#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[hollowtones]

ayy monhun fan! what are you thinkin of what we've seen of wilds so far?

The initial trailer they dropped months ago was pretty cool. "World" is my least favourite game that I've played (even thought I liked it a lot!!), and 90% of why I felt that way was "this is the first time they're making a game of this scale / scope / direction", so it's exciting to see them make a successor to it now that they're not also learning how to make a game like it from the bottom-up & not also building the tech side of it from scratch.

Big desert environments have me excited!!!! I love the way these games do deserts. I'm always dreaming of Val Habar. I love the colour palette they're using for this area. Big fan of Yoshi being a new mechanic. In general I'm noticing a lot of things in "Wilds" that feel like a really cool mix of ideas from "World" and "Rise" in a way that feels a little more grounded. It's cool that they're bringing back a buddy you can ride around on & control. I wonder if they'll let Yoshi fight with you. I don't remember if they showed that off already. Getting to hotswap between 2 weapons without having to run back to base camp feels like a big deal that I haven't really wrapped my head around yet.

The focus mode thing seems fine. More granular control over aiming sometimes seems neat, & the footage we've seen makes it feel like positioning & animation commitment are still a part of it, which I like. Expanding part-breaking into "opening wounds that take more damage & enable special attacks" seems cool! (There was a similar-ish tenderizing mechanic with the Clutch Claw in "Iceborne", and I fuckin hated using it. Loved the idea of it at first. Having to do this whole separate action that interrupted the flow of the fight in a weird way to enable more damage felt awful after a while!! And they designed all the fights around the fact that you have it & use it! So I'm glad they're seemingly taking what I liked about it & chucking out the rest, haha.) I remember there was some hubbub about focus existing at all when news was first dropping. Some people were mad about it? I feel like this happens every time they announce a new Monster Hunter. They reveal a new feature, and a couple guys crawl out of the woodwork to go "THEY HAVE MADE THE VIDEO GAME PITIFUL AND EASIER - THIS IS THE DEATH OF THE FRANCHISE!" The franchise has died every game since the first one, by my count. (They end up buying the game anyway, of course.) I hope they put out a demo soon, though. I wanna get my hands on it & see how it works in the middle of a fight to see how I actually feel about it.

Weapon & armour design so far has been great. Happy about that. The bits of NPC designs we've seen have been cool. I don't really like the smith's look very much. Which makes me sad because I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be Little Miss Forge. LOL

When they first showed the game off I remember thinking "yeah, that's cool, I'm looking forward to this, but it's coming out Next Year & we're not even halfway done with 2024." Well now we're almost two thirds of the way through the year. And they keep dropping gameplay trailers. And they look hype as fuck!! And now I'm feeling more impatient!!! I wanna try this shit out soon!!! I wonder if they'll drop a public demo after Gamescom or something. I wonder if my computer could even run it...

I liked the way Hunting Horn played in "Rise" but it's cool to see the more traditional recitals back. (But faster!! And with new combo paths!!) I think I've spent a cumulative hour or two watching that horn trailer over and over again for little details. The funny bubble reminds me of bead of resonance but it seems like it might also be some kind of AoE team buff? It could also just be extra damage like bead was. But I loved bead. So I'll take it. Being a Hunting Horn fan is accepting that you'll be playing an entirely different weapon in every subsequent game, so I suppose I fuss less about whether or not it plays like any one specific game. But mannnnnn it looks cool as hell this time around.

[famdommcfanface]

An analysis of alcemy for the Magnus Protocol!

I have just finished the episode I have found a list of alchemical symbols let's fucking gooo baby. Just to clarify it is my belief these are the new entities. I know it would probably be better if they were less rigidly defined but I love sorting things and am hyped!!! This is going to be long so strap in (not all of those though they're just to illustrate)! I am so sorry if you use dark mode (like me!) these images are almost all transparent.

1: Mercury!

Referring to both the metal and the planet, go wild. Mercury is all about transcending boundaries as it's kind of both a solid and a liquid (it's not but whatever), specifically the boundary of life and death, possibly even transcend death. That seems relevant. Also related to snakes so if snakes show up... probably mercury. Also if we ever get some sort of white queen in a chess way? Mercury. It also represents the mind, or spirit maybe? It's got a lot going on. Colin said it'd make the world end. Fuck yeah probably why not.

2: Salt

This is one that is not included on one list I have but is on the other. I'm not guaranteeing all of these are significant I'm finding it hard to find a definite list. If you look into just all the alchemical symbols they've got loads and I doubt they're all significant. Anyway. Salt is the physical body in this trifecta (we'll come onto that). Very to do with physicality, the body, honestly might manifest in a few ways similar to the Flesh. Also to do with purification? In general but also 'purifying' the body which I think medieval people meant in a good way but sounds evil to me. There is also of course, seperate to the whole alchemy thing, salt circles and all that. You've seen supernatural you know what I'm talking about. Although that's also to do with purification.

3: Sulphur

Or sulfur, if you are American. This one's actually got a few different symbols but let's go with this one for now. Honestly, and I know we shouldn't be comparing these to the TMA entities, but this one's pretty desolation. It's all dry heat and masculine destructive energy. Yeah this one's 'masculine' and mercury's 'feminine' for some reason, I doubt that will come up. Which I guess makes salt non-binary. This is the red king, too. This is the soul in the 'tria prima', Mercury, salt and sulphur, which were the three first elements apparently, and also cause disease? Idk. That might be relevant. Hell's meant to smell of sulphur, that tells you most of what you need to know. Again, we've all seen Supernatural. Colin said something about this making you go mad. I think yeah sure but less spiral-type mad more slaughter-type mad.

4: Air

Right, onto the four basic elements. These all have a humour related to them too and air has blood for some reason. Air is life and light and God and passion and all that good shit. I have to imagine it's gonna have some vast shit going on too because I don't think Jonny can help himself, but it's also to do with being changable and generally quite nice. Oh also ideas and creativity. All that good shit!

5: Earth

Basically the opposite of air. The 'masculine counterpart' as all these websites keep saying. It's associated with salt, which makes sense, and is all about stillness and being grounded and again, I feel like there's going to be some buried attributes in there. It's got the humour black bile which is all about sadness and shit. Most of the four basic elements are fairly self-explanatory.

6: Fire

You know what fire does. Passion, emotion, love and hate and all that. Although honestly in an alchemical way fire seems to be more emotional. So far (and I am writing these as I look into them) if you want something based around physical destruction you're gonna wanna look at sulphur. Its humour is yellow bile.

7: Water

Water, humour is phlegm, connected to mercury, honestly alchemically I can't find anyone having much to say about it but y'know. It's water. BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT WATER. Okay so this has gotta be the deep, right? The whole mix of the buried and the vast thing with the sea? That killed the girl Alice saw? Or at least was involved with the death. It's all very water.

8: Lead

Right, onto planetary metals! Which Mercury kind of also was but hey ho. So, Lead is associated with Saturn. So, alchemists believed that lead was the base metal, that all other metals were just lead that had turned into something else. Which means it's really important but also kinda sucks, and is why people kept trying to make it into gold. So lead is also to do with change but also kind of purity as they thought it 'purified' into gold. Also associated with the Roman god Saturn/Greek god Chronos, who are both to do with time so that might be involved.

9: Tin

To do with the planet Jupiter. It seems to be connected to wisdom and maturity and education and all that. BUT ALSO. It is connected to Lady Mowbray, hell yeah. Because I watched a video about the arg and noted that on the back of Lady M's assistant's clipboard or whatever is this symbol which I recognised at the time as Jupiter! Now. What does tin have to do with dogs and eating people. As far as I can tell fuck all. I thought I'd misremembered for a moment and it was actually the Saturn symbol because that would work with cannibalism at least but no Lady Mowbray seems to serve... tin. Which is kind of funny. I get the connection to nobility at least, Jupiter is king of the gods after all, but as far as I know he doesn't hunt people with dogs? Idk.

10: Iron

Related to Mars and, as I'm sure you can tell, men. Because these fuckers loved gender. Similar to fire it's all about anger and passion, but also seeing as Mars is the god of war I don't think it's beyond belief we've got something similar to the slaughter on our hands here.

11: Gold

Connected to the sun and therefore does not have a classical god I can interpret. Damn. Maybe Apollo? Gold is about having gay lovers. No. So gold's big thing is that it doesn't corrode. Something about staying as you are, the opposite of Air's changability, sort of similar to earth... I could make something out of this.

12: Copper

Well hello ladies. Copper actually has a cooler symbol but I suspect we're sticking with these. Connected to Venus, obviously, which is all about attractiveness and desirability because copper is a very pretty metal. Personally, I would say episode 2 is to do with copper. I don't know if ink5oul themself is (I think they might sort of span entities) but what's her name from the episode and her obsession with looking good seems very copper to me. I know I'm not sorting all these episodes (yet! I have to relisten first) but this one jumped out at me. Copper is also to do with love, of course. I feel like one reason maybe the desire theory got so big is a lot of alchemical elements are to do with love and desire, so that just sort of bled through?

13: Silver

That's right, it's the moon! Very to do with mystery and weird shit. I think if you get the non-literal elements of The Dark you've got Silver. Also keeps away evil, again, Supernatural. Although it also has to do with tides so I think there is a very small chance that actually this is the Deep? I doubt it though.

14: Antimony

So I wasn't going to do the mundane elements because they're less likely to be important (you'll see) but some of them are really interesting! I might not do them all. Anyway, antimony is about the wild and animalistic side of human nature, and is to do with wolves. That remind you of anyone? A certain... aristocratic milf? I know she's connected to tin but it should be antimony okay??

15: Arsenic

Arsenic is cool, we all know it. It's my mum's favourite element on the periodic table. Anyway. Swans? It's to do with swans. Apparently it transforms its appearance like a cygnet to a swan. It also fucking kills people which I'm not convinced the alchmists were aware of.

16: Bismuth

Nobody knows what they were doing with bismuth. RIP. Also, I don't know my astronomy but that is taurus. Does that mean anything? I looked into the metal; it's quite pretty and people get it mixed up with tin.

17: Magnesium

Oh boy. It's hard to extinguish once it's lit, so it represents eternity! That's gotta be something babyy! Some combination of the end and the vast and all that.

18: Phosphorus

They thought phosphorus trapped light. I know it's easy to say this from a modern perspective but alchemists were fucking dumb. I feel like I could disprove this. But they were the first scientists so we have to be nice to them I guess...

19: Platinum

Supposedly a combination of gold and silver, hence the symbol. Possibly something about being bound to something... idk.

20: Potassium

Or potash. Didn't seem to have much historical context. But I believe it has very important modern context.

21: Zinc

They burned zinc to get what they called 'white snow'. You fucking idiots snow is already white.

That's it! Honourable mention to horse dung, which is a more obscure element but gets its own symbol and everything.

also soap and urine and all sorts of shit so I think we should stop there. What have we learnt? Possibly nothing! One of these has got to be to do with plants - I assume earth? That would make sense. One's something to do with luck from the sounds of things and I have no idea what that is, hopefully someone knows more about alchemy than I do for that. There's definitely some sort of watcher and I think either that's the eye crossed into this dimension or possibly mercury? I don't think the names are going to be these because honestly imagine Lady Mowbray being like hey I serve Tin. She's probably going to say Jupiter but we all have to know in our heart of hearts. It's just fucking tin. I am very tired I am going to bed.

[bekkachaos]

BRIDGERTON THOUGHTS PRT 2 !

Send help it's literally more Polin I can't help it!

Once again, spoilers ahead for S3 part 2 so keep scrolling if you don't want em! This is my part 1.

It might be an unpopular opinion, but there was too much angst for me. Colin was too angsty for too long, and I know it was only really an episode and a half, But I felt like we got too much of book Colin's bad side and not enough understanding. Like I very much get it and he had a very valid reason for being hurt, but it was dragged almost to the very end of the last episode and I just wish there would have been a little less.

The constant asking if she was going to give up Whistledown kind of annoyed me and how cold he was every time they had that conversation just broke my heart a little bit for Penelope.

I know so much has been changed from books to show, but it's strange that in the book he knows about Whistledown before anything really happens, I mean they have that first kiss where she asks him to but everything else happens after he already knows. So for him to be so cold. Just made me feel sad. I understand it in the context of the show but still.

And something I really disliked was when they're in the room where they're going to have their wedding breakfast and Penelope asks something along the lines of "if you still want to marry me" and he says "I'm a man of honour and we were intimate", I really hate that it came to suggesting he would marry her out of obligation, It just really rubbed me the wrong way. And I wish it had been something along the lines of. "I love you Penelope and I want to marry you. I just don't know if I can forgive you for this", which he'd already said, but I would way rather that have been put out there than to ever even imply that he could marry her out of obligation. I know he was mad and betrayed and jealous, But that one line really bothers me. I've made a whole post basically saying this word for word but that's how strongly I feel about it! Like I get it from Colin's perspective and how he's grappling with it, I do, I just didn't like it.

Also, Colin never actually said sorry? For treating her like shit after he found out. Like I do think his feelings were valid and that he deserved to be upset, but he never said sorry for some of the stuff he said and for being cold even though Penelope apologised so many times.

Luke's emotion though when Colin found out and in the conversations after was incredible, when the tear fell at the end of ep 6 my heart stopped and then broke into tiny pieces!

Something about their pairing that I really like though is that they both feel inherently unlovable for one reason or another (Penelope has always felt completely unloved and overlooked, and Colin has always felt people showed him affections for shallow reasons and not actually for who he is), but both of them prove to each other over and over again how much they love the other and know the other and see them in a way no-one else does.

HOWEVER, I'm not sure they did a good enough job portraying Colin's side of this (I'll update on my rewatch send help). Not sure his coldness and hesitation was addressed enough as jealousy as it could have been. The scene where Penelope says "just love me and hold me and kiss me, what holds you back" and he says "I don't know" like was that just a little abrupt or was that just me? Because from the book I could follow that it's the jealousy of how accomplished she is but not sure the general audience picks up on that.

AND ANOTHER THING, there was absolutely not enough making up after everything was resolved with Whistledown, I needed more love and kisses and softness after the ball!

I know there were things being added to set up for the next season, but damn it was already 70 minutes long, what's 5 more of sweet and in love Polin??

Gotta say though, all of them with their babies in the end was adorable, and you can't deny the last shot kissing in the sunlight of the drawing room (where Penelope spent so much time staring out the window pining after Colin) was so fucking romantic! And the shot with their little baby boy, love!

One last thing, did they spend an exorbitant amount of time dancing or is that just me? Almost as much time as they all spent drinking lemonade in eps 1-4

Overall I loved their story, it's been my favourite pairing so far. Not sure any of the others will top it for me, but time will tell! Episodes 4-5 were definitely my favourites by a long shot!

Okay okay imma do part 3 with my thoughts on everything else 😂

[mayisgoingnuts]

JJD-fying Random Characters (PT 5)

(PS this shit is WAY longer than the past ones because I got way too excited midway)

On that one scene, Dexter managed to contain himself and not panic inside the box that Jaune brought, what made them simply throw it away as fast as possible instead of throwing it in the oven,, they were more traumatized rather than protecting themselves tbh, just,, JUST THROW THAT DOLL AWAY.

On that way to escape Lila's house and go kill something, him and JJD finally meet up again, she IMMEDIATELY recognized his voice but also how weirdly aggressive he is (more than he normally was), what only made him go from top 3 to top 1 on her list

Howeverrr of course: "I'm a doll, you dumb bitch!" and she couldn't do anything. But that's why we got magic on our side right

JJD was acting like a damn hungry puppy asking for help to Atticus cuz she knew damn well that he could, but of course her own goals are just a bunch of stupidity to him. His ass wouldn't waste time on her and she'd need to di something to deserve it

And despite not doing almost anything in the cult she CAN be useful as FUCK, she simply chooses to do only the bare minimum, and oh boy the ammount of sacrifices he got for some time (until a certain date that was like a deadline). The girl was DETERMINED.

Sooo yeah, Atticus did tried to trick her and not give anything in the end but she let it clear that if she reached the date and Atticus don't keep his promise, she'd get him infront of the whole cult. Would she die? Of fucking COURSE. But does she has the guts to do so?? YES ASWELL. He had a reputation to keep-

So Atticus did it like giving a phone to distract a brat and went "alr take this shit don't tell anyone and go have fun"

The amulet basically get supernatural beings (like demons or ghosts or monsters in general) to feel the sensation of tickling aswell, nothing more and nothing less. Silly and dumb BUT it was Dexter's doom cuz now JJD's dreams came true

You can easily count that as kidnapping to be honest KAJDHDK,, JJD just took him to herself, that's it. Where she goes he'll go and the other way around. Did Dexter liked it? Bruh he was pure NERVES in the beginning, he never felt so much rage, every opportunity he had to try killing her he would give it a shot (yes, she let him have a knife and never took it from him)

Buuuuut it kinda got less worse with time? It began with the fact that the first time he was going nuts because of his needs JJD actually leaved and brought him like, 2 stray cats for him to kill and then went back to sleep. He thought she was messing with him but he noticed it was for real when he tested her and she once again began to walk around with him searching for animals to kill (wanting or not she knows how it feels to have a need, she wouldn't call it empathy but "basic logic")

And after some time JJD is A LITTLE more sufferable and her "peaks of boredom" weren't as bad, still annoying as fuck but now that he basically don't got the physical consequences of it it's way better,, although he still hates them. JJD is unable to shut the fuck up after all /silly but asides from that she's less of a bitch than he imagined

Dexter would still not be sad or mad if JJD died and neither would she if he died-DIED (but she avoids because Dexter benefits her A LOT) and it's kind of a consent that they're getting along SOMETIMES to not make things annoying for both of them, plus he managed to get a few things that staying with Skid or even as a human he wasn't allowed to have, such as just satisfy his needs without having to be careful about it/dealing with consequences, a bodyguard 24/7 and the privilege of going to places and do whatever shit you want because they'll never get you

Those mfs are the definition of "unhealthily healthy", I have NO other ways to describe it, they're both weirdos /aff and I love both of them so much

Mayhaps they can grow into an actual friendship but now that depends on timelines and shit that I like to create ksbdjshdjs

Taglist: @merwynsartblog @clownazon @dismissivedestroyer @jonesy-squish

[honeygrahambitch]

WHATS A HANNIGRAM CODED TAYLOR SWIFT SONG

The perfect ask doesn't exi-

I have prepared for this my whole life. Here is a list of hannigram coded taylor swift songs.

Look what you made me do

it's sexy and petty and it's the perfect Will Graham in salmon shirt revenge song but it's also very Hannibal in Mizumono coded.

2. I did something bad

perfect for both of them and especially for Will discovering that killing people makes him feel stuff that he shouldn't

3. Back to december (I am feral about this one)

perfect for them. chef's kiss. You can listen to it and think about Mizumono or about Digestivo, depends what kind of pain you want.

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

this is so Will Graham thinking about Mizumono and also Hannibal surrendering to the FBI cause he doesn't need freedom if he cannot have Will.

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This lyrics too because it's the tea cup motif, turning back the time, which is exactly what Hannibal wanted to do in digestivo. And also related to Will's regrets about Mizumono.

4. Mastermind

Perfect for them both, from beginning to end. Nothing to add than some very fitting lyrics.

I knew I wanted your body I laid the groundwork, and then Just like clockwork The dominoes cascaded in a line What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine It was all my design

5. Better than revenge (more as crack if you want to think of it from Hannibal's pov towards Molly lol)

6. Right where you left me

season 3b coded, breaks you to pieces if you imagine them and the glass wall in between.

7. Wonderland

I reached for you, but you were gone I knew I had to go back home You searched the world for somethin' else To make you feel like what we had And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

them in season 3a, Hannibal trying to replace Will with Anthony but it was in vain.

8. Come back, be here

Will grieving after Hannibal left

9. Hoax

there is so much to say about this one, I find it very fitting

My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My win-less fight This has frozen my ground

(...)

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

(...)

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark

you can think about all the pain they have inflicted into each other and each time they have betrayed each other

10. I almost do

11. Sad Beautiful Tragic

so so so hannigram coded

We both wake In lonely beds In different cities And time Is taking its sweet time erasing you And you've got your demons And darlin' they all look like me

12. Ivy (which is considered to be a very queer song)

I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed

13. Willow (a lil more cheesy)

14. The lakes

hannigram coded because they don't fit in the normal world. And the lyrics sound like something Hannibal would say

15. Vigilante shit

as petty and sexy as Look what you made me do

16. Bad blood

doesn't need any explanation

17. No body, no crime

for the whole arc of Will trying to convince everyone Hannibal framed him

18. Getaway Car

Mizumono coded

19. The Great War

twotl coded

All that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, sweet dream was over My hand was the one you reached for All throughout the Great War

(...)

It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on my hair pin triggers Soldier down on that icy ground Looked up at me with honor and truth Broken and blue, so I called off the troops That was the night I nearly lost you I really thought I lost you

and this part very Mizumono coded

20. Peace

they are both problematic for each other

21. The Alcott

describes the Uffizi Gallery scene. Like, in perfect detail.

22. My tears ricochet

23. Illicit Affairs

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

24. Last kiss

for when Hannibal is locked up

25. Haunted

26. Cowboy like me

especially because Will is from the south lol

I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one

Hope this helps!

[queenvhagar]

While I can understand people being frustrated with Alicent’s writing this season, I do have to admit that some people seem to take it a little bit too far. Like I literally had to leave the green Reddit because people were being straight up nasty towards Alicent.

So people can still enjoy Aegon and Aemond despite the shit writing they’ve been given but fans aren’t allowed to like Alicent anymore? Again, I understand people not being happy with the writing for Alicent (trust me im pissed too) but idk some of things said makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t know, I feel like as an alicent fan (and even as an alicole shipper) the fandom just feels… less inviting know, ya know? I now just enjoy her S1 and book characterization but seeing how much hate Alicent is getting honestly makes me both sad and mad cause it means that Ryan Condal making her a rage bait this season essentially worked.

Sorry if im bothering you, i just needed to vent to someone😅

Her writing this entire season has definitely just been rage bait and it's working for both her critics and her fans.

For me, it's just completely turned me away from the show, and particularly the Dragonstone scene in the finale is the last straw in terms of her character being completely ruined. This writing choice has made her objectively one of the most pathetic and despicable characters in my opinion in ways that the real Alicent is not. I've kind of separated her characterization this season and particularly the finale, which is ultimately rage-inducing and worthy of criticism, from her real character that exists in the books and was hinted at in moments in season 1.

Her show character is not something I can enjoy at all post-Dragonstone, and while the character assassination has been strong for show Aemond and show Aegon (and all the other Greens), it has yet to be so completely illogical that it absolutely breaks the story and character and the role they play in the story. So this might be where other people are coming from when they say they can be fans of other Greens but not Alicent anymore.

I'm just checked out and can't even go along with the idea that any version of Alicent would do what she does because it goes completely against everything essential to her character. If I was still able to have immersion in the story and the ability to try to think through or justify her choices and motivation or find any connection or coherency in her character change over time, I might have more to say about her, but that's gone for me. It is just so transparent what the writers are trying to do with her, the Greens, and the Blacks that I no longer have any buy-in with this show as something that feasibly could exist in-universe. It's like I can see the writers manipulating and changing the story so strongly to fit their specific vision in every scene that I can't even view the story or characters independently from that anymore.

So yeah, I'm not a show Alicent fan anymore (nor am I a show fan after this). But book Alicent will always be supreme. That's the real Alicent. And I prefer the book versions of basically every other character as well.

I suppose people can still be a fan of show Alicent and try to justify her choices, but it definitely will continue to get harder and harder to defend her because the writers are clearly and so transparently determined to completely humiliate and butcher her character to uplift Rhaenyra and fans will be continue to be critical of her because of this targeted writing, unfortunately.

And the sad result is the fandom will just get more toxic 😓 take care out there and definitely feel free to avoid spaces that are getting too hostile or leaning into the misogynistic hate that the writers are inviting fans to direct at Alicent through their misogynistic writing.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

to complain about sims more i'm still pissed the sims 4 is a gutted corpse of a mmo no one wanted. and that’s not the developers fault! genuinely, the sims development team seems really sweet and friendly and skilled, they were never the issue. something i've always appreciated about the sims is that the developers have always had a very positive relationship with the fans and their creations, they’ve always been super encouraging towards modding and cc and i genuinely think it’s awesome of them. mad respect to the devs for even making the sims 4 functional when it had to shift genre completely halfway through development they have to be insanely skilled to even get it functional and i don’t think they deserve any animosity. as far as i can tell, they’re a bunch of smart, kind, and clever people doing their best with a game doomed to fail to begin with.

but like. the fact the sims 4 was even meant to be such a genre shift is disgusting. genuinely fucking appalling behaviour from ea. like it completely strips the series of it’s identity and is a blatant slap in the face to its core audience. like, the sims audience is just straight up different to a lot of other games. it’s incredibly diverse, of course- more so than any other I’ve seen- but it tends to skew older, skew female, and skew towards those with an interest in programming and/or storytelling. and while obviously not all of them will dislike mmos, older adults have jobs and kids to care for, and those with an interest in creating their own mods or stories either cant or have to do it collaboratively. a lot of these are people who got into the sims specifically because of the features it’d lose as an mmo! and it’s such an insult they’d throw so many people under the bus for a quick cash grab and then leave their devs with a barely functioning mess when they got backlash from simcity.

and they’re!!! still trying to find ways to exploit the sims and make it online to get even more money from its audience! these are devoted people, they’d have to be to spend enough money to play the sims, and ea keeps looking to exploit that loyalty to get people to pay for products they KNOW they don’t want bc they’d rather scam people out of money than make good games for slightly less money. and it’s so fucking sad. all respects to the devs for trying to make the sims 4 fun and functional you all did a really great job with the parts you were given but like the sims 4 is an example of corporate greed (and performative activism- ea Says all this shit about diversity but I don’t forget that they whitewashed sims in the beginning including the franchises mascot like they were so scared of having a woman of colour as their icon) and it makes me sad

[northwest-cryptid]

I can't explain it very well, and I know a lot of people will probably hate to hear it. But Limbus Company feels like seeing someone running around wearing the corpse of a friend like a cheap cosplay and everyone praising them for being the authentic real thing.

It makes me feel insane, because I know so few who actually understand the problems I have with it. Fewer who seem to understand we're never going to get back what we lost.

But I do find it really funny how Project Moon became the very thing it wrote about. Obviously to a less extreme degree, or at least a less direct degree; and everyone who played LC and said "wow this guy sucks, how can these people overlook all these crimes and still just go on with their lives!?" Play Limbus Company, pay for Gacha, and when I dare to mention how ironic that is; I'm slapped in the face with how I'm a bad person because this is how they cope with their trauma or something.

Mind you these are all like, 3 different issues that stem from the same larger issue with Project Moon as a company. I've heard people say this is a problem with "the greater market of games as a whole" but I just don't buy that when you have so many indie games that succeed well enough despite being authentic and true to themselves.

Project Moon made Limbus as a funding project, a way to have an ongoing story they could add to the lore with; while funding bigger and better projects. That was the intent originally; but when they earned more than they could have ever hoped for their true colors got revealed immediately, and we lost what was once a very promising company, game series, and world setting. Seeing how much the community has in the past, and continues to influence the direction of the company it's kind of sad to see this happen because it feels like we let this happen in a way, even though I do believe I did my part in trying to prevent it.

But hey, truth is; people like Limbus Company, it's not that it's necessarily a bad game or bad characters or even honestly a bad story. So I don't necessarily fault people for that, more power to them; I'm happy they can enjoy it. However It's not Lobotomy Corporation, hell it's not even Library of Ruina which wasn't even Lobotomy Corporation. We're never going to get the same setting as Lob Corp, sure maybe on the surface level shit. We're always going to have fixers, and horror themes, and shit like that whatever. It's never going to be able to grapple with the shit Lob Corp did though, it's not going to be able to tell those stories, it's not going to be able to go to the places Lob Corp did, because that's not who Project Moon is anymore, and they know VERY well that if they deviate too much from what's marketable, it's not going to make them money.

I could get into it, but I don't really feel up for it right now, not that my opinion genuinely matters that much. I'm sure I'll get one or two weird anon messages about how I'm stupid and "if I don't like it don't play it" or some shit. Sure I understand, and like; for the record I don't play it. But I'm not just sitting here bitching for the sake of being mad about something or complaining. I'm not even mad or upset, I'm fucking sad because what I loved about Project Moon, and it's world, and it's characters, and what it was saying and doing as a company? Yea that doesn't exist anymore, and it won't come back, we've lost it and there's no going back to the way it was.

Man if only we had been warned about the true horror of corporate greed and the corruption that comes from wealth and power somehow :P

[fullstcp]

'Now That I've Been Honest' by Maddie Zahm Sentence Starters

WHERE DO ALL THE GOOD KIDS GO?

"They ran out of adults, the closest thing was me."

"They showed me just how alone alone can be."

"I thought so much about death, I couldn't live my life."

"I was always way too young to be that good at growing up."

"So I hooked up with a random stranger."

"I can't tell the difference between fun and danger."

EIGHTBALL GIRL

"You're black and white about everything but me."

"So tell me, dynamite, what's it gonna be?"

"Tell me how you feel about me."

"Do you love me? Is it hazy? Do the signs all point to yes?"

"What keeps happening between us wouldn't happen between friends."

"The tension's hard to handle."

THANKS FOR COMING OUT

"I listen to the stories about shitty boys who broke your heart."

"I called you my best friend when we both know you were way more."

"Sorry I gave that boy my number, I don't know what I did that for."

"I'll go back to kissing strangers in the dark."

"You can go back to lying to yourself about who you are."

"I'm a mess, I 'm a wreck."

"You kissed a girl, don't you forget."

"I warned you, you might panic."

"I thought we'd work it out, didn't see it coming when you left."

"A hotel, a few days, I guess that's all we're gonna be."

LADY KILLER

"Since you came around, I've cried enough to drift away."

"You knocked me off my hot girl shit, and then you walked away."

"But then you kissed your boyfriend just to shove it in my face."

"Fucking ruthless. You know what you're doing."

"So I won't pull the trigger if you don't."

"We all know how deadly this is gonna get."

"It's getting tragic how bad I want it."

"The fact that it's forbidden is what makes it kinda hot."

"Fuck Romeo, I'll take Juliet."

ROBIN WILLIAMS

"All the greats have been depressed."

"Money can't buy happiness."

"Nothing that I have is really mine."

"What if there's beauty in boring?"

"What if I find solace in the ordinary?"

"Cause, if I want it all, when will I stop wanting more?"

"What good is being worshipped if I don't know what for?"

"Life's a moving finish line, we're never really satisfied."

"The more that you're adored, the less you're liked."

"How could that not make you lose your mind?"

STEP ON ME

"I hope you twist the story til you think its true."

"I hope you keep telling people I was chasing you."

"I hope that you'll write me a "fuck you" song."

"I hope you fall in love with someone else."

"I hope I'm the ex that your friends love to hate."

"I get that you're sad, but you can't be that mad."

"Your life only got good when we went bad."

"Tell everyone that it's my fault."

DANI

"Said we couldn't be friends, and maybe that was true."

"I was always a little bit in love with you."

"I know we shouldn't be talking."

"If you're ever single, call me."

"I'm a lot more than a little in love with you."

"If you wanna know what's on my mind, he/she/they can't be on yours."

"But I'm yours if you say you want me."

IMISSYOU.

"You're the best I've found."

"Thank you for showing up and showing me what I'm missing."

"I know you had to go and I already miss you."

"If you wait too long and I become the love of someone's life, just know you're still mine."

"I'll stop missing you when I die."

"I hope you learn to like who you are. Or at least pick a few favorite parts."

"I'm sorry I showed up and showed you what you're missing."

"I promise you I'll go, can I have one more minute?"

"If you wait too long and find the greatest love and it's not mine. It's alright."

"I'll miss you until I die."

BEDROOM

"You made my home foreign land."

"You made me hate my bedroom."

"You couldn't let me have one nice thing, could you?"

"I fucking miss you."

"I wish I never met you."

LIGHTS ON KIND OF LOVER

"I never wanted someone to want me."

"Now I'll never want somebody else to want me."

"I know you would love me better."

"I'm so far from put together."

"You're changing me."

"I love the way you love me better."

PICK UP THE PHONE

"I'm the only who thinks I'm a fuck-up."

"I know I should just pick up the phone."

"Serotonin's fucking with my head."

"It's crazy that I know what would be best."

"I don't wanna get better."

"I still don't think I'm deserving."

GROWING IN

"I got rid of shallow people who like to tell me what I'm not."

"I learned to take it easy."

"This life is a mess and it's amazing."

"Nobody's really growing up, we're just growing in."

"I finally stopped chasing personified question marks."

"I fell in love, then fell out of it."

"Thought it'd kill me, but I got over it."

"You have time, kid."

"Just take your time."

[goopyedgay]

Uh time to be cringe

sometimes it makes me feel very bad and the fact of being a gregstella shipper bothers me, imagine that what you love the most and makes you happy is also what hurts you the most, I'm not doing anything wrong and still the people get to be very annoying and cruel to me, I want to believe because I am the one who is actively creating content about them, so I guess it makes sense that I'm the one who takes the hits.

I'm someone who tries to take things calmly but sometimes I just explode over things as simple and stupid as these, I know I asked people to block me if my content bothers them, and I appreciate that they do, but there are also people that the only thing seeks is to annoy, even sending me messages that I should kms.

I couldn't care less about these things when I'm in a good mood but in these moments when I just feel bad and I can only say, I'm sorry? sorry for shipping two characters that have nothing problematic? I wish I had become obsessed with something else instead of this but I can't help it, I've been dealing with this shit since last year, but now that I've become more open it only makes things worse.

I can't even calmly interact with the hellpark fandom because I'm afraid they'll get mad at me and point out that I'm "proshipper" or "lesbiphobic", at this point I don't even want to draw HP Estella and Gregory together, I have to admit that I ship them and that was the reason why I started doing it gregstella content, but to avoid problems I created my own au or whatever. (and it ended up becoming a very ambitious project wow)

I'm not lesbiphobic, in fact, I really like ships wlw, and I have considered being a lesbian many times but i'm aro so meh, just because I like a "straight" ship doesn't negate everything else, it will sound like an excuse but I don't even consider Gregory to be a man (or at least the one from hellpark and my au) or a woman, I consider him as... Gregory just being Gregory? I don't really give much importance to this hc thing because at the end of the day my favorite characters are my favorite characters for other reasons and not just for that, and I found myself unfortunate that my two favorite characters are two that you can't ship because it's "wrong". I know there are some gregstella shippers who have said or done unpleasant things, but there will always be weird people, and that doesn't mean we should pigeonhole us all into that.

It's sad that I have to say something as stupid as this to me. But I needed to get this off my chest because I'm really getting tired of this kind of stuff, I'll probably delete this later or maybe keep it here so people are clear about where I stand and stop saying or misinforming what I do or say, like e.g. I draw nsfw (something I have never done publicly and I haven't drawn this type of explicit things for years since I was grommed lol, and if I did in the future that is something that does not concern you, much less if you are minors)

Anyway, thank you very much to the people who support me and like my art, you really motivate me to continue being open with what I like and continue bringing content for the community of this beautiful ship, or even if you don't like the ship and you only like my artstyle, it is also appreciated ♥️

This is more vent than a clarification, but hey, take it as you want, love y'all!

[boltlightning]

ok. saw sweeney todd revival on broadway. i went from not knowing any songs to seeing two productions in one summer so. thoughts:

because im me my immediate takeaway was: it's been a hot second since i saw a show with the orchestra in a pit down in front of the stage AND it was a 26-person orchestra with refreshed orchestrations! it was so crispy and tight and the energy of being able to see the conductor is difficult to put into words. i'm beyond glad they didn't hide the musicians backstage

there were a lot of people there just for josh groban — i was with family whom i persuaded to see this show because of josh groban, and i heard many people in line being like "hey so is josh groban the bad guy? how much does he kill" and there were some changes i feel reflected that. there was so much physical humor, and sometimes lines were added to further give context to someone's actions. i think it works overall, but you could feel the crowd paying less attention when mrs. lovett or sweeney weren't on stage lol

and it's so unsettling! the chorus has some incredible and strange choreography; the light coming through the steps up to the second story is so ominous; the harmonies SOAR through the theater. it's good stuff.

potentially spoily stuff about the production itself below:

and yes OF COURSE the leads were incredible. i feel like len cariou's sweeney is so angry and yet refined, and michael ball's goes hard on the madness and revenge, but groban's is so...sad. he's such a dad, he sings like an angel, it is so uncomfortable when he does something violent. groban's epiphany is HAUNTING and ELECTRIC and the way he interacts with the razors is incredible! and the way he plays a little priest is hilarious but makes it very clear that it is an extension of his mental break. genuinely and eye-opening experience thank you mr. groban

and ashford takes the more emotional cues from the 2007 movie, but makes you actually care about her lmao. like compared to lansbury's frenetic and absent-minded lovett, ashford is laid back and casual and almost lazy about all the weird shit happening around her. she feels bad about locking toby up, sure, but she's still gonna use it as an excuse to get sweeney to pay attention to her! she's funny she's heartfelt she's insane she wants to fuck sweeney todd so fucking bad. it's an incredible combo

and. yeah the rumors are true. she climbs josh groban like a jungle gym the entire time, and on the rare occasion sweeney snaps out of his brooding to reciprocate the flirting, it is HOT. their camaraderie on and off stage is potent. and it works in the other direction too — when he starts to flinch away from her in the second act it's painful.

i do think that the ending sequence in particular is kind of messy up until the last scene in the bake house; there's not a moment to breathe and not in a way that seems intentional? and some of the scenes with the judge/johanna/anthony subplot could have used some love. but. minor qualms. i am biased because kiss me through pretty women is probably my favorite section of the show 😵‍💫

my last takes are: johanna and the beadle in this production are unbelievably good. johanna leaned so into the bird motifs, as well as the idea that she is done waiting around and ready to do violence, much like her father. and the beadle is delightfully amoral and hates his job and delights in the power it affords him. i am so glad they didn't cut parlor songs and let him really eat it up

and. the last shot of sweeney and mrs. lovett is so so so good and i hope they do a professional filmed production of this so people can experience that alone. josh groban's in this it'll sell like hot cakes PLEASE just do it

my first experience with sweeney todd was a local production i saw this june, in a deeply intimate 300-seat theater. i was sitting so close i could've set my drink on the stage. the sweeney was elegant and suave and tortured; mrs lovett was so casually and affably mean. i will think about them forever! and it's very interesting to compare it to the big fuck-off money production considering they both got roasted for having a more emotional sweeney!! here's the theater's 40 second promo for it!!!

nothing will ever replace the original soundtrack in my heart. but i'm gonna be unwell about this revival for a bit

anyway that's all i got!! thanks for reading if you read this. attend the tale and all that (obligatory tag for @r-osehips thank you for the interest ❤️)

[nattyontherun]

Okay. Okay fine! I'll explain (some!) of the YOI IWTV AU :] (no one asked. The one person who asked has been crying and served me divorce papers already. That's alright, I'll win them back. @sugarbunbie haha takemebackplsibegimnothingwithoutyo-- EHM EHM ANYWAYS!!)

So I've been having brainworms. Brainworms in proportions hitherto undreamth of. And those brainworms begin and end with Viktor as Lestat!

Haha. I'm not joking.

If you follow me on AO3, or at least read a few of my latest (very short) fics, you'll be well aware that the reason I've slowed down writing is because my laptop is busted and I've been using my phone to update stuff. Very sad, I know. What I did NOT account for, however, is the utter lack of decorum watching s2 of IWTV would give me, let alone the grand ol' idea of making a YOI AU out of it.

I'm still kinda stuck at the stage where haha, Viktor!Stat.

Anyways seeing as updates are slow and, very likely, I won't dive beyond IWTV s1-2 in terms of plot points (and since it's not a 1:1, at all, I say that with a lot of caveats. Character journey, perchance? Emotionally, rather than physically and actually. Smth smth self actualization for our LouClaudia characters, ehm. As I was saying!!) so I figured I'd make a small Tumblr post the way I did for my NRT threesome AU series ( - which I HAVE NOT DROPPED BTW!!! It's just really long and plotty, and I need an actual writing-specific device to work on it since I need to do more research!!!), just explain a few things that may be lost to the crevices of the AU series.

1. I described the first part of the series, seek me with dead eyes (embody me) as kind of a stand-in for the San Francisco fiasco in 1973, because it's not a proper "interview". I'm debating on keeping it that way for the sake of a more compact story, particularly because I don't plan to delve more into the "DM" of this AU,,,, but I will confirm that the interview with Georgi is the basis for many of the fics that follow, even if Georgi doesn't feature predominantly/at all.

2. Yes, there will be Yuuri and Viktor-centric fics to come. Yuuri's will probably be the last one of the series, and the Viktor fic will be a gift. I'm honestly excited to write it, he's the whole reason I bothered to drag my fingers over my phone keyboard and WORK at this au!!

3. Reiterating that Yuri and Yuuri share the burden of being both Louis and Claudia, for the reason that neither of them could EVER be a 1:1 of either of those characters and to put them in such boxes would be a disservice to all four characters involved lmao.

It's particularly for this reason, plus the fact that I'm not framing Yuri as a "son" for Viktuuri, that the focus of the series has morphed. I still think and want to ensure that the AU remains very much about grief, loss and loneliness - but the heart of it will not be about the horrible death of a child.

Will the fic series be less devastating to account for these changes? Maybe? I'm very inclined towards horror myself, if you've looked into my catalogue more, so I'm not shy about introducing some of the more grotesque, vile shit that happens in IWTV, but I figure if it doesn't serve a purpose in the narrative I'm building, I won't bother with writing it out because, again, I'm using my phone and I have wrist problems djsjsjjdjd.

4. Speaking of: there are plenty more characters in the AU, from YOI, that serve as an amalgam of IWTV characters too! Unlike YuuYu however, they have no counterpart to 'shoulder the burden' so to speak. You'll probably know them when you see them, as they crop up over time. It's especially relevant for Viktor's half of the enfolding story!!

5. I'm honestly just making this Tumblr post because I'm a. Bored and b. Driving myself up the wall with each new revelation I'm making out of this AU. None of which I've put on here, I think, thankfully. Very spoiler-y, that. Hahahahahaha. I wrote much of the very first fic in a mad haze and now I'm rethreading it to write out the plot more, beyond that burst of sudden all encompassing inspiration - and I am absolutely insane. I really am. Feel free to DM me here or on Discord or utilize asks if you're intrigued or wanna toss questions - I will absolutely answer because it's all I'm yapping about for the next forever and ever.

K thanks bye!!!

[sardonic-the-writer]

hello. i am curious about Ezra,,, im splitting these into different asks to maybe make it less overwhelming...

What is their favorite kind of social event?

Are they upfront about their feelings?

Who are they most honest with?

Is there a habit they have that they learned from someone else?

What would it take for them to get into a fight?

Have they had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

Is there an activity they used to enjoy that they now dislike?

What is a topic they would be excited to talk about? 

wow!! lots of questions! i'll do my best to answer them all tonight with as much energy as i can, but we'll see. grins

what is their favorite kind of social event?

movie nights honestly. ezra doesn't really look forward to normal social events, and he hardly gets to experience them anyways being a hunter and all. but movie nights, especially once everyone settles down in the bunker, is always his favorite way to spend the night with all the people he loves, even if it means fighting over what movie to watch. save him a seat between cas and dean

are they upfront about their feelings?

more than dean, and sometimes even sam, but that's not saying much. all three of them are some sort of emotionally incompetent. for a while, mainly the first few seasons, ezras whole shtick was being secretive (literally no one knew he was a ghost for most of season three), but later on, once he's spent years upon years with the winchesters and their acquaintances, he definitely gets better at expressing his thoughts outloud

who are they most honest with?

i'd be lying if i said dean and sam. the three of them lie to each other all the damn time for "the greater good" or to "protect each other," and then get mad when they find out everyone else has been doing the same thing. hypocrites. ezras probably the most honest with cas, and then most definitely jack in the last few seasons

is there a habit they have that they learned from someone else?

i think i've mentioned this in one of my song analysis posts before, but ezra chants stuff under his breath a lot to remember things, and he sort of picked that up from other hunters when he first started out in the hunting scene

what would it take for them to get into a fight?

easiest way is to try and snatch his beanie off his head or to attack him first. second easiest way to trigger a fight response is to attack his friends/allies

have they ever had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

you know, i don't think so. but i am doing my rewatch right now, which means i'm rewriting and adding a lot of ezra lore as i go, so maybe that could change

is there an activity they used to enjoy that they dislike now?

dreaming. having dreams when be was young was always great. but now, as he grows older and more and more shit happens, ezra finds that most of his dreams are nightmares. don't get me wrong, he still loves to sleep, but prefers if it's dreamless

is there a topic they would be excited to talk about?

the obvious answer here is the xmen. that's his special interest, baby. other than that, maybe the music he likes? there isn't much else he's been steadily passionate about throughout the years. it's sad, but after he died for the first time and got caught up in everything with the winchesters and heaven and blah blah blah, he sort of lost time to do anything he loved

[belonareyna]

A study on Aaron Minyard

He is not homophobic out of Nora's extra content (where she just drops the Andrew Minyard is misogynist and Aaron is homophobic and I still don't get why. Where is this in the book? WHERE? I have read it three times and I have no proofs of this. But I haven't read all of Nora's extra content so it might be there)

He is uncomfortable of Nicky's sexual comments NOT with Nicky's sexuality

I wanted to punch him in the face when he talked to Neil after Baltimore in the house BUT I get that he was mad, angry and really worried about Andrew: Andrew had been abused literally months ago (not to mention his childhood). And then this mafia kid who lies more than he talks is dating/fucking his brother? Oh baby the Minyard twins protection to each other is TWISTED don't get mad at Aaron for being a shit to Neil while you protect Andrew who literally did the same thing to Katelyn.

I don't think he had used homophobic language towards anyone (I might be mistaken in this one bc English is not my first language and I read the books in English)

He is punished for "choosing" Tilda over Andrew by the Fandom. Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. Years of abuse and psychological trauma ended just like that when Andrew killed Tilda. Men WTF? Aaron's relationship with his mother was horrible. But you can't expect that Aaron who just had meet Andrew, and didn't knew how seriously he took his promises was going to accept that he murdered her mother so he wouldn't be hurted anymore. He hadn't even got time to forgive himself.

Hey! Tilda is dead, my brother killed him, he was in the car with her, he could have died too. My mother is dead. No more hits. No more screams. My brother could have died too. My brother had KILLED OUR MOM TO PROTECT ME. IT'S MY FAULT. LIKE EVERY BLOW I RECIEVE FROM HER. IT'S MY FAULT. MY BROTHER KILLED MY MOM AND IT'S MY FAULT. If it's not clear, Tilda is dead, so it seems like a good idea to lock Aaron, an addict who just received an impact change in his life in a bathroom and let him deal with withdrawal. Yep. Not traumatizing at all

Why did he extended his deal with his bother? Maybe because he wanted to stick around with Andrew, because he wanted to have a relationship with his brother and he knew/think the only way he could do that was if there was a deal on the table.

He killed Drake. And he couldn't see his brother after that. My brother has been abused. My brother has been abused at least till he was 12. I have killed his abuser. Does he care for me? He is asking me if I'm OK. He was the one raped and he is asking me if I'm OK? Is he OK? No, how can he be? How can I be OK? He is going to the hospital. But I'm going to the police station. He is gone.

"Is this going to be an ongoing thing? I need to know how to plan around you." "No," Andrew said. Aaron flicked him an irritated look. "Yes."

He is making an actual effort to bond with his twin. And I'm not saying Andrew doesn't care about Aaron. He fucking loves him. More than himself. He loves him and I'm not saying any other thing. But he is giving his brother the ice treatment. And Aaron just wants the ice to melt. And he is trying.

Neil Josten. In less than a year he is capable of making Andrew interested. He can make Andrew FEEL something. A task where Aaron had failed. And Aaron knows something. If Neil dies, Andrew will die with him. And isn't is sad and terrible? To know that you are NOT ENOUGH for your brother to try to stay alive

All of this said I have to say I love Andrew Minyard and this wasn't a comparison between the twins. We kind of understand Andrew and Andrew's reasons towards everything because the books are written through Neil's point of view and Andrew shares with him more than he had ever shared with anybody. But Aaron doesn't know a lot of things and can't understand his brother just as quick as Neil because he doesn't have all the information and because he is not Neil, he is a completely different human being with a completely different line of thoughts.

It's two in the morning and yesterday I've sleep only for four hours. So I think this post is less objective and more my thoughts than I would have like it to be. But that's what editing is for.

Love and hope you like it

[plutosdumps]

MCKENNA GRACE'S EP 'BITTERSWEET 16' SENTENCE STARTERS

UGLY CRIER

"she's such an ugly crier"

"she'll never be taylor swift"

"she can't get a grip"

"even at her best, she's a constant mess"

"i'm so mediocre"

"i'm not perfect, i'm a screw up"

"who could love me like this?"

"she's mature for her age, but too young for __"

"i'm such an ugly crier"

CITY LEAVER

"somehow we still got lost"

"wait, where are we?"

"it was pretty cute"

"it's not far from la to houston"

"you never told me you were visiting"

"it's so far from la to houston"

"say you miss me but i don't believe it"

"i don't want to hear it, i don't want to see it"

CHECKERED VANS

"a low blow even for you"

"my stupid heart was in your hands"

"you used me like your cigarettes"

"i should've known better"

"your words are made of daggers"

"you even ruined air for me"

"damn what the hell happened?"

"i swear you exist just to spite me"

BUZZKILL BABY

"are you happy now that i'm so miserable?"

"isn't that what you wanted from me?"

"you liked to pick me apart like daisies"

"wish i never even met you in the first place"

"you're such a buzzkill"

"it's almost impressive how much you still stress me out"

"you cut the deepest kind of wounds"

"almost had me with your shallow flattery"

"left me crying in the bathroom on my birthday"

"i cried like a funeral"

"i watched you pick me apart like daisies"

WHAT IF?

"what if you never parked your car in that parking lot?"

"what if i had just thought twice?"

"what if i walked away would you still have my heart today?"

"do i think of you now and then?"

"do i defend you to my friends?"

"would i do it all again?"

"i hate you and i never want to see your face again"

"what if you treated me with the kindness and respect i deserve?"

"what?!"

"maybe i'd have stayed with you"

"i deleted all our photos"

"i love it 'cause it's like we never met"

POST PARTY TRAUMA

"i must look so dumb"

"i don't know why i try to be honest"

"i just can't do parties"

"i deserve to be alone"

"now my cover's blown"

"i should just go home"

"how can i be myself?"

"i don't know who i am"

"words shoot out of their mouths like vomit"

"drinking lies like gin and tonic"

"my phone is dying"

"save me"

"i just need someone to take me home"

"need to go outside 'cause i'm nauseous"

"everybody here is so flawless"

"please stop talking shit"

"i'm so sick of high school drama"

COLLASPING STARS

"not really sure if you're human or just a heart killing machine"

"i'm trying to see if you ever did care about me"

"i really am trying so hard not to be mad"

"i'm lashing out 'cause i'm so sad"

"i say i don't but i really do miss what we almost could've had"

"it was close but no cigar"

"almost kissed in your car"

"now we're just collasping stars"

"i say i don't but i really do"

"i don't even know what's become of me"

BITTERSWEET 16

"i thought that i'd checked off some boxes"

"keep kicking my bucket list right down the street"

"they say i'm too young to think about love"

"they say i'm too young to think about love but without it i feel incomplete"

"i'll lie here, right here"

"less melodramatic, more anticlimactic"

"i'm all out of tears"

"when i was younger i used to wonder if i'd have a boyfriend"

"he'd tell me i'm pretty and make me feel nice"

"but i just feel shitty"

"my childhood's wasted and i'm scared to fix it"

"maybe i should get this life thing figured out"

"is it downhill from here?"

"i refuse to believe they're the best of my years"

"my mind makes up stories but they sure don't help"

"like a candle burning out"