#I'm not going to forgive her even a little bit bc i treat people the way they treat me

[graveyarrdshift]

lol, lmao even

[luckybunny555]

Secret admirer

You make the final choice in relation to your secret admirer after the revelation of their motivations.

Amber Freeman x GN!/Fem!Reader(no pronouns but for sapphics)

Warnings: creepy behavior, stalking, cursing, usual Ghostface behavior, a little bit of trust issues, being "attacked" but not harmed, mentions of murder and violence(no big description tho), a little suggestive in the end(as a treat ;) )

a/n: Part 3. I didn't proof-read it. I had to divide it three parts bc I thought it was still too long, so this is the last and shortest one.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You close your eyes, trying to make sense of everything and calm your mind, that was still taking in her whole monologue. You regain awareness of your body, finally noticing the hand on your hip. The sensation clouded your thoughts again. You open your eyes, feeling her breath mingling with yours. With a deep exhale, you finally speak, "Wait, so..." you start, sounding a bit breathless and confused, "you sent me all those letters? And you attacked Tara, and killed that guy? I don't get it, why did you do all of this?" If her goal was to make you a little scared, there was a whole collection of horror movies waiting for the two of you.

"Because it wasn't enough," she explained with passion, trying to get you to understand her, the side of her that was still new to you. "I needed you closer. I needed you to need me. And only me. Not Tara, not Mindy, or Wes, or Chad," with that, you understand the first attack. She noticed you were getting closer to Tara, but she couldn't go all the way, or you wouldn't forgive her. Or be scared of her, instead of looking for her to protect you. That's not what she wanted. She just had to show you Tara was vulnerable, and couldn't keep you safe like she could.

"And come one, didn't you enjoy it? My gifts, my letters, even the creepy ones?" She asks you with that wicked, charming smirk imprinted on her face again.

"I stopped answering you because I was scared," you emphasize your words. "Because I knew someone was watching me, and I was worried I'd get hurt, or kidnapped or worse," your tone escalates, and your gaze is locked on hers.

"Because you didn't know it was me! But now you do," that smirk won't leave her face, and curse you for your taste, because you love the way she looks right now. "Do you really hate that I was the one keeping an eye on you? That I knew you so fucking well, maybe even better than you know yourself, that I gave you exactly what you wanted and needed?" She asks, and you can tell it's a genuine question.

But you can't bring yourself to answer her, not without judging yourself for it. You know you shouldn't admit it. You know you shouldn't give her the satisfaction. But why would you lie? The anger had mostly passed, and you still loved her. And you didn't even hate it. It felt good, to love and to be loved by her. Most people would beg for an ounce of the effort she puts into you. Who else would kill someone to protect you? Who else would watch over you, and get you out of uncomfortable situations without hesitation, and stay up late to comfort you when you're scared, always being there for you? Who else would remember every single one of your favorite books and movies, listen to every word you say, and be this devoted to you? Who else would become a fucking serial killer just because they love you so much?

She laughs, clearly amused by your silent answer. "See? I'm right. You love it," She's so pleased with herself. You close your eyes in defeat, earning a giggle from the girl. "I know that..." she brings her free hand to your face, brushing your hair behind your ear with a careful, gentle touch. Everything about her was two opposites extremes, "because I know you," she smiles, tilting her head to the side. She carefully gets closer to you, her body softly pressing against yours. "C'mon, baby, just admit it."

You see no point in resisting her any longer. It might've been a sick way to get you, but she wasn't wrong: you loved it. From the mysterious letters to the depth of her devotion. And now that you knew it was her, you weren't so scared anymore. You never got hurt. On the contrary. Everything she had done only kept you safe. And it worked like a love spell, captivating you.

"You're insane," your eyes meet hers, and she once again pretends to be offended by your comment. "But I love you," you confess in surrender, making her smile grow wider. She is clearly pleased with the answer she earned from you. "Can you drop the knife now?" The tension in your body gradually dissipates.

She chuckles, dropping the weapon to the floor. She might be the one in control, but she depends on you. To you, she's harmless.

Hesitantly, you bring your hands up, placing them on the nape of her neck. Your eyes are still locked, and this time, your heart races for a good reason. Her expression is softer, satisfied, yet with a remaining trace of venom. Just how you like it. "You're not gonna hurt me, right?" You had enough proof, but you wanted her to admit it again. She loved the way you sounded sweet and vulnerable.

"Never, baby," her voice is tinged with tenderness, and she places a kiss at the top of your cheek, her hands finding your waist. "Not unless you want me to," she adds, teasing you. With the terror melting away, you finally let out a soft laugh. Amber's attention is focused on your smile, and you notice that.

Gently, you bring her face closer, taking your time to connect your lips. Impatiently, she leans closer, kissing you as her hands pull your body against hers. She smiles against your lips, satisfied for finally getting what she wanted for so long. And you reciprocate it.

The two of you get lost in the moment, her lips staining with passion and satisfaction the memories of the scary scene she just made you experience. Now that you know the source of your fears is Amber, you can enjoy the frightening and exhilarating sensations that come with that. This might be what it feels like to enjoy horror movies, but better. Because right now, you could feel her lips on yours. You feel her hands on your lower back and hip, yours entangled in her hair, and your bodies pressing against each other. You never expected your night to turn out like that, especially not when you were crying for your life just a few minutes ago. But wasn't it worth it?

All the desires and feelings you bottled up for so long were finally spilling out, clear in the way your intensity increased. Amber took that as a silent confirmation of your craving for her, the delight of the achievement consuming her. Knowing how much you wanted, and needed her, filled her with a sense of accomplishment. And she was determined to keep that feeling alive.

Momentarily breaking the kiss, her lips trail down to your jawline. Your left hand grips her arm, pulling her even closer as you giggle in satisfaction. You can feel her smile on your skin, your reaction to her kisses pleasing her, as she continues to leave kisses on your jawline, slowly reaching your neck.

Snapping you out of your trance, the sound of your phone ringing causes Amber to groan, displeased with the unfortunate interruption. She moves away from your neck, scanning your expression. "This time it's not me," she teases, feigning innocence.

You playfully scoff, reluctantly pulling away from her and leaning down to grab your phone, that was still on the floor. It was your mom. Amber attentively observes you as you pick up the call.

"Mom?" mindlessly heading to the kitchen, you wonder why she was calling you.

"Hi, sweety," the familiar voice speaks on the phone. "Did you get home safe? Is everything alright? I didn't want to leave you alone, but I had that meeting, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

You look over your shoulder at Amber, who was picking up her mask and knife from the floor. "Uhm, yeah, everything's fine," Amber looks at you with curiosity and a hint of gratefulness. "Amber's here," you catch the girl's attention again, "I didn't wanna be alone so I asked her to come over. Can she stay for dinner?" Your request earns a smile from Amber as she walks towards you, placing her items on the kitchen counter.

"Oh, she's there? Of course, sweetheart, I'll get home soon," your mom sounds pleased with the idea. Obviously because she doesn't know the whole story. But she wouldn't get it. "Amber's a good girl, I like her," she adds.

Her words make you chuckle, and Amber, overhearing the conversation, tilts her head to the side in amusement. "I also think that," you smile, playfully teasing the girl in front of you, despite the truth in your statement.

Once the call ends, Amber can't hide the satisfaction on her face. "I'm a good girl?" she continues to tease you, making you giggle.

"Amber, don't start," you don't resist the urge, kissing her once more. "You better hide this whole costume or you'll lose your nice reputation with my mom," Amber nods, pretending to be concerned.

You look at the box she sent you earlier, then look at her with a pout and annoyed expression, "I can't believe you cut my favorite plushie's head off. That's cruel."

She gives you a mockingly apologetic look, "don't worry, babe, I'll fix it."

The both of you put away the props from Amber's staged attack, hiding the traces of Ghostface's appearance. You would never give away her identity, not now that you knew you had Ghostface infatuated with you. In return, you mentally vowed to protect Amber too, in your own way. With that, she maintained her cool and careless attitude around your friends, her sweet and caring image around your family, and her obsessive, devoted and endlessly loving demeanor with you, and you only.

[outmakingmoonshine]

(Some of) my hopes (and some theories) for S3

The number 1 thing I want is a scene after Nat's had her baby where Carmy sees Syd holding the baby and his entire world stops bc that's all he wants for his future 😭 If Sydcarmy kiss or something I'll be happy and I'll reblog every single gif of it like a normal person BUT if we get a Syd holding the baby scene I'm gonna be uncontrollable on every social media platform available. I might even post it on Reddit and watch the meltdown! This is where the bar of my expectation is for S3. If we get this (or anything remotely like it) I'll be so satisfied, any other good thing that happens between Sydcarmy will be a bonus for me.

We know we're getting a Syd x Pete scene and I want a Carmy x Pete scene where Pete's talking about how great Syd is and Carmy can't help but warm to him a bit more. The potential relationships between Syd x Pete and Pete x Carmy are so important to me 🥹 my three awkward, anxious lonely babies (Pete's not lonely now but I think he probably was once upon a time and the Berzatto men singling him out of the family must make him feel lonely and not good enough :( I love Carmy but I will fight him for Pete's dignity and honour!)

Putting the rest under a cut because it's mostly just my musings and ramblings

I want Nat to say something to Carmy about his relationship with Syd. Nat saw their dynamic before Claire came, she saw Syd's reaction to Claire, how sydcarmy's dynamic changed when Claire was around and how Carmy ditching her made Syd feel. She didn't witness all of that for nothing. Someone's gotta tell Carmy how he's been (unintentionally) making Syd feel and I doubt it'll be Syd.

I need to see Richie start respecting Pete at least a little bit. Carmy's already kind of made a step towards respecting and even appreciating Pete for who he is a bit more but I need to see it from Richie too because I'm pretty sure he's the one who leads that little mob mentality against Pete. Even if it doesn't actually happen this season, I need to see it heading in that direction because Pete doesn't deserve all this slander 😭 I need Richie and Carmy to start seeing that the only difference between them and Pete is that he's mature and confident in who he is. They're both not confident in who they are so their only way of feeling like they're above him/better than him is to make fun of him for it. (IRL grown adults with this infantile mentality get on my last nerve so I need to see them come to a realization soon.)

I want Donna to make amends and start finding peace. I know she's technically an antagonist in this story but it really bothers me the way people dismiss her as if she's some monster like we aren't watching Carmy treat the people he loves the exact same way she does. If we can empathize with a man for his toxic behaviour we can empathize with a woman who was going through her own trauma and loss while she had 3 kids (plus Richie) to look after. Any parent who welcomes another person's child into their family unit for years and makes them feel like part of the family despite whatever she's going through, isn't a monster imo. I know she traumatized her kids but honestly, most parents do that and have no remorse about it. Donna has remorse for her actions and the effect it had on her kids. And what is Carmy doing to Sydney's self-esteem and confidence right now? He's definitely not helping it! l If I can forgive Carmy because he's acting on his trauma and I understand he's not just a horrible person by choice, I can do the same for Donna. I know some ppl just don't like JLC because she's pro-zionist (idek I just saw this online somewhere?) which I understand but at the same time, the actress is seperate to the character. Donna's favourite person in the world is gonna be her beautiful black daughter in law! She's gonna love and appreciate Syd so much.

I want Donna's story to end with her starting to heal so people watching this show know that even late in life when you've made all the worst mistakes and inflicted your pain on others you can still heal and try to right those wrongs. It's never too late to start being a better person. This wasn't meant to turn into a rant about Donna but I think the way some fans talk about her character is so unfair and narrow minded because they don't keep the same energy for Carmy.

Some of my theories for S3

I know no one wants to hear this but I think 3x09 Apologies will be an apology to Claire where Carmy finally comes clean about why he gave her a fake number and why he can't be with her, putting an end to romantic Claire/Carmy for good. If we see the end of Claire in the first few episodes I'll be happy but I doubt they'll waste the "suspense" of Claire/Carmy vs SydCarmy by ending it 3 or even 4, 5 episodes in. I don't think she'll be in all 9 episodes leading up to it tho (please no, I love Molly but that's way too much of Claire.)

JAW said during awards season "Claire deserves an apology" which seemed random to me at the time because no one asked him that, he just brought it up and we all know Syd is the one who deserves the biggest apology from Carmy. Idk if they were filming S3 yet when he said that but he already knows where the story is going. Actors don't just play character's "blind" without knowing something about where their story is leading, especially main characters.

I think they'll do the Syd/Claire switcheroo and make it seem like Carmy's going to apologize to Syd (because it will be glaringly obvious he needs to) but it'll be him telling Claire the truth and ending things with her. Idk if Syd will get an actual apology (it would mirror 1x08 where Marcus got the actual apology and Syd didn't even though she probably deserved it more) but I think we will get some kind of super intimate heartwarming/heartbreaking scene from sydcarmy in that episode, just like 2x09.

Also Ayo said something like sydcarmy fans won't get what they want in S3 and it's the one time I actually believe her.

I think we're going to get some amazing sydcarmy scenes in S3 but I don't think it's going to end well for them. I think S4 will mirror S1 and build their dynamic up again back to what it was before Claire came in 2x03. I think S4 is gonna be THE sydcarmy season.

I'm in two minds about whether Syd will sign the contract or not. I'm leaning towards no because despite it meaning Carmy can't just leave again, going off to do whatever he wants with "wHoEvEr" and she'll have his full focus, I just don't think she wants a legal contract to be the basis of why they're committed to working together. Syd's never tried to tie Carmy to her so I don't think she'll appreciate him doing it to her. Carmy's doing this out of desperation, not out of purely wanting to collaborate with her and Syd will sense that. I think Syd wants him to want to work with her. That's why she never actively tried to get him to stay and work with her in S2 and she could've been way more direct and harsh than "I need your focus like you need mine", Lord knows he would deserve it but she isn't trying to force him. That's why she never made him feel bad about being with Claire either even though he ditched her for Claire right when they were getting closer. She doesn't want to guilt trip him or make him feel like he owes her something, she wants it to be his own decision. She wants him to show that he wants it just like she does. And he does...but he just doesn't know how to show it in a healthy way and toxicity raised him so I can't blame him.

Idk what's gonna happen between Syd & Marcus or Syd & Luca but I don't think it actually needs to be romantic to make Carmy jealous, especially if he and Syd aren't seeing eye to eye. I don't think it's necessarily gonna be romantic for Syd either, even if they see her that way. Just like Carmy didn't really see Claire romantically (in present day anyway) and I will die on that hill. That man had zero romantic interest in her despite literally kissing and having sex with her. It was more like he was just going through the motions of a "normal" relationship than it being something he genuinely wanted. Why does he show SO MUCH want and desire for Syd but not a single iota of the same for Claire?!

Seeing Syd get close to any other man is going to bother Carmy regardless, especially if he knows the man is attracted to her. But I feel like Syd is a 'connection before anything else' kinda girl (Carmy is too, that's why having sex with Claire literally sent him into a spiralling panic attack the morning after) but Syd doesn't have the exact same issues and trauma that Carmy has so I can't see Syd being with or sleeping with someone she doesn't feel connected to like that. I could be wrong but I can't see her changing her mind about Marcus and suddenly dating him at this point. She seems like someone who knows what she wants and won't settle for less just because it's available. (Not that Marcus is "less" than anyone, my sweet little cherub.) I could see her feeling a connection to Luca though, he's basically a calm version of Carmy that pays attention.

Ayo basically saying in an interview that Will Poulter pays attention to her instead of his phone was such a random piece of info imo. I get it made context in the story she was telling but it just seems like such a deliberate pointed thing to bring up knowing right now in the show Syd doesn't feel appreciated or listened to by Carmy. She could've answered the question without mentioning Will at all tbh, and even if she did mention him she didn't need to mention all of that, give us a whole backstory and everything, idk. This might be a reach but I'm pretty sure they give out of context clues like this in interviews, they definitely do it in the show so I wouldn't be surprised.

I think it was a clue about the dynamic between Syd and Luca in S3 and the difference between Carmy and Luca is Carmy's unfocused and makes Syd feel like he doesn't listen to her but Luca makes her feel like he pays attention to her. I still don't think this needs to be in a romantic sense but I'm happy for Syd to get some TLC from a hot blond guy with tattoos before Carmy sees sense.

Idk we'll see how that story plays out in S3 but if the fact Luca pays attention to her is a plot point (even a subtextual one) I'm taking that story from Ayo as an out of context spoiler.

I love Marcus and I adore Lionel BUT I just can't see Marcus and Syd being together. Their vibe is so brother/sister to me that it would just be weird at this point in the show imo. The same way sydcarmy ending the show only ever being "platonic co-workers" would give me weird inappropriate vibes about their dynamic throughout the show. The romantic dynamic between sydcarmy and the platonic dynamic between Syd x Marcus are kinda set in stone imo, especially after S2. It'll be very difficult from a literary standpoint to drastically change those dynamics in a believable way and keep the quality of storytelling and integrity of the show intact at this point. It's not impossible, I just don't think it's likely at all.

I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to Marcus's storyline in S3. My mum died when I was young so seeing kids (even if they're adults) attending their mum's funeral on shows/movies always makes me emotional, especially when it's a character I care about. (If we get a flashback of Syd at her mum's funeral I might actually die of sadness bc I'm not ready for that! I've had enough time to accept I'm gonna see Marcus's mum's funeral but if they spring Syd's mum's funeral on me too it might actually break me idk.) I am looking forward to seeing him be supported through it though and other than his mother's funeral storyline I'm excited to see where his story goes in S3. I feel like Carmy's gonna be an asshole to him if he starts getting closer to Syd and while I love the angst and jealousy of SydCarmy he better not hurt Marcus's feelings or be too hard on him. I can't wait for some Marcus x Luca scenes too.

I nearly forgot the loml, Tina! I'm so excited to see her story in S3, idek what to expect other than her backstory episode that Ayo's directing 🙌🏽 but I'm sure I will love it. Liza does so well in this role at making me feel things (all of the cast do tbh but Liza as Tina just plucks my heartstrings on a different level.)

If you read this far, thank you I appreciate you 💛

[sugar-omi]

Hi Naeomi!

I have a Baxter ask, but it might be a bit angst? It's all good if you are not comfortable doing it 🤗🤗

I was wondering how Baxter would react to an MC who is kind, goofy, and easygoing with her friends but not to everyone. When Baxter goes to say, "You dont have to go out with me just to be polite--" MC scoffs, "Please, I would never date a boy I didn't like just to be polite." Seeing Baxter's surprised expression, my nervous MC laughs and goes on. "But I like you, so..." Or Baxter would tell her she's too kind or nice after giving him a compliment or treating well on a date, and she would chuckle, "No, no I'm not."

MC had a hard time in school during puberty (as in mean gossip, boys brazenly checking her out and making comments, and small instances of bullying for being 'different'). That is the MC's history, and she has learned from Liz how to stand up for herself and not let anyone disrespect her--she has instilled a mean girl essence in herself with the most cutthroat comeback that has Cove recoil at her side (she has him cover his ears for this reason).

MC finishes high school with a jaded view of boys (except for Cove and Derek, her standards are high because of how kind and sweet these two are) and developed a bit of a sharp tongue when angry, something she is not proud of. And when MC meets Baxter, her crush from 5 years old, she is nervous and blushy and treats him with the utmost consideration. She worries that Baxter would see her spitting vemon one day and not like her anymore.

crying...... your mc reminds me of myself as well bc I'm also jaded n mean sometimes 😬 I will see your mc's in therapy LOL

anyway here you go anon<333 also I had fem reader in mind but I realize it's not very implied either so I hope that's OK

n i will edit the format a bit later bc I'm on my phone again 👍👍 ALSO NEW HEADER WHAT DO WE THINK it's suppose to be coves tattoo but I shrieked it bc I didn't like how bulky it was but now I feel like u can't tell it's the ocean so.... I try I try

tags: hurt/comfort, ok for fem/masc/nb readers, shy/nervous reader, mentions of bullying/harassment, headcanons at the bottom ft step 4, perhaps I'm using this to tell everyone that I think baxter finds assertiveness/"mean"!mc attractive but we won't talk abt that <3333

the first time baxter hears about the issues you had in the past, it was when your cousin laughed about how you look like a cinnamon roll but you slapped a guy hard enough his nose bled.

baxter took note of how your face scrunched up, and you looked at him to scout out how baxter reacted to the comment.

you mutter something quickly, "he deserved it. anyway..."

the mood was a little damp for a moment after that, the joke not well received because of the new addition and baxter felt bad that you had worries about how he'd take what Lee said.

after your group parted ways, and before you could retreat to your bedroom, baxter stopped you.

"forgive me if my words are unwanted, but... if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here." his voice was soothing, but his pitiful gaze was off putting...

you did appreciate the gesture, baxter is always so considerate but you didn't want him to feel bad for you. you didn't want him to know how vulnerable you were.

when you were still in school, all the bullying had you feeling like a stray ally cat in front of a pack of dogs.

you didn't want baxter to know about the rougher side of you...

after that, baxter starts to notice your mannerisms even more.

you just nod and thank him, hugging him goodnight.

one morning, you brought him a breakfast sandwich and coffee.

"you spoil me y/n. who knew sunset bird was hiding such lovely people."

you just laugh humorlessly, no shyness or humility in it just a pained expression. "I try, glad to know I'm doing good..."

baxter smiles, trying to bring back your good mood. "you are. that must be why cove gravitates to you so much."

you laugh a bit, thinking about your clingy neighbor. "maybe, but he's the sweetest between the two of us. cove always takes care of me, more than I do him in fact.."

when he's in your living room and you're fluttering around the house with haste and fretting over every detail...

baxter doubts that, thinking about how the stories of your childhood he heard from your family and cove when you graciously invited him on the boat trip.

"no need to be humble. now, shall we eat together?"

when he first showed up, you were in a tank top and leggings, but after seating baxter and leaving him with a bottle of water you ran upstairs to get ready and came back in shorts and flowy top in your favorite color.

not that baxter minded, you were beautiful. but you were comfortable before, and it was the middle of the day, so why the sudden change of clothes?

then it was how jittery you were while making some tea, hovering over the pot and fixing baxter's cup diligently.

"y/n..." baxter decides to approach this lightly.

"yes?" you smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. you look so worried, like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"can we talk about what's going on? I don't mean to intrude, I know I'm only here for the summer.."

the reminder stings you but you listen on.

"but you're still someone dear to me, so if it's something you don't mind sharing, I'd like to know what'd bothering you. I want to help, y/n..." baxter places his hand on top of yours.

you swallow but inhale and prepare to tell him enough to paint the picture, at least.

"i.. don't want you to hate me." you hang your head. "i like you so much, baxter. I'm worried that my jaded view will make you run away..."

baxter nods, choosing his next words carefully.

he brings you into his side, holding your hand and the pressure is grounding.

"nothing like that can make me dislike you y/n. of anything, I like you even more." baxter grins at your surprised expression.

"there's nothing wrong with you for being assertive when defending yourself." baxter smiles soothingly and he decides to bring up a moment of weakness he had early in the summer.

"remember when I was a half asleep mess when we went to get drinks that day?"

you nod.

"its like that, I'm not always so prim and proper." baxter laughs, ignoring the flush of his face as he recounts the blunder. "just like I'm a mess in the mornings, you can be a bit snappy but it's all about the situation."

you grin and let out a watery laugh. "are you seriously comparing your inability to be a functioning human in the morning to me being mean when someone pisses me off?"

he grins shamelessly. although with the blush on his face, perhaps bacter feels a bit more humble than usual. "perhaps."

you laugh loudly, "you are!"

baxter grins. "it worked didn't it?"

you nod, wrapping your arms around him, allowing yourself to melt into his body as he hugs you back. "yeah.. yeah it did. thanks baxter..."

baxter loves when you stand up for yourself

seeing you snap at some douchebag hitting on you at the bar even though you said you have a boyfriend and he's right here?!

finds it hot when you're angry

always reassures you that you don't need to bring him breakfast in bed every day for the rest of his life just bc he saw you snap at some nosy Karen after she made a nasty comment about your outfit

it's a beach, what does she expect people to wear???

don't verbally or physically beat someone in front of him bc he Will kiss you

"fuck off! I'm not interested asshole!!"

baxter, heart eyes: "please kiss me, do u wanna get married?????"

[evansbby]

JUST READ WG 2 AND GIRLL I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. First off, good on my girl for not texting Ari back and having an actual spine🤬🤬 (even if she did her manipulated like 5 seconds later but I'm just happy she stood for herself.) And then the whole thing with Curtis, I thought it was kinda cute but then I got turned off cause he left so easily. Like is Ari your daddy or what? The smut was sooo filthy in this chapter. He's such an asshole but I loved how possessive he was of her. I wanted to punch his handsome face and kiss it at the same time. He's literally such a bitch. Leaving her like that after he fucked her in front of everyone. I mean he did clean her up this time and they had a cute little moment and he was clearly a teeny bit hesitant to leave her for Sharon for a moment. BUT HE STILL DID. ASSHOLE. I absolutely hate him for that🙄🙄

BUTTT when Steve arrived omg. I love how he babies her sm and ugh, I'm just imagining tall, blonde, handsome Steve saving her from Ari. Ari getting so jealous over seeing her a guy who can finally compete w him was so satisfying. Like we have options too. And I ❤️ how clearly Steve paid some dude to act like an Uber and drive back to her place and made her sit on his lap and made her shut up abt Ari. Now maybe I'm biased but ughhh I want him for her so bad, like he treats her so well from the get go and isn't an ass like Ari. When he said "if u were my girl u wouldn't be able to step a foot in this party let alone be left alone unattended" I literally folded. And when he gave her his jacket and told her to hand it up where everyone else can see?????? I hope Ari sees that shit and loses it.

in all honesty, I'm still rooting for my daddy Ari 😭 but idk he's such a bitch but I feel like HE CAN CHANGE. Maybe if he really tries. I need him to!! I want him to realize that he wants her and beg for her forgiveness but at the same time, I want to see him suffer cause tbh he doesn't deserve her.

Thank u for the delicious fic again girlie, this literally made my morning

--🚿🚿

Omg shower anon!!! Thank you for reading!!! And sending this feedback!!🩷🩷🩷🙏🏼🙏🏼

Firstly yes, reader had a spine and didn’t text Ari back and I love that for her despite the fact that she proceeded to fall into his trap at the party anyways😂😭

And bahahaha you’re so right like WHY did Curtis back off so easily SKSJSKAK but it’s bc Ari is the leader of the group and they all respect him and so Curtis wouldn’t really go after Ari’s girl (he was pushing it tho, I think he enjoyed playing with her)

Now the Ari public party smut was meant to be filthy and nobody has commented on the things he was saying 😭😭 like bro really lost it with the “you wish sharon was watching us don’t you” 💀💀💀💀 BUT READER LIKED IT aksjskskak

And okay so the Steve part! So the guy actually WAS an Uber driver, Steve just paid him not to say anything while he made reader ride him in the backseat 😂 like a little extra tip for the driver to be silent and mind his business ajsjsjaja these guys are DARK yall 😭😭

Now bestie I wouldn’t say Steve “treats her well” seeing as he’s got subtle dark, dangerous moments throughout AND he also manipulates her and takes advantage of her… almost like he’s got an ulterior motive 🤔 bUT YES HE IS AS OF RIGHT NOW LESS OF AN ASS THAN ARI SO I GET YOUUU

but shower anon ily for still rooting for Ari!!! Only bc it’s nice to have some variety and seems like most others are rooting for Steve!! Which is good, I needed people to root for him too, that’s why I wrote him to be so dark dangerous and hot 🤭🤭

[dmclemblems]

Since Hopes couldn't be assed to give Khalid a last name (referring to Claude like that because of, well, the lack-of-a-last-name issue I have lol), or give his father a name at all, do you have any headcanons as to what Khalid's full name/his father's name is?

I wouldn't say I have anything concrete, but I can list off some names I've considered with their basic name meaning (obviously the name meaning can vary a bit depending on the source so I tried to use more than one for some). :o

For Claude:

Rahal (person who embarks on a journey)

Hussain (handsome/beautiful)

Irfan (knowledgeable person, constant learner and/or awareness)

Rashid (truth, person who points others to the truth or in the right direction)

Rahim (forgiving/merciful)

Harith (bc it means lion and I'm gonna ship at unstoppable levels)

For Claude's dad:

Malik (king)

Qadir (almighty, powerful)

Nasser (victory)

Jalal (is similar to Qadir. can mean mighty, glory, power, superiority )

I actually had the idea of Rahim because of Claude's conversations with Rhea near the end of VW. I felt like he was very forgiving, understanding and sympathetic to her, but also merciful in that he used to think she wasn't fit to lead and once considered what the world would look like if she had died. When he heard her story, I think he would have understood her fears and realized they weren't that different - that she hid her identity and lied just to stay alive. She and her kin were seen as monsters for not being human, and I think he would understand that. The mercy from him would be hearing her story without judgement and not treating her as a monster despite knowing the truth. I think at that moment she expected to be judged and looked at with disgust, but he would understand what she went through. In a way, he is the mercy by being the person she had to tell her story to, because most other people might not have understood or looked at her as just another person after that.

Really, I think Rashid is my favorite because it aligns so perfectly with his character and goals. He's a truth seeker and wants to show that truth to others, leading them in the right direction and trying to help others from being left out. He wants everyone to be together like it's nothing special, in his own words, and the only way to do that is to show everyone the truth - that Fodlan's people are not cowards and that Almyra's people are not just horrible brutes. He aims to lead them down the right path and to stop the pointless hatred and warring.

For his father, I picked out Malik because it's a simple one with a very obvious meaning and I'm slightly bias because it reminds me of Tales of Graces because it has a Malik.

I've always considered that his name would mean something strong sounding considering what we know about him and what we know about Claude and Shahid. I think of all of them, Qadir is probably my favorite for him. I think in a way "almighty" would fit him because he's not just the king of Almyra, but he used to be able to get into Fodlan multiple times and get back out alive. To be able to go get into enemy lands as a kid, because like, you know how little kids can be, thinking it's so cool to do something the adults won't even do, I think would eventually seen by others as something to respect since he didn't just go to Fodlan and get killed. He repeatedly got back home and for a kid, that's pretty impressive.

Since I've never had reason to actually use these names like in fics or anything, I haven't really settled on anything for certain. Maybe someday I'll use them though!

[ithinkabouttzu]

Hi! I'm in love with your BoB ships❤can I ask one too?

She/her, 6'0. Long, wavy strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, slender body type. I'd say i'm playing the role of a "tough b*tch" with strict sense of duty and like to pretend that I can quickly overcome my feelings. But that's just a parade, deep down i'm a lonely, melancholic, lost little girl. I like to help people, care for them, but I don't open up easily. I have only a few friends. Sometimes i'm a little bit sarcastic and I loooove a challenge.

I like working out, hiking, exploring new places, or just chill on my own with Lana Del Rey music in the background.

Wow this sounds so bad but this is how I am. Anyways, thank you so much if you consider writing! ❤ and now i'm binge reading your blog (forgive me for my English, it isn't my first language).

Hi of course thank you for requesting lovely 💗!!

I ship you with…

Dick Winters!

- Okay you guys just go together, like reading your description, Dick immediately popped into my head. Like you guys just make sense, y’all give the same exact vibe and it would be a crime NOT to ship you with him

- Okay his first impression of you was, “Wow” just wow because you literally took all of the breath out of his lungs.

- But in all seriousness, you are beautiful to him, he absolutely admires your pretty long hair and soft eyes. My man’s is fully enamored with you and has no problem with that whatsoever

- When you guys first become friends, he tries his absolute hardest to be professional around you, he doesn’t want to make it uncomfortable relationship for you for making any moves, but at the same time he feels like if he doesn’t, he might not ever get the chance to again.

- So he takes you out on a walk during the prettiest sunset ever, and with a leap of faith and just confesses flat out to you that he does like you, he thinks you’re just a wonderful girl and that he would love to take you out sometime

- After completely falling for your looks, he falls even harder in love when he gets to know your personality, he loves how kind you are and how you just take control of a situation when it gets out of hand, literally just every little aspect of you he loves so much

- Usually when you’re with Dick, your tough and strong persona kinda just wears off, it’s not that you can’t handle certain things, but it’s nice to let someone else take the reins every once in a while

- Also it’s more of a trust thing too, when you’re with him you can be calm and peaceful, you don’t have to worry about anything really, he makes it comfortable for you to just be you around him and that is the sweetest thing literally ever

- TRUST ME when I tell you dating him would be so nice, like he would treat you like an absolute princess, we would spoil you with whatever you wanted, not with just materialistic things, but also mentally to, you guys know how to fill each other’s cup emotionally

- And with that being said, you can also take care of Dick so well, sometimes being a leader is STRESSFUL but you always try your best to care for him and show him that he can just be him around you

- For you to!! He can just sense when you’re sad or something’s up, but instead of asking you about it (unless you wanna talk about it then he’s totally down for talking) I think he’ll probably just try to comfort you with his actions

- okay I could see you guys just walking on a trail, like hiking, and you just have your earbuds in literally swaying to some lana music (same tbh) and he’s just over there like 🤨 “why are you dancing like that” and then you give him one of your earbuds and he completely understands (bc lana’s music is swaying music fr)

- But hiking or just exploring out nature with each other is so fun! You guys can always just be peaceful when you’re out there with no one to bother one another except for you two.

- ALSO, let me tell you how fun dates would be with you two, like Dick is such a romantic (or maybe I just get those vibes idk) and he would make the most special and unique little date nights planned, he would always leave you speechless with how thoughtful he is when it comes to date nights 🥹

- okay okay btw, i forgot to mention how much this man LOVES your hair, he thinks it’s so soft and pretty and he adores playing with it, like if he just rubs his fingers through your hair it’s almost certain that he’s gonna fall asleep

- usually you like chilling on your own (which is so relatable tbh) but when you start dating Dick, chilling with him is just so much better, you both can just relax with each other and do what both of you guys need to get done in peace (with some lana on in the back ofc)

- GIRL- the first time he sees you working out he is just in awe, he didn’t mean to disturb you or anything, he didn’t even notice you were working out til he heard your panting from the other room. he doesn’t mean to be turned on by it but he just can’t help it, he’s just sitting there like 😵‍💫

- He’ll try to just let you be and workout in peace, but you can’t help but get butterflies when you see him leaned up against the side of the door, looking at you like a whole SNACK

- When you’re sarcastic it’s either he loves the deadpan humor and he enjoys it, or he’s on the other side of that sarcasm and is silently praying for you to die down from it 😭 but he honestly enjoys your sarcastic humor unless you guys are in an argument

- But this man loves you actually like so much, almost too much, and just know that you guys will have each-others back regardless, you and him can always lean on one another and you guys make hanging out so soft and comfy for one another 🤗🥹 (YALL ARE SO CUTE OMG)

Thank you for requesting lovely!! I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading my blog!! :) 💖💖

[cquackity]

sorry for bringing it up again when its over and feel free to answer privately/ignore me, i just wanted to explain why i find the eret stuff upsetting. i think its fair to think c!eret didnt need an apology from wilbur; thats just not the entire picture of what eret fans see when people go after her for that stream so we might be a little defensive.

i think to me the issue is that c & cc!eret crit cant be separated-- after the apology stream i literally couldnt be on here because people were being so awful about eret and consistently c!eret neg is tied in with people being assholes to the cc. also to me it reads as disrespectful to place all the blame for disliking that stream on eret when wilbur was on that stream, participated, and co-wrote that lore. i have never once had to avoid the dash due to cc!wilbur neg the way i have for eret, and thats pretty telling. not that ccwilbur deserves that, just that its interesting how bad eret gets it in comparison. even the post-utah stream didnt make me as upset as the way people talked about eret did and i am by far more of a wilburian than anything else.

to me, the apology was more for cc!eret for how poorly shes been treated for the last two years and because the fandom treats wilbur (c and cc) like the ultimate moral & narrative arbiter (despite the fact that a key element of his character is being an unreliable narrator); only his apology would make people actually think about how badly eret has been treated. and then it all backfired and everyone was so heinous about it that it was genuinely painful to be on here as a wilbur and eret enjoyer.

besides that meta element i genuinely liked that stream and felt like cwilbur did need a knock in the right direction, as i felt much of the apology tour was an empty gesture that externalized his need for self-forgiveness. not that he deserved to feel guilty or that his apologies were hollow, just that he wasnt going about his efforts to forgive himself in a healthy way, and hearing from someone who already got through it was super helpful.

im sorry folks sent you awful asks (and im also sorry for vagueing, i just couldnt figure out how to lay out my own feelings) but to me it feels really hurtful to see people shit on eret, c or cc, bc shes worked so hard and was the key to a really core moment on the server and gets very little recognition for it from other ccs (constantly being shut out of lore) and from the fandom.

sorry if this is a jumbled mess feel free to ignore it i just wanted to explain a little bit

hello bell! thank you for explaining i genuinely do appreciate your point of view! there is a reason i didn't unfollow you for vauging me lul, i find you to be a reasonable person who has reasonable standpoints on things. but like this goes for everybody who sees this: if you have an issue with me, just send me an ask like this! or a dm. or whatever. i'd also like to think i'm a pretty reasonable guy. i'm also pretty sure i tagged that post with the proper tags to be filtered too? at least i hope i did 💀

first off i'd again like to reiterate that i have literally nothing against cc!eret. i never mentioned cc!eret in my post, i have never posted cc!eret neg before, and the only point i made was that i don't believe c!eret deserved an apology from c!wilbur. i had more good things to say about c!eret in that post than negative. what other people are saying, that's not what i'm saying. i think it's unfair to group me in with people who have/are posting cc!eret neg. at the end of the day even if that's what you've seen that's not what i was talking about in the slightest. regardless of what content creator made the decision to have c!wilbur apologize i think it's a bad one. i stand by that.

nor do i think that it's entirely fair to treat that stream as some sort of meta on the cc!s lives instead of the characters. i've just never thought about that stream like that before, and it doesn't really make sense to me to do so. if either cc!wilbur or cc!eret have alluded to the apology being more for cc!eret i would be open to seeing a clip like that

i also disagree with c!wilbur needing to be "knocked in the right direction" mostly because i think there's several other more compelling turning points for his character post-revival, but i do respect c!eret fans wanting to enjoy a moment between the two of them.

tldr; i wasn't talking about cc!eret at all, and it's unfair to take my words that way when it was never the intention, and not separate them from their original meaning. please separate my discussion of the c!s and the cc!s

[telestoapologist]

ok strap in i'm gonna go ham a little about these topics. under the cut bc this. uh. got longer than i wanted it to sldfghf

woooo okay yeah, this season has felt. a little bit weird regarding amanda at certain points (the being anti-darkness to the point of not trusting anyone who uses it thing being very specific, but I also don't know of any lore or past seasonal/DLC dialogue that covers how she's previously felt us tampering in it. have we just, never mentioned it to her that we've been using it for a few years now? do we still continue to not open up to her regarding the usage of strand? has Zavala never confided or spoken to her that we've been using it despite their closeness? or just, you know, in general?) like ok, i DO get apprehension because we've encountered enemies in the past who WIELDED the darkness, so it's like, she might not KNOW about it as much as we do, because she's never gotten that chance to cross the threshold like guardians have. she's only seen and experienced what it does in the wrong hands.

so uh, regarding her and crow. I'm actually not overly angry with her about how she's been treating him (especially since she's mentioned she HAS tried disassociating him with his former self, but it's hard). I think it's a rational way of acting considering how stubborn she is, as well as like, how CLOSE she was to cayde, and how forgiving the guy who killed someone who was like family to you is NOT going to be easy, even if he's someone else now. I think if she hadn't flat-out died, over time, she would've come to forgive crow, but not easily or quickly. her establishing that boundary between them and crow going out of his way to respect it after the transparency was incredibly important and good bc he was. uh. kind of forcing himself on her. not out of malice or anything, but because crow is. a needy and emotional guy for understandable reasons, plus that's just, you know, how he is. i get it, people have had to have that conversation with me in the past before and i don't consider them as jerks or horrible people for it, bc they're not, y'know?

crow taking several steps back and hopping into the seat of vengeance again is, honestly, understandable given how he is just full of love and is a passionate guy. sometimes we will repeat mistakes and relapse when facing a crisis or awful situation (i.e Zavala relapsing even though he had a good dose of therapy and reality in Haunted. it's sad, but these things happen a LOT). it's not US that's looking for vengeance, yeah, it's him, and he wants us to help because we're practically his closest friend, but we never openly said "yeah man sure, let's fucking go" like we openly did in forsaken. we KNOW at this point that vengeance is. NOT a good idea in this context, it's why we didn't really avenge rohan in the exact same sense as we did with cayde (that, and, well, we were barely close to rohan). this is where i'm gonna bring in my own personal beef with our guardian hardly ever fucking talking though, because like. it would HELP if we would also be transparent and communicate with other characters instead of only letting our ghost speak or just saying a few things every once and awhile.

personally? I don't know how I feel about amanda panda being res'd. is it possible given her sacrifice? well, yes, and I think it'd be a damn good heart punch considering she's always wanted her family to come back, but instead, it's her? but narratively speaking, idk! if she is, she is, and while she won't be alone, it might be a HUGE hump to get over, and I have no clue how they'd handle it. although if they only make it about her and crow again, i'm gonna be pissed.

Ok I think I've had enough time to like process everything properly.

Amanda dying sucks. For a variety of reasons. It genuinely sad that she won't be around anymore. We lost her, we lost a friend. There's a hole now.

But narratively her death sucks bc of how she was written this season. This entire season I've been annoyed by Amanda. Annoyed by how she was treating crow, annoyed by the fact she's apparently been living under a rock when it comes to the darkness, annoyed by how she's just been acting recently. Season of Defiance lore and story genuinely feels like we've taken a step backwards from where we were. On top of all that, we knew it was coming, we knew she was gonna die, so we had some time to prepare. Even then, her death doesn't really feel impactful? It really feels like it's just something that happened rather then a real hit.

I also just can't get myself to feel angry about it?? Like Crow is rearing up for vengeance Forsaken 2 electric boogaloo style. But it's war??? People die??? What's there to get revenge on??? We didn't "get revenge" for Rohan, we understood it was 1) war and 2) his choice. It's the same situation here. Her death is sad, it sucks. But she chose to sacrifice herself, its war.

[kimnjss]

WOOO GIRL so much to unpack !! let me just start by saying that i fuck w this tae & yn heavy like … they’re giving endgame, they’re giving soulmates . idk if it’s the nostalgia from the little childhood moments growing up together (like the tree scene was SO CUTEEE) but i just feel like that level of comfort and familiarity they developed w each other over so many years means a lot, esp bc friendships sometimes fall apart and don’t last that long . AND I WAS RIGHT abt jikook being the mirror couple i KNEW it !! lmaoo but no that jikook bomb u dropped … im shaking in my boots like WHAT !!! it actually makes sense but ,,, im still crying bc i love them :”) AND LET ME GET INTO THIS NEW JOON LOVE INTEREST OKAY !! i already know she’s another hottie and i love to see it 🙌🏼 let’s just hope he doesn’t fumble the bag 😷

no but ACTUALLY,,, i think one of the reasons i feel so much for this couple is rlly like … when i read abt yn and the 17 yr old, she reminds me so much of myself and i literally identify w her, but i also understand tae too and he just feels rlly familiar . how valuable it is to have a friend like tae when ur like yn and vice versa … im just rooting for them ur honor :”)

the fact that they have so many pleasant memories together as kids definitely has a lot to do w how easy it was for them to get right back into the swing of things . right now ., they're not really thinking so much abt what's going to happen for them in the future - nd really just riding the high of being together again after all of this time . so it should be very interesting when they're having to deal with the big questions that taehyung seems to be pushing until the end of the summer . BUUT !! in the meantime we get to see all their cute moments that they shared before things were falling apart between them . nd there are so many of them !!

OOOH ! also you were sooo right abt jikook ., when i read that i was like 😳 . but yn is definitely a lot like jimin as we know - but jungkook and tae are very similar too . more in terms of how they treat the people that they love ., nd how they show their love too . jimin was so quick to forgive jungkook when it came down to it ., but bc jungkook knows that - he's still working to earn his forgiveness ., bc he feels like he (jimin) hasn't fully thought it over yet . same idea with taehyung nd yn .

ND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GIRL JIMIN BROUGHT ALONG LMAOOO . that was way too calculated for that to be a coincidence . the man knew exactly what he's doing !! but joon left pretty quickly ., so he couldn't have had any complaints . hopefully it'll be enough to keep his mind off of yn ., bc she's REAL focused on tae right now .

young yn was jus the sweetest :(( she's a lot like how she is now ., but just a tad bit more naive - but at the same time extremely confident??? so great that she had taehyung to steer her correctly tho bc she definitely need him for the nudge in the right direction . i'm so glad that you can relate to her tho !! i had a lot of fun creating her character !!

[bansheeoftheforest]

Look!! Another dead bird for you!!

---

Okay, have you seen Wolf Children? Because that's my thought process here. One of Jekyll's parents was a cat-shifter and Jekyll inherited that ability. When he gets emotional he can start transforming, so at times he might have to hastily smooth his hair back in an attempt to hide a sudden cat ear or something. Nobody knows what he is because his human parent was kinda sorta ashamed about him, so he's hidden it all his life.

Just.. Cat Jekyll napping in Maijabi's lap. He feels so guilty because no one knows it's him but Maijabi pets so gently and coos at him in a language he isn't quite fluent in and he feels so safe. Cat Jekyll going to injured Lodgers to purr and nuzzle them. Cat Jekyll pointedly knocking things off of tables that could very well end in Lodger stupidity if left intact. Cat Jekyll climbing Adam/Creature and he is so enamoured with this little animal that doesn't fear him in the slightest.

Okay but also Jekyll slipping up in human form. He slow blinks at Jasper and Maijabi and Zosi and everyone else he likes. He starts to purr whenever he's happy and scrambles to cover it with a cough. He plays with string and gets tangled in it. He hears someone mention that Jekyll Jr. looks a bit funny with his curled ears and bob tail and just grumbles 'that's a standard appearance for Highlander cats, you arseholes-'

Does he bring people dead animals? Does Hyde? Hyde definitely would, just 'oh there's Rachel! I'm gonna put a dead mouse in her pocket :3' and she gets a feelimg of deja vu because it feels like Hyde's pranks but cats don't prank do they?? Cat Hyde showing off his new injuries proudly to the others then trying to run away when they try to patch him up because NO, he wants them to SCAR so he can look TOUGH.

If you go the Jekffin route, maybe Griffin's cat is normally skittish of others but just.. adores Jekyll. They're always rushing to greet him and rub on his legs and Jekyll just understands their body language and needs so well and is so patient with them and ah FUCK, he's crushing on Jekyll, god this is the worst-

Y'all at this point I get so many dead critters from you guys I could make a tiny graveyard sdfsdf

I have not seen wolf children but in all fair honesty, it looks like something my weeb-friend-trying-to-force-me-to-watch-anime would force me to watch <3 ANYWAYS. Still love that idea. Ooohohoho I don't know what's better, his father being the catshifter and his mother being deeply ashamed of the relationship combined with the premarital stuff bc of societal rules (hence why she was immediately scolding Henry for that dead bird) or his mother being the catshifter in a classic fairytale-esque way but being ashamed of it herself or knowing the father is ashamed about it, trying to hide all cat-ness with both her and Henry... Mmm, angst and parental trauma my beloved <3

...My brain immediately started thinking Henry's father getting seduced by a catshifter, accidentally fathering Henry, only for the catshifter to leave bby Henry on his doorstep and then just... Fuck off into the woods again. Does not make sense bc Henry has a mo- NO WAIT. OOHOH I GOT A BRANCH IDEA. His father already being married when Henry was born or his father marrying when he already had Henry, but telling Henry that his wife is his mom and that Henry was cursed from birth and that's why he can transform into a cat? Idk if Highlanders can be black but especially if he is a black cat??? ohoohohhoho ...Maybe that's why Morcant took such a liking to him immediately when they met, because he was supernatural? oohohoOHOO

I also just want to imagine that, despite his catness, his parents still loved him, even if they were a bit ashamed of who he was. Bby Jekyll having nightmares and it made him so upset he is stuck in cat form for a bit, creeping down the stairs to find his parents in the living room in front of the fireplace, him slowly creeping up on them and his parents immediately cuddling and doting on him when they see him... <3 (also this is just a bit of a branch, any other idea /idea for how Henry's relationship w his parents are welcome! <3)

--

I'm half if Maijabi should know about Jekyll being the cat bc of his spirit eye or not, bc that is used so much in my aus that it's kinda becoming cliche so I'm going to use the route that he doesn't. Just finding this lil cat with funny ears and a bobtail and immediately taking a liking to it. Debating adopting him because he knows that Jekyll would not have had the heart to kick Jr out if he has already adopted him. Scratching him under his chin and being the only one allowed to rub his belly. Henry getting so used to Maijabi's cuddles that the moment he is near him (in cat form) he stands on his hind legs and reaches his front legs up like a child wanting to get picked up and Maijabi always chuckles and picks him up, resting him against his shoulder. Henry sometimes getting a bit possessive bc Maijabi is his favorite lodger and tries to groom his beard and hair because it's always so wild. Maijabi just getting used to carrying a basket around or an extra shirt where JR can hang in bc he is so clingy and always wants attention. The Lodgers joking that Jekyll JR can sense sadness like a shark can smell blood and immediately rushes towards them to cuddle the everloving fuck out of them. The Lodgers cooing over him and telling him that he is so smart when he accidentally saves them from disaster, making sure to give him extra treats. Henry prowling the Society where he suddenly meets Adam. Adam stops dead in his tracks, having never seen this tiny cat before and being thoroughly confused as to why he isn't running away from him. Henry immediately walking up to him and rubbing his face against his leg, Adam hesitantly crouching down and reaching out his hand and Henry continues to happily sniff them and rub his face against them in that "I'm going to rub my teeth against your hand so you are mine now and you can't do anything about it" kinda way, Adam being close to tears bc this is the first time a living thing hasn't immediately run in fear away from him, Henry immediately using him as a stepping stool and climbing his arm until he can lounge over his broad shoulders, which quickly becomes his favorite nap spot.

(Adam secretly being very very amused when this tiny lil cat loves him immediately but hisses at Frankenstein)

--

Catboy Henry my beloved <3 Henry often not noticing how long he lets his nails grow until he accidentally scratches a Lodger (or the Lodgers clip his claws in cat form and it suddenly feels like his nails are going down to his bone. He never forgives them for that, even if he reluctantly accepts the treats). Loving to run his hand through his own hair with the perfect excuse that he is just making sure it doesn't get in his eyes. Him being so caught up in an experiment he doesn't notice that happy little butt wiggle he makes when he is focused. Him just being very loud and very yelly whenever someone isn't listening or giving him attention (although it's much more whiney and "PaaaaYyYYY aaaAAaAattention to meeEEeEEeEEE" kinda way). Just... Oh my god. Such an adorable lil bastards sjdfhsjdfh jshd <3<3<3

--

I have a feeling his instincts would get the best of him and he would start hunting the rodents around the Society when he is bored or hungry. Sometimes he sees a Lodger staying up late and the cat in him decides that they are not taking care of themselves and if they aren't taking care of themselves, they need food. Or that they have done such a good job and they deserve a reward. Maybe the longer he stays in cat form the more he gets into that "cat mindset" and doesn't realize what he just did until he is human again. Just... Drags a dead mouse over to a Lodger, jumps onto their table, proudly sets it down, and yells for them to get a snack. Maybe he would do a good job at hunting the invisible mice around the Society? Hyde definitely would hunt and bring in dead animals just because, although mostly bc he wants to show off his hunting skills. Him parading injuries and running away when people try to help him is so on brand sdfsdfsdfs

--

Griffin's cat loving Henry more than Griffin my beloved <3 Griffin realizing quite quickly that if he can't find his cat, they're with Henry. Griffin being so confused as to why his cat was never scared of Henry when they were even scared of Maijabi and Lavender. Griffin wondering if his cat genuinely fell in love with Jekyll JR bc he always finds them cuddled up together. Would Henry be able to understand Griffin's cat and be able to speak with them? Would he understand other animals as well? Jekyll and Cat having a deep conversation about the best lodger to cuddle or who gives them the best treats <3

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[uncloseted]

i slept w/th my best friend's bf behind her back, i told it her bc i couldnt handle the guilt and i'm trying to work things out w/th her but she's been saying really spiteful things and told a lot of people what i did including my mom. i love her so much and i want her to forgive me more than anything but i hate how she's treating me, idk i feel like i don't even deserve to feel hurt bc i hurt her so much, i sometimes feel like i deserve it bc i fucked up so badly :( help pls :(

I think you’re probably going to have to let your friend ride this one out.  To me, it seems like she’s really hurt and feels betrayed by you.  As a result, she’s acting out to show you that you’ve hurt her.  I don’t think you can expect her to just be okay with what happened right away or to be able to go back to normal. You violated her trust, and it will take a while for you to rebuild that trust again.  

If you want, you can try telling her that her words/actions are hurting you and ask her to stop or to keep things between the two of you, but I don’t think you can expect her to deal with this perfectly.  She’s been through a big shock and betrayal, both from you and from her boyfriend, and so I think it makes sense that she’s lashing out a bit.  The good news is that it will likely calm down with time, so if you can make it through the next little bit with her, I think your friendship has the potential to recover.

[edelgoth]

Hello! It's me again (Lysithea (Caspar and Felix alternates) and Stahl (Donnel and Cordelia alternates) matchup girl). I'm sorry for bursting again but I loved my other matchups so much I was wondering if I could maybe get an Echoes one? Sorry if it's to much to ask, I just really love the game. ;-; ❤ (Also keep being you! I love your blog! ❤❤❤)

hello!! welcome back!! it’s good to see you again!! and as usually, i have to thank you for your patience; sorry this took me so long to get to T-T

from fire emblem echoes, i match you with… 

mae!!

guess i just like pairing you with mage girls with a ton of spunk? i love mae So Much

firstly, you’re both very warm and extroverted!! i feel like you’d be a sort of ‘social power couple’, in a way; everyone knows you two, and everyone loves you two 

mae can do most of the talking, though; and while you can be pretty quiet at first, i think mae would be quite good at facilitating an environment where you felt comfortable enough to open up? if that makes sense 

you’re absolutely the couple who has a ton of friends, and it’s really not hard for the two of you to make more; combined, you’re just this unstoppable endearing force 

i can see you guys always hosting events and having friends around; you’d have an all-round social household (if you’ve ever read the anne of green gables series, it’s like anne and her friends when they go to college slkfjflkj) 

i think mae’s the sort who’d be really excited about your hobbies!! absolutely a hype-woman. she really loves reading your stuff and seeing your drawings!! 

i think mae might be a bit abrasive to the fact you can be mean at first, but overall she’s a tough cookie; she’d be able to handle it, and once she knew why you did it, she’d be more understanding 

besides, mae is someone with a lot of gusto, so i don’t think she’d be deterred once she realized you both had feelings for each other!! she’s going to pursue it

but mae is also very caring, and when she cares, she cares; she’s going to look after you, damnit! 

and she would be very patient and forgiving with you once you’d made your worries known, and would want to make it as easy a process as possible

she’s big on self-improvement, after all, and she wants you both to be the best versions of yourselves you can be!!

honestly bless you guys, you’d be so precious,,, my heart can’t handle it 

alternative matchups

jesse: i think his friendly, optimistic personality would blend quite well with yours! and honestly? he’s used to getting a cold reception from women, so he probably wouldn’t even register that you were being particularly mean or anything. i chose mae just because i think she’d lead you into that world of romance less tumultuously; jesse is a dreamer and a lover, and he might be a bit too much of a whirlwind at first. 

est: i think it’s the energy and joviality that est shares with mae that gets her a spot here. another very bright, cheerful person that i think you’d get along with quite well, who’s just as warm!! she strikes me as a tad more sensitive and less hardy than mae, though, which is why i didn’t make her your main match!! 

also, bc i was going through to find your previous description, i remembered you asked for a fates matchup the first time, and as i’ve played a little more of the game, now… 

i match you with…

kaze!!

i love this man,,, a lot,,, he’s,,, so good 

firstly, you and kaze are both very kind to people!! i think you’re a bit warmer than him, but honestly? an angelic couple 

but, you’re both quite quiet until you get comfortable, so it may take you guys a while to get to know each other; i get the feeling that it’ll be one of those friendships that arise from propinquity 

kaze’s a very patient and kind person, so he’d weather anything slightly mean you’d say to him; i think he’s the sort who would rationalize your behaviour towards him anyway (would absolutely not guess it was because you have a crush on him,,, he’s just,,, oblivious)

but i think he’d make a wonderful first partner!! he’s a very patient and loyal person, and i think he makes himself very easy to trust because of that 

he’s very gentle and considerate, and would always be checking in with you to make sure you were okay 

i really think that of all the people i’ve paired you with, i think he’d be the best in that regard!! just a very kind, gentle and loving man who’s going to treat you well and try to ease your fears

can you tell i love kaze because i really love kaze,,, and i think he would be very, very fond of you!! 

i’m sorry this is a bit shorter than my usual ship for you, it’s simply because i haven’t thought about the fates characters so much!! 

alternative matchups

kagero: i flipped between kaze and kagero so much, and honestly? could write a full profile for her too!! i just chose kaze because he has a tad more levity to him? not a ton, but still,,, but she’s a very loyal, caring and calm person who i think would make an excellent partner for you!! also, she’d love sharing hobbies with you!! you do a drawing of her and she does a painting of you,,, pure and wholesome,,, 

azura: i think the kindness thing comes into play with azura again!! she’s very kind, very gentle, and very loyal, and i think she would do a very good job of making you feel like you were loved and respected. she’s a bit more distant than the other two, though, and i just like the idea of you with kaze a bit better!!

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

I'm not a fan of Magnus, but he's really the Bonnie Bennett of Shadowhunters. I mean, maybe he's treat less worst than Bonnie but I see a lot in common. It didn't help, bc in the book Magnus didn't loose everything. People keep saying that Magnus!show is better bc he has a plot... do they see how racist the show is. I’m uncomfortable with Alec using the Clave’s racism against Lorenzo. Maia forgives Jordan ?! It's like in the books, so I don't see why this make it better.

He kind of is. He’s around when the show has a use for him but kind of just leaves him in the background when they don’t need him anymore. But I actually legitimately find Bonnie likable whereas Magnus kind of irritates me as a character. 

And I’m glad I’ve met someone who isn’t a fan of show!Magnus’s. Most of the time I encounter people who can’t stop singing him praises. And I kind of find him, in his own right, a bit of a Gary Stu when it comes to the boundary-less aspect of his magic and I find him weirdly vindictive at times, particularly towards Alec and the Malec relationship in general, it’s part of the reason why I have such a problem with shipping him, his inability to even want to compromise on anything. And after seeing what the show did with Lorenzo in this episode, I’m beginning to wonder if vindictiveness is just a trait inherent in all warlocks. 

But I really do hate how this show is using the character of Lorenzo. The writers are doing everything they possibly can to demonize him (subtelty is a lost art when it comes to these writers) and I’m just like, “why is this necessary?” Why can’t it be as simple as the fact that Magnus has lost his magic and is therefore not seen as a warlock anymore so he no longer falls under the protection of the warlock community anymore? I mean, it’s still kind of a dick move but at least it kind of makes sense for that type of community. If there’s one thing I did like sort of about Lorenzo in 3A, it was that he was acting with the warlocks’ best interests in mind. Using the warlocks to help save Jace was not in the warlock community’s best interest so it makes sense Lorenzo would say no. And Alec using his position to threaten Lorenzo is just really horrible. He’s talking about wishing harm on someone just because that person did something a little distasteful. While what Lorenzo did was mean-spirited, it’s hardly the greatest atrocity committed against mankind. You can’t just threaten to ruin someone because they did something that was a little mean and embarrassing but ultimately harmless. This is really uncharacteristically petty of Alec. I swear, sometimes with this show, it feels like we should be rooting for the demonized characters as opposed to the actual heroes of the story. I’m having a difficult time thinking of moments in the show where our main group of heroes legitimately did things out of pure heroicness and not out of their own sense of personal gain.

It’s as I’ve said before, at a faraway glance, this show can appear progressive but when you actually look at it, it’s racist and sexist as shit. Do the books have their own faults? Certainly. But the books, at their worst, never even came close to some of the terrible and unforgivable things this show has done. 

I was not a fan of the Maia forgiveness towards Jordan in the show. I was more okay with it in the books because it was something that occurred in a situation where she was in a more relaxed setting and wasn’t being overtaken by trauma and grief. She did it with a clearer mind and was looking at Jordan as who he was and not who she made him be in her mind. And actually, she broke up with Jordan, at least in my own interpretation, in part because she realized she couldn’t quite let go of what Jordan had done to her. But in the show, it happens in a situation where she just lost her entire pack, she’s dealing with her claustrophobia and Jordan is knocking on death’s door, when you’re under those kinds of circumstances, no way are you thinking with a clear head.

[tasthedelulu]

I guess I'm writing this here hoping that no one will find it.

I think the worst thing about losing your main care giver is the void that they leave in life especially if you depended on them for everything.

Personally for me? My mother did everything for me (cleaning, doing my laundry, making me food, making me tea, washing the dishes , packing my clothes etc). I was spoilt and pampered by mother. She treated me like a queen. She never had a lot but she always saw to my needs and wants. I was never in need of anything.

So now being alone it aches because I have to do all of those things for myself now? It hurts when I see daughters cook with their mothers bc I never got that with my mum. I was always too busy studying to do that with her so now I'm heart broken.

I hate going shopping because it makes me so sad.. It takes the life out of my soul because my heart aches for my mother. It makes me sad because I look at things that my mum use to buy me with a smile on her face or I look at that things that I would like to buy but I just don't. I don't have an income so I have to think long and hard for myself like do I really need that *insert thing*. I know that I can ask my family members for money but I don't want to. My aunt (who I discuss later) told me that people will do things for me and then eventually stop. So I try not to ask for things but more than I don't ask because I don't want to be a burden for anyone else.

Since I mentioned my aunt let's discuss her. My aunt is my mother's sister and basically /apparently my aunt was told by my mother to look after me when she died. I do not remember being told this but my aunt told everyone. Additionally, my mum apparently spoke with my other uncle, aunt and cousin but I have no recollection of this. I am inherently a people's person and I struggle to put myself first. When I do try to put myself first it always blows up in my face. Anyway, I was talking to said cousin after after she cornered me during exams. Told her that I'm a people's pleaser and I can't recall my mum saying my aunt needs to look after me. I trusted my cousin but she went to tell my aunt everything I said. Eventually on 2 occasions my aunt has thrown this in my face.

This is just a bit on the 2 (?)months that I lived with my aunt. I won't say my aunt is a bad person. She is nice at times and will go out of her way to help you? Like yes she cooked and did my laundry for me etc. But the problem was she cooked too little so I eventually had to ration myself. (which I'm still trying to get out of). She would always throw hints about things (oh if x didn't bring this chicken then we wouldn't have any food to eat or I asked y to bring water but he didn't). More ever she liked to nag and complain about people. She could never forgive people in our family for what they did to her but she could overlook everything her husband family did. Even before my mother died she made me feel like I was a burden and that she had to sacrifice for me. Which I never liked and mentioned to my mum. My mum said I should ignore her and my mum died a few days after that.

My aunt spread rumors about my dad age said that he stole my mother's jewelry and that he was "nimak haraam". She even spread rumors about me she told people that I told my mum that I hate her. Additionally, she told people that she doesn't know why my mother said she should look after me when she barely has enough money to look after herself.

Not gonna lie the above two sentences hurt me but what hurt me the most was when she called me "dramatic" and kicked me out of her house. She threw in my face that she didn't know why she sacrificed for me /wasted her time. That hurt bc I never asked her to do that. That's why I never wanted to stay with her. Bc she's gonna throw what she does for me in my face. I even apologized to her and she blue ticked me. It's scary bc if this is the person that my mommy entrusted me to?

I have not spoken to her since and now actively stay out of her way. However, I do need do fetch my things from her house.

There's so much more that I want to write but I think I should probably sleep.

Is it selfish of me to want to be happy? To have my own room? To have my own space?

If you ever come across this post can please pray that Allah s.w.t grants my mother the highest place in Jannah insha'allah ameen. One thing I hope you learn from this is that to never throw what you do for a person in their face. Bc that shit hurts🙂.

Excerpt of my thoughts

-Tassybts

1:41 am 24 Dec 2021