#also oversharing supreme mode activated but like...
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also tomorrow i need to tell some really nice dude i went on a couple of date with that it's just not gonna work out and not trying to be dramatic or anything but the stress of it kinda makes me feel like a piece of charcoal in a burning bbq
#and it's the only free day in the entire year at the museum so it's gonna be crazy busy all day right before i meet him so that's nice#i knew dating was a mistake lmao#btw i'm not afraid he's going to hurt me or go crazy or anything but i really hate hurting people feelings#also oversharing supreme mode activated but like...#i just realized that i actually never had to reject someone after actually going out with them#my teen/super young adult self just kinda ghosted people until they got mad and then i was like well fuck you i guess (yeah that's bad)#and now i usually just straight up reject every attempt at dating me and immediately put people in the friendzone#and my whole problem is that i actually really only feel friendship for this guy after all#so i'll be quite sad if he don't want to interact with me at all anymore and it might makes things slightly awkward#since we have common acquaintances#but it is what it is#i'm probably overreacting tbh#like we went on 3 dates and i honestly feel like i'm gonna ask this man for a divorce#like i'm sure he'll be kinda sad and maybe a bit mad but i'm out there with the level of guilt i'd have if i left him after 20 years#your girl is NOT ready to date i need more time more healing and another break from weed#do I even want to go back into dating like ever is another question but let's not go there tonight i'm already fatigued enough
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