#I'm not a prehistoric human

[canines-crown]

Alterhuman because I'm an animal, but also alterhuman because I literally experience being human differently

Like... I'm a human. The animal. I'm a primate.

I wanna sit around a fire with other humans. I wanna climb trees. I wanna go eat fruit! I wanna chase after a heard of deer!!

I don't mind my human body at all! I love how I can just grab things! I love how absurdly strong my jaws are! I love how I evolved to run and run and run and never stop!!

I don't mind being human! I just hate the society I'm trapped in.

[meirimerens]

youtube shorts is just tiktok without being on the app the amount of "i'm a [qualification] and [misinformation]" could make one turn their skin inside-out in protest. "i'm a board-certified OB-GYN & it's only been about the last hundred years that women have actually experienced menopause. We didn't live long enough to experience it" how can you be so incredibly wrong about something so integral to your practice. King of the Hittites Hattusilis III was told in 1250 BCE that his sister was too old to reproduce at age 50+. Aristotle wrote in the 4th century BCE that women stopped menstruating between ages 40 to 50, common menopause ages today still. i cannot begin to tell you how 4th century & 1250 BCE don't really count as "the last hundred years" unless that -s is doing a lot of heavy lifting. waiter waiter more misinformation laws.

[thegodsutekh]

"Your ancestors are cheering you on" "Talk to your ancestors for guidance"

Oh, you mean

These ones???

Because I agree, they're chill.

[cienie-isengardu]

Cienie’s take on Mandalorian Culture: Kad Ha’rangir and mandalorian traditional weapons, p.3

part 1 --- part 2

In contrast to previous sources that with no doubt tried synthesizing Legends with The Clone Wars lore, the Collapse of the Republic Roleplaying Sourcebook (2019) seems to be written first and foremost with New Canon in mind, at least in regard to Mandalorian culture. While understandably a main focus was put on the conflict between New Mandalorians (pacifists) and Death Watch (traditionalists) just before and during Clone Wars, the history of Mandalorians was presented there in a general, not really detailed way - the Mandalorians were warriors for generations and that is basically the summary. 

The two vital data about Mandalorian weapons are:

the importance of Darksaber (a sword not exactly needed to lead Mandalorians, but an important heirloom of Vizsla clan and cultural item nonetheless)  

the traditional swords made out of Mandalorian iron are known as beskads and their shape was based on ancient Taung design. 

The second point is especially interesting because the visible lack of connection to “ancient time” lore makes the mention of Taung a surprising addition. As I do not have any insight into legal restrictions or demands put on authors, I can only speculate if the authors of this Rulebook couldn’t refer openly to Legends sources which is why this small callback is sneaked into the text without a proper context? Whatever the truth is, Bounty Hunter Code already had similar information, and the same as with the older source, I do not think Collapse of the Republic contradicts what original The Sith War comics presented.

Logically thinking, the metallurgist knowledge needed to be passed down from Taungs to humans and other assimilated Aliens before the original Mandalorians died out. The existence of Mandalorian traditional sword design however is not exactly the same as direct proof the said swords had any real religious importance in their culture. Even more, the lack of proper context who Taungs actually were for (human) Mandalorians raises a question, did Sourcebook mean ancient Taung as the pre-Mandalorian (Roon) culture or indication for original Mandalorian era? Because there is possibility that modern warriors based their beskads on archaeological findings from burial sites on Roon or alternatively, Taung!Mandalorians forged swords in the manner their own forefathers did before Mandalore was colonized. And so we come back to burial sites mentioned in Author’s Cut and a religious/cultural aspect of swords that may or may not survive to the Sith and Mandalorians Wars era. Similarly, we can’t cross out the possibility that Taung metallurgist created swords either for export[5], as gifts and/or sacred items or as equipment for their (non-Taung) vassals before those were acknowledged as equal to warriors and maybe even for Neo-Crusaders who in great numbers came from Republic (thus may be more familiar with sword fighting than more typical Mandalorian axes).

The same as Death Watch Manifesto, "Collapse of the Republic" puts a great importance on the modern conflict over mandalorian “national” identity; however in contrast to the earlier source, the provided knowledge is pretty much separated from warriors’ ancient (alien) origin and it does not even clarify which Taung design - of Roon or Mandalorian culture - it refers and this detail makes a great difference.

Another source worth to examine is one of Mandalorian songs - “Vode An” (meaning: Brothers All), the best known from Republic Commando Game Soundtrack. Years ago, Lucasart.com published the ancient Mandalorian text and English translation of chants used in the game - for those interested, an archived version is still available. 

Part of this song, although not specified by name, was also included in Republic Commando: Hard Contact as a little in-universe snippet added to chapter 7:

Bal kote, darasuum kote, Jorso ‘ran kando a tome. Sa kyr 'am Nau tracyn kad, Vode an. (And glory, eternal glory, We shall bear its weight together. Forged like the saber in the fires of death, Brothers all.) ” — Traditional Mandalorian war chant 

Republic Commando: Triple Zero’s glossary calls the same song as “ancient Mandalorian war chant”.

Both Republic Commando game’s tie-in sources and book series note the old origin of the song and its traditional aspect. On the first glance, it is easy to assume this war chant could be created by Taung!Mandalorians and thus be a proof of swords' importance or presence in the pre-human culture era, especially if used as poetic metaphor. However we need to take two things into account:

First, as I mentioned before, with a culture that has existed for over 7,000 years the term “traditional” may easily refer to various stages of Mandalorian history. If we look closely at the all presented songs, Vode An share a lot similarities - if not the same lines - with other pieces, like:

Bal kote, darasuum kote (And Glory, Eternal Glory) with the first line of “Kote Darasuum” (the difference is addition of “and” in Vode An)

Motir ca’tra nau tracinya // Gra’tua cuun hett su dralshy’a // Aruetyc runi solus cet o’r. (Those who stand before us light the night sky in flame // Our vengeance burns brighter still // Every last traitorous soul shall knee) share the same lyrics with

🔶"Rage of the Shadow Warriors" (later officially named Dha Werda Verda):

Duum motir ca’tra nau tracinya // Gra’tua cuun hett su dralshy’a (Let all those who stand before us light the night sky in flame // Our vengeance burns brighter still.)

🔶 "Gra’tua Cuun":

Motir ca’tra nau tracinya // Gra’tua cuun hett su dralshy’a // Aruetyc runi solus cet o’r prudii an. (Those who stand before us light the night sky in flame // Our vengeance burns brighter still // Every last traitorous soul shall kneel in our shadow.)

From the perspective of making music for a Republic Commando Game - and to my understanding, the lyrics were first created by Jesse Harlin and later official mandalorian language came to life thanks to Karen Traviss and her book series - it makes sense that all songs have the same lyric “core”. However, from the perspective of in-universe culture, the similarity either implies a very limited creativity (artistic needs) of Mandalorians or those songs drew inspiration from the same source but themselves may not be created in the same era. Alternatively, one of them is the original version that inspired the later variants who naturally differ from each other due to isolation and cultural (clan) differences, as Mandalorians lived in various enclaves across the galaxy and clans did not always reside in close proximity to each other. Another possibility is that some of the presented chants were adopted by Mandalorian groups as their specific symbols, similarly as happened with clone troopers using Vode An as their army’s anthem and Kote Darasuum as their motto[6]. 

Frankly, from the all named songs, only for Rage of the Shadow Warriors - in later sources known also as Dha Werda Verda - we have premises to assign it to a specific era. Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Warfare Author's Cut, Part 2 - Ancient Coruscant  places its origin to regime of Mandalorian the Ultimate and its role as a plea of dying out Taung species to be remembered by new, non-Taung Mandalorians:

Hu Jibwe, scholar of military history at the Salmagodro Grand Academy, notes that there is another song popularly known as “Dha Werda Verda” -- the Mando’a war chant known as “Rage of the Shadow Warriors.” During the Clone Wars, some Mandalorian trainers taught this chant to their clones, and it became a hallmark of those units. It’s rarely performed today, so if you have a chance to see it, take advantage: The chant and ritual dance are mesmerizing, particularly if the dancers follow Mandalorian tradition and drum out the rhythm on the chest or back of those next to them: The ash of the Taung beats strong within the Mandalorians' heart. We are the rage of the Warriors of the Shadow, The first noble sons of Mandalore. Let all those who stand before us light the night sky in flame. Our vengeance burns brighter still. The gauntlet of Mandalore strikes without mercy. We are the rage of the Warriors of the Shadow, The first noble sons of Mandalore. Let all those who stand before us light the night sky in flame. Our vengeance burns brighter still. But as Hu notes, “Rage” is far more recent than Dha Werda Verda. The best-preserved record of the Taung epic poem, written in Notron Cant and housed in the Baobab Archives on distant Manda, contains none of the verses of “Rage.” “It’s my belief that ‘Rage of the Shadow Warriors’ dates from the reign of Mandalore the Ultimate, when the Taungs knew they were being eclipsed,” Hu explains. “I’ve always thought it a poignant work -- a plea that the Taungs not be forgotten by the newborn culture they knew would outlive them.”

Mind you, this is just (in-universe) researcher’s opinion and the man may be wrong about the song's true purpose as this is only his academic assumption. However the mention of differences between the epic poem and the chant is a strong indication that the song was created much later[7]. Interestingly, Rage of the Shadow Warriors, if truly composed by Taungs in the period of (pre?) Mandalorian Wars, does not use a metaphor of “forged like the saber” while at the same time is the longest and most complex piece. Looking at the similar lyrics between Rage of the Shadow Warriors, Gra’tua Cuun and Vode An, one may wonder if the “saber” part wasn’t added in human!Mandalorians era where such a type of edged weapon became much more popular.

Another thing worth considering is the periodization of Mandalorian culture. More precisely what in-universe researchers and Mandalorian people themselves describe as ancient times? This is a very important question as sources often use “ancient” and “traditional” interchangeably yet those two terms are not the same and may indicate different meanings (the word ancient itself is more chronology based, the traditional - culturally). Secondly, our idea of an “ancient” and “modern” era in a technologically advanced galaxy far far away may be misleading because really, at which point antiquity officially ends? The best example for this problem is Darksaber itself.

The Armorer and Fenn Rau claimed Tarre Vizsla created this one of kind lightsaber around one thousand years ago which is of course impressive amount of time, but also a relative small part of overall long Mandalorian history (and even longer culture if we take into account the whole record of Taung species). And yet starwars.com’s databank still calls this item “An ancient lightsaber that serves as a powerful symbol of leadership to the Mandalorians”.

In Legends, one thousand years before the events of the Original Trilogy, the Republic and Jedi Order went through a great reconstruction known as the Ruusan Reformation that started the Republic Golden Age. Maybe the New Canon too uses similar periodization or its antiquity ended at a different, much later time?

Even if we narrow down the mandalorian antiquity from The Sith & Mandalorians Wars era to creating Darksaber, it is still three thousand years - a great period of time to which the term “ancient” will refer to. Which of course does not help to examine source material, especially related to traditional songs and items passed down from one generation to another for centuries.

So, how important were swords in Mandalorian culture and how does this weapon relate to Kad Ha’rangir?

Next part: Final conclusions and potential explanations of the problem.

SIDENOTES:

[5] In Tales of the Jedi: Dark Lords of the Sith #2 (1994) - a year before the TotJ comic series even introduced us to Taung!Mandalorians - for the first time Mandalorian iron is presented as a material that can withstand even a lightsaber cut. 

Master Jedi Arca Jeth used Mandalorian iron to secure a Sith tomb of Freedon Nadd, build in 3998 BBY on Dxun, Onderon’s dangerous moon (Uprising of Freedon Nadd #2) . The duel of Ulic Qel-Droma and Mandalore the Indomitable happened in 3996 BBY (The Sith War #1) and Mandalorians up to this point weren’t well known force within Republic border - they did conquered many worlds and their attention at some point was focused on Teta Empress and similar strong regions of this galaxy, yet for example Exar Kun - who in general was knowledge seeker - had literally no idea what the tomb was made of to whistand lightsaber which suggest Mandalorian Iron wasn’t worldwide known yet. This of course raise a question then how Master Jedi Arca Jeth even get his hands on such precious material - something rather hard to get by different means than from Mandalorians themselves, as:

A) beskar is found only in Mandalorian system

B) without a proper metallurgist knowledge beskar won’t be indurable

C) sources like Bounty Hunter Code states betraying the secrets of beskar and mandalorian metallurgist technique is punished by death and of course, this could be more modern nuance (especially when facing extermination of warrior culture) but definitely beskar had a special place in Mandalorian culture. 

Sadly, the issue of Master Arca using Mandalorian iron is, as far as I know, unresolved. 

[6] The Guide to Great Army of Republic (Insider 84) states:

[7] The use of the word “Mandalore” also supports the theory that the song Rage of the Shadow Warriors is a much later creation than epic poem. The version known and used by clones (as presented in Republic Commando game) has changed the original line to “Coruscanta kandosii adu.”, as reference to the capital of the Republic. This raises question though, if “forged like the saber” could be also changed from original into something more familiar and Republic/Jedi alike?

[waitineedaname]

do you think that prehistoric humans making cave paintings had any idea that people like them would see their art long after they're gone

I kind of think they must have, right? I mean, I doubt they could've predicted people seeing their art thousands of years later, I don't know if they could've grasped that sheer scale of time, but one of the earliest things ancient people were aware of was mortality, they must have at least known "someday, i will be dead, and there will be people who will be alive after me, and they might visit this cave." I mean, that's part of some the purpose of art, isn't it? the element of posterity and longevity? you see that a lot in art and literature, the idea of achieving immortality through art because even if you die, your art will outlive you and continue to influence people's lives long after you're gone. i don't know if that's what prehistoric people had in mind, but maybe they thought at least a few generations ahead. maybe when they held up their children to put handprints high above their heads, they thought that someday, their grandchildren might come to that same cave and see how small their parents' hands once were

[turgidscum]

i always find it funny when people try to block me after engaging with me on a post like... this is tumblr babe. i have so many accounts. i know everything y'all are sayin' and it's cringe as hell.

"you're not an animal this is the same shit people did to furries"

nah man furries wanna dress up as animals and draw our fursonas and shit. i enjoy me my big ass fuckin' 'yote dude and i think i share a lot of traits with coyotes.

but that doesn't mean my spirit is that of a coyotes. that's some trans appropriation or native american appropriation right there. and considering i'm both, sugma.

[brothermouse]

I tell you what, this country has gone to heck in a hand basket. We've lost sight of what we were. We need to go back to a time when Men were Brine Shrimp and Women were also Brine Shrimp.

We need to return to the values of the late pleistocene era, when Lake Bonneville was a vast inland sea covering much of what is now Utah and parts Idaho and Nevada.

TO SAVE THIS COUNTRY WE NEED TO REFILL LAKE BONNEVILLE!

Now you might be saying, "but Brothermouse, wouldn't dumping trillions of gallons of water into the Great Salt Lake with the intent of returning water levels to their prehistoric levels cause untold damage to infrastructure, massive loss of human life and irrevocably damage the local ecosystem for the foreseeable future, to say nothing of the economic effects?"

To that I say, of course it will, and that's just the price I'm willing to pay.

[bogleech]

Actually my CURRENT completely serious personal list of animals I'd add to our current world and specifically local to where I live is as follows. I have shared some of these before but my list is always evolving:

1) A big tarantula sized lousefly because I think they look awesome, would be like vampire bats in that they can bite anything but don't naturally mess with humans. Everyone would find these scary, I would keep one as a pet.

2) a freshwater amphibious barnacle. Larva would have to crawl out of the water and start growing in dirt or mud with long roots. Would smell bad to attract and catch flies when it's exposed to air. In water could catch things like ostracods. I would raise these in pots of dirty scummy water on my balcony. Pokemon would make a poison type Barbacle form out of them.

3) a big huge 12-15 foot long predatory amphibian that looks like specifically this toy of Crassigyrinus. Basically just like a crocodile in size, niche and danger level but slimy and would like cold northern rivers so I can go see them and feed them raw chicken off our fishing docks.

4) a creature exactly like this idiot looking prehistoric lamprey reconstruction, but with a horrible mouth that can bite you like the cookie cutter shark/cookie cutter animals I was hypothesizing. These would live wherever #3 lives so they could have a good food source (#3 should regenerate really well like an axolotl) and so I could catch them and keep them in aquariums

5) a predatory spiny katydid like this guy but as huge as a New Zealand Weta and maybe camouflaged like a clump of lichens

6) a species of glow worm gnats that are maybe just modestly twice as big and just about everywhere in the world in trees and stuff

7) a giant python size freshwater ribbon worm, just like the marine ones with paralyzing venom that swallow whole big fish. Just want one that lives closer. It should be able to come on land, too. I just want the mongolian death worm to be real.

8) a single freshwater cephalopod and I nominate a flapjack octopus big enough to eat a man. I just want the cuero to be real.

9) basket star that hangs from trees and catches birds and stuff. I know echinoderms use seawater as blood but maybe it could fill itself with salty mucus? Maybe it should also protect itself by stinging all over. I'm tired of getting stung by boring nettles in the woods, I wanna get stung instead by spiny tree tentacles.

10) a single surviving pterosaur that evolved to be vampiric and should look as close as possible to the stirge from Dungeons and Dragons

just to clarify that's this one, the one that looks like a miserable piece of shit

[bunny-jpeg]

drops of blood

toto wolff

tags: smut/pwp, vampire au, vampire!toto, pet names, human!reader, blood & blood drinking (duh),

a/n: happy halloween!! also i apologize to german speakers, i tried really hard to make sure any and all translations were good. apologies if i failed

"my, my, what big teeth you have." you said as you got into your lover's lap. you cupped his face and marveled at him with a warmth in your smile.

toto chuckled, "i think you have the wrong monster, mein süße." he looked up at you with those dark eyes of him. you always thought vampires had red eyes or eyes like shimmering gold. but toto's eyes were dark. that lured you in and it was very easy for you to fall under his spell.

he had spent centuries luring innocent virgins to a bloodied death, to sate his thirst. but, not you. you were less of a meal and more of a lover. he allowed your curious human nature to touch his icy, cold soul.

toto had many nicknames for you. some days he would go without saying your name. mein süße, liebchen, kleine, and his personal favourite, sonnenschein. or he'd just call you, sunny.

you knew some were a little infantalizing at times. but, it was hard for toto to see that you were a woman. you were so young, compared to him. he was centuries years old. he had seen so much. so of course, you seemed so young in comparison!

"so much light in those eyes." he said as he marveled at you. you'd giggle and squirm at his strong praises. his hands on you and his lips are you neck. you knew he could bite you, he had done it before. but instead he laid a tender kiss.

he was a looming figure. he was one with night, the moon, the darkness. and you were the embodiment of the sun, dazzling and bright with warmth. so he was more willing to depart from his large home in monaco to spend sunny days with you.

you smeared sunscreen across his cheeks. you were certain that it could work on a vampire! toto humoured you, he wasn't allergic to the sun. just that his skin was a little more sensitive. you two would go out about your day, and toto would admire you by the water.

"stay still, sonnenschein." he said as he got his phone out. he may be old, but he wasn't prehistoric. he knew how to use an iphone, after all he had a collection of photos. primarily of you. you smiled and looked precious by the waterside. he smiled, "my sunshine."

but when the nighttime came, that was when toto was at his strongest. the sunshine in large quantities made him tired the way too much darkness could. it was circadian rhythm in reverse. but he'd spend decades in the sun if it meant being with you. but when the night came, then his touches got a little more assertive. he groped at your behind while you laid cuddled at his side in bed with a movie on.

you squirmed a little under his touch and he smiled down at you. you looked up at him and pouted at you. you had an expression of a doe, even if you couldn't see it. a little fawn was more accurate in toto's eyes. you held onto the front of the white undershirt he wore to bed. your legs tangled up in one another. you smiled at him gently and pressed yourself further against him. he held onto you a little tighter and kissed the top of your head.

you said, "i guess it is getting to that time of the night." you shifted a little bit and got yourself up. you were in a pair of sleeping shorts with hamburgers printed on them and a tank top with a bear on it. you made sure any hair was off the nape of your neck and exposed your neck to him.

toto chuckled, "i've trained you so well, sunny." two of his fingers trailed across your soft skin.

you replied, "i'm not a dog, mister wolff." you looked over briefly and stuck your tongue out at him. then hissed when your lover sank his fangs into your neck. you whined a little bit. you knew that some would view you as a live-in meal for an ancient vampire. but, it was so much more than that. after everything toto did for you, you didn't mind giving some of your blood to him.

he placed a hand at your middle and groaned a little against you. he always said you tasted delicious, better than any wine he ever had. you didn't know exactly how to respond to that. you knew you had a lot of positive traits, but you never considered that your blood tasted good.

toto was a proper man, he knew how to bite in a way to not make a massive mess all over you, him and the bed. you'd akin it to getting a needle, a little blood left over. after all, toto didn't want to waste a drop. not when it was so good. he held you a little tighter as he made sure the dribble of blood got into his mouth. you could feel his tongue up against your flushed skin.

while he was very diligent with making sure that he didn't make a mess of your bed. but, he did make a bruised mess on your neck. that was his mark on you. you moaned a little bit and reached for him. he held himself closer to you and you felt the warmth flood in your gut.

he licked the wound to close it and you shuddered with want. you felt the warmth through you as you relaxed a little. you combed your fingers through his dark hair as you moaned a little. you felt good as he pulled away. he licked his lips free of blood.

his eyes seemed a little darker, not with a blood hunger. but, a sexual hunger. and with you a little light headed made you giggle as you leaned in to kiss him on the lips. you flopped back into bed with him and kissed him all over. there were moans that escaped your lips as you could feel your lover's hands on your ass. you shifted a little and felt the heat in your core.

"such a beautiful girl." he said as he pushed hair out of your eyes. he stared at you. you could see your blood stained on his teeth and it made excitement rush through you. he added, "my sunshine."

you felt heat bloom in your cheeks and toto grabbed at your hips. he rubbed his hard cock up against your sweet pussy. you were both clothed, but you knew you'd be nude soon enough. he let go long enough for you to get your cheeky shorts off and the cotton panties underneath.

he took off his undershirt and sweatpants. both of you soon were naked and his hands were back on you. he kissed at your neck, right where he bit you and you whined from the feeling of his lips against your bruised skin. you were beautiful under him.

but you were even more beautiful when you were on top. and toto moved you onto his hips. you braced your hands across his broad chest and rubbed up against his cock. your slick pussy teased him and he held onto you soft hips. he eyed you and slowly you sank on his cock which made excitement leap through you.

"my beautiful sunshine." he purred, "mein süße." he watched your moved with a careful gaze. to him you were perfect. centuries on this earth, moving through it like a dark cloud. you were the peeks of sunlight that cut through his darkness.

you made him feel human. alive for the first time in years. he groaned when he felt the pleasure curl in his gut. in a perverted fairness, he felt quite alive when you two were intimate. when you rode him, not hard enough to bruise your soft body. but enough to make both of you feel a heavenly euphoria.

you whined a little bit as your applied more of your weight against him. his hands held onto you as you moved up and down. his cock stayed in you the entire time, but your movements made him feel a course of hot through him. you once asked him how could he remain hard when he was a vampire. he simply kissed your head and told you not to think about it too hard. it was a a weird quirk of vampires, a small piece of heaven. to be technically undead, but still receive pleasure. he would take what he could get. and what he could get was the most beautiful woman in monaco riding him under the low yellow lights of your bedroom.

"that's it." he groaned, "you're beautiful." he sighed as he held on a little tighter. his accent hung a little heavier with the heat in his voice. that made you excited, leaving you hungry for more of him.

you panted heavily and leaned in, curving your back to kiss him passionately on the lips. you squeaked against the kiss. your pace quickened and it made you feel a rush of pleasure through you more. the thump in your chest quickened the more you moved.

the kissed got hungrier, the lust grew bloomed between you two. toto held the back of your head while he kissed you deeply. you ranked your fingers down his chest and arched your back a little. you felt the patter of want in your chest as the two of your moved against one another.

toto trailed kisses across your cheek and jaw. your noises got a bit louder and your lover's grip held onto you tighter. he could feel your pulse under his lips. it warmed the immortal creature. you were a flame in his life that he was drawn to. he would always be drawn to you, for all your years together.

"mmm, toto."

he moved up against you a little faster and it made you moan a little louder. your pulse quickened and it made the vampire lust for you even more. he loved the taste of you, even when there was no blood involved. you were everything he yearned for, the creature of the night found love in the embodiment of the sun.

you held onto his shoulder, pressed chest to chest as the two of you moved against one another. you captured his lips and moaned a little louder. you could feel the rapid thump of your pulse in your ears. you felt the shiver of excitement through you as you two fucked one another.

the pace was consistent. it wasn't rough so toto could hurt you. he'd feel horrible if he truly hurt you. if he bruised you in ways you didn't consent to. you moaned a little louder against the heated kisses. his hands gripped on a little tighter. he kept you firmly against him as you moved up and down his cock.

when the kiss broke, you looked at him with a lust fueled gaze. your tongue stuck out for a moment while you tried to catch your breath. the pleasure was becoming an overwhelming feeling. the heat between you two left you feverish for him.

your short nails clawed at his shoulders as you knew you were close to climax. toto knew it as well, your cunt clenched around him. part of him wanted to switch the positions, but you'd whine due to being so close to climax. you could be a bossy little sunshine.

not that he minded, he loved that you knew what you wanted. and you wanted him. every way you could have him. the kisses continued and soon you tensed up. you felt the buzz of orgasm go through you as you finished first.

toto shuddered from the feeling. it didn't take long before he felt the heat of climax as well. he wrapped hid arms around your smaller middle and rutted up into you. while he could experience climax, he didn't cum inside of you. a downside of being a vampire.

you lazily made out with one another once more as you both rode out your climaxes. and when you were both done, you rested against one another. you laid out on your lover's chest. you felt hot and sweaty.

but toto didn't care. he kept kissing your soft face. you moaned a little bit and he chuckled. he rubbed your back while you came back to reality. you looked up at him, your chin on his chest.

you reached to tap your lips cutely and toto went in to kiss you softly on the lips. you melted a little from his touch. and he patted your behind lovingly.

toto never expected to enjoy the sun after his transformation into a vampire all those years ago. while he didn't combust in the sun, he still strayed away from its light. he didn't expect to find the sun in the loving form of the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

his love, his life, his sonnenschein <3

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

The average prehistoric person could make a nice living in about a fifteen-hour work week. Fifteen hours a week for subsistence leaves a lot of time for other things. So much time that maybe the restless ones who didn’t have a baby around to enliven their life, or skill in making or cooking or singing, or very interesting thoughts to think, decided to slope off and hunt mammoths. The skillful hunters would come staggering back with a load of meat, a lot of ivory, and a story. It wasn’t the meat that made the difference. It was the story. It is hard to tell a really gripping tale of how I wrestled a wild-oat seed from its husk, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then I scratched my gnat bites, and Ool said something funny, and we went to the creek and got a drink and watched newts for a while, and then I found another patch of oats…

Ursula K. Le Guin, "Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction" (1986 essay). theanarchistlibrary.org. [Retrieved 8 February, 2025]

Why, yes. I am going to drip feed you this essay a paragraph or two at a time, out of order.

____

I absolutely agree that the Story is the vital pivot around which human cultures turn. But I'm not sure I agree with Le Guin's premise, here, that the dominance of the Aggressive, Spear-Throwing, Hero within these stories began around those ancient Paleolithic cooking fires.

According to futurist and social scientist, Riane Eisler (Her official website), before the rise of either the Patriarchy or Matriarchy, the earliest human civilizations were Egalitarian, and the shift to a Dominator culture was probably long and gradual.

Maybe, way back then, there were plenty of stories about the adventures of gathering wild oats. Maybe, sometime in the future, we'll rediscover them.

After all, there's the Irish Proverb: Bíonn siúlach scéalach (Travelers have tales to tell). All you need to gather stories (or oats) is to go for a walk.

As it is now, we have no way of knowing either way.

[ishparpuaqib]

I feel like most people casually acquainted with prehistoric archaeology (and certainly all archaeology undergrads) ask themselves the following at least once—are Venuses real? like, does the typological category known as "Venus figurines" actually tell us anything meaningful about prehistoric art?

I believe the most honest answer is that it depends on the author. archaeology has a lot of vocabulary, but almost none of it is systematised, so there's a lot of diversity to how every term gets used in the literature. if "Venus" is taken to mean "any depiction of a human female made before the Neolithic", then no, obviously the term is meaningless—a category that includes That One Upper Palaeolithic limestone figurine of a pregnant woman from Willendorf, this ivory figurine of a prepubescent girl discovered in Laugerie-Basse (the first prehistoric figurine to be called a "Venus"), and this Early Mesolithic jet pendant from Monruz... is not a very useful one

but! if you, as I do, restrict the label "Venus" to—

figurines (i.e. excluding bas-reliefs and similar) that

are about the size of (or slightly larger than) an adult human palm (3,3"/8,4cm), and

show no signs of perforations that would suggest they could've been worn as pendants or jewellery (implying they had to be held or perhaps stuck into the ground when not stored away), that

depict pregnant or corpulent women, always with exaggerated breasts and hips and often with a defined vulva, but

no defined facial features, and seldom a head more defined than a stump (if the head is present/preserved at all)

you get a typological category that is both geographically and temporally compact: basically all known examples of prehistoric figurines that fit the above description come from continental Europe (cf. the central and eastern parts of it), and are dated to the Gravettian period of the European Upper Palaeolithic (c. 31,000 – 20,000 BCE). this is the place and time that produced both the Venus of Willendorf and the Venus of Dolní Věstonice, the two best-known and most analysed Venus figurines. the latter is interesting because Dolní Věstonice is also the site where this carved ivory head of a woman was found (speculated to represent a portrait of a woman buried near the site, a facial reconstruction of whom is available here), suggesting the lack of facial characteristics on the (contemporaneous) Venus figurine is quite deliberate

so like. What Does It All Mean? idk! I'm not convinced the Venuses represent prehistoric portraits—if they were supposed to act as portraits, why would their authors choose to leave out their subjects' faces? even if they were self-portraits, the widespread availability of natural reflective surfaces like water makes the lack of mirrors a non-issue (I'm regurgitating Michael Bisson's criticism of McDermott & LeRoy (1996) here). the size of the figurines makes me think they were used sparingly—a satisfying, if not very interesting possibility is that they were intended to serve as protective amulets during childbirth. I'm not necessarily opposed to the idea they're meant to represent deities of childbirth or fertility or what-have-you, though I'm against any further speculation on the character of these conjectural deities as a matter of principle

[tr1nd2de]

Old enough

I just saw a post from Wonderjanga (C.C. And Great Grandpa Wayne), and it improved my head cannon about Billy telling the league, that he remembers everything he went through in those 84 years of the time bubble.

I wasn't going to post this but I changed my mind. In my Head Cannon, Billy is already older, like 16 or 17 years old. He has been in the league for a few years since he was a kid.

Ever since Captain Marvel (or Billy Batson) joined the league, he's hardly ever asked for a reunion so it would obviously be a proven thing to deal with. Bruce was worried about this, for a few weeks now Billy has been acting strangely, missing some meetings and not responding to the communicators or the messages we send him.

So him calling a meeting was important, especially because he said it was urgent. The league members were quick to arrive, even Flash who is usually late arrived early, Billy didn't say much he just looked down trying to understand something... something was wrong Bruce could feel it.

Billy: Thank you for coming, I would like to say that the problem is not the end of the world, at least not our world but mine. I recently discovered why Fawcett has so many mental hospitals.

Superman: What do you mean by that Billy?

Billy: Do you remember the Justice Squad?

Wonder Woman: Yes, I fought alongside them in the second war, its members were Bullet Man and Woman, Golden Arrow, Mr. Scarlet and his helper Pinky, Mega Spy and Ibis the Invincible.

Green Arrow: From what we know, they returned to the United States for an urgent government mission. We have no further information about them to this day. Some myths say they were killed, others say they deserted and disappeared from the map. I prefer to believe the latter.

Billy: I found out what happened to them. When they returned for an urgent mission, they were assigned to deal with a being called King Kull. Just like Vandal Savage he is also a caveman, high intelligence and physical condition. In prehistoric times, King Kull was the ruler of a race of proto-humans known as the Undermen (also called the Beastmen), a brutish but technologically advanced race who ruled over humanity until they were finally overthrown in a revolt. Kull survived into the 20th century trapped in a state of suspended animation. When he woke up he decided that humans should suffer the same as he suffered, so he built a Suspendium bomb.

Batman: What would Suspendium be?

Billy: Suspendium was an artificial compound developed by Dr Silvana.

Flash: Since when has Silvana been alive?

Billy more than me and you

J'onn: Where are you going with this Billy?

Billy:Well... I-I knew Fawcett wasn't a "normal" place, not because of the abundant magic that pours into the city from the Rock of Eternity, but because of everything, the culture that hasn't advanced, the fashion sense that hasn't changed, and so on. I kept this in my head and went looking for answers, not only out of curiosity but because of memories that didn't make sense. Memories that I no longer remembered, I lived them.

Black Canary : Are you okay Billy?

Billy: yes, as far as possible.

Billy: I followed the clues that my memories gave me, and I arrived at an old building, the facade of Sivana, one of the Solar Centers, there was a passage to the basement and there I discovered where the old heroes of the Second World War ended up. They were trapped in a state of suspended animation, all of them, I came to the conclusion that the effect of the Suspendium had worn off after all these years. Apparently the Justice Squadron was unable to get Kull to detonate the bomb, everyone on Fawcett was affected, the heroes and Kull were trapped in a state of suspended animation that has not yet passed.

(Hal) Green lantern: Holy shit...

Billy: Yeah, holy shit. Well that was my report for the month, I would like to take a really long vacation, recommended by my psychiatrist.

Black canary: Psychiatrist!?!?!

Billy: Yeah, I'm seeing a-a psychiatrist, after discovering that my life was a loop of suffering and pain, finally my mind gave out and I developed a dissociative personality disorder, I-I- this is the first time I've come to consciousness. I-I-I have a few already, one of them is an 8 year old child called Hedwing, the other my supposed evil twin, all I fight are the sins, he was born from them I don't know his name yet...

Black Canary gets up and goes to Billy and hugs him."Oh Billy you don't deserve this"

Batman takes off his hood and stands up, hugging Billy. "I can't do much for you, but I will do what I can to help you, money won't be a problem."

wiping away the tears. "T-thanks, but that's not the whole problem, m-my Captain form also had new personalities."

After coming back from the shock Superman says: My God, I didn't know that was possible...

Not either, but the personalities that came are called Lord Shazam and a goth who says he has no name. says Billy leaving the hug: Lord Shazam prefers not to leave the Rock and Goth likes to explore the world.

So you mean that all that discussion about you being a child was a complete waste of time? Flash says trying to break the ice.

running his hand through his hair and leaning back in his chair (Hal) Green Lantern says: Nice try Barry, but how old are you Billy? Because the second war was about 85 years ago.

Well... coincidence or not, the Suspendium bomb exploded 84 years ago, in 1940 when I was 10 years old and had already been at war for 1 year. says Billy sitting in his chair.

Living for a long time has its consequences, Billy, but you are not alone, not today or tomorrow, because you have us and me, we will help you, little brother. Diana says, smiling at Billy.

Thanks but still, it's not something I like since well... I was childhood friends with Thomas Wanye. Billy looks at Bruce.

My father? Were you my father's childhood friend?.

Oh yes, how could I forget, Tommy was wild but fun, we got a good scolding from our parents, good times, I think that if the bomb hadn't exploded I would be a friend of the family, and possibly the one who would have been adopted would have been you. Smiling from ear to ear, Billy says looking at Bruce.

I don't know if it was good but that's it, have a good day, or night or afternoon, aah be well.

The End.

[chaichaiiskai]

NO PICKLE X MALE READER??? I GOT YOU.

pickle x prehistoric! shot male reader who's like his most precious s/o and overprotective during the prehistoric times and then now in the future. it can be fluff with a bit of angst.

almost the same height as baki or something.

notes: okay okay okay, I'm so sorry I'm late on this but I now have the brain capacity to write somethin' worth readin'...

yandere-ish! possessive! pickle x prehistoric! male! reader

warnings: violence, blood, body horror (not to reader), pickle is a lil' yandere ngl—, possessive and protective behavior, angst, kidnapoing, mention of smut but no explicit descriptions, male reader, amab reader, mxm, mlm, homophobes dni, mdni, 3.7k+ words (I went a lil' ham ngl)

Unexpectedly, the Jurassic research team had never expected to have a primitive man at their fingers, suspended in time and saline— not just one, but two. However, strangely enough, they both looked distinctively different, one was much taller and muscular than the other, causing the researchers to question the periods in time in which both had existed. That was quickly disproven despite this, seeing how the two of the men were encased in the very same saline rock, back to back as if they'd been frozen in time in the middle of protecting each other from an outside threat. On the outside looking in, it was quite poetic in a way, a clear display of humanity in its ideal form, hardened in resin. It was almost a shame that they would be carefully melting away the rock to get a better view of the two men encased in the saline.

The biggest theory amongst the researchers was that the two men could potentially be siblings, the taller one being the oldest brother while the younger was the shorter one; even if they didn't explicitly look alike. There was also the theory about them being father and son, there was no definitive answer— yet.

And so, with as much excitement as most scientists who were ready to discover something new, the thawing process had begun on the saline rock that held two great mysteries.

It took a bit of time for the researchers to thaw the rock with pure caution, wanting to keep the two beings intact as much as possible and so, they'd decided to thaw one side at a time— starting with the smaller man first. About two days later, they had managed to thaw him out completely and get him onto a gurney that surprisingly creaked and squeaked under his weight. They hooked the man up to monitors and machines, eager to see what exactly was going on with him, and to their shock— there was a faint heartbeat which required more close surveillance from them. The man looked almost as if he was stuck in a peaceful sleep, seemingly unable to wake up.

Half of the research team found themselves debating on whether or not they would apply modern technology to this man, wanting to reanimate him while the other focused on melting away the rest of the saline and getting a better look at the beast of a man while keeping the smaller man under surveillance.

And to their astonishment (and horror) the beast woke as they had managed to melt the saline away, stopping about halfway past his torso. One could only imagine the look of terror on the faces of the small, everyone was small compared to this creature, scientists as they stared up at him. He simply stared back, unmoving, but blinking, glancing around briefly at his confusing new surroundings that looked nothing like what he knew when he was younger.

Project Pickle was a success, but could the same be said about Project Cucumber?

Despite the looming and watchful eyes of the eight foot tall man who watched each and every one of them as they worked, the scientist continued to melt away the saline while Pickle remained still. Based on instinct alone, he did not sense any imminent danger, therefore, he saw none of the people in the room as immediate threats.

That did not last long, when he was completely free, he began to look around more, almost as if he was looking for something specific, tendrils of dark locks swinging as he looked rather perplexed. Then, he briefly sniffed the air, pupils dilating as his gaze zeroed in on the high security door that kept him tucked away in a metal box he didn't care to think about. And he began to walk towards the door, unknowing of what he was doing exactly, and stared at it, sniffing the air once again.

Surprisingly, the military personnel that worked as security on the premises didn't even bother to move, not even when the beast of a man snatched the door clean off it's securely bolted in to get a peek inside. He then crouched under the doorway to walk through it, almost like he was walking into a cave and made his way towards the gurney that held Cucumber's sleeping form. The scientist in the room all audibly gasped, shuddering in fear as he took some steps forward, standing at the foot of the gurney that still held your body.

The silence in the facility was deafening, even a single needle would be heard if it were to hit the cold tile floor.

And that's when Pickle moved, grabbing a hold of your calf to give it a squeeze that would have surely shattered the bones of a modern hero. Coincidentally, it had only caused your eyes to shoot open, a sound of anger coming from your mouth that was accustomed to a growl as you sat up, grabbing at the hand of the being who'd rudely woken you from your sleep. Only then when you were awake did Pickle loosen his grip and your eyes met for the first time in over hundreds of millions of years. The moment was wholesome to the two of you, but somewhat eerie to those looking on the outside in.

From then on, Pickle and Cucumber were given their own special area where they spent all their time together. There was one thing that was quite noticeable about the pair, Pickle did not like it when people got too close to Cucumber, often growling and baring his teeth at anyone who came too close. On the other hand, he would let the scientist get close to him so long as they kept their distance from you. Their interactions were simple enough, no words were exchanged but there was the occasional grunt and groan as they seemed to speak to each other in their own silent way. The original theories of the scientist believing that you were siblings was proving stronger and stronger with each day.

That— however, would soon change upon witnessing an... interaction between the two of you.

One late evening, the scientists were simply busying themselves with their research, not even paying much attention to the two men in their makeshift habitat. That was until the sound of growling, hissing, and other wild, animalistic noises coming from one of the monitors that was watching over the Projects. Curiously, the several scientists turned to look at the screen, mostly with mystified looks on their faces.

It looked like Pickle and Cucumber were battling, roughhousing in the dirt of the carefully constructed enclosure, biting and scratching at one another. Almost immediately, the scientists were ready to jump into action to find some way to subdue the two of them before something horrible happened and ruined their research, but nothing could have prepared them for what came next.

The winner of the wrestling match was Pickle, and he was eager to claim his prize. The scene that played out on the monitor was enough to make every single personnel who was watching blush like roses in a garden.

Welp, there goes their family theory... The last thing they had ever expected was that these two primitive men would be engaging in a romantic partnership, yet here they were— the sounds the two of them were making was proof. And surely, they should have all looked away, but they couldn't seem to look away, only doing so when the two men had both tired each other and decided to fall asleep, cuddling together as if they hadn't just violated each other in the most criminal and animalistic way. The two of them looked almost innocent in a way, Pickle easily dwarfed Cucumber in the spooning embrace but at least the two of them seemed comfortable.

From then on, the researchers that watched you both seemed to look at your interactions under a new light, noticing the romantic undertones with everything the two of you did together.

Pickle had a refusal to eat things that he did not actively hunt and seeing how there were no animals in the enclosure, he did not eat. And fortunately, considering the differences in biology, the primitive man was able to withstand being without food for a much longer period of time than what modern day people could do now.

A few weeks after being thawed from your saline sanctuaries, and constantly being observed by the weirdly skinny people with their weird furs, you were beginning to become more and more curious yourself. So much so that while Pickle was sleeping and one of the massive walls moved, your eyes immediately flew towards it and watched as one of the skinny people came into the room cautious and careful, holding something in their hands that seemed to be carrying other things. In interest, you stared at them, watching their every move, staying completely alert as they set the thing with things down and scurried away behind the moving wall.

Pickle was still slumbering deeply as you stared at the new thing in your enclosure before slowly approaching, sniffing around so that you could safely close the distance. As you got closer, familiar scents filled your nose and a sound of approval, similar to the sound of a chirp, was heard before you picked up a familiar fruit, peeling it off its skin and beginning to happily indulge in the fruity flavor. You sat beside the thing of things, the bowl of fruit, and happily ate the delicious treat, crossing your legs in a comfortable manner.

The eyes of your lover soon fluttered and he felt around on the ground, using his touch to try and find you, and when he is unable to, an angry growl is the only sound he makes before getting onto all fours, glancing around like a predator on a hunt. That was until he felt your presence and smelled you again, along with some strangely familiar scents and so he crawled in the direction of whether the scent was strongest.

If there was one thing to give credit on, it was the enclosure that the scientist has carefully constructed for the two of you looked like a forest, filled with trees and dirt and patches of grass, but there was an area where you often would relax— a clearing where the trees were a bit more sparse and the dirt was more abundant. That was also where Pickle and Cucumber were able to see the wall move and keep a close eye on the scientists and researchers who entered the enclosure.

The man crawled his way towards where he could smell where your scent was strongest and soon stumbled upon you hunched over, back facing him, and shoving things in your mouth, stuffing your cheeks with your newfound feast. Be that as it may, upon sensing Pickle's presence, you paused and in your squatting position, you shuffled your feet around, pivoting so that you could face Pickle. Soon enough, you flashed him a grin, mouth drenched in sweet juices as you beckoned him over with a hand.

He trusted you completely, but the same couldn't be said about what you were consuming, his eyes peeking between you and the fruit as he slowly crawled towards you. As soon as Pickle was within reach, you were quick to pluck one of the grapes from its stem and shove into his mouth, almost as if you were nonverbally saying 'try this!'

Caught off guard by the strange thing shoved in his mouth, he nearly spit it out but you quickly gave him a pleading look, puppy eyes causing his shoulders to slump, holding the grape in his mouth rather awkwardly. Huffing in frustration at him, you pointed a clawed nail towards your mouth and pretended to chew before pointing at Pickle, a look of concentration on your face as you nodded at him, hoping he'd get the message— he did.

At first, you couldn't tell how he'd felt about the grapes based on his facial expressions alone but that soon changed when his eyes widened, and then an approving sound followed.

"Hm!"

You couldn't agree more, grinning as you plucked a few more grapes, making a sound similar to a laugh when Pickle basically unhinged his jaw as you threw grapes in his mouth, one by one like a childish game.

This was another thing that the researchers had noticed, the two of you were easily amused by the simplest things, acting rather childishly despite both being full-grown adults. It was almost endearing in a way, watching the two of you, mostly you, feed each other fruits, enjoying yourselves with no active threats of danger in your lives. It was almost something to be jealous of... And that was when the researchers' curiosity seemed to spark, and perhaps an experiment would lead to some interesting results, as dangerous as they may be, but it would take an intricate amount of planning for every possible outcome.

Weeks pass.

At the exact same time every day, more bowls of fruit are brought for the two of you, the amount of fruit only seeming to double in sizes each and every time. The two of you actively seem to enjoy the fruit, the grapes being an especially popular fruit between the two of you. You were often feeding Pickle and yourself the fruit, happily enjoying them each and every time.

And just as usual, one of the skinny people brought in more bowls of fruit, with even more fruit than you could ever imagine. And naturally, you both dug right in, enjoying the sweet flavors wholeheartedly. That was until the world began to spin around you and Pickle, your vision growing spotty and blurred. Before either you or Pickle can register, your body's hit the ground and the last thing you see is Pickle attempting to crawl over you, wishing to protectively drape himself over your body but you lose consciousness before seeing if he's made it.

Much to the surprise of the researchers, the tranquilizers they'd injected into the fruit had finally worked! And now they could perform their experiment in peace— a great number of security personnel piled into the enclosure and grabbed a hold of your body, carrying you out of the enclosure and shutting the door behind themselves, carrying you to somewhere else within the facility.

The door was then properly amped up with the greatest technology the facility could offer, mostly looking to measure the strength of Pickle and his partnership with you.

When the next day came, Pickle awoke, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the enclosure he was entrapped in. He slowly sat up once his senses were back at their full use, though his body was still a bit drowsy and tiredly glanced around. Naturally, he was wondering where you were, causing him to click his teeth together in a particular way, calling out for you in his own special call.

And when he got no response, usually an excitable chirp, he got on all fours and began to crawl around the enclosure, sniffing and looking for where you could be hiding. Having been in the enclosure for so long, your scent was still lingering and he knew that you liked to play games— hiding from him, but with each passing second of him calling you and climbing up a few trees to find your usual hiding places, his panic was becoming more and more apparent. And before anyone could register the true terror of Pickle, the man stood on his two feet and roared at the fake sky, the power from it was enough to shake the entire enclosure.

The pure, unfiltered rage could be felt even through the security cameras currently being observed.

Perhaps this was a mistake.

Another growl followed before Pickle could be seen barreling towards the moving wall // enforced door with great speed and animosity, almost as if he knew that they were withholding his beloved from him. A line of personnel were on the other side of the door, prepared for what was to come next, and when he came in contact with the door, slamming his head into the metal, a noticeable dent from the outside was created but the door did not immediately give out. Another roar of anger came from him as reared back and began to repeatedly pound his fists into the door, dent after dent being put into the door that would not budge like the one he'd destroyed after waking up.

On the other side of the facility, you weren't doing any better, having woken up about an hour after Pickle, you were surprised to see the new enclosure, confused on where you were and most importantly— where Pickle was. Nothing smelt or felt familiar and you couldn't sense him. And unlike Pickle, you didn't immediately react with rage, instead, you reacted in a rather panicked way, climbing up the nearest tree for a better vantage point. When you saw no sight of Pickle, the anxiety began to set in, not even considering the possibility that he was still somewhat close by and that you'd been forcibly separated from him by the researchers who were still observing you both with keen eyes, notebooks and pens in hand.

They keep you separated for days, watching as Pickle's rage only grows and your anxiety seems to be eating away at you, almost deteriorating you at a rapid pace. Watching your differing reactions was proving to be even more interesting than they'd originally hypothesized. And while doing this experiment, the scientist had not revealed themselves to either primitive men, but about four days after the experiment started, one of the researchers had offered that they go back to sending in the bowls of fruit to see how they'd react.

Naturally, they chose to give you the fruit first.

And when the wall opened, your gaze immediately snapped up and you moved faster than they'd anticipated, hurriedly approaching the person with the bowl of fruit on all fours. The scientist is horrified at first, watching as you stare at him with pleading, puppy-like eyes. And then, you open your mouth before closing it, almost as if you were trying to say something but were hesitating.

Every scientist was on the edge of their seats, not expecting your reaction in the slightest.

Your mouth opens and closes a few more times before you finally speak, though the words are a bit broken, syllables are a bit hard to comprehend for you at the moment.

"Hmm...hm...hi—him." You move your hands above your head and begin to mess with the air, almost as if you were playing with long hair, obviously talking about Pickle.

"Wh...wha...wha...here..? Whe—whe...where?"

You did not get the reaction you wanted, watching as the scientist dropped the bowl of fruit and ran away, the wall shutting quickly behind him. As soon as the door fully closed, you lunged at it and slammed your fists onto it, broken words soon following as you pleaded, eyes beginning to water.

"Plee...plea— plea..? Please?!"

The sight of you whimpering and pounding your fists on the door is nearly enough to make the scientists sympathetic, watching as you crumble in on yourself, clearly suffering from some kind of abandonment issue. So much so that you were willing to speak their language to try and communicate. They wondered if you could learn more words and perhaps even sentences in the future. Perhaps they should have separated the two of you since the very beginning.

On the fifth day, Pickle had stopped pounding on the door, the amount of dents he'd left in the door was a concerning amount and the personnel had even grown fearful that he'd end up breaking through it soon, but they were fortunate that it seemed he'd given up. And instead, he simply sat down in front of the door, crossing his legs and his arms over his chest, waiting for the wall to open, almost as if he was expecting it.

It never opened.

Not that day.

Not the next day.

And not the next day.

The doors would open often for you, the scientists would bring you fruit and strange things while they spoke to you, trying to get you to talk to them again but your eyes were always wandering behind them, looking for Pickle in hopes of seeing him again. You do not remember the last time you'd been with him for such a long period of time, your anxiety seemed to build with each day.

"If you can just say one word— we'll bring you back to your mate, okay?"

The scientist said, waving their hands around as if that was going to help you understand what they were getting at. You simply furrowed your brows at them, trying to understand the weird noises they were saying to you. The language barrier was obvious.

As one would expect, the scientists were frustrated by the progress, trying to express to you their desires and what they wanted. They were getting nowhere.

Pickle had remained seated like a statue in front of the door, unmoving and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He had to find you, and he wasn't going to let this strange thing stop him from doing so.

Though he may not be the smartest, he knew that his fists had worn down this strange stone wall and just a few more shoves would soon bend to his will. And so, suddenly, he stood up and got into a fighting position, bringing his fist back before shooting it forward at the speed of a bullet that breaks the sound barrier with a clap and the door goes flying, crushing the line of personnel on the other side against the nearest wall, turning them into mush.

He steps out, a blank, uninterested stare on his face. An alarm soon goes off at this, seeing how he'd just brutally murdered some of security, but that didn't stop Pickle from continuing to walk, eager to find where you are, wanting nothing more than to have you back safe in his arms. And if that means crushing the skulls of small people, he wouldn't mind, so long as he got back to you.

[mammoth-clangen]

I love seeing the colour patterns on your clan gen homotherium and smilodon.

They remind me of cat colours. Colour mutations in animals (cats and prehistoric animals on general too) are my special interest

I remember that my favourite smilodon design was the one from Primeval. I still have the box sets and they were my favourite as a kid (and now lol).

Sad that Smilodon was most likely tawny like lions. It apparently lived in open areas so most likely wouldn't have spots or stripes. But that doesn't mean we can't draw them like it. Also I wonder what mutations they did have in real life (like white lions, white tigers, "strawberry" erythristic leopards, albino leopard, and melanistic leopards and jaguars do appear in the wild)

I actually discovered your comic when I followed the homotherium tag after seeing the frozen cub. I once saw lyuba the mammoth at the natural history museum, London, at a limited exhibition. I'm completely obsessed with the permafrost mummies. I hope I get to see more in person one day.

Here's my kitty, Zoe.

Oh my goosh what a cute cat ;A;

here's my creature, Fat Tilly! She's an 11yr old Selkirk rex who likes loafing and lying in the sun c:

And thank you! I adore colour mutations in extant animals and I agree that it's really fun to contemplate them in extinct ones c:

I'm gonna preempt this getting long and put a cut here jhrjhrf

I'm sure you will already have seen this, but for anyone interested in paleoart depictions of colour mutations, I'd really recommend this great article all about it

White Cat, Gold Plains was actually all about the premise of a Homotherium with piebaldism. Pied is one of my favourite pigment mutations because it's so much deeper than integument patterns; it's actually a neural tube defect that leads to distinct behavioural changes. WC,GP was about Kiina, the pied cat, and her struggles with always being view as 'childish' by her peers and struggling to fit in. There was also more human impact in this story, as Kiina gets picked up as a cub by a group of early humans. It was sort of my own experience/musings on neurodivergency played alongside some thoughts on early domestication attempts humans must have had (though we all know that, sadly, Homotherium did not end up domesticated). Pied animals are typically more trusting, which is why you see so many pied domestic animals! (Fat Tilly and Zoe both are, for example lolol)

Also the Primeval Smilodon has one of the most gorgeous and distinct designs of any media sabercat tbh, I really loved the episode as a whole even though it had a sort of sad-but-expected ending.

I don't remember where I read it, but there was someone discussing Smilodon patterns and the conclusion was basically "we can't be sure". While lions are solid as adults, they're spotted as cubs and likely had spotted ancestors seeing Pantherines seem to have strongly contrasting patterns as the default. Machairodontids aren't even the same lineage as Pantherines, so we really can't know what patterns they had except for Homotherium latidens having dark brown cubs! They could just as easily grow into a different adult coat, like hyena do. (side note, I was sorta hoping that absolutely amazing Homotherium mummy news might drag some people to my comic so I'm glad it did lolol)

Smilodon was also likely very ambush dependent, being too bulky for pursuits even as long as modern lions. Disruptive colouration could have helped with this even in fairly open habitats. This is actually why I gave the Ice Fangs very faint stripes; high contrast tiger striping didn't make much sense, but breaking up the outline a little couldn't be a bad thing even in a steppe environment. I also didn't want them completely solid because there are actual lions to differentiate cx

[kofipot]

"Damn, I'm so poor and unhappy((( Few people love me(( eh(("

I finally found William's purpose! He will tell the history of humanity, while Shelley talks about prehistoric times, when human had not yet appeared on Earth :)

Btw they both suffer from unpopularity among children

🤨🏳‍🌈❓

[unlikelypandahologram]

Reasons to ship every single version of MegOP

since Very Dumb Discourse™ exists about whether or not certain versions of this ship are valid, this is going to be THE most positive post about all versions of MegOP. refer back to this post for reasons to ship your favorite version of MegOP if anyone gets weird about it with you. now let us begin!!

G1: goofy '80s faction dads fighting each other in a denny's parking lot every week LET'S GOOO, that shit is fun as fuck. orion pax also totally had a celeb crush on megatron before megatron ruined that and shot him and his pals 😔 and there's a lot of angst you can add with megatron becoming galvatron and optimus coming back to life to see how much he's changed!

BW: it's the sheer fucking comedy gold factor of a newly minted college graduate and a terrorist dinosaur IMMEDIATELY singling each other out on a prehistoric rock and deciding to call their daily gang slap-fights the BEAST WARS, what iconic drama queens LMAOOOO. also, megatron made his final body in BM look like optimal optimus SPECIFICALLY to fuck with him, and that's just...incredible

UT: the fact that megatron CANONICALLY acted like a grieving widower over optimus after he died in armada is. amazing. never forget their absolutely insane obsession with each other that they can never EVER give up on played a direct part in unicron nearly ending the world <3

Bayverse: this is the one continuity of all fucking things that gave us the lore about megatron being prime's lord high protector. absolute galaxy brain writing from the tie-in comics. also these two would ABSOLUTELY have the messiest, nastiest, most brutal hate sex imaginable, and that's beautiful. <3

Animated: optimus being a rookie washout underdog and megatron being a super scary much older warlord is a really interesting and underrated fresh take on their dynamic! lots of fun to be had with exploring what their relationship would be like after megatron finally acknowledged him as his archnemesis, lol. also...age AND size difference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Prime: do i even need to say anything, i'm pretty sure that one flashback still of orion and megatronus being friends is responsible for birthing a million shippers for this pairing alone LMAOOOO. the bitter ex-boyfriends energy was TRULY off the charts in this show, it's a damn shame megatron never appeared in RID15

Cyberverse: same bitter ex-boyfriends energy but this time with dates at maccadams. megatron also dies encouraging optimus to beat the unhinged alternate dimension megs AAHH THE ANGST

IDW1: they're both depressed gay war criminals in this one who CONSTANTLY live in each other's heads rent-free and that's amazing, lmfao. also, megatron becoming an autobot means this is one of the VERY FEW continuities where it's not nigh impossible to figure out a way to give these two a happy ending together in fanon

IDW2: space date space date SPACE DATE. they were falling together and everything. megatron also LITERALLY tells optimus to open himself to him...to give him the matrix...yeah megs my dude i'm sure that's the ONLY thing you wanted from optimus "opening" himself. toootally positive, lol

G1 Marvel: megatron was SUPER fucking pissed and weird as shit about the time optimus died over a video game. it counts

Dreamwave: their first fight had megatron urging optimus to join him AND they disappeared together in a space bridge explosion once which is like, a fanfic-esque setup for them to be alone. also i'm pretty sure this is the continuity where optimus accidentally gave megatron a lobotomy, so...uh...potential for angst is to be had

SG: mirror universe!! evil crazy villain optimus with noble goody-goody hero megatron has so much potential for absolute chaos. bonus if you also bring in the normal versions somehow through multiverse shenanigans <3

KP: the only way this version of prime can redeem himself from the creepy underage human girl bullshit is if he gets a good hard dicking from megatron. next

Prime Wars: huge "ex-husbands go on a road trip with their disgruntled daughter" energy here. megatron also LITERALLY says "oh optimus, if only you could see me now" <3

Earthspark: again...need i say why? they're pals and working together from the get-go, what's not to ship??

Skybound: optimus literally wears megatron's arm. truly beautiful <3

TF One: it's not out yet but give it time. the entire movie is going to be about orion and d-16 being madly in love and tragically breaking up, baby!!