#I'm like very emotionally attached to her music (and her music alone)

[loonylooly]

hard being a swiftie when that woman keeps doing shit you can't even defend anymore

[nextstop-fixationstation]

OK analysis time! Matt said that Marcy's affection towards Sasha was more surface level than Anne's, which was described as "complicated." People might assume that this means that Marcy's affection for Sasha wasn't deep, or that their relationship wasn't.

If we're being honest here they weren't presented as having depth to their relationship so much as having acts and services. They're on the level with each other and can interpret each other's needs for a plan but they are lacking somehow when it comes to each other's emotional needs. This is something Darcy touches upon when they say they might not have ever been friends at all, and might be a core conflict between Sasha and Marcy. It's also a good example of why Anne is the actual Heart of their friendship. She connects and makes their dynamic deeper. While Marcy is desperate to keep people together and hates being alone, she admits she lacks a core understanding of emotional intelligence and this is something she admires in Anne. Marcy treats herself as a tool and mostly makes friends by doing things for them and complimenting them. She's kind of the perfect POV character for a journal that gives lore specifically because she's very attentive to things like strengths and weaknesses and team synergy, but isn't necessarily attuned to emotional intelligence. She kind of blocks herself off from feeling certain things too keenly or doubting herself, and masks it using this peppy overachiever persona.

Maybe if Marcy were more emotionally self aware, she would have been even more openly hurt by how dismissive Sasha is of her interests (even though Sasha clearly does like nerdy things), or she would have noticed that her friends don't really care for RP (etc). But in the series what we see is a Marcy so afraid of being left alone that she'll hide every emotion and every hurt aside from what she thinks will make people stay - she delivers compliments, improves infrastructure, says all the right things to earn trust. She's a great twist antagonist! Admitting that her friends don't or can't reciprocate her interests or desires is important to her arc, because it serves as a lesson to her that friendship is more than just doing things together or doing things for each other. Marcy and the others aren't just tools in schemes and plans.

We hear from Anna that Sasha has difficulty knowing when to bring other people to the table, so for someone like Marcy who thinks that she needs to earn everything through acts/upgrades, it makes sense that their relationship remained very surface level. Neither of them pushes the other to see things differently, while Anne does. Anne can acknowledge where people hurt and hurt her, and can acknowledge that this doesn't mean they aren't friends or significant to each other. Anne notes the complexity! It's why she's so compelling.

So, Marcy acknowledging how hurt she is that her friends don't want to do what she wants is significant because she also says, "I believe in you." Love goes beyond the stuff we do for each other. There's a bit of faith, too. What she did isn't right either. Being hurt isn't an excuse.

Darcy isn't just "evil Marcy," the Core is also every temptation for Marcy. Escapism, distraction, perfect friends who go on quests with her whenever she wants. There's a darkness to this kind of insecure attachment that Darcy reveals. Fear of inadequacy and irrelevance. Fear of loss. Fear of change. Fear of what is deeper than skin deep. Maybe my friends will forget me if I move. Maybe I'm just their nerd, just like Sasha's just cool. So their relationship isn't surface level to us, because this nuance is communicated to us through the subtleties of the show's execution. It's a really well acted, well boarded, well written show with fantastic music! It's really amazing!

Sasharcy IS very complicated! But it's complicated because they never dig deeper with each other until it's too late. It's also why it's significant that Sasha is the one to ask, "Can we save this friendship?"

Why is friendship with Marcy so easy? Is it because they got along and there's mutuality here, or is it because they didn't let themselves get any deeper than what was easy? It's so easy for them to just be the controller and the executor.

Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness takes time. It takes a lot of thought, discussion, and work. Friendship in the long term, deep enough to mean something and hurt when it's gone, is similar. It's not just sentimentality and acts of appeasement.

aaaaand that's what i think matt meant when he was like "marcy's affection for sasha was kind of surface level"! I will admit I was like noooo Matt noooo don't say it was surface level whyyyy but like i had time to think abt it so i'm fine now lol lmk ur thoughts💙

smth i didn't add to my original tweet thread is that i DO find it interesting that marcy appears to specifically empathize with the experience of lonely people who grow up a certain way or doing things a certain way to protect themselves from loneliness. she seems to have an intuitive understanding of people fitting into groups via niches, but is drawn to people who already seem like outcasts as opposed to being able to identify it when someone is surrounded by people they seem to easily connect with. Marcy has this fundamentally insecure and lonely viewpoint that makes her very interesting to read and analyze, and I suspect it also contributes to her popularity. I mean, clearly *I* love her

[stephaniebrownslover]

Hİİİİ YET ANOTHER ANON

Can I ask about Creepypasta ages headcanons in your main AU??

THANK YOU FROM NOW <333

HIIIIIIII NEW ANON, YOU'RE SO SWEET<3333

Okay thank you so much for asking, you guys are literally spoiling me, like I'm having a little heart attack whenever someone asks me something.

I don't want this post just be numbers so I'll give a random fact about main characters' most important birthday day and something about non-human characters, hope you don't mind. It's mostly angst and I'm so sorry about that.

YOU'RE WELCOME AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT<333

I know most of the ages sound ridiculous but it's really hard to attach them all together :(

Characters' Ages And Facts About Main Characters' Most Important Birthday

Au's ships: TicciWork, NinaKate, MaryJane and Bloody Angel(probably should've said this earlier)

Current year: 2014

Main characters

-Jeff The Killer: 20

Jeff got burned at the age of 15, at his most important birthday. His parents were seeing a therapist while Liu was still in prison, and his therapist made a suggestion to Jeff's parents to organize a birthday party for cheering Jeff up. Jeff can never forget the day he was burned alive because his whole life was shaped by it. That's why he hates his own birthday and attacks if anyone tries to celebrate besides Liu.

- Clockwork: 20

Clockwork's most important birthday is the 18th age. Because that was the first year she wasn't on her own. Jeff, Toby, Nina were close friends of Clockwork at the time and each had their own small-scale celebration. For the first time, Clockwork didn't hate her own birthday. That's how she got into the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays, if she felt good about something stupid like that, the people who cared about her might also deserve to feel good in a stupid way, or something like that.

- Hoodie: 25

According to Brian, the most important birthday is the one he celebrated at the age of 10. His family had taken him to see a theater as a gift, and little Brian was so impressed that he was literally obsessed with theater performances and musicals after that show. Even though 10-year-old Brian is the reason why he is where he is right now, Hoodie never blames him for following his dream.

- Masky: 26

His most important birthday is the 20th, when he started working under Slenderman's orders. The year he realized that his life would be like this and that he would have to spend more than he hoped in this job, that fighting would only cause him to die sooner. Obviously, he didn't care about himself, he'd rather die than live this way, but he didn't want to leave Brian alone.

- Ticci Toby: 19

15th birthday. The last year he celebrated with Lyra and his mother since he was a proxy at the age of 16, he celebrated rest of his birthdays as a proxy. Toby doesn't remember all of his memories, and although most of the time his memories are more like pieces, he knows that two women named Lyra and Connie are worth worlds to him. And every time the fragments of that birthday come in front of him, he feels nothing but happiness.

-Eyeless Jack: 21

↺Actually, if he was still alive, he would have been 34. Because he was 21 when he died during the ritual in 1980.

The most important birthday is the year he received the letter of admission to medical school at the age of 18. He had received this letter a few days ago, and he and his family had thrown a big party to celebrate it. Although he spent his 19th birthday, his first year of studying med, with his family, the most important thing for him is his 18th age.

-Jane The Killer: 22

21, when Mary proposed to her on her birthday. Jane was in a very emotionally repressed state after all her trauma, and Mary could no longer control her feelings for her. While Jane and her lover Mary were sitting in a fashionable restaurant, Mary proposed to Jane. And when there was a lot of opposition because the age group was generally old due to the cost of the restaurant, Jane kissed her on the lips so as not to discourage Mary. The best birthday of her life.

-X-Virus: 17

7th age. That year, he had gone to the zoo on a school trip and celebrated his birthday with the animals there instead of people. This is the biggest proof that he prefer animals' existence to humans. Of course, he might have been happier if a monkey hadn't stolen his food, but little Cody wasn't mad at the monkey then. And when the monkey saw that Cody was upset later, he gave him some of his food anyway.

-Nina The Killer: 19

16th birthday. She and Jeff hadn't made up yet and it was a day when she was really hurt emotionally by him. Her close friend Kate, who saw this, tried to kill Jeff. Although Nina could hardly stop her, Kate was convinced later and they went to hang out at Kate's special place together. Kate was a really special friend to Nina, and she liked that she knew that Kate opened herself up so much. And when Kate dropped her home in the evening, she found Toby and Clockwork were clumsily trying to celebrate her birthday, she cried because of cuteness.

-Kate The Chaser: 20

The first year she spent with Nina as a lover, 20th age. They had become lovers a few months ago, and unlike other proxies, Kate did not remember anything about her past, so she had no memories to miss. Nina had known her since she found Jeff at the age of 15 and was after him. They became close friends when Kate was 17 and Nina was 16, and they started dating when Nina was 19 and Kate was 20. Their relationship began when Kate took pity on Nina and helped her, and Nina helped her during difficult times where Kate tried to expertize in proxy work. The year they became lovers, Nina organized a special day just for the two of them, knowing that she wouldn't want a big party, and Kate's favorite moment was when they watched the sunset with one head phone.

Main supporting characters

-Homicidal Liu: 18

-Sally: 13

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1972.

-Ben Drowned: 12

↺If he had continued to live, he would have been 32 years old. He died in 1994.

- Puppeteer: 23

↺ If his heart was still beating, he would have been 37 years old. He died in 2000.

-Zero: 24

-Nurse Ann: 27

↺If her heart had been alive, she would have been 33 years old. She died in 2008.

-Bloody Painter: 17

-Judge Angels: 17

-Mary Vaughn: 22

Supporting characters

-Lulu: 16

-Laughing Jack: 214

↺He was produced in 1800.

-Nightmare Ally: 15

↺If she was still human, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1974.

- Kagekao: 29

↺If he was still a human, he would have been 34 years old. He died in 2009.

-Rouge: 32

-Jason The Toymaker: 134

↺He was produced in 1880.

-Laughing Jill: 114

↺She was produced in 1900.

Background characters

-Slenderman: 2500+(?)

↺It is not known exactly when he was born, some say that there are drawings of him even in ancient Egypt.

- Emra: 25

↺If she was still alive, she would have been 37 years old. She died in 2002.

-Dr. Smiley: 33

-Cat Hunter: 30

-Zalgo: ?

↺It is estimated that his existence endured back even before the earliest times of humanity.

-Weeping Forest: 16

↺If she had not undergone this change, she would have been 56 years old. She died in 1974.

[kookies2000]

I found out a reason why we love The Last Wish.

It's Shrek but in a different font. But at the same time, it's not just a lazy copy of Shrek. Take Puss and Perritos' relationship and Shrek and Donkey for example.

How easy could it have been to just copy Shrek and Donkey? The loner man who wants nothing to do with the go-happy and positive outcast. They bond and become best buddies. Not to mention the outcast character helps their friends with their relationship issues with the woman they love. The outcast character talks with the woman and the man and finds ways to help them and strengthen their relationship.

The basics are there but they are done differently.

Puss is more out there. A party animal. He wants to be noticed and he pushes everyone away because he feels afraid of not living up to his legacy and others pulling him down. He's afraid of growing attachments and that can all be summarized in pride and toxic masculinity.

While Shrek wants to be alone and doesn't want anyone to see him. Stays indoors at all times. He pushes everyone away because he knows people will only see him as a monster and nothing else. So no need to waste time forming bonds. People take this as a form of racism.

Perrito is very positive, emotionally smart, and happy. He has a tragic past but he never lets that pull him down. He doesn't let anyone's negative comments pull him down and he helps everyone he can. He's also very innocent-minded and doesn't like to insult anyone unless it's for fun. Naive and kind-hearted.

Donkey is also a happy character but lands more on the dumber side. Nothing wrong with that, we love him for it! It's his charm. He's just as helpful as well. The difference is that Donkey has a lot of sass to him. He's much dirtier and likes to make snarky remarks. He does let things get to him like his tragic past and shows to get jealous a lot. But hey he's a sassy jackass and we love it.

Kitty is a badass at all times and very feminine. She's flirtatious, she's an adventurer, and a loner as well. She's logical and very grounded. She's also struggling with trust, and depression, and is very defensive. She knows what she wants and is very straight-minded. Kinda like Shrek. She isn't a daydreamer and lives in a depressing reality because of the abuse and betrayal she faced.

Fiona is very happy and a dreamer. She always has her head in the clouds and is filled with hope. She sees the good in everyone and is just super kind-hearted and trusting. She does have a tragic past like Kitty but she tends to stay positive and overly kind. And of course very flexible and sometimes easy to persuade. She's just very emotional.

Same roles but different personalities.

What I'm saying is.......... IF WE CAN HAVE A SHREK MUSICAL THEN WE CAN HAVE A LAST WISH MUSICAL!!!! 🤣 It's the exact same basics!!! Just told differently!!!!!

What was the point of this post, I don't know, I just saw a connection and really like musicals. But I also appreciate how they didn't take the lazy route and just remake the Shreks story but with Puss.

[lav-endermoon]

i think i speak for all of us when i say that i am mentally and emotionally exhausted. aside from many reblogs, i've held off on posting about the wilbur situation for the sole reason that it is difficult for me to cope with. to be clear, i will no longer be posting in support of cc!wilbur or lovejoy, nor will i be interacting with those who continue to. time will tell if i continue posting about his characters - i've been drifting away from dsmp for a while now, and at the moment i feel very uncomfortable associating with anything related to wilbur.

i'm going to take some time off tumblr to process all of this (seriously, if you see me on here, please yell at me), but before i go i want to say that we should thank shelby for exposing the truth, being vulnerable, and opening up conversations that needed to be had. deplatforming wilbur and spreading the word of his actions is important, but our energy also needs to be directed to supporting her.

i hope that after a long series of mcyt scandals (<- for lack of a better word - feels a bit reductive), this is a wakeup call for people to stop putting their emotional stability in the hands of public figures and realize that anything they show us not only could be, but most likely is, a facade. i say "public figures" because this is not an mcyt problem - it's a problem within content creator circles in general. recent situations have displayed what happens when parasociality/idolization becomes dangerous. the amount of people in these communities who resort to downplaying and dismissing victims or blatantly upholding abusers, all in the name of keeping their fave on a pedestal, is disturbing. this is a conversation that needs to continue, for the sake of victims and those who fall into unhealthy patterns of idolization. we need to change the way our communities treat victims, and we need to think critically when engaging with CCs who we will never know personally.

none of this is to say that anyone's feelings of grief are invalid. this is a hard thing to come to terms with. it's hitting me that i was deceived by the person who influenced me to become a songwriter, whose music found me at the most relevant time, who wrote a character who i could connect with during a time where i felt deeply alone, who wrote a story that brought me so much joy and comfort at my darkest hour and inspired so many creative projects. i feel hurt and betrayed. even though all the time and love i devoted to his content was voluntary, i still feel like something has been taken from me. like i've been taken advantage of - not just by him, but by the entire industry that he is a part of. i feel manipulated, threatened, and unsafe, and those feelings have been an undercurrent throughout my time in this fandom.

your attention is quite literally currency, and you should assume that creators will try to exploit it. our brains are hardwired to trust others, not to tell the difference between real human connection and a streamer broadcasting their personal life + showing affection to their audience. don't blame yourself for the effects of an inherently parasocial type of content. don't blame yourself for having an emotional attachment to someone or something that once brought you comfort. be gentle with yourself right now, and going forward, examine how the content you consume makes you feel. how does it make you act? how does it change your thoughts? what biases do you have? these forms of content can be deeply manipulative and putting up a mental boundary is important - and, like shelby said, listen to your gut. we need to remember that they are profiting off of us and learn how to keep ourselves safe psychologically. this is another conversation that needs to continue.

take care of yourselves.

[femmefatalevibe]

hi femme, how are you? <3

i am currently 18, and probably experiencing some growing pains but i don’t know what to do… i’m too attached and dependent on my mum. my mum is my best friend, i feel like my child self when i was scared to be away from my parents i feel kinda empty if i’m not around my mum and i’m scared that i’ll have to be surrounded by other people who are not my mum because i love her so much but i don’t want to burden her or be desperate, i feel like my mum is getting tired of me and it hurts. i also feel bad because she is always there for me and i don’t want everything to just be about me, i want her to also rely on me, instead i feel like i’m so codependent and attached to my mother and i feel like i’m annoying. i don’t know how to express myself in a way that doesn’t seem clingy and i can’t explain it either like she’s my mother most people do everything they can to get away from their parents but i love her so much and i don’t want to be away from her for long and i wish that i could be always with her for the rest of my life. unfortunately i am moving out of home in september, and going abroad and i know she has her own life but all i feel is like that 5 year old child how loves and is pretty much physically and emotionally attached to her mother, like those kinds who hold onto their parents legs in public because they are too scared to be apart from them and don’t want to be around anyone else… this is probably pathetic but i just need some advice because i feel like this is probably excessive and i hate feeling empty whenever i am not with her…

thank you <333

Hi love! Fortunately, you're still young and self-aware of the codependency issue before you've gone off to live on your own. Moving abroad is intimidating if not scary for anyone your age, so that makes complete sense! While I'm by no means a therapist or licensed health professional/psychologist (someone you should probably speak to about this), here's my take and some advice I can offer on the situation:

First off, I would say that, at 18, you should have your own schedule and activities you do independently of your mom and family every day. Some ideas include:

Spending your morning alone reading, working out, having coffee/breakfast, journaling

Taking a walk/going to a workout class/lunch with a friend

Getting a part-time job or remote internship over the summer to learn some practical skills and how to work independently in the "real world"

Make your own decisions regarding most meals of the day (I know a lot of families have dinner together if everyone lives at home), when to go shopping/when to run errands or do chores

Some other suggestions I have include:

Schedule a set time of day or dates throughout the week to connect with your mom. Have a standing catch-up time either at the end of the day or for a weekend brunch, a weekly dinner out just the two of you, etc.

Take time to reflect on your personal values and the person you want to become as you begin this new chapter of your life. How would you describe your independent identity outside of your mom & family? What are your ultimate life/career aspirations? What do you plan on studying in school? What are your likes and dislikes, favorite activities/fields of study? What does your ideal social circle and social life look like? How would you describe your personal style, food preferences, lifestyle habits, decor setup, favorite books, music, and TV shows? What character traits and qualities would you use to describe your personality?

Consider healthy boundaries you can set to support your well-being. If you know that your over-reliance on your mom is an issue, speak to her about how you're aware that you're very dependent on her, appreciate her time and efforts (while this is her job as a parent – don't feel guilty about your mom providing healthy emotional and instrument support), you know that it is best for both of you to define some boundaries as you're growing and moving away. Some potential boundaries to set are how often you two hang out throughout the day (I need time and space between X hour and X hour in the morning & evenings), certain tasks you want to complete independently, and specific activities you decide to do with friends or alone throughout the week.

Join a club, team, or organization that allows you to socialize with university-aged peers, so you can develop more healthy interpersonal and social skills with people outside your family. Hopefully, a couple of them become your friends in the process!

Read some books on self-discovery, confidence-building, and other life skills/traumas you're healing from. I recommend Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future and Confidence & Assertive Skills for Women: How to become a Strong, Independent, Confident Woman in the Modern World come to mind. Maybe also try a self-discovery/shadow work journal as a self-learning and identity/confidence-building practice.

Hope this helps xx

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

some grand self mythology

when I look back over my life

I realize how little true peace and safety

I have actually been able to feel around people

in whatever home I ended up in

it never felt like I grew up in a home

it felt like I just kind of showed up

never really belonged but had to work there

deny the reality of my experience and the characters in it

keep all the secrets even if they hurt me

I always seemed to do a lot of more things than everyone else

but when I succeeded they were upset and mean

and when I brought it up I was always wrong

I never felt the right way

I didn't even think the right way

and it's a cycling pattern I have just been swimming through

suspended in time and raw perceptions of a reality

I never get to acknowledge and everyone denies

no wonder I confused role playing with self-preservation

no wonder it took performance art to understand myself

I built my identity around the idea I am called by duty

to be kind and fair and level-headed and generous

mostly because I never had an example of that growing up

my mother couldn't contain her rage and beat it into me

my father couldn't contain his own emotions let alone mine

let's just say co-regulation or really any sort of regulation

wasn't much of a theme with the generations who raised us

I become who I am because of what I didn't want to be

when things start to become challenging I begin to

edit and rearrange all the elements I'm working with

the problem with that is that I forget the whole story

or the part I'm working on or the plot and setting

and I'm distracted by the connections I make in my own mind

learning how to drop my awareness into my body has helped

it used to be unsafe to live in my body because I'd have

all these emotions and be forced not to express them

completely on fire and punished if I showed it

my youngest used to say over and over and over

"daddy, don't hurt mommy. mommy, don't be mad."

you don't get to be mad when I hurt you

you don't get to raise your voice when I refuse to hear you

you don't get to be a priority or upset about not being one

in a relationship that it purely exists for partnership

I never fucking had a partner I always had another child

while raising children under a system of perfectionism

under men who said they loved me and then became their fathers

refused to see the dysfunction in their modeling

and I was the one who crawled bleeding out of the ruin every time

less than what I was when I began but determined to be more

yesterday I promised myself an entire day of self care

and I observed how often my mind tried to tell me

that I should be doing something productive for the family unit

the house was empty and it never is

and I never want it to be all the time

but the silence was literally euphoric

I knew there was not one soul who would need me

that I could let myself nap or draw and spend time in my journals

to listen to music and daydream about things that made me smile

every time I found myself feeling anxious for being so "selfish"

I would place my hand on my belly and breathe

remind my heart that everything was safe and I got to exist

just exactly how I was and there was no sin for it

and I had to do this multiple times to keep the flow

it reminds me just how much pressure had been put upon me

how deep the self-doubt was forced into my very skin

by the words of people who benefit from me

being fully detached from myself or sense of it

as I write this I feel my heart light completely on fire

bursting into a righteous flame that wants to destroy

the source of such filthy injustice and cruelty

I place my palm over it and breathe until it turns back to green

I'm now realizing just how many counterweights have been attached

to all of these emotions so that I've been forced to face them

I've been forced to doubt my own emotional good-nature

and then projected upon the coercive behavior patterns of others

all the while trying to meet all the needs of the household

physically and emotionally stimulated in negative ways

while my intellect was chronically devalued and dismissed

what an absolute shit of a situation

thank fuck the chapter is closing just like the lion's portal

does that mean I'm finally going to be stepping out of the cave?

I guess only I can be answer to that question

and I'll answer it with dynamite, a match, and a half sort of smile

and I am not singing a song you're gonna like at all

it makes him so angry when I laugh in his face at his delusions

oh, is this how it used to feel? the energy transfer?

you used to feed by punching me in the scars you told me

I needed to heal while denying your own past and reality

I hope everything I do in this next battle

feels like getting emotionally punched in the balls over and over

I absorbed all your tricks just so I can use them against you

I just enchanted them a bit so I can look good doing it

you did some bad things, baby, but I'm the worst of them

and I'll bet every time you say my name

and as the mother of your child you're gonna have to

when your mouth says my name it will create a storm

like the one you finally inspired inside me to rip off the hinges

of every damn door you tried to lock me behind with your arrogance

too bad you can't force someone to lose their intelligence

you can just create a toxic fog that keeps them in oblivion

but one of us isn't oblivious anymore and it happens to be

the one who spent her whole life in hell and the forest

and neither one particularly cares if you survive

and they always have someone to take care of the corpses

so let's get real about something, okay?

when I devoted myself and my little dragonlings

to your life and your name and your legacy

I enlisted and gave myself willingly and completely

that's how I do love and marriage and relationships

if my children are involved the stakes are highest

you can fuck with me but say your prayers if you fuck with my kids

and you always made sure to let me know much of a burden

having to do things or take care of them financially was to you

please understand this divorce will be

where you and my documented experience with you

is going to be judged and seen fully by the court

according to the laws of this fine country

and a professional advocate that is only in my corner

and not at all thinking about your opinions

or what you think is fair and your emotional immaturity shows

when you say I have to take my ex to court too

because I never made him pay child support

honey, your mother's enmeshment wound is showing

I don't have to do shit according to anything you want

especially when it comes to my agreements and relationships

I just want I deserve according to how you treated me

and I put it fully into the capable hands of the law

you're losing control of the narrative that you so clumsily

crafted in the thoughtless way you kind of do everything

you're starting to feel the fear, aren't you?

that's why you're sending me paragraphs of offers

also all my rabbits are fucking dead

so trying to send me videos of a rabbit doesn't help you

sometimes I think I'm most mad because now that I see you

really fucking look at you without the gleam of lost potential

I realize how twisted it is the way you use your intelligence

you are your grandfather's son

I am my granddaughter's daughter

your family raised poodles and mine raised dobermans

the winner of that area is pretty easy to predict

to think you can use the same shit you tore holes in me with

and somehow walk away unscathed after using

my dignity as something to walk all over with muddy shoes

and never once thinking to clean up after yourself

maybe your mother can actually teach you life skills

she seemed to have forgotten to while she was catering

constantly to your critical deaf dad who didn't learn

sign language so he didn't have to see what his neglect did

at least she could lash out at me like I was the problem

it's okay because being a scapegoat to a dysfunctional family

is exactly how I was brought up to be treated

I didn't know how to surround myself with people

who encourage me and show me an honest but positive mirror

but I'm learning how to do that now

I will not regress or pull up my drawbridge

when I feel like clawing my skin off and shutting everything down

I will commit more to my personal power

I will release my shame and release my fear daily

I took on a helluva lot from you

and now you can fucking have it back

I now have as much concern for your reputation

and the exposure of your flaws and faults

as you seemed to have for mine last summer

when you triangulated everyone you knew against me

just so you could feel like you were justified in your actions

the betrayal doesn't hurt anymore but it used to

after a couple days of solitude I am very aware of what I'm losing

and the liberty feels like the sky is brand fucking new

one of us is a very unreliable narrator

one of us is insulted when our behaviors are described objectively

one of us wouldn't know the definition of responsibility

if it didn't mean just having to get dressed and walk into an office

the queen can move everywhere on the board

you tend to move more like a pawn

so uncalculated and never thinking about your opponent

or the future and how it will all end up playing out

in fact, you only listened to me for something to use

to try and undermine me later with

and I fell for it because I trusted you

then I wanted to trust you to keep my kid in my life full time

and now I want this all to be over so I only have to deal with you

in texts that I get to decide when to answer to

which will be a real problem for you because incompetent urgency

seems to be your favorite language

when really it's a symptom of all things you're going to learn

and it's going to be very very painful for you

and it's nice knowing I don't have to be there for you

I blew up that ship like Iris in the Aenaeid

you still think of our relationship and the space we shared

as a place where you got to grow and be seen

I think of the space we share like a pool of acid

that I could only escape by singing in the shower

all diamonds are made with impossible pressure

and I'm glad I used it to hone some talents

you killed the woman you married and I burned her body

you look me in my eyes and see a person who no longer exists

that's really going to bite you in the ass

and while you're running around squealing

please pause just long enough to see me

press my fingertips to my lips and and then wave goodbye

as everything around us explodes

I'm not worried because I'm fireproof

and you made sure I have nothing to lose

[archived-kin]

genshin modern au cheat sheet

i’m planning to do more pieces set in this au, so i’ve put together a quick list of the characters i'm planning to write about/include!

there are three main groups here - the zhao family, the ragnvindr family and friends, and the Miscellaneous Pals™

(the next volume in this au is going to be a xiao piece, and that should be up within the next two or so days!)

1. the zhao family

zhongli, 36: history professor at the local uni who also plays the guzheng very well, tea-enjoyer, a very proud and supportive dad who loves his kids more than anything in the universe - probably unironically has so many pictures of them in his wallet

xiao, 23: taking a degree in psychology at the local uni, has a cool motorbike, bit of a control freak, doesn’t like surprises, will drop-kick you if you look at him or his sister funny, wants a cat but his dad’s allergic, never really grew out of his emo phase

yanfei, 19: baby of the family, prodigy lawyer-in-training, far smarter than many people give her credit for, likes building snowmen, has to protect her unsuspecting dad from Evil Salespeople looking to make some extra money

xiao and yanfei are biological siblings, and zhongli adopted them when xiao was 11 and yanfei was 7. the circumstances of this adoption is a mystery that none of the zhao family members seem willing to divulge…

the zhao siblings can have a little bit of tragic backstory. as a treat.

basically they were born into poverty and often went hungry for days on end. biological parents were distant and neglecting (though not actually physically/emotionally abusive - yet.)

when xiao was caught shoplifting bread and fruit from a local grocery store so that he and yanfei could actually eat, both parents went ballistic and kicked him out the house in the middle of one of the coldest winters the town had seen

poor kid was practically freezing to death out there, and yanfei raised such a fuss back in the house that mum slapped her square in the face to get her to shut up, which xiao saw through the window, and he promptly decided that he Was Not Putting Up With This Shit for any longer

immediately went to a neighbour’s house and told them what was going on, neighbours promptly called cps, and an investigation was launched

parents were deemed unsuitable for raising kids and (after a lot of back and forth) the two kids were taken into care

meanwhile zhongli was kind of sad because he had no friends or family in this town and all he really did was write articles, read books, and mark work

then one of his co-workers mentioned hearing about xiao and yanfei’s story and it hit zhongli so hard that he immediately rang up the adoption centre and ended up taking them in

and from then on both yanfei and xiao were very happy and healthy because zhongli was literally the best dad ever and put everything into taking care of them

2. the ragnvindr family (+ friends)

diluc, 29: budding businessman who still works at his dad’s cafe but is looking to open up his own company some time soon, still buys himself juice in those little cartons with the straws, still doesn’t know how raising bread works?? how does it get bigger???

diona, 7: diluc’s adopted daughter who has her father firmly under her thumb, bit of a spitfire but can also be the sweetest kid ever, enjoys making ‘potions’ out of grass and flowers and water (diluc can and will actually drink these potions because his love for his daughter knows no bounds)

kaeya, 25: diluc’s idiot little brother who’s changed majors at least five times and still doesn’t really know what he wants to do, practises fencing and horse riding in his spare time like a nerd, spoils his niece rotten

lisa, 26: the first of kaeya’s three roommates, has a degree in english and could easily have gone on to become a leading scholar but chose to instead open a bookshop that gets way more business than expected because she’s pretty and men and women alike are all simps

albedo, 23: the second of kaeya’s roommates, bit of a genius, has already started his chemistry phd, is almost concerningly pale and exhausted at all times, has not gone a day without breaking one of the cups for at least two years

venti, 21: the third of kaeya’s roommates, studying music, acts way older than he is sometimes but is mostly just a child, asks at least one of his roommates to marry him every day without fail, was and still is both a music and a theatre kid

lisa’s actually the one who owns the roommates’ residence because it’s on top of her bookshop

i was going to keep the whole ragnvindr family trauma thing but i decided that diluc deserved to be happy in at least one au so the brothers are still happy brothers :D

unfortunately that means that i’ve transferred a lot of the family trauma over to diona

essentially her mother died when she was a baby and her father, draff, turned to alcohol to get him through the stress of raising a child alone. unfortunately this led to him drunk driving one day, and he crashed the car into one of the wall’s of diluc’s dad’s cafe.

draff died on impact since he was in the front seat, but three-year-old diona managed to pull through despite her injuries. one thing led to another, diluc ended up taking care of her for a bit while the authorities sorted the whole thing out, but then he got too attached and decided to adopt her permanently

now diona has a dad, three uncles and an aunt who are all willing to shower her with all the love she deserves :’)))))

3. the Miscellaneous Pals™:

xiangling, xingqiu, chongyun, 17: local high school kids, they’re all kind of dating each other, low-key got adopted by xiao at one point, guoba is xiangling’s guinea pig and they all have joint custody over him

barbara, bennett, razor, 17: also local high school kids, also kind of all dating each other (but a lot more tentatively), regulars at diluc’s cafe, almost never seen apart

lumine, aether, ??: they keep showing up here and there around town to climb a tree and just sit there throwing leaves at people on the streets, then disappear. no one knows who the fuck they are

tartaglia, 23: nicknamed childe by his friends, also known as Mr Moneybags, is always just hanging around the local uni campus but doesn’t actually study anything there. his real name is ajax, but he thought that was lame so he gave himself a cool new one

eula, 24: new teacher at the local high school, her father used to be headmaster and was notoriously cruel to his students so everyone’s kind of wary of her, but she’s just really sweet and wants the best for her pupils :(((

amber, 21: number one eula defender, teaches the younger kids at the local primary, likes bunsen burners a little bit too much, still can’t remember how to spell the word necessary

hu tao, 25?: shady local mortician who may or may not practise illegal things, was kind of dating yanfei at some point but zhongli sent her packing as soon as he realised who she was, no one knows what her deal is

xiangling’s already a budding master chef and has received several offers from culinary schools, xingqiu is planning to study literature/language at uni but also might just go straight to trying to get a book published, chongyun is going to continue the family tradition of studying the supernatural with maybe a side job at xiangling’s future restaurant so that he doesn’t end up with no money if he doesn’t get any supernatural work

barbara is planning to go to medical school and also sings/dances in her spare time, bennett still doesn’t know what he wants to do but is considering carpentry among other things, and razor is dead-set on working at either a zoo or an animal shelter when he’s older

tartaglia never leaves the house without at least three pocket knives and a water pistol. he’s never had to use them yet, but you never know...

eula and amber live together and are probably dating but they’ll both just dodge the question if you ask them about it

they’re most definitely together though because on eula’s birthday amber brought her entire class of little kids to say happy birthday and bring her flowers

(incidentally amber is diona’s teacher)

[home-sweet-hive]

A Secretive Reunion

Chapter 1 - One Night's Enough

Written by Ash Rose

CW/TW: Swearing, Discussion of Workplace Discrimination

Summary:

With Doctor Eggman's latest scheme to take over the world seeming to be actually successful for once, the Freedom Fighters have sent out a request to make a temporary merger with their allies The Chaotix and GUN's Team Dark to create "The Resistance". But the night before Rouge and Shadow of Team Dark are to depart to The Resistance HQ in Knothole, Shadow is met by a sudden, yet familiar visitor. The meeting, which no one but Shadow and the visitor know of, spawns a secret plan that could very easily make the job of taking Eggman down much easier, but could just as easily cause irreversible damage to the reputation of Shadow and The Resistance as a whole if uncovered...

Notes:

This chapter features some lyrics from the songs "Pain" and "On My Own" by Three Days Grace!

This fanfic uses she/they pronouns for Shadow and depicts her as a trans girl, as well as using they/them pronouns for Eclipse, Tails & Sonic

Use that info however you please! :]

As night faded in, about a dozen cars drove through the streets of Station Square. The street lights illuminating as they passed by, blocking out any chance the stars could have to offer their natural light onto an ungrateful world.

Such words of malice upon human behavior were scripted into a journal in a song-like array, in a haphazard melody improvised by the mind of one mere hedgehog-like alien creature. Like the being's own mobian-esque exterior, the covers of the journal hid a gruesome inside, melancholic sonnets of misery, coated in hatred and violence. If anyone other than Shadow themself were to see the things written within, there's no doubt that her livelihood and even her life itself would be called into jeopardy.

The piece, tonight, was lacking inspiration. Not that such a thing mattered much, as it was not like Shadow would be performing these anywhere, as even lyrics aside, their skills on guitar are elementary at best, but regardless, the drive simply was not there. Accepting such, Shadow put down the pen and closed the journal, tucking both items neatly back into their hiding spots, and instead powered on her CD player.

As she prepared for a night alone listening to music other people had made, Shadow noticed a pile of clothing stacked on top of an untouched bed. Figuring that Rouge must have dropped them off before leaving with the rest for the GUN company dinner, they diligently began to sort the clothes into smaller piles.

Suddenly, however, Shadow laid eyes upon a small plastic shopping bag that had been snuck into the pile, coming packaged with a small note attached.

"Hey Shadow,

I finally got around to giving my closet a good cleaning, so here's those padded bras of mine I said I'd let you have. (They're washed! Don't worry!!)

I hope you enjoy them! I can't wait to see what kind of punk girl looks you can pull off with them!

I'm so proud of you Shadow, you're the coolest girl I've ever met. (I'm a close second, though! ;) )

Sincerely, your bestie Rouge. <3"

Shadow teared up as she read the note, feeling the rare sense of being truly, authentically loved by someone, and wore a smile on their face as they opened up the bag and picked out one of the bras.But her smile quickly faded as they failed to get it on, struggling to reach behind their back to secure the clip. Each and every bra was like this, so Shadow was forced to admit defeat, and set them all aside for Rouge to help with when she returns.

As the music played on, and as Shadow sorted her clothes, putting together various outfits, they started to sing along to the song, feeling the lyrics stab into her with such accuracy to their woes, and yet, the metaphorical knife in which emotionally pierced Shadow's heart felt warm and oddly comforting. Shadow knew she must've listened to this album at least a thousand times, and this specific song a thousand more, but as the chorus began to play, Shadow belted along in solidarity the same as they always did, as the lyrics echoed true to her very soul.

"Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all~!"

Soon discarding the chore entirely with reckless abandonment, Shadow grabbed whatever microphone-like object was closest and began to put on an entire performance for no one but herself.

But as the bridge of the song kicked into gear, a feeling of uneasiness collided into Shadow. Was it their voice? It was indeed at times a trigger for her gender dysphoria. Shadow decided to stop singing as to let these feelings subside.

But despite this, she still heard a voice sing, and it wasn't just the vocals on the track.

It was then that it hit her. Without even turning down the music, they turned to the doorway with fervent anger, yelling out the name of the one who had infiltrated GUN'S headquarters.

"Eclipse?!"

"Shadow, it's been awhile." The villainous alien said calmly in response.

"What the hell are YOU doing here?!" Shadow continued to shout.

"I heard you'd be alone for tonight, and I thought I'd offer up my company~!" Eclipse as well kept their tone of voice, being unbothered by Shadow's rage.

"I-!!" Shadow attempted to argue back, but quickly she realized she could not keep up such fury for much longer, "- ... Were you... singing along?" They instead asked.

"Yes! I hope that wasn't much a bother for you. You listen to that song so much that I've become completely hooked on it myself!" Eclipse answered sincerely. They could tell that Shadow was dumbfounded by such a response, so they opted to clarify, "The music you listen to acts quite similarly to the thoughts you have, it travels all across the hivemind."

"... Huh." Shadow muttered, before sitting herself upon the bed, feeling worn down by this development. Eclipse welcomed themself into the room and sat beside her, and started to look around the bedroom.

Posters plastered about the velvety maroon walls with images varying from a variety of band photos to tapestries dedicated to various different series of anime. Random items of interest from the missions Shadow had gone on throughout the years on high up shelves. A bookshelf filled not with books, but with cases upon cases of video games and music CDs, with a 1990s television and various game consoles placed on top. Dark curtains drapped over the windows, blocking out whatever light tries to shine through it's way. A drawer with several of it's components left open, revealing themselves to be oddly empty, as the mirror placed upon the drawer glimmered without a single spot of imperfection, and lastly, a cardbord box filled with stuffed animals and blankets. It was all quite ordinary, and yet, came together to be, without a single doubt, the perfect living quarters for someone like Shadow.

"I had gotten a decent idea of this place from the hivemind... but it's still quite the experience to see it in person..." Eclipse noted, mouth agape with awe, "I like it." They added, noticing the lack of acknowledgement from Shadow.

"Uhm... Th-Thanks..?" She answered reluctantly, "But you're not supposed to be here." They added bluntly.

"Do you not think I'm aware of that? Rules are meant to be broken, sister." Eclipse responded without hesitancy. Sister... such a word made Shadow feel euphoria rush through her whole body.

"... You know, too?" Shadow inquired, becoming captivated by her own happiness.

"Of course I do." Eclipse replied simply, loving the treat of getting to feel Shadow’s joy.

"... Guess there is an advantage to this whole... "hivemind" thing, afterall." Shadow said with a slight chuckle.

"An advantage that doesn't help you eradicate your own people, too! Who would've thought!" Eclipse added sarcastically, some pent up feelings of betrayal leaking into their words. Eclipse immediately wished they could take those words back as they felt and saw the happiness from Shadow fade, but the only thing they could do now was to apologize, "S-sorry, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear your apology." Shadow croaked.

"But-"

"Your apology is unneeded. I know what I've done." Shadow added, her body shivering.

The two did not speak again for a few minutes, letting the music playing from Shadow's CD player be the only noise made. But eventually, Eclipse began to sing along to one of the songs as it played.

"Standing on my own, remembering the one I left at home~"

Shadow couldn't help but succumb to the urge to join in, to which Eclipse responded with by lowering their own voice, giving her the floor.

"Forget about the life I used to know~"

But then Eclipse joined back in, the two dueting with each other, an action that was intentional this time around.

"Forget about the one I left at home~"

"So, now-"

"I'm standing here alone~"

"I'm learning how to live life on my own~"

Exchanging lyrics back and forth, the two sung with passion as they felt themselves becoming closer with one another.

Song after song, the album carried on as they became more comfortable, grinning with dorky excitement as they learned to enjoy each other's company.

But this fun-filled karaoke night couldn't last forever, as it wasn't long until the end of the album was reached. Shadow was tempted to rewind the CD to the beginning, to simply give the same experience another go, not unlike how she often wished to relive the few hours they got to spend among the Black Arms troops on the New Black Comet. But they had a different idea in mind.

But before she could act upon that idea, Eclipse looked over to the small pile of neglected bras, and picked one of them up.

"This article of clothing looks... impractical for one to put on alone." They mumbled.

"Oh, I'm waiting for Rouge to get back to help me get it on..." Shadow replied.

"But why wait for her? I understand thinking that way when you thought you were alone, but you have me here now." Eclipse said, turning to Shadow as they vaguely hinted towards a suggestion.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Shadow turned down the offer quite bluntly.

"Why not, hmm?" Eclipse queried.

"I don't like my chest and I don't like showing it to people I'm not close to, alright!" Shadow snapped.

Eclipse stood silently for a moment, and then looked away and sighed.

"Understood... m-my apologies..." Spoken in a tone of such regret, it rippled through Shadow without a single break between waves of pain.

"Seriously, stop being so nice to me." She immediately protested.

"Why shouldn't I? You're my sister in arms! You deserve-" Eclipse began to argue back, but Shadow stopped them.

"I don't deserve shit! Not even the title of 'sister'! I've caused so much hurt to the Black Arms, and you acting rude to me at least gives me some sort of false sense of justification for it all!" They suddenly yelled out, causing Eclipse to bump into the bookshelf of anything but books, all except for one book that Eclipse hadn't seen before, which fell to the ground.

"Oh dear! I'll get that for you-" Eclipse offered as they went to pick up the book, but Shadow intercepted them and grabbed the book herself, begging them to not touch it through panicked mumblings. After a moment of silence, Eclipse spoke again, "I sense that there's something quite personal in that book... no?"

Shadow shivered at such a question, but then took a long, drought out breath through gritted teeth.

"I... I don't feel welcome in humanity anymore..." She nervously admitted, "B-before we crashed the New Black Comet, the Commander called me out by name... T-to explain what I info I may have had about it... Everyone was... s-staring at me... They all looked at me like I was s-some kind of... F-freak of nature...!!" They continued, tears starting to form in her eyes, "That... that was the subject of my very first entry into this journal..." She put the journal in question into Eclipse's line of sight, "A song of how I felt so isolated that night..."

"A song?" Eclipse inquired.

"I-It isn't really that good... I'm no professional..." Shadow clarified, giving a soft chuckle.

"Still, that's something that takes quite a lot of creativity. I... admittedly never quite expected such a thing from you." Eclipse continued, "I haven't gotten the chance to just... talk with you, to exist with you, ever since the whole... New Black Comet thing. I haven't gotten to chance to learn about you, beyond what I had known from the masters." They got closer to Shadow, taking hold of one of her hands, "I'm very grateful that I've finally got the chance to do so tonight." Eclipse smiled as they completed their statement, but Shadow only started to tear up even more and pulled away from her brethren's grasp.

"But I stayed in this hell because I was convinced that the Black Arms hated me and wanted me dead for what I had done to them! A-and I was right, too! They all hated me! ... E-Except for you..." Shadow lamented, turning back to Eclipse, "You were so... Desperate to convert me...! I... I hated it! But... I loved it, too... I... Y-you believed in me... You still loved me... Even after all that I did, even though you were CREATED TO KILL ME! It... it was a warmth that hurt me so... like a fire..." Shadow wiped the tears from their eyes, "When we met again on Angel Island, it had seemed that your sympathy had ran it's limit... that you had finally given up on me... It hurt, if I'm honest, but... At least I had my only excuse back-" Shadow continued on, being interrupted by a hug from Eclipse.

"I'll admit, I had my doubts... I let my anger consume me... But I could still feel your anguish... Those songs in your journal echoed through our souls... I knew that hope was not lost just yet... I'm sorry that you had ever believed that I had ever given up on you, sister..."

"... But what am I to do now? There's no one left but us...." Shadow asked.

"That's what you thought when you had slain Black Doom, and look what happened after!" Eclipse responded.

"... I wish I could have your sheer level of optimism, Eclipse." Shadow sighed, finally putting the journal back in it's spot.

"You never know, sister. Though, even if you are right, and we are the last of the Black Arms... We could start again!"

"And how would that go about?" Shadow scoffed.

"... I know you believe it is hopeless... that you are to be forever trapped in GUN's command... But would you for once hear me out? I'm only trying to help you!" Eclipse begged.

"Look, you don't understand, Eclipse! There's just not enough time! Even if we tried to start some sort of restoration tonight, it would all go to waste!" Shadow shouted, leaving Eclipse dumbfounded.

"... You're right, Shadow. I don't understand. Could you explain to me why you believe that nothing can be done to restore our relationship and species?" They asked calmly.

"Rouge and I are traveling out to Knothole tomorrow. The Doctor has launched yet another world domination plan... which usually wouldn't be that much of a concern, but things are going... differently than usual." Shadow began to explain.

"How so?"

"Sonic had a battle with a new foe employed by The Doctor a few weeks ago... They were defeated in the fight, and taken captivate. Because of this, the Freedom Fighters have surmised that they can no longer handle The Doctor's forces on their own, and have requested assistance from the Chaotix and Team Dark... and the Team Dark part includes me."

"Oh... wait, you said you and Rouge were going. What of Omega?"

"Omega is already at Knothole, he attempted to face off The Doctor's forces on his own and got his ass handed to him. Tails is repairing him."

"... You're throwing around quite a few names I don't know, but I think I understand now." Eclipse said, nodding.

"Yeah... sorry, 'Clip... I really am..." Shadow sighed, trying to prevent herself from getting too upset, "At least we have tonight. One night's enough to at least not have our story end on a bitter note..." They added, trying to be positive despite everything.

"... No. One night is not enough. Not for me." Eclipse protested, standing up to look out the windows of Shadow's room.

"Eclipse.... Please..."

"The Doctor you speak of, I believe I am somewhat aware of him. The grandson of Gerald Robotnik, who had turned his back on us and our Dark Lord in his final days. That Doctor carries on with such betrayal, attacking us when we attempted to conquer this planet. He will pay for these transgressions."

"Where are you going with this, exactly?"

"The Black Arms fight alongside one another as a union! If we are indeed the last ones, then it would be of the late masters' wishes for us to fight as a union as they once did! When you arrive to this 'Knothole' place, tell me through the hivemind. The Dark Arms and I will arrive at your location as soon as we can. You will not be able to recognize us by looks, but you will feel our presence. We will work together to bring about The Doctor's downfall!" Eclipse explained.

".... You came up with that quickly." Shadow said, stunned.

"I always have a trick up my sleeve, sister. I am almost constantly thinking ahead." Eclipse responded, smirking.

"You're the brains to my brawn, you could say." Shadow suggested, to which Eclipse scoffed.

"Oh please, you're plenty intelligent yourself. Don't sell yourself short Shadow, for we are both Ultimate Lifeforms!" They insisted, pulling Shadow into a side hug.

From outside, the sounds of parked cars began. A few dozen GUN agents began to pile out from their vehicles and started to enter the building.

"That's my signal to get going." Eclipse noted bluntly, to which Shadow agreed, "I for one was hoping to hear one of those songs of yours before I had to go, but alas."

"Maybe one day, 'Clip. But now you need to go." Shadow sputtered, being diligent in making sure all trace of Eclipse was gone before someone were to enter the room.

A few minutes after Eclipse had teleported away, Rouge entered the room with a takeout box of food in one of her hands.

"Heeey!! How was your evening home alone, hun?" She asked in that all too familiar sassy tone of hers.

"It was alright. I listened to some music, I... organized my clothes." It had just occurred to Shadow that she had forgotten to pack their stuff into her suitcase.

"I see, I see... Was kinda hopin' you were gonna say you like, had a friend over or somethin' like that..." Rouge admitted, sighing.

"Huh?! W-Why would you-" Shadow began to question in a panic.

"I dunno girl, I just wish you would be more social, I guess!"

"Anyway, what's that you have there?" Shadow inquired, pointing to the plastic tin as they changed the subject.

"Oh! I got you an order from the restaurant we went to! I hope that's cool with you." Rouge answered.

"Are you kidding?! Of course that's cool with me!! Fuck - I hadn't even realized I was starving!!" Shadow raved, rushing to grab the tin to see what was inside. It was a large bagel sandwich, split into two halves, with a side of salty french fries.

"Oh, also..." Rouge reached into her pocket and pulled out a can of ginger ale, "I know it's not that cold, but there's ice in the HQ's kitchen."

"Th-thank you!" Shadow gushed, her tail wagging.

"By the way, how'd those bras treat ya?" Rouge queried.

"I couldn't get any of them on... could you uh... lend a hand?" Shadow mumbled, embarrassed.

"Shit, hun! Of course! Big sis Rouge will help ya with any of your girl needs!" Rouge declared with a chuckle.

The Next Day

Amy and Knuckles were making one last assessment around the base of the newly established "Resistance", making sure that everyone from all three groups coming together were in attendance, when they heard a knock at their door.

"Ah, are you lost? You really shouldn't be here-" Amy said as she opened the door, not wanting to endanger any civilians.

"Is this the HQ of the Resistance?" The stranger asked quite bluntly, and yet, politely.

"Y-Yes. Why do you ask?" Amy answered hesitantly.

"I'd like to help you all with defeating The Doctor."

"We aren't taking recruits, buddy! Besides, you could just be one of Eggman's robots trying to infiltrate!" Knuckles yelled harshly.

"Hold on!" Amy protested, " 'The Doctor'? Are you friends with Shadow by chance? They're the only person I've ever heard call Eggman that before!" Amy inquired.

"Indeed I am! You could go find her right now and I know she'd tell you the same!" The stranger testified, "By the way, you may call me Rookie, Rookie the Hedgehog. They/them pronouns."

"If you say so, Rookie!" Amy agreed, before walking off to go find Shadow. "Rookie" followed behind, doing their best to ignore the eye roll Knuckles gave.

Amy and "Rookie" eventually found Shadow, and she backed up "Rookie's" story, just as they said she would. Feeling content, Amy decided to approve "Rookie" joining the Resistance, amd Knuckles reluctantly signed off on the order as well.

"You should go meet up with Tails some time today, Rookie! I couldn't help but notice that you've brought some wisps with you, and they've been working on some type of arsenal that utilizes their power! I think it's called a "Wispon"? I'm not good with that kind of stuff!" Amy suggested to "Rookie" before she took off to attend to other matters.

"Fascinating! I'll be sure to meet up with them as soon as I find the time!" "Rookie" responded, intrigued.

Shadow smiled and chuckled slightly as they watched Amy hurry off.

"I'll admit, I'm surprised that worked." Shadow said telepathically.

"But I'm glad it did. I'm sure things would have quickly devolved into pointless fighting if I attempted to offer my assistance without this "Rookie" disguise." Eclipse responded, speaking telepathically as well, "I will not allow anyone to get in the way of fighting alongside my sister in arms, nor will I allow anyone to stop us from getting the vengeance against the Robotnik family that we deserve!"

"Yes, yes, of course." Shadow snickered, "But you... ARE excluding Maria from that, right?"

"Mhm. Maria was the exception, not the rule. You've said that she wanted this world to be a happy one, no? The Doctor's goals are in clear opposition to this wish." Eclipse explained, to which Shadow nodded.

"You're going down, Doctor!"

[ermine-57047]

THICKETY MUTUAL NUMBER 1 SAME FOR YOU YOU ANSWER WHATEVEE YIU LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT CHOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1.what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Fining out and coming to terms with the fact that I'm not cis, het, or nt

2.show us a picture of your handwriting?

It's okay, but far from neat.

3.3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

A) The Princess Bride

B) Encanto

C) Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

4.what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

"I'M GONNA EAT A CANDLE!"

5.what made you start your blog?

Watched a bit too much PMSeymour :›

6.what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

Trying not to stumble into discourse

7.what scares you the most and why?

My loved ones leaving/hating me. I get very emotionally attached to people so if that were to happen it would be like having a nerve severed.

8.any reacquiring dreams?

No, I don't often dream.

9.tell a story about your childhood

One time I was hanging out with my cousins and I accidentally said something that hurt Cousin A's feelings. Her younger brother said I wasn't their cousin anymore and I cried lol.

10.would you say you’re an emotional person?

YES.

11.what do you consider to be romance?

Two people who are romantically attracted to each other.

12.what’s some good advice you want to share?

That when it comes to anything in life, it's only your first time once. Props to my awesome aunt who came up w/ that.

13.what are you doing right now?

Typing on my phone with my tablet laptop open in front of me with no windows open on it.

14.what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Paragliding.

15.what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

Warmth. My favorite people. A cozy house in a small mountain village. A place where everyone is accepting and friendly. Cuddles. Music. Singing. Baking food. A feeling of true belonging. A place that is not where I currently am. Rainclouds.

16.if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I want a deeper voice. Not too much deeper, I just wanna be able to reach those few low notes in the songs I like :3. Contralto voice range.

17.name 3 things that make you happy

A) My partner❤❤❤

B) Making some sort of music, whether it's singing or messing around on my various instruments!

C) My bestie @voidgremlin2electricboogaloo 💛💛💛❤❤❤

18.do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

I'm impartial to the belief in such things.

19.favourite thing about the day?

Blue hour. When the sun has gone over the horizon and cast a soothing blue light on everything.

20.favourite things about the night?

Moon n stars n planets.

21.are you a spiritual person?

Not really.

22.say 3 things about someone you love

A) You have pretty eyes

B) You are one of the best things that's happened to me

C) P..Pwetty person,,,

23.say 3 things about someone you hate

(I do not really hate anyone so i just generally dislike them)

A) You're a goddamn coward

B) You're a f*cking liar

C) Please continue to leave [irl friend] the hell alone

24.what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

Becoming more confident in myself, also my improvement when it comes to my handwriting

25.fave season and why?

Fall. I love cloudyrainy days

26.fave colour and why?

I like dark teal/turquoise. Cool colors beloved.

27.any nicknames?

Rainy! I really like being called Rainy!!!

28.do you collect anything?

Aluminum can tabs :)

29.what do you do when you’re sad?

Sing, talk to my partner/friends, and watch my fav media!

30.what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

My fav people giving me affection and support, or just them in general

31.are you messy or organised?

M E S S Y

32.how many tabs do you have open right now?

I'm on my phone rn and tumblr is the only app that is open rn.

33.any hobbies?

Guitar, Volleyball, Photography

34.any pet peeves?

When people pronounce the "ing" in a word like "een". Drives me up the frickin wallhhh. Also people saying caramel like "carmul". Thats. Thats an entirely different word. Please.

35.do you trust easily?

Yes, for the most part, unfortunately ;_;.

36.are you an open book or do you have walls up?

I am in a lot of cases an open book.

37.share a secret

A person i knew in third grade had to move to our school bc her dad's identity was stolen

38.fave song at the moment?

There are multiple.

1) Reckless Battery Burns-Ghost and Pals

2) Arbitrary Sermon-Monstrosity

3) Happy Days-Ghost and Pals

39.youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Not really anyone. I do enjoy Wendigoon's content though because his voice is nice to listen to and he covers interesting topics.

40.any bad habits?

There are many.

A) Picking at my acne

B) Staying up later than I should

C) Saying I forgot to do something I didn't have enough executive function to do(well this one is kinda justified bc my mom is,,, difficult, when it comes to me Not Being Able To Do Things Because Of Executive Dysfunction. She can't really seem to understand that I'm unable to just "buckle down" and do something i don't have the exec function spoons to do.s o- i do it because of that)

[spacebookettes]

Unstable Lady

Retirement homes are better now. Now the robots assist. Endless Gaga dancing queens, the robots keep the people young.

Unstable Lady had trouble getting about, the Walky Walky electronic leg braces kept her independent. Though hers had little bells on. Tinkling little sounds could be heard slowly moving around the Home. The tinkling little sound meant you had to be alert, if you didn’t want to succumb. In the office the assistants heard the familiar tinkling and all looked around. The tinkling stopped and someone had not come into view. The faces looked at each other and sighed a little. An assistant went to look. Nothing. No one in the corridor. The air ducting above them creaked. The assistant got the ladders, popped the vent door in the ducting and had a look. Nothing. Their head torch only saw emptiness. They heard a little tinkling below them. The assistant climbed down. Nothing.

At lunch the robots brought around the various delights. The assistants kept looking over to Unstable Lady. She ate alone, with her back to everyone. An occasional tinkling took attentions away from their food.

As the Unstable Lady walked away from the luncheon. She glanced at the little dents, burn marks and splatterings that littered the bright hallways and corridors. Each a little shrine to past ‘achievements’. They had taken Unstable Lady's possessions, her little toolbox and assortment of gizmos, bits of string, old tubing that sort of thing. Younger she had collected all kinds of useful objects. Only a few left hidden.

A piece of funneled plastic was one of them. She liked to use it to project little tinklings around corners. Unstable Lady kept fruit stalks she could still expertly curve through the air. Some of the people believed the home was infested. Only some of the people. No longer any salt pots or little sachets. Balls weren’t allowed anymore, POP. The robots had been replaced with more robust ones... these still had some ‘achievements.'

Unstable Lady was miserable. She snapped a giant glow stick and shoved it up her nose. A robot hand retrieved it and patted Unstable Lady on the head.

Unstable Lady had a few regrets in her cruelty.. even for her she felt she had gone too far on occasion. The pangs of regret stayed with her.

Unstable Lady had resisted all taming medication. They’d tried the lot as well. “is she psychotic”

Someone played Rammstein in their room. Wild tinkling.

The End

By Peter Stringer

Rasputin

 

Rasputin is still alive they say. He is and he lives in Cheshire, for the cheese.

He seems to have made himself immortal somehow accidentally.

“You’re intolerant to dairy"

‘MILK, I made myself invulnerable to all toxins’

“yes, but, I’m afraid your bowel can’t tolerate dairy anymore... you’ll  be fine if you switch to soya milk... organic soya milk, no horrible GMOs... massive amounts of gmo pollen, humanity had no business introducing into an already strained earthly eco system.”

The doctor started to leave, she looked back... “at least the native people’s investment in green technology saved the day, the fidget droids and such. No need for chemicals now.”

She looked back a second time... “of course they’ve got the nukes now.”

 

By Peter Stringer

 

Space girls

A mission to Pluto. A mission that goes missing some where around the orbit of Jupiter.

“Where are we” all the shuttles systems were black, no light anywhere. “Is everyone ok" the five space girls all checked in. The lights and flashing buttons of the shuttle all came back to life. The space girls all looked out of the command module windows. Total blackness. No stars.

A globule of liquid moved slowly across the windows. The Space Girls all got close to the window to watch. They were reflected in the liquid ball. The reflections winked back. The Space Girls all drew backwards shocked inhaling. They all watched the liquid disappear beyond the window. “check all the instruments for position and orientation” one of them checked and rechecked their control panel. Nothing. No readings. “try the thrusters". one of them flipped the relevant switches. No inertia. The thrusters worked, there was just no apparent movement. The command module stopped shaking as the Space Girl flipped back the switches. One of the Space Girls dropped to the floor, dead.

The four Space Girls had checked the whole shuttle craft. They tried every piece of scientific equipment on board to see if they could learn just anything. Nothing. They ate some of the nourishing space goo packets. It was tasteless. They had enough food and water for months.

The four Space Girls sat for hours losing track of all space and time. The command module was silent. Someone was keeping an eye on the windows for signs of anything. A space walk, all that was left.

The short straw suited up. They glanced and stared at the logo of the Space Girl Missions; it’s looping white rings and central flashing green star. The symbol she had been so proud to be representing. Next to it a sponsor advertisement for Red Space Dew. Had it always been the sponsor; an anti deja vu came over her. The trivial advertisment seemed alien to her, new. Had it always been there.

The hatch doors silently opened. The Space Girl looked out into the blackness. A gloved hand reached out beyond the hatch doors. Nothing. Nothing changed. She shifted her body closer to the void. A space boot stepped out onto the hull of the space shuttle. She wasn’t floating, there was gravity. It felt like Earth gravity. Space Girl slipped falling along around the hull of the shuttle. Falling around it’s gravity. The only gravity in existence was the ship. She kept falling. External equipment broke off of the hull and joined Space Girl falling around and around. She looked desperately for the hatch opening. It’s central to the science module next to the spectrum sensors; they had broken off and were clattering somewhere near her. “ok" she shuffled her suited body to a central pathway on the module. Wildly trying for anything that felt like a gap. Something hooked around space girls arm. An antenna or some broken attachment and she jolted to a stop. Half a leg inside the hatchway.

Back on the ship Short Straw told them there was nothing in existence out there. Only them and the shuttle. Someone inhaled quickly and pointed toward the hatch window. A globule of liquid slowly floated across. They dare not look too closely.

The clattering equipment falling around the outside of the space shuttle was constant. The four Space Girls all had noise cancelling headsets on.

The solar interweb was offline. No connection to Earth. No SpaceTube. No SpaceGram. No SpaceTweet. Everything on the solar cloud, so no music. No pics. No video. Through the weeks the Space Girls got to know each other over the microphones of the headsets. Each sentence spoken with an obnoxious background clattering. Short Straw, they decided was the luckiest, even with her outside encounter.

Weeks later. They had tried the thrusters in all directions, full thrust. Full thrust for days. Random thruster directions. Spinning thrusters. Sudden reverse thrusters. Nothing. All signals had been sent out into the void.

They were putting on a play. Each Space Girl had to create her own comedy show. Once a week. One of them was impersonating some future celebrity to roaring laughter, at the front of the command module. The laughter stopped, a massive sphere of liquid undulated across the windows. The back of the impersonator reflected. The reflection dropped to the floor. The impersonator didn’t; she dare not move looking behind her at the three other faces and no reflection of herself. The liquid disappeared beyond the window.

Two days later the void was full of liquid globules. Giant and small. All manner of winkings and death scenes was being reflected back at the four Space Girls. They moved to a part of the shuttle with no windows.

The Space Girls didn’t want to put on anymore stand-up. The things they’d seen reflected back from the void would finish most people. They had rationed the food so far over the weeks. The Space Girls had a feast. Full bellies the ship started to shake. Short Straw got to the piloting controls first. Beyond the windows the liquid was swirling and merging, streaming in all directions. The shuttle had thrust. Short Straw could control the direction. The liquid was flying apart in all directions. A bright light was in front of them, growing bigger. Noise came from the cabin speakers. They took off their headsets to listen. ‘Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I work out, girl look at that body, girl look at that body, girl look at that body...I'm sexy and i know it'

Jupiter came into view. The liquid disappeared into the star studded space-scape. They all danced and sang with smiles and laughter. ‘wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah.

The End

By Peter Stringer

The Other Woman

“we should work on other projects”

The man’s words echoed around Wednesday.

They had been partners, co-workers. A small business of stories. The man had been emotionally disturbed at the beginning of both of their relationships. A man who made no sense, whirling away from functional adulthood. Bonsai trees helped. The Other Woman helped more.

The man loved his Significant Other. But perhaps two more, secret, partnerships and he knew the Other Woman would wait; very patiently... Almost.

He loved the nakedness, with both: he felt free. He only felt free clothed... with his Significant Other. He felt massive colleague respect for the Other Woman. Their first partnership had been cyber trees. The meeting of two non-professional minds. She good at the branches, he good at the leaves. They both knew they wanted nakedness. The first time next to the mulch. He knew the Other Woman would fall. He knew he could keep her... and he knew that made him rotten.

He thought the Other Woman was a thinker, she wanted to save the world and believed her little piece of it might. He too believed in her. But he was one of the monsters, he knew, she feared. If life were a film he would have slowly fallen in love with the Other Woman.

The man wanted to be king and felt a spark of it when he met the Other Woman. They were massively successful. She did the coding, he did the wiring. The Other Woman saved him, he knew she knew it.

He was in charge of the money, she was in charge of the lasers. That was his mistake.

He wasn't so rotten that he’d fiddle the money in his favour. In fact he did fiddle the money, fiddled himself in her favour. It helped with the knowledge that he’d always love the Significant Other. The man and the Other Woman worked hard, long into the night... there was so much to do. She came up with the bigger concepts, he ordered the equipment.

The Other Woman, he knew, her patience was running out.

He was the thinker, she was becoming a monster.

He had fiddled the finances, she had fiddled the equipment.

The End

By Peter Stringer

[crossroadsimagine]

Hii :3 May I have a match up, please? From BNHA, any gender. My sense of humour is subtle but dark and sarcastic,I enjoy teasing my friends and I'm the cold but "Chill Friend"since it takes long to get attached but I can easily detach myself from others who hurt me. I love reading,the sense of freedom,travelling,the ocean breeze,forest strolls on a chilly weather,hot chocolate,animals,video games,writing,fantasy books scented candles,lazy days when you can relax and listen to music. Thank you 💖

☰ Matched with Hitoshi Shinso

Hitoshi doesn’t show much of aninterest in you at first but the more he gets to know you he’ll become morecurious about you, putting in effort to get to know you better and spend moretime with you though it can be a few weeks or months before he actually shows aromantic interest in you and will actually ask you out, when he does ask youout it’s rather randomly and he doesn’t seem very nervous about it either infact he’s quite nonchalant about the whole thing.

 He does take the relationshipseriously and he genuinely does care about you though it can take him awhile totruly fall for you and really get attached to you, though you are the same wayand it can take you a long time to get attached but you can also detach fairlyquickly if you get hurt. 

You both can come across as rather cold or uncaring attimes but once he does warm up to you, he can act quite differently when he’sjust around you, showing a much more loving and considerate side. 

Your sense ofhumor is quite dark and sarcastic which he will find amusing especially if you’regiving someone a hard time or teasing someone, your sense of humor won’t botherhim one bit and likes it as long as it’s innocent teasing and joking around. 

Hecan be quite protective over you and quick to defend you from criticism or beingjudged, especially if it’s from family or friends but in general he’s verywatchful and protective over you. He keeps a close eye on you to keep you fromgetting hurt physically, emotionally or mentally, this can make him seem alittle nosey or possessive at times and even overly cautious about certainsituations or people, such as not liking you to hang out with certain people ifhe doesn’t trust them or doesn’t like how they treat you or act around you. 

Heshows a rather mild interest in your hobbies or what you’re doing but he doesremember a lot about you when you do talk about yourself, things like yourfavorite books, drinks, foods, places etc. He’s happier with more laid back activitiesand places rather than anything high energy and often let’s you choose what thetwo of you do for dates or how you spend time together, if you want to sightseeing,a walk on the beach or just stay home and listen to music or play video gameshe’s content with whatever you decide. 

He can have a hard time expressing hisfeelings verbally or physically, doesn’t mean he can’t but he has a hard timewith it, but he is a very good listener and will like to listen to you talk.Encouraging you to talk about your day or what’s on your mind and wanting youto be open with him, though he can be far more withdrawn and not exactly openabout talking about himself and can seem surprised if you point it out and kindof deflect questions about it. 

In time he will open up to you, but it canreally take him some time to feel comfortable enough to talk with you abouthimself and answer any questions you have. Once he does feel comfortable withyou he’s fairly open and loving towards you though he doesn’t really care forPDA he will come to like being affectionate with you when the two of you arealone, he does want the best for you and wants to stay with you and plans forthe relationship to be long term.

☰ Headcanons between you two

■Will tease you occasionally or give you a hard time depending on the situationbut usually only over small or unimportant things, such as your height or ifyou’re afraid of bugs or even if you tend to be rather clumsy but he’ll onlyjoke lightly with you never to the point that he could hurt your feelings.

■He can be very laid back towards ideas when it comes to dates and doesn’treally show much interest even when it comes to special occasions or holidayseither, he doesn’t really make a big deal out of things and isn’t very romanticeither, but he will still get you a present and such for special occasions likeyour birthday or holidays but he would rather you plan out what you want to do.

■Affectionate in rather subtle ways and initiates affectionate acts quietly andis never overbearing or forceful about it, sitting next to you and trying tohold your hand or put his arm around you, though he can become more blatantwith instigating things the longer the two of you are together.

■He can try and express his love for you with small gestures at times, trying tohold your hand or getting you gifts, he can be the same way when it comes tocomforting you at times as well especially if he doesn’t know what kind ofadvice to give you over a situation.

☰ Other possible matches

◐ Kyoka is rather calm and laid back notgetting too stressed in any situation and can find your sense of humor entertainingbecause it’s right up her alley, she can also be sarcastic and has a darkersense of humor than most. She absolutely adores music and will like lazingaround or cuddling with you and listening to music, she doesn’t really care togo out much but can enjoy a concert, festival or just going out to eatoccasionally. Though she’s perfectly content staying in or going out in nature ratherthan being out in a crowd somewhere, she likes cuddling but isn’t fond of it inpublic and can even become embarrassed by it.

◐ Shoto can come across as a bit distant, oblivious andshy at first because he will feel awkward being in a relationship, and can havea hard time reading a situation or knowing how to respond to you at times,especially because you do have a subtle but dark and sarcastic sense of humorthat he may not always understand or can become confused by, showing concernfor you when you’re just making a dark joke. He will enjoy spending time withyou and get more familiar with your sense of humor the longer the two of youare together, he likes relaxing with you and more laid-back activities or justspending time talking with you. He can be a bit oblivious to emotions or have ahard time being able to read the atmosphere or take hints.

[robomalus]

I'm in love with Sticks and Bowline!! Please tell me all about Sticks and Bowline? Oohh, like, what do they each like in a romantic partner (or are they aromantic)?

anOOOONNN encouraging my bad habit of never shutting up about my ocs lol

this got really fuckin long so i’m puttin it under a cut

so! where to begin. Sticks was originally named Praxis, they worked in one of the large archives on Iacon doing first just general desk and circulation work and eventually moving onto one of the archive’s big cultural preservation projects: finding/recording/archiving historical cybertronian music. (so yeah this means the old cybertronian yelling BUT also yanno, more recent-past things like folk songs, war hymns, etc) they were alive before the autobot/decepticon war really started and stayed at their job through its first few thousand years, eventually being essentially peer pressured into joining autobot ranks because every archivist was leaving to do so (figuring, depending on continuity of course, influence of either orion pax or alpha trion) 

the thing about being an archivist is that it was a very solitary job, they didn’t get much face-to-face on a daily basis even when people were going to the archives regularly, but especially once the war started, the buildings were just. barren. while they’re used to being alone, they’re very much a social person, which left very, very lonely. they’re one of those emotional creatives, deeply passionate, classically romantic, very eccentric.

Bowline meanwhile, also one who existed before the war, was a worker at the space docks on Luna 2. with such close proximity to travelers, she began to have some very radical ideas on how people had been living. her entire movement centered around the importance of self-actualization and self-definition in a society where you are told what to be. a large part of her ideas were involving gender. that you can take on a gender as a way to assert your selfhood apart from your alt-mode or social status. her views touched the large majority of the astro-dock workers, eventually creating a big enough problem to reach the senate’s attention. as a way to cut her platform, the senate ordered her to be subject to empurata, branding her as a criminal would undermine her movement in theory. during the process her brain was mishandled, which ended up destroying most of the connections to her nerves, as well as preventing her from properly experiencing emotions. (in other words, she can’t feel). with their leader lacking outward drive, passion, and a face, the movement broke up. she was eventually recruited by the decepticons.

flash forward, they both get dropped on Exolus-3, a planet whose entire surface is unforgiving sand and rock, due to an error on both sides that marked the planet as strategically significant. it was not. it was seeded with energon crystals some time ago but the project was abandoned due to the unforgiving conditions.

they quickly became what the other needed. Sticks craved companionship so, so deeply. while Bowline needed someone to take her seriously, and eventually realized that she, too needed someone to protect -the strongest feelings she has are in relation to others so she clings to those with all her strength. Bowline, due to her inability to feel pain, routinely wrecks herself. Sticks (eventually, not at the beginning) becomes the person to fix her up -the only person to be able to do so and the only person she unequivocally trusts. (notably the only one she’ll let near her helm). They are able to read each other remarkably well, better than anyone else in the Choir.

Sticks on the other hand, weak, emotionally-vulnerable, tortured ex-archivist that they are, sees Bowline’s staunch protection of them as an act of love and responds in kind. Bowline was Aromantic before her empurata and wouldn’t be able to recognize those feelings now even if she wasn’t. But this doesn’t mean her acts weren’t out of love. They weren’t- at first, rather from obligation or some deep unspoken desire to protect. But as they grew closer with each other as well as the rest of the Choir, her protection came to represent the way she could show her love. Conversely, Sticks is a highly romantic person (and demisexual), spends a lot of time finding a way to balance their needs with Bowline’s. it kinda works? They’re very attached but know Bowline, even though she is also very attached, does not feel the same flavor of love. 

Regardless they’re best friends on an extremely deep level. (QPPs in canon)

as for preferences, well Bowline’s aro, doesn’t feel the need for sex and wouldn’t even be able to find a suitable partner anyway (she’s. Big)

Sticks on the other hand is Pan/demi, but is otherwise so lonely they get ridiculously attached whenever someone shows some affection or care in their wellbeing. first it was Bowline, then Aphelion (who was. bad for them, but also appealed to their deeply romantic nature), and now in what i can only call pseudo-canon, they’re in an interesting/very good relationship with @bettsplendens‘s medic Forceps