interaction, you saw the same girl, Mau. She was a sweet girl, you knew her through Tsireya. You watched quietly from afar as the two talked animatedly, large smiles and their laughter heard from where you stood. You hid behind a smaller palm tree, it's leaves shielding you from their view.
You couldn't quite hear what their conversation was, so you settled for just watching. You were shocked when she pressed a kiss to his cheek, and how he turned purple in response. You denied how you felt your heart drop to your stomach, and deemed that their conversation should be private and hurried to leave.
In the midst of rushing out you accidentally walked right into one of the leaves, your lip getting cut in the process. "Oh, fuck." You cursed underneath your breath, hoping no one could see you leave. You sprinted away to another part of the beach, moving over to the marui near the ilus.
Ao'nung squinted his eyes at the sight of someone running away, thinking it oddly resembled you. A wave of adrenaline quickly hit him when he realized you might have seen Mau, and he jumped up in panic. "I'm so sorry, I have to go." He excused himself, rushing after you.
He found you with the ilus, smiling when he heard you talking nonsense to them. He cleared his throat, "You seriously have got to make some new friends."
You froze at his voice, almost turning around but realizing he'd see the wound on your lip. You stayed in place, back turned to him as you kept feeding the creatures. "Don't be salty I have more friends than you, even if they can't talk."
"In your dreams, hun," He teased, sitting down next to you, confused when you turned away from him. Concerned, and a little scared you saw his previous interaction, his head followed yours, trying to meet your eyes. "What's wrong?"
You pursed your lips, turning around and eyes widening when you realized how close his face was to yours. Afraid of talking and showing him your cut you only shrugged, shaking your head.
"Why are you holding your lips like that?" He questioned, making you hot with panic. "It makes you look even more stupid."
"Oh just shut up." You mumbled, figuring there was no way out of this. You lowered your head, but not before he could see your wound.
"What happened?"
You really just wanted to let the ocean swallow you whole.
"I ran into a tree."
"While eavesdropping?" He laughed, seeing the way your head quickly perked up, the caught look on your face.
"I didn't- I mean-"
"Oh don't worry, I know you were just questioning my loyalty. I mean with a face like this, there's loads of girls after me. Had to break many hearts knowing I was promised to you."
"Keep telling yourself that. And if I was testing your loyalty, you definitely failed. Not that I mind, but who lets other girls kiss them when they're promised to someone else?"
"If you're jealous, just say that," he simply shrugged, smirking at you. "I turned Mau down, by the way. Told her I was already to be mated with another."
"Oh," you couldn't help but let out a breath of relief. "Your parents will be happy to hear that."
Rolling his eyes at your ability to not take a hint, he only sighed. "Yeah, sure."
Ao'nung then refocused on your lips, looking at the cut. "You know, we should really do something about that."
"It doesn't hurt that much."
"You should let me kiss it better."
"What?" You exclaimed, looking at him incredulously.
"You heard me."
Not bothering to hear your response his lips pressed against yours gently, in fear of making the cut any worse. His hand came to rest against your jaw as his lips moved slowly. You felt him smile against you before he quickly pecked your lips again, pulling away with a smug look. "Feel any better?"
"I'm not sure, you might have to kiss it better again."
a/n — I FINALLY POSTED AGAIN. WRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH.
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roosterforme · 1 year ago
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Don't Drag Your Feet (Rooster x Reader)
Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. Written for an ask. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32
Warnings: just fluff
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Bradley was lounging in his bunk on base in San Diego, partaking in his weekly phone call home to his parents. He smiled as he held the phone to his ear while Carole Bradshaw talked a mile a minute. He kept trying to cut in, knowing she would want to hear what he had to say, but she was going on and on about her cousin Brenda.
"Mom," he tried again, running his fingers through his hair. 
"Oh, Bradley, all the cousins want to see you. Do you know when you'll be back in Virginia? Your dad and I figured you'd be back on base here by Thanksgiving at the latest?"
But he closed his eyes and thought about the one thing that had him hoping to stay in San Diego permanently. "Mom. I met a girl."
The line went completely silent. 
"Mom? Are you there?"
And then all he heard was a loud screech that had him pulling the phone a few inches from his ear. "Goose!!! Baby! Get in here! He met a girl! Bradley met a girl!"
"Mom," he groaned into the phone. "It's not...anything serious." It wasn't. But he wanted it to be. 
"Maybe it's not serious yet, but Bradley, darling, you never tell us anything about the girls you're seeing. All I know is that there are plenty of them, and that you don't seem to let any of them stick around. So when can we meet her?"
He sighed as his dad's voice carried through the phone as well. "Who's the girl?" he asked, and Bradley could hear the smile in his voice. 
"He won't tell me anything about her!" his mom complained, even though she'd found out less than a minute ago and hadn't let Bradley speak at all. "What's her name? Are we allowed to know that much? And what does she look like? And did you meet her at work? And does she want to give me grandchildren?"
"Jesus, mom. Just, hang on and I'll text you a picture of her." 
As Bradley pulled up the photo he wanted to send, he smiled. You were gorgeous. He was obsessed with the perfect curve of your cheek and your smile. When he sent the photo he told them your name, and that you were also a naval officer with multiple degrees from the naval academy. And then a screech even louder than the first one came tearing through the speaker.
"Bradley! She's beautiful! Goose! Look at her! Our grandchildren will be stunning. And her name sounds perfect with Bradshaw after it."
"Mom, I think you're getting ahead of yourself here-"
"I can tell you're serious about her! I'm not getting ahead of anything."
Bradley sighed. "I just think I might have stronger feelings than she does."
"Have you told her yet? That you're in love with her?" she asked.
He was in love with you. But he was too afraid to say it yet. Not before the mission. It was too soon. 
Then he heard his dad's voice. "Some advice for you, son. If she's that pretty and that smart and you care about her that much, don't drag your feet."
But Bradley always dragged his feet. And women never kept his attention. He was thirty five years old, and he had only had two girlfriends. 
You were different. He could tell right away. But you were way out of his league, and he didn't know the first thing about how to keep you. How to make you his. But he wanted to. He really wanted to. 
"Listen to your father, Bradley. We were engaged by our sixth date."
"Yeah, I know. You've told me about a million times." But he was smiling into the phone now, because even he knew that the kind of love his parents had was rare. He's grown up around it, but he'd never experienced it himself. Until now. 
Then he heard his mom ask, "Do you want me to fly out with my engagement ring? I can probably fly out on Tuesday so you have it for when you're ready. And then I can meet your dream girl. We can all go out to dinner with Mav."
Bradley laughed and cradled his forehead in his hand. "Do not fly out on Tuesday, okay? It's way too soon for that. And if you give me your ring, what will you wear?"
"I'll buy her a new one," his dad said immediately. "Something big and pretty for my girl."
Bradley knew there was no other way to get them off the phone, so he said, "Tuesday is no good for me. But I'll think about it, okay? I'll think about...taking your ring so I have it. Just in case."
When he told them he loved them and ended the call, he was already thinking about it.
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flightyalrighty · 1 month ago
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Yo yo I got a question!
What does your process/workflow for creating comics look like? I’ve dabbled in making some myself but could never really get it right…especially the script. So what does yours look like? Any tips for laying out the panels and keeping people engaged with the story?
Howdy! I've broken down my process in this ask right here but I'll see what I can say say about paneling specifically that I didn't already say in there!
Hmm, well, I can certainly say that your biggest priority when setting up a layout for your panels is to make sure everything flows correctly. Make sure your eyes NATURALLY feel drawn to the correct next panel when you're going through it.
Here's an example of what not to do:
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(Forgive me, I put this together super fast with a trackpad in photopea)
See, the thing about this, and why it sucks, is that your eyes don't know where to go next after that first panel. We (westerners at least) prioritize reading left-to-right, then go for up-to-down -- However, this creates a strange zig-zag for our eyes to follow. The flows all fucky wucky! No good! Clarity is the name of the game here, so keep yourself absolutely 100% aware of how easy it may be to figure out where to go next on a page. Now, that said:
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This is literally just the same image flipped, but do you see how much easier it is to figure out where to go next? Left-to-right, and then up-to-down. EASY!
A final piece of advice (that I may have given before but I've forgotten) has nothing to do with paneling, but does have everything to do with scripting. This SERIOUSLY depends on if you're making a webcomic or comic or graphic novel, like do NOT do this unless you're doing a webcomic, but If you can get away with ending a page on either a joke or a cliffhanger, do it. You WILL keep people from forgetting about the story and moving on. Make sure they need to see what's coming next OR give em a good enough laugh to stick your comic in their heads for a while.
Really though, the true trick to keeping people engaged with your story is consistency. Have a schedule and stick with it (I'm bad at this but at least I post ONLY on Thursdays now and try to not take more than two weeks on a page). If people have to keep guessing when your next upload happens, they're going to lose interest fast. Give your readers a fair enough chance to stay engaged by being reliable -- And if you do end up slipping up with your scheduling, do be sure to tell people when you'll be back.
It's absolutely your project, so you set your own schedule! But people get busy, so absolutely keep that in mind!
That's all I can think of at the moment! I hope this was helpful to you!
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you-call-it-a-dude · 7 months ago
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I Love You, It's Ruining My Life
Pairings: Regina George x Female Reader (technically, kinda?), Regina George x Aaron Samuels (for the plot), female reader x random female character (for the plot also)
Summary: You and your wife move into your dream house. Unexpectedly, your new neighbor just happens to be your ex (P.S: your wife doesn't know she's your ex)
Warnings: idk? Aaron Samuels? lol. Pregnancy. tension? Probably things considered infidelity
Author's Note: besties, I'm not quite sure what this one is lol. Was just an idea swirling around my brain that I felt I needed to write. I know everyone wants another Call It What You Want chapter. I am def working on it. I just feel stuck and feel like writing other things will get me back into it. I do not plan to write a part two for this one BUT idk if yall decide you want to cheat on your wife I might consider another chapter lol but if the consensus is to stay faithful imma stick with one lol.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. Also, happy pride monthhhhh ily
-----
"Hi there, neighbor!"
You look up to see the source of the voice. A man around your age most likely. He was leaning over the fence, his eyes squinting from the sun.
You stood up from where you were planting flowers, pulling off your gardening gloves and tossing them to the ground.
"Hello!" You approached him at your fence, extending your hand out to shake his hand. "I'm Y/F/N Y/L/N. My wife and I moved in a few weeks ago. Someone down the street said you and your wife were taking a vacation. We were wondering when you would turn up." You say with a smile, resting your hand on the fence.
"Aaron Samuels." He smiles. "Yeah, I try to take a few trips throughout the year. Keeps my wife from getting too, well, you know. ." He jokes, but the way he rolled his eyes made the comment seem very...icky.
"Oh, totally. Staying in one place and working all the time is exhausting. I hope you both had a great trip." You say politely.
"Yeah, well..." he looks down and shakes his head. "Planting some flowers for the summer?" He asks, nodding to trays of various flowers lying around the immediate area.
"Trying to." You scratch your head. "It's our first time owning a house and doing this type of thing. We are definitely winging it." You use your head to point in the general direction of your wife. She was watering flowers on the other end of the yard with her back to you and her hand on her hip, her ear buds in her ear.
Alice was short with long blonde hair. She had a round face and a laugh like nothing you've ever heard of and you mean that in the best way possible. She is an extrovert, always knows what to say to who or how to get a conversation going.
Introductions weren't the most important thing right now; letting her enjoy gardening in her first owned home took precedence in your book, so you left her be.
You were certain she would strike up a conversation with him at some point in the near future anyway.
"Well, I've got quite the green thumb." He admits with an awkward laugh and you can tell by his face he regretted his wording. "I enjoy to garden." He says more seriously as if he was correcting his previous statement that you didn't even find embarrassing. Just...silly. In a nice way though.
"Well, if you consider yourself some sort of an expert, I'll take any information you know about growing vegetables." He lights up when you ask him for advice.
"I've got a really great soil that I use. I have so many bags of it. I'll run to my shed and grab them for you. I've already used what I needed and bought way too much." He explains with a small laugh.
"Aaron!"
Before you could respond, a voice from inside called to him, tapping on a window but the sun in your face made you unable to pinpoint where.
"Duty calls." He says unpleasantly and you scrunch your nose up at him when he turns around because you didn't like that response. "Next time I catch you out here, I'm bringing that dirt over!" He turns to point at you while walking backwards.
"Thanks so much! I appreciate it." You awkwardly give him a thumbs up and when he turns around to run inside, you scratch your eyebrow with your thumb. Overall you were just unsure how you felt about that interaction.
You turn around and decide to go bother your wife. She still has her headphones in, obviously still unaware of what happened around her.
You wrap your arms around her waist and she startles, the hose jumping with her and spraying the side of the house. You laugh and pull one of her ear buds out and kiss her ear.
"Hello, my gorgeous wife." You compliment and she leans into you, continuing to water the grass.
"Hi, my gorgeous wife." She repeats back. "How's it going over there?"
"Good. I met our neighbor. Or well the husband. Aaron."
"I met the wife earlier today when I was coming back from Home Depot. She was out running. While pregnant if I may also draw attention to because that's just insane to me. Anyway, I introduced myself. She was really nice." She says with a shrug.
"No name?" You tease, trying to see if you caught wife's social skills lacking.
"Do you even know me?" She looks up at you fake offended, a smile teasing her lips. "Her name is Gina." She says proudly.
"I'm not too sure how I feel about Aaron. He was nice, I guess. I don't know." You say, not really sure how to describe the icky feeling he gave off when he was perfectly pleasant.
"I think we should invite them over. Be nice, friendly neighbors. I want to be friends with our neighbors." She looks up at you with a small pout and you would never dream of doing anything that would make that pout stay.
"Sure, baby. Anything you want." You smile, kissing her cheek. "I'm gonna run inside and get us some water. I'll be back."
---
The following Wednesday, Alice tasked you with going over to your neighbor's house to see if they would come to dinner at your house this weekend.
Although Alice would have loved, and you would have preferred it, to be the one to invite them, she works until 7pm most week days and she was strategic with wanting to give them just enough notice to either accept or decline. So, since you are usually home by 5pm most nights, you walked over there with her little list of questions and a pen in case they said yes.
You hated approaching people like this. You were definitely less social than your wife.
You rang the doorbell and waited patiently for a moment. You shrugged after a long pause and began to turn away, but you heard the door open behind you."
"Can I help you?"
You paused for a moment, your feet scuffing against the cement and the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. You swallowed before turning around.
She was the last person you ever thought you would see again and here she is in front of you.
You hated that the first thought in your head was that she looked beautiful. Your eyes darted to her small pregnant belly and you could feel a pang of jealousy, a knot in your stomach.
She looked just as surprised to see you. Her eyes widened as she took a step back, her hand falling to her stomach, almost as if she was embarrassed you caught her this way.
Regina George. Your toxic relationship/situationship that lasted probably around five years on and off until you couldn't do it anymore. Things officially ended between the two of you about four years ago.
You couldn't take the arguing, the lies, the cheating, the blatant denial of your relationship and her sexuality.
You weren't a priority to her. You were someone she went to after her boyfriends couldn't satisfy her. You were someone she called when she was drunk so she could confess how in love she was with you because she just couldn't bring herself to say it and mean it when she was sober.
The last time you saw her was a big argument between the two of you. She had come over to your place after a date with some guy. She called him a boring loser, said he was nothing compared to you and then pushed you against the wall and kissed you hard.
You had asked her 'if he was nothing compared to me, why am I not good enough then?" You remember the question vividly because you thought about the wording while she kissed you. Her tongue thrusting into your mouth and she pulled away to look at you confused before you asked it because you weren't returning her kiss with the same amount of eagerness she was used to.
Her face softened for the briefest moment before she narrowed her eyes at you, listing off all of the reasons why you weren't good enough. She had a smile on her face afterwards, like she was challenging you to do or say something because you hadn't defended yourself in the past so she certainly wasn't expecting it to happen then either.
When she leaned in to kiss you again you dodged it, telling her to leave and that you were done.
You had never seen her look so...devastated. Her face dropped and she apologized repeatedly. She held your face in her hands while she peppered kisses across your face, but you were done. You felt disgusted with yourself, disgusted with her.
The both of you cried and argued for another two hours before she finally relented and left.
Twenty minutes after she was gone, your doubts crept in and you went to call her. To tell her to come back. That you were willing to degrade yourself to the point where you would be her secret side piece if it meant you had anything with her.
Except by the time you went to call her, she had already blocked your number. Blocked you on everything, actually.
And now you were standing at her doorstep, both of you looking like you've seen a fucking ghost.
"Hi." You finally speak after a few seconds, clearing your throat. Your eyes dart to Aaron sitting in the dining room behind her. "My wife wanted to know if you and Aaron would be available this Saturday for dinner at our house." You look anywhere but her, keeping the conversation strictly neighborly.
"I, we-" she starts, but Aaron realized you were here and stood up from where he was posted up.
"Is that our neighbor?!" He says in a tone of voice that just screams 'white dad'. "What brings you by?" He reaches out to shake your hand again and Regina just rolls her eyes.
"My wife wanted me to invite you two for dinner. This Saturday if you're available." You say, yours eyes squinting slightly from the sun setting behind their house.
"Yeah! We will definitely be free for that." Aaron agrees and Regina just nods.
"Great! I have a list of questions I was instructed to ask now." You chuckle lightly and pull the list and pen from your pocket. You look up and see Regina crack a small smile and it makes you fumble the pen when you try to take the cap off. "Okay, any allergies?"
"No allergies." Regina says and hearing her voice again makes your heart race.
"Is chicken fine?" You read the next question off the list, squinting at the little note Alice left. "She is hesitant to do steak because she doesn't want to have to serve-" you pause briefly. "to serve Gina a well done steak."
Calling her Gina felt weird. So fucking weird. She used to tell you she hated it when people called her that.
"Chicken is good." She says, but Aaron sucks his teeth in a silent annoyance. "Or not."
"No we can do chicken." He says, his tone of voice very different than before and you almost feel like you're intruding.
"I'm sure Alice will be happy to make you a steak, Aaron." You smile, trying to diffuse this added layer of awkwardness to an already awkward situation.
But he was also kind of pissing you off, too.
"I don't know why you have to make things so fucking complicated." Regina starts.
"It's okay, really." You look at her and say calmly, swallowing the urge to reach out and touch her. She stares at you for a moment and nods. You look down to your question sheet quickly, not wanting to stare at her too long. "What do you like to drink? We will get whatever you want. Juice, beer, sparkling water. Literally anything."
"Oooh," Aaron rubs his hands together "can I have Bud Light?"
"Mhmm!" You nod. "And you, R-Gina." You correct yourself quickly, shaking your head.
"I'm okay with water, thank you though. Can we bring anything? A side? Dessert? I don't want to show up empty handed."
"I will have to run that one by Alice." You smile politely, knowing damn well the little paper she handed you explicitly says not to let them bring anything.
"I can just ask her myself." Regina says confidently, taking the sheet of paper and pen from your hand. Your hands touched when she snatched the pen from you and you can feel yourself holding your breath. She flips the paper over and writes her number on the back before handing it back to you. "Just have her call me tonight or tomorrow whenever she gets a chance." She gives you a small smile.
You take the paper and nod, looking down to see her number hasn't changed. You folded the paper and shoved it into your pocket, repeating her phone number in her head just to prove to yourself that you still could.
"Cool, I will have her do that." You say awkwardly, feeling stupid for even going over there because Alice is still gonna end up being the one to coordinate things with Regina, sorry Gina, anyway. "Have a goodnight."
You give them an awkward wave and when you turn around to walk through the path in their front yard, you can hear them begin to bicker behind you.
Alice gets home around 7:30pm that night. She wraps her arms around you while you plate the dinner you made. She smelled like a dental office and she gave you a sticker from your favorite Pixar movie, most likely having pulled it from the bin of stickers they have for their pediatric clients.
She went to change her clothes and freshen up, coming down about ten minutes later to dinner being plated and ready to eat.
She sat down next to you and the two of you talked about your days briefly before she finally asked you if you completed the objective you were tasked with.
"Well, partially." You say, taking a sip of your water. "I went over there and was going through my little list, but Regina said she wanted to bring something and I wasn't going to tell a pregnant lady no. So I got her number and you can call her." Alice laughs and throws her head back, clapping her hand once.
"You're such a chicken. Also, Gina, babe. Not Regina." She laughs again. "Better get that down before we see them again so you're not calling her by the wrong name." She teases you.
You smack your palm to your forehead and chuckle awkwardly, your heart racing over your slip up.
"Gina, right!" You correct yourself. "Here is her number though." You pull the piece of paper from your pocket and slide it over. "Aaron was being a little bitch about having chicken."
"I'll just make him a steak then." She says casually, looking over the piece of paper with her eyebrows furrowed. "It's no big deal."
"That's what told them also." You nod and take a bite of your food.
Alice looks up, squinting to try to see the time on the microwave.
"I'm gonna give her a call now before it gets too late." She says, picking her phone up from the table and dialing the number. She held the phone to her ear, looking like she was ready to give up after a few rings. "Hi, Gina? Hey! It's Alice. How are you doing?"
You looked down at your plate, moving your food around while you tried to listen to the conversation. You could faintly hear her voice. Hear her talking about how you stopped by.
You tried to not make it so obvious that you were listening.
You also tried not to make it so obvious that you were disappointed when Alice grabbed her little notepad and walked out of the room to finish the call.
---
You've been out in the yard since like ten this morning cleaning the grill, setting up coolers, and doing everything around the house that Alice asked of you while she prepped everything for when 'Gina' and Aaron came over.
You've ran to the grocery store you don't even know how many times now to fetch any last minute ingredients or items that Alice forgot. All the back and forth setting you behind on your own tasks you needed to do.
Around 3pm Alice brought out multiple trays of various items for you to grill. Chicken, Aaron's steak, potatoes wrapped in foil, asparagus, bacon wrapped and cheese stuffed peppers. Like she went all out.
You were placing the second round of chicken on the grill when Alice disappeared and reappeared a few minutes later with Regina and Aaron behind her.
Everyone greeted you excitedly and you did the same, smile and waving at them both with the tongs in your hand. Alice got them each a drink and her and Aaron got to talking about the garden.
She led him over to your guys' tragic attempt of a garden and the two of them talked each other's ears off about.
Regina only stayed in that conversation for a few minutes. From the corner of your vision you can see her making her way to you, stopping to set her drink on the table.
You looked forward, anxiety rising in your chest each step she took until she was standing right next to you, your elbow brushing the material of her dress.
"Hi neighbor." She says in a tone that feels borderline mocking.
"Hi, Gina." You say, returning that same mocking tone and refusing to look at her.
She turns her head to look back at both of your spouses before looking to you again, her fingertips grazing your arm to get your attention.
"I wanna talk to you later, when you have a moment."
"There's nothing to talk about." You say firmly. "How does Aaron like his steak?"
"I don't fucking care how he likes his stupid fucking steak." She says annoyed, her fingertips still against your arm. Her other hand coming up to press her palm against her forehead and sigh, fanning herself off.
You can't bring yourself to move away from her touch.
"It's too hot for you over here." You say, finally turning to look at her. "Go sit down. The food will be done soon."
"I don't want to fucking sit down." She says through gritted teeth. "I'm tired of being treated like I'm delicate or breakable. I'm fucking fine."
"Fine, you're fucking fine." You say, turning back to continue grilling. Regina goes from grazing your arm lightly to gripping it tightly, her nails digging into your arm now. You flip the meat and the veggies, closing the grill. "Let's go. You obviously don't feel good." You to turn her and grab her arm carefully.
"I never feel good anymore. I fucking hate it." She said, her voice cracking the tiniest bit as she let you lead her over to the table.
You pull out a chair for her and when you notice that Aaron and Alice are too engrossed in their conversation to pay attention to Regina right now, you sigh and pull out the chair next to her for yourself.
"Do you need anything? Here, eat something." You grab the bowl of chips and place them in front of her, along with the various dips Alice made. She thanks you and nods, taking a chip and dipping it in the spinach and artichoke dip.
"So, how long have you and Alice been together." She asks before popping a second chip in her mouth and humming at the taste.
"Don't start." You ask, shaking your head.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She says innocently. "I'm just being neighborly." She scrunches her nose at you.
"No, you're being nosy." You scrunch your nose back at her and stand up. "I'll be back."
You make your way back to the grill. Things are just about finished up and you begin to try to pull apart those little tin containers from the dollar store to put everything in, muttering and swearing under your breath when you couldn't get them pried apart.
You look up to ask Alice for help but she disappeared with Aaron. You look around the yard confused, still trying to pry the fucking trays apart.
"They went to go look at the front yard." Regina says, coming up behind you and taking the trays from you. She digs one of her long nails between them and pulls them apart easily. She sets one down on the platform of the grill and holds the other ones for you.
"You know, she organized this fucking thing and then ditched me." You say annoyed, putting the meat into the pan first and covering it with foil. You turn the pan to the side to make room for Regina to set down one of the smaller pans, which she does.
You take out the potatoes from the grill next. Swearing every time one slips between the tongs, which was frequently.
"Babe, why didn't you tell me you were done?" Alice says, coming through side gate and setting her beer on a small table in the yard. She rushes over to you both, nodding her head at Regina to thank her while she takes the empty pan from her hand and does some maneuvering.
Regina steps aside and you're disappointed by the loss of her presence.
"What was I supposed to do? Shout from over here?" You respond with a slight attitude, one of your eyes shut because of the smoke from the grill.
"Let's not do this right now, yeah?" She says calmly, taking the pan with the meat over to the table.
"Can I help with anything?" Regina asks from where she's standing and Alice asks if she can help her get everything set up on the table and she agrees.
You close the lid of the grill once everything is out and you wipe the sweat from your head. You stare and the two small tray of veggie sides in front of you, trying to figure out how you're going to bring them both over to the table. You looked behind you to see if anyone was free to help. Regina and Alice looked busy and Aaron was glued to his phone, titling it up toward his chest any time Regina was close.
You watched Alice and Regina get the table set up. Lay out the plates and silverware, bring out the cold sides.
You had to turn around when you realized you were paying more attention to Regina than to Alice.
You covered both of the small trays in foil and stacked them one on top of the other, carefully making your way over to set them on the table. Regina took the trays from you, her fingertips brushing against your sticky, sweaty, skin for probably the tenth time today.
"I'll be back." You say abruptly, turning around to dart inside.
Your eyes were burning, were hot from the grill, and probably feeling added heat from Regina as well. You just needed a second.
You go into the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of ice water and chugging about half of it, breathing heavily afterward like a fucking toddler. You turned to the sink, wetting a paper towel and wiping off your eyes then your face.
You could hear footsteps, but your face was too buried in that cool towel to care right now.
"Where do you keep your big spoons?" Regina asks.
You feel around your kitchen blindly, running your hands over the counter until you found the drawer on the left where you kept your serving spoons.
"In here." You tap the drawer and step aside, pulling the towel from your face.
"You okay?" She asks, making her way to the drawer and looking over at you.
"My eyes just burn." You blink hard a couple of times and wipe them again. She leans in closer and you hold your breath when her thumb lands on your cheek bone and tugs down slightly.
"They look really red." She says softly, her gaze visibly bouncing between your eyes and your lips.
"The smoke." Was all you managed to get out before clearing your throat and forcing yourself to step away. "So how far along are you?" You ask to change the subject and it seems to work. She snaps out of her little daze and turns to get the spoons from the drawer.
"20 weeks this past Tuesday." She says, pulling out the spoons.
"Just about halfway then." You lean against the counter of the sink. "Do you know what you're having?"
"A girl." She has her back to you, but you can hear that she's smiling and it makes you smile in return.
"That's really exciting."
"Aaron doesn't think so." She turns around with a small frown and a few big spoons in her hand. "He wanted a boy."
"Who fucking cares what he wanted." You roll your eyes, finding it ridiculous that someone could be unhappy about having a daughter.
"She moves around a lot. Do you want to feel?" She asks excitedly and you don't want to tell her no, but you should.
"Regina I-" She doesn't really give you an option because she grabs your wrist a tugs you forward, placing your hand on her belly. "I don't feel any- oh wait!" You say excitedly when you feel something push against your hand. "That's crazy." You say to yourself quietly.
You stay this way for a few moments. Your thumb moving back and forth over her belly, her hand resting over yours. Neither of you wanting to be the one to acknowledge that she isn't kicking anymore because neither of you wanted to move.
"I think you put her to sleep." Regina whispered and when you looked at her you knew you needed to step back. You knew you needed to pull away because she was looking at you like she wanted to kiss you and your wife was just outside.
You could hear her laughing at whatever stupid shit Aaron said.
"We should probably get back outside." You whisper, your thumb still rubbing over her bump. She squeezed your wrist, almost like she didn't want you to let go.
"Okay." She says calmly, but neither of you move.
Not until the back door slams and you hear Alice laughing and talking loudly, wondering where the two of you went.
You quickly placed the towel back over your eye and Regina quickly opened and closed the drawer as if she just got done looking through it, the two of you well versed in the art of recovering before you got caught.
"Everything okay in here? Baby, what happened?" She rushes over to you, pulling the almost dry towel from your face.
"My eye just wouldn't stop watering and burning." You say, wiping them off once more and tossing the towel in the trash. "I couldn't see so I couldn't even help Gina find the spoons. I kept leading her astray." You chuckle at your own lie.
"It was a mess, but we managed somehow." She lets out a fake laugh and holds up the spoons. "I'm sorry for taking so long."
"Oh gosh, you're too sweet. Don't apologize." She puts her hand on Regina's shoulder and starts to usher her outside, you following behind them.
Dinner was nice. You learned a lot about Regina and Aaron as a couple and they learned about the two of you in return.
You were surprised to find out that Aaron was the loser Regina had gone on a date with the night the two of you ended things.
Though that was an observation you had to keep to yourself, you could see Regina shift uncomfortably in her seat when she realized you put two and two together.
You learned that they only moved into this house about a year ago and have been married for almost three years now as opposed to you and Alice who have only been married a year and a half.
They talked a little bit about the baby, how they were preparing for her, that they are trying to go on trips and such before she gets here. You could practically feel the disappointment radiating off of Aaron.
The way Alice nudged your foot under the table made you think she felt it to and you knew you would definitely be discussing it later.
Alice told them both just about everything about the two of you. Where you met and how, how long you dated before getting married. All the details you tried to avoid giving Regina earlier Alice spewed out like it was nothing.
Regina's face hardened slightly when she realized that you met Alice at the tail end of your relationship with her. Clearly choosing to ignore the part that you two didn't actually start talking seriously until almost a year after the break up.
Clearly, Regina choosing to harp on irrelevant bits and pieces of a story is still something that hasn't changed.
You also found it interesting that although she consistently dated and slept with men during your time together that she would get upset that you merely met someone, exchanged information, then didn't speak again for almost a year and a half.
You excused yourself from the conversation and Regina's dirty looks to bring out dessert.
You opened the fridge to see a coconut cake that you know Alice didn't make. You raised your eyebrows in a silent excitement because you knew that meant Regina brought it and you wonder if she brought it purposely because she knew it was your absolute favorite whenever she or her mom would make it.
You pull it from the fridge and grab the cake knife from the drawer, carefully walking out of the house with the cake.
"I really hope coconut cake is fine, Alice. You said you weren't picky on the phone and this cake is like a staple in my family." Regina says, her eyes finding yours immediately as you set the cake down.
"We love coconut in this house. The cake looks great and will be very much enjoyed, I assure you of that." Alice says with a slight laugh, taking the cake knife from your hand and going to work on handing out the slices.
She asked how big of a piece everyone wanted, you tried to wiggle your hand inconspicuously to let her know you wanted a bigger piece, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment when Alice called you out on it, saying she 'didn't know you enjoyed coconut THAT much' while also being accommodating and giving you a larger piece.
You grumbled when you took the piece from her, looking up to Regina who was biting back a smile, or maybe a smirk.
You took a bite of the cake, humming at the taste. Somehow it tasted even better. You weren't sure if Regina just perfected the recipe or it had just been so long since you had it. Maybe a combination of both.
When Alice asked about the recipe and where it came from, Regina started talking about her mom and where she got it from. You could hear the two of them talk, but you weren't listening anymore.
You were looking down at your cake, pushing it around your plate now. It tasted great, better than you remember even.
But that's the issue. You weren't tasting this cake for the first time. You were tasting this cake for the first time in years and every little scenario that could be associated with this cake was popping into your brain. Like every single bite was just something new to think of.
When you tried it for the first time when meeting Regina's family. When introduced you as her friend and you all played card games with her family until 1am. Regina had told you she didn't think she could ever have that much fun with her family.
The first time Regina tried to make the cake herself because she knew you liked it and she burned it so bad, but you still ate it because she was crying about having messed it up.
When she made it as your birthday cake one year and it came out absolutely perfect, but then the two of you got into an argument because she was going to go on a date instead of coming out with you and your friends. You had only one piece of it before she grabbed the cake with her bare hands and threw it to the floor of your apartment. When you burst into tears over your ruined cake, and other things, she kneeled on the floor and cried while she cleaned it up. Telling you in between sobs that she was sorry and she'd make you a new one.
You set your fork down and pushed the rest of your cake away. Everyone was in the middle of a conversation, so you really didn't think anyone would notice.
Except Regina fumbled over her words mid conversation as soon as you did it and when you looked up, you saw her eyes darting between you and Alice. She shook her head slightly and pushed her hair behind her ear, recovering her fumble smoothly.
You felt bad. You pulled the cake back toward you again and continued to eat it. Quickly realizing that although it tastes just as good as it used to, it would never taste the same.
---
Regina and Aaron left around 7pm. Regina helped Alice tidy up while you made them both plates of leftovers to bring home with them. Aaron sat on the couch and turned your tv on. Alice said he could, but you just didn't like that he actually did it.
You and Alice settled into bed early, both of you exhausted from all the things you had to do today. Though Alice finds that kind of stuff way more rewarding than you do.
Alice was already tucked into bed, her back toward you while she talked about how much fun she had today, how great Gina seemed, how useful it could be to have Aaron around, that she would love to hang out with them more.
Your responses were automatic. You were hearing her, but not really listening. All you could offer right now were some 'yeah', 'I agree', 'I'm glad, babe'. It's all you had in your right now.
You put on your pajamas and stood at your nightstand, taking off all the jewelry you had on today.
A sliver of light through the window caught your attention, both of you forgetting to close the shade before getting dressed. You made your way to the window, going in between the curtains to look for the little rope to close the shade.
You caught glimpse of Aaron walking around in his underwear and went to hurry to lower to shade, seeing way more of him than you ever would've care to.
But you paused when Regina walked into the room, both of them having some sort of heated discussion before Aaron waved her off and walked out of the room.
You knew you needed to close your blinds now. To give Regina privacy to change her clothes. Except you watched her move around her room instead. You watched her pick out her pajamas, pull her sheets back.
When she turned around and made eye contact with you through her own window, you felt like you had been caught. You looked away quickly, pretending the shade was stuck.
When you finished your fake fiddling with the shade, Regina was still staring at you. When she saw she had your attention again, she wasted no time pulling her shirt above her head.
She was naked from the waist up, giving you a view of her small pregnant belly and her breasts. You breath hitched in your throat and you gripped the string on the shade tightly, mentally scolding yourself because you know you needed to look away.
Instead you continued to watch her as she snuck her thumbs under the waistband of her shorts, ever so slightly beginning to pull them down.
"You coming, baby?" Alice says from the bed behind you.
You turn around quickly, yanking the string and shoving your way out of the thick curtains.
"Yes, I'm coming, babe!" You say, your heart racing for many reasons now. "I was just being nosy. There was a cop parked across the street. They just left." You lie, turning around to peak behind the now closed blinds again. Regina had closed her shades in your absence and you sighed in relief through your nose.
You rubbed your forehead with your fingertips and climbed into bed with your way, turning off the lights before you settled.
You laid on your back, Alice's feet tangled with yours. She fell asleep quickly. A trait you wish you possessed. Instead you lie awake, thinking about the whole incident at the window. About how you almost wish Alice didn't call for you. That her shade was still open and she was there waiting for you when you returned.
Alice snuggled closer to you, throwing an arm over your stomach and smushing her face into your shoulder. You rubbed her arm softly, your thoughts still plagued by Regina.
Is it too soon to be thinking about selling this house?
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runningfrom2am · 11 months ago
Text
cold nights // part seventeen
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summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.8k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness (r has a panic attack), she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: this is the tea guys get ready for a LOADED chapter. also,, i apologize.
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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Coryo wants to ask you who that guy was- why he made you so instantly uncomfortable, and he wants to, but he's cut off before he can get a word out by someone shouting your name. You tense under his hold, freezing on the spot. Then your name comes again, and as Coryo turns to see the face of whoever it is, he was met with the very same blonde boy just a few feet away.
"Hey, leavin' already?" He asks, tilting his head at you as you turn. He doesn't even spare a glance in Coryo's direction. "Didn't even say hello."
"Oh, well, I'm just... not feeling well." You reply, dropping Coryo's hand in favour of shielding yourself around your waist.
"Oh, that's a shame. Can I walk you home?" He offers.
"I've got it, actually." Coryo answers stiffly, straightening his shoulders as he takes in the boy's attire. Blue slacks, a white T-shirt, and a buzzcut. He's a peacekeeper.
The boy looks him up and down, a smirk forming on his lips. "This is your mentor. Saw him on TV with you, I didn't realise that was a... permanent arrangement."
"Coriolanus just came to visit. He's a good friend." You say quietly, hardly to be heard over the Covey band playing in the background.
"Oh! A friend. Of course." He laughs, speaking to you, but his eyes are locked with Coryo's; unafraid, taunting. "And here I was thinking you had a type."
"Y/N has never mentioned you." Coryo states, shoving his hands into his pockets to keep himself from throwing a punch. "Who are you, exactly?"
"Right! Sorry, I'm Cole." The blonde boy replies.
Coryo could laugh. Clearly, he was local. "Should I take a blind guess at where your father works, Cole?"
His jaw tenses in response, but then he laughs. "Yeah, yeah. You'd probably be right." He reaches up, running his hand over his jaw. "You know, if Y/N isn't up to giving you a tour, maybe I could take you out in the woods and show you where your father was murdered. How does that sound, Snow?"
You look up at your friend, eyes wide. Coryo doesn't know what to say or do, but he looks pissed. "Cole, enough." You state, trying to steady the shake in your voice. "That was cruel and you know it."
"Oh, was it? Sorry." He apologizes, but he's looking past you at a seething Coriolanus. He can only hear his heartbeat in his ears, and he wants nothing more than to beat this guy to a pulp right where he stands.
"Coryo, let's just go, please..." He can suddenly hear your voice, and feel your hands against his chest, trying to urge him out the door.
"Yeah, you two head out." Cole chuckles, lifting one hand in a wave. "I'll give you some advice though, bud, you're not getting anything from her by walking her home. I've been down that road and jeez- it's really not worth it."
Coryo didn't care anymore if you were trying to get him out; he steps past you and is throwing a fist right into Cole's nose before you could make a move to stop him. Bringing up his father was one thing, saying something so disgusting about you was totally another. Coriolanus would not look past that and be a pacifist right now- even if that's what you wanted.
You stumble back with a gasp, hands flying up to cover your mouth. You stand frozen as Coryo knocks him down, laying punch after punch onto a boy you once thought of as a friend.
Hit. After. Hit.
You couldn't see his eyes. You weren't sure why you were looking. Deep down, you knew you wouldn't like what you saw.
You back up. Back, back, back until your head hits the wall and you can't keep going. You didn't realize you were breathing so fast until you started to get dizzy. People are shouting, a crowd is forming. Too many people, too much screaming- the music has stopped, and you watch from outside your body as Sejanus wraps his arms around Coriolanus's waist and yanks him back so he's standing upright again.
He wipes his bloodied mouth on his wrist, then promptly pushes his hair back out of his eyes as he spits the blood in his mouth down on Cole as he lies on the ground. Time is moving so slowly that you're not even sure he's moving. Is he dead?
Your eyes flit back up to Coriolanus again, and his eyes catch yours. You try to take a step back again, but the wall is still there. Shades of red cloud the edges of your vision, and you're stuck making eye contact with him. Frozen, and terrified.
"No- no, no Y/N, wait-" He starts to speak to you. You wonder if you're dreaming. If this was another nightmare- worse than the others. It was personal. "Y/N- hey, don't look at me like that. Come on, don't look at me like that. Talk to me." He's saying, pleading with you, and you can only read his lips as tears fall quick and heavy from your eyes.
He takes one step with empty but bloodied hands held out in front of him, and you're running. It's the worst kind of deja vu. You don't know where to go- you can't go outside. He knows where you live, where your family lives, and it's too long of a walk to be able to make it. He would catch you if you tried to run home alone.
You're trying to sprint through a crowd of drunk people, many of whom are fighting as well now, and you almost don't even notice when you take a hit to the side of the head with someone's elbow as you try and get to the back room. You don't have time to care. You look back over your shoulder, shoving your way through as quickly as you can. He's following you. You can see his blonde hair in the semi-cleared path you made for yourself.
You can't look back, you have to look forward as you dart down the dark hallway, praying that the Covey's makeshift dressing room has a lock on the door. You didn't even realize you were screaming until you slammed the door behind you, scrambling for the lock and sliding the rusty metal shut as you barricaded the door with your body.
"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" Coryo shouts, shoving his way through the crowd behind you. You can't hear him, even when he catches your eyes. That same fear behind them made his gut twist.
He only just clears the crowd behind you when someone is standing right in his path, grabbing his shoulders and shoving him back. Lucy Gray. She wasn't strong, but she needed to be. "What have you done!" She's shouting right in his face, pushing him back again, but it does little to move him. "Why would you do that in front of her?! Get out of here! Now!"
"No, no, Lucy Gray I need to-"
"Coriolanus Snow if you don't get away from her right now I swear to god I-"
"No, you don't understand I-"
"I understand damn fine, thank you!" She huffs. "Sejanus, go get Lennox."
He didn't even clock that Sejanus was holding onto him, keeping him from getting any closer to you even though you were locked behind that door he could see just feet away. He could hear you screaming, sobbing, and he only wanted to help.
"Okay, yeah. I will." Sejanus says, turning his grip onto Coryo's arm. "Come on, you gotta go."
He had seen Sejanus angry before, but it was never directed at him. "Sejanus, please, I have to help her, I can't go through this again I really-"
"You can help her by leaving."
Coryo's heart sinks in his chest, but he lets Sejanus pull him away, and he stares hopelessly back over his shoulder at the door as Lucy Gray knocks on it, talking to you through the metal barrier protecting you from him.
"Y/N/N, hey, it's me. It's Lucy Gray. You gotta let me in, sweetheart. Come on, open up." She's trying to stay calm as she knocks on the door, repeatedly trying the handle on it. "I'm alone, I promise you're safe, Y/N/N. Open the door, please."
You can hear her, but everything besides your broken sobs sounds distant as you're curled up against the opposite wall. There's not enough air in the world right now to keep you conscious- there must not be a window back here. You force yourself back onto your feet, stumbling as you try to stand up and you can hardly see. It's hot.
You look up, there's no vents. The ceiling is too high. Somehow, that makes you feel more claustrophobic.
You make your way over to the door, your palms against it and feeling soft knocks coming from the other side.
"Lucy Gray?" You sniff, unsure now that it was even her voice that you heard.
"Yes, sweetheart. It's just me, can you let me in, please?"
You take three deep breaths.
"Y/N/N?"
With a shaky hand, you reach up and slide the lock open.
She tries the handle again, looking back over her shoulder when it cracks open this time.
You step back quickly as the door is slowly pushed open, almost falling back with the urge to run. You hardly remember why you would open the door.
"Hey, hey, just me." Your best friend says, quickly closing the door again and locking it behind herself.
She eyes you carefully, and your arms are wrapped tightly around your midsection. You don't look like yourself- eyes wide with nothing more than terror behind them, like you're physically holding yourself together and it's not really working as your chest rises and falls so fast she can almost see your muscles straining to keep up. She wants nothing more than to pull you into her arms and tell you it's okay, but she's not sure touching you would be wise. "You okay, Hun?"
You look at her with tear-filled eyes, shaking your head.
"That's okay." She nods at you, understanding and filled with worry. "Do you want to sit? I'll get you some water and we can talk, okay?"
You nod, swallowing over the dryness you didn't even notice in your throat left over from all the screaming and crying. If you didn't know better, you would have thought you swallowed a full box of cotton.
Lucy Gray nods, double checking the door is locked before going over to her bag in the corner and grabbing a water bottle. You watch her the whole way and her calmness slightly soothes you, just enough to sit down at the bench and table beside you.
Lucy Gray isn't scared. You're safe here. You have to remind yourself over and over that you're safe now.
"Your brother is on his way." She assures you, sitting down across the bench from you and holding out the water she just opened for you.
"Okay." You say quietly, taking it and just holding it in your lap. You try and take a deep breath, your head falling back as you shut your eyes, trying to force the fear to leave your body.
"There you go, good. Keep breathing." You hear her tell you and you swallow again. "Can you talk to me? Tell me what happened. No one can hurt you here, I promise."
"Coryo, go home." Sejanus instructs him, turning him in the opposite direction, as if he couldn't do it himself. He had absolutely zero interest in going back to that cold empty house they had borrowed for the month.
Especially after what he had done to you. Again.
He promptly turns back around in the street. "No, I'm coming with you."
Sejanus sighs, rubbing his hands down his face. "I don't have time for this-"
"I agree. Let's go get him."
"Don't you get it?" Sejanus laughs bitterly, eyes wide with exasperation as he shakes his head. "Don't you know what you've done to her?"
"Of course I get it!" Coryo shouts in response. "I've ruined everything! I know that!"
Sejanus opens his mouth to speak, quickly shutting it again.
"I'm killing her! I'm killing her and I can hardly breathe right now and I need her to know I didn't mean to scare her and the only way I can show her that is helping her now. That's the mistake I made last time, and I won't do it again. I won't." He shakes his head, reaching up and pushing his hair back out of his eyes.
"She talked to me, on the last night I saw her. She screamed, and cried, just like that," He gestures vaguely toward the building you're still trapped inside, "and she asked if that's who I was and I couldn't tell her no. She asked if I regretted it and I do, more than anything, and I'm pretty sure she's the only damn reason why and she doesn't know that!"
"I can't lose her." He adds after a moment of the two boys just staring at each other. "Not again, Sejanus. I'm scared of who I'll be without her."
Sejanus shakes his head slightly, looking up at the stars as he takes a deep breath. He was mad at Coryo for scaring you, but he was his friend, and if this is how he wanted to help, he couldn't bring himself to push him away after he was sure that Coryo had never been so honest in his life.
"Okay. Let's go."
There are still lights on in the house when Sejanus knocks on the door. Coryo is standing at his side, chest tight. Your brother already didn't like him- he knew this wouldn't go well at all, but he couldn't walk away from you now. If it was your brother you needed, he would get him for you.
The door opens and they're lucky to see that it was Lennox who answered.
"Where's my sister?" He asks immediately, noting that you weren't with them.
"Something happened, and Lucy Gray asked us to come get you." Sejanus answers, and Coryo's breath hitches as your brother's eyes lock on him.
"What did you do?" He spits, and for a moment Coryo wonders how you could even be related.
He feels himself go pale. "I'm sorry, I really am..."
"Pa!" Your brother shouts back into the house, not giving him the chance to explain further. "We gotta go get Y/N/N, somethin' happened to her."
"What?" Your dad's voice comes next, panicked and frantic as he hurries to the door, not even bothering to grab a coat as he and his son push past the boys on the porch.
Coryo hadn't had the chance to meet him yet, and the fact that this is his first impression makes him feel ill.
"What happened, is she hurt?" He asks, stalking quickly down the front path and they follow hastily after.
"She's not hurt." Sejanus assures him quickly.
"She, uhm, maybe..." Coryo says, embarrassingly non-confident. Everyone looks at him. "She caught an elbow to the head, I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry."
"You're Coriolanus?" Your dad says, turning to look at him only briefly.
"Yes, sir."
"Thank you for coming to get us." He replies, nodding to him. "You did the right thing."
Coryo has to ignore the glares Lennox is shooting into him. He must be the only one who knows.
"We didn't know it would be unsafe for her, but we should have. I apologize." Sejanus says, and your father slightly shakes his head.
"She's got a smart head on her shoulders. She wouldn't've gone if she thought something would happen. Can't blame anyone." He replies. "There's no guidebook on how to live with this stuff."
"I have a good idea of what not to do." Lennox cuts in, and Coryo catches him staring at his bruised knuckles. He quickly tucks his hands into his pockets.
Peacekeepers had cleared out the Hob by the time they got back. Coryo recognizes the other kids in Lucy Gray's band as they stand outside, presumably waiting for her to come out. She was still with you, maybe that was a good thing.
"Tam Amber, is Lucy Gray with her?" Your father asks the boy, who nods in response.
"They won't let you in here, but go try the back door. Goes straight to our room, that's where I saw her go."
"Thanks, Son." Your father nods, lips pursed together as he pats his shoulder and quickly brushes past, rounding the side of the building.
Coryo tries to follow, but Lennox stops him abruptly with a hand on his chest. "You better go."
"Listen, I, I don't know what she told you, but-"
"She told me everything I need to know about you." He says, looking back over his shoulder at his dad knocking on the door, ear pressed to it as he calls out for you and Lucy Gray. "And I know that you being here will just make it worse. So go."
Coryo nods, running a hand down his face. "Listen, I get it, I do, but I can't lose her again. I can't. I have to explain-"
"No, no." Lennox cuts him off. Coryo is sick of people cutting him off. "Can't you just let her be happy? We're doing everything we can to convince her she's still alive- that she's safe and it was hard enough already before you showed up. Literally every night she has nightmares about you, because she trusted you. Completely. You've been here less than a day and you hurt her all over again- I can't just stand by and let that happen."
"I did it because that guy said something horrible about her- I just, I couldn't let him get away with that!" Coryo protests, scared that no one would actually give him a chance. "Last time I didn't get to talk to her and I think that's what she needs."
"Oh, you think that? That's spectacular. She'll be cured!" Lennox laughs dryly, rolling his eyes. "We don't need you to fix her. I really don't have time for this, Coryo."
He practically spits the nickname at him, laced with venom as he turns on his heel to go to the door.
Coryo groans, running his hands down his face again as he watches the door open for your brother and father.
"It's like," You take a deep, shaky breath, squeezing the water bottle you're holding in your lap. "It's like he is a different person, Lucy Gray. Do you get it now? Did you see?"
"I believe you. I always have." She nods, looking into your eyes. "I saw it, but..." She sighs, breaking eye contact with you. "I don't think he's a vicious person, Y/N. And I don't think you think that either."
You chew your lip, shaking your head as your eyes fall to the floor.
"Can I give you my opinion?" Lucy Gray asks after a moment, reaching out to hold your hand.
"Truth is truth to the end of reckoning." You say plainly, nodding and gripping onto her hand.
"There's no reckoning, love, okay? I'm your friend first and foremost. I want to help you, and I will always be honest with you." She assures you before continuing. "But I think... I think he's just a normal boy. Boys get in fights all the time-"
"Lucy Gray you didn't see it."
Your best friend is calm, despite you interrupting her. You never did that, but she knows better than to fault you for it now. "Okay, alright. What didn't I see?"
Your hair falls into your eyes as you shake your head, and you quickly push it back with your free hand to look at her. "His eyes."
"His eyes, okay... What about them?"
"He gets... It's scary. Like he wants to do it. Like he enjoys hurting people and, and-" Just recalling it makes your heart rate increase.
"Okay. I believe you." She nods, placing her other hand on yours. "But I think this is more about you than him, sweetheart."
Lucy Gray can see the confusion that knits itself into your creased brow. "It was a scary, traumatic time for you, and I think you're still recovering and that's okay. You may never be the same and that's okay. But I don't think he'd hurt you. I really don't. I think he's a good person."
"I want to think that..." You sniff, shaking your head. "but just as easily that could have been me in the arena. And just as easily that could have been you out there, or, or..." Your train of thought dissipates. "I just mean it doesn't seem that anything is stopping him."
"I don't think it could have been you. He cares about you. You told me that, remember?" She smiles softly. "I think it was inconsiderate of him to act that way out there, but I think you were just reliving something you shouldn't have to. The games can make anyone do bad things."
"Maybe..." You mutter, second-guessing yourself now. You didn't even see his eyes tonight, not until he was looking at you and begging you to listen when you couldn't. He looked just as scared as you, as soon as he realized what he had done.
"Are you sure you saw that today?" Lucy Gray's question shocks you, but it's exactly what you were thinking. "His eyes, I mean. Did you see it again or did you just expect to after last time?"
You jump at the rapid knocking on the back door. Lucy Gray stands up, making her way over to it. You hear muffled voices for a few moments before Lucy Gray returns. "It's your family, I'm going to let them in, okay?" She pats your leg and you nod, and she smiles at you reassuringly before walking away.
You hear the door creak open and you stand up, brushing off the front of your dress and turning to face them as your father and Lennox rush in.
"Honey, are you okay?" Your father asks, quickly gathering you into a hug and you nod, biting back more tears.
"Fine just fine." You whisper. "I'm sorry you had to come all this way..."
Lucy Gray catches a glimpse of Sejanus and Coryo standing outside as she lets your family in, looking back at them talking to you when she slips out. She gently closes the door behind herself and walks up to them. "I thought I told you to go home."
"I know, I know, but-" Coryo looks between her and the door. He sighs, deciding to give up on defending himself. "Is she okay?"
Lucy Gray looks at him, arms crossed over her chest as his hair falls in his eyes and he doesn't immediately fix it, more concerned about you than anything else. "You need to cut your hair." She states plainly.
He's confused, opening his mouth to argue when she speaks again. "You need to cut your hair so she can see your eyes. She'll feel safer with you then." She turns on her heel, nodding to Sejanus before heading back for the door. "When we get her out of there you better be gone- she can't see either of you tonight." She pauses, hand on the handle. "But yes, she'll be okay."
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