#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[hollowtones]

ayy monhun fan! what are you thinkin of what we've seen of wilds so far?

The initial trailer they dropped months ago was pretty cool. "World" is my least favourite game that I've played (even thought I liked it a lot!!), and 90% of why I felt that way was "this is the first time they're making a game of this scale / scope / direction", so it's exciting to see them make a successor to it now that they're not also learning how to make a game like it from the bottom-up & not also building the tech side of it from scratch.

Big desert environments have me excited!!!! I love the way these games do deserts. I'm always dreaming of Val Habar. I love the colour palette they're using for this area. Big fan of Yoshi being a new mechanic. In general I'm noticing a lot of things in "Wilds" that feel like a really cool mix of ideas from "World" and "Rise" in a way that feels a little more grounded. It's cool that they're bringing back a buddy you can ride around on & control. I wonder if they'll let Yoshi fight with you. I don't remember if they showed that off already. Getting to hotswap between 2 weapons without having to run back to base camp feels like a big deal that I haven't really wrapped my head around yet.

The focus mode thing seems fine. More granular control over aiming sometimes seems neat, & the footage we've seen makes it feel like positioning & animation commitment are still a part of it, which I like. Expanding part-breaking into "opening wounds that take more damage & enable special attacks" seems cool! (There was a similar-ish tenderizing mechanic with the Clutch Claw in "Iceborne", and I fuckin hated using it. Loved the idea of it at first. Having to do this whole separate action that interrupted the flow of the fight in a weird way to enable more damage felt awful after a while!! And they designed all the fights around the fact that you have it & use it! So I'm glad they're seemingly taking what I liked about it & chucking out the rest, haha.) I remember there was some hubbub about focus existing at all when news was first dropping. Some people were mad about it? I feel like this happens every time they announce a new Monster Hunter. They reveal a new feature, and a couple guys crawl out of the woodwork to go "THEY HAVE MADE THE VIDEO GAME PITIFUL AND EASIER - THIS IS THE DEATH OF THE FRANCHISE!" The franchise has died every game since the first one, by my count. (They end up buying the game anyway, of course.) I hope they put out a demo soon, though. I wanna get my hands on it & see how it works in the middle of a fight to see how I actually feel about it.

Weapon & armour design so far has been great. Happy about that. The bits of NPC designs we've seen have been cool. I don't really like the smith's look very much. Which makes me sad because I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be Little Miss Forge. LOL

When they first showed the game off I remember thinking "yeah, that's cool, I'm looking forward to this, but it's coming out Next Year & we're not even halfway done with 2024." Well now we're almost two thirds of the way through the year. And they keep dropping gameplay trailers. And they look hype as fuck!! And now I'm feeling more impatient!!! I wanna try this shit out soon!!! I wonder if they'll drop a public demo after Gamescom or something. I wonder if my computer could even run it...

I liked the way Hunting Horn played in "Rise" but it's cool to see the more traditional recitals back. (But faster!! And with new combo paths!!) I think I've spent a cumulative hour or two watching that horn trailer over and over again for little details. The funny bubble reminds me of bead of resonance but it seems like it might also be some kind of AoE team buff? It could also just be extra damage like bead was. But I loved bead. So I'll take it. Being a Hunting Horn fan is accepting that you'll be playing an entirely different weapon in every subsequent game, so I suppose I fuss less about whether or not it plays like any one specific game. But mannnnnn it looks cool as hell this time around.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Honestly I don’t understand the hate behind “toxic” ships in fiction, I personally couldn’t care less what people ship as long as it’s entirely fictional and they aren’t condoning the actions of the characters. Sure I’ll still block someone if their ships make me uncomfortable, but I have a “ship and let ship” type of view on these things.

Exactly. I'm just SO tired and so done with this shit. The Cookie Run fandom has always been shit to some degree, since CROB first came out, but CRK brought in whole legions of people who haven't seen grass in years and it's just sad at this point lol. So long as they're both adults (ZERO tolerance for adult/minor ships at all times, fuck that shit), why does it matter? It's fiction. No one is being harmed. Explore whatever concept or dynamic you wish. Wholesome, toxic, everything in between. Just remember to maintain a healthy level of detachment from it all; don't get mad if people don't ship the same ships you do, don't get wrapped up in discourse or arguing or anything. Doesn't do anyone any good, including you and me.

There are plenty of ships I don't like (in general, even outside of Cookie Run). I am anti-FireWind and always will be. ShadowSpice makes less than zero sense to me, like wtf are you people on about lol. Hollytaya gives me rabies and I hate remembering it exists (God I hate Hollytaya so fucking much it is absolutely unreal lmao). Guess what? I block the ship tags and go about my business. I don't go out of my way to look for ship art or fics, nor do I bother people who ship any of those (or any other ships I don't like). I have friends and acquaintances that ship these three that I've listed, and I don't think any less of them for it. It's all good in the neighborhood. All shipping is at the end of the day is playing dollhouse. Getting mad at people for playing with the dolls in the "wrong" way is dumb and pathetic lol. Live and let live. Hate the ship, not the shipper.

Just don't call me names. Don't accuse me of terrible things because I like hero/villain ships, the enemies to lovers trope, and/or exploring darker topics or relationships in writing. It's FICTION. No fucking shit that stuff is wrong and I don't condone it irl, the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of person do you take me (or anyone else like me) for? I get so goddamn irritated with the shit I see getting hurled at Beast x Ancient shippers regularly, especially on Twitter. People get harassed, people get outright doxed and threatened. All that over fictional talking cookies? You're the ones who need help, not us lol. You don't have to like BurningCheese, you don't have to like Beasts x Ancients, you don't have to like Heroes x Villains at all. That is perfectly understandable, that trope is not for everyone. But don't do that shit. Don't call us misogynists, or abusers, or anything else like that. Those are serious and damning accusations. You've got a lot of nerve saying that to people you don't even fucking know, especially from behind the comfort and safety of a computer screen. Frankly, you cheapen what those horrible things really mean by hurling them at random strangers so carelessly. You think words in a document or lines on a screen compares to real-world violence against innocent people? You think because I toy with the concept of some little buff spicy cookie dude having an evil crush on a little winged cookie lady, I want real people to be harmed? Fuck you for that. I am VERY familiar with the horrors of violent crime, BELIEVE ME WHEN I FUCKING SAY THAT. I hate bad people as much as the next guy, probably more so, because again, I AND MANY I KNOW PERSONALLY HAVE SEEN SHIT IRL, SO DON'T FUCKING COME AND TELL ME I ENDORSE REAL CRIMES WHEN I AM THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH WHO WOULD. Fiction allows us to bask in the light or be engulfed by shadows as much as we wish, while being able to safely disengage and return to real life without any pain or discomfort being inflicted on ourselves or others afterwards. All of this morality and media-enjoyment policing is just the newest incarnation of the fundies that tried to paint Pokemon as satanic, or those pearl-clutching dipshits on the news and in government that insisted that people would become carjacking homicidal maniacs because they play Grand Theft Auto. It's fucking stupid and a waste of time.

I'll say it one more time: YOU. DO. NOT. HAVE. TO. SHIP. BURNINGCHEESE. OR. ANY. OTHER. BEAST X ANCIENT PAIRS. You are entitled to your thoughts and feelings and ships. Block the tags and move along. Block users if you have to. Better yet, turn off your computer and go spend time with real people. There's more to life than Twitter or Tumblr or these wack ass games about cookies, I promise. None of this matters, man. I have a Bill Cipher plushie as my avatar. I post silly dumb memes half the time, and then just ramble nonsensically about Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady the other half. This shit is stupid. We're all stupid for liking these games in the first place. They suck. We all suck. Write what you want, draw what you want, mind your own damn business and I'll mind mine

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 58 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 57.1 | lesson 57.2 | lesson 58.2 | lesson 59

throwing us back into the SF after the last lesson's cliffhanger was indeed a choice

i wanted him so become a demon so bad y'all don't understand 💔 i'm happy that they didn't do a full 180 and turn him back into an angel though bc his fall was so pivotal to his character arc

this is actually really interesting. i wonder how much of his angel-ness is in his genetic/physical makeup, too, considering the fact that he still has demonic genes despite never fully turning into one

i feel like the different sets of genes battling for power also explains why he seemed emotionally off and physically sick when we found out he was turning into a demon. maybe he was like 95% human and 5% angel up until a certain point

we know that mammon's skin has burns on it from the celestial jewelry he used to wear, so maybe their angelic genetic makeup got physically and chemically destroyed during their fall. maybe simeon's body still had some kind of angelic genetic makeup until he started turning into a demon, and then the demonic genes destroyed whatever angelic part was left of him

either the celestial realm didn't know about what would happened to simeon when he became human and spent excessive time in the devildom, or they didn't care and wanted him to suffer the possibility of transforming into one due to overexposure as an extra cruel punishment

part of me wants to believe that they didn't know bc of the way raphael reacted, but i still don't trust michael. at ALL.

idk i'm yapping

i still want simeon to turn into a demon but i don't want him to have to go through the physical and emotional pain it takes to get there. but i also don't want him to suffer through not able to physically be there for raph and luke bc he don't he allowed back in the celestial realm if he's a demon. UGH

ahhhh yes i love it when the stakes are raised

but are they really raised when we know that simeon's not gonna die? probably...hopefully

idk maybe that teaser really did mean something...

i'm very glad that it isn't just a one-and-done kinda solution though. that makes it more engaging

see every time i wanna praise him for thinking of something smart and sweet and kind he ALWAYS has to bring a profit into the situation 😭 this mf

also "fartin' around" ?? (i can't believe i just typed that) LET MY MAN SAY FUCK. we all know it's what he meant

beel just like me bc my dumbass didn't know what the fuck a manchineel was. googled it to see if it was a real word

if y'all could've heard the sigh i just let out 😭 it's okay though. it's fine

i'm a little less mad bc it's what simeon himself said that he wants. even though he said he never really felt like an angel in the way that the rest of the celestial realm angels did but whatever. i think he's doing it in part because he does miss being an angel, but mainly because he wants to be able to be there for luke and raphael after seeing how his transformation affected them, and he won't be able to be there in the way that he wants or the way that they need him to be if he's not an angel, or at least allowed in the celestial realm

honestly if he turns into a demon atp it's just the devs fucking with him just bc they like to torture his character 😭 like imagine the potion is something that reveals someone's "innermost desires" or the race that their soul is destined to be and he ends up not being an angel ??? luke especually would be devastated

the fact that they have to go all the way back to the cave where they met cerberus to find the last ingredient feels kinda full circle. i feel like they knew the game was ending here

bc why else would the apple be in a place that solidified the brothers' positions and status into what we know them as in the present day

this also makes me kinda sad bc there was so much potential to explore the time paradox shit they alluded to all throughout the game

from the characters in the past feeling like the guest room was a second home

to the brothers in the past feeling intrinsically connected to mc despite never having seen them before

to the characters in the present feeling like they hadn't seen mc in months and crying uncontrollably for seemingly no reason

and now this...

i did the other option too just to see what levi's reaction was and GOD i wish we had more than 2 lessons left

are they gonna make barbatos time travel to get the apple? what if they travel to the exact time that mc and the brothers went there and the gang ends up seeing mc in the past through barbatos' portal? UGH i wish they did more with the time travel stuff it would've been so cool

[famdommcfanface]

An analysis of alcemy for the Magnus Protocol!

I have just finished the episode I have found a list of alchemical symbols let's fucking gooo baby. Just to clarify it is my belief these are the new entities. I know it would probably be better if they were less rigidly defined but I love sorting things and am hyped!!! This is going to be long so strap in (not all of those though they're just to illustrate)! I am so sorry if you use dark mode (like me!) these images are almost all transparent.

1: Mercury!

Referring to both the metal and the planet, go wild. Mercury is all about transcending boundaries as it's kind of both a solid and a liquid (it's not but whatever), specifically the boundary of life and death, possibly even transcend death. That seems relevant. Also related to snakes so if snakes show up... probably mercury. Also if we ever get some sort of white queen in a chess way? Mercury. It also represents the mind, or spirit maybe? It's got a lot going on. Colin said it'd make the world end. Fuck yeah probably why not.

2: Salt

This is one that is not included on one list I have but is on the other. I'm not guaranteeing all of these are significant I'm finding it hard to find a definite list. If you look into just all the alchemical symbols they've got loads and I doubt they're all significant. Anyway. Salt is the physical body in this trifecta (we'll come onto that). Very to do with physicality, the body, honestly might manifest in a few ways similar to the Flesh. Also to do with purification? In general but also 'purifying' the body which I think medieval people meant in a good way but sounds evil to me. There is also of course, seperate to the whole alchemy thing, salt circles and all that. You've seen supernatural you know what I'm talking about. Although that's also to do with purification.

3: Sulphur

Or sulfur, if you are American. This one's actually got a few different symbols but let's go with this one for now. Honestly, and I know we shouldn't be comparing these to the TMA entities, but this one's pretty desolation. It's all dry heat and masculine destructive energy. Yeah this one's 'masculine' and mercury's 'feminine' for some reason, I doubt that will come up. Which I guess makes salt non-binary. This is the red king, too. This is the soul in the 'tria prima', Mercury, salt and sulphur, which were the three first elements apparently, and also cause disease? Idk. That might be relevant. Hell's meant to smell of sulphur, that tells you most of what you need to know. Again, we've all seen Supernatural. Colin said something about this making you go mad. I think yeah sure but less spiral-type mad more slaughter-type mad.

4: Air

Right, onto the four basic elements. These all have a humour related to them too and air has blood for some reason. Air is life and light and God and passion and all that good shit. I have to imagine it's gonna have some vast shit going on too because I don't think Jonny can help himself, but it's also to do with being changable and generally quite nice. Oh also ideas and creativity. All that good shit!

5: Earth

Basically the opposite of air. The 'masculine counterpart' as all these websites keep saying. It's associated with salt, which makes sense, and is all about stillness and being grounded and again, I feel like there's going to be some buried attributes in there. It's got the humour black bile which is all about sadness and shit. Most of the four basic elements are fairly self-explanatory.

6: Fire

You know what fire does. Passion, emotion, love and hate and all that. Although honestly in an alchemical way fire seems to be more emotional. So far (and I am writing these as I look into them) if you want something based around physical destruction you're gonna wanna look at sulphur. Its humour is yellow bile.

7: Water

Water, humour is phlegm, connected to mercury, honestly alchemically I can't find anyone having much to say about it but y'know. It's water. BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT WATER. Okay so this has gotta be the deep, right? The whole mix of the buried and the vast thing with the sea? That killed the girl Alice saw? Or at least was involved with the death. It's all very water.

8: Lead

Right, onto planetary metals! Which Mercury kind of also was but hey ho. So, Lead is associated with Saturn. So, alchemists believed that lead was the base metal, that all other metals were just lead that had turned into something else. Which means it's really important but also kinda sucks, and is why people kept trying to make it into gold. So lead is also to do with change but also kind of purity as they thought it 'purified' into gold. Also associated with the Roman god Saturn/Greek god Chronos, who are both to do with time so that might be involved.

9: Tin

To do with the planet Jupiter. It seems to be connected to wisdom and maturity and education and all that. BUT ALSO. It is connected to Lady Mowbray, hell yeah. Because I watched a video about the arg and noted that on the back of Lady M's assistant's clipboard or whatever is this symbol which I recognised at the time as Jupiter! Now. What does tin have to do with dogs and eating people. As far as I can tell fuck all. I thought I'd misremembered for a moment and it was actually the Saturn symbol because that would work with cannibalism at least but no Lady Mowbray seems to serve... tin. Which is kind of funny. I get the connection to nobility at least, Jupiter is king of the gods after all, but as far as I know he doesn't hunt people with dogs? Idk.

10: Iron

Related to Mars and, as I'm sure you can tell, men. Because these fuckers loved gender. Similar to fire it's all about anger and passion, but also seeing as Mars is the god of war I don't think it's beyond belief we've got something similar to the slaughter on our hands here.

11: Gold

Connected to the sun and therefore does not have a classical god I can interpret. Damn. Maybe Apollo? Gold is about having gay lovers. No. So gold's big thing is that it doesn't corrode. Something about staying as you are, the opposite of Air's changability, sort of similar to earth... I could make something out of this.

12: Copper

Well hello ladies. Copper actually has a cooler symbol but I suspect we're sticking with these. Connected to Venus, obviously, which is all about attractiveness and desirability because copper is a very pretty metal. Personally, I would say episode 2 is to do with copper. I don't know if ink5oul themself is (I think they might sort of span entities) but what's her name from the episode and her obsession with looking good seems very copper to me. I know I'm not sorting all these episodes (yet! I have to relisten first) but this one jumped out at me. Copper is also to do with love, of course. I feel like one reason maybe the desire theory got so big is a lot of alchemical elements are to do with love and desire, so that just sort of bled through?

13: Silver

That's right, it's the moon! Very to do with mystery and weird shit. I think if you get the non-literal elements of The Dark you've got Silver. Also keeps away evil, again, Supernatural. Although it also has to do with tides so I think there is a very small chance that actually this is the Deep? I doubt it though.

14: Antimony

So I wasn't going to do the mundane elements because they're less likely to be important (you'll see) but some of them are really interesting! I might not do them all. Anyway, antimony is about the wild and animalistic side of human nature, and is to do with wolves. That remind you of anyone? A certain... aristocratic milf? I know she's connected to tin but it should be antimony okay??

15: Arsenic

Arsenic is cool, we all know it. It's my mum's favourite element on the periodic table. Anyway. Swans? It's to do with swans. Apparently it transforms its appearance like a cygnet to a swan. It also fucking kills people which I'm not convinced the alchmists were aware of.

16: Bismuth

Nobody knows what they were doing with bismuth. RIP. Also, I don't know my astronomy but that is taurus. Does that mean anything? I looked into the metal; it's quite pretty and people get it mixed up with tin.

17: Magnesium

Oh boy. It's hard to extinguish once it's lit, so it represents eternity! That's gotta be something babyy! Some combination of the end and the vast and all that.

18: Phosphorus

They thought phosphorus trapped light. I know it's easy to say this from a modern perspective but alchemists were fucking dumb. I feel like I could disprove this. But they were the first scientists so we have to be nice to them I guess...

19: Platinum

Supposedly a combination of gold and silver, hence the symbol. Possibly something about being bound to something... idk.

20: Potassium

Or potash. Didn't seem to have much historical context. But I believe it has very important modern context.

21: Zinc

They burned zinc to get what they called 'white snow'. You fucking idiots snow is already white.

That's it! Honourable mention to horse dung, which is a more obscure element but gets its own symbol and everything.

also soap and urine and all sorts of shit so I think we should stop there. What have we learnt? Possibly nothing! One of these has got to be to do with plants - I assume earth? That would make sense. One's something to do with luck from the sounds of things and I have no idea what that is, hopefully someone knows more about alchemy than I do for that. There's definitely some sort of watcher and I think either that's the eye crossed into this dimension or possibly mercury? I don't think the names are going to be these because honestly imagine Lady Mowbray being like hey I serve Tin. She's probably going to say Jupiter but we all have to know in our heart of hearts. It's just fucking tin. I am very tired I am going to bed.

[bekkachaos]

BRIDGERTON THOUGHTS PRT 2 !

Send help it's literally more Polin I can't help it!

Once again, spoilers ahead for S3 part 2 so keep scrolling if you don't want em! This is my part 1.

It might be an unpopular opinion, but there was too much angst for me. Colin was too angsty for too long, and I know it was only really an episode and a half, But I felt like we got too much of book Colin's bad side and not enough understanding. Like I very much get it and he had a very valid reason for being hurt, but it was dragged almost to the very end of the last episode and I just wish there would have been a little less.

The constant asking if she was going to give up Whistledown kind of annoyed me and how cold he was every time they had that conversation just broke my heart a little bit for Penelope.

I know so much has been changed from books to show, but it's strange that in the book he knows about Whistledown before anything really happens, I mean they have that first kiss where she asks him to but everything else happens after he already knows. So for him to be so cold. Just made me feel sad. I understand it in the context of the show but still.

And something I really disliked was when they're in the room where they're going to have their wedding breakfast and Penelope asks something along the lines of "if you still want to marry me" and he says "I'm a man of honour and we were intimate", I really hate that it came to suggesting he would marry her out of obligation, It just really rubbed me the wrong way. And I wish it had been something along the lines of. "I love you Penelope and I want to marry you. I just don't know if I can forgive you for this", which he'd already said, but I would way rather that have been put out there than to ever even imply that he could marry her out of obligation. I know he was mad and betrayed and jealous, But that one line really bothers me. I've made a whole post basically saying this word for word but that's how strongly I feel about it! Like I get it from Colin's perspective and how he's grappling with it, I do, I just didn't like it.

Also, Colin never actually said sorry? For treating her like shit after he found out. Like I do think his feelings were valid and that he deserved to be upset, but he never said sorry for some of the stuff he said and for being cold even though Penelope apologised so many times.

Luke's emotion though when Colin found out and in the conversations after was incredible, when the tear fell at the end of ep 6 my heart stopped and then broke into tiny pieces!

Something about their pairing that I really like though is that they both feel inherently unlovable for one reason or another (Penelope has always felt completely unloved and overlooked, and Colin has always felt people showed him affections for shallow reasons and not actually for who he is), but both of them prove to each other over and over again how much they love the other and know the other and see them in a way no-one else does.

HOWEVER, I'm not sure they did a good enough job portraying Colin's side of this (I'll update on my rewatch send help). Not sure his coldness and hesitation was addressed enough as jealousy as it could have been. The scene where Penelope says "just love me and hold me and kiss me, what holds you back" and he says "I don't know" like was that just a little abrupt or was that just me? Because from the book I could follow that it's the jealousy of how accomplished she is but not sure the general audience picks up on that.

AND ANOTHER THING, there was absolutely not enough making up after everything was resolved with Whistledown, I needed more love and kisses and softness after the ball!

I know there were things being added to set up for the next season, but damn it was already 70 minutes long, what's 5 more of sweet and in love Polin??

Gotta say though, all of them with their babies in the end was adorable, and you can't deny the last shot kissing in the sunlight of the drawing room (where Penelope spent so much time staring out the window pining after Colin) was so fucking romantic! And the shot with their little baby boy, love!

One last thing, did they spend an exorbitant amount of time dancing or is that just me? Almost as much time as they all spent drinking lemonade in eps 1-4

Overall I loved their story, it's been my favourite pairing so far. Not sure any of the others will top it for me, but time will tell! Episodes 4-5 were definitely my favourites by a long shot!

Okay okay imma do part 3 with my thoughts on everything else 😂

[boy-above]

hello my beloved followers i realized i haven't given a life update or really talked much lately so i shall now

my mom has officially moved out so it's just me and my dad now. things are honestly kind of nice because my mom has hoarding tendencies so our house was always full of shit we didn't need and all the clutter and mess everywhere was kind of oppressive. everything is so clean and organized now so i'm kind of enjoying it. but i feel bad for enjoying it because yknow, it's my mom and i miss my mom and i feel bad for finding positives. but also, my mom is doing a bad job hiding that she kind of resents me, i guess because i get to stay in the house and continue living the life she can't anymore. she keeps saying "your life isn't changing at all" as if she wishes my life Did change, like that i would get uprooted like she did, which i think is kind of a fucked up thing to wish for your child. she just seems angry that i haven't been falling to my knees crying in front of her over the whole thing; my whole life she's always judged me because i don't Perform Emotion the way she expects me to, ie she doesn't like my autism. i'm not someone who cries very much, i probably have a genuine cry maybe once every six months or even less. and i especially don't cry in front of people. but she can't fathom the idea of being sad without crying about it, so she's convinced i'm not sad at all about being separated from her and even said i was happy about it at one point which just pissed me off.

so tbh she kinda created a self fulfilling prophecy, i was sad about her leaving and my life changing like this, but as she started acting more and more resentful about it it's making me not miss her as much. and i mean, yeah, there's definitely stuff i'm not gonna fucking miss about her lmao. here's a list <3

• she has hoarding tendencies so no more clutter everywhere. everything now is so clean and organized, we actually have space in our house, especially in our dining room and basement. we could barely walk through our laundry room before.

• she would buy things in bulk and hoard them because they were on sale, ignoring that people less fortunate than us could have used those sales way more. all my friends know about the great 20 Sticks Of Butter In Our Fridge saga.

• she would buy things she knows we don't use because they're on sale, and when we didn't use them she'd still get mad about it. she accused me of wasting food constantly despite buying things i never asked for. i have ARFID on account of my autism so she knows there's only a few foods i eat but she would still buy foods she knows i wont eat and get mad about it anyway.

• NO MORE DIGGING THROUGH MY FUCKING TRASH. this woman used to dig through my trash because she's allergic to throwing things out. she would buy clear trash bags just so she could scan the garbage easily. the worst one was when i threw out some underwear because they were getting old and stained, and she bragged about taking them out of my trash and wearing them herself because they fit her, and scolded me for "wasting them". disgusting!! lmao!!

• no seriously this is genuinely freeing. i can throw things away now. i can donate things i dont want. i dont have to vet every fucking item with my mom before it leaves this house. because usually what would happen is that she'd say "i can sell this, i'm going to put it in the yard sale" and then it would be in our house for a decade longer because it wouldn't sell in any yard sale we had. like there's legit stuff in her yard sale stash that i wanted to get rid of 15 years ago and she's just held on to because surely this will be the year she gets five dollars for it! surely!

• no more becoming enraged if i have the nerve to lock the door because she thinks she's entitled to access to me 24/7. i would say no more barging in without knocking, but she still does that every time she comes over to our house anyway 🙃

• no more eating my stuff. like this isn't as bad as the others but it always pissed me off when i'd ask for a pie or something similar and i'd get one piece and the next day it would be gone. she would say i "wasn't eating it" and say how she Had to eat it because it would have gone to waste if she didn't. she doesn't understand that normal people don't eat an entire pie in one sitting, so she really will just eat my whole fucking pie and then tell me i was gonna waste it because i didn't inhale it all at once. and yes she would do this on my birthday with cakes and the like as well. eat my whole fucking birthday cake 🙃

there's a lot more i could get into, i had a whole post a while back about how sexually inappropriate she was with us as children so i'm always going to have resentment towards her for that, but i wont get into that right now.

ANYWAY yeah ive just been adjusting to living alone with my dad and it's honestly been pretty good. and i hate to say this but i think it would have sucked a lot more to live only with my mom. in fact i kinda think it would have been a nightmare. the reason i stayed with my dad was because he kept the house, and i refuse to move out of this house lol. it does make me feel bad that i haven't visited with my mom very much but like i said her acting like kind of a bitch about the whole thing is not helping her case here.

besides uhhhhhh all of that, i've been doing not very great. i've been feeling really lonely, i crave attention from strangers that i'm never gonna get, and ive been trying to draw but it feels kinda pointless because i know not many people will care. it doesn't help that i have ajawnich brainrot but none of my friends like them so i can't really talk about them 🥲 i'm currently drawing my pookies and trying to have a "this is for me" attitude but it does make me sad rip. i've also been struggling with things like personal hygiene and keeping my room clean, it's an absolute mess right now and it's stressing me out just looking at it. i've at least had fun playing infinity nikki lately and i think perhaps i should post about it here more.

anyway uhhhhh i love you guys thanks for sticking around, i've been losing followers lately bc i'm annoying so thanks to all those that are still here

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/5/2024: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994)

I'm sorry, but this movie fucking sucks. I hadn't seen it in decades and I thought it was probably "OK"; I devoured the books as a kid and I didn't remember hating the film, but I should have realized that it was a red flag that I didn't love it. I have now discovered that it's bad enough that it failed to thrill me when I was a morose little horror dork who was really the target audience, and as an adult I can hardly stand it.

Daniel Molloy (Christian Slater, dressed up as Art Spiegelman for some reason) interviews for-realsies vampire Louis (Brad Pitt, still looking like he spends a lot of time in the sun) about life with his master Lestat (Tom Cruise, who knows why) and their eternally-childlike daughter Claudia (poor li'l Kirsten Dunst). Suddenly I feel like I don't know what to say about this, as I'm writing, even though I enjoyed the book and also the superior-in-every-single-way TV show. You know. Louis is really sad about being a monster. Lestat is really happy about being a monster. Claudia is really mad about being a monster. They have interpersonal problems. Later they meet some other vampires, and have interpersonal problems with them. At the end Louis is angry with Daniel for not getting the point, but maybe neither did I.

To some degree the problems of the movie are the problems of the book, but on the page they're basically forgivable for various reasons. I'm probably not going to refresh my memory, but as I recall Anne Rise has a way of really drawing you into her world, which is so literally-sensational that it makes up for her boy-crazy humorlessness. Everybody basically has one characteristic, outlined above, but the visceral pleasure of the prose takes over--and to be totally fair, it was novel at the time. It was the vampire story we had all been waiting to hear. (Ok, so the book is from 1978 but it still felt fresh in 1994) But when you port all that to the screen and leave the telling to these actors who are almost universally miscast, it all just lies there, dead.

I thought my hesitation about rewatching this was related to my petty aversion to Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise specifically. I really don't enjoy either of them in general, and I also felt like they were profoundly wrong for the roles; neither of them could be less goth, less tortured, less otherworldly. It feels criminal to fill these classic queer outsider roles with alpha males who seem like they would have beaten up your weird gay friends in high school, and their performances are not remotely good enough to make up for this impression. Kirsten Dunst is perfectly awful but like...you just can't have a 12 year old playing a person who is any older than 12. It cannot work. It's not her fault, it's just a bad idea.

The only guy who is any good at all in this is Stephen Rea, a staple of director Neil Jordan's films, who I almost didn't even recognize because his Santiago is so uncanny and dynamic and fun despite having very little to do. I love the way his look references LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, it made me wonder how much more could have been done by subtly comparing Rice's vampires with their cultural predecessors. Rea lights up every scene he's in because he's so mischievous and unpredictable, and he's also almost the only person with any standout stunts--which helps me segue into the other main gripe I had with this movie, that it is incredibly stiff and static. It's like a prison. Everyone is totally weighed down by their giant ridiculous wigs and seven layer costumes, so even though the movie is supposed to be all sensual and shit, it's like nobody can even move.

Dealing with INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is making me realize that I'm not quite sure what I think about Neil Jordan. I have this kneejerk reaction that he is Great because THE CRYING GAME is such an institution, and MONA LISA is real good too, but I might have found all of his other movies kind of humorless and stiff and like, beautiful but not altogether meaningful. I really struggle with THE COMPANY OF WOLVES because of its terrific FX and handful of fun scenes, but there is something about it that fails to connect with me. Sometimes it's overly pretentious, I mean paralleling a maiden's coming of age with the blood on the white roses is like...pretty gross, dude. But overall there is something about it that just lacks substance, despite its relentless and oppressive Symbolism. It seems like this problem should have been smoothed out for INTERVIEW since it was shot from Anne Rice's own script, but according to me, it really does not work out.

[mayisgoingnuts]

JJD-fying Random Characters (PT 5)

(PS this shit is WAY longer than the past ones because I got way too excited midway)

On that one scene, Dexter managed to contain himself and not panic inside the box that Jaune brought, what made them simply throw it away as fast as possible instead of throwing it in the oven,, they were more traumatized rather than protecting themselves tbh, just,, JUST THROW THAT DOLL AWAY.

On that way to escape Lila's house and go kill something, him and JJD finally meet up again, she IMMEDIATELY recognized his voice but also how weirdly aggressive he is (more than he normally was), what only made him go from top 3 to top 1 on her list

Howeverrr of course: "I'm a doll, you dumb bitch!" and she couldn't do anything. But that's why we got magic on our side right

JJD was acting like a damn hungry puppy asking for help to Atticus cuz she knew damn well that he could, but of course her own goals are just a bunch of stupidity to him. His ass wouldn't waste time on her and she'd need to di something to deserve it

And despite not doing almost anything in the cult she CAN be useful as FUCK, she simply chooses to do only the bare minimum, and oh boy the ammount of sacrifices he got for some time (until a certain date that was like a deadline). The girl was DETERMINED.

Sooo yeah, Atticus did tried to trick her and not give anything in the end but she let it clear that if she reached the date and Atticus don't keep his promise, she'd get him infront of the whole cult. Would she die? Of fucking COURSE. But does she has the guts to do so?? YES ASWELL. He had a reputation to keep-

So Atticus did it like giving a phone to distract a brat and went "alr take this shit don't tell anyone and go have fun"

The amulet basically get supernatural beings (like demons or ghosts or monsters in general) to feel the sensation of tickling aswell, nothing more and nothing less. Silly and dumb BUT it was Dexter's doom cuz now JJD's dreams came true

You can easily count that as kidnapping to be honest KAJDHDK,, JJD just took him to herself, that's it. Where she goes he'll go and the other way around. Did Dexter liked it? Bruh he was pure NERVES in the beginning, he never felt so much rage, every opportunity he had to try killing her he would give it a shot (yes, she let him have a knife and never took it from him)

Buuuuut it kinda got less worse with time? It began with the fact that the first time he was going nuts because of his needs JJD actually leaved and brought him like, 2 stray cats for him to kill and then went back to sleep. He thought she was messing with him but he noticed it was for real when he tested her and she once again began to walk around with him searching for animals to kill (wanting or not she knows how it feels to have a need, she wouldn't call it empathy but "basic logic")

And after some time JJD is A LITTLE more sufferable and her "peaks of boredom" weren't as bad, still annoying as fuck but now that he basically don't got the physical consequences of it it's way better,, although he still hates them. JJD is unable to shut the fuck up after all /silly but asides from that she's less of a bitch than he imagined

Dexter would still not be sad or mad if JJD died and neither would she if he died-DIED (but she avoids because Dexter benefits her A LOT) and it's kind of a consent that they're getting along SOMETIMES to not make things annoying for both of them, plus he managed to get a few things that staying with Skid or even as a human he wasn't allowed to have, such as just satisfy his needs without having to be careful about it/dealing with consequences, a bodyguard 24/7 and the privilege of going to places and do whatever shit you want because they'll never get you

Those mfs are the definition of "unhealthily healthy", I have NO other ways to describe it, they're both weirdos /aff and I love both of them so much

Mayhaps they can grow into an actual friendship but now that depends on timelines and shit that I like to create ksbdjshdjs

Taglist: @merwynsartblog @clownazon @dismissivedestroyer @jonesy-squish

[honeygrahambitch]

WHATS A HANNIGRAM CODED TAYLOR SWIFT SONG

The perfect ask doesn't exi-

I have prepared for this my whole life. Here is a list of hannigram coded taylor swift songs.

Look what you made me do

it's sexy and petty and it's the perfect Will Graham in salmon shirt revenge song but it's also very Hannibal in Mizumono coded.

2. I did something bad

perfect for both of them and especially for Will discovering that killing people makes him feel stuff that he shouldn't

3. Back to december (I am feral about this one)

perfect for them. chef's kiss. You can listen to it and think about Mizumono or about Digestivo, depends what kind of pain you want.

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

this is so Will Graham thinking about Mizumono and also Hannibal surrendering to the FBI cause he doesn't need freedom if he cannot have Will.

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This lyrics too because it's the tea cup motif, turning back the time, which is exactly what Hannibal wanted to do in digestivo. And also related to Will's regrets about Mizumono.

4. Mastermind

Perfect for them both, from beginning to end. Nothing to add than some very fitting lyrics.

I knew I wanted your body I laid the groundwork, and then Just like clockwork The dominoes cascaded in a line What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine It was all my design

5. Better than revenge (more as crack if you want to think of it from Hannibal's pov towards Molly lol)

6. Right where you left me

season 3b coded, breaks you to pieces if you imagine them and the glass wall in between.

7. Wonderland

I reached for you, but you were gone I knew I had to go back home You searched the world for somethin' else To make you feel like what we had And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

them in season 3a, Hannibal trying to replace Will with Anthony but it was in vain.

8. Come back, be here

Will grieving after Hannibal left

9. Hoax

there is so much to say about this one, I find it very fitting

My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My win-less fight This has frozen my ground

(...)

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

(...)

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark

you can think about all the pain they have inflicted into each other and each time they have betrayed each other

10. I almost do

11. Sad Beautiful Tragic

so so so hannigram coded

We both wake In lonely beds In different cities And time Is taking its sweet time erasing you And you've got your demons And darlin' they all look like me

12. Ivy (which is considered to be a very queer song)

I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed

13. Willow (a lil more cheesy)

14. The lakes

hannigram coded because they don't fit in the normal world. And the lyrics sound like something Hannibal would say

15. Vigilante shit

as petty and sexy as Look what you made me do

16. Bad blood

doesn't need any explanation

17. No body, no crime

for the whole arc of Will trying to convince everyone Hannibal framed him

18. Getaway Car

Mizumono coded

19. The Great War

twotl coded

All that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, sweet dream was over My hand was the one you reached for All throughout the Great War

(...)

It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on my hair pin triggers Soldier down on that icy ground Looked up at me with honor and truth Broken and blue, so I called off the troops That was the night I nearly lost you I really thought I lost you

and this part very Mizumono coded

20. Peace

they are both problematic for each other

21. The Alcott

describes the Uffizi Gallery scene. Like, in perfect detail.

22. My tears ricochet

23. Illicit Affairs

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

24. Last kiss

for when Hannibal is locked up

25. Haunted

26. Cowboy like me

especially because Will is from the south lol

I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one

Hope this helps!

[queenvhagar]

While I can understand people being frustrated with Alicent’s writing this season, I do have to admit that some people seem to take it a little bit too far. Like I literally had to leave the green Reddit because people were being straight up nasty towards Alicent.

So people can still enjoy Aegon and Aemond despite the shit writing they’ve been given but fans aren’t allowed to like Alicent anymore? Again, I understand people not being happy with the writing for Alicent (trust me im pissed too) but idk some of things said makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t know, I feel like as an alicent fan (and even as an alicole shipper) the fandom just feels… less inviting know, ya know? I now just enjoy her S1 and book characterization but seeing how much hate Alicent is getting honestly makes me both sad and mad cause it means that Ryan Condal making her a rage bait this season essentially worked.

Sorry if im bothering you, i just needed to vent to someone😅

Her writing this entire season has definitely just been rage bait and it's working for both her critics and her fans.

For me, it's just completely turned me away from the show, and particularly the Dragonstone scene in the finale is the last straw in terms of her character being completely ruined. This writing choice has made her objectively one of the most pathetic and despicable characters in my opinion in ways that the real Alicent is not. I've kind of separated her characterization this season and particularly the finale, which is ultimately rage-inducing and worthy of criticism, from her real character that exists in the books and was hinted at in moments in season 1.

Her show character is not something I can enjoy at all post-Dragonstone, and while the character assassination has been strong for show Aemond and show Aegon (and all the other Greens), it has yet to be so completely illogical that it absolutely breaks the story and character and the role they play in the story. So this might be where other people are coming from when they say they can be fans of other Greens but not Alicent anymore.

I'm just checked out and can't even go along with the idea that any version of Alicent would do what she does because it goes completely against everything essential to her character. If I was still able to have immersion in the story and the ability to try to think through or justify her choices and motivation or find any connection or coherency in her character change over time, I might have more to say about her, but that's gone for me. It is just so transparent what the writers are trying to do with her, the Greens, and the Blacks that I no longer have any buy-in with this show as something that feasibly could exist in-universe. It's like I can see the writers manipulating and changing the story so strongly to fit their specific vision in every scene that I can't even view the story or characters independently from that anymore.

So yeah, I'm not a show Alicent fan anymore (nor am I a show fan after this). But book Alicent will always be supreme. That's the real Alicent. And I prefer the book versions of basically every other character as well.

I suppose people can still be a fan of show Alicent and try to justify her choices, but it definitely will continue to get harder and harder to defend her because the writers are clearly and so transparently determined to completely humiliate and butcher her character to uplift Rhaenyra and fans will be continue to be critical of her because of this targeted writing, unfortunately.

And the sad result is the fandom will just get more toxic 😓 take care out there and definitely feel free to avoid spaces that are getting too hostile or leaning into the misogynistic hate that the writers are inviting fans to direct at Alicent through their misogynistic writing.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

to complain about sims more i'm still pissed the sims 4 is a gutted corpse of a mmo no one wanted. and that’s not the developers fault! genuinely, the sims development team seems really sweet and friendly and skilled, they were never the issue. something i've always appreciated about the sims is that the developers have always had a very positive relationship with the fans and their creations, they’ve always been super encouraging towards modding and cc and i genuinely think it’s awesome of them. mad respect to the devs for even making the sims 4 functional when it had to shift genre completely halfway through development they have to be insanely skilled to even get it functional and i don’t think they deserve any animosity. as far as i can tell, they’re a bunch of smart, kind, and clever people doing their best with a game doomed to fail to begin with.

but like. the fact the sims 4 was even meant to be such a genre shift is disgusting. genuinely fucking appalling behaviour from ea. like it completely strips the series of it’s identity and is a blatant slap in the face to its core audience. like, the sims audience is just straight up different to a lot of other games. it’s incredibly diverse, of course- more so than any other I’ve seen- but it tends to skew older, skew female, and skew towards those with an interest in programming and/or storytelling. and while obviously not all of them will dislike mmos, older adults have jobs and kids to care for, and those with an interest in creating their own mods or stories either cant or have to do it collaboratively. a lot of these are people who got into the sims specifically because of the features it’d lose as an mmo! and it’s such an insult they’d throw so many people under the bus for a quick cash grab and then leave their devs with a barely functioning mess when they got backlash from simcity.

and they’re!!! still trying to find ways to exploit the sims and make it online to get even more money from its audience! these are devoted people, they’d have to be to spend enough money to play the sims, and ea keeps looking to exploit that loyalty to get people to pay for products they KNOW they don’t want bc they’d rather scam people out of money than make good games for slightly less money. and it’s so fucking sad. all respects to the devs for trying to make the sims 4 fun and functional you all did a really great job with the parts you were given but like the sims 4 is an example of corporate greed (and performative activism- ea Says all this shit about diversity but I don’t forget that they whitewashed sims in the beginning including the franchises mascot like they were so scared of having a woman of colour as their icon) and it makes me sad

[northwest-cryptid]

I can't explain it very well, and I know a lot of people will probably hate to hear it. But Limbus Company feels like seeing someone running around wearing the corpse of a friend like a cheap cosplay and everyone praising them for being the authentic real thing.

It makes me feel insane, because I know so few who actually understand the problems I have with it. Fewer who seem to understand we're never going to get back what we lost.

But I do find it really funny how Project Moon became the very thing it wrote about. Obviously to a less extreme degree, or at least a less direct degree; and everyone who played LC and said "wow this guy sucks, how can these people overlook all these crimes and still just go on with their lives!?" Play Limbus Company, pay for Gacha, and when I dare to mention how ironic that is; I'm slapped in the face with how I'm a bad person because this is how they cope with their trauma or something.

Mind you these are all like, 3 different issues that stem from the same larger issue with Project Moon as a company. I've heard people say this is a problem with "the greater market of games as a whole" but I just don't buy that when you have so many indie games that succeed well enough despite being authentic and true to themselves.

Project Moon made Limbus as a funding project, a way to have an ongoing story they could add to the lore with; while funding bigger and better projects. That was the intent originally; but when they earned more than they could have ever hoped for their true colors got revealed immediately, and we lost what was once a very promising company, game series, and world setting. Seeing how much the community has in the past, and continues to influence the direction of the company it's kind of sad to see this happen because it feels like we let this happen in a way, even though I do believe I did my part in trying to prevent it.

But hey, truth is; people like Limbus Company, it's not that it's necessarily a bad game or bad characters or even honestly a bad story. So I don't necessarily fault people for that, more power to them; I'm happy they can enjoy it. However It's not Lobotomy Corporation, hell it's not even Library of Ruina which wasn't even Lobotomy Corporation. We're never going to get the same setting as Lob Corp, sure maybe on the surface level shit. We're always going to have fixers, and horror themes, and shit like that whatever. It's never going to be able to grapple with the shit Lob Corp did though, it's not going to be able to tell those stories, it's not going to be able to go to the places Lob Corp did, because that's not who Project Moon is anymore, and they know VERY well that if they deviate too much from what's marketable, it's not going to make them money.

I could get into it, but I don't really feel up for it right now, not that my opinion genuinely matters that much. I'm sure I'll get one or two weird anon messages about how I'm stupid and "if I don't like it don't play it" or some shit. Sure I understand, and like; for the record I don't play it. But I'm not just sitting here bitching for the sake of being mad about something or complaining. I'm not even mad or upset, I'm fucking sad because what I loved about Project Moon, and it's world, and it's characters, and what it was saying and doing as a company? Yea that doesn't exist anymore, and it won't come back, we've lost it and there's no going back to the way it was.

Man if only we had been warned about the true horror of corporate greed and the corruption that comes from wealth and power somehow :P

[goopyedgay]

Uh time to be cringe

sometimes it makes me feel very bad and the fact of being a gregstella shipper bothers me, imagine that what you love the most and makes you happy is also what hurts you the most, I'm not doing anything wrong and still the people get to be very annoying and cruel to me, I want to believe because I am the one who is actively creating content about them, so I guess it makes sense that I'm the one who takes the hits.

I'm someone who tries to take things calmly but sometimes I just explode over things as simple and stupid as these, I know I asked people to block me if my content bothers them, and I appreciate that they do, but there are also people that the only thing seeks is to annoy, even sending me messages that I should kms.

I couldn't care less about these things when I'm in a good mood but in these moments when I just feel bad and I can only say, I'm sorry? sorry for shipping two characters that have nothing problematic? I wish I had become obsessed with something else instead of this but I can't help it, I've been dealing with this shit since last year, but now that I've become more open it only makes things worse.

I can't even calmly interact with the hellpark fandom because I'm afraid they'll get mad at me and point out that I'm "proshipper" or "lesbiphobic", at this point I don't even want to draw HP Estella and Gregory together, I have to admit that I ship them and that was the reason why I started doing it gregstella content, but to avoid problems I created my own au or whatever. (and it ended up becoming a very ambitious project wow)

I'm not lesbiphobic, in fact, I really like ships wlw, and I have considered being a lesbian many times but i'm aro so meh, just because I like a "straight" ship doesn't negate everything else, it will sound like an excuse but I don't even consider Gregory to be a man (or at least the one from hellpark and my au) or a woman, I consider him as... Gregory just being Gregory? I don't really give much importance to this hc thing because at the end of the day my favorite characters are my favorite characters for other reasons and not just for that, and I found myself unfortunate that my two favorite characters are two that you can't ship because it's "wrong". I know there are some gregstella shippers who have said or done unpleasant things, but there will always be weird people, and that doesn't mean we should pigeonhole us all into that.

It's sad that I have to say something as stupid as this to me. But I needed to get this off my chest because I'm really getting tired of this kind of stuff, I'll probably delete this later or maybe keep it here so people are clear about where I stand and stop saying or misinforming what I do or say, like e.g. I draw nsfw (something I have never done publicly and I haven't drawn this type of explicit things for years since I was grommed lol, and if I did in the future that is something that does not concern you, much less if you are minors)

Anyway, thank you very much to the people who support me and like my art, you really motivate me to continue being open with what I like and continue bringing content for the community of this beautiful ship, or even if you don't like the ship and you only like my artstyle, it is also appreciated ♥️

This is more vent than a clarification, but hey, take it as you want, love y'all!

[boltlightning]

ok. saw sweeney todd revival on broadway. i went from not knowing any songs to seeing two productions in one summer so. thoughts:

because im me my immediate takeaway was: it's been a hot second since i saw a show with the orchestra in a pit down in front of the stage AND it was a 26-person orchestra with refreshed orchestrations! it was so crispy and tight and the energy of being able to see the conductor is difficult to put into words. i'm beyond glad they didn't hide the musicians backstage

there were a lot of people there just for josh groban — i was with family whom i persuaded to see this show because of josh groban, and i heard many people in line being like "hey so is josh groban the bad guy? how much does he kill" and there were some changes i feel reflected that. there was so much physical humor, and sometimes lines were added to further give context to someone's actions. i think it works overall, but you could feel the crowd paying less attention when mrs. lovett or sweeney weren't on stage lol

and it's so unsettling! the chorus has some incredible and strange choreography; the light coming through the steps up to the second story is so ominous; the harmonies SOAR through the theater. it's good stuff.

potentially spoily stuff about the production itself below:

and yes OF COURSE the leads were incredible. i feel like len cariou's sweeney is so angry and yet refined, and michael ball's goes hard on the madness and revenge, but groban's is so...sad. he's such a dad, he sings like an angel, it is so uncomfortable when he does something violent. groban's epiphany is HAUNTING and ELECTRIC and the way he interacts with the razors is incredible! and the way he plays a little priest is hilarious but makes it very clear that it is an extension of his mental break. genuinely and eye-opening experience thank you mr. groban

and ashford takes the more emotional cues from the 2007 movie, but makes you actually care about her lmao. like compared to lansbury's frenetic and absent-minded lovett, ashford is laid back and casual and almost lazy about all the weird shit happening around her. she feels bad about locking toby up, sure, but she's still gonna use it as an excuse to get sweeney to pay attention to her! she's funny she's heartfelt she's insane she wants to fuck sweeney todd so fucking bad. it's an incredible combo

and. yeah the rumors are true. she climbs josh groban like a jungle gym the entire time, and on the rare occasion sweeney snaps out of his brooding to reciprocate the flirting, it is HOT. their camaraderie on and off stage is potent. and it works in the other direction too — when he starts to flinch away from her in the second act it's painful.

i do think that the ending sequence in particular is kind of messy up until the last scene in the bake house; there's not a moment to breathe and not in a way that seems intentional? and some of the scenes with the judge/johanna/anthony subplot could have used some love. but. minor qualms. i am biased because kiss me through pretty women is probably my favorite section of the show 😵‍💫

my last takes are: johanna and the beadle in this production are unbelievably good. johanna leaned so into the bird motifs, as well as the idea that she is done waiting around and ready to do violence, much like her father. and the beadle is delightfully amoral and hates his job and delights in the power it affords him. i am so glad they didn't cut parlor songs and let him really eat it up

and. the last shot of sweeney and mrs. lovett is so so so good and i hope they do a professional filmed production of this so people can experience that alone. josh groban's in this it'll sell like hot cakes PLEASE just do it

my first experience with sweeney todd was a local production i saw this june, in a deeply intimate 300-seat theater. i was sitting so close i could've set my drink on the stage. the sweeney was elegant and suave and tortured; mrs lovett was so casually and affably mean. i will think about them forever! and it's very interesting to compare it to the big fuck-off money production considering they both got roasted for having a more emotional sweeney!! here's the theater's 40 second promo for it!!!

nothing will ever replace the original soundtrack in my heart. but i'm gonna be unwell about this revival for a bit

anyway that's all i got!! thanks for reading if you read this. attend the tale and all that (obligatory tag for @r-osehips thank you for the interest ❤️)

[nattyontherun]

Okay. Okay fine! I'll explain (some!) of the YOI IWTV AU :] (no one asked. The one person who asked has been crying and served me divorce papers already. That's alright, I'll win them back. @sugarbunbie haha takemebackplsibegimnothingwithoutyo-- EHM EHM ANYWAYS!!)

So I've been having brainworms. Brainworms in proportions hitherto undreamth of. And those brainworms begin and end with Viktor as Lestat!

Haha. I'm not joking.

If you follow me on AO3, or at least read a few of my latest (very short) fics, you'll be well aware that the reason I've slowed down writing is because my laptop is busted and I've been using my phone to update stuff. Very sad, I know. What I did NOT account for, however, is the utter lack of decorum watching s2 of IWTV would give me, let alone the grand ol' idea of making a YOI AU out of it.

I'm still kinda stuck at the stage where haha, Viktor!Stat.

Anyways seeing as updates are slow and, very likely, I won't dive beyond IWTV s1-2 in terms of plot points (and since it's not a 1:1, at all, I say that with a lot of caveats. Character journey, perchance? Emotionally, rather than physically and actually. Smth smth self actualization for our LouClaudia characters, ehm. As I was saying!!) so I figured I'd make a small Tumblr post the way I did for my NRT threesome AU series ( - which I HAVE NOT DROPPED BTW!!! It's just really long and plotty, and I need an actual writing-specific device to work on it since I need to do more research!!!), just explain a few things that may be lost to the crevices of the AU series.

1. I described the first part of the series, seek me with dead eyes (embody me) as kind of a stand-in for the San Francisco fiasco in 1973, because it's not a proper "interview". I'm debating on keeping it that way for the sake of a more compact story, particularly because I don't plan to delve more into the "DM" of this AU,,,, but I will confirm that the interview with Georgi is the basis for many of the fics that follow, even if Georgi doesn't feature predominantly/at all.

2. Yes, there will be Yuuri and Viktor-centric fics to come. Yuuri's will probably be the last one of the series, and the Viktor fic will be a gift. I'm honestly excited to write it, he's the whole reason I bothered to drag my fingers over my phone keyboard and WORK at this au!!

3. Reiterating that Yuri and Yuuri share the burden of being both Louis and Claudia, for the reason that neither of them could EVER be a 1:1 of either of those characters and to put them in such boxes would be a disservice to all four characters involved lmao.

It's particularly for this reason, plus the fact that I'm not framing Yuri as a "son" for Viktuuri, that the focus of the series has morphed. I still think and want to ensure that the AU remains very much about grief, loss and loneliness - but the heart of it will not be about the horrible death of a child.

Will the fic series be less devastating to account for these changes? Maybe? I'm very inclined towards horror myself, if you've looked into my catalogue more, so I'm not shy about introducing some of the more grotesque, vile shit that happens in IWTV, but I figure if it doesn't serve a purpose in the narrative I'm building, I won't bother with writing it out because, again, I'm using my phone and I have wrist problems djsjsjjdjd.

4. Speaking of: there are plenty more characters in the AU, from YOI, that serve as an amalgam of IWTV characters too! Unlike YuuYu however, they have no counterpart to 'shoulder the burden' so to speak. You'll probably know them when you see them, as they crop up over time. It's especially relevant for Viktor's half of the enfolding story!!

5. I'm honestly just making this Tumblr post because I'm a. Bored and b. Driving myself up the wall with each new revelation I'm making out of this AU. None of which I've put on here, I think, thankfully. Very spoiler-y, that. Hahahahahaha. I wrote much of the very first fic in a mad haze and now I'm rethreading it to write out the plot more, beyond that burst of sudden all encompassing inspiration - and I am absolutely insane. I really am. Feel free to DM me here or on Discord or utilize asks if you're intrigued or wanna toss questions - I will absolutely answer because it's all I'm yapping about for the next forever and ever.

K thanks bye!!!