#I'm not ready to be an actual adult

[bigbrainbiology]

I swear I've been doing some art... <3

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 59

Danny is exploring- definitely not lost in- the ghost zone. And even if he is lost it’s not important, really! He has more important things to worry about- like the fact that he’s found a solid dozen ghost toddlers who are now all clinging to him or demanding for information he doesn’t exactly have? He’s not ready to be a ghost-dad! 

[prefrontal-bastard]

(Context: I'm AuDHD and have ZERO ability to do the thing when I think about doing the thing. I'm trying a new stimulant, Azstarys, and it's given me that ability.)

What it's like having executive function: The moment I think about doing something, it's done. For the first time ever I can make my body move as fast as I can think.

I've been awake for 5½ hours and this is what I've completed:

Went to say hi to a friend for his birthday, which involved: Driving across town, driving into downtown, and finding parking at a parking meter to go to an unfamiliar restaurant.

Dropped him and his wife off back at their house, which involved: Navigating on slippery and unfamiliar roads at night on semi-plowed roads.

Got home and cleaned my room, which involved: Putting all the crap I had strewn about into bins, putting the bins into the halls, picking garbage off the floor, pulling out the broom and dustpan, sweeping, pulling out the vacuum, vacuuming, pulling out furniture, pushing the furniture back, walking up and down the basement stairs to get things, putting the broom back, putting the vacuum back, putting the bins with crap back into my room to sort through later.

Made myself a milkshake, which involved: Pulling out all ingredients, making the milkshake, putting all the ingredients back, and hand-washing the blender and lid. And then I cleaned the few dishes left in the sink and cleaned the sink itself because it looked a little crusty.

The main takeaway I've learned from all this?

Efficiency is a bio-mechanical function, and how well this mechanical function works is NOT a matter of self-discipline or willpower.

When you have working executive function—when it doesn't cause your nervous system pain to set-switch and to execute tasks—doing tasks is EASY. SO EASY. MINDLESS. The moment I'd think about doing something, my body is suddenly doing it.

Additionally, none of this exhausted me. None of it inflicted pain on my nervous system. In fact, the only reason why I'd stop doing a task is purely because it gets boring to do, NOT because I'm burning out from constant pain-exposure.

Fuck literally everyone who claims this shit's a matter of willpower or discipline. If it feels like that to them, then that's testament to just how fucking easy they have it.

[captainjonnitkessler]

I wrote out a long post about how exhausting it is to be online when everyone is so absolutely devoted to being negative about everything all the time. According to twitblr everything is the worst it's ever been, no victories have ever been achieved, and anyone who says otherwise or has any semblance of hope or joy in their lives is a naive idiot being manipulated by the vague yet menacing Ruling Class.

Then I didn't post it because I'm usually fine about receiving negative comments but I swear to fuck on this post in particular having someone try to dunk on me by telling me "actually everything IS the worst it's ever been and you're just a neoliberal cuck" WILL be the last fucking straw for me

[joanofexys]

guys i take it back i don't want to graduate in two days i want to be a kid again the world is actually so scary

[sisterdivinium]

"We can't kill this woman, she's astounding" -- I couldn't agree more with what was said of Sylvia by Mr Hayter himself after the revelation that they were going to kill Superion off. Wow.

Then again, this ties in with one of the many things I eventually want to talk about concerning what the show did or didn't do with its older cast and it's very interesting to see that... The older characters really were in peril and escaped death thanks to decisions made in the writers' room later on, mostly because they liked the actors so much. Narratively speaking, within the genre, it was very likely we'd see them go and these comments by one of the writers confirm it.

Good thing the show really didn't care about sticking to the conventional!

[s4pphic-sh3nan1gans]

love that my mum just gave me a lecture (more like an unnecessary reason to argue with me though tbh) about internet safety as if I'm doing something really terrible and I'm a vulnerable, naïve child when I'm literally almost 20 years old :)

[caspersscareschool]

.

[axewchao]

Beanies are still weird for me to draw :'D

'Cause I mean... when you look at some of them, it looks like the hat's barely hanging onto the wearer's head, doesn't it?

But I will master it. I must, for the sake of FNaF!Dal, and any other characters with beanies in the past, present, and future >:'T

[ayosdesignz-blog]

Spoilers for across the Spiderverse I guess.

Finally watched Across the Spiderverse and despite the spoilers and observations I'd read beforehand, I'm offended by both Spot and Miguel.

Like...to the point I don't understand why the content I came across generally really liked them? Miguel especially. FUCK Miguel. Good guy my ass. Dude has practically built a cult. And he's the unquestioned head who's word is law and doesn't have to listen to anyone just because.

I don't understand the vehement and persistent hate these 2 GROWN ASS MEN have towards a damn 14-now 15 year old boy. A goddamn child.

Both keep victim blaming and pushing and projecting their mistakes, the wrong doings of others, the plot of fucking KINGPIN onto him and I just DON'T understand. Miles literally did NOTHING wrong to get this kind of vitriol from a pair of strangers who Actually know what's up. Or that claim to anyways.

Spot over here claiming to be the scientist that made/had the spider that made Miles Spiderman. He also basically admitted to being one of the evil scientists that was under goddamn Kingpin's employ. The same Kingpin who cooked up and pressed and demanded his selfish world destroying demands be met. Yet he wants to blame the scared child who was literally only defending himself and trying to do good by helping to stop more ppl (including that family he claims he lost but had actually rejected him for reasons) don't die. Why is he not mad at his boss? Former boss? Why is he not taking responsibility for losing the spider experiment? Yet he wants credit in making the newest spiderman? Why does he want to make a literal child the root of his problem instead of literally any of the adults it could've been...like other Peter?

Only thing I can think of is that he's such a sad pathetic piece of incompetent shit that a damn (mostly)clueless child was the only target he could shift blame too and feel like he could properly threaten and win against. Only to be proven wrong and have the audacity to be offended that the child he's failing to harm doesn't take him seriously nor accept the false responsibility of his own problems he's trying to place on Miles.

And then there's Miguel's bitch ass.

Acting all knowing and despite being aware of the facts that Miles is OBJECTIVELY not at fault or aware of any problems (aside from Spot) is unnecessarily rude and hostile towards him from the very start.

And when he calms down enough to actually talk and explain some things like a rational person, it's essentially to give his own crazy (and mildly horrifying from implications cuz STALKER USURPER ALERT) sob story so he can tell a kid to let his dad be killed "because the worlds will end otherwise" and basically imply that since Miles saved Captain Singh they'll have to murder that cop to make things "right".

And then later, when he catches Miles outside after that ridiculous and hilarious chase was somehow compelled to tell this child, with words filled with (unnecessary) aggressive hate, that he's a "mistake" that shouldn't exist and should have never been spiderman.

Smells like self projecting to me.

And also, it's bullshit!

Based on what I recall from this movie I just watched, one or both of these men I can't stand is lying. Spot is claiming to be of Miles' dimension with the radio active spider but Miguel is claiming that spider is from a different dimension.

And the fact that Miguel rudely brings up more trauma, victim blames MORE, and tries to put the responsibility of a death caused by a murderous adult villain onto that same (child) victim only to later try to lament to the other spider ppl that Miles "won't listen" and "talking won't work" since he just tried it honestly put him on my character shit list.

Like I knew from spoilers that he was deemed attractive and interesting and that he didn't like this version of Miles but I didn't have like...any indepth details or whatever. I wasn't actively looking for spoilers.

I went into this movie expecting to like him, even just somewhat. But honestly? Fuck that guy. And not in a sexy way.

I mean...He immediately attempts to intimidate a child into submission upon 1st meeting for no reason after being rude as fuck while said child was trying to make a good impression and was honestly just happy to be there. And then he later tries to emotionally (and mentally?) break Miles verbally as if him loving his family, wanting his dad alive if possible is a bad thing. I had assumed, before going in that Miguel had at least started off civil and professionally polite with Miles. Figured Miles had purposely done something to his face that made Miguel go from cautious to distant. He hadn't. At all.

It's giving racist lowkey for the way he literally hates this mixed, primarily black presenting, child for existing and the way he said he wanted to just ignore/pretend that Hobie (another black male) was even there also made me raise an eyebrow. Maybe it's cuz of my own experience dealing with prejudice from ppl I least expected it from as a kid myself but Miguel is giving it and that's what I'm seeing and he's an asshat for it. He has no right and no reason to act as he did let alone say what he said. Fuck his ✨️trauma✨️ caused by his own mistakes as an adult who damn well knew better.

Mans literally stalked his own doppelganger and inserted himself into the other him's life once that one died only for it all to go to shit from glitches likely because he shouldn't have been there and what Kingpin was doing. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he'd killed his other self to live that dream life he wanted so bad.

Yet he wants everyone to believe a child in the wrong place at the wrong time and being saved by a superhero before taking up the mantel of a hero himself in honor of his savior since shit just happened to him...in his OWN WORLD MIND YOU, is completely wrong and unacceptable.

He can miss me with that bullshit. He's wrong period in my book.

Also if Miles is considered the: "oRIgInaL anOmALy" and has been living life just fine with powers caused by a alternate dimension spider then there's probably a good chance he can change his world's "canon events" without things going to shit since according to bitchMiguel, Mile's has technically been doing that from the start by even existing.

Think about it: Miles became a spiderman with active spider ppl there to train him. He wasn't alone or even the 1st spider person there. He knew what was happening as he changed since it had happened before and was publicized. His love interest Gwen is not only from a different dimension but also spiderwoman. A civilian unrelated to him knew of him and the others and provided additional support without becoming a liability, his uncle may have died but was a criminal unlike all the (known?) others, he's had no glitch or issues with his powers, he has more powers than the basic spiderman w/o the need of a suit, he's got both parents and both love him and also think rather positively of Spiderman w/o knowing it's him. His cop dad willingly works with spiderman too.

Also am I the only one concerned that the so called sophisticated technology they have to send ppl back to their dimensions has semi regularly sent their captures back to the wrong place? Because the only thing they tried to do was stop the machine from sending him, so unless that affected the way it operates to determine where a person is from that means they probably have been sending ppl to the wrong places, unknowingly fucking shit up just as much if not more in the multiverse than b4 they tried to correct it.

I bet they're actually wrong about all kinds of things and their causes and just don't realize it.

But I am estatic Hobie is just as awesome as I was lead to believe. Watching him, listening to what he says, I firmly believe he was an op to the spider society from the start to learn what he could, try to get other spiders to THINK more, and prepare for when he decides to leave them so he doesn't need them to utilize the tools they had a monopoly on.

I mean bro made the tactical decision to quit when Miguel and others were fully distracted by Miles on some sketchy shit and I feel like that kept him from having to deal with a cult leader bitchMiguel trying to make an example out of him for doing so or something.

[haospart]

New babie. To be stolen by @tearlessrain and @mercurypilgrim bc someone needs to look after the child.

Jem and Mittens have they dayum hands full with this one jfdklasjfa.

-------

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[thesmokinpossum]

also tomorrow i need to tell some really nice dude i went on a couple of date with that it's just not gonna work out and not trying to be dramatic or anything but the stress of it kinda makes me feel like a piece of charcoal in a burning bbq

[forgotten-daydreamer]

one day people will stop saying they have bpd just because they get "irrationally angry sometimes", but that day is not today, unfortunately for us all.

[zemnarihah]

the thing is i'm so ready for this semester to be over buuuut i really don't want to go on summer break... maybe it would be nice if i didn't have to work but like. lol. basically i just hate the feeling of not really relaxing but not having a structured way to work on my actual goals and interests.

[tvrningout-a]

on a side note, one of my favorite n.aruto soundtracks came on and just like that, it's nostalgia city :' ))) pls share with the class your favorite old anime soundtrack that sends you back in time, be it n.aruto or otherwise <3

[whentherewerebicycles]

ok well i drove 50 min in moderately heavy traffic to get to this place only to discover that they accidentally sent my security credential to the washington dc office instead of the washington state office 🫠 then had to drive 35 min back (less traffic, at least?). kind of an annoying way to waste a morning but whatever i listened to music and thought about my story idea in traffic so at least there’s that. unfortunately this means i will have to go back sometime in the near future once they get it shipped over.

i spent a couple hours this morning prepping for the campus visit but then started overwhelming myself a little bit so i think i’m gonna gently dial that back for today and return to it later. i honestly think i could do most of the visit tomorrow and it would be just fine. the only parts that feel like big question marks are the job talk i have to give to faculty (on a prompt that will not be provided until a week or so beforehand) and an “informal workshop or something like that” i have to lead with students (they haven’t settled the details yet). but like, both of those will be fine! i’m just raring to get started on the prep work yknow and not having clear parameters means i will do the classic jes thing of going deeper and deeper into various rabbitholes until someone stops me lol.

to try to give myself some parameters:

in general, i want to approach the research/prep work less as “i must do this otherwise i won’t be prepared!!! what if someone grills me on the research on this hyper-specific topic!!!!” and more as “would doing this research be interesting to me and useful to my work as a teacher even if i weren’t prepping for an interview? if so, proceed.”

buzzwords and specific citations don’t matter! what matters is my ability to clearly communicate my big picture values as an educator and administrator, the concrete things i’ve done to enact those values in my past work, and the vision i have for building on that work in the future in this specific institutional context. if i start feeling overwhelmed or like i am beginning to flounder, i return to my core values, my concrete actions, and my vision. i trust that in an interview or job talk context i’ll be able to draw on specific examples to illustrate those things or use my deeper knowledge to answer trickier questions if they arise. 

to keep myself focused on the high-level / big-picture philosophy i want to convey, i think it might be useful to actually make a list of core values or guiding beliefs - so that i have a VERY clear sense of what i’m trying to communicate and a very concrete document to refer back to when i’m feeling a little at sea. i think that should probably be the first thing i do and the main focus of this week, before i let myself delve any further into researching random little topics that might come up in some hypothetical interview situation lol.

i want to remember something macky said, which is that most people would prefer to talk and work with someone who’s curious about the world they’re entering rather than hyper-focused on explaining how awesome they are and how much stuff they’ve done in the past. so i don’t want to let my little insecurities about whether i’m Really Qualified For This Job lead me to knowledge-dump or talk endlessly about myself to try to “prove” something. i want to go into this experience with the calm, grounded belief that this is work i am well equipped to do, so that i can keep the campus visit itself focused on engaging with students/faculty, asking lots of thoughtful questions about the school’s work and priorities, and just in general showing that i can be a good colleague/teammate who people would enjoy working with.